CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Autism Tutorial

2011-02-13T22:19:11Z

Spoonman:

Good to see that Chris has moved on from the petty trivialities that he used to obsess over. Oh wait. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 13:05, 13 February 2011 (PST)

An update on Chris? It must be my birthday. Oh wait. It IS. This made the cake so much sweeter. Some things never change. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 14:19, 13 February 2011 (PST)

Chris and sex

2011-01-04T09:47:19Z

Spoonman: /* Rape */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref>[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref>[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref>[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a [[Obesity|fat, dumpy]] psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|feces]] mixed with [[Axe]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it".<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.{{cite}} Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public,<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> showing that, for Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the [[Wikipedia:Clitoris|clitoris]].

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|fat ass]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
It is possible that Chris only claims to be STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active heterosexuals. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most single men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most boys figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate".
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, it makes him straight.

Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "[[Wikipedia:Asexuality|asexual]]" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as [[homos]]exuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the [[Mailbag]] responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against [[Wikipedia:bestiality|bestiality]], then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. It is heavily implied that Chris masturbates while drawing these pictures.

Chris has also suggested that [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]] from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]] is still debated.<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a [[Wikipedia:Sexually transmitted disease|sexually transmitted disease]].

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris decided to offer himself up as a male escort. He describes himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", and with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[http://www.escorts.com/member/2716193/CarlosChantor "Carlos Chantor" profile on escorts.com]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the [[Megan]] saga all the way to [[PandaHalo]]. Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies. Due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] to commit the act, it is highly unlikely that Chris will ever rape anyone.

Despite this reassurance, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.
{{incomplete}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Talk:100 2357.MOV

2010-11-22T20:55:50Z

Spoonman:

Ohhh Snap i can't wait for the Shit storm [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 12:24, 22 November 2010 (PST)

Should this article include links to other psuedo-ragequit incidents?--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:55, 22 November 2010 (PST)

Talk:ToJackie

2010-10-31T09:44:58Z

Spoonman:

Umm Yeah from 2:10, I was fucking scared for my life after that vid. It's a shame that Chris will never find a "Real" woman that will love him for who he is. Also I'm not transcribing this shit I'm too creeped out [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 10:48, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
: I just transcribed this. You really need to watch the video to see how frightening his face is. Then again, he's HFA, so he's willing on fabricating any emotion necessary to get sex. --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 10:56, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
:: Gahh! I looked! Fucking hell, I looked into the eyes of insanity! *vomits* Fuck, my chicken nuggets! Gahh... Seriusly, this batch almost had me thinking Chris had jumped the shark (that comic #10 remake...zzzzzzZZzzzz...), and then this video at the end. Real horroshow. SO! From this video, we can infer some things: Chris has ''still'' yet to actually physcially meet Jackie, and Chris latest compuslion is transgender in nature. Seriously, what did he think he was gonna acheive with that "feel eachother up" stuff? We can add some lines about Chris and doublestandards on Dyke China, women's rights. Also, Chris is unable of being empathic, and thus, incapable of telling what girls are feeling; Like the other "don't leave me" ect videos, these are usually done after the "heartsweet" (troll) starts tearing into Chris for not doing enough things (and in the case of the one exception (Megan), when she told him to back the fuck off).--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:27, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

Sooooo.....yeah, do we add jackie to the "past" part of the sweethearts template?--[[User:CaseHa|CaseHa]] 17:27, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
:Jackie probably didn't break up with Chris, just perhaps expressed some concerns. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:54, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

Wish we could get a better look at that bible, but from the blur we see, it's safe to say it's probably old, but still pristine condition.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:15, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
:It's not even a goddamn bible. It looks like an old PSX video game box or something.--[[User:Herpderpflerp|Herpderpflerp]] 00:01, 31 October 2010 (PDT)
::I wonder if he actually has any idea how serious swearing on a bible really is. Granted, I know many people who don't take the book seriously, but I think Chris misses the point that doing so constitutes an oath with perceived repercussions for breaking it. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 02:44, 31 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:A Workout

2010-10-26T08:43:14Z

Spoonman: /* An example? */

==An example?==

What strikes me the most about these recent videos is Chris' blatant ignorance of the fact that the things he's doing comes across as really, ''really'' transgenderish and generally not-straight. Would this be worth pointing out in the appropriate articles, like Chris and homosexuality? --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:31, 24 October 2010 (PDT)
* I can't see why not. --[[User:Pr45|Pr45]] 23:42, 24 October 2010 (GMT)
{{Not A Forum}}

seriously guys. there's a whole fucking board for this now. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 17:26, 24 October 2010 (PDT)
*That's why I used the words "would this be worth pointing out in the appropriate articles". --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 01:43, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:A Workout

2010-10-24T19:31:47Z

Spoonman:

Talk:A Workout

2010-10-24T19:31:23Z

Spoonman:

---An example?---

What strikes me the most about these recent videos is Chris' blatant ignorance of the fact that the things he's doing comes across as really, ''really'' transgenderish and generally not-straight. Would this be worth pointing out in the appropriate articles, like Chris and homosexuality? --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:31, 24 October 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Recent Activity.jpg

2010-10-15T23:27:22Z

Spoonman:

Oh GOD.

And I thought him favoriting a [[wiki:Sensitive Pornograph|:Sensitive Pornograph]] video was hilarious. Now he's a [[homo]] [[pedofork]]! --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 22:31, 4 September 2009 (CEST)

Not him... it's Christopher. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 00:23, 5 September 2009 (CEST)

:I only just saw this now. This is friggin' hilarious.

File talk:Haters.jpg

2010-10-15T07:18:11Z

Spoonman: /* I'm curious. */

== I'm curious. ==

Where is this from? And... why are his legs like that?--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:48, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Why are his legs like what? He's not doing the Pee-Pee Dance if that's what you're asking. He's walking. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 12:57, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:The drawing is from Sonichu.... 3 or 5, I believe. The Sarah Hammer wedding story. By this time, his artwork hasn't reached the manga-isque (and slightly improved) artowrk that he achieves in later issues. Though now that I look at it, he's walking like he has just one massive bone for legs and no knees!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 15:06, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
::[http://i56.tinypic.com/2cdwjmq.gif Haters gonna hate.] —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 15:59, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:::I was actually going to say that the way it's coloredm it looks like one leg is trying to move forward while the other is trying to walk to his right, somehow (leastways, this is how it looks to me).--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:18, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
:It should be obvious that Chris is strutting his stuff here. With the look on his face he's trying to look tough too (probably against the haters). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 08:59, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat

2010-10-15T07:10:00Z

Spoonman:

{{Not A Forum}}

Been a while since I done one of these. I'll try to transcribe this shit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:16, 14 October 2010 (PDT)
:Well, I can't understand this. I'm useless as usual! [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:22, 14 October 2010 (PDT)
::Actually, looking it over myself, that's pretty much it, Clyde! Seriously, he needs to stop with the horrible accents.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 22:37, 14 October 2010 (PDT)

== Should there be a link to Chris and Hypocrisy when he starts talking about "the homos" ==

in the xbox is okay video he says that homos are alright

:Given that it's in the same saga and from a rather recent video, I'm of the opinion that it should at least be added to the article.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:10, 15 October 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Haters.jpg

2010-09-09T19:48:20Z

Spoonman: /* I'm curious. */

== I'm curious. ==

Where is this from? And... why are his legs like that?--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:48, 9 September 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Haters.jpg

2010-09-09T19:48:02Z

Spoonman: I'm curious.

== I'm curious. ==

Where is this from? And... why are his legs like that?

Talk:100 2188

2010-05-28T04:08:53Z

Spoonman:

Transcribing this nonsense, I guess... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 05:36, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
:Actually it's "Transcribing DIS BITCH, I guess..." Easy mistake to make.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:24, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
::The keys are like, right next to each other. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 11:37, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
==Name?==
I propose "Rage Against the Internet." [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 06:02, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
:When it doesn't have a name, you're supposed to title it as the date it was posted. This video should be called "27 May 2010". What is so hard about this?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:32, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
::I'll go ahead and do that, if that's okay? --[[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]] 10:24, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
::Oh God how do I rename a page --[[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]] 10:26, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
:::You need to be a mod.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:57, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
:::: Nyoro~n... --[[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]]
::::: Virgin rage against the machine? --[[User:Jellystapler|Jellystapler]] 01:32, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

==I lol'd==

This confirms it for me--Rocky has been drilling the "THE INTERNET IS BAD" dogma into him in the hopes that he'll come to agree with it. But hey, this means Chris has indirectly announced the end of Sonichu(yes we all know that's not true but he doesn't lol).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:41, 27 May 2010 (UTC)

*Perhaps to this marks the end of his young adult social group... ever since his May 8th rant about being alone, he's made a big deal about going out and socializing. This is probably a direct result of him being shunned by the group and thus actively looking for new people to put up with him. While the church was not able to kick him out, it seems they've cut him off socially from anything that their doing. I only hopes that this new "friend quest" leads to further banning's and tard raging's... on another note, he finally admits to being a man-child. I'm curious as to what made him realize this --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 09:56, 27 May 2010 (EST)
::I can't wait to see what this "friend quest" will have in store. Perhaps he will go to a bar, try to hit on a girl, the girl will tell him she has a boyfriend, Chris will still try to hit on her, and her big, muscular boyfriend will show up and kick his ass. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:42, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
If this happens I hope there will be security footage. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
:: "he finally admits to being a man-child"
:: he's used others more or less euphemistical terms in many of his profiles, like "young at heart". i wonder if we could gather enough to make a new cwc-ism--[[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 02:36, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

==Hat==

It hides his baldness. Mention? --[[User:thelieisacake|thelieisacake]] 06:41, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
*HEY FAGGOTS! SHOULD WE MENTION HOW THE HAT IS HIDING HIS LACK OF HAIR? SHIT THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HARD FUCK [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 20:46, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
**HEY FAGGOT! WHY NOT ACTUALLY READ THE ARTICLE AND SEE THAT I ADDED A LINE ABOUT THE HAT EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON? SHIT THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HARD FUCK --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 01:39, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

== Two Things ==

*Two things popped up in my head:

1-How many times does Chris say he's straight?

2-Is the "Trucker" look still remind anyone of the Blue Oyster Bar patrons from the first four Police Academy flicks? --[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 07:21, 27 May 2010 (UTC)

==a challenge?==

As my first troll move, I'm thinking of challenging him to see who has more of a life by having him and I record videos of us and our friends. Good idea? --[[User:AdiosToreador|AdiosToreador]] 12:01, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
:Survey says "Chris almost certainly won't give a shit because you're not trying to steal his identity/'girlfriend.'" [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 12:34, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
::Most definitely. Chris has a narrow attention span when it comes to trolling. It may seem like it's getting old, but unless it's about his copyright or getting China, you're not going to get anywhere. --[[User:Shearod|Shearod]] 14:14, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
: It could be worth a try, and I'm sure it would be loads of fun if - and this is a big if - you could get his attention. Which you probably couldn't, as my esteemed colleagues have just observed. -- [[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 11:55, 27 May 2010 (CEST)

==never meant to be famous?==
Does Chris really think anyone will buy this stupid "I never wanted to be famous" BS? considering he signs his name on everything, he sticks sonichu into every orifice, he act surprised that someone doesn't know him, he can't leave the public's eye for a week. He want to be famous, he just doesn't want the bad strings attached. Chris will have to learn that it's all or nothing, he either is popular with fans and trolls, or he has NOTHING. [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 21:37, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
*... You do realise that there never have been any fans, right? [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:33, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
**Chris doesn't know that, and that's the reason he's saying this. He understands that fans=trolls on some level, only instead of realizing that Sonichu has zero non-troll fans, he thinks that the "trolls" are just impatient fans who have assumed that since Chris writes about his suffering, they have to make Chris suffer in order to get more Sonichu comics.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:42, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
**of course I know he has no actual fans, Chris himself doesn't know that. Also I don't think Chris thinks that all trolls are ex-fans, some trolls are evil 4cent garbage folks that troll for lulz. I think he's playing this "I didn't want to be famous" thing so maybe the trolls will let up, and stop stressing him. "Please don't insult me, I'm just a humble artist" [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 03:58, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

== Taking Bets Now! ==

How long do you think it'll be until Chris returns to the internet, doing what he does best: entertain us trolls? Because let's face it, it's going to happen. --SpaceScreaminJohn 23:49, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
* Probably not even a day. Remember that one time a month or two ago, when he swore he was getting off the Internet? He came back less than 24 hours later, with a rant about the Cleveland Show. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 00:10, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
** A week at most.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:15, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
*** I say before monday.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:58, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
*He's already on his PSN, which is technically considered on the internet since it interconnects many computers. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:49, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
**Are you serious, BreadGod? See, this is what I talk about in my commentary video. Anytime he's not on the internet, he's playing video games! --SpaceScreaminJohn 01:17, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
**I say a week, if his current pattern keeps up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:42, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
***According to his Youtube account his last login was three 5:11 PM EST May 27th. With this I think its safe to say he'll be back in no time. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

== chris lethargic? ==

after seeing this video i started noticing something, chris is getting and talking slower than usual, or was i the only one who noticed this.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:26, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:it is summer, after all. perhaps he, like most bigger mammals, is going into a hibernation mode? --[[User:Jellystapler|Jellystapler]] 01:34, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:: Mammals hibernate in winter. Lrn2biology. [[User:Menth|Menth]] 02:19, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

== Umm... ==

"We're best socializing in real life, talking on the telephone!" ... wait wat --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 04:08, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:IRC (20 January 2009)

2010-04-16T03:04:15Z

Spoonman:

I don't know why I made Cogs dark red. I was running out of colors. and couldn't think of any that seemed analogous to her.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:So in case it's not obvious, the system I'm using here is color code significant people (Chris, people taking a major part of the chat, all trolls who show up often enough to have their own color), Bold all significant names, and gray out lines that aren't actually conversation (Such as people leaving and entering, modes being set, etc). I think it works pretty well, but If anybody has feedback, I'd like to hear it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:21, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::I can't stop re-reading this entire log. It hurts when I breathe afterwards because of all the laughing. I'm a terrible person.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 03:04, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-14T03:45:19Z

Spoonman: /* Illegal or not? */

Well I tried to transcribe the audio. I got 30 seconds down...yeah I'm a lazy fuck. - SEGA Hikaru

Unless someone gets it done sooner, I'll transcribe this in about 8 hours when I get home. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:37, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
: I can get it done presently. BITCH?! [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:39, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
:: Okay, that's transcribed and tagged up. Michael Snyder fucking rules. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:10, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
: It sounds to me like Michael says "He probably will" after Chrissy says he hopes God will forgive him. On the hypocrisy front, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it's a capital offense to upload photos of Chris to the internet, but it's perfectly fine for him to upload surreptitious recordings of other people's private phone calls. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 00:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:: I thought I heard that to. [[User:Sarge|Sarge]] 9:06 P.M., 13 April 2010. (EST)
:: Yep, you're right, good catch. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 01:11, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
== Embracing his racism? ==

So, this year alone we have Chris calling Tito a nigger, and now yells "JEW" at someone IN PUBLIC. Has he finally accepted that he is a racist fuck? How much longer until he comes out as a homo? --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

::*inb4 "nawt a forum!", but he does compare him to the trolls, so he might be under the assumption he can use racial slurs against trolls and troll-like individuals and not be called out as racist.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 00:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::* that's a good observation there, Chris seems to think, that it's ok to call racial slur to trolls and people who have done "wrong" to him, and still be the good guy. Chris clearly as usual, didn't thought much before placing this video up on youtube before uploading it.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:40, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Slightly relevant to the page itself, it's interesting to me that [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|100_2151.MOV]] is still up[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuxOX-r7R50] if they took this one down for Jewry. That might not be the reason they took it down. He ''did'' apparently record it without the informed consent of one of the participants.—[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Incidentally, I really don't think he understands what it means socially to use racial slurs. He might just think it's just disrespectful, like saying "fuck." Like the article implies, he watches South Park and hears Cartman call Kyle "Jew" and Kyle call Cartman "fatass" in the same context. He might not understand the difference between trying to insult someone by calling him "Jew" and calling him "fatass." —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Wallflower-esque?==

I notice that we've added the personal information Chris posted, and I was wondering if we should treat things like the phone number with as much sensitivity as was done in the case of the Wallflower. I understand that he hasn't requested it's removal, but still. Your call. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:17, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
: Like I say, that's not Snyder's personal info, it's the address and number of the Game Place (which is in the yellow pages and on the store's website anyhow). That said, Chris may be committing some crime or another by trying to incite people to harass him. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I think in this case the address and phone number posted are of the GAMe PLACe and not his personal home? I could be wrong though, if it is his personal info (how the fuck did Chris get that?) then yeah, my vote would be to remove it --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:21, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* Google Street View shows the staples store that the Game Place is attached to. We're cool. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 01:42, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I don't know, THe GAMe PLACe's official website lists its phone number as (540) 948-4263. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 02:57, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*I think even if it was Michael Synder's personal contact info, it'd be cool. I don't imagine Michael Synder being in any sort of harm that would be aggravated by posting it here as I imagine any trolls reading it would only send the man flowers and cards as opposed to threats that The Wallflower or someone perceived as a threat to trolling would get. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:36, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Down==

SHIT. Video got pulled. Anyone got a copy for the CWCVille Library?? --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*Damn, I had just gone back to his channel to get it down, but I was too slow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

how much time was this video up anyway? i doubt anyone managed to make a copy of it, the CWCki should make a guide to download Chris's videos, so we have more people keeping back up.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I brought the page up at around 6-7 PM EDT. It went down at about 8:15 that same time. 2-3 hours. That's how fast the video went up and down. Yes, I think for the sake of preserving, a video needs to have a copy of it made if something causes it to go down.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

I still have the page open for his video. Is there anyway I can save it from here?[[User:Nimnoms|Nimnoms]] 00:29, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* You could save the page (If you're using Windows, go to File -> Save Page As, or press CTRL+S)? I don't think you'd be able to rip the video that way, but I think it might still play. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:46, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

And now apparently it's back up. Go figure. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC

I have it, if any of you guys need it. [[User:SwoopDaWoop|SwoopDaWoop]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

The Library hasn't uploaded it yet, so I did. [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OTWXKSZB Here's] a download of it too. (It's MegaUpload, sorry.) --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:32, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Wow, the Clyde Cash the kid video was up for only a few minutes, and yet we couldn't save this one that was up for 2-3 hours. Thanks and grats to MewLime. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 00:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:I've got a copy on my computer just in case we lose our current one.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Congrats to Lime for getting Chris himself linking to Lime's upload of the video on CWCipedia, in spite of the unflattering description.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Have you noticed how fast he now removes his videos? It is clear that Chris acts like this in the hope of escaping the watchful eye of someone. Can we reefer him to another video site?[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:02, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:It's up for me. [[User:Sarge|Sarge]] 9:03 P.M., 12 April, 2010. (EST)
:This one got taken down by Youtube, not Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::Wow, YouTube is trolling Chris! This is something new! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:19, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::Actually it isn't, YouTube banned one of his older accounts because of a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|certain video]], he came back under IBA Chandler and I think we all know what happened next. So yes, in a sense it's not the first time YouTube has trolled him. [[User:Kei|Kei]] 01:27, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==The Sugar Ray song==

Made me fucking lol. I don't know why.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 00:33, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Illegal or not?==

So it appears to me we could have a legal situation on our hands. We need to figure this out. If we do we may have to delete the video although transcriptions might be safe. According to my research though, as long as you are part of the conversation yourself it is perfectly legal to record it. Only thing that he could be busted for is taping the phone call Snyder has. I am not sure. [[User:Ephemeral|Ephemeral]] 00:37, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* Virginia's "wiretap" law allows you to tape a conversation without the other party's consent as long as it is in a public place. The court would probably consider The GAMe PLACe a public area without an expectation of privacy. But, just goes to show how close he is to committing a real crime and playing Kick the Autistic with Bubba --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**GAMe PLACe is a private business, not a public area. [[User:Lolwutermelon|Lolwutermelon]] 02:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
***Which is, of course, why they're able to uphold the ban, and why him being there could technically count as trespassing.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 04:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
***This is something which people should be really careful about. Just because a store is a privately owned enterprise doesn't mean that it's not considered a public space under the law. It's a place the public at large is invited to enter (unless of course you're Chris). Whether or not there's some expectation of privacy is a matter of common law, statute, case law, or whatever. If you don't have a statute or a ruling or something to cite, you shouldn't pontificate on what the law does or doesn't say. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*Of course theres also the little matter of him droppingthe Game Place address and phone number and more or less telling/"suggesting" "his fans" to raid them on his behalf...--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 02:39, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**I think that though it IS illegal and Chris could be in serious trouble for doing this, the police won't put too much effort into stopping him unless it becomes a regular thing. There are bigger crimes than a man child wandering into a game store and asking to be allowed back in, after all. I'm sure if Michael wanted to press charges, he could, but it probably isn't worth the time and effort, especially considering that Chris left the premises without much of a fight.[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 10:35, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
***Generally, you'd be right about there being bigger issues in most places, but some places are so quiet and devoid of crime that even the slightest stir-up is a pretty noticeable thing. I dunno much about the rate of crime over there, but if it's quiet enough and they have the time...--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 03:45, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

==Chris thinks its 2009==

In the intro, he says he was banned almost a year ago in 2008. This means he thinks it is 2009. Or maybe he can't tell time... --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 00:47, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I think he did the same thing in a tape released around this same time last year - thought it was 2008 instead of 2009. Aw, well. In the words of Vivian Gee, HONOR ROLL MY ASS--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:50, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*It's not quite two years and Chris usually isn't one to be super specific by saying something like "a year and ten months ago" or "1.83 years ago" which in any case doesn't matter because spoken English language doesn't lend itself to this sort of expression. So yeah, I don't think it's so much Chris thinking it's 2009, just Chris being imprecise given the nature of colloquial English language.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:40, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==The Wii Incident==
*What is Chris talking about when he mentions the Wii incident? This might be something worth finding out about. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 00:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:* I wondered that myself. The Mimms and Lucas Q&A mentions a time he brought his Wii in to play Brawl, but they don't say anything about Snyder having a problem with it. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:57, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::* It's not so much an incident in that one time Chris wanted to use the big screen TV at the game place but mike wouldn't let him. then mike kicked him out I guess cuz chris was being stupid. This is all Chris remembers [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Note that==
* Chris isn't apologizing at all for his actions to mimms, he's just asking to get back because mimms is being a prick who doesn't lets chris in for no reason, when in reality mimms is just looking out for his business. Should someone contact mimms to get more info about this encounter?[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:11, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't see much in the video that would suggest Mimms is in it, but I'll see if I can contact him if he might know any more about this. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 01:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I got a hold of Mimms over Facebook. I asked him if he knows anything more about this than what Chris recorded. I'll post whatever he knows. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:07, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*I think you're confusing Mimms for Michael. Mimms was a guy who went to the Game Place but he never worked there or any shit. Lucas already told his side of everything down below. Don't bother Mimms abuot this, everything's been told. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* It should also be noted that Rocky now officially has a copy of this video. I wonder how that will go over? Hmm. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 01:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*wait, how do you know that?[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:34, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*/cwc/ some anon sent it to her--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:56, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**If I were rocky, I would delete every E-mail sent to me about Chris. But yeah, she probably watches his videos. It's likely she's seen this by now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:58, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**Rocky may not be the one watching his videos, she may not have been watching during the 2-3 hour interval where this video was up, and she deletes all emails she doesn't recognize.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Mimms' Input==
*Just got a reply from Mimms sharing what he knows.
<blockquote>
"Not really. I mean, what else is there to know? Chris is antisemitic. He walked up to Mike while he was Fixing an RC car. The Audio is pretty much a tell all. Cops didnt make it there in time to fine him or arrest him for trespassing. I guess thats pretty much the extent of the 'unknowns'."
</blockquote>
Apparently the cops were called. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:16, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Chris was there, there's a recording of it. If there's a trespass order against Chris, the cops don't actually have to see him there. [[User:Lolwutermelon|Lolwutermelon]] 02:24, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Let's not get overzealous. We need to know three things
:1. Did Chris, beyond a shadow of a doubt, break Virgina law?
:2. Is this audio the evidence?
:3. If so, how do we get it to the cops?
:*Thank you and have a safe day, peace.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
** According to /cwc/, he was trespassing. That's $2500 or a year with Bubba. He's fucked. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 03:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Mimms should make chris pay the fine or go to jail, its win/win.
:* Mimms and Michael are different people. Also, that was me on /cwc/, I'm waiting to see if someone else will show up to invalidate me. More importantly, is Michael pursuing the case and if so how do we get this audio to him?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:28, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::*No doubt the cops told Mike what he could do, the thing is that we don't know if Mike wants to press charges or not. If he DOES then we can see about either getting this audio sent to Mike via his email or through someone like Mimms. I'd love to see Mike press charges though. Let's get Mimms to keep us updated on what happens (just in case Chris is smart enough to not mention such an event online). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 03:47, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::In [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y the youtube comments] someone claiming to be Mike (TheRcholic) was responding, saying that Chris was reading from a script. Maybe someone could ask Mimms or Mike for confirmation that it was him. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 09:03, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
I wonder if somebody shouldn't tell Mimms about the latest add Chris plastered on CWCipedia(the one where Chris again calls for people to harass Michael and drops his store’s dox with that intent) it might make a difference on whether they decide to press charges or not.[[User:Kei|Kei]] 15:24, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Go on and do it, just make sure to post it here.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:24, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::I haven't really gotten to it seeing as how I'm in class at the moment... and a lazy bitch. I was hoping that one of the other members would be kind enough to let Mimms know about it [[User:Kei|Kei]] 18:46, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Why he did it===
Here's my question. Why, after nearly two years, is Chris just now going to the GAMe PLACe to try and get the ban removed? I'm sure this is something that's been driving him crazy for years but this came out of the blue. Do you think that he tried to get unbanned so he'd have a place to go instead of messing around the Internet for our lulz? It's either that or he really wanted some new trading cards. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 05:16, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Maybe just for the ego trip. If Michael accept Chris back in, it validates Chris as a victim. He pulled the same stunt on [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|Mary Lee Walsh]] previously. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::It's been noted in some articles that it's the only place to pick up some of the things he likes. Being that it is a card/comic/hobby shop, there's probably something of value besides Eye of Judgment cards he wants to have. Also bear in mind that regardless of how sociable (or unsociable) he is, it was one of the few places he could spend at that wasn't his own room where he felt he could do what he usually does (or what he feels he has the "right" to do, regardless of how much of a moron it makes him).--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 08:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::It could also be due to the sweetheart search.This is where he first met Megan wasn't it? And that was the closest he got to china (in his head) during that time. Now that The Wallflower has cut contact and he is being kept away from internet based sweethearts he's reverting to his old haunts. This and dating sites, and he's probably out sitting with a sign as we speak... --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 11:41, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*I'd just be satisfied in finding out ''why he even uploaded this video.'' Forget for a second the reasoning behind wanting to be unbanned from the GAMe PLACe, or the reasoning behind secretly recording this conversation. Why on earth did he upload this video when it features nothing but pure fail on Chris's behalf? What was he hoping to gain from uploading this? Sympathy? That theory kinda goes out the window the moment he yells 'JEW!' at Michael. This really is one of the most bizarre video's from Chris I have ever seen, as I just cannot work out what he was hoping to gain from showing this to the world.

Usually I'd just brush this off as 'lol, Chris', but the motivation behind this particular video seem completely mysterious. - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think it was like this--if Michael had let him back in, Chris would have a reminder that he'd been forgiven and could gloat about it all the time. If not, he'd have "proof" of "discrimination" and do what he's doing now.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:05, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I guess the "proof" of "discrimination" theory makes sense. Again though, any sympathy for Chris's plight is completely negated by the "JEW!" at the end. I wonder if he understands that.
:::lol, what am i saying - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 17:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*Chris is so far gone that he actually listened to the audio of this, and still thinks that he's the party who's been wronged. He believes that he has a right to do whatever he wants, and that Michael is oppressing him. He has a fucking huge self-serving bias and honestly believes that his ostracism was unfair. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 00:46, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

==A little ironic==

I find it really funny that Chris has no qualms about secretly taping a conversation with Snyder & uploading it onto youtube when he had such an issue with someone taking a picture of him with a phone & posting it. Then again, this is Chris- I think him holding himself to the same standards he has for others is one of the signs of the apocalypse. [[User:Meeko|Meeko]] 16:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)meeko

==Trespassing Laws in Virginia==

Virginia Code § 18.2-119 defines the crime of trespassing as follows:

'''If any person without authority of law goes upon or remains upon the lands, buildings or premises of another, or any portion or area thereof, after having been forbidden to do so''', either '''orally''' or in writing, '''by the owner, lessee, custodian or other person lawfully in charge thereof''', or after having been forbidden to do so by a sign or signs posted by such persons or by the holder of any easement or other right-of-way authorized by the instrument creating such interest to post such signs on such lands, structures, premises or portion or area thereof at a place or places where it or they may be reasonably seen, or if any person, whether he is the owner, tenant or otherwise entitled to the use of such land, building or premises, goes upon, or remains upon such land, building or premises after having been prohibited from doing so by a court of competent jurisdiction by an order issued pursuant to §§ 16.1-253, 16.1-253.1, 16.1-253.4, 16.1-278.2 through 16.1-278.6, 16.1-278.8, 16.1-278.14, 16.1-278.15, 16.1-279.1, 19.2-152.8, 19.2-152.9 or § 19.2-152.10 or an ex parte order issued pursuant to § 20-103, and after having been served with such order, '''he shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor'''. This section shall not be construed to affect in any way the provisions of §§ 18.2-132 through 18.2-136.

The issue in many trespassing cases is twofold: '''has proper notice been provided that the person is not welcome in a particular area and exactly what area is the person prohibited from entering'''. The code identifies potentially four different ways in which notice of no trespassing may be accomplished. The four ways are: '''by oral request by a person in authority''', by written request by a person in authority, by a posted sign in an area where it may reasonably be seen, by court order pursuant to specific code sections, even if the order is ex parte. An ex parte order is an order entered by a judge where the person who is the subject of the order is not present at the time the order is entered. For a person to be convicted of trespassing after the entering of an ex parte order, that person must have actually been served with a copy of the order. This means a sheriff or other properly authorized individual, delivered a copy of the order to the person who is the subject of the no trespass provision. '''A written or oral no trespass request can be for both public and private locations. For instance, places of business can request a person not to return to their location.''' Even a city can request that an individual not return to a certain park or parks. However, a private business can’t ban a person from an area that is public access nor can a city ban a person from an area when doing so would interfere with a constitutionally protected right.

Chris is guilty of trespassing by Virginian law. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:13, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Oh, by the way, a class 1 misdemeanor is punishable by 12 months in jail. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:15, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*I checked, it's either a fine not to exceed $2500, at most a year in prison, or both.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:19, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris' link failure ==

I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but after Chris' first video got taken down, he linked to another video with the audio. However, it contains the following message for Chris:

'''''''To Chris: If you see this, I want you to know that I've reuploaded this video not to support you, but to show everyone what a little bigot you are. Michel banned you from "THe GAMe PLACe" not because he's "cold-heated", but because you were being a racist prick to a bunch of black kids. (What did they ever do to you anyway? Beat you at a children's card game?) By slinging around the word "JEW" as an insult you've shown that he was right to ban you. You are not a better person Chris; you never changed at all since 2008, and you never will.

'''I know it's useless to try to talk any sense into you, but I'm saying this anyway.''''''''

Of course, Chris ignored the message when he linked to this video. I didn't know if this was important or not, but I thought I'd pass it by you guys before I post it on the main page.

the video can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_p6bShW97Y

[[User:Chaoshi|Chaoshi]] 20:39, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

:Should've put a comment in the title. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 20:55, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
: Actually, I added that message hours after Chris linked to the video ([[CWCipedia]]'s edit history said he added it in an edit made around 10:30 AM, and I added the annotation after 2). I'm hoping he'll look at the video again for some reason and see it. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 21:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Calling the Police==

Y'think it happened around 4:10? Chris just seems to leave abruptly mid-rant in response to something Michael did.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:32, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T08:06:29Z

Spoonman: /* Why he did it= */

Talk:Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T04:30:32Z

Spoonman: /* Illegal or not? */

Talk:The Hook Cafe

2010-04-07T01:48:53Z

Spoonman:

Hi guys, I think this might be a fake account: http://twitter.com/search?q=-RT%20sonichu+-sonichu1%20-wildsonichu1%20-MaryLeeWalsh1%20-Sandy_Rosechu%20-WildSonichu1#search?q=-RT%20sonichu%20-sonichu1%20-wildsonichu1%20-MaryLeeWalsh1%20-Sandy_Rosechu%20-WildSonichu1 [[User:Godz1lla|Godz1lla]] 18:27, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

I'll set to putting together a summary of this, I guess. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:38, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*The current format sucks (no offense). We need to mirror the content - the last Hook Cafe ad Chris had is forever lost in time, so now we need to mirror this for when this inevitably gets hacked. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:* So you want it all replicated word-for-word? Easily done. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:55, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

*Chris's favorite radio station: http://www.z95.net/ --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:02, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:* And it's...yep, home to the John Tesh show. Weird. So far as I can tell this is like a station for 35-year-old women. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:08, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I think the numerous John Tesh references (at least the times he's popped up in the background of calls) might warrant an article for the guy.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:17, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*I was about to say the exact same thing. Especially since he probably provided the germ for Chris's fixation on the three-date rule. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:18, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh god....
Anyway he's aiming a little high isn't he?
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:38, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*Only if you mean him not accepting anyone: over age 28, overweight, mature, or of any ethnicity other than white. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:41, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*I just noticed the "blacks need not apply part
:* Well of course. Don't you know that being racist towards black people is personal trait that women find attractive? :P This is classic Chris- doing at least one major thing that causes him to fail without him realizing it. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 01:48, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
*"''People say my face is my best feature.''" I don't know what to think. Either Chris isn't aware that acne isn't attractive, or he thinks people won't notice. So yeah, Chris is aiming a little high.
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:45, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Well... at least he's saying 21 instead of 18. That's almost like progress. Almost.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:48, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
** I have to wonder if he found out about the "half your age plus seven" rule that people sometimes use to figure an appropriate age to date. Knowing Chris's tendency to take such things as written in stone rules... so yeah. [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 00:57, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*As long as It keeps him from hitting on High School girls, I'm okay with it. The facebook messages he sent to that one 17 year old still make me shudder.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:54, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*Welp, the little voice in my head told me to sign up in order to troll Chris, so I went for it...unfortunately, I need to have credits in order to establish communication. Should I abort and let a for real person do it instead? [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]
**How much is it gonna set you back?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:10, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
**Considering that a ninety day pass is $40.00USD, and I believe I have seventy bucks in my checking account, I think I should abort. Any thoughts? [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]
UTC)
*** I created a fake account, paid for it, uploaded some bullshit and flirted with Chris. I also sent him an e-mail saying I'd upload a picture and my 'digits' as soon as I got home from school. No replies yet, but without a picture I probably won't get far. Unfortunately, I am stuck in Sydney airport with only an iPhone for Internet so I can't upload one right away. I will attempt to find a net cafe or something- this opportunity is too good to pass up. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:40, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

*Damn it guys, stop trying to be the next bluespike, what is needed is a field agent to go on a date with Chris, and try to get even more info, who knows, it might be the return of the man in the pickle suit.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:39, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I haven't seen anything that brings up bluespike-like trolling. If anything this'll could turn into another Kacey or, if we use a field agent, another Emily. Do we have any willing field agents we could call upon? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 04:55, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

** I live in Australia and I have a pickle, or I totally would. This is the best I can do. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
== So should we do this for his other dating profiles too? ==

I mean, I'm looking at his OkCupid Profile right now. I'm pretty sure it's several years old, but even back then he still checked himself off as looking for casual sex.

Not that he'll ever get any.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:15, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:Now that I think about it, probably the best way to do it would be to have one page titled "Dating sites" where we mirror his various awful dating profiles of fail.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:17, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

*No, I think each individual one should. Redundant but these are primary sources and it's easier to cite an individual profile. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:57, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

I once listed a number under [[Dating]]. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:05, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Religion: None ==

That's unusual. I've said that Chris isn't a "Christian" in any real way before, but I know he self-identifies as one pretty strongly. It's really weird for him to list himself as "None, Christian". I guess it's possible he finally realized that openly Christian women typically aren't seeking casual sex, so this way he shows up on searches for people without religion, but its' still not very Chris-like at all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:00, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

•I noticed that as well. I didn't have any clue why he would do such a thing given his strong Christian identity, but the idea that he wants to show up on the searches of Godless Heathen Babes looking for sexy sweets rings true to me. The Fuck Quest overrides all other concerns, after all. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:07, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

* There are 3 possible explanations. 1) He's a dumbass 2) He i s tired of being called upon, every time he does something that goes against the bible, so he now has an excuse of " nah i don't follow the bible directly" and still say " the homos are going to hell because the bible says so". 3)He doesn't want to be with a woman that's too much into religion anymore, to not get the "abstinence" excuse to not have hankey pankey. Either way, it's because Chris had enough of religion for a while, since it's not helping him right now.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:26, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:*There's no way of knowing until Chris explains it himself, and the best way to do that is to put a huge ad on the CWCipedia accusing Chris of abandoning God and selling his soul to the devil.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:45, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:*When you fill out the profile, there's a drop-down menu of various religion choices, plus an open field to fill in whatever you want if your choice isn't in the menu. Chris picked "None" from the drop-down menu because Methodist isn't one of the options offered, then typed Christian/Methodist in the open field. If he'd left the drop-down alone, it probably wouldn't have displayed anything. So he hasn't abandoned his faith or anything, he just fucked up filling out a web form. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:47, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*Diaken's explination makes the most sense. Which is kind of a shame because it's also the most boring. I don't think my initial "wants to show up on searches for atheist" guess is too far off though.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:55, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Chris hardly even knows what Atheism is, and from what we gather he has as much of an irrational hatred of Atheists as he does with Homosexuals and the like. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 19:57, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Earlier ad ==

Oldfags may recall Chris had an add through here before, which may have been documented somewhere on the ED page if you dig. I doubt anyone archived it though, and I do recall it was legit though it was eventually hacked to make it seem like Chris was gay and how his favorite food was pickles, etc. This should be referenced somewhere though. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, here's where the ad used to be: http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A239898 [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:00, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

File talk:Chrischanpantsu.jpg

2010-03-22T06:28:00Z

Spoonman:

Honestly, I'm shocked he got his leg up that high.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:If he didn't injure his hamstring badly doing that, I'll be surprised. I was confined to a wheelchair for a few months, and with this lard-o's physical capabilities, you CAN'T kick that high if you're that out-of-shape, unless you're prepared to snap the damn thing.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 06:28, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-03-04T09:58:43Z

Spoonman: /* Congestive heart failure */

==To do==
*<strike>Picture of Bob</strike>
**Bob looks like fucking Jigsaw. Scary. [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:34, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's relationship with Bob, in Chris's own words
*add some background to Bob's history. He goes on about himself in the date audio, and he's a pretty interesting guy, like he saw the first plastic Coke bottles shipped off from the assembly line, and he was in the Signal Corps and all sorts of other interesting stuff. We need some of that in here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:06, 26 March 2009 (CET)

(Quick question - whats the date audio? Thanks!)
*...the audio of Chris's date with [[Emily]]. As seen available on the [[The Miscreants]] website. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:31, 17 April 2009 (CEST)

Should I mention he just got sent to the hospital in the health section with congestive heart failure? [[Shawths|Shawths]]

==Great job!==

Seriously, this article is terrific now. I'm surprised how far it's come. Good work to all those involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:11, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

: Still need more on video games and raising Chris. The section on Chris should be the biggest in this article. Will wait for others to finish transcribing because I can't make out Bob's quiet voice in church & Emily. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:24, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

== Bob's birthday ==

Why did everyone think it was Feb. 9th instead of Sept. 4? Does Chris not know when his father's birthday is? [[User:Sauerkraut131|Sauerkraut131]] 04:41, 27 June 2009 (CEST)
*No, it's just hard to tell from the Family Tree poster since it's in microscopic print. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:27, 27 June 2009 (CEST)

==Radio Station Gig==
According to some of the recordings via Yahoo Messenger, didn't Bob worked at a radio station at one time? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 21:01, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==i suck==

Hi, first time editor, long time lurker. I called CWC's house today, hoping to talk to him, but I got Bob instead. Those other people exaggerated about Bob's bravado in their callfail video, Bob isn't much of an opponent if you don't let him get a word in, he just seems to stammer a lot. Of note, he recognized my Texas area code (432) and said he was from Texas, and that he knew some KKK people who he said he would send over to my house if I didn't stop calling. Unfortunately it's lost to time because I can't record from my cellphone and maintain a decent quality. I called him in the morning, when he woke up I honestly thought it was Chris. Anyways, I suck at this shit, I'm gonna just lurk and wtach from now on. I don't have what it takes to be a troll. Thanks for the interesting page, and sorry I don't have any audio to give you guys. [[User:ColossalFail|ColossalFail]] 19:35, 28 November 2009 (CET)

==Hey... ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIoS-gPOA0k]

My friend sent me this video earlier today. It has to do with someone prank calling Bob to get more info out of him involving his current life. Is there anything in it we could possibly use for this article? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 16:41, 20 February 2010 (EST)

==Congestive heart failure==
{{protip|[[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Discussion regarding the accuracy of these tweets are reasonable, but trolling plans in regards have no place on PVCC.}}
Damn. We all knew this was coming eventually, but still.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

: We haven't confirmed it was actually Chris yet--I'm personally at 60-40 Chris, the writing style seems off(the Random Capitalization is unusual) but his posting pattern makes sense. Chris only seems to use Twitter when the CWCipedia has dicks on it and I doubt that he's checked recently.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*The Twitter is his, he's written in the [[CWC Blog]] about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** I don't see it on the CWCipedia updates.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:***It would explain his lack of presence for the last few days.
: Huh, I don't see that tweet on [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu his Twitter account]. Did he delete it, or am I just missing it somehow? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* No, it's there. It starts with "Captain's Log Stardate March 1st"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:13, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** Oh, now I see it. Thanks! *[[slow-in-the-mind]]* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 17:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
I don't want to live in a Cwcville without Bob. If he dies, I'll kill myself.
''

I'm going to kill myself if Bob Chandler dies
I'm going to kill myself if he makes me cry
I'll slit my wrists or I'll cut my throat
but I'll kill myself, I'll kill myself, by bleeding on his doorstep.''

[[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 05:50, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

:My grandma died due to congestive heart failure. It isn't a pretty sight. -PeaceCeapPea

:I just heard the news. Dammit, Bob is awesome, I'm praying he doesn't kick it! PLEASE DON'T DIE, BOB! :'( [[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:57, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Just to be clear, CHF doesn't necessarily mean heart attack/failure/imminent death. What it means is that the heart is weakened and is having trouble pumping enough blood to the rest of the body. A lot of overweight and older people develop CHF and don't kick off immediately because of it, and it is treatable. So Bob may live to chop down more internets yet. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 07:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

He spent 2 tweets discussing how his dad has a serious health issue, then six talking about himself and Sonichu. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I know, right? What the fuck? That's pretty low. I know Chris has [[Mumble 1|implied]] that he doesn't love Bob, but I'd expect more than that. People always joke about Bob dying, but I wouldn't like that at all. He is the only sliver of awesome left in Chris's life. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*The thing is, people think that without Bob, we'd get more interesting results from Chris. Bob kept Chris from going to Redmond. Bob is more or less the reason why Chris won't travel anywhere for a troll. Anyways, I think the concern is that Bob has a long history of heart problems already and given his age, he's taken quite a beating and it wouldn't be unreasonable to suspect that this might do him in. Not that I pray for the death of Bob, mind you, only that this is the rationale of people focusing on Bob's death and why people aren't exactly optimistic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I wouldn't expected anything else from him. What about "I am putting ''Sonichu'' on hold because my father is at the hospital"? That wouldn't have been a novelty. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all do something nice for Lumberjack. Make his life a little easier. We should call in and wish him good health. How much better will he feel knowing that he is more loved than his internet famous son? He'd perk up right away. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* He appreciated [[4 September 2009|Vivian's card]], that's probably a good idea. A picnic hamper perhaps? Some kind of gift package with food and/or nice shit. Chris won't go to that trouble; someone should.- [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:33, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*If someone sets up a paypal, I'd chip in 10 bucks. He's the internet lumberjack, after all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:34, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I agree, that would be cool. [[User:Lynxr|–Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.–]] 19:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*I plan on sending flowers by myself in the next few days. Some kind of "Get Well" bouquet. The man deserves it. He went through a lot and, even if he could had done better with Chris, he deserves a break. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*I've started a /cwc/ thread on this here: http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/24043.html - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 18:54, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I really hope Bob pulls through for Chris's sake. I really hate Chris but I know what it's like to lose one's father, and that's not something I'd wish upon anybody else. --[[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 16:44, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, seriously. I hope Bob gets well soon.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 19:17, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
** Same here. Out of the Chandlers, Bob is easily the most likeable.....which isn't exactly that difficult seeing the rest of the Chandlers, but still.. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 19:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, all the colossal dicks are gone from the Cwcipedia. A mark of respect? --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Sadly, it looks like it. Chris do not deserve any respect. CWCipedia should be a ground for Cock-Parades 24/7/365 [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**Dude, his dad could be fucking ''dying''. I think it's a nice gesture - that's why I mentioned it.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 22:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***I never saw Chris acting with compassion towards someone before, I don't see why we should indulge in Moral-Faggotery because of Bob's issues. As much as I respect the Old Man, He's not the jerk we all love to hate. This is why I strongly believe that the ads must be put back in place. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:25, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Chris's 'stress' probably gets passed onto Bob. When Bob is in stable condition, there's no way Chris will be able to put his needs ahead of his own. He'll be getting all cunty about the trolling that he's receiving and not helping Bob's situaition at all. I say lay off and go with [[User:Edward|Edward's]] idea. Well wishes and get well soon ads for Bob. So what if Chris gets smug. Smug Chris is positive happy Chris, it's the closest he gets to that emotion. We can put up with that while his dad's in hospital, right? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 00:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Seconded. /Scruffy --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Chris wouldn't give a fuck if his father died. He hates him. If he hasn't empaphized with anyone else, then why the father he hates so much? He'll fake sadness, pretend he cares, but he'll still consider fucking Patti the worst loss of his life. And going easy on Chris is no help for Bob, that just means that in possibly his last days with his father he'll be all smug about his victory over the gay ads. If anything they should put up a get well message for Bob using the adspace. I'm going to mention that to the Asperpedia crew next time i'm over there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:42, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***Agreed. Look at the Quote of the Now. He mentions that his dad is in the hospital and would be there for a few days, but he had a LOOOONG stressful day. He wants us to feel sorry for him for the day, not his dad. It would be the greatest wake up call when he does pass away.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:23, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****Chris being selfish? that's old news. If bob dies, it's ovbiously he would become chris's new excuse " i can't do << insert anything>> because my dad died" for a while, he'll forget about him and continue to be the jerk we know. Id bob dies he will be free from the torments of chris, bob has been trough too many shit thanks to Chris, bob deserves to finally rest in peace. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****Actually, what would happen if Bob died? Presumably the family, not just Bob are living off his pension and social security. Even if they own the house completely, however much Barbra is bringing in plus $450 from Chris' board may not be enough to pay all their costs (bills, food, etc). --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:15, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
****** I wouldn't doubt that the accumulative total of both Chris' and Bab's welfare would be enough to sustain them- provided Chris stopped buying junk he never uses and stops eating at McDonald's. But it seems to me from the Twitter alone that Chris doesn't consider this emergency to be significant- it's like he skimmed across the issue as a lead-up to his retarded comic's scheduling, which in turn lead into "Rule 18" (which I can only assume is Chris' mistaken discovery of Rule 34). If he took the situation seriously at all, he'd either be pouring more emotion into it, or be absent altogether. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
******* Well Chris claims to have gotten his pack rat nature from his parents. So there's the possibility that if Bob goes, they'll spend themselves into nothing. --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
-
• One thought- has anyone contacted [[Cole]] yet? I'm in Australia or I would myself. I know Chris doesn't gave a flying fuck and [[Snorlax]] almost certainly doesn't either. He should know I think. --Ronichu
* I think most of the family probably know by now (I would hope so anyway) but Cole has said in the past that he would celebrate when Bob "finally drops". Unless Cole is willing to make peace I say let him stay in the dark on this one, or leave it to the Chandlers to tell him. This is all too soon, I'm not ready for Bob to die yet... I just hope he dies comfortable, not at home and not surrounded by his family. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 01:40, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, when bob dies, i hope he doesn't has to see his failure son's face. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 02:52, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Agreed on letting the Chandlers tell Cole, if for no other reason than he might not believe some random troll from the Internet. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I really need to ask this- where was it picked up that Bob had a 10% chance of survival? If it was in the linked article, I didn't see it.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*I am asking myself the same question; where this came from? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:09, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** It doesn't, I think the person who wrote that must have seen the bit which says that it has an annual mortality rate of 10% and misunderstood it. He statistically has a 90% chance of surviving another year (provided he is suffering from the normal progressive form of the disease). I've changed the article to reflect this. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 11:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::Alright, awesome- I was just beginning to think if that had been true, then half my extended family is pretty damn lucky.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:58, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If Bob does kick it (may he rest in peace if he does), what odds do you give on Chris going to a funny farm in the next 5 years? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Unless if the state of Virginia got no cheaper option. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I try to send flowers to Bob but the FTD website ask for a phone number. Anyone got a clue what Chris's phone is? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

He tells us himself in the opening few seconds of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2vGKa-k2Us this video]. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*How about <s>Chris' credit card number</s> the hospital we should send them to? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's credit card number is 2984 8579 9562 3765. That number is fake by the way in case anyone missed the joke. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:24, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*thanks for the info. I forgot about this video. I rand FTD with a nice card and a Pink Lily Bouquet. Bob will receive them tomorrow.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
***Assuming Snorlax doesn't eat them first. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:08, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Do we know that Bob will get them? Knowing Chris, he'll assume that they are for him and make a youtube video thanking his secret admirer for sending him flowers. I hope that you made sure to put down in bold capitals that its for Bob, and even then its only a slim chance that he'll consider the idea that they're not for him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::*But pink is such a faggy color. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:53, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*There's a possibility that Chris will hijack the bouquet but let's see it that way; it's bloody pink if he does, we got material to doubt his straightness. Not only Bob's name is on the delivery slip but I also send a "Get Well" card mentioning him, the package couldn't be mistaken. FTD will deliver tomorrow. Let's see what it will bring us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I sent Bob a bouquet as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed hearing about his experiences and feel bad that he's stuck with a horrible wife and son. The all the man wants is a chance to discuss the world and listen to his records. At the very least, he deserves to know that there are people that like him out there. --[[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 22:35, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*What color? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:41, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Multi-colored. It's [http://www.teleflora.com/mixed-flowers/bouquet/make-a-wish-167864p.asp?s=t&promotioncode=Shed10&srccode=SH_FR&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=TFWEB164 this one.] [[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 01:00, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*If Chris suffered heart failure, I wouldn't send flowers. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 04:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*I kinda want Bob to die (Don't look at me like i am a monster) because I want the vicarious thrill of watching 14 Branchland Court implode without his common sense. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** Me too. He's pretty much the only person who ever tried to stop a Sweetheart opperation--he could have stopped Julie if Max hadn't been a good liar. Nothing will set the Snorlax off unless you try to lure Chris somewhere, and even then I remind you that we still got him to defy her and go to Ohio. Her general logic for any scenario seems to be "If Chris actually gets a girl, I'll believe it when I see her, otherwise it's his own damn fault for being stupid". This is Chris's logic, minus the part after the comma. Oh, and no Bob means less money, and what's going to make you think Chris starts stealing his tugboat payment from her?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*** If you kinda want Bob to die to make trolling Chris easier you're kinda a far more worthless human being than Chris is. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 23:41, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**** I'll justify myself, then. I will be sad to see Bob die, and I will be happy to see what happens when he's gone.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
***Like I said, I'm no monster, I just wanna see Chris fall apart without Bob's guidance. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 00:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** If Chris has no-one to defend him or motivate him, it won't be a challenge to troll him anymore. I like Bob, and if I get to his age I intend to spend all day everyday swingin' with the music. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 02:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Well, since Barb is too weighed down by her own rolls to do anything, if Bob dies, there will be shit hitting fans in Chris' home real soon, and I don't mean cat shit.. Either way it's going to be funny considering Chris' warped view on death. --[[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]]
**** She's not that fat, not yet anyway.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

I know everyone has realized this by now, but I don't think Chris understands the severity of it all. On his Twitter, it says that Bob came down with a ''case'' of congestive heart failure. The way he's talking about it, it seems that Chris thinks that this is something Bob can overcome like a sick bug or something. That also explains the lack of concern in his two videos - he actually thinks Bob's gonna be alright in a few days, as if some R&R would do good! He doesn't realize that this may very well be the beginning of the end!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*This is why I pity Bob Chandler right now. He's a man with decades of fair work, a patent on his name and the opportunity to be called the veteran of the most intense war the world never saw. Only for this, he will be a better man than myself. Here's the sad part. On the Internets, he will be remembered as the "Joseph" of the "Fail Messiah". The very fact that Chris ignore him in what we might call his last hours on Earth is shocking to me. He really don't deserve this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Point. Bob's death may come as a total and complete surprise to Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*How do we even know Barb would let him know all the details? Wouldn't she consider keeping Chris ignorant to be a small mercy? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 05:56, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Small mercy? From everything I've heard of her, if she kept the details from Chris it would be because it's easier on her to just not tell him. In all honesty if anything's going to happen with this, it should be trying to get Chris to actually spend time with his father. Remember, the closest he's had to a constant in his life dying is his dog, and Optimus Prime, and in Chris' mind both of those came back. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 06:59, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

:I still think we should do something nice for Bob while he's sick. Unlike Chris, Bob is definitely someone I see as with positive qualities along with the negative (which he has plenty of, but don't we all). In light of this, I wanted to have a small hatched engraved with a message "For 'The Internet Lumberjack'. Get well soon! - The Trolls" on the front face and "Keep on swinging!" on the back. I found a place that does engraving along with a hatchet that would be suitable ($100 or so cost all up, probably about the same for postage, not a problem for me since I work), unfortunately I called Australia Post and they said that there were import restrictions on edged weapons into the United States for some reason. Is there anywhere in the US where one could order something similar to the above created and delivered? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:28, 4th of March 2010 (Australian Central Standard Time).

*The cause was an internet fell on him. --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 08:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-03-03T09:03:42Z

Spoonman: /* Congestive heart failure */

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-03-03T00:44:00Z

Spoonman: /* Congestive heart failure */

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-03-03T00:43:46Z

Spoonman: /* Congestive heart failure */