CWCki - User contributions [en]

Zapina

2015-03-16T15:37:43Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{quote|Zapina is a fast-talking, very energetic, spunky, inquisitive little gal.|- [[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Chris]], [[pedofork|describing his ideal partner]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Zapina_Cwckipedia_ver.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Zapina Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| c. November 1993 (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Height'''
| 2'6" (76.2 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Bug/Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Unknown
|-
| '''Education'''
| Unknown; Presumably CWCville High
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]] (means unknown)
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| N/A
|-
|}
'''Zapina''' is a fourteen-year-old [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] who longs to strip for [[women's rights]]. She's part-Insect... somehow, meaning she has wings and her ass glows. Where did she come from? How and why is she so much younger than all the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]? Nobody knows, and fortunately, nobody gives a damn.

==Appearance==
[[Image:Zapina.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Curse those dumb laws!]]
Surprisingly, Zapina does not appear to be ripped-off wholesale from any other existing character. She does have the yellow color and ears of [[Pikachu]], as well as the eye style of a [[Sonic]] character, but the fact that she's part-Insect is all original. Yes, you read that right: for once, Chris has "created" something that is only somewhat derivative.

Despite existing solely as a means for Chris to somehow disprove criticisms on [[Pedofork|pedophilia]], she is easily the skankiest-dressed Rosechu in the series; she sports daisy-dukes and a low-cut, midriff-baring tube top, which no responsible parent would let even a high-schooler near, and appears to be wearing makeup at points.

==Appearances==
===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
At the gals' protest strip for [[women's rights]], Zapina begs the fascist [[Rosechu]] to allow her to get naked for the camera. Sensibly, Rosechu won't allow her to be present (citing "dumb laws"), until [[Lolisa Rosechu]] promises to "look after" her. She helps by using her powers to provide light for their horrifying strip protest.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
In the [[dating education]] episode, we see [[Simonla Rosechu]] outside CWCville U talking to Zapina. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend" which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16 year old boy".

In the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]] we see that she is not only an aspiring erotic model, but also a full-fledged child soldier. During the attack on CWCville by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Zapina engages in mortal combat with a group of Jerkops despite her young age <ref>''[[Sonichu 9]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_64 p. 63]</ref>.

[[Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Should be self-explanatory.]]

===[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]===

While not making any appearances, Zapina is mentioned as having become [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s babysitter and mentor.<ref>''[[Sonichu 10]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_86 p. 86]</ref> This presumably means that Sandy will be fighting for [[Women's rights#In the comic|women's rights]] from the tender age of one year.

==Pedoforkism==

There are three Rosechus who have implied they would like to sexually exploit Zapina. The first is Rosechu, who mentioned those gosh darn laws; second is Lolisa, who says it's A-OK for a child to be around women stripping nude; now Simonla seems to be trying to nudge Zapina into a sexual relationship of her own.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Rosechus]]

Sweetheart

2015-02-28T21:12:26Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]
{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with Rage|virginity]] (side-quest complete), and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, and a trip to a hooker (two in fact). Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself applied generously, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Christian's [[Gal Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts by virtue of the fact that they are known to Christian and don't appear to hate him.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Christian spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Hambeast|bent a little]], as expedient.

*18 - [insert current age] Years Old
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Christian established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==

[[File:Chris-chan_010714.JPG|thumb|Helloooooo, ladies.]]

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes, "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that there's a special someone waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White Knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to rebut the idea.

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are quite a few reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a man in his thirties who plays with children's toys and video games, and still lives with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment are almost completely alien concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly [[Chris and money|wasted on stupid crap he doesn't need.]] On top of that, he implies a lot that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home while his wife goes to work]]. He doesn't even plan on looking after the kids for her, he'd dump this responsibility on his highly disturbed mother. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has issues that would damage a relationship.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that upset women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] [[Catherine|found]] themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. On his date with Catherine, he made a point of bragging about learning from his mistakes with Megan ... then ''molested'' Catherine by hugging her and burying his face in her breasts, despite being told not to. Needless to say, had this been a real date, Catherine and "cousin Al" would've [[Kick the Autistic|beaten him up]] or [[Michael Snyder|called the]] [[Jerkops|cops]] at this point. He also [[List of Chris's lies|lies a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can damage a girl's trust in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] has led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without meaning it. On top of that, he seems to be of the idea that women in a relationship with him [[Women's_rights#In_real_life|will tolerate waiting on him hand and foot while he plays video games all day, and bear his children.]] No self-respecting woman will ever put up with that nonsense.

'''3) Chris is not self-sufficient.''' As mentioned before, Chris doesn't have a job and currently has no plans to strike it out on his own, opting instead to live with his mother. His welfare after room and board deductions is barely over the $200 mark, which he wastes on toys and video games instead of saving for something really important. He also has a habit of landing himself into [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards|debt]] with his purchases, and isn't even aware of [[Mumble 4|all of the necessary bills one needs to pay to keep a house running.]] He has also [[PlayingHouse|indicated]] that if he becomes a family man, he will be leeching off his wife instead of looking for work on his own. It'll become crystal clear to any woman who learns this about Chris that he is definitely not marriage material, as he has at no point in his life been able to support himself, much less a family.

'''4) Chris has issues with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]].''' Above and beyond Chris's problems with self-sufficiency is the person he is dependent on. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but Barb isn't the easiest of people to live with. Aside from her own [[Barb#Mental|personality problems]], she has issues with hoarding, she has many of the same issues with authority figures that Chris does, and shows only slightly more of an ability to manage her money. True, a lot of suitors have their own problem with difficult relatives, but Chris has (aside from his devotion to being a [[Tomgirl]]) been shown to be neither willing nor able to stand up to her. As it stands, Barb is another obstacle on his [[Love Quest]] and if Chris was willing to move out from under her shadow his chances of landing a sweetheart would substantially improve.

'''5) [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Chris's Hygiene]].''' Chris does not shower regularly, believing that all you need to be hygienic are a few sprays of [[Axe]]. He also lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy house with garbage everywhere]], and routinely [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shits himself]]. [[Emily|One woman]] has described him as smelling like 'rotten watermelons'.

'''6) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Chris is not inherently ugly, but his lifestyle and fashion choices have rendered his appearance deeply repulsive. Even before he started dressing like a [[Tomgirl]] (already a deterrent in itself for a [[Homos|certain reason]]), Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance, as shown in the picture above. In fact, when first spotted from a distance by Catherine, she believed she was looking at an ugly old woman. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|clinically obese]]. And let's not get started on a certain medallion he always wore back in the day, which only made him look laughably worse. Long story short, if Chris dressed somewhat fashionably, bothered grooming himself properly and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit. In fact, during Chris's stint as a [[Carlos Chantor|male escort]], his appearance was, ignoring his obesity for a moment, rather presentable and he appeared well-groomed.

'''7) Chris acts like a dork.''' Again, although it sounds shallow, the fact remains that Chris' childish mannerisms can repel women. Take a look at [[For My Sweetest_Ivy|this video where he attempts to woo Ivy,]] for example. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream 'manchild', and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His recent [[Tomgirl]] antics haven't helped either- he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which can cement in potential sweethearts' minds that he's possibly ''gay.'' (Sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomgirl pictures was [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|featured on MTV's Failosophy]], where the ''only'' person who would date him was the [[Homos|gay guy.]])

'''8) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A feature of autism is hostility to and even fear of change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it interferes with his immediate [[China|interests]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction, as many trolls posing as women have tried to do.

'''9) Chris is an intolerant bigot.''' [[Homos|He still hates gay men.]] He has shown insensitivity (if not outright [[Niggos|enmity]]) towards people of different races. Woe be onto you if [[Noviophobia|you're ''male'']], too. Needless to say, the only women who'd approve of this stance would have to be outright racists who don't have any male friends themselves, and then you'd have to consider the fact that they must also put up with financially supporting a couch potato who plans to let her do everything for him and shits himself, which would put the grand total of women who'd be interested in Chris to a big, fat '''ZERO.''' For an example of this and how women would not tolerate such an attitude, consider [[March_2013_Facebook_posts#Gay_Marriage|this homophobic post he made]] (and the replies he got as a result) on Facebook (to truly hammer the point home, Kim, a long-time ''friend'' of Chris's, chastised him for his bigotry.)

'''10) Chris has problems with authority.''' Despite the cliché that 'all girls love [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|bad boys]]', women looking for a committed relationship are extremely leery of SOs who keep getting into scrapes with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. Consider that Chris has on [[26 December 2014|two]] separate [[28 October 2011|occasions]] come very close to being sent to jail for several months; this is on top of his other lesser [[List of places that have banned Chris|brushes with authority figures]]. And it's not even as though Chris's attitude stems from him [[Episode 17#Epilogue|fighting for an important cause]] - Chris is willing to risk imprisonment for something as petty as [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of a character's arms]]. Even if Chris does find his elusive sweetheart, few will be able to put up with the constant stream of bans, fines, and jailtime brought about by Chris's [[Chris and anger|poor self-control]].

'''11) Chris is incompetent.''' Chris has claimed, numerous times, to be proficient [[CADD|in]] [[Chris and Art|several]] [[Chris and Music|skills]], but in reality is incompetent in pretty much every sphere imaginable. He compares [[Father Call|cleaning his house to fighting in a war]], and even then, [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|his idea of "cleaning the house" leaves a lot to be desired]]. One could even argue that it's because of this and his lack of common sense that the afforementioned [[14 Branchland Court|house]] eventually [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burned to the ground]] when he thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee with an extension lead in his bathroom. He has been employed for maybe a few months in his whole life, then was fired, as he proved too egotistical and stubborn [[Wendy's|to keep even a minimum wage job at a fast food place]], and he simply hasn't bothered since. He gets himself [[Banned|into]] [[28_October_2011|trouble]] way more times than he should, such as his attempts to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]], where basic common sense should have told him to stay away like he'd been told. So, long story short, ladies, If you were looking for somebody to be the "man of the house", would Chris even remotely fit the bill?

'''12) Chris's past will always return to haunt him.''' Thanks to the combined forces of the internet, [[weens]], and even Chris ''himself'', there are literally volumes [[Death Threats|of]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|unsavory]] [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|information]] about Chris out in the open for all to see, almost all of which is documented right here. Chris knows this all too well, which is why he strongly discourages anybody from doing even a simple Google Search about him. This was, in fact, one of the key reasons why he didn't even make it to first base with [[The Wallflower]] - a ween mailed her a link to the [[CWCki]]. But even if we were to put aside anything to do with the internet, there are still many, ''many'' embarassing and undesirable things about Chris that will, in one way or the other, surface that would damage, if not outright destroy a budding relationship - to which this very list can attest.

'''13) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a book to try and get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role as the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his Ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Back in the day, even if a girl did express interest, Chris would've been too shy to even talk back to her. He's a little more confident today, but it's hardly done wonders for his chances of scoring - instead he'll turn her off with a cheesy, ham-fisted attempt at a pickup line that just makes him look incredibly creepy and out-of-touch. If there was such a girl who could and would overcome these barriers, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. In his entire life, he has barely had any friends, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his habit of holding back on anything that requires effort and no immediate reward (like moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, etc.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

==Conclusion==
Despite [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|having said that]] girls should go after poorer, less attractive guys because "they will likely have a better personality", Chris doesn't seem to think that the same applies for the opposite gender. He still insists his sweetheart must be physically attractive and well-off enough to financially support him, not realizing that he himself leaves a lot to be desired in terms of being boyfriend material.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Boyfriend-free girl]]
*[[Gal pal]]
*[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Noviophobia]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Sweethearts}}

Weens

2015-02-25T21:04:51Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn, I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after--after you, uh--after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [pause] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [...] Ah, interrogating autistics, it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. |[[BlueSpike]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|torturing Chris]] and giving a clear-cut perfect example of weening.}}

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[white knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Both a corruption of the phrase "epic win" and a nod to the [[wikipedia:Ween|music group]], weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the success of prominent trolls, but generally just embarrass themselves due to their lack of originality and wit. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the ''shit'' out of non-weens with their [[Chris and art|complete lack of talent]] [[random-access humor|and insular sense of humor]].

Think we're exaggerating? Maybe a video or two will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}} {{#ev:youtube|4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's house. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY!]]" into the phone.
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the vast majority of these dumbasses are both. The original A-Log was as much of a ween as your average A-Log, what with his unfunny ''MST3K''-style "commentaries" that made people who made similar (and ''much'' better) videos do a collective facepalm.
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Attempting to drag people who once interacted with Chris such as [[Megan]] and [[Cole Smithey]] back into the spotlight.
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry, folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'' already did it; it's time to move on.
* Terrible fanfiction that focuses solely on murdering [[Sonichu]] characters. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris that make "[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]" sound like a lyrical masterpiece penned by [[wikipedia:Morrissey|Morrissey]].
* Any kind of trolling plan, really. But most notably...
* ...breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]], such as vandalizing Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]], illegally recording telephone conversations, or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to say this, but for fuck's sake, people, '''DON'T DO THIS.'''

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah, yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" at Chris is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days, and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

But why?

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] examines [[Tomgirl|his]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] [[Chris and reality|and]] [[Chris and his Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. Neo-nazis (looking at you, [[4-cent_garbage.com|/pol/]]), [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Borb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|hate groups]], [[pedofork|pedophile]]s, [[Allison Amber|corrupt politicians]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]], malware writers and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.

Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum laughs, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be (discussed in further detail below). The amount of effort you would need to put into piercing his layers of white knights and paranoia would be staggering to say the least. Even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been extracted from years of trolling and information gathering, except perhaps the odd [[CWC-ism]] he occasionally makes up. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be lucky to get a few cobwebs and a layer of dust in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit yet.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively (in)famous even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposedly fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't mean to get into professional trolling. BlueSpike didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character; he just rolled with it when Chris assumed he was a girl because of his voice. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that spread from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian Gee]] used to be a sincere white knight until she got [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|fed up with Chris's antics]]. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a YouTube nobody who turned out to be surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions, and was eventually noticed by Chris himself out of the blue. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. [[Ivy]] only contacted him to ask for a shout-out; she had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

The biggest factor in whether or not a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck, so stop trying to commence shitty trolling plans. Planning really doesn't work with Chris.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as 2007's Chris was. However, Chris himself has actually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] or [[Vanessa Hudgens]], or someone from his past, chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme paranoia, to the extent where he's even turned down attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]]. Needless to say, he no longer responds to any random dork who contacts him, meaning that most trolling plans nowadays will fail to even get off the ground.

===Your idea is probably not original===
Whatever it is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, that [[Vanessa Hudgens]] wanted to date him, or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER]] whom everyone else truly thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some minor variation on something that's already been done, like ''"what if we got his [[high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another stock parody of his comic?"'', so if the trolls have already done it, then Chris has already seen it, too.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===
Most of Chris's content came from a time when he believed he had lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loved him. The constant amount of epic weenery has made him think of himself as a victim who won't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he's wised up and become far more private, meaning barely any content for us.

It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces better content by himself rather than due to being harassed by weens. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death, Chris has been prosecuted [[28 October 2011|twi]][[26 December 2014|ce]], made outlandish conspiracy theories about [[Megan Schroeder|someone]] he hasn't even spoken to for years, accidentally set fire to his house, and swapped his already unappealing wardrobe for an [[Tomgirl Pictures|even worse one]]; all without any impetus from the trolls. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had either toned down the vitriol, or at least reined himself in enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with attacking Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met in real life would have had some skeletons in their own closet.

By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is very likely to get you noticed by other trolls, who will in turn start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|dusty boy band CDs from years past]].

===Even if you do succeed, you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris may get more than they bargained for. Liquid Chris is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then he will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who willingly listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] [[mass debate]] for hours on end and forced him to cram a [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC|clay]] [[medallion]] up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? And do you think that [[Michael Snyder]] enjoys being constantly reminded by various weens of almost becoming the victim of [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]] in misguided attempts to congratulate him? In all these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.

===Chris is still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current drought in content is because of a shortage of trolling triggers, consider that we would be having a windfall in content of unprecedented scale right now, had Chris not given up on making frequent videos. A lot has happened over the last year or so, although you wouldn't know it from the intermittent updates. Chris has learned that [[Catherine]] was fake, been led to believe his [[gal-pals]] never liked him, flushed down his [[eBay]] and commission money on [[Lego]], [[Destruction Of Chris's House|accidentally set his house alight]], and began what will probably be a long [[Sonic Boom Protests|crusade against blue arms]]. If Chris still had his old enthusiasm for content creation, we'd be utterly spoiled.

In fact, even in the "golden age" of trolling, many of Chris's most fondly-remembered moments had little or no active involvement from the trolls. Chris spilled the beans about his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS during an IRC chat about a mostly unrelated subject. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] came out of the seemingly innocuous act of him [[House tour|videotaping the inside of his house]] and putting it up on YouTube. The events of [[28 October 2011]] would likely have taken much longer to come to light if not for Chris himself posting pictures of [[Michael Snyder]] and various other details to this very wiki within hours of him getting home from jail. Chris's [[26 December 2014|macing of a GameStop employee]] was provoked by a minor change to a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]'s design that was done by professional video game designers unaware of the vitriol they'd receive from Chris in turn. And one can only imagine what on Earth possessed him to not only draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], but to post it online and [[Madman Rising|proudly proclaim]] that it depicted Megan, one of the few real friends he's ever had.

Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster that not even the triumphant return of Clyde Cash could top how he's trolling himself. So just sit back, relax, and [[CWCki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it by complete accident.

[[Category:Trolling]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2015-02-18T02:15:18Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{Incomplete}}

A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her Dragonite to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights violations and poor resource allocation that unsurprisingly fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfil the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run, and in fact are shown to have immunity from the law.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent people with mental handicaps who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, who they know full well are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s son [[Naitsirhc]] is shown to have ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team Chris describes him having. Combined with how no trainers from the video games or the anime appear in the series, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and friends, whose bodies are presumably decaying in shallow graves somewhere outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]] is shown as a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee".
* No reason is given as to why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot at defeating Mary Lee Walsh. If they had missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* Sonic, a seasoned superhero, not only lets the much more inexperienced Sonichu go in ahead of him but does so even after suspecting that they're walking into a trap. Letting Sonichu take point and even springing the aforementioned trap without so much as a warning was pretty weaselly on Sonic's part.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Speaking of [[Flame the Sunbird]], he's only able to fly for about 20 miles (the distance between the shores to where Bubbles is) before being winded. For a bird, especially one that's a self-styled guardian, this is a pathetic level of physical fitness.
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on out is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the obnoxious assumption that [[Third date|women always putout after the 3rd date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading unpleasant pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault, but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names, which doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who [[Simonla Rosechu|DigDugette416]] could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast, Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.
* Nobody is shown to give two shits about the death of Ms. Jackaras at the end of the story.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of pure, unquenchable evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifyingly violent and sadistic psychopaths]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!
* Chris poisons the planet's water supplies with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating ethnic cleansing against homosexuals, bisexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows an [[honor roll|inexcusable ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris rapes his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]", sealing it up beforehand as well to ensure that nothing escapes as he does so.
* Chris (By now, you're probably realizing it's almost ''all'' Chris.) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris violently injects his own blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] destroy a populated high-rise building, killing and injuring hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face hard enough to knock out his teeth, for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman]]'s house completely unprovoked, and brutally attacks her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, before having her stripped of her powers and sent to a maximum security prison with no trial.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (She refused a previous offer.) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and the gang, including a week-old girl and a [[Kel|preteen]], brutally execute four people in humiliating and inhumane ways as part of what can only be called a crime against humanity. But remember, it's a kid's comic!
* Chris disrespects [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|a national holiday]] by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly supressed.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

GameStop Assault

2014-12-29T03:00:05Z

Singel Minory Comic:

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short film clip captured by Tumblr user monozettai<ref name=Tumblr>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>, in which Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local [[GameStop]]. Captured on 26 December 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkop|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris sprays pepper spray into the eyes of the employee who was calling security, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognized him as the Chris they know and previously refused to tolerate - though it is claimed by monozettai that they did, and he refused to leave.

[[File:Chris chan dec 2014.png|thumb|Demonstrating his calm and collected demeanor in the face of antagonisation, Chris blows a raspberry at the camera.]] True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris's fashion sense seems to be at its worst now that he's crossdressing - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favorite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Video Background==
After the video was discovered by the Christorians, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=tumblr>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Spray and Aftermath==
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
According to some, including monozettai<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. However, many expressed doubt on this due to the mild reaction of Chris's victim, theorizing it may be spray paint or [[Tomgirl Saga|perfume]] (whatever it was, he's guilty of assault regardless). Ultimately, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account on Facebook to be sure, but that's assuming [[Sub-episodes|he doesn't twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]]. Eventually, it was later confirmed that the substance he sprayed on the employee was, in fact, mace.

A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise.

Leaked low quality audio from a police scanner indicated that Chris also caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, may have attempted to ''carjack a man'' in the parking lot, who promptly called the police, and that Barbara knows what has happened as the police somehow managed to contact her for information. It also seems that the police didn't catch him at the mall, at one point saying that he left the building half an hour ago. As such, it is unclear when or where the police caught him, but he was likely caught on the same day, meaning that as of 28 December, Chris has been in prison for two days.

A [[Jail call|phone call]] to a local jail on the 28 December revealed that Chris was indeed in jail, awaiting a hearing the next day for these charges. Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public, it'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkops|the police]].

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Catherine}} Catherine Saga, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[To Mr. Smith]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera, then blows a raspberry.'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with mace, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail call]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

GameStop Assault

2014-12-29T02:35:39Z

Singel Minory Comic:

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short film clip captured by Tumblr user monozettai<ref name=Tumblr>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>, in which Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local [[GameStop]]. Captured on 26 December 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkop|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris sprays pepper spray into the eyes of the employee who was calling security, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognized him as the Chris they know and previously refused to tolerate - though it is claimed by monozettai that they did, and he refused to leave.

[[File:Chris chan dec 2014.png|thumb|Demonstrating his calm and collected demeanor in the face of antagonisation, Chris blows a raspberry at the camera.]] True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris's fashion sense seems to be at its worst now that he's crossdressing - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favorite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Video Background==
After the video was discovered by the Christorians, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=tumblr>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Spray and Aftermath==
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
According to some, including monozettai<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. However, many expressed doubt on this due to the mild reaction of Chris's victim, theorizing it may be spray paint or [[Tomgirl Saga|perfume]] (whatever it was, he's guilty of assault regardless). Ultimately, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account on Facebook to be sure, but that's assuming [[Sub-episodes|he doesn't twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]]. Eventually, it was later confirmed that the substance he sprayed on the employee was, in fact, mace.

A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise.

Leaked low quality audio from a police scanner indicated that Chris also caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, may have attempted to ''carjack a man'' in the parking lot, who promptly called the police, and that Barbara knows what has happened as the police somehow managed to contact her for information. It also seems that the police didn't catch him at the mall, at one point saying that he left the building half an hour ago. As such, it is unclear when or where the police caught him, but he was likely caught on the same day, meaning that as of 28 December, Chris has been in prison for two days.

A [[Jail call|phone call]] to a local jail on the 28 December revealed that Chris was indeed in jail, awaiting a hearing the next day for these charges. Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public, it'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkops|the police]].

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject =
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous =
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera, then blows a raspberry.'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with mace, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

GameStop Assault

2014-12-29T02:32:51Z

Singel Minory Comic: Added some fanart.

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short film clip captured by Tumblr user monozettai<ref name=Tumblr>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>, in which Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local [[GameStop]]. Captured on 26 December 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkop|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris sprays pepper spray into the eyes of the employee who was calling security, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognized him as the Chris they know and previously refused to tolerate - though it is claimed by monozettai that they did, and he refused to leave.

[[File:Chris chan dec 2014.png|thumb|Demonstrating his calm and collected demeanor in the face of antagonisation, Chris blows a raspberry at the camera.]] True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris's fashion sense seems to be at its worst now that he's crossdressing - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favorite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Video Background==
After the video was discovered by the Christorians, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=tumblr>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Spray and Aftermath==
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
According to some, including monozettai<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. However, many expressed doubt on this due to the mild reaction of Chris's victim, theorizing it may be spray paint or [[Tomgirl Saga|perfume]] (whatever it was, he's guilty of assault regardless). Ultimately, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account on Facebook to be sure, but that's assuming [[Sub-episodes|he doesn't twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]]. Eventually, it was later confirmed that the substance he sprayed on the employee was, in fact, mace.

A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise.

Leaked low quality audio from a police scanner indicated that Chris also caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, may have attempted to ''carjack a man'' in the parking lot, who promptly called the police, and that Barbara knows what has happened as the police somehow managed to contact her for information. It also seems that the police didn't catch him at the mall, at one point saying that he left the building half an hour ago. As such, it is unclear when or where the police caught him, but he was likely caught on the same day, meaning that as of 28 December, Chris has been in prison for two days.

A [[Jail call|phone call]] to a local jail on the 28 December revealed that Chris was indeed in jail, awaiting a hearing the next day for these charges. Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public, it'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkops|the police]].

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject =
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous =
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera, then blows a raspberry.'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with mace, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg

2014-12-29T02:29:51Z

Singel Minory Comic:

From a offline friend of a poster from the CWCKI Boards and posted repeatedly on one of the many threads on Chris's December 2014 arrest.
[[Category:Chris fan art]] [[Category:Jerkops]]

File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg

2014-12-29T02:27:37Z

Singel Minory Comic: From a offline friend of a poster from the CWCKI Boards and posted repeatedly on one of the many threads on Chris's December 2014 arrest.

From a offline friend of a poster from the CWCKI Boards and posted repeatedly on one of the many threads on Chris's December 2014 arrest.

GameSpot Assault

2014-12-28T05:47:19Z

Singel Minory Comic:

The '''GameStop Assault''' video is a short clip captured by Tumblr user monozettai<ref name=Tumblr>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>, in which Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned among by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local [[GameStop]]. Captured on 26 December 2014, the video<ref>https://videobin.org/+8ev/b90.html</ref> shows Chris loudly requesting that the store's employees not bother with calling [[jerkop|anyone]], presumably to have him forcefully ejected from the premises. Strutting confidently out of the store, Chris pepper-sprays an innocent employee, who understandably reacts with an expression of both horror and confusion. Chris supposedly intended to deface a [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]] display at the store; it is not clear whether or not he succeeded, or if the employees at the store recognized him as the Chris-chan they know and previously refused to tolerate.

[[File:Chris chan dec 2014.png|thumb|Demonstrating his calm and collected demeanor in the face of adversity, Chris blows a raspberry at the camera.]] True to [[Chris and fashion|form]], Chris is dressed like a rainbow of fail - his outfit consists of novelty purple [[My Little Pony]] toy glasses, [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]] hoodie, blue denim shorts, purple leggings, a [[hair]]band and what appear to be light-brown Ugg boots. Note that the ill-fitting Manchester High hoodie seems to be a firm favorite in Chris's tomgirl wardrobe, as it is also seen in the [[I Love You, Catherine]] video.

==Video Background==
After the video was discovered by the Christorians, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.

 That’s about it, really. Nobody I was with that day had any clue who Chris-chan is and I did not really want to enlighten them. I waited an hour or two before uploading the video because I had been showing it to friends in my contacts. Like I said, I don’t care to become involved and I don’t even live in Virginia so I can’t get any more footage anyway, but that’s all that happened. I’m indifferent towards Chris, I honestly was just excited that I ran into such an infamous internet legend. So yeah.<ref name=tumblr>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Spray and Aftermath==
According to a troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref>, the substance sprayed on the hapless employee was indeed mace, or a derivative thereof. A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum /> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing potentially a financially destabilizing year in 2015.

A Christorian uploaded the video to YouTube, upon which Chris commented:

{{quotebox|That [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|CURSED]] employee called me a [[JERK|male]] and told me to [[Chris and reality|accept Sonic's new design]], so I rightfully maced him. Besides, [[Ego|he COULDN'T retaliate because I am a trans]].}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = GameSpot Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject =
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous =
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently out of the store. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with mace, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

GameSpot Assault

2014-12-28T05:45:17Z

Singel Minory Comic:

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-10-18T01:59:38Z

Singel Minory Comic:

__NOTOC__
A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her dragon to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that unsurprisingly fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent people with mental handicaps who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, who they know full well are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s kid has ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team CWC describes him having. Combined with no trainers from the video games appearing, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and co., whose bodies are presumably decaying in a shallow grave outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]] is a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee".
* No reason is given why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot. If they missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on out is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the obnoxious assumption that [[Women's rights|women always putout after the 3rd date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading unpleasant pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names. This doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who DigDugette416 could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of pure, unquenchable evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifying, violent sadists]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!
* Chris poisons the water supply with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating ethnic cleansing against homosexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows a [[honor roll|basic ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris rapes his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]".
* Chris (by now you're probably realizing it's almost ALL Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris inserts his blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris (and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|hedgehog boys]]) kill and injure hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into [[Mary Lee Walsh|another person's]] house, completely unprovoked, and paralyzes them.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and the gang (including a week-old girl) brutally murder four people in what can only be called a crime against humanity. But remember, it's a kid's comic!
* Chris disrespects a national holiday by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly supressed.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-09-29T18:13:41Z

Singel Minory Comic:

__NOTOC__
A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her dragon to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that unsurprisingly fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent people with mental handicaps who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, who they know full well are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* Giovanni's kid has ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team CWC describes him having. Combined with no trainers from the video games appearing, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and co., whose bodies are presumably decaying in a shallow grave outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]] is a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee".
* No reason is given why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot. If they missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* Rosechu is unable to free herself at the beginning of the episode because the bars are rubber-coated. However, Sonichu was able to free her by electrically spin-dashing through the bars near the end -- something that she should have been able to do herself [[Rosechu (character)#Sexism|as she has similar powers to Sonichu]]. So this is either a major plot-hole or Rosechu being incredibly stupid.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on out is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the obnoxious assumption that [[Women's rights|women always putout after the 3rd date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading unpleasant pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names. This doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who DigDugette416 could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of pure, unquenchable evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifying, violent sadists]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!
* Chris poisons the water supply with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating ethnic cleansing against homosexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows a [[honor roll|basic ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris rapes his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]".
* Chris (by now you're probably realizing it's almost ALL Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris inserts his blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris (and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|hedgehog boys]]) kill and injure hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into [[Mary Lee Walsh|another person's]] house, completely unprovoked, and paralyzes them.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and the gang (including a week-old girl) brutally murder four people in what can only be called a crime against humanity. But remember, it's a kid's comic!
* Chris disrespects a national holiday by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly supressed.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

Bigotry

2014-09-21T12:47:56Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{Disambiguation}}
There are many ways in which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is a '''bigot'''. The word may refer to:

* [[Slow-in-the-minds|Ableism]]
* <s>[[Homos|Homophobia]]</s> - Chris is [[August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_comes_out...kinda|no longer a homophobe]]. He also compares homophobes with trolls and cyberbullies too.
* [[Racism]]
* [[Women's rights|Sexism]]

Weens

2014-09-08T07:13:11Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[white knight|White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving ''fuck'' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video or two will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}} {{#ev:youtube|4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Personification of typical tryhard ween grasping at badassery.]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]]. Note that while not all weens are A-Logs and while not all A-Logs are weens, the vast majority of these dumbasses are both. The original A-Log was as much of a ween as an A-Log, what with his unfunny MST3K-wannabe videos.
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that wittily deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it, folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonee & Rosey|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[eBay|Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[Chris and the Law|law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property, illegally recording telephone conversations, or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to say this, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming '''JULAAAAAY!!!''' is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

Why?

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of Internet scumbags. Neo-nazis (looking at you, [[4-cent_garbage.com|/pol/]]), abusive lovers and parents, scam artists and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be. Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum lulz, current Chris (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. For the amount of effort you need to put into piercing his layers of white knights and paranoia you may as well just spend it on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet jackass is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being a lazy fuckwad, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White knight|White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions -- and then later noticed by Chris out of the blue. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. So stop trying to force your shitty trolling plans down Chris's throat.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no-one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris circa 2007-2009. However, Chris himself actually has learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] or [[Vanessa Hudgens]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme paranoia, to the extent where he's even turned down attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at high school or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]]. Needless to say, he no longer responds to any random dork who contacts him, meaning that most trolling plans will fail to even get off the ground.

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame. By and large, trolling plans tend to be some minor variation on what was already done, like 'what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?' or 'what if we got him to see another stock parody of his comic?'

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===
Most of Chris's content came from a time when he believed he had lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loved him. Constant epic weenery has made him think of himself as a victim who won't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he's wised up and become far more private, meaning a lack of content for us.

It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces better content by himself rather than due to being harassed by weens.

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet of their own. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current drought in content is because of a shortage of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content had Chris not given up on making videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake, to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm for content creation we'd be utterly spoiled.

In fact, even in the "golden age" of trolling, many of Chris's most fondly remembered moments had little or no active involvement from the trolls. To name just a few examples, Chris spilled the beans about his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] during an IRC chat about a mostly unrelated subject. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] came out of the seemingly innocuous act of Chris videoing the inside of his house and posting it to YouTube. The events of [[28 October 2011]] would likely have taken much longer to come to light if not for Chris himself posting pictures of [[Michael Snyder]] and various other details to this very wiki within hours of him getting home from jail. And one can only imagine what on Earth possessed him to not only draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], but to post it online and proudly proclaim that it depicted Megan, one of the few real friends he's ever had.

Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster that not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top how he's trolling himself. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Trolling]]

Weens

2014-08-30T20:36:11Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving ''fuck'' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video or two will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}} {{#ev:youtube|4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]]. Note that while not all weens are A-Logs and while not all A-Logs are weens, the vast majority of these dumbasses are both. The original A-Log was as much of a ween as an A-Log, what with his unfunny MST3K-wannabe videos.
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that wittily deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it, folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property, illegally recording telephone conversations, or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to say this, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming '''JULAAAAAY!!!''' is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

Why?

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Fanta|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of Internet scumbags. Neo-nazis (looking at you, [[4-cent_garbage.com|/pol/]]), abusive lovers and parents, scam artists and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be. Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum lulz, current Chris (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. For the amount of effort you need to put into piercing his layers of white knights and paranoia you may as well just spend it on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet jackass is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being a lazy fuckwad, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions -- and then later noticed by Chris out of the blue. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. So stop trying to force your shitty trolling plans down Chris's throat.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no-one on Earth is as [[naive]] as Chris circa 2007-2009. However, Chris himself actually has learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] or [[Vanessa Hudgens]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme paranoia, to the extent where he's even turned down attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at high school or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]]. Needless to say, he no longer responds to any random dork who contacts him, meaning that most trolling plans will fail to even get off the ground.

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame. By and large, trolling plans tend to be some minor variation on what was already done, like 'what if we got his [[high school ring]]?' or 'what if we got him to see another stock parody of his comic?'

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===
Most of Chris's content came from a time when he believed he had lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loved him. Constant epic weenery has made him think of himself as a victim who won't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he's wised up and become far more private, meaning a lack of content for us.

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet of their own. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current drought in content is because of a shortage of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content had Chris not given up on making videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake, to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm for content creation we'd be utterly spoiled.

Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster that not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top how he's trolling himself. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Trolling]]

Wasabi Clan

2014-08-22T23:57:06Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[Image:WasabiClan.png|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]], believing himself to have at least one Cherokee ancestor, has incorporated this heritage into the mythology of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics. Completely disregarding clans such as the [[Wikipedia:Meskwaki|Fox]] or even the [[Wikipedia:Apache|Apaches]], Chris established the '''Wasabi Clan''' as a rival tribe in the same area.

Wasabi is actually a spicy greenish paste, used as a condiment for Sushi and other elements of Japanese cooking. Considering that Chris is a weeaboo, it wouldn't be surprising if he heard it while at a sushi restaurant (he mentioned sushi as one of his favorite foods at one point){{cite}} and stole it for his own purposes.

==Fictional history==
[[File:Wasabi rival.jpg|thumb|The wasabi rival or the Pope, whatever.]]

According to ''[[Sonichu 2]]'', the Wasabi Clan were contemporaries of the Ancient Cherokee. One of the Wasabi somehow determined that stealing the Ancient [[Cherokian crown]] from their [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|leader]] would allow him to rule the world. This led to a bitter rivalry between the ambitious Wasabi man and the Cherokian Leader.

Despite their differences, the Cherokian Leader and his Wasabi Rival were eventually able to forge a temporary alliance against the greater menace of [[Count Graduon]]. Together, the Wasabi and Cherokee defeated Graduon, imprisoning him within a magic sceptre for centuries. Nevertheless, the Wasabi still coveted the Cherokian Crown, and their failure to obtain it would persist as a source of tribal shame for centuries to come, causing them to cry "trails of tears", because that's totally [[Wikipedia:Trail of tears|what the Trail of Tears was]].

By the 21st century, all remnants of Wasabi culture had disappeared. The Wasabi themselves may have been killed or assimilated, leaving their proud tradition of cartoonish supervillainy to be forgotten.

==Legacy==
The Wasabi Rival used a magical charm called a "Fireshock Pendant" to counter the powers of the Cherokian Leader and his queen. At some point, the pendant was placed within the Destiny Cave, to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].

In 2005, the prophecy came to pass, and the Fireshock Pendant was bestowed upon the Wasabi Rival's [[Wes Iseli|distant descendant]], who used the power to renew the Wasabi's feud with the reincarnation of the Cherokee Leader (i.e. Chris).

At first, Wes-Li Sonichu used his powers to avenge the Wasabi's failure to steal the Cherokian Crown, until [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and [[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] convinced him to help them defeat Count Graduon. Since then, Wes has abandoned all pretense of honoring the Wasabi, and appears to be using his powers for his own selfish interests.
{{-}}

==Behind the scenes==
Given the fire motif of Wes-Li Sonichu's powers, the name "Wasabi" was most likely Chris's idea of a clever reference to heat, since [[Wikipedia:wasabi|wasabi]] (a.k.a. Japanese horseradish) is a hot, spicy condiment (though given Chris's way of doing the research this could very well be a coincidence). The fact that ''wasabi'' is a Japanese word, coupled with the protologism "Cherokian," demonstrates Chris's utter ignorance of, and indifference to, Native American history and culture.

In point of fact, Chris knows very little of Wes Iseli beyond his romantic relationship with [[Sarah Hammer]] (his age in ''Sonichu'' #2 is listed as simply "??"). While Wes may indeed have some Native American ancestor, Chris arbitrarily assigns him one in the comic to make Wes a more suitable archnemesis.

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Plot Devices]]
[[Category:Villains]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-08-22T22:42:01Z

Singel Minory Comic: Cleaned up to remove some of the more frivolous or tortured complaints.

__NOTOC__
A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her dragon to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also have a tendency of becoming uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that unsurprisingly fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to his future sweetbolt like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* Giovanni's kid has ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team CWC describes him having. Combined with no trainers from the video games appearing, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and co., whose bodies are presumably decaying in a shallow grave outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris to be throwing a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha at [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and Sonichu to be helping with his electric attacks. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely 'existing' and saying "Hee Hee".
* No reason is given why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot. If they missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are, because due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; no such luck for Chris. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's 'father', his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant that tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting their shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what the hell kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open and guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat the everloving hell out of him. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by a half dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his Reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille as a matter of course, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not it clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], we are forced to confront the fact that Chris has no interest in doing any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command is making decisions about the city way above her paygrade.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes an obnoxious assumption that [[Women's rights|women always putout after the 3rd date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]] on his behalf.

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to help him.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his own father his own damn self. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Heck, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime are uploading unpleasant pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about the dickgirl pictures, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names. This doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who DigDugette416 could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantics comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's underpants while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an unelected clerical worker. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla despite their being surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has graced their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of pure, unquenchable evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifying, violent sadists]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!
* Chris poisons the water supply with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating ethnic cleansing against homosexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows a [[honor roll|basic ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water table for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris rapes his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with 'devil [[trolls]]'.
* Chris (by now you're probably realizing it's almost ALL Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris inserts his blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though currently stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris (and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|hedgehog boys]]) kill and injure hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into [[Mary Lee Walsh|another person's]] house, completely unprovoked, and paralyzes them.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and the gang (including a week-old girl) brutally murder four people in what can only be called a crime against humanity. But remember, it's a kid's comic!
* Chris disrespects a national holiday by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that they fuck in heternormatively-approved ways.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

Talk:List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-08-20T14:50:01Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Jesus Christ, this page ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. Anyway, I'll get to filling out the other sections later; right now I'm just trying to nitpick the less obvious failings of the comic. And thanks for the note about Patti-Chan's resurrection, [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]]. I never even thought of that one. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 17:59, 17 July 2014 (UTC)
* I added stuff on the Classic Sonichu Strips. Go ahead and flesh out those entries. I was thinking of trying to tackle the Sub-Episodes because they were empty, but man that's probably going to be the meatiest chunk of this article. [[User:Nate-Kar Sonichu|Nathan]] ([[User talk:Nate-Kar Sonichu|talk]]) 06:26, 18 August 2014 (UTC)

Filling the sub-episode section, today, and it's going to be a looooooong fucking list. Possibly more than episode 21. [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]]) 12:38, 18 August 2014 (UTC)

== Separating unheroic versus just plain dumb. ==
I intentionally called the page unheroic instead of questionable (my first choice) for a reason. Stuff like Sonichu and Rosechu having filthy BDSM sex or Chris acting like a dork on his lovequest is ''gross'' and ''stupid'', but it isn't exactly ''unheroic'', let alone ''evil''. Sonichu objectifying Rosechu or the two neglecting their kids while they have sex or Bubbles not being convinced that Blake is an impostor despite all of the warnings would be. I don't want to seem like I'm bigfooting you guys, but I feel that this page needs a cleanup so the page isn't bogged down by 'a real hero would get a better outfit'. And yes, I know I'm guilty of a couple of entries myself. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 14:50, 20 August 2014 (UTC)

User talk:Singel Minory Comic

2014-08-19T18:20:08Z

Singel Minory Comic:

== Re: Liking the comics in a way ==
Neato burrito! I'm not the only one that feels like that. I think the comics are amusing in their own way and sincerely wish he'd make more of them. [[User:Nate-Kar Sonichu|Nathan]] ([[User talk:Nate-Kar Sonichu|talk]]) 03:58, 19 August 2014 (UTC)
:I want to get a drawn commission from Chris-chan in much the same way I want an autograph from Ed Wood or Michael Bay or Frank Miller. Unfortunately, I refuse to give him so much as a red cent as long as his life's in the shitter. It'd only enable his unsustainable lifestyle. When Chris gets a job and moves away from his shithead of a mother then I'll gladly buy something from him. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 18:20, 19 August 2014 (UTC)

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-08-19T02:04:02Z

Singel Minory Comic:

__NOTOC__
A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], or even [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally depraved]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as being [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]], but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is not [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her dragon to slake Rosechu's lusts while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, only having known their partners for mere days or even hours beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also have a tendency of becoming uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|disturbing views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]] is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that unsurprisingly fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than make his presence known to start with.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. Par for the course in the video games, but rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* Giovanni's kid has ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team CWC describes him having. Combined with no trainers from the video games appearing, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and co., whose bodies are presumably decaying in a shallow grave outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]] is a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the life of others.
* No reason is given for Chris to be throwing a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha at [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and Sonichu to be helping with his electric attacks. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely 'existing' and saying "Hee Hee".
* No reason is given why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot. If they missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* After seemingly murdering an old woman for laughing, Chris and Sonichu high-five each other to celebrate their triumph.
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.
* After saving him from Walsh and the Jerkops, Sarah Hammer offers herself to Chris as a girlfriend simply because she pities him and his [[Love Quest]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply because the author says it happened.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; no such luck for Chris. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's '"father"', his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant that tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting their shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having way more superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... yet she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* As much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is: what the hell kind of dojo does Shinnabe run here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions Mewtwo pretty much stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open and guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat the everloving hell out of him. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by a half dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Besides being a device to boost Chris's already bloated [[Ego|ego]], this is the first issue to completely kick out its own [[Sonichu (character)|main character]] in favor of a [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|mary sue self-insert]].
* Chris loiters for almost this entire issue.
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creeper]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] or the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] has to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris is, again, loitering for [[Hanky panky|sex]], this time in a [[McDonald's]].
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Extended periods of [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] ranting after every 'fight'.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handi-capped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his Reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille as a matter of course, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not it clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], we are forced to confront the fact that Chris has no interest in doing any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command is making decisions about the city way above her paygrade.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most unqualifiedly nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's archnemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===
* While nothing evil or negligent directly occurs because of a nominal hero's action or inaction, Chris and/or Allison Amber are still responsible for letting this [[Jamsta Sonichu|dumbass DJ]] pollute the airwaves with his mindless blather.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot a breaking and entering scheme without even trying to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls.
* Wild's father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his own damn father himself. At this point in the comic, he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar to his own so has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Heck, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime are uploading unpleasant pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about the dickgirl pictures, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for pretty much every protagonist character to immediately trust someone who was only a few months ago working for two of the biggest criminals on the planet.
* Blake decides just to flat-out fuck without using the condoms he purchased because [[Silvana]]-Bubbles decides that they'd just get in the way. Either he didn't think that avoiding STDs/pregnancy is worth getting in the way of their Hanky-Panky (right after Sonichu implored the readers to practice safe sex in the previous issue) and/or he just [[monthly tugboat|likes flushing his money]] [[Chris and money|down the drain]].
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names. Gee, I wonder who DigDugette416 could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantics comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's underpants while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an unelected clerical worker. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla despite their being surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has graced their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of pure, unquenchable evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifying, violent sadists]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!
* Chris poisons the water supply with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating ethnic cleansing against homosexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows a [[honor roll|basic ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water table for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris rapes his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with 'devil [[Trolls|trolls]]'.
* Chris (by now you're probably realizing it's almost ALL Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris inserts his blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domain of Kel without so much as an examination, stating that his recent evil behavior was due to his transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. However, though currently stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys. Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris (and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|hedgehog boys]]) kill and injure hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face for accidentally referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into [[Mary Lee Walsh|another person's]] house, completely unprovoked, and paralyzes them.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is unfortunately an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but there's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Chris reassures the people of [[CWCville]] that he is still the unholy dictator (mayor, if you can call it that) for life.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and the gang (including a week old girl) brutally murder four people in what can only be called a crime against humanity. But remember, it's a kid's comic!
* Chris disrespects a national holiday by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that they fuck in heternormatively-approved ways.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

White knight

2014-08-19T01:27:26Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of himself tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marvelled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris only said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counselling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing. However, due to [[28 October 2011|his run-in with the law in 2011]], he was forced to seek professional help or face jail time.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref> However, after the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris was forced to seek psychiatric help or face jail time. While this may have helped him become more humane, [[Chris and his Ego|experience]] suggests that any impact will be minimal at best unless Chris cooperates.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). His racism, homophobia, and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited '''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would even go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On October 3rd and 4th 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a [[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]] Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan should never have been born. As if this wasn't enough insanity on it's own, Chris proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, and he, in return, would give back her confiscated superpowers. You just can't make this up.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |[[Christian Weston Chandler]]<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of [[28 October 2011|a mess that he caused]] is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that [[Megan Schroeder|anybody]]<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly attract new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris' upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods. Plenty of people have had abusive and/or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for bad things they do. They get therapy and move on. Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, while rationalizing his actions as being justified. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a normal, successful life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws unpublishable comics, stuffs his face with garbage, gets in trouble for the most trivial reasons, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him.

True to this statement, Chris has all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic [[Facebook]] posts. Despite this, quite a bit was still revealed about how well he is doing independent of the trolls' influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|recently alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). In that same letter, he even dismisses [[Rocky Shoemaker]] as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counsellor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He even describes his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many people have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homo statements]] on his Facebook page, even choosing to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

To make a long story short, Chris needs neither trolls nor the Internet to ruin his life. His [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] and lack of tact concerning people is doing a fine job of that on its own, and it's ''very'' unlikely that he'll realise that the root of his problems is not the trolls, the internet, or even God and [[Christopher's name change|the Bear]]. It's him.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using [[Facebook]] as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ''('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say.)'' [[Anna]] and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant ''(when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.)''

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Wal-Mart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an X-Box ONE display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most [[Anna McLerran|obvious example]], an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain]] [[Death Threats|details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedalled on this once he realised that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The [[TV Tropes]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his Ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==See Also==
*[[A-Logging|Alogging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Weens

2014-08-19T01:26:51Z

Singel Minory Comic: Adding the 8/18/2014 front page video.

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined, which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving ''fuck'' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video or two will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}} {{#ev:youtube|4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]]. Note that while not all weens are A-Logs and while not all A-Logs are weens, the vast majority of these dumbasses are both. The original A-Log was as much of a ween as an A-Log, what with his unfunny MST3K-wannabe videos.
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it, folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property, illegally recording telephone conversations, or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to say this, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming '''JULAAAAAY!!!''' is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

Why?

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Fanta|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of Internet scumbags. Neo-nazis (looking at you, [[4-cent_garbage.com|/pol/]]), abusive lovers and parents, scam artists and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be. Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum lulz, current Chris (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. For the amount of effort you need to put into piercing his layers of white knights and paranoia you may as well just spend it on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet jackass is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being a lazy fuckwad, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions -- and then later noticed by Chris out of the blue. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. So stop trying to force your shitty trolling plans down Chris's throat.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no-one on Earth is as [[naive]] as Chris circa 2007-2009. However, Chris himself actually has learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] or [[Vanessa Hudgens]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme paranoia, to the extent where he's even turned down attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at high school or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]]. Needless to say, he no longer responds to any random dork who contacts him, meaning that most trolling plans will fail to even get off the ground.

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame. By and large, trolling plans tend to be some minor variation on what was already done, like 'what if we got his [[high school ring]]?' or 'what if we got him to see another stock parody of his comic?'

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet of their own. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current drought in content is because of a shortage of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content were Chris still in the habit of making more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake, to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd be spoiled for content.

Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's currently going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Trolls]]

User talk:Boomhauer

2014-08-19T00:46:31Z

Singel Minory Comic: Recommendations for file uploads.

Having a little trouble uploading images, and couldn't find it anywhere in the Contents:Help or related sections.

Thanks ahead for any information on it.

== Chris and Science ==

Thinking about creating a new section on Chris's "views" of science, tying in [[Chris and reality|Chris and reality]] and [[Chris and religion|Chris and religion]]. If anyone's interested, please let me know, as I don't want to create a whole article if it's unnecessary. Thanks ahead for any feedback.

== File upload titling ==
I appreciate all of the new content, but I recommend that you use titles for the files that are more specific and don't run the risk of trampling on other filenames. So instead of 'Sonichu fanart' you could use 'Sonichu vs. Chaos Beast' or instead of 'but in the stone stage' you could use 'Back in the Stone Age Collage'. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 00:46, 19 August 2014 (UTC)

A-Logs

2014-08-18T02:43:37Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

{{quote|What Saddam did in the [[Father Call|Gulf War]] was potatoes to what [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has done.|A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[White knight|white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves, and therefore is looked down upon by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

It was notable that Chris had done quite a lot of horrible deeds in his life - be it [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|cursing his former potential sweetheart Megan Schroeder for trolling him]] (which of course, she obviously didn't) or [[28 October 2011|running over Michael Snyder with his car]]. This motivated the A-Loggers to ironically wish him death and curse him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "[https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Troll_Shielding trollshield]" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with romance, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of nearly 11 million civilians during World War II.<ref>[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/36qs.html 36 Questions & Answers About the Holocaust]</ref> For the most part, Chris is just a gullible idiot who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day were the result of his mother's influence, non-existent driving skills, and sheer blind panic rather than outright malevolence.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction. In addition to this, the charm of watching Chris is his eternal struggle against a nonexistent enemy. Committing actual violence would only legitimize Chris's victim complex.

====Chris's [[Chris and race|racism]] and [[Homos|homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication, though he shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> In short, Chris is ''not'' the Westboro Baptist Church- he is not involved in massive campaigns against homosexuals using inflammatory language or protests, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweetheart|sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Duck|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna [[wikipedia:Mass Transit incident (professional wrestling)|destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!]]|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|Mostly because I was hoping the video would end with him getting shot dead. by the [[Ruckersville]] [[Jerkops|police]]. You can imagine how disappointed I am to find him still alive and kicking when the video is over.|CKO92 on YouTube reacting over [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Chris's recent video]].}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account- comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]], and '''advocating genocide.'''}}

{{quote|Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? Hey, Chris? Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the [[medallion]] or shove it up your butt: make your choice. Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. |[[Bluespike]].}}

{{quote|Guess whose house burned down today. CHRIS-CHAN!|Bad Webcomics Wiki, gloating on their Facebook Page about [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Chris's house burning down]].}}

{{quote|HAHAHAHAHA|A response by the Bad Webcomics Wiki when a troll calls them out for the above.}}

{{quote|Sadly, yes.|Another post from the Bad Webcomics Wiki's Facebook Page, when told that Chris survived the fire.}}

==See Also==
*[[Weening]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/GeorgieBoyReturns YouTube: The A-Log Archive]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

Weens

2014-08-18T02:41:57Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined, which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving ''fuck'' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]]. Note that while not all weens are A-Logs and while not all A-Logs are weens, the vast majority of these dumbasses are both. The original A-Log was as much of a ween as an A-Log, what with his unfunny MST3K-wannabe videos.
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it, folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming '''JULAAAAAY!!!''' is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

Why?

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Fanta|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of Internet scumbags. Neo-nazis, abusive lovers and parents, scam artists and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be. Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum lulz, current Chris (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. For the amount of effort you need to put into piercing his layers of white knights and paranoia you may as well just spend it on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet jackass is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being a lazy fuckwad, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions -- and then later noticed by Chris out of the blue. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. So stop trying to force your shitty trolling plans down Chris's throat.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame. By and large, trolling plans tend to be some minor variation on what was already done, like 'what if we got his [[high school ring]]?' or 'what if we got him to see another stock parody of his comic?'

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet of their own. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current drought in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content were Christ still in the habit of making more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd be spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's currently going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Trolls]]

March 2014 Facebook Posts

2014-08-18T02:22:20Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[File:CWCvilleCoverPhoto.jpg|500px|thumb|center|Chris's cover photo of him in [[Lego]] [[Manchester High School]] which was uploaded on 25 March 2014.]]

The following are a series of posts posted by Chris on [[Facebook]] on [[March 2014]]. On this month, Chris posted two pictures about his Lego Manchester High School and posted two posts about the rumor of him shoplifting at Best Buy.

==Summary==
* 25 [[March 2014]] - Chris uploaded another picture of Lego Manchester High School and set it as his cover photo. He also submits another photo of the Lego Manchester High School to the ''Awesome Alliance'' competition page.
* 30 March 2014 - Chris posts about the rumor of him shoplifting.
* 31 March 2014 - Chris posts about the release of the footage of him shoplifting and posts a website that he claims that it is supposedly behind this.

==Posts by Chris==

===Rumour===
On 29 March, there was a thread on the [[CWCki Forums]] ([http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2014-03-05-chris-shoplifts-from-best-buy.3364/ link]) about him shoplifting at Best Buy on 5th of March:

{{quoteboxred|OK!

So, I have some friends in the [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] area. One of my friends works at a Best Buy as a [[Jerkop|security guard]]. He's very familiar with Chris, he's been seeing him for years, throwing [[Pokémon|pokeballs]] at [[Boyfriend-free girl|girls]] he liked. He also matched Chris to a recent description of [[Obesity|fatty]], so I'm pretty confident this was fatty.

Anyway, sometime around an early wednesday in March, 2014, Chris was in this Best Buy, very obviously grabbing stuff off the shelves and shoving it up his shirt. Like, a lot of stuff that he was aiming to steal. We were watching him on the security monitors and it was obvious as fuck, because, heh, y'know, Chris? Subtlety? Nawww...

But anyway, so, we sent our biggest, most intimidating security guy down there and he said something to Chris. Whatever he said, Chris pussied out, dropped everything he was trying to steal, and bolted out the door.

I don't really have anything concrete to back this up, but take it how you will. }}

Chris then responds to the thread a day later... on Facebook:

[[File:Chris-Chan by XantheStar.jpg|thumb|100px|''Now quit your damn obsession over me and take down the damn Cwcki and your Damn Forums and leave me and my close ones alone to live in peace!!!'']]

{{quotebox|
30 March 2014

To the damn [[Trolls]] in regards to the new rumor.

Look, the ONLY TIME I was there at all then was on the SIXTH OF MARCH. I purchased a copy of The [[Lego]] Movie Video game for [[PS3]]; they had the exclusive Pajama Emmet Minifigure; It and the Game were all paid for and registered. I put the mint in polybag minifigure into my Blue Jacket Pocket; it was in the Late Afternoon. The excitable [[Niggos|black]] woman who is probably a constant employee of the month there can and will validate my presence and purchase there at the time. I was NOT PURSUED BY ANYONE UPON MY DEPARTURE, ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLING-STUPID FREAKS!!! Now quit your damn obsession over me and take down the damn [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and your Damn Forums and leave me and my close ones alone to live in peace!!!}}

Needless to say, his friend [[Kim Wilson]] claimed that she saw him shoplifting:

{{quoteboxgreen|Remember Chris, I was there. Lying has never made your life better. But yeah '''[REDACTED]''', nah, Chris was caught stealing, I saw it.}}

When asked whether she accompanied Chris to Best Buy, Kim responded:

{{quoteboxgreen|Nah, I run into Chris around town sometimes.}}

===Exposé===

Another day passes by, and Chris posted another Facebook post about the release of the footage of him shoplifting. He then posted a link to the [[/cow/|site]] that's supposedly behind this:

{{quotebox|
31 March 2014

<nowiki>**Exposé**</nowiki> from a reliable source; Troll Plans for Further [[Chris and censorship|S***]] more crappy than a New York Garbage Dump:

According to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4 Chan]], they're going to drop the Best Buy security video sometime this week. Some people want to charge money for it, but they're in the minority. According to the Anon who originally posted about it on 4 Chan, they've also got footage of you giving men hand jobs behind the Best Buy dumpster. If that's in the video, then I'm pretty sure it's fake. Maybe they found someone who could be mistaken for you if the video quality were blurry enough.

This is why I don't have anything to do with these people. It's not the CWCki, BTW. They were just talking about it. This is being done by people on /cow/ - http://888chan.org./ These may be the same people who were kicked off the CWCki for trying to post trolling plans on the forum, which will get you perma-banned.

They've also been calling Best Buy to see if they can get you banned from the store. According to the post, a bunch of people have faxed over that picture you drew of [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|my sister]], and they've been making [[prank calls]] with the soundboards and sending video links and stuff.}}

==Facebook Shares and Likes==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Shares
! Link
! Date
|-
|Join the most AWESOME fight in the history of LEGO® mankind.
|http://theawesomealliance.lego.com/
|25 March 2014
|-
|This is awesome! Check out this mission photo from the awesome fight of The Awesome Alliance. The site is pretty awesome to. Feel free to join :)
|https://theawesomealliance.lego.com/image/5871
|28 March 2014
|-
|}

==The Awesome Alliance Share==
{{Protip|Stop commenting on his picture with godawful [[ween]] comments such as JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. You're not funny.}}
[[File:ChrisLegoHighSchoolAlliance.jpg|right|thumb|''Stay in School, make and KEEP ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS, and build from your education; that is how you really become awesome.'']]
{{quote|Stay in [[Manchester High School|School]], make and KEEP ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS, and build from your education; that is how you really become awesome.|Chris's info about the picture.}}
On 25 March, Chris posted his LEGO High School picture on the [https://theawesomealliance.lego.com/image/5871 '''''The Awesome Alliance''''' competition page]. It was later shared on Facebook three days later and as of now, the picture gained 3050 "awesomeness".
{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Ween

2014-08-18T02:19:37Z

Singel Minory Comic: Alias for Weening page.

#REDIRECT[[Weening]]

Weens

2014-07-30T21:23:15Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving '''fuck''' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]].
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming JULAAAAAY! is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with you life.

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Fanta|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of Internet scumbags. Cult leaders, corrupt politicians, scam artists, neo-nazis, and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris is. Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum lulz, current Chris (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. The amount of effort you need to pierce his layers of white knights and paranoia you may as well spend on some lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet scumbag is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being a lazy fuck at this point.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't intend to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. A very distant second is using as light of a hand as possible.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone thought was the ''real'' Chris.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current draught in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content if Chris made more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's current going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category:Trolls]]

Weens

2014-07-30T21:10:19Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving '''fuck''' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]].
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leaching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming JULAAAAAY! is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with you life.

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Fanta|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of Internet scumbags. Cult leaders, corrupt politicians, scam artists, neo-nazis, and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris is. Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum lulz, current Chris (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. The amount of effort you need to pierce his layers of white knights and paranoia you may as well spend on some lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit.

Really, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet scumbag is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being a lazy fuck at this point.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't intend to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. A very distant second is using as light of a hand as possible.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone thought was the ''real'' Chris.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current draught in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content if Chris made more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's current going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category:Trolls]]

Weens

2014-07-30T19:14:38Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving '''fuck''' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]].
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[contests]] or e-commerce.
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leaching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming JULAAAAAY! is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with you life.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't intend to become professional trolls. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. A very distant second is using as light of a hand as possible.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone thought was the ''real'' Chris.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current draught in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content if Chris made more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's current going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category:Trolls]]

Weens

2014-07-30T19:13:44Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving '''fuck''' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]].
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leaching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming JULAAAAAY! is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with you life.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't intend to become professional trolls. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. A very distant second is using as light of a hand as possible.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone thought was the ''real'' Chris.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current draught in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content if Chris made more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's current going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category:Trolls]]

Weens

2014-07-30T19:10:46Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are more-or-less [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving '''fuck''' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]].
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The [[Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leaching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming JULAAAAAY! is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with you life.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't intend to become professional trolls. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. A very distant second is using as light of a hand as possible.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone thought was the ''real'' Chris.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Even with trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

Even people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current draught in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content if Chris made more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's current going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category:Trolls]]

File:Epicweentrolling1.jpg

2014-07-30T19:08:39Z

Singel Minory Comic:

Created by Deviantart's NeverMonkey, located at [http://nevermonkey.deviantart.com/art/Epic-ween-trollan-275061703 this site]
[[Category:Anonymous]][[Category:Barbara Chandler]][[Category:Bob Chandler]][[Category:BlueSpike]][[Category:Clyde Cash]][[Category:Chris fan art]][[Category:Liquid Chris]][[Category:Pickles]]

File:Epicweentrolling1.jpg

2014-07-30T19:05:06Z

Singel Minory Comic: Created by Deviantart's NeverMonkey, located at [http://nevermonkey.deviantart.com/art/Epic-ween-trollan-275061703 this site]

Created by Deviantart's NeverMonkey, located at [http://nevermonkey.deviantart.com/art/Epic-ween-trollan-275061703 this site]

Weens

2014-07-30T19:04:38Z

Singel Minory Comic: Surprised that we've gone without this page for so long.

Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[White Knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. Which should tell you something. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win', weens are more-or-less [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the ''actual'' epic win of previous generations of trolls but thanks to their blundering and unoriginality end up making Chris of all people look like the master troll. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving '''fuck''' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's House. Double dumbass points if it's to scream JULAAAY! into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]].
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really.
* Terrible fanfiction that 'wittily' deconstructs [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] as a saccharine dystopia. [[Asperchu]] already did it folks, time to move on.
* Terrible fanart of Sonichu that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it ([[Sonees and Roseys|even more]]) grotesque, ([[Episode 21|even more]]) gory, or ([[Episode 17|even more]]) perverse.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[Ebay]] or [[YouTube]].
But most notably,
* Breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of lulz, such as vandalizing Chris's property or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to spell this out, but '''don't do this'''. For fuck's sake, people.

==Why you should avoid weening==
Yeah yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those tryhard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming JULAAAAAY! is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and blah blah blah. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time you should shitcan your trolling plans and move on with you life.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't intend to become professional trolls. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character, he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that metastasized from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere [[White Knight]] until she got fed up with his antics. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a You-Tube nobody who ended up being surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

Bottom line, the biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck. A very distant second is using as light of a hand as possible.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto Saga|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work. Or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone thought was the ''real'' Chris.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that A-Log would've never attracted the attention of the Internet if he either: A.) toned down the vitriol or B.) didn't comment on so many videos. It was a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slashfic and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed you may regret it later===
Even with trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting [[lulz]] from Chris-chan may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30 years old, people are still going to think of him as the crazed pervert who listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] masturbate for hours on end and made him cram a medallion up his ass.

Even people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris: Still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current draught in content is because of a dearth of trolling triggers, Late 2013-2014 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content if Chris made more videos. From Chris learning that his [[gal pal]]s were fake to him flushing down his [[Ebay]] and commission money on [[Lego]] to [[14_Branchland_Court#Destruction_of_the_Chandler_Household|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm we'd spoiled for content.

If Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster, not even the return of [[Clyde Cash]] could top what's current going on. So just sit back, relax, and [[Cwcki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it accidentally.

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category:Trolls]]

Magi-Chan

2014-07-28T01:21:11Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{quote|It seemed unlikely for a loong [sic] time. But Magi-Chan saw in a future a [[Silvana|long-haired black Rosechu]], who was born true of Venus on the Earth's Moon. Yet she would be cursed with a [[duck|protrusion]] that can be undone by eliminating the one who had placed the curse.|Chris describes Magi-Chan's yearning for [[homos|love]].}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SchuMagichan1.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Magi-Chan Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 2 February 1989 (in universe)
No later than 2 February 2004 (IRL)<ref>Chris created a [[:File:279-MagiCard.jpg|card of Magi-Chan]] on 2 February 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Magi-Chan was not created at any earlier date.</ref>
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7''
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Mewtwo
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Psychic
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Moon Stone)
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| N/A
|-
|}

'''Magi-Chan''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]]. He's the serious know-it-all and the only character not interested in finding a [[sweetheart]]. He's also one of the major sources of ''deus ex machina'' in the comic, and thus far the character most often depicted as just a floating head.

Magi-Chan is probably the only sympathetic character in the whole series, due to his sarcastic and often serious mood unintentionally making him seem intolerant of [[Sonichu]] and Chris's bullshit, and the homosexual undertones in his character. He also remains girlfriend-free the longest of all the characters, and only complains about it when Sonichu boasts that he's going to be fucking his girlfriend all night. Even then, when Magi-Chan does express interest in a woman, it's a woman with a penis...

He is also rather annoying to other readers, simply because he is clearly omnipotent, but refuses to use his powers for any reason other than to exposit and teleport characters to where they need to be in order to do a job he could, himself, do in a matter of moments. However, some readers find this to be his most redeeming characteristic, as he clearly only puts in the bare minimum of effort to satisfy Chris's [[autism|retarded]] whims.

According to Chris, "Magi-Chan" is intended to be a lame pun on "[[Wes Iseli|magician]]".<ref>[[DPF phonecall]]</ref>

==Overview==

[[File:ModNation MagiChan.jpg|thumb|Magi-Chan in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

Magi-Chan was, in earlier comics, perhaps the most useless in Chris's canon of useless characters, rivaled only by [[Lolisa Rosechu]]. Despite being essentially omnipotent, he does little more than enable everybody else to do something by filling them in on all the exposition and teleporting them where they need to go.

In recent comics, however, Magi-Chan has come in more handy as a sort of "right-hand man" to Chris, particularly in his fight against homosexuality. Chris has stated that Magi-Chan monitors all sexual activity in the city using his psychic powers, and later has Magi-Chan travel to the future in order to obtain a bulk batch of the cure for homosexuality. Magi-Chan would effectively contaminate the water supply of [[CWCville]] with Chris's blood in order to cleanse the world of its [[homos]].

He is a combination of three characters:
:*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
:*[[Pikachu]]
:*[[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]]

[[Image:SchuMagiSonee.jpg|100 px|thumb|left|Magi-Chan as a [[Sonee]].]]

==Major comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

Magi-Chan's egg lands in a secluded cave in the cliffs surrounding CWCville. Upon hatching, he is spoken to via telepathy by [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]], who trains Magi-Chan [[Sonee]] to use his psychic abilities until he evolves in meditation one day.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

Magi-Chan stands over CWCville, his all-knowing mind seeing the impending fight against [[Blake]]. He sighs, heads on over where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members and seems to set himself up as their leader within moments. Then they all beat up [[Blake]] to the point that his head is bleeding all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Magi-Chan and the other Chaotic Combo members are teleported into action by Chris.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]], Chris and Magi-Chan try to figure out how to free her.

[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] attacks and Chris orders Magi-Chan and Sonichu to investigate with him. Magi-Chan does practically nothing from there.

===[[Sonichu_7#Episode_15:_.22Time_for_a_Ball.22|Time for a Ball]] & [[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Time Hogs]]===

For no reason, Magi-Chan, along with Chris and Sonichu, begin the hunt for the [[Sonichu Balls]] at the [[Manchester High School]] Gymnasium. Magi-Chan gives some made-up theory about how the Sonichu Balls can be scattered throughout time. He then magically realizes that Chris came in contact with the ball back in [[1996]] and the three go back in time to retrieve it. On the way back Chris gets lost in a time void and Magi-Chan explains the he will return eventually.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_Prologue|Episode 18 Prologue]]===

Here we see the [[Chaotic Combo]] celebrating their 19th birthday on 2 February 2008.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

[[Image:MagiChanisGay.JPG|250 px|thumb|Precise and accurate]]

Magi-Chan explains to [[Bubbles]] that he has found a [[Sonichu Ball]] according to his psychic link, and tells her to go get it. He also tries to warn her of [[Silvana]]'s trap, but Bubbles doesn't believe him. Magi-chan later teleports Bubbles to Blake.

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Magi-chan pleads with Silvana to stop working with [[Count Graduon]] and insists that he can restore her "birth gender."
After his exchange with Silvana, Magi-Chan disappears from episode 20 almost entirely. He plays no significant role in the plot until the epilogue, where he shows up to provide a handy deus ex machina and randomly pull Chris out of the Time Void.

===[[Sonichu 10#Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities|Christian Chandler in Director Amenities]]===

Magi-Chan appears in the beginning of the story, having yanked Chris from the Time Void. He is charged with gathering the homosexual cure and bringing it to the present, which he does.

When Chris tries to apologize for his actions involving [[Alec Benson Leary]], Magi-Chan stops [[Evan]] and [[Simonchu]] from trying to kill [[Simonla]], but fails to stop Sean's attempt. He's obviously guilt ridden when Wild's motherless bastard child [[Sandy]] is born, telling her point blank that it was Evan who killed him. He is present at the [[Asperchu Four|Asperchu Four's]] trial, planting evidence to convict them. He is last seen at Alec's execution, electrocuting him.

==Outside of the comics==

Magi-Chan is one of the more popular characters with the trolls, due to his arguably homosexual tendencies. As such, he is mentioned in Chris's [[Mailbag]]s quite frequently. This has caused a few new facts about the character to surface, notably that [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|he is aware of any sex act]] that happens to occur within [[CWCville]] city limit and inform Chris if it doesn't fit his [[Homos|puritanical ideals]].

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|Magi-Chan is too cool to smile.
Image:Magichan scowling.jpg
Image:Magichan bubble.jpg
Image:281-MagiChan.jpg|THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE
Image:MagiChanFarts.JPG|Magi-chan hard at work.
Image:280-YuMagi.jpg
Image:Magichanmausterbate.jpg‎|[[Mailbag 31|Magi-Chan Sonichu is watching you masturbate.]]
Image:Magichanisintense.jpg‎|[[Audiobooks|Look at Magi-Chan. Seriously, just look at him.]]
</gallery>
</center>
{{CWCipedia|chris=Magi-Chan Sonichu}}

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:Plot Devices]]
[[Category:Sonichus]]

Punchy Sonichu

2014-07-28T01:18:25Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Punchy.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Punchy Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1989|2 February 1989]] (in universe)
No later than 17 August 2004 (IRL)<ref>Chris created a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Card]] of Punchy on 17 August 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Punchy was not created at any point later than this date.</ref>
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> (122 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Master Nabe (adoptive father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University ([[Dating Education]])<ref>See the events of [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]]</ref>
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Fighting
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Hard Stone)
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]
'''Punchy Sonichu''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]], formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is often considered to be a [[Chris and race|racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]] knockoff, right down to the crescent-shaped birthmark on his chest, dreadlocks and clawed punching gloves, which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of four characters:

*[[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonchan]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the almost complete lack of originality (more or less simply a headswap of Knuckles) and the ([[Chris and race|possibly unintentional]]) racism of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no one. This in contrast to [[Wild Sonichu]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]], more specifically 'Nabe's Dojo-Shin', where Master [[Excel Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky, and presumably to the [[The Moon|Moon]]. However, Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref>

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|Totarry not Asian.]]

While Punchy rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training, his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board which causes Punchy to hitch a ride by accident. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized tits. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. They all beat up Blake until his [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head is bleeding]] all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous bitches. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This excites Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]], whom he falls in love with. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest place in CWCville - [[McDonald's]].

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago. Worth noting that in Virginia, being sober (which Layla was, since she didn't have such a hangover) and having sex with someone who's drunk counts as rape.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

While Punchy was portrayed as a typical hapless shy suitor completely befuddled on how to approach the opposite sex (i.e. Chris-chan, Wild, Sonichu, etc.) Punchy deviates from the norm by being the only non-[[jerk]] male to make the first move in approaching a lady in the series once he sees an opening. By being willing to change himself and his methods, keeping his options open, remaining optimistic about his chances of seducing someone, being relaxed when talking to a potential partner of the opposite sex, and improvising when things didn't quite go his way the author ''once again'' inadvertently wrote a scathing indictment on the haplessness of his own [[Love Quest]].

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrely==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card, reverse
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|[[Pokémon|Poketto Monsuta]] card
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry [[Tomgirl Pictures|roves to wear]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|radies ringerie]].
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg|[[Prower]], Punchy's [[Transformer]]
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Lefelences==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Layla

2014-07-28T01:10:43Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[Image:Layla.jpg|thumb|right|Concept art of Layla, as drawn by [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:180Flaaffy.png|thumb|right|An actual Flaaffy. Let us know if you find anything even remotely similar between the two.]]
{{quote|Layla is sheepish; kind of shy, yet energetic, sweet and such|[[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[women's rights]] activist and incredibly lame punster}}
{{quote|Yo Layla! Punchy's in and he's checking you out, girl.
Come on, let's go hit the bed!|[[Chris]], singing about sheep/hedgehog sex}}

'''Layla Flaaffy''' is a character in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. She was first shown along with [[Ivy]], in a drawing of her that was leaked out on the Krapple Komputer Kompany [[/cwc/]] board. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] she is introduced as an eighteen-year-old [[Pokémon|Flaaffy]], who was thought up by Ivy on 15 [[2009#March|March 2009]].

When Ivy originally created the character, she was named "Luckette", but, according to Ivy, this was changed because Chris thought it was "too French." She called her Layla because "it sounded like a hooker's name," and rather than just being a sheep-thing, Chris insisted that she be a Flaaffy Pokémon.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

==Personality==

While nothing Chris makes is original or interesting, Layla seems to be the most stereotypical. Apparently, [[Women's rights|having women do all of cooking, cleaning and working]] gets old after awhile, as Chris designed Layla in a very [[Pedofork|jailbait]] manner. This is partly due to Ivy designing her to be sexually appealing to Chris-chan, so he would be more inclined to use her in his comics. The fact that she looks extremely underage is awfully telling. Her hobbies include showing cleavage, creepy innuendo, and, like, [[Julie|chatting with hot guys online]]. Layla is thus one of the most outright irritating characters, only slightly less aggravating than [[Magi-Chan]] or the [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonichu Babies]].

==Romance==
Implementing the world's oldest stereotype, Layla is lusted after by the [[Reginald Sneasel|series' biggest douchebag]] not named Chris. In an attempt to create some sort of conflict in the pages of making out, she falls for the azn, [[Punchy Sonichu]]. But of course, everyone ends up paired up and engages in soulless furry sex. Chris had planned a romantic first date for Layla and Reginald, involving unprotected sex in a [[McDonald's]] restroom.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

==Fetish==
In his song "[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]", Chris reveals Layla's fetish for [[Wikipedia:sadomasochism|sadomasochism]] in the final lines of the song. Because Chris has only given few details about this, his fans have been forced to interpret these lines as either references to sadomasochism or [[Women's rights|domestic violence]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ivy.png|Image of Ivy and Luckette, posted on 21 [[March 2009]] on Krapple Komputer Kompany [[/cwc/]] board.
Image:SchuComic10P7.jpg|Introduction of [[Layla]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].
Image:Camwhorelayla.JPG|Very intelligent, nuanced character.
Image:CamwhoreLaylacolor.jpg| Her mind is blank
Image:Laylablow.jpg|This is what Layla actually believes.
Image:Sadolaylandwhip.jpg|The truth about Layla
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

User:Singel Minory Comic

2014-07-25T03:51:09Z

Singel Minory Comic:

I have to be confess something: I'm an unironic fan of Chris's [[Sonichu_(comic)|infamous comic]]. Not completely unironic like what Chris would have in mind, but Sonichu speaks to me a level above and beyond just being a terrible and laughable comic. It's like getting your elementary school old niece's crayon depiction of Goku punching Hitler in the genitals as a birthday present; though it has no artistic merit and may in fact be awful, you still deep down like it. When I read this comic with all of its craziness like the Transformers popping out of nowhere to back-up their Pokemon friends in an epic fight, it's like watching 12-year old me putting pens and Crayola marker to computer paper after sitting through a Inuyasha/Cowboy Bebop/Teen Titans marathon. Yes, even the disgusting sex scenes are not unlike what I would've drawn back then. I wasn't even close to being that homophobic, though.

At any rate, I'm not actually interested too much in Christian Chandler himself. The videos are a little amusing, but I'm much more fascinated by his artwork. I only keep up with Chris's antics only insofar that it gives me further insight into the comic. So while stuff like Chris talking with Alec about the development of the comic or the Miyamoto Saga grabs my attention, silliness like JULAAAY! or the Tomgirl phase I more-or-less ignore.

User:Singel Minory Comic

2014-07-25T03:48:02Z

Singel Minory Comic: Creating my sad and pitiful user page.

I have to be confess something: I'm an unironic fan of Chris's [[Sonichu_(comic)|infamous comic]]. Not completely unironic like what Chris would have in mind, but Sonichu speaks to me a level above and beyond just being a terrible and laughable comic. It's like getting your elementary school old niece's 2 day crayon and pastel masterpiece as a birthday present; though it has no artistic merit and may in fact be terrible, I still deep down like it. When I read this comic with all of its craziness like the Transformers popping out of nowhere to back-up their Pokemon friends in an epic fight, it's like watching 12-year old me putting pens and Crayola marker to computer paper for the first time. Yes, even the disgusting sex scenes. I wasn't even close to being that homophobic, though.

I'm not actually interested too much in Christian Chandler himself. The videos are a little amusing, but I'm much more fascinated by his artwork. I only keep up with Chris's antics only insofar that it gives me further insight into the comic. So while stuff like Chris talking with Alec about the development of the comic or the Miyamoto Saga grabs my attention, silliness like JULAAAY! or the Tomgirl phase I more-or-less ignore.

S-Chu Ball

2014-07-25T03:28:59Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[Image:227-SchuBall.jpg|thumb|150px|An S-Chu Ball]]

An '''S-Chu Ball''' is a special type of Poké Ball used for the capture and storage of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric- or Hedgehog-type Pokémon]]. They receive very little mention in canon, as few of the Sonichus and Rosechus are ever stored in Balls. An S-Chu Ball appears in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and Chris claimed that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] can be stored in them in the plot for his ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode: ''"Then I break out my two S-Chu Balls, toss them and release Sonichu and Rosechu; more greetings."''<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22</ref> He also mentioned them in a phone call with [[Alec Benson Leary]].<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1]]</ref> He also claims to have drawn an S-Chu Ball on the back of the [[Sonichu Medallion]] - this is probably what the blue blob to the right of his signature is.<ref> http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation</ref>

As the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] act more like humans than [[Pokémon]], it's not surprising that S-Chu Balls don't feature in ''Sonichu''. Oddly, [[Blazebob Sonichu]] and [[Chloe Rosechu]] were kept in ordinary Poké Balls.

The S-Chu Balls are often confused with the [[Sonichu Balls]], which hold some relevance to the plot and have a completely different function and are colored differently (S-Chu Balls are yellow and light blue, Sonichu Balls have a solid color).

==Gallery==
<div align="center">
<gallery>
File:0658-ANIME513.JPG|Chris holding an [[S-Chu Ball]] while dressed as his [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|comic counterpart]].
File:Chrisangel02.png|On the medallion
File:Scb.PNG|On Comic Chris's DS
File:Comic CWC.PNG|Comic Chris holding an S-Chu Ball
File:Schub.jpg|[[Lego]] S-Chu Ball in Chris' Lego [[CWCville]]
File:226-SchuBall2.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh TCG]] card
File:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|On his GameCube skin
File:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|On the [[PSP]]
File:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA
File:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|GBA
</gallery>
</div>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Sonichu Balls]]
*[[Blazebob Sonichu]]
*[[Chloe Rosechu]]
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Plot Devices]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2014-07-25T03:27:46Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Comic CWC.PNG|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[Sonichu chronology#1982|1982]] (in universe)
24 March 2005 (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human (can transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]])
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Mayor of CWCville
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]
|-
|}

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]
'''Christian Weston Chandler''' is a character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Within the comic universe, [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work; he is the beloved mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as he does in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double-chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:CWC collage.jpg|thumb|left|Chris is a master of consistency.]]
Chris depicts himself as Mayor of his fictional town, [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, comic-Chris is popular, good-looking (well [[Chris and Art|he's supposed to be]]), and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]]) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Any characteristics comic-Chris possess stems from Chris's attempt to portray himself as the lovable loser type of character, known from any generic romantic comedy. He is portrayed as noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. But since Chris wants to score some cheap sympathy points, comic-Chris is also portrayed as having trouble with [[Love Quest|finding a girlfriend]] and is shown to have a limited ability to fight off his [[Manajerks|enemies]] and is regularly in need of help from his supportive friends in order to overcome his problems. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]].

He even has a job as Mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work]], which she takes with a smile.In other words, comic-Chris is who real Chris really wants to be, basically making him a self-insert Mary Sue character.

===Atrocities===

This does, however, have the unfortunate side effect of making comic-Chris ''even more'' murderous and psychotic than his real-life counterpart, primarily due to him (and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|superpowered goons]]) possessing the power to actually carry out his [[Death threats|threats]], in an artificial environment where he can kill and maim those who get in his way, and at the same time be completely in the right about it.

To elaborate- in the space of only 10 issues, he permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|someone]] [[Megatron Pistol|by]] [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting]] him in the legs after he'd surrendered, [[Sonichu #0|completely destroyed the life]] of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job and then callously mocking him by saying that [[Chris and his Ego|''he'd'']] suffered worse, sealed up and destroyed a populated building whilst ensuring no living thing escaped and later trying to blame it on the building's lackluster security, broke into [[Mary Lee Walsh|an old woman]]'s home and brutally attacked her to the extent of causing paralysis, directly ordered the murder of over one thousand five hundred people in the self-perpetrated destruction of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, carried out a Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexual]]s and asexuals, and arranged a [[Sonichu #10|show trial]] for [[Asperpedia Four|four men]] in an openly biased court, before personally executing them in brutal and inhumane ways, forcing [[Kel|chil]][[Sandy Rosechu|dren]] to partake and essentially commit first-degree murder in the process. Why? For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]].

It should also be noted that he does this all with a [[creepy stare|gleeful smile]] on his face, and with no [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] or justification for any of it whatsoever. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

===[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu'' #0 is one of the rare issues that is actually based primarily around the idea of Sonichu as the protagonist.

===[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]===

''Sonichu'' #1 is Chris's lowest-key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own [[Chris and art|drawing ability]].

===[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu'' #2 Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the embodiment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], an event which will dominate the rest of the series almost to the point of [[Sonichu]]'s redundancy.

===[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[jerkop]]s. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokémon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her début appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also introduces the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize later comics.

By the next episode, things starts to get confusing. Yes, Chris is Mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all of [[Virginia]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who would to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]===

''Sonichu'' #6 is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu'' #7]]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Sammy]] together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked Megan into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[Ghostbusters|"ghost command,"]] is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[The Oversized Drinking Straw|over-sized drinking straw]] picture, while [[Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu]] cheer HIM ON in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterward.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
Chris still can't help but put himself in the comic, even when he's said to be out of the scene, in issue #9. The first time he shows up is during [[Ivy]]'s "vision" portraying her being with Chris as told by [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]]. The second time is at the end of the comic. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the [[Time Void]] and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

===[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restraints the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish-fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood so they could use it for a vaccine. Chris, however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving a hundred people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by [[Naitsirhc]], but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

[[Meg Griffin]] suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really [[Silvana Rosechu]] in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed something comparative to genocide against them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]], which he does by breaking into Asperchu/Alec Benson Leary's house, fingerbanging his "[[Xbox|HEXBox Pavilion]]" to the breaking point and turning Asperchu and the rest of the comic cast into "improved" versions of themselves.

After this, Hobo-Chan fights [[Mary Lee Walsh]], leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a lifetime in CWCville's maximum-security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furor). After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.
===[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]===
Chris has yet to appear in the unfinished ''Sonichu'' #11.

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris_fan_art|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homos|homo]] side
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

Kel

2014-07-25T03:25:31Z

Singel Minory Comic:

{{Quote|Meanwhile, about a few miles from the city at a shore-side of a lake, there was a wooden cottage occupied with a lovely [[pokemon]] trainer. Her name was Kel, short for Kellie, with brown hair, [[Obesity|average figure]], 16 years of age and a very cheerful personality. At this time, she was studying up on what the qualifications were for participating in the Johto League and which strategies she and her pokemon would use.|From "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]"}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Kel.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Kellie Felix
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
|[[Sonichu chronology#1986|1986]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| [[Pokémon]] trainer
|}
'''Kellie "Kel" Felix'''<ref name="rosechu on cwcipedia">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]</ref>) is [[Rosechu]]'s original trainer. Kel was only seen in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and was briefly mentioned by Rosechu in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. If you have any information pertaining to her current status and location, please contact your local [[Jerkops|police department]].

It is believed that she is loosely based off Chris's IRL gal-pal [[Kellie Andes]]. This is furthered by the use of "Kellie" in "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" and the [[CWCipedia]].

Of note, she is the closest Chris has gotten to an original creation in the ''Sonichu'' canon. Although likely inspired by Kellie Andes, she does not resemble her physically or in personality.

==Backstory==
[[Image:KelHallOfFame.jpg|300px|left|Kel after finishing her quest and returning to CWCville.]]
According to the Rosechu biography page<ref name="rosechu on cwcipedia" /> on the [[CWCipedia]], Kel had gotten the Pichu who would become Rosechu from [[Cole Smithey|Professor Cole]] due to her being the last one there. This is a ripoff of the first meeting between Pokémon anime protagonist Ash Ketchum and his first Pokémon, Pikachu. Unlike Ash and Pikachu, Kel and Pichu hit it off quite nicely.

Her initial Pokémon catches include a Dratini, a Ponyta, a Lapras, a Chansey and a Geodude. It is said that the Pichu evolved into a Pikachu and she used a Thunderstone to evolve her into a Raichu. She was taking a break in her cottage on the day [[Sonichu 0|the Raichu became Rosechu]]. She tried to tell Professor Oak, but he suggested telling Cole, but he was on vacation.

When Rosechu met Sonichu, Kel took both of them to [[Cole Smithey|Professor Cole]] to examine them. After doing so, she also met Chris and battled him in a Pokémon Gym Battle, defeating him as well(!!). When Rosechu wanted to stay with Sonichu, Kel relented and allowed her to stay.

Kel would resume her travels, using a Manectric to replace Rosechu, but it is said that she still calls for Rosechu when need be. Her Pokémon Championship Hall of Fame picture<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:KelHallOfFame.jpg]</ref>, awarded at the as-of-yet-untold-of end of her quest, shows Rosechu instead of a Manectric.

==In the comic==
As stated in ''Sonichu'' #0, Kel is Rosechu's caring [[Pokémon]] trainer. Not much else about her is known.

Kel is one of the only trainers in the comic, the other being [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]], who no longer uses his Pokémon. She owns a Dragonite and briefly a (presumably female) Raichu until the [[rainbow]] turned it into [[Rosechu]]. Rosechu then maxed out Kel's credit cards and promptly ditched her to live with [[Sonichu]]. Chris has revealed that Kel released Rosechu to be with Sonichu, and that she is currently in "Trainer's College". In [[February 2010]], Chris wrote details about Kel's roster, revealing that she owned David (Dragonite), Ashley (Rapidash), Tiffany (Lapras), Lauren (Golem), Stephanie (Blissey).

It should be noted that after ''Sonichu'' #0, Kel was almost completely written out by Chris. This is made even more perplexing when one considers that Kel, actually having been the trainer of Rosechu while she was still a Raichu, was not given the chance to use Rosechu as her Pokémon. Chris, who had absolutely nothing to do with the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu in the comic canon, is considered Sonichu's "master" and occasionally called "father" by Sonichu.

After a prolonged nine issue absence, Kel reappears (not having taken the time to change clothes) in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as part of the three-person firing squad that executes Sean, along with [[Bill the Scientist]] and [[Allison Amber]]. Caring indeed.

===Kel and her men===

Besides Rosechu, Kel was also the owner of [[David the Dragonite|David]], a [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]]. She once tried to offer him to a sad [[Rosechu]] to fuck, but when the latter told Kel to fuck David herself, the Pokémon trainer enigmatically replied that "she can't say she didn't try". It's worth noting that David is described as "loyal" and being "[[Duck|too big]]" for Rosechu.

Chris on [[CWCipedia]] elaborated on the fate of Kel, including revealing a short lived romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]:<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc]</ref>

{{quote|Their first Villainous Encounter was the first Confrontation with Naitsirhc in [[Sonichu 0|Episode 3]]. Naitsirch was young; he was 14-Years Old on that Shopping Day August 8th, 1998. They fought numerously in and around Cwcville. Naitsirch was a healthy straight boy; after a few battles with Kel, Rosechu's Trainer, as an eye-witness sometimes, she started to fall in love with Naitsirhc. After Rosechu and Sonichu departed from Kel's cottage on June 8, 2000. They went their seperate ways. After a number of saving-the-city moments, I offered Sonichu his own house in the suburban area of [[Cwcville]]. The date of Completed Construction on the house they still live in today, was on May 27, 2000.

Kel moved on and continued with her Pok'emon Master Journey at age 14. She spent four years from the Journey she started on to Vigorously Train her Pokemon Team: Daisy (Dragonite), Ashley (Rapidash), Tiffany (Lapras), Lauren (Golem), Stephanie (Blissey) and after Rosechu left her party, she called Professor Oak for Larry (her Alakazam) at and around her cottage and Cwcville.}}

It should be noted that this was on the CWCipedia page for Sonichu since, as a [[Women's rights|woman]], Kel isn't important enough for her own article. Chris may have an article for his [[Son-Chu|fucking car]], but it was only after prolonged pestering that he even bothered with one for [[Rosechu]]...

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], it's revealed that Chris is attempting to restore [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] to [[Straight|normal]] through the [[Homos|Straight Vaccine]] because, apparently, Kel misses him. For those who do not read the CWCipedia, the statement that Naitsirhc and Kel were [[sweetheart]]s would seem completely out from left field. By making up a relationship on the spot, we see how the manchild attempts to evade responsibility for his [[Mailbag 19#That d*** Hitler|Hitleresque]] eugenics ideas, trying to make it sound as if Kel is their initiator. This also shows a bit of how Chris just can't get over women, since Reldnahc is just an [[homos|"evil"]] version of Chris, and Kel is just a "barely existent" version of [[Kellie Andes]], whom Chris was deeply infatuated with. Just like how Chris lives out his [[Lovely Weather|fantasies]] through [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]], so too does he use Reldnahc as a means for letting some version of himself be with one of the [[sweethearts|dozens of women who tolerated Chris]].

==See also:==
*[[Pokémon]]
*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]
*[[David the Dragonite]]
*[[Kellie Andes]]

==References==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-07-21T17:43:44Z

Singel Minory Comic:

__NOTOC__
A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], or even [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally depraved]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess don't just portray them as [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] but instead [[Solid Chris|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is not [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokemon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her dragon to ease Rosechu's lusts while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating Education|human children can date Pokemon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, only having known their partners for mere days or even hours beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also have a tendency of becoming uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries.
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Merried Seinor Comic|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-Cent_Garbage|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]] is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that nonetheless fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than make his presence known to start with.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. Par for the course in the video games, but rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* Giovanni's kid has ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team CWC describes him having. Combined with no trainers from the video games appearing, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and co., whose bodies are presumably decaying in a shallow grave outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of good?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply because the author says it happened.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; no such luck for Chris. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's 'father', his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant that tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting their shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having way more superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... yet she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* As much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee and Rosey]]s, Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is: what the hell kind of dojo does Shinnabe run here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions Mewtwo pretty much stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open and guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat the everloving hell out of him. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by a half dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* ''This section is devoted to everything that happens in the sub-episodes rather than having a section for each issue.''

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his Reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille as a matter of course, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not it clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy,those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], we are forced to confront the fact that Chris has no interest in doing any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command is making decisions about the city way above her paygrade.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most unqualifiedly nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's archnemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===
* While nothing evil or negligent directly occurs because of a nominal hero's action or inaction, Chris and/or Allison Amber are still responsible for letting this [[Jamsta Sonichu|dumbass DJ]] pollute the airwaves with his mindless blather.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot a breaking and entering scheme without even trying to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls.
* Wild's father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his father his own damn self. At this point in the comic, he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar to his own so has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Heck, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime are uploading nasty pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about the dickgirl pictures, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWC-ville]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for pretty much every protagonist character to immediately trust someone who was only a few months ago working for two of the biggest criminals on the planet.
* Blake decides just to flat-out fuck without using the condoms he purchased because [[Silvana]]-Bubbles decides that they'd just get in the way. Either he didn't think that avoiding STDs/pregnancy is worth getting in the way of their Hanky-Panky (right after Sonichu implored the readers to practice safe sex in the previous issue) and/or he just [[monthly tugboat|likes flushing his money down the drain]].
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names. Gee, I wonder who DigDugette416 could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantics comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's underpants while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an unelected clerical worker. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla despite their being surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has graced their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifying, violent sadists]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!!

==Sonichu Specials==
==[[Mailbag]]==
* One really needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are three problems with this: the first is that an interim mayor should have been appointed from their ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. This varies depending on the city's charter but is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the government is even more toothless than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left to Allison Amber again instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even a bottom class-ranking paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

Talk:Simonla Rosechu

2014-07-20T06:36:26Z

Singel Minory Comic: Questions about the idea that the death of Simonla caused Chris to lose interest in Sonichu.

Who the hell wrote that bit about Simonla being based on some anime character? They totally need to LURK MOAR. Anyways, this article needs the e-mail that Chris talked about developing Simonla (there's an e-mail correspondence with Evan, IIRC). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:37, 15 March 2009 (CET)

*Okay I admit it. That was me. I had read that somewhere. I'm so gosh durn lazy. I'm just like Chris.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]
**Oh, yeah, there were e-mails. I posted them proudly for all to see because he just told me "I reworked your character and put it in the new issue, it'll be out soon." Imagine my surprise to return to that thread after school and find Chris-chan did a little more than reworking. I will take screencaps of those e-mails and post them when it's not 2am [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 07:47, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
***Wait, shit, I actually have a lot more e-mails with him responding to me than I had initially remembered. Huh. I'll try and find a place for those too. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 07:50, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
****On further notice, it seems the first e-mail he replied to about Simonla is gone. Why the fuck would I delete that. I do have some further correspondence with me asking why the fuck he did that shit and instead just telling me that the Livejournal account made in his name was a fake, saying "Why would I call Anne Boleyn deaf?" and ignoring the more pressing matters of "WHY IS SIMONCHU A GIRL NOW". I also have e-mails where he explains why the Blake rape scene was removed. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 07:54, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
*****I'm curious as to why the hell Simonla was decided as the feminine of Simon? Was Simone or Simona too HIGH LEVEL a concept of that guy? The whole idea of Christian actually (mis)appropriating the character into his comics is hilarious though. Condolences on your future grandson REGINALD, however. [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 09:05, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
******Oh god, you just made me realize that in CWCville I would be considered Simonla's father. GO SIMONLA! GO FORTH AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, SEE THE INVISIBLE! 01:33, 28 April 2009 (CEST)
*******Simonla Rosechu yelling "I AM SIMONLA, LEADER OF THE SONICHURREN GANG! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"... DOTH NOT WANTETH. DDDX -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da Nuke]] 06:57, 13 May 2009 (CEST)

==(More) To do==
Clean up the articles as there's more pictures than there is to text (in other words, get a gallery going), and also incorporate shit from the new CWCipedia articles. Looks like Chris is acknowledging Evan's threats of suing Chris over Simonchu/Simonla. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:23, 9 September 2009 (CEST)
*Thanks for cleaning this up, I've been meaning to do it myself but I'm a lazy fuck who wants to play Street Fighter all day. I need to tidy up my own page too because it's a fucking sloppy wall of text as it stands [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 04:35, 10 September 2009 (CEST)

==Where's Simonchu?==
Episode 20 is over. Simonchu is kinda... not there. Wonder what would happen if Chris was called out on it? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:15, 23 December 2009 (CET)
* If I had my guess, he'll probably brush it off and say that there was some sort of agreement not to put him in at the last minute or something. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 03:59, 23 December 2009 (CET)

==Quick to Replace==
[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/src/126650667058.png I am not surprised. I am not surprised at the least] --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:18, 18 February 2010 (UTC)

== Exploding Toilet Stolen? ==

*Was Simonla's death inspired by the Lethal Weapon movies or ripped out from one of them? I think the 1st one has the exploding toilet or the 2nd one. I saw a scene when I was younger though.--[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 05:48, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
**I'm not sure if Chis stole it from them, but it's in lethal weapon 3, yeah.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 07:20, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
***actually it was from lethal weapon 2. it being lifted directly from the film is supported by the position of the voltorb, directly behind the toilet. Presumably when one (especially a child) thinks of a toilet bomb they think of a cherry bomb inside the bowl, but in lethal weapon 2 its on the floor behind it.[[User:Crunchler|Crunchler]] 21:09, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****I think he got the idea from a simpsons episode in which homer references lethal weapon, i doubt chris saw any of the lethal weapon movies.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****In the simpsons ep homer says "before lethal weapon 2 i never thought there could be a bomb IN my toilet, now i check every time." if he had only seen it on the simpsons he would have put it in the toilet, not behind it.[[User:Crunchler|Crunchler]] 05:38, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
******Here's the video to the scene in question. And Crunchler is right, it did come from the 2nd film in the series: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3vgcB1jJn4 The Exploding Toilet scene (At the 7:37 mark) ] --[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 03:14, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*******I also added the info on the "Death" section.--[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 21:45, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*I doubt he's ever seen the film itself, just knows of the scene. Like how many people know of the music in 2001 or the monoliths in it without every seeing the film. Plus, I doubt Chris would understand or like the film, it being pro Niggo and all.[[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:57, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

== An Egg ==
Issue 10, page 79, An Egg, looks like there will be more simonchu shennanigans, with sandy, "Evan Killed mommy" Magi-chan is badass once more . also simonchu is a terrorist aparently--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 07:04, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*See "quick to replace" above. Of course, it was a contrived little bit of info to try and exploit a loophole in Evan's WrathTM, but it really might just piss him off and get the site DMCAed again. -- [[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 07:23, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

== I noticed similarities between Simonichu and some other character. ==

Doesn't look much like Simon from Tengen-thingy to me, rather a lot more like Megalon from ''Godzilla vs Megalon.''

http://ftp.sunet.se/pub/pictures/tv.film/Godzilla/megalon.jpg compared to http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Simonchu_by_Evang_y.png

Is this even noteworthy or am I just trying too hard? (though I see where the guy gets this Beedrill from.) Debate. [[User:No.|No.]] 06:13, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Oh forget it. [[User:No.|No.]] 14:38, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-20 22:40:01, 404 Not Found
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-28 10:05:53, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:05, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Dead link 2 ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-20 22:40:01, 403 Forbidden
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-28 10:06:02, 403 Forbidden

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:05, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

==Simonla the Linchpin Section==
Is this based on anything or is it supposed to be highly speculative? I'm not saying that it should go away or anything, I'm just wondering if there are any smoking guns or at least circumstantial evidence to support this view. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 06:36, 20 July 2014 (UTC)

Chaotic Combo

2014-07-20T05:28:44Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[File:CC.PNG|thumb|right|200px|That's right, he's given them a logo. You know, in case he gets a call asking for a merchandising deal.]]
[[File:Sonicu Guys by TokiKoKawaii.jpg|thumb|The chaotic combo are STRAIGHT!]]
The '''Chaotic Combo''' is a team of Sonichu recolors with varying amounts of personality (ranging from one-dimensional to slightly more than one-dimensional) and screen-time. The Chaotic Combo first appeared in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_10 Page 10]</ref>. The name was ripped off from Chaotix, a gang of five detectives first appearing in the game ''[[Wikipedia:Knuckles' Chaotix|Knuckles' Chaotix]]''.

==Backstory==

The Chaotic Combo were created at the same moment [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were made. When the [[Rainbow|Chaotic Rainbow]] flew out of Sonic and Pikachu and hit the female Raichu, some eggs flew out of the rainbow for no clear reason and landed in a variety of locations (in [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|the past]], so Chris won't feel like such a [[pedofork|paedophile]] for drawing porn of them). These hatched into <s>adorable</s> fucking annoying [[Sonee#Sonee_.26_Rosey|Sonee]]s and [[Sonee#Sonee_.26_Rosey|Rosey]]s that were then raised by nearby Pokémon.

==Members==
<table cellpadding="7">

<tr><td>
[[Image:wild-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>
===[[Wild Sonichu]]===
Wild was raised by a [[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]] and a [[Wikipedia:Venusaur|Venusaur]]. The Scyther, his father, and the Venusaur, his mother, taught him the skills necessary to survive in the jungle. He can swing through jungles and turn invisible. He attacks with razor leaves and vine whips. He is a confident, outgoing and courageous character, although he still has trouble talking to girls because otherwise Chris couldn't relate to him. He then gets in a forced relationship with a [[Simonla Rosechu|stolen character]] and [[Sandy Rosechu|spawns]] with her.
 
'' "Green electric/grass hedgehog Pokemon. 2nd in command of the Chaotic Combo. He was raised by a Venusaur, and has a perfect Razor Leaf attack (with a dash of lightning)."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:bubbles-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Bubbles Rosechu]]===
Bubbles was raised by a female [[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]. She has no personality whatsoever, other than being a total whore and being shown to get her rocks off by being electrocuted or hit with "Psychic Needles". Her powers include control over water and the ability to bitch slap her enemies. Farts around with [[Blake]]. Apparently, she can create tidal waves, which are normally caused by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, or meteorite impact, but either way, kill thousands of people. Bubbles is Water/Electric.
 
''"Blue electric/water hedgehog Pokemon. Optimistic and full of energy, when she feels happy, she will tell everyone. She was raised by a mother Swampert who taught her how to create tidal waves."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:punchy-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Punchy Sonichu]]===
How Chris views all [[Chris and race|Asian people]].
Slanty-eyed self-proclaimed "strike ninja" who had his tail ripped off in a matter of seconds by [[Mypoe]] seconds after crash landing into [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#G.D.W._Shinabe|G.D.W. Shinabe]]'s dojo. Having his tail promptly removed, this somehow caused the [[Sonee#Sonee_.26_Rosey|Sonee]] to evolve into Punchy, which made him a martial arts expert. Punchy then used a sky uppercut to launch Mypoe into the stratosphere. For some reason, her dad didn't give a shit. Supposedly, Punchy is full of "[[Random-access humor|Random Access Humor]]", except he doesn't really show up in the comic a lot, and when he does, he isn't funny. Punchy attacks with punches; gee, who would've thought? Punchy is Fighting/Electric, another type combo that doesn't exist in the actual game.
 
''"Red electric/fighting hedgehog Pokemon. Punchy is very strong and full of random weird humor. He lost his tail in a fight. He was raised in a dojo in Japan."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:angelica-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Angelica|Angelica Rosechu]]===
Raised by nuns. Uses her magic powers to grow flowers with such messages as "HOPE" and "PEACE & LOVE". Only has slightly more personality than Bubbles. Uses words like "pray" and "Lord" randomly to show that she is religious or something, although this doesn't stop her from being a promiscuous hoebag and apparently [[mass debating]] in church. Angelica doesn't fight very often but she apparently she can use ''wing attacks'' and ''whirlwinds'' or some shit. Angelica is Flying/Electric, and as such, has Angel Wings.
 
''"White electric/flying hedgehog Pokemon. She usually remains peaceful and calm, and she prays every night. Angelica was raised in a church by some nuns."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:magichan-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Magi-Chan]]===
Probably the most interesting of the bunch, Magi-chan is a supposedly very intelligent Sonichu recolor who has psychic powers and can travel through [[Time Void|time]] and stuff. Indeed, Magi-chan's amazing powers are so powerful and amazing that he can instantly fix all of the plot holes by powers of mind alone! This has given him the nickname of '''Deus ex machina chu'''. Raised by [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]], who communicated with him telepathically after he hatched. Known for being very, very gay. The only member of the Chaotic Combo, and probably one of the few Sonichus altogether, that bothers wearing clothing, even if it's just a vest. Magi-chan is Psychic/Electric, a ''third'' combination that doesn't exist in the game. Wow, he came up with three original Pokémon type mixes. What a superstar.
 
''"Purple electric/psychic hedgehog Pokemon. He has telekinetic powers, and he can bend anything with his mind."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>
</table>

==Notable Character Relationships==
===Sonichu and the rest of the Chaotic Combo===
Sonichu has a quite close working relationship and friendship with the rest of the Combo, almost to the point where he's a sixth member. He's seen more often with a member of the Combo than they are as a full team by themselves. Not to mention that Sonichu has no problem hanging out with [[Rosechu]] and her [[Gal-pals]]. Moreover, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|his children]] are said to play with [[Sandy Rosechu|Wild's own groinspawn]]. Since he's the only one besides [[Bubbles]] who has any aptitude with electric attacks and he also has the ear of the mayor, it's quite a symbiotic relationship. Not unlike that of a cleaner shrimp and a moray eel.

===Blake and the rest of the Chaotic Combo===
While shown to be individually more powerful than any of the other members, he turns into a simpering bitch after [[media:Chris-Dog-Pile.jpg|getting gangbanged]] by Sonichu and the rest of the Combo and developing a crush on Bubbles. His status in the rest of the clique rose considerably after attending a few birthday parties and becoming Bubbles' gelding. Ironically, Blake was able to get [[Sonichu 10|far more evil done]] as a confident of the Chaotic Comic than he ever did working for Giovanni and Robotnik.

===Magi-chan and the rest of the Chaotic Combo===
The other members of the Chaotic Combo seem to freely use Magi-chan for teleportation services and information about the latest plot device of the week while doing little to return the favor. Strangely, Magi-chan doesn't seem to resent this frequent badgering for assistance. In his first meet-up with the others in [[Episode 11]] he's actually a bit peevish when people take their sweet time to ask him for his psychic taxi services. This stoic commitment to duty is, to no one's surprise, waived when it's Chris-chan doing the asking.

===Angelica, Bubbles, and Rosechu===
Like Sonichu, Rosechu is frequently seen hanging out with the other two female members of the Chaotic Combo. Unfortunately, as she's but a mere [[women's rights|female character in ''Sonichu'']] she's only seen interacting with them in warm scenes of domesticity. Stuff like shopping at the mall, hanging out at the beach, or stripping to protest dickgirl pictures.

===Wild and Punchy===
Strangely, Wild and Punchy is the only [[JERKS|male-male]] relationship depicted positively in Sonichu. They're the two members most likely to be seen together, making small talk, or taking classes. [[Homos|Ahem]].

===Punchy and Angelica===
Punchy initially develops a crush on Angelica after she attends to him after getting pwned by Blake's hoverboard. This infatuation only lasts until he starts IM-ing [[Layla Flaafy]], whereupon he immediately forgets his years-long feelings for Angelica.

==References==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Chaotic Combo

2014-07-20T05:27:08Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[File:CC.PNG|thumb|right|200px|That's right, he's given them a logo. You know, in case he gets a call asking for a merchandising deal.]]
[[File:Sonicu Guys by TokiKoKawaii.jpg|thumb|The chaotic combo are STRAIGHT!]]
The '''Chaotic Combo''' is a team of Sonichu recolors with varying amounts of personality (ranging from one-dimensional to slightly more than one-dimensional) and screen-time. The Chaotic Combo first appeared in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_10 Page 10]</ref>. The name was ripped off from Chaotix, a gang of five detectives first appearing in the game ''[[Wikipedia:Knuckles' Chaotix|Knuckles' Chaotix]]''.

==Backstory==

The Chaotic Combo were created at the same moment [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were made. When the [[Rainbow|Chaotic Rainbow]] flew out of Sonic and Pikachu and hit the female Raichu, some eggs flew out of the rainbow for no clear reason and landed in a variety of locations (in [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|the past]], so Chris won't feel like such a [[pedofork|paedophile]] for drawing porn of them). These hatched into <s>adorable</s> fucking annoying [[Sonee#Sonee_.26_Rosey|Sonee]]s and [[Sonee#Sonee_.26_Rosey|Rosey]]s that were then raised by nearby Pokémon.

==Members==
<table cellpadding="7">

<tr><td>
[[Image:wild-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>
===[[Wild Sonichu]]===
Wild was raised by a [[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]] and a [[Wikipedia:Venusaur|Venusaur]]. The Scyther, his father, and the Venusaur, his mother, taught him the skills necessary to survive in the jungle. He can swing through jungles and turn invisible. He attacks with razor leaves and vine whips. He is a confident, outgoing and courageous character, although he still has trouble talking to girls because otherwise Chris couldn't relate to him. He then gets in a forced relationship with a [[Simonla Rosechu|stolen character]] and [[Sandy Rosechu|spawns]] with her.
 
'' "Green electric/grass hedgehog Pokemon. 2nd in command of the Chaotic Combo. He was raised by a Venusaur, and has a perfect Razor Leaf attack (with a dash of lightning)."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:bubbles-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Bubbles Rosechu]]===
Bubbles was raised by a female [[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]. She has no personality whatsoever, other than being a total whore and being shown to get her rocks off by being electrocuted or hit with "Psychic Needles". Her powers include control over water and the ability to bitch slap her enemies. Farts around with [[Blake]]. Apparently, she can create tidal waves, which are normally caused by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, or meteorite impact, but either way, kill thousands of people. Bubbles is Water/Electric.
 
''"Blue electric/water hedgehog Pokemon. Optimistic and full of energy, when she feels happy, she will tell everyone. She was raised by a mother Swampert who taught her how to create tidal waves."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:punchy-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Punchy Sonichu]]===
How Chris views all [[Chris and race|Asian people]].
Slanty-eyed self-proclaimed "strike ninja" who had his tail ripped off in a matter of seconds by [[Mypoe]] seconds after crash landing into [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#G.D.W._Shinabe|G.D.W. Shinabe]]'s dojo. Having his tail promptly removed, this somehow caused the [[Sonee#Sonee_.26_Rosey|Sonee]] to evolve into Punchy, which made him a martial arts expert. Punchy then used a sky uppercut to launch Mypoe into the stratosphere. For some reason, her dad didn't give a shit. Supposedly, Punchy is full of "[[Random-access humor|Random Access Humor]]", except he doesn't really show up in the comic a lot, and when he does, he isn't funny. Punchy attacks with punches; gee, who would've thought? Punchy is Fighting/Electric, another type combo that doesn't exist in the actual game.
 
''"Red electric/fighting hedgehog Pokemon. Punchy is very strong and full of random weird humor. He lost his tail in a fight. He was raised in a dojo in Japan."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:angelica-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Angelica|Angelica Rosechu]]===
Raised by nuns. Uses her magic powers to grow flowers with such messages as "HOPE" and "PEACE & LOVE". Only has slightly more personality than Bubbles. Uses words like "pray" and "Lord" randomly to show that she is religious or something, although this doesn't stop her from being a promiscuous hoebag and apparently [[mass debating]] in church. Angelica doesn't fight very often but she apparently she can use ''wing attacks'' and ''whirlwinds'' or some shit. Angelica is Flying/Electric, and as such, has Angel Wings.
 
''"White electric/flying hedgehog Pokemon. She usually remains peaceful and calm, and she prays every night. Angelica was raised in a church by some nuns."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>

<tr><td>
[[Image:magichan-icon.jpg|right]]
</td>
<td>

===[[Magi-Chan]]===
Probably the most interesting of the bunch, Magi-chan is a supposedly very intelligent Sonichu recolor who has psychic powers and can travel through [[Time Void|time]] and stuff. Indeed, Magi-chan's amazing powers are so powerful and amazing that he can instantly fix all of the plot holes by powers of mind alone! This has given him the nickname of '''Deus ex machina chu'''. Raised by [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]], who communicated with him telepathically after he hatched. Known for being very, very gay. The only member of the Chaotic Combo, and probably one of the few Sonichus altogether, that bothers wearing clothing, even if it's just a vest. Magi-chan is Psychic/Electric, a ''third'' combination that doesn't exist in the game. Wow, he came up with three original Pokémon type mixes. What a superstar.
 
''"Purple electric/psychic hedgehog Pokemon. He has telekinetic powers, and he can bend anything with his mind."'' <ref>''Sonichu's News Dash'' #2, http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm</ref>
</td></tr>
</table>

==Notable Character Relationships==
===Sonichu and the rest of the Chaotic Combo===
Sonichu has a quite close working relationship and friendship with the rest of the Combo, almost to the point where he's a sixth member. He's seen more often with a member of the Combo than they are as a full team by themselves. Not to mention that Sonichu has no problem hanging out with [[Rosechu]] and her [[Gal-pals]]. Moreover, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|his children]] are said to play with [[Sandy Rosechu|Wild's own groinspawn]]. Since he's the only one besides [[Bubbles]] who has any aptitude with electric attacks and he also has the ear of the mayor, it's quite a symbiotic relationship. Not unlike that of a cleaner shrimp and a moray eel.

===Blake and the rest of the Chaotic Combo===
While shown to be individually more powerful than any of the other members, he turns into a simpering bitch after [[media:Chris-Dog-Pile.jpg|getting gangbanged]] by Sonichu and the rest of the Combo and developing a crush on Bubbles. His status in the rest of the clique rose considerably after attending a few birthday parties and becoming Bubbles' gelding. Ironically, Blake was able to get [[Sonichu 10|far more evil done]] as a confident of the Chaotic Comic than he ever did working for Giovanni and Robotnik.

===Magi-chan and the rest of the Chaotic Combo===
The other members of the Chaotic Combo seem to freely use Magi-chan for teleportation services and information about the latest plot device of the week while doing little to return the favor. Strangely, Magi-chan doesn't seem to resent this frequent badgering for assistance. In his first meet-up with the others in [[Episode 11]] he's actually a bit peevish when people take their sweet time to ask him for his psychic taxi services. This stoic commitment to duty is, to no one's surprise, waived when it's Chris-chan doing the asking.

===Angelica, Bubbles, and Rosechu===
Like Sonichu, Rosechu is frequently seen hanging out with the other two female members of the Chaotic Combo. Unfortunately, as she' buts a mere [[women's rights|female character in ''Sonichu'']] she's only seen interacting with them in warm scenes of domesticity. You know, shit like as shopping at the mall, hanging out at the beach, or stripping to protest dickgirl pictures.

===Wild and Punchy===
Strangely, Wild and Punchy is the only [[JERKS|male-male]] relationship depicted positively in Sonichu. They're the two members most likely to be seen together, making small talk, or taking classes. [[Homos|Ahem]].

===Punchy and Angelica===
Punchy initially develops a crush on Angelica after she attends to him after getting pwned by Blake's hoverboard. This infatuation only lasts until he starts IM-ing [[Layla Flaafy]], whereupon he immediately forgets his years-long feelings for Angelica.

==References==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers

2014-07-17T23:32:15Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] menagerie of [[Pokémon|idiotic magical animal pals]] and the equally idiotic humans who boss them around.
[[Category:Characters]][[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]][[Category:Video Games]]

Reginald Sneasel

2014-07-17T23:27:21Z

Singel Minory Comic:

[[Image:CWCsSneasel.jpg|thumb|Reginald Sneasel.]]
[[Image:215Sneasel.png|thumb|An actual Sneasel.]]

'''Reginald''' is a [[Pokémon|Sneasel]] who wears a headband (similar to the one worn by [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]] of the [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']] series) and [[homos|cutoff jeans]]. He only barely resembles a Sneasel, as his [[Chris and art|coloring and body shape are completely off]], but at least he looks vaguely similar to what he was allegedly ripped off from (unlike [[Layla|Layla Flaaffy]], who isn't even close). He is not only an excuse for Chris to remove [[Punchy Sonichu]] from being paired up with [[Angelica]], but he's also an excuse to draw himself back into the comic while stuck in the [[Time Void]]: look carefully at [[Heterochromia|the color of those eyes]]. His inclusion is highly confusing as he is introduced shortly after [[Simonla]] announces she wants to name her hypothetical son "Reginald".

== In the comic ==
Reginald is a Sneasel who makes his first [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] appearance in [[Sonichu_9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|episode 19]]. Reginald is in love with [[Layla]] and tries to steal her from [[Punchy]] with a [[lie|cunning plan]]. Unfortunately, Layla and Punchy still manage to hook up despite Reginald cutting the keyboard cord on the computer.

While Reginald is feeling sorry for himself outside, he is approached by [[Angelica]], who flirts with him and almost immediately asks him out. In [[Episode 20]], he is seen in bed with Angelica, proving that even after being raised by nuns, she, like all of the other [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]], is a total slut. Unlike the other Rosechus, however, she will die for her sins. [[Chris and religion|She's Christian, after all.]]

In the first draft of [[Episode 19]], Reginald is shown to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|28 years old]]. In the final version of the comic though, Chris de-ages him by ten years, thus making Reginald 18, the same age as [[Layla Flaaffy]]. Chris most likely made this change so Reginald wouldn't seem like such an obvious avatar for him. However, it's also likely that this was done so Reginald (and by extension Chris) wouldn't look like a [[pedofork]].

== As a Mary Sue==
While Chris is stuck in the [[Time Void]], Reginald is essentially the replacement Chris. Sad, pathetic, lonely, (but not in his late twenties) Reginald attempts to sabotage Punchy's burgeoning relationship with [[Layla]] out of jealousy. Like Chris, he fails. Unlike Chris, however, Reginald somehow manages to find a [[Angelica|boyfriend-free girl]] willing to look past the layers of self-loathing to his shallow, childish core. Of note is that Angelica finds Reginald "[[honest]]" and "sweet", and that ''she'' approached ''him''. Also note, his entire existence up to that point involved him obsessing over another girl, spreading false rumors about his desired paramour to try and dissuade his rival, and actively trying to sabotage his rival's attempts.

Angelica and Reginald's pairing is essentially how Chris would like his first relationship to start. Chris wants a girl to be attracted to his honesty and [[Attraction Sign|approach him]] so that he doesn't have to do any of the legwork on his own.

Chris also seems to have some peculiar attachment to the name "Reginald." Aside from Sneasel, it's the given name of Chris's imaginary future son, as well as that of the imaginary future son of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. [[Common Questions#15 January 2010|When asked about this]], Chris explains that a woman (most likely [[PandaHalo]]) suggested the name for the previously-mentioned imaginary son of Chris, which probably kicked off this obsession.

Reginald has not reappeared in any significant way in Chris's comics since Chris emerged from the [[Time Void]]. However, the Sneasel's fumbling stupidity has perversely made him a favorite with trolls, and he played a key role in the FALSE and DISHONEST episodes of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]
[[Category:Villains]]