CWCki - User contributions [en]

The Wallflower

2011-10-23T22:07:28Z

Somethings broken:

''For the CWCipedia page, see [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)]]. For information on the usage of The Wallflower's name on the [[CWCki]], see [[CWCki:The Wallflower|The Wallflower (policy)]]''

{{quote|And, who cares if you're a fucking acoustic virgin? ... Not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I.|The Wallflower, [[Wallflower E-mails 3|speaking for women everywhere.]]}}

[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower IRL.]]

'''"The Wallflower"''', aka '''Damian Antaria''', is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a [[gal pal|female friend]] that [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-[[high school]] years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of trolling. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

The Wallflower wanted the relationship over after a [[troll]] linked The Wallflower to the [[CWCki]]. The ending of their relationship is most likely a result of having her details leaked over the [[Internet]] and Chris exacerbating the problem. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those goddamn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==The "Relationship"==
{{quote|It was getting deep. We hung out at her house in her room; it was comfy. No sex or mouth-to-mouth.|Chris [[Jackie Chat 1|explains the deepness]] of his relationship with The Wallflower.}}
{{See also|Wallflower E-mails}}
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear, though it is suspected that [[Rocky]] may have had something to do with it. While he usually jumps at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he initially made only oblique, passing references to this one.

[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower on her [[third date]] with [[Clyde Cash]].]]

The first signs of Chris's involvement with The Wallflower showed up in late [[January 2010]]. In [[Mailbag 46#Two hip wallflowers|Mailbag #46]], answered on 26 January, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." The Wallflower was sent to the Youth Adult Social Group at the advice of her mother. Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 [[February 2010]] edition of the [[CWC Blog#February 2010|CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56#On appreciating tone (also the end)|Mailbag #56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend", Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

The relationship was, at best, "just friends". Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag most likely stems from [[Wallflower E-mails|The Wallflower rejecting any romantic advances]].

In [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|a series of e-mails to Vivian]], it was revealed that Chris had been seeing The Wallflower for a while, treating her as his girlfriend in almost the same manner he had treated Megan. He had taken her out on a date and had plans for a second. He even admitted to attempting to talk her into taking his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on or before his birthday, and had planned to pay for a prostitute if she did not.

Even with all evidence to the contrary, in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], he unabashedly [[Chris and Reality|refers to her as his]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|"girlfriend"]], despite outright stating earlier that she had refused all his advances.

A series of [[Wallflower E-mails|e-mails]] revealed by [[Surfshack Tito]] reveals that Chris's attachment to The Wallflower had been a one-sided relationship to Chris as The Wallflower, indeed, had no intention of being with Chris and was shocked and appalled at the fact that Chris even ''thought'' that she was his sweetheart.

==The "Break-up"==
{{quote|Got-Dang Asexual Woman!|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] page on The Wallflower.}}

[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]

When Chris released a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that revealed The Wallflower's identify, one troll decided to link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls|a message to the trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME," which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], in which he acted out a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]] that ended with Chris slitting an invisible Clyde Cash's throat. Going by that, it's likely that Chris initially blamed the loss of The Wallflower on his old nemesis.

However, on 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and shifted the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker.

In the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], leaked four days later, Chris was mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with The Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]," as Wallflower had recently begun to back up his claims.

The [[Wallflower E-mails 3|third set of e-mails to The Wallflower]] finally confirms what had happened. As seen, The Wallflower was outright shocked at the vastness of information on her page within the [[CWCki]], assumed that Chris had set the page up himself, and ended their friendship. Chris, however, kept trying to salvage their relationship long after it became obvious that he didn't have a chance, angering her even more. She also asserted her hatred of Chris by first saying that Tito was indeed her boyfriend before giving up and just telling him that she was asexual.

==Today==
It seems that, nearly a year and a half since the events of that March morning, Chris has yet to forget her as, [[Calling Out|returning to the Internet]], he calls out Tito and demands that he apologize to her for breaking them up, still referring to her as his "girlfriend". However, a few days later, Chris made [[Correction of EX relationship status|a retraction video]], apparently clarifying that they were indeed just friends. The description of the video seems to suggest that she found out about the video and demanded he correct it.

Interestingly, though he hasn't forgotten about her, he hasn't ''"forgiven her"'' for it.

==Anonymity==
[[File:Stephen-king-picture-1.jpg|thumb|A picture of The Wallflower. Censored at her request.]]

Originally, this article intruded into parts of The Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010(roughly around the time the edits were made), when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

The e-mails from The Wallflower seem to paint a fuller picture to this. It appears that when The Wallflower discovered her page on the CWCki, she got pissed at Chris and demanded that he remove that information. However, he did it through his [[YouTube]] videos. Annoyed, she went to the CWCki herself.

Chris, in the meantime, continued to drop her first name and pen name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|had it in the title]].

Chris later also uploaded [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|a list of his former gal-pals and sweethearts]] on the CWCipedia which included her full name. Chris goes on to blame the existence of her [[Facebook]] page for the leak of her identity and the end of their budding relationship.

Continuing with this theme, 19 [[April 2010]] would see Chris adding an [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|''entire article'']] about her to the CWCipedia. In addition to the usual fits of megalomania and delirium, the page sported a copy-pasted version of this page. Conspicuously absent, however, was this very section.

To this day, he believes the entire debacle was the Wallflower's fault for having a Facebook page for trolls to discover. [[Calling Out|Recently]], though, Chris has seen fit to ''partially'' [[Chris and remorse|accept blame]] for what happened.

==See also==
*[[Wallflower E-mails]]
*[[Wallflower E-mails 2|Wallflower E-mails II]]
*[[Wallflower E-mails 3|Wallflower E-mails III]]

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Damien_Anteria|linkname=Damien Antaria}}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6CczCBpl A Tribute]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wallflower}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]

Tomgirl Pictures

2011-06-12T15:02:02Z

Somethings broken: /* Chris's outfit */

{{Honest}}
[[File:I am tomgirl.jpg|center|350px]]
[[File:TG1.png|center|300px]]

One day, [[Chris]] decided to cross-dress. Then take pictures of it. Then go out in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|public]] and take pictures of it. The pictures were leaked by [[Surfshack Tito]] on 28 April, 2011. According to Tito, this bizarre new stunt was apparently Chris's extremely overboard reaction to someone advising him to get in touch with his feminine side.

It should be noted that while he has taken it to the next level, Chris has a long history of female fashions and mannerisms, from the [[Anime Wings]] seen in Sonichu Sub-Episode #5 to the [[Muscle bra]]. Chris has even wondered what he would be like if he were born a female.<ref>[[Mailbag 27]] - Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?</ref> The most complete list of Chris's feminine traits can be seen [[Homos#Why Chris appears to be gay|here]].

For some inexplicable reason, several of the images are reversed left-to-right. This appears to be limited to (some of) the 640x480 pictures. They are reproduced here in their original form -- how and why Chris did this is unknown. TG6, TG9, and TG19 are examples; there are several others. It should also be noted that picture taking occurred in at least three different places. Pictures TG3 and TG4 are taken on the Downtown Walking Mall. TG12 and TG19 are taken at the [[Fashion Square Mall]] and the rest taken in his home.

===Chris's outfit===
* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[Homos|homosexuality]]; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eye shadow
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]]</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge of [[F Abstinence|abstinence]] until [[Lovely Weather|marriage]])<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/ silverringthing.com]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

== Gallery of Chris-tran ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:TG2.jpg|Tomgirl car in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
File:TG3.jpg|Chris previously drew on the [[Charlottesville]] Free Speech Wall in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]].
File:TG4.jpg
File:TG5.jpg|Chris matched the color of his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]] with his new pair of sandals.
File:TG6.jpg
File:TG7.jpg|Left ear buccaneer, right ear [[Homos|queer]].
File:TG8.jpg|Not the first time that Chris has covered his face in [[pickle]]s and [[Semen|white goo.]] Also, he's using the [[Plush Breasts]] as a pillow.
File:TG9.jpg|You just know this picture will be used in the paper when Chris finally kills [[Michael Snyder|someone]].
File:TG10.jpg
File:TG11.jpg
File:TG12.jpg
File:TG13.jpg|DAT ASS
File:TG14.jpg
File:TG15.jpg|[[Barbara|Barb 2.0]]
File:TG16.jpg
File:TG17.jpg
File:TG18.jpg|GOODBYE HORSES
File:TG19.jpg
File:TG20.jpg|The PlayStation Move SharpShooter doesn't make the look any manlier.
File:TG21.jpg
File:TG22.jpg
File:TG23.jpg
File:TG24.jpg|Note the [[Medallions_of_Fail#The_Asperchu_Medallion_.28a.k.a._The_Medallion_of_Win.3F.29|Asperchu Medallion]] at top right.
File:TG25.jpg
File:TG26.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

== Fan Works ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Would you mount and do me.jpg
File:Tomgirlart.jpg
File:Chrisgirlfriend.jpg
File:Tomgirl.jpg
File:Tomchu.png
File:Chris_x_Tomgirl.png
File:Tomgirl cwc and lovely weather.png
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Chris and fashion]]

==References==
<references/>
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Cosplaying

2011-01-06T19:55:23Z

Somethings broken:

[[File:0658-ANIME513.JPG|thumb|Chris dressed as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his mary-sue counterpart]] in [[2005]].]]

'''Cosplay''', short for "'''costume play'''", is a type of performance art in which a person dresses up as a character or idea. The practice is commonly seen in the [[anime]] fandom, but can also be seen in other fan realms, such as [[video games]] and ''[[Captain's log|Star Trek]]''. [[Chris]] was first seen in cosplay attire with the famous [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume. Any attempts at cosplay are usually rare; however, a major wave of cosplaying by Chris, presumably to impress/amuse [[Jackie]], appeared in late [[2010]].

It should be noted that the costumes are created at his home using construction paper, markers, paints, and anything else he can purchase in the craft section of a [[Wal-Mart]]. They are crude interpretations of the original image he is attempting to portray and most seem put together quickly and with little effort. Most of the costumes barely resemble the characters Chris is trying to mimic. The only costume he appeared to put any effort into was his [[Sonichu]] form, in which he painted his face and body along with constructing a few minor details to make the look complete. This shows a complete lack of interest in actual cosplay itself unless it is depicting one of his own creations or personal interests.

==Ash Ketchum cosplay==
[[Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|thumb|left|[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Pimp mah riiide!]]]]
[[Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|thumb|That hat is pretty goddamn dirty]]

Chris appeared in his [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally <s>created</s> purchased or made by [[Snorlax]] as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref name="ReferenceA">[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the [[2004]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against five kids dressed up as [[Wikipedia:Team Rocket|Team Rocket]]. The prize was a T-shirt.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|Television footage]] of Chris playing [[card games]] with little kids while dressed as Ash was also featured on his [[DVD]].

For a while, Chris resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the [[Chris and fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|Gay Trucker]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* ''Pokémon League'' ballcap
* Fanny-pack (also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)

The ensemble was usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' T-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below). Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]]. Nevertheless, it remains as his best cosplay yet, and the only one that helped him win anything.

{{clear}}
<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg|
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|
</gallery></center>

==Jackie and cosplay==

{{quote|At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, so there. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. Especially these videos.|Chris}}

[[File:ChrisChanCosplayMR.jpg|thumb|The master costumer at work]]

On 16 [[September 2010]] Chris uploaded a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video of himself depicting Mr. Popo]] from the ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' series, stating that the cosplay and song was for his girlfriend. At the end of the video we learned that it was indeed for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]]. At first this seemed like a typical Chris move to impress a girl in the possible hopes of getting [[china]]. Apparently, either by Jackie urging him to do more or by Chris noticing that his [[sweetheart]] found amusement in his costume play, this was only the beginning.

We wouldn't again see Chris's efforts to amuse his beloved until 2 [[October 2010]] when Chris releases the video [[I like Mary Poppins]]. Though simplistic and crude, the idea that Chris is trying to portray is indeed a form of cosplay. This was just a tiny hint of what was to come the following day when Chris uploads a video attempting to be [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]]. In this video he prances around insanely yelling "Robble robble robble" repeatedly in a quickly put together costume. Several other videos followed of Chris depicting everything from famous [[music]]ians to [[trolls]]. Not until the [[ECV 00002|Sonichu Transformation video]] would we be officially told, by his own mouth, that Chris was doing this for Jackie's amusement.<ref>[[ECV 00002|Sonichu Transformation video]], section 2</ref> Though it may just seem like speculation, it seems that any cosplay video starting from the original Mr Popo was influenced by Jackie in some way.

Most of his costumes during this period were made haphazardly and probably with whatever Chris had laying around his room. The majority are made out of haphazardly colored construction paper taped or tied onto himself. This is probably a result of his laziness and general lack of effort, though he usually seems satisfied with his work output (the "[[100 2279|considerably weak video]]" being a notable exception).

Characters Chris has cosplayed as during this period:
*[[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]
*[[McDonald's|Hamburglar]]
*[[McDonald's|Grimace]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Liquid Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] (though just vocally depicted)
* A member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band]]
*A [[Cherokee]]
*[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
*Fred Flinstone and [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] (the latter in the same costume but with a different 'head')
*[[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]] (a new low, with just a DVD case over his face)
*A [[Harry Potter|wizard from Hogwarts]]
*A [[niggo|"gangsta"]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:ChrisPapa.JPG|Flexing his PaRappa muscles
File:ChrisGroucho.JPG|Chris as Groucho Marx
File:ChrisJuffalo.JPG|As a Juffalo
Image:Niggocwc.jpg|CWC as [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr Popo]]
File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|CWC tries to look like the [[McDonalds|Hamburglar]], but he comes off as an even creepier version of [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]].
File:Grimace.jpg|As the Evil Grimace
File:Chriscash.jpg|As [[Clyde Cash]]
File:Ohboy.jpg|As a member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Virgins With Rage Band]]
File:Liquidd.jpg|As [[Liquid Chris]]
File:Indiann.jpg|As a [[Cherokee]]
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris in his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|super-mode.]]
File:ChrisFredFlinstone.JPG|As Fred Flintstone
File:ChrisHomerFlinstone.JPG|As... Homer Simpson-Flintsone?
File:ChrisAsCleveland.JPG|As Cleveland Brown. Ingenious.
File:ChrisWizard.JPG|From Hogwarts. Learnin' spells n' yeah.
File:128679185214.png|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V]]

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Cosplay|Cosplay]] at [[Wikipedia]]

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Chris and}}

Punchy Sonichu

2010-11-22T01:26:21Z

Somethings broken: /* Comic Appearances (漫画での登場) */

[[Image:Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy Sonichu as he appears in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]]]
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

'''Punchy Sonichu''' (Japanese パンチー・ソニチュウ) is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is often considered to be a [[racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]] knockoff (note the spikes on his gloves/fists), which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of 3 characters:

*[[Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the blatant [[racism]] of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no one. This in contrast to [[Wild]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic Appearances (漫画の登場)==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies (変色赤ちゃん)]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]] where Master [[Excel-Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky. Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref>

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet (ハリネズミの出会い)]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|Look at those eyes: you just know he's Asian]]

While Punchy rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training, his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board which causes Punchy to hitch a ride by accident. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized tits. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. They all beat up Blake until his [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head is bleeding]] all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment (失恋とおとり捜査)]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot (忍び込む悪)]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous bitches. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break (春休み)]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This excites Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed (デート教育)]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]], whom he falls in love with. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest place in CWCville - [[McDonald's]].

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense (自閉症防衛)]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago. Worth noting that in Virginia, being sober (which Layla was, since she didn't have such a hangover) and having sex with someone who's drunk counts as rape.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrely==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry roves to wear radies rengerie.
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Lefelences==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Punchy Sonichu

2010-11-22T01:22:16Z

Somethings broken: /* Evir is Afoot (忍び込む悪) */

[[Image:Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy Sonichu as he appears in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]]]
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

'''Punchy Sonichu''' (Japanese パンチー・ソニチュウ) is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is often considered to be a [[racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]] knockoff (note the spikes on his gloves/fists), which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of 3 characters:

*[[Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the blatant [[racism]] of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no one. This in contrast to [[Wild]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic Appearances (漫画での登場)==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies (変色赤ちゃん)]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]] where Master [[Excel-Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky. Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref>

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet (ハリネズミの出会い)]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|Look at those eyes: you just know he's Asian]]

While Punchy rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training, his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board which causes Punchy to hitch a ride by accident. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized tits. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. They all beat up Blake until his [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head is bleeding]] all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment (失恋とおとり捜査)]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot (忍び込む悪)]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous bitches. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break (春休み)]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This excites Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed (デート教育)]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]], whom he falls in love with. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest place in CWCville - [[McDonald's]].

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense (自閉症防衛)]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago. Worth noting that in Virginia, being sober (which Layla was, since she didn't have such a hangover) and having sex with someone who's drunk counts as rape.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrely==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry roves to wear radies rengerie.
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Lefelences==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Sailor Megtune

2010-06-26T16:13:28Z

Somethings broken: /* In the comic */

[[Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|thumb|SM with [[Megagi La Skunk]]. My god that's a [[Chris and art|horrendous drawing]].]]

'''Sailor Megtune''' is [[Megan Schroeder]]'s Sailor Soldier alter-ego in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. The character is blatantly plagiarized from ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', a favorite show of Megan's.

==In the comic==
Sailor Megtune first appears in the [[Sonichu 5|fifth issue of ''Sonichu'']], along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], who is apparently a sidekick of sorts. She is secretly in love with Chris, proof the comic is not based on real life. He very obviously reciprocates her feelings (as he did in real life), but neither of them can act on those feelings due to "past events" or some shit.

In [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]] Megan was back, more notably as "Megan" and not Sailor Megtune. It is implied that just as Chris can transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Megan can transform into Sailor Megtune, possibly by using a [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]], though any transformation of hers is not explicitly seen in the comics. A picture in the [[Scrapbook of Fail]], however, depicts a transformation pen similar to the ones used by Sailor Moon's teammates, the Sailor Senshi (or Sailor Scouts for you dubbies), during two of the middle seasons (''Sailor Moon R'' and ''Sailor Moon S''). This will probably not be seen or confirmed in the future, as it's very unlikely that she will be appearing in future issues.

==Powers==
Sailor Megtune has a magical guitar weapon in which she is able to perform the attack, "Megtune Rockin' Hurricane". The power is only shown to be used as a means of deflecting or canceling out enemy attacks, and is not shown to have any offensive capabilities.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg|[[Chris Chan Sonichu]] and Sailor Megtune.
Image:308-Megtune.jpg|First major drawing of Sailor Megtune. Note the colored-over transformation pen.
Image:310-Megtunecardback.jpg|Transformation pen full-view
Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|It begins...
Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|Chris writes the thoughts of a sue-ified real person.
Image:Sonichu06-P18.jpg|MEGTUNE ROCKIN' HURRICANE!
Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|Chris draws himself hugging Sailor Asscheeks before Megan made him redo the page.
Image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg|CD cover by Chris.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Megan Schroeder]]
*[[Megagi La Skunk]]
*[[Sailor Moon]]

{{MeganSaga}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Patti-Chan

2010-06-26T16:11:09Z

Somethings broken: /* What's wrong with this */

[[Image:Patti.jpg|thumb|One lucky dog?]]
[[Image:Aceofcloves.jpg|left|thumb|Chris's shit story about Patti. Also, note that Chris traced Megan's artwork on upper-left corner.]]

'''Patti-Chan''' is a fictional character based on Chris's beloved dog [[Patti]], who died in [[2006]]. The lead story of ''[[Sonichu 6]]'' was a tribute to Patti. Allowed no rest even in death, the poor creature has been reborn as an anthropomorphic dog-woman, and now wanders the city of [[CWCville]].

The development of the character is indicative of [[Chris and death|Chris's immature reaction to death]].

==Fictional character biography==

[[Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|thumb|[[Megan|Megan's]] original design of Patti-Chan, AKA "Ace of Clubs"]]
[[Image:087-PattiAceOfCloves.jpg|thumb|Craptastic copy, AKA "Ace of '''Cloves'''"... HAHA GET IT?!]]

A [[Wikipedia:Beagle|beagle]]/[[Wikipedia:Spitz|spitz]] mix, Patti was born on St. Patrick's Day in [[1980s#1988|1988]] and was Chris's faithful dog for the next 18 years. By June [[2006]], Patti was not as energetic as she had once been, and her ass itched. One night while howling at [[The Moon|the fucking moon]], Patti was distracted by a bright star, and considered her desire to walk upright and express to Chris in human language her appreciation for his companionship. Following this, Patti ate grass in the yard, unwittingly catching a four-leaf clover in her mouth, and went to sleep.

The following day, when Christian awoke Patti, she discovered that her wish had been granted, and she had been transformed into a rejuvenated, vital, humanoid creature. Later in the day, Patti expressed a desire to leave her home to roam freely. Taking into account Patti's somewhat alien nature, Chris decided to take her to [[CWCville]] via the magic portal in his bedroom, where she would be accepted as an ordinary citizen. After giving Patti a tour of his [[CWCville Mayoral Office|mayoral office]] and introducing her to [[Allison Amber]], Chris gave her a cell phone and credit card to provide for her needs.

Sometime later, Patti would meet the people of CWCville, most notably [[Rosechu]]. She then joined the ranks of CWCville's heroic defenders, joining [[Darkbind Sonichu]], [[Megagi]], and [[Sailor Megtune]] in reinforcing Christian and the [[Chaotic Combo]] against [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Following this battle, the assembled heroes convened at Chris's office, where Patti argued that Chris is sweet at heart and isn't jealous of anything. [[Punchy]] challenged the objectivity of Patti's opinion, on the grounds that Chris's dog is predisposed to see the best in him.

During the quest to rescue Crystal by obtaining the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], Patti observed that they had obtained four of the balls while two others were trapped with Chris in the [[Time_Void|time void]], and wished for his safe return.

Later she also participated in the [[Sonichu 10]] executions, being one of those who killed [[Alec]].

==Ace of Clubs==
As seen in the [[Scrapbook of Fail]], near the [[Megan Shrine]], there is a hand-drawn sketch of what appears to be Patti-Chan, labeled the Ace of Clubs. It reads "When Patti comes into contact w/ anything Irish or eats clovers she morphs into the Ace of Clubs." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Chris stole [[Megan|Megan's]] character design, adding to the cast of stolen characters, which includes [[Megagi]] and [[Jiggliami]].

In a short story, Chris refers to Patti as the "Ace of Cloves", because he's apparently too stupid to realize that the Clubs in a pack of cards already look like clovers, which this was a play on. Chris has an odd tendency to rename the things he steals from [[Megan|friends]], [[Evan|"fans"]], and [[Ivy|loved ones]]. Whether this is because he wants to maintain some degree of originality or if he just honestly thinks his minor changes actually improve the character isn't certain.

==What's wrong with this==

Leaving aside Chris's (major) [[Chris and death|issues with death]], the character of Patti-Chan is disturbing for a large number of reasons. First, she's not so much a character as a mouthpiece for Chris to talk about how great he is. The same can be said of all his creations, of course, but Patti is based on an actual living creature, one that Chris is closer to than he is most people-and what about her personality do we get apart from how much she loves her master? Soon after the transformation, Chris decides that she now needs clothes, and proceeds to dress her up in the sluttiest gear imaginable. Since she didn't have any visible anatomy to speak of, all this does is [[Chris and Sex|sexualize her]]. This further illustrates how Chris sees [[IRC (23 July 2009)|every single woman]] he's ever met first and foremost as a [[Rosechu|sex object]]. Never mind the fact that the woman in question is a dog, or [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|like a sibling]] to him. Patti-chan is a sickening mix of lust object and Christian's complete inability to accept reality.

'''TL;DR:''' Even when Chris is trying to do something nice, it's self-serving and repulsive.

==See also==
* [[Patti Chandler]] - Patti IRL version (now [[Chris and death|deceased]])

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Sonee & Rosey

2010-06-20T02:13:50Z

Somethings broken: /* Biologee */

[[Image:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|thumb|A '''Sonee''' and a '''Rosey'''. Note that Rosey's looking lustfully at Sonee. [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Seriously]].]]

'''Sonees''' and '''Roseys''' are the pre-evolutionary forms of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Their colors usually correspond to their type. Most [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in the comic started out as eggs that fell out of a rainbow and hatched as Sonees and Roseys.

Technically, baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] never could have existed because they were transformed directly from a Pikachu and Raichu, not Pichu, their pre-evolved form. It's also unconfirmed whether or not the ''[[Hanky-panky|miracle of birth]]'' provides Sonichu offspring with their shoes, bows, and skirts shown. None of the [[Chaotic Combo]], or [[Silvana]], correspond to the "Original Sonee and Rosey", but rather to the prismatic range of the [[Rainbow]]. There's also a continuity in the attire with the "Sonichu/Rosechu" species; "Sonees" are stark-naked with shoes while "Roseys" are wearing dresses. This might be a link with their [[Homos|sexuality]] but Chris, their grandfather, is [[Mailbag 19|unclear on the subject]].

Although Chris has stated that he finds them cute, most ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Trolls|readers]] reacted in disgust when first confronted with these hideously repulsive creatures, and a large consensus has agreed that they are some of the most aggravating characters, their lack of comprehensible (relatively speaking; most Sonichu dialogue is at least in something that resembles [[English]]) speech being a major cause of anger. Their physical appearance is also a source of much disgust, as it is an overload of conventionally "cute" characteristics, done horribly wrong. They look like they're trying too hard to be cute, and it is sickening. [[User:Alcoholic Legend|One fan]], so aggravated and repulsed by these creatures, went as far as writing a [[Fan:A Very Sonichu Adventure|story]] where YOU, the reader, can murder these monstrosities.

The appearance by [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] in [[A Sonichu Day]] is a particularly grating one, as Chris gives them some of the most retarded dialogue he has ever given, in a despicably twee voice. Their appearance in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], where he uses them to represent younger versions of himself and [[Sarah Hammer]], is also horrific when you realize just how contrived and passive-aggressive it all is.

__NOTOC__
{{clear}}

==Sonee==
{{quote|Sonee is the pre-evolved form of sonichu. He is known to have a lot of [[spunk]] and speed. This cute pokemon packs a lot of [[sex|action]].|Sonee ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He has a lot of spunk and speed, and is quite "cute". He is apparently born with shoes on.

==Rosey==
[[Image:SchuComic4Page4.jpg|thumb|The birth of a '''Rosey''' [[Bubbles]], sans skirt.]]

{{quote|Rosey is the pre-evolved form of rosechu. Her [[Pickle|cuteness]] always gets the [[Pedofork|awe of her enemies]]. When she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute.|[[:Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|Rosey Animal Crossing card]]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. According to Chris her so called "cuteness" always gets the awe of her enemies, and when she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute. This last feat is physically impossible, but never mind ''that'', because it offers an [[Pedofork|opportunity]] for panty-shots, that is if they had any, which in fact makes it even worse. It is unclear if Rosey is born with her skirt on, or if it is purchased separately. The Rosey form of [[Bubbles]], for instance (see right), was never born with a skirt.

==Biology==
An examination of the birthdates of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] reveals that Rosechus have a gestation period of less than three months. This amount of time would for a normal creature be insufficient for healthy development, which possibly explains why Sonees and Roseys appear [[retarded]] and half-[[Yawning Squirtle|baked all the time]].

However, Sonees and Rosees seem to vary a lot in intelligence. As infants, the Chaotic Combo could only say their own names (which is supposed to be [[Things Chris has ripped off|how Pokemon communicate]]). And the "Original" Sonee and Rosey can only say Goo-Goo, suggesting they start with even less intelligence. However, the Sonichu Children are capable of speaking in complete (albeit mangled) sentences. Hell, Sandy was able to talk right after she was born! This discrepancy in intelligence has been addressed in [[Mailbag 23]] in which Chris states that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah, Christine and Robbie]] learned English from their parents and that the Chaotic combo didn't have English speaking guardians, which is a [[lie]] as [[Bubbles]] started speaking English while trying to rescue her mother and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] didn't even have any human guardians. This still doesn't address why Sandy could speak right after being born. Regardless of this, they are all still of inferior intelligence.

It is also worth noting that Sonees and Roseys do not wear the white gloves that Sonichu and Rosechu wear at all times; acquiring the gloves is likely a rite-of-passage. Disturbingly, Sonees and Roseys have rounded stumps rather than hands which gives them the appearance of Thalidomide babies, but knowing Chris, he probably ripped them off from the creatures from the ''Sonic'' games known as Chao.

There's also the strong possibility that Sonichu and Rosechu's children are not representative of the typical Sonee & Rosey Poke-type. In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] went from hatching from an egg to her mature form and the intellectual skills of a fourth grader inside of a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_86 single week!] This leaves us to formulate the hypothesis that Sonichu's children are kinda [[retarded|slower than the average]] to evolve in their adult form. Another possibility is that Sandy evolved rapidly because her [[Wild Sonichu|father]] [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|lavished attention on her]], while Cera, Christine and Robbie are left with [[Heather Iglesias|the nanny]] while their parents are forced to fulfill the wishes of [[Christian Weston Chandler|a deranged tyrant]].

==Galleree==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg|JESUS CHIRST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg|[[Pedofork|Notice how Chris draws Rosey with a skirt, but no top...]]
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|[[Pedofork|The card pretty much speaks for itself.]]
Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg
Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg
Image:Demonicrobbie.jpg|[[Audiobooks|GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT FACE]]
Image:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[The Creepy Stare|This image will haunt your soul]].
Image:Gwandpawuvshisgwandchildren.jpg|Gwandpa Chwis wuvs his gwandchildren.
Image:LOLRape.jpg|Chris spends some quality time with his grandkids.
Image:FeedingTime.jpg|A baby Sonee & a baby Rosey feeding off Chris's [[duck]] milk.
Image:Bizarro Chris Sonichu's Offspring.jpg|Bizarro Chris
Image: Bizarro Sonee and Rosey.jpg| More Bizarro Chris
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Metonic]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"|Sonichu 3 Ep.10]], the first episode to feature Sonees and Roseys, to the chagrin of Sonichu [[Trolls|fans]].
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]
*[[Fan:A Very Sonichu Adventure|A Very Sonichu Adventure]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Characters]]

Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke

2010-05-31T20:47:19Z

Somethings broken:

[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|Chris's closing statement.]]
'''Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''' (officialy '''01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] in the early hours of 17 [[January 2010]]. After Chris finally changed his [[Chris and fashion|shirt]], he decided to read every page of [[Asperchu]] and give a critique of Alec's comic.

Surprisingly, it's not very favorable, and Chris spends almost ten minutes whining about all of the things he doesn't like about it, including a lot of stuff that [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris does in his own comic]]. He then threatens Mao, Alec, and [[Evan]] (but for some reason, not [[Sonichu is Dead|Sean]]) with the terrible might of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|pastor]] (who disapproved of [[Vivian Gee|Vivian's]] [[A_Girl_who_Brought_Down_the_World|book]]) and the [[Lies|FBI]]. One of Chris's major points in his argument is that he was set on fire in the comic, and calls it [[Nudes|"horrendous"]]; apparently, [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting somebody in the legs]] is perfectly fine, though. Also of note is that despite Chris saying that he hates Asperchu, he still took the time to download each page of it onto his [[PS3]]'s hard drive.

Chris also heavily implies that his [[Patti|dead dog]] is now some kind of evil spirit with the power to kill.

This video also defines what Chris considers to be "homosexually oriented." In addition to casting his male characters as homosexuals(Though Sonichu is straight) and putting pictures of nude male models in the background of some pages, Chris feels that his sexuality is questioned by characters using the word "fag" and [[Niggo|Jivin]] engaging in heterosexual intercourse(though Jivin's partner was very ugly and Chris may have confused her for a guy).

==Description==
{{quotebox|
Obvious C.W.C. Slanders/References: -BIG BELLY -Man Boobs -Goatee -Glasses -wears MY shirts -Patti-Clone -Unapproved Recreation of myself -SETS ME ON FIRE in Book C, Pages 29 and 30!!!

Graphic Nudity/Sexual Images: Book 0 Pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, Book A Pages 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29, Book B Pages 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, Book C Page 2

Homosexual References: Book 0 Pages 13, 14, 18, 20, 24, Book B Page 26, Book 1, Page 8, 9, 12, 14, 21

Non-Approved CWC/Sonichu Use/References: Book 0 Pages 19-24, Book B Pages 25-32, Book C and Book 1

Graphic Language: Book 0 Pages 3, 9, 12, 15, 17, 18, 24, Book A Pages 1, 7, 9, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, Book B Pages 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 20, 28, Book C Pages 2, 3, 7, 19, 33 and Book 1

Anti-Religious: Books A and B }}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke
| image = {{#ev:youtube|RdBB9q0oxQA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 January 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] The Napoleon
| previous = [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
| next = [[22 January 2010]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:pattysvengefulsoul.jpg|thumb|Patti will have your soul for dinner tonight]]
Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2010.

I am here at this point recording this video to make it perfectly clear. Although it was a bit of a mistake with that last video I made, but you know what? Regardless of that video, I did- I shouldn't have not have had to make such a video, because I can prove- I can just show ya'll the evidence, [''Chris grabs his camera and starts walking towards his TV.''] that I have just read through the entire bunch of pages... of hi- of Alec's... [[Asperchu]]. Unedited, all fresh from the website, organized by page number. In my playlist.

[''The camera shoots downwards, a list passes by it momentarily, before Chris's TV comes into focus. There appear to be an array of comic pages on screen, set against a continually changing [[South Park]] "Dynamic Theme" background.'']

First off, just to name a few things, there's an o- there are the obvious... sturdy slanders! [''The cover of Asperchu 0 comes into focus on the TV''] And obvious references to with I mean the [[Obesity|old Buddha belly]] that I [[Lie|used to have]], exaggerated manboobs, and even the [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]] I used to ha- I had one time. And he makes him- and he makes... his Asperchu character wear nearly every [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] I wear. Nearly every shirt! And a crappy copy of a medal! My shirts.

[''The cover disappears, and Chris scrolls through the list of comics, finally picking a page in which a man is talking to a dog that really doesn't look anything like [[Patti]].'']

And then to make matters worse, he goes and be—sssmirches my old- my dog! By making a crap- by making a crappy flop- a crappy copy of my dog! My d- Patti will- Patti's- the spirit of Patti will [[Chris and religion|have his soul for dinner tonight]]! She will be haunting your [[Dreams|nightmares]], Mr. Leary.

[''Screen goes back to page selection, picking a page that has a picture of Asperchu's Take on [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]'']

And of course, even including the unapproved recreation of my charact- of my person within his pages, as you can see right here. You can find all these on his [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia].

[''screen returns to page select'']

That was issue C page 19, by the way.

[[Image:BurningManchild.jpg|thumb|He sets me on fire!]]

And then even worse! Starting on page C29 [''Chris selects the page with Metal Asperchu preventing Ian from shooting Asperchu''], he sets me on fire! He sets me on fire! [''Chris moves to the next page''] And then even worse, continues lettin' me be on fire on page 30! I swear, if that ain't the [[Gun Comic|most outrageous ''thing'']] that he has ever done against me.

[''Back to page select.'']

But I could get- I could definitely reference a few more instances of where he actually is considering [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|peeing on himself]] within his own comic series. Starting with, of course, with a few from his first book [[Sonichu 8|of graphic nudity or sexual reference]] on page three of his 0 book. Even worse off, on page 10, and while he's in that Burger King! With all his goddamn homosexual references as well!

[''Chris shuffles through a variety of pages featuring the Asperchu date plot in book one. [[Fail|None of them contain any homosexual references]]. He then returns to the page select.'']

And he's done like a whole number of them I could read you a list off of. You can find these si- i- find such nude images on pa- on 0- book 0, pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, and book A, 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29. Book B, 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, AND book C, page 2! They put in so many ho- put, like I said, put in ho- so many homosexual references between books... 0, B, and 1.

And he uses uncensored swear words, such as [''Camera swings back to Chris''] shee-it and ''ass''! In between all- in between all of his books! So many [[Chris and hypocrisy|goddamn]] of those. And his- and his A and B books are anti-religious! Anti-religious! In those two books. That little son of a bitch, he's pee- he's basically peeing on h-his own self.

Now look, I'll admit I have done my little share of nudity within the comi- within my- few page- within a couple of pages, but they were censored by either images of [[Sonichu_8#Alternate_versions|lemon for vagina an' bananas for... dick]].

[[Image:LEMONS_cwc.png|thumb|LEMON FOR VAGINA!! BANANA FOR DICK!!!.]]

[''Chris makes a revolted face at having just said the word "dick," then scratches the back of his head.'']

And it was f- and da- and da- and that book was finally finalized and organized so that it be 'propate for all- for all those of ages, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|TV-Y7]]... and such. And I- and if I ever said a swear word within my book, I would censor it, [''voice cracks''] but he does not censor his own swear words.

But like I said, [''Chris reaches down for his script''] he's basically gone to the things aga- he's basically mocking me with the references of myself. Between my- between the bu- between the belly, the manboobs, the goatee and glasses, numerous shirts, a fake medal, wearing- h'yeah. A c- a-copy of MY DOG, an unapproved recreation of myself and my Son- and my characters, and even SETS ME ON FIRE [''Chris starts wandering around the room, keeping the camera on his face''] and makes my- and makes what is- makes his ver- and makes HIS quote-unquote "Sonichu clone" go against me as being- as not being the original creator of the original Sonichu. Now, s- the original Sonichu of that thing can be caught in the wild, so therefore afar- as far as I'm concerned, that's just ano- that's just another one he caught from the wild, and drew hisself a clone basically. Just another individual, aside from- aside from the original Sonichu that only lives in CWCville.

And also, in reference to the un-not 'proved use within book number 0 on pages 19 through 24, including- ''including''- the homosexsual references, he supposedly thinks there's a- that- he supposedly thinks that there's this law change in CWCville and it is wrong for him to quote CWCville at all within his book. And no such changes, as he has said, has happened within CWCville. [''Stops and grabs camera vigorously with both hands and looks directly into it''] He wishes he knows my Sonichu, Rosechu, and all my electric hedgehogs as well as I do, but he can not, because he is not me, the original creator. [''Resumes wandering around the room''] HE IS NOT ''ME''.

So uh I am send this message again to ''Alec'', ''Evan'', and even ''Mao''- I have less offense with Sean by the way, but to those three...

[''Chris flips off the camera and gives a two-and-a-half-second raspberry'']

[[Death threats|DIE. DIE IN HELL.]] And I hope the soul of my late dog... eats at your souls and kills you in your sleep.

[''Gives a creepy uncomfortable stare at the camera as he slowly switches the hand holding it'']

[[Image:Chris rages yet again.png|thumb|Chris on Vivian's book from a few months earlier. He changes his story a lot.]]
But aside from that, his boo- his book is the pages within the so-called Asperchu... series? [''scratches the back of his head, pauses to look up at the ceiling for a moment''] They are definitely ludicrous and horrendous and horrific. [''starts moving around again, picks up a book, then wanders some more''] Even a horrific s- even as horrific as within [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian Gee's own book]]. And my pastor rissal- Elizabeth Hoss, my pastor has read the book from cover to cover, and she HATES it. Sh- my reverend hates it. And I don't like it either because it is of disgrace... and slander, and mockery of my person and my character. Just about as much, but actually this [''points to the TV''] is worse. The Asperchu and everything there, that is worse than that book. I'm sorry Vivian, but that book is just no good. And I'm definitely gonna let my Elizab- let my pastor know about the Asperpedia and the Asperchu and to all the pow-through her powers within her church and the congregation and even the '''''F! B! I!''''' We will see you in Minnesota, and take you down personally, Mister '''''ALEC BASON LARRY!'''''

[''pause, head scratch''] We get the FBI on our side. [''long pause''] Your mockery of my person is not appreciated!

Udder'n dat, I leave with most everybody else in peace. Have a good day. Except for you three of which I mentioned earlier.

==Rebuttal==
Within hours, [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia's]] Mao made a rebuttal video calling Chris out on his hypocrisy.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|GNk24SsVxaY}}
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The video was promptly given a prominent position on every page of the [[CWCipedia]].

==See also==
*[[Asperchu]]
*''[[Sonichu 8]]''
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]|nextlink=[[22 January 2010]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

I am Alive

2010-05-31T20:43:52Z

Somethings broken:

__NOTOC__[[Image:RIP Chris Chan.JPG|thumb|Apparently this is all it takes to get a video...]]
[[Image:Fkinglie.png|thumb|But surprisingly, this elicits no response.]]
'''I am Alive''' (officially '''02042010 - I am Alive.MOV''') is a two-part video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 5 [[February 2010]]. In reaction to the ads claiming that he died, Chris made this video to dispel those rumors, and to [[Chris and remorse|apologize to Evan and Alec]] stating that he'd kill off Simonla and that he was [[Lie|sorry for claiming that Alec keeps women captive in his basement]].

Note that the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|SheCameForCWC]] [[parody]] ad with an Oedipal Chris and [[Barbara|his mom]] had been up for three days and he never said one word about it, even when he noticed the other ad claiming he's dead ''right next to it.'' Some [[trolls|fellow Christorians]] have theorized that perhaps nudity and matriphilia are calmly accepted around the Chandler household, while others propose that Chris is too dense to realize that the woman depicted is meant to be his mother.

In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Phone Call 6]], Alec Benson Leary told Chris that the ads would be removed from CWCipedia on the condition that Chris would apologize for specific things — Alec had Chris writing them down, and in this video, Chris is literally reading a script in an emotionless, particularly [[Chris and remorse|insincere]] manner, on camera. While Chris obviously half-assed yet another precious task given to him, the trolls honored their end of the deal and nevertheless removed the ads from CWCipedia.

{{Clear}}

==Part 1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 02042010 - I am Alive.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|84ye0PybM1I}}
| Stardate = 5 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] Vert. Blue/Gray
| previous = [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]
| next = [[I am Alive#Part 2|One more thing...]]
}}

===Transcript===
C-log February 4th, 2010

First off, I'm not dead, and I have a few announcements to make. Don't listen to that stupid Mao and his stupid advertisements. Don't I look dead to you? No, I'm alive, safe, well, and [[Chris and Health|healthy]]. [[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|Thinning by the day.]] That's for the announcements.

So...I'll admit Alec has a sizable fanbase, possibly greater than my own, currently. Uhh, I had--I originally had permission for using Simonchu in my comics from Evan, but then he took it away, Simonla was not mine, so I'm giving it back to him by killing her later. Uhh...I admit editing small article, I'll just delete it altogether later today--or later on.

''[[sigh]]'' I apologize to Alec for calling him [[naive]] multiple times. And, uh, I apologize to Mao--here's a Forgiveness Blessing. Forgiveness Blessing! Shoo. There you go.

Uhh...I just been--forgive me, but I just had to dig a bunch of snow. It's snowing now. My car's stuck.

And I apologize to Alec for--for taking Asperchu and his--rec--and his recreated characters...for re-editing and whatnot. A comic pa--there'll be a page later explaining all that. There's another apology I made to him earlier about pretending my mother...hmm. I apologize for accusing him for female entrapment and, uh, rumors about rape. [[Lie|It was never meant to be rape]]. It was just like you know...he had to--he had those four Rosechus in his basement. Kept 'em in cages. Treated them like hamsters. Ham--giant hamster wheel. Water bottle. Food pellets. No rape. Just hamsters. You don't rape a hamster!

And I had no excuse for not updating on some days, but [[Mass debating|real life]] just happens, though. That's my only excuse, real life, other than that, I have no excuse. And uh, I apologize for disrespect in the mailbags and belating updates.

Yeah, so with that. I'll leave you all with that, and I'm alive, safe, well. Okay, have a good day.

==Part 2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Part 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|GPENY0rE3Hs}}
| Stardate = 5 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] Horizontal blue/gray
| previous = [[I am Alive#Part 1|I am Alive]]
| next = [[9 February 2010|Captain's Log 9 February 2010]]
}}

===Transcript===
Oh, and one more thing. I'll admit--I admit that I was--that I trolled Alec, in the sense like I was trolled before, and I apologize for that. I didn't want to leave that detail out. I [[Rollin' and Trollin'|trolled]] Alec, and I apologize for that, and I will not troll him anymore. Okay.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]|nextlink=[[9 February 2010]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{Captain's Log}}