CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and negotiation

2012-06-18T09:30:08Z

Sonijew is back: some random-access humor

{{quote|[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'M WORKIN' ON IT!!!]]|Christian Weston Chandler on everything and anything}}

When dealing with [[Chris]], trolls often experience a unique form of '''negotiation'''. Due to a severe sense of [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]], a [[Barb|lifetime of coddling]] and [[autism|other factors beyond his control]], Christian Weston Chandler has no grasp of how to compromise, and often fails to understand what sort of bargaining position he's in.

Often, trolls blackmailing Chris will find him making demands of them, as if he were the one with leverage. Conversely, some have experienced the oddity of having Chris run away from a situation where he was purposely given the upper hand. When it comes to dealing with Chris directly, one can only expect that he will always take the path of least resistance, even if it doesn't benefit him.

==Concept of compromise==
Negotiation is based on compromise. Both parties must work together and make concessions to each other in order to find the best possible solution to their problems in a satisfactory manner. Chris doesn't understand this, and arguably ''cannot'' understand this, given his severely stunted ability to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings that differ from his own. Being completely ego-centric, Chris believes that, in any exchange, both parties must share the same viewpoint: his. Chris can't stand any form of prolonged confrontation and quickly tires if his demands aren't met exactly as he has made them.

On numerous occasions, Chris has tried to negotiate either by making ridiculous demands or outright refusing to give anything up (or do anything at all for that matter). After he makes his case, his mind is "closed on the matter" and he is unwilling to budge. When further pressed, he often shuts down completely and walks away from the table, into the waiting arms of his [[PS3|hugbox]].

==Examples of negotiation==
===Mary Lee Walsh===
One of the earliest examples of Chris's attempts at negotiations was after his expulsion from his [[PVCC|community college]]. In [[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004|emails]] between [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and himself, Chris was unapologetic about a violent outburst that he had had in their previous meeting. Instead of apologizing, Chris offered to "never hang notes on the wall again", and to consider "stopping my Silent Treatment" of Susan Hannifan, a PVCC Guidance Counselor<ref>[http://www.pvcc.edu/counseling_services/disability_services.php]</ref>. To further sweeten the deal, Chris offered to "knock[...] [Walsh] and Susan up my scale of Respect each by 2 points". Ignoring the horrible choice of words in regards to "knocking up" two of his female superiors, Chris believed that an imaginary measurement of his personal opinion was an extremely important bargaining chip. This is an example of how Chris behaves in negotiations where he wants something from another person - by offering minimal effort on his part, but expecting full returns from the other party.

===Miyamoto saga===
During the Nintendo saga, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] stated that Chris must meet him at Nintendo's American headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Chris handled this by making a [[CWC Update 26 January 2009|video]] where he pretended to come back from Redmond, when he actually never left the house. Chris demanded that the CEO of an international company come to HIS house and meet with him. When Chris was pressed as to why the meeting had to be at his house, Chris said that he had no money. When he was asked why he had no money, he said he had no job. When he was asked why he didn't have a job, Chris made various excuses and cited his very brief employment at [[Wendy's]]. He also insulted Miyamoto, asking him "Are you the "Mario" who Plays Fair, or the "Bowser/Koopa" who Cheats and Lies?" This sort of "pass the buck" attitude is very common when dealing with Chris. Nothing negative can ever be his fault.

===[[Audiobooks]]===
In [[2009]], Chris came into contact with [[Vivian Gee]], a white knight who eventually turned troll. Vivian was very helpful to Chris at first, but Chris refused to hear any of her input. As a result, their relationship soured, and Vivian started a popular Sonichu parody audio book that Chris despised. [[4 September 2009|Chris ranted and raved]], demanding that audio books be removed. They were not, but one month later, Chris quickly changed his tune. After taking out a [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] on the [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|NAME "Sonichu"]], Chris believed he now had magical copyright powers, and demanded that Vivian give him 25% of all the profits she'd made from the audiobooks (SPOILER ALERT: 25% of zero is zero). Suddenly, something that he had made death threats over, was not only welcome, but he was demanding to be part of it.

===Jack Thaddeus===
When Jack stole Chris's [[PSN]] accounts, Chris asked him "Why don't you come down to my house yourself in person, unless you are the cowardly weakling?" Jack had to remind him that he (Jack) held all the cards, and Chris was in no position to make demands.

===Sweetheart sagas===
Whenever Chris wants to meet one of his "[[sweethearts]]" in real life, he usually wants them to come to him, no matter how difficult such a trip would be. He wanted [[PandaHalo]] to come to him despite her living in Australia. He wanted [[Julie]] to come to him even though she was supposedly a poor immigrant who couldn't afford a car or bus fare. He wanted [[Kacey]] to come to him even though she lived in the D.C. area, which is an hour or so from Ruckersville.

One of the most recent sweethearts, [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], was willing to have a relationship with Chris as long as he tried to become a better person. Instead of trying to put more effort and try to better himself, he decided to end things.

During the Julie saga, Chris made a number of deals with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[The Miscreants]], all of which he reneged on:

*In the first deal, Chris agreed to do a video where he came out of the closet in order to save Julie's life. In the [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_5th,_2009#Take_1|first take]], he called himself a "[[gaybian]]", which was done so that he could somehow say he was gay without actually calling himself gay. He did a [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_5th,_2009#Take_2|second take]] where he clearly stated that he was being forced to say he was gay. When he actually did call himself a homosexual, he mumbled it and stated he was "guhhhhh".

*The second deal was that Chris would clean his room in order to save Julie's life and that he would do a video in order to prove it was clean. In order to avoid actually having to clean his room, he merely pushed some of his stuff aside and filmed his floor for 30 seconds before he did his [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|Captain's Log]].

*The final deal resulted in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] call. [[BlueSpike]], as both Julie and her kid brother Max, had gained access to Chris's [[PSN]] account. In the guise of Max, he offered Chris an ultimatum: The PSN and Yahoo accounts or Julie. In a conversation before the call, Chris told Max that he chose Julie, believing that, like in the movies and TV, he would get both back for "making the right choice". Right when "Max" put "Julie" on, Chris immediately asked "her" to get his PSN and Yahoo back. Failing that, he tried to guilt Max into giving it back to him. In the main call, Max gives Chris one last chance to change his choice. He sticks with Julie, despite the hold that his PSN account has over him. When Max threatened to sell his account on eBay, he revealed that he "made the right choice" and that he deserves his PSN.

===Chris, CWCipedia captain===
When he was given [[CWCipedia|his own wiki]] for free, he demanded complete executive control from day one. In Chris's mind this meant that every demand he made would be fulfilled by the staff, and that anything done without his permission would be removed immediately. He insisted on a gaudy background, and [[CWCipedia#Traitorous_mutiny|threatened to stop working]] whenever the [[Cogsdev|webmaster]] displeased him. Later, when [[Jack Thaddeus]] graciously paid for the CWCipedia's webspace with ads featuring homoerotic images, Chris went on a tirade and immediately demanded that they be taken down, yet refused to even consider paying for his own website. When removal failed, he said that he wanted them to be smaller, as if he had some say in how large advertisements were. Chris had no concept of how advertising worked, but merely assumed that he had the final say in everything.

Later, during the "popularity contest" between ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and ''[[Asperchu]]'', he tried to make amends with [[Alec Benson Leary]] in an effort to remove ''Asperchu'' ads from the front page of the CWCipedia. However, instead of making reparations, Chris demanded that Alec tell his fans to go back to ''Sonichu''. Chris, who was in no position to make requests, attached several "clauses" to his apologies. In fact, Chris's list of demands was larger than the apology they were bundled with. All of this came after Chris drew a comic where he broke into Alec's house, stole a dating game from his [[Xbox]] 360, blew up said Xbox, and freed a group of [[Rosechus]] that he implied were the victims of sexual abuse. After finally fulfilling most of Alec's requests in a substandard and slapdash manner, Chris killed him, his webmaster and two other comic artists in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as some sort of childish form of revenge.

===PlayStation 3===
Often, trolls will gain access to Chris's PSN, and make various demands. The most common of these demands is that he sell or throw out some of his beloved toys or games. Despite his claims that he plays with everything in his room, a quick glance at his PSN account shows otherwise. Most of his PSN activity is divided between ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', ''[[God of War]] 3'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', which leaves most of his [[List of Chris's games|vast collection of games]] untouched. Even though he doesn't use the majority of the toys and games he owns, he refuses to sell them. This refusal is usually followed up by him saying that he doesn't have the money to do something that would improve his life.

Between late [[August 2010]] and early [[September 2010]], Chris was met with the opportunity (not really) of gaining $9,001 in exchange for the [[The MovingForward videos|destruction of]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|his PS3]]. Needless to say, [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|it didn't go well]]. The bounty was only for trolls and was, in turn, fake. However, Chris tried to haggle (albeit ''very'' poorly) with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] to get something that never existed. The ultimate result of this was Chris [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|actually waiting for his money at the Charlottesville Fashion Square]] after being tricked into going there. After realizing he had been tricked, he ended by telling them to "go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like [[South Park|Eric Cartman]], and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn [[Sex toys|Darth Maul Dual Light Saber]]."

===[[3DS Flipnote|Flipnote Studio on 3DS]]===
In one of Chris's many [[Flipnote Studio]] creations, he requests that Nintendo port the software to their 3DS platform. In typical Chris fashion, his animation consists of him [[Chris and anger|yelling loudly]] and demanding that Nintendo bring the software to the 3DS. Chris had sped his voice up to the point where it's hard to decipher what he's saying, but he assumes that being loud will get you what you want. Throughout the entire animation, his tone of voice and choice of words suggest that [[Chris and Ego|he's under the impression that he's some sort of spokesperson]] for all Flipnote users.

===[[Calling Out|Calling Out videos]]===
Returning to [[YouTube]] after an 8-month hiatus, Chris decided to confront two of his trolls, [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]] over what they've done and demanding that Tito apologize to Sony over the hackings and to [[The Wallflower]] for "breaking them up", then give him [[Chris and money|$1000 US Dollars]], and telling Thorg to apologize for putting up pictures years ago and to put up a non-slanderous billboard saying that Chris IS STRAIGHT. He also wants them to remove all contributions to the [[CWCki]]. If these weren't done, he'd reveal their pictures and possible other dox and have the trolls troll them.

Unlike the incident involving [[Clyde Cash]] resulting in [[Twin Falling Towers|a very poorly made decision]], Chris honestly believes he has the upper hand and can finally pay back against some of his trolls. However, what he's doing isn't a negotiation, but an [[Chris and the Law|extortion]], expecting these goals to be completed or they were to suffer the consequences with Chris doing nothing on his part.

==Chris's tactics==
===Ignoring reality===
When Chris is faced with a task requiring any effort on his part, or involves something that does not benefit him, he completely ignores it. Chris automatically disregards anything that will not benefit him immediately, or almost immediately. The hardest part of negotiating with Chris, is that, if you make a demand that he does not agree to, he shuts down. Like a spoiled infant, Chris will not even deal with something that isn't self-serving and easy.

On the other hand, when you have something Chris wants, Chris will not give up until he has acquired it, on his own terms. When the road to a reward has a sign that bluntly says Chris is not eligible, he will attempt to get the reward anyway, or claim that the rules are discriminatory and unfair. Chris will pursue his goal thoughtlessly and simplemindedly, often ignoring even the idea that he might not get what he wants. In the process, he frequently acts as if he has some sort of leverage even in situations where this is manifestly not the case — he continually made demands of the CWCipedia's administrators, for instance, despite the fact that they had full control over the website and he had none.

===Altering reality===
In some instances (the rare ones that he actually does what he was instructed to), anything said or done he feels slandered his good name he will simply state are lies and instruct everyone to ignore them, then will [[Mailbag 2|close his mind]] on the subject. This is retarded for two reasons. By telling his "fans" to ignore the lies, he is alerting "fans" that are a little behind on what's happening with Chris of their existence, making more people see them than would have if he didn't acknowledge them. He is also showing he is clearly aware of their existence, and still insisting they are lies.

===Delays===
When Chris has to meet a requirement during a negotiation (ESPECIALLY deadlines), he will explain that he is "working on it". To Chris, saying this is an acceptable substitute for actual work, whether or not he is indeed "working on it". If, in his own good time, Chris feels inclined to fulfill the deal, he'll submit whenever he wants to, regardless of the original agreement, well after the deadline. If the agreement was that he would receive something for the "work" done, he will demand it unceasingly, despite not holding up his end of the deal in any way, shape, or form.

Even if Chris somehow agrees to a set of terms, he will try to get around them. If he agrees to give something up for someone, he will go behind that person's back in order to get it back so that he could have both. If he agrees to draw a comic, he will most likely do something easier, like make a video or write a blog entry, figuring that that counts as work. If he agrees to willingly slander himself (like calling himself gay, for instance), he'll either mumble it so that it's incomprehensible, or he'll hide his face.

{{incomplete}}

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Christian Weston Chandler

2012-06-18T09:28:12Z

Sonijew is back: /* Adult Chronicles */

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 30)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid) [[Virgin]] ([[1982]])-([[2012]])
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Art|artistic]] [[plagiarism|inspiration]] lost with [[Health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[copyrights|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[autistic]] formerly 30 year old [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far, ''far'' worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty years old, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter) who wasn't a [[troll]].

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube Chris and he later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.

In [[April 2012]], Chris finally lost his virginity.
{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2012-06-18T09:20:58Z

Sonijew is back:

'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on 29 [[May 2004]] and 17 [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Anime Mid-Atlantic took place on May 28–30, [[2004]]. Chris recounts this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #5:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, [[2004]], I, Christian Chandler, attended my first [[Anime]] Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel
Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}

[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]

<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish.
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|<nowiki>:D</nowiki>
</gallery>
{{-}}

==2005==
Chris anticipated this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #9 and #10:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews9.htm</ref> It took place on June 17–19, [[2005]].

{{quotebox|Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see ''[[News Dash!]]'' #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|8D|thumb]]

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Video games|GameCube]]...check.
Image:AMA2.jpg|[[Health|24-pack of Pepsi]]...check.
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check.
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check".
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic!Chris]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!!!
</gallery>

===Witness account===
[[Image:0668-ANIME514.JPG|thumb|Fellow autists at the Sonic panel]]

In [[May 2010]], the blog ''Topless Robot'' had a contest for "Most Shameful Nerd Moment". One commenter named tasakeru828, who ran a ''[[Sonic]]'' panel at what was presumably Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005, described the experience<ref>http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/05/moments_of_nerd_shame_and_the_winners_are.php</ref>:

{{quotebox|I actually met [[Chris-chan]] at an [[anime]] convention before [[ED]] found out about him and started [[troll]]ing him en masse. A friend and I were hosting a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] panel and trying to prove that not all Sonic fans are as batshit insane as they're made out to be. That noble goal was shot to hell when the one-and-only Christian Weston Chandler arrived in all his [[Chris and fashion|clown-shirted]], Sonichu-[[medallion]]-wearing glory and started handing out free copies of his first issue. He asked us a completely unintelligible question (thinking mistakenly that we actually had some influence on the series as a whole), and afterwards he babbled at us personally while we smiled and nodded trying to look interested. We obviously knew he was mentally ill, but we had no idea that we were meeting a future [[Internet]] legend. 
Now, I still persist in my goal to prove that some Sonic fans are decent, intelligent people. (...) But Lord, Chris-chan comes very close to ruining it all for even me, and that should tell you something.}}

==Aftermath==
Chris has not been to an anime convention since the 2005 Anime Mid-Atlantic event. In [[2010]], he planned for a time to visit the [[MGS|Otakon]] convention in Baltimore (in large part so he could meet [[Jackie]] there), but he managed to thwart himself by spending the money he'd set aside for the expedition. In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he claims that [[Chris and Money|he overdrew his bank account]] shortly before the trip. This incurred the wrath of his parents, who refused to allow him to leave the house.

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.animemidatlantic.com/ Official Website]
* [http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 Convention Information Page]
* [http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 Convention Information Page]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

Medallions

2012-05-25T13:10:44Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of now the medallion remains hung on his wall, as seen in a [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|video]].

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.
</gallery>
</center>

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about.

Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed Medallions===
*Sonichu v.2

===Medallions Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3
*Asperchu

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Last appearance, 11 [[November 2010]].]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion has not been seen since Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do, or possibly that the medallion has finally checked out for good.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Medallions

2012-05-25T13:08:41Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of now the medallion remains hung on his wall, as seen in a [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|video]].

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.
</gallery>
</center>

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about.

Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed Medallions===
*Sonichu v.2

===Medallions Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3
*Asperchu

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Last appearance, 11 [[November 2010]].]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion has not been seen since Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do, or possibly that the medallion has finally checked out for good.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Medallions

2012-05-25T13:07:09Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|150px|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|150px|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|150px|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|150px|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|150px|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of now the medallion remains hung on his wall, as seen in a [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|video]].

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|150px|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.
</gallery>
</center>

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about.

Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed Medallions===
*Sonichu v.2

===Medallions Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3
*Asperchu

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Last appearance, 11 [[November 2010]].]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion has not been seen since Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do, or possibly that the medallion has finally checked out for good.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Template:Da update

2012-05-25T13:05:50Z

Sonijew is back:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*13 [[May 2012|May]] - Eight old photographs of Chris are released, five from 11 November 2010 and three from 1 March 2011. Notable features include the last known wearing of the [[Sonichu]] [[Medallion]], Chris's nasty [[hair]] and a proto-[[Tomgirl]] look.
*12 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris posts a new note on [[Facebook]] about [[Mimms]], attempting to get people to annoy him. He then deletes the note minutes later.
*9 [[May 2012|May]] - A [[Kacey Call 1.5|call]] between [[Chris]] and [[Kacey]] that was "misplaced" by [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] is released.
*6 [[May 2012|May]] - A previously unseen [[Jackie#Sex pics|drawing]] of Chris and Jackie in a pool having sex is released.
*5 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris posts a [[Facebook#Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!|note]] on Facebook calling on the trolls to leave [[Anna]] alone and clarifying that he does not see [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] in her. In addition, an old drawing of the Wallflower from 2010 is released.
*1 [[May 2012|May]] - Chris makes another post on Facebook titled "Hey, Trollies", where he continues to gloat over his alleged "victory" over the trolls (despite the fact that he's caused them no damage or humility whatsoever).
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Barbara Chandler

2012-05-25T12:59:15Z

Sonijew is back: /* Health problems */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 70)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight overall) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara is [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, however "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandler's but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites, where he would die in the hospital.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were released on bail, and Chris's hearing took place on 7 November 2011. It is currently unknown what happened during Barb's hearing.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* [[Matthew Noble call]]: In this call, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Kacey Call 1.5

2012-05-11T21:49:13Z

Sonijew is back:

In '''Kacey Call 1.5,''' recorded in [[August 2009]] in the midst of the Liquid saga, [[Chris]] attempts to maintain his impersonation of [[Liquid Chris]] in a conversation with [[Kacey]]. This call was released on 9 [[May 2012]] after being misplaced by [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]].

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Heyyyyy, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kace!
 '''Kacey:''' What's up?
 '''Chris:''' How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm great, how bout you?
 '''Chris:''' I'm okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I got your email and, um, I emailed [[Emily]] and, um, so yeah I'm waiting to hear back from her... er, [[Kim]]?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Emily, you meant to say Kim right?
 '''Kacey:''' I meant to say Kim, I know you told me about Emily, sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Ye... yeah, I think I recall this.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I'm new to all this, so I'm sorry I'm gonna get them mixed up. I'm surprised I didn't call her [[Megan]], or Kate.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Whatever... Anyway, uh, so what else is going on?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just calling because I'm supposed to be coming down tomorrow, um, I hope my car makes it.
 '''Chris:''' yea I hear ya so [''inaudible because Kacey interrupts''] my parents are looking forward to meeting you.
 '''Kacey:''' oh awesome, awesome, so do you know anything about cars? Like maybe you could tell me what's wrong with it maybe?
 '''Chris:''' uhmmm yea I don't know much about cars, but you can go on the Internet, I heard about this radio show called cartalk you could probably find some tips on there.
 '''Kacey:''' oh that's awesome thank you.
 '''Chris:''' yea you know cartalk, it's also the uh radio show that did the, uh, TV show on PBS that was called uh, ''[[Wikipedia:Click and Clack's As the Wrench Turns|As The Wrench Turns]]''.
 '''Kacey:''' oh, cool. Um so anyway I'm just wanted to call you cause like I'm actually really upset right now.
 '''Chris:''' oh, what's the matter?
 '''Kacey:''' did you see that fucking impostor video? He's trying to apologize like I wonder if he did that because I told him to in my judging but I mean just he just pisses me off I mean his fucking voice, the way he looks, his hair, just the way he tries to be you just... ugh his fat fucking face! God! I mean doesn't I know he pisses you off I just...I hate it when people mess with you 'cause you know I love you so much!
 '''Chris:''' yea I'm just checking though... yea I think you told me you love me when you saw my artwork on the Internet, right?
 '''Kacey:''' it was totally, totally absolutely [[Sonichu]], I mean, and we just gotten so close lately that if anyone tried to tear us apart from each other I'd probably die from heartbreak.
 '''Chris:''' awww... I'm sorry to hear that.
 '''Kacey:''' oh well that's just how much I love you.
 '''Chris:''' I feel for you... I can uh... I can elate [''sic''] with that.
 '''Kacey:''' right... so but I mean what do you feel about it? I mean I know he really pisses you off. I mean..
how much do you hate him, because I mean if I hate him after all these things, you've got to have tons to hate about him.
 '''Chris:''' hmmmm yea well I mean you know uh... I mean I'm pretty much out of hate, I've got tired of hating, you know so I just figured I'd just flow with it.
 '''Kacey:''' oof... so I I mean guess you're giving him a chance? Because of all this but I mean you just told me the other day that he has a [[homosexual]] lisp that he probably takes it up the butt from [[niggos|black guys]].
 '''Chris:''' uh... that's just... I can tell you right now that's just a whole bunch of lies that someone put on the [[ED]] page against me.
 '''Kacey:''' what? There's no ED page against you, that's the impostor! What are you talking about? Oh you must you must be tired from finals and everything coming up but I mean... this... god it's like I don't know you were just saying this stuff the other day and...come on this guy, he tried to disqualify you from something stupid he didn't even look at your video, I know he didn't look at your video, I mean but he can put stupid things like parappa rap in his thing and not be disqualified? fuck that shit! oh, sorry for me cursing
 '''Chris:''' hmm... yea.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, come on, Chris, don't you have any opinion?
 [''inaudible - speaking over each other'']
 '''Chris:''' Yea but it's like you know... yea.. I kind of grew up emotionally a bit more the past few days
 '''Kacey:''' oh okay so you're trying to take the I'm the bigger guy route
 '''Chris:''' yea... I am pretty much the uh... I'm pretty much the big man, and I realize that as such, and like you know with my own trolls I pretty much would thank them for the uh publicist publicity they've given me as well
 '''Kacey:''' oh like no publicity is bad publicity but I mean uh
 '''Chris:''' well I mean they have uh
 '''Kacey:''' well I'm just bit confused because why did you realize all this, I mean what happened?
 '''Chris:''' yea a lot of things happened, you did get the message I sent you, right?
 '''Kacey:''' The really long email? Yea I mean it was really, really heartfelt, I mean I'm glad that you trust me that much.
 '''Chris:''' You know me, I am definitely truly a heartfelt kind of person
 '''Kacey:''' that's good that's good, um but seriously I really want to talk about this impostor he's really pissing me off, Chris, I mean, come on, support me. I mean, I think... he subscribes to me... I think he is trying to go through me for you. I mean, could you believe that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh I don't know I uh... yea that just sounds that just sounds like a bunch of fooling me eh uh... I've taken a closer look at what he's done, and everything in the past.. hmm... but yea um he's pretty much growing up as well and I have to be respecting that...
 '''Kacey:''' CHRIS HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT DID YOU SEE HIM? DID YOU SEE HIM? He is trying to trick you! He is I mean just look at his room! He is trying to go through me to you! And that hurts me and that makes me angry! Cause I mean... how... who is he to fucking try and get in between us? I mean I love you. YOU are the fucking creator of [[Sonichu]]. YOU are the fucking man. YOU are awesome! I mean and every time you sing a song for me dedicate something to me I know that it's from you. How the fuck can he try to do that?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.... I don't know, a lot of people are smart *sigh*
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think he is. [''Chris tries to say something''] I think he's pretty stupid. I mean look at all his toys. I mean How old is he?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm... I'd say he looks about twenty-seven himself.
 '''Kacey:''' heh... but I mean just like come on he probably plays videogames all day on his fucking TV, I mean he looks way older than twenty-seven but you know that could just be the [[PSEye]] toy... crappy shit
 '''Chris:''' well... I do... I will admit the camera adds about a few pounds
 '''Kacey:''' oh yea, totally hmph
 '''Chris:''' oh yea my mind's blankin' out of me, I've had a bit of a long day myself you know...
 '''Kacey:''' well, can I call you later? I promise I'll calm down, just I really want to talk to you let you know maybe we can talk more like last night or something um just he really pisses me off because I mean I don't think he's financially stable and he has these things like the huge TV and the toys and everything and it's like “where are you getting those from?”... [''Chris is making sounds, possibly trying to speak''] oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry hon.
 '''Chris:''' it's okay, I'm here for you, I'll listen to your rants.
 '''Kacey:''' And I totally appreciate that.
 '''Chris:''' I'll listen to your rants with an open mind
 '''Kacey:''' well then good because I have so much because he really, really, really pisses me off imean just and this whole singing challenge like he has a fucking choice I mean I want you to do this with me you gotta do it for me I need to feel supported by you and I mean you were doing it last night so what's the difference now? You gotta win! this guy is coming after you for no reason just because he wants your efame or whatever he thinks.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you've gotta be out for blood chris because he is. I mean and you know I don't always condone it but I think he's trying things that he shouldn't and I mean don't you wanna protect me if he is trying to get to me through you? You don't love me that much?
 '''Chris:''' I do- I do care about you very much and I am.
 '''Kacey:''' OH NO CHRIS DO YOU LOVE ME THAT MUCH?
 '''Chris:''' I love you that much
 '''Kacey:''' well then you've gotta do something!
 '''Chris:''' I am going to do something. I will protect you. I'm going to protect you from all the lies and deceit that there...
 '''Kacey:''' FINE! Then tell me something you hate about him right now. Do something right now! Cause you need to show him now. Knock him off a few pegs.
 '''Chris:''' oh yea I'll uh
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video! Do something!
 '''Chris:''' Yea I'll make a video I'll uh... I'll give him a little bit of a hate moment... yea.
 '''Kacey:''' Good! I want you to give him a huge hate moment! Fucking pig he doesn't even look like he takes a shower!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' so yea gather your thoughts and make me a video and that will just make all the anger go away... that will be so awesome, thank you.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya, and I'll listen to ya always
 '''Kacey:''' I'm so sorry you had to see such a ugly side of me, but I mean when it comes to you I would protect you from everything, and I know you would do the same for me
 '''Chris:''' it's all right, I understand. But anyway yea uh definitely uh talk to Kim, learn more about uh you know everything about him, his history [''inaudible because Kacey interrupts''] okay!
 Chris- all the details
 '''Kacey:''' no, I'll definitely talk to her and um I'll call you later tonight if that's okay *giggle*
 '''Chris:''' of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome! Okay well I'm going to go let you seek and gather your thoughts and make me that awesome video! Give me it [''Chris trying to say something''] Cause I want to see it soon! I'm so excited!
 '''Chris:''' All right, Kacey-heart. I will.
 '''Kacey:''' All right, I love you so much! Bye!
 '''Chris:''' I love you too. Bye bye.

==External links==
[https://rapidshare.com/#!download|606p6|983673136|kacey280309.mp3|10539|R~0218B77569CB5D113E8305404B2BAD68|0|0 mp3 of phonecall]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 1.5

2012-05-11T21:48:37Z

Sonijew is back:

In '''Kacey Call 1.5,''' recorded in [[August 2009]] in the midst of the Liquid saga, [[Chris]] attempts to maintain his impersonation of [[Liquid Chris]] in a conversation with [[Kacey]]. This call was released on 9 [[May 2012]] after being misplaced by [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]].

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Heyyyyy, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kace!
 '''Kacey:''' What's up?
 '''Chris:''' How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm great, how bout you?
 '''Chris:''' I'm okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I got your email and, um, I emailed [[Emily]] and, um, so yeah I'm waiting to hear back from her... er, [[Kim]]?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Emily, you meant to say Kim right?
 '''Kacey:''' I meant to say Kim, I know you told me about Emily, sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Ye... yeah, I think I recall this.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I'm new to all this, so I'm sorry I'm gonna get them mixed up. I'm surprised I didn't call her [[Megan]], or Kate.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Whatever... Anyway, uh, so what else is going on?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just calling because I'm supposed to be coming down tomorrow, um, I hope my car makes it.
 '''Chris:''' yea I hear ya so [''inaudible because Kacey interrupts''] my parents are looking forward to meeting you.
 '''Kacey:''' oh awesome, awesome, so do you know anything about cars? Like maybe you could tell me what's wrong with it maybe?
 '''Chris:''' uhmmm yea I don't know much about cars, but you can go on the Internet, I heard about this radio show called cartalk you could probably find some tips on there.
 '''Kacey:''' oh that's awesome thank you.
 '''Chris:''' yea you know cartalk, it's also the uh radio show that did the, uh, TV show on PBS that was called uh, ''[[Wikipedia:Click and Clack's As the Wrench Turns|As The Wrench Turns]]''.
 '''Kacey:''' oh, cool. Um so anyway I'm just wanted to call you cause like I'm actually really upset right now.
 '''Chris:''' oh, what's the matter?
 '''Kacey:''' did you see that fucking impostor video? He's trying to apologize like I wonder if he did that because I told him to in my judging but I mean just he just pisses me off I mean his fucking voice, the way he looks, his hair, just the way he tries to be you just... ugh his fat fucking face! God! I mean doesn't I know he pisses you off I just...I hate it when people mess with you 'cause you know I love you so much!
 '''Chris:''' yea I'm just checking though... yea I think you told me you love me when you saw my artwork on the Internet, right?
 '''Kacey:''' it was totally, totally absolutely [[Sonichu]], I mean, and we just gotten so close lately that if anyone tried to tear us apart from each other I'd probably die from heartbreak.
 '''Chris:''' awww... I'm sorry to hear that.
 '''Kacey:''' oh well that's just how much I love you.
 '''Chris:''' I feel for you... I can uh... I can elate [''sic''] with that.
 '''Kacey:''' right... so but I mean what do you feel about it? I mean I know he really pisses you off. I mean..
how much do you hate him, because I mean if I hate him after all these things, you've got to have tons to hate about him.
 '''Chris:''' hmmmm yea well I mean you know uh... I mean I'm pretty much out of hate, I've got tired of hating, you know so I just figured I'd just flow with it.
 '''Kacey:''' oof... so I I mean guess you're giving him a chance? Because of all this but I mean you just told me the other day that he has a [[homosexual]] lisp that he probably takes it up the butt from [[niggos|black guys]].
 '''Chris:''' uh... that's just... I can tell you right now that's just a whole bunch of lies that someone put on the [[ED]] page against me.
 '''Kacey:''' what? There's no ED page against you, that's the impostor! What are you talking about? Oh you must you must be tired from finals and everything coming up but I mean... this... god it's like I don't know you were just saying this stuff the other day and...come on this guy, he tried to disqualify you from something stupid he didn't even look at your video, I know he didn't look at your video, I mean but he can put stupid things like parappa rap in his thing and not be disqualified? fuck that shit! oh, sorry for me cursing
 '''Chris:''' hmm... yea.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, come on, Chris, don't you have any opinion?
 [''inaudible - speaking over each other'']
 '''Chris:''' Yea but it's like you know... yea.. I kind of grew up emotionally a bit more the past few days
 '''Kacey:''' oh okay so you're trying to take the I'm the bigger guy route
 '''Chris:''' yea... I am pretty much the uh... I'm pretty much the big man, and I realize that as such, and like you know with my own trolls I pretty much would thank them for the uh publicist publicity they've given me as well
 '''Kacey:''' oh like no publicity is bad publicity but I mean uh
 '''Chris:''' well I mean they have uh
 '''Kacey:''' well I'm just bit confused because why did you realize all this, I mean what happened?
 '''Chris:''' yea a lot of things happened, you did get the message I sent you, right?
 '''Kacey:''' The really long email? Yea I mean it was really, really heartfelt, I mean I'm glad that you trust me that much.
 '''Chris:''' You know me, I am definitely truly a heartfelt kind of person
 '''Kacey:''' that's good that's good, um but seriously I really want to talk about this impostor he's really pissing me off, Chris, I mean, come on, support me. I mean, I think... he subscribes to me... I think he is trying to go through me for you. I mean, could you believe that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh I don't know I uh... yea that just sounds that just sounds like a bunch of fooling me eh uh... I've taken a closer look at what he's done, and everything in the past.. hmm... but yea um he's pretty much growing up as well and I have to be respecting that...
 '''Kacey:''' CHRIS HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT DID YOU SEE HIM? DID YOU SEE HIM? He is trying to trick you! He is I mean just look at his room! He is trying to go through me to you! And that hurts me and that makes me angry! Cause I mean... how... who is he to fucking try and get in between us? I mean I love you. YOU are the fucking creator of [[Sonichu]]. YOU are the fucking man. YOU are awesome! I mean and every time you sing a song for me dedicate something to me I know that it's from you. How the fuck can he try to do that?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.... I don't know, a lot of people are smart *sigh*
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think he is. [''Chris tries to say something''] I think he's pretty stupid. I mean look at all his toys. I mean How old is he?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm... I'd say he looks about twenty-seven himself.
 '''Kacey:''' heh... but I mean just like come on he probably plays videogames all day on his fucking TV, I mean he looks way older than twenty-seven but you know that could just be the [[PSEye]] toy... crappy shit
 '''Chris:''' well... I do... I will admit the camera adds about a few pounds
 '''Kacey:''' oh yea, totally hmph
 '''Chris:''' oh yea my mind's blankin' out of me, I've had a bit of a long day myself you know...
 '''Kacey:''' well, can I call you later? I promise I'll calm down, just I really want to talk to you let you know maybe we can talk more like last night or something um just he really pisses me off because I mean I don't think he's financially stable and he has these things like the huge TV and the toys and everything and it's like “where are you getting those from?”... [''Chris is making sounds, possibly trying to speak''] oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry hon.
 '''Chris:''' it's okay, I'm here for you, I'll listen to your rants.
 '''Kacey:''' And I totally appreciate that.
 '''Chris:''' I'll listen to your rants with an open mind
 '''Kacey:''' well then good because I have so much because he really, really, really pisses me off imean just and this whole singing challenge like he has a fucking choice I mean I want you to do this with me you gotta do it for me I need to feel supported by you and I mean you were doing it last night so what's the difference now? You gotta win! this guy is coming after you for no reason just because he wants your efame or whatever he thinks.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you've gotta be out for blood chris because he is. I mean and you know I don't always condone it but I think he's trying things that he shouldn't and I mean don't you wanna protect me if he is trying to get to me through you? You don't love me that much?
 '''Chris:''' I do- I do care about you very much and I am.
 '''Kacey:''' OH NO CHRIS DO YOU LOVE ME THAT MUCH?
 '''Chris:''' I love you that much
 '''Kacey:''' well then you've gotta do something!
 '''Chris:''' I am going to do something. I will protect you. I'm going to protect you from all the lies and deceit that there...
 '''Kacey:''' FINE! Then tell me something you hate about him right now. Do something right now! Cause you need to show him now. Knock him off a few pegs.
 '''Chris:''' oh yea I'll uh
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video! Do something!
 '''Chris:''' Yea I'll make a video I'll uh... I'll give him a little bit of a hate moment... yea.
 '''Kacey:''' Good! I want you to give him a huge hate moment! Fucking pig he doesn't even look like he takes a shower!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' so yea gather your thoughts and make me a video and that will just make all the anger go away... that will be so awesome, thank you.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya, and I'll listen to ya always
 '''Kacey:''' I'm so sorry you had to see such a ugly side of me, but I mean when it comes to you I would protect you from everything, and I know you would do the same for me
 '''Chris:''' it's all right, I understand. But anyway yea uh definitely uh talk to Kim, learn more about uh you know everything about him, his history [''inaudible because Kacey interrupts''] okay!
 Chris- all the details
 '''Kacey:''' no, I'll definitely talk to her and um I'll call you later tonight if that's okay *giggle*
 '''Chris:''' of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome! Okay well I'm going to go let you seek and gather your thoughts and make me that awesome video! Give me it [''Chris trying to say something''] Cause I want to see it soon! I'm so excited!
 '''Chris:''' All right, Kacey-heart. I will.
 '''Kacey:''' All right, I love you so much! Bye!
 '''Chris:''' I love you too. Bye bye.

==External link==
[https://rapidshare.com/#!download|606p6|983673136|kacey280309.mp3|10539|R~0218B77569CB5D113E8305404B2BAD68|0|0 mp3 of phonecall]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Bob Chandler

2012-05-02T20:22:17Z

Sonijew is back:

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
[[Cole|[That fuck] Bob]]
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 September [[2011]] (aged 84)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barb]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Issue'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "the [[Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob was still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tried to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was unfazed by these attempts.

Bob conversed with numerous trolls. A lot of information was gained from these chats, mostly due to his tendency to yammer on.

Bob died on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Bob is presumably spending the afterlife haunting the [[Dreams|nightmares]] of Chris's [[Trolls|enemies]], much like his [[Patti|deceased childhood pet.]]

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

===Service and education===
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> His father, Robert F Chandler Sr (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-19??) was allegedly half [[Cherokee]].

Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit the beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] for forty years. Using skills learned in the Army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by [[Wikipedia:Ralph Baer|Ralph Baer]]).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

On the other hand, Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob had been interested in it since he was 10, and had become very world conscious as a believer in the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the [[1930s]]. He had collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with (he loved to ramble if the person showed some slight interest), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" /> The [[Rocky Shoemaker call]] revealed that Bob had previously been hospitalised for severe "bug bites".

A major question in the [[troll]] community has been what would happen once Bob died.

===What about Bob?===
[[Image:Bobbetter.jpg|thumb|"Now will you PLEASE let me get back to God of War 3???"]]

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learned something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally mentioned [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now in his [[Tomgirl Saga|cross-dressing phase]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and had [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]]. Once again, Chris did not seem sad or concerned, and mentioned it only as an excuse for why he never traveled outside his immediate area.

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> He survived 54 years of the Burger King Whopper and 29 years of Christian Weston Chandler.

Chris loved his father so much that he waited several weeks before attempting to [[Craigslist|sell his TV]]. Luckily for Chris, Bob didn't [[Aunt Corrina|die on pancake day]].

===BobWatch™===
On 10 August 2010, [[Matthew Noble call|a phone call]] took place between Bob and Alec Benson Leary, who posed as an employee of [[GAMe PLACe|The GAMe PLACe]]. Discussing Chris's June trespassing citation, it was discovered that Chris hadn't told his parents about the incident (surprise, surprise). Chris posted [[6 June 2010|a whiny video]] about the incident the night that it happened, which remained on his YouTube channel until he purged all of his videos on 22 November. Yeah, that's how negligent Bob was.

On 19 August 2010, it was revealed that the elderly man with heart failure was still [[Coffee Place|eating breakfast at Burger King]] on a daily basis. The Grim Reaper is said to have been pleased by this news.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that by that time [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and strongly disapproved of them.

On 29 August 2011, Chris [[Calling_Out#Response_to_ADF|mentioned in a video]] that his father was no longer getting out much because he was sickly and his feet were bloated. Foot swelling is a [http://www.cardioassoc.com/patient_pgs/conditions/congestive.asp symptom of late-stage congestive heart failure.] With his mobility limited, Bob became a shut in, which only compounded his heart problems. It was a rare occurrence of Chris legitimately acknowledging his dad's health was failing and an even rarer occurrence of him genuinely knowing of any situation around him.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died. Despite all the jokes made about Chris and his family, the death of a loved one is a very tragic event. Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into unusual detail about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to donate money to Barbara and Chris. Given [[Chris and money|the money habits of Chris]] and Barb, the remaining Chandlers may be in a dire financial situation.

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with whom he was both out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he has yet to as of 9 September 2011. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thought (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls had communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob had reportedly explained to him that he had taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris would run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that, or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He would never get past that notion, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob wouldn't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob wasn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoyed gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan - Tribute to Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p48KrSYHkgo}}
| Stardate = 12 September 2011
| Maker = OVRFND
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Who's Your Brony?

2012-04-20T13:29:50Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Honest}}

'''Who's Your Brony?''' is a pair of videos ('''gvfioeqnguvfieqrav (1)''' and '''hcyrejetuikyfdfmynbgr (2)''') made on 12 [[July 2011]] and leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris has sex with the [[Jackie]] sex doll while saying "Who's your [[My Little Pony|Brony]]?" The video is similar in concept to [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], but is notably less horrifying because Chris stays clothed. He then proceeds to display his "[[cutie mark]]".

==Videos==
===Sexy time===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p23-_rWJ2Ag}}
| stardate = 12 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====
Okie-dokie. For you, Jackie-pie, I show you my [[cutie mark]] on my better... mini-skirt.

''[Turns around, although nothing is visible because Chris' fat ass is too close to the camera.]''

There's a guitar and a TG for Tom Girl, and a puzzle piece for autism! I has these, I had these put here for weeks! So I pretty much was one step ahead of ya there.

And now, pretend sex.

''[Chris proceeds to hump the blowup doll in what would be considered a "scissoring" position.]''

Yeah. Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Whooo's your brony? Yeah, Jackie! Who's your brony? C'mon, you take it from your. C'mon, Jackie Pie, you take it from your Apple Chris!

All day long, ''(mumbling)''

''[Chris switches to doggy-style position.]''

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie?

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony? I'm your brony, Jackie-Pie! I'll be your brony all day long!

''[Chris switches positions. He is now standing and humping the doll around his waist.]''

Who's your brony? I'm your brony,

Who's your brony? I'm your brony, and you know it

''[Chris switches positions. He is now siting and humping the doll in his lap.]''

Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie? Jackie-Pie, Jackie-Pie. Ah, Jack-Jackie-Pie.

''[Chris fakes an orgasm.]''

Uh, Yeah, Yeah.

'''UUUUGH!''' Delicious!

===Tat Ass===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N1r6lyA5kaI}}
| stardate = 12 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====
Woopsie-doodles! I forgot to do the other favor.

[''Chris proceeds to shove his ass in the direction of the camera and lift his skirt''.]

Hope that's good enough! Thank you very much, I love you, Jackie pie!

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Template:Da update

2012-04-19T19:03:03Z

Sonijew is back:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>

*16 [[April 2012|April]]: After a two year absence, Chris returns to [[Twitter]] to wish death upon [[Michael Snyder]]. Meanwhile, Chris and Barbara are indicted and will be arraigned on their felony charges on 10 July.
*8 [[April 2012|April]]: In a private [[Facebook]] notice, Chris announces that he has finally lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]].
*5 [[April 2012|April]]: The Ruckersville Two attend yet another hearing. They are to be sent to a Grand Jury on April 16 regarding [[28 October 2011|their felony cases]], with their other charges being rendered ''[[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|nolle prosequi]]''.
*31 [[March 2012|March]] and 1 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts [[Facebook#Shooting_Myself_in_the_Foot|two new notes on Facebook]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: "[[The Red-Maned Deer]]", [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], "[[Teenage Dream]]" and [[Cheerleader]]. Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]]. He gets a [[PlayStation Vita]] and hundreds of dollars' worth of games.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Michael Snyder

2012-04-19T18:37:08Z

Sonijew is back: /* Years of hatred (2008-11) */

{{quote|'''Chris:''' I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! JEW! '''Mike:''' He probably will.|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-1956 (age 55)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| JEW (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-)
|-
|}

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>; Hebrew מִיכָאֵל שניידר) is the [[manajerk|owner]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (now Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, giving him [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] to rage at.

Due to his [[Naive|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> and even a [[pedofork| child molester]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris got legal charges for a more serious attack.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist, homophobic creep. He would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[niggos|black kid]]. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says [[Mimms]].

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

Chris is vague about why he thinks he was banned; he has said that ''"Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."''<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>

==Years of hatred (2008-11)==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris linked Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

Chris's violent urges against Snyder periodically came to the surface, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris drove to the PLACe and Mike appeared on YouTube and commented ''"Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it."'' Chris claimed that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.<ref>[[6 June 2010]]</ref> Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments, most notably: ''"When I go to [[CWCville|hell]], I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other [[pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder."''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that Bob (and, presumably, Barb as well) shares Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central: ''"Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. ''[...]'' Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.''

==Shit gets real (2011-)==
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and [[Barb]] launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", now owned by Snyder. Chris faces charges of trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an accident; Barb is up for assaulting a [[jerkop]] and failure to stop at the scene of an accident. Mike has also filed a civil suit against them both.

In a Facebook status update from 13 February 2012, Chris recounted a brief dispute with his mother, instigated when Chris flipped off a [[Jerkop]]. He concluded with a somewhat cryptic remark: "I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands." Whether Barbara has developed an irrational hatred of Snyder to match her son's, or whether Chris is simply being overdramatic, remains uncertain.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Asperger syndrome

2012-03-11T16:18:22Z

Sonijew is back: /* Background */

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|AZso_FmZVy0}}
</center>

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows]] more about the relation between Asperger syndrome and autism than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with [[Bob Chandler|Alzheimer's Disease]]. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]] Unlike his issues with [[Chris and race|racial minorities]] and [[homos|homosexuals]], Chris has never attempted to ameliorate or otherwise compromise his statements about Asperger's for the sake of good PR, suggesting that it is his most strongly held prejudice.

==Background==
[[Image:Hans_asperger.jpg|thumb|Dr. Hans Asperger, the man who diagnosed the condition and raised awareness of autism as a whole.]]

Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "Aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like many people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook|''Sonichu'' #1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|'tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Asperger's is "Competing Retards".

As per his adamance that HFA and Asperger's are completely unrelated, Chris also point-blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. In a private [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#January_15.2C_2010|e-mail to Vivian Gee]] from January 2010, he delivered an interesting spin on his feelings regarding the validity of that research:

{{quote|I STILL disagree with the "Scientists", regardless of how long they may have studied those psychological topics. EVEN if I am living a lie, I'd rather live this lie than believe that truth ever. I AM RESISTANT TO THE CHANGE!|Chris, to Vivian, 15 January 2010.}}

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.|Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}
In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM; GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG, DIRTY SKULLS!!!]] Of course, we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler:''' Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_&_hfa.pdf Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood.]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger syndrome was first added to the [[Wikipedia:American Psychiatric Association|American Psychiatric Association]]'s ''Diagnostic and Statistical Manual'' in [[1994]], and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his Aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-5|the DSM-5]], due for publication in [[2013]]. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and [[Wikipedia:PDD-NOS|PDD-NOS]] — already widely understood to be related conditions — will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two.<ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose.]</ref>

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Asperchu]]
* [[Autism Tutorial Extra]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Asperger syndrome|Asperger syndrome]] at [[Wikipedia]].

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]][[Category: Things Chris hates]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2012-03-11T16:17:38Z

Sonijew is back:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]] Great Director Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 30)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Art|artistic]] [[plagiarism|inspiration]] lost with [[Health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[copyrights|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty years old, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube Chris and he later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality. His Love Quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. {{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Excel Saga

2012-03-01T18:53:13Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|[[Anime]] Review: Excel on Excel Saga
 
Excel Saga is a [[Random-access humor|wacky]] anime with [[parody|parodies]], an [[Boyfriend-free girl|energetic girl]], Excel, the ideological commander of ACROSS, [[ScotPalazzo‎|Il Palazzo]], a wandering soul, [[Niggo|Pedro]], and many other characters. The story is that it is a [[saga]] where Excel must suffer numerous hard adventures to realize ACROSS’ plan of conquest over a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|corrupted]] world.
 
Excel Saga has a total of 26 episodes on a set of 6 [[DVD]]s. If I had to pick a favorite episode, I’d pick episode 17 where Excel travels to [[America]] where she describes the differences between [[Anime]] and [[American Rabbit|American Animation]]. She also does an excellent [[parody]] to the classic Anime, [[Sailor Moon]], in this episode.|--Review by Chris<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews3.htm</ref>}}

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris meets [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]], who played [[Wikipedia:List of Excel Saga characters#Hyatt|Hyatt]] in the [[English]] dub of ''Excel Saga''. This is also perhaps the only time Chris has touched an attractive woman without her being immediately repulsed. What a brave, brave woman.]]

While the [[plagiarism]] in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] is obvious to just about anyone, there are even deeper, more subtle layers of unoriginality in Chris's masterwork. Truly, if Sonichu is the bastard [[gay]] love-child of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]], then Excel is surely his surrogate mother. For while the characters in ''Sonichu'' are mostly fusions of [[Sonic]] characters and ''[[Pokémon]]'' characters, Chris draws a lot of his "[[humor]]" from '''''Excel Saga''''', along with various other miscellaneous ideas that wound up in the comics.

Additionally, ''Excel Saga'' has left something of a cultural impression upon Chris's personal life as well. The purpose of this article is to list as many of these influences as possible, and to provide the original context for those unfamiliar with the anime. Due to the relative obscurity of ''Excel Saga'', and the complexity of Chris's plagiarism of it, this article will also provide some additional background on the series.
{{TOC limit|2}}

==Introduction==
[[Image:Excel-Saga.jpg|thumb|''Excel Saga'' (note Lord Il Palazzo in background and Menchi (the dog), a plushie Chris owns)]]

The genesis of the [[anime]] lay in [[Wikipedia:Rikdo Koshi|Rikdo Koshi]]'s fan comic, ''[[Wikipedia:Municipal Force Daitenzin|Municipal Force Daitenzin]]'', which was an adult-themed parody of the ''sentai'' genre (read: ''[[Power Rangers]]''). By [[1990s#1996|1996]] he had retooled the concept to focus on Excel, one of the characters in the original fan comic, and the first ''Excel Saga'' comics saw print in Japan. Fun fact: Rikdo dabbled in some [[Sonic]] fancomics as well, and he hit the big time at the age of 26, making him everything Chris has ever dreamed of being professionally, whether Chris is aware of it or not.

The manga tells the story of two factions struggling for control of the city of [[Wikipedia:Fukuoka|Fukuoka]], Japan. One, ACROSS, is led by the ruthless but myopic Lord Il Palazzo, who seeks to conquer the city as a stepping stone to world domination under his own high-minded ideals. His organization consists of only a handful of young women, who seem only vaguely aware of his intentions. The title character, Excel, is the first of these agents, later joined by Hyatt, and even later, Elgala. The second faction is the Department of City Security, headed by the civic-minded but manipulative Dr. Kabapu, a powerful government official. Over the course of the series, he recruits a number of people to work for his department, then slowly compels them to perform increasingly bizarre tasks in the name of civil defense. Though Kabapu and Il Palazzo share some mysterious history, the rest of their respective groups remain unaware of each other for much of the series. Against this backdrop, Rikdo weaves a satire of life in Japan during [[Wikipedia:Lost Decade (Japan)|the recession of the 1990s]].

Soon after the manga began publication, Rikdo was approached about an [[anime]] adaptation. He agreed, on the condition that the anime's storyline differ from his own, as the manga's plot was still unfolding. Further, much of the cynical, sometimes controversial humor in the comics was unsuitable for Japanese television, and so the anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, had to come up with additional material to fill out the show. Among these contributions were a new character Pedro, an immigrant worker, the Great Will of the Macrocosm, a cosmic entity capable of reshaping continuity, and Nabeshin, the director's over-the-top alter ego. To explain this flagrant disregard for the source material, one of the running gags of the anime is an ongoing struggle between Rikdo and Nabeshin for control over the creative direction of the series, with Rikdo using a comically oversized rubber stamp to approve the use of his characters to lampoon various anime genres.

==The series and Chris==

[[File:Modnation ExcelExcel.jpg|thumb|Excel in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

The series was then adapted for release in North America by [[Wikipedia:A.D. Vision|A.D. Vision]] in [[2002]], and would eventually end up in the DVD player of a certain [[autistic]] manchild we all know. The [[English]] dub adds yet another layer to the series, which parodies other anime series as it partially adapts a manga that itself parodies even more anime. To better help American audiences get the references, ADV included optional pop-up notes in the DVDs so that a befuddled viewer could learn just what the hell Excel was imitating or why such-and-such dialogue was supposed to be a pun in Japanese. In other words, 99.99999999996% of the humor in ''Excel Saga'' was almost certainly over Chris's head, and so when he speaks of the series as being funny, he's probably just repeating what it says on the back of the DVD case, or referring to slapstick humor like Excel falling down a hole. That Chris would dare to steal material from this series has three side-effects:

1) Chris doesn't actually understand what he's stealing. At least when he ripped off [[Pikachu]], he knew how to do it. Cute yellow thing shoots lightning. Simple. From there, Chris would go on to draw its [[penis]], but the basic gist of Pikachu was properly stolen. When Chris rips off a joke from ''Excel Saga'', however, he robs the gag of all context, resulting in an awkward line of dialogue that's unoriginal and unfunny.

2) Chris is ripping off anime he hasn't even seen. For example, since Chris actually had watched ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'', it's difficult to say for certain if the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] was lifted directly from ''DBZ'', or the episode of ''Excel Saga'' that parodied it. The vast majority of anime titles mocked or referenced by ''Excel Saga'', however, Chris has probably never even heard of, so when he steals that material, he doesn't realize it was already borrowed the first time.

3) For once, it isn't immediately obvious when Chris is ripping something off. Since ''Excel'' isn't nearly as well-known as [[Sonic]] or Pikachu, Chris can actually sort of get away with lifting ideas from it.

{{clear}}

{{collapsible
|Episode guide to ''Excel Saga'', with influences on Chris
|
===Episode 1===
[[Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|thumb|Chris's autographed copy of volume 1 of ''Excel Saga''.]]
Excel is assigned to assassinate manga artist Koshi Rikdo, who created the ''Excel Saga'' comics on which the anime is based. After the Will of the Macrocosm restarts the story several times, Excel gets a part-time job directing traffic for a construction site. There, she meets immigrant worker Pedro, who gets killed as a result of Excel's hyperactive negligence.

Influences on Chris:

*'''FQX as a replacement for the FOX network:''' An FQX searchlight logo is used at the end of each episode as Excel promotes the next one. Chris would use "FQX News" as the home network of Greta Squall when he ripped off the Spring Break bit from ''[[Family Guy]]'' in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*'''"Only three days since I skipped my last deadline":''' Sung aloud by Koshi Rikdo as he blithely draws his comics in his home, unaware that Excel is preparing to murder him. Chris would repeat this line for no good reason in "Off Target", featured in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].
*'''"PEDRO IS SHOCKED!":''' One of the many running gags throughout ''Excel Saga''. When a character is shocked they will scream out "SHOCK!" This is usually done by Pedro, but Nabeshin and Sandora have also said this. "SHOCK" has been used many times throughout the Sonichu comics, and this is most likely the inspiration.
*'''"I could do all this before breakfast, but I had lunch a couple of hours ago":''' Said by Pedro when Excel motivates him to work harder at the construction site. Even the characters acknowledge that's a shitty wordplay gag native to Japan. It's less of a joke than a sign that Pedro is settling into his host country. Nevertheless, Chris uses it in his "classic" Sonichu strip from January 13, [[2004]], featured in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].
*'''Il Palazzo:''' Excel's leader, whose vast ambitions are undermined by his myopic strategies. For example, Il Palazzo seeks to unite the entire world through conquest, yet seeks only the takeover of the city he lives in, since it poses a lesser risk. When he calls for a purge of comic books from his New Order, he sends Excel out to kill a single cartoonist (Koshi Rikdo), an empty gesture at best. Chris attempted to demonize the manager of the Fashion Square Mall by recreating him as "[[ScotPalazzo]]", but this is ineffective, as Il Palazzo is less a villain than a mere [[parody]] of one. This would be equivalent to combining Scot from [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with [[Wikipedia:Colonel Klink|Colonel Klink]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Hogan's Heroes|Hogan's Heroes]]'' or Dark Helmet from the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Spaceballs|Spaceballs]]''.
*'''Nabeshin:''' Self-insertion of series director Wata'''nabe Shin'''ichi. His appearance in his own anime is intended to be a parody of other directors who insert themselves in their own animes, and so he appears as a colorful man of action and mystery, often portrayed as more important and critical to the plot than the characters adapted from the original manga. In general, Chris probably draws justification for his own self-insertion into ''Sonichu'' because Shinichi did it first, ignoring the fact that the Nabeshin character manages to be ironic and badass at the same time. Shinabe, the martial arts master who raised [[Punchy Sonichu]], resembled Nabeshin in appearance and name.
*'''Excel:''' Hyperactive protagonist. Fanatically devoted to Il Palazzo's contradictory ideals, Excel blathers on endlessly throughout the series, with mixed comedic results. While the character "[[Mypoe]]" is named for ''[[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]'', another anime Shinichi Watanabe directed, she looks much more like Excel than anything else.
*'''Menchi:''' A small, white dog. In many ways, the mascot of the show. Chris owns a plushie of Menchi, which can be seen in the background of many of his videos. He also created "Menchi-Nasu High School" in his "[[The High School Story]]."

===Episode 2===
Sci-fi parody. Nabeshin senses his old master, the Space Butler, has been abducted by the Martian Puuchus, en route to invade the Earth. Excel destroys the Martian battleship in a manic fit, and the Martian's "Princess"--Hyatt--ends up in ACROSS headquarters, where Il Palazzo assumes her to be a new recruit.

Influences on Chris:

*'''Explaining the story''': After the opening credits Excel apologizes that the story from the first episode makes no sense at all. So she then tells us what the story is about, a few of the characters, and the setting as well. Being that Sonichu's story also makes no sense at all Chris would copy this in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].
*'''Puuchu''': If backed into a rhetorical corner, Chris would probably argue that his own blatant usage of [[Pikachu]] is legitimized by ''Excel Saga''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s Puuchus, cuddly yellow creatures clearly indented to resemble the popular ''Pokémon'' character. The difference, of course, being that Puuchus offer a [[Parody|humorous twist]] on Pikachu, in that not only their cuteness belies their hostile nature, but they also put a definitely not cute face on when hurt or serious.
** In addition, [[Sonees and Roseys]] certainly resemble Puchuus more than, say, Pichus.
===Episode 3===
[[Wikipedia:B movie|B movie]] action film parody. Il Palazzo tasks Hyatt with finding Excel, who was captured by mercenaries in the previous episode. Instead, Excel is rescued by Nabeshin, who infiltrates the mercenary camp to save his beloved Tetsuko. Nabeshin blows up a bunch of shit and Excel returns to Japan, where she meets the sickly Hyatt, who has barely even begun her first mission.
*'''Director as the main character''': While Nabeshin had been aggressively inserted into the story before, the action movie format necessitated him in a bigger role, and here he pretty much moves the entire storyline forward. Much of this episode, from Nabeshin's fruitless quest to save his love, to Nabeshin's impossible victory over an entire army, would be reflected in the [[Sub-Episodes]].
*'''Prolonged speeches''': This is a staple in ''Excel Saga'', but it's worth noting here because this is the first time Il Palazzo really gets to preach on about what's wrong with the world. Similarly, most of Excel's dialogue in the anime comes in the form of rapid-fire babbling, which she does a lot of here, since she's in mortal danger for most of the episode. Chris may have interpreted this to mean that long-winded speeches are funny in general, regardless of topic or context. Thus ''Excel Saga'' may have inspired all those walls of text Chris writes into his stories, especially the ones where he lectures the villains for daring to oppose him. It should be noted, however, that while Excel and Il Palazzo are no less chatty in the ''Excel Saga'' manga, the author is much more conservative about writing every single friggin' word they say, since the gag wouldn't work as well in print.
*'''Bumping into each other''': Throughout the episode Excel's side of the story is being told is shown in wide screen, while Hyatt's has been shown in a normal screen. Near the end of the episode Hyatt begins her mission to locate Excel. We then see Excel, which Menchi strapped to her chest, skipping happily down the street; overzealous with the joy of escaping. We then see Hyatt, walking down the street rather slowly, contemplating on where she should begin her mission. It switches between Excel and Hyatt a few more times; until the two happen to meet with Excel's side of the screen still in wide screen, and Hyatt's in full. [[Rosechu]] and [[Amy Rose]] would copy this in the epilogue of [[Sonichu 6]], resulting in something that just doesn't make sense. Also, if we consider that Rosechu was in wide screen mode, that means that she answers only to the all mighty ScotPalazzo.

===Episode 4===
Romantic comedy parody. The girls' next door neighbor, Toru Watanabe (not to be confused with Nabeshin) asks Hyatt out on a date, but the matter is soon complicated to the point of absurdity by the antics of their respective roommates.

*'''[[Dating education|Dating game]] simulators''': This episode uses the concept brilliantly, depicting a real-life date between Hyatt and Watanabe, parallel to Lord Il Palazzo, who plays a [[video game]] featuring Hyatt as the girl he's trying to win. The idea of the game is to respond to romantic situations with one of three options. Throughout this episode, option 3 is often simply [[Sex|"Put it in"]]. As these dating simulator games never caught on in the United States, it's highly likely that this episode was what gave Chris the big idea to use ''[[Sprung]]'' to further his "[[Dating Education]]". This is further evidence that nearly all of the jokes in ''Excel Saga'' are way over Chris's head. The whole point of this episode is that these games are childish and unrealistic, and Chris simply assumes the writers are trying to give him tips on how to score.
[[Image: Pedro3.jpg|thumb|200px|Pedro, upon viewing the [[Kimmi|Chris-Chan Sex Tape]]]]
*'''Doll humping''': Excel rolls around on the floor with a life-size wooden figure dressed up to resemble Il Palazzo. Again, this is an example of Chris's warped behavior which might be attributed to him watching this show and thinking it's somehow acceptable in real life.
*'''Simple white background characters''': These nondescript bystanders appear during Hyatt's date with Watanabe, a parody of ''[[Wikipedia:Di Gi Charat|Di Gi Charat]]''. Naturally, Chris took their use as implicit permission to slack off in his own drawings of large crowds. You can spot this in almost any issue of ''Sonichu''.
*'''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''': Before there was Darth Vader, there was Pedro. After dying in the first episode, Pedro's ghost endures a series of emotional trials throughout the series, as his wife immediately forgets about him and finds a new man (something Chris himself would later do when after a day he forgot about [[PandaHalo]] and moved on to [[Julie]]). Forced to watch the charming Gomez take over his family, Pedro can only watch in tears and scream his beloved catchphrase, which Chris would later repeat in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]].

===Episode 5===
Drama about social issues. Excel and Hyatt infiltrate a government building to undermine the highest ranking city officials. Concurrently, Watanabe and his roommates, Iwata and Sumiyoshi, get jobs as civil servants working for the Department of City Security, a pet project run by the mysterious and influential Dr. Kabapu.
*'''[[Red String of Fate]]:''' When Watanabe whines about having to work alongside his odious roommates, Iwata suggests they're bound by the red string of fate. Watanabe angrily retorts that the Red String is only supposed to be for destined lovers, not just any two people. Watanabe then meets Hyatt, posing as a refreshments vendor, and decides that the Red String of Fate binds the two of them. This could be where Chris first learned of the concept, since it's not like he would have found out about it from ''Dragon Ball Z'' or ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''.
*'''Dr. Kabapu:''' Dr. Kabapu is the leader of the city's defense team. However, he seems to hold a great amount of power in politics; so much that he could potentially make anyone mayor if he needed to. His desire to protect the city is strong; although a bit warped. If there is a threat to the city, he will find and destroy it. This warped way of thinking may have influenced the way that [[Chris-Chan|the Mayor]] runs the city of [[CWCville]].
*'''Drool Waterfalls:''' Tears streaming like waterfalls is an often-used effect in ''Excel Saga'', particularly seen on the long-suffering Pedro. However, in this episode, many of the government workers are sickened after consuming Hyatt's refreshments, and begin roaming the building in zombie-like fashion, green drool pouring from their mouths. A very similar visual appeared in ''Sonichu'' #4, when [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] managed to paralyze the [[Jerkops]] in lust at a bowling alley.

===Episode 6===
Survival drama. Excel and Hyatt are sent to install a powerful weapon on a mountaintop and use it to destroy the city. Coincidentally, Kabapu's Department of City Security agents undergo training with laser pistols, and Iwata unwittingly foils ACROSS' plot when his weapon misfires.

*'''Misaki Matsuya's Character Notes''': The introduction of Matsuya was treated as a big deal in the anime, with a pause to display text on the screen describing the character's age, gender, hobbies, and personality traits. Chris would emulate this several times when introducing new characters, including [[Wes Iseli]], [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Allison Amber]], [[Simonla Rosechu]], and [[Zapina Rosechu]].

*'''Ha-chan, Eh-Chan, Will-Chan, etc.''': The suffix "-chan" is ubiquitous in anime, but most English dubs don't carry it over into the translation. Even if Chris had heard it before watching ''Excel Saga'', the sheer abundance of "-chan" combined with the first syllable of a character's name in the series is probably what led Chris to dub himself "Chris-Chan". This would also explain Chris's failure to realize the context of -chan. While the honorific is used for children, girls, and young women, ''Excel Saga'' uses it so gratuitously that a viewer might never notice the pattern, especially in this episode. Nevertheless, the suffix "-chan" could be seen as working for Chris in a unique way, since it effectively puns off his last name: "Chandler". The suffix is further validated by the fact that in many ways, Chris really is a child.

===Episode 7===
[[Image: Kabapu.jpg|thumb|200px|Fun Fact: Chris faps to this anime.]]

Horror film. Kabapu sends the DCS team into the sewers, not far from the underground lair of ACROSS. Excel and Hyatt activate defense systems at random, causing a flood. Both groups run afoul of the Puuchus, led by the hideous Puuchu Queen, until Nabeshin triggers a second flood which saves the cast and destroys the monsters.

*'''Ms. Momochi''': Kabapu's secretary, who walks in on Kabapu while he's in between changing clothes in his office. While bearing no physical resemblance, the character may well have been the inspiration for Miss [[Allison Amber]], Chris's mayoral aide and girl Friday.

===Episode 8===
Pretty girl anime. In a shameless bid to increase ratings, all male characters are stricken from the storyboards, appearing only as off-screen voices, shadows, or hands. The DCS team take a vacation day to visit the City Pool, while Excel and Hyatt coincidentally do the same. Hyatt befriends a young girl named Cosette Sara, who turns out to be a cunning assassin. In a strange twist of fate, Cosette is transported to the world of the dead, where she sees her mother's ghost once more, but Pedro warns that she cannot cross the Sanzu River to join her, for it would mean she would die as well. Taking pity on Cosette, the Great Will of the Macrocosm retcons Cosette's life so that her mother never died and her dark life as a child assassin never happened. The other male characters later confront Pedro for violating the "no-men" rule of the episode.

Influences on Chris: Nothing really obvious. This episode was primarily a tongue-in-cheek exercise in gratuitous fanservice, so Chris may have been too busy fapping away to notice anything else. He ''may'' have gotten the idea to do the Spring Break story in ''Sonichu'' #8 from this episode, but other than the all-Rosechu cover, it seems like a rather thin connection.

===Episode 9===
Sports anime. Considering athletics to be the universal language of the masses, Il Palazzo sends Hyatt and Excel to research ways to exploit sports for the purpose of world domination. This leads the duo to part-time jobs in a bowling alley, which is soon overrun by the [[9/11|terrorist]]/bowling organization "Stick and Balls", who plot to use the alley to spread their pro-bowling propaganda and return the "sport of kings" to its former glory. Excel flees to the women's restroom, where Nabeshin agrees to train her in the art of bowling to defeat the Stick and Balls' ringleader. Excel kicks everyone's ass and saves the day.

*'''"I'm much, much saltier":''' When Excel confronts the terrorists, they mock her for having run away earlier. Excel's response: "But I'm ''not'' the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" Compare to Chris's line from Sub-Episode 6 of ''Sonichu'' #4, as he describes his showdown with the Jerkops at a bowling alley: "Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much saltier!" Chris has also used this phrase in private e-mails, to describe himself in the present compared to the naivete of his youth. Note that by omitting the word "sweet", he completely loses the pun.

*'''Bowling:''' The course of the battle in Sub-Episode 6 really doesn't match up well with Excel's bowling adventure, aside from the single hero challenging an entire squad of goons in a bowling alley and defeating them with superhuman bowling moves. It's possible Chris may be channeling some other cartoon in addition, but given the "much, much saltier" line, it's clear that ''Excel Saga'' gave Chris the bright idea to do a comic set in a bowling alley.

===Episode 10===
Animal anime. Menchi, Excel's pet dog/emergency food supply, escapes their apartment and tries to seek out a kindly old man who once took care of her. She soon befriends a pack of fellow strays, led by the charismatic Wolf. Wolf's pack agree to help Menchi find the old man, but soon run afoul of the Animal Control Department, a squad of dogs who serve as dog catchers. After great heartache and betrayal, Wolf and the others sacrifice themselves so that Menchi can escape. Perhaps favoring Excel's long-term threats to the immediate dangers of the outside world, she returns to Excel's apartment.

*'''Anthropomorphic dogs:''' While Menchi can't talk, and in fact seems to look and sound more like a cat than a dog, the other dogs in this episode can speak, and on occasion assume humanoid postures. It appears that Chris ripped off this imagery when he reincarnated his own dog, Patti, as [[Patti-Chan]]. Patti doesn't quite resemble any of the dogs in this episode (her design actually having been stolen from a picture by Megan), although her face does look sort of like a cross between Menchi's and Kyoko's. Her body seems to more closely resemble Wolf's when he's standing upright, and it may be that Chris had to combine their designs in order to approximate Patti's breed.

*'''A kind old man:''' Toward both the start and the ending of the episode Menchi has memories of the kind old man that took care of her before she met Excel. Once her memories are near completed, circles with memories of the old man fall slowly down the screen. Chris would copy this for the cover of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].

*'''Menchi's silent adventures:''' Until Menchi meets the other dogs, her speechless journey through the city bears a strong resemblance to the Sonichu Babies segments from [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. In particular, a band of cruel children start throwing rocks and boulders at Menchi, not unlike a certain Whale we all know and love.

*'''"I shall show you the power of the well-read dog!"''': Defiant last words of "The Professor", a Scottish terrier in Wolf's pack, as he sacrifices himself on Menchi's behalf. Chris alters the line into "Behold the power of the well-trusted dog!" when Patti-Chan appears in [[CWCville]] to save [[Crystal]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

At this point, the folly of Chris's plagiarism should be clear. He steals ideas and clever lines, but dismisses the concepts that made them worthwhile in the first place. Patti-Chan's storyline in ''Sonichu'' is basically this episode in reverse, with a dead dog coming back to life and saving her friends, whereas the whole appeal to "Menchi's Great Adventure" is the absurd pathos of a Scottish Terrier with glasses and cartoon bombs being a suicide bomber.

===Episode 11===
Youth drama. Excel and Hyatt take temp jobs as teachers, and quickly get saddled with the responsibility of training the school's delinquent baseball team for the big championship game. They lose, as is a common trope in sports anime, to reinforce the greater importance of sportsmanship and teamwork.

Influence on Chris: None, apparently. Chalk this up to his apparent disinterest in sports, and the male-heavy cast of this particular episode.

===Episode 12===
Detective anime. Hyatt gets taken hostage by a pair of burglars, who panic and ultimately kill themselves when she dies and they fear they've murdered her. Meanwhile, the Department of City Security agents train under Purin, an impertinent young woman possessed by the ghost of her hardboiled gumshoe father.

Influence on Chris: None, again.

===Episode 13===
Review show. Excel and Hyatt compete in a game show-style contest assembling short films using recycled clips from the previous episodes.

Influence on Chris: None. Good going, Chris.

===Episodes 14 & 15===
[[Image:Mom_am_pig.JPG|thumb|Excel responds to Chris after reading the Sonichu comics.]]

Dr. Kabapu commissions the pederast cyberneticist Dr. Shioji to build Ropponmatsu, a female android to serve under the Department of City Security. Iwata immediately falls for the shapely robot, until she is destroyed while disarming an ACROSS bomb, and rebuilt as an obnoxious prepubescent girl.

Escalating the conflict, ACROSS deploys a robot to deliver a second bomb, which battles the second Ropponmatsu to a standstill. Shioji delivers a reconstructed Model One Ropponmatsu to assist, but ultimately both are destroyed by the bomb... only to be rebuilt again.

Influences on Chris: Ropponmatsu II may have inspired Zapina Rosechu in some way, but that would require corroboration.

===Episode 16===
Desperate for story ideas, the writers use both Ropponmatsus in the same story. By mistake, the rebuilt androids end up living with Excel and Hyatt, and imprint upon them to an almost romantic degree. After stealing food and money to support the ACROSS Agents, the Ropponmatsus eventually sacrifice themselves so that Hyatt and Excel can escape the wrath of the city police.

*'''Ropponmatsu II's "death" scene''': This is played out as an over-the-top parody of sentimental self-sacrifice scenes in anime, and as Ropponmatsu II begins to break apart, a drop of fluid leaks from her eye socket like a tear, and is depicted as splashing into a darkened pool of water. This would be repeated in Episode 23 when Excel gets shot. Chris would imitate this in ''Sonichu'' #4, using blood instead of tears, and Chris's impotent rage instead of the sadness of loss.

===Episode 17===
"American Japanimation." Il Palazzo sends Excel and Hyatt to the United States on a reconnaissance mission. There, they meet Pedro's son Sandora, who dreams of becoming a rich and famous animator in Japan, where he believes cartoonists are highly respected. Sandora makes a living selling animation sheets of later successor ''Puni Puni Poemy'' to a suspicious-looking man, and is later horrified to discover that his artwork is being traded as bootleg anime cels. Excel rescues Sandora from the criminals by employing various "rules" of both American and Japanese animation.

This was Chris's favorite episode.

*'''Sailor Moon:''' Long before Chris met Megan and got into the ''Sailor Moon'' series itself, Chris had used ''Sailor Moon'' trademark poses and variants on her catchphrase for his alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The Excel connection here is that Excel does the same routine in this episode, and a gunsel recognizes the reference, and notes that it's a really old cartoon. Compare to Chris's battle with Mary Lee Walsh in "Witch Confront", where Mary mocks Chris's poses and slogan as being "so old".

===Episode 18===
Kabapu forces his DCS team to wear the power suits of Municipal Force Daitenzin, and use them to battle injustice in the city. Furious at being trapped in the ''sentai'' costumes, the team agrees to just combat litterbugs, jaywalkers, and other minor scofflaws until the suits finally deactivate. Ironically, the awesome powers of the Daitenzin, coupled with their self-absorbed motives, cause far more damage to the city than any mere crime wave.

*'''[[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen (sic)''': Perhaps wanting a more powerful role for Bagget than a mere Jerkop, Chris put him in a brown Power Ranger suit and history was made in ''Sonichu'' #4. Strangely, Bagget never makes use of any of the Daitenzin's special attacks or weapons.

*'''The boy and girl on the bench who look like a character from ''Battle Athletes'' and Ash Ketchum''': In ''Excel'', these two characters are attacked by one of the Daitenzin for public displays of affection, when in fact the girl was refusing the boy's advances. Chris used the girl in a similar scene in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], only they were a more romantic couple, and it was the Jerkops who intervened.

*'''Man and woman in coffee shop assaulted by Daitenzin''': In the original version, the couple were discussing when the man would leave his wife, as the woman was pregnant with their child. Chris sanitizes the moment into a "love confession" interrupted by a Jerkop, who punches out the man just as Sumiyoshi does in ''Excel''.

===Episode 19===
Animal anime again. Menchi ends up joining a young heiress on a journey around the world, but their trip is cut short by a common enemy.

Influences on Chris: Chris said this was the episode with Key, but he's wrong. Way to suck, Chris.

*'''Old Man Cyborg''': The punchline of this episode ends up being that the assassin determined to kill the heiress turns out to be the kindly old man who once took care of Menchi, before he turned evil and Menchi shot him in Episode 10. He returns here with a powerful robot body, eager to take revenge. While he doesn't look much like any of Chris's characters, the connection to [[Merried Seinor Comic]] is apparent, and this character may have inspired the other Manajerks Chris depicted as cyborgs.

===Episode 20===
Review show again. This episode recaps the Pedro subplot that's been going on since the show began. In short, Pedro learns that the author of all his miseries is a cosmic Yakuza-type known only as "That Man". Pedro is helpless against his awesome power, until Nabeshin unleashes the secret powers within both Pedro and his son Sandora. Now sporting afros of their own, Pedro and Sandora join Nabeshin to confront That Man, until he escapes with the Will of the Macrocosm.

*'''Sub-Episodes:''' While the segments of the Pedro recap aren't titled this way, they are numbered independently of the episodes of the main series. This "saga within a saga" format probably inspired Chris to depict his own adventures as separate from Sonichu's. Also, combining Pedro's adventures into a single all-Pedro episode is probably how Chris decided to rehash his existing Sub-Episodes in ''Sonichu'' #4, with additional Sub-Episodes to provide some closure to the storyline.

*'''Pedro in Limbo:''' The common theme of Pedro's adventures is that he has been mostly powerless against the forces that affect his life. As a ghost, he could only look on in horror as his family abandoned him, and strange cosmic forces manipulated him for sex and lulz. Similarly, Chris has been describing a similar experience for himself in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics since he got marooned in the time void.

===Episode 21===
Rock anime. Il Palazzo's superiors send him a message via Key, an oversexed rock musician who insists on delivering the message through song, yet refuses to sing until he feels the proper artistic inspiration. To that end, Excel and Hyatt attempt to cultivate Key's creativity, but Excel finds herself becoming attracted to Key's untamed sexuality.

*'''Key''': Chris admitted that he adapted Key's revealing outfit to design the costume of his evil gay twin [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]. The only significant differences are the change from red leather straps to green, and torn blue jeans in place of Key's ass-less chaps. Also, while Key merely displayed an ambiguous sexuality in keeping with his role as a bishonen rock hero, Naitsirhc is a hardcore gay guy, living out Chris's fantasy life of ejaculating whenever and wherever he pleases.

===Episode 22===
[[Image:Cwcexcel.jpg|thumb|By Dean Walsh's order! For the glory of Dean Walsh! BECAUSE DEAN WALSH DEMANDS!]]

Koshi Rikdo grants permission for ACROSS to actually conquer the city. The matter becomes academic, however, when a Puuchu warlord leads an invasion force to Earth to avenge their past defeats. Excel joins forces with Puuchu rebels to defeat the invaders, but the city is destroyed when debris from the battle collides with the Earth.

*'''Nabeshin as martial arts master:''' As the series approached the end, Nabeshin teamed up with Pedro and Sandora to battle That Man, and the three of them would go to a special training ground to hone their powers for the final battle. Based on this, Chris recast Nabeshin in ''Sonichu'' as G.D.W. Shinabe, a martial arts ''sensei'' who teaches his students how to edit film with karate chops. Shinabe would adopt [[Punchy Sonichu]] into his dojo.

===Episode 23===
Post-apocalyptic anime. Cut off from ACROSS, Excel wanders the ruins of what was once F Prefecture, defending the survivors from gangs and warlords. Horrified to learn that the villains are working for ACROSS, and that she has been targeted for execution, Excel confronts Il Palazzo to learn the truth. He shoots her in the chest without a word.

*'''Time-delay attack:''' Mostly, this episode parodies ''Fist of the North Star'', which features a powerful fighter kicking ass in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Since Excel is in the role of the hero, she uses a variation of the anime's titular attack, which involves punching your opponent a billion times. The thing about the ''Fist of the North Star'' is that it takes three seconds to have any effect, after which the opponent explodes like a water balloon filled with blood, then becomes a pastiche of Dejiko from ''Digi Charat''. When dubious villains question the attack's power, the hero would famously reply "But you're already dead", right before they die. Chris adapted this idea when he first used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in ''Sonichu'' #0. The Jerkhief didn't feel a thing at first, and then his life began to unravel from the curse.

===Episode 24===
Koshi Rikdo strips the series of all gags. Excel is rescued by Municipal Force Daitenzin, but after recovering from the gunshot, she has amnesia. ACROSS has conquered the region, but Il Palazzo begins to teeter on the brink of madness. The only hope left for resistance is Kabapu's promise of a secret weapon, and Nabeshin, who sacrifices himself to defeat That Man, one of the Il Palazzo's superiors in ACROSS.

Influences on Chris: Make your own "joke-free comedy" joke here. Seriously, though, Chris probably never stole anything from this episode because he couldn't wrap his brain around the irony.

===Episode 25===
As Kapabu and Municipal Force Daitenzin stage a desperate attack on ACROSS's mobile fortress, Excel sneaks into the base to confront Il Palazzo, whom she vaguely recalls as the key to regaining her memories. Il Palazzo makes short work of Kabapu's forces, but when Excel arrives and confronts his madness, he regains his sanity and they escape the fortress together as it explodes. Meanwhile, Pedro and Sandora discover That Man has survived, and defeat him for good with their ultimate attack, the ''Nabehameha'' Wave.
*'''"One Shot is all we get!"''' This line is said in unison by both Pedro and That Man before they engage in their ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]'' style beam struggle. Chris blatantly stole it for his epic showdown with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], depicted in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].
*'''Nabehameha''': Obviously, a parody of the Kamehameha attack from ''Dragon Ball'', renamed for Nabeshin, who invented it and taught it to Pedro off-screen. While Chris had watched ''Dragon Ball Z'', it was undoubtedly the Nabehameha that gave him the bright idea to customize his own version of the Kamehameha and pretend it was original. Thus, the "Curseyehameha", which he later changed to "Shinyehameha". As Chris has diluted every other idea he stole from ''Excel Saga'', he does so again here, since he failed to utilize the part of the Nabehameha that was so awesome: the afro.
*'''Those things always have weak knees!''': Kabapu uses a giant robot to attack ACROSS mobile fortress. When the defending troops counterattack, this is the strategy they offer. The way the idea is discussed, weak knees in giant robots may be some cliche in giant robot anime lore, but in any case, Chris stole the line for his battle against the [[Count Graduon]]'s Golem in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].
*'''"[[Honest content|Honest-to-Goodness]]":''' Near the end of the episode, Excel fights Il Palazzo's inner demons that are the reason behind his sudden outburst of megalomaniac actions. After punching them out, they fall back and take full control of him, and when they do so, Il Palazzo says ''"Now, I'm the honest-to-goodness Il Palazzo!".'' Judging by the climactic delivery of this line, it is very likely it got burned into Chris's subconscious, to end up being used every time he claims to be TRUE and HONEST; an example is his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia page]], which starts with "The One, The Only, from his Own ''Honest-to-God'' Words".

===Episode 26===
Sort of a bonus episode full of material [[Honest Content|too graphic for Japanese TV]]. Cosette Sara from Episode 8 returns as the newest member of ACROSS, who somehow causes Excel and Hyatt to switch bodies. After a lot of nudity and violence, Nabeshin kills the rest of the ACROSS Six and Hyatt floods the world in blood.

Influences on Chris: Chris was probably too busy fapping to anime noods to copy anything. The final scene is Nabeshin's wedding to some broad who kept trying to serve him soup throughout the series, and Chris probably plans to end ''Sonichu'' with [[Wedding Comic|his own wedding]], but Real Life has made this impossible.

===''Puni Puni Poemy''===
'''''[[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]''''' is something of an ''Excel Saga'' spinoff, starring Nabeshin's daughter Poemi Watanabe as she struggles to become a voice actress while fighting aliens with the assistance of the seven Aasu Sisters. The show's relation to ''Excel Saga'' is tenuous, with only Nabeshin and Kumi Kumi present (though a news anchor bears a resemblance to Koshi Rikdo), and some reused background music from the series.

[[Image: GDW.jpg|thumb|200px|Unlike Chris, this man is a TRUE and HONEST great director.]]

Influences on Chris: Chris has more than once referred to himself as "Great Director Chandler", shamelessly ripping off Nabeshin's declaration that he is the "Great Director Watanabe."
}}

{{collapsible
|Gallery of plagiarism
|
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Beforebreakfast.jpg|Compare this...
Image:Sonichustrip1.jpg|to ''this''
Image:Fqx.jpg|Chris would steal this logo, only without the searchlights, or the font, or anything else, really.
Image:graveyard.jpg|This is probably the only reason Chris considers the mall an ideal dating locale, instead of sitting in a cemetery all day.
Image:Coffeeshop.jpg|Actually, the coffee shop was [[Hanna]]'s idea, although Chris probably would have suggested it himself, based on this.
Image:Putitin4.jpg|Chris always picks option 3
Image:Stalkher.jpg|Option 1 is [[Megan|fine too]].
Image:Putitin2.jpg|Chris's SOP for how to interact with women.
Image:Red-string.jpg|"I have a NEW idea that I am sure will [[Fail|REEL]] in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL [[Red String of Fate|RED STRING]]."
Image:Nabeshin1.jpg|Character Chris identifies with.
Image:Sumiyoshi.jpg|Character Chris should identify with.
Image:Excel-julay.jpg|JULAAAAYYYY!
Image:Pedro1.jpg|Compare this...
Image:RainbowChris.jpg|to ''this''
Image:scotpalazzo1.jpg|Better One?
Image:ilpalazzo.jpg|Or better Two?
Image:drool1.jpg|Typical reaction to reading ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''
Image: drool2.jpg|The Jerkop version
Image: Chris3days.jpg|Only three days...
Image: only3days.jpg|... since I skipped my last deadline.
Image: Title.JPG|The title is ''Excel Saga''!
Image: Title2.JPG|...or maybe it's ''Sonichu''... I can't remember.
Image: Hail.jpg|When you see it...
Image: Hailwrodents.jpg|...you'll have numerous pairs of [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|dirty, crapped briefs]]
Image: Bystanders.jpg|Even lazy shortcuts like this aren't original.
Image: Bystanders2.jpg|See?
Image: Pedro2.jpg|Pedro in Limbo
Image: Timevoid.jpg|Chris in the [[Time Void]]
Image: Bowling1.jpg|I'm not the same person I was just a moment ago...
Image: Saltier.jpg|I'm much, much saltier!
Image: Bowling.jpg|Chris defeats the bad guys with bowling power.
Image: Bowling2.jpg|And the original version.
Image: Rikdo-shit.jpg|Stereotypical depiction of a manga artist's room.
Image: More-rikdo-shit.jpg|Possible inspiration for Chris's interior decoration.
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|Compare to Chris's room.
Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|The eerie similarities.
Image: Simonla-notes.jpg|Chris's useless character notes.
Image: Matsuya-notes.jpg|And their possible inspiration.
Image: BloodTear.jpg|The Passion of...
Image: Exceltear.jpg|...the Chris?
Image:SoneePuchuu.jpg|They're so cute!
File:Shock.PNG|SHOCK
</gallery>
</center>
}}
==Sources==
<references/>
==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Anime]]
*[[Saga]]
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Excel Saga|''Excel Saga'']] on [[Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

List of places that have banned Chris

2012-03-01T18:46:23Z

Sonijew is back: /* Piedmont Virginia Community College */

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|Weapon of choice]]

Though he's a grown adult, at least physically, [[Chris]] is not above [[Chris and Anger|throwing tantrums]] and generally being a nuisance in public places like the manchild he really is. Due to his behavior, Chris has been '''banned''' from many places. Some of them have been temporary, some of them permanent.
==Locations==

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. The permaban came on 28 August [[2008]], when Chris got confrontational with a [[niggo|black]] child.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was [[troll]]ing him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Wal-Mart}}

Chris was twice kicked out of Wal-Mart. On 23 June [[2005]], the [[Niggos|African-American]] manager of the store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to arrest Chris for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but Chris refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late [[2009]], he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

===Target===
{{main|Target}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. When the issue was pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

==Websites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without using the proper mature content filters. The first time was around [[May 2009]], most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 [[July 2009]].

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Chris and Wikipedia}}

On 1 May 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward for violating Wikipedia's policy on userpages and notability. When he attempted to contest this course of action, his user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_%28Internet%29 sockpuppet] of a troll and not the genuine article). As of now, the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from ever being recreated.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on 2 [[July 2010]]. Chris has since evaded his ban.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "[[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Wolf Cub Scouts]]" in the late [[1980s]] because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|a Mailbag]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st [[birthday]], 24 February [[2003]]. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to [[Emily]], however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October [[2003]], Dean of Student Services [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex on campus. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and Anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a [[Autism papers|psychiatrist]] and go to anger management classes (neither of which seems to have helped).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in [[2008]]. He claimed in an email with [[lordsillynipples]], "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of [[Women's rights|women in bikinis]] on my [[Facebook]]; he was offended." Going by his frequent threats to use his new congregation as a personal army, it is not unlikely that Chris was booted out of the church when he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that Mr. Hartless would incite the congregation into raiding the ED page for Chris.
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of places that have banned Chris

2012-03-01T18:46:05Z

Sonijew is back: /* Wal-Mart */

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|Weapon of choice]]

Though he's a grown adult, at least physically, [[Chris]] is not above [[Chris and Anger|throwing tantrums]] and generally being a nuisance in public places like the manchild he really is. Due to his behavior, Chris has been '''banned''' from many places. Some of them have been temporary, some of them permanent.
==Locations==

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. The permaban came on 28 August [[2008]], when Chris got confrontational with a [[niggo|black]] child.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was [[troll]]ing him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Wal-Mart}}

Chris was twice kicked out of Wal-Mart. On 23 June [[2005]], the [[Niggos|African-American]] manager of the store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to arrest Chris for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but Chris refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late [[2009]], he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

===Target===
{{main|Target}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. When the issue was pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

==Websites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without using the proper mature content filters. The first time was around [[May 2009]], most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 [[July 2009]].

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Chris and Wikipedia}}

On 1 May 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward for violating Wikipedia's policy on userpages and notability. When he attempted to contest this course of action, his user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_%28Internet%29 sockpuppet] of a troll and not the genuine article). As of now, the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from ever being recreated.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on 2 [[July 2010]]. Chris has since evaded his ban.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "[[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Wolf Cub Scouts]]" in the late [[1980s]] because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|a Mailbag]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st [[birthday]], 24 February [[2003]]. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to [[Emily]], however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day{{Citation needed}}.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October [[2003]], Dean of Student Services [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex on campus. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and Anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a [[Autism papers|psychiatrist]] and go to anger management classes (neither of which seems to have helped).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in [[2008]]. He claimed in an email with [[lordsillynipples]], "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of [[Women's rights|women in bikinis]] on my [[Facebook]]; he was offended." Going by his frequent threats to use his new congregation as a personal army, it is not unlikely that Chris was booted out of the church when he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that Mr. Hartless would incite the congregation into raiding the ED page for Chris.
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Son-Chu

2012-02-29T17:38:25Z

Sonijew is back: /* Current Status */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu as of February 2012.<ref>[[Facebook statuses]]</ref>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and "IB MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]
It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (A common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it.
{{-}}

==Current status==
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear; However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the [[28 October 2011|infamous GaMe PLaCe incident]] in October of that year. Chris currently drives a [[Wikipedia:MItsubishi Motors|Mitsubishi]]; no other information about Chris' new <s>transformer</s> ride is available at this time.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Barbara Chandler

2012-02-26T11:33:13Z

Sonijew is back:

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 70)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Appearance==
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref> {{clear}}

==Family life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight overall) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The translation would be "She likes to date guys who curse a lot, and obsesses over them". The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. What he was probably trying to say: "She rolls with scrubs".

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years.

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on June 6th, 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on September 6, 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}} She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress|stressor]] in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, Chris's parents have gone the old-fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of their son and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology — like when Bob was growing up — but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of Down's syndrome can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/> {{clear}}

==Action Mom==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were released on bail, and Chris's hearing took place on 7 November 2011. It is currently unknown what happened during Barb's hearing.

==In the comics==
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips" in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==Audio appearances==
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* [[Matthew Noble call]]: In this call, Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.

==Video appearances==

Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

You're Always Pretty

2012-02-26T11:29:32Z

Sonijew is back:

'''You're Always Pretty''' (leaked as '''hyigybybbhgy.flv''') is the first video [[Barbara|Chris's mother]] has ever appeared in. In the video Chris and Barb solemnly make small talk while eating at [[McDonalds]]. Chris throws her some strangely inappropriate compliments. It is the first of it's kind; the most candid look at Chris's mother, who has not yet appeared in his [[YouTube]] videos. The video was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = You're Always Pretty
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aUG3rVfilH4}}
| stardate =
| subject = Food
| style =
| saga = {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Barb and Chris sit at a table eating fast food. Chris has apparently just brought out his camera and set it down. Barb is wearing Chris's old pair of [[Pedo-glasses]] with the blue Crayola Model Magic bridge.'']

'''Chris''': -Oh.

'''Barb''': [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Barb''': You got your digital camera?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just a little something there...

'''Barb''': Who- who're you gonna take pictures of?

'''Chris''': Uuh.. Just you.. 'Cause I love you!

'''Barb''': Oh, okay. [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.. Yeah.. So, you having fun today? Are we having fun right now?

'''Barb''': I'm eating.

'''Chris''': Mmm'kay. Y'know, you're very pretty. You're ''always'' pretty!

'''Barb''': Thank you.. [''Inaudible. Possibly saying "You know we're gonna get out of here speaking, we're having fun."''].

'''Chris''': Hm? What? Yeah. The shirt I picked out from the Goodwill the 'udder day. Yeah. [[Chris and Music|I'm free as a bird! And this bird you cannot change!]]

'''Barb''': Enjoy your food.

'''Chris''': Yes- [''promptly turns off camera'']

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Talk:List of videos

2012-02-26T11:27:04Z

Sonijew is back: /* Should we have a template and/or a category on the Tomgirl videos? */ new section

== sortable table? ==

perhaps we should make this into a sortable table format, so that users can sort by saga, et cetera. i like the current formatting, though, as it's probably a bit easier to read than a table, so maybe the table should go on a new page called [[Table of Captain's Logs]] or something --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 07:51, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
*until we can find a good way to sort the icons, we can't really do it as a table. i'll look into this --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 08:18, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
**Undid the table until we can find a way to make it sortable. --[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 08:21, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
***i'm a fukkin genius give me props yo [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 08:38, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
****What happens when the video has more than one subject/style/saga icon? --[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]]
****Actually, I prefer the list style because it's easier to read, but since I'm a newfag I'll let you guys decide what's best.--[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 08:55, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
****Also, yyyy/mm/dd dates suck.--[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 09:16, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
*****clyde came up with a way of making it sort the icons, and we're trying to make it a bit more readable. personally i think we should have two separate pages, [[List of Captain's Logs]]/[[List of videos]] for how it was before and [[Table of Captain's Logs]]/[[Table of videos]] for the new sortable table, because the list is easier to read but harder to browse or search.
*icons are now sortable. they're templates, so transclude them into the table with <nowiki>{{name}}</nowiki>. they work by including a hidden string that the table's sorting script can read(it ignores images). there's a list of available icon templates [[:Category:Icon_Templates|here]]. regards table layout, we're thinking of using something [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Sorting#Colspan_workaround like this] so that the description is on a new line but moves with the information directly above it. thoughts?
**Yeah, I like that.--[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 10:52, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
*i moved the table to [[Table of Videos]], and moved the key into a template(which you can easily edit using the little edit link i added to it while we work on it). there's not much point adding stuff to the table until the list is finished, though, so please continue the fantastic work that's been done on this article --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 11:27, 13 October 2009 (CEST)
**Thanks, Cogsdev. --[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 13:36, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

BITCHES, I FINALLY GOT THIS SHIT WORKING [[User:Clydec/sandbox]] [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:51, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

== new icon types? ==

perhaps we should add new icons for information such as how the video was released(leaked or youtube), which shirt he was wearing(using [[Chris and fashion]] as reference), time of day, etc. --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 04:57, 16 October 2009 (CEST)
*I'd be careful about over-complicating it. The icons were originally just supposed to be a guide so you could quickly identify a video that you were looking for, and people are probably more likely to remember subject, style and saga than what he was wearing or the time of day. --[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 14:28, 16 October 2009 (CEST)
**Although perhaps a [[List of Videos by Shirt]] page would be useful if people are willing to maintain it? --[[User:Ed.kelly.sonichu|Ed Kelly]] 14:31, 16 October 2009 (CEST)
::*As seemingly useless as the shirt icons are, they're absolutely hilarious. [[Image:Awesome_micro.png|Awesome]] work. --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 16:59, 27 October 2009 (CET)
*subject, style and saga are enough for finding a particular video you're looking for, but having more information makes it easier to find other videos you might not have been looking for, particularly with the sortable table. while time of day is a bit silly(especially since it's quite hard to tell), format(leaked/youtube) is quite useful, and shirt is probably not very useful but still quite interesting, i think

==The Great Merging==
Okay, so we have three pages that try to list every video Chris has made:
*[[List of videos produced by Christian Weston Chandler]]
*[[List of Videos]]
*[[Table of Videos]]

The first one is accurately dated, has good descriptions, and is updated up until [[August 2009]]. It's also a descriptive title. But it's in a very boring table and out of date.

The second has icons which are really nice, it categorizes videos, but a vague title (it should be at least "List of videos" for one). It really should have a more specific title, maybe give it "List of videos produced by Christian Weston Chandler" though that would exclude videos like the one where he goes to the bar which was actually made by a gal pal.

The third has the video in sortable table format, which is extremely useful, though the dating needs work (then again, Cogs is still working on it), but the title sucks (no offense to cogs) - it's still a list, just in table format.

Ideally, I see the first and second combined into the third and then we'll have a kickass list of all of Chris's videos. But we still need a good, descriptive title (or at least I think so - if you beg to differ, say so and perhaps you'll convince me otherwise).

Any thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:20, 19 October 2009 (CEST)

* i think a list of all videos chris related would be great, not just stuff he uploaded. i doubt anyone would search by that criteria anyway. we're just going for the shit that's hilarious. an icon to indicate leaked or live (chris drinking/city hall) might suffice. and the title is the least important shit. getting the shit into a decent format is more important. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:17, 20 October 2009 (CEST)
:*True, though I wasn't very clear, top priority is to get everything into a clean, presentable format so we have a kickass article that is useful, informative, and pleasurable to read. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:03, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

*I really think we need to make a sortable table combining the first and second into one, so it'd be easier to find videos by date, by title, and by length too. I think one of the faults of the CWCki is that information can be hard to find at times unless you know where to look and even I have problems finding videos on the CWCki. I might work on it but someone is more than welcome to beat me to the punch. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:02, 17 February 2011 (PST)

==New shirt icons==
Hey, guys, how about a new shape for shirt icons? ''(deleted. see article page for pics)'' If you like, I can make the rest of'em. My main goal was to visually distinguish the shirt icons from the round subject matter icons. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 12:20, 24 November 2009 (CET)
*I don't see why not. --[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 20:20, 24 November 2009 (CET)
:* Thanks! I'll upload them tomorrow, I think.
::By the way. What does the "website" icon depict? I seriously can't get it.
::Oh, and also. I think we need to somehow distinguish "video games" (subject matter) and "video game" (other). --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 20:24, 24 November 2009 (CET)

Okay, uploaded the '''new shirt icons''' (see article). Tell me what you think. On another note, how about these new icons: [[Image:Homosn.png]] [[Image:Fanartn.PNG]] [[Image:Sexn.png]], instead of the old ones: [[Image:Homos.png]] [[Image:Fanart.png]] [[Image:Sex.png]]? Also, my questions about the "website" icon and the "video game"/"video games" icons still stand. Okay, off to another article --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 21:52, 25 November 2009 (CET)

==Videobooks==

I noticed that none of the Videobooks are listed here. Is this intentional, and should we include them? I know that they're mostly dross, but there are still a few hilarious moments. [[User:Pugs Malone|Pugs Malone]] 20:35, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

*Couldn't hurt! --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 00:59, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Dates==
dd month yeah... gonna take a while to fix that. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 00:42, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

==The Future of Shirt Icons==

I'm starting on an epic mission to create icons for every shirt ever worn by Chris. So far, I've counted about forty unique shirts(!) and more are always possible to show up. I think this calls for the "Shirts" column to be removed from the table at the top of the screen. I don't think the shirts need to be used in the key since they're easily identifiable just by looking at them. I currently have ideas to combine both the icons and the thumbnails from [[Chris and Fashion]] and possibly create a new, definitive shirt list page. [[User:Kynes|Kynes]] 22:45, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

== Icon suggestions ==

I think there should be icons in the "other" tab, identifying if the video was hosted on [[Youtube]], or was on the [[DVD]] --[[User:Briscoe|Briscoe]] 22:18, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==This article is FUKKEN HUEG==

I think this article is getting too big to manage (especially with the sections turned off). Do you think we should split it into, say, <s>three</s> six-month segments? -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 03:49, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

'''Update:''' I reorganized most of the videos into one of three templates: one for 1994-2008, and one for each half of 2009, with another template to follow when July 2010 comes around. I think that this method will make editing the list more manageable, since it cuts the size down and makes it easier to not get lost in the markup. The templates can be accessed through links in the major headers. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 05:16, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

== What is this? ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC6VKccivVk I fail to see why this video does not have an article.] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 00:30, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

:You were too lazy to add it yourself? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 01:21, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

...we MISSED ONE?!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:36, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

:*[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|I set it up. Add to it and make changes where needed.]] --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 19:58, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

== Why isn't there a Jack Thaddeus saga icon? ==

I know that the Jack saga ended awhile ago, but still I think he deserves to have acknowledgement since he pretty much did get a saga from Chris thanks to the old CWCipedia ads.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 17:20, 4 June 2010 (UTC)
*I'd say its most likely that jack isn't really that popular amongst trolls, but i'd say that the saga is more about the cwckipedia management, and not about jack himself.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:53, 4 June 2010 (UTC)

== Flipnotes? ==

Add them to the list, or give them their own separate list?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:15, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

== Early names here need to be updates ==

"Captain's Log" where it isn't really. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 12:03, 17 November 2010 (PST)
: Good point. Entries like [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] should not be a redirect. Captain's log entries are videos which start with the words "Captain's log" somewhere in the opening segment of the video. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:11, 17 November 2010 (PST)

== Should we have a template and/or a category on the Tomgirl videos? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 03:27, 26 February 2012 (PST)

Teenage Dream

2012-02-26T11:17:59Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song (rather than finding a karaoke version).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
You think I'm pretty 
Without any make-up on 
You think I'm funny 
When I tell the puch line wrong 
I know you get me 
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met 
[[Lie|I was alright]] 
But things were kinda heavy 
You brought me to life 
Now every February 
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight 
No regrets, just love 
We can dance until we die 
You and I 
We'll be young forever

You make me 
Feel like 
I'm living a Teenage Dream 
The way you turn me on 
[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]] 
Let's runaway 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever look back

My heart stops 
When you look at me 
Just one touch 
Now baby I believe 
This is real 
So take a chance 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali 
And got drunk on the beach 
Got a motel and 
Built a floor out of sheets 
I finally found you 
My missing puzzle piece 
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight 
No regrets, just love 
We can dance until we die 
You and I 
We'll be young forever

You make me 
Feel like 
I'm living a Teenage Dream 
The way you turn me on 
[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]] 
Let's runaway 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Cheerleader

2012-02-26T11:16:32Z

Sonijew is back: STOP POSTING SEE ALSO FOR NO REASON YOU RETARDS

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie, wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]]. The video, for reasons unknown, appears to be sped up slightly faster than normal.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xQzUIZv4Xls}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! [[Kick the Autistic|Kick 'em in the knee!]] Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

[[I_AM_STRONG|Just a little warm up!]]

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

J! A! C! K! I! E! Jackie! Who's that girl who can't be beat? [[Jackie|Jackie! Jackie!]] Who's that girl [[Chris and English|who-- she's so sweet!]] Jackie! Jackie!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Forgot the Glitter

2012-02-26T11:16:09Z

Sonijew is back: STOP POSTING SEE ALSO FOR NO REASON YOU RETARDS

{{Honest}}

'''Forgot the Glitter''' (leaked as ''vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance in the changing room of a [[Walmart]] for [[Jackie]]. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated.

[[Chris]], dressed in his gut-wrapping red tank top and jean skirt, wobbles his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal the [[tomgirl|Transgender]] symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris' continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the [[Homos|LGBT community]]. Although the symbol appears to be rendered in Crayola marker and not tattoo ink, it wouldn't be entirely past Chris to have himself forever branded like the gender-confused cow he strives to be.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request; a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a sane individual, has been absent in Chris's [[Love Quest|pursuit]] of appeasing a sweetheart until now. Still though, the completed video further illustrates that when [[china]] is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Forgot the Glitter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wRD1EBmaRx4}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex}}
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Red tank top
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[We see Chris in his tom girl get up, bent over to talk to the camera in a change room in Walmart]''

I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded then I thought(?)

What the hell is going on with that light(?)

Anyway mmmm. Enjoy the 2 minutes in the dressing room here.

[Chris begins to shake his body]

Walla walla Walmart Walla walla Walmart, Walla walla walla walla walla Walmart walla walla

[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera]

Walla walla Walmart walla walla walla walla Walmart.

deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Walmart

walla walla Walmart walla walla Walmart shake that, walla walla Walmart

[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing]

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Walmart

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla

shake your butt shake your butt, walla walla walmart.

[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up]

oh! the things i do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

(sigh) Jackie i'll progress. Check my progress.

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Little Tomboy Blue

2012-02-26T11:15:41Z

Sonijew is back: STOP POSTING SEE ALSO FOR NO REASON YOU RETARDS

{{Honest}}

'''Little Tomboy Blue''' (leaked as '''urqehgvuierg''') is a horrifying video of [[Chris]] stripping for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]] to musical accompaniment, leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

Chris, in full [[tomgirl]] garb, uses his [[PS3]] to play "Fuck the Pain Away" by electroclash artist Peaches as he poorly imitates traditional stripper mannerisms. Interspersed in the actual song are his made-up lyrics, mostly nonsensical exclamations of his tomgirl pride. As the video progresses, Chris sheds more and more of his clothing, eventually revealing his [[muscle bra]] and panties, with his abdominal flab spilling over the waistline. At points in the video, Chris turns his backside toward the camera and pulls down the panties to jiggle his fat ass. Toward the end, Chris removes his bra and slowly massages his nipples while repeatedly uttering the song's final chorus, thus ensuring that all of our recurring nightmares are replaced by Stripping Chris himself.

It is unknown whether or not Jackie explicitly requested this video, or Chris taped it as a spontaneous "gift". However, unaware that most strippers are not only [[obesity|thin]] but also [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], Chris' hamfisted attempt at impressing Jackie instead comes across as thoroughly disgusting and creepy. Many [[Relics of Fail]] are visible in this video, including several [[Sonichu]] cutouts, and the original [[Attraction Sign]] from 2003, which, evidently, Chris has found important enough to have kept taped to his wall almost nine years later.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Little Tomboy Blue
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Dada-uqoDUY}}
| stardate =
| subject = Strip tease
| style = {{Comedy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue/navy tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
Little Tomboy Blue? Come blow my horn.

''At one point, Chris attempts to lift both legs to waist height. He has to grab them with his arms to accomplish this, and immediately grimaces with the pain of physical effort''

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

You're Always Pretty

2012-02-26T11:15:07Z

Sonijew is back:

[[File:Babura.PNG|thumb|Barbara in her prime; eating what appears to be a Filet-O-Fish with a McDonalds Sweet Tea beside her]]

'''You're Always Pretty''' (leaked as '''hyigybybbhgy.flv''') is the first video [[Barbara|Chris's mother]] has ever appeared in. In the video Chris and Barb solemnly make small talk while eating at [[McDonalds]]. Chris throws her some strangely inappropriate compliments. It is the first of it's kind; the most candid look at Chris's mother, who has not yet appeared in his [[YouTube]] videos. The video was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = You're Always Pretty
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aUG3rVfilH4}}
| stardate =
| subject = Food
| style =
| saga = {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Barb and Chris sit at a table eating fast food. Chris has apparently just brought out his camera and set it down. Barb is wearing Chris's old pair of [[Pedo-glasses]] with the blue Crayola Model Magic bridge.'']

'''Chris''': -Oh.

'''Barb''': [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Barb''': You got your digital camera?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just a little something there...

'''Barb''': Who- who're you gonna take pictures of?

'''Chris''': Uuh.. Just you.. 'Cause I love you!

'''Barb''': Oh, okay. [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.. Yeah.. So, you having fun today? Are we having fun right now?

'''Barb''': I'm eating.

'''Chris''': Mmm'kay. Y'know, you're very pretty. You're ''always'' pretty!

'''Barb''': Thank you.. [''Inaudible. Possibly saying "You know we're gonna get out of here speaking, we're having fun."''].

'''Chris''': Hm? What? Yeah. The shirt I picked out from the Goodwill the 'udder day. Yeah. [[Chris and Music|I'm free as a bird! And this bird you cannot change!]]

'''Barb''': Enjoy your food.

'''Chris''': Yes- [''promptly turns off camera'']

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Cakefarts

2012-02-26T11:13:43Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Honest}}

'''Cakefarts''' (leaked as ''fyfdriryjehvsdthyjvdj.mp4 [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris sits his naked ass on a [[Chris and money|$9]] [[Obesity|chocolate cake]] for [[Jackie]]'s amusement. The full uncensored version can be found [http://imageshack.us/clip/my-videos/36/rsv.mp4/ here].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cakefarts
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1heDIzvEPl0}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Heeey Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.

''[Chris proceeds to finger the cake, followed by licking his digit]''

Mmm. Let's get this done.

''Chris has the words [[Random-access humor|"AWESOME SAUCE"]] written in barely legible script on his ass. One of the E's is the wrong way around, and there is [[Fail|scribbled out attempt]] at writing the word awesome.''

''[Unintelligible]''... Sauce... There it is: Sauce. A dance! Is dance! Doin' a dance. Doo wop doo. [[Random-access humor|Drink a monkey monkey]] and ''[unintelligible]''

''[Chris flails about like a retard in order to make his deformed [[duck|dick]] jiggle]''

Let's do this.

''[Performs the act for which the video is named]''

What the hell am I doing here? ''[Finishes smearing ass with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|chocolate cake]]]'' What the hell am I doing? I paid 9 American dollar for this cake. That's a lotta yen. Kawaii! Bye, Japan.

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Template:Picture of the now

2012-02-26T11:11:51Z

Sonijew is back:

[[File:Babura.PNG|300px|left]]

A wild [[Snorlax]] appeared!

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a picture, which is normally related to recent Chris activity. Beside it should be a caption, quote or brief explanation of the picture, with appropriate wiki links.. Suggestions for new pictures of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Picture of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:Picture of the now

2012-02-26T11:11:41Z

Sonijew is back:

[[File:Babura.PNG|300px|left]]

A wild Snorlax appeared!

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a picture, which is normally related to recent Chris activity. Beside it should be a caption, quote or brief explanation of the picture, with appropriate wiki links.. Suggestions for new pictures of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Picture of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2012-02-26T11:10:43Z

Sonijew is back:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]].
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]; Chris plans to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*13 [[January 2012|January]]: A [[Sega]] [[Chris_in_the_media#Sega_Acknowledges_Sonichu|"Free Stuff Friday" video]] references [[Sonichu]].
*5 [[January 2012|January]]: Chris and Barbara appear at [[28 October 2011|another hearing]] in connection to their attack on [[the GAMe PLACe]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Random-access humor

2012-02-22T19:56:35Z

Sonijew is back:

: '''random access''' ''n.''
:: 1. ''(computing)'' type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). ''See also'' random access memory.
::''adj.''
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
: '''humor''' ''n.''
:: 1. Something funny.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' Something not funny, but which can be made funny when accessed randomly (q.v.). ''See'' random access.

[[Image:Wild_Snergen_Flergen.jpg|thumb|[[Wild Sonichu]] offers some uproarious random-access humor]]

'''Random-access humor''' is [[Chris]]'s terminology for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. More traditional literary analysts might describe this as the [[Wikipedia:Non sequitur (literary device)|literary device of ''non sequitur'']]. The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Christian's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random that it is automatically funny, which is a common fallacy among nerds and retards. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often unoriginal. Jokes are mostly taken from [[Adult Swim]] shows, ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', or even shows like [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|''Ed, Edd n Eddy'']] and [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']], making them completely out of context. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris ''is'' original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or making word-plays. This is due to Chris being a [[Autism papers|"somewhat concrete"]] thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. Bob told Chris a joke about Obama painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps ''re-telling'' the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "Nantucket" is, ''you will Google it soon.'') Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:DariaCamacho User talk:DariaCamacho]</ref> a fear which falls nicely in line with [[autism]].

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. He tends to use these when a conversation is not going in a direction he wants it to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will briefly distract him from seeing what a failure he is.

{{quote|Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.|Chris during the [[Father Call]], showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills}}

==Random ramblings==
In November [[2007]], in a misguided attempt to help [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:

<blockquote>
----

Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Hero]] is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the [[Transformers Generation 1|Junkeons]]...

{{quote| -"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from Ed Edd n Eddy episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]</ref>
 -"[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:|Uncle Spunky is a Funky Monkey]]."
 -"[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]."
 -"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
 -"[[CWCFlyingElephants|I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket.]]"
 -"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
 -"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
 -"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."<ref>From the US-dubbed version of Samurai Pizza Cats. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had "had his wisdom teeth removed."</ref>
 -"[[BILLY MAYS|Call 'Right Now']], and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your [[Sweetheart]], FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
 -"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
 -"Well get out of here. What are you waiting on? I'm gonna chase you outta here."<ref>Originally said by Meatwad; originated from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' episode [http://athf.frostillusions.net/transcripts/oldrippy.html "Ol' Drippy"]</ref>
 -"[[Flipnote Hatena|You've got a Hippo on your head.]]"
 -"[[Transformers]]. Robots on your head. Okay."
 -"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."<ref name="brak"> From [[Adult Swim|''The Brak Show'']] episode [http://members.fortunecity.com/brakshow/newbrak.html "The New Brak"]</ref>
 -"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."<ref name="brak"/>
 -"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"<ref name="brak"/>
 -"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist.<ref>''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "[[JERKS|jerks]]")</ref>"
 -"Is this [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what?"

|Chris-Chan|}}

I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!
----
</blockquote>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Punchy]] - A fighting electric hedgehog Pokémon who is explicitly stated to be the master of RAH, although, so far, he hasn't shown it.
*[[Monty Python]] - Actual masters of RAH, whom Chris unsuccessfully tried to emulate.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]
*[[Christian's Sex Joke]] - A staple of Chris's repertoire.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and fashion

2012-02-19T23:18:33Z

Sonijew is back: /* Cosplaying */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a [http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1cd2b01&deptid=70673&dep=MEN&catid=78744&pcat=MEN&cat=casual+shirts&NOffset=0&pcatid=70673&Ne=4294957900+5+29+3+596+1007+8+1031+18+904+833+949&N=4294938542+269&SO=0&cattyp=RLE&Nao=0&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70673%7c78744 St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo], which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person,including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|4]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|12]] [[Sign Destruction Video|13]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|3]] [[Wigwam|4]] [[WeighIn|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|2]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|3]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2266|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and fashion

2012-02-19T23:18:11Z

Sonijew is back: /* Fanny pack */

Chris and anger

2012-02-19T22:54:34Z

Sonijew is back: /* Causes of Chris's anger */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quote|I'm not a man who likes to keep rage constantly in my [[Heart level|heart]].|Chris, lying<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3]]</ref>}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|_aolN7WNKno}}</center>

[[Chris]] has '''anger''' management issues. These usually surface when he is under [[stress]]. Trolls refer to Chris's fits of rage as "tard rage", an expression normally used to describe the seemingly super-human strength a normally mild-tempered [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] displays when he or she is pushed too far and goes on an anger-fueled rampage. Although in Chris's case "super-human" and "strength" can easily be replaced with "impotent" and "bawling".

== Causes of Chris's anger ==
[[Image:Rawr fag.jpg|thumb|A typical fit of 'tard rage.]]
Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]], whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Bob]] and [[Barbara|Barb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him alone up in a room full of toys when he was a year-old. [[Chris's room|How ironic.]]

Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could be his father, Bob. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely be afraid to retaliate to the things Bob does that annoy him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "the damn Internet", and occasionally [[Bob walks in|cutting down the Internet]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].

Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that as of the time of writing, as well as long after, Chris is still a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]]. Being a virgin seems to make Chris feel like he is entitled to being allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only manages to [[masturbation|jack off]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he has large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just has to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though never to this extreme.

Furthermore, Chris is autistic and therefore lacks understanding of the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry, he sees no reason why he should not go positively nuts. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces has shown that autistic ''children'' can be very short-tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child - he is an autistic adult, and to be honest most other autistics have learned how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they are Chris's age. Chris has not. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'' - which is apparently directly brought about from Chris's autism.

But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that it's his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.

Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years. Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough...

== Examples of Chris's anger ==
The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered [[autism|confusing]], to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage he began to shout "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]" at several [[jerkops]] who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Wal-Mart]]. Most normal people do not shout [[Megan|anime]] references at people who are making them angry. Chris, however, expresses anger like a retarded Internet tough guy would do, taking out his anger on a video camera seeing as he knows it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat people up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared from expressing his anger IRL, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.

{{quote|"Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attack]] that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in."|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}

A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|strangle him]] some day, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes.

On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day," or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to the conflict between these extremes.

{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the police. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash.]]}}

Occasionally when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two e-mails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]] — the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all caps phrase. The second sounds more angry and possibly a bit desperate.

{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon]] Lightning'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about.}}

{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. SURLY you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700.}}

Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his 'tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll and Chris beat it like a spoiled three-year-old who didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proved to us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box, but is unable to go through light press-wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video.

{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the [[Chris Loses It]] video.}}

Another recent example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people even on the telephone. In his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris quickly became rude to Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his health and his attitude. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "Ian Brandon Anderson" and was completely oblivious over the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his stammering and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.

Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[Trolls|adoring fans]], another factor that causes Chris some notable grief was discovered to be the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:

{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger's syndrome.}}

It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to be of the opinion that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person]].

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My Bad Side
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SyYGgtN7s9M}}
| Stardate = 18 January 2012
| Maker = GhostofBillRiley
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Death threats]]
*[[:Category:Videos with RAGE|Videos with Rage]]

{{Chris and}}

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Tardrage.png]] </div>

Michael Snyder

2012-02-19T18:39:54Z

Sonijew is back:

{{quote|'''Chris:''' I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! JEW! '''Mike:''' He probably will.|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-1956 (age 55)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| JEW (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-)
|-
|}

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>; Hebrew מִיכָאֵל שניידר) is the [[manajerk|owner]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (now Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, giving him [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] to rage at.

Due to his [[Naive|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> and even a [[pedofork| child molester]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris got legal charges for a more serious attack.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist, homophobic creep. He would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[niggos|black kid]]. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says [[Mimms]].

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

Chris is vague about why he thinks he was banned; he has said that ''"Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."''<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>

==Years of hatred (2008-11)==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris linked Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

Chris's violent urges against Snyder periodically came to the surface, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris drove to the PLACe and Mike appeared on YouTube and commented ''"Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it."'' Chris claimed that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.<ref>[[6 June 2010]]</ref> Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments, most notably : ''"When I go to [[CWCville|hell]], I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other [[pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder."''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that Bob (and, presumably, Barb as well) shares Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central: ''"Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. ''[...]'' Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.''

==Shit gets real (2011-)==
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and [[Barb]] launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", now owned by Snyder. Chris faces charges of trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an accident; Barb is up for assaulting a [[jerkop]] and failure to stop at the scene of an accident. Mike has also filed a civil suit against them both.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Death threats

2012-02-19T18:39:28Z

Sonijew is back: /* Chris as recipient */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

[[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' became increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily grown over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats, the primary target of which was [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst by a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place guys) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [[YouTube]].

In a rare act, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologised]] for this death threat... about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy — [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and [[Clyde Cash]] on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO [[GodJesus|GOD AND JESUS]] TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[Jason Kendrick Howell message|I PRAY YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], [[Clyde Cash]] has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[Dirty crapped briefs|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

[[Don't Mess With Me|Chris posted another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Chris also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked in to Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Ireland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a [[nigger]]; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The Cwcipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris address to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claims that he will [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ends the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in LBP2. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that the Game Place would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

==Chris as recipient==

Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4th [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to photograph his daughter, this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.

==See also==
*[[death|Chris and Death]]
*[[Chris and Anger]]

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Anna McLerran

2012-02-19T18:37:49Z

Sonijew is back:

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|Never trust a Mormon troll]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) is a former [[gal-pal]] who met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. She and Chris are no longer in contact. Despite having been one of Chris's few real-life "friends", Anna is disliked by many for her attention whoring and inability to live up to her promises regarding information about Chris.

==Pre-ED==
Chris was brought to Anna's attention when, during the [[Love Quest]] era, he started advertising himself in front of Pac Sun. This is what inspired her woeful short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]], published early in [[2005]].<ref>[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005/02/story-7.html]</ref>

After publishing the story she befriended Chris and he threw her a surprise birthday party (see below). Chris made romantic advances towards her until she told him she was a lesbian and a Mormon. His [[heart level]] was shattered once again.

Anna is indeed gay. Before coming out, she told Chris she was a lesbian in order to rebuff his advances,<ref>Via [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran Formspring]:"...it was the only way to get him to stop thinking of me as a 'candidate'..."</ref> but recently she has lamented having to come out of the closet to her Mormon family.<ref>[http://thundercamp.tumblr.com/post/2784133782/tell-your-parents-something-youve-been-witholding Anna's Tumblr page]</ref> Chris occasionally refers to her as proof that he can be friends with [[homos|homosexuals]] (for instance, in this [[IRC (27 December 2008)|December 2008 IRC chat]]).

==ED drama==
After Christian discovered the aforementioned story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and Fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[Chris Loses It|perverse psychotic]].

{{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note from Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}}

This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself.<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref> It is unknown why she had actually befriended him; whether or not it was to quietly troll him and laugh at his stories, or if it was genuine. Many people lean towards the former as she appears to have a bit of a sadistic streak, but according to her, her intentions were pure.<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/40869014897045504</ref> While she is well known to defend her friends to the bitter end, Christian included, she has no problem mocking the mentally handicapped (who doesn't?), implying that [[autistic]] people should be embarrassed for being, well, autistic.

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

==Current events==
On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about pampered socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against tiresome faux-punk guitarist [[Wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]]. Anna, self-appointed guardian of Chris, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref>http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he exhibits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticize the CWCki and other sources of the truth about Chris, claiming that "there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. [[Death threats|super nice]]."<ref>Ibid.</ref> This is all very amusing when you consider her initial reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>

Anna announced plans to write a book encompassing the life and failure of Chris. As with many of her claims, this proved to be a load of bullshit.
{{-}}

==Anna's b-day/going away party==
Before Anna left for Utah, there was a birthday/going away party for her. Fortunately for trolls, it was documented and Chris is seen outside of his natural habitat, [[Fridays After Five|attempting to socialize]] with his peers.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|Everyone's favorite crypto-troll, Anna.
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Anna McLerran

2012-02-19T18:36:53Z

Sonijew is back:

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|Never trust a Mormon troll]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) is a [[gal-pal]] who met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. She and Chris are no longer in contact. Despite having been one of Chris's few real-life "friends", Anna is disliked by many for her attention whoring and inability to live up to her promises regarding information about Chris.

==Pre-ED==
Chris was brought to Anna's attention when, during the [[Love Quest]] era, he started advertising himself in front of Pac Sun. This is what inspired her woeful short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]], published early in [[2005]].<ref>[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005/02/story-7.html]</ref>

After publishing the story she befriended Chris and he threw her a surprise birthday party (see below). Chris made romantic advances towards her until she told him she was a lesbian and a Mormon. His [[heart level]] was shattered once again.

Anna is indeed gay. Before coming out, she told Chris she was a lesbian in order to rebuff his advances,<ref>Via [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran Formspring]:"...it was the only way to get him to stop thinking of me as a 'candidate'..."</ref> but recently she has lamented having to come out of the closet to her Mormon family.<ref>[http://thundercamp.tumblr.com/post/2784133782/tell-your-parents-something-youve-been-witholding Anna's Tumblr page]</ref> Chris occasionally refers to her as proof that he can be friends with [[homos|homosexuals]] (for instance, in this [[IRC (27 December 2008)|December 2008 IRC chat]]).

==ED drama==
After Christian discovered the aforementioned story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and Fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[Chris Loses It|perverse psychotic]].

{{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note from Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}}

This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself.<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref> It is unknown why she had actually befriended him; whether or not it was to quietly troll him and laugh at his stories, or if it was genuine. Many people lean towards the former as she appears to have a bit of a sadistic streak, but according to her, her intentions were pure.<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/40869014897045504</ref> While she is well known to defend her friends to the bitter end, Christian included, she has no problem mocking the mentally handicapped (who doesn't?), implying that [[autistic]] people should be embarrassed for being, well, autistic.

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

==Current events==
On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about pampered socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against tiresome faux-punk guitarist [[Wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]]. Anna, self-appointed guardian of Chris, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref>http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he exhibits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticize the CWCki and other sources of the truth about Chris, claiming that "there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. [[Death threats|super nice]]."<ref>Ibid.</ref> This is all very amusing when you consider her initial reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>

Anna announced plans to write a book encompassing the life and failure of Chris. As with many of her claims, this proved to be a load of bullshit.
{{-}}

==Anna's b-day/going away party==
Before Anna left for Utah, there was a birthday/going away party for her. Fortunately for trolls, it was documented and Chris is seen outside of his natural habitat, [[Fridays After Five|attempting to socialize]] with his peers.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|Everyone's favorite crypto-troll, Anna.
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Clyde Cash

2012-02-19T18:33:51Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Chris]]'s [[troll]]s, often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and Reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]

Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected a foul play.
{{clear}}

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]

After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]
| maker = Psycatalyst
| subject = | type = | info = }}
}}

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]

{{Clyde Saga}}

{{Trolls}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

Clyde Cash

2012-02-19T18:31:23Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Chris]]'s [[troll]]s, often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and Reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually with the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|left|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]

Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected a foul play.

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]

After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and Health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]
| maker = Psycatalyst
| subject = | type = | info = }}
}}

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]

{{Clyde Saga}}

{{Trolls}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

Surfshack Tito (troll)

2012-02-19T18:28:23Z

Sonijew is back: Undo revision 157054 by Sonijew is back (talk)

{{Quote|God damn womanizing, raping... trollin' stupid [[pickle suit]]ed... [[nigger]]!|Chris on Tito<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Titos.png|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Surfshack Tito
|-
|'''Real name'''
|Don
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Niggos|<s>Nigger</s>]] [[Chris and race|Hawaiʻian]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Internet troll, hacker
|-
|}
'''Surfshack Tito''' (also known as [[Calling Out|Don]]) is a mysterious [[troll]] who first emerged in early [[March 2010]]. His arrival was reminiscent of the rise of [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009. Like Jack, he first made his mark by hacking [[Chris]]'s [[PS3|PlayStation Network]] accounts.

The nickname "Surfshack Tito" is a reference to the corpulent surf-shop owner from the [[Wikipedia: Nickelodeon| Nickelodeon]] kids' cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. During the exchanges with Chris, most of them from Tito are ended with a Tito-styled word of wisdom. The choice to go with the name is most likely inspired by an infamous copypasta about Tito.

Based on Chris's insults towards Tito in the e-mails and videos, it was assumed that Chris believes that [[Chris and Reality|the actual Tito from ''Rocket Power'' is trolling him.]] However, the truth is that the image attached to an e-mail shows a photoshopped image of the Wallflower standing next to a [[niggo|really tall dark guy]]. The photo is left out of this article due to an agreement with [[the Wallflower]].

==Tito in Chris's videos==
[[Image:Tito 300.gif|frame|It's easy to see what the Wallflower fell for, isn't it?]]
Chris first addressed Tito in a [[Surfshack Tito (video)|video]] released on 2 March 2010. His comments were brief and cryptic. Chris merely referred to Tito by name, threatened him with doom in his nightmares, and delivered a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Execution_and_effect|Curse Shot]] attack.

Shortly afterward, [[Clyde Cash]] explained that Tito had hacked Chris's PSN account a few days prior, in late February. This revelation was accompanied by another info-dump concerning Chris's ongoing [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloadable]] [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|content]] spending spree.

A week later, trolls discovered the identity of [[the Wallflower]], throwing Chris into a flailing rage. Initially, Chris seemed to blame Clyde for the breakup of his latest one-sided relationship, but on 14 March 2010, he released a [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|video]] suggesting that he viewed Tito as the culprit. In that clip, he declares: "Tito. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your-your days are numbered." Threats involving a shillelagh and Chris's deadly [[pocket knife]] followed.

Tito apparently kept up the pressure on Chris through the next few days of March 2010. On 18 March, Chris released [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|yet another threatening video]], in which he accused Tito of stealing the Wallflower from him, called him a "womanizing rapist" and a "[[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited]] [[nigger]]", and alluded to e-mails he had received from Tito (their contents unspecified, but Chris definitely didn't like them).

However, since the end of the Wallflower [[saga]], Surfshack Tito has slipped from Chris's consciousness and has not made any further appearances in Chris's videos. He is, however, an important figure behind the [[Fashion_Square_Mall#Chris_captured_on_video|August 2010 videotaped encounter of Chris at Fashion Square Mall]].

[[Image:Surfshack Tito.jpg|thumb|Tito in real life, enjoying a ukulele after another successful trolling plan.]]

In August 2011, Chris returned after a hiatus from YouTube to [[Calling Out|announce]] that he had received documents which revealed Tito's real identity. Referring to him as Don, Chris demanded a public apology from Tito for [[Wikipedia:PlayStation_Network_outage|hacking the PSN]], and $1,000 among other things.

==E-mails with Chris==
{{main|Surfshack Tito E-mails}}
During mid-March 2010, Tito exchanged several e-mails with Chris, baiting him with regard to the revelation of the Wallflower's identity and other subjects. Their conversations reveal that Chris was aware of his gal-pal's interest in gay slash fiction, and was apparently willing to look past it (the quest for [[china]] trumping all other considerations). The e-mails also feature Chris employing the word "nigger" with [[Chris and race|great enthusiasm]]. Note that Surfshack Tito is actually Hawaiʻian, not a [[niggo]].

Between late August and early September 2010, [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|Tito resurfaced]] in Chris's failed plot to scam him and Clyde Cash. Their e-mails reveal Chris's intentions behind destroying his PS3 and waiting at the mall; he sought a bounty of $9,001 towards his PS3's destruction and very poorly attempted to cheat Tito and Clyde out of the money.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[Surfshack Tito (video)]]
*[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
*[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
*[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]
*[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tito, Surfshack}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]

Jack Thaddeus

2012-02-19T18:28:08Z

Sonijew is back: /* In the comics */

{{Quote|Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my [[PlayStation Network]]s accounts, you expert hacker! You, you [[Chris and English|ir—rational expert]]! Motherfucking [[Chris and religion|burning-in-Hell]] hacker!|Chris on Jack<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Ahuvia.png|200px|center]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Ahuviya Rotem Harel
|-
|'''Birth name'''
|Phillip V. Haskins-Delici
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Jack Thaddeus JThadius, JThadeus ADF Felipe Delicias David Crass
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 12 August [[1985]]
|-
| '''Residence'''
| Philadelphia, PA, [[USA]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Transwoman
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| American
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|}
'''Jack Thaddeus''' (born 12 August 1985) is the [[troll]] responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings with [[Chris]]. He is also a TRUE and HONEST [[homo]].<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> In [[August 2011]], he was outed as being none other than [[Internet]] lolcow '''Ahuviya Rotem Harel''' ("ADF"), a noted [[cosplay]]er, [[Michael Snyder|JEW]], communist, and [[Asperger's syndrome|"Aspergian"]].

==PSN hax==
Jack had a sweeping victory in the seizure of multiple Chris PSN accounts, using them to blackmail Chris into [[Chris humps his PS3|dry-humping his PS3]] and [[It's UGH!|singing "It's okay to be gay"]]. Unimpressed by Chris's performance, he deleted them for the good of mankind.

Jack worked with his daughter [[Samantha Thaddeus]] in order to break into Chandler's PSN accounts and possibly bring about the beginning of the [[Liquid Chris]] Saga.<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails#7/19/09|The Mysterious Man at Otakon]]</ref>

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Gay&PickleAds.JPG|thumb|left|Jack's ads]]

In [[November 2009]], Jack purchased advertising space on the [[CWCipedia]]. One banner ad linked to a [[gay]] rights website (noting that the creator and hero of ''[[Family Guy]]'' both support gay rights, and using the hated word "[[naïve]]"), while another advertised Mexican vacations using an anthropomorphic [[pickle|cactus]] mascot.

Chris was incensed by the desecration of his wiki and [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|demanded that the ads be removed]]. Upon being told that Thaddeus was responsible, Chris declared "[[Kill De Jack|I'll deal with him myself]]." Whatever measures he took, though, they didn't do much good, because the original ads were soon joined by many new banners featuring pickles, [[homos]], and other things Chris hates and fears. These ads would have stayed for a long time since Jack, a gentle and generous soul, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Do NOT tamper with the advertisements (CCS)|rented all the ads-space up to the end of 2010]].

Jack eventually leased some of the adspace to [[Mao]], the webmaster of the [[Asperpedia]]. On 25 [[February 2010]], this lease apparently concluded, and Jack filled the website with dicks.

Eventually, on 18 [[March 2010]], Jack pulled all his funding from the site, forcing the Sysop to take the site down. It came back the next day under the rule of Mao.

==In the comics==
[[Image:jacktochris.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Jack made his first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns him and [[Clyde Cash]] for being homo trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicide.

==Called out==
[[image:separatedatbirth.jpg|thumb|left|Separated at birth?]]

On 16 [[August 2011]] [[Calling_out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|Chris claimed]] to have dox on Jack, and claimed that his real name was Ahuviya, that he lived in Pennsylvania, and that Jack is planning to have [[Wikipedia:Sex reassignment surgery (male-to-female)|gender reassignment surgery]]. He demanded a video of apology to be uploaded by Jack/Ahuviya by 10 [[September 2011]].

A week later, [[Calling_Out#Re-Calling Ahuvia|he revealed]] that Ahuviya was a [[Molvania|communist]] and into BDSM.

In a shocking twist, it emerged that Jack/Ahuviya was none other than Ahuviya Rotem Harel, a.k.a. ADF, a lolcow almost as big as Chris himself.<ref>[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Why_Philadelphia_is_so_much_Greater_than_CWCville]</ref><ref>[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Advice_for_Chris-chan_from_Ahuviya_Harel]</ref> In a perhaps ironic twist, despite the animosity between the two, they share many of the same traits and characteristics. <ref>[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/ADF_and_CWC]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]

==Sources==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page ADFki]
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Thaddeus, Jack}}

[[Category:Trolls]][[Category: CWCipedia Saga]]

Surfshack Tito (troll)

2012-02-19T18:27:41Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Quote|God damn womanizing, raping... trollin' stupid [[pickle suit]]ed... [[nigger]]!|Chris on Tito<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Titos.png|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Surfshack Tito
|-
|'''Real name'''
|Don
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Niggos|<s>Nigger</s>]] [[Chris and race|Hawaiʻian]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Internet troll, hacker
|-
|}
'''Surfshack Tito''' (also known as [[Calling Out|Don]]) is a mysterious [[troll]] who first emerged in early [[March 2010]]. His arrival was reminiscent of the rise of [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009. Like Jack, he first made his mark by hacking [[Chris]]'s [[PS3|PlayStation Network]] accounts.

The nickname "Surfshack Tito" is a reference to the corpulent surf-shop owner from the [[Wikipedia: Nickelodeon| Nickelodeon]] kids' cartoon ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. During the exchanges with Chris, most of them from Tito are ended with a Tito-styled word of wisdom. The choice to go with the name is most likely inspired by an infamous copypasta about Tito.

Based on Chris's insults towards Tito in the e-mails and videos, it was assumed that Chris believes that [[Chris and Reality|the actual Tito from ''Rocket Power'' is trolling him.]] However, the truth is that the image attached to an e-mail shows a photoshopped image of the Wallflower standing next to a [[niggo|really tall dark guy]]. The photo is left out of this article due to an agreement with [[the Wallflower]].

==Tito in Chris's videos==
[[Image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|It's easy to see what the Wallflower fell for, isn't it?]]

Chris first addressed Tito in a [[Surfshack Tito (video)|video]] released on 2 March 2010. His comments were brief and cryptic. Chris merely referred to Tito by name, threatened him with doom in his nightmares, and delivered a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Execution_and_effect|Curse Shot]] attack.

Shortly afterward, [[Clyde Cash]] explained that Tito had hacked Chris's PSN account a few days prior, in late February. This revelation was accompanied by another info-dump concerning Chris's ongoing [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloadable]] [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|content]] spending spree.

A week later, trolls discovered the identity of [[the Wallflower]], throwing Chris into a flailing rage. Initially, Chris seemed to blame Clyde for the breakup of his latest one-sided relationship, but on 14 March 2010, he released a [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|video]] suggesting that he viewed Tito as the culprit. In that clip, he declares: "Tito. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your-your days are numbered." Threats involving a shillelagh and Chris's deadly [[pocket knife]] followed.

Tito apparently kept up the pressure on Chris through the next few days of March 2010. On 18 March, Chris released [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|yet another threatening video]], in which he accused Tito of stealing the Wallflower from him, called him a "womanizing rapist" and a "[[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited]] [[nigger]]", and alluded to e-mails he had received from Tito (their contents unspecified, but Chris definitely didn't like them).

However, since the end of the Wallflower [[saga]], Surfshack Tito has slipped from Chris's consciousness and has not made any further appearances in Chris's videos. He is, however, an important figure behind the [[Fashion_Square_Mall#Chris_captured_on_video|August 2010 videotaped encounter of Chris at Fashion Square Mall]].

[[Image:Surfshack Tito.jpg|thumb|Tito in real life, enjoying a ukulele after another successful trolling plan.]]

In August 2011, Chris returned after a hiatus from YouTube to [[Calling Out|announce]] that he had received documents which revealed Tito's real identity. Referring to him as Don, Chris demanded a public apology from Tito for [[Wikipedia:PlayStation_Network_outage|hacking the PSN]], and $1,000 among other things.

==E-mails with Chris==
{{main|Surfshack Tito E-mails}}
During mid-March 2010, Tito exchanged several e-mails with Chris, baiting him with regard to the revelation of the Wallflower's identity and other subjects. Their conversations reveal that Chris was aware of his gal-pal's interest in gay slash fiction, and was apparently willing to look past it (the quest for [[china]] trumping all other considerations). The e-mails also feature Chris employing the word "nigger" with [[Chris and race|great enthusiasm]]. Note that Surfshack Tito is actually Hawaiʻian, not a [[niggo]].

Between late August and early September 2010, [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|Tito resurfaced]] in Chris's failed plot to scam him and Clyde Cash. Their e-mails reveal Chris's intentions behind destroying his PS3 and waiting at the mall; he sought a bounty of $9,001 towards his PS3's destruction and very poorly attempted to cheat Tito and Clyde out of the money.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[Surfshack Tito (video)]]
*[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
*[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
*[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]
*[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Tito, Surfshack}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]

Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-02-19T18:11:22Z

Sonijew is back: /* External links */

[[File:Cwcville Helps.png|thumb|"Cwcville Helps", [[February 2012]]]]
'''Alex's Lemonade Stand''' is a charity program that was set up by [[Lego]] in conjunction with their "[[Gal-pals|Friends]]" theme, which is intended for little girls. Chris, being the [[Tomgirl]] and fan of Lego that he is, has pledged to set up a lemonade stand in hopes of raising money for his "father who died of cancer", despite the fact [[Bob]] actually died of heart failure. Although his reasoning for creating the stand is still unclear, he may have thought that the money would go to him so he could buy more [[video games|vidya games]].

{{Quote|I, as a [[Money|charitable]] individual, like helping others, and Children are our future. So, I am participating during the weekend to help the cause to cure cancer in children, so they all can grow into fine, [[Health|healthy adults]].|[[Chris]]|being ironic.}}

== The event ==
According to the event page, entitled "[[Cwcville]] Helps", Chris will be running a lemonade stand for all three days of the event - from 9 a.m. on Friday 6 until 5 p.m. Sunday 10 June 2012, more work than Chris has done since [[Cutco]] ditched him nine years ago. The stand will be set up outside [[Chris's house]]. The initial fundraising goal of U$50 was quickly met after donations from Chris's friends, neighbors and fans, as well as some more sinister figures, such as [[Clyde Cash]] and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].
[[Image:132950942315.png|frame|center|Shit was so cash!]]

Although his charity work seems promising, it may be hindered if Chris is [[28 October 2011|in prison]] by June...

==External links==
*[http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275 Cwcville's page on Alex's Lemonade Stand]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Websites]]

The Eye of Judgment

2012-02-19T18:07:49Z

Sonijew is back:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Eye of Judgment, The}}

[[Image:The-eye-of-judgement.jpg|thumb|It's not a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] rip off.]]

'''''The Eye of Judgment''''' is a [[collectible card game]] developed by [[Sony]] for the [[PS3]] and the only reason [[Chris]] apologized to [[The GAMe PLACe]].

==Tournament==
In his [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|March 18th]] video, Chris mentions he'll be playing in The Eye of Judgment: The Dioskuri Tournament, in which he hopes to attain a spot in the top 100 in order to win 3 promo cards. Considering he is still banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] (which is the only place he can buy the cards from), he is very likely to just have the cards that the game came with, thus limiting his performance in the tournament. We can assume from [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|past competitions]] that Chris expected to win this, although it's unclear now if Chris ever won or if he even participated because Chris hasn't brought up the tournament again.

==Custom cards==
[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|It's great!]]

In [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]], Chris apparently decided [[sweetheart]]s just love it when you confess your love to them by talking about your hobbies, and showed his [[fail|amazing]] custom ''Eye of Judgment'' cards. We now know that when Chris enters epic high fantasy dimensions, [[Monty Python|there are those who call him...]] "Christian C.", the Hero of the [[CWCville]] Empire, "[[JERKS|Add 8 to his attack if his target is MALE]]".

Given that the cards work by being scanned by the [[PSEye]], it's unknown how he expects these things to work. He may have printed new names and descriptions over patterns for existing cards, as he did with ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' cards. There's actually a chance that the cards ''actually work'', as Wikipedia claims that due to the shit-tastic image recognition technology the game uses, even hand-drawn copies of existing cards work (though given Chris's absolute lack of anything resembling talent in the realm of [[Chris and art|hand artery]], this remains quite unlikely). Most likely, they don't work, and he pretends they do.

It is still possible to play the game IRL without the use of the Playstation 3, but even in that case his cards (like all his [[Wall of Originals|custom abominations]]) are horribly unbalanced and [[rainbow|several shades of retarded]].

==See also==
*[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:The Eye of Judgment|''The Eye of Judgment'' Wikipedia article]]

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

PS3

2012-02-19T18:06:32Z

Sonijew is back: /* Fanboyism */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". He wanted to win one in a contest, so he made [[Pixelated PS3|a video]] where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]]. He would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with taxpayer money from his [[monthly tugboat]], using one of his many collected credit cards. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade.

Chris's replacement '''PS3''' is his second life upgrade. Despite ceremoniously [[The MovingFoward videos|"MovingFoward"]] only a few days before, Chris could not live without his life upgrade, and so reportedly wasted yet more of [[America]]ns' tax dollars replacing it. He was earning new trophies with it by the second week of September 2010. May the frivolous [[PSN]] spending and hacking drama continue.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he has even bought upgrades to games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$3,767.54''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's perhaps not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 27 [[January 2012]], Chris has 2,364 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future]] - Episode 1: It's About Time''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|69
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
|''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
|12
|100%
|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|12
|100%
|Of course.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
|Furries galore.
|-
|''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''Sly Minigames''
|8
|100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
|15
|100%
|Grating dialogue on par with the Sonichu comics.
|-
|''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
|14
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
|14
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
|''The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4|Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Not unexpected.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
|11
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain''
| 10
| 100%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently, just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!!!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
| A pretentious wagglefest that only Chris could take seriously. Several scenes of nudity: male and female.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
|35
|77%
|Guitar Hero for the preteen girl demographic.
|-
| ''The Price Is Right''
|11
|76%
| Another real [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] of hi-def gaming
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
|43
|72%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
|7
|71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
|10
|71%
|''NUMBLAST'' is a [[homos|colorful]] Japanese puzzle game.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
|36
|62%
|Sonic Kart couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to Modnation.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
|31
|58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|UNO]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously? Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|360]] version (lots of naked women). Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but fortunately this did not go to plan and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive, but it's more likely that Chris [[Autism|wasn't even listening]] to the things the representative was saying, being more concerned with being able to use his life upgrade again as soon as possible. This dubious series of events was disputed by CWC experts, who suspect that Chris may not have been his [[List of Chris's lies|TRUE and HONEST self]]. However, his PSN account activity suggested he had indeed deleted fucking everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the MovingFoward videos, where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "compact" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

CWCville

2012-02-19T17:59:38Z

Sonijew is back:

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] no elections.|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center>

{{Quote|The city of CWCville, a vibrant community with happy people, [[boyfriend-free girl|cool chicks]] and a [[virgin with rage|frustrated male]]...|Narrator, [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]<ref>[[:File:SchuComic3Page30.jpg]]</ref>}}
'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where he can hide away from the hardships of reality and make all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

==Overview==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|left|The toys that started it all.]]
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville (note their postal code is the same as Chris's birthday and its address is nearly identical to his real address).]]
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|200px|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]

CWCville is the setting of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], a city in [[Virginia]] of which [[Chris]] is Mayor-for-Life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect [[Ego|his bias toward himself]]. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]], Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life.

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the Jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of the anthropomorphic [[Patti-Chan]]. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts, such as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog, is due to the fact that in CWCville, his will is supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world, where he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville, or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11|Mumble #11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade ''Sonichu'' items together on one table in his room. In February 2011, Chris claimed to have finally disassembled the LEGO model, but he insisted that the city "still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]</ref>

The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

However, a map in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] shows CWCville as being near Pallet Town and Giovanni's Gym in Viridian City, featured in the ''[[Pokémon]]'' series and located in Kanto, an area based on the [[Wikipedia:Kantō region|Kantō region]] in Japan. It is also located near [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure#Gameplay|Station Square]], found in Sonic the Hedgehog's world.

Given Chris's humongous ego, it's surprising that he didn't give himself a whole country to begin with, or better yet, a whole fucking planet. He later created the land of [[RuleCWC]], an idiotic Hyrule ripoff, but he actually let someone else rule it.

==Name==
One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym", while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". A sign on the door to his room reads "Christian W. Chandler's Cwickville City Gym". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville, etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh, in which case it would be pronounced "cookville".

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}
[[Image:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|thumb|left|The great <strike>dictator</strike> director on his throne]]
[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]]. Note how Chris needs an [[Ego|arrow pointing to himself]].]]

According to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of [[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|''damnatio memoriae'']], where all records of a traitor (statues, inscriptions, etc.) are erased after his death). It is unknown if Bob died before passing CWCville over to his son, as he has yet to be seen/mentioned in the comic.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections.<ref>[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]]</ref> There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the CWCville Trade Center Building.<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chandler is Mayor-for-Life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections. Contrary to this, he has insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]] (though [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville). The issue is further convoluted when Chris says that voting is strictly for the Board of Director Members,<ref>[[Mailbag 37|Mailbag #37]]</ref> though Chris shows that they still hold no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the Mayor is not obligated to listen to. For example, he does not discuss attacking the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building with them, he just tells them the "game plan" as a ''fait accompli''.

[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor]].]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]

The Mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. the [[Wikipedia:Kim Il Sung|Kim dynasty]] in North Korea, the [[Wikipedia:Pahlavi dynasty|Pahlavi dynasty]] in Iran, the [[Wikipedia:Assad family|Assad dynasty]] in Syria and the [[Wikipedia:Jean-Claude Duvalier|Duvalier]] [[Wikipedia:François Duvalier|dynasty]] in Haiti).

Chris originally planned to hand over the role of Mayor to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister Crystal]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]],<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref> but later decided not to. On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville. The next day, Chris revoked his edict that made MAYS the new Mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]]. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS was still the Mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS died in his mayoral mansion, allegedly due to a cocaine overdose, but the hand of Chandler was suspected. The city was plunged into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris chan Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [[Wikipedia:Doublethink|he was always the ruler]] and that there would be no further elections.

[[File:SchuComic10P78.jpg|thumb|left|The Mayor addresses his people]]

The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random and [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was [[Chris's Big Night Out|rescinded]]. Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to oversee or contest a super-powered official, it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]].<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remained at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered, and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] was murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], Sean, and [[Mao]] are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the Mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.

CWCville also pays for the [[TrollBusters]]' private jet.<ref name="Jackie Chat #3">[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref>

==Economy==
[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|CWCville currency]]
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over: the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the Mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the Mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. [[Tobacco]], unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry.

CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, ten C-Quarters equaling one W-Quarter, indicating that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what "quarter" means]]. The W-Quarter is round and golden in color, with a silver-colored rim and the letter "W" in red in the center, while the C-Quarter is C-shaped and blue, with a silver-colored rim. Fines are levied in U.S. dollars, for unknown reasons: perhaps to add to the foreign currency reserves of the tottering dictatorship.

As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], ten homeless shelters have been set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house a population of 900-1,800 indigents, and come equipped with free cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20|Mailbag #20]]</ref> The Mayor's personal friends, such as [[Sonichu]], live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. He also supplied furniture for [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 21</ref>

Chris claims that the city has "a lot of [[Michael Snyder|jews]] and [[Inos|immigrants]], like new york," and is on the stock exchange.<ref name="Jackie Chat #3"/>

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]

{{CWCverse}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]

Lego

2012-02-19T17:57:23Z

Sonijew is back:

[[Image:118-LegoCWC.jpg|thumb|Chris is just as [[fail]] in his Lego form as in any other.]]

'''Lego'''™ is a brand of plastic building block [[toys]]. They are noted for their durability and ease of use allowing the creation of almost anything imaginable.

[[Chris]] has relied heavily on Lego blocks to put his creations into reality. They were a staple gift during his childhood [[Christmas]], his late teens, and his early twenties. The truth is, there are many AFOLs (Adult Fan Of Lego) around the world; some of them are even in their 40s and have families. In the video game industry, respected designers like [[Metal Gear Solid|Hideo Kojima]] think Lego makes building level prototypes easy. Chris obviously isn't quite there yet.

== Chris Lego Brick creations ==
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|Panoramic vista of [[CWCville]], in all its blocky glory.|thumb]]

* [[Pixelated PS3]] (also made with [[Pixelblocks]])
* Model [[CWCville]]
* [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|''Titanic''-like boat]]
* [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag "Heavy-duty case"] to hold his [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|''Pokémon'']] card decks, acknowledged by Chris as one of his most noteworthy [[inventions]] (also held together with tape).

Chris has also found other uses for his Lego blocks besides simply building stuff. In his [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|AIM chat]] with Vivian Gee, he noted that he uses his Lego figurines to "rehearse" imaginary conversations with women.

== Influences ==
Bionicle, a very successful line of sets based on the adventures of biomechanical beings each gifted with elemental powers, may have (along with ''[[Pokémon]]'') influenced the creation of the [[Chaotic Combo]]. It should be noted, however, that the former came out about four years later than the latter, so ''Pokémon'' likely left their imprint first, especially since it had more elemental types.

Inspired by his [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] have a pair of Lego go-karts [[:File:SchuComic9P35.jpg|in their garage]], the only vehicles they are shown to possess. This raises a number of problems; first, we are expected to believe that a bunch of giant plastic blocks, held together by frictional force alone, without visible seatbelts or a rollover cage, constitutes a road-safe vehicle. Second, each kart can only seat one individual. That's fine and dandy for the two adults, but where does that leave their children? Third, as they lack proper seats and possess a studded surface, they would be uncomfortable to drive in.

== 启蒙 (Enlighten) Bricks Police Station set==
[[Image:Comparisonsmall2.jpg|thumb|One of these things is not like the other...]]
In one of Chris's birthday photos he is seen holding what appears to be a new Lego "6332-1 - Command Post Central".<ref>Link to Peeron page on set [http://www.peeron.com/inv/sets/6332-1 "6332-1 Command Post Central"]</ref> Upon further inspection it is apparent that is merely a rebranded 启蒙 Bricks "POLICE SERIES" set which is almost a direct clone of the original Lego set. Presumably the 启蒙 Bricks logo was altered by a third party and replaced with "LEGO bricks". Chris's parents probably bought it relatively cheap at a discount store that carries knock-off brands, so it's not like they were shopping for a quality present for Chris in the first place. It should be noted that 启蒙 Bricks are much more fragile than Lego and are of generally much poorer quality than Lego sets are, something that probably went unnoticed by Chris.

==Gallery==
<center>
{{collapsible
|Gallery of Lego|<gallery perrow=5>
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Spyrius, fuck yeah! Christian's 14th birthday.
Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[2005]]. Proof of pirated toy, look at the "Brick" font. Note that he is ''23'' in this photo.
Image:0784-LegoPS3-1.JPG|The [[pixelated PS3]] of fail.
Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|Chris and his new Lego in [[1996]].
Image:400-LegKrt1.jpg|If you have no idea how to make your own Lego Go-Cart, Chris has your back.
Image:401-LegKrt2.jpg
Image:0424-CwcvilleBandStand1.jpg|A Lego gift to [[Cole Smithey]], perhaps Chris's first [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|band]]?
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|A better view.
Image:0426-InformationCenter1.jpg|A model of the Information Center from Lego Island.
Image:0427-InformationCenter2.jpg|A rear view of the Information Center.
Image:0428-InformationCenter3.jpg|Further away view of Information Center.
Image:0429-ChristianWTallStack1.jpg|A face expressing either pride or gas.
Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|[[Duck|More than seven inches long!]]
File:CWC0001.jpg
Image:0431-CWCNuculus.jpg
Image:0440-CWCAndHis9Karts.jpg
Image:0438-CWCsMarioKartsX8.jpg
Image:0439-CWCsMarioKartsX9.jpg
Image:0441-MarioKartGPGroup.jpg
Image:0443-9KartCarrier1.jpg
Image:0785-LegoPS3-2.JPG|Moar of the pixelated PS3.
Image:0783-LegoPS3AndGuitar.JPG|Pixelated PS3 and the [[Gitar]].
Image:0111-LegoWalkman1.jpg|An earlier effort: The Lego Walkman.
Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|Bionicle, the door's poster and figures in upper left corner.
Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|TIE Fighters zoom above a part of Lego CWCville.
Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg
Image:0824-EP12-5P6-9.jpg|CWCville: An overbuilt hellhole ruled by a man-child.
Image:0826-EP12-5P6-7.jpg|The money that paid for this could have gone to cancer patients.
Image:0852-Cwcville1.JPG|View over CWCville.
Image:0856-Cwcville5.JPG|Sonichu's house.
Image:0857-Cwcville6.JPG|Sonichu's garage, note the go cart.
Image:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|Chris apparently lives in [[Ruckersville|Rockersville]].
Image:0859-Cwcville8.JPG|God bless CWCville.
Image:0860-Cwcville9.JPG|Lego version of tails.
Image:0862-Cwcville11.JPG|CWCville police.
Image:0863-Cwcville12.JPG|Sonichu and Sonic, apperently.
Image:0864-Cwcville13.JPG|House of fail. Note the Garbled mess on the TV and the "I voted" sticker.
Image:0866-Cwcville15.JPG|Nice lighting, Dumbass.
Image:0868-Cwcville17.JPG|Rosechu and Amy talking about [[Women's rights|Shopping]]
Image:0869-Cwcville18.JPG|View of [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
Image:0870-Cwcville19.JPG|CWCville apparently has a [[Rocky Shoemaker call|bad shark problem]].
Image:0871-Cwcville20.JPG|Welcome to fabulous CWCville!
Image:0872-Cwcville21.JPG|CWCville General Hospital.
Image:0873-Cwcville22.JPG|Chris also has megablocks, Lego's [[Slow in the minds|retarded]] cousin.
Image:0875-Cwcville24.JPG|Chris is apparently a fan of the Power Puff Girls.
Image:0881-Cwcville30.JPG|Truck of fail. Note the Zapbud.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==See also==
[[File:Modnation LegoChrisChan.jpg|thumb|Lego Chris in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

* [[A Sonichu Day]]
* [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]]
* [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
* [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
* [[Pixelblocks]]
* [[PlayingHouse]]

==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category:Hobbies]][[Category:Toys]]