CWCki - User contributions [en]

File talk:Chris-CatBurp.PNG

2010-02-13T08:07:46Z

SnorlaXBOX:

Whoever made this, you're clearly some sort of beautiful, evil mastermind.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:19, 13 February 2010 (UTC)
* Why, thank you. Which reminds me, I should probably try to illustrate some of the Alec phone calls. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 08:07, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Sonichu 10

2010-01-20T04:53:42Z

SnorlaXBOX: /*Recent Pages/*

==Continuity==
You know, my own theory is that Chris's fucked up numbering system finally managed to confuse Chris himself and/or he just lost track. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:40, 15 March 2009 (CET)

So, if the medallion never gave him power, that means that the entire Anchuent Prophecy is null in void, and none of the events following Sonichu entering the mystic cave could have ever happened.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

Not to mention as well that it's obvious that the "high school ring" was just made up at the last second. If his high school ring gave him the power all this time, then why did he even have the retarded medallion in the first place? Speaking of the medallion, how did he obtain it before the Anchuent Prophecy if that was a key piece in the plot? It wasn't even explained WHY he decided "Hey, I'm gonna wear a medallion of a creature before the creature is even introduced everyday for no apparent reason!" Besides that, if the ring gave the power, why is the spot where his Sonichu medallion his weak point? Following the laws of most video games (knowing Chris abides by them), when you attack the source of power on a boss enemy, that is usually their weak point. I mean, does he not even care about the story anymore? GODDAMMIT CHRIS YOU'RE MAKING ME WORSE THAN YOU WITH MY RAMBLINGS. FUCK. --[[User:Wild Sonichu|Wild Sonichu]] 04:38, 6 May 2009 (CEST)

I find the idea of continuity in ''Sonichu'' comics quite upsetting. It was as if Chris had enough forethought to plan the whole thing. He was always impulsive over the whole storyline, mostly engrossed by a quest of pitiful revenge. I am ready to bet an old 5$ bill that, if he's called over the whole lack of continuity regarding the Anchuent Prophecy, he will just make the tribe leader appear on one page and say "No, that's cool". He's a crappy storyteller, that's all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:05, 9 December 2009 (CET)

Well, he's all caught up with the pages and... it's funny. He didn't change the part where he sent his medallion to his "sweetheart", Blanca... despite the fact that he just set up a date with Lovely. LOL.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 08:32, 22 December 2009 (CET)

Ya know, I just realized that his comics never had a plot up until Crystal got trapped in the mirror. Look over the comics and you'll find that this is the ONE AND ONLY ongoing conflict in the entire fucking "series". Everything else is resolved in one "episode" except for the Off target sub episodes, which was resolved in two episodes. Regardless of how little the comics after Crystal got trapped in the mirror focused on her, it's been completely about finding the Sonichu testicles to save her. Sure, he's taken the majority of the time she's been gone trying to "expand" upon his characters but like I said, saving Crystal stretched over five of his shitty comics.----rob

==Fun fact about Lovely Weather==
Chris thinks it's [[random access humor|fucking hilarious]] to sing (to the tune of "Sleigh Ride"): "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with..." over and over. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:28, 9 December 2009 (CET)

*That sounds like a drag queen name. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 11:02, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**I don't understand. I'm scared.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:20, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**I was going to say it sounds like a show dog name, but I think I like Anaconda's comparison better --[[User:TheyCalledMeMad|TheyCalledMeMad]] 18:37, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**Lovely Weather sounds like a name I'd use for a character... which disturbs me quite deeply. Also, any idea if Lovely Weather is based on a real person (again) or if Chris is making up a codename for a future sweetheart? [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 05:26, 10 December 2009 (CET)
*** Page 2. He claims to have took advantage of the fact that he looks like his future self, and then fucked His future self's wife while his future self was at work. Yeah. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:52, 10 December 2009 (CET)
**** This is the disgusting part. How creepy it is to have sex with your own future wife? And what about the whole Episode 19 "God-Jesus Says Ivy&Chris 4EVAH"? How pissed God should be that Ivy is dead and Chris's first thought out of the void was to tell all about the nookie he had with a married wife. Not much Christian values here ...[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:35, 10 December 2009 (CET)
*** Also, this makes it that he's no longer a virgin in the comics, is the biggest single departure from RealChris yet. Even all his other victories were somehow unsuccessful in some way. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 05:26, 10 December 2009 (CET)
*** Chris understands time travel as Futurama presented it; X has always happened and/or will always happen. PresentChris took advantage of his future wife; FutureChris is this same Chris who 6 years ago took advantage of his resembling a married man to bed that man's wife. I guess Chris thinks it's justified because Lovely later married him. Just ''something'' about the whole situation is wrong, but due to the mechanics of time travel, pinning down exactly what is hard. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:25, 11 December 2009 (CET)
::* But, that's the thing: In Futurama, it was the ''past'', not the ''future'' where it occurred. If I remember correctly, Fry had accidentally vaporized the man who he thought was his grandfather and ended up boffing his grandmother. He didn't realize until Farnsworth told him that HE was his own ''grandfather''. Chris essentially screwed up the entire premise by going into the future. He won't have any direct affect to his ''present''.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 02:32, 11 December 2009 (CET)
::* Perhaps because she married the Chris of her present, not the Chris of 6 years previous? I mean, who you are as a person is a function of time; I don't really feel like I'm the same person I was 6 years ago. A lot has changed since then. The fact of the matter is that the Chris she took to be her husband wasn't the real Chris she knew and married. It may as well have been someone in a full-body Chris suit, because one would assume that the Chris of 2009 to be different in mind than the Chris of 2015, though, the ever-ignorant manchild... maybe that's not a good assumption. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 02:37, 11 December 2009 (CET)
:::*I think that's why one could argue it's rape if past Chris presents himself as future Chris, as they could be totally different people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:43, 16 December 2009 (CET)
:::* Try comparing Chris between now and when he started the comic and try seeing how changed he is.[/sarcasm, sort of] --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 02:45, 11 December 2009 (CET)
:::* More likely, Lovely Weather saw through Chris' deception but didn't care because future chris was fatter and completely bald. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 03:24, 1 January 2010 (CET)

==How to incorporate preview?==
Any suggestions on how to discuss the preview, since we'll be approaching the point where the preview is incorporated into the regular storyline? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:43, 16 December 2009 (CET)

i say we merge it with the regular episode description once Chris Manages to reach it.

i'm sure that's what Chris will do anyway, and when the time comes to merge them we'll use the preview section as a Christory lesson on how he put up the preview, and what pages the preview took place in. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 12:06, 17 December 2009 (CET)

== Japanese message ==

: A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.
OK, I know next to nothing about Japanese. I punched "controversial" in WWWJDIC and it says 問題発言 is "problematical statement; controversial statement". Which kind of looks like the marks which Chris's artistic pencil left on the paper, hence scanned and uploaded and now troubling our retinas. Now, the question remains: Which episode of Excel-Saga was this ripped off from? I still haven't watched all of them. (And if it's not from Excel-Saga: sorry, ''I just got this weird feeling that it could be from there.'' I can't really explain it.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 00:40, 22 December 2009 (CET)

The first episode. IIRC it's from Excel saying that manga artists are scum so who cares if they die, or something to that effect. Then, it was funny because it was prominent and after an actually controversial statement. Here? Pure, glorious shit. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:32, 22 December 2009 (CET)

==Cogsdev is a gal-pal now?==

I... don't know what to think about this. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:40, 23 December 2009 (CET)
*wut now? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:22, 1 January 2010 (CET)

==Plagiarism to the EXTREME==

This is interesting... or not, but even still. It seems that Chris is really pushing the tracing deals to the extreme here. [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic10P12.jpg|the picture of Chris-Chan Sonichu] was apparently [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/9184.html|traced from a piece of Sonic fan art], as well [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/images/thumb/1/1f/SchuComic10P22.jpg/512px-SchuComic10P22.jpg| the first two fight "panels"] were ripped from a fight scene from the Archie Sonic comic "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles". Maybe I've missed some others earlier (basically scared to look back), but this is probably the worse I've seen Chris rip off stuff in his comic (in terms of scenes, not ideas). --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:02, 27 December 2009 (CET)

== Popit tool. ==

I know no one probably gives a shit but the "beams" that Jason, Beel and Chris use are the popit tool from little big planet. It was tough to tell what it was until I actually played LBP and recognized that the menu Jason is fiddling with is the tool menu from the stage creation mode.

Cept Jason and Beel use a red popit tool, Chris uses a red one yet it is only blue in the games. Just pointing Stupid shit out guys. Happy new year.--[[User:Rob|Rob]] 09:50, 1 January 2010 (CET)rob

==Page 29==
Chris looks so bored. Also, how little effort could this possibly take? Seeing this page just fills me with hate and anger.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 16:45, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

==Pages 30-34==
God DAMN. I just ''love'' how Chris writes his characters ''not'' as actual characters, but as ''mouthpieces'' for his own self! I mean, look at Jason! In Issue 8, Jason says that he doesn't want to take down Chris's ED page and is willing to launch a pickle at Rosechu, yet here, he condemns Jack and Clyde for being homo trolls and decides to retire away. Then, BEEL, of all people, condemns THEM for being homo trolls! Then, Chris makes the two commit suicide, just like he wants them to!

Augh! So much rage!

On a side note, I love how Chris inserts that side note that he wants the MMPR team again and "disses" the other teams. Wow, way to live in the past, Chris! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:27, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

:*Chris always amaze me. I keep on thinking about how deeply retarded the whole comic is and, oh so suddenly, he finds a way to dig himself in a hole a lot deeper. I wonder how Clyde and Jack will react to this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:31, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:**I want them to make him ''really'' suffer for that. Otherwise, once he's done making Issue 10, I'm gonna go make my own comic in retaliation. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 04:47, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:***Sweet merciful Jesus, ''why?'' The last ten pages or so are probably the most disgusting things I've ever read (and this from someone who's read and lol'd at almost all of this wiki). They make ''even less sense'' than the typical Chris tract. I'm almost impressed at how in these ten pages he's managed to pack in so much fail. That's it, I'm making a comic where Naitsirhc is the hero and saves everybody. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 05:24, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:**** Hey, dipwad, I called it! Nah, I'm kidding, but mostly about the dipwad part. I got a good chunk of plot for my comic thought down, but I'd like to ask about your's first. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 05:37, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:*****I'll put the general overview in my sandbox. And @ Griffintown's post below: Reading these pages is pretty much like watching Chris jerk himself off. He's only doing it to satisfy some vague desire to be the big boy on the playground. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 05:50, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:****I just read them. The crazy thing is, I'll bet he actually considers this a victory. He's sitting in his room right now going "I showed those trolls a thing or two!" Ok, no, actually he's probably still frothing mad over mailbag 32, but the point remains.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:32, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:*****That's it. CWCville is this magical place in his head where he can win all his battles. Chris acts as if his comics (and mostly everything he produces, videos and texts included) were Magical Talismans able to affect the real life. The best think that can happen right now is to see some serious "Clyde & Jack" action who will force Chris to "Undead" them in the next comic so he can beat them again. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:42, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*Why does this remind me of the GI Joe episode where Cobra made a machine to destroy buildings with the power of rock?--[[User:Yawn|Yawn]] 5:50, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Page 36==
Rosechu is menstruating despite being medically sterile and being a Pokemon. Also, tampons and kinky sex in a TV-Y7 work. I don't know, I have trouble even thinking of the page without being filled with rage at the directions Chris takes his comic in. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 04:55, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

==Page 37==
Christian... Freaking... Love... Day... I thought he was reaching the bottom in retardation but this is so... wrong. THIS begs to be turned into a "Gay Day" celebration. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:10, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
*It does! And what's so funny is that, Chris actually thinks that, if there WAS a cure for homosexuality, everyone in the world would be willing to go through this. Yes, I know this is Chris's world and we're just looking in, but still, this had to be said. First of all, vaccines are voluntary, not mandatory. If someone came up and said "Hey, we got the cure for homosexuality! Come and get it!", how many would take it? Not very many! Second of all, there's no real plausible way the cure could be passed through the water. That's only really in movies or comics! Water treatment plants have too many chemicals that would dilute or eradicate it. Besides, even if they did drink it, it has to be through the blood, not the stomach.

:I know, again, it's Chris's world, but I just had to get it out of my system. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:23, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

== oh boy! ==

After Jacks appearance in the comic, we should expect an epic phone call soon! -[[User:Briscoe|Briscoe]] 3:45 PM, January 8th 2010

==Page 40==

"Oh, Don't Worry, I am consentual." is now my favorite line in the whole frickin' comic. Because it's just... so wrong on so many levels. --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 16:16, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Add to this the "Lovely Weather will be my wife" angle and then you realize how twisted Chris can be. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:19, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Add this to the fact that, canonically in Family Guy, Meg gets a sex change in the future. --[[User:Morganna|Morganna]] 16:33, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*I was weirded out by the Lovely Weather kinky time-travel sechs thing, but not as much as other people (Chris never did tell all the details, so for all we know, he could've told her, or FutureChris might have even been involved in a kinky time-threesome. The whole thing was unsavory to me, but I reserved judgment and wrote it off as Chris being Chris) ...but this, THIS is what shocked and made me sick, because previously, Comic-Chris never actually 'cheated' because his sweethearts either disappeared or died or whatevs; and I'm one of those people who think cheating (and ''unrepentant'' cheating at that!) is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship.

: [http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v322/puppet_chaos/whut.jpg The Medicine Seller probably would react the same way I did] Too bad I don't have a Sword of Exorcism. (...if you know what I'm talking about, you get a cookie made out of internet and win) --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 16:42, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Someone should save those last few pages with Meg and all the pages where Lovely Weather is mentioned just in case Chris retcons either one of them. Unfortunately, atm, CWCipedia is fucking down again. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 19:08, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:**Godfuckingdamnit, 100mb, undown CWCipedia already! --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 23:00, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:**Done! I am happy(er)! --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 02:59, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

==Page 42==
Pfft. I like that "apology". "I know I drew some very stupid and offensive pages, but I wanted to get through your DAMN DIRTY SKULLS that I'm STRAIGHT! Please, don't leave me!"

He starts to apologize, derails, then grovels. Epic Chris. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:51, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

== So meg was Silvana. ==

I'm sure Chris has some retarded plot planned around this, but the only thing that's really important is the fact that he just knowingly drew himself making out with a hedgehog that has a dick.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:18, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
* What surprised me is that he essentially subverted his whole Meg Griffin fantasy and more or less acknowledged that it was pretty messed up. It's a strange level of self-awareness. --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 06:46, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
**Of course it makes you wonder, why did Magi-chan just watch?--[[Yawn|Yawn]] 6:58, 12 January 2010
:* Maybe Magi-Chan just doesn't give a shit? He seems pretty lazy, judging by how much time he just spends doing nothing. --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 07:19, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

== Collosal Chris-Chan ==

Oh God, he actually used it. He actually used that horrible thing.

Two other things:
1. Page 43-44's transformation sequence is a direct ripoff of the Super Sonic/Shadow transformation before the final boss in Sonic Adventure 2.
2. Himself in panel 3 of Page 43, (the one where he's looking up), is sadly the best drawing he's done, anatomy-wise. (note the head isn't _too_ mishapen) --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 06:46, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

== Just noticed this ==

Magi-chan, on page 37, said that homosexuality and asexuality are extinct... but nothing about bisexuality. --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 17:27, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
:*My main theory on this is that Chris is ignorant of bisexuality. At the moment someone will ask the question, he will say something like "Yes, them too.". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:59, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

==Recent Pages==

Wow... the fail is overwhelming here. Zelina's just another vapid Rosechu, Chris actually thinks that people use their X-Box as fully functioning computers, he rips off a stage from the ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' game, he fails in website protection, he turns the Asperchu-type Sonichu characters into vapid, worshiping idiots who wanted real names, then strips them of what they had because he can.

Jeezus, Chris.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:36, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

Note also that Chris sprouts a third eye after he jams his finger in the controller port. --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 04:32, 20 January 2010 (UTC)

Note also also that "Mitch Sonichu" looks like the [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Uja7HbHJnMk/Sb8aG3Nr7gI/AAAAAAAAAHg/MUf8op1X4Xk/s320/brawny.jpg Brawny paper towel guy], an ambiguously gay lumberjack. Chris, for someone who swears up and down that HE IS STRAIGHT STRAIGHT STRAIGHT, has no problem whiling away his leisure time giving free, unsolicited homomasculine makeovers to random dudes. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 04:53, 20 January 2010 (UTC)

== Christian is a God ==

According to page 57 that is. The Asperchu Sonichu comments on how Alec made him "worship a false God" (Liquid Chris), but apparently they worshiped Christian from before.

And now we have recolors of recolors.

Someone should also point out to Chris that Microsoft is also the creator of Windows, which is what he uses. -[[User:Scarf|Scarf]] 20:23, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

User:SnorlaXBOX

2010-01-19T06:15:45Z

SnorlaXBOX:

{{quote|SnorlaXBOX si a pretty cool guy. eh makes art and doesn't afraid of anything.|[[User:Champthom|Champthom]]}}

{{Americunt}}
{{Artfag}}

Providing CWCki with delicious fanart since 26 December.

<gallery>
Image:Picklereldnahc.jpg|Chris loves Naitsirhc's pickle.
Image:Comicbook-Sign.png|Attraction sign (artist's impression).
Image:Chris-CatBurp.PNG|Y'know, burping after sex is totally not as cool as having a [[Tobacky|smoke]]... ohwait.
Image:Chris-IAmRandomHousecoat.PNG|That poor computer.
Image:Chris-ThisIsMyDildo.PNG|Enjoy your nightmares.
Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|IT'S A TRAP
Image:ComeToMeSpell.jpg|Thank [[GodJesus]] the internet doesn't have scratch-n'-sniff.
Image:HotelRickyRicardo.jpg|They hav draemcast
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Picture of the Now for 16 January 2010.
</gallery>

If you want something drawn for the CWCki, or if you want something written, hit me up on my [[User_talk:SnorlaXBOX|talk page]].

[[Fan:A_Different_Point_of_View|A Different Point of View]], my "fan" comic. Updates whenever I get the time.

[[Category:List_of_CWCkipedians_who_are_Americunts]]
[[Category:List_of_Artist_Commune_artfags]]

File:DPVPage9.png

2010-01-19T06:10:11Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 9. Jerkhief/Naitsirhc = OTP! Category:Jerkhief Category:Naitsirhc

"A Different Point of View" page 9. Jerkhief/Naitsirhc = OTP!
[[Category:Jerkhief]]
[[Category:Naitsirhc]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-01-18T00:56:51Z

SnorlaXBOX: /* "They set me on fire!" — Slander */

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of The Simpsons.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[Obesity|McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be [[Sonichu (comic)|forced to actually put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has been employed for two months of his entire life]], lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Despite this, he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school (in a scandalously revealing outfit). At age 27 Chris has dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], regular sleep patterns, and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his [[Resume|resume]], Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokémon with little kids all the time. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the hobby store where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her the richest woman in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising Sonichu (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him a dime). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris was employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] in check, [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Niggos|tolerance]] [[JERKS|and]] [[Homos|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Monthly tugboat|money]] or [[Gal pals|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) autistic. However, Chris [[Myspace|distances himself]] from others with autism, calling them "slow-in-the-minds" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the seriously physically [[Chris|deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "blacks" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|He thinks it's normal for adults to shit their pants from time to time]], and he found nothing strange about [[Recycling#Recycling|jerking off into a cup and chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a YouTube video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll with a picture of his sweetheart taped to the face]] because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra that he wears happily]]. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]]. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's not ashamed of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them any amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag_7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that no gay person has done anything negative to him in his entire life
. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they [[recycling|do]] behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that gays are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china|vagina]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage."

In the world of Sonichu, the villanous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay but she's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her trap shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with [[Recycling|drinking his own semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He has owned several [[sex toys]] designed to go up his ass, and he's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.''' That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works - legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a great number of sources. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>.

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "parodic", but doesn't like creations that he has labelled "parodies" either.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over (nonexistent) unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[EBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where [[Homos|homosexuality]] is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from [[Family Guy]], and Robbie Sonee describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras,]] to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman actually willing to participate]].

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (a idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated ([[Fail|without success]]) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[China|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins for no apparent reason. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Strangely, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-01-18T00:50:17Z

SnorlaXBOX: /* "I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance */

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of The Simpsons.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[Obesity|McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be [[Sonichu (comic)|forced to actually put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has been employed for two months of his entire life]], lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Despite this, he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school (in a scandalously revealing outfit). At age 27 Chris has dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], regular sleep patterns, and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his [[Resume|resume]], Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokémon with little kids all the time. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the hobby store where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her the richest woman in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising Sonichu (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him a dime). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris was employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] in check, [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Niggos|tolerance]] [[JERKS|and]] [[Homos|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Monthly tugboat|money]] or [[Gal pals|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) autistic. However, Chris [[Myspace|distances himself]] from others with autism, calling them "slow-in-the-minds" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the seriously physically [[Chris|deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "blacks" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|He thinks it's normal for adults to shit their pants from time to time]], and he found nothing strange about [[Recycling#Recycling|jerking off into a cup and chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a YouTube video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll with a picture of his sweetheart taped to the face]] because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra that he wears happily]]. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]]. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's not ashamed of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them any amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag_7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that no gay person has done anything negative to him in his entire life
. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they [[recycling|do]] behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that gays are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china|vagina]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage."

In the world of Sonichu, the villanous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay but she's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her trap shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with [[Recycling|drinking his own semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He has owned several [[sex toys]] designed to go up his ass, and he's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.''' That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works - legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a great number of sources. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>.

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "parodic", but doesn't like creations that he has labelled "parodies" either.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over (nonexistent) unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[EBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where [[Homos|homosexuality]] is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from [[Family Guy]], and Robbie Sonee describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras,]] to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman actually willing to participate]].

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

It is evident for the readers of Sonichu that Chris use the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Everytime he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (a idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolate incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris tries to overcompensate for his weaknesses in the real life. This however put asides many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonist of Chris who were berated ([[Fail|without success]]) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72 stories elevator pit. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in the pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[China|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]] issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and try to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic where he shot him in the shins for no apparent reason. When the girlfriend, scared for their safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Strangely, Chris really disapprove this method of expression when he's on the receiving end on it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples into having him at the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 receiving end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File talk:CrystalSquirtle.png

2010-01-18T00:31:58Z

SnorlaXBOX:

==absolutely AMAZING==
This is like some Dave Gibbons art, A+++ fantastic! [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 17:32, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
:Is it strange that I find Crystal hot in this picture? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:50, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
::No. It's because she's drawn with someone with TRUE and HONEST skills. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:02, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
:I get more of an old-school EC Comics vibe, but either way, pretty fucking rad. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:16, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
:Thank you all. I guess it is worth the effort of actually coloring something in once in a while, haha. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 00:31, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

User talk:3301

2010-01-17T06:09:01Z

SnorlaXBOX: Created page with 'Hi and welcome, 3301. It's always good to see more people from Virginia here. --~~~~'

Hi and welcome, 3301. It's always good to see more people from Virginia here. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 06:09, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

File:CrystalSquirtle.png

2010-01-17T05:07:00Z

SnorlaXBOX:

Dark Mirror Hole, The Moon, same damn thing--does it even make a difference considering Sonichu's continuity record?
[[Category:Crystal]]
[[Category:Yawning Squirtle]]
[[Category:Fan art]]

Yawning Squirtle

2010-01-17T05:05:56Z

SnorlaXBOX:

<center>[[Image:Yawning_Squirtle.jpg|FEELS GOOD MAN]]</center>

{{quote|*YAWN*|Yawning Squirtle's eternal message to the world}}

'''Yawning Squirtle''' (also known as '''The Squirtle who Yawned''', according to Chris) is arguably [[Chris]]'s only creation that isn't complete shit. First depicted in [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]], stoned out of his mind.

In a [[CWC Blog]] post from [[CWC_Blog#12_January_2010|12 January 2010]], Chris attempts to curb Yawning Squirtle fandom by stating that Yawning Squirtle was caught by a Pokemon trainer.

==Political career==
Rumors have been circulating that Yawning Squirtle will be running against [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as mayor of [[CWCville]], on a platform of marijuana legalization. CWCki reporters tried to contact Squirtle with some questions, but apparently there are no telephones underwater. Plus, Squirtle was probably high as fuck.

==Chris on Yawning Squirtle==
On at least three instances, Chris has tried to underplay Yawning Squirtle's importance in the comics. Chris has later stated that he assumes that YS is fighting for a trainer now.

{{quote|The WAILORD who dropped the rock onto the mother Swampert and the Squirtle who Yawned are ONLY Individual characters who I originally had NO plans on putting into future stories, so ASSUME that the two were BOTH caught by Pok'emon Trainers in Pok'e Balls and now the two are fighting with their trainers in Pok'emon Battles.|Chris on Yawning Squirtle, [[CWC_Blog#12_January_2010|CWC's blog, 12 January 2010]]}}

Fans strongly disagree with this intrepretation, opting for Sean August Watley's [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]] depiction of Yawning Squirtle spending his days on [[The Moon]] getting high with [[Boulder Dropping Whale]] and [[Bill the Scientist]].

==Images and shoops==
<center><gallery>
Image:Yawning_Squirtle.jpg|Original
Image:Yawninsquertaljpg-1.jpg|Inevitable rule 34.
Image:Schucomic9page59ic1copyhg7.jpg|Lolwut.
Image:Yawning_squirtle_card.jpg|Original character, do not steal.
Image:Yawning Squirtle KKK.png|Squirtle!!!
Image:1230345505120if5.jpg|Fffrustrated Yawning Squirtle.
Image:1230345505120.JPG|More Fffrustrated Yawning Squirtle.
Image:Call.jpg|Oh dear...
Image:Shoop.jpg|He's a firing his lazer...
Image:F advicesquirm 5ff7bca.jpg|Advice Yawning Squirtle.
Image:F advicesquirm 5c0df54.jpg|Moar Advice Yawning Squirtle.
Image:F advicesquirm fd4a802.jpg|Even moar Advice Yawning Squirtle.
Image:B08c8baa1b.jpg|Who's [[Silvana]] been hanging with...
Image:332mij9.jpg|He came.
Image:300yawnsjpg.jpg|Yawning Squirtle in Sparta.
Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|Yawning Squirtle 2.0
Image:Modern Squirtle.JPG|Perspectives on Modern Sleep 75
Image:DSC01318.jpg|Faggot cosplaying Yawning Squirtle.
Image:Yawning Squirtle by Zom-39A.jpg|Artist's depiction.
Image:Cheers04.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] buys all her weed from Yawning Squirtle.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Boulder Dropping Whale]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

File:CrystalSquirtle.png

2010-01-17T04:59:58Z

SnorlaXBOX:

Dark Mirror Hole, The Moon, same damn thing--does it even make a difference considering Sonichu's continuity record?
[[Category:Crystal]]
[[Category:Yawning Squirtle]]

File:CrystalSquirtle.png

2010-01-17T04:58:18Z

SnorlaXBOX: Dark Mirror Hole, The Moon, same damn thing--does it even make a difference considering Sonichu's continuity record?

Dark Mirror Hole, The Moon, same damn thing--does it even make a difference considering Sonichu's continuity record?

File:DPVPage8.png

2010-01-16T21:41:49Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 8. Category:Mary Lee Walsh Category:Naitsirhc

"A Different Point of View" page 8.
[[Category:Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category:Naitsirhc]]

Saga

2010-01-16T01:14:31Z

SnorlaXBOX: Verb tense fix

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
A '''saga''' (from the old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arch of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe any on-going trolling effort that produces considerable drama. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been embroiled in a saga. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with [[Miyamoto saga]] and the term has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term ''dynasty'').

Some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook]] saga project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg|center]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a [[Pokémon]] TCG League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg|center]]

: ''See Also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June of 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry, made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC_is_Angry|madman]] style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry emails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time, before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg|center]]

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the Chris-chan page on Encyclopedia Dramatica webpage. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White_knight|white-knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan_Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder before taking his own life. The saga would result in a [[The_miscreants|top secret organization]] hell-bent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. The saga only ended with the eventual death of its creator. Despite this, Chris believes he's still out there, trolling him...

In [[September 2009]], Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash, somehow thinking that he and [[Gregg Mays]] were one and the same. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to ''mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]]!''

===PandaHalo Saga===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his Sonichu game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do... well... anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a Powerpoint project that talked in great length about himself... and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|Julie}}

In Feburary 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be <s>JUUUUULAAAAAAAAY!</s> Julie, who was in actuality [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief time frame, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion, sticking it in his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical [[semen|spurt]] of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|most]] [[CWC's_Message_for_Ivy|creepiest]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's_¨It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

===Liquid Chris Saga===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg|center]]

{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christan Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, Ian Brandon Anderson, would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Recently, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt.

===CWCipedia Saga===

{{main|CWCipedia}}

CWCipedia is a Wiki that was given to Chris by the gracious [[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]], that Chris can use to upload his Sonichu comics, blog, and personal life to. It doubles as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On [[November_2009|November 19, 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the Wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] emails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provides insight into how Chris responds to trolls through email about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, Autism, etc.

Since November 23, 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] have taken residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Most recently, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris has [[Address_to_my_Cwcipedia_SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu_and_WikiSysop_correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which will pay for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu]. All of this has "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[Death_threats|death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress free, ad-free front page [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Front_Page].

===Asperchu Saga===
{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called Asperchu, starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring Asperchu and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of Asperchu, combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon Sonichu and go to Asperchu.

===The future===
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

[[Category:Trolling]]

Curse-ye-ha-me-ha

2010-01-15T18:01:10Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:Cwcyehameha_crop.gif|center|CURSE YE HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]
{{RageQuote|CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!}}

[[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|thumb|Yep.]]

The '''Curse-ye-ha-me-ha''', also referred to as '''Shin-ye-ha-me-ha''', is the special finishing move of doom used by Christian when battling [[jerkops]], [[manajerks]], [[trolls]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. It is a <s>ripoff</s> [[parody]] of the famed Kamehameha maneuver used in Dragon Ball and [[Dragon Ball Z]], and it is performed exactly the same way: by doing silly choreographed poses and slowly yelling the name of [[Wikipedia:Kamehameha_I|a famous Hawaiian king]]. And yes, Chris has done this in public...

==Execution and effect==

In keeping with the [[Dragon ball Z|Kamehameha]] maneuver he stole it from, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha must be delivered slowly, with each syllable deliberately pronounced as the user summons his chi, finally ending with the last "ha!" and a blast of power followed by peace for the [[troll]] [[jerkop]] or [[manajerk]]. For optimal results, say it like the [[new narrator]] says it.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQfYyY24aCo#t=4m08s Sonichu - Subepisode 3! The Audiobook! Christian Chandler and Sonichu in "Witch Confront!"]</ref>

When desired, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha can act as a standard energy blast to vaporize enemies. However, in other situations, the attack has no immediately apparent effects. Therein lies the "curse"--the attacker has subtly hexed the victim, guaranteeing that he will soon suffer unbearable misfortune.

While negotiating the production of Sonichu video games with Nintendo, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] informed Chris that "curse" is considered offensive in Japanese culture, and so all references to the spell have been changed to "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha". By August 2009 Chris had become more willing to revert to the original name when sufficiently angry.

A less theatrical version of the move, the '''Curse Shot''', is delivered by simply holding out one's hand in the shape of a gun and miming the act of shooting the target. This achieves the same sort of ominous misfortune without requiring several minutes of preparation, which is handy if you're running away from mall security. On a few occasions, he has performed a variation on this theme using his [[Megatron pistol]].

==Purpose==

Aside from creating the impression that Chris has delusions of godhood, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha allows him to feel some sense of control over his world. Chris is too weak, stupid, and cowardly to directly act against those who give him [[stress]], but his curses require no effort from him except his own faith in their power. As long as it is impossible to prove the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha has no effect, Chris can allow himself to believe the universe will ultimately destroy his enemies, giving him a sense of triumph.

==Yes, he actually does this in public==

<blockquote>"So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off."<ref>From the 22 June 2005 entry in [[CWC's Diary]]</ref> </blockquote>

In addition to his performance of the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Wal-Mart, key slanderous trolls have revealed that Chris performed the curse live and in person in the office of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], resulting in his suspension from [[PVCC]]. A documented performance of this attack has been recorded and it is shown in [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|this]] video.

==Yes, he actually thinks this works==
In [[Mailbag 18]], when asked if he thinks his powers actually work, Chris commented:

{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my Sweetheart Search, I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one [[Clyde Cash|specific Troll]] (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a life-threatening ailment.|Chris, 06:28, 15 December 2009 (CET), [[Mailbag 18]]}}

[[Chris and his ego|Chris actually believes he has magic powers to curse people.]] Chris, as usual, [[fail|fails]], this time with confusing correlation and causation - just because Mary Lee Walsh's reputation went down (even if we take Chris's biased view of Ms. Walsh at face value), it does not necessarily follow that it's a result of a curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. This appears to stem from his inflated sense of self-importance: because he sees himself as an innocent man, he seems to believe that [[GodJesus|God]] has granted him magical powers with which to curse those who dare wrong him, a good example of his detachment from [[Chris and reality|reality]].

==Known victims==

In the comics, Chris applies the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to Mary Lee Walsh and one of the Jerkops, and these stories may reflect the two known public instances, or separate incidents, or purely wishful thinking. The curse seems to have had no effect on Walsh, even in fiction--after being seemingly atomized in [[Sub-Episode 3]], she simply returned none the worse for wear.

On 15 January 2009, Chris delivered a Shin-ye-ha-me-ha [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|via YouTube]] to every troll who has contributed to his [[ED]] page and to [[4chan]].

[[CChanSonichuCWC]], the dreaded brown-striped impostor, was on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in a [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|14 August 2009 video]].

However, on 16 August Chris elected to lift the curses he had previously unleashed, and performed the "Forgiveness Blessings" in a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|video]] to demonstrate his grace. During this retraction Chris claimed to have used the Curse Shot on over fifty men during his [[Love Quest]].

Due to the production of [[Audiobook]] DVDs, Chris has cursed [[Vivian Gee]] and anyone involved with the project.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWO-v9V3dE4 Curse Ye Ha Me Ha!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Special Attacks]]

Curse-ye-ha-me-ha

2010-01-15T17:42:46Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:Cwcyehameha_crop.gif|center|CURSE YE HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]
{{RageQuote|CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!}}

[[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|thumb|Yep.]]

The '''Curse-ye-ha-me-ha''', also referred to as '''Shin-ye-ha-me-ha''', is the special finishing move of doom used by Christian when battling [[jerkops]], [[manajerks]], [[trolls]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. It is a <s>ripoff</s> [[parody]] of the famed Kamehameha maneuver used in Dragon Ball and [[Dragon Ball Z]], and it is performed exactly the same way: by doing silly choreographed poses and slowly yelling the name of [[Wikipedia:Kamehameha_I|a famous Hawaiian king]]. And yes, Chris has done this in public...

==Execution and effect==

In keeping with the [[Dragon ball Z|Kamehameha]] maneuver he stole it from, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha must be delivered slowly, with each syllable deliberately pronounced as the user summons his chi, finally ending with the last "ha!" and a blast of power followed by peace for the [[troll]] [[jerkop]] or [[manajerk]]. For optimal results, say it like the [[new narrator]] says it.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQfYyY24aCo#t=4m08s Sonichu - Subepisode 3! The Audiobook! Christian Chandler and Sonichu in "Witch Confront!"]</ref>

When desired, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha can act as a standard energy blast to vaporize enemies. However, in other situations, the attack has no immediately apparent effects. Therein lies the "curse"--the attacker has subtly hexed the victim, guaranteeing that he will soon suffer unbearable misfortune.

While negotiating the production of Sonichu video games with Nintendo, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] informed Chris that "curse" is considered offensive in Japanese culture, and so all references to the spell have been changed to "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha". By August 2009 Chris had become more willing to revert to the original name when sufficiently angry.

A less theatrical version of the move, the '''Curse Shot''', is delivered by simply holding out one's hand in the shape of a gun and miming the act of shooting the target. This achieves the same sort of ominous misfortune without requiring several minutes of preparation, which is handy if you're running away from mall security. On a few occasions, he has performed a variation on this theme using his [[Megatron pistol]].

==Purpose==

Aside from creating the impression that Chris has delusions of godhood, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha allows him to feel some sense of control over his world. Chris is too weak, stupid, and cowardly to directly act against those who give him [[stress]], but his curses require no effort from him except his own faith in their power. As long as it is impossible to prove the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha has no effect, Chris can allow himself to believe the universe will ultimately destroy his enemies, giving him a sense of triumph.

==Yes, he actually does this in public==

<blockquote>"So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off."<ref>From the 22 June 2005 entry in [[CWC's Diary]]</ref> </blockquote>

In addition to his performance of the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Wal-Mart, key slanderous trolls have revealed that Chris performed the curse live and in person in the office of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], resulting in his suspension from [[PVCC]]. A documented performance of this attack has been recorded and it is shown in [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|this]] video.

==Yes, he actually thinks this works==
In [[Mailbag 18]], when asked if he thinks his powers actually work, Chris commented:

{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my Sweetheart Search, I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one [[Clyde Cash|specific Troll]] (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a life-threatening ailment.|Chris, 06:28, 15 December 2009 (CET), [[Mailbag 18]]}}

[[Chris and his ego|Chris actually believes he has magic powers to curse people.]] Chris, as usual, [[fail|fails]], this time with confusing correlation and causation - just because Mary Lee Walsh's reputation went down (even if we take Chris's biased view of Ms. Walsh at face value), it does not necessarily follow that it's a result of a curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. This appears to stem from his inflated sense of self-importance: because he sees himself as an innocent man, he assumedly believes that [[GodJesus|God]] has granted him magical powers with which to curse those who dare wrong him, a good example of his detachment from [[Chris and reality|reality]].

==Known victims==

In the comics, Chris applies the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to Mary Lee Walsh and one of the Jerkops, and these stories may reflect the two known public instances, or separate incidents, or purely wishful thinking. The curse seems to have had no effect on Walsh, even in fiction--after being seemingly atomized in [[Sub-Episode 3]], she simply returned none the worse for wear.

On 15 January 2009, Chris delivered a Shin-ye-ha-me-ha [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|via YouTube]] to every troll who has contributed to his [[ED]] page and to [[4chan]].

[[CChanSonichuCWC]], the dreaded brown-striped impostor, was on the receiving end of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in a [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|14 August 2009 video]].

However, on 16 August Chris elected to lift the curses he had previously unleashed, and performed the "Forgiveness Blessings" in a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|video]] to demonstrate his grace. During this retraction Chris claimed to have used the Curse Shot on over fifty men during his [[Love Quest]].

Due to the production of [[Audiobook]] DVDs, Chris has cursed [[Vivian Gee]] and anyone involved with the project.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWO-v9V3dE4 Curse Ye Ha Me Ha!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Special Attacks]]

Talk:Mumble 2

2010-01-15T04:29:43Z

SnorlaXBOX:

The file type is "ogv" or something, and I couldn't download it for various reasons. Does anyone know if it can be converted into a youtube video or an mp3 for easier access? --[[User_Talk:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]]

:[http://www.videolan.org/vlc/ VLC media player] is your friend when it comes to odd file extensions. Unfortunately, I'm not aware of a youtube version of this file.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:53, 12 December 2009 (CET)

==Summary==
Needs a narrative format, not a list format. See some of the IRC chatlogs for a good idea how to do the summary - essentially, a narrative of what happens in the chat, as opposed to a list of points. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:43, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Jack Thaddeus==
Unlike Chris, it appears that people on CWCki are good at recognizing voices and correctly recognize that "Jack" is in these Mumble chats. But please, if someone could check the other Mumble chats, "Jack" may have been using a different alias back then. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:48, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Spanish==
I've transcripted through the first instance of Chris's awful Spanish. I never took Spanish so I'm sure my transcription is faulty there. Would someone who does know Spanish clean up that part? --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 04:29, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Mumble 2

2010-01-15T04:25:02Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|180px|In Mumble 2, a Wild [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] appeared.]]

'''Mumble 2''' is the second [[Mumble]] chat that took place on 4 [[February 2009]]. More than an hour long.

This is a more organized Q&A type chat than [[Mumble 1]]. Questions from [[Clyde]] about [[sex]] in the [[comic]] and interesting tidbits about how Chris believes sex is the same as romance. This is pretty hard hitting, with stuff like how Chris is into [[McDonald's|fast food]] yet he's against tobacco. A lot of drama involving Clyde.

==Summary==
* Chris no like Clyde =( he stole his sweetheart
* audio cut out for a minute and then you hear Chris say: "....HYMEN!" (You broke her hymen)
* Trolls claim [[Panda]] is with Clyde, Chris wants to hear her voice, they say she's busy
* 'She and I WERE very close'
* Chris didn't have 400 to 800 dollars to go see Panda; claims he got this number from an airport website recommended by [[Miyamoto]]
* Insists on [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] being in [[Animal Crossing]]
* Doesn't want to talk about his deal with them
* Insists that he doesn't have to turn down his radio since his voice is louder (''it is horribly loud in the mic'')
* Panda gave Clyde all of the sites, etc.
* [[Sarah]] is going to be with Clyde, which Chris wants to deny
* These motherfuckers keep talking over each other
* Calls a troll's critique crap
* Bubbles must be aroused, she isn't wet all the time
* Bubbles is 90% water so does sperm just swim around forever? NO
* Clyde: This is a children's comic, why so much sex?
* '''Chris:''' It is romance. My best artwork is when they're making out 'romantic moments', drawn in protest to trolls. Shows that [[Rosechu]]s have vaginas, not [[duck]]s.
* Admits to maybe going overboard
* Trolls try to reason with him about the [[ED]] article: There wouldn't be an article if he didn't react like he does.
* Trolls say that TV-Y7 means NO SEX but Chris points to romantic animes that have making out (cartoons are for kids even if there's sex is his reasoning)
* Trolls talk about Japan being less strict about those things
* Everyone gets to vote in [[CWCville]]. You can hear him say, 'even if they're [[Niggos|black]]'.
* Got his idea from [[Mary Poppins]], HIS FAVORITE MOVIE
* Troll tries to give historical background about cough medicine putting kids to sleep to which Chris insists it was the lullaby that put them to sleep.
* Trolls go into deep conversation about children, cough medicine, etc.
* Chris planned for no references to cough medicine.
* Discussion about Chris, 'gay message' sent by a troll
* He calls Clyde a scoundrel
* BELIEVE HIM HE IS STRAIGHT
* Chris speaks Mexican at 20:50 LAWL
* Mexican speaks Mexican to him... he replies in Menglish
* [[4-cent_garbage]] is located in Mexico
* Someone says that he needs to improve his Mexican
* Chris is against smoking, CWCville is smoke-free, alcholic free
* Rehash of why [[tobacky]] is bad, his position on it, alchohol....bar fights
* Chris' dad smoked had several bypasses, has a pacemaker, had heart attacks
* Mention of his hair cuttings for his fans
* Motherfuckers talk over each other, question about fast food not answered
* Chris was doing math in his head, got in car crash.
* Chris has taken college level math. Took trigonometry.
* He designed a [[CWCville Shopping Center|shopping center]]
* Trolls gang up on Clyde for stealing Panda
* Time will tell when Chris will make the money he would have in the nintendo deal
* Trolls bash Clyde for his pot smoking
* Chris doesn't watch news because it's bad news =(
* Bashing of the Mexican
* Chris can type 30 to 100 WPM
* Chris can't type and talk at the same time
* Chris says [[PSN]] is free though Clyde(?) points to the 1000 dollars Chris spent on PSN
* Chris has been typing for 15 minutes now and it is VERY loud
* Chris has been busy IRL therefore the comic release doesn't have a date
* Someone points to nudes on [[YouTube]].
* He does not have it on the YouTube, but he isn't going to take it anymore.
* Claims some of the photos are photoshopped.
* Clyde offers help to take ED page down.
* Chris denies taking those pictures, doesn't want to talk about it, making him uncomfortable.
* Some of the pictures are real. When questioned which ones are fake, Chris can't answer.
* Chris hates Harry Potter because HP was in competition with [[Pokemon]]!
* Chris is too stressed to read Vivian's [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|book]], he likes the cover though!
* Chris has heard of Twilight, will wait until DVD comes out to see it
* Polly, who has been talking the whole time is confronted by Chris who thinks she is a guy. Polly is upset. Chris apologizes.
* Chris like [[Monty Python]], same Monty Python from first conversation
* [[Jimmy Hill]] has launched his Sonichu show
* More Mexican talk at 55:10
* Chris giggles and sighs happily when Cassie, another Mexican, compliments him and when she leaves he says 'Chikita Bonita'
* Rabbichoso talk (Sonichu.info)
* Classic trolls are leaving Chris alone.
* Chris likes Steel Angel Kurumi (''quote from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Angel_Kurumi Wikipedia]: the show is often classified as ecchi due to the focus on fanservice and panty shots'')
* Chris claims to be very strong, could beat Clyde up
* Would definitely give Clyde lots of pain
* NO ONE CAN STOP CLYDE
* ShinyMarshtomp makes an appearance? Likes Rabbichoso
* Chris likes to eat at [[Country Cookin]] (''like Golden Corral'')
* Chris likes to imagine his first time.
* Clyde says the first time is awful, Chris said it was because Clyde prematurely ejaculated
* Watch porn with naked women to cure your gay
* Guys sitting next to you = gay coming on to you
* None of Chris's friends come to his [[house]]
* Falsion has been in the chat room, is afraid he is gay

=== A Wild Snorlax Appears ===

* [[Barbara]] asks if Chris wants hot dogs (''insert penis joke here'')
* Chris will only be acquaintances with Falsion

:[''1:12:30'']
:'''Chris:''' I'm just answering a few questions mother.
:'''Barbara:''': You don't have to answer. They ain't payin' you to do it.
:'''Troll:''' Yeah, they are.
:[''shuffling sounds, clangings'']
:'''Barbara:''': It ain't none of their business no way. I wouldn't be asked questions like that by employers or anybody.
:'''Troll:''' Chris what is happening?
:'''Chris:''' Obviously, my mother is offering her input.
:'''Barbara:''': I don't need no back talk from somebody comin' out the other end of the phone line.
:'''Chris:''' I hear you, mom.
:[''scraping sounds'']
:'''Barbara:''': These idiots don't have any brains or any idea this way or that.
:[''more banging, clangs, tumbling sounds'']
:'''Troll:''' Is it your bed time right now...?
:'''Chris:''' Pixelblocks, Pixelblocks!
:'''Troll:''' Someone's saying "Pixelblocks." Is it you? Chris, are you saying [[Pixelblocks]]?
:'''Chris:''':Haha...
:[''Chris's mom has been singing'']
:'''Troll:''' Your mother has a beautiful singing voice, Chris.
:'''Barbara:''': [''inaudible''] all the anxiety, causing you stress.
:'''Chris:''' Well sometimes they don't, they can be peaceful.
:'''Barbara:''': Well Mom and Dad get their [''inaudible'']
:'''Chris:''': Mmm, a lot of us do.
:'''Barbara:''': Just look at this nasty mess here that you guys left that I got to clean up.
:'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Yeah I took care of my bills, I mean, not completely but I took care of them.
:[''Clanging noises return after short absence'']
:[''Trolls talk about General Hospital, then ask for forgiveness for Clyde'']
:[''Demonic voice briefly heard'']
:[''Sound of a vacuum cleaner'']
:[''Sound of Chris' mom singing'']
:'''Troll:''' Your mom has a beautiful voice, Chris.
:[''Meme spouting back and forth'']
:Do you watch Code Geass or Naruto?
:.........
:I'm going to watch Shuffle! sometime
:[''Naruto talk... or some anime'']
:[''More clanging, vacuuming'']
:'''Chris:''' ...got my headphones on. And you know what else? They like your singing.
:'''Barbara:''': ...I don't sing.
:'''Chris:''':You just did!
:'''Barbara:''': That's my laugh, my laugh!
:'''Chris:''' They just did, they heard you singing just now
:'''Barbara:''': I can't sing!
:'''Chris:''':You just did!
:'''Barbara:''': [''inaudible'']
:'''Chris:''' They just heard you singing in the microphone.
:'''Barbara:''': Did you write cheques for those bills?
:'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yes mother I did.
:'''Barbara:''': You're not telling me a story?
:'''Chris:''' No, I'm not telling you a story.
:'''Barbara:''': It's important [''inaudible''] did you pay them?
:'''Chris:''' Yes I paid them
:'''Barbara:''': Okay you need to be honest with me.
:'''Chris:''' No you're saying... I'm being honest, I'm being honest.
:'''Barbara:''': How you respond to what...what [we] talk about. You say you want to do something and you don't do it then life is gonna change [our ideas soon?]
:'''Chris:''' Ok... I'll be sure to pay the remaining difference next month.
:'''Barbara:''': No, this month.
:'''Chris:''' I couldn't pay them all with 90 dollars so there's still some there that [''sound cuts'']
:...oh you're cooking them up here that's why you turned the fan on over the stove.
:[''trolls rejoice and mock Momma Chandler'']

==Transcript==
===Waiting for Chris===
 '''Polly:''' I can't wait to hear Chris! I'm a huge fan!
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, goddamn these noodles are fantastic. Man, I wish I could eat like this everyday.
 '''Troll:''' Have you eaten the rice balls?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no. These are noodles. These are... ''[Trolls interrupt]'' 
 '''Troll:''' Fan-fucking-tastic.
 '''Clyde:''' Fantastic, you know?
 '''Troll:''' Sweetangie is Chris. Or, we think so.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is him.
 '''Clyde:''' It's definitely not the real Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm disappointed there's so many impostors out there. Kinda my fault, but, you know, if it weren't ''[unintelligible]'' Hard to come by.
 '''Troll:''' His mic was working last time he was here, just fine.
 '''Troll:''' He usually capitalizes his words, like in every sentence.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think he's - I don't think this is him.
 '''Troll:''' Is it set to push to talk or something?
''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Clyde:''' It's called push to talk. Push to talk.
 '''Troll:''' No, just have him set it to voice activity. It works so much better that way.
''[BlueSpike says something unclear]''
 '''Troll:''' You guys are fucking idiots.
''[Trolls talk over each other again]''
 '''Troll:''' You guys scared him off by being guys.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, you fucking jackasses. Nice going.
 '''Troll:''' Was that even the real...?
 '''Troll:''' Yes, that was the real Chris.
 '''Troll:''' He's too much of a pussy to talk.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, cause you scared him, or some - No, or he's too stupid to be.
''[Laughter]''

===Chris Arrives===
 '''Chris:''' ''[Chris arrives, with radio playing loudly.]'' Hello.
''[Trolls all greet him.]''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, now-
 '''Troll:''' Why don't you have your microphone working?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know why my microphone is messed up.
 '''Troll:''' I'm sorry, but we had an impostor here before.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm registered. I've got myself registered now. So, uh, hopefully-
 '''Troll:''' That's probably why. It probably had to calibrate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I calibrated now.
 '''Clyde:''' So, Chris, have you seen Rabbichozo's, uh, oh it's fantastic.
 '''Chris:''' I don't give a crap about your stupid pencil sketch.
''[Pause]''

===PandaHalo, Trip to Redmond and Animal Crossing===
 '''Chris:''' -her hymen!
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I know it's a terrible mistake, but I plan to make it up to her. I'm doing the things I should do.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, and another thing, if she is really over there with you now, then put her on the mic. Please.
 '''Troll:''' She's not- He never said-
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, she's very busy, ok. She's very busy.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Clyde:''' She's not over here right now. Okay? So lets drop it.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, fine. Well could you tell her to please send me a message lettin' me know, for sure, so I can know- so I can know.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Talks over Chris]'' I'll let her know whatever you want, but it's her life. She doesn't have to send you a message. You failed her. You failed her.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sighs]'' She and I were very close.
 '''Clyde:''' You say you're so close, then why didn't you go?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sighs]'' Because I had- Aw, hang on a second. How do I- oh, that's right. This thing. Right. ''[Sighs]'' Hold on a sec. Oh yeah, because I did not have four to eight hundred dollars!
 '''Clyde:''' It doesn't cost that much to go cross-country.
 '''Chris:''' Yes it does. I know, I saw it on an airport website. Where I was be- Where I was- recommended to me by Mr. Miyamoto.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you can drive there. It's not that hard.
 '''Troll:''' What happened with that? I thought, um, didn't you have a deal with them or something? I heard a rumor that your characters were going to be in Animal Crossing.
 '''Chris:''' Well, they are in Animal Crossing. And I did- and I do- I did have a deal with them.
 '''Troll:''' What happened though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' I'd rather not say.
 '''Troll:''' Oh.

===Chris's Radio, Clyde and Criticism===
 '''Troll:''' Chris, why don't you turn down the TV? It's hard to hear you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]'' I do not have a TV turned on in here.
 '''Troll:''' I can hear it.
 '''Chris:''' I have a radio.
 '''Troll:''' I hear something in the background.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burping throughout sentence]'' Well that's the- that would b- the radio. And it is not that loud.
 '''Troll:''' But it shows up pretty well on your microphone. With due respect.
 '''Chris:''' But still, my voice is louder than the radio.
 '''Polly:''' Uh, Chris? Uh, when are you going to do the new Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something over Polly]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' Uh, I'll answer Polly's question. I'm not sure. It's, uh, it's in progress right now, I'm drawing it up.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I can't wait to read it!
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Well, we'll see.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Troll:''' Listen, Clyde kind of has admin on here, so we can't really do anything about him. So, yeah. I don't know.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Hard to hear over Chris's radio]'' ...with you guys. I love you guys. Just as much as Chris loves you guys. Right?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I was angry. I was angry. But I'm calm now.
 '''Troll:''' Don't try to hurt any other person from now on.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have much- I do not have much to say in response to that right now. Because I'm ticked off.
 '''Troll:''' Don't let him get to you.
 '''Troll:''' You're no better than he is, if you give in.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something unintelligible]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris, I just wanted to let you know I'm a huge fan of the comics, and I'm glad you keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job, and just keep it up, alright man?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, I appreciate the, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? The, the, uh- well, the encouraging words. Encouragement. I appreciate the encouragement. Well, there are things, uh- I- er- current events I do not appreciate. I appreciate the positive encouragement.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I can't really do anything. He took over the IRC channel. I used to be the owner. I mean Clyde. He's like taking over everything.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, it was because Panda gave it to me, you know. But anyway, I mean, you can't just listen to encouragement, you've got to listen to criticism, man. Criticisms are what make you better, you learn from your mistakes. You learn from mistakes.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Be right back guys, my wife is calling.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't- I don't- Tons of people don't like the Rabbichozo art style, but you know, I gotta improve on that. That's something I plan to improve on. There's a lot of criticism in the death of Sonichu, right? 
 '''Chris:''' ''[Loudly]'' What? What did you just say?
 '''Clyde:''' There's a lot of criticism of Sonichu. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. For a moment there I thought you said something different.
 '''Clyde:''' What, what did you think I said? I'm just saying, there are people who like it and people who don't like it. You gotta start taking in those suggestions. You know?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. So many things that will be improved upon. But, I just have to hear from Sarah herself that she really is going to be with you, Clyde. I have to hear it from herself. It's one thing to hear it from you and then it's- then on that note, it's just I find it very hard to believe. So I have to hear it from her.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I kinda think that Rabbichozo sucks. I mean, I think it could be funny, but it honestly looks like it's drawn by a kindergartener.
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Troll:''' I mean, Sonichu has evolved over the years. You can see that the art's getting better. Rabbichozo doesn't even look like something a beginner would do, honestly. I mean, ''[Interrupted]''
 '''Chris:''' A whole bunch of crap!
''[Everyone starts talking at once]''
 '''Polly:''' Also, Sonichu is in color.
 '''Clyde:''' I know, I accept this criticism. But you just called it crap! Now that's just rude.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have emotions going behind me- uh, behind that opinion.

===Cassie===
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, did you get my message.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Clyde:''' Aren't you going to be the gentleman, then? Aren't you gonna be the gentleman?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I just want to ask you, Chris. I'm Cassie's friend. She- she's worried sick about you. Why haven't you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' I did email her! As a- I- I haven't gotten any re-plies from her. I have emailed her and I have instant messaged her on A.I.M. and Skype. I haven't heard back from her. I don't know what's going on there.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' ...you emailed her.
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' When was the last time you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, hang on, I'll check.
 '''Polly:''' Um, Chris? I have a question. My fa- One of my favorite new characters is, um, Simonla, and like, I also like Zapina as well. Um, are they gonna have bigger parts in the series later on?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?
 '''Polly:''' Um, I was wondering if Simonla and Zapina will either have bigger parts in the series later on. 
 '''Chris:''' Possibly. Possibly, but, uh, I can't say for sure. Oh, and, uh, to answer your question, uh- in answer to, uh, I believe, uh, Screwhead, who asked? It was about four days ago. About four days ago.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Yeah. Four days ago? Okay, I'll tell her to check it out.
 '''Chris:''' The last email I sent was about four days ago.
 '''Troll:''' She'll contact you in a while, though.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I'll tell her to check it out and- and thanks Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Mm.

===Bubbles's Pussy and Sex in the Comics===
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris? I have a question.
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, my favorite character is Bubbles, I kinda liked the, uh, the thing she had going with Blake, where she was kind of keeping the relationship secret. I thought that was kinda clever. I was wondering, uh, she's a water-type, so does that mean that her vagina is always wet, or does she have to be aroused like a normal woman?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Yeah, aroused. That's applied for all the, uh, Rosechus there. And also, like, you know, she's not just a water-type, she's also- she's a water- and electric-type, like uh- oh, shoot- What's the name of that one? Originated from Gold-Silver-Crystal series, uh, evolves from Chinchou? Lanturn. And she has, uh, she has Volt Absorb ability.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, Chris, another question following Bubbles. Uh, her body is 90% water, and now this thing about the whole sexual intercourse - about it. Now, don't take this rude, and you don't need to answer me... 
 '''Chris:''' No, that's fine.
 '''Troll:''' ...I try to respect your creative work. My wife actually got me into this, uh, show actually. So, what happens is- like, as you know, like, semens are like little fishes in themselves. Would that mean, I mean, would they actually have a route to fly into the egg, in theory, or do they just swim around her whole body, just forever just swimming around.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. The, uh, the internal or- the internal organs uh, for the Rosechus are pretty much the same thing, so I'd say pre- about, uh, as good chance as most any other mammal.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, so you mean she's able to control her density a little bit more. She- I understand now. She's able to control more her density from the 90% water. Okay. That pretty much answers it just perfectly. That's been bothering me at work. ''Laughs''
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I got another question, Chris, about this whole sexual thing. I mean, this is a children's comic, right? Why is there so much sex in it?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. It's called romance, and my- and my- if you'll notice throughout the comics my best pieces of artwork among which were those where dey were kissing and making out. Romantic moments.
 '''Clyde:''' There's a hidden page.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' And because- and because- and because of the tension from, uh, the trolls and Encyclopedia Dramatica, I just felt like doing that in protest against them.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, but childre-
 '''Jack Thaddeus''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' Yes but how is that really a protest? That, you know, you know, are, are you like referencing to the 60's when women burned their bras? That was in protes- That was feminism. Saying that they weren't slaves to men. Do you even understand the whole thing?
 ''[Pause, multiple voices are heard at once]''
 '''Chris:''' Now, to tell you the truth, I never really thought about, I never really thought about that when I-
 '''Jack Thaddeus''' ''[Interrupting Chris]'' Then how is, stripping was, how was that protest- 
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Jack Thaddeus]'' It shows that they have vaginas and NOT dicks. 
 '''Jack Thaddeus''' The dick thing was the fact that they were just, you know, mocking you. I think you went overboard with that. 
 '''Chris:''' Well maybe I did. Maybe I did. 
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, you did, because that seems kind of excessive, kind of (interrupted)
 '''Troll:''' I don't think they would have even bothered to write about an article about you if you didn't just keep reacting like that.

===Chris justifies sex in a kids' comic===

 '''Troll:''' I have another question.
 '''Troll:''' The point some of us are trying to make is, if it's TV-Y7 that means there should really be no sex in it at all.
 '''Clyde:''' ''(unintelligible over other people)''
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty much incorrect, I mean, uh, there's so many romantic anime that's TV-Y7, and they shoul- they have making out.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, a lot of things in Japan, Japan has stricter standards-not stricter, I mean looser guidelines than America. It's much different.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, I was just wondering what Bubbles, um, she has a, that water whirlwind attack, I was just curious if you had any plans to make- ''(Chris butts in)''
 '''Chris:''' By the way, that was a Whirl- Whirlpool.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Whirlpool, sorry, sorry, Whirlpool, but do you have any plans to mix an, uh, Electric-type attack with that, since water conducts electricity, right? It could be a very powerful-
 '''Chris:''' ''(interrupts)'' Yeah, she did, she did an electric attack amongst the- the walls of that Whirlpool and she let out. In case you didn't know, there's a- little bits of lightning bolts among which-
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, I'm sor- I didn't notice that, I'm sorry, I'll go take another look. Thank you.
 '''Max?:''' Hey Chris-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max?:''' You make some pretty sweet Little Big Planet levels.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.

===Chris on Benadryl babysitting===

 '''Clyde:''' Oh, there's a message from Cogs on the side, about, uh, do women not have the right to vote already in CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' No, ervy- Everybody, no matter what age, no matter what gender or race, ervybody has the right to vote in CWCville. Even if they're black.
 '''Clyde:''' Then what's up with the "Votes for Women" thing, I was-
 '''Troll:''' Not just vote women, but- ''(interrupted)'' any other ethnicities, and gays?
 '''Troll:''' I don't understand-
 '''Chris:''' I did that- heard it in Mary Poppins.
 '''Jack:''' What? Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, man, Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Mary Poppins.
 '''Polly:''' I remember that movie.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, yeah, that movie.
 '''Chris:''' It's a classic. It's my favorite movie of all time.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that movie was, like, based in the 1900s.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but still I- still I agreed with that message there-
 '''Clyde:''' Taken out of context, that makes it seem like CWCville's set in the 1960s ''[sic].''
 '''Jack:''' What message? That children should be given cough medicine so they'll go to sleep?
 '''Chris:''' ''What?''
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that's what women used to do back in- That's what mothers, friggin' nurses and stuff used to do to kids in the 1900s, is give children, like, you know, cough medicine.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[laughter]''
 '''Chris:''' Cause- cause the medicine- uh, correction, the medicine did not put them to sleep, there was a lullaby, not the cough medicine. They only had to take the cough medicine-
 '''Jack:''' No cough medicine-
 '''Chris:''' ...because it rained, before dere, and it was not, and it was to, uh-
 '''Jack:''' Rain means cough medicine doesn't have anything to do with each other. That's not how friggin' germs are spread, or colds are gotten. Colds are gotten through germs, not the rain.
 '''Troll:''' How is cough medicine any different from today's parents that just let their kids watch TV until they fall asleep? I mean, it's just as bad.
 '''Jack:''' Well- Cough medicine has a lot to do with the psychological effects of it. Obviously if you get- if you keep giving fre-
 '''Troll:''' Thanks, Samantha, that was delicious.
 '''Jack:''' What?
 '''Troll:''' It's my, uh, Samantha-
 '''Polly:''' Yeah, that's we're all saying, cause I've heard that there's a lot of different chemicals in cough medicine. You could cook up a ''(unintelligible)''
 '''Jack:''' I don't even take cough medicine, because I'm not a pussy.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, so.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, I never put any references, I never did any references or plan any references to cough medicine or anything of that sort.
 '''Troll:''' Well, Chris, Cassie says the last e-mail she got from you was on the 17th. How 'bout your being gay? Is that true?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' That wa- That was somebody had- That was Clyde hacking through my e-mail and spammed that to my contacts.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, I definitely did not do that-
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel-
 '''Chris:''' -a slanderous lie.
 '''Clyde:''' I did not do that.
 '''Troll:''' Whoa-whoa-whoa. Wow. Well, thanks for that. She was worried that you were- that you don't like her.
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't do that. That was someone else.
 '''Polly:''' I was wondering, because I've heard other ''(unintelligible)'' too, I was really hoping that you weren't gay.
 '''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm straight.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you. And, uh-
 '''Clyde:''' Cogs- Cogs got a way- she showed us that, okay? I mean, you only ''(unintelligible)''
 '''Chris:''' Polly, Polly-

===Chris's fail-riffic Spanish===

 '''Troll:''' So, Chris.
''(at this point about four or five people are talking at once)''
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Screwhead's from Mexico. I heard you like Spanish, so.
 '''Troll:''' Hola, Chris.
 '''Troll:''' You know Spanish, right?
 '''Chris:''' Si. ''(unintelligible broken Spanish)'' a Mexico. ''(unintelligible)'' dos años ''(unintelligible)''.
 '''Troll:''' Has estal`on Mexico?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, lo siento?
 '''Troll:''' Has estal`on Mexico?
 '''Chris:''' Estoy Mexico? No.
 '''Troll:''' ''[slowly]'' Has estalo, ama in Mexico. Has venir?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, no, I hav- no, no tengo pansars. ''[sic]''
 '''Troll:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I think, uh, I think I meant to say- I'm pretty sure-
 '''Jack:''' Did you just say you don't wear pants?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I was trying to say, ah, I don't have plans to go in Mexico at the moment.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Chris:''' That's what I understood what he was saying there.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, did you know that, that 4-cent garbage website is located in Mexico?
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Jack:''' That's why-
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, that's why they can't get shut down.
 '''Chris:''' Mm.
 '''Troll:''' ''(unintelligible)'' borders, plus it's cheaper to run sites over there, they have, like, several servers.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Troll:''' Chris. Cassie wanted to talk to you, but she couldn't make it here, and well, she wants to be your Spanish teacher, because she says that you've got to improve your Spanish.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Oh, that Cassie. Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought you were- I got mixed up. Um... Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I, uh, I haven't talked to that- I haven't talked to Cassie in a while, but I've been mostly talking to, uh, her gal- her, uh, gal-pal and I'm sure- I'm sure she'd tell you a lot about her...

===In which unhealthful habits are discussed===

 '''Troll:''' Hey Chris, how- how does Sonichu keep Rosechu from spending more than a hundred dollars at the mall? I've always wondered how he could manage to do that. I've always had problems with that myself.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' That wa- That time at the mall, it was, uh, Kel loaned the credit card. And it's like, yeah- she gave- she gave Sonichu the responsibility of that credit card. She did.
 '''Troll:''' ''(unintelligible)''
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I've always given my advice on cannabis, you should do the ''(unintelligible)'', Chris, but I think she wants your response.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, one of my friends sent me this picture, and I think you might find it kinda disturbing just because they say it's proof that you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Aw yeah, I saw that, that's just a crappy Photoshop.
 '''Jack:''' No, that one doesn't- this one doesn't look Photoshopped at all.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not gonna look at it.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, you're not? Oh.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, uh, you say you're against smoking?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. As a matter of fact, CWCville is a smoke-free, non-alcoholic city.
 '''Jack:''' ''(partially drowned out)'' That's what we call a totalitarian state...
 '''Troll:''' Oh, and, uh, in the pilot episode with Seth McFarlane, of, you know, Family Guy? He's always smoking. What do you think about that?
 '''Clyde:''' Go smoke.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I just- I just take that with a grain of salt, and, uh, you know, that's what--
 '''Troll:''' I mean, if he can smoke, why can't anyone else? I mean, it's-
 '''Chris:''' Because it causes cancer!
 '''Jack:''' So does a lot of things.
 '''Polly:''' It could be a pot pipe.
 '''Chris:''' In any case, I'm not- in any, in any case I've never done it and I never will.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, but eating so much fast food can give you a heart attack.

===Transcription ends at 24:26===

{{transcription}}

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?mtnztmniomk Download]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Mumble chats]]

CADD

2010-01-14T22:26:23Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|Chris's Associate in Applied Science with CADD emphasis. "The Associate in Applied Science degree is awarded to students who are permitted to relax some of the general education requirements in order to study more course work in their program area. This kind of degree is for students who intend to enter the work force upon graduation."|thumb]]
[[Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|Chris's CADD certificate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]|thumb]]

'''CADD''' stands for "Computer-Aided Drafting and Design". It's pretty much a 2-year course (though it took Chris more like 6 years to complete it, including the year in which he was expelled from college) that teaches you how to use MS Paint. Even though it took Chris a long time to obtain this "degree", of the years spent pursuing it, he has only produced 2 pieces of work (while one might assume they were two big projects over a long amount of time, the two pieces of work he produced were a map of his mall and an incredibly large 3D Mayor's Office about the size of a football field with nothing much inside it).

Chris has two <strike>degrees</strike> certificates in CADD. Looking at his current art, he'd probably have been better off spending his tuition fees on [[Lego]]. The Associate's Degree in CADD is no longer offered by [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<ref>http://www2.dailyprogress.com/cdp/news/local/local_govtpolitics/article/pvcc_drops_programs_amid_state_budget_crisis1/34137/</ref>

Chris states in his [[Matt Devoria|call to Kacey's father]] that he entered into the CADD program without knowing what kind of jobs such a certificate could get him. Throughout his years at [[PVCC]], and in the 3 years since graduating, he still hasn't bothered to figure it out. If [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] still cared about anything, they'd be kicking themselves for wasting money on his tuition.

==Timewarp==
In [[Sonichu 5]], [[Christian]] claims he got his CADD degree in May [[2006]]. He had, however, already been suspended from [[PVCC]] for over a year by then, so chances are large they just gave him the certificate to shut him up, and to stop [[Bob Chandler]] from suing them for playing [[kick the autistic]]. If this is true, it could mean that Chris never even finished his CADD classes, which seems quite likely, considering [[CADD Chef]] consistently gave Chris the terrible grades he so rightly deserved.

==Usage in the comics==
Chris's CADD degrees apparently come into use within his [[comic]]s, he even alludes to them assisting him at many points in his comic; for example, [[:Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|Sonichu & Rosechu's benefit house]]. However the few basic measuring skills he may have picked up from his CADD courses are made even more pitiful by the fact he never uses a ruler nor are his drawings to scale, defeating the purpose of even learning CADD courses in the first place.

A villain by the name of [[CADD Chef]] appears in the comics, mocking Chris's designs for his mall. It is speculated that CADD Chef may be based on Chris's real life CADD teacher, and that he probably gave Chris a bad grade on his real life mall designs. This "injustice" guaranteed CADD Chef a place in the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] as one of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s minions.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original Project Files]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Liquid Chris

2010-01-14T21:42:23Z

SnorlaXBOX: fixing up transcription

[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|right|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris]]
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|thumb|right|The imposter [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.]]

'''Liquid Chris''' (aka '''the impostor in the brown stripes''' aka '''CChanSonichuCWC''', erroneously "'''Jeff'''") (born 24 February 1982) is the '''TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY - DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]]. His artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]]. He makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] conventions.

==Theories==
{{incomplete}}
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|left|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!!]]
There are several theories as to why there are two Christian Weston Chandlers who both claim to be the creator of the Sonichu series, and why one Chris-chan seems to be better than the other. Some of these theories include:

* '''The Ian Brandon Anderson hypothesis''' - the so-called "[[Real Chris]]" who goes by ''[[IBAChandler]]'' on [[YouTube]] is really an impostor named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (hence IBA) who is a professional [[troll]] dedicated to impersonating Chris. The fact that the impostor calls himself a "[[gaybian]]" seems to suggest that he wasn't actually saying that he was a "gay lesbian", but "gay-be-ian" as in "Gay be Ian", or "My name is Ian and I am a homosexual."

* '''Government experiment''' - some argue that [[Metal Gear Solid|Liquid and Solid Chris]] were a result of a government experiment, similar to the popular comedy movie ''Twins'' where Liquid was created to be an Übermensch (though Cherry Cola may have caused some of the defects such as idiosyncratic behavior {{cite}}) while Solid inherited all the recessive genes.

* '''Alternate timeline''' - some argue that Liquid Chris is from an alternate timeline where Chris was not coddled by his parents and managed to do something with his life.

[[Image:Torture.jpg|thumb|Liquid Chris torturing the imposter]]
* '''IBA is a different person''' - both Christian Weston Chandlers have been coexisting for years, both ironically creating the same exact character and storyline of Sonichu. Ian Brandon Anderson is a completely separate person from Solid Chris who merely looks a lot like him, and Liquid Chris has been mistaking him for Ian Brandon Anderson the entire time. Solid Chris does not know that he is the only one who can save Liquid Chris from the real IBA's evil clutches.

* '''Parallel dimension''' - similar to the alternate timeline argument, some suggest that Liquid Chris comes from a parallel dimension where his parents were not coddled and a dimension where copyright laws as we know them do not exist and combinations of original characters are created as works of pure genius.

* '''Physical Manifestation of Chris's Shadow''' - According to Jungian psychology, the shadow is the opposite of the self-image, often containing qualities that the ego does not identify with but possesses nonetheless. Solid and Liquid Chris are one and the same person but with different personality traits. Somehow, while the method is unknown, the Liquid Chris personality was extracted from Solid Chris into a physical form containing all the opposites in Solid Chris's personality (read: the good ones)

==Drama with Chris==
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|right|Ceci n'est pas une Chris]]
In all seriousness, [[CWC]] has further demonstrated his total inability to understand satire and [[parody]]. Recently, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts | two]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009 | videos]] vehemently defending his claim that he is the original creator of [[Sonichu]] (Whoop-de-fucking-doo). CChanSonichuCWC has fired back with much more coherent, well-made videos, gathering him a cult of fans on [[YouTube]].

[http://www.youtube.com/v/OX1wo9FQ_SA&hl=en&fs=1& Behold.]

On [[July 2009|July 26th, 2009]], Solid Chris posted the following on one of CChanSonichu's videos:

;The Final Showdown

Hey, DUMBASS! YOU WISH YOU WERE ME! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler

==Irony==
[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|If you look hard, you can see the TRUE, HONEST Sonichu medallion.]]
IBAChandler has mocked the CChanSonichuCWC on several points:

* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone]].

* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt]].

* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off Sonichu]].

* [[Fat|His appearance]].

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, [[Fail|and the mirror is winning.]]

In early August 2009<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref>, Solid started to believe that Liquid can't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a retard who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ends up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

== Challenges ==
[[Image:LadiesLoveLiquid.jpg|thumb|right|ALL THE LADIES (and [[BlueSpike|trolls pretending to be ladies]]) LOVE LIQUID!]]
CChanSonichuCWC has been challenged by CWC on two separate occasions. The first time, Chris challenged him in broken Spanish to respond to his video in Spanish as well, since the real CWC can "speak" Spanish in this [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_July_29th%2C_2009#Transcript|video]]. CChanSonichuCWC did so not only in Spanish but also in French, German, and Japanese [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2FCChanSonichuCWC&feature=player_profilepage here] . The second time, Chris challenged him to a [[SingStar_Challenge|karaoke]] competition.

== Showdown ==
<center>{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = SHOWDOWN: With the Recording of The Feds, The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|bmGkTFFczjY}}
| Stardate = 09 [[August 2009]]
| Featuring = Liquid Chris; [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
| Subject = Liquid confronts Ian about the slander that Ian's been giving him.
| Saga = {{Liquid}}Liquid Saga
| Previous =
| Next =
}}</center>

Chris had a telephone exchange with CChanSonichuCWC in which he threatens to arrest him for identity theft and involve [[Bob]] in this debacle.

===Transcript===
IBA: Hello?

CWC: Hello Ian. Yeah I think you know who this is.

IBA: Look Christian, stop this.

CWC: Look, you are giving me a lot of stress right now and I am not going to handle it.

IBA: (sighs) Look, Chris, listen, I was kind enough to accept the fact that you are actually a Christian W. Chandler, but you were…

CWC: No! My name, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.

IBA: All right fine, your name is Christian Weston Chandler. But the fact is, you were born with that name; you are not the Christian Weston Chandler that was born as Christopher Weston Chandler, who’s the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu.

CWC: No, no, no.

IBA: I’ve asked you nicely to please stop pretending, for the sake of [[Kacey]]. She really cares about you.

CWC: I am not pretending anything. And you need to stop slandering me with your lies on the YouTube.

IBA: Look, I don’t know what the heck is wrong with your head, but you know and I know, my parents know, Kacey knows, the whole world knows that you are not Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.

CWC: Hold on! Well... well then the whole world must be slandering against me, because I don’t think that’s very true. Because my fan base, if you took a look at my YouTube, you take a look at my YouTube video, you see that my fanbase has left me comments of support. And I’ve taken a look at your YouTube video and you and I see that they are all calling you out.

IBA: Look, Chris please, don't- don’t do this. You’re breaking my balls here. Stop doing this. Stop playing this game. Quit pretending. Please come clean. Stop it.

CWC: I am not pretending... Mmmm. You are really ticking me off right now. Mmm.

IBA: Look, we’re both ticking each other off, but let's…

CWC: You keep making up; all these things, I mean whatever, you know, AND right now, you’re making that up right now.

IBA: Making what up?

CWC: You're just making that up off the top of your head, because your name is not Christian Weston Chandler, it is Ian Brandon Anderson, and you are grinding my gears.

IBA: No, no, listen, I'll spell it out for you; I came up with I - B - A - Chandler as in ''I'' being myself, ''B'' as in specifying what I am, ''A'' as in singular, and ''Chandler'' being my last name. There is no such thing as Ian Brandon Anderson.

CWC: No, because I found it out, your Ian Brandon Anderson name, the reason you a... you added Chandler to that is because you were paying tribute to the serial killer ''[[Wikipedia:Oba Chandler|Oba Chandler]]''.

(Ian and his parents talk in the background.)

IBA: Are you still there?

CWC: Yeah, I'm still here. What do you want to talk about?

(Ian and his parents talk in the background more.)

IBA (background): I'm not going to let this go, he's *inaudible* around with me in real life.

(Bob talks in the background.)

IBA (background): He's continuing to call me this ''Ian Brandon Anderson'' that somebody made up.

(Bob talks in the background some more.)

IBA: Look, Chris, stop it, stop this game, you know...

CWC: I am not playing a game, I have... I have not... I have been... I have been being true and honest this entire time, and you have been playing a dirty game.

IBA: Look, stop... No, no, no, no, I am not playing a game, I am being the true... I am true honest voice of reason here, I am the true honest one here. I am the original true creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] and the world of [[CWCville]]- (gets cut off)

CWC: No, no, no, that was me.

IBA: You're just... No, no, no, no. (gets cut off by CWC) You have never been to Manchester High School, you have never been to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], you are taking the same class as Kacey is, over at community college in Washington DC.

CWC: No I am not, I don't even live in the Washington DC.

IBA: You ''are'' in DC, I know it, she knows it, we all know it, now stop it, if you don't (gets cut off by CWC) If you don't (gets cut off again) If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like (voice cracks) you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!

CWC: That's not true, I am ''[[honor roll]]''! I am honor roll, and you... you have just been... (trademark groan) And you know what? How would you... when would you even, you know, you keep making all these threats with the police and (gets cut off)

IBA: I am not making any threats (gets cut off), everything I tell you is ''true'', ''honest'', and ''legit'', you are the one- (gets cut off)

CWC: No, you are being, you were being, you are not being true and you are ''not'' being honest.

IBA: Okay, this is it. I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just busting my balls again, ''you're going to jail'', I'm sorry Kacey.

== The End ==

At the end of the competition, CChanSonichuCWC won the [[SingStar Challenge]]. He had a tally of 4 votes in favor, 2 against. After showing the viewers that he was the true and best Christian Weston Chandler, he decided to "grow up". Having found a true sweetheart, ([[Kacey]]); a job (Production Manager and Game Designer at Microsoft for a Sonichu game for all consoles); commercial (Dark Horse Comics publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]]) and financial success (the opening of the CWCStore); he decided to stop battling the [[Chris|slanderous impostor]] move out of his parent's house to live in Redmond, Seattle and continue with his happy, successful life.

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At the end Ian Brandon Anderson couldn't take it, and after his [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|last video]] the fate of CChanSonichuCWC was revealed. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

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What happened next is unknown, but one thing is clear: '''IAN BRANDON ANDERSON HAS KIDNAPPED OUR BELOVED CHRIS.'''

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

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==The Return of the King==
Chris, not one to give up easily, triumphantly returned to the Internet on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months:

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Since his return, Chris has been caught up in a heated love triangle, with Ian desperately trying to steal Chris' sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] adressed to Kacey's parents, Ian called him "'''the previous Chris'''". In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Ian called him the "'''other Chris'''" repeatedly.

When the dust had settle, Ian had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Real Chris.

== In the Comics ==
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycatly sieze to the extreme!]]

<s>On November 17, 2009, the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu (comic)|shitty ripoff comic]]. Ian, being the butthurt idiot he is, actually had the nerve to imply that the real Chris's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and again tried to convince everyone that he was the original creator of Sonichu. This only proves how far that slanderous impostor will go to feed his delusions of grandeur.</s>

Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown him in [[Sonichu Special 4|Ian's sick parody]].

==See also==
*[[Robert Simmons V]] - an inverse of Liquid: someone exactly like Chris but who wants to be Chris's friend.

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
*[http://www.youtube.com/cchansonichucwc CChanSonichuCWC YouTube account]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Real_Chris_Chan ED article on The Real Chris Chan]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayObshLZQwI CWC vs. CWC (part 1 out of 3)]

 {{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}

[[Category:Trolls]]

Chris and sex

2010-01-14T05:33:18Z

SnorlaXBOX: grammar

{{Honest}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches my ass, Chris.]]
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. Chris repeatedly refers to women as the "opposite gender" as opposed to "opposite sex." By definition, "gender" refers to the personality of a person, while "sex" refers to the physiology or genetics of a person. So a request from Chris for love from the opposite gender, is an open invitation to MTF trannies. In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And, he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Chris also suffers from the delusion that his [[duck|penis]] is [[Giant Penis Comic|huge]]. Unfamiliar with the concept of "inconsistency", he'll still claim the former. He also has a flaccidity problem, which is possibly a hormonal pathology or [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]]. Despite this obvious lack of virility, he is still a stud in his own mind.

Chris has advised little children to play with the opposite gender's toys. According to him, boys should get [[My Little Pony]]s, and girls ought to go for [[Transformers]], all to better understand the opposite gender. Go ahead, take advice from a 27-year-old virgin retard (seriously don’t). In his [[Sonichu 9|Dating ED]] comic, the teacher gave boys "[[Barbara]]" dolls, while the girls received "[[Bob|Robert]]" dolls. Disturbingly enough, these are the names of his parents. This is consistent with Freudian psychology - to a child, their parents are their model for sexual relationships. Of course, Chris's selfish ass doesn't realize that not everyone is lucky (if you could call it that) enough to have parents like his.

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of misogynistic tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[Attraction_Sign|attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. This view is supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful and perfect little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

To further reiterate just how straight he is, Chris released his infamous [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|dildo crushing video]], featuring a sign on the back of his foot - which he uses to proclaim that HE IS STRAIGHT for the nth time - containing a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of breasts and a hairy vagina. Because this is what all straight men do to assert their heterosexuality.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69'ing? Vaginal/Penile intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this shit.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[Homos|homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew straight over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a third or fourth date with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or just is simply too retarded to figure out that masturbation ''itself'' is the sin, not spilling your DNA. Whatever the reason, it's hilarious. It should also be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. He also believes that premarital sex is okay as long as he's wearing a condom, because that means there will be a barrier between his [[duck]] and her [[china]]. Again, he doesn't understand that the sex itself is the sin, and not whether they're touching or not.

Despite being told many a time about these fallacies, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris has confronted Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is pure unadulterated bullshit. He can't hold a conservative view of homosexuality and a liberal view of fornication at the same time. Some might call this doublethink, but those who know better know it's just Chris being too retarded to understand hypocrisy.

In fact, Chris seems to consider a women sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This brazen attitude toward women only validates us with an image of what a woman is for Chris: a [[Megan Schroeder|living, sentient sex-toy]] existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|right]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the [[sex tape]] shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name (JUUULAAAAAAY!!!) in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game, again, copying what he sees in porn. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched and feminine voice, without any real feeling.

Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that Chris may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (i.e. from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance, etc.) or psychological (i.e. performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex etc.) in nature.

Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal".

==Staying straight==
''See also [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|Fear of being a homo]]''
 
Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay, so he insists on only having female friends ([[gal pal]]s). He admitted to using a [[Sailor Moon]] poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of [[Megan]]'s, he became hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say:

{{quote|Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."'| Chris, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*" , Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)}}

Chris's answers to [[Mailbag|fan mail]] suggest that he is bombarded by constant homoerotic thoughts and uses several unhealthy coping methods to suppress them:

{{quote|Although the gender change would be my "rather-to-do" over becoming a homo, but in your case, I would suggest looking at women more, fantasize yourself with their breasts and pussys [sic]; do this continuously. Hypnotize yourself; every time you have a homo thought, you will feel like you are being shocked by lightning and that it really hurts. And every time you fantasize women, breasts and pussy, you will feel calm, relaxed and good. But DO NOT hurt yourself physically for real; that would be really bad. In other words, you would be reprogramming your brain. | Chris, [[Mailbag 3]]}}

{{quote|First off, should such images enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever. | Chris, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC fan chat]], Chris went so far as wanting to make homosexuality illegal:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls".|Chris, 02 January 09, 11:59}}

When asked how he would go about this, he commented that homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' Take a moment to consider how fucked-up that would be. He justifies this by saying that ''"it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will."'' Apparently lazy, greedy, sexually lascivious, vengeful retards who wish damnation upon others are all part of God's divine plan.

Chris also believes his "straight" blood could be used to engineer some kind of anti-gay vaccine:

{{quote|Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter [sic] a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... [[Reldnahc]]. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.| Chris, [[Mailbag 1]]}}

The true irony of Chris' homophobia lies in his own logic. Chris hates [[Jerks|every male on the face of the earth]] save his [[Bob Chandler|father]] due to numerous rejections from women, under the guise of them already having boyfriends. Chris, [[Dating education|completely confident that he is a perfect Adonis and that there must be some other reason women reject him]], took their statements to heart and came up with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. Now, if the the entire gay community were strapped down and tortured into being straight, Chris' already pathetically slim chances of finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] rocket down another notch, increasing the manchild's chances of dying alone, and the Gene Pool taking a step forward.

TL;DR Chris want to force all men into being straight, even though it would be a step back for rational society, and - even by his own standards - bad for him.

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your [[Virgin_with_rage|virginity]].

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is a homo deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor_Moon_Poster_of_Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass_debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]", while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky", but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a [[homo]]. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, one should consider the fact that some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple_Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). Chris could very well not be genuinely interested in sex not due to asexuality but because he genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. Just wait until he finds out that's not the definition of adulthood, that growing up brings things like responsibility, along with the expectation that you'll be able to support yourself and others, and have meaningful relationships. Don't worry, he won't. He never learns.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

==[[Pedofork|Pedophilia]]==
[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I AM NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS!"]]
To avoid looking like a pedophile, Chris made an announcement before [[Sonichu 8|issue 8]] that he was changing the ages of the characters so they could all legally have sex (in Virginia, at least. The age of consent for most states is 16). While retconning a character's age is hardly unusual, it's obvious in this case that he did it just so his recolors could screw — after all, why else would he make such a big announcement about retconning anyway?

Although the Sonichu series was originally intended for children, he put a bunch of porn into issue 8. This included - but was not limited to - graphic depictions of Sonichu and Rosechu having sex, and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. Also, towards the end of episode 17, an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." This quote is a good indicator that [[Pedofork|Chris believes the legal age should be lower.]] This belief was later confirmed in one of Chris's responses to [[troll|fan]] mail in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]], where he states that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. But in Virginia, it's 18. He also believes that kids can participate in "adult" activities, like [[Family Guy|perverse satires with adult themes]] and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision.

All of his attempts at a classified ad for himself always start with "I'm looking for an 18-2X boyfriend free girl…" At his age, being seen with a woman almost a decade younger than him would be considered socially unacceptable and downright creepy, based on the "half-your-age-plus-seven" tradition. Of course, Chris doesn't understand social mores regarding age differences, so to him, if she's legal and breathing, she's fuckable. This, of course, may lead one to ask how low he'd go. If the legal age were, for example, 14, would he instead be saying "I'm looking for an 14-27 year old boyfriend-free girl…"?

In addition, Chris notoriously had sex with [[Kimmi]], an anime blow up doll that looks underage. He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said character and her 8 year old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear… ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in Sonichu #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in the [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics). This obviously brings up many questions.

Chris also harbors a longing for 17-year-old [[Megan|Megan Griffin]] from [[Family Guy]], and even had a video in the favorites of his old Youtube account depicting her with inflatable tits. His ED user page had a picture of her, proclaiming he would be more than willing to be her boyfriend. When he began to be harassed about being a pedophile, he changed it to say, "I'll be your boyfriend, 18-year-old Megan Griffin". Smooth, Chris. [[fail|''Reeeeeeal'' smooth]]. This took on a whole new level when he openly proclaimed a desire to have sex with Megan, though he kept himself in check enough to ask that the writers of Family Guy at least [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|age her to 18 before he somehow has sex with her]].

To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted in somewhat shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six year-old character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series. Now this shock could mean that he looks down on someone going after someone so young or it could just be shock that someone shares a [[Love Quest|common interest]] with him... In addition to his shock he stated that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|bestiality]] is wrong, but of course he didn't mention the age factor. Whether this means Chris doesn't mind that or whether he's just an idiot (or [[For Julie's Eyes Only|both]]) is up for debate, but keep in mind his own [[Sonichu|original character]] [[Rosechu]] is based off of [[Amy Rose]], another character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and one who is only twelve years old canonically speaking{{cite}}.

It's possible Chris only cares about getting his [[china]], and not so much how old it is. Then again, he doesn't ask for girls any older than him on his [[sign]], so clearly he [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|likes 'em young]], so to speak. But this also might be a throwback from his "old-fashioned" rearing, which demands that the woman must be younger.

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Some argue that he only said that so he could get to [[PandaHalo|Panda's]] sweet [[china]]. But still - dude would fuck a dog.

Chris is a notorious furry, as he has used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]]. In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures fucking. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is. Another possible theory is, knowing the [[Chris and hypocrisy|level of maturity]] Chris displays every day, he's unable to mention the [[China|basic]] [[Semen|terms]] [[Duck|describing]] [[Hanky-Panky|sexual]] [[Mass debating|action]]. For this [[Autism|retarded]] reason, the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material while not really presenting anything.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men <s>because they were fucked by their dad</s> for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a [[Virgin with Rage]]. [[Hooker_incident|Hilarity ensued]].

==Chris and rape==
{{Quote|I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.|Chris, a man that groped a [[Kacey|woman]] the first time he met her.}}
As Chris's sexual frustrations continue to build and build, some observers have raised the unsettling question of whether he might try to force himself on a woman. The possibility does seem real - his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]] provides many examples of his inability to understand the importance of respecting physical boundaries and the simple fact that "no means no."

Thanks to his characteristic lack of empathy, Chris has almost no grasp on how emotional and physical intimacies develop in the real-world. [[Anime]] and porn have taught him all the wrong lessons – he assumes that sex is something that just happens, and usually sooner rather than later. He quite literally follows the saying "rape is how they say 'hello' in Japan". Being a retard, he assumes that not only is that true, but that it applies to Western culture as well. He took it as a given that Megan would put out if he won the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest and took her to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]. In his conversations with [[Vivian Gee]], he professed a belief that sex automatically happens after the [[third date]]. During his feud with [[CChanSonichuCWC]], he seemed to think that he’d be able to get some if he lured his rival's girlfriend [[Kacey]] to his house, and never mind that she'd probably be able to tell the difference between Chris and her ''real'' boyfriend. This is him again believing that everyone is as stupid and terrible with faces as he is.

Whether Chris understands rape as a concept is up for debate. He claims that he knows what rape is, but at the very least, his self-absorption and lack of empathy mean that he doesn't understand the gravity of rape, or its long-term consequences for the victim. It is possible that the only reason he knows anything about rape is through porn, where it isn't portrayed as bad, and the girl always ends up enjoying it in the end.

As stated above, Chris has claimed that in his ideal world, homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' It is unknown if Chris would obtain permission from the women before putting them to work "reprogramming" gay men, but the fact that he specifies prison inmates seems to imply that he doesn't expect the women to cooperate willingly. The fact that he believes prisons being co-ed would reduce the incidence of homosexuality shows that he is, on some level, aware that homosexual sex and rape occurs in prison, but he doesn't specify whether integration would allow men and women to have consensual relations or just shift the rape from male on male to male on female.

When [[IRC_(21_January_2009) |confronted with the news]] that his sweetheart [[PandaHalo]] had been raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and become pregnant as a result, Chris was easily distracted from the emotional impact of what had happened, and instead focused most of his attention on what kind of domestic arrangements would result, or whether he might have to forego his trip to Nintendo of America headquarters in order to pay for an abortion. His first reaction was to tell her that he wouldn't blame her or "hold it against [her]". Any woman assumes as long as her mate isn't a misogynistic asshole that he wouldn't blame her, and being "reassured" of such isn't exactly comforting or helpful. Chris was even willing to accept the mind-boggling possibility that Panda might want to live with Clyde, and raise her child alongside him.

While [[IRC (23 July 2009)|pretending to be a troll]] in an IRC conversation, Chris suggested twice that the trolls should instigate him to rape [[Rocky]]. What this says about Chris, be it that he actually wants to rape Rocky and then use the trolls as a convenient scapegoat ("They made me do it!"), or that he is particularly awful at bluffing, remains a mystery.

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris reveals that he had traveled forward in time and, aside from finding the cure for homosexuality, he also meets his "future wife", whom he rapes. More specifically, she thinks that Christian is his future self (of course, seeing how rapidly Chris appears to be aging now that he's dealing with the [[stress]] of everyone on the internet hating him, that seems unlikely) and proceeds to invite him home for some sexing. Chris seems to think that there's nothing wrong with having sex with [[Kacey|a woman]] if she thinks you're someone you're not. Chris falls back on the old standby, "if she didn't say no, it's not rape". Like his stance on [[Women's Rights]], where he maintains he's not a chauvinist because he'd never physically abuse a woman, Chris fails to realize that there's more to it than that.

In his video [[IPods Down and Listen Up]], Chis went as far as literally "singing" about sexual assault with him as the "star" rapist. The lyrics describe the victim as a "[[Niggos|sleek, sexy panther]]" whom [[Fail|he fails]] to ambush as she flees. Then [[Sonichu's Edge|he chases her]], wear her out and, in his own words, ''"...You take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump (pump-pump, pump) ..."'' until impregnation. Then he describes his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|bastard children]]. There's nothing more [[Hello, Juffalo|sickening than this]].

In the face all these foreboding implications, however, it helps to keep a few practical facts in mind. Chris is a [[Chris and health|physically decrepit]] coward with an incredibly low threshold of pain. If he ever attempted to assault a woman, he probably wouldn’t get very far. For the sake of all involved, anyway, let's hope so. This is assuming that he doesn't squash her first with his [[obesity|massive girth]], in which case, there would be a problem.

== TL;DR ==

Chris is about as straight as his [[duck]].

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File:DPVPage7.png

2010-01-14T03:55:03Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 7. Chris's lines in the top two panels: actual dialogue from Sonichu 4. Category: Chris-Chan (fanart) Category: Mary Lee Walsh Category: Jerkops

"A Different Point of View" page 7. Chris's lines in the top two panels: actual dialogue from [[Sonichu 4]].
[[Category: Chris-Chan (fanart)]]
[[Category: Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category: Jerkops]]

Lovely Weather

2010-01-13T23:06:53Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|right|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips and how she's as tall as Chris...]]
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|150px|thumb|right|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]
'''Lovely Weather''' is Chris's future wife, who Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], "Revenge of the Nerds" style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation.

Chris likes to sing "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather...." [[Autism|over and over]]{{PublicSauce}}. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! Now it is. For the godless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "Sleigh Ride," a holiday staple since the early 1950s.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleigh_Ride Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]</ref>

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html Sleigh Ride Lyrics]</ref>}}

She can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather is a relatively new character in the [[Sonichu]] comic with a first appearance in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'', we can expect more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future.

She stands as a bold statement for Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she bears enormous jugs, a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.

Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag_27|MTF transsexuals.]]) As such, she could very well be a transwoman. Others speculate that she has man shoulders because [[Chris and art|Chris can't draw.]]
{{Clear}}
==Chris and time travel==
Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.

[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with his [[Barbara|mother]]]]For instance, the comic-book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time-travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

==Statutory Rape?==

Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[Mailbag|mailbags]] Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.

If Chris got a blowjob from a transvestite, would that be okay since he consented?

==Meg Griffin Affair==

In Sonichu Issue 10, only pages after travelling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of [[Family Guy]] fame. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn 18 yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.

{{Clear}}
{{Stub}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

User talk:Blazer

2010-01-12T05:44:18Z

SnorlaXBOX:

I couldn't help but notice, as I (for some unknown reason) was looking at the Jiggliami talk page, that you mentioned you were a fan of super robot anime. So yes, hello fellow mecha fan! --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 06:30, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
*And a hearty (hot-blooded) hello to you, too! Yes, I am a fan of them and here's hoping Chris doesn't find them and butcher them! I've already lost Gundam and the Power Rangers to him! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:51, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
:* The key with CWC butchering something you like is to, uh, not let it get to you? XD So what series do you like, out of curiosity? (Some of my favorites are Getter Robo, Gurren Lagann, RahXephon and Eva... quite an odd mix, isn't it? ...oh, and The Big O!) --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 21:02, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
::*Ha! I've done that plenty (Though I still can't look at Fanta without...). Anway, the series I like include Getter Robo (mostly the more recent OVAs), GaoGaiGar, the MazinKaiser OVAs and Nadesico. Probably a few others, I just don't remember ATM --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 21:06, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

{{Quote|Just a guy from Virginia who's enjoyed watching the ever-continuing spiral of Chris-chan... even though he continues making an embarrassment of my home state.}}

Now you know how I feel about Michelle Bachmann... --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 04:45, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
*Yeeikes! XD But, yeah, it's sad when you know someone's in the same place you live in and yet, you can't do anything about 'em! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:51, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
**I know what you mean. I'm glad to know I'm not the only person here sharing a state with the horror that is Chris! --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 05:44, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

File:DPVPage6.png

2010-01-12T05:30:15Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 6 Category:Mary Lee Walsh Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)

"A Different Point of View" page 6

[[Category:Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)]]

File:DPVPage5.png

2010-01-11T05:02:09Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 5. Category:Chris-Chan (fanart) Category:Mary Lee Walsh Category:Naitsirhc

"A Different Point of View" page 5.
[[Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)]]
[[Category:Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category:Naitsirhc]]

File:DPVPage4.png

2010-01-11T05:00:44Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 4. Category:Mary Lee Walsh Category: Naitsirhc

"A Different Point of View" page 4.
[[Category:Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category: Naitsirhc]]

Son-Chu

2010-01-10T03:38:35Z

SnorlaXBOX: Added section on dashboard items

[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll <s>shit bricks</s> ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris owns a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].

==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are ''really'' disabled.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear.

==Vanity plate==
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thusly ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever.

==Bumper Stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of either Sonic or Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a frenzy of patriotism.
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". I'm sure they appreciate his endorsment.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It unknown what resided here, but it has been speculated that it was a vandalization or "mislabeling" of some sort.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2010-01-10T03:19:04Z

SnorlaXBOX: Clarified one of the bumper stickers

[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll <s>shit bricks</s> ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris owns a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].

==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are ''really'' disabled.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Vanity plate==
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thusly ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever.

==Bumper Stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of either Sonic or Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a frenzy of patriotism.
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". I'm sure they appreciate his endorsment.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It unknown what resided here, but it has been speculated that it was a vandalization or "mislabeling" of some sort.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Chris and race

2010-01-09T21:30:09Z

SnorlaXBOX: finally decided where to put the section on stereotypes

{{deletion}}

Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of Chris's worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, he seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==Blacks==
[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup.]]

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

===Origin of the word "niggo"===
[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Chris doesn't trust them new niggers over there.]]
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggers'''."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying '''"niggos"''' instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal.

It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. [[BlueSpike]] pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will. So much for respecting the minorities.

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

==="No Darkies"===
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. (Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

===Niggos in Chris's life===
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

As described [[Chris and racism#CADD Chef|below]], Chris had a black teacher at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] who graded him harshly on his AutoCAD work. Chris's massive victim complex again caused him to write this teacher into the comic as a villain.

{{incomplete}}

===Parental influence===
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|left|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only one white guy and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

===Niggos in the Comic===
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

====[[B-Manajerk]]====
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

====[[Barack Obama]]====
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a <strike>turban</strike> strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that <strike>so his fans wouldn't think he was unpatriotic</strike> because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

====[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu====
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides <strike>probably so that Chris would look less racist</strike> because he's a <strike>clone</strike> recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a <strike>white</strike> pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

====[[CADD Chef]]====
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

==Asians==
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays Punchy as a Kung-Fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian.
Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of Kung-Fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same, and expresses dislike for the Chinese, as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans, No really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor (Joseph Smith would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a sports bra) and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. Instead, it served to illustrate his outrageous insensitivity and callowness.

==Jews==
{{main|Christmas}}

In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate Hannukah. On December 12 members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when Sonichu's daughter Cerah Rosey baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift!

The interesting moment is that there actually is a tradition of eating specially baked foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

===Minority Characters in Sonichu===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (Black)
*[[Jerkhief]] (Black)
*[[Silvana]] (Black)
*[[Turdijerk]] (Unclear, drawn with dark skin)
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian)
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Intended to be Native American)

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[Random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic.

==Not a Racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]..

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too.

Realistically Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off of what he's seen on TV]]. Chris' perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, sense encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and race

2010-01-09T21:28:27Z

SnorlaXBOX:

{{deletion}}

Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of Chris's worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, he seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==Blacks==
[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup.]]

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

===Origin of the word "niggo"===
[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Chris doesn't trust them new niggers over there.]]
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggers'''."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying '''"niggos"''' instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal.

It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. [[BlueSpike]] pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will. So much for respecting the minorities.

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

==="No Darkies"===
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. (Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

===Niggos in Chris's life===
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

As described [[Chris and racism#CADD Chef|below]], Chris had a black teacher at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] who graded him harshly on his AutoCAD work. Chris's massive victim complex again caused him to write this teacher into the comic as a villain.

{{incomplete}}

===Parental influence===
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|left|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only one white guy and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

===Niggos in the Comic===
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

====[[B-Manajerk]]====
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

====[[Barack Obama]]====
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a <strike>turban</strike> strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that <strike>so his fans wouldn't think he was unpatriotic</strike> because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

====[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu====
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides <strike>probably so that Chris would look less racist</strike> because he's a <strike>clone</strike> recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a <strike>white</strike> pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

====[[CADD Chef]]====
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[Random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic.

==Asians==
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays Punchy as a Kung-Fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian.
Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of Kung-Fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same, and expresses dislike for the Chinese, as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans, No really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor (Joseph Smith would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a sports bra) and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. Instead, it served to illustrate his outrageous insensitivity and callowness.

==Jews==
{{main|Christmas}}

In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate Hannukah. On December 12 members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when Sonichu's daughter Cerah Rosey baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift!

The interesting moment is that there actually is a tradition of eating specially baked foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

===Minority Characters in Sonichu===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (Black)
*[[Jerkhief]] (Black)
*[[Silvana]] (Black)
*[[Turdijerk]] (Unclear, drawn with dark skin)
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian)
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Intended to be Native American)

==Not a Racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]..

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too.

Realistically Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off of what he's seen on TV]]. Chris' perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, sense encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and race

2010-01-09T21:26:52Z

SnorlaXBOX: Moved some stuff.

{{deletion}}

Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of Chris's worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, he seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==Blacks==
[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup.]]

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

===Origin of the word "niggo"===
[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Chris doesn't trust them new niggers over there.]]
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggers'''."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying '''"niggos"''' instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal.

It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. [[BlueSpike]] pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will. So much for respecting the minorities.

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

==="No Darkies"===
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. (Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

===Niggos in Chris's life===
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

As described [[Chris and racism#CADD Chef|below]], Chris had a black teacher at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] who graded him harshly on his AutoCAD work. Chris's massive victim complex again caused him to write this teacher into the comic as a villain.

{{incomplete}}

===Parental influence===
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|left|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only one white guy and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

===Niggos in the Comic===
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

====[[B-Manajerk]]====
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

====[[Barack Obama]]====
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a <strike>turban</strike> strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that <strike>so his fans wouldn't think he was unpatriotic</strike> because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

====[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu====
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides <strike>probably so that Chris would look less racist</strike> because he's a <strike>clone</strike> recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a <strike>white</strike> pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

====[[CADD Chef]]====
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===Chris and stereotypes===
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[Random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic.

==Asians==
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays Punchy as a Kung-Fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian.
Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of Kung-Fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same, and expresses dislike for the Chinese, as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans, No really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor (Joseph Smith would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a sports bra) and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. Instead, it served to illustrate his outrageous insensitivity and callowness.

==Jews==
{{main|Christmas}}

In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate Hannukah. On December 12 members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when Sonichu's daughter Cerah Rosey baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift!

The interesting moment is that there actually is a tradition of eating specially baked foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

===Minority Characters in Sonichu===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (Black)
*[[Jerkhief]] (Black)
*[[Silvana]] (Black)
*[[Turdijerk]] (Unclear, drawn with dark skin)
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian)
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Intended to be Native American)

==Not a Racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]..

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too.

Realistically Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off of what he's seen on TV]]. Chris' perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, sense encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Talk:Chris and race

2010-01-09T18:51:27Z

SnorlaXBOX:

Good work, Tyranogre! I'll try to contribute to the page, soon, too --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 08:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)

Nice start. Easily can be added on to and everything. Just a thought, though: should we include others he's shown hate towards? Y'know, like the homos and anyone with asperger's/low-function autism/"anything that tries to take Chris's spotlight"? --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 08:55, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* If we do that, we might as well call this page "Chris and discrimination" or "Chris and tolerance" or something. Personally I'd like to have a quick list of all the groups he's offensive to in one place. [[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 08:59, 31 December 2009 (CET)
** Actually, I'm surprised we haven't done just that! Chris hasn't shown discrimination towards just one group, he's shown it to everyone everywhere! I don't think we should delete this, just rename it into "Chris and discrimination", like you said!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:05, 31 December 2009 (CET)
*** Sure, let's rename it. Of course, first we need to convince Champ to remove the deletion tag... [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 09:07, 31 December 2009 (CET)

== Why I'm nominating it for deletion ==

I can see ''some'' potential here but not much. Chris's dislike of blacks is just something trolls like to exaggerate - at best, Chris seems really uncomfortable around black people in the same way an upper class person would lock the car doors while going through the black neighborhood. It's not really racist, per say, that Chris doesn't like black chicks but I think the problem is that 1) he's not really in the position to be fussy about women, given who he is and 2) he's made it seem like that he would rather keep being a virgin than do a black girl (perhaps this question could be posed in the mailbag or the Common Questions). But he's not an outright racist. It's fun to suggest this to Chris because it irritates him, but really it's misleading to suggest he's some sort of closet KKK member. Bob on the other hand actually made a comment about Megan being a "dirty German girl" which is really old school racism but alas, we'll never have that call publicly.

Other races? You can really summarize it in one sentence - Chris's views of race come from TV and popular culture in general. Jews eat bagels and whine a lot, Asians are really good at math and karate, Native Americans do rain dances and say "How!", etc.

This article is trying to insinuate something about Chris that really isn't. I know we do this a lot but with race, it's really pushing it for its own article. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:09, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* Given his reaction toward black kids at Game Place, I'd ''definitely'' call him racist. --[[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 09:18, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* Okay, that's true. Though, as myself and a couple of others was saying above, I think this article should PROBABLY be retitled something like "Chris and discrimination" or "Chris and intolerance." and expanded on greatly. It's easy to see that Chris has shown hatred or dislike in a number of groups, not just blacks. And the sheer fact that Chris doesn't bother actually looking up stuff and, as you said, Chris just uses what he sees on TV and thinks that's how they actually act shows that he has no care for them and/or that he dislikes them because they go against what he is. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:25, 31 December 2009 (CET)
* Your points are valid. However, I think, this all may be fixed by renaming the page to "Chris and discrimination" or "Chris and tolerance" or "Chris and stereotypes". I agree that this article should encompass groups like Homos, Aspergers, Muslims, etc. And I agree that its main point should be moved from implying Chris's racism to just giving a quick overview of Chris's attitude towards various groups. So, my vote is: find a good new name, rename the article, and expand it to other groups. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 09:40, 31 December 2009 (CET)
*How about we rename this article "Chris and Minorities"? It can also be used for his views of others such as the Disabled. But I agree with you that he is not a Stormfront type of racist, he's more of a xenophobe. --[[User:AntonImausMk2|AntonImausMk2]] 00:30, 2 January 2010 (CET)
** I like this idea. There is much that can be said about Chris and minorities, but while Chris is racist, there's not enough material to write about to justify its own article. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 03:12, 2 January 2010 (CET)
* Chris said he "hates the Chinese" in [[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3.5]] and does an insensitive impression of all Asians. In [[Mumble 4]] he does an impression of all black people, saying that they sound like Rastafarians. I'm going to say that yes, he is racist, but not extremely racist. There probably isn't enough of it to make a good page out of, tho. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 01:51, 2 January 2010 (CET)

==Deletion Notice==
I am putting this page on my "To-Watch" file. I will delete it in a week if it doesn't improve. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:44, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Let's salvage anything usable (if there is anything) and add it to the [[Niggos]] article, then just leave this as a redirect. I don't think we're going to get enough material to make this worthwhile as a standalone page. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 04:53, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*I would rather move the Niggos article in to this one, and then have smaller subsections for other races. I agree that a lot of this article is exaggerated rubbish, but there's no denying that Chris is extraordinary awkward in his dealings with other cultures. We should cover his interactions with them, but in a more objective way. I would rather see a merge than a deletion. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 05:02, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*But is there really a lot we can say aside from "Chris's views of race come from popular culture"? As I said, Chris more or less absorbs what he sees from TV - thus Jews whine and eat bagels, Asians have buck teeth and say things like "Me so sowwy!," Indians no matter the tribe say "How!" and say things like "Smokum peace pipe!", etc. But does this really need its own article? The niggos article mostly serves as explaining the racism against African Americans, which does require some explaining since it comes up frequently. But I agree, we should salvage what we can if we can't make this into a full fledged article and incorporate it into the Niggos one.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:35, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
**Also, since when are you a moderator Griffintown? --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 05:03, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
***Since Champthom gave me the job. [[CWCki:Community Portal#Quality control jerkops|Here's the announcement]]. I read many people talking about what to do with pages while doing nothing. I strongly believe in deadlines to keep things going. Right now, this page sucks. Expanding the [[Niggo]] page would be a nice answer, adding new material for this page is also good. Let's find answers. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:56, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*I've begun moving some of the content from this page onto subsection "Chris and stereotypes" on the [[Niggos]] page, which should probably be retitled now. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 18:51, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

Niggos

2010-01-09T18:48:38Z

SnorlaXBOX: spelling

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup.]]

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Origin of the word "niggo"==
[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Chris doesn't trust them new niggers over there.]]
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggers'''."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying '''"niggos"''' instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal.

It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. [[BlueSpike]] pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will. So much for respecting the minorities.

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

=="No Darkies"==
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. (Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]]. This once more proves that Chris hates the white race.)

==Niggos in Chris's life==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

{{incomplete}}

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|left|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only one white guy and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[Random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]]. Chris also misattributes the origin of Kung-Fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same, and expresses dislike for the Chinese, as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic.

==I'm not racist==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

However, realistically Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one.

==Improved race relations?==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

==Niggos in the Comic==
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

===[[B-Manajerk]]===
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

===[[Barack Obama]]===
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a <strike>turban</strike> strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that <strike>so his fans wouldn't think he was unpatriotic</strike> because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

===[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu===
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides <strike>probably so that Chris would look less racist</strike> because he's a <strike>clone</strike> recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a <strike>white</strike> pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

===[[CADD Chef]]===
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===Other minority characters===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (Black)
*[[Jerkhief]] (Black)
*[[Silvana]] (Black)
*[[Turdijerk]] (Unclear, drawn with dark skin)
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian)
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Intended to be Native American)

==See also==
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

Niggos

2010-01-09T18:47:25Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup.]]

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Origin of the word "niggo"==
[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Chris doesn't trust them new niggers over there.]]
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggers'''."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying '''"niggos"''' instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal.

It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. [[BlueSpike]] pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will. So much for respecting the minorities.

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

=="No Darkies"==
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. (Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]]. This once more proves that Chris hates the white race.)

==Niggos in Chris's life==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

{{incomplete}}

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|left|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only one white guy and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[Random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]]. Chris also misattributes the origin of Kung-Fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same, and expresses dislike for the Chinese, as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokian Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophect]] into his comic.

==I'm not racist==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

However, realistically Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one.

==Improved race relations?==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

==Niggos in the Comic==
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

===[[B-Manajerk]]===
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

===[[Barack Obama]]===
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a <strike>turban</strike> strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that <strike>so his fans wouldn't think he was unpatriotic</strike> because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

===[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu===
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides <strike>probably so that Chris would look less racist</strike> because he's a <strike>clone</strike> recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a <strike>white</strike> pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

===[[CADD Chef]]===
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===Other minority characters===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (Black)
*[[Jerkhief]] (Black)
*[[Silvana]] (Black)
*[[Turdijerk]] (Unclear, drawn with dark skin)
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian)
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Intended to be Native American)

==See also==
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

Niggos

2010-01-09T18:46:51Z

SnorlaXBOX: Starting on merging "Chris and racism" content. Please retitle page "Chris and discrimination" or something.

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup.]]

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia.

==Origin of the word "niggo"==
[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Chris doesn't trust them new niggers over there.]]
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggers'''."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying '''"niggos"''' instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal.

It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. [[BlueSpike]] pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will. So much for respecting the minorities.

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

=="No Darkies"==
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. (Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]]. This once more proves that Chris hates the white race.)

==Niggos in Chris's life==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

{{incomplete}}

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|left|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only one white guy and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[Random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]]. Chris also misattributes the origin of Kung-Fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same, and expresses dislike for the Chinese, as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokian Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophect]] into his comic.

==I'm not racist==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

However, realistically Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one.

==Improved race relations?==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

==Niggos in the Comic==
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

===[[B-Manajerk]]===
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

===[[Barack Obama]]===
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a <strike>turban</strike> strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that <strike>so his fans wouldn't think he was unpatriotic</strike> because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

===[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu===
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides <strike>probably so that Chris would look less racist</strike> because he's a <strike>clone</strike> recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a <strike>white</strike> pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

===[[CADD Chef]]===
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===Other minority characters===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (Black)
*[[Jerkhief]] (Black)
*[[Silvana]] (Black)
*[[Turdijerk]] (Unclear, drawn with dark skin)
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian)
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Intended to be Native American)

==See also==
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

January 2010

2010-01-09T06:43:31Z

SnorlaXBOX: grammar/spelling

Fueled by a combination of fanmail and the victory over the hardcore gay ads on CWCipedia, [[Chris]] has started off 2010 in a rush of almost unrestrained smugness and arrogance. His only setback was the temporary closing of CWCipedia because of a trademark claim by The Coca-Cola Company and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, and after a short apology, that, too, was quickly forgotten. Thanks to the recent swelling in his feelings of self-importance, the most depraved side of his mind is on full display both in the Sonichu comics and in the mailbag.

So far the highlights in [[Sonichu 10]] have been: [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] committing a terrorist attack on The [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Tower, causing the building to collapse, killing 100 people and injuring another 150 in the process, the depiction of Rosechu shifting tampons and engaged in with bondage with Sonichu, and the staging and execution of a worldwide holocaust on homosexuality and asexuality. And yes, Chris [[Mailbag 32#Chris knows what's best for your kids|still considers Sonichu a comic for kids]].

Thanks to one of Chris's [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|answers from the mailbags]], we have confirmed that Chris, if given the possibility, would not hesitate to rob people of the freedom of thought just to make sure that there will be no homos in his perfect world.

==Events of January 2010==

* 1 January - Chris answers [[Mailbag 30]].
* 1 January - Chris inserts his own ads on every single [[CWCipedia]] mailbag page. He plugs Coca-cola, supports Proposition 8, supports a Pepsi boycott by [[Homos|anti-gay]] (and [[Sonichu 8|anti-porn]]) group The American Family Association, and James Cameron's ''Avatar'', which Chris ruins by thinking it has an [[Chris and reality|anti-gay message]].
* 1 January - Due to a trademark claim by The Coca-Cola Company , and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is now locked-up.
* 2 January - Chris uploads two short videos [[This was my fault|claiming responsibility for his actions]] for the <s>first</s> [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|second]] time in almost 28 years.
* 3 January - The dispute solved, the CWCipedia reopens.
* 4 January - Chris posts [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_28 two] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_29 new] pages.
* 4 January - Chris answers [[Mailbag 31]].
* 5 January - Chris's Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 32]] et [[Mailbag 33]].
* 5 January - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_30 Five] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_31 new] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_32 pages] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_33 of] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_34 Sonichu 10] and answers the [[Mailbag 32]].
* 6 January - Chris's Sysop uploads [[Mailbag 34]]
* 6 January - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_35 two] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_36 new] pages of [[Sonichu 10]].
* 6 January - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_37 two] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_38 new] pages of [[Sonichu 10]] and takes down the gay ad on the front page of CWCipedia again. However, now [[Asperchu]] ads have started to appear.
* 7 January - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_37 two] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_38 new] pages and taint "Family Man" forever. [[Mailbag 34]] is also answered.
* 7 January - Chris updates his [[CWC Blog#7 January 2010|blog]], saying that [[Chris and his ego|his birthday should be a holiday]]. He also mentions it in other areas of the [[CWCipedia]] mainpage.
* 7 January - The ads on Chris's site are replaced by ones for [[Asperchu]].
* 8 January - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_39 two] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 new] pages of his [[Sonichu 10|comic]], in which he punches a guy for talking shit, and cheats on his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]].
* 8 January - Chris answers [[Mailbag 35]].

{{protip|If you're adding new events, be sure to add them to [[:Template:Da update|da update]] or [[:Template:CWCipediaTracker|CWCipedia Tracker]] (for [[CWCipedia]] related updates) if they are not there already (and vice versa).}}

{{timeline}}

Talk:Chris and his ego

2010-01-09T06:22:29Z

SnorlaXBOX:

==To Do==

I know there is so much more we can do on Chris's ego. His ego knows no bounds and it has to be documented somehow. I kicked it off after someone put the page up, but there's more to be done. MUCH more. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 03:32, 26 November 2009 (CET)

Oh man. I feel that this dude probably put up the page after I recently mentioned it as an idea on Requested pages. Well, okay, I feel some kind of responsibility now... I'll try to contribute to it, when I have a bit more time. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 03:59, 26 November 2009 (CET)

:Chris has ego issues like a hardcore heroin addict has self-control issues. This page could end up being huge.
:Also, I kinda want to move it to "Chris and Egotism". I'm dumb like that. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:57, 26 November 2009 (CET)

We could start with his comics portayal, including the self-indulging fantasies he has with the infamous [[Sub-episodes]].

Okay, my two cents:
*How he thinks he's a celebrity;
*How he thinks every aspect of his life is of utter importance (just like us lol);
*How he thinks adding his name and CWCverse references to anything would actually improve its chances for success (case in point: Harvey Birdman ad);
*How he named his fictional town and every damn thing in it after his own initials;
*How he thinks the things he creates (not just the comics) are of much better quality than mere mortals do (case in point: fanart, and various contests he participated in);
*How he thought Kacey was attracted to THE TRUE AND HONEST CREATOR OF THE GODDAMN SONICHU, and not just to a funny guy who can play a mean guitar;
*How he can't let anyone be better than himself in anything (case in point: his reply to "Leonardo da Vinci" concerning [[inventions]]);
*How he still believes he has thousands of true and honest fans, and that all mail and fanart he gets is sent by his admirers, and hasn't got even a slight bit suspicious...
That's the ideas I've got for now. I'll try to put that down in a more coherent way maybe later maybe today. Well, if anyone else wants to do just that sooner, be my guest :) --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 05:18, 26 November 2009 (CET)

*If you're going to do this page, tread carefully. Stick to what Chris has actually said about himself and how great he is, and not just e-psychology about how he's narcissistic and the like. Your list thus far seems pretty good and reasonable but just adding this as a warning so it doesn't delve into e-psychology because really, if you want to hear some random faggots babbling on about why Chris is messed up, that's what PVCC and /cwc/ is for. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:45, 26 November 2009 (CET)

:*Of course, it would be only based on real examples. However, I thought it should be based not only on what Chris ''said'', but what he ''did'' also. Sometimes deeds speak louder than words. E.g., when he spent half of the Harvey "Dirdban" ad speaking about himself and Sonichu... because he actually thought it would make the ad ''more'' interesting, not ''less''! He didn't explicitly say "I am great", but his actions spoke pretty clearly. Oh well. I swear I'll get down to writing it, maybe today even --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:08, 26 November 2009 (CET)

Chris thinks we hate him because we're jealous of his artistic genius and him making Sonichu first, according to him in Mailbag 5. Normally, I'd rage at something like this, but knowing that Chris is entirely unaware of the depths of our hate is comforting. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 04:50, 29 November 2009 (CET)

This article is coming along great. However, if you finish Chris's references to his own ego in the comic and add an image for the intro to set the mood, then this could definitely be a featured article. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:40, 19 December 2009 (CET)

==New article idea==

Chris and Family Values

basically how he was raised and his idea and roles in a family

Yes/No?--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 07:28, 26 November 2009 (CET)
*Imo, it's a good idea. There would be a quick description of the messed-up Chandler family (you know, Cole Smithey, the things), Sonichu & Rosechu's family, Chris's thoughts on family life, etc. I would just suggest naming it "Chris and Family", for more easiness in use. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:08, 26 November 2009 (CET)

:*To be honest, I'm not really sure how much you can expand on this. There's some stuff about how Chris was disciplined as a child but it's not public yet, and one of the things Panda never released was the two of them playing house where Chris would role play how he would act as a father. If we had either, then we could definitely have an article but IMHO, at the moment, we could only say Bob and Barb don't give a fuck, that Chris would discipline Reginald for pissing in the ceiling, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:18, 27 November 2009 (CET)
::*I see what you mean, and probably you're right. The thing I was getting to, though, is: Chris wants to marry a girl asap, and give birth to a daughter (and maybe a son) asap, and at the same time ''doesn't have any idea what to do in a married life''. All he thinks of is sex, sex, sex, kids and adventures, and this encompasses all of his views on family. But okay, probably, it's still not enough for an article. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 13:26, 27 November 2009 (CET)

Thank of you guys for contributing things tot this long over-due article. I am going to work on it now. [[User: Jsks|Jsks]]

==Article renaming==
The article itself is starting to look pretty good, but I think the name kinda sucks. I know there's a "Chris and..." series but I really think this can be renamed "Chris's ego." Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:49, 30 November 2009 (CET)
:*Maybe "Chris's view of reality"?--[[User:CrassCrab|The Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 17:04, 2 December 2009 (CET)
::*We already have [[Chris and reality]] and that discusses Chris's losing grip on reality, which is related to his ego but still a broader subject. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:54, 2 December 2009 (CET)

==Quote==
I remember an audio file where he says something to the effect of "The reason I can't keep a job is that I'm just too good at so many things, like a jack of all trades." I think that would be a great quote to pull for this article.--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 00:02, 1 January 2010 (CET)
* LOL, looked it up. It's in [[Mumble 3]]. I'll hafta listen to it and pull it out. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:08, 1 January 2010 (CET)

==Merged Christian Love Day==
Any comments on this? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:11, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Good move. He seems to think he deserves an IRL holiday for what is equivalent to a mini-Holocaust, on the same day the Nazi Party was founded, and which happened ''only in his imagination.'' If that isn't massive egotism... --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 05:18, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*A "Fun" part to add when we will get his "insight" on this; The Nazi Death-Camps also "Processed" Homosexuals. The parallels are quite enlightening. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:29, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:**Ah, I feel a fanart coming on for that... AusCWCtz, anyone? --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 06:22, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:* Imagine the look on his face when/if someone tells him his birthday and Christian Love Day are the same day as the Nazi Party's founding! --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 05:36, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
::*Damn, where's Clyde and Jack when you need them... ;) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:43, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
::**Finally, someone else who understands my pain! Cash appears to be too busy making video remixes while Jack...at least he kind of did something useful shortly after CWCipedia reopened. Needs more emails supporting Asperchu before he'll be able to tard rage about it in his latest video. Then I can call Jack's latest move to advertise Asperchu yet another awesome blow. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 06:02, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

==Merged Chris and Fame==
Parts of the entry of Chris and Fame was added as an opening for the text. Any comments? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:10, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
*Awesome job cleaning up and merging. I'm glad to see something's being done to relieve the bloat of "Chris and" pages. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 06:22, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and his ego

2010-01-09T05:18:40Z

SnorlaXBOX:

Talk:Chris and race

2010-01-09T04:53:46Z

SnorlaXBOX:

Chris and race

2010-01-09T04:29:19Z

SnorlaXBOX:

{{deletion}}
{{incomplete}}

Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of Chris's worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, he seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==Blacks==
{{main|Niggos}}
Chris's hatred of African Americans dates back to at least the early days of his [[Love Quest]], where he specifically listed "blacks" under people who he would not be interested in dating.

==Asians==
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays Punchy as a Kung-Fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian.
On another note, Chris thinks that Japan is famous for Kung-Fu, when in reality, Kung-Fu originated in [[China]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}

As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture.

==Jews==
{{main|Christmas}}

In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate Hannukah. On December 12 members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when Sonichu's daughter Cerah Rosey baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift!

The interesting moment is that there actually is a tradition of eating specially baked foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Manajerks

2010-01-09T04:27:04Z

SnorlaXBOX:

'''Manajerks''' (a portmanteau of "manager" and "jerk") are villains featured in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]] and [[Sonichu 4|4]]. Residing in the [[Fashion Square Mall|Sho-Mall]], [[Mal-Wart]], and [[Get-Tar Region|Get-Tar]] Regions, they seek to frustrate [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] [[Love Quest|efforts]] to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] within their respective territories.

==Manajerks in Real Life==
[[Image: Bobbythebrain.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Example of a Real Life Manajerk.]]

Real-Life Manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers", are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a patron who loiters in the workplace, purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be unwilling to shower and had numbers of pairs of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|dirty crapped briefs]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] expressing his desire for intimate relations with Caucasian women, it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron crude and bizarre. In situations like these, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes unresponsive or difficult, the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkops|proper authorities]] to have him escorted (forcibly, if need be) from the premises.

==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''==

[[Image:Manajerks.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Fictional Manajerks.]]
In the pages of ''Sonichu'', Manajerks, like [[Jerkops]], college deans, [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are big tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing video games, building crude sculptures with Pixelblocks, and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil Manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the Manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local GameStop), which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the Manajerks and Jerkops as operatives of the same Chris-hating [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the Manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-virgin, anti-autistic, etc.

===ScotPalazzo===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

Possibly the first Manajerk Chris had encountered, [[ScotPalazzo]] was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region in [[Sonichu 4]]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until Sub-Episode 6, when he expressed envy Chris for his made-up TV show "CWC's Backyard Safari". Scot was clearly redesigned to resemble Lord Il Palazzo from ''Excel-Saga'', and depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love for his mother's murder-suicide.

===B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, and W-M-Manajerk===

Banished from the Fashion Square Mall, Chris resumed his Love Quest at the local Wal-Mart, until the management there called the police and had him tossed out. The incident was dramatized in Sub-Episodes 4 and 5, now set in "M-C-D-Ville of the "Mal-Wart Region", and the three Manajerks re-imagined as bumbling fools with powerful cybernetic bodies. [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], collectively known as the McDuo, attacked Chris first, and after they were defeated, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] stepped in to finish the job. [[Image:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Manajerks of the Get-Tar Region]] With help from [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]], Chris emerged victorious, and discovered that all three Manajerks were in the service of Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC.

===Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)===
Subepisode 7 detailed Chris's attempts to make a fresh start in the local Target store, which had just opened in his area. Paying a single dollar, he would receive a soda at their snack bar, which he would refill over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store. The incident was dramatized by Chris in Sub-Episodes 7 and 8, entitled "Off-Target". Ironically, by changing the name of the location to "The Get-Tar Region", Chris undermined the supposed cleverness of his title.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until [[Sonichu 7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. "Turdijerk" seems especially juvenile, even for Chris, while "Trebor Capman" might actually be "Robert" Capman, given his love for reversing names. "Turdijerk" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent, showing once again that [[Chris and racism|Chris sucks at tolerance]].

==The Future==
By the time [[Megan Schroeder]] came into his life, Chris had abandoned the classic tactics of his Love Quest, disavowing the [[Attraction Sign]] as "stupid" in [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]]. This may be a "chicken-or-the-egg" situation, however. By [[2006]], Chris had most likely been banned from his usual haunts, and may have abandoned his sign because he had nowhere else to display it. Since attracting the attention of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Chris has shifted his focus to the internet for fame and [[China]]. And while his search for both have been in vain, he has at least failed to incur the wrath of a Manajerk capable of kicking him off the Internet for good. And so, IRL-based villains like the Manajerks appear to have been phased out in favor of [[troll]]-inspired characters like [[Blanca]], [[Robert Simmons V]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], and [[Clyde Cash]].

==See also:==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square/Sho-Mall Region]]
*[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]]
*[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]]
*[[Target|Get-Tar Region]]
*[[:Category:Fan art|Fan art]] Galleries dedicated to: [[:Category:ScotPalazzo|ScotPalazzo]], [[:Category:B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]], [[:Category:Merried Seinor Comic|Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby]], [[:Category:W-M-Manajerk|W-M-Manajerk]], [[:Category:Turdijerk|Turdijerk]], [[:Category:Trebor Capman|Trebor Capman (Accomplice)]], and [[:Category:Manajerks|Manajerks]] in general.

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Characters]][[Category: Villains]][[Category: Manajerks]][[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

File:DPVPage3.png

2010-01-09T00:23:47Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" Page 3 Category:Mary Lee Walsh Category:Naitsirhc Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)

"A Different Point of View" Page 3

[[Category:Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category:Naitsirhc]]
[[Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)]]

User:SnorlaXBOX

2010-01-08T06:50:32Z

SnorlaXBOX:

{{quote|SnorlaXBOX si a pretty cool guy. eh makes art and doesn't afraid of anything.|[[User:Champthom|Champthom]]}}

{{Americunt}}
{{Artfag}}

Providing CWCki with delicious fanart since 26 December.

<gallery>
Image:Picklereldnahc.jpg|Chris loves Naitsirhc's pickle.
Image:Comicbook-Sign.png|Attraction sign (artist's impression).
Image:Chris-CatBurp.PNG|Y'know, burping after sex is totally not as cool as having a [[Tobacky|smoke]]... ohwait.
Image:Chris-IAmRandomHousecoat.PNG|That poor computer.
Image:Chris-ThisIsMyDildo.PNG|Enjoy your nightmares.
Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|IT'S A TRAP
Image:ComeToMeSpell.jpg|Thank [[GodJesus]] the internet doesn't have scratch-n'-sniff.
Image:HotelRickyRicardo.jpg|They hav draemcast
</gallery>

If you want something drawn for the CWCki, or if you want something written, hit me up on my [[User_talk:SnorlaXBOX|talk page]].

[[Fan:A_Different_Point_of_View|A Different Point of View]], my "fan" comic. Updates whenever I get the time.

[[Category:List_of_CWCkipedians_who_are_Americunts]]
[[Category:List_of_Artist_Commune_artfags]]

User:SnorlaXBOX/SandBOX

2010-01-08T06:48:48Z

SnorlaXBOX: Replaced content with ''''A Different Point of View''' has moved to its own page, if you came here looking for that. Otherwise, there's nothing to see here at the…'

'''[[Fan:A Different Point of View|A Different Point of View]]''' has moved to its own page, if you came here looking for that.

Otherwise, there's nothing to see here at the moment.

User:SnorlaXBOX/SandBOX

2010-01-08T03:52:44Z

SnorlaXBOX:

'''''A Different Point of View''''' (title pending) is a [[Fan:Index|fancomic]] dealing with the repercussions of the [[Chris-chan]] saga in the context of the real world. It includes satirical and surrealist elements as well as a serious and straightforward look at a man we're all too familiar with.

= Plot =

[[Mary Lee Walsh]], a popular and well-established dean of a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]], receives a report from a student regarding a strange male student soliciting with a crudely-made poster. Concerned, Mary calls her close friend [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Nate Reldniak]] and describes the man. Nate, a former [[Fashion Square Mall|Abercrombie]] employee, connects her description to a similar loiterer who used to hang around the store.

They agree to visit the mall together on the weekend, where they arrive just in time to rescue an innocent girl from the [[Red String of Fate]]. Nate calls security and escorts the girl to safety, while Mary confronts the man. Chris calls her a witch and attempts to [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] her, but security handcuffs him and leads him out of the building.

Nate and Mary return to Nate's home, where they research Chris and find his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. Mary insists he deserves the page's caustic tone and abundance of [[Honest Content|intimate details]], while Nate finds himself troubled by his findings. He struggles with the choice between [[White knight|letting his conscience guide him]] or doing society a favor and trying to get Chris locked up. Nate's [[Homos|partner]] [[Jerkhief|George]] is of the latter opinion.

Mary conducts further research and learns that [[Chris's Big Night Out|some people are planning to take Chris to a bar]]. She firmly insists that Nate comes with her. In turn, George also insists on accompanying them, despite Nate's [[Chris and racism|concerns]].

(To be continued--I don't want to spoil the whole thing)

= Character List =

== [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ==

Portrayed here as a deluded, doughy man-child with [[Chris and reality|little ability to distinguish fantasy from reality]]. Here, he is most similar to his 2004-2005 state, with the [[Attraction Sign]] and Red String still intact and in use. His history combines elements from different eras (e.g. mixing the [[Love Quest]] era with the late 2007 ED page and the late 2009/early 2010 bizarre [[Sonichu 10|hate speech]]), but his overall characterization is kept fairly close to that of the real person.

== [[Mary Lee Walsh]] ==

A headstrong woman who tolerates zero bullshit. She is the most aggressive about pursuing Chris and preventing him from bothering or harming her students. She believes Chris brings all of his problems upon himself. She's organized and dedicated, but has a terribly short fuse. Nate was one of her students when she first came to PVCC, and the two are old friends.

== [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Nate Reldniak]] ==

The antithesis of Chris. Nate is [[Obesity|a ripped ex-Abercrombie employee]] in a [[Virgin with rage|stable relationship]] with his [[Niggos|black]] [[Jerkop|policeman]] [[Homos|partner]], George. [[Chris and remorse|Kind-hearted]] and [[Chris and his ego|altruistic]], Nate has many [[Gal-pals]], including Mary Lee Walsh. He has [[Chris and anger|an even temper]] and handles verbal conflict [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|in a mature way.]] Despite his utter revulsion for Chris and his prejudices, he feels a great deal of [[White knight|pity]] at the same time, and troll's remorse hampers his ability to choose sides.

== [[Jerkhief|George Greene]] ==

A cop who serves as a voice of reason. He mediates between Mary's aggressive approach and Nate's indecisiveness. However, he won't sit idly by as Chris--or anyone--spouts hate speech. He's firmly grounded in the law and [[Chris and the Law|unlike Chris, is well versed in the specifics of it]]. Though he's good at working through conflicts, he tends to take things too seriously and is a bit high-strung.

= The Comic =

A CWCki exclusive!

<gallery>
Image:DPVPage1.png|Page 1: The Attraction Sign.
Image:DPVPage2.png|Page 2: Calling Nate about Chris.
</gallery>

(Note: This page will be relocated to the Fan category after I upload the first five comic pages.)

File:DPVPage2.png

2010-01-08T03:51:44Z

SnorlaXBOX: "A Different Point of View" page 2. Category:Mary Lee Walsh Category:Naitsirhc

"A Different Point of View" page 2.

[[Category:Mary Lee Walsh]]
[[Category:Naitsirhc]]

Pokémon

2010-01-07T05:08:58Z

SnorlaXBOX:

[[Image:Satoshi tajiri.jpg|thumb|[[Aspergers|Aspie]] creator of the series, Satoshi Tajiri. Unlike Chris, he actually did something with his life.]]

'''''Pokémon''''' is one of [[Nintendo]]'s greatest creations, a Japanese cultural phenomenon that is beloved by children around the world, and a billion dollar multimedia franchise encompassing [[video games]], [[card games]], toys, an [[anime]] series, and much, much more.

Yet it only took [[Christian Weston Chandler|one autistic manchild]] to forever ruin it for an entire generation.

==Chris-chan in the Pokémon world==
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|[[Barbara Chandler|A wild SNORLAX appears!]]]]

Chris, according to the [[Sonichu]] article in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu CWCipedia], sees himself as an official Pokémon gym leader. He claims to have all 387 Pokémon leveled-up to level 100 on his ''Pokémon Diamond'' game, all of them being trained without any kind of cheating or rare candies. It's not certain whether this is truth or more of his [[autistic]] imagination. However, given the fact he owns [[List of Chris's games|every Pokémon game]] and game system, in addition to the fact he has no life at all, it may very well be true. Who knows? All it takes is a load of time, and Lord knows Chris's time isn't going to anything good.

It should be noted that the Generation IV games such as ''Diamond'', ''Pearl'', ''Platinum'', ''HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'' feature 493 Pokémon, something that should be common knowledge to anyone claiming to have achieved what Chris has, make his "collection" far from complete. However, #387 is originally the Pokédex number Christian had used for Sonichu, following after Deoxys, the last Pokémon in the series at the time of Sonichu's inception. It is possible that Christian ''refuses to accept all Pokémon in ''Diamond''/''Pearl'' as canon'' in order to keep with his established idea of Sonichu being #387. This is further fueled by the fact that none of the Pokémon from ''Diamond''/''Pearl'' ever appear in the Sonichu comics. This, however, contradicts his previous statement.

TL;DR - He's a fucking deluded moron.

As the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon Gym, Chris has as a team:
:* [[Sonichu]], a [[Fail]]
:* [[Anime|Inuyasha]], a [[Wikipedia:Blaziken|Blaziken]]
:* [[Gregg Mays|Greg]], a [[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]
:* [[Chris and his Ego|Christina]], a [[Wikipedia:Sceptile|Sceptile]]
:* [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]], a [[Wikipedia:Gardevoir|Gardevoir]]
:* [[Random-access humor|Bagoner]], a [[Wikipedia:Salamence|Salamence]]

==Pokémon appearing in ''Sonichu'' comics==
[[Image:Zapdos.jpg|thumb|Zapdos is not amused with Chris's faggotry.]]

* [[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]] - Transformed into [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]. Despite the importance to Sonichu lore, this is basically the only time a Pikachu appears or is mentioned in the comic. From this point on, it's all just shitty recolors of Chris' original shitty recolor.
* [[Wikipedia:Raichu|Raichu]] - Transformed into [[Rosechu]] by the [[Rainbow]], in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]
* [[WIkipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] - One of [[Kel]]'s other Pokémon, named [[David the Dragonite|David]]. In [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]], Kel offered his sexual services to Rosechu.
* [[Wikipedia:Zapdos|Zapdos]] - Used by [[Naitsirhc]] to kidnap Rosechu and battle Sonichu in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]
* [[Wikipedia:Raikou|Raikou]] - Used by [[Naitsirhc]] as a getaway ride in [[Sonichu 0|the same episode]].
* [[Wikipedia:Venusaur|Venusaur]] - [[Wild Sonichu]]'s adoptive mother from [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]].
* [[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]] - Wild Sonichu's adoptive father from [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]].
* [[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]] - [[Bubbles Rosechu]]'s adoptive mother from [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]].
* [[Wikipedia:Wailord|Wailord]] - [[Boulder-Dropping Whale|Dropped a boulder]] on the Swampert in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]], forcing Bubbles to evolve.
* [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] - Mentored [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. Taught him to be an [[Stress Sigh|emofag]] in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]].
* [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] - Chris compared the [[Jerkhief]]'s weight to this half-ton Pokémon in [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]]
* [[Wikipedia:Jigglypuff|Jigglypuff]] - served as inspiration for [[Jiggliami]], an "original" character created by [[Blanca]]. Appeared in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]
* [[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Mudkip|Mudkip]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Seadra|Seadra]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Corsola|Corsola]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Octillery|Octillery]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Mantine|Mantine]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Corphish|Corphish]] - Appeared in underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
* [[Wikipedia:Flaaffy|Flaaffy]] - Appears as [[Layla Flaaffy]] in [[Sonichu 9| Sonichu #9]].
* [[Wikipedia:Sneasel|Sneasel]] - Appears as [[Reginald Sneasel]] in [[Sonichu 9| Sonichu #9]].
* [[Wikipedia:Nidoking|Nidoking]] - Used by [[Naitsirhc]] to battle [[Bionic]] in [[Sonichu 9| Sonichu #9]].

Theoretically all of the [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] are Pokemon as well, but there's very little to support this theory. None of them rely on trainers, and in fact as far as can be seen they're essentially treated as "human" in CWCville. <s>As [[Sonee]]s and [[Rosey]]s they only speak their name (traditional of Pokemon)</s> (they can speak perfect english and textwalls, as seen in issue 11, unlike the chaotic combo), and they hatch from eggs and "evolve" into their adult forms, but the similarities end there. For one, [[BlazeBob Sonichu|only]] [[Chloe Rosechu|two]] of them have ever been put into a Pokeball. The closest they get before then is a bizarre inversion when [[Wild Sonichu]] puts two of the [[Sonichu Balls]] (which look like Pokeballs) into his arms. Also, as individual species' Pokemon don't have the vast varieties of powers and appearances that Sonichus and Rosechus have. Finally, Pokemon can only know 4 moves at a time, whereas Sonichu and company seem to simply have whatever abilities would be convenient at any given moment. (However, to be fair to Chris, the ''Pokemon'' cartoon does not follow this rule when it comes to Pokemon (or if it does, it's never explicitly mentioned); in fact, many conventions from the game are discarded by the Cartoon, and these same conventions are seen to be ignored in the Sonichu comics. For example, Pokemon having a weakness or resistance to certain kinds of attacks are less a rule than a guideline in the cartoon, where an Electric attack can not only harm a Ground type, but defeat it in a single attack. Similarly, Sonichu can use Sky Uppercut, a fighting attack, against Zapdos, a flying type, and not have to worry about the attack not being effective.)

==See also==
*[[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|Pokémon TCG]]
*[[CWC's Pokésite 2]]
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]

[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

Chris and art

2010-01-07T05:04:03Z

SnorlaXBOX: added a few Wikipedia links

[[Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|Chris's first known drawing from when he was 15.]]

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion.]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, [[Chris]]'s selling point. From the very day "[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]" found out about Chris and his creation of Sonichu to today, many people have been drawn (no pun intended) to Chris because of his infamous work. To this day, many people wish to see more of it and will go to [[Ivy|extreme]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|measures]] to get him to work more.

When faced with Chris, most people will undoubtedly ask, "is there any field of endeavor that he doesn't completely suck? Is there any field where he has shown any improvement at all?" One could argue that he ''has'', in fact, got slightly better over the years. There's no question about it; the early ''Sonichu'' comics are noticeably worse than the newer ones. However, we must remember that he wasn't any good to begin with and has barely gotten any better in spite of years of practice. Chris's drawings still remain disproportionate, child-like, unimaginative and ''hilarious''. [[GodJesus]] bless his little autistic heart.

==Chris and the medium==
tl;dr: Chris is an anti-artist.

=== Exercise of skills and improvement in craft ===
Since Chris first started drawing, his artwork has been abysmal. While it may have improved since the day he first drew Sonic the Hedgehog, there's still considerable room for improvement. Sad to say, Chris refuses to improve, thinking that what he's doing now is the shit.

As Chuck Jones said, everyone's got a hundred thousand bad drawings in them. Chris is just too lazy to get them out. Chris fails to understand that even great artists don't get every stroke down on the paper perfectly; he just scribbles down something and thinks that is the best thing he can ever do. Many beginning artists notice immediately that they can't draw worth a damn, and spend quite a lot of time erasing and redrawing. This is perfectly normal. Where Chris fails is not stopping and asking "does this look good?" If the answer is "no," the obvious solution is to keep trying. In Chris's mind, the answer is always "yes."

Chris does not appear to draw much outside of the comic pages themselves. He almost never shows any pencil sketches (and those only when trolls whip him into releasing them), and never any practice drawings, master copies, anatomy studies, speed sketches, class exercises, scribbles on napkins from restaurants, or anything of that sort; it is easy to question whether or not he does any of the latter sorts at all. When he tried to prove his real identity, he just showed drawings that everyone had seen before, some of which were several ''years'' old. Most amateur or professional artists, if put into that situation, would probably flip open their sketchbook and show new stuff they'd just drawn an hour ago. He appears to do at least some pencil sketches before drawing the comic (the hasty release of [[Sonichu 9]] also proves that), but judging from his [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|tutorial video]], he doesn't ink the pencilings, he just re-draws everything hastily.

He revealed in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2 a response to an email dated 21 November 2009] that he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it, "sometimes longer depending on the thought process" (whatever that means). In other words, he invests only a ''fraction'' of the time most serious artists put into their work, and it shows. He even offers patently terrible advice to a fan in [[Mailbag 16]], recommending they focus on drawing foreground characters before doing any kind of background. For most comic artists some minimal background is drawn first so the artist can have some sense of dimension, then foreground and background images are refined simultaneously. Of course, most comic artists don't work with ballpoint pens and crayola markers...

Ultimately, Chris will never improve because he doesn't actually ''care'' about his art or his comics. He's not interested in creating art for art's sake, and he doesn't care about the story. Like with his [[Sonichu Chronicles|videogame ideas]], he considers any idea he comes up with just as valid as anything he actually commits to paper. He only started publicizing his work as a horribly misguided attempt to attract [[boyfriend-free girl|women]], and he only continues to work on it because he's convinced he has a large fanbase that's demanding it. And he only cares about ''that'' because he thinks that some of his fans are women who might [[china|reward him]] for his skills.

=== Comic writing and structure ===
{{main|Chris and writing}}

Chris has major problems keeping the story together: the comic is not scripted at all, and he keeps adding details that he doesn't properly explain later in the story. As far as comic structure goes, he also has problems with textwalling and keeping the speech bubbles in comprehensible order.

=== Choices of materials and technology ===
While it's true that buying fancy pens won't make you a great artist, they certainly help. Chris doesn't believe in decent-quality media. Cheap paper, cheap pens, Crayola Fucking Magic Markers — serious artists would invest a little bit more of thought on these issues as well. Good art pencils do not cost that much more than crappy ones, and are available at wide range of blackness. The lowest-quality papers tend to crinkle ([[Wedding Comic|even before you stick it in a scanner]]) and turn yellow really fast, while even the typical photocopy/laser printer paper avoids that fate. Chris also pinches pennies in altogether wrong way by partaking in [[Chris and writing#Textwalls and unreadable bubble layouts|rampant textwalling]] to "save marker ink"<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>; while great modern artists have occasionally made poignant art by consciously ''not'' expending material, most artists probably prefer to use art supplies for their intended purpose. (''Duh.'')

As seen in CWC - Hand Drawn Original, his sketching set is something no adult would be caught using professionally, and he doesn't even use the most basic of drawing desks or surfaces. His creations come to life via a toy-like sketching kit from [[Wikipedia:Spin Master|Spin Master]] called [http://www.amazon.com/Strawberry-Shortcake-Reflecta-Sketch-Set/dp/B00144QMOY Reflecta Sketch] (shockingly, not the Strawberry Shortcake kit seen in the link; it's assumed the product bombed and he was one of the few who bought it, thus the lack of a product page from Spin Master), which only allows him to trace on basic letter-sized copy paper, not the large sketching paper most professional artists use. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline, allowing Chris the ease of copying other artists' works to use in his general and [[Rule 34]] artwork.

Of course, considering where Chris prioritizes what he gets from his [[monthly tugboat]] (i.e., [[sex toys]], [[My Little Pony]]s and [[video games|vidya games]]), it's no wonder that a man who buys all his [[Chris and fashion|clothing]] from a Salvation Army that's apparently run by clowns would never invest in art supplies that weren't intended for a third-grader.

The less we say about Chris's use of computers in putting the final touches in his comics, the better. ''He uses Comic Sans, for crying out loud'', the worst [http://bancomicsans.com/ typographical blasphemy possible] for professional artists, horrendously angry artists who will [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 make you taste the curb]. Just download something from [http://www.dafont.com/theme.php?cat=102 here], man. Chris appears to have some version of Photoshop at his disposal (as seen in the "Spiderman-fucking Clyde" saga), but as everyone can tell from the results, either he doesn't know how to use it, or he uses Photoshop in a way that no one can tell it from the results. (Obviously, the latter is how Photoshop ''should'' be used, but hell, the people who came up with that truism probably didn't have Sonichu comic in mind.)

=== Drawing techniques ===
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen.

Even worse, he doesn't have a working drawing process. Well prepared is half done, and most artists spend most of the time in the preparation phase: sketches, sketches, sketches. On the other hand, Chris seems to focus on what is admittedly the most taxing part of drawing: coloring and putting in the final little details. As said above, Chris hastily sketches something or draws outlines, then colors the drawing. The whole ''point'' of pencil sketches is that you know beforehand where the ink goes; the idea is to make sure your drawing looks ''right'' before you make hard-to-repair mistakes. The whole process of refining the work and whittling out imperfections one by one until you're satisfied with the result is probably something that would cause too much [[stress]]. Also, Chris is incapable of drawing simple straight lines or even coloring within his lines 100% of the time.

=== Visual style and anatomy ===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]

Before the comics, Chris at least attempted a style approaching realism for "paintings" (actually, on close examination, most are crayon drawings filled in to a ridiculously thorough degree). Most of the results are buried deep in the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and are about as good as you'd imagine: the anatomy is questionable at best, and rarely consistent. Notably, his glasses are drawn as gi-normous goggles, and appear to be the same frames he wears today. Around the time he got into Pokémon, he started moving from pseudo-realistic into a style the Internet would be much more familiar with.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, in that all the characters had round heads and comparatively small eyes. One trait that has persisted over years is the way he draws smiles (and oh boy, do his characters smile a lot): A smiling mouth that consists of a curved line with two tiny curved lines on the ends. Most children draw smiles this way, but there always will be a day when the kindergarten or 1st-grade school teacher says that this is just ''not'' how people draw smiles in the real world. Nowadays, though, Chris is more eager to draw only half of the smiles, which looks a little bit less creepily manchild-like.

Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]], as well as manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his then-current [[gal-pal]], [[Megan Schroeder]]. As like many amateur western artists who ape the style without attempting to adapt it, he simply uses the clichés of "anime style": big eyes, speed lines, panty shots and many of the cheesier conventions, along with heads shaped like pentagons. There is no attempt to incorporate, fuse or otherwise adopt manga elements in a creative and original manner; these art elements are simply layered on top of his original "style" with no adjustment. Chris is no [[Wikipedia:Go Nagai|Go Nagai]], nor has he probably even heard of him.

However, Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples. This volume had images of couples in bed making love. Naturally the degree of the scenes isn't that extreme, but the fact that it's in there lends to the explanation as to why Chris might have purchased the book. Whether or not Chris bought it simply to better draw out his delusional fantasies or simply for more material to gawk at during [[Mass debating]] isn't known. Either way, some fucking job the book has done for him as his works are still horrendous mockeries of what cartooning stands for, Western and Eastern styles alike.

Tying in with this, Chris shows no interest in proportion or even basic anatomy. The manga style allows for some artistic license when drawing human beings, but after seeing what Chris does with anatomy, or rather doesn't, it's clear to see his license needs to be revoked. He draws characters as colored-in outlines, and as a result they have no appreciable anatomy or proportion. All his characters are made of lumpy, sexless shapes with crude genitalia attached. For someone who's supposedly a porno connoisseur, Chris doesn't seem to notice there are sexual characteristics that make women attractive beyond boobs, china, and ass; if he does, he's doing a predictably terrible job depicting them. Note the porn Chris rips off, and how he mimics the basic shape of each picture while getting the anatomy (wonky as most of them are) disturbingly out of whack.

When Sonichu is drawn by Chris speeding towards a rescue, he doesn't look like he's rushing to save the day Sonic-style, but instead has the proportions of those over-exaggerated steamroller men that are the hallmark of circa 1960's Yellow Page ads for construction companies. It's easy to see that Chris is copying the original style of Sonic's running based off the old DiC-produced cartoons and the early comics (which Sonic was depicted running in a cartoon-like, spinning-wheel manner), his lack of proportion and lazy manner in which he refuses to show bending legs give the illusion of Sonichu becoming a steamroller.

What's worse is that even though his characters are simple shapes, they aren't even consistent simple shapes. From one drawing to the next, Chris draws his characters (even himself) differently. Limbs change shape, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by color scheme that we can guess which character is which. If he were even to practice in the ''slightest'' degree, anatomy and character design would be more consistent. Beyond his differently-colored eyes and Sonichu medallion, no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely like the actual Chris, although [[Sammy]] comes somewhat closer.

An interesting thing to note is that, if a character is part of the background (and sometimes, even if they aren't), Chris will draw that character either one of two ways: as a simple white silhouette or as a stick figure. The silhouette drawing was a nuance that Chris picked up after watching the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', while the stick figure idea was picked up through ''[[South Park]]''. Interestingly, [[wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]] has also used this shorthand, and, as his many "admirers" will point out, it's one of the laziest shortcuts ever, not to mention blatantly obvious in a medium that ''isn't animated.''

Chris's use of color is rather staggering, and it's hard to begin describing it. Because he colors everything with markers, he uses a lot of flat, basic colours, often as bright as possible. He often doesn't even try finding natural shades of things, or sometimes even shades that would fit in the drawings at all. This is the prime reason why his drawings look so childish.

=== Character Design ===
As stated throughout this article, despite Chris's colorful cast of characters, many of them ripoff designs from existing characters, with Chris making no effort whatsoever to disguise them. His [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] tend to follow the same Sonic-type anthropomorphic look: slick backed quills, shoes and gloves. [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]], however, vary. Rosechu herself follows Amy Rose's look; [[Bubbles]], [[Simonla]] and [[Angelica]] follow the SatAM Sonic series and Archie comic series' [[Women's Rights|a lack of clothing]] (e.g., Sally Acorn); and [[Zapina]] is the only one with an original look.

This design failure goes beyond his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and extends to his humans as well, especially those connected to him. Most of the time, he'll either disguise their faces with a hood or lift designs from characters from other series. [[Bagget]] and [[ScotPalazzo]] were pulled from characters from ''Excel Saga''. Whenever Chris needed designs for his e-sweethearts' families, he really went off the deep end: [[Officer Keino]], Ivy's father, had his design cribbed off Coach McGuick of ''Home Movies'' and the father and sister of Kacey were ripped off from Guile from ''Street Fighter'' and Candice from ''Pokémon''.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing and Chris himself wears his usual clown shirts and pants. With the sole exception of [[Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes, probably inspired by the fact that most elder animated female characters tend to wear those types of shoes where ever they go.

== Chris and the industry ==
In the [[Sonichu Chronicles]] and [[Chris's resume]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as Archie Comics or Marvel, creating his Sonichu comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

It has been demonstrated again and again that Chris has little concept of how the creative industries work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work. The publishing industry does not want or seek résumés; they make publishing contracts on completed manuscripts and works that have been submitted to them. Comic publishers don't employ artists unless they have a portfolio of work, and top-notch publishers probably want actual previous publication credits before they let the artists mess with their priceless properties on their dime. Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels, and the thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris is an asshole|resisted attempts to educate him]] in this regard.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris' current skill at art).

==Originality==
He has none. Let's leave it at that.

==Plagiarism and stealing==
: ''See also: [[Chris and copyright]]''

From the day Chris drew his Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine, it's easy to see that Chris copies what he sees. This easily started with his drawings of Sonic, Mega Man X and the like on there, but it really spiraled out of control with the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu. It's easy to see that, whenever Chris needs an awesome pose or something for a character, he'll usually fall back on what he's seen. This usually means that he'll take a piece of artwork and change it to his own needs. For example, Rosechu's nudes in [[Sonichu 8|Episode 17]] are actually tracings of Sonic, Transformers and ''[[Family Guy]]'' porn, as seen below.

Even more so, Chris isn't above stealing and even altering others' work just to make it his own. Sonichu's easily a given, but it's really evident when he steals from his TRUE and HONEST [[fans]] and [[sweethearts]]. [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]] and [[Layla]] were taken from, respectively, [[Megan]], [[Blanca]] and [[Ivy]] after they abandoned him. The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] was created when Chris took a character [[Evan]] created, Simonchu, and slapped breasts and a china on it. Chris frequently didn't credit original artists when posting fan art to [[deviantART]], and the current [[CWCipedia]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Good_Fan_Art fan art page] has no credits whatsoever, apart of a brief mention of [[PandaHalo]]. Yet, in the not-so-unlikely opposite case, if one were to steal Sonichu, there'd be hell to pay.

==Rule 34==
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's creations believe that his [[Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
As Chris has no shame, neither do his pictures. Many of his drawings have been outright explicit and caused quite a stir with people. Of these pictures, the most damning one of all is the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]]. It's these artworks that provoked him to up the age on all of his Sonichus and Rosechus so they can be true, loving couples without any of that messy pedofork undertones.

Still doesn't work, as one of his recent pieces of art ended up getting him tossed out of DeviantArt. Again.

The pictures below are a group of Rule 34s Chris drew for Sonichu 8. As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[Chris and sex|sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, leading it to have a "glowing" effect.

While all the following images are obviously (bad) Reflecta Sketch tracings of Rule 34 pictures that Chris himself loaded on to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Encycapeeya Dramakka Paysh]], it's not clear whether or not all his other porn drawings are also tracings. It's likely that they are, and the source material Chris stole those from is just not as blatantly obvious.

=== Rule 34 (tracing) gallery ===

<center><gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery></center>

== Sauces ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Sonichu 10

2010-01-07T04:28:39Z

SnorlaXBOX: grammar nazism is fun

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

[[Sonichu 10]] is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed.

In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "time void" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu 9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on Sonichu and Rosechu. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

Another continuity error in the comic is that Chris is wearing an orange shirt, even though he was wearing the classic red and blue-striped shirt when he entered the Time Void.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named Lovely Weather. Chris then goes on to reveal that he tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self, and then fucked his future wife while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for homosexuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his PS3, [[Guitar Hero]] and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other 5 Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at 4-Cent Garbage's HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells Blake and Punchy to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil Trolls emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed [[Brutal Legend]], though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to Teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (Why?!), erects a barrier around the building and blows it up! He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation.

Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a [[PlayStation 3]] to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of LittleBigPlanet for Wii or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his Guitar Hero guitar. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong.

With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power.

Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions).

Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl "Jimmy!!" Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something.

Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two Sonichus fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, [[Son-Chu]], Sonichu, [[Blake]] and Wild arrive. As they set up their [[Guitar Hero]] gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too drunk to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. A memorial would be put up in the ruins and Encyclopedia Dramatica and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to the [[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon, Rosechu and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard.]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]].

===Reaction===

As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]