CWCki - User contributions [en]

Abusive babysitter

2015-01-23T18:59:50Z

Sonichuis44: congenital != hereditary

[[Image:Babysitter.jpg|thumb|A re-enactment of what happened to Chris and his [[duck]].]]

The '''abusive babysitter''' was a babysitter in [[Chris]]'s neighborhood by the last name of '''Roach''' who watched Chris when he was 18 months old.<ref name="Wikipedia" /> According to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]], Roach was "unfit" as a babysitter, yet [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] left Chris alone with her every day for years anyway while they went out drinking.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> She allegedly locked him in a room filled with toys while she babysat him, because of her feelings of anger towards him. According to Chris, he was so [[stress|traumatized]] by this incident that he didn't talk for six years.<ref name="Wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

Chris has blamed this event for his [[autism]], although evidence suggests that it is a congenital disorder rather than a disorder induced by emotional trauma like post-traumatic stress disorder. Generally speaking, the age at which Chris was allegedly abused is around the same time that symptoms of autism begin to manifest themselves anyway.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism#Screening http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism#Screening]</ref> Once, in the [[Mailbag 12|Mailbag]], Chris shyed away from this explanation for his condition, possibly referring to the popular myth that links autism to childhood vaccinations instead.

While sparring with Clyde Cash in [[Mumble 3]], Chris said that he holds no ill will towards his parents for leaving him with the babysitter: "They did not know better."

The irony of it all is that now Chris locks ''himself'' in a [[Chris's room|room filled with toys]], and for days on end instead of merely hours. This irony has not yet been addressed by the man himself, but we can be sure that if trolls bring it up in the future, it will be duly ignored.

==References by Chris==
The earliest reference to the abusive babysitter is in the [[Song of Christian]] videos from [[1998]]. There, Chris explains the basics of the story and pegs her as the cause of his autism.

{{quote|I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean babysitter. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys, and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my autism began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.|Chris, Song of Christian Part 1}}

He later mentioned her in passing in [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], the initial response to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page in the fall of 2007, although in that instance he didn't directly link the babysitter to his mental handicap.

In an IRC chat from [[IRC (16 October 2008)|October 2008]], a troll pumped Chris for information about the babysitter, but Chris didn't offer anything new. When asked for details on what she did that he considered abusive, Chris replied, "only locked me in a room, alone by myself; no one else around in the room."

Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia user page]] from the spring of 2009 tells much the same story as the Song of Christian video, albeit in not so many words. In that case, though, he referred to her by name.

{{quote|While being babysat by a woman in my neighborhood, whose last name was Roach, she was angry for some reason, so she locked me in a room, all by my lonesome, and it was then at 1 1/2 Years of age, I stopped talking.|Chris, on Wikipedia, 01 May 2009}}

On 3 [[2013#September|September 2013]], Chris published [[CWC's Hallmark Negative Life Events|a list]] on [[Facebook]] that starts with the incident.

{{quote|Roche (Roach) woman, resided in Yellow House on Westwood Drive in Green Lea Subdivision in [[Ruckersville, VA]], locked me in a room all alone with nothing but [[toys]]; initiated my speak stopping at 1.5 years old.|Chris, [[CWC's Hallmark Negative Life Events]]}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[Heather Iglesias]]

{{People}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Template:Da update

2012-05-07T20:52:54Z

Sonichuis44:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*6 May - A previously unseen [[Jackie#Sex pics|drawing]] of Chris and Jackie in a pool having sex is released.
*5 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris posts a [[Facebook#Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!|note]] on Facebook calling on the trolls to leave [[Anna]] alone and clarifying that he does not see [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] in her. In addition, an old drawing of the Wallflower from 2010 is released.
*1 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris makes another post on Facebook titled "Hey, Trollies", where he continues to gloat over his alleged "victory" over the trolls (despite the fact that he's caused them no damage or humility whatsoever).
*30 [[April 2012|April]] - Chris posts on Facebook saying that the [[JenkinsJinkies]] gay camp experience story wasn't real, comments about his enjoyment over the news that one of his trolls has been caught by the [[Jerkops|FBI]], and makes a gloating [[voicemail greeting]].
*28 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts on Facebook that he knows of the [[CWCki]] forums and taunts the trolls with this knowledge.
*26 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts on Facebook that he aims to return to use of an [[Attraction Sign]] at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]].
*25 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts on Facebook about Derpy, a [[My Little Pony]] character. He's also given a [[ban]] from the [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]].
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Women's rights

2012-04-17T00:42:53Z

Sonichuis44:

[[File:SchuComic8P58.jpg|thumb|Sure, sweety. Now make me some coffee, would ya?]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|Chris giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.|Self-description<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

'''Women's rights''', at least in [[Chris]]'s mind, refer to the right of women to strip without interference, and to be interpreted as women without [[pickle]]s.

Given his admitted love of the [[Pre-1980#1960s|1964]] classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably stole the concept from the character of [[Wikipedia:Mary_Poppins_(film)#Mrs._Banks|Mrs. Banks]], who is a suffragette in 1910 London.<ref>Lyrics from "The Life I Lead": "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / [[Wikipedia:Edward VII of the United Kingdom|King Edward]]'s on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what [[Wikipedia:Women's suffrage|women's suffrage]] is, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

==Origin==
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|left|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
His extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from a Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael. As the story is set in 1910 London, women did not yet have the right to vote, and was a time particularly noted for the rise in campaigns for women's franchise, particularly from groups like the radical Suffragettes and the more moderate Suffragists. Mrs. Banks is the first character we see in the film proper, and she also sings the first song, "Sister Suffragette", during which she mentions [[Wikipedia:Emmeline_Pankhurst|Emmeline Pankhurst]] being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and treatment. But Chris takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck.

==In the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|An example of Chris's disclaimers.]]
In the [[comics]], women are portrayed as only enjoying fucking, shopping, and cooking, though they do not enjoy them for themselves; they enjoy cooking for the men. Similarly, when they go shopping, they buy clothes to wear for their significant other/crush.

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' in [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] strip to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]].

Despite their phenomenal talent for fighting evil, Chris depicts Rosechus as passive [[Sex toys|sexual toys]] for [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the Rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women also tend to act as a deus ex machina plot device - occasionally leaving their role as supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism.

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the women's rights. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand what society would consider a correct course of action, to wit, not objectify the women in the first place, and that disclaimers like these won't alleviate the fact that he's doing something that is considered inappropriate.

==In real life==
[[File:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Layla]] performs a woman's highest duty.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]

Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], [[video games]], and in particular [[pornography]], which Chris considers "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[racism|racist remarks]].

This mindset is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[Love Quest]]. Chris takes on a passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women who he thinks will take interest in his appearance. Chris essentially is looking for a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]] in his life. Rather than aiming to better himself, he is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit.

Much of Chris's sexism in relationships is rooted in [[hypocrisy]] - for example, he thought that if he was married to [[Ivy]] and was [[stress]]ed, he could go to a [[Zelina Rosechu|strip club]], but of course she could not; similarly, he suggested a MFF threesome with many of his sweethearts, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a [[Homos|MMF threesome]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

When occasionally confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended.<ref>[[White_knight_e-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist]]</ref>. When his sexism is pointed out, he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse", and can't process the idea that treating women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is still a form of sexism if not the definition (in addition to with and other factors).

==TL;DR version==
Chris tries to pass off his chauvinism as pseudo-feminism, and will never get laid without paying for the honor.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Ruckersville, VA

2012-03-05T00:33:25Z

Sonichuis44:

'''Ruckersville, Virginia''' is the home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the center of all things [[Sonichu]]-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return several years later.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
| colspan="2"| [[Image:Ruckersville Aerial Map.jpg|250px]]
|-
| Location:
| Ruckersville, VA
|-
| Coordinates:
| [http://maps.google.ie/maps?ix=tea&oei=4gFBT8SvPM-EhQfd-s3KBQ&q=38%C2%B013%E2%80%B259%E2%80%B3+N,+78%C2%B022%E2%80%B209%E2%80%B3+W&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x89b4720e575f8437:0x67ceca4bec34b85b,%2B38%C2%B0+13'+59.33%22,+-78%C2%B0+22'+8.96%22&gl=ie&ei=4wFBT9m_CsS3hQeRlJXTBQ&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CB8Q8gEwA 38°13′59″ N, 78°22′09″ W]
|-
| Classification:
| Census-designated place
|-
| Established:
| [[Pre-1980|1732]]
|-
| Population:
| 1,141 ([[2011]])
|-
| ZIP code:
| 22968
|-
| Area code:
| 434
|-
| Website:
| Unavailable
|}

==The Brochure==
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[Christian Weston Chandler|raise a family]] or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]].

==The Truth==
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|/this article]]

It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. It's a place where people burn their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, where the human disasters we know as the "[[Chandlers]]" can go ignored and unnoticed (that is if you don't know who they are). Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]], history, and the only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver [[Tobacky|Phillip Morris]]. While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it's just one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job.

Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his [[high school]] days forever.

==Geography==
The geography of Ruckersville is rather plain, composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small ugly housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring. Ruckersville really is a place for people who prefer to do absolutely nothing with their lives at all.

Ruckersville is far from any real civilization: about 100 miles (160 km) from [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]], 16 miles (26 km) from [[Charlottesville]] and 77 miles (123 km) from [[Richmond]].

==Crime==
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unexpectedly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on [[Chris and sex|record]]. That said, nearby Charlottesville is the regional heart of commerce and entertainment. If Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], likely so are most others.

==Culture==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|lolculture]]

==Ground Zero==
It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a ''Google Street View'' of the housing development that contains Chris's home was unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care. The current satellite images are copyrighted 2012 to the Commonwealth of Virginia, indicating that until this year even Virginia didn't give a fuck about its shitty backwater 'burbs.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of the redneck shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red mark.
Image:14 branchland court gmaps.png|A closeup view of where the magic happens
Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|No redneck town is complete without churches and replaceable letter signs.
Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for moronic Man-children.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[14 Branchland Court]]
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[Chris's room]]
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Ruckersville,_Virginia|Wikipedia article]]
*[http://www.virginia.org/Cities/Ruckersville/ Tourism info]
{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

File:14 branchland court gmaps.png

2012-03-05T00:27:19Z

Sonichuis44: Chris's house on Google Maps, highest zoom level

Chris's house on Google Maps, highest zoom level

Template:Quote of the now

2010-11-08T06:28:54Z

Sonichuis44:

{{quote|[[Chloe|I Mis Spoke;]] [[Simonla Rosechu|I did not lie.]] [[The Wallflower|I Mis Spoke.]]|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 20]]}}
<noinclude>
{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]]. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible and use links appropriately.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Wallflower E-mails 3

2010-09-25T15:19:57Z

Sonichuis44:

Continued from [[Wallflower E-mails 2]].
{{quoteboxred|Chris,
You need to find someway to delete all of that information about me on your site. And I'm hurt that you didn't ask permission either. I didn't appreciate that. There's only one place that has my real info and that's facebook. And for the last time I am not your sweetheart! I never agreed to be your girlfriend or anyone elses.
Facebook is the only place that knows my real name. and all the other websites I go by <CENSORED>. If someone comes after me, it'll be your fault.
Delete all of that right now. And just for this, we're no longer friends. I'm sorry, but you did this, and it was wrong.
Email me once you've deleted that info, and I'm going to check it. I'm also going to have to change my email thanks to you.}}

{{quotebox|Listen, the "CWCIPEDIA" is my ONE website; not the "CWCki", that belongs to someone else; I will get in touch with the webmaster who created it and try to get it off of there.

I Only referenced you by your Pen Name Once on the Foretaste level I uploaded; NO OTHER TIME, and I have Never referred us as Sweethearts or anything beyond Just Friends. I swear this with hand on my Bible.

I understand I screwed up royally. I also did my best to prevent this by not even stating an inkling of your real name. Why did I have to become such a god damned internet celebrity? I shared my Sonichu stories and art, and for a few years now, I have been Bullied, Tortured, Hacked, and such cruel emotional torment from like thousands to millions of cruel people who took my words and photos and warped them around to their own damned mockery. Even crap they took from me from deceptive methods; pretending to be old friends and "trusting" people online. I had learned long ago to be very careful about most people online and such.

Because of these trolls, I have lost a few friends. They made a page of my old gal pal, Megan Schroeder, on their Encyclopedia Dramatica "Chris_chan" page, I also made the worst mistake of an adult drawing between me and her which was the apex there. She and her family moved to another state, and I lost touch with her long ago. Such a damned mistake I swore never to repeat ever again.

Not only friends, but because of their influence towards the manager, plus an impulse of anger because he would not let me hook up my Wii to his HD TV, I was banned from the Game & Hobby Place June, 2008, and with that I was forced away from the Pok'emon TCG League which I enjoyed going to every Friday.

And as that webmaster states in some exaggeration (some on that damned ED page as well), they tell of the other women I've met online who I lost because of those trolls and my mistakes, as well as the "women" who were trolls themselves. Sarah Jackson, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie and Ivy O'Niel; they were honest women, but they all died between a car accident, the Janurary, 2009 Australia Brushfires, and suicide. And Kacey fell for and married a "Christian Weston Chandler" of Philladelphia who PRETENDED TO BE ME in identity theft on YouTube with a Paper Medallion and a Brown Striped Shirt.

Damn it, they even listed three of my High School gal pals, based from the slideshow from a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD a troll who pretended to be my Primary/Elementary School crush in her adult years.

I should have never put Sonichu on the internet...How was I to know that it would bring me grief less than a decade later.

I have been in a number of moments of finding peace and losing it later, because these damn trolls won't leave me be. They're mostly immature dumbasses who have no lives of their own. They don't want me to have a life of my own; they don't want me to find long-term peace and happiness for myself. They don't want me to find and hold True Love for myself. Because they are so self-absorbed in themselves that they only want me to give them more stories and art more often; they are nothing but greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted fools.

Heartbreaks and Heartaches... it really hurts...

<CENSORED>, Please, Please, Please do not leave me as my companion. You are the sunlight that lifted me up more than I've been lifted from in the past. I would feel like hardly a shell of my better self; I would be left in a deep in the darkness state of loneliness and despair. Even worse...I'd probably hire a prostitute out of desperation...that is a fate I do not want to ever feel.

Please don't leave me, <CENSORED>. As a friend, and from my heart, I Love You.

Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Look, I never agreed we were together in a relationship in the first place. I told you I wasn't into having boyfriends. My writing is more important to me right now. I am no one's sweetheart.
And besides, how the hell did they find out all of my usernames that actually linked back to me? I don't remember putting my whole name in those websites. And another thing, ask me if you can put my Penname onto your website. I don't want anyone stealing it. You know how I feel about my gilrl, <CENSORED>.
I don't love you and I hate you for this. Everything was fine until I met you. I don't know why I took up mom's offer to go the social club. I had enough friends here at home and on the internet.}}

{{quotebox|I pray you are feeling better from the recent chaos; I still have lingering heartaches from the "I hate you" and such from that message.

I know it's not much, but apparently your e-mail account remained safe. I am looking into it further, but I do know it was this Tito
dude/troll who found you out, and likely was the one who started that page on the CWCki (it's wikipedia style; anyone can create a page on that damn website). Tito was the one who sent me the e-mail that early morning. I found it after hand-writing and enveloping the letter you may have received Saturday, or will receive in a day or two; that letter was before that matter. And Tito was also the same dude who left you a review leading you to that CWCki page on your <CENSORED> page; he has admitted it in an e-mail he sent me recently. I will be forwarding the two mentioned messages to you shortly.

If you ever come into contact with Tito, or meet him in real life, Do Not Trust Him. I still care for you and your safety and health. Please let me know over the phone or e-mail when you've recovered and we can move forward from this. I do not want to lose our friendship between you and me. (and "Hate" is such a strong word)

Stay Safe. Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Okay, now I'm getting pissed off. First off, stop sending this, I don't want to be reminded of it, second, I told you I'm not your friend anymore, and thirdly, I have a boyfriend now, so back off and leave me alone.}}

{{quotebox|From: Tito Surfshack <surfshacktito@yahoo.com>
To: chrischansonichu@aol.com
Sent: Sun, Mar 14, 2010 2:14 am
Subject: I'VE THOUGHT I EXPLAINED IT LITTLE CUZ (YES)

Ok, man, I'll man up. Yeah, I made it, so what? I was jealous of your beautiful Stephen King lady. But now she hates you and I'm getting with her. Aww yeah. What're you going to do about it little cuz?

And it's not just <CENSORED>. I mean, you drove <CENSORED> away by giving me her name, she's a lost cause, brudda. But what about the other girls? Any girl you'll ever try for thinks you're a loser. You're just some guy who lives with his parents. You used to be the famous creator of sonichu who did all those cool videos and comics, but now you're just some lazy fatass.

Your fans have left you. It's almost too late to get them back. <CENSORED>'s mine. But this is bigger than <CENSORED>, this is every girl you'll ever see.

Think you can turn your public image around? HA, I'd like to see you try.

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY:

"When your itching for the waves, The only lotion, is the ocean."}}

{{quotebox|Don't you GET IT, TITO, the guy you're seeing now, CREATED THAT PAGE on the CWCki, AND he had the balls to let you know in a "Review".

I have been heartaching over this the past days, and I've had sleepless nights over it. For the love of God and Jesus, don't leave me, Please!

Also, I was going to surprise you on St. Patrick's Day, but I feel it appropriate for the sake of protecting you, that I put on my Kilt in your honor against this Hawaiian Troll.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taiBe4ct_So}}

{{quoteboxred|How the fuck would you know? I haven't said any names. Anyway, its none of your business, and he's not Hawaiian either. Do me a huge favor, and stay away from me. And stop calling my phone. I don't care. Leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!}}

{{quoteboxred|You son of a bitch! Leave me and Tito alone! I don't want you to ever to call my cell or house phone again! I want you out of my fucking life and leave me the hell alone! Or I'm going to have to unfortunately drag my parents into this, and you don't want that.

LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU AGAIN, EVER! AND TAKE MY EMAIL OFF YOUR GODDAMN WEBSITE!!!}}

{{quotebox|I fully understand that I probably should not be talking to you now, but you have to understand; you mean a LOT to me. My heart has been hurting since Last Wednesday, and my smiles are rare now. I constantly think of you, and I am very concerned with you going out with this Tito. I HAVE told you that HE IS A TROLL. I forwarded you his confession message. He ONLY WANTS YOU out of JEALOUSY OF ME AND MY LIFE. He does NOT care for you at all; he considers you a "Trophy Girlfriend", and he will never see you as anything other than that. I have been seeing you as a human woman with a charming, sweet personality, untainted by any muscle-headed individuals who only care about themselves. Please, at least, look at him, and ask yourself, "Does Tito REALLY, TRULY care about me as a person, or am I just an Object to him?"

Also, I will be sending you an invitation soon for the party.

Also, please extend my friendly regards to your mom, dad and Maggie and Rachel.

Does Tito really care about you?

Stay Safe, Sweetie.
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|As if I care what you think. I'm only telling you that I have a boyfriend to get you off my back. By the way. you owe mom an apology for waking her up at 7:30 in the morning!!! Thinking it was me and not her. That was very rude of you. Don't call my house again. It also upsetted my dad. And, I know how desperate you are (which makes me sick) to get into contact with me. But I ask you not to call my work and ask for me. I've already asked one of the ladies up front not to accept any calls from you asking for me. I'm not getting my job jepordize because of you.
And, you can't tell me who to date either. That's my choice and mine alone. You have no business in my personal life. And you don't mean anything to me. Stay away from me. This better be the last email.
I don't know how clear I have to get through to your head, to once again, leave me alone, PLEASE!!!}}

{{quotebox|I have never called your house. I have never called you at your job. The only phone number I called you at was your cell phone, and the last time I called your cell was about last Sunday. I swear on my Bible I have never personally called your house or your job. Someone else is calling y'all, pretending to be me.}}

{{quoteboxred|Fine (not like I belive you), but just please leave me alone from now on. I don't want to talk to you again. Do you hear me? }}

{{quotebox|Due to an unexpected trip, the party is being postponed to the following Saturday from stated on the invitation.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|LMAO, Sorry, I won't be able to make it. Besides, I wouldn't go, if you were going to be there. And I'm not going to the thing next week. Because I don't want to do deal with you. BTW. that letter, don't do that again, ever. I wasn't even impressed with your little gift. I threw it away. Not only that, I was pissed when you said that we had been going out for a month and a half. First of all, I never agreed anything of the sort, second, I would never date you. You're not my type.
Also, if you want me to 'stay safe', then you would leave me alone, from phone, email, and mail. I don't want to hear from you ever again, do you hear me?
And, who cares if you're a fucking acoustic virgin? I'd rather have my best friend's boyfriend take me first (because I trust him). then you. Besides, I'm asexual, so there's no hope for you, at least from me. Not only that, not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I.}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Wallflower E-mails 3

2010-09-25T15:19:05Z

Sonichuis44:

{{quoteboxred|Chris,
You need to find someway to delete all of that information about me on your site. And I'm hurt that you didn't ask permission either. I didn't appreciate that. There's only one place that has my real info and that's facebook. And for the last time I am not your sweetheart! I never agreed to be your girlfriend or anyone elses.
Facebook is the only place that knows my real name. and all the other websites I go by <CENSORED>. If someone comes after me, it'll be your fault.
Delete all of that right now. And just for this, we're no longer friends. I'm sorry, but you did this, and it was wrong.
Email me once you've deleted that info, and I'm going to check it. I'm also going to have to change my email thanks to you.}}

{{quotebox|Listen, the "CWCIPEDIA" is my ONE website; not the "CWCki", that belongs to someone else; I will get in touch with the webmaster who created it and try to get it off of there.

I Only referenced you by your Pen Name Once on the Foretaste level I uploaded; NO OTHER TIME, and I have Never referred us as Sweethearts or anything beyond Just Friends. I swear this with hand on my Bible.

I understand I screwed up royally. I also did my best to prevent this by not even stating an inkling of your real name. Why did I have to become such a god damned internet celebrity? I shared my Sonichu stories and art, and for a few years now, I have been Bullied, Tortured, Hacked, and such cruel emotional torment from like thousands to millions of cruel people who took my words and photos and warped them around to their own damned mockery. Even crap they took from me from deceptive methods; pretending to be old friends and "trusting" people online. I had learned long ago to be very careful about most people online and such.

Because of these trolls, I have lost a few friends. They made a page of my old gal pal, Megan Schroeder, on their Encyclopedia Dramatica "Chris_chan" page, I also made the worst mistake of an adult drawing between me and her which was the apex there. She and her family moved to another state, and I lost touch with her long ago. Such a damned mistake I swore never to repeat ever again.

Not only friends, but because of their influence towards the manager, plus an impulse of anger because he would not let me hook up my Wii to his HD TV, I was banned from the Game & Hobby Place June, 2008, and with that I was forced away from the Pok'emon TCG League which I enjoyed going to every Friday.

And as that webmaster states in some exaggeration (some on that damned ED page as well), they tell of the other women I've met online who I lost because of those trolls and my mistakes, as well as the "women" who were trolls themselves. Sarah Jackson, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie and Ivy O'Niel; they were honest women, but they all died between a car accident, the Janurary, 2009 Australia Brushfires, and suicide. And Kacey fell for and married a "Christian Weston Chandler" of Philladelphia who PRETENDED TO BE ME in identity theft on YouTube with a Paper Medallion and a Brown Striped Shirt.

Damn it, they even listed three of my High School gal pals, based from the slideshow from a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD a troll who pretended to be my Primary/Elementary School crush in her adult years.

I should have never put Sonichu on the internet...How was I to know that it would bring me grief less than a decade later.

I have been in a number of moments of finding peace and losing it later, because these damn trolls won't leave me be. They're mostly immature dumbasses who have no lives of their own. They don't want me to have a life of my own; they don't want me to find long-term peace and happiness for myself. They don't want me to find and hold True Love for myself. Because they are so self-absorbed in themselves that they only want me to give them more stories and art more often; they are nothing but greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted fools.

Heartbreaks and Heartaches... it really hurts...

<CENSORED>, Please, Please, Please do not leave me as my companion. You are the sunlight that lifted me up more than I've been lifted from in the past. I would feel like hardly a shell of my better self; I would be left in a deep in the darkness state of loneliness and despair. Even worse...I'd probably hire a prostitute out of desperation...that is a fate I do not want to ever feel.

Please don't leave me, <CENSORED>. As a friend, and from my heart, I Love You.

Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Look, I never agreed we were together in a relationship in the first place. I told you I wasn't into having boyfriends. My writing is more important to me right now. I am no one's sweetheart.
And besides, how the hell did they find out all of my usernames that actually linked back to me? I don't remember putting my whole name in those websites. And another thing, ask me if you can put my Penname onto your website. I don't want anyone stealing it. You know how I feel about my gilrl, <CENSORED>.
I don't love you and I hate you for this. Everything was fine until I met you. I don't know why I took up mom's offer to go the social club. I had enough friends here at home and on the internet.}}

{{quotebox|I pray you are feeling better from the recent chaos; I still have lingering heartaches from the "I hate you" and such from that message.

I know it's not much, but apparently your e-mail account remained safe. I am looking into it further, but I do know it was this Tito
dude/troll who found you out, and likely was the one who started that page on the CWCki (it's wikipedia style; anyone can create a page on that damn website). Tito was the one who sent me the e-mail that early morning. I found it after hand-writing and enveloping the letter you may have received Saturday, or will receive in a day or two; that letter was before that matter. And Tito was also the same dude who left you a review leading you to that CWCki page on your <CENSORED> page; he has admitted it in an e-mail he sent me recently. I will be forwarding the two mentioned messages to you shortly.

If you ever come into contact with Tito, or meet him in real life, Do Not Trust Him. I still care for you and your safety and health. Please let me know over the phone or e-mail when you've recovered and we can move forward from this. I do not want to lose our friendship between you and me. (and "Hate" is such a strong word)

Stay Safe. Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Okay, now I'm getting pissed off. First off, stop sending this, I don't want to be reminded of it, second, I told you I'm not your friend anymore, and thirdly, I have a boyfriend now, so back off and leave me alone.}}

{{quotebox|From: Tito Surfshack <surfshacktito@yahoo.com>
To: chrischansonichu@aol.com
Sent: Sun, Mar 14, 2010 2:14 am
Subject: I'VE THOUGHT I EXPLAINED IT LITTLE CUZ (YES)

Ok, man, I'll man up. Yeah, I made it, so what? I was jealous of your beautiful Stephen King lady. But now she hates you and I'm getting with her. Aww yeah. What're you going to do about it little cuz?

And it's not just <CENSORED>. I mean, you drove <CENSORED> away by giving me her name, she's a lost cause, brudda. But what about the other girls? Any girl you'll ever try for thinks you're a loser. You're just some guy who lives with his parents. You used to be the famous creator of sonichu who did all those cool videos and comics, but now you're just some lazy fatass.

Your fans have left you. It's almost too late to get them back. <CENSORED>'s mine. But this is bigger than <CENSORED>, this is every girl you'll ever see.

Think you can turn your public image around? HA, I'd like to see you try.

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY:

"When your itching for the waves, The only lotion, is the ocean."}}

{{quotebox|Don't you GET IT, TITO, the guy you're seeing now, CREATED THAT PAGE on the CWCki, AND he had the balls to let you know in a "Review".

I have been heartaching over this the past days, and I've had sleepless nights over it. For the love of God and Jesus, don't leave me, Please!

Also, I was going to surprise you on St. Patrick's Day, but I feel it appropriate for the sake of protecting you, that I put on my Kilt in your honor against this Hawaiian Troll.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taiBe4ct_So}}

{{quoteboxred|How the fuck would you know? I haven't said any names. Anyway, its none of your business, and he's not Hawaiian either. Do me a huge favor, and stay away from me. And stop calling my phone. I don't care. Leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!}}

{{quoteboxred|You son of a bitch! Leave me and Tito alone! I don't want you to ever to call my cell or house phone again! I want you out of my fucking life and leave me the hell alone! Or I'm going to have to unfortunately drag my parents into this, and you don't want that.

LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU AGAIN, EVER! AND TAKE MY EMAIL OFF YOUR GODDAMN WEBSITE!!!}}

{{quotebox|I fully understand that I probably should not be talking to you now, but you have to understand; you mean a LOT to me. My heart has been hurting since Last Wednesday, and my smiles are rare now. I constantly think of you, and I am very concerned with you going out with this Tito. I HAVE told you that HE IS A TROLL. I forwarded you his confession message. He ONLY WANTS YOU out of JEALOUSY OF ME AND MY LIFE. He does NOT care for you at all; he considers you a "Trophy Girlfriend", and he will never see you as anything other than that. I have been seeing you as a human woman with a charming, sweet personality, untainted by any muscle-headed individuals who only care about themselves. Please, at least, look at him, and ask yourself, "Does Tito REALLY, TRULY care about me as a person, or am I just an Object to him?"

Also, I will be sending you an invitation soon for the party.

Also, please extend my friendly regards to your mom, dad and Maggie and Rachel.

Does Tito really care about you?

Stay Safe, Sweetie.
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|As if I care what you think. I'm only telling you that I have a boyfriend to get you off my back. By the way. you owe mom an apology for waking her up at 7:30 in the morning!!! Thinking it was me and not her. That was very rude of you. Don't call my house again. It also upsetted my dad. And, I know how desperate you are (which makes me sick) to get into contact with me. But I ask you not to call my work and ask for me. I've already asked one of the ladies up front not to accept any calls from you asking for me. I'm not getting my job jepordize because of you.
And, you can't tell me who to date either. That's my choice and mine alone. You have no business in my personal life. And you don't mean anything to me. Stay away from me. This better be the last email.
I don't know how clear I have to get through to your head, to once again, leave me alone, PLEASE!!!}}

{{quotebox|I have never called your house. I have never called you at your job. The only phone number I called you at was your cell phone, and the last time I called your cell was about last Sunday. I swear on my Bible I have never personally called your house or your job. Someone else is calling y'all, pretending to be me.}}

{{quoteboxred|Fine (not like I belive you), but just please leave me alone from now on. I don't want to talk to you again. Do you hear me? }}

{{quotebox|Due to an unexpected trip, the party is being postponed to the following Saturday from stated on the invitation.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|LMAO, Sorry, I won't be able to make it. Besides, I wouldn't go, if you were going to be there. And I'm not going to the thing next week. Because I don't want to do deal with you. BTW. that letter, don't do that again, ever. I wasn't even impressed with your little gift. I threw it away. Not only that, I was pissed when you said that we had been going out for a month and a half. First of all, I never agreed anything of the sort, second, I would never date you. You're not my type.
Also, if you want me to 'stay safe', then you would leave me alone, from phone, email, and mail. I don't want to hear from you ever again, do you hear me?
And, who cares if you're a fucking acoustic virgin? I'd rather have my best friend's boyfriend take me first (because I trust him). then you. Besides, I'm asexual, so there's no hope for you, at least from me. Not only that, not even a cheap whore would want your small dick inside her, neither would I.}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Wallflower E-mails 2

2010-09-25T15:18:23Z

Sonichuis44:

Continues from the original [[Wallflower E-mails]].

{{quotebox|I hear you loud and clear; you should write a full book. You are a well-detailed and creative storyteller. Maybe you can write a book were everything is from the wise owl's perspective. Take Harry Potter's owl; he tells Harry's story and guieds him, but surely there is more to the owl, like did he have an owl family of his own? Or if he was originally a king or a wizard, how does the wife/sweetheart and/or his human/half-owl children feel having an owl to look up to, especially while he's flying? And going into Owl Biology can inspire a more in-depth look at owls from your view.

I'll bet you wrote a lot of papers on Owls in High School that earned a lot of "A" grades. When I wrote paers for my classes, I did very well, including research on which is better caffiene-wise and better for people, soda or coffee. I also wrote great stories, poetry and literature essays.

Although what I enjoyed most from my H.S. days, was being around my circle of friends. I was very sad when I hd to leave them behind, but I am looking forward to the reunion lter this year. I was also manger/water-boy for the varsity basketball team during my freshman year... I think I've mentioned that before. :)

TTYL. Stay Safe,
Christian c.}}

{{quoteboxred|You know, that sounds like a really great idea. Maybe we can work together, you being the researcher and I can do the writing. One thing I haven't told you yet is that I love working together with someone on a story. It's one of my favorite things to do. I'd like to do more often.
Btw, Harry's owl is Hedwig and she's a female owl. I have written a couple of stories dealing with the owl universe. And this was before Guardians of Ga'Hoole, a total owl fantasy, and my number one favorite series, and Hoot.
I wrote one back in highschool, called the <CENSORED>. This was about the same time I wrote this other one, <CENSORED>, cause it basically had the same 'human characters'.
Anyhow, in <CENSORED>, the story was told in two characters pov's, one was a female owl and a girl, who ran the observatory. The girl's mission was to save the owls in Owlwood, from the hunters/bullies from her and her friends' school. Somewhere, the owl and the girl's two world collide with each other. Harper, a goshawk (I can crossbreed birds), is a pet of the main owl hunter, Turner. They both wanted one thing; Harper wanted the female owl, and Turner wanted the girl. But the girl's guy friends came around and helped her the female owl.
Mind you, this explanation is from my memory, and I've only read it a few times, when it was completed.}}

{{quotebox|I take it you are referring in working together on the owl's point of view story. I'd be delighted to do some research on how owl families live, as well as people who have owls as pets, and we can put our minds together in imagining the life of the husband king who was turned into an owl and the family life. This can be a good series as well. Here's a fun idea, Once a month, during the Full Moon, the owl becomes human again during the short while, but turns back into his owl self at daybreak. And during those nights, he can satisfy his wife greatly. I smell a Book Saga for young adults. ;)}}

{{quoteboxred|Lol. Sounds good to me. I've got a couple of books: one is Owls of the United States & Canada, and Owls of the World. Here's a website I found, to help you get started: http://www.owlpages.com/.}}

{{quotebox|I apologize for not responding sooner, but I was busy finishing up my tenth comic book yesterday/last night for upload onto the Cwcipedia.

I'm glad you enjoyed the concert. I would be delighted to come over to your house and meet your folks and all. I can come over in the late part of the afternoon; I'll call you to let you know when I'm on my way there. I've got an appointment at 1:00 with my local mechanic to check the muffler on my car; it may have a hole in it from either age or one of the attempts of getting it out of the snow. It sounds like there's nothing wrong, but it's better to be safe then sorry. Anyway, I think I'll be able to make it to your house by 4. I will also bring my PSP and my memory stick of photos. Monday sounds good for the Pizza outing.

I like what you've come up with for our owl story. One detail, "Owl Transformation", it is okay; have you considered that <CENSORED> could have more natural or elemental powers along with transformation, although we will be seeing that a lot from her? Like she can have the wizard powers to heal, increase attack and defense and so forth. I'm thinking she could say, "Mystical Owl Power", followed by the desired spell, "Transformation to (owl breed)", "Healing", "Attack Increase", etc.

Assuming we're still on base with the King being an owl most of the time, it may be good to think of a few characters he has advised with wisdom to aid them in their education, battle or quest, because in the war between him and the crows and goshawks, the students can come in and aid our King Owl in his battle.

We should also come up with a title for the book (series), "King Owl" is good for start. We may come up with a possibly better title that may feature both the King and <CENSORED>; it should be direct, yet subtle. One title idea I had thought of earlier, to play on the family part, "Family Owl".

I'll wrap it up for now, and I look forward to coming by your house later today.

Stay Safe,
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey,
Sorry this is short notice, but I forgot that Mom had something planned for me on Monday. So I can't do TipTop. I'm sorry We'll set it up for another time, I promise. And I think some of my coworkers are planning to go out on Friday, and they've invited me to go with them. And I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I would like some space between visits. I like you and you're nice, but I only just met you. I am no mood for an actual relationship.
And during the once a month thing, I want to visit with the other young adults too.
~Also, please don't pesture to me about our story, I do have a lot of stories that I'm working on, and ideas don't come to me that easy.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to be honest.}}

{{quotebox|It's cool, <CENSORED>. I understand that you need your space, and there is no rush anyway. Just talking and hanging is good enough for me. I care about you and I like you too. You let me know when it's okay to come by and visit; perhaps once a week until you feel more than that is good. I was thinking that during the next visit, I can bring my DVD of Mary Poppins and we can just sit and enjoy it together after suppertime.

I won't pester you too much about our story. Although, I have come up with an idea on how we can start the story in the first book. In a nutshell, we open on one of Alister's students going in and getting a relic from Mt. Thunderstone, then heads home to his family after seeing the dude's safe and well. I also was thinking that Zelina and <CENSORED> can be mentor-type friends, where they hang out and advise each other in their family or royalty situations. Darkbind can be another of Alister's students. And Clawdorf can be the ringleader of the enemy animal clans. I'll go further in detail next time we talk or meet.

And I wanted to check, where in Heartland are the Castle Virginanaus and Temple Athena Pathenon located, compass-wise?

Something else that happened to me today, I got in the mail a Birthday Present from one of my fans. The dude ordered it and had it gift-shipped to me on Amazon, it's a Fiction/Philosophy novel from Jostein Gaarder, "Sophie's World". I'll be giving it a read-through over the next few weeks.

Let me know how you enjoyed "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" movie, and if you have any questions about the Adobe Photodeluxe program. And what does Joann have planned for you Monday, and how it went?

And I'll let you know of other ideas or thoughts I have in general. I'm still waiting for the first L.O.T.R. movie from Netflix; I'll probably get it in my mailbox on Monday or so.

I'll let you go for now, and I will TTYL (talk to you later).

Stay Safe with Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thanks for your understanding, I do appreciate it. Well, today I hung out with dad. We had lunch at El Puerto, which was good as always. And then we went to Barnes & Nobles. I bought the second Percy Jackson book and the soundtrack. Plus, I didn't know it was out, but I also got the seventh book of the Ranger's Apprentice (very good series btw). I'll be starting on that as soon as Im done with The Lightning Thief. (Just for your info, I wouldn't mind seeing the movie again) And call me crazy, but I'm not to fond of the old Disney non-animated classics, doesn't suit well for me. Oh, Tomorrow (Feb. 28) we picked out to be Rachel's bday. She'll be one year old.

Oh yeah, don't hesitate to send me ideas for the story, it will get me motivated to write them. And speaking of bday's, I think <CENSORED> bday should be on the summer solstice (June 21st), what do you think? And keep coming with names. they're good.}}

{{quotebox|The Summer Solstice sounds like a great birthday for <CENSORED>. I am not all that familiar with the holiday, but I have heard of it from a limited-time distributed Add-On costume for LittleBiGPlanet. Speaking of LBP, I am thinking of creating a level based on our first Guardian of the Owl Kingdom story. Most likely, I will create new story plots and arcs in the process, and I look forward to reading your most valued input from your future thinks and ideas. I have created about 5 to 10 levels which have been uploaded onto the LBP server, one of which is based on my first episode of Sonichu; his and Rosechu's origins.

Also, just to make it clear, Zelina and Darkbind, of the kingdom of Rulecwc, are Rosechu and Sonichu respectively. And Clawdorf is a kind of warlock monster character; all I have of him is a 3 or 4 finger hands and a black cloak and hood, but he can be a combination of all of the enemy creatures we have come up with so far.

What I have so far on that can be read in some of my comic pages. But in short, Darkbind Sonichu and Princess Zelina Rosechu have been sweethearts. In a cave in Rulecwc forest one day, Clawdorf released the power of the seven Chaotic Crystals (A.K.A. Sonichu Ball Crystals); he turned to stone and Zelina fell into a deep slumber. A few years later, the original Sonichu donned the power of the 7 Crystals and reawakened Zelina (Clawdorf was also destoned in the process).

The King and Queen of Rulecwc have no biological children. But from the Chaotic Rainbow of Sonichu and Rosechu's Origin, many Sonee and Rosey (baby Sonichu and Rosechu) eggs were released throughout the world, time and space. One egg landed in the audience of their highnesses, and Zelina Rosey hatched out; they adopted her and dubbed her successor to the throne. The egg with Darkbind Sonee landed somewhere in Rulecwc Forest; after evolving to Darkbind Sonichu, he was found by a rogue master swordsman (sort of like Link from Legend of Zelda) and trained under his guidance, also with later guidance from our owl, King Alistair.

But I digress (as I learned that quote from the owl, Blathers in Animal Crossing).

It is nice that you had an enjoyable and good day yesterday.
Perhaps we can still make it a dinner and a movie night between the Tip Top and The Lightning Thief. How does this coming Wednesday or Thursday look for you?
Patti was born on March 17, 1988, as our local vet had determined for us. It's good you've decided on Feb. 28 for Rachel, but if you want to make it clear, you could let your vet determine that for you.
Well, Mary Poppins has a great animated segment with dancing penguins, a fox hunt, horse race and a magical carousal, and altogether is a great movie starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke. You can sample a few clips on YouTube. It is my favorite movie of all time. Toy Story is my second favorite movie.

Also, I liked your room and the spacious set up for that whole upper story for yourself. I bet you get a great view from the upper central arch window; see the stars, the early morning sunlight and all that. My room is a big room, but I have a lot of stuff in it; it can be more spacious, yet I'm unsure where to put some of it all. LOL Mostly, though, I do get the majority of the upper floor to myself, including the main fridge and kitchen, and the bathroom with a tub. I had a bedroom with a door to a bath with a standing shower, like you have, when my family and I were living in the Newberry Town area during my High School years. Personally, I enjoyed the standing shower better than the tub w. shower head. At least between you and me, we both are enjoying the upper-story privacy life.

You enjoy the rest of the Sunday, and I will TTYL. Here's thinkin' of you, <CENSORED>. Stay safe with love and peace,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey,
how are you? I'm doing good. My concert was incrediable! It was nothing like the dvd, and they did my favorite song twice. Once before the break, and the other time was for the encore. The song is called, Mo Ghile Mear. This was their first time in Charlottesville, and they added four or five brand new songs. I got a dvd, a tshirt, and a souvineer book. If they came back next year, I would definitely go again. I'm going to wear my cw shirt on friday.
Speaking of Friday, to be honest, we should wait to do TipTop later. I think it would be too much for one evening. I still want to go, either Monday or Tuesday might be better, so far, I have nothing planned. Besides, I like taking a nap, so I can be well rested for the evening fun. I hope that's okay.

Is there anyway we can talk online? It would be so helpful, then to just email back and forth. If you can download yahoo messenger, it would be easier. If you can, my screenname is <CENSORED>. Oh how about this: what are you doing tomorrow? You could come over, and meet my mom and we can start on a few things on our story. The only thing I'm doing is my laundry. You can give me a call as soon as you read this. I will answer this time, I promise.

So just a few things about our story:

1. the crows and the goshawks are mortal enemies to the owls and king.
2. the goddess Athena. has to be worshipped by the king and country.
3. the king's daughter, <CENSORED> (she has to be in here, somewhere), is the protector of the owls, and she can transform into any kind of owl she wants at will. She wears a golden, oval shaped necklace, given to her by her mother at birth. Inside is a silver carved owl and on the other side, has her title written in Greek handwiting: Daughter of Athena, protector of the owls. And at the bottom of her title, has the words, Owl Tranformation written below it. When she wants to transform, she has to say, 'Go owl transform' and the owl's given name: example is, "Go Owl Transform, Tyto Alba!" Meaning, the barn owl.

How she is summoned:
A. when the silver owl turns RED, the owl is either in trouble, sick, or is dying.
B. when the silver owl turns GREEN, her owl friends wants to hang out.
C. when the silver owl turns BLUE, there is an urgent meeting that she needs to attend to.

4. the 'owl kingdom' is called Owlwood, and it surrounds the capital where the palace is located in.

The rest we can come up with together. So what do you think? Do you think its a good start?}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey,
So I have a surprise for you. I made this website that is dedicated to one of my absolutely favorite fanfiction stories. Its called <CENSORED>. My friend Ashley, and I have been working for about three to four years (when she was going to VCU). It's a very entertaining story, very PG rated. Its got multiple crossovers and references and they are YuGiOh GX. Sailor Moon, Code Lyoko, star wars/trek, Harry Potter, and Narnia. This story was made about the time I was obsessed with GX and watching Code Lyoko on tv.
Anyway, here's the website: <CENSORED>. Check out the characters' pictures too. Its not perfect, but its nearly there. and I don't have a picture folder for the 'anime' <CENSORED> yet. I'm still working on her. Let me know how you like it.
Okay nap time, and then Ghost Hunters (Im so excited!)}}

{{quotebox|That's very good, I have bookmarked it for later. A few things, I am setting up my YahhoIM on my PC for us to chat on after I get operational. My Yahoo e-mail I chose solely for this is one I previously used for a PSN sign in ID, but (the PSN then) was hacked months ago then recovered and changed to the next address. Anyway, add this to your YIM friend list, BibleHomeNation@yahoo.com. Please remind me of what yours is in your reply.

Second, I need a reminder of the owl breed Alistair and <CENSORED> are, and please send me a few character pics you showed me last time, and the scan or link to the image of Alistair's owl breed. I am attaching a few pics from my LittleBiGPlanet game I took of the sackperson in the various character for our Owl Guardian story level; I think it will be obvious who's who; your feedback will be appreciated.

Third, I miss being around you; can we schedule a visit this coming Saturday, please? We can make that our Tip Top and movie day as well.

I gtg for now, but I will TTYL, may be on the YIM.

Stay safe and sweet,
Christian.}}

{{quotebox|My bad. Anyway, there are two of Sackboy in custom costumes for Alistair, and one of each for Moira, <CENSORED> and Logan.}}

{{quotebox|I'm just sending you a reminder to send me the story prologue we talked about.

I found a blank audio cassette at the local Goodwill; I will be burning the Celtic tracks onto it from my PS3 source for playback in my car later today. Also, I am going to check the routing of my cable to my VCR, DVD Burner and TV; I also need to check the power link on my VCR. It went out like during the 20-inch snowfall during the half-hour power failure we had here. IDK why I didn't get to it sooner; I was likely doing well between the cable and the digital videos. For my setup, normally it would be VERY hard to get behind there, but all I really have to do is dishook and temporarily remove my Genesis, Dreamcast, Wii and the shelf they're sitting on in my entertainment center. Afterwards, it's like poking your head and upper torso through an open window. "Hey, Neighbor, you left your RF Switch and AV on my lawn again!" LOL

I've learned a bunch of my techno know-how and connections from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends (a cable term for each respective ends of any cable, which are visually obvious). I used to have like 5 to 10 RF switches linking my consoles; the links were good, but the farther away from the TV it was, the more lousy the picture/audio would be due to the multiple refresh relays. I am now on a pair of switch boxes, as well as the Composite/Component (Red/White/Yellow and Red/White/Red/Blue/Green respectively) and the HDMI on my HDTV. With that experience, I probably would have made a good "Larry the Cable Guy", but without the slurry attitude and bigger body type, and the fact that his name was NOT really Larry and that he was never in reality a Cable Guy. Still, he was good at voicing Mater in Disney's "Cars".

But I digress. I'll call you tonight to set up our next day together, and any other new story ideas and topics. You mentioned that you were also on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger); we could have been text-talking on that instead of waiting for my YIM to be Mr. Fickle-to-Install this whole time. Still, we learn.

I'll TTYL. Have a good and safe day.
Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

{{quotebox|Right after I sent the last e-mail, I did my work; checking the AV cables and the power on my VCR; yeah, the power supply or the motherboard got fried or something during that power failure a couple months ago; it would not come back on at all, even when plugged in again and again. So I re-routed the cable and the AV to go through my DVD Burner; I can record the two "Merlin" episodes onto a blank DVD-R, which I have plenty of those.

Also, I had a VHS in the VCR, so I had to play surgeon with my phillips screwdriver and a pair of tweezers to remove the VHS, very carefully. I succeeded in the removal, then I put the VCR back together the way it was; I will most likely be taking it, and its remote control, to a Goodwill, where their tech people can try to get the VCR operational again, then sell it to someone else. I tell you, I have taken apart a few of my old game consoles, and I took a PC Upgrading course at PVCC; you would be amazed how the inside of those wonders of technology would look. The VCR was a new one to me today; I had no idea it literally lifted up the back flap of a VHS, then pulled the tape towards the reading mechanisms. I always thought the VHS went directly downward onto the reading parts; I never thought it would lift up that flap part.

Technology is amazing.

Anyway, I got to warm up something to eat. I'll call you tonight. Stay safe.

Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

(Continued in [[Wallflower E-mails 3]])

[[Category:E-mails]]

Wallflower E-mails 2

2010-09-25T15:17:33Z

Sonichuis44:

Wallflower E-mails 1

2010-09-25T15:16:23Z

Sonichuis44:

[[The Wallflower]] e-mails were some emails leaked to the public on 25 September 2010.

Chris's Emails are in blue, the Wallflower's in red, and Tito's attached message in green.

They were attached to a message from [[Tito]]:

{{quoteboxgreen|
Subject: HELLO CUZ, I HAVE A PACKAGE FOR YOU

Been a long time since the [[PS3]] incident, brudda! I've been too busy boning a certain special someone who is mentioned in these e-mails! (wink emoticon)

I hope you don't mind me forgetting about these e-mails, cuz! I'm trying to protect her so some things are censored, brudda. As you know, she is still furious at him. I always say "you too nice, cuz" but I loved the last bit she did.

As the Ancient Hawaiians used to say:

"The sands of time will make even the eternal coconut fade away."

P.S. vegemite is good}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey, so you wanted to see my websites? Well, here are the links.

1. <CENSORED>

2. <CENSORED>

3. <CENSORED>

4. <CENSORED>

Also, my yahoo messenger is <CENSORED>.
Have fun looking around. }}

{{quotebox|Hey, <CENSORED>. :) I have read some of your work, and I am enjoying your writing style; you have a great imagination and you are very creative. I may have missed it during our last talk, but how did you think of <CENSORED> for a pen name?

Anyway, other things on my mind. I have read from you <CENSORED> bio page that you are about non-stop on listening to [[music]]; that is cool. My father has raised me on a variety of jazz, classic, country, "jugs, kazoos and washboards" music and others. I like all kinds of music, as long as it has a good beat and the lyrics are comprehensible. Mostly I listen to Pop and Lite Rock, but I do occasionally enjoy the classics. My favorite artists are [[Britney Spears]] and the Backstreet Boys (I like a lot of others as well, but the list would take me a while to type, and I have like way over 1,000 tracks on my Playstation 3 HDD.

Mostly, I enjoy drawing, writing and playing [[video games]], but I do get out often for good exercise, plus some more exercise playing [[Guitar Hero]] (I stand to play; it is a great way to go wild in a rockin' way). As you know, I update my [[CWCipedia]] most daily with at least answering my letters in the [[mailbag]], rather or not I upload a new page or two to my [[comic]] pages. (Just a reminder, ignore all the current ads, especially the oversized ones that occupy the top space of every page; this guy, [[Mao]], of his copycat website called the [[Asperpedia]] have bought out the previous person who had control of the adspace. Now he is abusing me with cheap shots at things that irritate me; people can be so cruel and vicious) I am working on finding someone locally in [[C-Ville]] who has a piece of citizenship within Europe who can buy out the adspace and all that. I'm hoping I can get someone like the [[Coca Cola]] company or even a videogame company like Rockstar or something to help me out there. The hateful letters I get are minuscule compared to having to cope with the oversized cheap-shot taunts from that S.O.B. of Asperpedia.

*sigh* But I digress. You can still enjoy the comic pages I have drawn from my Book 0 to the latest page in 10.

I mentioned a book to you earlier, "The Giver"; the author is Lois Lowry, and I highly recommend it. I quote the preview on my copy of the book's back, "Jonas's world is perfect. Everything is under control. There is no war or fear or pain. There are no choices. Every person is assigned a role in the Community. When Jonas turns twelve he is singled out to received special train from The Giver. The Giver alone holds the memories of the true pain and pleasure of life. Now it's time for Jonas to receive the truth. There is no turning back." Lois received the "John Newbery [[Medal]]" for this book and another she wrote.

To learn more about each other, let's learn some basics; I'll ask you a question, to respond in your reply or phone/IM conversation, and I give you my answer right after each question. -What is your favorite color? Mine is Blue. -Do you have a favorite Ice Cream flavor? I like Mint/Chocolate Chip. -What are some of your other hobbies that haven't been shared yet? I also enjoy building with [[Lego]] bricks and pieces, I collected Transformers and other toys, and doing chores around the house. -Do you currently go to, or have already completed, College? I went to [[Pidemont Virginia Community College]] for a few years and earned a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design ([[CADD]]). -What is your favorite food to eat? Mine is Macaroni & Cheese. -What is your choice Pizza Topping? I go for Spinach and Mushroom, although I have also enjoyed Eggplant. I'll come up with more as time goes by. :)

I'll wrap it up for now, but I will call you tonight at about 7:30; I hope to talk to you some more. :) Your laughter and voice sweetly thrills my mind like robins twittering their song after the sunrise.

Stay Safe, 
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. well, for one thing, I had the name <CENSORED> for at least three years. I saw it in a fanfiction I read about 3 years ago, and I really liked it, so I kept it for myself ( I guess I can't really claim it). Yeah, I liked Backstreet Boys, but that was during high school, I still listen to them occasionally. I don't like most kinds of music, especially country. But I also like soundtracks (from the movies I've seen), songs or scores, doesn't matter. 
2. Thanks, I like my writing style too. Like I said, I've been writing since 8th grade and haven't stopped. So I guess when you looked at my bio at <CENSORED>, you probably know my hobbies, ,movies, music, and shows. I guess I haven't updated on my shows in awhile, since Sanctuary isn't on the list. By the way, you can watch season 2 on [[Youtube]]. I've been watching those to catch up on the season. 
3. to answer questions: my fav color(s) is red, black, emerald, & turqouise (i hate that word, spelling it I mean), I like mint chocolate chip too (but it has to be green), I also like dove bars and nutty buddy (I used to eat those at school too). For my other hobbies, I love studying/reading about owls. I have three good books about them. I didn't go to college, but I did take a course on computers (that sucked) at [[PVCC]]. I think I just like working, and having my four days off. Hmm, thats hard. I really like spaghetti with just butter, orville microwave popcorn (my dad also makes really good popcorn), and I love seafood (shellfish, catfish), definitely prime ribs ( i grew up on those), and of course I love Japanese food (shrimp tempura and smoked eel sushi). Mostly I like cheese and black olives (not the expensive kind), but at TipTop, I love gyro meat and mushroom.
I also love watching my anime from time to time.}}

{{quotebox|I agree with you on the Ice Cream; I have tried both the Green and the White M.C.C.s, and I liked the Green better. In fact, when I first tried the flavor, it was Green. Gyro Meat, and I have had Gyro Sandwiches before, is a bit of steak, so Steak and Mushrooms are your choice, cool. I hear you on the spelling of turquoise, it's like you have to have a spell-checker for it, OR have one of Crayola's thick markers or original crayon and read the word from the side. :-D But it does seem we both are on the blue-side, since emerald and turquoise are shades of green, which is made of blue and yellow. I have not tried Dove candy bars, but my family and I like Nutty Buddy bars.

My personal experience at PVCC could have been better; it sucked for me too. Mostly because I didn't have too many friends there, and that was where my [[Sweetheart Search]] had started at (which you'll read about a bit in my [[Sub-Episodes]] of my comics). The [[Slaweel Ryam]] character was originally based of of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the "Dean of Student Services". I have some troubles with authority awareness; Unless it is as high as a President, Principle, or the [[Police]] People in Blue/Black or something like that, if they get on my nerves, I gave little regard and look down upon them. I am better on that nowadays. In a nutshell, in my early days of my Search, I had a [[sign]] next to me (later learning from my [[mother]] that it made me look [[retarded]]) letting the ladies know I was single (I was way more shy back then, even to speak), and Mary came to me, grabbed my sign and ripped it up right in front of me... it shattered my [[heart]]. So I took it out creatively by making her a major villain in my books. I forgave her about [[October 2009|October of 2009]], and I drew and framed (with a nice frame I bought from a Goodwill) an apology drawing/note; she responded to me with a Trespassing Notice, which was snail-mailed to me a couple of days later. My family and I did not accept it, and we fought it for a little while. Slaweel and I are to have our final battle, put her in jail and remove her as a major villain in the 10th book I'm working on now. [[Count Graduon]] will be the Major Villain beyond then, possessing the[[ Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on the moon back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].

Do you keep with current events locally as well? I do sometimes. I've followed the story of the search for Morgan Dana Harrington; I never met her, and I was not at the Metallica concert, but I just could not ignore it. I paid my respects an early Sunday last December at the push-pin board on the bridge by the J.P.J. and left a note saying that she has a lot of people worrying about her and that she come back home safely, with a little [[Sonichu]]/[[Rosechu]] drawing on that note. I wonder how it stood the test of time over the weather; I plan on checking it the next time I'm there. It saddened me a bit on how they found her dead in a hayfield on the farm, but at least we don't have to question her condition anymore. Also, I showed my respect for the Haiti victims with a drawing on the Cwcipedia, and I read this morning in the Washington Post about how a little girl miraculously survived for 15 days under steel and concrete rubble. Most of the time, I don't pay attention to most news topics due to bad news or that it can confuse me. I am no Stock Market expert. :-D

I have more drawing and coloring to do today, so I'll wrap it up for now. Also, I was thinking about inviting you to some hang-out time, and maybe dinner, one day next week. I can pick you up at the wellness center after you finish work, or meet you at [[Fashion Square]] or Downtown Mall, and we'll share a nice afternoon together. My treat on all edibles. I was thinking next Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. How do you feel about that?

Stay Safe, 
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|That actually sounds nice. Wednesday would be good, but we have to be back before nine for the Ghost Hunters of course. I guess I haven't mention to you yet, but I love getting emails, its like a treat. Do you like Mexican? I have a favorite resturaunt (i hate that word too) I like to go to. It's also cheap. Usually less then 30 bucks, though depends what you order, I guess. By the way, just to be honest, and I like mentioned to you on that Friday, I'm not totally ready to be in a relationship yet. Definitely friends. I'm not the romantic type. I devote my time with work and stories. Lol, sometimes my friends try to force me out of the house. Just to get me some fresh air, and out of my chair, and away from my 'prescious' laptop. 
Yeah, I don't follow the news or local ones, unless it delts with my fav music group (like the CW coming to CVille). Oh, you asked me if I have a [[religion]]. Well, I don't really, but I worship the Ghost Hunters ([[Ghostbusters|does that count?]]). Anyway, I updated my <CENSORED> account, finally mentioning that I love Sanctuary and most of its characters. And I'm about to update one of my stories, called Penance. Its on that Ghost Hunters/Sanctuary site I created. Anyway, there's a story you might like, that I wrote. It has two characters from Celtic Thunder and a couple of original characters. I'll email you that story if you want.}}

{{quotebox|No problem, I'll have you back home before 9:00. So, I can assume I'm picking you up from work, yes? I will be there shortly before 3:30. I won't force you, but I'd like to keep the option for a relationship with you open for when you feel ready, but please let me know when you do feel the love. I am a patient man. I do like mexican. By 30 bucks, would that be per couple or per person; either way, I can afford that.

Comically, I don't most churches would count Ghost Hunters a religion. LOL. My least favorite word of ALL time is "[[naive]]", NOT because of how it is spelt, but it questions and belittles ones intelligence and experience. I am well-experienced and knowledgeable in a lot of things.

Not much else on my mind right now, it blanked out on me; I hate it when it does that.

I'll call you later. 
Stay Safe, 
Christian C.}}

{{quotebox|An update for our night at the Celtic Women concert; I understand it will be at 8:00, so let's plan our meet at the Barrack's Road Taco Bell at 6:30-7:00 that night. I'll treat you to dinner then if you wish. Also, my mother wishes to tag along to meet you and your parental escort and to keep hold of my car. She and my dad have advised that since the Taco Bell is within walking distance, you and I can walk over to the J.P.J. Arena from there. Post-Concert is currently undetermined, but can be discussed and decided at the T.B. before you and I walk there. Optionally, you and I can walk back to T.B. and I can drive you back to your house; my mom in my car, or your parent in their car, can pick us up at the J.P.J. Still, it's less than a month away; plenty of time to make final decisions and agreements.

:-) 
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey, so I hope you don't mind, but I mentioned the concert to one of my co-workers, and she was really excited. I really hope this won't offend you in anyway, and I hope we can still be friends. But I would much rather be going with her, since I've known her longer (3 & a 1/2 years). Plus, she's taking me to Rhode Island this May for a week, so consider it like I owe her for that. Also, she absolutely loves Celtic music. 
But don't worry, I still want to hang out on Wednesday or Friday. 
Can you forgive me? Hopefully there might be another oppurtunity.}}

{{quotebox|I hope you got my voicemail I left you the other night. BTW, Saturdays are my British Comedy Night, and I had the new bunch of Fox animation tonight to watch. Anyway, I am still looking forward to taking you out on Wednesday. A couple of details to check with: the <CENSORED> is on <CENSORED>, right? And what's the name of the Mexican restaurant I'm taking you to? Also, before the restaurant, I plan on taking you to either the Downtown Mall or Fashion Square for our walk-and-talk hang-out; which location would you prefer. And after checking this week's "Hook", I will end the time with some good tunes. Don't worry, I promise to get you home before 9:00.

I'll TTYL; again, no hard feelings on the Concert plans; still feel a bit crestfallen though.

Stay Safe, 
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thanks for understanding. I was getting slightly worried for a moment, cause of the change in plans. Yes, the address is correct. Um, I think from the weather's pov, fashion square would be better. and for my favorite mexican resaurant is El Puerto, and I know exactly where that is. 
Oh, fair warning, I usually take a nap around 4:30, so if I seem tired and slightly grumpy. don't hold it against you. It's just the way I function. BTW, I so cannot wait, I only have one week to wait until Celtic Thunder comes out with their new cd, Its Entertainment. I am so excited (is jumping up and down)}}

{{quotebox|I hope y'all are keeping warm and safe; we're snowed in here for the while. My dad estimates we might not be out and about again until tuesday or thursday; at least I'll shoot to shovel on monday.

I watched the Tasmanian supreme court house investigation on G.H.I.; I thought it was neat how even though they found little about them, the hands popped up for everyone else. And the fireflies in the castle answered a lot of mysteries there.

I was thinking, after this batch of snow, perhaps the week after the 14th, I would pick you up again and treat you to a gyro pizza at the Tip Top on Pantops, and maybe a movie (at a theater or your place; if your place, I'll rent a sci-fi flick and bring it over).

I'll call you tonight for a chat. Keep safe and warm, 
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey Chris, 
So about Wednesday, I think there might be a little too much going on. Cause I'm going to the concert and dinner with my co-worker, Kris. (Depends on the weather too) And that's like going out to dinner three times. Next week might be a little better. Plus, I'm hoping to go see The Lightning Thief again tomorrow with my best friends. 
Anyway, I'll talk later. :)}}

{{quotebox|That's okay. I have been working very hard on getting my car out; it's still stuck at the moment, so I was going to ask you to postpone the Tip Top lunch to next week anyway. It's cool. At least you got to enjoy the movie anyway. I'll keep an eye open for other movies or things to do. Actually, I've just had an idea; since we'll be having the next Young Adult Social Group meeting Friday of next week, how about I pick you up from work, we go to the Tip Top, then I drive us to the Key Center for the meet, and I can drive you home after. I'll bring my [[PSP]] with the memory stick of my photos and show you a bunch of them.

I'll call you later; Stay safe. 
Thinking of you, 
Christian C.}}

{{quotebox|I watched the new G.H.I. last night. I liked it; they actually found a lot of good spirits, including the girl on the steps.

Anyway, It's been a while since we last chatted over the phone. I know you have the Celtic Women concert tomorrow night, and you've enjoyed the Lightning Thief, and I'm still waiting confirmation from you on next Friday. Are we cool on me picking you up, taking you to Tip Top and the Y.A.S.G. meeting and taking you back home?

Also, I am looking forward to telling you more stories and showing you my collection of photos and pics. And I'm curious, what is your life [[dream]](s)? In a nutshell, I had the dreams of being married to my woman [[sweetheart]], and having and being a father of a daughter; her name will be [[Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Also, while I'm currently strong as an artist, I also have dreamt of me having an office job; I am uncertain of the company/corporation.

Also, lately, I have been feeling nestolgic for the days I attended the [[Pok'emon]] [[TCG]] League. For years, I went to the League hosted at [[The (Game & Hobby) Place]]. It was good, and I helped out a lot being Vice-Gym Leader, maintaining peace, putting together strong decks from scratch for new young players and all the good volunteer work. The Leader was a Physics Teacher at the local C-Ville High School, you may know him, Tony Wayne. He was a good [[family guy]]. Last I heard, he gave that up and passed the G.L. torch to someone else.

Anyway, for some easons, the "store manager", [[Mike]], hated me. And in June of [[2008]], he [[banned]] me from the store for good-like. Unwritten Trespassing Notice and all. I didn't care much for Mike either; it really hurt me, what he did to me there, and I still feel a bit of old anger against him. Hopefully, though, by now he's either moved on or replaced at the store.

Those were good times over the years. Anyhoo, I lately was considering starting up my own Poke'mon TCG League at another store in C-Ville. I have found information on how on pokemon.com. I am undecided on that, and where I could host it, at the moment.

Aside from my life, I am interested in listening to more of yours too.

I will TTYL; give my humble regards to your family.

Stay Safe, 
Christian C.}}

{{quotebox|I'm just checkin' in. I'm sure you and your family have been keeping safe and warm. If you made it to work at the C.W.C. today, I hope you had a good work day.

I watched the marathon of "Ghost Hunters" season 5 episodes yesterday, starting from the one guest-investigating Meat Loaf. I really enjoyed watching the debunking and spook-findings. It was fascinating, yet spooky, how M.L.'s water bottle went from the windowsill to the toilet back. Fort Henry and the Hindenberg's Harbor 1 had quite a few spooks in themselves. I also was intrigued on the Rocky Mountain house, with the bloody walls that turned out to be a plumbing fixer-upper and a young Hyancith entertaining a couple of customers.

Also, I have a question that your vast G.H. knowledge can answer. The first ever G.H. episode I watched on SyFy was one with two investigations; I vaguely remember the episode. All I can remember of it was the second investigation was at a restaurant/hotel in a U.S. state (the building was vintage and red), and one of the spooks was in an upstairs bathtub where the women who were bathing felt like they were constantly being watched. I know they had one of their girls with them on the case, one of the Krises or Amy, who personally emped the tub. I only saw the episode once, and I have searched on the [[PSN|Playstation Store]] for the episode, but their descriptions can be made easier to understand. Do you remember which season/episode is the one I'm describing?

Also my PC went down last Saturday (I think I've said that, but I'm unsure) after the 40 minute power failure. I have finally managed to get it fully operational again, so I'll be updating my Cwcipedia today with Mailbag answerings and new Character Bio Pages.

Also, I have shoveled a lot of snow yesterday and today. I have shoveled a path from my front door to my dad's car's Driver-Side door. I'll be doing some more today and tomorrow. Probably Thursday and Friday as well, since I've heard from 95.1 that there is a forecast of 2 inches more of snow accumilation up till Thursday, followed by Warmer days and Sunshine. I pray [[God and Jesus]] will give us Warmest days to melt the snow quickly, because I am tired of all this snow. I'm not "Mr. Plow" ([[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] was Mr. Plow. LOL).

I'm going to go shovel some more, so I'll wrap it up for now, and I look forward to your reply. ;)

Stay Safe, 
Christian C.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hey, 
Yes, The Lightning Thief was excellent for the second time; Logan is just too cute/hot. I also watched his other movie, Hoot. I just got into the book, and let me tell you, I get so sucked into it. I'm started to enjoy reading it from Percy's pov (then again I'm picturing him as Logan ). I can't tell you which is better, the book or the movie; because they're both excellent, in my opinion anyway. 
I guess Dustin decided to take a break from ghost hunting; I guess I can't blame him. Lol. 
I actually have two lifetime goals. I've always wanted to be an author (getting there) and to be an owl biologist. I guess you would expect something like that from me. Both since eigth and ninth grade (or whenever HP came out). 
~Anyway, cheers. Totally excited for the concert.}}

(Continued in [[Wallflower E-mails 2]])
[[Category:E-mails]]

Kacey

2010-09-21T23:46:46Z

Sonichuis44: /* Contact with Ian */

[[Image:Kacey.jpg|thumb|Actual photograph of Kacey]]

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (Liquid Chris) who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]" personality, as Ian believes all women do. As Ian is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

==Background==

Basically, Ian became enraged with jealousy that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and come all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Ian was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] the impostor has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Ian, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Ian in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr and Mrs D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Ian==

On 03 [[August 2009]], Ian sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 04 August 2009, Ian created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Ian tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

On 15 August 2009, she posted a video announcing ChanSonichuCWC's disappearance and felt distraught and heartbroken over the event, calling the police and going as far as to withdraw herself from their marriage.
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = August 15, 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|K9kIcTdeqYU}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Kacey]]
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]
| Video Type = Worry
| Other Info = Kacey goes insane over Liquid's disappearance.
}}

On 20 August 2009, she posted another video announcing that the police believed the kidnapping was a hoax, and asked for peace while hoping for the real Chris's return.
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = Update
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2KNlmx8Nt2o}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [[Kacey]]
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]
| Video Type = Reason
| Other Info = Kacey finds out the kidnapping was a hoax.
}}

==The Love Quest==

Once [[CChanSonichuCWC#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Ian and Kacey began to emerge. In Ian's [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Ian would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared. He also states that they had met "in person", a fact [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 confirmed by Kacey herself.]

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Ian graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Ian implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Ian as friends.

However, Ian being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Ian's Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Ian and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Chris got into [[Father Call|some kind of argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris's chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing go and ''shoot'' Liquid. Horrified, Kacey scorned Ian for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call| a final phone call to him]], never to return. Ian would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

==Marriage to Liquid==
[[Image:Wedding_Photo_by_Scarlet_Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]

Liquid and Kacey got married on 11 November 2009, at 2 pm EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Solid tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving copyright papers, which, as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid Chris resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey Phone Call]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

CWC - Hand Drawn Original

2010-09-21T23:44:41Z

Sonichuis44:

On 4 [[August 2009]], [[Chris]] uploaded "'''CWC - Hand Drawn Original'''" in another attempt to prove that he is the TRUE and HONEST CWC and not the fake, this time by showing the trolls how he draws [[Sonichu]]. Interestingly, in the video's description, Ian says that he wanted to upload the video to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid's]] account, but that he decided otherwise.

One would think that the only reason he did this is to show to [[Kacey]] that she is dating the "imposter", as only IBA alone can draw Sonichu correctly. It also seems that Chris is so deluded that he believes Kacey fell in love with the world of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] (which he claims to be his own), and not CChanSonichuCWC's personality. In Chris's mind, this may mean that she should love him instead, so he may be seeking to add another chapter to his [[Love Quest]].

This video also gives us a rare glimpse into Chris's drawing techniques. He holds his pen in a bizarre fashion, where he sticks his [[duck|bent]] index finger out. His drawing surface of choice isn't even the most basic of smooth surfaces, but a [http://www.amazon.com/Strawberry-Shortcake-Reflecta-Sketch-Set/dp/B00144QMOY Reflecta Sketch], a sketching kit from [[Wikipedia:Spin Master|Spin Master]] that includes a tracing reflector and as seen in the link presented, was marketed to young '''beginning''' artists, not delusional manchildren. In a revelation that surprises absolutely no one with even remotely functional eyes, he doesn't waste time in sketching and thinking out the composition prior to drawing anything. (The hasty release of ''[[Sonichu 9]]'' shows that he does some sketches, but he just redraws them in ink; he's clearly not one of the people who believes pencils show where ink should go.) Chris appears to enjoy coloring more than getting the character's shape and details right. Apparently, filling paper with flat shades is so ''tough'' and ''takes such an awfully long time'' that there's just no ''time'' to draw details...

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Hand Drawn Original
| image = {{#ev:youtube|vnqnUBQ9r24}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 04 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Comics.png]] [[Comic]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = [[Image:classicshirt.png]] The Classic
| previous = [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff#Video| Exposing Jeff]]
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_4#Watch| The Touch]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of [[Chris_and_English|hand artery]].

Anyway the first portion is live so let me just... see if we can... get that... set up here....

Huh, well, will you look at that. Anyway, see my hand, see my hand, okay. So let's just see how we draw Sonichu here. As we have been doing the whole time, ever since 2000.

[''mumbles while putting hair between Sonichu's mouthpiece''] First we just do this an' that....

[''draws ears''] Ear there...

[''lowers pen down''] So as I just draw these things there, [''draws an oval''] give him a masculine chest. Aah, I messed up on that one, oh, well, I'll work with it.

[''draws Sonichu's right hand''] A lil' thumbs-up there...

[''draws Sonichu's left hand''] Put up that there, the old [[CChanSonichuCWC|brown stripes]]. [''begins to draw the tail''] And get that there, the old tail...

[''draws the legs and his left shoe''] Put those shoes on.

[''draws his right shoe''] Give him a little, "lift-up-the-foot" look there.

Put a little C-In-A-Circle and my John Hancock. And.. Let's just give him a little drop shadow underneath.

[''drops pen''] Now we break out the, uhh, markers. Mmmm, color in the old mouth with the [[Chris and race|flesh color]].<ref>Crayola's current "peach" color was first released as "flesh", but was changed to its current name in 1962 to reflect racial sensitivity. Clearly Chris has not heard this news.</ref> [''Drops the marker and shows a Crayola Super Washable Markers bag''] Crayola rocks! [''[[sigh]]''] Color his arms... And his belly... Belly and chest. Whatever you wanna go. Whichever you wanna call it. Yeah. It's sticking out, I'll put that back later.

Okay, uh, regular yellow, oh I forgot the eyebrows. There you go, look at that. Makes him look smart, he's slick, slick character, yes.

Uh, just hurry up to the coloring. Oh, I didn't close the hand. There you go. I could've done a little better on this, but I'm pressed for time. But it basically, definitively looks like, uhh... Yeah. It's my, it's my style, my hand drawing, it's uncopyable.

Mmm... Give him his little red cheeks. Lime green soulful eyes. Good shade of brown in the old stripes and the edge of the bottom portion of the tail. His shoes there. Battery blue, favorite shade, Sonichu sneakers [inaudible singing].

And we will, huh, accentuate the blackness on the tips of his ears, his nose and, uhh, where that's gray? Ah, here it is. Make his so—make his sneaker soles... shades of gray. Oh, and while I make this up and about, lemme, huh, make a switcheroo around here. Actually, now let's do a one more thing... [''begins to write next to Sonichu''] Art and care for [''in a high pitch''] [[Kacey]]! And now for the old switcheroo let's, uhh, close this up here. [''Closes the sketchpad'']

And put in the hand drawn pages of...—look. Number Zero! Just lemme rehandle this a bit. The old history of the hand drawn. Print these out, you get blank edges. Unedited as it really was before I scanned them and type the text into them. Oh that's a good page, very good page. Uhh, yeah, this is kinda like the introduction of ''[[Excel-Saga]]'' back in Episode Two.. of ''Excel-Saga''. So, anyway... [''begins to poorly sing the opening theme of'' Excel-Saga]. Mmmm, [''looking at Sonichu and Rosechu kiss from issue 0''] Kissy, kissy! Yum! You know you can pause at any time, I'm just going a little quickly because I don't want to kill over 10 minutes with this. [''IBA then takes away the book''] Anyway, done there. [''loww contrast footage, like in his [[For_Kacey_from_CWC|previous video]]''] Oops! There goes the creation, there ''goes'' the creation. Oh, well.

Anyway, hmmm.... Anyway, I would like to shout out to Kacey, I care about you very much, your feelings mean a lot to me. You mean a lot—[''camera cuts to a well lit room with Ian's horrible features in front of it''] I'm sorry, Kacey, but I'm afraid that, uhh, [''removes his glasses''] I tried to ease you into the subject, but, unfortunately, I could not do that. I just had to give it to you straight, as my friend ma—made me realize when I talked to her, earlier tonight, in addition to you. I'm sorry Kacey, but, y'know, you fell in love with Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of CWCville... It's mine. [''picks up a scrapbook from behind him''] Originally mine. I'm the guy. March 17th, 2000, in front of Miss Naelie Chalifoux's classroom at Manchester High. [''opens the book and pulls out his recently drawn art''] Freshly drawn. You saw it from [puts down the drawing, then shows his [[Amnyfest Ring]]] my own hand. [''puts down the book again''] Daa—I'm, I'm the artist.

But anyway, as to further elaborate, the impostor's real name is Jeff. I know this because—[''cut'']—I learned his name was Jeff from a D-a-n-t-o-p-u-l-t-i-s@yahoo.com [''cut''] and also if you take a good look, and also if you take a good look, also if you ever see him in person, look at his ident—look at his ID you know that it's fake. Ask him to hand it to you personally; it's fake. I can hand you mine, anytime. It's real, as well as my—as well as my diplomas and my degrees; they're right here, in my room, right here. [''makes some hand gestures''] In these four walls, that have—that Sonichu, and Rosechu and the world of CWCville have evolved from. I'm sorry, Kacey, I didn't mean—if I hurt you—if I hurt you, I'm sorry. But I had—I ha—I wanted to make sure you knew the truth. You had to know. You have been dating and having relations with [creepy stare] the impostor. His name is Jeff. I'm sorry. But I care about you. I do. Just like you have been talking to me for the past two nights. Regato—[''cut'']

But, yeah, I recommend that you confront Geoffrey. [''sigh''] I'll leave it up to you, Kacey. Be safe. Stay strong. Take your time. I care about you. As I cared about all my other gal pals in my life. From [[Megan Schroeder]], to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], Miranda, Sarah, [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]], even all the ones I met on the internet: my Australian gal pal Sarah Cassandra Mackenzie/[[PandaHalo]], died in that bushfire, and [[Sarah Jackson]], died in the automobile accident, and Ivy only recently. I had to go listen to my father's meathead theories. I leave it up to you. I care.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]|nextlink=[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==Notes==
<references/>

Talk:IRC (27 December 2008)

2010-09-20T15:59:09Z

Sonichuis44:

Lol at "You're more like B)-<O<".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:27, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Forgive me if this is too discussion-y, but I've seen this chat cited all over the wiki as a source for the claim his parents haven't had sex in two decades. Why would we believe Chris on this? Doesn't every kid want to believe his parents have only had sex once in their entire lives? Even Chris has some standards; he's probably squicked out by the idea of his parents having sex, and is too naive to realize that of course they do, they just don't make a big deal out of it. Then again, they are very old, so who knows? --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 08:59, 20 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Samantha Thaddeus E-mails

2010-09-20T15:16:58Z

Sonichuis44:

yes, chris sent that e-mail over like 100 fucking times [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:57, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
:So samantha's oxyclean fanatic then? Because that's who the letters in the mediafire file are to. I guess I should upload them then?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:01, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

I tried to turn the second youtube URL into a link, but the template craps out if I do. Any ideas? --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 08:16, 20 September 2010 (PDT)

Samantha Thaddeus E-mails

2010-09-20T15:15:38Z

Sonichuis44: formatting

'''Samantha Thaddeus''', also known as Alex Hendroil and oxycleanfanatic2264, was the one to hack the [[PSN]] accounts and [[Club Nintendo]], which she later gave them up to [[Jack Thaddeus]].

Chris bitched to Samantha when his PSN accounts were hacked.

== Hey, You. 10 - 11 [[July 2009]] ==

{{EmailReply|
I KNOW you have taken my Yahoo account, and maybe my PSN account. GIVE THEM BACK TO ME NOW!!!
}}

{{Email|
Why should I?

btw who are you voting for mayor of [[cwcville]]?
}}

{{Email|
okay i give up,

yahoo account:
pass: HailHitler22

psn:
pass: HailHitler23
}}

{{EmailReply|
That's not funny. And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING, and [[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mayes]] was NEVER MAYOR; I was lying [[Sex toys|out my ass]] in a piece of past blackmail.

Your passwords have failed. I have a Detective working on my case against the likes of you, and I know you live in California; do not think I will not send him and his squadron your way. And I have True Friends by my side. SO GIVE IT UP FOR REAL; NO LIES.
}}

{{Email|
IT'S BILLY MAYS

GET IT RIGHT

also, the police don't give a FUCK about you and your psn besides, you have a problem. you spend way too much [[money]] lol
}}

{{EmailReply|
Well, Mr. Mayes could not care less anyway; you are a [[Naive]], Retarded Bastard. And you know WHAT, I've OFTEN confused Bill with That guy who plays Al on "Home Improvement". *Singing* "Home Improvement. Home Improvement. Starring Tim Allen. Billy Mayes. And all the other people."

Enjoyed your Earthquakes?
}}

{{Email|
..dude earthquakes kill people what the fuck is wrong with you

jesus christ you are a psychopath
}}

{{EmailReply|
Think what you will; you WILL still be punished greatly, unless you give me back my Accounts.
}}

{{Email|punish me baby, punish me all night long}}

{{EmailReply| [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eTBA_igLu0]]

Pleasant Nightmares, Naive Retarded Bastard.
}}

{{Email|
wow these insults sure make me horny as fuck, i'm so damn wet

you don't intimidate me.
}}

{{Email|
i finally got around to watching the video

it's MRS. HACKERRRRRRRRR to you, you fucking sexist bitch

also you're the naive retarded bastard lol
}}

{{EmailReply|
He who knows one is one himself. Dumbass.
}}

{{Email|
what the fuck does this mean?
}}

{{Email|
you don't know my name and you have no idea where i live lol gl
}}

{{EmailReply|
You are Alex Hendriol; you live in Sacramento, California at zip code 95821. I have informed my detective.
}}

{{Email|
i totally did not make that up on the spot
}}

{{Email|
oh man i saw this and it's hilarious

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n-mmb6LMEU&feature=channel_page</nowiki>

i'm now laughing lololo
}}

{{Email|
it's so damn catchy

HEY HEY YOU YOU
MISTER (it's still mrs BTW) HACKERRRR
}}

{{Email|
man you are a stupid face

i hate your stupid face so much
}}

{{Email|
you do know mewmew.net is a japanese search engine right?

HEE HEE! rip michael jackson}}

== okay 12 [[July 2009]]==

{{EmailReply|
What do you want from me? What will it take for you to give back to me control of my Japan, Hong Kong, Spain, France and German PSN accounts? Anything within God-Given Reason. What do you want?
}}

{{EmailReply|
If I do this ONE THING for you to get my accounts back, you HAD BEST give them back to me Honest and For True. I have [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] on my side.
}}

{{Email|
the same god and jesus that told you that [[ivy]] was your true and honest wife to be?

i mean, why the hell do you want your psn accounts back?
}}

{{EmailReply|
Because without the ability to access the accounts online, I am unable to copy some of the downloaded content from my PS3 to my PSP, such as the XISai PSOne demo, the UmJammer Lammy game, and Creatures 3, as well as other things. Or even being able to play those items on my PSP if I can't access the accounts to activate the PSP with. Plus, I have 400 Yen in the Japan account.

I have a HISTORY with the accounts too big to measure. Please have a heart and give the accounts back to me by listing the e-mail addresses and matching passwords you've changed the accounts to.
}}

{{Email|
it's just [[video games]]

besides, 400 yen is only 4.32 american, you could earn more than that in an hour at work
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look, just give me back the accounts, Pretty Please.
}}

{{Email|
do you think being nice will work? are you retarded?
}}

{{EmailReply|
Look. I'm tired from the [[stress]]; you are tired of playing; let's just end this cherade. Give me back my PSN Accounts.
}}

{{Email|
you told me to [[Death threats|hang myself]]

I THINK I WILL LOL

THEN YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM BACK LOLOL

but seriously you're not getting them back
}}

{{EmailReply|
I never said that; you are putting words into my mouth.
}}

{{Email|
please watch the [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|video you made]] again

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfbFnB9jWcs&feature=channel_page</nowiki>

look at the 1:05 mark

carefully.
}}

{{EmailReply|
I respectfully withdraw that remark, and [[Chris and remorse|I apologize for having outbursted with it]].
}}

{{EmailReply|
<nowiki>**Withdraw the remark from the video.</nowiki>
}}

{{Email|
whatever, i don't care

you're still not getting the accounts back
}}

== The last straw 7/12/09 ==
Chris began to go insane and spammed Samantha with over 100 e-mails.

{{EmailReply|Subject: And

Body: God will reign down with a Vengance upon you until you give me back my Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, France and Germany Playstation Network Accounts.}}

He did this 108 times.

At one point he sent the same message with a new subject of "I can do this ON and ON and ON and ON and..." implying he has all the free time in the world to do this since he doesn't have a PS3 to play.

{{Email|Chris, who do you think gave me the account information?

God is punishing you for ignoring important biblical commandments from the book of Leviticus.

11:10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of all the living creatures that are in the waters, they are an abomination unto you,
 11:11 and they shall be an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, and their carcasses ye shall have in abomination.
 19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with two kinds of seed: neither shall there come upon thee a garment of two kinds of stuff mingled together.
 19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
 19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am Jehovah.

I did not "hack" into your accounts, Chris. [[God and Jesus]] gave me a [[Dreams|dream]]. And in this dream, they told me your passwords. They said that you were wicked and guilty of the mortal sin of greed. I did not know this before, [[Chris and money|but two thousand dollars]]? God and Jesus are right. You deserve to lose this.

Especially considering the fervor with which you seek to reclaim it. Chris, greed is a sin. A grievous sin. And your greed is worse than any I have ever seen. [[Aunt Corrina]] is embarrassed of your behavior.}}

{{EmailReply|You did not receive anything from them in a dream; you got the info from someone like Jack Thadeus. NOW, You give me back my PSN accounts, and I'll call off the detective from finding and arresting you. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE; HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE. >:(
}}

Then Chris began a new line of message of "Give me back my Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, France and Germany Playstation Network Accounts. >:(".

He did this 74 time before giving up; however, intermittently during the messages, 17 different messages had the same body but carried a different subject which spelled out this:

{{EmailReply|
And Thou Shalt Not Steal 
And Thou Shalt Not Covet 
And Thou Shalt NOT Withold Stolen Information from its Original Owner 
And Thou Shalt NOT aid thine own Hell's Devils 
And Thou Shalt NOT continue Belaboring Stress upon that who you have Stolen From 
And Thou Wilst Return what thou hast stolen Immediately and Posthaste 
And Thou shalt respect and honor thy neighbor as thou's self; Respect CHRIST! 
And Thou Wilst Forgive he who Apologizes for trespassing with emotions of rage 
And Thou who hast sined against thine neighbor can ONLY be forgiven upon that which thou hast stolen from the son who has Jesus in his Heart Truly 
And Thou will not be forgiven if thee hast not forgiven thine self by returning that which thou hast stolen from unforgiving trespasses with bad emotions against thine neighbor with Christ truly in his heart 
And Thou wilst not be forgiven if thou continues to sell his soul to the devil in wrongest deals; thou will only be forgiven truly if thou returns the Accounts thou has stolen from the son of God who truly has Christ in his name and in his heart}}

== One last taunt ==
Samantha allowed Chris to hack her e-mail to which Chris used in order to lead into [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]]. Chris tried to use this as leverage against her in one e-mail.

{{EmailReply|
YOU actually BELIEVED that Mockumentry? My friend and I made that with the Acting, just to kick you TROLLS IN THE GROIN! <nowiki>|</nowiki>:J

Also, how does it feel to be Trolled?
 Not so good, huh?
 Well then you may want to QUIT THE GAME.
 AND TELL YOUR ASSOCIATES THE SAME AS WELL. :D

I'm just gettin' started Bee-Otchie Samantha. <nowiki>|</nowiki>:J

Also, you only have a WORD-OF-MOUTH-LIE; when Invenstions Begin; NOTHING will come up. ALL establishment/business owners will be ALL like, "Who?" "I've never interviewed that guy." "I've never even HEARD of him." And so on, and so on, and so FUCKIN' ON. <nowiki>|</nowiki>:J

I'll be happy to return your OxyClean to you, in return for FULL SAFE RETURN of ALL of my Out-Of-US Playstation Network Accounts; ALL FIVE (5) of them. Japan's Reld_Nait; Hong Kong's PinkieSwear; Spain's PesoQuarter; Germany's Sonichu1, and France's Sonichu3.

And ONLY after successful log-in of ALL 5 accounts on my half, will I ship your OxyClean your way, "PLUS a Second OxyClean, FREE".

Check It!

Peace,
Christian C.
}}

==See also==
*[[Katie Bay E-mails]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mynuozcwhy3 Download]

[[Category:E-mails]]

Talk:Chris and his ego

2010-09-15T02:55:02Z

Sonichuis44:

[[Talk:Chris and his Ego/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

[[Talk:Chris and his Ego/Archive 2|Archive 2]]

__TOC__

==Archived==
With the massive rewrite of this article complete, old news has been archived. Keep up the good work adding details and improving our shiny new article! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 23:11, 23 January 2010 (UTC)

Just threw in something that struck me from his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|phone call]] with [[Asperchu|Alec]]. I'm not sure they entirely fit, but I couldn't think where else to put it. If a better spot comes up or it's deemed unnecessary, feel free to move around/delete as needed. [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 04:20, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
*I saw the text; nice little piece. The community will decide on a whole if this stays (just like any other Wiki) but I think the info you brought in got a proper place here. Nice work, please do more. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:31, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

== Update ==

I updated the page to include the release of the 100...something video. it was juts something quick and also the video is being planned for rename so i would be thankful if someone updated and corrected the entry.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:00, 10 May 2010 (UTC)`

== jesus christ narcissistic personality disorder ==
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

* An oversensitive temperament at birth
* Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents
* Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem
* Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback
* Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents
* Severe emotional abuse in childhood
* Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or talents by adults
* Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for poor behaviors in childhood

how many of these apply to chris? hurrr [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:15, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

* Well, if we believe his stories about the abusive babysitter and the Nathaniel Greene scream-recording incident, I'd say all of them are true (except the latter part of the last one, I doubt that Bob and Barb ever criticized Chris for anything when he was a kid) [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 20:47, 3 June 2010 (UTC)
::I'm requesting someone to wikilink or whatever the fuck its called and put it up on the main page. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:57, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
::See below regarding the last one. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 19:55, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and toys?==
"This stems from childhood when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to to talk by giving him toys if he could read them out loud." Sauce? This would really explain a lot. Also, how much fucking money do they have, geez --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 19:55, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

Fridays After Five

2010-08-08T20:49:37Z

Sonichuis44: /* 9 July Sighting */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|140px|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]]]]
'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert series that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. In [[June 2010]] [[Chris]] was video recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run on [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010. Chris first alludes to his knowledge of Fridays after Five in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']], in which he stands outside the Charlottesville Pavilion and mentions how [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play there every Friday night.

== 18 June Sighting==
{{-}}
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|right]]

On 18 June 2010, Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public.

According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]" on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion_of_Fail|Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love_Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[Attraction_sign|attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman". This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]] - with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.

== 9 July Sighting ==

[[File:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|right|Chris sat on his fat ass - a truly rare sight.]]
On 9 July, the troll who spotted Chris on [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting |Independence Day]] spotted him again. According to the troll, Chris had unscrewed the zoom lens from his DSi and was using it as a rudimentary telescope by pressing it up to his eye.

{{quotebox|
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point.}}

This time the troll managed to take a picture of Chris, who appears to be wearing three [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers of Fail]]. Two are red and white, and a custom painted one is barely visible underneath his arm. He also has what looks like a small bottle of hand sanitizer tucked into his belt. Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe|has been known]] to immediately follow up any handshake with using hand sanitizer on himself. Chris is also holding a [[Attraction Sign|small piece of paper]] between his legs in both photographs, proving even further that he hasn't learned a single thing in the past seven years.

{{clear}}

==16 July Sighting==

[[File:Manzone.jpg|thumb|right|Something like this.]]

On 16 July a different troll managed to spot Chris at the park. While no photos were taken the description given paints a very... ''unusual'' picture.

{{quotebox|This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell.}}

While the initial footage from June introduced the "Want Women" bra as a sort of makeshift attraction sign, the most recent sighting reports a full-fledged return of an actual [[attraction sign]], albeit a very basic one.

The hula hoop is more puzzling. It's entirely possible that Chris brought it to add to the dance moves seen on this very page, but given Chris's [[Sonichu's Edge|abysmally low stamina]], [[obesity|corpulent physique]], and total lack of coordination or dancing ability, this seems like a very unusual choice. Another theory is that he used it to mark the boundaries of his "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone".

==Gallery==
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Fuck yeah! A [[gal-pal]]!
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
File:Fridayafterplan.png|CWC's plan B.
File:FAF-06092010.jpg|From autistic trucker to dorkish plumber.
File:WantMan.jpg|CWC's [[Homos|plan C]].
File:Hulahoop.png|Chris and the hula hoop.
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|Videos of Chris in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = manchild
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J4dib0pmpjE}}
| Stardate = 18 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]
*[[Pedofork]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download the videos]
*[http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Fridays After Five at the Charlottesville Pavilion]

[[Category:Social life]]

Fridays After Five

2010-08-08T20:01:36Z

Sonichuis44: /* 16 July Sighting */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|140px|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]]]]
'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert series that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. In [[June 2010]] [[Chris]] was video recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run on [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010. Chris first alludes to his knowledge of Fridays after Five in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']], in which he stands outside the Charlottesville Pavilion and mentions how [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play there every Friday night.

== 18 June Sighting==
{{-}}
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|right]]

On 18 June 2010, Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public.

According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]" on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion_of_Fail|Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love_Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[Attraction_sign|attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman". This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]] - with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.

== 9 July Sighting ==

[[File:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|right|Chris sat on his fat ass - a truly rare sight.]]
On 9 July, the troll who spotted Chris on [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting |Independence Day]] spotted him again. According to the troll, Chris had unscrewed the zoom lens from his DSi and was using it as a rudimentary telescope by pressing it up to his eye.

The troll goes on to report that Chris appeared to creep out a nearby high school girl by turning to her and saying something. This resulted in the girl huddling up with a group of her friends, who all proceeded to laugh at Chris. He probably never realized that the girls were laughing at him, not with him.

This time the troll managed to take a picture of Chris, who appears to be wearing three [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers of Fail]]. Two are red and white, and a custom painted one is barely visible underneath his arm. He also has what looks like a small bottle of hand sanitizer tucked into his belt. Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe|has been known]] to immediately follow up any handshake with using hand sanitizer on himself. Chris is also holding a [[Attraction Sign|small piece of paper]] between his legs in both photographs, proving even further that he hasn't learned a single thing in the past seven years.

The troll's report in full:

{{quotebox|
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point.}}
{{clear}}

==16 July Sighting==

[[File:Manzone.jpg|thumb|right|Something like this.]]

On 16 July a different troll managed to spot Chris at the park. While no photos were taken the description given paints a very... ''unusual'' picture.

{{quotebox|This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell.}}

While the initial footage from June introduced the "Want Women" bra as a sort of makeshift attraction sign, the most recent sighting reports a full-fledged return of an actual [[attraction sign]], albeit a very basic one.

The hula hoop is more puzzling. It's entirely possible that Chris brought it to add to the dance moves seen on this very page, but given Chris's [[Sonichu's Edge|abysmally low stamina]], [[obesity|corpulent physique]], and total lack of coordination or dancing ability, this seems like a very unusual choice. Another theory is that he used it to mark the boundaries of his "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone".

==Gallery==
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Fuck yeah! A [[gal-pal]]!
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
File:Fridayafterplan.png|CWC's plan B.
File:FAF-06092010.jpg|From autistic trucker to dorkish plumber.
File:WantMan.jpg|CWC's [[Homos|plan C]].
File:Hulahoop.png|Chris and the hula hoop.
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|Videos of Chris in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = manchild
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J4dib0pmpjE}}
| Stardate = 18 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]
*[[Pedofork]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download the videos]
*[http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Fridays After Five at the Charlottesville Pavilion]

[[Category:Social life]]

Talk:Greene County Conspiracy

2010-05-11T07:19:36Z

Sonichuis44:

{{Not A Forum}}

Starting transcription [[User:Urist|Urist]] 04:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

A video was released earlier by solidsnakeproductions giving a gay craigslist user looking for good times directions to Chris' house...could this be why he made this video? [[User:LouisLash|LouisLash]] 2:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Doubtful. By the sounds of it, Chris won tickets for some sporting event, no one wanted to go with his smelly ass and when he did go, he was reminded he was a [[Virgin with rage]] by the lovey-dovey couple beside him. Thus, he decided to go after others, blaming ''two fucking counties'' for playing Kick the Autistic!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Rename==
I know, it just got put up, but this page needs a better name. I vote for either "Chris Whines The Blues" or "The Greene County Conspiracy"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:09, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Moving it here, so it can be seen.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*I like "The Greene County Conspiracy". -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
**That name sounds good.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
**"The Greene County Conspiracy" is great. [[User:Kynes|Kynes]] 00:42, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

What's the "100 2178" supposed to mean--is it just random gibberish for blank videos or is there some meaning to it?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:31, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*No, that's just the file number Chris uploaded this to.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:33, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Who wants to note all the aesthetic similarities to [[Song of Christian]]? We could call it Song of Christian II : Electric Boogaloo. [[User:TheBrownSonichu|TheBrownSonichu]] 07:34, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*/sign --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 23:32, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Why don't we just call it 8 May 2010? --[[User:Aldrasio|Aldrasio]] 10:52, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*8 May 2010 is the proper thing to call this. That said, if we're gonna give it a custom title, I would suggest "Chris looks back".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:06, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*I'd suggest "Chris Breaks Down". [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 22:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*How about "The Bourne Autistic" or "eternal despair of the autistic mind" or simply "Chris has 0 friends" or "Chris has 0 friends (the Greene county conspiracy uncovered)"-[[User:OfficerBagget|OfficerBagget]] 23:37, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*I think it should be called 'Chris goes emo' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:47, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

*Yes, it's not a useful name but as we've discussed before, ideally we should be keeping Chris's original naming. I'd rather leave it, to be honest. If people have people locating this video, we'll consider renaming it then, unless someone has a more compelling argument. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:57, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

*I vote for "The Greene County Conspiracy."

*I would vote for "Chris Gets the Greene County Blues." See its funny cause green and blue are colors that go well together! Barring that, I'd say "The Greene County Conspiracy" would be a great choice title. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 02:44, 10 May 2010 (UTC). Thanks for reading!

*Either the current title (original video name without the useless .MOV file extension), or date. Barring that, "Live from the pits of paranoia: The Greene County Conspiracy, or how a narcissistic manchild thinks every bad thing is everyone else's fault, part the umpteenth." (I know long titles aren't in fashion, but...) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:08, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

*I for one like the current title's mysterious quality, but renaming it with words would be more useful in the long run, especially since Chris might reference this video in the future. I see a lot of people are trying to be clever, but "The Greene County Conspiracy" is the most accurate (and popular) title being discussed. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:11, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

I'd go for the cwcvillelibrary's name of dem autistic blues.
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 19:54, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

I vote Green county Conspiracy I mean he obviously thinks there is one so why not just do as his delusions make him thing? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

==Cry some more, Chris==
Hahahahahaha! His tears taste magnificent! Greatest CWC video in a while. We're fucking breaking him. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 05:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*"We" didn't do shit. Chris did this to himself, yet again proving that no one trolls Chris better than Chris. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 07:46 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Pertinence==
This is worth mentioning in so many other articles. Namely, the articles on [[reality]] and his [[ego]] come to mind. It's a conspiracy, folks! -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Maybe we could link his newletter to here to show another way he is similar to a conspiracy theorist.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's Shirt. ==

Hey everyone. I make a crappy smalltime riffing video series for fun, and I decided to ''possibly'' riff this video. I typically brighten videos up when I riff them if they're retardedly dark, and I noticed no one had an idea of what shirt he's wearing, so I took a screencap of my best effort to brighten Chris's day.

http://imgur.com/ygTLM.jpg

It appears to be a new shirt, either a tank top or a tee with the sleeves rolled up, with what I ''believe'' to be the Hogwarts shield on it. Chances are I'm wrong on that, though.

Also, I've noticed he's lost ''alot'' of hair. That may be the reason why he's obstructing himself.

I hope it helps! --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 05:45, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
* First of all, it looks like the shirt's an orange ''Sonic Heroes'' t-shirt. The little emblem by his left manboob looks like the ''Sonic Heroes'' logo. Second of all, holy shit, where did his hair go?! I know he had more than that when he did that video gloating over removing that piece!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:48, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

* That frame exaggerates the state of his hair. The camera isn't looking straight at him like it is in the beginning, and the aspect ratio hasn't been enforced. Here's another frame: http://i.imgur.com/Ic9XE.jpg --[[User:Lurker|Lurker]] 06:20, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

* Ah, crap, I forgot I changed the ratio. Sorry about that x3

Yes, this one is much better. I can tell there is a character in that emblem on his shirt, but I'm not sure who it is... It looks like either Dee Dee from Dexter's Lab or XJ9 from My Life As A Teenage Robot to me. It also looks like there's a...rocketship? I believe? --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Almost thought it was the shirt from "10 September 2009" since the first person mentioned rolling up the sleeves, until I saw the emblem. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 07:16, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

* Isn't this the "Jerkop" shirt he used to wear during the Ivy saga? It looks orange in this video and the "Jerkop" one is bright yellow, but seeing how bad the quality is... --[[User:Goronian|Goronian]] 12:28, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

*Why not have some kind of official redirect? The redirect would be named "The Greene County Conspiracy" of course. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 07:19, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

==The Conspiracy==
I guess I misunderstood the video, because I thought Chris was whining that he would have had a better life in Chesterfield county, but the Chandlers got stuck in Greene county because they couldn't sell the house they are currently living in. Could somebody help a poor slow-in-the-mind like me figure this out? Thanks in advance (please type slowly). [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Assuming what Chris is telling us is true, I reckon it goes like this. For about the latter five years of the 90s, 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville was empty while the Chandlers lived in Richmond and Chris was in high school. If they'd successfully sold 14 Branchland Court, they would have had the money to buy a permanent place in the Richmond area. Since they couldn't sell it, it wasn't cost-effective to keep renting homes in Richmond while also paying property taxes on the Ruckersville house and letting it fall into even worse disrepair. Thus, the move back to Ruckersville after Chris graduated high school. Which more or less rings true to me, altogether. (The part about realtors conspiring with the school district...well, yeah.) Anyway, I updated a couple of the articles on Chris's homes with this data, I think I hit the main ones that needed it. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 06:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

(1) Chris attends elementary school in Greene County, where sitting on the principal's lap gives him homophobia and a group of teachers abuses him by holding him down and recording his screams and cries. The school board wants him institutionalized so his family moves to Chesterfield County, but keep their house in Greene County.
(2) Chris goes to school in Chesterfield County, where he Comes Out of His Autistic Shell, makes lots of Gal-Pals, and creates Sonichu.
(3) Chris graduates and moves back to Greene County, away from all of his Gal-Pals, and begins his decline. PVCC is in Greene County. If his family had been able to sell their house (it sounds like they must not have had any interest in selling their house) then they would still live in Chesterfield County. You can see pictures of the move in A Week In The Life of Christian Weston Chandler, which is about his High School graduation [[User:Urist|Urist]] 06:25, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Simple answer: Chris is blaming everyone else for his problems. How do you not get how this works? [[User:BrokenDead89|BrokenDead89]] 06:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

tl;dr, everything bad in Chris's life is the fault of <s>Adam Stackhouse</s> <s>Joshua Martinez</s> <s>Jerkops</s> <s>Clyde Cash</s> <s>THE IMPOSTOR</s> <s>That Damn ED Page</s> <s>The Cwcki</s> <s>Michael Snyder</s> <s>Ms. Roach the Babysitter</s> <s>Chris's principal</s> The Greene County School Board of the early 1990s. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 06:32, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, guys, it's making sense now (as much as anything Chris-related can). I think the article on this video has the Greene and Chesterfield houses mixed up, which derailed me. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:34, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*You're right, the summary had that mixed up. Good catch. Fixed that and added a link. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 06:41, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

*Wait, I'm confused now. Was Greene County involved with the two bugs in his PS3? I guess that makes since, because county officials would have the access. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:27, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==The end of the Y.A.S.G. as we know it==

The line regarding his attempt to find someone in his congregation to with him at the "Extreme Sports" show is revealing. Not only he used Rocky to find friends to go with him, none of them called him back. This is, for me, a proof that we can move the infamous "Young Adult Social Group" in the list of people who doesn't love Chris. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

*To that end, I've added a dramatic visual recreation of the event. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 09:00, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

**From what it sounds like, Chris has finally realized how socially isolated he has become, and instead of examining his behavior to see if their are any faults, he blames everyone in life that he has viewed as being mean to him. Now that even his YSAG no longer supports him or even wants to be around him, he has eventually realized that he has no friends. Apparently, this realization is so ego-shattering to Chris, he has to find other forces that are at fault for this, even though this is a problem that he specifically created... I also believe this video was purposely done in silhouette, because he doesn't want the "trolls" to see him cry. As stupid as he is, he has proven in past videos that he is capable of shooting a decently lit video. As we can all recall, when Chris was kicked out of his english class as PVCC, he was extremely distraught because no one was there to comfort him. Now that he's realized he has no one to comfort him again, perhaps we can see more drastic actions in the future: The return to stalking women in stores, trying to "be at the sociable places", and perhaps even a renewed push in the sweetheart search. That's my 2 cents --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 11:49, 9 May 2010 (EST)

==Holy shit, guys==

Inb4 not a forum, I just want to say that I can't fucking believe that anyone would be so idiotic. I've followed this guy for months now, but fucking hell, even the stupidest people I know have the intelligence not to blame their elementary school for people not liking them, and many of the people I know are going to flunk out of high school. Holy fucking shit. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 10:36, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
:We've been following him for years; this is childs' play. I don't know about you guys, but "You're all just immature, naive, condescending, soulless monsters." fits me to the letter --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 10:50, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

== The radio call in contest ==

Would it be possible to look into 95.1's archives to find a recording of Chris winning? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 12:11, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Heh, I just looked up the radio station on google to try to do this, and the tag is "Z95 Today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for women." P.S. I'm looking now. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==The contest itself==

I am trying to find info on the event itself. All I could is find the stadium where the event took place, in the university of Virgina, but that's it. I can't find the event Chris went to. Any suggestions? Maybe I can get a picture of Chris as a contest winner. --[[User:Yoshi2021|Yoshi2021]] 11:02, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

== Bob's Influence ==

This seems like something Bob would say. He would be more concerned with being unable to sell 14 Branchland Court, more likely to use the phrase "paid off the realtors," and more likely to have a firmer memory of such adult details than Chris. By this token, Chris is simply repeating something his father said into the camera, taking it as fact. Then, midway through, he decides that surely the Michael Snyder incident, which Bob is either unaware of or unconcerned by, is also involved. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:20, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

*Most likely. You have to remember: Chris is like a sponge, he takes every message than manages to permeate his thick skull (ads, statements, rants, ect) and repeats them as verbatim fact. He's too low-functioning to form his own opinions, and simply parrots what he hears and likes... Speaking of Snyder, someone contact Mao. I think his response is more than worthy of a CWCipedia AD on our spoiled little manchild's page. With any luck, it might prompt an angry response video, with ample amounts of tard raging --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 15:32, 10 May 2010 (EST)

== Paranoia ==

Chris seems to be growing increasingly paranoid. if he hasn't cracked yet, he's definitely cracking. That's obvious, and this video only makes the fact even more so. Ol' Mike obviously has nothing to do with this, and Chris seems to think he does. Perhaps Chris thinks he's a Jewish reptilian who was behind 9/11 too? i wouldn't put it beyond him by this point. [[User:DronePod|"Order now, and i'll throw in a second beating -- Absolutely free!"]] 01:28, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
:I don't think that Chris is in the clutches of paranoia. Even if he got solid reasons to be (Trolling), I thinks it's the narcissism talking. For one in his life, he had an opportunity to share something and be a philanthropical show-off. He just dint understood why it dint worked. In his twisted world where he's perfect, he just went back to the past and blamed the biggest culprit his (autistic) mind can find. Since Count Graduon was taken, he went deeper. So, in his mind, he can't get better friends because the opportunity to make childhood friends was taken by the autistic-intolerant director of the Nathanael Greene Elementary School. Since he solidified this in his mind, he uses the same excuse for the mystery (in his point of view) behind the recent Game Place fiasco. So, this is not paranoia, it is pure 'Tard-Logic in action. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:34, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

Muscle bra

2010-04-28T00:02:17Z

Sonichuis44: /* Chris and bras */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic bra]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Chris with no bra whatsoever]]
{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris in [[#the bra e-mail|the bra e-mail]]}}

'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is wearing on his [[obesity|manboobs]].

The muscle bra first appeared in [[October 2009]] in the leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

Later the same month, Chris appealed to others to wear a muscle bra too:

{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris in [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]}}

==Chris and bras==

Chris seems to find the sight of male chest and pecs extremely unappealing and even offensive. In the April 2010 video message [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Men Should NEVER be Topless]] he said he would actually make it a [[law]] for all men to wear bras. It is likely he makes this claim in a shallow attempt to [[homos|appear straighter]] than straight.

It is also likely that Chris himself finds muscle bras to be a necessity, given his unusually large breasts. Due to his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, Chris may see it as necessary for other males to cover up as well - or, more likely, he simply wants to rationalize the fact that he needs one because of his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding the actual reason for him wearing his fashionable sports bra.

Chris clearly liked wearing a muscle bra so much that, around six months later, [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|he gave us a better look in a video]]. One might assume that the clean white bra here is a different one from the pale gray one in the photos, implying that Chris has bought multiple bras. Given that things never get cleaner in the Chandler household, only filthier, this seems a safe assumption to make. We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. This suggests Chris has at least six bras. Chris also reveals in the video in question that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size is unknown at this time.

==The bra e-mail==
[[Image:CWC_Bra_Review.jpg|thumb|One of Chris's many [[trolls]] making use of this new information.]]

<blockquote>
(omitted stuff)...

[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]]. 

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my bust size; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. 

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], Toys 'R' Us, Sheetz, Food Lion and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really ground my gears to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. 

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, STUPID POWERWEB!<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. 

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. 

I'll TTYL, 
Stay Safe, 
Chris.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
===E-mail images===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Animated gifs===
<center><gallery>
Image:127193894817.gif
Image:127193932971.gif
Image:127193992465.gif
Image:127193999352.gif
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5645734 Chris's bras at Wal-Mart]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

User talk:MoarLurk/MoarRambles

2010-04-10T22:38:47Z

Sonichuis44:

For your plan, I suggest a Mailbag letter saying that he is a pregnant woman, and once he answers it and says he isn't, (In December 2011), then we follow up with a mailbag bombing full of letters all saying that he is. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:40, 2 April 2010 (UTC)
: But of course, we have to run a plan to get him back into writing the Mailbags first so he'll notice it, which we can only do once 110mb stops being shit and Chris forgets that he's not supposed to be on the Internet.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:23, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
About Waliflower looking like his mom, you should add that to your entry on snorlax because maybe she's coddled Chris so much that he most associates with women that make him think of her. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

==Rocky and Alec==
Since Rocky is trying to make Chris quit the internet, perhaps we should come up with some sort of scheme that will result in his banishment from Wesley Memorial, so that way she will no longer be able to influence him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:18, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
*She'll need some convincing. She is the ultiamte White Knight, remember? We'll need all the 'Chris and' articles, the sex videos, the death threat videos, Sonichu 10, Twin Falling Towers, The CWCipedia article on Aspergers, the article on slow in the minds, the article on Niggos, the article on Homos, and Sonichu 10. That should do it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:54, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
:Banning him won't work, his church is full of idiots who claim to be liberal Christians. It will be faster to just get her to realize that Chris cannot and will not change, and to do so we need to provoke him into coming onto the Internet again. I suggest that Alec be allowed to use the CWCipedia to host Sonichu 11 as well as answer some of the mailbag questions(in a snarky manner, of course). When Chris finds out and bitches, the Sysop will step in and remind him that Alec will not be able to make any changes to the website other than uploading comics or answering some of the mailbags. Oh, and if Chris doesn't make another comic in a month using Alec's reboot as a template(c what I did thar?), Alec gains full rights to Sonichu. Chris will freak out and start generating comics in an attempt to save his copyright. The Sysop can also say that the website has been getting many, many more hits than ever before after Alec has been on the website. The hellhole that is CWCipedia could use some positivity, after all.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:17, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I agree. But can we convince Cogs to let us do that? Can we convince her to let Alec host his comics on the site to force Chris to come back? Its a good plan, but I don't know if she'd go for it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:42, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
::*Worth a shot, just don't phrase it as "GIVE ALEC CWCIPEDIA RIGHTS AND VANDALIZE IT" or anything similar. The lynchpin is that Alec won't be allowed to do anything but upload comics--that way, Chris doesn't see trolls cascading over the site and crash into slumber, but he does see someone taking Sonichu from him. Chris puts a lot of value onto Sonichu--so long as he has it, it doesn't matter that he's a fat, lazy, insensitive, smelly, idiotic manchild. He's a fat, lazy, insensitive, smelly, idiotic manchild who CREATED SONICHU THE BEST IDEA EVER OMG. Take that away from him and he's nothing--in his own, true and honest eyes.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*I wasn't going to word it like that. I'm not sure how i'd word it. In any case I think you would be better at explaining it to Cogs than me. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 01:55, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*Letting Alec upload his Sonichu 11 to the CWCipedia would be a great idea. I am in full support of this. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:04, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*Indeed, we still need to get Alec and Cogs to agree but if we can then this should make Chris rage pretty hard. I also think that the plan with Rocky is good but 1)it won't get Chris banned, and 2)if we did so then it'd just get Chris to swear off the internet again for a little bit. Such an event would make any plans with Sonichu 11 potentially less successful. I'd say to act on Sonichu 11 and if that doesn't work then we can try to use Rocky (both should provoke Chris easily). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:01, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*I would like to say though, that it would be a good idea to not directly go after Rocky in any way. She thinks theres hope of Chris changing, true, but that is just being naive. She's not retarded like Chris is. If we fuck with her in any significant way then she can do something about it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:13, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

I've pitched my idea(There were a few modifications as well as a suggestion for Sonichu 11's plot) to Alec, if he approves I'll ask Cogs. Plus, Rocky is an optional target--at the very least this should frustrate her.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:44, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Frustration is always good. I still lol whenever I think about those pics of Chris's sex video being sent to Bob. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:01, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:I'd also informed Alec that Chris, shortly after the Julie Fiasco, stated that he would always be the mayor of CWCville until he said so in the comic or a video--so long as Chris isn't uploading Sonichu 11, he's given Alec a shot at his weak point. If he finds out that abandoning the internet means abandoning CWCville(and by way of Sonichu 10, abandoning CWCville means shit goes boom), he'll be back in our hands in no time.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Good point! it's Just thing of " Alec is the new Mayor of CWCville" adds and Chris will be back in youtube raging as usual.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 21:53, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I'm actually working on a list of things Alec can do(still no response). Naturally, any change must visibly alter the life of anyone in the comic for the better--that way, when Chris inevitably attempts to retcon it, we can claim that Chris ruined their lives for his own selfish needs(This assumes that we can't (ab)use Comic Chris's authority to declare anything cannon). Bonus points if they actually say "I love how my life is now, I sure hope it doesn't go back to being the way it was since I realize now that it sucked even though I thought I was happy!".
==Crystal is not a dream==
Maybe I can help you out on your "Crystal is not a dream" theory. Sailor Moon aired in syndication first in 1996. During that run, they introduced the future daughter of Sailor Moon, Chibi-Usa/Rini, but not that plot point (I believe they just mentioned she was from the future) until the company DiC aired the remaining episodes years later. Chris would have been 14 at the time, but I highly doubt he would have watched it, seeing as it came on at an early time in his area (5:30 AM. I know this because I watched it). He could have, who knows, but I doubt it. He would have most likely saw it when Cartoon Network aired the series again in 2000.

Now, here's the thing - in the anime, it was preordained that Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask would have this kid in the future and they would rule the Earth, no questions asked. The manga drives this home when Tuxedo Mask is killed near the end and Chibi-Usa fades from existence. This is much different from, say, Dragon Ball Z, where Future Trunks' actions lead to three different futures being created. Or that one Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer keeps screwing up the past and it has all these alterations to the future. Or hell, any of the Back to the Future movies.

The preordained future is probably Chris's selling point in this. He thinks the future is set in stone and there's no way you can change it. Then again, if that's true, then the trolls are probably true masters of time and space...--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*When did the first episodes involving her air in the US, though? I'd assume sometime when Chris was at PVCC(and we know that he watched Saturday morning cartoons well into adulthood, at least until he was 25). Subs or dubs, he'd have heard about it during that period. And Crystal(the character) has been an idea in his head since August 19 2004(A Thursday). Wait, I'm on to something. That was a year and a half after he started the Love Quest(Febuary 24 2003), but Crystal didn't appear in the comic until Sonichu 4(whichever one was all the sub episodes), which Chris made in late 2005. In mid 2005, ''he met Megan''. Even if he hadn't seen the show for a while, that had to have reactivated his interest in Sailor Moon. That's a loose term, though--it's pretty much the third most plagarized thing in Sonichu after Sonic and Pokemon. He definitely modified the idea, but this is less plagiarism and more "Simpsons Did It" in the sense that it's not his daughter from the future, it's his sister from an alternate universe(or something).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
** Ahh... I would guess sometime in November-December of 1996. It was in syndication, thus, five days a week and since the character showed up in the second season, yeah you're looking at about that time, I'm not exactly sure. And it would be around that time in about 98-99 when Cartoon Network got it and kept it until about... early-to-mid 2001? (I know that because after 9/11, Toonami, the block SM was on, became the Dragonball Hour). But, yeah, I think Megan has a lot to do with Chris's resurgence in that series as well.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:52, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

*True masters of time and space...I think...Maybe...What do you think would happen if Chris found out that his sucess is not gaurenteed? In fact, what do you think would happen if Chris could somehow be convinced, that his ''Failure'', is gaurenteed? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:* I remember a suggestion that turned up on /cwc/ that went like this--a girl was supposed to claim to be Crystal from the future. She'd have various conversations with Chris that would go on until Chris got suspicious of her being a troll/tried to have sex with her. Somehow, this would alter the future so she wouldn't exist and she'd "fade out" in front of Clyde Cash or someone else during a chat with Chris. I thought it was funny, anyway--it would end with Chris realizing that he had more or less killed Crystal with his stupidity.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:* It would be epic and lulsworthy, but also completely impossible. Chris is a perfect storm; welfare fraud coupled with autism, staggering ignorance and rampant, raging narcissism all wrapped in enabling parents who provide both a corporeal (his room) and imaginary (CWCville) safe-house for Chris means that he can resist practically any change. Even the combined armies of the various chans, for all their life-destroying might, have barely made a dent in his life; the worst that they've really done is make him a little paranoid, made him go outside a little less, and made him unemployable to anyone who knows how to use Google. It would take something extremely serious and definitely illegal to break him out of this "zone". Something like forced military conscription, the death of both his parents or (more realistically) the loss of all household tugboats would be sufficient; precious little else would be. Remember: Chris is the wall. You can't beat the wall no matter how hard you try. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 17:51, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Of course, we don't need to beat the wall when the wall is collapsing in on itself. We're just watching and making fun of it. Also, anyone have a list of media that involve time travel that we know for sure Chris has seen?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*We don't know that this wouldn't work. Keep in mind that Chris is incredibly gullible. We could manufacture something to this extent but to drive it home we may have to use videos to make it more believable to Chris. There's plenty of video editing software that could make Crystal "fade away" on camera. However, the problem arises if Chris has the foresight to ask personal questions that we don't know or even: "Who's your mother?" It could be made more believable if we get someone to plant the idea in Chris's head that time travel could be possible. There are stories of people allegedly doing this so we could play off of that. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:46, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Her "mother" can just be some random woman we know in Charlottesville who has standards and would never go near Chris in a million years. Or Crystal can just claim that she died in childbirth or somewhere around then. We already know enough about Chris's own personal (and ideal) personal life.
:::*For added hilarity, say that he got his boyfriend free girl, lost his virginity, got Crystal and was content, but that he lost it. He lost his future wife when Clyde Cash stabbed her, and also say that Future Christian was also murdered by Clyde. Also to top it off:His mother outlived him, and by the time he died, the ED page and Asperpedia were still up, and that they stayed there well after he died. He never accomplishes his goal of making Sonichu famous and the world only remembers him for his stupidity. What better way to crush his spirit? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*That sounds too suspicious, Crystal simply convincing him she exists is enough to convince him of the future--then, she'll reveal the name of Chris's destined sweetheart in the presence of Clyde Cash(who for some reason will not turn up on the news). A day later Clyde will "have sex" with her "mother" and Crystal will vanish/suddenly act like she came back from the future to help Clyde troll Chris(Clyde is her father).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:20, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*That works. How to convince him time travel is real though? We know that he does think these things are real, hell, he thinks cartoons are real. But he does not think that he'd ever come across time travel users or anything, in spite of his ego. In the mailbag, someone called Gendo once told him that his sister Crystal exists in some form somewhere, and that through mysticism and help from Chris they could make contact. Part of a trolling scheme obviously. Chris's reaction was 'Crystal is not real, don't be silly, i'm not stupid.' He considers her real, but does not believe that she really exists in the real world, so to speak. It'd take a lot of time and effort to really make him believe that someone is a time travelling Crystal. Hes really retarded, really niave, and really gullible. But even he has some degree of common sense. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:40, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*That was Crystal Weston Chandler(sister), we're dealing with Crystal Weston Chandler(daughter) here. His wish that he had a sister is strong, but it's smothered by the other things--note that it was Crystal who was trapped in a mirror instead of Megan(A potential Crystal maker).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:31, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well there IS the case of John Titor but you can look him up on wikipedia and find out he's full of crap. I listen to Coast to Coast AM every now and then and they talk about time travel and describe how it could work (any in-depth analysis by a notable physicist would probably dismiss their theories or realize it's all just speculation) but gullible people, it seems totally real. We could check out such theories and see if there's one we might be able to use. Or am I just getting too far out here? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 20:55, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::::::*No. I think this would be hilarious if we could do it. How though is a different matter. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:01, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Be realistic guys, Chris is gullible, but to an extend, this scheme of Crystal is as possible of convincing chris that someone saw Sonichu in the wild and then photoshop a picture.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 21:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:** It won't be hard. Chris couldn't tell the difference between a picture of Vanessa Hudgeson and Megan Fox; hell. If we showed him a convincing fake such as this(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/9/99/Pikapikachu.jpg), he'd probably believe it; especially if it was, say, photoshopped onto a CNN article. "Real genuine Sonichu found in the wild!" indeed.
:***Try convincing him that Pikachu is real first. Baby steps guys. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:46, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== I think your right ==
I think Chris really does believe hes related to Jesus. Theres so much evidence of it...I mean...Dear Lord...He actually thinks he is the Christ! This needs a mailbag letter and a section in Chris and Religion. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:31, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== PS3 hack ==

That's a brilliant and simple method to get Chris back on the internet. Considering his e-fame, his poor choice of passwords, and his cartoonishly ridiculous gullibility, it should be easy to garner a video response from Chris and is a surefire way to get him back on the internet. It worked with Jack Thaddeus, it worked with Surfshack Tito, and should work again if our predictions are correct. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:59, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
*I think Tito only hacked it because a certain someone leaked the fact that Chris's PSN password had eighteen or so characters(it may have been ChristianWChandler), plus I've never managed to breach either of his Youtubes(just, y'know, to unblock myself). Heck, it might be something in his mangled form of Spainish.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:22, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
**It can't be too hard. Everyone and their mother have hacked Chris's PSN by now. It shouldn't take anything more than lurking on the ED forums and asking Jack to help really nicely to get the password. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:03, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

==Oh shit==
Heather was mentioned long before January, just not in the comic. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 06:33, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
*Which one, the nanny or the wallflower? I assume nanny.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 07:19, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, the Spanish Lesbian Nanny. She was mentioned in one of his character profiles on the cwckipedia, and I'm entirely sure it was long before last fall. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 22:38, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

User talk:MoarLurk/MoarRambles

2010-04-10T06:33:05Z

Sonichuis44:

For your plan, I suggest a Mailbag letter saying that he is a pregnant woman, and once he answers it and says he isn't, (In December 2011), then we follow up with a mailbag bombing full of letters all saying that he is. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:40, 2 April 2010 (UTC)
: But of course, we have to run a plan to get him back into writing the Mailbags first so he'll notice it, which we can only do once 110mb stops being shit and Chris forgets that he's not supposed to be on the Internet.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:23, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
About Waliflower looking like his mom, you should add that to your entry on snorlax because maybe she's coddled Chris so much that he most associates with women that make him think of her. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

==Rocky and Alec==
Since Rocky is trying to make Chris quit the internet, perhaps we should come up with some sort of scheme that will result in his banishment from Wesley Memorial, so that way she will no longer be able to influence him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:18, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
*She'll need some convincing. She is the ultiamte White Knight, remember? We'll need all the 'Chris and' articles, the sex videos, the death threat videos, Sonichu 10, Twin Falling Towers, The CWCipedia article on Aspergers, the article on slow in the minds, the article on Niggos, the article on Homos, and Sonichu 10. That should do it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:54, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
:Banning him won't work, his church is full of idiots who claim to be liberal Christians. It will be faster to just get her to realize that Chris cannot and will not change, and to do so we need to provoke him into coming onto the Internet again. I suggest that Alec be allowed to use the CWCipedia to host Sonichu 11 as well as answer some of the mailbag questions(in a snarky manner, of course). When Chris finds out and bitches, the Sysop will step in and remind him that Alec will not be able to make any changes to the website other than uploading comics or answering some of the mailbags. Oh, and if Chris doesn't make another comic in a month using Alec's reboot as a template(c what I did thar?), Alec gains full rights to Sonichu. Chris will freak out and start generating comics in an attempt to save his copyright. The Sysop can also say that the website has been getting many, many more hits than ever before after Alec has been on the website. The hellhole that is CWCipedia could use some positivity, after all.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:17, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I agree. But can we convince Cogs to let us do that? Can we convince her to let Alec host his comics on the site to force Chris to come back? Its a good plan, but I don't know if she'd go for it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:42, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
::*Worth a shot, just don't phrase it as "GIVE ALEC CWCIPEDIA RIGHTS AND VANDALIZE IT" or anything similar. The lynchpin is that Alec won't be allowed to do anything but upload comics--that way, Chris doesn't see trolls cascading over the site and crash into slumber, but he does see someone taking Sonichu from him. Chris puts a lot of value onto Sonichu--so long as he has it, it doesn't matter that he's a fat, lazy, insensitive, smelly, idiotic manchild. He's a fat, lazy, insensitive, smelly, idiotic manchild who CREATED SONICHU THE BEST IDEA EVER OMG. Take that away from him and he's nothing--in his own, true and honest eyes.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*I wasn't going to word it like that. I'm not sure how i'd word it. In any case I think you would be better at explaining it to Cogs than me. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 01:55, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*Letting Alec upload his Sonichu 11 to the CWCipedia would be a great idea. I am in full support of this. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:04, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*Indeed, we still need to get Alec and Cogs to agree but if we can then this should make Chris rage pretty hard. I also think that the plan with Rocky is good but 1)it won't get Chris banned, and 2)if we did so then it'd just get Chris to swear off the internet again for a little bit. Such an event would make any plans with Sonichu 11 potentially less successful. I'd say to act on Sonichu 11 and if that doesn't work then we can try to use Rocky (both should provoke Chris easily). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:01, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*I would like to say though, that it would be a good idea to not directly go after Rocky in any way. She thinks theres hope of Chris changing, true, but that is just being naive. She's not retarded like Chris is. If we fuck with her in any significant way then she can do something about it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:13, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

I've pitched my idea(There were a few modifications as well as a suggestion for Sonichu 11's plot) to Alec, if he approves I'll ask Cogs. Plus, Rocky is an optional target--at the very least this should frustrate her.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:44, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Frustration is always good. I still lol whenever I think about those pics of Chris's sex video being sent to Bob. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:01, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:I'd also informed Alec that Chris, shortly after the Julie Fiasco, stated that he would always be the mayor of CWCville until he said so in the comic or a video--so long as Chris isn't uploading Sonichu 11, he's given Alec a shot at his weak point. If he finds out that abandoning the internet means abandoning CWCville(and by way of Sonichu 10, abandoning CWCville means shit goes boom), he'll be back in our hands in no time.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Good point! it's Just thing of " Alec is the new Mayor of CWCville" adds and Chris will be back in youtube raging as usual.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 21:53, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I'm actually working on a list of things Alec can do(still no response). Naturally, any change must visibly alter the life of anyone in the comic for the better--that way, when Chris inevitably attempts to retcon it, we can claim that Chris ruined their lives for his own selfish needs(This assumes that we can't (ab)use Comic Chris's authority to declare anything cannon). Bonus points if they actually say "I love how my life is now, I sure hope it doesn't go back to being the way it was since I realize now that it sucked even though I thought I was happy!".
==Crystal is not a dream==
Maybe I can help you out on your "Crystal is not a dream" theory. Sailor Moon aired in syndication first in 1996. During that run, they introduced the future daughter of Sailor Moon, Chibi-Usa/Rini, but not that plot point (I believe they just mentioned she was from the future) until the company DiC aired the remaining episodes years later. Chris would have been 14 at the time, but I highly doubt he would have watched it, seeing as it came on at an early time in his area (5:30 AM. I know this because I watched it). He could have, who knows, but I doubt it. He would have most likely saw it when Cartoon Network aired the series again in 2000.

Now, here's the thing - in the anime, it was preordained that Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask would have this kid in the future and they would rule the Earth, no questions asked. The manga drives this home when Tuxedo Mask is killed near the end and Chibi-Usa fades from existence. This is much different from, say, Dragon Ball Z, where Future Trunks' actions lead to three different futures being created. Or that one Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer keeps screwing up the past and it has all these alterations to the future. Or hell, any of the Back to the Future movies.

The preordained future is probably Chris's selling point in this. He thinks the future is set in stone and there's no way you can change it. Then again, if that's true, then the trolls are probably true masters of time and space...--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*When did the first episodes involving her air in the US, though? I'd assume sometime when Chris was at PVCC(and we know that he watched Saturday morning cartoons well into adulthood, at least until he was 25). Subs or dubs, he'd have heard about it during that period. And Crystal(the character) has been an idea in his head since August 19 2004(A Thursday). Wait, I'm on to something. That was a year and a half after he started the Love Quest(Febuary 24 2003), but Crystal didn't appear in the comic until Sonichu 4(whichever one was all the sub episodes), which Chris made in late 2005. In mid 2005, ''he met Megan''. Even if he hadn't seen the show for a while, that had to have reactivated his interest in Sailor Moon. That's a loose term, though--it's pretty much the third most plagarized thing in Sonichu after Sonic and Pokemon. He definitely modified the idea, but this is less plagiarism and more "Simpsons Did It" in the sense that it's not his daughter from the future, it's his sister from an alternate universe(or something).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
** Ahh... I would guess sometime in November-December of 1996. It was in syndication, thus, five days a week and since the character showed up in the second season, yeah you're looking at about that time, I'm not exactly sure. And it would be around that time in about 98-99 when Cartoon Network got it and kept it until about... early-to-mid 2001? (I know that because after 9/11, Toonami, the block SM was on, became the Dragonball Hour). But, yeah, I think Megan has a lot to do with Chris's resurgence in that series as well.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:52, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

*True masters of time and space...I think...Maybe...What do you think would happen if Chris found out that his sucess is not gaurenteed? In fact, what do you think would happen if Chris could somehow be convinced, that his ''Failure'', is gaurenteed? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:* I remember a suggestion that turned up on /cwc/ that went like this--a girl was supposed to claim to be Crystal from the future. She'd have various conversations with Chris that would go on until Chris got suspicious of her being a troll/tried to have sex with her. Somehow, this would alter the future so she wouldn't exist and she'd "fade out" in front of Clyde Cash or someone else during a chat with Chris. I thought it was funny, anyway--it would end with Chris realizing that he had more or less killed Crystal with his stupidity.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:* It would be epic and lulsworthy, but also completely impossible. Chris is a perfect storm; welfare fraud coupled with autism, staggering ignorance and rampant, raging narcissism all wrapped in enabling parents who provide both a corporeal (his room) and imaginary (CWCville) safe-house for Chris means that he can resist practically any change. Even the combined armies of the various chans, for all their life-destroying might, have barely made a dent in his life; the worst that they've really done is make him a little paranoid, made him go outside a little less, and made him unemployable to anyone who knows how to use Google. It would take something extremely serious and definitely illegal to break him out of this "zone". Something like forced military conscription, the death of both his parents or (more realistically) the loss of all household tugboats would be sufficient; precious little else would be. Remember: Chris is the wall. You can't beat the wall no matter how hard you try. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 17:51, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Of course, we don't need to beat the wall when the wall is collapsing in on itself. We're just watching and making fun of it. Also, anyone have a list of media that involve time travel that we know for sure Chris has seen?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*We don't know that this wouldn't work. Keep in mind that Chris is incredibly gullible. We could manufacture something to this extent but to drive it home we may have to use videos to make it more believable to Chris. There's plenty of video editing software that could make Crystal "fade away" on camera. However, the problem arises if Chris has the foresight to ask personal questions that we don't know or even: "Who's your mother?" It could be made more believable if we get someone to plant the idea in Chris's head that time travel could be possible. There are stories of people allegedly doing this so we could play off of that. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:46, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Her "mother" can just be some random woman we know in Charlottesville who has standards and would never go near Chris in a million years. Or Crystal can just claim that she died in childbirth or somewhere around then. We already know enough about Chris's own personal (and ideal) personal life.
:::*For added hilarity, say that he got his boyfriend free girl, lost his virginity, got Crystal and was content, but that he lost it. He lost his future wife when Clyde Cash stabbed her, and also say that Future Christian was also murdered by Clyde. Also to top it off:His mother outlived him, and by the time he died, the ED page and Asperpedia were still up, and that they stayed there well after he died. He never accomplishes his goal of making Sonichu famous and the world only remembers him for his stupidity. What better way to crush his spirit? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*That sounds too suspicious, Crystal simply convincing him she exists is enough to convince him of the future--then, she'll reveal the name of Chris's destined sweetheart in the presence of Clyde Cash(who for some reason will not turn up on the news). A day later Clyde will "have sex" with her "mother" and Crystal will vanish/suddenly act like she came back from the future to help Clyde troll Chris(Clyde is her father).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:20, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*That works. How to convince him time travel is real though? We know that he does think these things are real, hell, he thinks cartoons are real. But he does not think that he'd ever come across time travel users or anything, in spite of his ego. In the mailbag, someone called Gendo once told him that his sister Crystal exists in some form somewhere, and that through mysticism and help from Chris they could make contact. Part of a trolling scheme obviously. Chris's reaction was 'Crystal is not real, don't be silly, i'm not stupid.' He considers her real, but does not believe that she really exists in the real world, so to speak. It'd take a lot of time and effort to really make him believe that someone is a time travelling Crystal. Hes really retarded, really niave, and really gullible. But even he has some degree of common sense. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:40, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*That was Crystal Weston Chandler(sister), we're dealing with Crystal Weston Chandler(daughter) here. His wish that he had a sister is strong, but it's smothered by the other things--note that it was Crystal who was trapped in a mirror instead of Megan(A potential Crystal maker).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:31, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well there IS the case of John Titor but you can look him up on wikipedia and find out he's full of crap. I listen to Coast to Coast AM every now and then and they talk about time travel and describe how it could work (any in-depth analysis by a notable physicist would probably dismiss their theories or realize it's all just speculation) but gullible people, it seems totally real. We could check out such theories and see if there's one we might be able to use. Or am I just getting too far out here? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 20:55, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::::::*No. I think this would be hilarious if we could do it. How though is a different matter. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:01, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Be realistic guys, Chris is gullible, but to an extend, this scheme of Crystal is as possible of convincing chris that someone saw Sonichu in the wild and then photoshop a picture.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 21:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:** It won't be hard. Chris couldn't tell the difference between a picture of Vanessa Hudgeson and Megan Fox; hell. If we showed him a convincing fake such as this(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/9/99/Pikapikachu.jpg), he'd probably believe it; especially if it was, say, photoshopped onto a CNN article. "Real genuine Sonichu found in the wild!" indeed.
:***Try convincing him that Pikachu is real first. Baby steps guys. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:46, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== I think your right ==
I think Chris really does believe hes related to Jesus. Theres so much evidence of it...I mean...Dear Lord...He actually thinks he is the Christ! This needs a mailbag letter and a section in Chris and Religion. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:31, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== PS3 hack ==

That's a brilliant and simple method to get Chris back on the internet. Considering his e-fame, his poor choice of passwords, and his cartoonishly ridiculous gullibility, it should be easy to garner a video response from Chris and is a surefire way to get him back on the internet. It worked with Jack Thaddeus, it worked with Surfshack Tito, and should work again if our predictions are correct. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:59, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
*I think Tito only hacked it because a certain someone leaked the fact that Chris's PSN password had eighteen or so characters(it may have been ChristianWChandler), plus I've never managed to breach either of his Youtubes(just, y'know, to unblock myself). Heck, it might be something in his mangled form of Spainish.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:22, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

==Oh shit==
Heather was mentioned long before January, just not in the comic. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 06:33, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris and race

2010-04-10T06:23:15Z

Sonichuis44: /* Hispanics */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris said he liked this pic.]]
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy]] as a kung-fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian.
Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung-fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]. He also does a horribly racist Japanese impression in [[Bunny Hop]]; although he's pretending to be a rabbit, the fact that he's sticking his teeth out just adds to the racist overtones.

In his real life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. He also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of Chesterfield County's Korean congregation in the [[church audio]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

[[Image:ChingChong.jpg|thumb|The only known image of "Ching Chong".]]
==='''Ching Chong'''===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris present us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"Navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. Instead, it served to illustrate his outrageous insensitivity and callowness.

==Jews==
{{main|Christmas}}

In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate Hannukah. On December 12 members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when Sonichu's daughter Cerah Rosey baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift!

The interesting moment is that there actually is a tradition of eating specially baked foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|the]] [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Spanish]] [[CWC's Pokésite 2|language]], Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized sombrero, and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "Spanish Fly", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create a similar Pokémon named Ludicolo, which they did being far less blatantly stereotypical.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that often times, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for peoples from continental Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic.

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|thumb|Chris is a '''wiggo'''.]]

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]] he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris' perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]", and in the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], making him an official racist. The repercussions of this event included Jack Thaddeus removing his ads from CWCipedia and Mao taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.

==Minority characters in Sonichu==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Native American, lawful good)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (very black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [will turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (unclear, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST policemen)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, never seen)
*In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and sex

2010-04-10T05:49:08Z

Sonichuis44: /* Knowledge of sex and gender */

{{Honest}}

{{Oversized}}

{{Split Off}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use the proper terms - either medical or slang - for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvas "[[china]]". In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful...sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate".<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Chris also suffers from the delusion that his [[duck|penis]] is [[Giant Penis Comic|huge]]. He also has a flaccidity problem, which is possibly a hormonal pathology or [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]]. Despite this obvious lack of virility, he is still a stud in his own mind. However, he has expressed jealousy of men whose penises are over seven inches long.<ref>[[:File:Evan responds to his death.png|Evan responds to his death in Sonichu 10]]</ref>

Chris has advised little children to play with the opposite gender's toys. According to him, boys should get [[My Little Pony]]s, and girls ought to go for [[Transformers]], all to better understand the opposite gender.<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref> In his [[Sonichu 9|Dating ED]] comic, the teacher gave boys "Barbara" dolls, while the girls received "Robert" dolls. Disturbingly enough, these are the names of [[Barbara Chandler|his]] [[Bob Chandler|parents]]. This is consistent with Freudian psychology - to a child, their parents are their model for sexual relationships. Of course, Chris doesn't realize that not everyone is lucky (if you could call it that) enough to have parents like his.

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. His views on women are inadvertently supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!!]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name (JUUULAAAAAAY!!!) in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game — again, copying what he sees in porn. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched and feminine voice, without any real feeling.

Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See also [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay, so he insists on only having female friends ([[gal pal]]s). He admitted to using a ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of [[Megan]]'s, he became hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say:

{{quote|Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."'| Chris, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*" , Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)}}

Chris's answers to fan mail suggest that he is bombarded by constant homoerotic thoughts and uses several unhealthy coping methods to suppress them:

{{quote|Although the gender change would be my "rather-to-do" over becoming a homo, but in your case, I would suggest looking at women more, fantasize yourself with their breasts and pussys [sic]; do this continuously. Hypnotize yourself; every time you have a homo thought, you will feel like you are being shocked by lightning and that it really hurts. And every time you fantasize women, breasts and pussy, you will feel calm, relaxed and good. But DO NOT hurt yourself physically for real; that would be really bad. In other words, you would be reprogramming your brain.|Chris, [[Mailbag 3]]}}

{{quote|First off, should such images enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever. | Chris, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

To further reiterate just how straight he is, Chris released his infamous [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|dildo crushing video]], featuring a sign on the back of his foot — which he uses to proclaim that HE IS STRAIGHT for the 9001st time — containing a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of breasts and a hairy vagina. Because this is what all straight men do to assert their heterosexuality.

In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC fan chat]], Chris went so far as wanting to make homosexuality illegal:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls".|Chris, 02 January 09, 11:59}}

When asked how he would go about this, he commented that homosexuals would be "taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]" and that "prisons will no longer be divided between gender." Take a moment to consider how twisted that would be. He justifies this by saying that "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." Apparently lazy, greedy, sexually lascivious, vengeful retards who wish damnation upon others are all part of God's divine plan.

Chris also believes his "straight" blood could be used to engineer some kind of anti-gay vaccine:

{{quote|Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter [sic] a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... [[Reldnahc]]. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.| Chris, [[Mailbag 1]]}}

The true irony of Chris's homophobia lies in his own logic. Chris hates [[Jerks|every male on the face of the earth]] save his [[Bob Chandler|father]] due to numerous rejections from women, under the guise of them already having boyfriends. [[Dating education|Completely confident]] that he is a perfect Adonis and that there must be some other reason women reject him, Chris took their statements to heart and came up with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. Now, if the the entire gay community were strapped down and tortured into being straight, Chris's already pathetically slim chances of finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] rocket down another notch, increasing the manchild's chances of dying alone, and the Gene Pool taking a step forward.

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

==Pedophilia==

''See also [[Pedofork]]''

[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I AM NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS!"]]
Although the Sonichu series was originally intended for children, Chris put a bunch of porn into issue 8. This included graphic depictions of Sonichu and Rosechu having sex, and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. In the same episode an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." Chris later stated in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]] that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. But in Virginia, it's 18. He also believes that kids can participate in "adult" activities, like perverse satires with adult themes and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision.

All of his attempts at a classified ad for himself always start with "I'm looking for an 18-2X boyfriend free girl…" At his age, being seen with a woman a decade younger than him would be considered socially unacceptable and downright creepy, based on the "half-your-age-plus-seven" tradition. Of course, Chris doesn't understand social mores regarding age differences, so to him, if she's legal and breathing, she's fit as a sexual partner. This leads one to ask how low he'd go. If the legal age were, for example, 14, would he instead be saying "I'm looking for an 14-28 year old boyfriend-free girl…"?

Chris notoriously had sex with [[Kimmi]], an anime blow up doll that looks underage. He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said character and her 8 year old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear… ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in Sonichu #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in the [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics). This obviously brings up many questions.

To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted with shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six-year-old character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series. This could mean that he looks down on someone going after someone so young or it could just be shock that someone shares a [[Love Quest|common interest]] with him. In addition, he stated that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|bestiality]] is wrong, but didn't mention the age factor.

Another thing to note is that Chris's own character [[Rosechu]] is based off [[Amy Rose]], another character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and one who is only twelve years old in canon.<ref>http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Amy_Rose</ref>

It's possible Chris only cares about getting his [[china]], and not so much how old it is. Then again, he doesn't ask for girls any older than him on his [[sign]], so clearly he [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|likes 'em young]], so to speak. But this also might be a throwback from his "old-fashioned" rearing, which demands that the woman must be younger.

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]]. Recently Chris [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|has attempted]] to get [[the Wallflower]] to have sex with him because a prostitute would cost too much.

==Chris and rape==
{{Quote|I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.|Chris, a man who groped a [[Kacey|woman]] the first time he met her.}}

As Chris's sexual frustrations continue to build and build, some observers have raised the unsettling question of whether he might try to force himself on a woman. The possibility does seem real - his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]] provides many examples of his [[Autism|inability to understand]] the importance of respecting physical boundaries and the simple fact that "no means no."

Thanks to his characteristic lack of empathy, Chris has almost no grasp on how emotional and physical intimacies develop in the real world. [[Anime]] and porn have taught him all the wrong lessons — he assumes that sex is something that just happens, and usually sooner rather than later. He quite literally believes the joke statement, "rape is how they say 'hello' in Japan". Being a retard, he assumes that not only is that true, but that it applies to Western culture as well. He took it as a given that Megan would put out if he won the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest and took her to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]. In his conversations with [[Vivian Gee]], he professed a belief that sex automatically happens after the [[third date]]. During his feud with [[CChanSonichuCWC]], he seemed to think that he’d be able to get some if he lured his rival's girlfriend [[Kacey]] to his house, and never mind that she'd probably be able to tell the difference between Chris and her ''real'' boyfriend. This is him again believing that everyone is as stupid and terrible with faces as he is.

Whether Chris understands rape as a concept is up for debate. He claims that he knows what rape is, but at the very least, his self-absorption and lack of empathy mean that he doesn't understand the gravity of rape, or its long-term consequences for the victim. It is possible that the only reason he knows anything about rape is through porn, where it isn't portrayed as bad, and the girl always ends up enjoying it in the end.

As stated above, Chris has claimed that in his ideal world, homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' It is unknown if Chris would obtain permission from the women before putting them to work "reprogramming" gay men, but the fact that he specifies prison inmates seems to imply that he doesn't expect the women to cooperate willingly. He also fails to realize that "reprogramming" homosexuals by forcing them to have sex with women constitutes rape. The fact that he believes prisons being co-ed would reduce the incidence of homosexuality shows that he is, on some level, aware that homosexual sex and rape occurs in prison, but he doesn't specify whether integration would allow men and women to have consensual relations or just shift the rape from male on male to male on female.

When [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|confronted with the news]] that his sweetheart [[PandaHalo]] had been raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and become pregnant as a result, Chris was easily distracted from the emotional impact of what had happened, and instead focused most of his attention on what kind of domestic arrangements would result, or whether he might have to forgo his trip to Nintendo of America headquarters in order to pay for an abortion. His first reaction was to tell her that he wouldn't blame her or "hold it against [her]". Any woman assumes as long as her mate isn't a misogynistic asshole that he wouldn't blame her, and being "reassured" of such isn't exactly comforting or helpful. Chris was even willing to accept the mind-boggling possibility that Panda might want to live with Clyde, and raise her child alongside him.

While [[IRC (23 July 2009)|pretending to be a troll]] in an IRC conversation, Chris suggested twice that the trolls should instigate him to rape [[Rocky]]. Whether Chris actually wants to rape Rocky and then use the trolls as a convenient scapegoat ("They made me do it!"), or whether he is particularly awful at bluffing, remains a mystery.

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris reveals that he had traveled forward in time and, aside from finding the cure for homosexuality, he also meets his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]]. Mistaking Chris for his future self, his wife invites him home for some sexing. Chris seems to think that there's nothing wrong with having sex with a woman if she thinks you're someone else. Chris falls back on the old standby, "if she didn't say no, it's not rape." Like his stance on [[Women's Rights]], where he maintains he's not a chauvinist because he'd never physically abuse a woman, Chris fails to realize that there's more to it than that.

In his video [[IPods Down and Listen Up]], Chris "sings" about sexual assault with him as the "star" rapist. The lyrics describe the victim as a "[[Niggos|sleek, sexy panther]]" whom he fails to ambush as she flees. Then [[Sonichu's Edge|he chases her]], wears her out and, in his own words, ''"...You take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump (pump-pump, pump) ..."'' until impregnation.

Despite all these foreboding implications, however, it helps to keep a few practical facts in mind. Chris is a [[Chris and health|physically decrepit]] coward with an incredibly low threshold of pain. If he ever attempted to assault a woman, he probably wouldn’t get very far. For the sake of all involved, anyway, let's hope so. This is assuming that he doesn't squash her first with his [[obesity|massive girth]], in which case, there would be a problem.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and sex

2010-04-10T05:43:24Z

Sonichuis44: /* Knowledge of sex and gender */

{{Honest}}

{{Oversized}}

{{Split Off}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use the proper terms - either medical or slang - for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvas "[[china]]". In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful...sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate".<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Chris also suffers from the delusion that his [[duck|penis]] is [[Giant Penis Comic|huge]]. He also has a flaccidity problem, which is possibly a hormonal pathology or [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]]. Despite this obvious lack of virility, he is still a stud in his own mind. However, he has expressed jealousy of men whose penises are over seven inches long.<ref>[[:File:Evan responds to his death.png|Evan responds to his death in Sonichu 10]]</ref>

Chris has advised little children to play with the opposite gender's toys. According to him, boys should get [[My Little Pony]]s, and girls ought to go for [[Transformers]], all to better understand the opposite gender.<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref> In his [[Sonichu 9|Dating ED]] comic, the teacher gave boys "Barbara" dolls, while the girls received "Robert" dolls. Disturbingly enough, these are the names of his parents. This is consistent with Freudian psychology - to a child, their parents are their model for sexual relationships. Of course, Chris doesn't realize that not everyone is lucky (if you could call it that) enough to have parents like his.

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. This view is supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!!]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name (JUUULAAAAAAY!!!) in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game — again, copying what he sees in porn. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched and feminine voice, without any real feeling.

Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See also [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay, so he insists on only having female friends ([[gal pal]]s). He admitted to using a ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of [[Megan]]'s, he became hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say:

{{quote|Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."'| Chris, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*" , Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)}}

Chris's answers to fan mail suggest that he is bombarded by constant homoerotic thoughts and uses several unhealthy coping methods to suppress them:

{{quote|Although the gender change would be my "rather-to-do" over becoming a homo, but in your case, I would suggest looking at women more, fantasize yourself with their breasts and pussys [sic]; do this continuously. Hypnotize yourself; every time you have a homo thought, you will feel like you are being shocked by lightning and that it really hurts. And every time you fantasize women, breasts and pussy, you will feel calm, relaxed and good. But DO NOT hurt yourself physically for real; that would be really bad. In other words, you would be reprogramming your brain.|Chris, [[Mailbag 3]]}}

{{quote|First off, should such images enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever. | Chris, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

To further reiterate just how straight he is, Chris released his infamous [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|dildo crushing video]], featuring a sign on the back of his foot — which he uses to proclaim that HE IS STRAIGHT for the 9001st time — containing a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of breasts and a hairy vagina. Because this is what all straight men do to assert their heterosexuality.

In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC fan chat]], Chris went so far as wanting to make homosexuality illegal:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls".|Chris, 02 January 09, 11:59}}

When asked how he would go about this, he commented that homosexuals would be "taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]" and that "prisons will no longer be divided between gender." Take a moment to consider how twisted that would be. He justifies this by saying that "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." Apparently lazy, greedy, sexually lascivious, vengeful retards who wish damnation upon others are all part of God's divine plan.

Chris also believes his "straight" blood could be used to engineer some kind of anti-gay vaccine:

{{quote|Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter [sic] a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... [[Reldnahc]]. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.| Chris, [[Mailbag 1]]}}

The true irony of Chris's homophobia lies in his own logic. Chris hates [[Jerks|every male on the face of the earth]] save his [[Bob Chandler|father]] due to numerous rejections from women, under the guise of them already having boyfriends. [[Dating education|Completely confident]] that he is a perfect Adonis and that there must be some other reason women reject him, Chris took their statements to heart and came up with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. Now, if the the entire gay community were strapped down and tortured into being straight, Chris's already pathetically slim chances of finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] rocket down another notch, increasing the manchild's chances of dying alone, and the Gene Pool taking a step forward.

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

==Pedophilia==

''See also [[Pedofork]]''

[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I AM NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS!"]]
Although the Sonichu series was originally intended for children, Chris put a bunch of porn into issue 8. This included graphic depictions of Sonichu and Rosechu having sex, and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. In the same episode an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." Chris later stated in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]] that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. But in Virginia, it's 18. He also believes that kids can participate in "adult" activities, like perverse satires with adult themes and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision.

All of his attempts at a classified ad for himself always start with "I'm looking for an 18-2X boyfriend free girl…" At his age, being seen with a woman a decade younger than him would be considered socially unacceptable and downright creepy, based on the "half-your-age-plus-seven" tradition. Of course, Chris doesn't understand social mores regarding age differences, so to him, if she's legal and breathing, she's fit as a sexual partner. This leads one to ask how low he'd go. If the legal age were, for example, 14, would he instead be saying "I'm looking for an 14-28 year old boyfriend-free girl…"?

Chris notoriously had sex with [[Kimmi]], an anime blow up doll that looks underage. He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said character and her 8 year old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear… ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in Sonichu #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in the [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics). This obviously brings up many questions.

To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted with shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six-year-old character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series. This could mean that he looks down on someone going after someone so young or it could just be shock that someone shares a [[Love Quest|common interest]] with him. In addition, he stated that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|bestiality]] is wrong, but didn't mention the age factor.

Another thing to note is that Chris's own character [[Rosechu]] is based off [[Amy Rose]], another character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and one who is only twelve years old in canon.<ref>http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Amy_Rose</ref>

It's possible Chris only cares about getting his [[china]], and not so much how old it is. Then again, he doesn't ask for girls any older than him on his [[sign]], so clearly he [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|likes 'em young]], so to speak. But this also might be a throwback from his "old-fashioned" rearing, which demands that the woman must be younger.

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]]. Recently Chris [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|has attempted]] to get [[the Wallflower]] to have sex with him because a prostitute would cost too much.

==Chris and rape==
{{Quote|I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.|Chris, a man who groped a [[Kacey|woman]] the first time he met her.}}

As Chris's sexual frustrations continue to build and build, some observers have raised the unsettling question of whether he might try to force himself on a woman. The possibility does seem real - his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]] provides many examples of his [[Autism|inability to understand]] the importance of respecting physical boundaries and the simple fact that "no means no."

Thanks to his characteristic lack of empathy, Chris has almost no grasp on how emotional and physical intimacies develop in the real world. [[Anime]] and porn have taught him all the wrong lessons — he assumes that sex is something that just happens, and usually sooner rather than later. He quite literally believes the joke statement, "rape is how they say 'hello' in Japan". Being a retard, he assumes that not only is that true, but that it applies to Western culture as well. He took it as a given that Megan would put out if he won the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest and took her to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]. In his conversations with [[Vivian Gee]], he professed a belief that sex automatically happens after the [[third date]]. During his feud with [[CChanSonichuCWC]], he seemed to think that he’d be able to get some if he lured his rival's girlfriend [[Kacey]] to his house, and never mind that she'd probably be able to tell the difference between Chris and her ''real'' boyfriend. This is him again believing that everyone is as stupid and terrible with faces as he is.

Whether Chris understands rape as a concept is up for debate. He claims that he knows what rape is, but at the very least, his self-absorption and lack of empathy mean that he doesn't understand the gravity of rape, or its long-term consequences for the victim. It is possible that the only reason he knows anything about rape is through porn, where it isn't portrayed as bad, and the girl always ends up enjoying it in the end.

As stated above, Chris has claimed that in his ideal world, homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' It is unknown if Chris would obtain permission from the women before putting them to work "reprogramming" gay men, but the fact that he specifies prison inmates seems to imply that he doesn't expect the women to cooperate willingly. He also fails to realize that "reprogramming" homosexuals by forcing them to have sex with women constitutes rape. The fact that he believes prisons being co-ed would reduce the incidence of homosexuality shows that he is, on some level, aware that homosexual sex and rape occurs in prison, but he doesn't specify whether integration would allow men and women to have consensual relations or just shift the rape from male on male to male on female.

When [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|confronted with the news]] that his sweetheart [[PandaHalo]] had been raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and become pregnant as a result, Chris was easily distracted from the emotional impact of what had happened, and instead focused most of his attention on what kind of domestic arrangements would result, or whether he might have to forgo his trip to Nintendo of America headquarters in order to pay for an abortion. His first reaction was to tell her that he wouldn't blame her or "hold it against [her]". Any woman assumes as long as her mate isn't a misogynistic asshole that he wouldn't blame her, and being "reassured" of such isn't exactly comforting or helpful. Chris was even willing to accept the mind-boggling possibility that Panda might want to live with Clyde, and raise her child alongside him.

While [[IRC (23 July 2009)|pretending to be a troll]] in an IRC conversation, Chris suggested twice that the trolls should instigate him to rape [[Rocky]]. Whether Chris actually wants to rape Rocky and then use the trolls as a convenient scapegoat ("They made me do it!"), or whether he is particularly awful at bluffing, remains a mystery.

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris reveals that he had traveled forward in time and, aside from finding the cure for homosexuality, he also meets his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]]. Mistaking Chris for his future self, his wife invites him home for some sexing. Chris seems to think that there's nothing wrong with having sex with a woman if she thinks you're someone else. Chris falls back on the old standby, "if she didn't say no, it's not rape." Like his stance on [[Women's Rights]], where he maintains he's not a chauvinist because he'd never physically abuse a woman, Chris fails to realize that there's more to it than that.

In his video [[IPods Down and Listen Up]], Chris "sings" about sexual assault with him as the "star" rapist. The lyrics describe the victim as a "[[Niggos|sleek, sexy panther]]" whom he fails to ambush as she flees. Then [[Sonichu's Edge|he chases her]], wears her out and, in his own words, ''"...You take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump (pump-pump, pump) ..."'' until impregnation.

Despite all these foreboding implications, however, it helps to keep a few practical facts in mind. Chris is a [[Chris and health|physically decrepit]] coward with an incredibly low threshold of pain. If he ever attempted to assault a woman, he probably wouldn’t get very far. For the sake of all involved, anyway, let's hope so. This is assuming that he doesn't squash her first with his [[obesity|massive girth]], in which case, there would be a problem.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and the industry

2010-04-10T03:27:34Z

Sonichuis44:

{{incomplete}}

Chris has had numerous '''aspirations to work in creative industries'''. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official Sonichu video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, for the reasons best known to himself, he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

== Publishing ==

In the [[Sonichu Chronicles]] and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his art isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as Archie Comics or Marvel, creating his Sonichu comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in case of "original" creations. In the case of an original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the wheat from the chaff and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't,) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot; if the Sonichu Chronicles PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on Sonichu comics.

Even ''if'' Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even still, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (one every two months). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common (DC Comics, for example, experimented with the weekly format in the 1980s with ''Action Comics Weekly'', which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''Action Comics'' title. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''52'', ''Countdown'' and ''Trinity''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival that of infamous artist [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris is an asshole|resisted attempts to educate him]] in this regard.

== Fan fiction and ideas from the public ==

Chris could approach Sega and Nintendo and ask them to make Sonichu games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure.

None of the media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

Firstly, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give equal amount of thought on the bazillion ideas fans send them. While the game companies ''do'' listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''Fire Emblem'' games got worldwide release was because the fans of Marth and Roy from ''Super Smash Bros. Melee'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't Nintendo releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying, as Chris so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their previous time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Secondly, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with the exact same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist Terry Pratchett, who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. Game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris a lot of times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games takes a lot of effort - in Edison's words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration'. Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games - if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Theoretically, it would be possible, though highly unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough the make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris' current skill at art).

== Other publication channels ==

Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels. The idea has only recently been addressed, with [[Clyde Cash]] posting Chris's comics on Lulu.com; Chris so far has only responded by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later.

The thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. People have been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' — the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera, and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often.

== Sauces ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Superbot400

2010-04-10T03:26:22Z

Sonichuis44: Created page with '{{welcome}} Also, if I may, work on your grammar and wiki formatting skills, and please make your edits in the appropriate section of the article so it has a nice flow. --~~~~'

{{welcome}}

Also, if I may, work on your grammar and wiki formatting skills, and please make your edits in the appropriate section of the article so it has a nice flow. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 03:26, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Naïve

2010-04-10T03:24:02Z

Sonichuis44:

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris to [[CChanSonichuCWC]]}}

{{quote|I'm not saying I'm dumb...or naïve.|Chris, being ironic}}

{{quote|I do not care much that you refer to me as "benevolent"; it sounds derogatory.|Chris, [[Mailbag 5]]}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults.

Chris has called others (largely [[trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. In a comment on one of [[CChanSonichuCWC]]'s videos, Chris calls his voice "more grating than the word 'naïve'". Later in the same saga, he remarks that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "about as bad as the word naïve to me now". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

== Ways Chris is Naive ==
* He believes that just because [[Sonichu]] is a popular internet topic, means that he has a million fans.
* He believes that everyone shares [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that just because [[Asperger's]] is a different name than [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]], it's a completely different syndrome, despite no proof of this belief.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]]

==Sauce==
<references />

{{stub}}

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Naïve

2010-04-10T03:16:49Z

Sonichuis44:

Why all the external links? Isn't this going a little bit overboard? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:50, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
*It looks like somebody doesn't know how to wikiformat. I'll fix it. [[Stress Sigh|*sigh*]] --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 03:16, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Dating profiles

2010-04-10T03:07:03Z

Sonichuis44:

Okay then. Needed:
*Match.com page information. I have no idea how to get to it.
*Decide to keep the OKCupid and Book of Matches stuff listed here or give them their own pages or what.
*Clean up my awful writing.
I guess we could use some categories too or something.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:33, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

*Does he even HAVE a match.com page? I just checked through the Charlottesville and Ruckersville listings with pretty liberal constraints and couldn't find him. It may be that he closed it though. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 19:06, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
**The [[Dating]] page says he has one, so I assume he at least had one at one point. It might have gotten deleted or something, I guess.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:*AHAHA! I found a new one: PlentyofFish.com. This is it: http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=14744834
Honestly, all I did was google "Dating websites" and started to go through the list, OkCupid was first and Plenty of Fish was the second. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 19:16, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::* The PoF one looks like a troll put it together. A tetch too over the top. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:26, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*Hmmm, perhaps you're right. I'll get rid of it then. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 19:33, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Guys, keep in mind that trolls frequently make fake profiles, so it's more likely that it's a troll than genuine Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:32, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== match.com found ==
http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ==
some "new" old pictures i think [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:20, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:"Sign in and see more of his profile". Anybody got a match.com account?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:30, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Split this? ==

So when I made this page, all I had was the OKCupid and BookOfMatches pages and the text on those two barely amounts to a single paragraph.

But the match.com stuff goes on for almost as long at the hook cafe. I'm thinking We should probably give that it's own page.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:06, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

==Chronology==
The current text says his Match.com profile was from February 2009, but the text of it says he's "doing well at PVCC," implying it's from much earlier. Did he just sloppily cuntpaste the text from somewhere else, or is this older than listed? --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 03:07, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Dating profiles

2010-04-10T03:03:39Z

Sonichuis44:

Chris has created a number of profiles for dating websites over the years. Like everything else Chris does, these endeavors are usually made of pure fail.

==Match.com==
{{main|Match.com}}

Chris's Match.com profile is his oldest online personal ad, dating back to when he still attended [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], hung out at [[The Game Place]], and wasn't quite so corpulent and maladjusted as he would eventually become. It appears to have been just as ineffective as all of the others, however.

==OKCupid==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|Screencap of Chris's OKCupid profile]]

OKCupid is one of the more popular dating websites, and matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as Match.com, OKCupid allows users to message and search each other for free, only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. The ability to stalk thousands of internet girls without paying a dime must have been a very attractive prospect for Chris.

Chris created his OKCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it very quickly — his final login was in early [[March 2009|March]]. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of true and honest love. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual sex."

===Profile Text===

I am Autistic, Fun, and Creative.

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm young at heart. I'm currently writing a comic book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a beautiful girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I am doing very well at PVCC. A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but I am totally different. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.
Who I'd like to meet:
Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' New friends, Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, Long-distance penpals, Casual sex

==Book of Matches==
[[File:BookOfMatchProfile.jpg|thumb|Screenshot of Chris's BoM page.]]

It's unclear when Chris made this profile, but given his stated age, it probably was made around late 2008 or early 2009, around the same time as his first Hook Cafe ad. While the staples of half-assery are still present, it's clear Chris spent more time on this page then he did on his OKCupid profile. Many of the statements here are just repetitions of the Chris-chan facts we all know and love, though: his fantasy of a daughter named Crystal, McDonald's as a first date, and so on. [[Honest Content|True and Honest]], perhaps, but hardly a way to impress babes. Chris also seems to believe that citing Mary Poppins as the greatest movie ever will somehow have a positive effect on the ladies.

===Profile Text===
'''If you like me, find me In Person, and let me know.'''

*Charlottesville, Virginia
*Response Rate: 0%
*Above average
*[[Ego|Sensually hot]]
*Pisces
*Caucasian
*M
*26 years of age
*5'9 - 5'10
*Single
*Artsy Gamer
*Here For Long Term Relationship

'''Things that have bothered me:'''
 When they are false friends; when they would just dump me after one mistake, or something as dumb.
 '''I am looking for:'''
 In a nutshell, 18-years to my current age, Caring, Smoke-Free, Non-Alcholic, white and Boyfriend-Free.
 '''Cool Movies:'''
 Of all time, Mary Poppins.
 '''My Favorite Groups are:'''
 All kinds; classic, jazz, country, pop, rock, etc.
 '''I am looking for a personality like:'''
 I'm not certain, but as long as the woman likes me for me, and will stay by and care about me, all things considered, I'll feel better. I feel that I am a good listener, and I can make her laugh and/or feel good (but then again, it depends on her point of view).
 '''Willingness to meet others from boM:'''
 I am willing to meet WOMEN from this service, as long as they live within the Ruckersville or Charlottesville, VA area, and if they currently do not have (or preferably never had) a Boyfriend.
 '''Are you ready to start from scratch?'''
 I WANT to start a relationship [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the Ground-Up]]. I may have a few things already put behind me, but I will make it a point to keep [[Homos|those]] [[Racism|issues]] out of the way of current or future issues. I am to be continued.
 '''My typical day:'''
 Personally, I have never been on a date before in my life. But for my first date, I'd keep it simple with a beverage (or shared meal) at [[McDonalds]], or similar resteraunt.
 '''My Wish List Includes:'''
 I dream of getting married, and having a daughter named [[Crystal]].

==The Hook Cafe==
{{main|The Hook Cafe}}

Chris has put up at least two personal ads on the website of his local alternative weekly paper. One, dating to around the beginning of [[2009]], was hacked before its contents could be preserved for posterity. The second, however, found in [[April 2010]], was successfully mirrored by the CWCki. A few days after it was initially discovered, the ad mysteriously disappeared (and was completely deleted from the site, unlike Chris's first ad, which he simply hid from public view after regaining access to it).

[[Category:Websites]]

Talk:Liquid Chris

2010-01-19T02:43:45Z

Sonichuis44: /* REWRITE COMMENCING */

Okay, we need to separate the facts from the trolling. The joke is hilarious, but we are a wiki. At some point, we have to provide info. I gave it shot. Still needs moar pictures. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 05:49, 27 July 2009 (CEST)

----

This is just personal opinion and it's obviously going to be hard to entirely wind the gears backwards with this joke, but I think that a good way to reuse this joke when it inevitably runs its course would be to act like Chris-chan has died and that the mimic is merely assuming his place to fill the gap he would leave in all our hearts, and taking over the reigns on Sonichu in his honor. I can only imagine how Chris-chan would react to that. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 03:44, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

A bit esoteric for my taste, but a decent idea. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 01:00, 1 August 2009 (CEST)

----

Suggestion for the lulz: Both CWC's are TRUE and HONEST, except CChanSonichuCWC is from an alternate dimension where his parents died early, and he ended up adopted by a family that taught him about social interaction, basic hygiene, and got him professional help for his autism; so he ended up becoming eccentric-but-lovable.

Or else they're both clones from the Les Enfants Autistcs program and Chris-chan just got the short end of the gene stick (will Chris start aging early? Will CChanSonichuCWC get his arm cut off and then grafted onto Clyde Cash and take over Clyde's mind?). [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 23:18, 4 August 2009 (CEST)

==Liquid Chris==
When is it appropriate to label CChanSonichuCWC as "Liquid" Chris? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 06:20, 5 August 2009 (CEST)
*To differentiate from Solid Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:20, 5 August 2009 (CEST)
**Cute. [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 06:25, 5 August 2009 (CEST)
*** We need a Solidus as well then--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 01:34, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
**** I vote [http://www.commuterbarnacle.com/gonterman/ David Gonterman]. He's older than both of them, has many of the same properties, such as: he makes horrendous barely-changed-from-original-material comics and (fan)fiction (if you're a masochist, check out his [http://daveykinsfoxfire.deviantart.com DeviantART account] or google "Scarlet Foxfire"), can't draw or write to save his life, persists relentlessly despite his lack of talent, was trolled mercilessly in his prime, most likely fat and has brown hair and glasses (if that one picture floating around of him is real), and has had some 'sweetheart' troubles in the past (though not as many as CWC, but there was LilMarcieMouse, who apparently was much younger than him) .. we can always joke that "David Gonterman" is just an assumed name like how Solidus was "George Sears" ...oh, and he has the delusion that he can somehow make it commercially ''any day now''. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 21:42, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
***** It is a good match but the said person has to be connected to Solid and Liquid.Plus we need
the rest of the cast as well.
Eva-
Otacon-
Akiba-
Meryl-
etc.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 07:13, 7 August 2009 (CEST)
* I know it was a real tenuous connection and in retrospect it makes no sense, but it was worth a shot, lol. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 20:23, 7 August 2009 (CEST)
::I thought it was obvious that Solidus Chris goes by the name "George W. Bush". [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 07:00, 14 August 2009 (CEST)

==Identity Theft==
Chris's hissy-fit on this issue is made all the worse by his insistence that someone wearing similar clothing and mimicking your speech impediment counts as "identity theft." I don't know much on the subject, but maybe this sign of Chris's irrational jealousy could be incorporated somehow?[[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 18:34, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
*Imposter Chris is just angry that the REAL AND HONEST chris is everything he wishes to be.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 21:41, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
*Actually, does anyone know if Liquid Chris has done any kind of action whatsoever that can be considered illegal? --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 02:20, 10 August 2009 (CEST)
**Under the premise of parody, Chris can't accuse of libel. Besides Liquid's impersonation only portraits the good qualities that Chris "possesses", so it could be perjudicial to him to say "Stop that man! He is potraying me as a normal, productive member of society!". --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 05:40, 10 August 2009 (CEST)
::*This. Seriously, Liquid is doing Chris a favor, bringing credit to the Christian Weston Chandler name and Chris could be using this as an opportunity to tell trolls to troll the real CWC. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:31, 10 August 2009 (CEST)

==Separate Pages for Liquid's video==
While this is normally a site dedicated to the antics of Ian Brandon Anderson (erronously CWC), I think it might be useful have separate pages for CChanSonichuCWC's videos from the CWCivil War (the early videos we can just briefly mention or link to, that is pre-Ian). However, I'd like some feedback first before starting anything. Any thoughts? I suggest this since Liquid is to the best of my knowledge the first troll who has released a series of videos to which Chris has responded to (as opposed to just IMing Chris or making videos that, while my notable individuals, are not addressed by Chris or making videos that are popular involving Chris but Chris is not aware of).

Also, since I have a feeling Liquid might be deleting his videos as he's going to [[Redmond]], I'll have to ask the TheCWCvilleLibrary Archivist if she can archive Liquid's videos for posterity. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:09, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

*Liquid has just released his second video since his disappearance. If Chris reacts to it and the new video gets included, this page is going to get cluttered as new developments continue. I think the best thing to do would be to have this page be simply about CChanSonichuCWC the man, with two or three separate pages giving accounts of the various sub-sagas (Pre-Ian CWCivil War, Ian and the SingStar Challenge, and The Return of the King or whatever). Then on this page, there can be a few sections that give a brief summary of those events and then link to those main pages. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 05:46, 22 October 2009 (CEST)

==Idea here==

We should convince Chris-chan that CChanSonichuCWC was mistaking him for a different person who really WAS named Ian Brandon Anderson all along, and that the TRUE and REAL Ian has indeed kidnapped him. If anything I'd love to see how Chris would react to that, if at all. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 02:28, 17 August 2009 (CEST)

== Rewrite ==

With everything that happened in the second half of the Liquid Saga, this page could really use a rewrite.

Maybe a name change as well. "Liquid Chris" flows off the tounge much better than "CChanSonichuCWC". I mean, Vivian Gee isn't known by her YouTube screen name. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:49, 18 November 2009 (CET)

Agreed. I don't know how to rename shit, but I can update the article --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:26, 21 November 2009 (CET)

*I'm starting to consider a renaming as well. When the article was first created (I think I created it), I had no idea what to call it as the "Liquid" differentiation wasn't coined yet or at least not yet caught on, but since the Liquid Chris name has indeed caught on and any troll will know what you're talking about. Thoughts, people? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:18, 27 November 2009 (CET)

*Yeah, it would suit me fine, it seems to have become the conventional usage. "Liquid Chris" is easier to type when you're linking to it, too. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:56, 27 November 2009 (CET)

== Showdown phone call ==

Would there be any objection to moving the showdown phone call to it's own page? Now that we've got a lot of phone calls on this wiki I was thinking about giving the showdown phone call it's own page and sprucing up the transcript. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 00:41, 8 December 2009 (CET)
*Sure. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:22, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==This article kind of sucks==
I just noticed that this article doesn't really explain who exactly Liquid Chris is, how he trolled Chris, the SingStar Challenge, etc. in any but the most general terms. Most of the length of the article is devoted to "theories" and a chatlog. I wasn't into the trolling scene at the time, and have no knowledge of the source material, so while the motto of a wiki is "so improve it, dumbass," I think I'm unqualified for the task. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 03:17, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

===REWRITE COMMENCING===
New subheadings are in place for the basic parts of the Liquid Saga. Please help flesh them out with details, pictures, citations, quotes, etc. The [[Kacey]] article needs to be reorganized, too, because that part of the saga is big enough to warrant a separate page. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:11, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
:It's already looking much better, g'job --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 02:43, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

== Why was "Theory" moved into the fan namespace? ==

I am not angry, I just want some rationale.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:51, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

*It's long and not very encyclopedic. Only the first of the six bullets is actually legit; the rest are basically fan-fic (interesting, but pulled out of somebody's ass). Parallel Dimension? Government Experiment?

:One of the big criticisms of this article was how much filler it had vs. categorized info about Liquid and the events around him. As we flesh out the story, that first bullet will be explained elsewhere. The rest of the "Theories" might otherwise just get deleted, and I thought they were fun enough to keep around. Thoughts? --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 01:59, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

Blanca Weiss

2010-01-19T00:35:56Z

Sonichuis44:

[[Image:Blanka.jpg|thumb|right|Blanca IRL. Somehow Chris ignored the fact that someone with green skin could only be a troll.]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|right|Letter enclosed with the Medallions, with Chris believing that Blanca was his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart.]]

{{quote|Blanca is real. I talked to her. Yeah, she called me. So, uh, as for the person who, uh, as for the jerk who, uh, posed with the ay... KawaiiKitsune name? If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls.|Chris on Blanca, [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|13 September 2008]]}}

{{quote|Rest assured she [Blanca] is not a troll, so nobody say otherwise. I have talked to her on webcam and video--and, uh, audio and have heard her voice over mic--over her microphone, to my speakers and headphones.|Chris on Blanca, [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|09 October 2008]]}}

'''Blanca Weiss''' ( a.k.a. '''KawaiiKitsune123''') was the identity assumed by trolls who posed as Chris's sweetheart in order to get one thing: the [[Medallion of Fail]].

The group pulling the strings was a trio of YouTube trolls. Two of them, going by the handles RickyRicardo123 and Nurse Icky-chan, talked to Chris via IM and telephone respectively. The third, Ickeriss69, received the package containing the medallions (as well as the enclosed [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|love letter]]) and uploaded the videos of the Sonichu medallion being destroyed.
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|O-TP2wCucZo}}</center>

Some argue that aside from the medallion destruction, the team behind the "real" Blanca (as opposed to [[Lordsillynipples]], who impersonated her after the original group had created the identity) did nothing except keep Chris to themselves, telling Chris to not make videos, stopping him from releasing content, etc.

Despite many people telling him Blanca is not real, and even after the medallion was destroyed on film, ''Chris still continued to believe Blanca was real.''

Since the destruction of the medallions, the three trolls have largely faded into obscurity.

The name Blanca Weiss is just a feminine version of the Spanish word for white (blanca) and the German word for white (weiss), Blanca Weiss is literally just white female, Chris's personal preference in sweethearts.

==FCTC==
The trio were good friends with several members of the Fried Chicken Trolling Crew (FCTC), a now-defunct trolling group known for trolling various individuals & groups on youtube. Some photos (read: nudes) were shown to the FCTC, who later posted the images onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] after posting the group's watermark onto them.

{{quote|there was internal bullshit with the Chris-Chan thing (Ricky, Blanca, and myself were pissed about the watermarks and the fact everything was released before the troll was done yet).|Ickeriss69}}

==The Many Faces of Blanca==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:BlancaFake01.jpg|The "original" Blanca, which Chris would base his depiction of Blanca in the comic.
Image:BlancaFake02.jpg|Another known image of "Blanca."
Image:SchuComic8P69.jpg|Blanca, depicted with her fan character [[Jiggliami]] as they discuss how Chris is stuck in the [[Time Void]], is based off this Aryan version of Blanca.
</gallery>
</center>

==Related Images==
<gallery>
Image:BWDA01-001.jpg|Blanca signs up for DeviantArt
Image:BWSkype01-001.jpg|...and Skype
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Boyfriend-free girl]] 

{{BlancaSaga}}

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Talk:Chris and authority

2010-01-06T04:05:37Z

Sonichuis44:

Is there any reason why people can't just look at the pages to see how Chris responds to these authorities? I can summarize this in one sentence - Chris will respect people who are not confrontational with him and can give him something. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:58, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

Damn. I think this is the third new "Chris and" page I have seen in the last week! Is there a sale at the local CWCki-Mart for knock-off entries? At best, this page is a sidebar entry on the "Chris and the Law" article. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 00:11, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

:My very first major additions to this wiki were to help start Chris and Music, Chris and Remorse, and Chris and English. But this is just getting ridiculous.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:26, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

:*Those pages you worked on at least take aspects of Chris and are appropriate given the breadth of this topic. This is more or less a very narrow topic that can easily be said elsewhere, and as Griffintown said, could be incorporated in part into "Chris and the Law." I'm glad people like the "Chris and" series but that doesn't mean every article on the CWCki has to be a "Chris and" article. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:31, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

::*Agreed. I mean, I love the "Chris and" subtopics (I mean, I created "Chris and Art" and expanded "Chris and his Ego"), but, yeah. Not everything needs it. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 01:22, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

There is no new, interesting, or entertaining information in this article. I say to hell with it. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:04, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

:*Yeah. This page looks like a mish mash of "Chris and the law", Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh.--[[User:Rob|Rob]] 01:42, 6 January 2010 (UTC)rob

Agreed it's redundant, but from a semantics perspetive, wouldn't "Chris and the Law" be a subset of this, and not vice-versa? --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 01:58, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:I would say that "Law" implies a societal norm the reader can relate to while "Authority" is somewhat vague. Up to a point, a punk and/or a Emo would share Chris's point of view. The law is an objective value that we can use as a reference point. This is why that text should be on top. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:47, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
::I dunno, I see the law as only one source of authority over Chris - his parents are/should be another, Mary Lee Walsh is/was another, etc. A punk or emo would have no more respect for the law - it being a source of authority - than Chris, though probably for different reasons (philosophical beliefs vs. "I WANT CHINA"). --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 04:05, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and authority

2010-01-06T01:58:17Z

Sonichuis44:

Talk:Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction

2010-01-06T01:53:54Z

Sonichuis44: /* Family Guy Quote */

==Dirty, Crapped Briefs==

Now is it just for humor's sake or does everyone actually assume that the "Pffft" sound effect is Sammy crapping himself? I've just always assumed it was the noise of the Ghost Buggy's tires deflating. [[User:Sammy|Sammy]] 12:56, 9 July 2009 (CEST)

:When [[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] originally transcribed the video, he marked that as the sound of Sammy shitting himself. When I revised the transcript, I kept that interpretation. Having just re-watched the video, I'm sticking by that judgment call.
:For one thing, Sammy immediately afterwards remarks to his own horror that the Ghost Buggy isn't the bathroom. That would seem to imply that he just shit everywhere, having assumed that he had finally found a toilet.
:For another thing, immediately after that remark from Sammy, Chris comments that the joke is that the Ghost Buggy has no wheels (because they'd just rocketed off when Sammy landed). It seems unlikely that the tires would have both shot off ''and'' deflated (although, with Chris, anything is possible).
:Whatever the case may be, the thought of Sammy shitting himself in the Ghost Buggy is damn funny, and unless somebody proves that that's not what's happening, I'm more than willing to let that description stand. Face it: your namesake has [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|DCBs]]. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 16:46, 9 July 2009 (CEST)

==Captain's Log==
Is it really a Captain's Log (as listed on [[List of Videos]])?

If so, then it should be moved to the appropriate name. If not, it should be struck from the rolls of "captain's logs." --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 00:44, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Family Guy Quote==
Also, where'd that come from? I can't find another reference on CWCki and it's not in the video... --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 00:47, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
I THINK it's the original description of the video when it was first uploaded by Chris. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 01:53, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Briscoe/Chris and Reliability

2010-01-05T08:02:56Z

Sonichuis44: /* What I meant */

Thought this would be a good "Chris and..." page. It needs to be expanded and added to [[Template:Chris and]] -[[User:Briscoe|Cody]] 11:32 PM January 4th 2010
* I second this! The world needs to know exactly how unreliable he is. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 05:40, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
* This is really starting to push it. Srsly, can you think of a better name than "Chris and x"? It's starting to be done to death. Also, can you elaborate what you're aiming for this page? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:43, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
** It always makes me so warm when Champ gets irritated.... --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 06:24, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
**I agree with Champ; for one thing if all you can think of off the top of your head is one sentence, then maybe you should reconsider. For another, what can go in this page that can't go into some other, broader page? It's ridiculously specific. I like the idea of the "Chris and..." pages, since they give a good overview of Chris, but that's what they should be, an overview from which you can dig deeper, not treatises on specific personality traits (for which there probably isn't even enough for an article). --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 06:28, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
**The page sounds like another shade of grey. Reliability is way to narrow for the "Chris and..." series. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:31, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Griffintown and Sonichuis44 expressed my concerns that I was unable to express myself. I mean, the "Chris and" series, as Sonichuis44 put it well, the "Chris and" series really should serve to cover broad topics about Chris - sex, his narcissism, fashion, etc. These articles then address broad topics and then cover specifics. Chris and religion is about how Chris views religion, and then it talks about how he uses it to serve his own purposes, GodJesus, his views of other religion, etc.
::This stuff can easily go into other pages, unless you can somehow elaborate upon this. And as for the name - not everything has to be "Chris and x." In a way, pretty much half the articles here could be a "Chris and" article. [[JERKS]] could easily be called "Chris and men." [[Christmas]] could easily be called "Chris and Christmas." Be original. I have no idea who started "Chris and x" but I don't recall if it was me. And by the way, you can prove me wrong - I recall I was tempted to move [[Death threats]] into [[Chris and anger]] but people were able to flush out enough details that it really showed that it warranted its own pages. It's going to be difficult here though, as "reliability" is pretty subjective and for me, Chris posting comics more than every six months is reliable.
::I'll leave this page here for a while but if it doesn't improve in a week, I'll delete it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:51, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

== What I meant ==

I mean all of the times Chris has promised something, but not delivered. Also all the times he cheated on his e-girlfriends. -[[USer:Briscoe|Cody]]
*So... You're going to make a list of missed deadlines? Sweet, bro, sign me up. And the latter has nothing to do with "reliability," unless you mean how we can rely on Chris fucking up, but that is pretty much the whole reason this wiki exists. And I just noticed, you're that retarded 13 year old kid who thinks he's hot shit because Chris once commented on your video and you're TOTALLY gonna take pictures of Chris's house next time you visit Meemaw and Pop-pop. God, you fail as hard as Chris. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 08:02, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2010-01-05T07:56:28Z

Sonichuis44:

This article seems to be written assuming that the "principal's lap" incident and the "faculty abuse" incident happened at roughly the same time, or even that one led to the other. Do we know this to be true, or is it an assumption? --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 07:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

* Timeline shit: 1.) Chris would have been 9 or 10 in the 4th grade, so this happened in the early 90s, not 80s, and 2.) The Columbine shooting occured in 1999, and 15 years before that would be 1984. *SIGH*. Fixed. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:41, 23 November 2009 (CET)

User talk:Briscoe/Chris and Reliability

2010-01-05T06:28:25Z

Sonichuis44:

Talk:Liquid Chris

2010-01-05T03:17:37Z

Sonichuis44:

Template talk:Infobox/video

2010-01-04T19:57:26Z

Sonichuis44:

So is this eventually going to be on all the videos or what? [[User:Xentrilus|Xentrilus]] 17:38, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, I'm actually working on adding it to all the videos, right now. [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway|Here's an example of how it works.]]--[[User:NeoShadow|NeoShadow]] 17:42, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

== Dating ==
This is a bit of a problem. The majority of the completed infoboxes use the dating format: '''MONTH DAY, YEAR'''. AFAIK this goes against the CWCki standard. Now IMO this wouldn't be that big of an issue, provided EVERY infobox used this format, but the thing is some of the infoboxes use the format '''DAY MONTH YEAR'''.

Before we go ANY further, we need to decide which one we should be using. Otherwise it could lead to quite a bit of extremely tedious work.

tl;dr, HALP WHAT DO WE DO. [[User:Xentrilus|Xentrilus]] 19:41, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

*Oh snap, I didn't think of that... I guess, we should go by the CWCki standart DAY MONTH YEAR, just to play it safe.--[[User:NeoShadow|NeoShadow]] 19:54, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
==i fuckin this template==
It's p. awesome, good job. --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 19:57, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

User talk:ShotgunJones

2010-01-04T18:43:27Z

Sonichuis44: Created page with 'HEY BARTEN! A pregnant lady falls into a comma and when she wakes up, she's not pregnant anymore! The doctor comes in - "Don't worry!" he says. "The birth was a success, you have…'

HEY BARTEN! A pregnant lady falls into a comma and when she wakes up, she's not pregnant anymore! The doctor comes in - "Don't worry!" he says. "The birth was a success, you have one boy and one girl! Your brother named them whilst you were asleep. The girl is called Denise." "That's a wonderful name! And what's the boy called?" she asks. "Denephew." --[[User:Sonichuis44|Sonichuis44]] 18:43, 4 January 2010 (UTC)