CWCki - User contributions [en]

Duck

2012-07-22T21:43:37Z

Sonichufork: added image

{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|right|200px]]</div>
{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}
{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}
'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

==Chris and his duck==
[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|Another example of a bent duck]]
[[Image:Duck_1.jpg|thumb|200px|Let the equackulation commence!]]
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]], though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> He even [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_the_CWCki#8_May.2C_03:09_-_03:16|edited]] the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. His claim appears highly unlikely, however, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and he apparently regrets this fact. In [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|an e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. In the [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] [[:File:TG20.jpg|images]], leaked in [[April 2011]], his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

Chris also [[Cwcsicle|stuck his duck in the ice]] for 15 minutes trying to imitate Jackass.

When he announced the loss of his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on [[Facebook]] Chris claimed his sex partner praised his duck for its size. How he was able to have sex with his bent duck only [[godjesus]] knows.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.
== Sources ==
<references />
==See also==
* [[Nudes]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

User:Sonichufork

2012-07-22T21:38:53Z

Sonichufork:

File:Pony.jpg

2012-07-22T21:36:31Z

Sonichufork: The dreaded Cheroki-Chan, Chris's abomination pony.

The dreaded Cheroki-Chan, Chris's abomination pony.

Talk:Duck

2012-07-22T20:34:48Z

Sonichufork:

Judging by the photos, I see a case of Peyronie's disease. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 06:12, 27 April 2009 (CEST)

It could also be a case of a broken penis; a blunt force injury to an erection. Judging from what the family finances seem to be, it could be that they just couldn't afford the surgery to fix it.--[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 09:53, 12 May 2009 (CEST)

Maybe the ExtenZe has something to do with the whacked-out shape? It might exacerbate the problem at least. Jesus on the Christ River, that's a horrifying penis. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 04:30, 1 July 2009 (CEST)

I can agree to the Peyronie's explanation. Barbara and Bob were in their 40's and 60's (respectively) when Chris was born. Having a child at such a late age puts them at risk for a multitude of diseases and disorders. This could be the cause of the many syndromes and diseases that trols have diagnosed Chris with. --[[User:Howsyourham|Howsyourham]] 19:43, 12 July 2009 (CEST)

A botched circumcision may also lead to a bent penis, among other disfigurements. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 06:08, 13 August 2009 (CEST)

==Merge==
I suggest we merge Duck and Pickle into Penis. All of the CWCisms for [[China]] are on the same page. --[[User:Megaman|<font face="Impact" color="blue" size="2px">''Megaman!''</font> ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 15:15, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
*Yes, they are both terms for penises but they're both distinct as well. Pickle has a rich history and is typically associated to penises drawn on his female characters while duck tends to be in reference to his own genitalia. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

:*In other words, it's advisable to keep the two pages separate. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

*Furthermore, the case with "china" is that the CWC-isms for "china" are isolated instances (one reference to "vaginatables" and one instance to "tom tom") that they really don't warrant their own pages. China only gets its own page because of the classic "DYKES DYKES CHINA!" and because it's been discussed in [[Sonichu 8]] that the Rosechu's genitalia is also known as a "china." The term "pickles" however, has frequent use and Chris seems to have a phobia of even pickles on his food (see episode 2 from [[Sonichu 0]] where Sonichu says how he hates pickles) and the receipt from when he went to visit Julie and ordered his food with no pickles, though he's also used "duck" several times in reference to his own genitalia, such as "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!"

:So yeah, they really shouldn't be merged. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:53, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

Does he use the term "duck" in reference to his own "pickle"? It seems that way.

*Yeah, it seems that he's used "duck" only in reference to his own penis. That and/or the whole "pickle" meme from trolls (ex. drawing actual pickles on Rosechu) has caused Chris to hate pickles so much, he is afraid of even saying the world. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Pickle and duck have both gained quite some cult-status separately from eachother. They also refer to different things. Also, they are different words in the CWCism-glossary. So I guess it shouldn't be too much of a problem to keep them as two different articles... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:54, 12 August 2009 (CEST)

==This page is getting convaluted==

We should probably stop with the extra pictures and quotes until the article is longer. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:16, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

== Duck.jpg ==

I propose the removal of Duck.jpg [http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Duck.jpg] because it isn't a fact. The peanut butter on the dick myth arose from a retard on ED [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Talk:Chris-chan/Archive9#CHRIS_.28doesn.27t.29_COVER_HIS_DUCK_IN_PEANUT_BUTTER] who faked a conversation with Chris. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:26, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

I think it should be removed but another thing that bugs me about this page is the Pic of Chris bent duck I know this page is meant for it but I just think its a eye sore, so would it be alright if it were put in box like the other pic of Chris's duck on the [[Sex]] page?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 14:59, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm pretty sure it already was on the Sex page, but I had it removed from there already (See the talk page, my old username was Thelieisacake). Based on the discussion we had there, I think it's safe to say that nobody will complain if it's removed from here as well. I'll do it now. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:38, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

== Still relevant? ==

Has Chris even said 'duck' since [[Julie]]? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 05:52, 9 December 2010 (PST)
:*[[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler.27s_Initial_Entry|Yes]]. But even if he never says it again, we'd still need an article for it, right?[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 09:03, 9 December 2010 (PST)

==For fuck's sake.==

The image at the corner of the page is pretty funny yeah, but what bright spark used a non-transparent version that covers up most of what's on that side of the page? Can someone fix this? I'd do it myself but I'd break the page. [[User:MonocleClaire|MonocleClaire]]

== Gallery? ==
As disgusting as it is, I think this page needs moar images of our infamous hero's cream horn, to give it's viewers moar of an idea of what it looks like. Normally, I would just go ahead and add it, but it seemed like a controversial move to me. - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 13:34, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

User:Sonichufork

2012-07-22T19:57:55Z

Sonichufork:

File:Duck 1.jpg

2012-07-22T19:52:38Z

Sonichufork: Wild Duck appeared!

Wild Duck appeared!

User:Sonichufork

2012-07-22T19:28:47Z

Sonichufork:

Hello, I am the Sonichu Fork. I am not a very experienced wiki editor, so bear with me. I tend to excel at writing, "fan" art, and piping. - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 12:11, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

'''A'''cting like you're weird '''U'''naware of social boundaries '''T'''hirty is a good age to living with your mommy '''I''' don't have to follow the law, I have a social condition '''S'''onic and Pikachu are individually copyright multimillionaire businesses but combined they are copyright Chris '''M'''oney should come from other peoples earnings for people like me - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 12:28, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

User:Sonichufork

2012-07-22T19:28:20Z

Sonichufork:

Hello, I am the Sonichu Fork. I am not a very experienced wiki editor, so bear with me. I tend to excel at writing, "fan" art, and piping. - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 12:11, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

'''A'''cting like your weird '''U'''naware of social boundaries '''T'''hirty is a good age to living with your mommy '''I''' don't have to follow the law, I have a social condition '''S'''onic and Pikachu are individually copyright multimillionaire businesses but combined they are copyright Chris '''M'''oney should come from other peoples earnings for people like me - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 12:28, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

User:Sonichufork

2012-07-22T19:11:49Z

Sonichufork: created page