CWCki - User contributions [en]

CLog 06072017

2017-12-15T14:12:23Z

Skullhat: Cleaned transcription a bit - still needs more work.

{{transcript}}

'''CLog 06072017''' is a video Chris uploaded on 7 June 2017.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CLog 06072017
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=J_IhTPNPCUY}}
| stardate = 7 June 2017
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[Sorbet's still recovering, with a nasal problem. Poor boy]]
| next = [[Live Drawing Stream#Live Drawing Stream - 06072017|Live Drawing Stream - 06072017]]
}}

===Description===

{{quotebox|Pledge today for sneak peeks at the pages of the to-be-published books, and autographed copies of my past books.

<nowiki>https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4525122</nowiki>

Direct Donations are also accepted.

<nowiki>http://www.paypal.me/CwcvilleGuardian/1</nowiki>}}

===Transcript===

Good evening everyone on the internet! Here's Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again with another Captain's Log, stardate zero six zero seven two zero one seven. As you all may have heard through the Facebook and Twitter of mine of which I will post a link for - underneath this video. We have expanded the Patreon. And which we have included now sneak peeks of the pages of which I'm still- of which I'm drawing in book 11. Currently the previews are that the colored up to page to sixty one we're up to about page sixty-five or six right now in the book and there's still a lot more content to go on including the clip show. I'll start a few pages later and yes I finally got my own complete collection of my own books printed well by my publisher. And th- and also through Patreon this'll a pretty much be the only way at the moment to get copies of my book, including those beyond book 4. And especially to get them autographed. Either a book of the month or a few or a few at a time or all I once depending on how much you pledge and that completely gets through the payment is fully processed at the beginning of the following month. Mmm. I'm tryin', alright - lemme see what else, thinking thinking thinking. Hmm. Anyway also, uhm, within the Patreon I may end up adding more rewards. Like I'm also thinking about, which I think I will do anyway just be a while to do it. Ah, my big Sonichu binders. Three of them now, counting the one with all the cards and my own Pogs. Mmm! That's a whole lot of crazy our work actually has a fourth book but that'd be a separate volume because that is X-rated. Anyway, volumes of my our book our binder up books illustrations at least for my reference and available to y'all at one point later on hardcover aid to have by 11 pages it's one idea I have also I might end up sharing my TCG playing map that I constantly use when I play the at least a Pokémon card game now definitely like drawing on this I put my I draw I put my binder on here on top the thing you know less cluttered and love to draw my drawing pad and all that good stuff hmm yeah there you go that's a cover of book 12 when I get to that hmm let me see what else anything else anything else hmm hmm I'm still I'm still thinking in processing and possibly further developments actual and trying to keep the haters out of the loop about that so there so the day don't influence such speculations that inhibited me before that's a whole different issue right there anyway so I think that about covers it for this Captain's Log I've been really busy with the drawing and that's why I haven't been doing captain's logs in the past few weeks but okay if I can get another one next week then it's good I can't then that means I'm very busy drawing alright anyway let my patreon make pledges you'll get sneak peeks before I make the book eleven finally publish this was future books and clay twelve thirteen fourteen so on it's all good thank you very much and have a good day you

{{Captain's Log}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sorbet's still recovering, with a nasal problem. Poor boy]]|nextlink=[[Poetic Letter]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2017-06-27T15:18:03Z

Skullhat: /* Discovery */

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Legal Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler (1982-[[Christopher's_name_change|1992]]) Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's_name_change|1992]]-2016) Christine Weston Chandler (2016-present)
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] [[Liquid Saga|Solid Chris]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]] [[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-2015) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th "[[Cherokian]]")
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer ([[Lulu|self-published]]), video game designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid) Entrepreneur of [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]-[[2016]]) [[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 35-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified transwoman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 35 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society even as he continues to grow older and the need for independence becomes more dire as his mother's health fails. Chris regularly demonstrates having trouble with [[Chris and health#Hygiene|personal hygiene]], acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the Law#2013|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute to society]] in any [[Chris's resume|meaningful way]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572</ref>.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015|2016|2017}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.

In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart. More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood.

[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|left|Chris in [[2016]].]]

Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016.

{| class="wikitable"
|Original
|Sequel
|-
|[[Recycling]]
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
|-
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
|[[IMG 3207]]
|-
|[[Carlos Chantor]]
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
|[[Un-clit]]
|[[Un-clit 2.0]]
|}

In addition:

*Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards were clearly visible behind them.

*The Sellout saga was essentially concluded when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".

*His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]].

*He made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

In May 2016, he filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref>

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>
==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Help, please

2016-11-28T18:01:06Z

Skullhat: Fixed minor transcription errors

:''This article is about the begging video from 21 November 2016. For the series of begs from July 2016, see [[HELP, PLEASE!!!]]''
'''Help, please''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 21 [[November 2016]]. It is yet another lazy attempt to solicit donations through YouTube—apparently because his mortgage is due. Chris dispassionately admits his appreciation for all the handouts he's received over the past year and a half. He ends the video by wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

Chris made this video hours after he and Barb had paid their property tax of $616.52<ref>[[:File:Propertytax2016paid.png]]</ref>, further demonstrating his and Barb's weak budgeting skills, especially considering that Chris has spent ''at least'' $2,245.88 on toys in 2016 ''alone''<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Financhu_Crisis#Chris.27s_toy_expenses</ref>.

Posts made by Chris<ref>[[Twitter|Ticked off about Pokemon Sun]]</ref><ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Pokemon Sun and Moon networking]]</ref> revealed that, around the time of this video, he had purchased '''both''' Pokemon Sun and Moon, and a Transformers toy<ref>[[Twitter|More wish list demands]]</ref>, adding to '''$90''' of frivolous expenses. He had mentioned going to Target for the Transformers toy on the 18th, which is also the release date for the Pokemon games. [[Chris and money|''Three days afterwards'', he made this video]].

A troll responded by donating one cent<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-6#post-1893900</ref>.

<center><gallery>
File:Receipt for a penny - credit to Philosophy Phil.png|$0.01 donation
</gallery></center>

Chris reacted, [[Twitter#We need more than a penny|tweeting]], "We need Donations larger than a penny apiece. Please try to give us $10 or a Lot more than that."

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Help, please
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gMVaxFmeJE0}}
| stardate = 21 November 2016
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt = I'm Done Adulting
| previous = [[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously]]
| next = [[CWC vs Koas]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|
PayPal to ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com

via YouTube Capture
}}

==Transcript==
Chris: Hello people of the internet, Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again... The mortgage company's biting our butts once again. Uhh, hopefully we'll be able to scrounge up enough- scrounge up the money locally but... We sure could use a lot more help. So... I mean, I am very thankful for all the kind donations that I have received from y'all within the past uh, year and greater... More than a year, Long ti- well few years. But we really could use your- use some more help now. So, just what you can; send it to me via PayPal...Please. Thank you, Happy Thanksgiving.
==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2016-11-04T18:45:11Z

Skullhat: /* Overview */

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/video game designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 34-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified transwoman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 34 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society even as he continues to grow older and the need for independence becomes more dire as his mother's health fails. Chris regularly demonstrates having trouble with [[Chris and health#Hygiene|personal hygiene]], acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the Law#2013|bahavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute to society]] in any [[Chris's resume|meaningful way]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, church, and formerly, [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]], [[white knights]], and his [[Etsy|customers]], all of whom he interacts with online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to etsy. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015|2016}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

In 2016, he filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref>

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>
==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2016-11-04T18:43:48Z

Skullhat:

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/video game designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 34-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified transwoman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 34 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society even as he continues to grow older and the need for independence becomes more dire as his mother's health fails. Chris regularly demonstrates having trouble with [[Chris and health#Hygiene|personal hygiene]], acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the Law#2013|bahavior]], recognizing when you need to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using your time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute to society]] in any [[Chris's resume|meaningful way]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, church, and formerly, [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]], [[white knights]], and his [[Etsy|customers]], all of whom he interacts with online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to etsy. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015|2016}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

In 2016, he filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref>

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>
==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2016-11-04T18:38:45Z

Skullhat: Reworded and updated context of Chris's situation - needs further modernisation (section about his gender insecurities)

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/video game designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 34-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified transwoman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 34 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society even as he continues to grow older and the need for independence becomes more dire as his mother's health fails. Chris regularly demonstrates having trouble with [[Chris and health#Hygiene|personal hygiene]], acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the Law#2013|bahavior]], recognizing when you need to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using your time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute to society]] in any [[Chris's resume|meaningful way]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents and . Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to etsy. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015|2016}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

In 2016, he filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref>

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>
==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Christmas

2015-04-14T16:04:16Z

Skullhat: /* Haunaka/Chaunaka/Konica/Chanukkah [sic/sic/sic/sic] */ Makes the article unprofessional

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:MerryCWCmas.jpg|right|thumb|Merry C-Mas to all the [[troll]]s, [[JERKS]], [[homos]], [[niggos]] and [[jerkop]]s out there!]]
[[File:SonichuChristmas.jpg|right|thumb|Every Christmas is a Sonichu Christmas.]]
'''Christmas''', or as [[Chris]] sometimes [[CWC-isms|idiotically calls it]], '''C-Mas''',<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref> is one of our hero's favorite of all holidays. He always celebrates it at [[14 Branchland Court|home]] with his family, and often mentions it in his comics and videos.

==Christmas in the Chandler family==
[[Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|right|thumb|Bob and lil' Chris remembering Jesus.]]
{{quote|We celebrate like normal; a decorated tree, get-together, remembering [[Jesus]] and all.|ChrisChanSonichu, [[Mailbag 2#Holidays with the Chandlers|Mailbag #2]].}}

Despite Chris's insistence that Christmas is a time for family, his atheist half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] does not take part in the traditional Chandler family celebrations, instead staying with his wife's family in California.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

As evidenced by videos like [[100 2281]] and [[Tour of Chris's House]], the Chandlers keep a Christmas tree and decorations in their [[kitchen]] year-round because they are too lazy to change it.

[[File:CWCmasStockings.jpg|right|thumb|The stockings were hung from the chimney with care.]]

{{Incomplete}}

==Santa Claus'''''e''''' [sic]==
[[Image:ChrisSanta.jpg|right|thumb|Chris wishes he were as much of a man as Mr. "Clause" is.]]
{{quote|[2008-12-15 07::03:20] EXKeine: Christmas is coming up, so... do you believe in Santa Claus? [2008-12-15 07::03:40] ChrisChanSonichu: yep.|Chris on Santa Clause [sic], [[IRC (15 December 2008)]].}}
{{quote|It’s been over a week since my [[PVCC|SUSPENSION]]; I am [[Stress|DEPRESSED]], [[Love Quest|LONELY]], SAD and BORED! I have [[Attraction Location|nowhere to go]] to attract a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free woman]]. I’ll be writing to Santa Clause [sic] this year, hoping that will bring me one. (8(|[[CWC's Diary]] for September 26, 2004, Chris acting like the 22-year-old grown-up man he is.}}
{{quote|Or for— since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister— yo' Misses Claus. I have a...good ole heat, 'cuz I took...a bit o'...[[Chris and sex|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, ho-OH!|Chris RPing as The Man, [[iPods Down and Listen Up]].}}
{{quote|I did not say that I was taking Viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that.|Chris, [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag #20]], on Kris Kringle's erectile dysfunction.}}

"Santa Clause" [[Chris and English|[sic]]] (not to be confused with [[wikipedia:The Santa Clause|the Tim Allen movie that uses this spelling]]) is a legendary character associated with Christmas, whom many Western children believe in.

According to surveys, most of these same children stop believing in Santa around the age of four, often when they find out it was actually [[Bob Chandler|their father]] with a [[Rollin' and Trollin'|fake beard]]. However, Chris claims that he still believes in "Santa Clause" [sic], despite being 33. He even put Santa's name on his [[JERKS#The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate|List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate]], which may imply that he: a) believes "Santa Clause" [sic] is real, b) believes Santa is a manly male man capable of landing himself a girlfriend (see also the [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag quote]] above). Also worth of note is the fact that Chris chose to put Santa's name on the list before [[God]] and [[Jesus]]...because, come on, these two [[JERKS]] never brought him even the tiniest presents!

Of course, all this doesn't necessarily mean that Chris actually ''does'' believe in Santa. Chris probably maintains this line because he ''wants'' to believe it and maintain memories of the happy Christmases of his childhood. For Chris, who still plays with da [[Lego]]s, professing a belief in Santa is "cute" and shows that he is "young at heart", one of his favorite traits.

In a 2010 [[Jackie e-mails Part 1|e-mail exchange]] with a woman, Chris stated that he [[Honor roll|learned]] Santa wasn't real around age fifteen or sixteen, but finally "gave up on him" at 24 after he failed to bring him a girlfriend for the third year in a row.

==Presents Chris gives, wishes for, and receives==
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '95]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '96]]
{{quote|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is [[Obesity|a good suggestion]].|[[Mailbag 6#For the man who has everything|Mailbag #6]], on what he planned to give his parents for Christmas, 2009.}}

==Christmas-related songs and merch==

Chris also got the name of his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]] from singing a 1950's Christmas song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, which actually [[Autism|says a lot about Chris]].

He also seems to have an affinity for the song "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]", as he raged like an idiot because the word [[homos|gay]] should only be used in context of "happy", as in the song.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

==Other confessions==
Being the totally sensitive and tolerant person he is, Chris in his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Christmas special (the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|text]] and [[Sonichu 11|comic]] versions) mentions the ways [[CWCville]] citizens of different faiths (that is, "Jewish folk", Buddhists, possibly [[Niggos|black people]], and "a few humbuggers") celebrate their own wacky versions of Christmas.

===Haunaka/Chaunaka/Konica/Chanukkah [sic/sic/sic/sic]===
{{quote|Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera.|''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]'', Act I}}

"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Haunaka]]"/"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Chaunaka]]"/"[[Holiday Greetings|Konica]]"/"[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|Chanukkah]]"/whatever, is a holiday [[CWCville]] "Jewish folk" celebrate while most other citizens celebrate Christmas. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" [sic] Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah, called a "Hanukkiah", has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. This is another small example of Chris's naivety as a cookie of any shape would have likely been appreciated. That Cerah couldn't choose a more obvious Hanukkah symbol (such as a Menorah or a dreidel) over a ''generic candle'' shows that Cerah has extremely poor knowledge of even the most basic of Jewish traditions known in the Gentile world.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating ''fried'' foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you - he just wanted to make sure that the cookie was hypoallergenic.

In [[IRC (22 December 2008)]] Chris listed "Haunaka" and "Chaunaka" as two different holidays, probably belonging to different religions. In his [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]], he does nearly the same thing, saying "happy Hanukkah, Chanukkah, all the other holidays to everybody of other religions".

===Jolly Buddah [sic]===

{{quote|Christmas Trees are abound most everywhere: in the homes of the townfolk, [[CWCville Mall|in the stores]], [[CWCville Mayoral Office|in the offices]], and the biggest one in the center of [[McIntire Park|CWC-Central Park]]. Some have Menorah Candles, or even a Jolly Buddah [sic].|[[Sonichu 11|A Sonichu Christmas]] (the comic version)}}
{{quote|All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such.|[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]] (the text version)}}

From what we know, Buddhism is one of the religions Chris tolerates, and so he sometimes mentions it as a display of his "religious sensitivity". However, he probably doesn't know jack shit about Buddhism, and assumes that since Buddhists are all "good-hearted believers", they undoubtedly should celebrate Christmas in some way! So, in [[CWCville]], Buddhists celebrate their Buddhist Christmas by going to their Buddhist churches on starting December 12, and having a "Jolly Buddah" instead of a Christmas Tree.

By coincidence, Christmas is actually a popular holiday in some primarily Buddhist countries (such as [[anime|Japan]]). However, it's rare for celebrators to give the time special religious significance specific to their religion. Similar to how Halloween is celebrated in America based solely on the customs with practically no emphasis on the religious practices that started the holiday, so too do many Buddhists enjoy Christmas just as an excuse to put up lights and give each other gifts.

===Kawanza [sic]===

Little is known of what Chris thinks about [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|"Kawanza"]] [sic] and the related rituals, except that he [[IRC (22 December 2008)|once]] congratulated his [[trolls]] with this holiday (among others), misspelling its name in the process.

===Other faiths===

Chris doesn't say (or care, probably), what Muslims, Orthodox Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Baha'is or Atheists do in CWCville on Christmas Day. Probably they're the "few humbuggers" whom Chris derides for not celebrating C-mas/Haunaka/Kawanza/whatever those wacky Buddhists celebrate.

==Notable Christmases in Chris's life==

===1989 or 1992===
[[Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|GodBear, directing his Chorus of AngelBears]]

On Christmas Day, 1992 (other sources claim it happened in [[1989]]), Chris got probably the most dumbfounding present in his whole life, and from [[Christopher's name change|GodBear]] himself, no less. While strolling with his father through the Regency Square Mall, Christopher, as he was called at the time, encountered a band of bears playing some Christmas songs. Chris talked to the conductor, and being half-deaf from the cacophonic music they played, the man operating the bear mistakenly named him "Christian".

From that point on, Chris insisted his name was Christian, not Christopher, and a few months later [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|got his name legally changed to "Christian"]].

===2003===
A comment made by Chris in a [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 2|video he shot on Christmas Day of 2004]] indicate that he met [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] on the Christmas Day of last year.

===[[2004]]===

{{quote|[[Stress sigh|[Chris sighs] ]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope Santa will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler — by the way, you can [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|call my Chris]] in public—and... thank you.|Emo Chris, [[So Need a Cute Girl]].}}
{{quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh. I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.|Chris, the poetic [[geinus]].}}

This Christmas, Chris expected to get: a) a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] from "Santa Clause" [sic], b) an [[Chris and remorse|apology]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Not surprisingly, he didn't get either, and became [[Stress|depressed]]. He recorded [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|a whiny video]] about [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[Wes Iseli]].

Earlier in December, he dedicated two different songs to the first of these two wishes: [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]] (written on December 4) and [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]] (recorded on Christmas 20). The same day as the latter, Chris also recorded another song, the famous [[So Need a Cute Girl]], which was probably dedicated to the same thing.

If "Santa Clause" [sic] really exists, this proves that he's a major [[JERK]], or that he doesn't tie up girls and leave them under trees as gifts for horny manchildren.

====Video====
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chandler Family Christmas 2004 part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = 25 [[December 2004]]
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need A Cute Girl Music Video]]
| next = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27s_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]}}

===[[2005]]===
[[Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas 2k5]]
{{quote|Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.|[[Megan]] on 20 December 2005, trying to be diplomatic with Chris.}}

Chris was probably [[stress]]ed as hell, because just a few days before his [[gal-pal]] and attempted [[sweetheart]] [[Megan Schroeder]] told him she doesn't like him [[Rape|trying to kiss her]], and that she [[Homo|doesn't want to have a boyfriend at all]]. Just to add insult to injury, "Santa Clause" [sic] brought him a shitty pirate ripoff instead of a genuine Lego set that year. No boyfriend-free girl under the tree this year either.

<center><gallery>
Image:077-StarOnTree.jpg
Image:078-StarFront.jpg
Image:079-StarBack.jpg
</gallery></center>

===[[2007]]===
[[Image:Fakeout-makeout2.jpg|right|thumb|Chris and Kimmi.]]

On December 26, Chris bought himself [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|a sex doll]] called [[Kimmi]], who would become a rival to his long-time [[Sex toys|artificial heartsweet]] [[Officer Nasty]], on [[Adamandeve.com]]. Probably because "Santa Clause" [sic] didn't bring him one this year, either.

To compliment the sex doll, Chris also bought a "Vintage XXX Cartoons DVD/CD", and received "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and "Playboy Magazine Digital Edition DVD/CD" for free. The fact that Chris specifically sought something as bizarre as vintage porn cartoons to [[mass debating|fap]] his crooked [[duck]] to, for some reason, sits fine with all the other weird aspects of his twisted personality.

However, being unsatisfied with fantasizing about naked women drawn in the 1960s, Chris went to Adamandeve.com again soon after New Year's Day, and purchased some more XXX-rated Holiday Gifts for himself. These include: a "2008 Adam & Eve Calendar", a "[[Card games|Romance Roulette Card Game]]" (which Chris probably plays as [[Virgin with Rage|solitaire]]), and, the strangest one of the bunch, a "Carmen Boob Mousepad", whatever that is. He also got some free items as well, namely a "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and, most notably, the infamous "Anal Love Beads", which would become a popular theme for [[trolling]] Chris in the ensuing year.

===[[2008]]===

Chris got "a couple of [[DVD]]s, ''Bee Movie'' on Blu-Ray, [[Obesity|assorted chocolates]] and [[Bob Walks In|a calming family moment]]" ([[IRC (28 December 2008)]]); in Chris's words, it was "simple, nothing extravagant". Bob outdid himself with a gift to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] overshadowing Sonichu in over-the-top symbolism. "He gave her an arranged box of ornaments, with tags attached to them; each one representing her blessings; three angels, me, dad and my half-bro, Cole. Ones for [[Ruckersville]], Red Oak, [[Chandler Cats|our cats]], and one for her." (Chris, on [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]).

===[[2009]]===

Chris took the time to send [[Kill De Jack|warm wishes]] to a [[Jack Thaddeus|dear friend]]. He also received chocolate and [[video games]] from [[Mailbag 24|his family]].

===[[2010]]===

Not much is known of how Chris spent Christmas this years. All that we know for sure is that for this Christmas he asked for all websites he sees as defamatory against him, such as the CWCki and [[ED]], to disappear.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He bought a ton of games in [[January 2011]], so he probably got PSN vouchers.

===[[2011]]===

Due to [[28 October 2011|Chris' decision to trespass at The Game Place and Barb's decision to assault an officer]], Chris's Christmas in 2011 was spent amid court appearances and the fear of potentially going to jail. It was also Chris's first Christmas sans-Bob.

===[[2012]]===
It's not known what Chris did, but he uploaded Bob's jazz marathon a few days beforehand.
{{Quote|I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.
http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip
Merry Christmas.|[[Facebook]], 20 [[December 2012]]}}

On the 21st, he watched [[Wikipedia:2012 (film)|''2012'']] and thanked God and Jesus that the [[Wikipedia:2012 phenomenon|world didn't end]], which must have brightened up his Christmas.

A few days after Chris seemed miserable, saying ''"I am back to the same old feelings; lonely, depressed, etc. makes me almost wish the world had ended, so I wouldn't have to continue feeling the pain. I desperately require my true (future) Sweetheart-to-be AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN..."''<ref>[[2013 Imgur Leak]]</ref> Apparently again Santa didn't bring him a pretty girlfriend.

===[[2013]]===

Nothing but a few PS3 games. No Life Upgrade Upgrade and still no sweetheart from the ground-up.

===[[2014]]===

Chris requested much-needed [[Lego]] sets, and even suggested "prank gifts" for [[trolls]] to send him. The day after Christmas, however, Chris would go to a local [[GameStop]], attempt to deface a ''Sonic Boom'' display, and try to mace an employee before getting arrested...again. Whether or not Chris's behavior is the result of a disappointing Christmas gift turnout is currently unknown.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*"[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
*"[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]"
*[[Holiday Greetings]]
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]"
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]
*[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|A Very ''Asperchu'' Christmas]]
*[[Halloween]]
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

Kellie Andes

2014-07-03T13:43:50Z

Skullhat: Removed unnecessary insults and restructured sentences

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Andes''' was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Kellie since married Allen Stowell. Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are officially dating.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) is telling of Christian's obsession with his high school years.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, describing her relations with Chris}}

Recently, Kellie has discovered Chris's antics since high school and provided some telling commentary. On December 19, [[2013]], Kellie shared a link on her [[Facebook]] for Chris's [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]] video with the comment, "OMG guys it gets WORSE! I threw up a little in my mouth after watching this. If you have a weak stomach, turn back now." Among those who commented on the link was [[Sarah Bevel]], another of Chris's gal-pals and crushes in high school, with the remark, "Ladies, look what we're missing. :P"<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/gal-pal-facebook-update-12-19-13.2726/</ref>

==During High School==
Kellie was Chris's lab partner in chemistry class at Manchester High, along with [[Gal pal#Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah Anne Bevel]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.
Image:0562-KellieAndesAllAround.jpg|Kellie and [[wikipedia:Domonic Jones|Domonic Jones]] at the [[Manchester High School]] prom. He went on to play professional basketball, she went on to marry a firefighter and have two children. Chris drew unpublishable comics in his bedroom for ten years.
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Kellie and [[Chris]]
Image:0577-KellieWSchuSweater.jpg|The only person besides Chris to wear Sonichu.
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

<center>{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}</center>

{{DEFAULTSORT:Andes, Kellie}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Autism

2014-07-02T21:01:06Z

Skullhat: Grammar edits, sentence restructures

{{Articleofthenow}}
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[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed him for his failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism_papers|updated]] [[28_October_2011#Arraignment,_plea_bargain,_and_sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]]}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song_of_Christian#The_actual_poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref>

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Autism

2014-07-02T15:42:46Z

Skullhat: Removed unnecessary insults, added references, sentence restructure - will continue to comb through this at another time

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Template:DeadLinks}}
[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people to display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin Falling Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed him for his failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism_papers|updated]] [[28_October_2011#Arraignment,_plea_bargain,_and_sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]]}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song_of_Christian#The_actual_poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref>

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Chris and fashion

2014-06-30T13:41:02Z

Skullhat: /* Wrist warmer */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. The majority of shirts he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which are decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) of his shirts was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts.
== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look particularly good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person, including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a [[Homos|gay]] trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|<s>will never have</s>]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|apparently ''has'' had]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his [[United States of America|patriotism]].

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Autism

2014-06-30T13:37:41Z

Skullhat: Fixing reference

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Template:DeadLinks}}
[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, you know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin Falling Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]]}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref>

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games, him trying to remain a child, or fear of failure. More than likely though this more to the fact that Chris is lazy, fat, selfish, naive, incompetent, refuses to grow up, and refuses to accept responsibility.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Autism

2014-06-30T13:36:25Z

Skullhat: Added evidence of sensory defensiveness to symptoms

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Template:DeadLinks}}
[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, you know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin Falling Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]]}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref>

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games, him trying to remain a child, or fear of failure. More than likely though this more to the fact that Chris is lazy, fat, selfish, naive, incompetent, refuses to grow up, and refuses to accept responsibility.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Honor roll

2014-05-20T21:10:23Z

Skullhat: Removed blatant insults, updated, reworded portions

{{protip|It has so far unknown whether or not Chris really did make the honor roll. [[China]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]] and a place in the Trolling Hall of Fame awaits anyone who can conclusively prove or disprove Chris's honor roll status.}}

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|The white sash says Chris made the honor roll, but the [[The creepy stare|slack-jawed stare]] says so much more.]]

{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|[[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] <ref>Translation: Not lonely with them, but with my points of HONOR ROLL. Good!</ref>}}

{{quote| I AM HONOR ROLL!| [[Liquid Chris]]}}

{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}}

Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in [[high school]] is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt upon this claim. Chris likes to boast of his honor roll status wherever possible as it is one of the easily measurable accomplishments in his life.

==Where Chris has claimed Honor Roll status==
Chris has trumpeted his honor-roll status in a number of his documents and videos.

*In [[Sub-Episode 2]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just deliberately [[troll]]ed your [[heart level]] down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.
*In his [[Miyamoto emails|e-mails]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia autobiography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his [[autism]], and how he is apparently better than those with [[Aspergers]].
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.
*Chris's first [[OkCupid]] profile from [[February 2009]] announces that he made the honor roll.
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself, using it in one of their arguments over the phone.<ref>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref>
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.

==Chris made the honor roll?==
In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a sash that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. As of the 2013-14 school year, being listed on the Honor Roll for a given semester only requires a 3.0 grade point average<ref>http://www.manchesterhs.mychesterfieldschools.com/files/_fJESV_/14cd5010b650607b3745a49013852ec4/2012-13_student_handbook.pdf</ref>, with no distinction made between harder classes and easier remedial course work (such as the English 12 class where Chris claims [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls]] got an A). The psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in [[2004]] noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. Often, even without remedial course work, it's not hard to get honor roll -- assuming 3.0 was B or B-, having had enough help from his parents with homework might have made up for a C average on tests. In the first semester of 2013-14, 789 students made either the Honor Roll or the more prestigious Distinguished Honor Roll<ref>http://www.manchesterhs.mychesterfieldschools.com/files/_xaGXZ_/a4271ab7097cdab83745a49013852ec4/2013-2014_S1_Regular_Honor_Roll1.pdf</ref><ref>http://www.manchesterhs.mychesterfieldschools.com/files/_xaGYj_/1bb1298af5762f333745a49013852ec4/2013-2014_S1_Distinguished_Honor_Roll1.pdf</ref>, about 40% of the total enrolment of about 1800-2000.<ref>https://p1pe.doe.virginia.gov/reportcard/report.do?division=21&schoolName=1531</ref> This may explain why Chris was [[Count Graduon|so upset]] at being awarded [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|''only'' a star pin for his grades]].

On the other hand, it is not completely out of the question to consider that Chris may have been able to get decent grades in school, even in harder courses. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]", he is enraged to receive an "F" in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also exclaims: ''"I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they slipped into "F"'s before long.

Chris's basic cognitive functions appear to work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his [[Stress|laziness]], [[naïve|naïveté]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], [[Chris and anger|temperament]] and [[Chris and sex|sexual frustration]] have led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto saga offers an interesting example of this contrast: Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain; however, one would think that if he could deduce this, he should never have believed that [[Nintendo]] was interested in his [[Sonichu|low quality spin-off]] in the first place.

One would think that all Chris needs to do is to post his grades in order to end the doubts to his alleged intelligence. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19#We cannot see Chris's report cards|Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers are said to be locked away beyond his reach (which could mean a number of things - they could be locked away, buried under the hoard of his parents, he doesn't have them anymore and he doesn't want to reveal that to others, he's just too lazy to get up and find them, or they could be [[14 Branchland Court#Destruction of the Chandler Household|burned or damaged]]), we may never know the truth until something finally snaps and he's able to get them.

Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]] (although the school district website states otherwise<ref>http://mychesterfieldschools.com/community/alumni/transcripts/</ref>), but was too lazy to procure them himself. [[Trolls|Those]] who have (or desire) access to the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should take note.

It is noteworthy that [[Bob Chandler|Chris' father]] stated in a Prank Call that Chris did not, in fact, make the Honor Roll.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npFYbb2sccs</ref> It is possible that Bob was either mistaken, lying or progressing into senility.

==Notes and references==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Manchester High School]]
*[[Slow-in-the-minds]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User talk:NegaCWC

2014-04-02T22:59:52Z

Skullhat:

==Your post on the [[Chris]] talk page==
You made some good points, I haven't gotten around to it yet (mind you, I'm an awful procrastinator) but I'll get it to addressing your concerns eventually.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:09, 6 August 2011 (PDT)

== Ivy's age ==

It's been on the page for two years and you're probably the first person to notice that, or at least the first person to say anything about it. I tip my hat to you on that.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:51, 3 September 2011 (PDT)

==Cole==
I'd be interested to see if it is genuine, I've not seen any public acknowledgement from Cole about Chris otherwise.--[[User:UncleBastard|UncleBastard]] 19:29, 29 June 2012 (PDT)

==Memes?==
Hey man, thanks for reviewing my changes. You changed the description of that hand drawn Chris picture back to "ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT STEAL.". I too thought this description was pretty funny but the reason I changed it was because in my mind, people who come to the site and aren't savvy with memes won't understand that reference. I understand that the Cwcki is currently a strange bastardization between ED shitfest and semi-factual fan page so this kind of stuff is unavoidable. I try to lean toward "semi-factual fanpage" and let Chris's antics provide the comedy rather than have editors try hard to make jokes about him in articles. Let me know what you think!
Cheers! --[[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] ([[User talk:Skullhat|talk]]) 22:59, 2 April 2014 (UTC)skullhat

Lovely Weather

2014-04-02T15:29:24Z

Skullhat:

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling, too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html "Sleigh Ride" Lyrics]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, and how she's as tall as Chris...]]

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to meet and presumably [[Chris and sex|have sex with]]. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is (to our knowledge) an entirely fictional creation.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because he believes "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name. The song Christian parodies is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form. Fans of Sonichu often say she bears a ressemblance to a [[Tomgirl|man in drag]] or a [[Silvana|hermaphrodite]]. Since Lovely Weather was a relatively new character in the ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic, with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[fans]] had expected more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future. The indefinite hiatus of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], however, makes this unlikely.

Lovely stands as a bold statement of Christian's [[Chris and reality|unrealistic expectations]], as she has enormous breasts, wears a thong, enjoys frequent casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. This depiction of Chris's ideal future wife directly contrasts everything he holds dear about females.<ref> [[I am STRAIGHT]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_za09_kjZA&feature=share&list=UUukiSAjb6ATVP-XafW871Eg "IamSTRAIGHT Part 2"]</ref> Through the comic, Lovely is portrayed as [[Women's rights|unintelligent, extremely promiscuous, and incredibly shallow]].

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by the year 2015. In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is [[The Wallflower]] as a pseudonym.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with [[Barbara|his mother]].]]

Chris tells his stories in a sporadic manner, so it is unlikely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. The implications of meeting, let alone fornicating with his future wife are significant plot devices which have not yet been addressed.

For instance, in the comic book, Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent]]. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to make decisions that result in events that will change the course of his life. There is the possibility that Chris's marriage with Lovely was preordained, and his time travel jaunt is one piece of the puzzle that leads to it.

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

==Deception==
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[mailbag]]s, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]''. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). Although Chris does not technically commit adultery, many fans of the franchise judge Chris's actions as lacking integrity.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2014-04-02T14:43:07Z

Skullhat:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 32)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–c2012) Unknown (2012-)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], thirty-two-year-old, former (allegedly) [[virgin with rage|virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Christian also stars alongside his [[Chris and copyright|original creations]] in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda]]

Chris is a timid, [[autism|autistic]], man with [[chris and his ego| delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as "you must [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you cannot loiter in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "you should use the washroom if you think you may [[dirty crapped briefs|soil yourself]]." Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Christian to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Christian's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; Christian appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Christian's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[Liquid Chris|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (was temporary. Permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]]]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people all over for his own shortcomings, resulting in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting what few friends he has left with his homophobia, and getting thrown out of a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] by committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health, and pined often about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in the past would end up betraying him - he found out that they had only tolerated him out of pity, and were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person.

In reality, the "frustration" that Chris feels is actually his actions beginning to come full circle in his life, whether he realizes it or not. 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including his actual friends he met in real life), all of whom tried to offer constructive advice for Chris, only for him to brush off their advice completely. With growing disregard for public concern and even [[Chris and the Law|the law]], it leaves one to wonder if there will come a day where Chris snaps and does something ''truly'' reprehensible, resulting in him being put away from functioning society for good.

{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2014-04-02T14:41:59Z

Skullhat: Removed slander and unnecessary narrations. Added comments to make the article more neutral.

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 32)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–c2012) Unknown (2012-)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], thirty-two-year-old, former (allegedly) [[virgin with rage|virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Christian also stars alongside his [[Chris and copyright|original creations]] in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda]]

Chris is a timid, [[autism|autistic]], man with [[chris and his ego| delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as "you must [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly,", "you cannot loiter in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "you should use the washroom if you think you may [[dirty crapped briefs|soil yourself]]." Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Christian to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Christian's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; Christian appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Christian's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[Liquid Chris|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (was temporary. Permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]]]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people all over for his own shortcomings, resulting in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting what few friends he has left with his homophobia, and getting thrown out of a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] by committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health, and pined often about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in the past would end up betraying him - he found out that they had only tolerated him out of pity, and were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person.

In reality, the "frustration" that Chris feels is actually his actions beginning to come full circle in his life, whether he realizes it or not. 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including his actual friends he met in real life), all of whom tried to offer constructive advice for Chris, only for him to brush off their advice completely. With growing disregard for public concern and even [[Chris and the Law|the law]], it leaves one to wonder if there will come a day where Chris snaps and does something ''truly'' reprehensible, resulting in him being put away from functioning society for good.

{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2014-04-02T14:11:53Z

Skullhat: Removed slander and unnecessary narrations

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 32)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–c2012) Unknown (2012-)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], thirty-two-year-old, former (allegedly) [[virgin with rage|virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Christian also stars alongside his [[Chris and copyright|original creations]] in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter) who wasn't a [[troll]].

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[Liquid Chris|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (was temporary. Permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]]]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people all over for his own shortcomings, resulting in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting what few friends he has left with his homophobia, and getting thrown out of a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] by committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health, and pined often about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in the past would end up betraying him - he found out that they had only tolerated him out of pity, and were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person.

In reality, the "frustration" that Chris feels is actually his actions beginning to come full circle in his life, whether he realizes it or not. 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including his actual friends he met in real life), all of whom tried to offer constructive advice for Chris, only for him to brush off their advice completely. With growing disregard for public concern and even [[Chris and the Law|the law]], it leaves one to wonder if there will come a day where Chris snaps and does something ''truly'' reprehensible, resulting in him being put away from functioning society for good.

{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Power

2013-04-19T16:32:54Z

Skullhat: RIP Megaupload ;_;

'''Power''' is a file, published by [[The Miscreants]], in which [[Chris]] performs various dubious feats of strength. The .zip includes three videos, an audio file and a "special thanks" document. It was published along with [[CWCFlyingElephants]] on 27 [[April 2009]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TREWHpjD2Rc}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:He-Chan.jpg|thumb|right|BY THE POWER OF NUMBSKULL!]]
StrongCWC1
[''Chris stands in the middle of [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], with [[Muscle bra|no shirt on]], and the [[Gitar of Fail]] in his right arm. He proceeds to hold it above his head'']

'''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR! FEEL MY WRATH!'''

[''performs a retarded "guitar solo"- namely by wiggling the whammy bar and screeching'']

StrongCWC2
[''Chris stands in the same spot as before, albeit now with a swivel chair in front of him. He [[I AM STRONG|flexes]] his jelly-like arms'']

''(Spoken in voiceover)'' We will now be watching the strong man, lifting a '''very heavy''' ''office chair''. Note: the chair [[WeighIn|weighs a ''grand'' number of ''pounds''.]]

[''crouches and lifts up the chair, albeit with considerable effort'']

Ahhhhh! Ta-da! '''FEEL MY WRATH!'''

[''puts the chair back down'']

StrongCWCPower
[''Much like before, Chris stands in front of the chair, again flexing in an attempt to look tough. However, there is now a plastic basket filled with what appears to be books placed on the chair as well'']

''(Spoken in voiceover)'' Now we will be seeing the strong man lifting ''the same chair'', but with a '''very heavy''' basket full of junk in the chair.

[''bends down to pick up the chair, giving us a view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear and arse crack]] in the process- he struggles to lift the chair, and spills a good portion of what appears to be books in the process'']

'''HHHNGG [[random access humor|I ONCE KNEW A MAN FROM NANTUCKET!!''']]

[''puts the chair back down very quickly'']

==See also==
* [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
* [[I AM STRONG]]
* [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'LL SEND EVERYTHING IN MY '''POWER!''']]
* [[Prower]]

==External links==

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Got A Fish]]|nextlink=[[CWCFlyingElephants]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]

30 Push-Ups

2013-04-19T15:37:49Z

Skullhat: Removed unnecessary hate. Will add sources sooner or later.

"'''30 Push-Ups'''" (originally "'''10302009 CWC 30 Push Ups'''") is a video in which Chris attempts to do thirty push-ups.

Chris's physical fitness has been questioned many times. When asked to make a video proving he can do thirty push-ups, this is what he provided. In the video, Chris is seen attempting to perform push-ups to Survivor's "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]". Chris appears to be either ignorant to the proper form of a push-up or simply cannot perform one; he does not do a single rep in good form. If this were the military, a personal training session, or even an elementary school gym class, an official would say Chris has done 0 push-ups, not 30. Despite taking an arguably easier form of the push-up, Chris still becomes visibly fatigued only part-way through the video.

Not much else goes on in this video, though it should be noted that Chris's pair of [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]] makes another cameo.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC 30 Push-Ups
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nenWF3gkPog}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| shirt = {{BlueTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Getting Foam Ed]]
| next = [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Image:Suffering.jpg|thumb|Chris suffers through his thirtieth failed attempt at a push-up.]]

'''0:05 - 0:36:''' ''Chris repeatedly does a pushup-like motion where his face is at least 18" off the floor at all times and his back is arched. His pelvis touches the floor several times. At 0:13, the opening guitar riff from "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" becomes audible.''

'''0:37 - 0:43:''' ''Becoming exhausted after thirty seconds of an attempt at showing off his strength, Chris struggles under his own body weight, exhausted and consistently fails to perform a proper push-up. Nonetheless, he counts off how many "reps" he thinks he's done.''

'''0:44 - 1:02:''' ''Chris moves his hands towards his distended, swollen belly. He moves his upper trunk off the ground, and then raises his hips, counting these as a "push-ups."''

'''1:03 - 1:20:''' ''Chris groans and rests his weight on his forearms. He then repositions his hands near his breast and counts the next awkward thrusting motion as "twenty-four." He is no longer moving his hips off the ground, and is just raising his trunk up and down, painfully. His face appears contorted, as if in great discomfort.''

'''1:21 - 1:29:''' ''His face contorted in an agonized grimace, Chris moves most of his body off the ground for the "29th" rep. His knees and feet are cleverly positioned out of the camera frame throughout the video. He pauses for a second or two before doing the last rep, visibly on his knees for this one. For some reason, his back shakes alarmingly as he counts off the "30th" rep. Still on his knees, he turns off the video camera.''

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wJqmTOhyas CWC: An inspiration to everyone]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Getting Foam Ed]]|nextlink=[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]|}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-30]]

CWCki talk:Community Portal

2013-03-15T19:47:55Z

Skullhat: If you experience down time while on the cwcki, please post here.

are there any other pages that need adding? --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 22:30, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
*Maybe either a general user decision area or a general talk area? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 04:56, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
* I agree with Eniggy, there should be a general discussion area for users to discuss general topics on Chrissy boy and his latest exploits. Please Coggy, make this a reality! --[[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 23:47, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

this thing was a failure, i suggest merging everything back EXCEPT for speculation. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:03, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:Also I demand a new admin besides champ because he's not here a lot now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:03, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
::Just someone who's on here a lot or someone with web editing experience? You could see if someone like Anonymax would do it, he does tons of editing on here everyday. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 22:33, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:::i don't think web editing is going to help in this position. i'd nominate anonymax too [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:34, 3 October 2010 (PDT)
:::: I vote merge too. And if you guys need help I'll provide some assistance.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 20:54, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I also vote for merge. Speculation overflowed while the other sections barely had anything on them.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:12, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::: I agree merge,also Clyde should be admin.--[[User:EpicBeta|EpicBeta]] 21:49, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

== Serious discussion overhauling this portal ==
Policy/Suggestions/General and that's it. (Policy would have both editing policy and community policy) -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 08:53, 2 November 2010 (PDT)

== Sightings ==

*question, where should sightings be put under? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:55, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Need new URL to Offshore CWCki ==

The link is dead. Can someone fix that?
[[User:Masterspark|Masterspark]] 17:49, 14 January 2011 (PST)

The Offshore CWCki has been dead, was there a reason? [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 21:41, 11 February 2011 (PST)
*[[User:Clydec|Yes.]] [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:24, 12 February 2011 (PST)

== Speculation page ==

To prevent what happened [[Talk:Tomgirl_Pictures|here]], can we have the speculation page back? Offshore cwcki failed, and I know a lot of higher-ups dislike speculation, but at least if we had that page back it would be contained to one area. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:06, 2 May 2011 (PDT)

== New forum location ==

forum link should be
http://cwcki.forumer.com/

tru dat. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 03:10, 5 January 2012 (PST)

== TIME TO CHANGE THE FORUM LINK ==

TIME TO CHANGE THE FORUM LINK. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Slimz|Slimz]] ([[User talk:Slimz|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Slimz|contribs]]) 
:Time for you to stop typing in caps and to [[Template:Sign|sign your shit]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 07:54, 9 January 2012 (PST)

== Quality portal? ==

Crazy idea I'm just throwing out here, how about a portal to discuss article quality issues? People bitch about the quality of articles, why not give them a place to bring their concerns so we can address them? Like I said, just a crazy idea I have and I'd like some feedback first.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:15, 10 January 2012 (PST)
: well we have the forums and the discussion pages for each article, we could create a wiki for discussion .. yo dawg i heard you like to wiki so i made a wiki about your wiki so you can discuss what you discuss. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Slimz|Slimz]] ([[User talk:Slimz|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Slimz|contribs]]) 
: Crazy idea - why doesn't Slimz stop removing signature messages from his talk page and ACTUALLY START TO FUCKING USE THEM. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:43, 10 January 2012 (PST)
:Seconding. Both Champ's idea and Anonymax's. Not you though Slimes. You just need a doctor. Seriously though, this wiki does need a serious quality overhaul, and this would be a valuable tool in achieving those ends. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 13:03, 10 January 2012 (PST)

== Forum link ==

Is the forum dead? --[[User:Shutupman|Shutupman]] 04:11, 8 November 2012 (PST)
:It certainly looks that way. It appears to have been taken down either by an admin or due to a terms of service violation. The latter is certainly possible; maybe someone reported the forum to Forumer? This is merely speculation on my part; what actually happened remains to be seen. [[User:CWCThinker|CWCThinker]] 07:54, 8 November 2012 (PST)

<s>
::Champ wrote on another page that the forum was TOSed. No word that I'm aware of of what's going to happen next. [[User:Holdek|Holdek]] 13:00, 8 November 2012 (PST)</s>

:::I wonder if Chris reported it? I think new forum should be made, however the new forum provider's TOS should be evaluated to make sure that a Cwcki forum isn't breaking any of thate provider's rules. That way this won't happen again. [[User:Taurine|Taurine]] 13:43, 8 November 2012 (PST)

::::Nevermind...I looked at his comment again and he didn't say that. Must have got it mixed up with something else. I have no idea why the forum is down. My apologies. [[User:Holdek|Holdek]] 14:08, 8 November 2012 (PST)
::If it was TOS'd, it was probably someone who was recently banned. If you look at their TOS, the forum wasn't actually in breach of them, so it will have been a misunderstanding. It'll likely be possible that we can recover the forum. If not, I don't think it's a big loss. Forumer really isn't handling this very professionally, so something like this was inevitable. It might just be smarter to change to another provider, even if the forum CAN be recovered. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 16:41, 8 November 2012 (PST)

:::::I agree. At this point I wouldn't risk going with forumer again. At least the most important information that came from the forums was put onto the CWCki. So like you said, no big loss. [[User:Taurine|Taurine]] 16:55, 8 November 2012 (PST)

::::::On /cwc/, someone said someone else was butthurt about being banned and reported it to Forumer, if that helps. [[User:Grandma Nazi|Grandma Nazi]] 17:53, 8 November 2012 (PST)

:::::::Zero surprise there. Those guys and their imaginary war. [[User:Taurine|Taurine]] 18:14, 8 November 2012 (PST)

== Editing Closed ==
I think your decision to close editing to all but a few articles was a good choice for the moment. I too have noticed the large volume of account creation and it does look like something malicious may be on the horizon. I don't agree with keeping these articles locked down forever though (or unlocked on request), it just creates bureaucracy that limits myself and others from editing/correcting as we research. It hampers my flow, yo. Until the motive behind the account creations is discovered though, limiting the area of attack is still a wise choice. --[[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 06:30, 29 January 2013 (PST)

Holy SHIT there is a swath of new accounts again. What the hell is going on? [[User:BeefCurtains|BeefCurtains]] 10:15, 23 February 2013 (PST)

Ah. That explains why I've not been able to edit anything as of late. What's going on with all these new accounts, I wonder? --[[User:Clockwork Hydra|Clockwork Hydra]] 16:31, 27 February 2013 (PST)

:Someone's probably planning a big vandalism attack. Would it be possible to enable editing for, say, accounts with over 10 edits already or something? [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 09:59, 1 March 2013 (PST)

== The Cwcki is Dying ==
I will be keeping a log of all the times I experience issues with accessing the Cwcki as this is beginning to happen more and more frequently.

~3:30 PM EST March 15th, 2013 - NOTES: Temporary down time, lasting 1-3 minutes with ~5-10 minute up time. Very sluggish response, even worse than usual. This is not my connection, browser reports that server is failing to send data.

Sorry Cogs/Champ, but until someone sheds a little bit of light upon what's going on here/what your team plans to do about the user creation spam or whatever is causing these issues, I'm not donating.
--[[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 12:47, 15 March 2013 (PDT)

Template:Picture of the now

2013-03-15T19:32:57Z

Skullhat: Removed unnecessary hate and replaced it with observations rather than opinion.

[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|left|300px]]

Chris's newest [[Facebook]] pic. Chris seems to have gained weight and looks noticeably older. Interestingly, his hair appears to be in slightly better condition than it has been in previous [[Facebook#Gallery|photos]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a picture, which is normally related to recent Chris activity. Beside it should be a caption, quote or brief explanation of the picture, with appropriate wiki links.. Suggestions for new pictures of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Picture of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

User talk:Reality Bender

2013-02-08T14:19:36Z

Skullhat:

Why can't I edit anything?

Editing is currently disabled for a majority of pages due to what appears to be an attack or preparation for an attack on the wiki. If you go to Recent Changes, you can see a large volume of users are being created and they all have a similar format for their names. It looks like a bot or malicious activity. --[[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 06:19, 8 February 2013 (PST)

CWCki talk:Community Portal

2013-01-29T14:30:56Z

Skullhat:

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2013-01-08T18:05:10Z

Skullhat: /* Sonichu */

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see [[Chris in the media]]. There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Many claim that his many negative qualities compel them to engage him. In other words, they troll him because he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling- this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Not really, but you can try posting it on [[/cwc/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furry community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these action are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: For those who may be curious, they are located [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref>

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]]

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[cwcisms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] has been his only outlet.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [http://cwcki.forumer.com The CWCki Forum] the official forum of this fine wiki
:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2013-01-08T18:04:56Z

Skullhat: /* Sonichu */

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see [[Chris in the media]]. There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Many claim that his many negative qualities compel them to engage him. In other words, they troll him because he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling- this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Not really, but you can try posting it on [[/cwc/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furry community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these action are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: For those who may be curious, they are located[[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref>

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]]

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[cwcisms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] has been his only outlet.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [http://cwcki.forumer.com The CWCki Forum] the official forum of this fine wiki
:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2013-01-08T18:02:20Z

Skullhat: /* Sex */

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see [[Chris in the media]]. There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Many claim that his many negative qualities compel them to engage him. In other words, they troll him because he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling- this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Not really, but you can try posting it on [[/cwc/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furry community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these action are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|Here]], you sick fuck.

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref>

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]]

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[cwcisms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] has been his only outlet.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [http://cwcki.forumer.com The CWCki Forum] the official forum of this fine wiki
:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2013-01-08T17:59:19Z

Skullhat: /* Sex */

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see [[Chris in the media]]. There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Many claim that his many negative qualities compel them to engage him. In other words, they troll him because he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling- this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Not really, but you can try posting it on [[/cwc/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furfag community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these action are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|Here]], you sick fuck.

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref>

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]]

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[cwcisms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] has been his only outlet.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [http://cwcki.forumer.com The CWCki Forum] the official forum of this fine wiki
:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2013-01-08T17:56:30Z

Skullhat: /* Sex */

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see [[Chris in the media]]. There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Many claim that his many negative qualities compel them to engage him. In other words, they troll him because he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling- this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Not really, but you can try posting it on [[/cwc/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. He does not regularly were furry costumes although he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]]. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furfag community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these action are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|Here]], you sick fuck.

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref>

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]]

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[cwcisms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] has been his only outlet.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [http://cwcki.forumer.com The CWCki Forum] the official forum of this fine wiki
:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

Talk:Patti-Chan

2012-12-20T17:52:59Z

Skullhat: /* Folklore */

[[Image:0733-Megan Shrine3.JPG|thumb]]
The character design for Patti-Chan was originally drawn up by Meghan. May want to make a little note about that...--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 11:29, 3 April 2009 (CEST)

*The moar you know. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:15, 3 April 2009 (CEST)

==Folklore==

I noticed in one of his emails to Megan, he attached some pics of Patti for a "Folklore" game contest. [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris_talks_about_another_contest_and_his_ENDURING_LOVE_QUEST] Anyone have those? --[[User:Requiempeace|Requiempeace]] 21:35, 19 December 2012 (PST)

There is a torrent that floats around which contains nearly everything Chris. I think it is "Chris-chan vol 12.torrent". No one seeds it anymore though. I breezed through the torrent contents and can say most of the pictures in it have been uploaded to the cwcki but really, you can never be sure. I could never find a seeder.
Here is the file http://www.mediafire.com/?x8qxajd7ywvw4k7
Look through the files, good luck finding a seeder.
--[[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 09:46, 20 December 2012 (PST)

Talk:Patti-Chan

2012-12-20T17:46:24Z

Skullhat: /* Folklore */

[[Image:0733-Megan Shrine3.JPG|thumb]]
The character design for Patti-Chan was originally drawn up by Meghan. May want to make a little note about that...--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 11:29, 3 April 2009 (CEST)

*The moar you know. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:15, 3 April 2009 (CEST)

==Folklore==

I noticed in one of his emails to Megan, he attached some pics of Patti for a "Folklore" game contest. [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Chris_talks_about_another_contest_and_his_ENDURING_LOVE_QUEST] Anyone have those? --[[User:Requiempeace|Requiempeace]] 21:35, 19 December 2012 (PST)

There is a torrent that floats around which contains nearly everything Chris. I think it is "Chris-chan vol 12.torrent". No one seeds it anymore though. I breezed through the torrent contents and can say most of the pictures in it have been uploaded to the cwcki but really, you can never be sure. I could never find a seeder. --[[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 09:46, 20 December 2012 (PST)

A-Logs

2012-12-18T21:22:28Z

Skullhat: Fixed reference position.

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done. |A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just a poorly parented individual who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day are likely to be the result of his mothers influence, non-existent driving skills, and sheer panic.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction.

====Chris's [[racism]] and [[homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication; while this is considered a serious mark of a racist, Chris shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> Chris is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money.
What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just naive===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Pickle|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|CHRIS-CHAN MUST DIE!!!! Sick fuck!|mxc82, once again, on YouTube. (Note: This is not a joke)}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|You know, blocking people is just going to make you look butthurt. Stop giving people with [[Autism]] and [[Aspergers|Apergers]] a bad name. I have aspergers, I'm 13, and yet I draw, and know better. Not to be mean, but with those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|blow up doll]] and stripping videos, you need help.|ShanuChinchillaXx, on Chris-Chan's fake DeviantArt account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]].}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

A-Logs

2012-12-12T21:18:45Z

Skullhat: /* Chris's racism and homophobia */ More references and info

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done. |A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just a poorly parented individual who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day are likely to be the result of his mothers influence<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref>, non-existent driving skills<ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>, and sheer panic.

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction.

====Chris's [[racism]] and [[homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication; while this is considered a serious mark of a racist, Chris shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref>. In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref>. Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref>. Chris is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money.
What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just naive===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Pickle|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|CHRIS-CHAN MUST DIE!!!! Sick fuck!|mxc82, once again, on YouTube. (Note: This is not a joke)}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|You know, blocking people is just going to make you look butthurt. Stop giving people with [[Autism]] and [[Aspergers|Apergers]] a bad name. I have aspergers, I'm 13, and yet I draw, and know better. Not to be mean, but with those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|blow up doll]] and stripping videos, you need help.|ShanuChinchillaXx, on Chris-Chan's fake DeviantArt account.}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

A-Logs

2012-12-12T20:37:36Z

Skullhat: Cleaned and referenced, might do more later. More fit for AotN. Needs direction, will post in talk page.

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done. |A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves and therefore is looked down by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home, have trouble with women, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of over 6 million Jews, plus millions of other political dissidents in the years before and during World War II. Chris is just a poorly parented individual who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day are likely to be the result of his mothers influence<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref>, non-existent driving skills<ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>, and sheer panic.

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction.

====Chris's [[racism]] and [[homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. His only real grievance, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref>. Chris is not the Westboro Baptist Church which is engaged in a massive campaign against homosexuals using inflammatory language, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money.
What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just naive===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Pickle|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|CHRIS-CHAN MUST DIE!!!! Sick fuck!|mxc82, once again, on YouTube. (Note: This is not a joke)}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|You know, blocking people is just going to make you look butthurt. Stop giving people with [[Autism]] and [[Aspergers|Apergers]] a bad name. I have aspergers, I'm 13, and yet I draw, and know better. Not to be mean, but with those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|blow up doll]] and stripping videos, you need help.|ShanuChinchillaXx, on Chris-Chan's fake DeviantArt account.}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

Lovely Weather

2012-12-04T20:27:32Z

Skullhat: Removing more slander and pointless additions. Rephrasing etc etc

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling, too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html "Sleigh Ride" Lyrics]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, and how she's as tall as Chris...]]

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to meet and presumably [[Chris and sex|have sex with]]. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is (to our knowledge) an entirely fictional creation.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because he believes "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name. The song Christian parodies is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form. Fans of Sonichu often say she bears a ressemblance to a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather was a relatively new character in the ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic, with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[fans]] had expected more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future. The indefinite hiatus of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], however, makes this unlikely.

Lovely stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous breasts, wears a thong, enjoys frequent casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. This depiction of Chris's ideal future wife directly contrasts everything he holds dear about females.<ref> [[I am STRAIGHT]] - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_za09_kjZA&feature=share&list=UUukiSAjb6ATVP-XafW871Eg "IamSTRAIGHT Part 2"]</ref> Through the comic, Lovely is portrayed as unintelligent, extremely promiscuous, and incredibly shallow.

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by the year 2015. In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is [[The Wallflower]] as a pseudonym.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with [[Barbara|his mother]].]]

Chris tells his stories in a sporadic manner, so it is unlikely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. The implications of meeting, let alone fornicating with his future wife significant which have not been addressed.

For instance, in the comic book, Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent]]. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to make decisions that result in events that will change the course of his life. There is the possibility that Chris's marriage with Lovely was preordained, and his time travel jaunt is one piece of the puzzle that leads to it.

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

==Deception==
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[mailbag]]s, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]''. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). Although Chris does not technically commit adultery, many fans of the franchise judge Chris's actions as lacking integrity.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

Template talk:Article of the now

2012-10-26T14:28:10Z

Skullhat: /* Updating the "Article of the now" every week or two? */

==Recommendations==
Post some here. I'm out of ideas at the moment. General guidelines though:

 1) no stubs
 2) ideally no pages with incomplete sections.
 3) Should have a picture
 4) Should have more than one section. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:27, 17 June 2009 (CEST)

Srsly, I do need ideas D:. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:43, 26 November 2009 (CET)

I recommend the Game Place article, complete with the blurry photograph of old.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:11, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
*Good idea, that's a better suggestion than the new video. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:37, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

:*MoarLurk brings up a good point - the Article of the Now needn't be whatever the new thing is the reflects The Now, but could provide some sort of background. Ideally brand new articles shouldn't be Article of the Now unless they're really good (and if they're new, they're seldom good). For instance, it's poor style to have the new video with Chris approaching Michael Synder as the Article of the Now - people are going to see this article in Da update on the left, not to mention it's featured in the Picture of the Now. However, The GAMe PLACe is a pretty good article which gives some background into current stuff. In other words, the Article of the Now can help give some insight into current Chris affairs to give people a greater insight. So in other words, an article like The GAMe PLACe is better than, say the new video.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:47, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

For my next suggestion, I propose [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]].--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:46, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Hey! ==

This AotN is becoming hella-old. Refresh it, fucko! :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 01:45, 21 September 2009 (CEST)

==Replace image==
Could someone please replace [[:Image:Claw of fail 2.png]] with [[:Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg]] and delete the png? --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 21:48, 15 November 2009 (CET)

== YOU BASTARDS ==

I was gonna make CWCipedia the article of the now but someone beat me to the punch.

Kudos. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:57, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Updating the "Article of the now" every week or two? ==

Because of the "28 October 2011" article has been "Article Of The Now" for about a quarter of a year (3 months) before it was changed to "Chris and brand loyalty", I was thinking, should we update the AOTN every week or two? We might make some newer or older articles which are not featured before to be featured and we don't need to wait for a few months until we think it's time for the next AOTN. (The longest so far is like 4 MONTHS when I browsed through the history) We can also add three names of previously featured articles (which was what ED and Wikipedia did) so that people can keep track what articles are being featured. Any thoughts? [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 08:04, 25 October 2012 (PDT)

I agree with your initiative. My concern is how we judge what should be the AotN. Will it be what's most relevant to recent Christory? Will it be most recently created articles? Personally, I think it should be a combination of all of these. It should only contain articles which have been combed through and well researched though. That's just my opinion. Cheers! [[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 08:57, 25 October 2012 (PDT)

Originally, the AotN was mostly to highlight good articles. It later evolved to being whatever is relevant to Chris at the given moment, the "Now." I think that it's not a bad idea to highlight an article that might give insight to current events, Chris wise, but I think given that things are slow, it's not a bad idea to highlight good articles.

But here's my issue - we really haven't had a spat of good articles in a long, long time. There's a lot of reasons for that, and as an admin I am partially to blame. I would even say that articles that used to be good now suck, mostly due to oversperging and that sort of thing. The main reason I haven't updated the AotN is because I really don't think there are many worthy candidates, or at least not rehashing the same articles that have been AotN in the past.

I have no problem updating it every week or two, I think it's silly we have the same article for three months (you sure it was only three months? I'd say it was more like a little under a year it was up) but I don't think we have enough good articles, especially articles that haven't been featured before, that deserved to be featured. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:53, 25 October 2012 (PDT)

In the words of Chris, "I'M WORKIN' ON IT! I'M WORKIN ON IT!" I've been trying to improve pre-existing articles and make them more credible but this takes a while since I primarily do this when I have nothing to do at work. Expansions, citation, and removal of insults (which will lead to more articles fit enough to be showcased) are my main goals but these things take time and every time I read more articles I find more stuff to work on. [[User:Skullhat|Skullhat]] 07:28, 26 October 2012 (PDT)

Kacey

2012-10-25T16:07:30Z

Skullhat: /* Contact with Chris */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|Kacey with Liquid Chris.]]

|-
! colspan="2" |Kacey
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Kacey Devoria
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 30 June 1983
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Matt Devoria]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| Kale Devoria (elder brother) Kara Devoria (little sister)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Liquid Chris]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
|Nursing/Biology undergraduate
|-
|}

{{Quote|Yes, Kacey is one of my gal-pals; nothing major at the time. She already cares for [[Liquid Chris|this other dude]]. I do care about her as a [[China|friend]] though. :) I am the sort of man who [[The Wallflower|keeps his friends close to his heart and cares about them]].|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[Liquid Chris]] who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]", "[[china|kind]]" personality, as Chris believes all women do. As he is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

Chris tried to lure Kacey to [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] under the false pretense that he was actually Liquid Chris. They had a long series of [[Kacey calls|phone conversations]] before she cut ties with him due to [[Matt Devoria|her father]]'s disapproval. Chris believes that she is currently married to Liquid Chris.

==Background==

Basically, Chris became enraged with jealousy that [[Liquid Chris]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and cum all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Chris was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] Chris has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Chris, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Chris in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr. and Mrs. D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Chris==

On 3 [[August 2009]], Chris sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 4 August 2009, Chris created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Chris tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

On a few occasions, Kacey and Chris have mentioned a meeting which took place between them. Kacey seems to maintain that Chris was disrespectful and perverted during this meeting.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call#Transcript|"First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time."]]</ref>

==The Love Quest==

Once [[Liquid Chris#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Chris and Kacey began to emerge. In Chris' [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Chris would later officially proclaim his love for her in the creatively titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared.

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Chris graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Chris implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Chris as friends.

However, Chris being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Chris' Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Chris and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Chris got into an [[Father Call|argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris' chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing to go and ''shoot'' Liquid Chris. Horrified, Kacey scorned Chris for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Chris would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

With the release of [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|the ''actual'' final phone call between Kacey and Chris,]] it is shown that Kacey is very wise about Chris' dealings. Following the end of the call, Kacey makes an assumption about Chris never mentioning her again. While he does in [[CWC is sad]], the very next day after said video, a new video is released where [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|Chris is smiling from ear to ear.]] The very next day. The coincidence is stunning.

==Marriage to Liquid==
Liquid Chris and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Chris tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright papers]], which, as you probably guessed, failed miserably.

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey calls]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
*[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

==References==
<references />

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Love quest}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey

2012-10-25T16:06:32Z

Skullhat: /* Contact with Chris */ Added info on in person meeting.

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|Kacey with Liquid Chris.]]

|-
! colspan="2" |Kacey
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Kacey Devoria
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 30 June 1983
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Matt Devoria]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| Kale Devoria (elder brother) Kara Devoria (little sister)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Liquid Chris]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
|Nursing/Biology undergraduate
|-
|}

{{Quote|Yes, Kacey is one of my gal-pals; nothing major at the time. She already cares for [[Liquid Chris|this other dude]]. I do care about her as a [[China|friend]] though. :) I am the sort of man who [[The Wallflower|keeps his friends close to his heart and cares about them]].|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[Liquid Chris]] who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]", "[[china|kind]]" personality, as Chris believes all women do. As he is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

Chris tried to lure Kacey to [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] under the false pretense that he was actually Liquid Chris. They had a long series of [[Kacey calls|phone conversations]] before she cut ties with him due to [[Matt Devoria|her father]]'s disapproval. Chris believes that she is currently married to Liquid Chris.

==Background==

Basically, Chris became enraged with jealousy that [[Liquid Chris]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and cum all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Chris was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] Chris has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Chris, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Chris in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr. and Mrs. D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Chris==

On 3 [[August 2009]], Chris sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 4 August 2009, Chris created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Chris tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

On a few occasions, Kacey and Chris have mentioned a meeting which took place between them. Kacey seems to maintain that Chris was disrespectful and perverted during this meeting.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call#Transcript|"First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time."</ref>

==The Love Quest==

Once [[Liquid Chris#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Chris and Kacey began to emerge. In Chris' [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Chris would later officially proclaim his love for her in the creatively titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared.

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Chris graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Chris implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Chris as friends.

However, Chris being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Chris' Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Chris and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Chris got into an [[Father Call|argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris' chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing to go and ''shoot'' Liquid Chris. Horrified, Kacey scorned Chris for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Chris would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

With the release of [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|the ''actual'' final phone call between Kacey and Chris,]] it is shown that Kacey is very wise about Chris' dealings. Following the end of the call, Kacey makes an assumption about Chris never mentioning her again. While he does in [[CWC is sad]], the very next day after said video, a new video is released where [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|Chris is smiling from ear to ear.]] The very next day. The coincidence is stunning.

==Marriage to Liquid==
Liquid Chris and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Chris tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright papers]], which, as you probably guessed, failed miserably.

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey calls]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
*[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

==References==
<references />

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Love quest}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Template talk:Article of the now

2012-10-25T15:57:26Z

Skullhat: /* Updating the "Article of the now" every week or two? */

Donald Duck impersonation

2012-10-24T14:47:12Z

Skullhat: Cleaned up pointless addition and poor word choices... will research to find sources to make this page more credible.

[[Image:Chris Donald.jpg|thumb|What Donald Duck would probably look like had Chris's impersonation manifested.]]

{{quote|I... oh my God, I'm shaking. '''What''' was that voice? Th- that was Hell...|[[Clyde Cash]]<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] likes to believes that he is good at '''impersonating Donald [[Duck]].''' His impersonation has been judged as mediocre by most and down right creepy by others. This is mostly due to the fact that Chris does not use appropriate comedic timing to introduce his voice acting. One of the more disturbing uses of this impersonation can be heard in the video [[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Although unlikely, some [[trolls]] maintain that when he worked at [[Wendy's]], he was actually fired for doing this impersonation. Since it might have been one of many grievances that Chris's former employers had, there might be some truth to this claim.

{{quote|Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an [[Twin Falling Towers|offensive joke]]. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ Donald Duck. Quack! Quack!|Dating tips from the guru, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}

This impression is an achievement of which Chris is extremely proud. He even goes so far as to mention it in casual conversation, and [[Dating education|suggests other people to use it when hitting on women]]. Apparently, in Chris's mind, chicks dig unsolicited impersonations of Disney characters. He has probably misunderstood the common practice of showing off one's talents as a means to attract attention. This might impress a ten-year-old, but will not entice [[china]].

Disturbingly, Chris has also been known to do this impersonation whilst [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

On 23 [[August 2011]], Chris sang Donald's famous song "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]" in a misguided attempt to mock [[Jack Thaddeus]]' communist views.<ref>[[Calling Out#Re-Calling Ahuvia]]</ref>
==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Duck]]
*[[The Creepy Stare]]

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]

CWC-isms

2012-10-23T19:58:43Z

Skullhat: Removed pointless hate.

<center>{{Honest}}</center>

One of [[Chris]]'s most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult stuff by its name, Chris often has to resort to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of things a man his age would already be familiar with. While some of them are understandable — after all, even a decrepit elder would probably feel uncomfortable while talking about his [[Butt garments|diapers]] — others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", are capable of turning what would otherwise be a normal sentence into something only juveniles would say. Others are attempts to be clever ([[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|"navy"]] for [[semen]] because it sounds like sea men). Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among [[autism|autistics]], and you get his so-called '''CWCisms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations of words that already exist, entirely new words, or commonplace words used repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Megan Shrine

2012-10-17T17:23:32Z

Skullhat: Expanding with VHS movies.

[[Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|thumb|250px|The Megan Shrine is on the right.]]

The '''Megan Shrine''' is a small shrine in [[Christian's room]], containing drawings and gifts from [[Megan Schroeder]]. The shrine is an excellent example of [[Christian's]] nearly religious obsession for Megan.

Collectively, the contents of the shrine contrast in a strange way with Chris's otherwise intensive efforts to assert his stereotypical masculinity and heterosexuality. It's full of [[My Little Pony]] dolls, stuffed Hello Kitty toys, hyper-feminine shoujo manga like ''Fushigi Yûgi'' and ''Tokyo Mew Mew'', DVDs of ''Wedding Peach'' and other similarly effeminate shoujo [[anime]], ''Sailor Moon'' merchandise, and at least one American live-action chick flick (''The Truth About Cats and Dogs'').

The shrine features different pieces of artwork encased in clear page protectors, organized in two columns, presumably all drawn by Megan. The left column features Megan's original version of [[Patti-Chan]] as well as various Pokemon drawn in a Sonic the Hedgehog art style, while the right one has a drawing of Sailor Moon along with pictures of two of Megan's characters: Spunky Skunk, who would be written into Chris's comics as [[Megagi La Skunk]]; and Hound Howl, who would be adapted into the world of ''Sonichu'' as Canino Houndhowl. Notably, each picture except for those of Sailor Moon and Patti-Chan appear to have been traced from the same source, an official [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] illustration. This indicates that like Chris, Megan found some merit in recoloring the same character. It is not surprising that Megan's traces and redesigns are more complex and of a subjectively higher standard than Chris's.

By [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 19th, 2009|September 19th, 2009]], Chris had removed parts of the shrine, including the gallery of artwork. Almost exactly [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|a year later]], Chris had removed much of the shrine altogether, with the exception of his My Little Ponies.
{{-}}
==Confirmed Objects==
These are the objects which were collected as a result of Megan and her apparent influence over Chris. There may be more objects hidden in the organized chaos of Chris's room.

VHS Tapes:
* Sailor Moon R: The Movie

To the left of the bookshelf the following drawings were hung:

*[[:image:308-Megtune.jpg|Sailor Megtune drawing]]
*[[:image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg|A drawing of Megan as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character The Dark Magician]]
*[[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|A drawing of Chris as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character Dark Magician Girl]]
*[[:image:Megan ace of clubs.JPG|A drawing of Ace of Clubs]], who would later on be incorporated into the comics as [[Patti Chan]].
*A drawing of a Raichu.
*[[:image:319-PendingDoom.jpg|Pending Doom drawing]]
*[[:image:320-Apocolypse.jpg|Apocolypse drawing]]
*[[:image:321-IceCune.jpg|Ice Cune drawing]]

Three drawings were hung to the right of the bookshelf:

*[[:image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon drawing by Megan]]
*[[:image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|Spunky Skunk drawing]], who would later on be retconned in Sonichu as [[Megagi La Skunk]].
*[[:image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl drawing]]. Appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as Canino Houndhowl.

On the bottom of the of the bookshelf three drawings were placed: the covers for ''CWC's Mix Jams '06: Story of My Quest'' [[:image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg|Part 1]] and [[:image:059-CWCJam062Front.jpg|2]] (apparently some kind of a Megan themed CD) with a drawing of Mewtwo between them. Photos of the bookshelf after the Megan Shrine was removed reveal that the drawings at the bottom hid a fifth shelf.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0731-Megan Shrine1.JPG
Image:0732-Megan Shrine2.JPG
Image:0733-Megan Shrine3.JPG
Image:0734-Megan Shrine4.JPG
Image:0735-Megan Shrine5.JPG
Image:0736-Megan Shrine6.JPG
Image:100_2247.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

{{stub}}

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

The End For Real (Kacey call)

2012-10-17T16:42:47Z

Skullhat:

'''The End For Real''' is a phone call which took place between [[Kacey]] and Chris on [[November 2009|10 November 2009]], and led to Kacey severing all connections from Chris, [[Kacey#Marriage to Liquid|Kacey marrying Liquid Chris the following day]], and the resulting [[CWC is Sad|video]] in which Chris tried not to cry over losing his [[Chris and reality|potential]] [[sweetheart]].

It was leaked to the [[CWCki]] on 16 [[February 2011]].

== Part 1 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|NBmE4Z9sUBo}}
| Stardate = 10 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = First
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}}

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris. It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, hey Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I got [[Kim]]'s e-mail, she said to call you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, we need-yeah, uh, I feel like we need to, uh, talk, you know, [[Kacey and Liquid Call|sort out what happened the other night]]. Yeah, I did not mean-I did not mean to ignore you, and I was aware you were there and I'm sorr-I'm sorr-I wanted to call you guys back.
 '''Kacey:''' [speaks over Chris] Well, you didn't really... act like I was there, I, like, I'm pretty sure you just straight-out [[Women's rights|ignored everything I said]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes a strange grunting noise''] Yeah, yeah well let me talk about that. You see, uh, I have, uh, what- one of my problems is that I have [[Wikipedia:Tunnel vision|tunnel vision]]. You know, it's like, uh, when, like, [[Autism|you concentrate on one thing and you're pretty much set until its done]]. And, uh, and Chris was-
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaks over Chris''] It-It-It doesn't matter, it made me feel like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is more important than I was. You were more concerned about what he was saying even though you think they're lies, than what I was saying even though I'm saying the truth. I mean, it's like, it's like you wanted him more than you wanted me.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey... That's not true. That's not true.
 '''Kacey:''' But-But I mean, if you have tunnel vision shouldn't your tunnel vision have been pointed at ''me'' and not ''him''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you see, another one of my flaws is, uh, when I get really [[stressed]] my mind tends to blank out and my problem-solving skills, uh, pretty much, uh, temporary [[Chris and English|[''sic'']]] go down the toilet there. And...it just blank up and it justs really blanks me out, and, don't-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what's very important to me is that I have someone who can defend me, you weren't even defending me at all, you were just [[Chris and anger|screaming]] at him. I need someone who's quick on their feet. I mean, did you realize how much I was hurt last night?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I realize how much you were hurt, um, I'm very sorry about that, I real-I realize what a heel I was.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but did you really realize that, or did someone have to tell you that?
 '''Chris:''' Nope, I realized it. No one had to tell me. [''pause''] I did talk to Kim about it, though.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I know you talked to Kim, she's the one who e-mailed me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yep. But, anyway, Kacey, I do love you. I really do. I'm very sorry I ignored you.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you haven't even tried to contact me until Kim told you to! I mean, how can you say you love me or care about me, and you were just going to, like, okay, I was so hurt, and I, I mean, what would you have done, I mean, if you didn't talk to me? I mean, I could have just gone off and done whatever, you would have been out of sight, out of mind. You couldn't even send a simple e-mail. I mean, it's like you didn't even care that I was hurt or crying or anything.
 '''Chris:''' No, I di-I did care. I just, uh, I was under st-I was under the shock, too.
 '''Kacey:''' What shock? There was no shock!
 '''Chris:''' You know, realizing what a heel I was and how hurt you were...and that made me feel hurt. You know? 'Cause...
 '''Kacey:''' Then, why didn't you try to contact me? You would think you want to if you hurt someone you, um, supposedly love.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I should have, yeah, I should have contacted you sooner. I just feel I-I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' You were too busy playing [[video games]] again, weren't you?
 '''Chris:''' No, I just thought-I just thought that you might need your spa-you might need some space, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I'm hurting so you're just going to let me hurt all alone, or-or-or worse, in your opinion, you were gonna let me be with Chris, I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you were playing video games today anyway, don't lie to me, I know you were.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I played some video games. I played some video games.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Those are more important than me, too! How the heck are you supposed to have a [[girlfriend]] if you can't even talk to her unless her friend tells you to do it? You're just going to sit around and play video games all day, like, I could be hurt or sick or something, and you wouldn't know because your video games are more important.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, you are more important. And if I- [Chris begins to speak, but Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But you're not acting like it at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe I'm not acting like uh guh, m-maybe I'm not giving that impression right now. But Kacey- [Chris is interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' Or ever.
 '''Chris:''' But Kacey, please believe me. You are very important. [[Chris and English|Because you are kind, caring]] [[China|woman]]. And you mean a lot to me. And I would really be hurt if something happened to you. And I will defend you. I really would. [mumbles incoherently]
 '''Kacey:''' But you never listen to me. You don't act like it. These are all just empty, meaningless words to me right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, y-I-I do listen to you.
 '''Kacey:''' No you don't! You haven't stopped eating McDonald's, you haven't gone jogging, you still play video games, you still ignore me. Name one thing that you do listen to me about. ONE thing.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to you, on the fact that I should not go to McDonald's. And I have- [Interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' But I know you've been eating at McDonald's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, uh, well, um, okay, yes, I was eating at McDonald's for a little while.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and it's all fast food, you still go to fast food, I know you do.
 '''Chris:''' [[sigh|*stress sigh*]], I, okay, I have not gone to McDonald's for over a week.
 '''Kacey:''' Or ANY fast food.
 '''Chris:''' [[Lie|I have not gone to any fast food, have not eaten the fast food, for over a week.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Then [[McDonalds|what]] have you been eating? What did you eat tonight?
 '''Chris:''' I have been-I have been eating mostly TV Dinners.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' Like Michelina, or Banquet.
 '''Kacey:''' [[Chris_and_health|Have you looked at the nutritional values of those]]? Most of those are like, 300% sodium. That's just as bad, if not worse, because sodium can be just as bad as fat. Why don't you freshly prepare some food? I mean, even getting something at a deli is better. You should be making meals, you said you could cook. Or was that a lie too?
 '''Chris:''' ...I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why don't you?
 '''Chris:''' Because I-because I don't have the individual ingredients at the time.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous]...Then go buy them.
 '''Chris:''' And I will. I'm going to buy the individual ingredients to make- to make da better food.
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't you already? I mean, if you can't even take the initiative to cook your food... I mean, why haven't you done this throughout your life?! Like, you're just lying to me again to make yourself look better, but I know you're never going to do it! I know you're not.
 '''Chris:''' I am. I am going to do it. I am going to do it. [long, awkward pause] I have been working on making myself better. I have been going out jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like, for like, what? Five minutes? I run five miles, 2.5 at the... least. I mean, you should be able to jog at least two miles by now if you were even trying. And you don't listen to- [Chris tries to speak over her, saying "I am trying."] me when I'm trying to tell you I'm worried about how you're probably losing muscle mass or anything. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I do- I listen to you and like... I-I-I really ap'riciate your concern, but that concern makes me think, and it makes me act... Truly.
 '''Kacey:''' That's- I mean, I saw those [[11042009 51 50|videos when you were trying to lift lemonade...]] Those weren't fifty pounds. I mean, that's not even a workout, anyway, that's not even balanced. Get some real weights. I mean, that's just gonna hurt you, 'cuz you're displacing the weight.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm going to get a pair of fifty pound weights...
 '''Kacey:''' Either way, it shouldn't have been that hard, I mean, you shouldn't have struggled with something that was like what, five, seven pounds?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well maybe I- Okay, I exa- I exa- I likely exaggerated when I said that they were each fifty.
 '''Kacey:''' That's a huge exaggeration! That's a ''big'' difference!
 '''Chris:''' They felt, like, more than twenty pounds apiece.
 '''Kacey:''' Kim said they were ten pounds. I'm not even sure if it's that much.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... okay, I-I do not claim to actually know how many pounds one of those actually is...
 '''Kacey:''' Then you shouldn't have.

== Part 2 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|0SxPP6z8f0g}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' But, it felt like at least twenty.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's not. I'm looking it up on Google right now and it says around eight, ten pounds. I mean, it's just [[Honor roll|simple math and conversion]].
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it to look it up, so you don't look stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I could've- I could've looked it up. I just didn't- I did not think about that. I did not think of that. One of my faults, sometimes I don't think of everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you ever think, cause I'm starting to think you don't, because you've been making a ''lot'' of mistakes lately. And... it's really, really, making ''me'' think. I mean, I'm tired of the excuses.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm ti- I, I don't like excuses either.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why do you make them all the time? That's all you ever do.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, maybe- okay. I have made some excuses in the past.
 '''Kacey:''' You make a ''lot'' of excuses in the past. You make any excuse, you ever do, it's always "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]]," or "I'm thinking about it," like, whenever you say stuff like that I know it's not going to get done. I mean, that's really bad, when... I already ''know'' you're not going to do anything by the words you say. You're just gonna continue to make excuses. You left me alone for several days after you heard how upset I was! The hell? You really think I want a boyfriend like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you ta- yeah, you would not want a boyfriend like that. But, I ca-yeah, I mean I have, I realize that...
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so, you see what I'm saying. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand... what you are saying. And I could be better, and I am willing to improve.
 '''Kacey:''' Sssomehow, I don't really think you're going to.
 '''Chris:''' I am going to improve on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you haven't yet, so... why would I believe you now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long silence]'' Okay, you have every right to question that, but... please believe me, I mean, ya know, one thing that- ya know, I would be, I would be ''glad'' to be there for you, but... I don't know your address.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter, you should be able to be there for me otherwise. You haven't earned that address. I mean, is that really all you've got? I mean... and after that comic, how wo- why would I want to give you my address? You're just going to shoot [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] or me anyway!
 '''Chris:''' I, I promise you, I would not shoot anybody for real. I do not even own a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' Doesn't mean you couldn't get one, I could get a gun and I don't own one.
 '''Chris:''' I do not, I have no intention on getting a real gun in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, but it's so easy to get guns, do you remember the Virginia Tech shooter? It's easy. Doesn't matter, all you need to do is get mad again, then you'll just ignore me anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you that I would not ignore you in the future, even when I get- even when I get... riled up, and angry and [mumbling], I would not ignore you.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you've ignored me enough, don't you think it might be a little too late? I mean, that comic really scared me, I mean, I'm pretty sure... you shot him in the comic so he couldn't follow and take me back. I mean, that's just ''creepy''. That's psychotic. That's delusional.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I, I agree with you, that... I may have some issues to resolve with Chris. Like, you know, I definitely should... like, you know, try... to sit in front of him...
 '''Chris:''' ...and discuss things, calmly...
 '''Kacey:''' You think he's gonna do that after he saw that comic?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, obviously he definitely has other skeletons in his closet-
 '''Kacey:''' This isn't about him; this isn't about him. This is about you. And I'm tired of you talking bad about him.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yeah. I don- I don't like talking bad about people, but-
 '''Kacey:''' But you do all the time!
 '''Chris:''' Well, only... just, only- ok, well.
 '''Kacey:''' Tell me again why you think you're better than him. Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm- because I'm loyal.
 '''Kacey:''' You're not very loyal; you haven't called me. You're not very honest; you lie to me all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Because I tell you- I tell you everything I'm- from my heart. And [when] I tell you I love you, I mean it.
 '''Kacey:''' That's lying. You can't even send me a simple email to make sure I'm OK. Like, I don't think you get how hurt and angry I am, so no, I want something that you're better at him at that is real, because your lies come from your heart too.
 '''Chris:''' [Stuttering incoherently for a rebuttal] Ok, I have made the mistake of lying at-
 '''Kacey:''' A lot.
 '''Chris:''' A lot, a lot, but a lot of the things that I have told you, in the past, were true. I swear, I have told you a lot of truth like you know, like when I tell you about myself on the kind of person I am, those are true. And how I feel about you, that's true, too.
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that?
 '''Chris:''' And my hit-
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know you're not just ready to drop me, because it's easier, or something stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Because... we started out as friends, and I in-
 '''Kacey:''' That's right, friends.
 '''Chris:''' Well, hang on, hang on! We started out as friends with the possibility of a relationship, and I would like a relationship.
 '''Kacey:''' How would we start off as friend with the possibility of a relationship? You lied to me the first time you talked to me.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did the things-
 '''Kacey:''' You pretended to be my boyfriend, my fiance.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did pretend to be Chris. But that was in the case, to let you know, that he was who you- he was not who you thought he was. You know, he was- He ''was'' pretending to be me.
 '''Kacey:''' He wasn't pretending to be you! This is what I don't get. Stop saying he's pretending to be you. Just 'cause you guys have the same name doesn't mean he was pretending to be you, because you two are two totally different people.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yes, we are two totally different people, and I can list the whole number of things that I am and he's no- that he's not that he claims.
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can list the whole things he does that you can't. He can play guitar. He doesn't lie to me. He jogs with me. He does stuff with me. He doesn't sit around and play video games. He has a job. He has a college education. He goes to school. I mean, wh- the hell? I mean, c'mon. Do it, do it. Sho- Tell me. Tell me what's he's not doing and I bet you I can refute everything.
 '''Chris:''' ''[stutters, then sighs]''
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't have anything, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, I can definitely tell you that he did not go to Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is he's in school now. And that he's gonna make himself better.
 '''Chris:''' He is... yes he is, okay, he is...
 '''Kacey:''' His high s- I told you before, high school doesn't matter to me, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you get your education through high school. You need your high school diploma to move on to college...
 '''Kacey:''' Not really, anyone can get their GED and blaze through it. What matters even more than high school education is like your SATs and your ACTs. College is what's important to me. Because that shows a future. I mean, I bet you don't even know what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' I do know, I have a general idea of what a GED is.

== Part 3 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|dGsmT70aDus}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Final]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' It's a sort of degree.
 '''Kacey:''' ...No... It's... in place of a diploma. I mean, did you even take the SAT?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I did take the SAT in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' What was your scores?
 '''Chris:''' ...I do not remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh come on, you've got to remember. Nobody forgets their SAT scores.
 '''Chris:''' It, uh, with a small detail like that, and I felt it was small... it was in one ear and out the other.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, was it- was it above 1100? Was it above 1200? Was it above... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mmm... Ah, yeah, I think it, I think it was... over 1100. [long pause] But that's to the best of my recollection. [[Lie|I swear]].
 '''Kacey:''' So you had something over 1100, but you went to a community college. I mean, did- did you even try to get into a university? Not that I'm saying community colleges are bad, but, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I did- yeah well, yeah, my mom and dad advised me to go ''to'' the community college, because my family could not afford university.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... my- okay, okay, first off... you're on [[Monthly tugboat|disability]]. Government would have paid for your schooling, the end. That's just being lazy. Um, number two, financial aid and student loans. That would have been all on you, not on them. And the thing is, you... should at ''least'' have transferred to university ''after'' the community college cause community college is a stepping stone. Yes, it's a great way to get your classes for cheaper, but then you ''have'' to go to university to get, like, a bachelor's. I mean, did you even look into that?
 '''Chris:''' That had not come to mind. By the way, I ca- by the way, just to let you know, I did check with my mom and dad, I mean... yes, they were in for, of the, of the financial aid, but they...
 '''Kacey:''' Well then your parents should have done something about that, that just shows your parents didn't care about your future either. But it's not up to them. You should have done it, why didn't you use it? ''[talking over Chris]'' I wish I'd had financial aid right way.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Look. I would have taken the financial aid if I-if I could, but my mom and dad, there was a whole lot of stress going on in just starting out at the community college...
 '''Kacey:''' But you still... should have been able to do it later... ''[Chris stutters]'' Don't you overtalk me! Don't overtalk me. That's the thing, it's always stress, it's always stress this stress that. It...doesn't...''matter''. You should have been able to do something ''afterwards''. Even if you didn't do it right away, you should have been able to go to a four-year university afterwards, and gotten something better than just a little [[CADD]] certificate...whatever. An associate's doesn't do ''shit.'' I'm... I mean, like, I'm sick and tired of hearing you use the word "stress." You don't know stress. We've been through this before. You ''don't know'' what stress is.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will not disagree with you...but on the...
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn ''straight'' you're not gonna disagree with me because you know I'm right! You don't have a job, you don't even- you don't have job stress. You...You sit around, play video games, and get... ''money''. If your life was a hundred times more stressful than it is now, you still wouldn't have as much stress as I do, you wouldn't have as much stress as...my ''[[Chandler cats|cat]]'', probably.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, y-you're probably right.
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn straight I'm right! I mean, you take days off where you don't do anything except color or play video games. ''[pause]'' I mean, I don't think you get... that all you have shown me the whole time I've known you, is that you don't want to do anything unless it's easy. You want everything to be handed ''to'' you. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of ambitious. Why would I want someone like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, you're right. I would not want, uh... I would, if I was to... go out with a woman, I, ah, would want one who was a go-getter. And you...
 '''Kacey:''' But the thing is, don't you think go-getters want ''other'' go-getters? Why would I want someone who's just gonna lay at home and suck up my money? I mean, cause that's all it would be, instead of sucking up the government's money you'd be sucking up my money. And, uh, I'm not sure I'd like that. At all. I mean, I don't want to have to take care of someone until I have kids, and you're ''definitely'' not my kid.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' I can definitely, be able- I can definitely take care of myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No you can't! You don't have a job. Can't take care of yourself without a job. My job is hanging on a thread, and I'm still doing way better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, you're doing... way better than me. You know a lot more than I do.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, seriously, tell me: without your parents, could you survive?
 '''Chris:''' I would do my best to survive, and... I think I would get by.
 '''Kacey:''' Really. Your best. Because, I mean... what kind of bills do you think need to be paid off every month?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah... electric, water, heating... that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[pause]'' Um, how about car insurance? Um, [[Television|cable?]]
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, car, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Rent? Property? You got taxes? Um, trash pickup if you have trash? Recycling if you have recycling? Oh, and don't forget any repairs.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, there is all that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how much do you get a month again? Like, what, 600?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm ge- I'm getting... about 800 a month right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Still, my bills are slightly larger than that. I mean, you couldn't survive on your own. And, I mean, these are my bills with ''roommates.'' I don't think you could survive without your parents. You can't even move out! And even if you could move out, you wouldn't have anybody to move out ''with''! That's, that's insane!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is insane. And I...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done something about it?! I have been living out on my own since I was eighteen, nineteen. You are twenty-seven! And you haven't moved out yet!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well one reason is- yeah, I don't have anybody to move out... with.
 '''Kacey:''' I moved out with ''nothing.'' I moved out with no job, hardly any money, without a car, and I still survived. And I got myself a job, and I got myself a car.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, find someone, there's people in craigslist, the newspapers, um universities, everywhere. You can find something. You can find someone who, will just rent a room. And then you don't even need to be around that person. I mean, Hell, you could probably get housing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [stutters] That's true, but ah... If I move out that's actually- I think I could be able to move out.. with my girlfriend. I don't, I mean, I wouldn't want just some other, I don't think- I just wouldn't feel comfortable-
 '''Kacey:''' [cuts in] But be realistic Chris, I mean.
 '''Chris:''' with some kind of stranger...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to know how to live on your own before you go into a relationship. Because if you go straight into, living out with a relationship, it's going to put a strain on there. I mean, you need to know how to deal with strangers, you need to know how to live on your own. I mean if you can't take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in a relationship. You'll just drag it down. Besides, I mean, you shouldn't move out with someone right away anyway, so you should probably live on your own first. I mean, besides, if you keep acting the way you're acting, you aren't likely to get a girlfriend anyway. Besides, if you had your own place to be, it'd be easier, because then there'd be a place for her to move and normally it's the girl who moves in with the guy. [obvious sounds of Kacey being tired from wailing on Chris so much] And ''besides,'' if you can't-

== Part 4 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|qbFaHzrtoo4}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = Final
}}

 '''Kacey:''' even take care of that, how do you expect to take care of a daughter... Which you keep dreaming about. I mean, are you expecting to just marry someone rich?
[''slight pause'']
 '''Chris:''' No, I do not... I- [cut off by Kacey]
 '''Kacey:''' Then how are you gonna take care of her? How are you gonna take care of a daughter?
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_Reality|One day at a time.]]
 '''Kacey:''' No, there is no one day at a time. You-You... There is no one day at a time. You do that, you're going to [[Obesity|starve.]] You need ''plans.'' I mean, that's like Alcoholics Anonymous, that's not living.
 '''Chris:''' [[Alcohol|Well, I mean, at least I don't go out and get drunk every night.]] I don't do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know what, at least those drunks could pay for their drinks. You couldn't even do that! I mean, are you just trying to make yourself look good?
 '''Chris:''' [incoherent mumbling, sounds like he's repeating what Kacey just asked him] Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, stop! It's-It's... I mean, that's- uh, that's stupid!
 '''Chris:''' Well, wait, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' You're comparing apples to oranges!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, maybe I'm misunderstanding the ques- maybe I misunderstood the question. You just said, I mean, I thought you said, uh, "[...]trying to make myself look good."
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you're just trying to make yourself look good by comparing yourself to someone you think is worse than you. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to always do that. That's not adult.
 '''Chris:''' [completely skipping over the latter half of her last statements] Oooh, yeah, okay, yeah, now I understand. I just, mm... okay. Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm... Yeah, but, that is, uh, that is kind of a lame deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, at this point, they're probably better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're pro'lly- Yeah... You're right. A lot of people are better than me. Uh... In situations of being able to take care of him or herselves... Themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, so obviously you're never gonna be able to take care of anyone. Why would girls want that? Girls want [[Liquid_Chris|real men.]] They want somebody who's gonna give them comfort and security. Not saying that the girl shouldn't be making money, too, and helping out, but I mean, nobody wants somebody who's just going to, [scoff] to, just, lay there and do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, oh-kay, look at what I'm being offered with Chris. Look at what I'm being offered with you. If you were me, what would you do?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... Yeah... Probably go to one that's better. But... Lemme just ask you- I mean, I know it's not about Chris, lemme ask you, have you actually ''checked'' his back- his background and actually seen where he works?
 '''Kacey:''' ''Yes!'' And that's why he- I know he's honest with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, you just said it's not about him, but then you made it about him. I mean, I've been to a company lunch with him.
 '''Chris:''' Well, um, I was just askin'. I was just askin'.
 '''Kacey:''' So, I mean, seriously, once again, I mean, who do you think would be the better one?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, [[Liquid_Chris|him.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so why-why do you think I would even give you a chance after all the lies and all the ch-shit you put me through? You ignored me.
 '''Chris:''' I lis- I listen to your every word, I ''did...'' I-I-Okay, well...
 [''Chris and Kacey talk over each other, Kacey comes out victorious'']
 '''Kacey:''' If you listen to it, you definitely didn't do anything about it. I mean, stop lying.
 '''Chris:''' I have been exercising, I have been... going out walking and jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, for five minutes. Not good enough. Totally not good enough.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, not good en-could be better. Could be better.
 '''Kacey:''' Could be ''a LOT'' better. I mean, working is not good enough if you don't push yourself. Then you're not really working on it. Then you're just kinda coasting through it. You're just kinda being half-assed. Do I really seem like the girl who needs someone half-assed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're not the... kinda girl that would want somebody who's... half-assed.
 [''21 second pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just... [sigh] Right now, in my eyes, you're just a horrible human being. You leech off [[Monthly_Tugboat|everyone.]] And I can't stand that, for one, you don't even know the principles of your religion right, which is extremely important to me. You've insulted and hurt my fiancé beyond anything, then you've insulted and hurt me, you've ignored me, you think ''he's'' more important, you've disrespected everyone on [[Twin_Falling_Towers|9/11,]] when, of course, nothing touches YOU, you insulted my father, you insulted my family... You- I mean, you compared my grandmother dying to a [[Patti-chan|DOG.]] A ''dog.'' A mangy, dirty dog. I mean. Oh. My. [[Godjesus#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|GOD.]]
 '''Chris:''' [obviously jumping over everything Kacey just said yet again] Patti was not a mangy, dirty dog... She was a member of my family.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean that she's like my grandmother dying in a terrorist attack. She still a damned dog. I mean, I love my cats and everything, but they're still cats! She was still a damn dog. I mean, fuck you for even COMPARING that to my grandmother dying.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well- kay...
 '''Kacey:''' You don't understand life, you don't understand [[Chris_and_Death|death,]] obviously.
 '''Chris:''' I do understand death. It hurts...
 '''Kacey:''' The thing is, you don't understand. I mean, you're not even going to live to see thirty. Why would I wanna be with someone who I know is going to be dead in four years? Three years? I mean... [sigh] I wouldn't even give you five years. My family hates you, you're lying to me, you're nasty to my friends, you lie to my friends. I mean, don't think I don't know that you don't lie to Kim. Don't think I don't know that you don't lie to me! I don't think you'd have luck with anyone, to tell you the truth. So you can not tell me that you want me to be with you or that you love me because you're just gonna die wasting your life playing video games and doing nothing. I mean, even though a [[CADD]] degree isn't much, you haven't done anything with it. You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want. You definitely didn't fight for me, so you know what? I don't need this at all. This is totally not what I need. I mean, fuck you, I don't even wanna be friends, because you are a total waste of space. I mean, you disrespect everyone. And you know what? I'm getting married tomorrow, 2PM. You know what, and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an [[Nudes|ass,]] I wouldn't see what a great person Chris is and how much he really does love me 'cause I had someone to compare him to, who doesn't give a [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] about me, who only loves his video games and himself. So you know what? You- Just- You know what? I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you know what, won't hurt about this, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|you'll be over this by tomorrow]]. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! So you know what, I'm going to go ahead and get married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. Y'should probably call up, you know, an institution, therapy, something, because, I mean, you're gonna be the five- doing the same thing in five minutes. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet you anything I'm gonna see a new video being like, "Oh, who the hell was Kacey? I'm going after..." I don't even care anymore. I. Don't. Care. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy, so you know what? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna go off with someone else because, I mean, you've already shown me that, you've already shown me that, sooo... Have fun making a video about meeting a new girlfriend, because I'm done.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh...
 '''Kacey:''' Peace out.
 [''tape ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]|nextlink=[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]|Final]]}}

==External links==

<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?ndn74hjg72t3bb8 Download call (MP3)]</s> Deleted.

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

The End For Real (Kacey call)

2012-10-17T16:41:49Z

Skullhat: Restructured and replaced 4-part videos because I'm a lazy asshole and don't want to re-upload the 3 part version.

'''The End For Real''' is a phone call which took place between [[Kacey]] and Chris on [[November 2009|10 November 2009]], and led to Kacey severing all connections from Chris, [[Kacey#Marriage to Liquid|Kacey marrying Liquid Chris the following day]], and the resulting [[CWC is Sad|video]] in which Chris tried not to cry over losing his [[Chris and reality|potential]] [[sweetheart]].

It was leaked to the [[CWCki]] on 16 [[February 2011]].

== Part 1 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|NBmE4Z9sUBo}}
| Stardate = 10 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = First
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}}

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris. It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, hey Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I got [[Kim]]'s e-mail, she said to call you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, we need-yeah, uh, I feel like we need to, uh, talk, you know, [[Kacey and Liquid Call|sort out what happened the other night]]. Yeah, I did not mean-I did not mean to ignore you, and I was aware you were there and I'm sorr-I'm sorr-I wanted to call you guys back.
 '''Kacey:''' [speaks over Chris] Well, you didn't really... act like I was there, I, like, I'm pretty sure you just straight-out [[Women's rights|ignored everything I said]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes a strange grunting noise''] Yeah, yeah well let me talk about that. You see, uh, I have, uh, what- one of my problems is that I have [[Wikipedia:Tunnel vision|tunnel vision]]. You know, it's like, uh, when, like, [[Autism|you concentrate on one thing and you're pretty much set until its done]]. And, uh, and Chris was-
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaks over Chris''] It-It-It doesn't matter, it made me feel like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is more important than I was. You were more concerned about what he was saying even though you think they're lies, than what I was saying even though I'm saying the truth. I mean, it's like, it's like you wanted him more than you wanted me.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey... That's not true. That's not true.
 '''Kacey:''' But-But I mean, if you have tunnel vision shouldn't your tunnel vision have been pointed at ''me'' and not ''him''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you see, another one of my flaws is, uh, when I get really [[stressed]] my mind tends to blank out and my problem-solving skills, uh, pretty much, uh, temporary [[Chris and English|[''sic'']]] go down the toilet there. And...it just blank up and it justs really blanks me out, and, don't-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what's very important to me is that I have someone who can defend me, you weren't even defending me at all, you were just [[Chris and anger|screaming]] at him. I need someone who's quick on their feet. I mean, did you realize how much I was hurt last night?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I realize how much you were hurt, um, I'm very sorry about that, I real-I realize what a heel I was.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but did you really realize that, or did someone have to tell you that?
 '''Chris:''' Nope, I realized it. No one had to tell me. [''pause''] I did talk to Kim about it, though.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I know you talked to Kim, she's the one who e-mailed me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yep. But, anyway, Kacey, I do love you. I really do. I'm very sorry I ignored you.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you haven't even tried to contact me until Kim told you to! I mean, how can you say you love me or care about me, and you were just going to, like, okay, I was so hurt, and I, I mean, what would you have done, I mean, if you didn't talk to me? I mean, I could have just gone off and done whatever, you would have been out of sight, out of mind. You couldn't even send a simple e-mail. I mean, it's like you didn't even care that I was hurt or crying or anything.
 '''Chris:''' No, I di-I did care. I just, uh, I was under st-I was under the shock, too.
 '''Kacey:''' What shock? There was no shock!
 '''Chris:''' You know, realizing what a heel I was and how hurt you were...and that made me feel hurt. You know? 'Cause...
 '''Kacey:''' Then, why didn't you try to contact me? You would think you want to if you hurt someone you, um, supposedly love.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I should have, yeah, I should have contacted you sooner. I just feel I-I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' You were too busy playing [[video games]] again, weren't you?
 '''Chris:''' No, I just thought-I just thought that you might need your spa-you might need some space, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I'm hurting so you're just going to let me hurt all alone, or-or-or worse, in your opinion, you were gonna let me be with Chris, I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you were playing video games today anyway, don't lie to me, I know you were.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I played some video games. I played some video games.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Those are more important than me, too! How the heck are you supposed to have a [[girlfriend]] if you can't even talk to her unless her friend tells you to do it? You're just going to sit around and play video games all day, like, I could be hurt or sick or something, and you wouldn't know because your video games are more important.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, you are more important. And if I- [Chris begins to speak, but Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But you're not acting like it at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe I'm not acting like uh guh, m-maybe I'm not giving that impression right now. But Kacey- [Chris is interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' Or ever.
 '''Chris:''' But Kacey, please believe me. You are very important. [[Chris and English|Because you are kind, caring]] [[China|woman]]. And you mean a lot to me. And I would really be hurt if something happened to you. And I will defend you. I really would. [mumbles incoherently]
 '''Kacey:''' But you never listen to me. You don't act like it. These are all just empty, meaningless words to me right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, y-I-I do listen to you.
 '''Kacey:''' No you don't! You haven't stopped eating McDonald's, you haven't gone jogging, you still play video games, you still ignore me. Name one thing that you do listen to me about. ONE thing.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to you, on the fact that I should not go to McDonald's. And I have- [Interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' But I know you've been eating at McDonald's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, uh, well, um, okay, yes, I was eating at McDonald's for a little while.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and it's all fast food, you still go to fast food, I know you do.
 '''Chris:''' [[sigh|*stress sigh*]], I, okay, I have not gone to McDonald's for over a week.
 '''Kacey:''' Or ANY fast food.
 '''Chris:''' [[Lie|I have not gone to any fast food, have not eaten the fast food, for over a week.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Then [[McDonalds|what]] have you been eating? What did you eat tonight?
 '''Chris:''' I have been-I have been eating mostly TV Dinners.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' Like Michelina, or Banquet.
 '''Kacey:''' [[Chris_and_health|Have you looked at the nutritional values of those]]? Most of those are like, 300% sodium. That's just as bad, if not worse, because sodium can be just as bad as fat. Why don't you freshly prepare some food? I mean, even getting something at a deli is better. You should be making meals, you said you could cook. Or was that a lie too?
 '''Chris:''' ...I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why don't you?
 '''Chris:''' Because I-because I don't have the individual ingredients at the time.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous]...Then go buy them.
 '''Chris:''' And I will. I'm going to buy the individual ingredients to make- to make da better food.
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't you already? I mean, if you can't even take the initiative to cook your food... I mean, why haven't you done this throughout your life?! Like, you're just lying to me again to make yourself look better, but I know you're never going to do it! I know you're not.
 '''Chris:''' I am. I am going to do it. I am going to do it. [long, awkward pause] I have been working on making myself better. I have been going out jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like, for like, what? Five minutes? I run five miles, 2.5 at the... least. I mean, you should be able to jog at least two miles by now if you were even trying. And you don't listen to- [Chris tries to speak over her, saying "I am trying."] me when I'm trying to tell you I'm worried about how you're probably losing muscle mass or anything. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I do- I listen to you and like... I-I-I really ap'riciate your concern, but that concern makes me think, and it makes me act... Truly.
 '''Kacey:''' That's- I mean, I saw those [[11042009 51 50|videos when you were trying to lift lemonade...]] Those weren't fifty pounds. I mean, that's not even a workout, anyway, that's not even balanced. Get some real weights. I mean, that's just gonna hurt you, 'cuz you're displacing the weight.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm going to get a pair of fifty pound weights...
 '''Kacey:''' Either way, it shouldn't have been that hard, I mean, you shouldn't have struggled with something that was like what, five, seven pounds?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well maybe I- Okay, I exa- I exa- I likely exaggerated when I said that they were each fifty.
 '''Kacey:''' That's a huge exaggeration! That's a ''big'' difference!
 '''Chris:''' They felt, like, more than twenty pounds apiece.
 '''Kacey:''' Kim said they were ten pounds. I'm not even sure if it's that much.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... okay, I-I do not claim to actually know how many pounds one of those actually is...
 '''Kacey:''' Then you shouldn't have.

== Part 2 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|0SxPP6z8f0g}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' But, it felt like at least twenty.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's not. I'm looking it up on Google right now and it says around eight, ten pounds. I mean, it's just [[Honor roll|simple math and conversion]].
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it to look it up, so you don't look stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I could've- I could've looked it up. I just didn't- I did not think about that. I did not think of that. One of my faults, sometimes I don't think of everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you ever think, cause I'm starting to think you don't, because you've been making a ''lot'' of mistakes lately. And... it's really, really, making ''me'' think. I mean, I'm tired of the excuses.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm ti- I, I don't like excuses either.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why do you make them all the time? That's all you ever do.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, maybe- okay. I have made some excuses in the past.
 '''Kacey:''' You make a ''lot'' of excuses in the past. You make any excuse, you ever do, it's always "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]]," or "I'm thinking about it," like, whenever you say stuff like that I know it's not going to get done. I mean, that's really bad, when... I already ''know'' you're not going to do anything by the words you say. You're just gonna continue to make excuses. You left me alone for several days after you heard how upset I was! The hell? You really think I want a boyfriend like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you ta- yeah, you would not want a boyfriend like that. But, I ca-yeah, I mean I have, I realize that...
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so, you see what I'm saying. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand... what you are saying. And I could be better, and I am willing to improve.
 '''Kacey:''' Sssomehow, I don't really think you're going to.
 '''Chris:''' I am going to improve on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you haven't yet, so... why would I believe you now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long silence]'' Okay, you have every right to question that, but... please believe me, I mean, ya know, one thing that- ya know, I would be, I would be ''glad'' to be there for you, but... I don't know your address.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter, you should be able to be there for me otherwise. You haven't earned that address. I mean, is that really all you've got? I mean... and after that comic, how wo- why would I want to give you my address? You're just going to shoot [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] or me anyway!
 '''Chris:''' I, I promise you, I would not shoot anybody for real. I do not even own a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' Doesn't mean you couldn't get one, I could get a gun and I don't own one.
 '''Chris:''' I do not, I have no intention on getting a real gun in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, but it's so easy to get guns, do you remember the Virginia Tech shooter? It's easy. Doesn't matter, all you need to do is get mad again, then you'll just ignore me anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you that I would not ignore you in the future, even when I get- even when I get... riled up, and angry and [mumbling], I would not ignore you.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you've ignored me enough, don't you think it might be a little too late? I mean, that comic really scared me, I mean, I'm pretty sure... you shot him in the comic so he couldn't follow and take me back. I mean, that's just ''creepy''. That's psychotic. That's delusional.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I, I agree with you, that... I may have some issues to resolve with Chris. Like, you know, I definitely should... like, you know, try... to sit in front of him...
 '''Chris:''' ...and discuss things, calmly...
 '''Kacey:''' You think he's gonna do that after he saw that comic?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, obviously he definitely has other skeletons in his closet-
 '''Kacey:''' This isn't about him; this isn't about him. This is about you. And I'm tired of you talking bad about him.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yeah. I don- I don't like talking bad about people, but-
 '''Kacey:''' But you do all the time!
 '''Chris:''' Well, only... just, only- ok, well.
 '''Kacey:''' Tell me again why you think you're better than him. Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm- because I'm loyal.
 '''Kacey:''' You're not very loyal; you haven't called me. You're not very honest; you lie to me all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Because I tell you- I tell you everything I'm- from my heart. And [when] I tell you I love you, I mean it.
 '''Kacey:''' That's lying. You can't even send me a simple email to make sure I'm OK. Like, I don't think you get how hurt and angry I am, so no, I want something that you're better at him at that is real, because your lies come from your heart too.
 '''Chris:''' [Stuttering incoherently for a rebuttal] Ok, I have made the mistake of lying at-
 '''Kacey:''' A lot.
 '''Chris:''' A lot, a lot, but a lot of the things that I have told you, in the past, were true. I swear, I have told you a lot of truth like you know, like when I tell you about myself on the kind of person I am, those are true. And how I feel about you, that's true, too.
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that?
 '''Chris:''' And my hit-
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know you're not just ready to drop me, because it's easier, or something stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Because... we started out as friends, and I in-
 '''Kacey:''' That's right, friends.
 '''Chris:''' Well, hang on, hang on! We started out as friends with the possibility of a relationship, and I would like a relationship.
 '''Kacey:''' How would we start off as friend with the possibility of a relationship? You lied to me the first time you talked to me.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did the things-
 '''Kacey:''' You pretended to be my boyfriend, my fiance.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did pretend to be Chris. But that was in the case, to let you know, that he was who you- he was not who you thought he was. You know, he was- He ''was'' pretending to be me.
 '''Kacey:''' He wasn't pretending to be you! This is what I don't get. Stop saying he's pretending to be you. Just 'cause you guys have the same name doesn't mean he was pretending to be you, because you two are two totally different people.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yes, we are two totally different people, and I can list the whole number of things that I am and he's no- that he's not that he claims.
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can list the whole things he does that you can't. He can play guitar. He doesn't lie to me. He jogs with me. He does stuff with me. He doesn't sit around and play video games. He has a job. He has a college education. He goes to school. I mean, wh- the hell? I mean, c'mon. Do it, do it. Sho- Tell me. Tell me what's he's not doing and I bet you I can refute everything.
 '''Chris:''' ''[stutters, then sighs]''
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't have anything, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, I can definitely tell you that he did not go to Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is he's in school now. And that he's gonna make himself better.
 '''Chris:''' He is... yes he is, okay, he is...
 '''Kacey:''' His high s- I told you before, high school doesn't matter to me, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you get your education through high school. You need your high school diploma to move on to college...
 '''Kacey:''' Not really, anyone can get their GED and blaze through it. What matters even more than high school education is like your SATs and your ACTs. College is what's important to me. Because that shows a future. I mean, I bet you don't even know what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' I do know, I have a general idea of what a GED is.

== Part 3 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|dGsmT70aDus}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Final]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' It's a sort of degree.
 '''Kacey:''' ...No... It's... in place of a diploma. I mean, did you even take the SAT?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I did take the SAT in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' What was your scores?
 '''Chris:''' ...I do not remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh come on, you've got to remember. Nobody forgets their SAT scores.
 '''Chris:''' It, uh, with a small detail like that, and I felt it was small... it was in one ear and out the other.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, was it- was it above 1100? Was it above 1200? Was it above... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mmm... Ah, yeah, I think it, I think it was... over 1100. [long pause] But that's to the best of my recollection. [[Lie|I swear]].
 '''Kacey:''' So you had something over 1100, but you went to a community college. I mean, did- did you even try to get into a university? Not that I'm saying community colleges are bad, but, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I did- yeah well, yeah, my mom and dad advised me to go ''to'' the community college, because my family could not afford university.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... my- okay, okay, first off... you're on [[Monthly tugboat|disability]]. Government would have paid for your schooling, the end. That's just being lazy. Um, number two, financial aid and student loans. That would have been all on you, not on them. And the thing is, you... should at ''least'' have transferred to university ''after'' the community college cause community college is a stepping stone. Yes, it's a great way to get your classes for cheaper, but then you ''have'' to go to university to get, like, a bachelor's. I mean, did you even look into that?
 '''Chris:''' That had not come to mind. By the way, I ca- by the way, just to let you know, I did check with my mom and dad, I mean... yes, they were in for, of the, of the financial aid, but they...
 '''Kacey:''' Well then your parents should have done something about that, that just shows your parents didn't care about your future either. But it's not up to them. You should have done it, why didn't you use it? ''[talking over Chris]'' I wish I'd had financial aid right way.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Look. I would have taken the financial aid if I-if I could, but my mom and dad, there was a whole lot of stress going on in just starting out at the community college...
 '''Kacey:''' But you still... should have been able to do it later... ''[Chris stutters]'' Don't you overtalk me! Don't overtalk me. That's the thing, it's always stress, it's always stress this stress that. It...doesn't...''matter''. You should have been able to do something ''afterwards''. Even if you didn't do it right away, you should have been able to go to a four-year university afterwards, and gotten something better than just a little [[CADD]] certificate...whatever. An associate's doesn't do ''shit.'' I'm... I mean, like, I'm sick and tired of hearing you use the word "stress." You don't know stress. We've been through this before. You ''don't know'' what stress is.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will not disagree with you...but on the...
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn ''straight'' you're not gonna disagree with me because you know I'm right! You don't have a job, you don't even- you don't have job stress. You...You sit around, play video games, and get... ''money''. If your life was a hundred times more stressful than it is now, you still wouldn't have as much stress as I do, you wouldn't have as much stress as...my ''[[Chandler cats|cat]]'', probably.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, y-you're probably right.
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn straight I'm right! I mean, you take days off where you don't do anything except color or play video games. ''[pause]'' I mean, I don't think you get... that all you have shown me the whole time I've known you, is that you don't want to do anything unless it's easy. You want everything to be handed ''to'' you. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of ambitious. Why would I want someone like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, you're right. I would not want, uh... I would, if I was to... go out with a woman, I, ah, would want one who was a go-getter. And you...
 '''Kacey:''' But the thing is, don't you think go-getters want ''other'' go-getters? Why would I want someone who's just gonna lay at home and suck up my money? I mean, cause that's all it would be, instead of sucking up the government's money you'd be sucking up my money. And, uh, I'm not sure I'd like that. At all. I mean, I don't want to have to take care of someone until I have kids, and you're ''definitely'' not my kid.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' I can definitely, be able- I can definitely take care of myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No you can't! You don't have a job. Can't take care of yourself without a job. My job is hanging on a thread, and I'm still doing way better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, you're doing... way better than me. You know a lot more than I do.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, seriously, tell me: without your parents, could you survive?
 '''Chris:''' I would do my best to survive, and... I think I would get by.
 '''Kacey:''' Really. Your best. Because, I mean... what kind of bills do you think need to be paid off every month?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah... electric, water, heating... that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[pause]'' Um, how about car insurance? Um, [[Television|cable?]]
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, car, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Rent? Property? You got taxes? Um, trash pickup if you have trash? Recycling if you have recycling? Oh, and don't forget any repairs.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, there is all that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how much do you get a month again? Like, what, 600?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm ge- I'm getting... about 800 a month right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Still, my bills are slightly larger than that. I mean, you couldn't survive on your own. And, I mean, these are my bills with ''roommates.'' I don't think you could survive without your parents. You can't even move out! And even if you could move out, you wouldn't have anybody to move out ''with''! That's, that's insane!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is insane. And I...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done something about it?! I have been living out on my own since I was eighteen, nineteen. You are twenty-seven! And you haven't moved out yet!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well one reason is- yeah, I don't have anybody to move out... with.
 '''Kacey:''' I moved out with ''nothing.'' I moved out with no job, hardly any money, without a car, and I still survived. And I got myself a job, and I got myself a car.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, find someone, there's people in craigslist, the newspapers, um universities, everywhere. You can find something. You can find someone who, will just rent a room. And then you don't even need to be around that person. I mean, Hell, you could probably get housing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [stutters] That's true, but ah... If I move out that's actually- I think I could be able to move out.. with my girlfriend. I don't, I mean, I wouldn't want just some other, I don't think- I just wouldn't feel comfortable-
 '''Kacey:''' [cuts in] But be realistic Chris, I mean.
 '''Chris:''' with some kind of stranger...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to know how to live on your own before you go into a relationship. Because if you go straight into, living out with a relationship, it's going to put a strain on there. I mean, you need to know how to deal with strangers, you need to know how to live on your own. I mean if you can't take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in a relationship. You'll just drag it down. Besides, I mean, you shouldn't move out with someone right away anyway, so you should probably live on your own first. I mean, besides, if you keep acting the way you're acting, you aren't likely to get a girlfriend anyway. Besides, if you had your own place to be, it'd be easier, because then there'd be a place for her to move and normally it's the girl who moves in with the guy. [obvious sounds of Kacey being tired from wailing on Chris so much] And ''besides,'' if you can't-

== Part 4 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|qbFaHzrtoo4}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = Final
}}

 '''Kacey:''' even take care of that, how do you expect to take care of a daughter... Which you keep dreaming about. I mean, are you expecting to just marry someone rich?
[''slight pause'']
 '''Chris:''' No, I do not... I- [cut off by Kacey]
 '''Kacey:''' Then how are you gonna take care of her? How are you gonna take care of a daughter?
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_Reality|One day at a time.]]
 '''Kacey:''' No, there is no one day at a time. You-You... There is no one day at a time. You do that, you're going to [[Obesity|starve.]] You need ''plans.'' I mean, that's like Alcoholics Anonymous, that's not living.
 '''Chris:''' [[Alcohol|Well, I mean, at least I don't go out and get drunk every night.]] I don't do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know what, at least those drunks could pay for their drinks. You couldn't even do that! I mean, are you just trying to make yourself look good?
 '''Chris:''' [incoherent mumbling, sounds like he's repeating what Kacey just asked him] Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, stop! It's-It's... I mean, that's- uh, that's stupid!
 '''Chris:''' Well, wait, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' You're comparing apples to oranges!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, maybe I'm misunderstanding the ques- maybe I misunderstood the question. You just said, I mean, I thought you said, uh, "[...]trying to make myself look good."
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you're just trying to make yourself look good by comparing yourself to someone you think is worse than you. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to always do that. That's not adult.
 '''Chris:''' [completely skipping over the latter half of her last statements] Oooh, yeah, okay, yeah, now I understand. I just, mm... okay. Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm... Yeah, but, that is, uh, that is kind of a lame deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, at this point, they're probably better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're pro'lly- Yeah... You're right. A lot of people are better than me. Uh... In situations of being able to take care of him or herselves... Themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, so obviously you're never gonna be able to take care of anyone. Why would girls want that? Girls want [[Liquid_Chris|real men.]] They want somebody who's gonna give them comfort and security. Not saying that the girl shouldn't be making money, too, and helping out, but I mean, nobody wants somebody who's just going to, [scoff] to, just, lay there and do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, oh-kay, look at what I'm being offered with Chris. Look at what I'm being offered with you. If you were me, what would you do?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... Yeah... Probably go to one that's better. But... Lemme just ask you- I mean, I know it's not about Chris, lemme ask you, have you actually ''checked'' his back- his background and actually seen where he works?
 '''Kacey:''' ''Yes!'' And that's why he- I know he's honest with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, you just said it's not about him, but then you made it about him. I mean, I've been to a company lunch with him.
 '''Chris:''' Well, um, I was just askin'. I was just askin'.
 '''Kacey:''' So, I mean, seriously, once again, I mean, who do you think would be the better one?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, [[Liquid_Chris|him.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so why-why do you think I would even give you a chance after all the lies and all the ch-shit you put me through? You ignored me.
 '''Chris:''' I lis- I listen to your every word, I ''did...'' I-I-Okay, well...
 [''Chris and Kacey talk over each other, Kacey comes out victorious'']
 '''Kacey:''' If you listen to it, you definitely didn't do anything about it. I mean, stop lying.
 '''Chris:''' I have been exercising, I have been... going out walking and jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, for five minutes. Not good enough. Totally not good enough.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, not good en-could be better. Could be better.
 '''Kacey:''' Could be ''a LOT'' better. I mean, working is not good enough if you don't push yourself. Then you're not really working on it. Then you're just kinda coasting through it. You're just kinda being half-assed. Do I really seem like the girl who needs someone half-assed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're not the... kinda girl that would want somebody who's... half-assed.
 [''21 second pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just... [sigh] Right now, in my eyes, you're just a horrible human being. You leech off [[Monthly_Tugboat|everyone.]] And I can't stand that, for one, you don't even know the principles of your religion right, which is extremely important to me. You've insulted and hurt my fiancé beyond anything, then you've insulted and hurt me, you've ignored me, you think ''he's'' more important, you've disrespected everyone on [[Twin_Falling_Towers|9/11,]] when, of course, nothing touches YOU, you insulted my father, you insulted my family... You- I mean, you compared my grandmother dying to a [[Patti-chan|DOG.]] A ''dog.'' A mangy, dirty dog. I mean. Oh. My. [[Godjesus#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|GOD.]]
 '''Chris:''' [obviously jumping over everything Kacey just said yet again] Patti was not a mangy, dirty dog... She was a member of my family.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean that she's like my grandmother dying in a terrorist attack. She still a damned dog. I mean, I love my cats and everything, but they're still cats! She was still a damn dog. I mean, fuck you for even COMPARING that to my grandmother dying.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well- kay...
 '''Kacey:''' You don't understand life, you don't understand [[Chris_and_Death|death,]] obviously.
 '''Chris:''' I do understand death. It hurts...
 '''Kacey:''' The thing is, you don't understand. I mean, you're not even going to live to see thirty. Why would I wanna be with someone who I know is going to be dead in four years? Three years? I mean... [sigh] I wouldn't even give you five years. My family hates you, you're lying to me, you're nasty to my friends, you lie to my friends. I mean, don't think I don't know that you don't lie to Kim. Don't think I don't know that you don't lie to me! I don't think you'd have luck with anyone, to tell you the truth. So you can not tell me that you want me to be with you or that you love me because you're just gonna die wasting your life playing video games and doing nothing. I mean, even though a [[CADD]] degree isn't much, you haven't done anything with it. You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want. You definitely didn't fight for me, so you know what? I don't need this at all. This is totally not what I need. I mean, fuck you, I don't even wanna be friends, because you are a total waste of space. I mean, you disrespect everyone. And you know what? I'm getting married tomorrow, 2PM. You know what, and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an [[Nudes|ass,]] I wouldn't see what a great person Chris is and how much he really does love me 'cause I had someone to compare him to, who doesn't give a [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] about me, who only loves his video games and himself. So you know what? You- Just- You know what? I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you know what, won't hurt about this, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|you'll be over this by tomorrow]]. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! So you know what, I'm going to go ahead and get married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. Y'should probably call up, you know, an institution, therapy, something, because, I mean, you're gonna be the five- doing the same thing in five minutes. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet you anything I'm gonna see a new video being like, "Oh, who the hell was Kacey? I'm going after..." I don't even care anymore. I. Don't. Care. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy, so you know what? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna go off with someone else because, I mean, you've already shown me that, you've already shown me that, sooo... Have fun making a video about meeting a new girlfriend, because I'm done.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh...
 '''Kacey:''' Peace out.
 [''tape ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]|nextlink=[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]|Final]]}}

==External links==

<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?ndn74hjg72t3bb8 Download call (MP3)]</s> Deleted.

TEMPORARY LINKS:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBmE4Z9sUBo&feature=plcp Part 1]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SxPP6z8f0g&feature=plcp Part 2]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGsmT70aDus&feature=plcp Part 3]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbFaHzrtoo4&feature=plcp Part 4]
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

User:Skullhat

2012-10-17T13:59:36Z

Skullhat:

= Vanquisher of ED Nonsense =
:My primary purpose here at the CWCki is to clean the unnecessary insults and slander from pages. My edits will remove outlandish claims against those featured in the CWCki (namely Chris). I will keep intelligent speculation to provoke future research but I feel the CWCki must be maintained as a relatively scientific and coherent database of all things Christian Weston Chandler. I will do my best to keep TRUE and HONEST content and combat excessive profanities and biases against those featured in the CWCki (...again, namely the big CWC).

== Please Keep It CLEAN ==
In the words of CWC... Bad CWCki etiquette is [[CWC Update 12 August 2009|Not AWWWRIGHT]]:
<blockquote>
No gross, ED, /b/tard-like behaviour! It is so wrong! I mean, we at the CWCki are like family men... even though we aren't married, we have minds like family men. I mean look at wikipedia, it's a family man. You think it does that with his articles? Are you stupid?! What about open source stuff? You think they do that stuff with...even their documentation? Egh.
</blockquote>

=== Notes About Me ===
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Armchair Psychologist}}

>mfw I will never be Chris, sitting in his room playing Animal Crossing one cold November morning. Completely ignorant of the litany of horrors and struggles of those out in the real world. Sitting on his bed or chair, warmed by goodwill sweaters, insulated from the cold and the scary world by thick walls of toys and memories from the late 80's through to the early 2000's.

>mfw I realize the mind numbing boredom that Chris's life is... day after day, year after year of the same old room, the same old house, the same old Bob (R.I.P.) and Barb, the same old cats, the lack of challenges. The mediocre stimulation of video games, expansion of Cwcville, and mass-debating being the only things to pass the time.

>mfw I think about how many times Chris has actually changed his bed sheets.

>mfw I catch autism from researching Chris too much on the internet.

>mfw I have listened to and researched Chris so much that I find his voice calming and his Animal Crossing documentary will actually put me to sleep.

User:Skullhat

2012-10-17T13:53:07Z

Skullhat:

= Vanquisher of ED Nonsense =
:My primary purpose here at the CWCki is to clean the unnecessary insults and slander from pages. My edits will remove outlandish claims against those featured in the CWCki (namely Chris). I will keep intelligent speculation to provoke future research but I feel the CWCki must be maintained as a relatively scientific and coherent database of all things Christian Weston Chandler. I will do my best to keep TRUE and HONEST content and combat excessive profanities and biases against those featured in the CWCki (...again, namely the big CWC).

== Please Keep It CLEAN ==
In the words of CWC... Bad CWCki etiquette is [[CWC Update 12 August 2009|Not AWWWRIGHT]]:
<blockquote>
No gross, ED, /b/tard-like behaviour! It is so wrong! I mean, we at the CWCki are like family men... even though we aren't married, we have minds like family men. I mean look at wikipedia, it's a family man. You think it does that with his articles? Are you stupid?! What about open source stuff? You think they do that stuff with...even their documentation? Egh.
</blockquote>

=== Notes About Me ===
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Armchair Psychologist}}

>mfw I will never be Chris, sitting in his room playing Animal Crossing one cold November morning. Completely ignorant of the litany of horrors and struggles of those out in the real world. Sitting on his bed or chair, warmed by goodwill sweaters, insulated from the cold and the scary world by thick walls of toys and memories from the late 80's through to the early 2000's.

>mfw I realize the mind numbing boredom that Chris's life is... day after day, year after year of the same old room, the same old house, the same old Bob (R.I.P.) and Barb, the same old cats, the lack of challenges. The mediocre stimulation of video games, expansion of Cwcville, and mass-debating being the only things to pass the time.

>mfw I think about how many times Chris has actually changed his bed sheets.

>mfw I catch autism from researching Chris too much on the internet.

>mfw I have listened and researched Chris so much that I find his voice calming and his Animal Crossing documentary will put me to sleep.

EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2012-10-17T13:28:08Z

Skullhat: /* Transcript */

'''EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW''' is a video in which [[Chris]] informs his former classmates that he wishes to organize a [[Manchester High School]] reunion very soon, seemingly unaware both that his organizational skills lack the capacity to plan a good prom and that a reunion for his year already has been planned.

After his plea, Chris goes on to claim that divine retribution is coming for the [[trolls]], tells a hilarious joke about his visibly growing girth and gives advice on how to avoid being trolled. The best part is where he urges the viewers to keep their private information off the internet only ''moments'' after giving out his [[Christian Weston Chandler|real name]], [[14 Branchland Court|full street address]] and [[Prank calls|phone number]] ''yet again''. Chris also claims to be a "Trollbuster", part of a mysterious and unknown group [[Chris and his Ego|working worldwide to stop trolling and cyberbullying]].

The video came after almost three months of radio silence from Chris, but, aside from a [[hair]]line that has receded considerably and a new [[Chris and fashion|wardrobe]], it is obvious that nothing about him has changed.

==Tags==
{{quotebox|surfing school [[education]] [[internet]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|safety]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|exclusive]] [[A CWC Audition|leak]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|leaked]] reunion class [[2000]] [[bug|y2k]]}}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eo_EBLySXyc}}
| stardate = 27 [[August 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Reunion}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}
| previous = [[June062010.MOV]]
| next = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]
}}

{{quote|The reunion hasn't happened yet. And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised...}}

=== Transcript ===

''The video opens with Chris holding a digitally edited picture of the rear of his [[ModNation Racers]] School Bus shakily in front of the camera for approximately nine seconds. The bus has "[[Chris and his Ego|CWC]]" splashed across the top, with a license plate "[[USA]]" in red, white and blue. When he finally speaks, he is holding up a Manchester High Yearbook much as he once held [[It's UGH!|Optimus Prime]]. His tone is wistful and nostalgic.''

Hello. I am well known on the [[Internet]], sadly. I am Christian Weston Chandler of... Ruckersville, Virginia. I was a Manchester High School student, graduated class of 2000. [''brief pause, [[Pedo-glasses|dramatic glasses removal]]''] Aaand, I am looking into having the reunion... or putting it together. Because I have not heard from anyone about it... not even from the principal of Manchester High. Of which... so in that- so with that I-... I am looking to- I am looking out... I am looking out to everyone, to... all, to my class- to my 2000 class mates... we know who you are and I know who you are, got your names-

[''Chris slaps the cover with his hand. His tone becomes particularly wistful at this point.'']
[[Image:Names.PNG|thumb|A CWC classmate's nightmare.]]
-got your names in the year book, in the... senior year book. In my class. I have have been looking forward to this r-reunion... since the [[senior prom]], where at the end of that slideshow... it said "See you in ten years [[speech impediment|flguh]] the reunion". [''Chris's face becomes somber.''] The reunion hasn't happened yet. [''Chris displays a partially complete [[Claw of Fail]], imploringly gesturing at the camera much as he did towards [[The Wallflower]]. His face is pained.''] And it HAS to happen. It was basically promised... [''Chris pauses.''] ... not only to me, but to everyone who was at that prom. So this reunion has to happen and I'm going to start it by... reaching out t- reaching out to my classmates. Espe- and also, it would be helpful if I can also... get in contact with those who put together the senior prom... back in 2000.

So with that I urge- I urge, uh... you- all you indivuals... the people who put together prom, AND my classmates, to contact me, Christian Weston Chandler... at [[14 Branchland Court]], Ruckersville Virginia, 22968, snail mail, or by telephone... at 434-990-0198. [''pause''] Again, that's 434-990-0198. [''pause''] [[Trolls|False identities]] will be... discarded... so be sure yer... leave a message, describe- telling us your naaame, where you are right now and your contact information. Basically your phone number. I will not accept e-mail... contact. Which- Because of... because of the [[trolls]] of which brings up my next- my other topic which I would like to address as well.

Cyber-bullying and trolling. It's all not cool, cuz you're just basically.. [[Surfshack Tito|mocking]] and... [[4-cent garbage|terrorizing]]... innocent people. It's not good. Not cool. Not cool. [''pause''] You don't want to... you don't want to be a bully, like those who picked on you... in any school, weather it- regardless of it was pre, kindergarten, high, middle, [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary]], high... whatever. We've all had our bullies in real life... don't be a bully yourself.

[''Chris holds up a hand drawn picture of a green-haired [[Trolls#Devil Trolls|Devil Troll]] standing on in front of an unknown [[Dreams#The watery maze dream|blue stripe]], which is possibly a correction redrawing the red slash at an angle as it is typically rendered. The Devil Troll proudly displays a massive erection, with a red "forbidden" symbol ([[Chris and Art|mostly]]) transposed over the top. The words "Cyber-bullying and trolling are not cool!" are displayed below. Even given the extremely low resolution of Chris's video, it is immediately obvious Chris mistakenly colored outside the lines in this picture.'']

I urge you.. to NOT cyberbully or troll... [[Alec|anyone]]. [''pause''] And also, if you suspect anybody... any close friends, any neighbours, anyone inside your working facilities even, even at such companies like uh- [[Chris and English|Sonic Entertainment of America]], or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]]... there may be a troll, trolling somebody like me... within the office. I urge you to do the checks, and report them, [[Wendy's|fire]] their asses. [''Chris glances down at the sheet of paper, then back up''] With your help we can put a [[Muscle bra|BUST]] [''Chris makes a 'masturbation' movement with his fist'']... on trolling and cyber-bullying.

[''Chris puts the paper down out of view. His attitude becomes sullen, forlorn.'']
It's not good. T'... leave it the way it is. We need to take these criminals down. [''Chris taps on his yearbook with his knuckles''] For what they are doing... ['Chris performs [[The Creepy Stare]]'] [[Chris and religion|God... will smite them.]] He knows it- he knows you're [[mass debating|doing it]] you damn trolls. And I know. I'm laughing at you right now. Oh hey! Here's a fun little [[Random access humor|joke]]. So-So I walk into a [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]... and I says to the employee- to long haired female employee with the pink shirt... "Am I fat?" ... "No." [''Chris brushes his imaginary long [[hair]] in an extremely effeminate gesture''] ... "[[obesity|Chris is fat]]."

[''Chris extends a full blown [[Claw of Fail]] directly at the camera, cackling demonically.'']

Not cool. [''Pause. Chris points at the camera''] You WILL be found in person. And I will give you a [[death threats|piece of my mind]]. Not [[pocket knife|phys- not physical violence]]. [''pause''] You trolls are going down. [''Chris points down''] And with the help of all good- with all the good people who agree with me... that trolling is not cool and would never dare to troll anybody, or bully anybody in real life, I urge you to report any suspicious people to your local police department. [[Chris and the Law|Or Crimestoppers]]. Also some tips- [[Chris and hypocrisy|keep all your information... your personal information off of the Internet]].

You do not want anybody to be laughing behind your back of [[Recycling|something]]... that shou- should be remain private. And [[nudes|naked photos]] is no good either, definitely not, so keep all private information to yourselves.

Also, don't trust too many people on the Internet unless you actually know that person... in real life... [''pause''] and you trust that person, then I can say that it's okay to trust that person over the Internet. [''Chris's tone becomes malevolent.''] But be wary of most everybody else.

[''Chris makes a small punching movement nearly out of view of the camera.'']

We're the Troll- we're the [[Ghostbusters|Trollbusters]]. And togetter, we will work WORLDWIDE [''Chris makes a much more emphatic punch in clear view''] to put a stop to bullying and cyber-bullying. [''pause; Chris holds a 'thumbs up' gesture for some time''] Yeah.

[''Chris picks up the yearbook again.''] Class 2000 reunion. It has to happen and I need the help of my classmates. And the people who put together the senior prom. [''Chris's face is pleading''] Call me. Snail mail me. Get in contact with me.

[''Another, brief, thumbs up gesture'']

Have a good day. Be safe.

[''Chris turns off the camera.'']

== See also ==
*[[100 2178|The Greene County Conspiracy]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[6 June 2010]]|nextlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2010| 2010-08-27 a]]

The Wall of Originals

2012-10-16T17:52:06Z

Skullhat:

[[Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|thumb|The Wailing Wall]]

'''The Wall of Originals''' (a.k.a. "The Failing Wall") is a large [[Relic of Fail]] showing [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s customized [[Pokémon]] cards, which hangs from one of the walls in [[Chris's room]]. The lighting in several of his [[videos]] suggested that the sheet is covering a window, but the new [[Tomgirl Pictures]], released on 29 April 2011, have shown that this is probably not the case.

Some trolls speculate that the absence of the Wall in the Tomgirl Pictures indicates that it has been removed. Whether this is permanent or merely temporary is unclear.

==Things to Note==
[[Image:513-CWCsWallOfOriginals.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

There are several interesting trends which emerge when one takes in all of Chris's cards. They provide some insight into his game design process which further support the traits of Chris featured on the CWCki. Some interesting notes about the cards include:
* The earlier cards that feature Christian depict him as a disgusting mutant with a wide, flat nose and thick lips. This eventually branches out to include terrifying photoshops where an expressionless Chris is jammed into crude MSPaint backdrops.
* Note the first appearance of a female alternative for Pikachu, tastefully dubbed Chicachu, who can only deal damage when accompanied by a [[Women's rights|boyfriend]].
* Plautistic. It is a plant that is [[autism|autistic]]. It is extremely likely Chris seems to think [[The High School Story|autism and psychic powers are linked]].
* Chris shows up as a trainer, a gym leader, as well as a Pokémon. In each of these identities, Chris has multiple forms/personas. This trend is totally in line with Christian's theme of acquiring a plethora of powers with little to no effort or explanation. He has created himself as a normal type in which he is depicted as an autistic Pokémon. This reinforces the conclusion that he considers autism a superpower in some respects.
* Many of his handmade cards have devastatingly synergistic effects or several complimentary effects at once. This allows Chris to pull off combos with only one or two cards. According to field reports about his card game technique, Chris would need these hugely layered card effects because his deck building skills may have been rather poor.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Follow-up|"Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in yugi-oh."]]</ref>
* Despite spending considerable time on them, Chris has not tried to use these cards in official games at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|"He had about a 20 different custom cards, but never played any of them."]]</ref>
* Some of the cards that are based on pre-existing Pokémon (such as Blue, Donphan, Togepi) were most likely made in a response to early Generation II Pokémon revealings.
* The Yoshi and Luigi cards were based on an obviously fake ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' April Fool's Day Joke.

==Reproduction of the Wall==

<center>
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Luigi2.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Espan.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Vega.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:333-Vegaton.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Blue.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Baniru.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Togepi.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:dhct.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Missin.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Bush.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:334-Bushwacked.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:Koffin.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:335-Koffingroo.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Drum.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:336-Drummor.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Cym.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:337-Cymbolic.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Flashb.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:338-Flashbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Coon.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:339-Coonbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Bugz.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:340-Bugzapp.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:341-CWCsFlashbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:342-CWCsCoonbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:343-CWCsBugzapp.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Weeler.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:344-Weeler.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Hotfin.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:345-Hotfinish.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Strgtre.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:346-Strongtire1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:347-Strongtire2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:348-CWCsWeeler.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:349-CWCsHotfinish.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:350-CWCsStrongtire.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Comfrg.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:351-Compufrog.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Snuble.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Marril.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Yoshi.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Plautistic.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:352-Plautistic.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Donphan.gif|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:SonchuC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|50px]]
|-
|?
|[[Image:CwcsonC.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:DrksonC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:SrfsonC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:SnwsonC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:175-SchuBday.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg|50px]]
|Blank
|[[Image:250-BlachuCard1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:251-GiosBchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:252-BlachuCard2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:259-WildCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:279-MagiCard.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:209-Metonic1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:210-Metonic2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:216-UltSchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:217-UltSchuEX.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:264-BubblesCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:269-AngelicaCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:245-VamprosaCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg|50px]]
|-
|?
|[[Image:353-Kelbie.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:354-Annchop.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:355-Kixfairy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:356-CWCsKelbie.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:357-CWCsAnnchop.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:358-CWCsKixfairy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:098-CWCCard1.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:359-Chicachu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:360-Maychu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:CwcchiC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:CwcmayC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:363-Evails1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:364-Evails2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:365-Supreon.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:366-Armat1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:367-Armat2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:368-Steeline.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:369-DSteeline.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:370-Techti.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:371-Cytiger.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:372-Booloon.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:373-Squirskun.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:256-EvilEnergy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:SonTrn.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:376-STHTrainer.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:CWCtrn.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:101-ChristianC.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:158-Cwc City Gym.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:150-MTS.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:377-TurboRainbow.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:378-Whammy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:225-SchuBall1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:374-ChaosEmerald.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:379-Bulk.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:224-SchuZord.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:380-ShineyStadium.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:102-HookedOnSonichu1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:103-CWCsMaint.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:186-edgehogsInLove.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Cwcdex.gif|50px]]
|Blank
|Blank
|}
</center>

==Gallery==
Cards that aren't on the Wall of Originals, and other related images:
<center><gallery>
Image:064-CWCsDuelist.jpg|''[[wikipedia:The Duelist|Duelist]]'' magazine.
Image:065-CWCsTopDeck1.jpg|''Top Deck'' magazine.
Image:066-CWCsTopDeck2.jpg|Another fictitious issue of ''Top Deck''.
Image:185-pokbck.jpg|Card backing where Sonichu [[mass debating|jerks off]] while kneeling.
Image:226-SchuBall2.jpg|[[S-Chu Ball]].
Image:361-CWCsChicachu.jpg|Christian's Chicachu.
Image:362-CWCsMaychu.jpg|Christian's Maychu.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[List of cards from The Wall of Originals]]
*[[The Wallflower]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category: Relics of Fail]] [[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

Chris and money

2012-10-16T17:39:35Z

Skullhat: /* On TV */ Not funny or relevant to money.

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]] and prostitutes. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PS3]] game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris's only source of income is the $809 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board.;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after [[Bob]] paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive shoppiness (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: $15,100 annually. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more [[sex toys]] and [[video games]]. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or knowing that his son is a failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his coddling parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they have managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Bob and Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit, he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle [[money]], Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would compulsively shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into the fire- and biohazard it is today.

With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris' bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he won't be able to collect his [[monthly tugboat]], and if a full year passes without him collecting his cheques, he will have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether. <ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] and [[Playstation Vita|failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

It should be worth noting that despite all of the circumstances ''(and expenses)'' described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris [[Autism|will learn absolutely nothing.]]

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By then, [[Bob Chandler]] had to step in, forcing Chris to put the brakes on his spending and pay down his debt according to a regular schedule. Chris, unaware of or uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit-card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the [[monthly tugboat]] in compensation. This act of parental scapegoating could have potentially cleared Chris's future to be free of bad credit and crushing debt, had he not already acquired another credit card...

=== Best Buy Mastercard ===

In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had somehow used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from Chris is unknown. Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point.

Bob continued that the resulting transactions may have ruined Chris's credit rating (though that ship has ''long'' since fucking sailed), and, in a disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him; he mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there; and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission: he only told them about it after receiving two bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to pay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. Chris now receives only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt. The prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with [[Jackie]], Chris claims that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he's just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes.

With Bob's passing comes the possibility that Chris may once again have full control of his money, putting at risk what Bob had worked toward. Chris's acquisition of the [[PlayStation Vita]] and over 600 dollars worth of video games for that system is most likely proof that Chris has regained control of his money and is tossing it away like it was nothing.

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]; states, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him. {{cite}}

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless video games.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== Sources ==
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{{Chris and}}