CWCki - User contributions [en]

Hotel Ricky Ricardo

2010-07-28T20:39:22Z

Snergg: fixing link or whatever

[[Image:HotelRickyRicardo.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's impression. Those who try to check out end up like the guy by the road. ''You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...'']]
'''Hotel Ricky Ricardo''' (also translated as '''Hotel Richy Ricardo''') is a Spanish class assignment in which [[Chris]] describes a hotel as he would run it. It was discovered in the site archives released by [[Clyde Cash]] in [[October 2009]]. The whole thing is a bizarre combination of Chris's horrible version of Spanish (requiring liberal insertions of [sic]), combined with the relatively innocent naiveté of a seemingly normal childhood, as demonstrated by choosing to inhabit his fictional hotel with children's video game characters. This sort of thing is common amongst children as old as 8, which should really tell you something about Chris's mental maturity, as he wrote this when he was "barely" 18 years old.

Chris also includes himself when listing activities for employees and clients (although he doesn't always clarify which is which) as well as some other people he knows. Amongst the other, mundane activities such as Chris playing videogames with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], or [[Rosechu|Amy Rose]] going shopping is one strangely poignant mention of Chris's [[Barbara|mother]] getting angry and yelling at his [[Robert|father]].

Of note, Chris places himself in the category of "great artists", alongside Michelangelo and DaVinci. [[Chris and art|You keep telling yourself that, Chris]].

==Original text==

:[[Ricardo]] W. Chandler.
:12/3/Y2K Español II, 7.
:Hotel Richy Ricardo Rough Draft:

===I. La Guia Michelin:===

:Richy Ricardo, pl Estación, 4692, 634 92 10,
:Telex 83392-

Com 2100, 200 hab, 15.500/21.000 pesetas ($1,550/$2,100).

===II Descripción del Hotel:===

El hotel, Richy Ricardo, es un hotel de gran confort. Tiene un restaurante y está en la Plaza Estación. El número de teléfono es 634 92 10. Tiene un ascensor, una piscina y un garaje. En las habitaciones, hay un televisor, aire acondicionado, y un sistema de los juegos de videos, Sega Dreamcast. Y con el Dreamcast hay muchos juegos de videos y acceso al internet. Puede comprar o alquilar un Jump Pack o un VMU para el Dreamcast en el recepción. Hay un teléfono a las habitaciones. En este hotel hay 200 habitaciones. Una habitación cuesta entre 15.500 y 21.000 pesetas ($1,550 y 2,100 dolares americanos). El desayuno está incluido en el precio de la habitación. Aceptan tres tarjetas de crédito: American Express, Visa y Discovery. También aceptan unos cheques de viajero.

===III En Nuestras Habitaciones Hay...:===

# En las habitaciones hay una cama matrimonial y dos camas sencillas.
# En las habitaciones hay un clóset grande y un escritorio.
# En las habitaciones hay una mesita de noche pequeña.
# En las habitaciones hay una cómoda grande y cuatro cajones.
# En las habitaciones hay dos sillas, una mesita de café, un sillón comodo y un sofá.
# En las habitaciones hay unos cuadros do los artistas buenos: DeVinci, Michalanglo y C.W. Chandler.
# En las habitaciones hay una ducha, un W.C., un lavabo y un espejo largo.
# En las habitaciones hay un televisor pesado.
# En las habitaciones hay una sistema de los juegos do videos: Sega Dreamcast con unos juegos de videos; muy moderno.
# En las habitaciones hay un estante formal.

===IV Las Actividades de nuestros Empleados y nuestros Clientes del Hotel:===

# Nuestro cliente, Sonic el Puerco Espino juege a la guitarra para las chicas bonitas cerca de la piscina.
# Nuestro cliente, Amy Rose va de compras en las tiendas de departamento cerca del hotel.
# Nuestro emplejado, Jose hace las comidas en la cocina.
# La Sra. Cox juege al juego de video, Hydro Thunder con su hijo pequeño, Christian Cox.
# El Sr. Cox juege al tenis en el parque que está lejos del hotel.
# Cada noche, Sr. [[Red Skelton]] dice muchos chistes comicos en nuestro restraunte.
# Yo hago mi website de Pokémon, El PokéSite de RWC 2!
# Knuckles sube el muro del hotel.
# Tails cria los chaoes en el jardín del Chao.
# La empleada, Tiffany lava las toallas, las ropas y las cortinas del hotel.
# La empleada, Kellie arregla los muebles en las habitaciones.
# Mi madre discute con mi padre cuándo están enojados.
# Los chaoes nadan en el lago del jardín.
# Christian Cox está enojado si no durmió bien.
# Sonic y yo jugamos al juego de video, Sonic Adventure; Sonic tiene mas puntos que mi.

===V El Presidente del Hotel: Ricardo W. Chandler.===

¡Hola! Me llamo Ricardo. Yo tengo 18 años. Soy alto y delgado. Tengo el pelo pardo, un ojo azul y un ojo verde. Soy honesto; a mi, me gusta decir la verdad. Soy inteligente; yo sé las matemáticas, Español, fotografía y la computadora. Soy divertido; yo juego unos juegos de videos y el juego de las tarjetas de Pokémon. Soy un artista; me gusta hacer mucho arte. Tenga un buen día.

==Translation==

===I. The Michelin Guide:===

Richy Ricardo, Station pl, 4692, 634 92 10,
Telex 83392-

Com 2100 200 rooms, 15.500/21.000 pesetas ($1,550/$2,100).

===II Hotel Description:===

This hotel, [[I Love Lucy|Richy Ricardo]], is a hotel of great comfort. It has a restaurant which is in the [[Station Square|Station Plaza]]. The telephone number is 634 92 10. It has an elevator, a pool and a [[Son-chu|garage]]. In the rooms, there is a television set, air conditioning, and a video game system, Sega Dreamcast. And for the Dreamcast there are many games and Internet access. You can buy or rent a Jump Pack or a VMU for the dreamcast at the lobby. There is a telephone in each room. In this hotel there are 200 rooms. A room costs between [[Chris and money|15.500 and 21.000 pesetas ($1,550 and 2,100 american dollars)]]. Breakfast is included with the room price. They accept three credit cards: American Express, Visa and Discovery. They also accept some traveler checks.

===III In our rooms there are...:===

# In the rooms there is a [[Fuck Quest|double sized bed]] and two single beds.
# In the rooms there is a [[Chris's Room|big closet]] and a desk.
# In the rooms there is a small nightstand.
# In the rooms there is a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|big commode]] and [it should say "with"] four drawers.
# In the rooms there are two chairs, a coffee table, a comfy loveseat and a couch.
# In the rooms there are paintings made by the best artists: DeVinci (sic), Michalanglo (sic) and [[Chris and his ego|C.W. Chandler.]]
# In the rooms there is a [[Axe|shower]], a toilet, a sink and a long [probably meant to say "large"] mirror.
# In the rooms there is a heavy[?] television set.
# In the rooms there is a video game system: Sega Dreamcast with some video games; very modern.
# In the rooms there is a formal shelf.

===IV Our employees and client's activities:===

# Our client, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic the Hedge Hog]] [sic] plays [misspelled; should've used "toca" instead] the [[Gitar of Fail|guitar]] for the pretty girls near the pool.
# Our client, [[women's rights|Amy goes shopping in the department stores near the hotel.]]
# Our employee, Jose makes the foods in the kitchen.
# Mrs. [[Duck|Cox]] plays the video game, Hydro Thunder with his small son, Christian Cox.
# Mr. Cox plays [misspelled here as "juegue"] tennis in the park which is far from away from the hotel.
# Each night, Mr. [[Red Skelton]] says lots of funny jokes in our restaurant.
# I make my Pokémon website, RWC's Pokésite 2!
# Knuckles climbs the hotel's wall.
# Tails raises the Chaoes in the Chao garden [translated as Chao's garden by Chris, as if Chao was an actual person].
# The employee, [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]] washes the towels, clothes and the hotel's curtains.
# The employee, [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]] fixes the rooms' furniture.
# My [[Barbara|mother]] argues with my [[Robert|father]] when they are [[Chris and Anger|angry]].
# The Chaoes swim in the garden's lake.
# Christian Cox is mad if he didn't sleep well.
# Sonic and I play the video game, Sonic Adventure; [[fail|Sonic has more points than me]].

===V The President of the Hotel: Ricardo W. Chandler.===

Hello! My name is Ricardo. I am 18 years old. I am tall and [[obesity|slim]]. I have brown hair, [[heterochromia|one blue eye and one green eye]]. I am [[honest content|honest]]; I, [[Lie|like to tell the truth]]. I am smart; I know maths, Spanish, photography and the computer. I am fun; I play some video games and the Pokémon card game. [[Chris and art|I am an artist;]] I like to make a lot of art. Have a nice day.

==See also==
*[[Spanish]]
[[Category:Prose]]

Flipnote Hatena

2010-07-03T17:41:39Z

Snergg: capitalization error

[[File:100 0682.JPG|thumb|Chris on his DSi at [[Fridays After Five]], complete with Artist Asscrack]]

'''Flipnote Studio''' is a free downloadable application for the [[Nintendo]] DSi. It allows users to create both word and picture-based notes with the stylus, add sound, and put them together to create frame-by-frame flipbook-style animations. '''Flipnote Hatena''' is a website where users can upload and share their Flipnote creations, and other users can comment on them either by text, or by creating a flipnote.

In [[June 2010]], [[Chris]] was spotted at a [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]]. Among some very disturbing behavior, Chris was seen sitting down and playing with his DSi for some time while at this event. It later came to light that he was spending his time on Flipnote Hatena, drawing comments in reply to various Flipnotes.

Chris has also given himself a lot of stars on his own creations to give himself praise. He gave himself 10 on HippoOnYourHead and 91 on Don'tGetTrolled. Chris has done countless things to inflate his [[ego]] in the past, but this is just sad.

Chris has also plagiarized the 1983 animated ''Peanuts'' cartoon [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0I#t=00m58s "Sally at School"] to produce two of his shorts. The dialogue from the first few minutes of this is stolen, almost verbatim (the word "princess" is replaced with "sexy, beautiful woman" because Chris has a one-track mind) and used in these crude animations.

Chris's flipnotes started to be taken down, starting with [[RomanticLabyrinth]]. The flipnote was likely taken down for being too sexually explicit for the family-friendly site, but other videos with less risque content were taken down as well. It turns out simply including your name or asking for personal information is enough to breach the rules. Either way, he acquired the attention of the site's mods.

After trying to reupload some of his removed flipnotes, he was banned from uploading more notes with his DSi. Unless he [[Monthly Tugboat|wastes some taxpayer money buying a new one just for this]], Chris is done with Flipnote. And only after two weeks!

==Chris's Flipnotes==
:''Main Article: [[List of Flipnotes]]''

==Chris's comments==
Chris's comments on Flipnote Hatena were much like his comments anywhere else on the [[Internet]], self-centered and devoid of any follow-up. While most of them were short negative statements towards works he thought were a little too trollish, one five-part self-pitying rant, posted in response to a song about trolling, stood out.

{{quotebox|You're singing [[Song of Christian|my song]]. I was [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Internet Famous]]... HUGE MISTAKE! Right now, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I have removed Most Every... thing about myself... ...from the internet.]] now there is only [[Honest Content|FALSE info]] on me that THEY have crafted and spread to Bad-Rep me. And worse they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|gross, uncool amusement]]. I WANT TO GO BACK TO A [[PS3|NORMAL]] [[PSP|REAL]] [[Nintendo|LIFE]] [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|OFF THE FRIGGIN' INTERNET!!!]] AND I WANT MY "REP" CLEAN OF THEIR CRAP! DO you have any advice to help me clear their crap off me?}}

<center><gallery>
File:Flipnote Comment-Boo.png|"Boo!" <ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/528A60A031CE1B4A@DSi/movie/CE1B4A_0913C2B460C58_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Louder.png|"Could you make the voice louder + easier to comprehend, please?"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5FC3E3901E322457@DSi/movie/322457_090A9EC784BF8_004</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-My Trolls.png|"[[Trolls|My Trolls]] did that to [[:Category:Chris's websites|my past websites]] too. I felt [[CWC is Sad|hurt deeply]] too."<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09B980C6E6C6C_008</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Raised Eyebrow.png| "C.W.C"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/564B6A901E271928@DSi/movie/271928_09116B059D18A_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Cow.png|Some other retarded comment about a cow<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5CBA58B0A0E99197@DSi/movie/E99197_09C227C76EF8A_013</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 1.png|Part 1<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 2.png|Part 2
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 3.png|Part 3
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 4.png|Part 4
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 5.png|Part 5<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:HippoHeadComment.png|Response to comment in "Hippo on your head"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000#5348F770A0A92AE8-c11540466809528558685</ref>
File:Diamon1.png|
File:Diamon2.png|
File:Diamon3.png|
File:Flipbookhonorroll.png|True words of [[honor roll|geinus]]
File:Flipnotegood.png|If Chris says you're a good artist, you must be really good!
File:Flipnotevoice.png|Not a [[pedofork]]!
File:CWCcomment1.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 "That was Sweeet.] I can tell you have a [[Bubbles|bubbly]] personality from your style. Your [[JERK|Boyfriend]] is lucky to...
File:CWCcomment2.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 ...to have a] [[gal-pal|gal]] like you. :) Stay Sweet & Safe, Christian Weston Chandler. PS: Thanks for Faving me <strike>something</strike> back.
File:Flipnoteninja.png|
</gallery></center>

Comments left on other videos without a picture:
Why can't I find THIS FlipNote on my DSi, even through YOUR Profile's Posted F.N. pages? I want to download it; it IS funny. [:)]
- In response to a flipnote that is completely ripped off from Family Guy.

==Chris's Favorites==
What Chris has favored should not come as a surprise. A lot of them involve [[Sonic]], [[Pokemon]], and [[Family Guy]], proving that, even after all this time, he still likes those series. As well, Chris has favored a number of [[gal-pal|female-drawn]] animations, done in [[anime]]-like styling and done with a particularly ''shoujou-ai''/''yuri'' ([[homos|lesbian]], for those not into [[animu]]) flavor.

==See Also==
*[[List of Flipnotes]]
*[[Youtube]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/ Chris's Flipnote Hatena profile]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/comments Flipnotes Chris left comments on]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/following Flipnotes from creators Chris is following]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/favorites Flipnotes Chris starred as favorites]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/ch/11543000155817181722 The official Sonichu Flipnote Channel.]

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category: Flipnote Hatena]]
[[Category:Websites]]

RomanticLabyrinth

2010-07-03T17:39:45Z

Snergg: typo

[[File:Report.png|thumb|What had to be done.]]

'''An Ol' Classic Dream''', later renamed '''RomanticLabyrinth''', is the tenth animation Chris posted to [[Flipnote Hatena]]. It is essentially one of Chris's [[sex]] fantasies conveyed in Flipnote form and is, of course, completely horrifying. It is, as the name suggests, based off of the [[Dreams#The_watery_maze_dream|watery maze dream]], albeit featuring ([[Chris and Censorship|censored]]) [[Duck|genitalia]] (complete with erection), nipples, and [[china]], as well as implied [[Giant Penis Comic|sex]] - note that [[Chris and the Internet|this is predictably and clearly against the rules of Flipnote Hatena]]. Chris then demands that his fellow Flipnote Hatena users shower him in literally millions of stars in order for him to post an uncensored version, which, of course, would violate the website's terms of service even ''more'' and which, regardless, no one would ever want to see.

Flipnote Hatena, being a family-friendly organization totally antithetical to Chris's perverse delusions, removed the video minutes after it went up. Fortunately for us (or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint), citizens of the [[CWCki]] were able to save an archival copy of the animation even faster, and [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] had soon mirrored it.

This animation features some of Chris's more disturbing thoughts on romance: sex is love, people fall in love from merely looking at each other, and a stranger getting visibly erect in front of you isn't creepy whatsoever.

==Video==
{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = An Ol' Classic Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|z0iYHA41Ntk}}
| stardate = June 27, 2010
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| previous = [[Edit Me]]
| next = [[For_Women_ONLY]]
}}

==Transcript==

[''A title card appears: "An Ol' Classic Dream... 18+ Only". The 18 appears to have been [[Pedofork|hastily altered from a 13]].'']

[''A maze is displayed, showing a staircase and two dots. The dots move towards each other. The camera zooms in on the dots, and an arrow is drawn pointing to one of them, labeled "ME".'']

[''A naked, anatomically-correct male stick figure (with a censored penis) is shown wading through a watery hallway, presumably within the maze. He looks around and notices something; lines indicating surprise appear over his head. He smiles. The camera moves to the left, revealing a naked, anatomically-correct female stick figure (with censored nipples and vagina). The male stick figure's censor box grows longer, indicating an erection. A heart appears in a thought bubble above both stick figures' heads.'']

[''The stick figures are shown in a different, watery room. They move towards each other and make out. A heart appears around the two of them.'']

[''This situation is then shown to be a dream that Chris is having.'']

LOVELY WOMAN, I LOVE YOU! ♥

IF ONLY I KNEW WHO YOU ARE IN REALITY

[''Chris's signature appears above the Flipnote Chris's head.'']

TO ENJOY THIS DREAM UNCENSORED, OFFER A TOTAL SUM OF [[Chris and his Ego|FIVE MILLION]]...

STARS ☆ INCLUDING 100 GREEN, 10 RED, 10 BLUE...

5 PURPLE AND 5 ORANGE.

[[Chris and music|Music: "City in the Clouds" by Howard Drossin]]

Have a Good and Safe Day. ''Christian W. Chandler.''

== Later Versions ==
[[File:ThirdLabyrinth.gif|thumb|The third and final version.]]
As any sane person would guess, the mods brought the hammer down on Chris's sex fantasy very, very quickly. And as anybody with even a causal knowledge of Chris would guess, he was less than happy. Not long after the first version was taken down, Chris put up a new version with both characters wearing hastily-drawn-on clothing (reminiscent of the edits made to [[Sonichu 8]]) and the hard-on replaced by a [[semen|strange white cloud]]. This was removed after being reported again. Chris then attempted to upload a ''third'' version, this one preceded by a long self-aggrandizing rant begging the site's administrators not to delete it and to participate in his crusade against any form of negative feedback.

{{quotebox|<nowiki>*</nowiki>I want to NOTE, the "RomanticLabyrinth" FlipNote is NOT

Inappropriate; the People are CLOTHED, THERE IS NO VIOLENCE,

THERE IS NO FLASHING! I WILL NOT BE DELETED FROM TROLLS WHO...

FALSELY REPORT MY ROMANTIC FANTASY AND MY STRAIGHTNESS AS A VIOLATION,

Just so those DANG Idiots can get away portraying me as a Homosexual Which IS WRONG!!!

Admins of F.N. Hatena who see my complaint here, please monitor ALL comments posted

anywher [sic] on F.N.H.; it is Very Difficult to Locate and Block Every Single One, Only to have them

create NEW Accounts ONLY TO Continue Trolling Me Like They've done so far. And please

allow me to keep my account on F.N.H. and allow my RomanticLabyrinth to Stay as my

Own FlipNote On the Hatena in the name of MY Right to speak of myself for myself and

Not be described by False Rumors fabricated by the Trollin' Stupid People.

Thank You. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.}}

The second version followed after the text. The mods deleted this one so quickly that nobody was actually able to see the video on it's own page. Its thumbnail is all the evidence we have that it ever existed at all.

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena]]

Homos

2010-06-25T00:27:21Z

Snergg: /* Evidence that Chris is a homo */

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
</center>

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)
|Chris<ref>[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]</ref>
}}
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|'''STAY STRAIGHT!''']]

The pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie. Note the kid on the left staring at Chris.]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of four possibilities:

# Chris is a heterosexual idiot, so he thinks the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed homosexual, so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is bisexual, yet his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is asexual and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris being attracted to them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 02 January 2009, Chris made this statement:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in co-ed prisons with other female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|March 10]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

On 14 June 2009, he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from the pilot episode of ''The Boondocks.''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than LBP), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian." He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself. It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call gay a synonym for stupid.

In the mailbag section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, 2009, the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year 2010, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On January 5th, Chris responded a [[mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on January 7th, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

==Evidence that Chris is a homo==
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[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.

* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.

* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.

* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.

* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.

* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.

*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>

*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>

* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.

* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.

* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.

* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then [[Lie|immediately denies it's been up his butt]]. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."

* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|February 05 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.

* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.

* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].

* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].

* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.

* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.

*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.

* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the Backstreet Boys, one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a Ricky Martin song. This music was popular among 13 year old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.

* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women.]]

* He implores men to wear [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|muscle bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref> <ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.

* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.

* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).

* In addition, the article for Homosexuality was created August 8th, 2009. The article for [[Rosechu|Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until 6 months later.

* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of ''Sex and the City: The Movie'' (which has a huge gay following) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.

* While narrating the [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] Chris called PandaHalo his "partner," a term sometimes used by gays and lesbians to refer to the person they're dating.

* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.

* Chris reacts to Alec Benson Leary's [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.

* In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off his temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs (amazingly, the latter appears to be some bizarre version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_sensitization covert sensitization] with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

Recently, it seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|- Matthew 28, [[chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>

*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>

*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>

*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|I CAME OUT OF MY]] AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>

*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>

*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2010-06-25T00:26:31Z

Snergg: fixing link

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{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)
|Chris<ref>[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]</ref>
}}
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|'''STAY STRAIGHT!''']]

The pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie. Note the kid on the left staring at Chris.]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of four possibilities:

# Chris is a heterosexual idiot, so he thinks the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed homosexual, so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is bisexual, yet his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is asexual and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris being attracted to them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 02 January 2009, Chris made this statement:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in co-ed prisons with other female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|March 10]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

On 14 June 2009, he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from the pilot episode of ''The Boondocks.''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than LBP), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian." He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself. It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call gay a synonym for stupid.

In the mailbag section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, 2009, the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year 2010, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On January 5th, Chris responded a [[mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on January 7th, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

==Evidence that Chris is a homo==
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
</center>

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.

* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.

* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.

* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.

* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.

* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.

*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>

*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>

* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.

* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.

* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.

* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then [[Lie|immediately denies it's been up his butt]]. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."

* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|February 05 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.

* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.

* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].

* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].

* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.

* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.

*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.

* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the Backstreet Boys, one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a Ricky Martin song. This music was popular among 13 year old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.

* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays after Five|try to attract women.]]

* He implores men to wear [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|muscle bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref> <ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.

* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.

* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).

* In addition, the article for Homosexuality was created August 8th, 2009. The article for [[Rosechu|Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until 6 months later.

* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of ''Sex and the City: The Movie'' (which has a huge gay following) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.

* While narrating the [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] Chris called PandaHalo his "partner," a term sometimes used by gays and lesbians to refer to the person they're dating.

* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.

* Chris reacts to Alec Benson Leary's [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.

* In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off his temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs (amazingly, the latter appears to be some bizarre version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_sensitization covert sensitization] with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

Recently, it seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|- Matthew 28, [[chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>

*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>

*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>

*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|I CAME OUT OF MY]] AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>

*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>

*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Template:Da update

2010-06-13T19:13:27Z

Snergg: typo

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Snyder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.
* 30 May - [[Vivian Gee]] takes over [[CWCipedia]] from [[Mao]], who now shares copyrights to the entire ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' franchise with [[Alec]]. ''[[Sonichu Season 2]]'' begins.
* 27 May - Chris uploads [[100_2188]], where he whines about trolls and insists that he's straight. Again. He also announces he abandons CWCipedia.
* 26 May - CWCipedia gets vandalized (again).
* 20 May - Chris talks about his [[Some Favored Comedians|favorite comedians]] for an excruciating ten minutes, but apparently [[Bob]] is still alive.
* 16 May - A [[Autism Awareness E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]] from an [[autism]] awareness volunteer chronicles her doomed attempts to talk some sense into Chris.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

McDonald's

2010-06-12T17:29:54Z

Snergg: capitalization errors

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|I don't go to McDonald's often, maybe 2 or 3 times a week.|Chris}}

[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|A typical visit to McDonald's]]

'''[[Wikipedia:McDonald's|McDonald's]]''' is [[CWC|Chris's]] restaurant of choice. Chris's ideal first [[dating|date]] would take place here. His favorite items are Chicken McNuggets and the $1 sweet tea.

Chris met the real life [[B-Manajerk]] in a Wal-Mart McDonald's.

Based on reports from [[Ivy]] in [[Mumble]] on 28 March [[2009]], Chris's preference for McDonald's is symbolic of his conflict with [[Bob Chandler|his dad]], who prefers Burger King.

===Possible cause for health problems===
Chris' [[Chris and health|inactive lifestyle and constant consumption of McDonald's]] may contribute to his growing [[obesity]], as well as his high cholesterol. The number of times Chris claims to eat food from McDonald's, two or three times a week, is equivalent to going about 130 times a year. At this rate of consumption, Chris will likely develop serious medical problems. It's possible that he might develop heart disease or type 2 diabetes in the near future if he continues to live the way he does. The likelihood of him passing away before the age of 50 due to heart attack or stroke increases each month. It also doesn't seem to help that he doesn't realize just how bad fast food is. He mentioned once that ordering a chicken salad is healthier, which is a common misconception. Salads at most restaurants, especially fast food chains, come with full fat dressing with high-fructose corn syrup, which makes his salad almost as bad as a hamburger, and that the chicken is most likely pumped with hormones before being slaughtered, processed, and shipped, though he probably doesn't eat salads, he eats the McNuggets, and even if he did eat the salads, he's probably eating it topped with fried chicken. Let's not forget to mention that he drinks the sweet tea, which likely also contains high-fructose corn syrup, and he likely eats french fries with his meals.

==Conflict with Kacey==
During Chris's abortive attempt to win over [[Kacey]] as his [[sweetheart]], at her behest he made a feeble effort to clean up his act as far as exercise and eating right. One of Kacey's particular demands was that Chris quit eating fast food, an expectation he almost entirely failed to live up to. During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey and her father]], he claimed to have cut down to one McDonald's trip per week at best, and even that was unquestionably a lie.

Since Kacey's marriage to [[Liquid Chris]] in mid-November 2009, the McNuggets have almost certainly resumed their steady march down Chris's bottomless gullet.

==In the comics==
[[Image:Punchyfeedslayla.jpg|thumb|right|300px|"Have some fistfull fries!"]]
* There is a McDonald's in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* [[Sub-Episodes]] [[Sub-Episode_4#Sub-Episode_4:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack.22|4]] and [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_5:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack_part_2.22|5]] take place in "the city of M-C-Dville, of the region of [[Mal-Wart]]."
* A McDonald's ripoff, CWCee Dees (pronounced like "Mickey Dee's") appears in [[Sonichu 9]], where it seems to be a popular place to go on a date. [[Punchy]] took [[Layla]] there on their first date.

==McDonald's Monopoly 2009==
Chris has been stuffing his fat fucking face full of this shit since the Monopoly 2009 promotion started. He claimed to not care about it in a [[Brutal Legend Plus|video]], only to [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Results|create more accounts later and enter 65 codes from purchased goods]].

===Account 1 (October 6 - October 20)===
52 codes (43 of them from purchased things)

*52. St. Charles Place
*51. Oriental Avenue
*50. Baltic Avenue
*49. Park Place
*48. Marvin Gardens

===Account 2 (October 21)===
11 codes (10 of them from purchased things)

*11. Park Place
*10. North Carolina Avenue
*9. Illinois Avenue
*8. Community Chest (2)
*7. Oriental Avenue

===Account 3 (October 22 - October 23)===
7 codes (6 of them from purchased things)

*7. Park Place
*6. Community Chest (3)
*5. Illinois Avenue
*4. New York Avenue
*3. Electric Company

===Account 4 (October 23 - October 28)===
8 codes (6 from purchased things)

*8. Reading Railroad
*7. Luxury Tax
*6. North Carolina Avenue
*5. B. & O. Railroad
*4. Pennsylvania Railroad

{{Lists}}

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Places]]

User:Snergg

2010-05-31T20:11:38Z

Snergg: Created page with 'sup dawg we heard you like sonichu so we put some CADD in your brain so you can play PS3 while you act like a retarded manchild'

sup dawg we heard you like sonichu so we put some CADD in your brain so you can play PS3 while you act like a retarded manchild

Template:Quote of the now

2010-05-31T20:09:25Z

Snergg: added an "s" to "troll"

{{quote|[[Trolls|Computer-heads]], go get your own [[PS3|life]]!|[[Chris]], [[100_2188]]}}
<noinclude>
{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]]. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible and use links sparingly.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Adult Swim

2010-05-30T19:40:38Z

Snergg: changed a few words, corrected a few spacing and capitalization errors.

'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], catering primarily to adults age 18-24.

Due to [[Chris's]] [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random-access humor]].

He has also downloaded many episodes of various Adult Swim series through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]] -- almost $120 worth, as of fall 2009.

Of interesting note is the show ''[[Wikipedia:Moral Orel|Moral Orel]]'' (which ended in 2008), which is a claymation mainly focused at pointing out the inherent fallacies and ignorance of fundamentalist Protestantism, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of. Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". It is likely that all of the jokes and truths go right over his head.

It is also unknown if he watches Metalocalypse, although he probably hates it because of [[pickles|the drummer's name]]. It's also not known if Chris watches ''The Venture Bros.'' as the character of Dr. Girlfriend has a man's voice.
==Shows that Chris watches==
*''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman|Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Family Guy]]
*''[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*''[[Officer Keino|Home Movies]]''
*Assorted [[anime]]
*''Tom Goes To The Mayor (this is where he stole the idea of having a mayor's office inside a shopping mall)

==See also==
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]

{{stub}}

Autism

2010-05-30T19:24:40Z

Snergg: corrected some capitalization errors.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown but has been shown to have a genetic factor, but it begins in children under the age of 3 and generally irreversible; there is no cure. Autistic individuals are not necessarily retarded--some have above-average intelligence--although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outsized praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, even the most casual of observers would conclude that Chris [[fail|is basically non-functioning.]]

Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|in the exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]]. The irony of his resent for 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severly autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has, being the autism-nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.{{cite}} Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never [[Blanca|had]] a [[Julie|real]] [[Ivy|girlfriend]], and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite all this though, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However this also means that he has the same medical condition as Bill Gates and the creator of Pokemon, yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure is utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now God can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how an [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk; as Chris himself puts it, "God put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandler's legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seems to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven--that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioninig individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural Relationships with objects is also a definate sign of Autism, this is evident in Chris due to his obbsession with his Sonichu Medallion. Since Autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependant on objects.

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==

{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's bad, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder. Per the lyrics: "A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!" To Chris, that's all it is--a condition that makes you a little smart and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris considers himself to be of "the First Generation of Autistic People," suggesting that he believes the disorder did not even exist before him.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers Christian Weston Chandler's Opinion on the Autisim/Aspergers Comparison.]</ref>

When explaining his condition to [[Matt Devoria]], Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors, despite scientific research to the contrary. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents (Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived) are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Chris's specific agenda on this issue is clearly based on his desire to have non-autistic children, and his fear that potential [[sweetheart]]s (or their parents) will reject him if they think he will sire nothing but retarded babies.

On at least one occasion, Chris has blamed the cause of autism on "a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth,"<ref>[[Mailbag 12]]</ref>, apparently in reference to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|fringe theory]] that MMR vaccinations cause autism. Chris seems oblivious to the fact that this completely contradicts his usual babysitter story.

Inexplicably, Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism (high-functioning or otherwise) with [[Asperger's syndrome]], a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times Chris has said that he dislikes Asperger's because advocates of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy from autism awareness. He's also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger's was the most effective way to troll him, culminating in the [[Asperchu]] saga. By now Chris just hates Asperger's because it reminds how angry he got the last time someone brought it up, so his hatred of it has become completely baseless. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a superior tier of social retardation.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality (Lack of Sex-drive) Is very common in autistic people, this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "Love Quest" and suggests that he is probably trying to compensate for his inabillity to feel sexual attraction, even if that does mean becoming a pervert.

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he opined that our society is spending so much time on the internet that we're ''all'' becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> Nope, sorry, it's just you, Chris.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitantly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a PlayStation 3). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is--a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]