CWCki - User contributions [en]

Mother needs a car payment

2018-10-29T00:55:56Z

Smugleaf:

'''Mother needs a car payment''' is the [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.|third]] [[Barbara's Blankets|video]] in a row in [[August 2018]] to feature [[Barb]] begging [[Chris]]'s viewers. This time, she begs the viewers to [[Financhu Crisis|pay out for her car's repair fees]] after breaking down.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Mother needs a car payment
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NcSiF7iIMdY}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2018]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Financhu Crisis|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Barbara's Blankets]]
| next = [[September 2018 Paid Video Requests|Birth Greetings, Jordan]]

}}

===Description===
And [[Financhu Crisis|my bank account is in the red]], so please help.

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mp...

http://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/711-532...

http://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/711-532...

===Transcript===
'''Barb''': [''covered up slightly by a burp from Chris, and a washing machine is heard in the background''] My name is Barbara Chandler. I am asking you to, uh, help us...with, uh, car payment, uh, by buying, the blankets. Uh, they're nice, they're in perfect shape, um, they'll make a good addition to your home. Thank you for helping us, I appreciate it. Amen.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Barbara's Blankets]]|nextlink=[[September 2018 Paid Video Requests#Birth Greetings, Jordan|Birth Greetings, Jordan]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

September 2018 Paid Video Requests

2018-10-29T00:52:48Z

Smugleaf: Transcribed, and wrote a basic description for, ''Birth Greetings, Jordan''.

This page lists the [[Paid Video Requests|video requests]] that Chris was paid to do in September 2018.

==Birth Greetings, Jordan==
A thirty-second clip of Chris wishing a happy birthday to a fan named Jordan.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Birth Greetings, Jordan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|PXwe-mOnCBw}}
| stardate = 21 September 2018
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style =
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Mother needs a car payment]]
| next = [[Down with tyranny; rally in Hawaii]]

}}

====Transcript====
Hello everybody! Christine Chandler, coming to you live from home once again, and right now we're wishing a simple "happy birthday" to... Jordan Ritte''rrrrr''!

[''Chris breaks into song, singing in a remarkably bad falsetto voice'']

♪ H''aaa''ppy-happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday ♪

♪ H''aaaa''ppy-happy birthday to you, Jordan Ritter ♪

♪ H''iiii''ppie-hippie boom-bah, hippie boom-bah, hippie boom-bah ♪

♪ H''iiii''ppie-hippie boom-bah, happy birthday to y''ouuuuuu'' ♪

♪ H''aaaaa''y, have an awesome d''aaaaaaayyyyyyy''! Yay! ♪

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Mother needs a car payment]]|nextlink=[[Down with tyranny; rally in Hawaii]]}}
{{BusinessList}}
[[Category:Business]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2018]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User:Smugleaf

2018-10-29T00:14:01Z

Smugleaf:

Chandler Cats

2013-06-22T00:58:16Z

Smugleaf:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "piddle my cats." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more.|[[June062010.MOV|Chris about molesting his cats]]}}

[[Image:Loldesi.jpg|thumb|[[Trolls]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenages]] love Desi Chandler.]]

[[Chris]] and his family have several '''cats'''. Chris regularly [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slips in their shit]]. It is not known whether the Chandlers own the cats, or whether the cats just got lost amid the piles of junk and were unable to find their way to the outside world.

==Cats==
===Desi===
[[Image:0837-Desi.JPG|thumb|Desi Chandler]]

The first of Chris's cats, Desi is a [[Wikipedia:Tabby cat|tabby]] named after [[Wikipedia:Desi Arnaz|Desi Arnaz]] (one of two cats named after the stars of ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', one of the Chandler family's favorite TV shows). Among [[CWCki]] editors and [[trolls]], Desi was, at first, often mixed up with Scampers.

Not much is known about Desi other than he's fucking huge, like the rest of Chris's family, and has only ever appeared in photographs or in the background of videos. Desi also makes an appearance in Chris's [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|future message]].

Desi is not house trained and the Chandlers freely let their cat shit all over the kitchen, which Chris on several occasions has slipped on, notably during his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with [[Vivian Gee]]. This lends further credence to the belief (along with [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s refusal to wash himself and the stench of Chris's [[Dirty Crapped Briefs]]) that their family is incredibly unhygienic. Suffice to say, Chris vastly preferred his [[Patti|dog]] as a pet.

Based on an e-mail with [[Jackie]], Desi is presumed dead or missing in action.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_is_lazy.2C_Hates_simple_chores]]</ref>
{{-}}

===Scamper===
[[Image:0723-Scamper.JPG|thumb|Scamper Chandler]]

'''Scamper''', or '''Scampers''', is the second of Chris's cats. Originally confused with Desi, Scamper is a black and white coated cat.

Very little info about her exists, except that, like Desi, she's not house-trained and shits everywhere.

{{-}}

===Lucy===
[[Image:0840-Lucy.JPG|thumb|Lucy Chandler]]

'''Lucy''' is the third cat of the Chandlers. (Note: [[Barbara]] is one of those crazy old women types that keeps lots of cats. On some level she probably sees Chris as an especially large and untidy cat.) Lucy is named after Lucille Ball, the other star of ''[[I Love Lucy]]''.

Chris once greeted Lucy during a voice chat with [[Sarah May]], before Barbara told him to get off (before she goes off).<ref>[http://www.megavideo.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N]</ref>

Lucy is confirmed to be well and alive as of 2013 thanks to a status posted by Chris that included a current photo of Lucy in the great [[2013 Imgur Leak|2013 Facebook leak]].

{{-}}

===Skittles===
[[Image:0724-Skittles.JPG|thumb|Skittles Chandler: Note the [[Fangs|fang]] sticking out of its mouth]]

'''Skittles''' is the fourth known cat of the Chandlers, approximately 21 years old based on accounts from troll field agents. Skittles looks like a half-dead lynx on crack.

Nothing is known of Skittles, but given the name it has it can be assumed that it belongs to the Chandlers as only someone batshit crazy or over the age of 50 would name a cat Skittles. Chris, being the fat cunt that he is, probably named it after his favorite candy (at least "Skittles" is more dignifying for the cat than to be named after a Sonichu character).

Based on the [[Jackie e-mails]], s/he is presumed dead or missing in action.<ref name="ReferenceA"/>

{{-}}

===Kitty===

[[Image:0057-KittyBW.jpg|thumb|Kitty the demon-possessed cat]]

Cat number 5, the final cat (or at least the last cat of whom there are photos) of the CWC feline family. '''Kitty''' seems to be the cat no one really gives a shit about, evidenced by the fact that it is simply named "Kitty".

Kitty made an appearance in [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's tour of his house]], and starred in the [[20 December 2009|''Captain's Log'' video]] of 20 [[December 2009]], where it was revealed that this cat can be added to the long list of [[Trolls|things that hate Chris]]. Chris believes that it is normal for cats to hiss, bite, and scratch people who pick them up, which suggests that his other cats behave this way as well.

According to Chris, Kitty was a good friend of the [[Patti Chandler|Chandler Dog]].<ref name="ReferenceA"/>

[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] also included a character named Kitty Rosechu, who was supposed to be Chris's take on the ''[[Asperchu]]'' version of [[Bubbles]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0721-Kitty.JPG|Kitty Chandler, so full of hate
Image:0722-LucyDes1.JPG|Lucy and Desi
Image:0844-LucyDes2.JPG|Lucy and Desi asleep in a [[Sonichu (comic)|pile of crap]]
Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|Desi and [[Snorlax]]
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Patti]]
*[[Clover and Snoopy]]

{{People}}

[[Category:Pets]]

Mailbag 6

2013-06-21T07:40:47Z

Smugleaf:

'''Mailbag 6''' is the sixth round of fan letters, uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 [[November 2009]] and answered on the same day.

Showing that Chris's fanbase is nothing if not diverse, Chris received a letter from [[Wikipedia:Levi Johnston|the guy that knocked up Bristol Palin]] asking for girl advice, [[Wikipedia:Kim_Jong_Un|the son of Korean dictator Kim Jong-il]] asked Chris about his thoughts on Korea and the Korean military, and [[Homos|gay]] serial killer [[Wikipedia:John Wayne Gacy|John Wayne Gacy]] asked a question about [[sex toys]].

In this mailbag, Chris finally revealed the logic behind [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic's]] stupid name, and hinted at his upcoming, equally stupid [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|Christmas story]]. He also took a few moments to defend his use of alcohol, and attempted to defend the blatant racist overtones displayed by [[Punchy Sonichu]].

==Answered==
===Chris knows all about women===
{{quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:Levi_Johnston|Levi Johnston]] <hockey90@alaska.usa.com>
Nice comic man but love doesn't work that way. I engaged my girl and got her name tattooed on me and everything and she still dumped me.

If you can figure out how to have a relationship like [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] plz tell me but in my experience girls are only after the moola.

Laters dude.}}
{{quotebox|Firstly, your perception of women being only after money is Seriously False; they are for MORE than that. They care more about honesty, understanding, compassion, caring and True Love. You should be more open and understanding with your girlfriend; listen to her fully, show her how much you truly care and love her. And if she still dumps you after that, then obviously she may not have been meant for you. Don't give up.}}

===Bionic's name===
{{quoteboxred|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
I have a question. What is the meaning behind [[Bionic]]'s name? I don't quite get the connection between it and basketball.}}
{{quotebox|It rhymes with "Sonic" and it starts with a "B"; "B" for Basketball.}}

===North Korea is pretty cool===
{{quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:Kim Jong-un|Kim Jong Un]] <kimjongun@ymail.com>
Hello Mr. Chandler!

My name is Kim Jong Un, and I'm a huge fan of your comics! [[Wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|My dad]] also loves reading the comics, but he doesn't tell a whole lot of people. We respect your thoughts of [[Wikipedia:Juche|self-reliance]] and your personal defense of your sexuality through martial arts. I study martial arts myself, and I am impressed by your skills.

Would you like to visit our beautiful country of Korea?

What are your thoughts on the military? I think that [[Wikipedia:Songun|the military should always come first]], since they protect us from the horrible people outside our borders. Would you please include our soldiers in your next comic? It would make me proud to see our men and women fighting alongside Sonichu!

Kim Jong Un}}
{{quotebox|If I could, I would like to visit Korea. The military is cool; soldiers can be included in future stories. Also, my father was in [[Wikipedia:United States Army|the Army]] in the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corp]], stationed in [[CWCville|North Korea]] just after WWII.}}

===A Sonichu Carol===
{{quoteboxred|From: Tom Porter <tporter2010@gmail.com>
Hi Chris,
I'm a huge fan of sonichu but am disappointed that there is no sonichu christmas special. I think that something featuring them should be maade to brighten up the holiday season. Also, you should use your wonderful voice to sing us some christmas carols. It reminds me so much of bing crosby!}}
{{quotebox|A [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|Christmas Story]] will be made eventually, but right now I would like to concentrate on finishing this book.}}

===Health tips===
{{quoteboxred|From: anonymous@venompen.com
Hi there Chris.

I've been following Sonichu for years while I've been perusing my medical Degree. Besides Doctor [[Robotnik]], I don't see many doctors in your comic. I was wondering how often you go to see doctors and dentists for regular check ups? Also, do you have any tips for healthy living for you fans?

-(Future)Dr. Rock M.}}
{{quotebox|I go to my local physician every few months, and my [[Fangs|dentist]] every six months. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, walk for half to a full hour daily, and drink plenty of water.}}

===For the man who has everything===
{{quoteboxred|From: monotree@aol.com
Love your Sonichu comic, but I have a problem. I'm not sure what to get my parents for Christmas. What will you be getting your parents this year for Christmas?}}
{{quotebox|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is a good suggestion.}}

===Lolwhut===
{{quoteboxred|From: Jeremy Holter <popo2284@yahoo.com>
Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?}}
{{quotebox|Thank you for your question, but unfortunately I do not understand it, could you reword it, please.}}

===Suicide===
{{quoteboxred|From: Patrick Plowright <patrick_p@hotmail.co.uk>
Hi Christian,

Just wondering, with all the heartbreaking things which have occured in your life, have you ever had suicidal thoughts?

Yours Sincerely,
Patrick Peterson}}
{{quotebox|No, I never had any tendencies of killing myself; that is just plain stupid. I have [[Video games|a]] [[Sex toys|lot]] [[Mass debating|to]] [[Internet|live]] [[Fuck quest|for]]. Listen to Billy Joel's "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|You're Only Human]] (Second Wind)".}}

===A happy message===
{{quoteboxred|From: oh shane <its.shane.shane.boi@hotmail.com>
hello!!!!!
how are you? i hope youre doing well...
happy holidays! i hope it is the holidays where youre at..
anyway, all the best in life and remember to SMILE always! because thats the best people look and im sure you do too}}
{{quotebox|Thank you. :)}}

===Sonichu and drinking===
{{quoteboxred|From: T N <no1sonichufan@yahoo.co.uk>
1) [[Sonic]] became Sonichu but where are Knuckles and Tails?

2) [[Amy Rose]] met Rosechu in one of the comics. Why doesn't she care that Sonic became Sonichu and left her for Rosechu?

3) Why does Rosechu look exactly like Amy Rose besides for a few features?

4) Why is [[Robotnik]] in [[CWCville]] instead of Mobius?

5) Why do you discourage other people from drinking [[alcohol]] yet there are [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of you]] on [[YouTube]] drinking a Long Island Iced Tea?}}
{{quotebox|The first question is inaccurate; Sonic did not become Sonichu; they are two seperate characters. I did not have feel the need for Knuckles or Tails at this time. AGAIN, SEPERATE CHARACTERS. I designed her that way. He has his hovercraft; he can travel wherever he wants. I discourage underage drinking fully; I wanted to try it once for myself.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris can't handle the truth===
{{Email|From: mr.suchi suchisuchi <suchisuchisuchi12@gmail.com>
its mr suchi again
i just realized i was wrong.
you are not retarded but only somewhat autistic.
this changes everything.
you should improve your drawing its not good enough.
honestly.
i'm telling you as a friend.
and stop harrassing women.
because thats what your doing.

they say you are racist.
tell me, what do you think of the jews?
because i'm a jew.
do you hate me for being a jew?

bye}}
{{EmailReply|Your comment [[Chris and english|were]] NOT CALLED FOR; [[Megan|I do not harass women]], so you are wrong there. And I am NOT [[Chris and Race|racist]], and [[Michael Snyder|I like Jews]]. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:54, 29 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Asian people call Chris out on Punchy===
{{Email|From: x_dprk_rulz_x@yahoo.com
Hello Mister Chandler. I am speaking on behalf of America's biggest Asian American advocacy group. Some of the parents in here have let their children read the comics, and are very offended at your, character [[Punchy]].

Punchy seems like a racist stereotype to us, with his slanted eyes and martial arts skills. Some of us have boycotted your comics. I know you mean, Mister Chandler, but please explain yourself.

PS: My father is looking into politics. My grandfather was a popular politician here, and he wants to follow in his footsteps, but some say he is short, fat and opressive. Do you, as Mayor of CWCville, have any advice for him?}}
{{EmailReply|Punchy is NOT of Asian origin, and I apologize for offending you. I can only say he should do what he can.}}

===In which Chris recommends a sex store to a serial murderer===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Wayne Gacy|John Gacy]] <johngacy138@live.com>
Hi, Chris!

Great comics! I especially like the recent one where the guy magically pooed his pants. So funny! But I digress: I've been following your advice on trying to stay straight and it's working pretty well so far. I used to have such a problem being attracted to hot teenage boys and young men, but not anymore! I actually live in [[Charlottesville]] and noticed there's a sex store called Ultimate Bliss. Have you been? If so, what was your experience? Can you recommend any straight-oriented sex toys? I live with my mom right now and she might get weirded out if I order anything by mail, so I'd prefer to shop at a [[sex toys|sex toy]] store in real life.

Thanks, and great comics again!

John G}}
{{EmailReply|I have been there; I recommend WOMAN-Shaped Blow-Up Dolls, the masturbation tubes with the Vaginal-Designed Openings, and ALL their Videos that feature Woman-and-Man or Woman-and-Woman or one-man-and-multiple-women sexual acts.}}

===Chris sucks at answering fanmail===
{{Email|From: Darren Heimbach <sonichufan80@yahoo.com>
Ive been a true fan of Sonichu for a while. When a lot of people gave up on Sonichu after seeing you disrespect your real fans by posting videos of you drinking semen and fucking blowup dolls, I stuck by you. Now I really wonder why.

Why cant you answer the mailbag daily, and why do you only answer letters with short, two sentence replies? Its not like you have a job or anything, and its really disrepectful toward your fans. You could spend more time DAILY to answer your FAN MAIL.

Please show more respect to your true fans and answer the mailbag daily, and with more than just a couple words. We deserve it.}}

===Chris sucks in general===
{{Email|From: Crystal Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com>
I couldn't help but notice you told somebody in the mailbag to take criticism like a man and learn from it.

You have never done that. Once. Ever. You cry like a little bitch and run away, or you just completely ignore it. That inability to change is exactly why you are the failure that you are.

Now go throw this in the rejected section, you fucking hypocrite.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Evan

2013-06-21T07:38:25Z

Smugleaf:

[[Image:Detailsonichurule34.png|thumb|200px|right|One of Evan's first pieces Sonichu art.]]

'''Evan Christopher George''' is a [[troll]] and the original creator of [[Simonchu]].

Rewind to [[2007]]: [[Sonichu]] was found on the Cartoons image board at [[4chan]]. It soon made its way over to Video Games. On 3 November, a "fanart" (read: dickgirls) thread for Sonichu was made at /v/ and someone suggested that someone there should do the honors of sending him the e-mails. Thinking it to be a good idea at the time, Evan collected the best images from the thread and a pornographic MS Paint comic he drew (pornographic MS Paint comics being his disgusting yet hilarious specialty to this very day) and sent it to [[Chris]]'s AOL e-mail account.

[[Masturbating and squirtin'|The reply]] he got shocked a nation.

The line "masturbating and squirtin'" was the first sign of Chris's more perverse side, and most hilarious of all was the angry drawing of Chris and Sonichu made for his response (an image ripped out of Sub-Episode 3<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/images/2/23/SchuComic4P24.jpg</ref>), with the words "We're Keeping Track." The [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page was initially made solely to house the responses Evan had been getting and the fanart he had been sending. Eventually Chris threatened to create Evan in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' and beat him up, much like he had [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and Evan sent him a drawing of himself just so he could create such a video. However, he never replied and largely forgot these e-mails even happened.

==After the e-mails==

After the emails, Evan remained a part of the Sonichu scene for some time. After initially drawing up fan art in MS Paint of the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' car from the preview of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], the image was actually used in the comic when it was officially released. Evan was oddly credited by his Encyclopedia Dramatica account name, implying that Chris got the image from ED. However, if he had any sense, he would've realized the same account was used to post those HATEFUL and SLANDEROUS e-mails that ruined his life.

[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|150px|right|The awful fancharacter that eventually became [[Simonla|worse]].]]

Ironically, in spite of directly confessing multiple times that he was responsible for the Encyclopedia Dramatica articles due to the e-mails he had sent, Chris still blames [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to this day.

{{anchor|Simonchu}}Eventually he thought it'd be funny to try and get a fan character into Sonichu, creating "Simonchu" due to his at-the-time addiction to ''Gurren Lagann''. This totally backfired on him as Chris turned it into [[mass debating|mass debate]] material, making Simonchu into the character [[Simonla Rosechu]].

==Effort to remove Simonla from ''Sonichu''==

For some time, Evan attempted to have [[Simonla Rosechu]] removed from the comics, stating anger at Simonla being given a [[china]] (which is sort of ironic considering that he gave [[Rosechu]] a [[pickle]], but Chris isn't clever enough to make that point). Christian decided he would include Simonchu in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] after reading these e-mails, which would have lead to TWO shitty recolors running around instead of one less as intended--if Chris had actually included Simonchu.

[[Image:GDChandler.png|thumb|left|Another image from the ''Simonchu'' comics.]]

In a Mailbag Chris mentioned to a fan that Evan allowed him to edit Simonchu into Simonla.<ref>[[Mailbag 21]]</ref> Soon after, Evan sent an e-mail to Chris on the [[CWCipedia]], calling BS on that claim, only to be ignored.<ref>[[Mailbag 22]]</ref> Evan sent a second e-mail, demanding that, as his character, Simonla be killed off on-screen. Evan got a response, blankly informing him that Simonla was essentially Chris's character now, since he decided she would date [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>

Evan persisted in his actions to remove Simonla from the comic, his e-mails to the Mailbag either being answered bluntly or being entirely ignored. Chris insisted on what he called "The Brother/Sister Plan", stating he would put Simonchu into the comics as Simonla's brother. However, Evan protested this, not wanting TWO bastardizations of his character running around. The situation culminated in [[Mailbag 43#...Well,_this_is_disturbing!|an e-mail originally sent to enlighten Chris on the use of IP addresses]]. As a sidenote, Evan asked Chris to remove Simonla once more; Chris promptly retorted with a long-winded and completely bizarre statement:

{{quote|YOUR Simonchu came to [[Cwcville]] while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True Wild Sonichu was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the c***-shack known as "Ecgville"...

...Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korea Great Director Chandler]!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|completely losing his grip on reality.]]}}

Ironically, earlier that day Chris uploaded an image to [[CWCipedia]] encouraging support for aid to the 2010 Haiti earthquake disaster, depicting Simonchu and Simonla working together to build a table. The construction of this table was so monumental that the two placed a plaque in front of it stating [[Chris and reality|"Rebuilt by the Brother/Sister Team of Simonla and Simonchu"]].

Unwilling to let him continue to use Simonchu as well as his "sister", Evan sent [[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly|Chris another email]], warning him that it would be his last chance to remove both characters from the Haiti image and the comics. Chris states that, despite all her relatively obvious similarities to Simonchu, that Simonla is a "SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER", and that Evan should stop [[stress|stressing out]] about it. Chris also claims that, although the character is based on Simonchu, the fact that he ''could'' have come up with her on his own basically amounts to her being an original character. Later, Chris would attempt to call a "retraction" and erase all evidence of Simonla ever being inspired by Simonchu, hoping that this would provide an easy escape to the problem. Of course, it didn't.

On [[I am Alive|6 February 2010]], Chris revealed that he was finally doing away with Simonla and removing her entry from the CWCipedia. However, this didn't please Evan, especially when Chris said he'd do it "later". In response, his lawyers had the CWCipedia slapped with a cease and desist notice to fully remove the character, forcing the Sysop to close the CWCipedia to edits. This resulted in Evan [[9 February 2010|destroying the undestroyable]].

On 14 [[February 2010]], Evan released two pages from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] which he had received from Chris. The first page is essentially a written form of his apology videos to Alec and Evan, whilst the second page involves Simonla finally being killed, by way of an exploding toilet. While this conformed to Alec's wishes, Chris as usual refuses to admit total defeat, and implies Wild is out for "revenge."

==''Simonchu'' comic==

Evan used to work on ''Simonchu'', a comic series describing the adventures of Simonchu as Evan intended. It was hosted on the [[Asperpedia]], due to Evan entrusting the rights of Simonchu to Alec Benson Leary. Whether Chris's mysterious G.D.C. powers have taken their effect on Evan's free will remains to be seen.

After Chris finally killed off Simonla, Evan put the ''Simonchu'' comic on hold. Evan's stance on the possibility of more ''Simonchu'' comics is so far unknown.

==In the comics==
Evan appeared in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]: attempting to drop something on Simonla to kill her, he's stopped by [[Magi-Chan]] before he can. However, [[Alec Benson Leary]] ends up doing so, planting an exploding [[Pokémon#Voltorb|Voltorb]] in the toilet and killing Simonla. Evan is imprisoned along with Alec, [[Sean]] and [[Mao]] (Sean and Mao having done nothing to them) and given a biased show trial that predictably gets them sentenced to death. Evan is tortured to death (having his hands and feet amputated and his [[duck]] mutilated) by Wild and his new child, [[Sandy Rosechu]]. And since Evan is, according the rules of the CWC-verse, Sandy's grandfather, a whole new layer of disturbing is added to the whole thing.

In [[Book10Replacement|the revised ending]], Evan is instead exiled to the Amish community, where, without Internet access, he can no longer troll.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Evan responds to his death.png|Evan calls Chris out on death by genital mutilation.
File:Evan responds to his death2.png|More explanation why kids drill dicks
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

{{trolls}}
{{people}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Chandler Cats

2013-05-30T12:13:37Z

Smugleaf:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "piddle my cats." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more.|[[June062010.MOV|Chris about molesting his cats]]}}

[[Image:Loldesi.jpg|thumb|[[Trolls]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenages]] love Desi Chandler.]]

[[Chris]] and his family have several '''cats'''. Chris regularly [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slips in their shit]]. It is not known whether the Chandlers own the cats, or whether the cats just got lost amid the piles of junk and were unable to find their way to the outside world.

==Cats==
===Desi===
[[Image:0837-Desi.JPG|thumb|Desi Chandler]]

The first of Chris's cats, Desi is a [[Wikipedia:Tabby cat|tabby]] named after [[Wikipedia:Desi Arnaz|Desi Arnaz]] (one of two cats named after the stars of ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', one of the Chandler family's favorite TV shows). Among [[CWCki]] editors and [[trolls]], Desi was, at first, often mixed up with Scampers.

Not much is known about Desi other than he's fucking huge, like the rest of Chris's family, and has only ever appeared in photographs or in the background of videos. Desi also makes an appearance in Chris's [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|future message]].

Desi is not house trained and the Chandlers freely let their cat shit all over the kitchen, which Chris on several occasions has slipped on, notably during his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with [[Vivian Gee]]. This lends further credence to the belief (along with [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s refusal to wash himself and the stench of Chris's [[Dirty Crapped Briefs]]) that their family is incredibly unhygienic. Suffice to say, Chris vastly preferred his [[Patti|dog]] as a pet.

Based on an e-mail with [[Jackie]], Desi is presumed dead or missing in action.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_is_lazy.2C_Hates_simple_chores]]</ref>
{{-}}

===Scamper===
[[Image:0723-Scamper.JPG|thumb|Scamper Chandler]]

'''Scamper''', or '''Scampers''', is the second of Chris's cats. Originally confused with Desi, Scamper is a black and white coated cat.

Very little info about her exists, except that, like Desi, she's not house-trained and shits everywhere.

{{-}}

===Lucy===
[[Image:0840-Lucy.JPG|thumb|Lucy Chandler]]

'''Lucy''' is the third cat of the Chandlers. (Note: [[Barbara]] is one of those crazy old women types that keeps lots of cats. On some level she probably sees Chris as an especially large and untidy cat.) Lucy is named after Lucille Ball, the other star of ''[[I Love Lucy]]''.

Chris once greeted Lucy during a voice chat with [[Sarah May]], before Barbara told him to get off (before she goes off).<ref>[http://www.megavideo.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N]</ref>

Lucy is confirmed to be well and alive as of 2013 thanks to a photo posted by Chris of Lucy in the great 2013 [[Facebook]] leak.

{{-}}

===Skittles===
[[Image:0724-Skittles.JPG|thumb|Skittles Chandler: Note the [[Fangs|fang]] sticking out of its mouth]]

'''Skittles''' is the fourth known cat of the Chandlers, approximately 21 years old based on accounts from troll field agents. Skittles looks like a half-dead lynx on crack.

Nothing is known of Skittles, but given the name it has it can be assumed that it belongs to the Chandlers as only someone batshit crazy or over the age of 50 would name a cat Skittles. Chris, being the fat cunt that he is, probably named it after his favorite candy (at least "Skittles" is more dignifying for the cat than to be named after a Sonichu character).

Based on the [[Jackie e-mails]], s/he is presumed dead or missing in action.<ref name="ReferenceA"/>

{{-}}

===Kitty===

[[Image:0057-KittyBW.jpg|thumb|Kitty the demon-possessed cat]]

Cat number 5, the final cat (or at least the last cat of whom there are photos) of the CWC feline family. '''Kitty''' seems to be the cat no one really gives a shit about, evidenced by the fact that it is simply named "Kitty".

Kitty made an appearance in [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's tour of his house]], and starred in the [[20 December 2009|''Captain's Log'' video]] of 20 [[December 2009]], where it was revealed that this cat can be added to the long list of [[Trolls|things that hate Chris]]. Chris believes that it is normal for cats to hiss, bite, and scratch people who pick them up, which suggests that his other cats behave this way as well.

According to Chris, Kitty was a good friend of the [[Patti Chandler|Chandler Dog]].<ref name="ReferenceA"/>

[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] also included a character named Kitty Rosechu, who was supposed to be Chris's take on the ''[[Asperchu]]'' version of [[Bubbles]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0721-Kitty.JPG|Kitty Chandler, so full of hate
Image:0722-LucyDes1.JPG|Lucy and Desi
Image:0844-LucyDes2.JPG|Lucy and Desi asleep in a [[Sonichu (comic)|pile of crap]]
Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|Desi and [[Snorlax]]
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Patti]]
*[[Clover and Snoopy]]

{{People}}

[[Category:Pets]]

User:Smugleaf

2013-05-28T13:19:21Z

Smugleaf:

Don't mind me! I just update the [[Template:PSNTracker|PSN Tracker v2.0]]!.
{{Australian}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}
{{Warrior}}

Template:PSNTracker

2013-03-09T04:27:39Z

Smugleaf:

<center>
[[Image:PSNTracker.png|PSN Activity tracker]] 
'''Chris''' was last spotted playing '''''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|Sonic Adventure 2]]'''''. 
Chris has spent over '''$6,127.64''' of [[monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]! 
Chris's [[PSN]] is '''Sonichu'''. You can see his profile [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].
</center>

<noinclude>[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-22T10:26:11Z

Smugleaf:

Don't mind me! I just update the [[Template:PSNTracker|PSN Tracker v2.0]]!.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}
{{Warrior}}
{{Artfag}}

https://soundcloud.com/smugleaf/chris-chans-master-onion-a-la – Beat produced by me, the TRUE and HONEST Smugleaf.

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T12:06:15Z

Smugleaf:

Don't mind me! I just update the [[Template:PSNTracker|PSN Tracker v2.0]]!.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}
{{Warrior}}
{{Artfag}}

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T11:47:46Z

Smugleaf:

I usually just update the [[Template:PSNTracker]] and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}
{{Warrior}}
{{Artfag}}

CWCki:Artist Commune

2013-02-21T11:46:59Z

Smugleaf: /* CWCki Topical Banners */

{{protip|The Artist Commune isn't so much about soliciting fan art as it is about utilizing fan artists to get some original art for CWCki. Think of it like doing commissioned art for CWCki, except instead of getting money you'll be getting a bigger e-penis. Check out [[:Category:Articles needing original illustrations|here]] for articles needing some illustrations.}}

[[Image:Fapcup.jpg|thumb|right|Original art, such as Fapcup.jpg, improves the quality of CWCki article and vividly illustrates
topics discussed.]]The '''Artist Commune''' is a [[CWCki]] project dedicated to providing CWCki with original content in terms of illustrations, photoshops, etc. in order to better illustrate topics discussed on the CWCki by utilizing the many skills and talents of CWCki users and the broader CWC [[troll|trolling]] community.

__TOC__

Early predecessors to the project were [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC threads]] in the "Troll Productions" forum which produced very talented drawings (such as [[:Image:AfterTheHoneyMoon.jpg|this]], [[:Image:Lolmarriage.png|this]], and [[:Image:Sonichurosey.png|this]]) in addition to holiday shops of the [[:Image:CWCiki Introduction.jpg|CWCki introduction logo]].

All drawfags, artfags, photoshoppers, etc. are encouraged to contribute in the project, and all CWCki users are encouraged to request images.

==User Box==
Contributors in the project are qualified to use this SUPER SPECIAL userbox on their user page:
{{Artfag}}

Frequent contributors to the project will receive special awards recognizing them for their time and effort.

==Requests==
Post your requests for images in the discussion page [[CWCki talk:Artist Commune|HERE]]. Please be descriptive in what you want and for what purpose, and be sure to sign your comment. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:13, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Pages that need illustrations should be marked with the '''<nowiki>{{Illustrations}}</nowiki>''' tag, to put them on the [[:Category:Articles needing original illustrations]]!

It looks like this:

{{Illustrations}}

==Galleries==
Thanks to all CWCki Art Contributards! When ORIGINAL CONTENT is used to illustrate the main page or an article (outside of generic galleries at the bottom), please add it to this list! If a picture is uncredited and you know who made it, help us out and give them credit.

===Illustrations===
<gallery>
Image:Fapcup.jpg
Image:Chris-IAmRandomHousecoat.PNG|[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]]
Image:Chris-ThisIsMyDildo.PNG|[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]]
Image:HotelRickyRicardo.jpg|[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]]
Image:How_the_pokemon_came_into_our_pokeballs.png
Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]]
Image:Mewchew.jpg|[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] |
Image:Cwc-abstinence.jpg|[[User:Bystander]]
Image:IRC%2820_January_2009%29.jpg|[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]]
Image:Barbara_the_Hutt.png|[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]
</gallery>

===CWCki Topical Banners===
<gallery>
Image:BobCWCkiLogo.jpg
Image:GuyFawkesDayIntro.jpg
Image:KwanzaCWCkiIntro.jpg
Image:HannukauhCWCki.jpg|AnalCactus ([[PVCC]])
Image:Mychristmas.jpg
Image:Festivus.png|[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]]
Image:CWCki_2010.jpg|[[User:Rubidium|Rubidium]]
Image:PaddysDay_banner.jpg|[[User:Crow|Crow]]
Image:Liquidintro.jpg|[[User:Bystander|Bystander]]
Image:Jenkinsjinkies.jpg|[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]
Image:2012CWCkiIntro.PNG‎|[[User:Victor Hatherley|Victor Hatherley]]
Image:Birthday Boy.png|[[User:Smugleaf|Smugleaf]]
</gallery>

===CWCki-tan===
<gallery>
Image:CWCki-tan.png
Image:CWCki-tanNewYear2010.png
</gallery>

[[Category:CWCki projects]]

File:CWCki Banner Birthday Boy.png

2013-02-21T11:45:35Z

Smugleaf:

Birthday Boy banner.

File:CWCki Banner Birthday Boy.png

2013-02-21T11:44:53Z

Smugleaf: Birthday Boy banner. I created this image.

Birthday Boy banner.

I created this image.

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T09:53:53Z

Smugleaf:

I usually just update the [[Template:PSNTracker]] and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}
{{Warrior}}

Template:CWCvilleWorkersParty

2013-02-21T08:50:54Z

Smugleaf:

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #00000
|id-bg-col= #193b73
|id-border-col= #DF0101
|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #DF0101
|info-border-col = #DF0101
|id= [[Image:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|55px|TRUE and HONEST Flag of the Workers' Party of CWCville]]
|info= '''Workers' Party of CWCville''': This user is a member of the Workers' Party of [[CWCville]]. Praise the TRUE and HONEST leader; [[Christian Weston Chandler]].}}
<noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]][[Category:Group userboxes]]</noinclude>
<includeonly>[[Category:Members of the Workers' Party of CWCville]]</includeonly>

Category:Members of the Workers' Party of CWCville

2013-02-21T08:46:16Z

Smugleaf: Created page with "These users are members of the Workers' Party of CWCville. Category:CWCkipedians by group"

These users are members of the Workers' Party of [[CWCville]].

[[Category:CWCkipedians by group]]

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T08:44:03Z

Smugleaf:

I usually just update the PSN tracker and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}
{{Warrior}}

Template:CWCvilleWorkersParty

2013-02-21T08:43:00Z

Smugleaf:

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #00000
|id-bg-col= #193b73
|id-border-col= #DF0101
|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #DF0101
|info-border-col = #DF0101
|id= [[Image:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|55px|American Flag]]
|info= '''Workers' Party of CWCville''': This user is a member of the Workers' Party of [[CWCville]]. Praise the TRUE and HONEST leader; [[Christian Weston Chandler]].}}
<noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]][[Category:Group userboxes]]</noinclude>
<includeonly>[[Category:Members of the Workers' Party of CWCville]]</includeonly>

Template:CWCvilleWorkersParty

2013-02-21T08:35:36Z

Smugleaf:

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #00000
|id-bg-col= #193b73
|id-border-col= #DF0101
|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #DF0101
|info-border-col = #DF0101
|id= [[Image:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|55px|American Flag]]
|info= '''Workers' Party of CWCville''': This user is a member of the Workers' Party of [[CWCville]]. Praise the TRUE and HONEST leader; [[Christian Weston Chandler]].}}
<noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]][[Category:Group userboxes]]</noinclude>
<includeonly>[[Category:Members of the Workers' Party of CWCville {{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T08:35:07Z

Smugleaf:

I usually just update the PSN tracker and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{CWCvilleWorkersParty}}

Template:CWCvilleWorkersParty

2013-02-21T08:34:33Z

Smugleaf: Created page with "{{userbox |box-border-col= #0000FF |box-bg-col= #00000 |id-bg-col= #193b73 |id-border-col= #DF0101 |info-col= #fff |info-bg-col= #DF0101 |info-border-col = #DF0101 |id= [[Imag..."

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #00000
|id-bg-col= #193b73
|id-border-col= #DF0101
|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #DF0101
|info-border-col = #DF0101
|id= [[Image:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|55px|American Flag]]
|info= '''Workers' Party of CWCville''': This user is a member of the Workers' Party of [[CWCville]]. Praise the TRUE and HONEST leader; [[Christian Weston Chandler]].}}
<noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]][[Category:Group userboxes]]</noinclude>
<includeonly>[[Members of the Workers' Party of CWCville {{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T07:36:28Z

Smugleaf:

[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|250px]]
 I am a member of the Worker's Party of CWCville
 ---- 
I usually just update the PSN tracker and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary.
{{Australian}}
{{Bisexual}}
{{Weeaboo}}

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T07:34:46Z

Smugleaf:

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T07:32:40Z

Smugleaf:

User:Smugleaf

2013-02-21T07:32:29Z

Smugleaf:

User:Smugleaf

2013-01-26T15:06:52Z

Smugleaf:

Talk:2013

2013-01-26T02:33:42Z

Smugleaf:

==why am important??==
Who cares that the DSM-V is coming out, unless the APA is reclassifying high-function autism as something else? If that is the case, we should make a note of it. [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 19:27, 20 January 2012 (PST)
*I really don't see why this is relevant to Chris, it's interesting, and I understand that they're redefining Asperger syndrome but unless Chris mentions it, it really doesn't belong here. It comes off as filler. Seriously, we've got a year, we don't need an entire page to 2013 yet. Hell, Chris might die this year or go to prison or something, we might not even need a 2013 page. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:48, 21 January 2012 (PST)
** Seriously though, this page is really unnecessary. The only two events listed are birthdays. Why should we not then create a page for 2014 (Chris turns 31, Barb turns 73) and for 2015 and for 2016 and so on ad infinitum? Why not just delete it? [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 16:35, 22 January 2012 (PST)
::*Good thinking, I don't know why I didn't see that. But since it's almost 2013, I think we should stop making articles for individual months, unless Chris comes back to the Internet which I highly doubt. So instead of linking to [[January 2013]], we'd just make a subsection on this page, i.e. 2013#January. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:24, 30 December 2012 (PST)
==Probation==
Due to Chris's probation ending on the July 10th, I think I should be worth noting that July 2013 might start up more of the Chris trolling as his community service ends, and assuming he wouldn't have learnt anything other than not to run people over. --The TRUE and HONEST [[User:Smugleaf|Smugleaf Tsutarja]] 18:33, 25 January 2013 (PST)

User:Smugleaf

2013-01-16T08:51:15Z

Smugleaf: Created page with "I usually just update the PSN tracker and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary."

I usually just update the PSN tracker and do piping when I think it's 'funny' or necessary.

Template:PSNTracker

2013-01-16T08:42:35Z

Smugleaf:

<center>
[[Image:PSNTracker.png|PSN Activity tracker]] 
'''Chris''' was last spotted playing '''''[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet 2|LittleBigPlanet 2]]'''''. 
Chris has spent over '''$6,127.64''' of [[monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]! 
Chris's [[PSN]] is '''Sonichu'''. You can see his profile [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].
</center>

<noinclude>[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:PSNTracker

2013-01-15T02:29:32Z

Smugleaf:

<center>
[[Image:PSNTracker.png|PSN Activity tracker]] 
'''Chris''' was last spotted playing '''''[[Wikipedia:NBA Jam (2010 video game)|NBA JAM: On Fire Edition]]'''''. 
Chris has spent over '''$6,127.64''' of [[monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]! 
Chris's [[PSN]] is '''Sonichu'''. You can see his profile [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].
</center>

<noinclude>[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>