CWCki - User contributions [en]

July 2016 Paid Video Requests

2016-07-23T07:53:00Z

Sirbogan:

{{Transcription}}

On 18 July 2016, Chris announced that he would be offering video messages for sale, for $50 each, arranged through texting instead of his defunct Etsy shop.

==Josh Lover of men==
'''Josh Lover of men''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 20 July 2016, as part of his video request program. In this video, Chris reads out a paragraph written by a [[homo]] named Josh about how much of a [[ween|crazy fucking idiot he is for paying $50 to Chris for this video]]. Chris was hopelessly [[Autism|unable to detect the sarcasm]] praising his exemplary life and achievements. In fact, Josh's admiration was so obviously masturbatory, it's reasonable to assume Chris would have understood it as mockery if not for his inexhaustible sense of [[Chris and his Ego|self-importance]]

{{Infobox/video
| name = Josh Lover of men
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qTjvP_EXKlo}}
| stardate = 20 [[July 2016]]
| previous = [[Update_20160718]]
| next = [[Announcement 07202016]]
}}

===Description===
And now by paid request...

===Transcript===
[''[[PlayStation 4|PS4]] intro'']

Hello [[Speech impediment|'vbody]], this is [[Tomgirl|Christine]] Chandler, and, uh, the following is from... this guy Joshua's own words, this is a paid request. And the title is right here underneath, "Josh, Lover of Men". So, yeah. [''reading from iPhone''] "[[Homos|Homosexual]] known as Josh has [[Financhu Crisis|paid me $50]] [[United States]] currency to make this video. He is truly a [[Ween|crazy fucking idiot]] for doing so." His words, not mine. He wanted me to tell his [[Gal pal|friend]] Nicole that "she is an attractive slut and that he [[Speech Impediment|abbire]] her - he admires her greatly and appreciates her filthy whore face. Happy early birthday, you magnificent piece of human [[14 Branchland Court|garbage]]. You are such trash and we all love you a lot."

On a more serious note, Josh also [[Speech impediment|wanned]] me to remind you that, hmmm, [''reading''] "[[White knight|I, Christine, am now and have always been a worthwhile human being that deserves a great amount of respect]], and... all [''unintelligible''] and... gratitude for... over the years of [[Chris and art|creativity and effort]] I have poured forth, for all the [[Chris and anger|genuine love and care]] I have trust onto you, not just for [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] and all related [[Chris and copyright|original intellectual properties]], but also for the care I have put into my [[Trolls|fanbase]] and all those loyal to my [[Love Quest|righteous cause]]. Please take a moment out of each day to think about the tremendous good I have done for you, and others, and what you could do to give back. Be the hero that you feel inside. Be the Sonichu dat's in your [[Heart Level|heart]]. And go fast. Go... to PayPal, and buy a personalized video just like Josh did. Much love," Josh assed... me to bid you a fond farewell, "and may [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|lightning hedgehogs]] guide you to a path o' happiness".

Well, Nicole, at least he appreciates you. And, yeah, [[Chris and his Ego|I agree with him on everything about me]], so... thank you, Joshua. [[List of Chris's lies|I don't like very much calling other people... such negative things]], 'cause they're still people, after all, but... let's just leave it at that.

[''PS4 outro'']

==Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter==
As the second of his paid request videos to raise money during the [[Financhu Crisis]], Chris read a famous internet meme "copypasta" about an individual who "sexually identifies as an attack helicopter". The resulting video was '''Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter'''. At the end, Chris found it necessary to exaggeratedly shake his head so his [[Trolls|fanbase]] would know he is not associated with the literary masterpiece he just read.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fof0BM28TUY}}
| stardate = 20 [[July 2016]]
| previous = [[Announcement 07202016]]
}}

===Description===
And now by paid request...

via YouTube capture

===Transcript===
Hello everybody, here's another paid request, their words, not mine, it's a... little piece of literature this person liked. Alright, so... [''reading energetically''] "I [[Tomgirl|sexually identify]] as an at''tack'' helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the [[Speech impediment|offields]], dropping... [[Semen|hot, sticky loads]] on [[Chris and race|disgusting foreigners]]. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible, and I'm... [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]], but I don't ''care''. I'm beautiful." Mmph. [''suddenly monotone, confused''] "I'm having a... plastic surgeon install [[Speech impediment|rolly]] blades, thirty-millimeter... cannons, and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body, [''high pitched''] and from now on, I want you guys to call me ''ApaCHEEE'' and respect my rights to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me, you're a... heliphobe... and you need to check your vehicle [[Speech impediment|priviges]]. Thank you for being so understanding."

Wow, that's [[Chris and psychology|crazy]], that's jus'... I feel like... it's weird. [''Chris makes a strange sound, seemingly blowing a very short raspberry''] Whatever.

[''He shakes his head rapidly while [[Chris and cinematography|wobbling the camera]]'']

Alright, well there you go. Paid request. Have a good day.

==Happy Birthday, Nathan.==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Nathan.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CYjULlAjQ3E}}
| stardate = 21 [[July 2016]]
}}

===Description===
And now, another paid request...

via YouTube Capture

===Transcript===

==Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare==
The copypasta Chris was paid to read this time, the "Navy Seal Copypasta" (or [[Wikipedia:Guerrilla warfare|"Gorilla Warfare"]]), is notably heavy on [[Chris and English#Chris and profanity|profanity]]. Presumably to the disappointment of the requester, Chris neglected to read all but one of the curses used. Most were simply deleted, resulting in awkward pauses and seemingly nonsensical sentences, though a few were replaced with milder words or strange sound effects.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=8_KAd19UGs0}}
| stardate = 21 [[July 2016]]
}}

===Description===
And now, another paid request...

via YouTube Capture

===Transcript===
And now, another special recording request, paid, copypasta, their words not mine, called "Gorilla Warfare". What the- did you- just say about me, you little ''bloof''? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy SEALs! And I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills! I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top of- the top sniper in the entire [[United States of America|U.S.]] armed forces. You're nothing to me! You're just another target! I'll wipe the- out with precision... the likes of which you have- has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my... words. You think you'll get away with saying that... to me into- to me over the internet? Think again! As we speak I'm contacting my secret network of spies across the U.S., and your IP is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot, the storm that wipes out the... [[Duck|pathetic little thing]] you call your life. You're... dead, kid! [''[[It's UGH!|strange growling voice]]''] I can be anywhere, at any time. I can kill you in over 700 ways, and that's just with my bare haaands! [''normal voice''] Not only am I extensive trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corp [''sic''], [''high pitched''] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little! [''normal voice''] If only you could have known the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|unholy reb- retribution]] your little "clever" comment ''was'' about to bring upon you, maybe you w'ave held your- tongue. But you couldn't, c- you didn't... and now you're paying the price, you god-dang idiot! I will... fury out over you and you will drown in it! You're dead, kiddo.

Yep, [''rolls eyes''] there's another paid creepypasta [''sic''], which I just read. [''claps down phone, [[Creepy stare|stares into camera]]''] Eh, whatever. Have a good day.

==Singing "Yellow Submarine"==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Singing "Yellow Submarine"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|o_-DFejUbDk}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
}}

===Description===
With pleasure, and by paid request,

via YouTube Capture

===Transcript===

==Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cAR-6otspXk}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
}}

This video was deleted by Youtube for violating its policy on "nudity or sexual content."

===Description===
via YouTube Capture

===Transcript===

==For Elisabeth==
{{Infobox/video
| name = For Elisabeth
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XxJPbuAkaY0}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
}}

===Description===
via YouTube Capture

===Transcript===

==To Stephen.==
{{Infobox/video
| name = To Stephen.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RP9VKMOg-wg}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
}}

===Description===
via YouTube Capture

===Transcript===

Update 20160718

2016-07-19T00:40:45Z

Sirbogan:

{{Transcription}}
'''Update_20160718''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 18 July 2016. He begins this video by wishing a happy anniversary to [[Trolls|George]] and [[Sweetheart|Amber]], part of a new video request program Chris started, that costs $50 up front. He also shows off some Pokemon cards he is putting on eBay, finally selling some of his useless shit that he has for money, but he still continues to beg for donations. He also announces that he is not going to OmegaCon due to his [[money]] problems.

Notable in this video is the glorious return of the "[[Captain's Log]]" opening, [[XBox is OK.MOV|the first time since 2010]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Update_20160718
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2cssaf1F8qs}}
| stardate = 18 [[July 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Blue tomgirl
| previous = [[Donations Further Requested, Please]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox| Text Video Requests to me at (434)-760-0848; $50, and Payment Required Upfront, please.

Donations still requested.

Please send donations directly to us via PayPal to my email address: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.

If you don't know how, watch this video.

https://youtu.be/wPYVhPe_PTQ

Links to my Pokemon card eBay listings are on my Facebook wall and Twitter feed; go there to find them.
}}

===Transcript===
[''PS4 intro'']

{{Captain's Log}}

Chris and brand loyalty

2016-07-01T00:25:24Z

Sirbogan:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|You gotta have merchandise because it's like a wedding ring for the product. And it makes it- and then the fans will- will continue to support you as long as you have the merchandise a- it's like a wedding ring. |[[Download For Play Only|Chris, making his thoughts on branding as clear as he can.]]}}
[[Image:Chris Love Micky D's.png|thumb|I'm LOVIN' it.]]
'''Brand loyalty''' is a consumer's commitment to repeatedly purchasing a product or service from a particular company or business. Companies use advertising, loyalty programs, product placement and contests to establish a brand which consumers will recognize, consider valuable, and seek out at the expense of other brands. Due to his difficulty separating [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]], Chris tends to think an advertisement is a [[Axe|literal documentation of a product's effectiveness]] rather than an intrinsically biased attempt to lure consumers and, as a result of his sense of entitlement, he views [[Chris and contests|winning games of chance]] as a validation of his self worth. These qualities, in combination with his [[Autism|rigid thinking, fear of change and attraction to routine]], has led Chris to have intense brand loyalty for certain products as well as hatred for their perceived rivals. His loyalty even extends to areas that would not normally be considered "brands," such as mental disabilities and sexual orientations.

==Overview==
{{Quote|Oil of [[Wikipedia: Olay|Olay]] brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good... I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously]]! I certainly do not use any animals, my own [[Semen|jizz]], or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And Axe body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!|[[Anti Troll Movement Video1|Chris, promoting hygiene products without irony.]]}}
[[Image:Rubi 110309.jpg|thumb|right|Chris considered this an appropriate reward for drinking thousands of cans of Coke.]]
Chris considers his choice of brands to be a major component of his identity. In general, once Chris has committed to a particular "brand" he will stand by it regardless of its quality. He considers those who abandon a brand in favor of a competitor, such as [[Sonichu]] fans who became fans of [[Asperchu]], to be "hypocrites." Chris seems to consider being a consumer of a particular brand as something like a relationship - at one point clumsily attempting to use a mangled quote from the video game ''[[Brutal Legend]]'' to explain this strange belief, saying that merchandise was like a wedding ring and that as long as there was branded merchandise available, fans should stay loyal<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>.

As Chris's allegiance to brands plays such an important role in defining Chris's personal understanding of his identity, he feels highly threatened when either his favorite brands or his loyalty to them are called into question. Many of Chris's most notorious outbursts are a direct result of this insecurity. While this was the basis for much of Chris's internet trolling, it apparently dates back into Chris's early life when school bullies, in a form of proto-trolling, would tell him that Sonic the Hedgehog was dead in order to get a rise out of him.<ref>some Jackie chat</ref>

Chris is highly susceptible to marketing and branding; he feels strong loyalty to brands even, and perhaps especially, if they are essentially identical to their rivals. He is drawn to virtually every attempt at generating brand loyalty, compulsively entering any contest he encounters and fastidiously collecting various loyalty points, including [[My Coke Rewards]] and [[Wikipedia:McDonald's Monopoly|''McDonald's Monopoly'']].

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|left|[[Chris and copyright|Free advertising]].]]
Chris seems to struggle to understand the economics of advertisements, instead seeing them as positive features in the media he enjoys. He happily included his own versions of advertisements and product placement for real brands in his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] and nearly every issue of [[Sonichu]]; he seemed genuinely surprised that Coke, for example, wouldn't want one of his fake Coke ads - "hand-drawn charm" notwithstanding - on the [[CWCipedia]]. He also frequently states that his videos are sponsored or "brought to you by" various companies with which he has no business relationship and uses his own variation of marketing speak to plug their products. <ref>[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]</ref> Likewise he often attempts to promote his favorite brands by parroting their advertising language, a habit he has had since at least high school. <ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

He is a vigorous defender of his favored brands in unusual ways, warning his readers not to purchase pirated versions of [[Little Big Planet]] (a PS3 exclusive title) for Xbox 360, despite the fact that this is impossible.

{{clear}}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==
{{quote|HERO OF MY LIFE|[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Chris, describing Sonic]}}
[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|A match made in heaven?]]
Sonic is the quintessential example of Chris's intense brand loyalty. Chris is, in many ways, the product of Sega's attempt to allow people to feel a personal connection with electronic appliances. Following Mario's success for Nintendo, Sonic was designed to appeal to young children and act as a mascot for Sega. He was concocted by combining elements from other popular cultural elements of the early 1990s, including Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Santa Claus. Part of Sega's strategy was to employ a multi-pronged marketing technique, including video games, television shows, toys and contests. Chris followed all of these closely and in a fateful moment became the winner of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], which cemented Sonic's place of honor in Chris's mind. Sonic became Chris's "lifelong hero," replacing his previous "lifelong hero" [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|The American Rabbit]] (despite Sonic's much greater grip on his life, Chris has often felt compelled to mention the American Rabbit, as if out of some obligation). While Sonic was certainly a popular franchise, particularly in the 1990s, Chris became obsessed with the hedgehog to a level likely unanticipated by Sega. During the 1990s Sonic occupied nearly all of his thinking, serving as a fantasy world in which he could escape from the realities of daily life. Chris would generally combine Sonic with whatever he was doing, whether it was replacing the characters in Goosebumps books with Sonic characters or combining [[Bionic|Sonic with basketball to form the recolor "Bionic]]." Over the past two decades Chris has purchased nearly every Sonic-branded game, toy, and bit of merchandise, and seems to view Sonic as something resembling an old personal friend.

Instead of growing up and moving on when the Sonic brand began to grow stale at the end of the 1990s, Chris merged Sonic with his other beloved franchise at the time, [[Pokémon]], to create [[Sonichu]], who has largely replaced Sonic as the primary character in his internal fantasy world - although Sonic still makes occasional cameo appearances.

Despite Sonic's sidekick Tails' major presence in the Sonic canon, Chris rarely refers to him and conspicuously left him, or any recolor of him or two-tailed anything, absent from ''Sonichu''. Some have speculated that this may be due to popular schoolyard rumors that conjectured that Sonic and Tails were in a homosexual relationship. Chris's notorious [[homos|homophobia]] may have caused him to have an aversion to a character that he imagined might have tempted Sonic from "the straight path."

Although Mario and Nintendo were vicious rivals of Sonic and Sega, Chris seems to have been largely oblivious to this tension ([[Chris and hypocrisy|or simply didn't care because he liked both brands]]) and never subjected them to the kind of hatred he would aim at rivals of his favored products later in his life.

Chris appears to worship Sonic ''the character'' more than Sonic ''the brand'', as he would be easily teased at school when other students said that Sonic was dead<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9|Jackie Chat #9]]</ref>, and believed that YouTuber "hotdiggedydemon" had murderous intent against the [[Chris and reality|fictional character]] in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF9CS3L_ezw Sonic: Too Fast?] and insisted [[List of Christian's comments on YouTube#Sonic: Too Fast?|that Sonic was alive]]. Chris's almost religious dedication to Sonic reached a surprising limit when he [[26 December 2014|vandalized products and assaulted staff]] over a superficial change to Sonic, [[Sonic Boom|the color of his arms]].

==[[PS3|Playstation 3]] vs. [[HEXBox]]==
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|Violence is never the answer.]]
[[Image:cwcps3_by_nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|right]]
{{quote|Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call My Digital Home. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|[[PS3 History Level|Chris expressing TRUE and HONEST love.]]}}
Perhaps Chris's best known case of brand loyalty is his sycophantic love of the [[PS3|Sony PlayStation 3]] and abject hatred for the [[HEXBox|Microsoft XBox 360]]. While fanboyism for these video game consoles is certainly well known and the rivalry between these products is referred to as a "console war," Chris, as he frequently does, took it to a new level, irrationally hating the Xbox 360 and heaping love and money on Sony. Chris was obsessed with the PlayStation 3 long before he was able to purchase one, stating that he would throw out the cure for autism for the $600 hunk of black plastic <ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref>. When he finally bought a PS3, after failing to [[Pixelated PS3|win it in a contest]], he considered it to be the "ultimate life upgrade." The PS3 and its online component the [[PSN]], where he has spent thousands of dollars, became an extremely important part of every day for Chris. He would also use his limited budget to purchase numerous Sony branded accessories, including a flat-screen TV, a [[PSEye]], PSmove, PSmove Sharpshooter and multiple [[Guitar Hero]] controllers. Chris seems to find more pleasure in the purchasing of PS3 content than in its actual use. He frequently buys downloadable content for games he does not own. Chris seems to consider the PS3 and its games and accessories to be a genuine life improvement or something akin to investments rather than a glorified hugbox; how these electronic gizmos do anything but distract him from reality remains unclear. Chris went to great lengths to express his distaste for the PS3's primary rival: the Xbox 360, or "HEXbox" as he liked to call it. When Chris would propose a video game such as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]], he would make sure to state that it would be for all consoles... HEXbox excepted. Chris went as far as defacing in-store advertisements for the Xbox while yelling "kick that hex-bawx" <ref>August 2010</ref> and frequently lashing out at those who appeared to like or be affiliated with the Xbox.

Chris's reasons for hating the Xbox 360 have never been clearly defined. When pressed for answers, Chris would generally cite Xbox Live's (Xbox's online component) cost or the infamous "[[Wikipedia:Red_ring_of_death#.22General_Hardware_Failure.22_errors|red ring of death]]" <ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>. He would later admit that his anger stemmed from jealousy over being unable to afford an original Xbox and that the aforementioned reasons were merely excuses<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>. Though he later softened his stance against the Xbox under the influence of [[Jackie]], the rivalry between the consoles and Chris's loyalty towards Sony was at its peak during the height of Chris trolling. This caused his hatred to become well known and the Xbox 360 to become a bit of a mascot for trolls. Chris also associated the Xbox with trolls, depicting [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] as an Xbox user. Even though he has recanted much of his hatred towards the XBox 360, he has not made the choice to purchase one, despite spending the vast majority of his money on video games.

Chris once felt similar hatred towards the PlayStation 1 and 2, which were at that time rivals to his beloved Nintendo 64 and GameCube respectively. His hatred for Sony and its gaming products, described by Chris as equal to his contemporary hatred of Microsoft, evaporated when he purchased a PlayStation 1 at an SPCA rummage sale for a "bargain." He intended to sell it for profit, but instead played it and found it to be enjoyable. Instead of learning from this, discovering that rival consoles can be equally enjoyable, Chris simply became a [[Sony]] fanboy (in addition to a [[Nintendo]] fanboy) and began hating Microsoft.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==[[Autism]] vs. [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]]==
{{quote|Competing Retards|[[Mailbag 19|The first words that comes to Chris's mind when he thinks of Asperger's syndrome]]}}
Chris extends his loyalty to brands far outside the normal realms of products and services and into the world of mental abnormality. He is extremely loyal to his diagnosis of autism, swearing by "my autism" multiple times and considering it to be an integral part of his identity, despite having serious difficulty grasping how the condition affects his ability to function. Just as with the PS3 and Xbox 360, Chris has identified a rival to autism in Asperger's syndrome. This is a classic case of Chris's propensity to choose one "brand" over another despite the fact that they are identical; Chris's "high-functioning" autism and Asperger's are essentially the same diagnoses. Chris feels that people with Asperger's are trying to "steal his limelight" and in fact stated that the name of the disorder, beyond merely sounding like "a bad cut of meat," brought to mind "competing retards." He seems to believe that people with Asperger's syndrome are somehow faking their symptoms.

Chris's loyalty to autism and insistence on believing it to be different from Asperger's syndrome, forces him to ignore any kind of reason. Initially his unusual feelings on the matter were unknown and he was able to blissfully hold onto his ignorance unopposed, but when they were discovered and the outside world pushed him on the issue he displayed a stunning slide towards the grossly irrational. Initially, when confronted by "fans" in the [[mailbag]], Chris claimed, while pointing to the Wikipedia articles on the topic, that the two were differentiated by the age of onset (which is complete nonsense), but quickly decided that his "mind was closed" to the matter and refused to answer any more questions on the topic. When pushed further by [[Vivian G]], Chris went as far as to say that he was willing "[[Chris and reality|live this lie than believe that truth]]."

==[[Harry Potter]] vs. [[Pokémon]]==

[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|thumb|right|Chris expressing his hatred for "that spaz" the only way he knows how... in Pokémon form.]]
{{quote|He dared compete against Pok'emon, PLUS he is a total Spaz, and I just do not care for him at all.|[[Mailbag 7|Chris]]}}
Although this is not seen as a traditional rivalry by the rest of world, Chris has a strong dislike of the boy wizard Harry Potter because he perceives him to be a threat to the Pokémon franchise. Chris calls him a "[[slow-in-the-minds|total spaz]]"<ref>[[Mailbag 7|Mailbag #7]]</ref> and at one point even [[Death threats|''threatened to kill'']] [[Chris and reality|the fictional character]].<ref>[[:File:100-DarkCWC.jpg|"Dark Christian" card]] from [[Wall of Originals]].</ref> His hatred appears to stem from Chris's perception that a brand was once again "stealing the limelight" from something he identified with, in this case Pokémon. While Pokémon was aimed at younger children, Harry Potter targeted a slightly older, more literate demographic. To Chris, the choice was obvious.

In later years Chris softened his stance on Harry Potter and at the request of [[Jackie]], he [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dressed up as a wizard and made reference to Harry Potter]].

==[[Nintendo]]==
{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have [[Chris and money|invested]] THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in Nintendo Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA.|[[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris's Inspiration|Chris, expecting his loyalty to Nintendo to be repaid.]]}}
Chris has been a lifelong fan of Nintendo products, and although his love of Sonic prevented him from becoming obsessed with Mario, Chris has owned nearly every Nintendo console and handheld since the NES (there have been no signs of the infamous Virtual Boy). His relationship with Nintendo and his interactions with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who he believed was interested in producing a Sonichu game, displays Chris's odd understanding of consumer/corporate relations. It appears that Chris believed that his loyalty to various corporate interests would be recognized and returned in a reciprocal fashion, as he listed his multitude of Nintendo purchases in an attempt to convince the game developer to work with him<ref>Miyamoto emails</ref>.

==Sexuality==
{{quote|I am straight; do not label me otherwise. I would rather suffer a painful [[Tomgirl|gender-change operation]] than ever be a [[homo]].|[[Sonichu #9|Chris demonstrating proper use of a semicolon.]]}}
{{quote|Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, [[Virgin#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|THE FIRST TIME]], and maybe the second time as well, [[Mia Hamm|I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN]], I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.|[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|Chris discussing his plans for his first time with his webmaster.]]}}
Chris's allegiance to heterosexuality and hatred for homosexuality could be seen as a form of warped brand loyalty. To Chris, heterosexual love is the most pure joyous expression of emotion that can be experienced, the search for which is the noblest of quests. Its opposite- homosexual love- on the other hand, is a warped dangerous temptation and those who practice it are worthy of scorn. Chris has even forgone platonic same-sex friendships in an effort to avoid any possibility that he might associate with and be tempted by a homosexual. Just as with his hatred for the XBox, Chris is completely closed minded when it comes to evaluating homosexuality; to him it is the enemy and the mere thought of it makes him blind with rage. Despite his efforts at finding heterosexual love, Chris seems more concerned with insuring that he is properly labeled as a STRAIGHT man. His efforts to prove to the world that he is in fact not a homo include going as far as planning to record and publicize his first heterosexual experience against the wishes of his hypothetical partner. Whether Chris's hatred for homosexuality stems from jealousy, as it did with his hatred for the XBox, is unknown.

The origin of this loyalty can be traced back to his childhood: [[Bob Chandler]], being a not-so-nice Southern gentleman, not only disliked homosexuals in the traditional bigoted manner, but suffered from frequent paranoid delusions regarding their role in his life. When Chris ran into trouble at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Bob blamed the problems not only on the principal (who he was certain was a homosexual), but on the school board which, for reasons left unclear, he believed to be stacked with homosexuals who despised his family. Even the incredibly [[naïve]] Christian was capable of seeing that this was, at the very least, an exaggeration, if not a paranoid persecution fantasy<ref>Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.</ref>. Nevertheless this kind of hatred and paranoia sunk into Chris's mind and was compounded by Bob's unfounded and bizarre belief that Chris's trolling originated with several homosexuals who he believed frequented [[the GAMe PLACe]].

Chris's feelings on lesbianism are more nuanced. While he still feels the Biblical injunction against same-sex coupling applies, scissoring is just too hot for him to condemn.

==[[Axe]]==
{{quote|I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN"|[[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|Chris]]}}
Chris's loyalty to this multinational deodorant brand (called Lynx in the UK and [[PandaHalo|Australia]]) is a classic example of Chris taking advertising literally. Early commercials for the deodorant depicted women throwing themselves at men in a manner reminiscent of Chris's desire for women to approach him in public. Rather than seeing this as hyperbole, Chris seems to believe that the product may have this effect in reality. Obviously Axe has never worked as advertised for Chris, but he has maintained his status as a loyal customer for many years.

Axe is also an example of how Chris considers the products he buys an integral component of his identity. As a loyal Axe customer, he was deeply disturbed when he was told that Axe was popular in the gay community, and he felt the need to use [[Youtube]] to [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|request that the Unilever Corporation]] use labels to specifically forbid homosexuals from using their products.

==[[McDonald's]] vs. [[Burger King]]==
{{quote|Tea for a dollar, in a Large Cup, at McDonalds; go Dollar-Menuaires!|[[IRC (24 October 2008)|Chris, plugging his favorite restaurant to the trolls.]]}}
[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|left|[[Chris and cinematography|An example of Chris's brilliant camerawork]].]]
Chris is a lifelong acolyte of McDonald's and thus dislikes its main competitor, Burger King. McDonald's is a major component of Chris's life. He eats a significant percentage of his meals at the popular fast-food restaurant, considers it the perfect location for a first date, and features it as a location in several issues of Sonichu. One of his most cherished and sickening fantasies involves having sex with his sweetheart in the handicapped bathroom of the local McDonald's. Chris has little love for Burger King, although he certainly never mentioned refusing to eat the food when dragged there by his father, who preferred it to McDonald's (Bob and Chris apparently did have some dispute about coupons with the Manager of their local Burger King, resulting in Chris's bizarre attempt to get his trolls to troll the Manager by creating an article on the CWCki). Chris has never mentioned having any strong positive or negative feelings toward the Wendy's chain before his brief stint as an employee, and seems not to hold animosity toward the chain as a whole despite being fired from his local store after three days.

Some time in 2012 Chris seemed to have turned on McDonald's, urging people to avoid the Forest Lakes location as he believes he has been discriminated against due to his autism and foul mouth. But in [[2013]], he plugged it on [[Facebook]]: ''Eat Healthy with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.'' (Note that McWraps contain up to 620 calories, and the tea 220. And even the apple slices have been found to be [http://jezebel.com/5934390/mcdonaldss-apple-slices-recalled-because-theyre-crawling-with-disease crawling with ''Listeria''].)

==Coke and Pepsi==
Surprisingly, Chris does not appear to have a specific long-term loyalty in this classic example of a nonexistent choice. He has been known to drink both, but claims that Sonichu drinks only [[CWC Cola]], a variant of Pepsi with a [[Semen|special ingredient]]. At one point he supported a boycott of Pepsi due to its alleged "gay-friendliness." He has been known to hoard My Coke Rewards points; in the Ivy Q&A, Ivy describes his becoming miffed at having to use his points to buy a different version of a song he already owned to fulfill Ivy's request for a video. One might think that a few points are a trifling thing when sweet, sweet [[china]] is the potential reward, but then one probably isn't Chris.
==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

June 2016

2016-06-30T13:05:42Z

Sirbogan:

'''June 2016''' is a new month for [[Chris-chan]]. The month began with Chris’s sex-off competition with [[Johan]] coming to a close, with Johan emerging as the victor. Unfortunately, Chris's [[IMG 3207|entry]] for the competition was flagged for violating YouTube terms of service, but it was quickly re-uploaded. After losing his competition to Johan, Chris decided to close down his [[Etsy]] shop in favor of a page on [http://www.zazzle.com/ Zazzle]. Right after finding a different way to make money online, Chris decided to start an e-begging campaign, claiming that [[Lie|the money would be used for necessities, such as medication and bills,]] despite living in a room full of [[toys]]. Despite his scam for more toy money, he achieved his goal.

After multiple videos of Chris e-begging, he decided to revive his career as an [[Carlos Chantor|escort]]. As featured in a video leaked by a revived form of [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]], Chris offers to fuck [[Hypocrisy|non-transgender]] women for extremely high prices, giving his hooker name as "Stephanie Bustcakes." After that, Chris resurrected his search to find a caretaker for Barb, once again harassing [[Cole Smithey]] on [[Twitter]], and later making a similar [[Facebook]] post and even a drawing, believing that [[Autism|insulting someone would make that person want to help you]].

==Events==
*June 2nd - Chris's ent
*June 4th - Chris records an awfully made [[Happy Cat *kisses*|video]] of his [[cat]] Pollo.
*June 5th - Chris deletes his poll between him and Johan the Bully due to Johan winning.
*June 11th - Chris records [[Happy Birthday, Jonathan|a video]] congratulating Jonathan for his birthday.
*June 11th - on the same day, Chris makes a [[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|video]] explaining that he shut down his Etsy and announces a new Zazzle page.
*13th June - Chris makes plenty of rambles on Facebook.
*June 14th - Chris makes an urgent request for donations to pay for [[Barb]]'s asthma medication.
*14 June: Chris makes two videos for Barbara's asthma meds. Barbara seems eerily lifeless in one, and nearly dead in the other.
*17 June: Chris makes a 20 minute video in which he reads a story in a successful attempt to get Barb her asthma medication, only to then say he needs to pay the electric company $200 afterwards.
*19 June: Chris makes another video begging for donations , in a room literally filled with toys he can sell.
*20 June: Chris posts a status about Bob for Father's Day.
*22 June: Chris emerges in a leaked video courtesy of the CWCville library, the video is quite reminiscent of earlier times.
*29 June: Chris makes another video, you guessed it, begging for more money. He also apologizes for all [[JERKS|males]] while reading off another goddamn script. That same day, he makes another announcement stating that he has been "[[Lie|cured]]" of his [[autism]], all thanks to a fake video.

{{Timeline}}

June 2016

2016-06-30T04:29:41Z

Sirbogan:

Sonic Boom Protests

2016-06-21T00:49:34Z

Sirbogan:

{{Needs Updating}}

''For the song, click [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|here]].''
[[File:ChrisSonicBoomArms.jpg|thumb|Remember kids: always effect change through vandalism. [[26 December 2014|What could possibly go wrong?]]]]
[[File:PROTESTING SANIC BUM.jpg|thumb|Chris's protest inserts.]]

Towards late [[2014]], while everyone else was posting on [[Facebook]] about [[Chris and his Ego|less]] [[Homos|important]] [[Women's rights|political]] [[Chris and race|concerns]], [[Chris]] decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting [[Sega]]'s decision to '''make [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms blue''' (as opposed to the usual tan color) in their latest ''non-canon'' game in the series. He is so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he has gone so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, [[Death threats|threaten the lives]] of Sega employees, glitterbomb Sega's American HQ, and even physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's [[Chris and reality|prolonged estrangement from reality]] is at its peak, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channeling [[Chris and anger|anger]] in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it by vandalizing copies of ''Sonic Boom'' wherever he sees them. When GameStop employees rightfully tried to make him leave the store, he agreed to walk out, but only after [[26 December 2014|brandishing his can of mace and spraying it at one poor employee's shirt]].

At first, it was unclear whether Chris would boycott ''Sonic Boom'' or just buy the games and watch the show like the [[Chris and brand loyalty|consumerist lemming]] he is. Given his irrational hatred and acts of vandalism towards otherwise available games, the former seemed more likely. On 13 [[January 2015]], it was [[Kiwi Farms|revealed]] that he owned copies of the games. Chris said that they were sent to him by [[Catherine]].

Why Chris has such a bizarre distaste for such a minor, insignificant detail in the first place is still up for speculation. It could simply be some [[Autism|overly-attached]] [[Manchester High School|nostalgia]] to the 'original' Sonic the Hedgehog, or possibly some inner-venting for his own [[Sonichu (comic)|failed franchise]] that he is determined to get into ''Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and [[Nintendo]] [[3DS]]''. Whatever the reason, it certainly isn't [[health]]y for Chris, given his current [[Chris and psychology|state]]. In other words, this makes the superficial reactions to Godzilla supposedly getting "[[Obesity|fatter]]" in the 2014 movie, or the new designs for the lightsabers in ''[[Star Wars]]: The Force Awakens'', seem simple and quaint in comparison. At least he isn't complaining about Sonic's green eyes?

==Protests==
===Blarms Backstory===
Chris's hatred for Sonic's blue arms started in February 2014, when the first advertisements for the ''Sonic Boom'' TV show appeared on [[Adult Swim|Cartoon Network]]. In December he offered the following chronology:

{{quotebox|3 December 2014

I have just received a question from one of my girl friends: "So, I'm curious, where did you hear about this blue-armed Sonic Issue? Is it something you discovered on your own, or is it a bigger issue in the Sonic community?"

To best answer this question, and to VERY MUCH my visual dismay and further recollection: I HAVE been feeling this SINCE Last February. I needed to search for the ONE Announcement Trailer Video of the DAMN TV Show. I Remember finding it for myself on either Facebook through SEGA's feed, or on YouTube through the video recommendations, on my laptop, as we were moving into the temporary house. I felt UTTER Shock at the sight of the Blue Arms on Sonic immediately as I watched it for the first time that day in Early February, 2014; This Year.

I was too busy and [[Stress|stressed]] from collecting as much as possible from the burnt house, and bringing them either to our Storage Unit, and this house's basement

I had not thought about the issue much, UNTIL Last June or July with the E3 Trailers being presented on the SEGA and Sonic Facebook Pages! Since Then, I have continuously protested the Blue Arms by commenting and messaging them that "Sonic's Arms are NOT Blue!!!" And among which, I have Warned Them that this sort of thing would NOT end well for them, and it was, and still is, a Very Bad Idea!!!

So, in short: I watched the damn trailer last February, I felt Pissed Off Then, I relearned about it last June or July: I Still felt Very Pissed Off, and NOW I am continually Growing and GROWING More Angry and PISSED OFF AT SEGA, NINTENDO AND CARTOON NETWORK AND EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED THERE!!!

I have Contacted SEGA and Commented NUMEROUSLY with MONTHS worth of time. They ignored me, Not Responded or Done Anything about it at all, and therefore the time for Talk IS LONG DONE AND OVERWITH!!! AND WE NEED ACTION UPON SEGA AND SONIC BOOM NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!

Thank you.

<nowiki>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_A3e2bl334</nowiki>}}
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris must ''really'' hate this drawing now.]]
For all the agitation and violence, Chris has never clearly explained exactly ''why'' this particular alteration to this particular cartoon character makes him so furious. The closest he came to explaining his confrontational stance was in a June Facebook post:

{{quote|I only just heard and seen the ugly change a few weeks ago, and I had too many other [[Stress|stresses]] going on to act earlier.

Why do I feel this way?

The same reason why many people feel [[Chris and race|Michael Jackson should]][[Chris and reality| not have had to ]][[Chris and race|change his color]]. Would you want to change your skin detail, just for a "change of image" or an "insecurity of self-concept"?

I would not even [[Chris and death|commit suicide ever]], because of how low in self-confidence and self-esteem I have been feeling for YEARS. I'm going to eventually [[Chris and health|pass natural]].

So let's get Sonic's arm color changed back!}}

He returned to the Michael Jackson analogy in November, arguing that "this Blue Arm Travesty is as Gosh Awful as Michael Jackson's whiteface thing!" He was careful to add, "Nothing personal against the Pop Star singer....And nothing personal against anyone of any Race or Color either."

While it is difficult to decipher Chris’s garbled sentences, it is clear that his fury is linked to his belief that Sonic, like all cartoon characters, [[Chris and reality|is real and lives in a parallel universe]]. Like many autistic people, Chris is very resistant to change, especially when it is forced upon him. Chris would not change (“commit suicide”) even in the face of tremendous hardship. Sonic, however, like the King of Pop, was forced to change for trivial reasons such as appealing to a broader audience. Sonic has been Chris’s lifelong hero with whom he identifies strongly, so he has taken this injustice very personally. Unfortunately, he falsely assumes that countless millions feel the same way.

At other times, however, Chris has latched onto the idea that the blue arms cause him "sensory overload." [[Sensory Overload|Sensory overload]] is a broad term simply meaning that the body reacts to overstimulation of a sense, but in autistics it generally refers to an abstract, specific sensory stimulus (such as blue arms) which the autistic person is simply unable to stand. However, if sensory overload were a real issue, all he would need to do is avoid Sonic Boom. Chris has never before complained about sensory overload, and damningly has gone so far as to ''draw blue-armed hedgehogs himself'' such as [[Chris and art|some depictions]] of [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. The truth is that Chris either believes that Sega is abusing his best friend, or he is using his [[autism]] as an attempt to [[chris_and_the_industry|manipulate the intentions of a multi-billion dollar worth company.]]

===Oh Noes, It's Got a Second Season!===
After discovering that the TV series was renewed for a second season, Chris posted on Facebook to complain about it again.

{{quotebox|5 December 2014

A Second Season of the ‪#‎SonicBoom‬ show with those, [[Stress sigh|UGH!!!]], Blue Arms?!!! Hell No!!!

Boycott ‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬ With Me!!! Refuse to Watch the channel!!! Refuse to go to their Website for Any Reason as well!!! And TELL THEM TO PULL THE DAMN CARTOON FROM THE AIR AND FORCE ‪#‎SEGA‬ TO RECOLOUR SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

http://www.gamnesia.com/news/sonic-boom-cartoon-is-very-successful-second-season-confirmed

[[File:GamenesiaSonicBoom.jpg|220px]]}}

===Spreading the Good Word===
{{quotebox|5 December 2014

Also, Spreading the good word around; commenting and messaging others as I have? Copy/Paste the following short-but-direct message, with the link below:

SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!! SEGA NEEDS TO RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

FOLLOW ME IN BOYCOTTING SONIC BOOM, UNTIL SEGA WISES UP, RECALLS EVERYTHING AND CHANGES HIS ARM COLOUR BACK, NOW!!!

Join My Group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], and Sign Our Petition NOW!!!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA/}}

===Greatest Mistake Ever===
{{quotebox|7 December 2014

Follow My Lead to Force SEGA to Wise Up and Fix Their Greatest Mistake Ever!!!}}

Chris later on posted a link to this post to his Facebook group:

{{quotebox|
EVERYONE! I am going to hand-write to SEGA about this matter, and I have just called their 1-800 number and left a message last night. I will call again middle of this coming week if they do not call me back.

I am urging everyone in the group to write and/or telephone SEGA as well, and INSIST and DEMAND upon them to Recall Everything Sonic Boom, including the cartoon and video games, and Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately!!!

Suggest for them to do the following:
-Recall ALL remaining stock of the Sonic Boom Games and Merchandise from ALL of the stores carrying them.
-On the eSHOPS, IMMEDIATELY change the initial software to reflect Sonic with his original Tan Colour Arms, as well ALL video and imagery therein on there.
-Replace ALL of their imagery and videos on their official websites and pages to reflect Sonic with the original tan colour arms as well.
-IMMEDIATELY create NEW game Cards, Discs AND Inserts with Sonic's original tan colour arms. And on the software, the arm colour MUST be there INITIALLY; BEFORE any downloaded Software Updates.
-INSTILL downloadable Software Updates for all of the already sold games to reflect Sonic Initially with tan colour arms as well.
-REMOVE the Sonic Boom Cartoon from the Television and Internet airwaves, and change ALL of the Season One Episodes for Sonic to have his Original Tan Colour Arms, and Initially make that default in ALL following Seasons of episodes, including the Second Season.
-AND They Must Announce this Recall and Update, As well as Apologies to Every Individual Person who Has Found Little to GREATEST Offense in the new Arm Colour, IMMEDIATELY, WORLDWIDE BROADCAST AND IN PRINTED MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS EVERYWHERE!!!

Also, copy and paste the following true statement in your letters and telephone conversations:

"The very sight of Sonic's Blue Arms makes our ally, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, suffer from consistent Sensory Overloads. Upon seeing them, his brain immediately shuts down into a momentary to lengthy (depending on how long he is forced to displeasingly endure the horrific sight) state of mental paralysis. Combined with his Autism, he only gets more angry as each day passes with this pair of blue arms still remains. Either the Change back to him having tan colored arms happens IMMEDIATELY, or he and our THOUSANDS to MILLIONS of allies in the Sonic the Hedgehog Loyal Fanbase will only get more Angry and Outraged to the point of coming right over there to your office and doing something Very Bad there."

Also, if somehow you have managed to receive a copy of either Sonic Boom game (no questions asked), you should SMASH the Game Disc and or Game Card, and enclose the pieces with your Letter to SEGA of America. To show them that we are Very Serious and Passionate towards Rectifying their mistake in changing Sonic's arm colour.

Below is their address, and Customer Support phone number; LET'S GIVE THEM HELL AND BACK IN FORCING THEM TO WISE UP AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

'''[REDACTED]'''

‪#‎SEGA‬
‪#‎SonicTheHedgehog‬
‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎Nintendo‬
‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬
‪#‎GameStop‬
‪#‎ToysRUs‬
‪#‎WalMart‬
‪#‎Target‬
‪#‎BestBuy‬
‪#‎WiiU‬
‪#‎Wii‬
‪#‎3DS‬
‪#‎DS‬
‪#‎DSi‬
‪#‎AmyRose‬
‪#‎Tails‬
‪#‎Knuckles‬
‪#‎Robotnik‬
‪#‎Eggman‬}}

===Pickle Joke===
[[File:Black man in pickle suit (1).jpg|thumb|right|The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]'s reaction.]]
In Chris's new "FIX SONIC'S ARMS BACK" Facebook group, Chris posted about the pickle joke in the show, surprisingly being "neutral"
about it. Naturally, however, he eventually suspects it to be a [[Chris and his Ego|personal insult from SEGA]].
{{quotebox|10 December 2014

I know well I said not to talk about the show much, or post any spoilers. This time, though, I am willing to make this exception.

I have heard that in the show, Sonic ordered a sandwich with no pickles, but is served the sandwich with extra pickles. I feel neutral/indifferent about the joke. But my friend read a bit into it as a possible reference to myself, as well as a possible middle finger gesture to me from SEGA. Being Serious and Sincere, no sarcasm or jokes: what do y'all think/feel from this lame pickled vegetable joke? Answer in the comments of this post.}}

===For Christ's and God's Sake===
Chris shared another of SEGA's Facebook posts, this time about introducing the main character, and Chris as usual complained about his blue arms.
{{quotebox|12 December 2014

For [[Chris and religion|Christ's and God's]] Sake, PLEASe CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

[[File:SonicIntroduction.png|220px]]}}

===E-mail to SEGA===
On 11 [[December 2014]], CWCki user [[User:FromtheWordsofBR|FromtheWordsofBR]] jokingly sent an e-mail to Sega Customer Service under Chris's email, suggesting that they send him free copies of ''Sonic Boom'' for the [[HEXbox]]. Chris discovered this the next day, and proceeded to rage.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2014-dec-12-chriss-e-mail-to-sega.6462/</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|'''Ticket #137668: SONIC'S ARMS ARE. NOT BLUE!!!:'''
Hello,

Thank you for contacting Sega of America Customer Service. Your request (#137668) has been received, and is being reviewed by our support staff. Response times may vary, but typically you will hear back from us within the same business day. Our agents are on hand from 9AM to 5PM Pacific Standard Time, Monday through Friday (with the exception of US national holidays). Requests received over the weekend will be answered the following Monday.

To review the status of this request and add additional comments, follow the link below:

http://help.sega.com/requests/137668

You may also reply via email.}}
{{quotebox|
'''Chrischansonichu, Nov 20 00:07:'''
Listen, I DID NOT contact you initially with the message there. That was a HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL PRETENDING TO BE ME.

But since I have your attention now, I will bring it up directly with you now. MONTHS NOW, Sonic's Arms Being Blue has SERIOUSLY BEEN BOTHERING ME! They have caused me sensory overload Every Time I see them! They Have To Be Changed Back Now!!! I have contacted SEGA via their Facebook page, as well as the Sonic the Hedgehog Facebook page. Please see attached screen cap photos.

PLEASE RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM RIGHT NOW AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK!!! Or I will Do Worse!!!

I am still Very Pissed Off that no one has Fixed the Monstrosity that is Changing Sonic's Arm Color! I am Boycotting the Sonic Boom Games and TV Show and the Toys, minus the two I bought to illustrate my point, and everything else of it.

FIX SONIC'S ARM COLOR NOW, or I CONTINUE TO RANT, RAVE, BOYCOTT AND COMPLAIN!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! IF I FIND EITHER SONIC BOOM GAME ON ANY SHELVES IN THE STORES, WITH SONIC'S ARMS STILL BLUE, I WILL BE GOING SOO FUCKING CRAZY TO PREVENT EVERYONE FROM SEEING THE BLUE ARM MONSTROSITY!!!

DO YOU HEAR ME, SEGA?! I WOULD TOTALLY BOYCOTT A N CHANNEL AND ENCOURAGE EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THAT AS WELL!!!

WISE UP NOW AND RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM NOW, and maybe I would close the group and the petition and give y'all my money as well.

AND THIS IS MORE THAN JUST SOFTWARE UPDATES!!! YOU RECALL ALL OF THE WIIU AND 3DS GAMES, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE GAME INSERTS, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE INITIAL SOFTWARE DISCS AND CARTRIDGES, PRE-UPDATE!!!

AND PULL THE CARTOON AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE N SHOW!

AND RECALL ALL OF THE SONIC PLUSHES AND FIGURES FROM THE STORES, AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AS WELL!!!

DO IT ALL NOW, OR THERE WILL BE SERIOUS SENSORY DAMAGE AND THEN SOME HELL TO PAY!!! }}

===The Forces of [[CWCville]] Besiege GameStop===
{{Main|26 December 2014}}

On 26 December, Chris broke several laws by entering a [[GameStop]] from which he had been banned, vandalizing a Sonic Boom display, and ''macing an employee'' who was calling security as Chris left the store. All of this was recorded by a presumably bewildered bystander, and was uploaded to Tumblr the next day. Within two days of his attack, Chris was incarcerated in Albemarle Regional Jail, then released on a $2,500 bail, with a hearing scheduled for early [[2015]].

===Sonic Boom for Christmas===
Phone chat log:
{{quotebox|26 December 2014

[MALE VOICE]: It's the uhh-the uhh- Sonic Boom game. [hand game to Chris]

CHRIS: Ok, I'll take it as a gift, thank you.

[MALE VOICE]: No problem man. I hope you enjoy it.

CHRIS: I'm hoping that they come out with an update where they change his arm color back.

[MALE VOICE]: Why-Why would they change his arm color?

CHRIS: Well, didn't you notice on the cover they did, it's. . . . . . .well, you look on his left arm. . . . .it's blue there.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. So he has blue arms?

CHRIS: Yeah. I really hate that change.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. What for?

CHRIS: Ehh. Just. . . . .too much. Just too drastic. It's like Michael Jackson changing his skin color.

[MALE VOICE]: Have, have you asked them, sent them any feedback, asked them to change it. . .

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah I did, when I first saw the TV trailer, the TV show trailer right before E3. They just pretty much swept me under the rug and blocked me from their facebook.

[MALE VOICE]: Why would they do that?

CHRIS: Well, they did. And also, I've been repetitive, like, "Sonic's arms are not freakin' blue". And. . . .yeah, I have threatened them like, you know, if you don't change his arms back. . . . .

[MALE VOICE]: What did you say? What did you threaten them with?

CHRIS: Life threats. Like you know, I took a- I had bought a plush of the new sonic with the blue arms, and I covered his new arms with flesh colored Crayola Model Magic, and I like took a couple of photographs of me holdin' it, and I'm like pulling his arms off, and I said, you better do it, or I will, parentheses, not, tear his arms off.

[MALE VOICE]: So you made life threats against Sega then?

CHRIS: Well, ehh, not in the direct sense.

[MALE VOICE]: You mean that you threatened to kill them?

CHRIS: No.

[MALE VOICE]: No? Well, I mean, you said life threats, so. . . . . . . .it sounds like you're really passionate about it.

CHRIS: Yes I am.

[MALE VOICE]: Well, I mean, Sonic, his arms were uhh, flesh colored before that, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: So, I mean, can't you just ignore the blue armed Sonic?

CHRIS: I can- I can- it's just too much. Every time I look at the blue arms, even in anything related to the games which they show on cartoon network, I see the blue arms, I go into sensory overload and get really, really,
more pissed off.

[MALE VOICE]: Yeah. Chris, when these cyberbullies first started attacking you, and stuff like that, you got pissed off then, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: . . . and it ended up being a bad thing when you reacted, right?

CHRIS: Yeah, but except, I'm not reacting to a troll attack, I'm reacting to something which has been done. Like a, like a, presidential decision that has gone really wrong. Like, let's say Obama's. . . . .life-care thing?

[MALE VOICE]: Obamacare. The health-care thing. So you're anti-Obamacare then?

CHRIS: Well, uhh, I'm not one hundred percent, I have heard about uhh, hmmmm, uhh, I don't remember exactly-but-or how to phrase it, but I have the gist of it.
}}

===Chris (Still) Blames Everyone Else for His Problems(Wait, Did We Say Still? We Meant Always)===
{{quotebox|5 [[January 2015]]
I have been on the move, with the heavy listings and transport back to my original house, and still sorting, organizing and all. I also have been at a Lack of WiFi and Internet access since last Wednesday. The only internet I have at home here is on the 3G on my phone.

I have been very busy and very stressed. And should anyone give me a difficult time during my outings resulting in turning my day bad with the verbal attacks and threats to my person, I Will Defend Myself, and only retaliate when absolutely necessary. I Would even spray myself.

I Sincerely Wish people would positively Like me, yet I am unable to change their minds. And if I Have to defend myself to get any respect as an individual person, then it is THEIR Fault for frightening me into that defensive stance.

‪#‎SEGA‬ will definitely hear of the Earlier Incident as well.
}}

===Green Irises Are Better Than Blarms===
{{quotebox|6 January 2015

Anyhow, someone SHOULD definitely send word to SEGA of America and Japan of my recent misfortunes resulting from the seed event of Sonic's Arm Colour being changed. Had they Not changed the arm colour, No one would have attacked me they way He had, followed by the warning spray of the pepper from my own fears and paranoia in self-defense. And I would have no reason to Protest the way I have.
This series of incidents definitely tops what's-his-name's whatever-he-did when they gave Sonic Green Irises for his eyes. THE green irises were an improvement; the Blue Arms are just Painful and Horrific.
}}

===Sega Forced Chris to Attack===
{{quotebox|8 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-8-chris-hates-sega-for-forcing-him-to-attack-somebody.6979/]

}}

===Boycott the Yarms===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-10-15-sonichus-arms-are-not-yellow.7009/]

}}

===The Seed Event===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!

}}

===Chris Rages On===
{{quotebox|12 January 2015

Off my rocker?! How Dare She? My Protest was Sound, Valid and Meant to be Good. And she completely ignores that on the day I had to defend myself from that Ass Manager, HE VERBALLY ATTACKED AND OFFENDED ME. And I had no idea of what other pains and stresses He was capable of doing, and I did not want him following me either. You All Do Not Understand my Fragile Mind, nor do Any of You All have Any Caring Nor Understanding to Leave a mentally scarred, damaged and flawed individual like me Be and At Personal Peace of Mind. BUT HELL NO! YOU ALL KEEP ON STRESSING ME MORE AND CAUSING PLEASANT DAYS GONE BAD ON ME. Especially MOST OF EVERY LAST MALE IN THIS WORLD; All of you are nothing but immature, borish, uncouth, and damned Neanderthals. It is no wonder why a lot of Women detest the lot of you, and why I am Most Disgusted and Ashamed to have been forced to be born a damned member of your Male Gender. Hmpf!
}}

===Chris Gives Up and Continues On at the Same Time===
{{quotebox|13 January 2015

This is in response to the post below this one about the so-called list of my purchased Nintendo software. Direct to the point: I have sincerely NEVER purchased either Sonic Boom game. The 3DS game, however, was actually Hand Given to me as a Gift from my ex-girlfriend, Catherine's Cousin, Al, after out bowling outing in Early December, 2014; Last Month.
I have registered the 3DS card through my [[Club Nintendo]] account, and explicitly told them in the survey that game Was Gifted to me; I Had Not Purchased it, period. And I Had shortly after received a copy of the Wii U Game In the Mail. I had disposed of the envelope, because there was no return address. I Would have registered that as well, but there as NO Club Nintendo code enclosed. I have Never booted or played either game, and I certainly never have inserted either card or disc into any of my handhelds or consoles at all ever. And to spare having it quoted in the comments below this point, or in any future comments and posts in this group or on my page: Being Gifted the thing you are protesting against against your initial will, regardless of acceptance out of being polite or whatever, it does NOT Change my position or aynthing integral of the Protest that I Have personally started and still am working towards the cause, period.

SEGA!!! CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! YOUR BLUE ARMS HAVE HURT NOT ONLY ME IN A NUMBER OF GREAT WAYS, BUT COUNTLESS OTHER PEOPLE (GREATER THAN A THOUSAND INDIVIDUALS) AS WELL!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR LACK OF RECALL AND CORRECTIONS!!!}}

Here, Chris is referencing this[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-01-13-nintendo-employee-reveals-details-of-chriss-nintendo-transactions.7042/] Cwcki Forums article; apparently he lurks the forums frequently.

===Something Important===
{{quotebox|15 January 2015
I have something important to share of importance. After the incident on the 26th, on the court date on the 29th, the judge had documented that neither I, nor Any local GameStop stores or employees, come near or contact each other. I Have not contacted or visited any of them, but the day after on the 30th, One of them called My Cell Phone, TWICE, on the 30th, the day after that court date. I have Not listened to either of their messages; I had marked both of them "As Read". They both were just automatically removed from my voicemail list. But I screen capped the details from my phone a few days ago. I've had the numbers of the four GameStops, for any inquiries I had to make in the past.

Anyhow, They have violated the Court Rules there.

}}

===Kengle the Troll===
{{quotebox|19 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-19-kengle-trolls-chris-with-blue-arms-purchase.7218/]
}}

===You Dropped a Glitterbomb on Me, Baby===
[[File:GlitterbombNotice.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's hatred for something so minor becomes greatly unhealthy.]]
On 30 January 2015, a document was leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]], revealing that Chris has taken one step above macing employees and is ''threatening to glitterbomb'' Sega's American headquarters. Initially thought to be work done by weens, forum member Marvin eventually stood up and confirmed this actually as Chris's doing. The letter reads:

{{quotebox|SEGA of America Inc. 350 Rhode Island St, Suite 400 San Francisco, CA 94103
'''For Every Week Sonic the Hedgehog's arms remain blue in the "Sonic Boom" Video Games AND TV Cartoon Show, and that you all at SEGA continue to NOT Public Announce your apology for the change as well as RECALLING Everything of this Sonic Boom to change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately on Television, Newsprint and Internet Posts and Videos, you all will receive a sparkling mess. And to stop this glittery combination from coming in, you WILL Change Sonic the Hedgehogs Arm Colour back immediately in EVERYTHING Sonic Boom, including PULLING the cartoon from Cartoon Network to change the arm colour back in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the show.'''

'''Thank you.'''}}

The document reveals that Chris refuses to stop committing acts of battery unless a multimedia company gives in to a 30-year-old manchild's threats. It also shows his complete lack of knowing what glitterbombing actually ''is''. To glitterbomb someone is to dump or throw glitter on your opponent in public (such as [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7uZ4q-7y2M when some guy with a box of Cheez-Its came up to Newt Gingrich and dumped glitter on him]), ''not'' sending envelopes with glitter inside. To send envelopes with glitter inside is simply known as "[http://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/ shipping enemies glitter]".

===Weighing In on the Protests===
{{quotebox|2 Febuary 2015
Hey [REDACTED],
I saw that video and absolutely agree 100% that Chris was unjustified in his actions. I would have supported the employee whipping his ass to be honest. I think Chris needs to go to jail, he has never been held accountable for his actions. Destruction of property, assault, etc are serious stuff. He needs counseling and professional services that I think without incarceration he will never receive.
I'm glad that the Cwiki is no longer what it was in its incarnation, he was using it as an excuse for his behavior, and now can't use it as a fallback on to his issues.
I really have little defense for Christian for what hes been doing, but I hope he can come out a better person.
}}

===Chris's Ego Butts In!===
After hearing about Sega downsizing to focus on PC and Mobile games, Chris [[Chris and reality|thought]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he had a hand in it through his boycott]]:
{{quotebox|2 February 2015
Regardless of SEGA downsizing, Which I feel our boycotting has brought into play, we Have made SEGA take notice of their Mistake in changing Sonic's Arm Color among this term of events. And THEY still CAN create and distribute Downloadable Update Data for BOTH Sonic Boom Games to change his Arm Color Back at the very least.}}

===Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice===
After the sequel to the first ''Sonic Boom'' game was announced, Chris immediately showed his disapproval on Facebook. He even threatened [[Best Buy]] to not sell the game unless they change Sonic's arm color back, and still firmly believes that Sega was the one who got him thrown briefly into prison. He then claimed that he will beat up Sega producers [[Omar Woodley]] and Stephen Froat because of the blue arms.

{{quotebox|9 [[June 2015]]
Hell no!!! Still with the blue arms?!!! Ugh! SEGA, Does my Protest and Jail Time And Court Trouble Result NOT Resonate with you at all? Don't Y'all EVER FREAKING LISTEN AND LEARN?!!!!}}

[[File:Omar woodley threat.jpeg|300px|thumb|right|His post before he edited in Stephen Froat.]]
{{quotebox|[[File:SonicBoomFireAndIce.jpg|thumb|225px|right|The picture he included with this post.]]9 June 2015
Bring to me, in person, the ones called Omar Woodley and Stephen Frost, So I can tell to their faces of my Plights and Troubles I Went and Had to Go Through, Because of the Sensory Overloading Horrific Arm Colour Change that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED. And then, let me Kick and Beat Them Up upon further refusal to change the arm Colour back to tan in Everything Sonic Boom!

Damn and F*** Olmar Woodley and Stephen Frost!!!}}

On the same day, Chris proceeded to post this:

{{quotebox|[[File:SonicNoArms (pic only).jpg|thumb|right|This waste of [[money]] resulted in Chris's [[white knights]] refusing to help him.]]
9 June 2015
I protested peacefully and bold; I get banned from the local Four GameStops, and rebanned from Fashion SquareI ended up in jail for a weekend, along with court troubles; someone got a mild amount of pepper spray.

Time healed me some and I was recovering and doing better. Now, ANOTHER BLUE ARMED GAME IS BEING MADE?!!!

‪#‎SEGA‬ has ruined a peaceful, pleasant life for me again. It is Payback Time!

‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎FixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA‬}}

===Give Me 10 Good Reasons, I Need to Know===
{{quotebox|12 June 2015
If SEGA can give me Ten valid Reasons (with at lease One Good Reason) to justify the arm colour change (no less), NOT counting to "Modernize" Sonic or to make Sonic "appealing to the younger generations", I may reconsider.}}

===The End?===
{{quotebox|2 October 2015
This is the Final Update for this Protest Group.

Regardless of circumstances and bad outcomes/tidings, it is confirmed that Sonic's arms Will be back to their original colour in the next Sonic Game: Sonic & Mario at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

After this visual confirmation, I have found solace and satisfaction for the ending result.

I wish to thank every person who Actually helped in the protest against the blue arms in the Sonic Boom games, cartoon and all of that.

We have found success in our protest. It is good.}}

==References==
<references/>

{{facebook}}

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

2014

2016-06-20T01:56:05Z

Sirbogan:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|It's been a fair year. Thanks for being a part of it.|Chris, only 4 days before [[26 December 2014|it]] happens.}}
{{quote|Starts the year by burning his own house down, ends the year by going to jail for assault. Bravo, Chris.|A forum poster summing up this year.}}
[[File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|thumb|Chris in [[July 2014]].]]

'''2014''' was the sixth year of organized trolling since [[Chris]]'s discovery. Like [[2011|the]] [[2012|three]] [[2013|years]] before it, it appeared as if it would have started off with nothing of note, save for the occasional rambling on his [[Facebook]] account...until it was revealed on 11 January that the Chandler household caught fire. Similar to incidents involving his [[28 October 2011|past arrest]] and the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], this was a major dilemma facing his family, and some speculated that these big changes in his life would bring about big changes in Chris himself. Chris did undergo some changes, but they were mostly either irrelevant or just further steps towards complete insanity, culminating in his arrest for assault a mere five days before the end of the year.

Following the fire, Chris began to sell some of his stuff for money, such as his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]]. This is notable as, for a change, Chris is actually earning some of his money instead of purely relying on his [[monthly tugboat]], something which was not seen since his days at [[Wendy's]].
Though many problems have more or less sorted themselves out in the past year, this year did continue the fallout from 2013. In August, Chris augmented his tomgirlish ways and came out as a "Lesbian-Identified Male", and began attending LGBT events around Charlottesville (likely against the wishes of other attendees). He also revealed he found himself [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|a new]] [[Catherine|girlfriend]], which after a series of obstacles was later confirmed to be a troll.

Around the release of the new [[Sonic]] game, ''Sonic Boom'', Chris became consumed by a vehement desire to denounce the game, encouraging others to boycott it and even defacing in-store copies of the game. Chris's cited reason for this behavior is, in true CWC fashion, because of an extremely minor design element present only on this non-canon part of the franchise: Sonic's arms are blue, instead of tan.

On the bright side, however, at the end of the year, Chris announced that 14 Branchland Court was finally repaired, and would be moving back in [[2015]]. Unfortunately, Chris saw fit to fuck that up (as well as any sympathy the trolls were starting to have for him) - he was recorded assaulting an innocent GameStop employee with pepper spray, an action that landed him in jail, awaiting trial on the 29th, literally 2 days before the end of the year. While Chris managed to post bail and at least enjoy some degree of freedom for the new year, the damage was already done. On [[October 2015]], he narrowly escaped jailtime, only getting a fine and a six month suspended sentence, during which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] thankfully didn't fuck up and get arrested again.

==January==
[[File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg|thumb|240px|[[14 Branchland Court]], 1-2 days after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction]].]]
{{main|January 2014}}
This month began with little note, until [[Destruction Of Chris's House‎|Chris's house caught fire]]. The rest of the month was mostly spent on recovering.

==February==
{{main|February 2014}}
Chris turns 32. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

==March==
{{main|March 2014}}
Some [[Misc E-mails|e-mails]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], one of them provides interesting info about Chris's days at [[Manchester High School]], involving him getting bullied on a daily basis, although Chris didn't seem to qualify most of it as bullying. Chris was also rumored to be shoplifting at Best Buy, which Chris fervently denied on Facebook.

==April==
{{main|April 2014}}
[[File:April 2014 Target sighting.jpg|thumb|April sighting in Target.]]
Pictures of Chris's house and info about the [[Rental House]] are leaked. Chris is spotted at a local [[Target]] by a Reddit user.

==May==
{{main|May 2014}}
Chris lists some old airplane models and a violin on [[eBay]] (at vastly overestimated prices). He begs for [[Lego]] on Facebook, and confirms that [[Simonla_Rosechu#Resurrection|Simonla has been resurrected]].

==June==
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|left|thumb|Chris in June 2014.]]
{{main|June 2014}}
Chris tried to sell a painting on [[eBay]], but was suspended. He then tried again, and was suspended again. Meanwhile, a troll snuck into [[14 Branchland Court]] and recovered [[Manchester High Leaks|some documents]] which feature samples of his academic work, and show that he received [[Honor roll|very poor marks]] in many areas.

==July==
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in July.]]
{{main|July 2014}}
Chris sold [[autographed photos]] of himself on eBay. Also, his latest [[OkCupid]] profile was found by a [[CWCki Forums|forum]] user.

11 July was last day of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s two-year-long probation, her sentence from the trial for the events of [[28 October 2011]].

==August==
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|180px|"Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny" in August.]]
{{main|August 2014}}
Chris came out on Facebook as a "Lesbian Identified Male" and self-described "Intersex" "Cross-Dressing Tranny". He also expressed solidarity with the movement for LGBT equality, although he was very unhappy about having to include [[Homos|gay males]]. He also revealed he had a new girlfriend.

==September==
[[File:Chris chan sep14.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in September.]]
{{main|September 2014}}

Chris sold tons of stuff on eBay, and obtained materials to make more [[medallion]]s and mass-produces them.

==October==
{{main|October 2014}}
[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in October.]]
This month is notable in that it marked a significant resurgence in video-making, as well as more possibilities about his [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|anonymous galpal]], his growing (professed) support for LGBT activism, and his ongoing hatred for eBay (especially after the [[To Mr. Smith|Mr. Smith fiasco]]) and ''Sonic Boom''.

==November==
{{main|November 2014}}
Chris spent this month mostly raging over the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Boom'' game, before he embarrassed himself silly while [[Brushfire Video|raging over a small brushfire]] occurring near his house, and accidentally doxxed himself yet again. This time, however, the trolls did not take advantage of this doxxing. His Facebook friends then helped him make a new version of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], which lasts for just 10 days prior to being shut down due to 404 errors, DDoS attacks from [[ween]]s, and complaints over its name--"[[Aspergers|Sperg]]web". Then, it ended on a particularly depressing note for him, as he was quickly booted off his [[Keep Sonic Original]] group for making graphic [[death threats]] to Sega, and it was revealed that his [[Catherine|new girlfriend]] was in fact a troll.

==December==
{{main|December 2014}}
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in December.]]
Chris started the month off on a low note--primarily consisting of his irrational [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] on [[Facebook]]--until on [[26 December 2014|26 December]], when Chris was arrested for [[List of places that have banned Chris|trespassing]] and [[Chris and the law|assaulting an employee]] at a local [[GameStop]]. After being held in [[Jerkops|Albemarle Regional Jail]] for three days, Chris was released on bail to await his trial on the 5th of [[February 2015]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

For Julie's Eyes Only

2016-06-19T00:21:39Z

Sirbogan:

{{honest}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|right|JULAY!]]</div>

<br>
[[Image:Blowupdoll.gif|center]]

{{protip|"JULLLAAAY" is an ancient meme. Only faggots comment on Chris related videos with any variant of "JULLAAAAAAAY". Even bigger faggots are people who think it's funny to PM and/or e-mail Chris with "JULLLAAAAAAAAAY." The biggest faggots are those who think it's funny to call Chris's house and scream "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAY".}}

On 20 [[February 2009]], one of the closest things [[Christian Weston Chandler]] will ever have to a sex tape was leaked to the Internet. The video file '''For Julies Eyes Only.MP4''' consists of nearly eight minutes of Chris, completely nude except for his socks, making love to [[Kimmi|an inflatable sex doll]]. The sex tape was soon uploaded to SlutLoad where it has received over 3.2 million views.

On 31 [[May 2016]] it has been proven that Chris [[IMG 3207|still hasn't learned from his mistake.]]

==Summary==
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!! |Chris while humping Kimmi.}}
{{quote|You take that like a good, bad girl!|Also while humping Kimmi.}}
{{quote|I'm ready to cum!!|Again, while humping Kimmi.}}

'''0:00-0:05''' [''Chris sits cross-legged on his bed, holding Kimmi up as though it were a naked girl standing before him, says "Hey, Julie," and glances at her.'']

'''0:06-0:10''' [''He lies back as he pulls the doll into position over his [[duck]].''] "I love you, Julie..."

'''0:11-0:28''' [''He grips the doll, possibly trying to finger its asshole. He seems confused as to how to effectively copulate with this device.'']

'''0:29-0:44''' [''Our hero abandons all pretense and bends the doll at an unnatural angle (with its upper body pointed straight up and its legs pointed straight out behind it), grapevining its legs with his own and pounding it diligently. Its asshole is spread wide in full view of the camera.'']

'''0:45-0:48''' In a satisfied tone, he sighs "Mmm... Julie..." A moment later, sounding surprised by her passion, he exclaims "''Julieee!''"

'''0:49-1:25''' [''Quiet, uneventful thrusting. Chris seems to have a determined look on his face, as though he is focused on servicing his vinyl lover.'']

'''1:26-1:32''' [''A loud snap can be heard, which seems to catch Chris's attention. He lifts the doll up and examines his crotch, then reaches over to pause the recording. In an email, he tells Julie that his condom had broke so he had to put on another one.']

'''1:33-1:52''' [''Chris resumes filming and humping.'']

'''1:53-2:06''' [''He shifts to a sort of scissor position, with Kimmi "straddling" his right thigh. Chris keeps one hand planted on its "breast".'']

'''2:07-2:08''' "Mmm... Julie! Julieeee!"

'''2:09-2:28''' [''More scissoring.'']

'''2:28-2:31''' "Yesss, Julie... Julie! Mmmm..."

'''2:32-2:49''' [''Chris briefly tries to stick several fingers into Kimmi's ass before rolling over onto his side. His ass is now in full view as it thrusts and quivers against the love doll.'']

'''2:50-2:51''' "You like that, don't you, Julie?"

'''2:52-3:13''' [''More ass-thrusting.'']

'''3:14-3:20''' "Come on, Julie... [unintelligible] take that cock... Mmm, Julie!"

'''3:21-3:39''' [''Chris picks up speed...'']

'''3:40-3:43''' [''Chris puts his right leg over the doll and continues thrusting.'']

'''3:44-3:47''' "Oh, Julie... Julie!"

'''3:47-4:05''' [''More thrusting.'']

'''4:06-4:08''' [''Two loud snaps can be heard as Chris takes his leg off the doll.'']

'''4:25-4:30''' [''Chris now sits on the bed and open his legs, putting the blow-up doll over his body. The scene cuts.'']

'''4:31-4:40''' [''Filming resumes. Chris is seated cross-legged in the bed, much like the first scene. He proceeds to hump the doll.'']

'''4:41-4:50''' [''Chris opens his legs and humps some more.''] "Julie... Yes, Julie... You take that like a good—BAD girl!"

'''5:00-5:21''' [''Chris now is humping the doll quickly. His face is extremely red.'']

'''5:22-5:23''' "Hnmm..."

'''5:24-5:25''' [''Chris cuts the film and resumes the same scene, still humping the doll while seated.'']

'''5:33-5:44''' [''Chris now starts to hump the doll on his knees.'']

'''5:45-5:53''' [''Chris now straddles the doll face-down, thrusting like a rabbit.'']

'''5:54-6:04''' [''Chris holds the doll's boobies and starts to "ride" Kimmi.'']

'''6:05-6:09''' "Oh, Julie...JULAAAAAY, JULAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"

'''6:23-6:40''' "Ju— Yeah... Julie! Julie! Hnmph...hnm... Hnmph...uhh...uhh...uh..."

'''6:47-7:09''' "Hnm, ah, yeah, JULIE! I'm— ah, I'm ready to CUUUM!!! JULIE! JULAY! JULAY! JULIEEE! Julie... HNMPH!" [''More moaning.'']

'''7:10-7:24''' "AAAAUUUUGHHHHAAAHNNN!!!" [''More moaning.'']

'''7:25-7:40''' [''Chris suffocates the doll with his weight by lying over her. He thrusts a couple of times and turns off the camera.''] "Julie, thank you."

==Postcards==
[[Image:Postcard_from_Ebaums.jpg|thumb|Greetings to the Chandler family!]]
Postcards were sent direct to [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] by an anonymous troll in early March. His family's reaction is unknown, except that his [[PSEye]] was briefly taken away.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = What Happens When Chris Chan Gets His Blow Up Doll
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ifpYhCUktR4}}
| stardate = 23 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ5-dbGXiD7i4uAOeTD0Vkg John Segway]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| type =
| info = What has sceience done.}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[A-Log]] Watches A Man Fuck A Blow-Up Doll
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hnkxUcn-2Gc}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2012]]
| maker = [[Anthony LoGatto]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Smug|[[Narcissism]]}}, {{Violence|[[Death Threats]]}}
| type = "Commentary"
| info = Warning: this video is painful.}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = JULAAAY: A-Log Edition
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-Ve-lcD5TT4}}
| stardate = 19 [[July 2012]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEfTnwTUTjRIuC5MQk9AsnA The A-Log Archive]
| info = For [[/cwc/]]
|}}

==See also==
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
* [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
*[[IMG 3207]] - Chris' second "attempt" at a sex tape.

==External links==
* [http://www.slutload.com/video/chrischans-sex-tape/XDjg4KnvdT9o/ Watch it online]
* [http://eye.swfchan.com/flash.asp?id=52656&n=JULAY.swf JULAY + TIMMEH!]
* [http://sonichumart.com/vids/2009-02-20+For_Julie%27s_Eyes_Only.MP4 Download the full video here!]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 18 February 2009]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 4 March 2009]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, February 2009| 2009-02-20]]
[[Category: Julie saga videos| 2009-02-20]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-02-20]]

Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE

2016-05-12T23:14:38Z

Sirbogan:

'''Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE''' (also known as '''CWC's Important Message 02242007''' and '''Chris Chan's IMPORTANT MESSAGE''') is a video created on 24 [[February 2007]] and uploaded to his [[YouTube]] channel on 4 [[November 2007]]. In celebration of his milestone [[Chris's_birthday#25th|25th birthday]], [[Chris]] delivers his manifesto and summarizes the lessons he has "learned" in his life and how they should be applied by future generations of "Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages, as well as the, uh gals."

This video proves that Chris is able to withstand direct sunlight for a considerable time before the inevitable mutation into his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|Vest-Man form]]. Compared to his current habits, Chris appears more confident, stutters less (though this is probably because he is reading from a script), and was less of a [[Obesity|fattie]] in 2007.

__TOC__

==Intended audience==
As outlined in the video, Chris wanted it to be shown in local schools. To date it hasn't, possibly because the FBI would describe it as [[wikipedia:Child grooming|child grooming]] (note that Chris refers to [[wikipedia:Alfred Kinsey|Dr. Kinsey]]). Chris also posted it online as a fan teaser to his shitty autobiographical [[DVD]], that he was never going to show them regardless. His disappointed fans responded to this ''Catch-22'' situation by [[troll]]ing him and getting their hands on the DVD anyway.

==Rundown==
The video covers a myriad of topics Chris knows nothing about, like:

*Why going to school, like waterboarding, is not torture.
*Why it is important to [[homos|STAY STRAIGHT]][[Chris and copyright|™]].
*How to attract a [[sweetheart]].
*Boys should stroke the hair of a [[My Little Pony]] to understand girls.
*Girls should acquire [[Transformers]] to understand boys.
*Why every last ounce of "[[tobacky]]" should be sent to [[the Moon]].
*Why [[Alcohol|drinking]] is bad and leads to bar fights.
*Why anybody who disregards you is a "peanut."
*Why "straying from the straight path" will "jeopardize the entire world and the human race."
*For the love of God, STAY STRAIGHT!!!
*Girls should seriously consider the romantic advances of ugly, dumpy guys, "because they will likely have a [[List of Chris's lies|better personality]] [...] and they may end up having a [[26 December 2014|brighter]] [[28 October 2011|future]] for themselves."

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Iw9IybMbsI8}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2007]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Television|text}}, {{Other|[[Tobacky|Drugs]] [[Long Island Iced Tea|and]] [[Alcohol]]}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}, with jacket
| previous = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
| next = [[Soul_Calibur#Chris_vs_Mary_Lee_Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

{{quote|All Views Expressed in this video ARE THOSE TRUE AND SOLID OF MY SOUND MIND AND COMPLETE CONSCIENCE. Especially STAYING STRAIGHT!!!}}

=== Transcript ===
Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and [[Chris and English|dudes of all teenages]], as well as the, uh, gals. My name is Christian Chandler; I am ''here'', and y'all are there. [''chuckles''] This message is for everyone of the present and the future, beyond this date: February 24th, [[2007]]th. My birthday. My 25th birthday. [''holds up 2 fingers'']

I am [[high-functioning autistic]], and in my 25 years, I have seen and learned so much. And today, I am share--intend to share some wise words that I hope each and every one of you will take to heart and will offer yourself and everyone else a better, brighter future.

First off, remember that going to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] is [[Bruce Johnson|not a torture]]. It is a place of learning, a place for growing, a place where you form the spilling of your own opinions, your own feelings, and your own personality. So learn everything you are able to, and grow with it.

Now, you should also be able to try something for yourself, before forming praise or detest of it. As long as those things will not harm you, or shorten your lifetime in any way, it's totally cool.

What is totally NOT cool, though, is thinking or doing these things, which are very harmful to you, and definitely gr—will gross out those around you that don't do it, because I haven't done it and I don't like it—doing either of them. You should avoid ''at all costs'' [[tobacky|smoking]], drinking [[alcohol]], and intaking any [[semen|similar icky dangerous stuff]]. And smoking will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get heart attacks, viruses, and your life will be cut ''drastically'' short. They don't call cigarettes and cigars "[[Star Wars|death sticks]]" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to [[the Moon]]. [''[[Desi]] walks to front of the house in the background''] And for, uh, alcohol, they'll cause, uh, liver dysfunction, kidney prob—kidney failures, and uh, not only that, but, when you get drunk enough, bar fights and [[28 October 2011|automobile accidents]]. So it's a real slow-acting poison. And I haven't done either one, and look at me now, I'm, uh... [''puffs out his chest as a truck passes by blasting AC/DC from the stereo''] [[Chris and health|fit as a fiddle]], and I'm livin' twenty-five, hopin' to live on to be about eighty to a hundred. And y'all—hopefully, y'all will get a chance to get up to that ripe old age, as well.

Now, among the better things you should definitely try before despising, is some of the hobbies of those of your own—opposite gender. Like, uh, for example, if you are a young gentleman, I recommend buying yourself a [[My Little Pony]] figure of your favorite color or whatever. Now, uh, stroking the hair of said pony is very relaxing and therapeutic, and also rubbing it against your cheek. That's... nice. And also, uh, you can pretend that, uh, the pony is, uh, that girl you want to take you wanna take out to—you wanna take out sometime, and talk to the pony like you would talk to the girl.

Now for the, uh, ladies I would recommend... a good old Autobot from [[Transformers]]. Because you can get to learn how to examine the mechanics... and variations of... each and every... I mean, of the, uh, Autobot you have... like, uh, you would tr—like you would learn how... [[Duck|a man]]... works. And it'll allow you to feel more comfortable in approaching, and talking to, that boy you've been flirtin' from a distance, or, uh, just have been, uh, flirting with from a distance. And, uh, hopefully, uh, all you have to do is just end up and say "hello". I mean, it's not so hard. All you have to do is say "hello" to the man, ladies; that's all. And everything will just get going from there. And also, uh, with the, uh, Autobot, while it's in vehicle mode you can pret—drive down that imaginary fast lane.

But any—in any case, uh, while few people may ridicule you, you should not worry about it, because most everybody will be o—totally okay with it, because it won't matter. It won't matter, because... [''completely loses his place''] ...they see you enjoyin' it, and it's totally cool, if you're enjoying it. So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total peanuts. And I'm not talkin' Charlie Brown; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it?

Also keep in mind that, while you're playin' with these things, [[Tomgirl Pictures|you should keep in mind of what your true, original gender is]]. Because, uh, it's like you worry about that girl you want to take on a date—YOUNG MAN!—or, uh, likewise, you feel more comfortable to approach that boy—by just saying "hello"—that you've been checkin' out from a distance—YOUNG LADY!—and hopefully in due time or now, each and every one of you will stay straight. You know, girl for boy, boy for girl? Everything else is vice, as said by [[Homos|Doctor Kinsey]]. Not just for me, not for [[Chris and religion|The Big Man Upstairs]], not for your family, but do it for, uh, yourself, and for—and for the benefits of everyone in the future: your children, your children's children... And, besides, if you stray away from the straight path, it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race.

Also, girls and ladies, don't just go over gaga, over the handsome rich boys... and men... because they may turn out to be disrespectful and distasteful in their personality. You should take into consideration all the other gentlemen that you may have considered, that may be ''less'' attractive, or equally—less or moderately. Because those will—because they will likely have a better personality that you will—that you will generally enjoy and like, and they may end up having a brighter future for themselves. Like, look at me now—I'm shootin' this movie for a DVD... that's gon—that I hope will be shown in a couple of schools, at least.

Now, uh, also, uh... also, when you—when each and every one of you has a true general understanding of the, uh, opposite gender, and after that—finding that special [[Tomgirl Pictures|MAN—LADIES!]]—or that special GIRL—GENTLEMEN!—always keep the... heart and memories of times that you two felt most attracted to each other, because that will be a key point to recovering from any disputes or arguments that you two might have in the future. Otherwise, so you two will just be darn happy with each other. But it's not all always gonna be peaches and cream or strawberry shortcakes. [[stress sigh|[''Chris sighs'']]] And also remember, you two should KEEP each other, because there will be nobody else—no matter how much you think about it—nobody else that can replace that special someone—him for her or... her for him—there's just nobody else...there's no substitute for that [[Virgin with rage|first one.]]

And now, I leave you with the lessons that you should have—I hope you have learned from my message. You should all—you should stay in school, learn as you much. And try before you praise and despise. Never smoke! Never drink! Never worry about how others think of you when you do things... or... when you play with things that may not s—that may not seem like you—or whatever. Don't be afraid to approach those of your opposite gender. And MOST IMPORTANTLY! PLEASE... STAY STRAIGHT. I leave you with those words, as I have shared with you on this, my twenty-fifth birthday, February 24th, 2007. I am "Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler. Live long, and shine on, in your very own unique way. War is never the answer; peace is. Never fight. Compliments will get you [[A Warm Fuzzy Tale|fuzzy-wuzzies]]. War gets you prickly-wicklies... as well as punches. They get you those, too. Thank you very much, and have a wonderful day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pixelated PS3]]|nextlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|}}

{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-02-24]]

Chris and art

2016-05-07T23:55:10Z

Sirbogan:

{{quote|She theorizes it’s because I'm a creative genius.|[[Chris]], talking about his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>}}

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion.]]
[[File:Billy mays hand.png|thumb|Something's not right with this picture...]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, Chris's selling point. Ever since the very day [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] found out about Chris's creation of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular objective amongst [[troll]]s and [[ween]]s.

==Chris and the medium==
=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|left|Not bad for a grade-schooler.]]

Chris does not seem to consider his artistic skill in need of revision; he is always fully satisfied by the first attempt at a drawing he makes. Naturally, being an artist of that caliber, Chris takes it upon himself to criticize the art that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] send to him, and is quick to point out the myriad of "flaws" in each work.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#After Emily]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2]]</ref>

Chris has said he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In which Chris insults someone who drew a picture for him]]</ref> He does not seem to be aware of the fact that producing the kind of high-quality artwork that fans expect in a good comic strip is very labor-intensive and can easily take hours, sometimes days, even with professional software programs like Photoshop. He also doesn't seem to understand, or care, that any good artist will draw a scene multiple times before they publish it, especially if there are mistakes. In pretty much any episode of ''Sonichu'', you will be sure to find at least one mistake Chris has made that he refuses to redo and simply colors over. One good example is the scene from Chris and Ivy [[Giant Penis Comic|going to a hotel for hanky-panky]].<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg]]</ref> If you look at the scene, you can see multiple mistakes that any artist would have seen as a reason to redo the picture. Chris started to draw his balls (via tracing), but decided he didn't like the proportions that presented, so he decided to keep the start of the trace and just add some "speed lines". If you look at the picture of Ivy you will see that Chris messed up a bit around her face but decided that instead of redoing it, he'd just color over it. He also messed up a bit on her right breast; he drew one too small and decided to make it bigger, by just adding another curved line.

At times, he would expand ''Sonichu'' stories in summary form on [[CWCipedia]], a medium better equipped to keep up with his racing, easily distracted imagination. Everything he says or writes, he considers to be a part of his comic's continuity partly because it is easier to record these euphoric and fleeting bouts of inspiration as they occur rather than days, weeks, months, or even years later in comic form.

===Comic writing and structure===
{{main|Chris and writing}}

Chris does no preparatory writing or preliminary revision; his narrative is wholly improvised and shifts regularly. He cannot write clear, succinct dialogue, and he has little regard for visual clarity. He doesn't understand how comics are supposed to work as a narrative through sequential images, and instead presents the comic more like a storyboard for a hypothetical television series.

===Choices of materials and technology===
[[File:Marker Section.jpg|thumb|Crayola is the official art supplier for the ''Sonichu'' franchise, whether they like it or not.]]

Chris believes that his so-called "hand-drawn style" is superior to art produced by any other means. This is due to Chris's hatred to change what he has already learned and his belief, as a consequence of his [[ego]], that his method is the best by virtue of being his.

Obviously, Chris's skill cannot compensate for the poor materials he uses. He does his work a disservice by using tools that are the cheapest available: copy paper, Pentel RSVP ballpoint pens, and Crayola washable markers.<ref>[[Mumble 7#10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies|Mumble #7]]</ref> These happen to be the tools he has used since childhood.

Far from archival quality, his art has sometimes shown [[Wedding Comic|signs of wrinkling]] as soon as it has been finished. Chris has defended his practice of [[Chris and writing#Dialogue|rampant textwalling]] as a way to "save marker ink."<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

While Chris has claimed at various times to use [[Wikipedia:Adobe Photoshop|Adobe Photoshop]] to create his characters and edit his comics,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation Sonichu's Conception and Creation], archived from [[CWCipedia]].</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800]]</ref><ref>[[Chris's resume#Experience]]</ref> he has only ever been seen using [[Wikipedia:Adobe PhotoDeluxe|Adobe PhotoDeluxe]],<ref>The Adobe PhotoDeluxe name can be seen on the taskbar of Chris's computer at 0:13 in [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]].</ref><ref>Chris offered PhotoDeluxe advice to [[The Wallflower]] in [[Wallflower E-mails 2]].</ref> with which he created his [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|slanderous head-swap]] of [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s buddy Matt. This is in spite of the fact that PhotoDeluxe is intended for scanning and touching up photographs, and Photoshop (which Chris claims to own) would be better suited for the kind of general-purpose image editing and head-swapping that Chris does. In addition, PhotoDeluxe is a dinosaur of a program that hasn't been supported by Adobe since [[2002]]. Chris's claim in [[Mailbag 3]] that he uses "a past version" of Photoshop<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Art questions]]</ref> could imply that he is [[Slow-in-the-minds|confusing PhotoDeluxe for a part of the Photoshop line]], or that, if he really does use Photoshop, the revision he owns is just as woefully out-of-date as his ancient PhotoDeluxe program.

His font of choice is [[wikipedia:Comic Sans|Comic Sans]], a font almost universally condemned for being overused, childish and ugly.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref><ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref>

He also believes that using new technology creatively provides an unfair advantage in the service of inferior results. Repeatedly, he has called ''[[Asperchu]]'' "blocky and low resolution" because it was drawn with a tablet. In one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone calls to Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said his hand-drawn art had "more character" (never mind that tablet art is technically hand-drawn art anyway). He also thinks that his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|web page]] was awesome because it was made from "notepad scratch" (i.e., built with Windows Notepad instead of complex WYSIWYG tools like FrontPage); Chris forgets that while a lot of professional web designers also write raw HTML with text editors, they generally also have some eye for aesthetics.

===Drawing techniques===
[[Image:CChanDraws.jpg|thumb|Strange pen grips can be corrected with the assistance of school teachers. Chris slept through these lessons.]]

Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen. Give this a try and see how long it takes for you to get carpal tunnel.

While most artists will produce multiple sketch versions of a single drawing, often layered on top of one another, Chris's confidence in his innate artistic ability is such that his first step in a page of ''Sonichu'' is drawing the final line art in pen before coloring it in with Crayola markers. If he makes a mistake, he shrugs it off and continues. There is no post-processing beyond adding text to word balloons with MS Paint and PhotoDeluxe. Attempts to inform him that digital coloring is more efficient and far less expensive than wasting gallons of marker ink filling in monocolor backgrounds have failed.

===Visual style and anatomy===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]
{{Quote|sonichu had kind of a childish art style, which i guess was your point. [...]<br> i thought you meant it as an avant-garde thing, to make a statment<br>like, ironically bad|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>}}

Before the comics, Chris attempted realism for work in oil pastel, charcoal, and graphite, presumably for art classes in school. The results can be seen in the gallery below.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, full of techniques consistent with early efforts at drawing by small children. Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]] and manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his [[gal-pal]] at the time, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Like many amateur western artists, he copies only the surface elements of the anime style: big eyes, pentagonal heads, speed lines, emotions. These art elements were simply laid over his original "style" with no adjustment.

[[File:Greta.PNG|thumb|Ten fingers and thumbs, that's all that matters.]]

Chris makes no attempt to maintain consistency in character designs, and has no understanding of classical anatomy and proportion in figure drawing. His characters are drawn using simple shapes--colored-in outlines, without any shading, ''ever''--and even so, he is unable to keep the shapes consistent to any degree. For example, in the opening of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] tend to noticeably get deformed in different manner in each panel, despite the fact that they're drawn as just an oval for the head, a rectangle for the body, and smaller ovals for the arms and legs. In all characters, limbs morph, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely resembled the actual Chris. The character sizes are also inconsistent, which is strange considering most of the characters appear to be about the same size: in most drawings where Sonichu is carrying Rosechu, Rosechu seems to shrink. Finer details of human anatomy have long escaped him; because Chris never draws women with pronounced hips, the results tend to resemble children or men (such as with the character [[Lovely Weather]]), with unfortunate implications in either case.

[[Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|thumb|This car will either always veer left or never run at all.]]

Despite boasting that his "drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive[sic]"<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> due to his training in [[CADD]], Chris constantly fails at perspective, with objects implied to be far-away depicted too large. This is evident in his many [[Son-Chu|vehicle designs]], where the front is usually a direct frontal (90 degree) view, regardless of the view angle of other sides. This inability to demonstrate parallel lines renders the car distorted. The lack of any concept of shading only further destroys any semblance of perspective; legs that are implied to be bent forward at the knee only end up looking shorter.

Possibly the worst offender is Chris's constant omission of backgrounds. Most scenes happen only on the white backdrop of the paper. Apparently, readers are supposed to infer what the background looks like based on context, similar to some daily newspaper comic strips. Thus, simply drawing a wide-angle shot of the scenery as the first (usually transitional) panel in a scene would suffice. Combined with his inability to make a proper layout, many action scenes end up becoming a jumble of characters moving around without regards to sequence. The reason he does this is probably the same as the reason why he textwalls so often: to "save marker ink," meaning he's lazy. (Incidentally, the proper use of white space and the conservation of painted space is a key element in East Asian art, but despite his anime obsession he is unlikely to have heard of this.)

A related phenomenon is simply drawing characters as floating disembodied heads. The [[Magi-chan|deus ex machina/exposition machine]] is the biggest victim of this. Once again, Chris couldn't bother to draw a full body. Thus, combining all known forms of "marker ink conservation", some pages are just a bunch of floating heads speaking walls of text.

Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples, including images of couples in bed making love. Whether Chris bought it to better draw out his delusional fantasies or for more material to [[mass debate]] to isn't known. Either way, the book has taught him nothing.

=== Character design ===
{{Main|Chris and writing#Characterization}}

A large portion of the ''Sonichu'' cast is clearly derivative of existing characters. In addition to the obvious ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' recolors, Chris has lifted designs from any anime, video game, or even Western animation he is fond of, with no regard for visual consistency.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing, and Chris himself wears his usual [[clown shirt]]s and pants. With the sole exception of [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes.

Even when the source of Chris's plagiarism is readily apparent, these lifts can still add up to less than the sum of their parts. Inspired by the fusion characters of ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[God of War]]'', [[Collosal Chan]] looks more like a hobo than a fusion of Chris and Chris-Chan Sonichu. Though clearly his own effort to design baby [[Pokémon]], [[Sonee and Rosey]] look more unnerving than adorable.

While the designs themselves are shitty, Chris does get color coordination. Most of the color schemes he uses for his characters look decent. Being Chris, he still fails occasionally, like, on an unrelated note, the CWCipedia color scheme. Still, it's one of his few strong points, at least compared to the rest of his art style.

===Fan (dis)service===
[[File:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Insta-boner.]]

[[wikipedia:Fan service|Fan service]] is a term used to describe something that is meant to tease or please the audience. It can refer to any content seen as an effort to appease the desires of fans, but is used primarily, and in this section, to describe scenes of a sexually titillating nature.

Since his discovery by the Internet, Chris has inserted increasingly large amounts of fan service into the initially tame Sonichu in an effort to assert the heterosexuality of himself and his characters. The range of fan service in ''Sonichu'' includes panty shots, Rosechu's [[women's rights|stripping]], cameltoe indentations, and even a full [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|sex scene]] followed by four pages of text and diagrams describing Sonichu and Rosechu's sexual anatomy.

Due to his lack of artistic faculties, much of Chris's depictions of sexuality are highly unsettling to most readers. Any attempts to add "sexy" material come across as Chris's own wish-fulfillment or self-interest, rather than attempts by Chris to please his audience.

While the point of fan service is to hint at sexuality in an otherwise clean work meant for general audiences, ''Sonichu'''s sexual content hides nothing and disturbs many, despite the fact that Chris has always viewed ''Sonichu'' as a comic intended for children.

==Animation==
Most recently, Chris has taken up a new medium in the form of animation. Using the Nintendo DSi program ''[[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]]'', Chris has taken his drawing to a whole new level. Or at least could have. His drawing has degraded greatly when doing artwork here, mostly due to using the DS's stylus pen. When doing animations, his characters have very little fluid movement to them and they seem to [[jerk]] and wobble, as if they're characters from ''[[CWCFlyingElephants|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'' or ''[[Adult Swim|Home Movies]]''. The best one to tell of this is the [[Don'tGetTrolled!]] animation. You can tell which part was animated by Chris and which part was animated by the original author, 8-Bit, because Chris's artwork just wobbles in a distorted fashion.

== Chris and the industry ==
{{main|Chris and the industry}}
In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art is of professional quality, and expects to enter the comic and video game industries. His résumé states a desire to produce ''Sonichu'' comics under contract for Marvel Entertainment or Archie Comics. By all indications, this is an idle wish as Chris expects to be approached by these companies first. Chris has consistently shown little comprehension of, or interest in learning about, how the creative industries actually work.

==Originality==
When it comes to originality, Chris has absolutely [[Things Chris has ripped off|none]]. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism==
{{Main|Chris and copyright}}

''Sonichu'' is a fine blend of a wide variety of recognizable copyrighted elements. Just about any existing medium that Chris has ever expressed a fondness for appears in some capacity.

Chris has a long history of claiming all credit for fan characters initially acknowledged as being created by others and offered for use in Chris's comics. The first of these were [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]], and [[Layla]], but the most infamous instance, and the one that Chris defended the most fervently, was [[Simonla Rosechu]].

At the same time, Chris once had a policy of threatening nonexistent legal action against the creators of any ''Sonichu'' fan art he could find, and was worked into a [[12 January 2010|magnificent rage]] over the ''Sonichu''-derivative fan [[parody]] ''Asperchu''.

As well, Chris has gone so far as to take a video, the aforementioned Don'tGetTrolled!, and alter it to suit his needs. Now, granted, there were other videos done using that same video, but where they just altered the stick character or sped up the video in the same vein as a [[Random-access humor|YouTube Poop]], Chris completely and utterly altered the video to suit his needs so that a humorous song about [[trolling]] is turned into Chris's mouthpiece to destroy Freedom of Speech to make the Internet safer for him.

===Tracing===
'''Tracing''' is an art technique where another piece of art, in whole or part, is copied along its outlines. As a means of producing original art claimed as one's own, tracing is a form of plagiarism.

Images traced from existing copyrighted content appear regularly in ''Sonichu''. Chris traces with the Reflecta Sketch, a long-discontinued toy tracing kit produced by Spin Master. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline. This is why most traced images in ''Sonichu'' are mirror images of the original work. Due to their poor quality, consistent in appearance with ''Sonichu'' art that is not traced, these traced images often go unnoticed as tracing. The fact that Chris fails even at tracing is a surprise to no one.

Alternatively, Chris uses these images as references and simply tries to draw images free-hand based on them. This is no worse than directly tracing the outlines, but better explains why his results are so distorted in respect to their references. Chris probably uses a combination of both techniques (as some images look closer to their originals than others), showing utter lack of skill and originality either way.

===Traced images from the ''Sonichu'' Comic===
<center><gallery>
Image:Trace1.jpg
Image:Trace2.jpg
Image:Trace3.jpg
Image:Trace4.jpg
Image:Trace5.jpg
Image:Trace6.jpg
Image:Aquateenvssonichu.jpg
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg
Image:RClina.jpg
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg
Image:Prowl prower.jpg
Image:SOUNDAXE.JPG
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg
Image:Familyguytrace.png
Image:Cwct1.JPG
File:Rosey caesar.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Rule 34==
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|Chris's creations believe that his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
Chris has no shame, and neither does his artwork. Of his many sexually explicit drawings, the most damning one of all is [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]].

As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Cunt", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, making it appear to glow, or inhabit heavenly clouds.

It can be reasonably assumed that all of the images in this gallery are traced, and that those not paired plagiarized source material simply have yet to have their "inspirations" discovered.

=== Gallery of traced Rule 34 pictures ===
{{collapsible
|Incredibly horrific, NSFW, and contains robo-clits. This is your last chance to escape with your sanity.
|<gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery>}}

==Art gallery==
Seen below is a selection of Chris's public school art assignments, from a slideshow on Chris's homemade [[DVD]]. At his high school graduation, Chris expected to be "Highly Recognized" for his "ARTISTIC TALENT", represented in this body of work. When he was not, he cried.<ref>[[Manchester High School#Graduation]]</ref> This work was produced under the supervision of a professional art instructor and the incentive for Chris to give each piece more thought, care and attention than he now prefers to when creating only for his own satisfaction. Despite this, they're still terrible. Note that some readers may find several of these images inadvertently terrifying.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of Chris's Art
|<gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG|Defending the honor of [[Chris and health|junk food everywhere!]]
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG|Sculpted in such a way that it looks like a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|toilet]] at first blush.
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG|
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|Fox McCloud one month after crash-landing in the middle of Africa.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|This thing deserves its own page by now.
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG|The teacher quickly thought up something to keep Chris occupied for the rest of the lesson.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Coming soon from Franklin Mint...
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Ancient relic of the [[Cherokian Clan]].
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|It doesn't catch dreams. It ''stares into your soul''.
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG|Sad to say, it was originally Chris who came up with the "Long fish is loooooo
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG|oooooooooooong" meme.
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg|Scan of a print of a photograph of drawings. How very meta!
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|[[Autism]] is in Living Room. Autism is in Wife. Autism is in Children and - well - Autism is in Life.
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|A rare shot of Chris's largely forgotten Pokémons, Espanolic and Vegaton.
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG|Banjo, the champion of Christianity and bright colors.
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG|In the first lesson, the computer graphics teachers usually say something like "Don't go crazy with the effects, m'kay?" Chris never listens.
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg|A Magic Eye picture that reveals absolutely nothing. We tried.
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg|The teacher who traumatized Chris wasn't actually the principal - it was the art teacher, who forced Chris to make a drawing with prickly-wicklies.
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|Chris's masterpiece of originality, second only to the creation of Sonichu<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>: an ash tray that shoots tobacco straight to the Sun - powered by dark magic.
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg|Some [[Cherokian Clan|Ancient Cherokian]] [[Sex toys|anal beads]].
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|It's... off-center.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Sonic [[Yawning Squirtle|unfocuses]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's shield was eaten.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Following in Ed Gein's footsteps.
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG|We don't know ''what'' this is, but it has the letter C, so it's obviously Chris's.
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|A relaxing person who bears little resemblance to Chris.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|The same. Hilariously enough, [http://www.miketyndall.com/todd_goldman/ Todd Goldman] ripped off the "[[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|I just don't listen]]" things on the background. Everything is interconnected! [[Soul Calibur|Tracing and ignorance, fiercely entangled!]]
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG|[[My Little Pony|Proto-Cheroki-Chan.]]
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|A big golden turd.]]
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG|OH, GOD! What does this ''mean''?
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG|Art class pictures usually have some sort of central idea the teacher gave to the students. Chris is [[Autism|unable to communicate it to us.]]
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG|It's a passable drawing, so it's possible Chris didn't fail the class. But if it is a drawing of failure, did he also create his first time paradox here?
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|Chris approaches a wild Pikachu, aiming to bash its brains out with a rare pygmy Electrode.
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg|A clever idea. Probably his teacher's, though.
Image:488-100_0521.JPG|Something that looks like the shopping mall, but actually isn't.
Image:489-100_0522.JPG|"I wish I were in [[Inos|Jamacia]]" (sic). Deep-rooted wishes, I see.
Image:490-100_0523.JPG|Colorful arboreal antics.
Image:491-100 0524.JPG|Possibly "L" and "O". Could be a corruption of LOL.
Image:492-100 0525.JPG|Raichu, the Turbo Megazord, Sonic, Game Boy and Nintendo 64 controller.
Image:493-100 0526.JPG|See, he ''can'' draw a proportional drinking straw. [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] was ''deliberate''.
Image:494-100 0527.JPG|Indistinct shapes, possibly [[Crass and Champ|crabs]].
Image:495-100 0528.JPG|A collage of weird local imagery.
Image:496-100 0529.JPG|Daffodils, which, in Greek mythology, first came forth as a result of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. Also: Skeleton.
Image:497-100 0530.JPG|[[Christian's name change|The Bear]] keeps on truckin'.
Image:498-100 0531.JPG|[[fapcup|Jars]]. A proudly standing bottle and a tomato, casting nice round shadows.
Image:499-100 0532.JPG|Mysterious floating keyring.
Image:500-100 0533.JPG|Not sure what ''this'' is, but it looks a bit phallic.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|Chris's Ash Ketchum get-up.
Image:503-100 0537.JPG|Pikachu, Mew, what looks like Chris's personal Pokégear stuff, and an ad for [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
Image:504-100 0538.JPG|[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Shower]]???
Image:505-100 0539.JPG|A drawer full of what appears to be [[CWCFlyingElephants|socks]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
Image:506-100 0540.JPG|[[R.L. Stine]] books and Pokémon.
</gallery>}}

==Costume Design==
{{Main|Chris and cosplaying}}
Continuing his trend of using the cheapest materials possible while incorporating only the vaguest of likenesses, Chris's foray in cosplay is par for the course with his hand-drawings. They're poorly made, not thought out, and Chris likely believes they're professional quality.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}