CWCki - User contributions [en]

So Need a Cute Girl

2011-04-21T09:42:41Z

StarryNight:

{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES and NOT TO MOST [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl", 11 [[November 2007]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]]<ref name="ed">http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</ref>}}

'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Chris describes it in an [[ED]] edit as his "[[love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.

==Song==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only
| image = {{#ev:youtube|-51Z5Q8hPbQ}}
| Stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| Maker = Chris
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| previous = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| next = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
}}</center>

=== Lyrics===

[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"'']

Hey! Look at me! 
I'm sitting here sad and lonely! 

Without a fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
[[Noviophobia|"I have a boyfriend!"]] 

And I see the ladies walking 
Along one by one, 
And I never wanna hear, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]! * 
Tell me why 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!"** 

And I have no fire 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
(Tell me why) 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
(Tell me why) 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Why do all of the jerks 
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!) 
You may not notice, 
But I want you to know 
That I am a lonesome heart! 

And I have no fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'', to not, to not 
''Heeeaaar…'' 

Stuck as a virgin with rage! 
So need a cute girl my age! 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
(Tell me why) 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
I ain’t never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Never say it, now!

* ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''

** ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</ref>''

==Music video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video (Featuring Performance of "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend")
| image = {{#ev:youtube|6azwhe8xhVI}}
| Stardate = 20 [[December 2004]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| Other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Song|So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only]]
| next = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance]]
}}</center>

Filmed in December [[2004]] to promote Christian's [[Love Quest]]. Don't miss the rare B-side track, "[[All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"

===Introductory notes===

Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler, age 22 at this time. I'll be 23 on February 24th, [[2005]]. [''clears throat''] Eh, anyway, uh, for over a year, now, I've, uh, been trying to attract an 18-to-22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl]]—18-to-21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been tryin' for over a year to attract a girl—boyfriend-free girl—and I have [[fail]]ed.[Chris sits on the floor] And, you know, when you got—when you have so much—so many failures at this time, [Chris pets his Menchi plushie] you can't help but feel sad, you know? And depressed? And here it is, about [[Christmas#2004|Christmastime]], and, well, all I want for Christmas is a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. And, a'course, uh, during the time, I have, uh, been a—trying, I written a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|few songs]], about my, uh, Love Quest. And, so, for now—for now, I'd like to sing to you my, uh, two a'—two a'my songs. [''clears throat and stands up''] First one I'm gonna sing is one I've, uhh, made up first, wri'en my own lyrics to, into a tune to this song. By the way, [''points to [[Sonichu medallion]] around neck''] this, here, is Sonichu. You can look him up on the web. [''???''] just put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term. Anyway, here's my first song, called "So Need A Cute Girl."

[''Performs songs'']

[[Sigh|[''Chris sighs'']]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope [[Santa]] will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler—by the way, you can call my Chris in public—and... thank you.

==Live performance==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
| image = {{#ev:youtube|wlP5VhuJubE}}
| Stardate = 12 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}, Drunk
| Shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| Other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27s_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
}}</center>

On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.

===Transcript===

(Fervently grabs crotch at the end) LADIES, [[Adult Swim|ALL HANDS ON ME]]. (There are no takers, just laughter)

'''Man:''' (''Bewildered'') Oh ohh OHHH buddy!! Whoa-ho, you got that on film!

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0WtTzvbz9e0}}
| Stardate = 30 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| Subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Typer = Song Cover
| Other Info = Sonichu: The Animated Series response from the real Chris Chandler.
}}</center>
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GDqJ4VuzhnU}}
| Stardate = 25 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AngusHiggens AngusHiggens]
| Subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Type = Song Cover
| Other Info = Said to feature guest backing vocals from [[Liquid Chris]].
}}</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Virgin with Rage]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]|}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-12-24]]

A-U-T-I-S-M

2011-04-21T09:37:50Z

StarryNight:

{{quote| "You know, because a brain condition '''totally''' makes you want to get up and Par-tay on down"| RobotwarsKing, [[Youtube]]}}

"'''A-U-T-I-S-M'''" is the third track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''

The song is most notable as a view into [[Chris]]'s personal definition of [[autism]]: a condition that makes him quiet and has rendered him so especially intelligent and different that he can't make friends. It is strange that he refers to fellow autistics as "us," given the fact that he always tries to disassociate with "[[slow-in-the-minds]]."

==Interpretations==

Students of the [[English language]] have been especially puzzled by the phrase "I look at you all, and I see a [[rainbow]]." Various explanations of this include:

*Chris looks at us all and sees a motley crew of [[homo|homosexuals]].
*It was a mangling of the [[Wikipedia:autistic spectrum|autistic spectrum]].
*There are many different races of his [[trolls|fans]].

But since Chris can't use figurative language (let alone [[Chris and English|plain English]] to save his autistic ass), a more simple and plausible explanation is that Chris is drawing from the rainbow puzzle logo used by some autism charities, and the line is being said by someone looking at Chris, with an abrupt, sudden point of view change. Other examples of his tenuous grasp of symbolism and syntactic constructs comes from the line "friends unseen", which to Chris apparently implies nobody ever sees him with friends (because he has none), but to anybody else implies that his friends are invisible or hallucinations.

==Listen==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|5D3cyyiLpKM}}</center>

===Lyrics===

<poem>
[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "Larger Than Life"'']

Are you ready to party?

[[Yawning Squirtle|I've been high]] and feelin' like an outcast, alright?
But let me tell you: I need some [[Gal-pals|friends]] now, alright?
(’Cause) all of this time I’m livin’ alone!

[[Autism|A-U-T-I-S-M]]: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
And that makes us seem special to you!

I'm lookin' at you all, and I see a [[rainbow]], come on!
You think I'm [[Naitsirhc|different in every way]], come on!
All of the times that I've earned [[honor roll]]!

A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
(And) that makes us seem special to you!

Oooh, oooh! Oooh, oooh!

All of the time that I've been alooo-oooo-ooooo-oooooone.

A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
And that makes us seem special to you!

A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean?
Silence and friends unseen!
A few brains as well: that is autism!
(And) that makes us seem special!
That makes us seem special!
That makes us seem special to you!
</poem>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]

Voicemail greeting

2011-04-21T05:33:09Z

StarryNight:

The '''Voicemail message''' of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is something that many [[trolls]] have experienced when attempting to call Chris. Chris's messages have varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre.

== Examples of Chris' Voicemail Message ==
=== [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] ===
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Barbara Chandler|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- Because I got so much reputation-and at stake-at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, [[Troll]] trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[Minor CWC-isms|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naive|trollin' stupid]], you're [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHJ1gev6x7o Listen here!]

=== 1 March 2011 ===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.

===19 April 2011===
'''Chris:''' Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!]
{{stub}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Talk:Voicemail greeting

2011-04-19T22:08:09Z

StarryNight: /* New message */

If we can, I'd like to document all of Chris's voicemail messages from past and present. There should be recordings of it given all the people who try to prank Chris on YouTube. I encourage anyone who has recording of Chris's voice mail message to leave them here and post them on YouTube. Hell, I'll see if Abuelita can host them. In any case, i think people have a point that this should be document, so let's make it so.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:44, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Rap remix ==

Video of the now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW8FwqlDFzU

:Why would it be, and why are you putting this here? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 16:38, 13 March 2011 (PDT)
:That wasn't "me", but it's pretty much what I would have said anyway. For reference, "This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]]." [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 17:20, 13 March 2011 (PDT)

== New message ==

Looks like Chris has got a new message, let's get it documented.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:57, 18 April 2011 (PDT)

:Here it is and it's pretty lackluster.
:http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 -- [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] 15:06, 19 April 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Voicemail greeting

2011-04-19T22:06:34Z

StarryNight: /* New message */

If we can, I'd like to document all of Chris's voicemail messages from past and present. There should be recordings of it given all the people who try to prank Chris on YouTube. I encourage anyone who has recording of Chris's voice mail message to leave them here and post them on YouTube. Hell, I'll see if Abuelita can host them. In any case, i think people have a point that this should be document, so let's make it so.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:44, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Rap remix ==

Video of the now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW8FwqlDFzU

:Why would it be, and why are you putting this here? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 16:38, 13 March 2011 (PDT)
:That wasn't "me", but it's pretty much what I would have said anyway. For reference, "This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]]." [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 17:20, 13 March 2011 (PDT)

== New message ==

Looks like Chris has got a new message, let's get it documented.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:57, 18 April 2011 (PDT)

++here it is++ Pretty lackluster.
http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 -- [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] 15:06, 19 April 2011 (PDT)

CWC Cums for a Cat

2011-04-09T19:36:27Z

StarryNight:

'''CWC Cums for a Cat''' is an audio recording of a furry phone sex session between [[Chris]] and [[Julie]]. Only Chris's side of the conversation can be heard, but Chris seems to be taking on the persona of a [[Sonichu (species)|sonichu]] while Julie takes on the form of a cat. [[Chandler cats|Lucy]] walks into the room and interrupts the [[mass debating]]. Given how long it took him to finish, he needed all the help he could get.

==Highlights==

*Women apparently derive great pleasure from having their genitals electrocuted.
*Chris has a lactation fetish.
*Chris thinks making nipple-sucking sound effects, inserting [[random-access humor]], and forcing groans like a porn star intensify the mood.
*Just like belching after a meal is considered a compliment in some cultures, belching after sex is what a true [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|Casanova]] does to express appreciation for their partner's efforts.

==Listen==

===Part 1===

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = CWC Cums for a Cat part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|-Gq35fqRk5E}}
| Stardate = 13 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
| previous = [[Mumble 6]]
| next = CWC Cums for a Cat part 2
}} </center>

===Part 2===

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = CWC Cums for a Cat part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|cpj5Hg80f1E}}
| Stardate = 13 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
| previous = CWC Cums for a Cat part 1
| next = [[Mumble 7]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
[[Image:Chris-CatBurp.PNG|200px|thumb|Might say I'm burpin', because uh I quite enjoyed you.]]

''[A television or a radio is playing in the background throughout the recording]''

Hey Julie!

Well, at least you can hear me, that's good.

Uhhh, yuh let me think about that, I'll give you a s-I'll give you a...setting. Uhhh. Mmmm. Okay, you want do you want to 'kay you want to try fantasy. Ummm. How 'bout. All right, I'll do my best uhhh in the fantasy. Umm. Okay yeah.

''[Chris makes two strained noises with his mouth that are supposed to simulate thunderbolt noises]''

PEECHOOM! PEECHOOM! I'll just do a lightning bolt. PEECHOOM!

''[breathing noises]''

All right so how bou-all right so, how bout this at CWCville beach. At sunset. And it's just the two of us. We're lying on a beach towel.

''[Ecstatic]'' Mmmm. All right, we're lookin' into each others eyes. And we feel the romantic emotions and tensions between us. Feels right.

Oh. Yeah. Oooo. I'm starting to get stiff.

Okay. Just we're at the beach, I'm just wearing my...hmmm?

You need someone to make you feel good? Oh. Okay. Yeah. All right, are you uh...so what are you wearing, are you wearing a bikini? Okay, I'm just wearing swim trunks.

Yeah, so you basically grab me, with my swim trunks covering it. Okay, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm reachin' down there and I'm...feeling arou-I'm feeling around down there I'm feeling the edge of your bi-kee-nee. And I'm reach um I reach through the bikini, and I uh start to feel your [[china|pussy]].

Mmmm. ''[breathing]'' Yeah. PEECHOOM! PEECHOOM! I send a few short static shocks up your up your...pussy. Not enough to hurt you too bad, but make it feel good.

Yeah, I'm do-I'm givin' that to you with my right hand with my light, my left hand, I'm uh, movin' your top.

''[in a French accent]'' I'M HUMAN AND NOT A BEAST! After I move your top, I massage your right breast.

''[no longer speaking in an accent]'' Mmm. So bas-so basically I'm massaging your right breast and and my left hand, and I got my right hand in your pussy givin' a few givin' you a few shocks.

Mmm. Well what are you doin' to ME. At this point. As you reach in my swim trunks?

Oh, yeah. So, describe to me how you're rubbin' me there. Or my case are you pullin' it out of me? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. ''[pause]'' Mmmm. ''[pause]'' Wow. ''[pleasing exhale]'' Okay. I make a pounce I make a pounce at you while you're...I make a pounce at you. Wh-we-we're like rolling along the beach a bit.

Oooh. Yeah, I think I'm gonna end up on top this time.

Mmm. So you so you still want to rub my dick, or do you want it inside you?

Oh, yeah, there ya go. And it's in there. I'm using my free hands to...massage your breasts! What are you doin' with your hands?

Oh, yeah. ''[breathing]'' Oh, yeah. Mmm. ''[Chris makes licking or suckling sounds]'' Right, and I'm humping and I'm pushing myself in and out as you kiss my, as you kiss me all over my face.

That's all right, I've got some fur on me too. As long as you don't mind, eh, ''[slyly]'' ''static''.

Right, I'll, I'm going in and out. In and out. I grad-I start slow and then I gradually go a little faster.

Oh yeah. We both feel good. Uhnn. Mmm, yeah. As I push your face I'm pushing myself in and out for and I have to move my face up a bit, 'cause it's feeling good for me. Oh.

Oh! Okay. I'll massage your right breast in my left hand, and I'll suck your n-suck your n-left nipple. Mmmm. ''[Chris makes suckling noises with his mouth]''

And I'm just humpin' you with...with GOOD SPEED. I SUCK YOUR TEAT. Mmm, it's tasty. ''[childlike]'' It verrah tay-tee. Yeah. Mmm.

All right your turn, what do you want do now? All right, you roll me over. I'm still inside you.

Aw, yeah. Oh, yeah. ''[breathing]'' Oh, yeah.

''[Chris's [[Chandler cats|cat Lucy]] wanders into the room]''

''[mumbling]'' Oh, hang on a second. ''[to Lucy]'' Lucy get outta here. Lucy, out. Lucy, out. Go on, shoo. Shoo. ''[background noises indicate Chris is getting the cat out of the room, sits back down]'' Mmm. Yeah, that's.

Oh. Your head can bend down that far. Mmm, which one you lickin' the one that the milk came out of over there? Mmm. Aw, yeah. All right now, caress your sweet breast in my with my left hand. And I'm caressing your le-your left butt cheek with my right hand.

You mean the one I'm massaging now? You mean the one the milk hasn't come out of? Yeah. Yep. ''[Chris makes suckling noises]'' Gulp, mmm. ''[suckling more]'' Oh, yeah that feels good. MMM. Mmm. ''[continues to make suckling noises]'' Mmm. Mmm. Ooh. Oh, yeah.

You're gonna get MY milk, kitty-cat!

''[Chris moans repeatedly for almost a minute]'' Oh Julie. Oh. OOOHH, JULIE JULIE! JULIE! ''[Chris continues to moan, the sound of him fapping into a [[Fapcup|plastic cup]] can now be heard]''

Are you about there? Are you about the-oh.

''[Thirty seconds of ardor and grunting, before Chris says in a very strained, painful manner,]'' It's coming, it's coming. ''[Another twenty seconds of heavy breathing, frenzied fapping, moaning]''

AAAGLGARAGH, oh yeah! ''[twenty seconds more of strained groaning and grunting]''

I'll lean up to lick it. Ohhh, I'm gettin' there myself.

''[Twenty seconds of heavy breathing and fapping, Chris sounds like he says, "I'm like you doin'" but the audio quality is poor]''

I'm not done yet.

''[more strained grunting]'' Oh-ooo-oh-ooo-oh-ooo-ohhhhh.

Ut, here I come, here it comes, LLLLLLLLAAAAAAGGGHHH! AAAAAGH! ''[Chris very loudly and obnoxiously moans and pants for twenty seconds]''

Yep. You got a lot. Mmm. Aaah.

After you get here and you can.

Mmm. Go ahead and lick me clean. ''[Windows beep]''

Mmm. Aahh. Mmm. That was good. Yeah. Mmm. Maybe. Uhh. No, I s-sure I would have my [[Monty Python|British comedy]] tomorrow. Maybe Sunday. It's all right though. At least you'll have me again. Excuse me a moment.

''[sound of Chris getting up, followed by water running, sound of Chris returning and knocking over a bunch of stuff]'' All right, mmm. ''[sound of Chris [[Recycling|taking a huge drink]], refreshed gasp, licks lips, and belches]''

'Scuse me. Might say I'm burpin', because uh I quite enjoyed you. And your juices. Mmm. Mmm. Aaah. That sounds good. Hang on, I'm going to hang up here. ''[audio ends]''

== External links ==

[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Christmas

2010-12-26T03:03:57Z

StarryNight: removed unnecessary editorialization

[[Image:MerryCWCmas.jpg|right|thumb|Merry C-Mas, to all the [[Trolls]] and [[JERKS]] and [[Homos]] and [[Niggos]] and [[Jerkops]] out there!]]
'''Christmas''', or as [[Chris]] sometimes [[CWC-isms|retardedly calls it]], '''C-Mas''', is our hero's favorite of all holidays. He always celebrates it at [[14 Branchland Court|home]] with his family, and often mentions it in his fail-tastic comics and videos.

==Christmas in the Chandler Family==
[[Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|right|thumb|Bob and little Chris remembering Jesus.]]
{{quote|We celebrate like normal; a decorated tree, get-together, remembering [[Jesus]] and all.|ChrisChanSonichu, [[Mailbag 2#Holidays with the Chandlers|Mailbag 2]].}}

Despite Chris's insistence that Christmas is a time for family, [[Cole Smithey]], an atheist, does not take part in the traditional Chandler family celebrations, instead staying with his wife's family in California.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

The Chandlers keep a Christmas tree and decorations in their [[kitchen]] year-round because they are too lazy to change it.

[[File:129254057541.jpg|right|thumb|The stockings were hung from the chimney with care]]

{{Incomplete}}

==Santa Claus'''''e''''' [sic]==
[[Image:ChrisSanta.jpg|right|thumb|Chris wishes he were as much of a man as Mr. "Clause" is.]]
{{quote|[2008-12-15 07::03:20] EXKeine: Christmas is coming up, so... do you believe in Santa Claus? [2008-12-15 07::03:40] ChrisChanSonichu: yep.|Chris on Santa Clause [sic], [[IRC (15 December 2008)]]}}
{{quote|It’s been over a week since my [[PVCC|SUSPENSION]]; I am [[Stress|DEPRESSED]], [[Love Quest|LONELY]], SAD and BORED! I have [[Attraction Location|nowhere to go]] to attract a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free woman]]. I’ll be writing to Santa Clause [sic] this year, hoping that will bring me one. (8(|[[CWC's Diary]] for September 26, 2004, Chris acting like the 22-year-old grown-up man he is.}}
{{quote|Or for—since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister—yo' Misses Claus. I have a... good ole heat, 'cuz I took... a bit o'... [[Chris and sex|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, ho-OH!|Chris RPing as The Man, [[iPods Down and Listen Up]]}}
{{quote|I did not say that I was taking Viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that.|Chris, [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag 20]], on Kris Kringle's erectile dysfunction.}}

"Santa Clause" [[Chris and English|[sic]]] (not to be confused with [[wikipedia:The Santa Clause|the movie that takes this spelling]]) is a being associated with Christmas, whom many children believe in, especially in Western countries. However, most of them actually stop believing in Santa around the age of 4 (according to surveys), most often when they find out it was actually [[Bob Chandler|their father]] with a [[Rollin' and Trollin'|fake beard]].

Chris, being the immature manchild he is, claims that he still believes in "Santa Clause" [sic], despite being technically 28 years old. He even put Santa's name on his [[JERKS#The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate|List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate]], which may imply that he: a) believes "Santa Clause" [sic] is real, b) believes Santa is a manly male man capable of landing himself a girlfriend (see also the [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag quote]] above). Also worth of note is the fact that Chris chose to put Santa's name on the list before [[God]] and [[Jesus]]... because, come on, these two [[JERKS]] never brought him even the tiniest presents!

Of course, all this doesn't necessarily mean that Chris actually ''does'' believe in Santa. Chris probably maintains this line because he ''wants'' to believe it and maintain memories of the happy Christmases of his childhood. For Chris, who still plays with da [[Lego]]s, professing a belief in Santa is "cute" and shows that he is "young at heart", one of his favorite traits.

In a 2010 [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|email exchange]] with a woman, Chris stated that he [[Honor roll|learned]] Santa wasn't real around age 15 or 16, but finally "gave up on him" at 24 after he failed to bring him a girlfriend for the third year in a row.

==Presents Chris gives, wishes for, and receives==
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '95]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '96]]
{{quote|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is [[Obesity|a good suggestion]].|[[Mailbag 6#For the man who has everything|Mailbag_6]], on what he planned to give his parents for Christmas, 2009.}}

{{Incomplete}}

==Christmas-related songs and merch==

{{Incomplete}}

Chris also got the name of his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]] from singing a 1950s Christmas song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, which actually [[Autism|says a lot about Chris]].

He also seems to have an affinity for the song "Deck the Halls", as he raged like an idiot because the word [[homos|gay]] should only be used in context of "happy", as in the song.

==Other confessions==

Being the totally sensitive and tolerant person he is, Chris in his [[Sonichu]] Christmas special (the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|text]] and [[Sonichu 11|comic]] versions) mentions the ways [[CWCville]] citizens of different faiths (that is, "Jewish folk", Buddhists, possibly [[Niggos|Black people]], and "a few humbuggers") celebrate their own wacky versions of Christmas.

===Haunaka/Chaunaka/Konica/Chanukkah [sic/sic/sic/sic]===

{{quote|Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera.|[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Act 1}}

"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Haunaka]]"/"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Chaunaka]]"/"[[Holiday Greetings|Konica]]"/"[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|Chanukkah]]"/whatever, is a holiday [[CWCville]] "Jewish folk" celebrate while most other citizens celebrate Christmas. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" [sic] Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah, called a "Hanukkiah", has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when [[Sonichu]]'s daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one, because Jews love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! That Cerah couldn't choose a more obvious Hanukkah symbol (such as a Menorah or a dreidel) over a ''generic candle'' shows that Cerah has extremely poor knowledge of even the most basic of Jewish traditions known in the Gentile world. That, and she's an ignorant retard like Grandpa.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating ''fried'' foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you - he just wanted to make sure that the cookie was hypoallergenic. Because Jews are Melvins who have many allergies, you see.

In [[IRC (22 December 2008)]] Chris listed "Haunaka" and "Chaunaka" as two different holidays, probably belonging to different religions. In his [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]], he does nearly the same thing, saying "happy Hanukkah, Chanukkah, all the other holidays to everybody of other religions".

===Jolly Buddah [sic]===

{{quote|Christmas Trees are abound most everywhere: in the homes of the townfolk, [[CWCville Mall|in the stores]], [[CWCville Mayoral Office|in the offices]], and the biggest one in the center of [[McIntire Park|CWC-Central Park]]. Some have Menorah Candles, or even a Jolly Buddah [sic].|[[Sonichu 11|A Sonichu Christmas]] (the comic version)}}
{{quote|All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such.|[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]] (the text version)}}

From what we know, Buddhism is one of the religions Chris tolerates, and so he sometimes mentions it as a display of his "religious sensitivity". However, he probably doesn't know jack shit about Buddhism, and assumes that since Buddhists are all "good-hearted believers", they undoubtedly should celebrate Christmas in some way! So, in [[CWCville]], Buddhists celebrate their Buddhist Christmas by going to their Buddhist churches on starting December 12, and having a "Jolly Buddah" instead of a Christmas Tree.

By coincidence, Christmas is actually a popular holiday in some primarily Buddhist countries (such as [[anime|Japan]]). However, it's rare for celebrators to give the time special religious significance specific to their religion. Similar to how Halloween is celebrated in America based solely on the customs with practically no emphasis on the religious practices that started the holiday, so too do many Buddhists enjoy Christmas just as an excuse to put up lights and give each other gifts.

===Kawanza [sic]===

Little is known of what Chris thinks about [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|"Kawanza"]] [sic] and the related rituals, except that he [[IRC (22 December 2008)|once]] congratulated his [[trolls]] with this holiday (among others), misspelling its name in the process.

===Other faiths===

Chris doesn't say (or care, probably), what Muslims, Orthodox Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Baha'is or Atheists do in CWCville on Christmas Day. Probably they're the "few humbuggers" whom Chris derides for not celebrating C-mas/Haunaka/Kawanza/whatever those wacky Buddhists celebrate.

==Notable Christmases in Chris's life==

===1989 or 1992===
[[Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|GodBear, directing his Chorus of AngelBears]]

On Christmas Day, 1992 (other sources claim it happened in [[1989]]), Chris got probably the most dumbfounding present in his whole life, and from [[Christopher's name change|GodBear]] himself, no less. While strolling with [[Bob Chandler|his father]] through the Regency Square Mall, Christopher, as he was called at the time, encountered a band of bears playing some Christmas songs. The boy chatted the director bear (called Leonard Bearstein) up, and being half-deaf from the cacophonic (read: shit) music they played, the stupid bear mistakenly named him "[[Christopher's name change|Christian]]".

The little autistic saw that as an "OMG sign from God!!!" and a few months later [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|got his name legally changed to "Christian"]]. And thus, as some researchers tend to think, has the epic saga of fail [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|begun]].

===[[2004]]===

{{quote|[[Stress sigh|[Chris sighs] ]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope Santa will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler — by the way, you can [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|call my Chris]] in public—and... thank you.|Emo Chris, [[So Need a Cute Girl]].}}
{{quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh. I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.|Chris, the poetic [[geinus]].}}

This Christmas, Chris expected to get: a) a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] from "Santa Clause" [sic], b) an [[Chris and remorse|apology]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Not surprisingly, he didn't get either, and became [[Stress|depressed]].

Earlier in December, he dedicated two different songs to the first of these two wishes: [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]] (written on December 4) and [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]] (recorded on Christmas 20). The same day as the latter, Chris also recorded another song, the famous [[So Need a Cute Girl]], which was probably dedicated to the same thing.

If "Santa Clause" [sic] really exists, this proves that he's a major [[JERK]], or that he doesn't tie up girls and leave them under trees as gifts for horny manchildren.

===[[2005]]===
[[Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas 2k5]]
{{quote|Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.|[[Megan]] on 20 December 2005, trying to be diplomatic with Chris.}}

Chris was probably [[stress]]ed as hell, because just a few days before his [[gal-pal]] and attempted [[sweetheart]] [[Megan Schroeder]] told him she doesn't like him [[Rape|trying to kiss her]], and that she [[Homo|doesn't want to have a boyfriend at all]]. Just to add insult to injury, "Santa Clause" [sic] brought him a shitty pirate ripoff instead of a genuine Lego set that year. No boyfriend-free girl under the tree this year either.

<gallery>
Image:077-StarOnTree.jpg
Image:078-StarFront.jpg
Image:079-StarBack.jpg
</gallery>

===[[2007]]===
[[Image:Fakeout-makeout2.jpg|right|thumb|Chris and Kimmi.]]

On December 26, Chris bought himself [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|a pretty girlfriend]] called [[Kimmi]], who would become a rival to his longtime [[Sex toys|artificial heartsweet]] [[Officer Nasty]], on [[Adamandeve.com]]. Probably because "Santa Clause" [sic] didn't bring him one this year, either.

To compliment the sex doll, Chris also bought a "Vintage XXX Cartoons DVD/CD", and received "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and "Playboy Magazine Digital Edition DVD/CD" for free. The fact that Chris specifically sought something as bizarre as vintage porn cartoons to [[mass debating|fap]] his crooked [[duck]] to, for some reason, sits fine with all the other weird aspects of his twisted personality.

However, being unsatisfied with fantasizing about naked women drawn in the 1960s, Chris went to Adamandeve.com again soon after New Year's Day, and purchased some more XXX-rated Holiday Gifts for himself. These include: a "2008 Adam & Eve Calendar", a "[[Card games|Romance Roulette Card Game]]" (which Chris probably plays as [[Virgin with Rage|solitaire]]), and, the strangest one of the bunch, a "Carmen Boob Mousepad", whatever that is. He also got some free items as well, namely a "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and, most notably, the infamous "Anal Love Beads", which would become a popular theme for [[trolling]] Chris in the upcoming year.

===[[2008]]===

Chris got "a couple of [[DVD]]s, Bee Movie on Blu-Ray, [[Obesity|assorted chocolates]] and [[Bob Walks In|a calming family moment]]" ([[IRC (28 December 2008)]]); in Chris's words, it was "simple, nothing extravagant". Bob outdid himself with a gift to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] overshadowing Sonichu in over-the-top symbolism. "He gave her an arranged box of ornaments, with tags attached to them; each one representing her blessings; three angels, me, dad and my half-bro, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]. Ones for [[Ruckersville]], Red Oak, [[Chandler Cats|our cats]], and one for her." (Chris, on [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]).

===[[2009]]===

Chris took the time to send [[Kill De Jack|warm wishes]] to a [[Jack Thaddeus|dear friend]]. He also received chocolate and [[video games]] from [[Mailbag 24|his family]]. For the rest, we'll see soon enough. Merry Christmas, everyone!

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*"[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
*"[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]"
*[[Holiday Greetings]]
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]"
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]
*[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|A Very ''Asperchu'' Christmas]]
[[Category:Events]]

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-12-24T05:08:50Z

StarryNight:

[[File:128469211411.jpg|thumb|The greatest show on earth]]

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]] 16 [[September 2010]]. At [[Jackie's]] direction, Chris dons a turban and paints his face in black and red to resemble [http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Popo Mr. Popo] from ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]'' and [[Chris and Music|"sings"]] his version of [[Wikipedia:Mmm_Mmm_Mmm_Mmm|"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"]] by [[Wikipedia:Crash_Test_Dummies|Crash Test Dummies]].

Note that "sings" is in quotes because Chris's grating mumblings make even his earlier [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|ill-fated music career]] sound like the work of a classically-trained soprano by comparison. Likely unaware of the similarity of his makeup to [[Niggos|blackface]], he rounds out the performance with an impromptu [[Wikipedia:Minstrel show|minstrel song]] adapted from the Spike Lee movie ''[[Wikipedia:Bamboozled|Bamboozled]]'', his [[muscle bra|masculine bosoms]] flailing wildly with each gyration.

It is also worth noting that the original song's lyrics (which tell of two children who carry deformities, but glad they are not in a "[[Autism|Holy Roller]]"-style church like the third child of the song) denote either Chris's inability of getting the message of (even [[Kacey|blatant]] and [[BlueSpike|thinly veiled]]) [[Family_guy#Influence_on_Chris|satire]], his desperation in his [[Love Quest]], or both. Instead, he [[Asperger syndrome|uses the limelight]] [[Chris and his ego|for himself]], while also implying that Jackie too has some deformity that is forgivable by the Nietzschean (or Nietzsch-Chan) superman that is Chris.

Showing his usual amount of knowledge regarding other [[Chris and Religion|religions]], Chris makes reference to Hinduism despite the fact that genies (or djinni) are an Arabic concept. As if racially insensitive behaviour is not enough, Chris manages to add some religious ignorance to the mix, achieving precisely the opposite of what he intended by informing any Hindus and black people who may be watching that he meant no offense.

At this point, Jackie's reaction is unknown, but it's expected that [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] will soon be shot to pieces by [[niggos|G's]] from da hood.

==Video==

{{quotebox|Attention, I am portraying the Dragonball Character, Mr. Popo.

I am not, [[:File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|nor would ever]], making fun of any [[black people]] living, [[Chris and Death|dead]] or fiction. Nor am I making fun of the Hindu people. Both of which, Blacks and Hindus, are good people too.

Again, this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus. It is only a video for my girlfriend to cosplay as Mr. Popo from the Dragonball Television Series.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song For Jackie
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rgNuO8QXIZQ}}
| stardate = 16 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Racism|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[XBox is OK.MOV]]
| next = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:jolsonshock.jpg|thumb|left|Al Jolson is appalled by Chris's faggotry]]
[[File:Leadbelly.jpg|thumb|Leadbelly's reaction to this video]]
[[File:PopoWTF.jpg|thumb|Mr. Popo is not amused]]

[''fake sounding accent''] 'Ello. I am [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] wearing genie, [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]. [''nods and folds his arms, then turns on audio''] I tell you a story. It is a good story. You will enjoy story.

[''plays "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"'']

[''starts "singing" ''] Once there was this boy [''flashes manboobs''] who was born with some autism and yet made a few friends, but after his [[high school]] years he...[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|lost]]...his [[gal pals|friends]] and was [[Stress|troll tortured]]. By [[Trolls|bullies]] who were [[Chris and his Ego|jealous of his material things]] [wiggles his head from side to side and waggles his finger] Nonononononono. [''hums'']

Once there was this girl who continued to have friends long after high school. She could have had her pick of men. But then she found the wayward lost boy. They matched up very well, [[:File: SchuComic10P09.jpg|heavenly matched]]...
Loooove, it was so- [''hums'']

And both [''starts to say 'boy', turns it into 'girl'''] [[Gay|boirl]] and boy were glad when they both saw each other's eyes. When they met up! They both thought of each other. Very often! They had enjoyed each other's company sweetly. Oh, roller coaster ecstasy. [[Chris and Reality|In fantasy]], their days were simple and they looked to be married and have their own [[Reginald Chandler|boy]]. And [[Crystal|girl]]. It's true! Wait for [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|marriage invitations]]!

[''Suddenly animated, imitating fiddle player''] And there ain't no Saiyans on de [[Gitar of Fail|fiddle]], no Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

[''begins to dance what is most likely a continuation of whatever Minstrel Song he saw; a mockery of African aboriginal dancing'']
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

And there ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

[''spoken''] Happy [[hanky-panky|loving]]! Between me and Jackie! I love you [[sweetheart]]. Boing!

==See also==
* [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
* [[A CWC Audition]]
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|For J-R's Eyes Only]]
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[XBox is OK.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2010-11-27T21:47:37Z

StarryNight: That's part of the song, not a phone ringing. You stupid faggot.

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Music stolen from the much more successful song "Macarena" and title ripped off from the similarly popular "Mellow Yellow". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|site]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]], where Chris lists "Yellow is a Mellow Color" in his "Random Ramblings" to demonstrate his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous (to [[Chris|Whom]], God only knows).

==The Song==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|dh34cJM63Fg}}</center>

==Lyrics==

[''sung over Los del Río's "Macarena"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 

Feeling the condensation 
Living in my nation 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color 

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
Take a chill pill and dance 
Yellow is a mellow color 

[Indecipherable line ending in "mellow"] 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap! 

This little monkey he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Duck|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! mellow color 

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2010-11-27T17:38:40Z

StarryNight:

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Music stolen from the much more successful song "Macarena" and title ripped off from the similarly popular "Mellow Yellow". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|site]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]], where Chris lists "Yellow is a Mellow Color" in his "Random Ramblings" to demonstrate his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous (to [[Chris|Whom]], God only knows).

==The Song==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|dh34cJM63Fg}}</center>

==Lyrics==

[''sung over Los del Río's "Macarena"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 

Feeling the condensation 
Living in my nation 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color 

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
Take a chill pill and dance 
Yellow is a mellow color 

[Indecipherable line ending in "mellow"] 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap! 

This little monkey he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Duck|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! mellow color *phone rings again*

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! mellow color 

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes it is it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! mellow color 

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

Ghostbusters (video)

2010-11-27T17:37:13Z

StarryNight:

'''Ghostbusters''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris plays ''The Real Ghostbusters'' theme on ''Rock Band 2'', tries to sing, but not before doing some howling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Ghostbusters
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Do5F3JsfPms}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[HairDifference#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
| next = [[ToJackie]]
}}

===Transcript===

Here's a fun, spooky dedication. A fun, spooky dedication. Happy ''[howls]''-oleen. -oween.

GHOSTBUSTERS

If there's [[Chris|something strange]] 
in your [[Ruckersville|neighborhood]] 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

If there's something weird 
and it don't look good 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

I ain't afraid of no [[Patti|ghosts]] 
I ain't afraid of no ghosts 

If you're seeing things 
running through your head 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

An invisible man 
sleeping in your bed 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

I ain't afraid of no ghosts 

Hey! I got one for ya!

You seein things 
in your head 
Who ya gonna call? 
[[Random Access Humor|Mr. Fred!]] 
he [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|wets the bed!]] 
Whatcha gonna do 
when Mr Fred 
wets the bed? 
EEEEWWWWW! 
He wet the dang bed! 

Oh and also. 
You gotta ghost? 
Who do you really call? 
You call another ghost! 
You call another ghost 
to get rid of the first ghost! 
I mean, if it's a boy ghost 
you call a girl ghost 
or vise versa. 

Who ya gonna call, though? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

If you've had dose of 
freaky ghost 
Ya better call 
ANOTHER GHOST 
or Mr. Fred 
They're better than Ghostbusters! 
of the Jake, Eddie, Tracy Clan 
They're the real Ghostbusters. 

[[Mass debating|Bustin']] makes me feel good! 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

If not them 
The GHOSTBUSTERS 

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]|nextlink=[[ToJackie]]}}

{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Wigwam

2010-10-26T02:00:23Z

StarryNight:

'''Wigwam''' is a video where Chris pretends to smoke [[tobacky]], nearly four years after [[Chris and hypocrisy|he proclaimed that he would shoot every last ounce of it to the Moon.]] Looks like he [[Fail|failed]] to [[Dreams#The acid factory dream|heed Godbear's warning]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Wigwam
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XvgT2J6WgvE}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = [[Image:Redblueshirt.png]] The Two-Face
| previous = [[PlayingHouse]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
}}

== Transcription ==
[[File:CWC_Pipe_Stem_with_black_ink.jpg|thumb|right|100px|A five-pack of CWC-brand tobacky.]]
[''Chris makes weird noises, takes a puff from a ballpoint pen attached to a small sack, makes more weird noises, then hands it to the viewer.'']

Here, smoke um peace pipe, find inner peace!
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[PlayingHouse]]|nextlink=[[DayOut]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

WeighIn

2010-10-26T01:57:00Z

StarryNight: A camera doesn't weigh "a few pounds"

[[File:Towelrack.jpg|thumb|right|One explanation why Chris weighs less than 220lbs.]]

'''WeighIn''' is a video, uploaded 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris, to the surprise of us all, steps on a scale to weigh himself. He gives a weight of 216 lb (15 st 6 lb / 98 kg). This is quite shocking since there are many speculations to how much Chris weighs. For the longest time, many people have speculated that Chris was so fat…

* …that, when he fell, nobody laughed — but the ground was cracking up.
* …that the only "90210" Chris watches is on a bathroom scale.

It is also revealed that Chris is wearing tape wrapped around the bridge of his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The reason behind this is unknown. Some people say it's because he got [[Kick the Autistic|punched in the face]]. One can only hope.

{{Infobox/video
| name = WeighIn
| video = {{#ev:youtube|og-3s0n91Ys}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| shirt = {{Twoface|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#At_Least_My_Face_Is_Not_F3c7ing_Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange ]]
| next = [[FullHouse]]
}}

'''Transcript'''

Here is the official weigh-in on Sunday, September twenty- [[October 2010|October 24th 2010]].

[''Aims camera, jerkily, at scale readout.'']

If I can stay still long enough.

Hmmm.

Anyway it says 216.

[''Speaks into the camera again. His [[Glasses|glasses]] are now on his face and the bridge appears to be wrapped in tape.'']

Currently I'm 216 pounds.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DayOut]]|nextlink=[[FullHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2267

2010-10-09T08:18:46Z

StarryNight:

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video Chris decides to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by making an overblown impression of him and imitating his fake tan by dressing up in [[black]]face, bizarrely (although probably [[Niggos|not by Chris's standards]]), although at least he got the part of Clyde's image being that of a kissy-face-making Guido correct.

Then all of a sudden he rambles about how he deserves to die and about how he raped [[Panda]].
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPsy3QwPiAo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
[[File:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash is not amused]]
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Chris and rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent_garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Death threats|Kill me now! Kill me now]], [[Chris and psychology|I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[100 2269]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2267

2010-10-08T02:44:29Z

StarryNight: You shouldn't be trying to make a joke where there isn't one to be made. Chris makes enough of a fool out of himself without your lame attempts at humor thrown in. Poop-face jokes? Really?

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video Chris decides to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by making an overblown impression of him and imitating his fake tan by dressing up in blackface, bizarrely (although probably [[Niggos|not by Chris' standards]]), although at least he got the part of Clyde's image being that of a kissy-face-making Guido correct.

Then all of a sudden he rambles about how he deserves to die and about how he raped Panda.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPsy3QwPiAo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

=== Transcription ===

''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time following and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Chris and rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent_garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me! Clyde Cash, kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of satan anymore! Aaaaah!

==See also==
*[[100 2269]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:100 2267

2010-10-08T02:41:49Z

StarryNight:

Anyone transcribing? Guess I'll give it a go...--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 15:24, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Oh sorry man, I just did. I'll add it to the page but there were a couple of words I didn't guess, like at 00:24. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 15:27, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Just edited it with the template from the previous video...edited a but of corect stuff in there someone else take care of it I'm off to tranbscribe another video he just uploaded.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 16:04, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

I fixed up the transcription [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] 15:41, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

I'm pretty sure it's "following" not "wallowing", but Chris does pronounce his Fs like a retard. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:15, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

I still think he's saying "wallowing," as he's always seemed to believe that trolls are sand, pathetic people who are unhappy with their own lives and only troll Chris to make themselves feel better. His mouth doesn't even come close to forming the letter F [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] 19:41, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Oh dear god, Is Chris referencing The Boss? His "Kill me Clyde Cash". --[[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 16:17, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

What does a "one cent daughter" even mean? Why is he insulting Panda's and Clyde's kid? --[[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]] 19:10, 7 October 2010

:Her name is Penny. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 18:41, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

==The Pity shirt==
It doesn't have a picture of it in the gallery, i'll add one myself but i don't have the template--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 19:15, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

100 2267

2010-10-07T22:52:17Z

StarryNight: It's not blackface.

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video Chris decides to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by making an overblown impression of him and dressing up in blackface, bizarrely (although probably [[Niggos|not by Chris' standards]]), although at least he got the part of Clyde's image being that of a kissy-face-making Guido correct.

Then all of a sudden he rambles about how he deserves to die and about how he raped Panda.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPsy3QwPiAo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trolls|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

=== Transcription ===

''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I raped his Australian girlfriend! And then married her! And now I have a one cent daughter. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me! Clyde Cash, kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of satan anymore! Aaaaah!

==See also==
*[[100 2269]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2267

2010-10-07T22:51:33Z

StarryNight:

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video Chris decides to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by making an overblown impression of him and dressing up in blackface, bizarrely (although probably [[Niggos|not by Chris' standards]]), although at least he got the part of Clyde's image being that of a kissy-face-making Guido correct.

Then all of a sudden he rambles about how he deserves to die and about how he raped Panda.

This video seems to also point out the disturbing trend lately involving Chris becoming ever more willing to show up in blackface, meaning either [[Chris and art|all that Crayola that he uses for]] [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] is finally being put to some use or [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|something ELSE Chris has in abundance is being utilized.]]

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPsy3QwPiAo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{IGotWhatIDeserved|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

=== Transcription ===

''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I raped his Australian girlfriend! And then married her! And now I have a one cent daughter. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me! Clyde Cash, kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of satan anymore! Aaaaah!

==See also==
*[[100 2269]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:100 2267

2010-10-07T22:41:13Z

StarryNight:

100 2267

2010-10-07T22:40:20Z

StarryNight:

In this video Chris cos plays as Clyde Cash and rambles about how he deserves to die and about how he raped Panda.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2266
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=mPsy3QwPiAo&feature=sub}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2265]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a silver platter, I raped his Australian girlfriend! And then married her! And now I have a one cent daughter. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down!I want you to kill me! Clyde Cash, kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of satan anymore! Aaaaah!

100 2265

2010-10-05T01:42:31Z

StarryNight:

[[File:Robble.jpg|thumb|Graphic re-enactment of the video]]

'''100 2265''' is a [[Random access humor|bizarre, nonsensical]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 3 [[October 2010]]. In it, we see Chris, clad in his female support garment and what appears to be some sort of black wrapping, babbling about hamburgers in an incoherent manner. He tries to imitate the fast-food icon [[wikipedia:Hamburglar|the Hamburglar]] by prancing around [[Chris's room|his room]] shouting "robble robble" in a nasally, high-pitched voice. Even when acting crazy, Chris somehow manages to screw things up as his costume lacks several key elements, such as the character's signature hat and red gloves.
==Video==
[[File:Hamburglar.jpg|thumb|The Hamburglar laughs at an [[Ian Brandon Anderson|impostor]]]]
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2265
| video = {{#ev:youtube|W3gD0VWFA3U}}
| stardate = 3 [[October 2010]]
| subject = Robble (?)
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald would like to congratulate the CWCki's experts of video transcription... not that the transcription helped him much in this case.]]

''[Chris appears in his [[muscle bra]] with strips of black tape over his rotund figure. He has likewise taped over his eyes, to imitate the Hamburglar's mask]''

Heeyyyyyy folks! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Some of the tape has fallen off, Chris adjusts it.]''

I'm Hamburglar here! Deep fat-frying fat-ridin'(?) robber here! Robble, robble!

''[Chris points to a blurry, out-of-focus image of a Big Mac on his television]''

I'm gonna steal me that Big Mac there! Robble, robble, robble! It's so delicious! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Chris moves closer to the screen and begins gesturing at the image.]''

Oh, robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Two whole/all beef patties! Robble, robble, robble, robble! [[Navy|Special Sauce]]! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Onions, [[Pickle|pickles]], cheese! Robble, robble, robble, robble! All on a sesame seed bun! ''[Chris pronounces "bun" like "biyun" here.]'' Robble, robble, robble!

''[The image of the Big Mac briefly comes into focus.]''

MCDONALD'S! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Robble, robble, robble!

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Obesity]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2265

2010-10-05T01:09:52Z

StarryNight: The Hamburglar says more than "only robble"

[[File:Robble.jpg|thumb|Graphic re-enactment of the video]]

'''100 2265''' is a [[Random access humor|bizarre, nonsensical]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 3 [[October 2010]]. In it, we see Chris, clad in his female support garment and what appears to be some sort of black wrapping, babbling about hamburgers in an incoherent manner. He tries to imitate the fast-food icon [[wikipedia:Hamburglar|the Hamburglar]] by prancing around [[Chris's room|his room]] shouting "robble robble" in a nasally, high-pitched voice. Even when acting crazy, Chris somehow manages to screw things up as his costume lacks several key elements.
==Video==
[[File:Hamburglar.jpg|thumb|The Hamburglar laughs at an [[Ian Brandon Anderson|impostor]]]]
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2265
| video = {{#ev:youtube|W3gD0VWFA3U}}
| stardate = 3 [[October 2010]]
| subject = Robble (?)
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald would like to congratulate the CWCki's experts of video transcription... not that the transcription helped him much in this case.]]

''[Chris appears in his [[muscle bra]] with strips of black tape over his rotund figure. He has likewise taped over his eyes, to imitate the Hamburglar's mask]''

Heeyyyyyy folks! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Some of the tape has fallen off, Chris adjusts it.]''

I'm Hamburglar here! Deep fat-frying fat-ridin'(?) robber here! Robble, robble!

''[Chris points to a blurry, out-of-focus image of a Big Mac on his television]''

I'm gonna steal me that Big Mac there! Robble, robble, robble! It's so delicious! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Chris moves closer to the screen and begins gesturing at the image.]''

Oh, robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Two whole/all beef patties! Robble, robble, robble, robble! [[Navy|Special Sauce]]! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Onions, [[Pickle|pickles]], cheese! Robble, robble, robble, robble! All on a sesame seed bun! ''[Chris pronounces "bun" like "biyun" here.]'' Robble, robble, robble!

''[The image of the Big Mac briefly comes into focus.]''

MCDONALD'S! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Robble, robble, robble!

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Obesity]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

I like Mary Poppins

2010-10-03T01:22:29Z

StarryNight: He was moving furniture to use it as props.

'''I like Mary Poppins''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 2 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris dons his [[PaRappa the Rapper]] hat and dances around the room, apparently in the fashion of the chimney sweeps in Mary Poppins.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I like Mary Poppins
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XHN0dvfWfHI}}
| stardate = 2 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2261.MOV]]
| next = Current
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2261.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Fridays After Five

2010-06-19T09:12:14Z

StarryNight: I removed a homophobic comment about chris's posturing.

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[File:Pedo_exposure.jpg|thumb|left|Scaring children away since 1999.]]

'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. [[Chris]] was recently videotaped there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

==18 June 2010==
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up using his [[Pedofork|skills]]. Picture edited to protect the innocent.]]

Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan took these videos and pictures of him out in public. According to the man who took these photos, he says Chris wore a shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "gay circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|Pokewalker]].

At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "Want Woman!" on with permanent marker. It's unlikely Chris was aware he was being photographed, which makes the weird posing seen in many of the pictures even weirder, meaning this was his weird-assed way of trying to be normal.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:100_0698.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris trying to seduce a pretty young thing. Notice that he hasn't fully removed his shirt. He's too lazy to actually take off his shirt.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot. Note the little girls who seem to be in shock. And the woman laughing while she's on her cell phone.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old. She seems to have bested him. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0695.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
‎
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos of the Chrissus Chandlerius in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Sauces==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 Watch it on Youtube]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download it]

100 2188

2010-05-30T21:17:03Z

StarryNight:

{{Rename}}

'''100_2188''' is a video uploaded on 27 [[May 2010]]. [[Chris]] complains about the [[trolls]] vandalizing the [[CWCipedia]] and then tries to defend himself, saying that he is [[PS3|active]] in his community and that the trolls are [[Chris|losers who sit at their computers all day]]. He gets very preachy about not being glued to the internet, the need to go outside and socialize with real people, but then again, [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|we've heard this before]]. Chris announces that he does not need to repeat himself, then goes on to repeat himself (for the millionth time): he is [[homos|STRAIGHT]].

Chris claims that hacking someone else's "crap and stuff" is something he would never do, either forgetting or ignoring the fact that he invaded [[Liquid Chris]]'s e-mail account in his pursuit of [[Kacey]] and [[Samantha Thaddeus]]'s e-mail account in order to [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|converse with Jack]]. He levels all manner of rage at computers and the internet, but apparently, telephones are exempt, probably because they are an older medium and Chris is on a knee-jerk rant about how he doesn't want to associate with anyone who isn't in his life already. Truly, Chris is the perfect hybrid of both [[Racism|racist]] redneck and immature manchild.

His outfit in this video is a new variation on the "Trucker" costume from [[Some Favored Comedians]] and his [[The Hook Cafe|Hook Cafe]] profile pictures, this time featuring a dark blue t-shirt, a black vest, and a hat to hide his baldness. Whether this represents a sea change in his [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] choices remains to be seen.

==Description==

In the afternoon hours of 27 May 2010, Chris posted this message onto this video:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Cwcville]] and all therein.

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the internet.

[[An_Official_Sonichu_Update|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to go back to when there was little against me.|}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2188
| video = {{#ev:youtube|i1RDewqiAIo}}
| stardate = 27 May 2010
| subject = {{Website|[[CWCipedia]]}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}{{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{BlueLogoShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[Some Favored Comedians]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==
[''Chris opens the video with a sigh. The fan is still.'']

May 27, 2010. Look. All you people who dare- who are- all you people who mock me and torment me, you ''trolls''. I'm sick and tired of having to deal with you. You do not need to be gettin'- hacking into my [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|crap]] and stuff, you do not need to be doing that. And you should never do that! [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|I would never even do that]]!

I am ''trying'' to improve myself. I am [[Mass Debating|working on myself]] in real life. [[Monthly Tugboat|I am not lazy!]] I am no- I am not so much a manchild as I was before! And I am act- and I am active within my community looking for n- looking for new ''friends'' to talk- to hang out with and talk to.

Especially the women. I do not need to repeat myself! [''dramatically removes his glasses''] I am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]. I [[love]] women!

[''After a long pause, Chris puts his glasses on.'']

And I am ''not'' going to be on the internet much because I have been turned off of the internet, because of what- because of them damn tr-, because of you damn trolls. Give me so many bad experiences of the internet. Real life is so much better than the internet, you know, you glue yourselves to your computers... [''the glasses come back off''] every last one of you! And y'all are becoming ''[[autistic]]''-like! Stuck within your computers! Nobody- not- not too many people are socializing in real life anymore, they're just glued to their computers. That is not a world that we do not need to live in. Technology is suppo- is supposedly- supposed to improve our lives, make things easier for us. I'll tell you one thing that it is not making easier. Being sociable in real life. You need to glue- you need to get yourselves away from your computers. [[Chris and hypocrisy|And your sheltered lives. And go out and socialize in real life.]] Talk to people! Go find yoursel- go find your own sweethearts, or if you already found 'em, go t- go talk to them and h- and, and hang out with them, and... [[Hanky panky|everything]].

I do not need to have to update myself on the internet. [[Ian Brandon Anderson|My good name]] is my own good name. And nothing on the internet will change that for fact. Everything on the internet may as well be considered ''false''.

If you really want to know the truth, you have to s- seem- you have to talk to me in person! In real life. [''long pause''] Because I am not going to be pushed around anymore by anybody on the internet. Anybody outside of this state, outside of my own com- outside of [[CWCville|my own world]]. On the, on the internet, through the computer. The only ones that I will... associate with and ''possibly''... entrust... are those closest to me in real life. Computer-heads, go get your own life! ''Away from the computer!''

People meeting people on the internet supposedly is an [[The Hook Cafe|improvement]] in [[Okcupid|relationships]], but you know what? [''shakes his head vigorously''] ''[[Aspergers|I disagree! Heavily!]]''

[''After another long pause, the glasses go back on.'']

Improvement on what, socially? Nothing! We're best socializing in real life, talking on the telephone! We do not need the internet and e-mails! We've become- y- y'all have become slaves to your own damn thing. Think about it!

{{Troll Videos}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Some Favored Comedians]]|nextlink=Current}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Autism Awareness E-mails

2010-05-16T08:56:25Z

StarryNight: /* What's the source? */ new section

Oh boy. Clyde, where did you ever get this pile of gold?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:12, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== What's the source? ==

There's no adequate explanation here of how or why this exchange began.

User:StarryNight

2010-05-16T02:55:25Z

StarryNight:

User:StarryNight

2010-05-16T02:54:51Z

StarryNight: Created page with ':('

05142010

2010-05-16T02:54:17Z

StarryNight:

{{Rename}}

'''05142010''' is a 15 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his fanbase by discussing the [[death]] of a girl [http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-county/bs-virginia-lacrosse-20100515,0,7921868.story|girl who was murdered by her boyfriend] after [[Matthew_5_27,_CWC_Confessions|cheating]] on him. The girl in question attended the [[University of Virginia]] located in [[Charlottesville]], which seems to be the only reason why Chris knows or cares about her. Note that Chris has stated in the past he is willingly ignorant of news events (he hates "bad news") and hearing him discuss something of national interest is a rarity. After this, he goes on to blame the [[trolls]] and [[autism]] for his problems with females.

In this video, a new shirt emerges which seems to say "I got what I deserve." However the last word is partially illegible due to it being stuck between his rolls of stomach [[McDonalds|fat]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 05142010
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IThZIRAMNbc}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100_2178]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==

[''A loud fan is humming in the background.'']

[[Captain's log]], the 14th of, uh May, 2010. [''adjusts his glasses''] I would like to take this, uh, brief moment to... talk about, uh, a loca- local... recent events. Like, uh, yeah, I understand... recen- I understand recently that there was a girl who was, uh, murdered at UVA by her ex-boyfriend. She was on the lacrosse team. [''glasses removal''] It was very sad... for a- for a woman. He just kicked the door in and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|banged her head against the wall]], and totally ruined her right side and- right side of her head. She died from that.

And then she- and then he [[Chris and English|tooked]] her computer, 'cause apparently there was some... there was an email on there that he sent her. And he didn't want that to get out. Sure it got out by now. [''pause''] That's very sad. I h- and I, uh, hope that- I hope that, if they haven't done so already, that the lacrosse team for UV- for UVA... wins, in memory of that- in memory of that girl.

And yeah, it was not an accident. He- as, as so that the, uh, dude claims to say as it was. 'Cause if he had not- if he had no intention of killing her, he would- he would not have banged her against the wall. No accident. He should get a whole- he should get [[Chris and the Law|like 20 years in jail. That's what he deserves for that.]] He deserves jail time and hard time... banging rocks, making license plates. So he can repay... [[Monthly tugboat|debt to society]] for... the ''shock'' from this girl's murder.

And also, uh... yeah, uh, also the other events around the world, uh... yeah, slip my mind right now, but... I am- well, I do watch the news. And, uh, when I have a thought about a recent event I feel is of, uh... good tal- of, uh, worth my talkin' about, then I will. I will record it, and I will... talk about it.

And also, yeah. [[Autism]] another- a little mention about that from my point of view. Uh, ap- apparently, uh, not- not just- uh, the fact that we are unable to soc- unable to socialize... but at least from my point of view, uh... in a crowded- in a crowded event or section, very crowded, where it's not easy for me to [[Chris and his ego|get much attention]]... I- I just wa- I just likely tend to freeze up vocally. I, uh, I can pretty much, uh, do body language fair enough, but it's like... can't get a word out... of my throat. Even, not even so much as a hello.

[''puts his fist to his forehead, apparently [[stress]]ed'']

[[Lie|I am not a bad man]]. I am not- have no... [[Chris and rape|intention]]- uh, anything [[Chris and anger|negative]] of [[Death threats|that sort]]. I'm just ver- I'm just... damn shy from the autism. Freezing me up. And I am working on that. I just... need he- I just need help from... my-- I just need help from my fr- from my ''real'' friends, real people... 'Cause I can't just expect... women that fall into my lap like that. I mean, if was that easy, then- if it was that easy, then... at this point, especially over the Internet... [[Blanca|Definitely]] [[PandaHalo|be]] [[Julie|an]] [[Ivy|action]] [[Kacey|of]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|a]] [[Sydney Contacts|troll]], so... I can tell- I can tell the difference right there.

Made me [[Virginia is for Virgins|paranoid]]... you did... damn trolls.

[''puts his glasses back on''] Leave you all with that for today, and, uhh... wait 'til another day when I have another thought about recent events. [''flashes the peace sign, then reaches to turn off the camera''] Have a good day.

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2178]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-15]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==References==
<references />

Talk:IPods Down and Listen Up

2010-05-14T22:38:57Z

StarryNight: /* Panther or panda? */ new section

==The End of the restriction on Niggos?==

This might be a huge development; Chris's use of the expression "Jungle Fever". Do this is purely for style or he's opening to the idea that African-American women are his new prowling ground? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 00:47, 16 December 2009 (CET)

he's just retarded and doesn't know what jungle fever means [[User:CWCattack|CWCattack]] 00:50, 16 December 2009 (CET)

*CWCattack is right. Don't read to much into it. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:09, 16 December 2009 (CET)

**Oh guys, [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Warning_-_Naughty_Women_%3B%29 how quickly we forget]. [[User:Klingerbgoode|Klingerbgoode]] 01:25, 19 December 2009 (CET)

He's a massive hypocrite and at this point he's desperate for any china, so he might have sex with a nonwhite woman given the chance. The "jungle fever" part is probably just idiocy though. See [[biological clock]] for another example. [[User:Skwrr|Skwrr]] 02:06, 16 December 2009 (CET)

== Beautifully sexy? ==

I think he's saying "You're a sleek, sexy panther." Not beautifully sexy. --[[User:Rob|Rob]] 01:36, 16 December 2009 (CET)Rob
*My bad. Good catch. I was way off. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 03:14, 16 December 2009 (CET)
Nah, you weren't far off. Just listen to tubs. He tends to mash words together.--[[User:Rob|Rob]] 03:23, 16 December 2009 (CET)Rob

==What==

Okay, let me get this straight. Chris is telling the whole internet he's taking Viagra, pretty much confirming that his [[duck]] is bad at everything. How the hell did he get any? Is he taking it regularly? Is that unhealthy? Is it bad that I wouldn't feel bad if he died from blood pressure issues? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:49, 16 December 2009 (CET)
* Not sure about this, but I think some American doctors get money from pharmaceutical companies when they prescribe that company's drugs to patients. So if someone who's obviously not sexually active still wants Viagra, the doctor would have some at least some incentive to prescribe it for him. I'm not sure about this since I don't have health insurance and haven't seen a doctor in well over five years. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:05, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*There's also a good chance he's just saying it to sound bad ass (at least in his mind). If not, maybe he took it from Bob? I know he says his parents haven't had sex in like 20 years, but I always thought that was more of a childish "EW MY PARENTS DON'T HAVE SEX THAT'S GROOOOSSSS" type reaction. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 03:48, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*I wonder if Chris took some Viagra before making this video. He seems rather energetic for once. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 05:07, 16 December 2009 (CET)
:* The stuff doesn't make you energetic, though. Just gives you a hard-on and a wicked headache. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 05:24, 16 December 2009 (CET)
::*My mistake. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 05:41, 16 December 2009 (CET)
::* Adderall will make you flip out like that the first few times, maybe he started snorting it? --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 17:10, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
*My drug handbook says: sildenafil (Viagra) Use Cautiously in: Uncontrolled Hypertension (check)...Anatomic penile deformity (check), drug-drug interactions with alcohol (check) can cause severe hypotension. So yeah. It looks like he will have blood pressure issues. I don't see any "confidence boosting" as a side-effect; maybe he wants to go on a rape rampage? [[User:Special|Special]] 17:48, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*I think he's always wanted to go on one of those.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:08, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*I don't know if it's just me, but my interpretation was not that he's saying he takes Viagra, but rather that Santa Claus does, since he's an old man. In that moment, he was playing as Santa, so it sounds as if those words are supposed to be from Santa, not him. [[User:Pitifuladultlife|Pitifuladultlife]] 03:18, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

==Analysis==

I removed the analysis firstly because it was crap, and secondly because there's no point in giving one until we know what the hell Chris is on. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:11, 16 December 2009 (CET)

==Pound pound pound pound==

I'm fairly sure he's saying "pump". Also, "ho-O", not "ho-ho". Is the confidence booster he's talking about = alcohol? He seems drunk or at least tipsy in this video. Which is disturbing, as he's most probably home alone (apart from possibly [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]). --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 05:26, 16 December 2009 (CET)

==Furry tendencies?==
Or just a colourfull metaphor? YOU decide. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 20:13, 16 December 2009 (CET)
*Well, ''Sonichu Special 3'' turned into Furry sex quite fast, right? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 19 December 2009 (CET)

== Why...? ==

Why does this seem to disturb me more then the horrible eye-searing pain of the nudes or <s>The Necronomicon</s> Sonichu 8? something about a near-30 year old manchild singing about jungle fever and rape just seems...wrong. the kind of horrible wrong only a near-human robot can bring. [[User:DronePod|Herpity derp derp]] 23:49, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

because chris is getting desperater. i doubt he'll rape anyone...maybe scar a girl for life by him flashing his penis one day. a 6 year old girl. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

== Panther or panda? ==

Is there any chance that he's saying sleek sexy panda instead of panther?
I googled "ipods down and listen up", only to find a post on a BBW forum (lol) where someone posted the lyrics to this song in thread.
That person heard 'panther' as 'panda' and now I can't unhear it.
Any chance he might have been alluding to PandaHalo? Or should I stop believing everything the chubby chasers tell me?

Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!

2010-05-05T11:30:03Z

StarryNight:

'''Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!''' is another video posted by [[Chris]] in his [[Fail|attempt]] to blackmail [[Gregg Mays]] into revealing his identity. It was uploaded on 28 [[October 2009]], one day after [[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]].

Though it's unknown why his latest picture involves two girls making out, with one of them having a Spider-Man head shopped on, it is likely that the picture of the two women may be acting as a cover for a larger, far more exciting picture underneath involving Spider-Man. Now isn't that exciting?

==Video==
{{quotebox|
Clyde's Latest Video is LAME-ASS! You Trolls see now how WEAK he REALLY IS! }}
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!
| image = {{#ev:youtube|lYScie0PvdI}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 28 October 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Comedy}} Comedy
| Saga = {{Clyde}} Clyde Saga
| Other = {{Audio}} Audio
| previous = [[For Chris II]]
| next = [[SHE IS MINE NOW]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

[''A picture of two presumably drunk, partially undressed girls making out is held up to the camera. Spider-Man's head has been pasted on top of the one on the bottom. The photo is captioned "Hope your weekend is as cool as this".'']

Alright, viewers at home, we are viewing the second piece of the puzzle, or should I say, the photograph. [[Clyde Cash|Mr. Clyde]] is doing something to do with his buddy, Matt... who is really [[Virgin with rage|getting SUPER LAID HERE!]] Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Ahh. Another 24 hours before the next piece of the photograph is revealed, stay tuned.

==The pictures==
[[Image:College Humor.jpg|left|thumb|Even this can be ruined...]][[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|...with a little hint of this.]]

Chris took "Perhaps the best picture on College Humor" — the most well-known image that [http://www.collegehumor.com said website] has ever produced — and crudely Shopped some [[homo]] Spider-Man's head onto it. Welp.

==See also==

*[[Secret Weapon]]
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For Chris II]]|nextlink=[[SHE IS MINE NOW]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

For Chris II

2010-05-05T11:29:01Z

StarryNight:

[[For Chris II]] (officially '''10272009 For Chris No 2''') is a 27 [[October 2009]] video in which [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] makes vague, ineffectual threats against [[Liquid Chris]], suggesting that Liquid should leave [[Kacey]] alone, even though Kacey is Liquid's girlfriend. Rather than going into full-blown [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] as usual, IBA threatens to go into full-blown tard rage, which may include shouting, punching himself, and doing a substandard job of breaking flimsy objects in his room. Ian also plays some heavy metal in the background, which he believes is very terrifying, but the juxtaposition of heavy metal and the sight of an obese, balding manchild wearing an oddly-colored shirt and a medallion depicting an imaginary character has the opposite effect.

IBA has been wearing the same blue-green striped polo shirt with the red long-sleeve shirt underneath since his [[10252009 For Kacey|second video]] declaring his love for Kacey on October 25th. Chances are he's showing off this [[Chris and fashion|new outfit]] for her, which has not been seen in any videos until recently. Given his propensity to [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|sweat profusely]] and avoid [[April_16_Fetish_Vids#How_NOT_to_take_a_Shower|showering]], he most likely smells like a rotting animal by now. In this video he appears particularly [[Stress|haggard and disheveled]], his hair sticks up at odd angles, and his receding hairline is becoming increasingly visible and obvious.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = For Chris II
| image = {{#ev:youtube|KjQ6259jpFE}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 27 October 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = [[Image:liquid_saga.png]] Liquid Saga
| Shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[ClydeGoingOnGregg1| ClydeGoingOnGregg1]]
| next = [[Clyde's_Buddy_Matt_Getting_SUPER-LAID!!!| Clyde‘s Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
''[Starts a song before speaking. Glares at the camera]''

Well. [[CChanSonichuCWC|Mr. Chris]]. We talk again. I tell you what, I've heard you've been bothering Kacey. I tell ya, ''[Crosses arms]'' not cool, dude. Not cool. It's one thing to break your promise to her, but when you go pestering her like you've been doing lately, ''[points]'' yeah, you cross the line. ''[points again]'' So, you best STOP what you're doing! Because, believe me, you [[Chris and anger|don't want to make me very angry]] and, believe me, I'm on the VERGE of such. ''[Holds up [[Claw of Fail]].]''

So, there. You just back off. Just back off, man. ''[Claw motion. Sighs]''

''[Stands awkwardly for quite awhile]''

Back off. Back away from Kacey. Leave her alone. Besides, she's told you about how she feels about me. Let her go, dude. Leave her alone.

''[switches sides]''

I'll leave you with that, for now.

''[Peace sign]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]]|nextlink=[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

I Pimp My Ride.MOV

2010-05-05T11:14:49Z

StarryNight:

'''I Pimp My Ride.MOV''' is a video uploaded on 5 may 2010.

Having discovered that a bug is placed in his [[PS3]], Christian proudly shows off what he thinks is the now removed device in an never before seen ill fitting Pokemon shirt. Chris brags about his feat, before proceeding to take out his PS3 Keyboard controller(that has wheels taped on to it) and a Lego car, proclaiming he has "Pimped His Ride". Chris actually removed the [http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html Wi-Fi antenna], being the [[Lie | intelligent young man]] he is.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Pimp My Ride.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|rz5xYLpUJxY}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 05 May 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = [[Pokémon T-Shirt]]
| previous = [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
Hey yo trolls! You got nothing going on fer ya, because you know what?

[''Chris proudly lifts the Wi-Fi antenna, thinking it is the bug.'']

I removed it. The Wi-Fi antenna! It gone! You ain’t getting on ma PS3 anymo! You a bunch of dumbasses! And yeah I p-did spend a bit of dough on my grill, but you know what? I'm no b-different from y’all! 'Cuz I like to Pimp Mah Riiiiiiiiidddde!

[''Chris lifts his hands, showing a PS3 keyboard controller with taped on wheels in one, and a lego car in the other.'']

I'm out, peace!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]