CWCki - User contributions [en]

Template:Da update

2016-06-02T08:34:53Z

Stevejohnsoncooler: IMG 3207 added, April 27th removed.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*30 [[May 2016|May]]: Chris made a [[IMG 3207|video]] in response to [[Johan]] to show off his sex moves.
*23 [[May 2016|May]]: Chris [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|begs for donations]] again, and also introduces his new [[waifu]].
*14 [[May 2016|May]]: Chris livestreams another [[Proposition_to_Sega|business offer]], this time for Sega's benefit.
*10 [[May 2016|May]]: Chris buys an anime bodypillow.
*7 [[May 2016|May]]: Chris's Etsy shop closes, only to come back up later.
*29 [[April 2016|April]] - The official [[Chris_in_the_media#Sega_Acknowledges_Sonichu_Again|Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter]] once again acknowledges Sonichu in [https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/726090715885756416 a post] making fun of Sonic OC's.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Manchester High School

2016-06-02T08:28:30Z

Stevejohnsoncooler: /* The Seinor Prom */ Grammar Check

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Manchesterhigh.jpg|thumb|left|The home to the only decent 4 years of Chris's life.]]
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|This is what Chris actually believes]].]]

{{quote|I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life.|Chris, ten years after finishing high school, crying alone in his dark, toy-filled bedroom<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

'''Manchester High School''', located in [[Wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian]], [[Virginia]], is a high school that [[Chris]] attended from [[1990s#1996|1996]] to [[2000]] ([[Wikipedia:Secondary education in the United States#High school|ninth grade to twelfth grade]]). Chris portrays this period as among the happiest in his life,<ref>[[:Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|DVD]], note 7</ref> even though he proudly slept through a good deal of it.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref> He would like nothing more than to use a time machine to return to these halcyon days.

==Known accomplishments==
[[Image:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg|thumb|Chris's diploma. The public school system has failed us yet again]]
[[Image:481-TungstenPoster.JPG|thumb|Tungsten. That is all.]]
Among Chris's classes were the usual subjects, two years of [[Spanish]],<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 8</ref> [[Dating education|Sex Ed]], "Coping Skills", and a lot of [[Chris and art|art]] classes. According to Chris, he achieved an ''[[Honor roll|Honor Roll]] Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S.''<ref name="teen">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> However, according to the [[Manchester High Leaks]], he received a D+ in English in his junior year, having not turned in several major assignments and getting failing grades on most of the ones he did turn in. Chris proudly claims he was mainstreamed through high school, but the special education classes imply that Chris was mainstreamed to the extent that he attended the same school as his typically functioning peers, but not much more than that. He also rode on the "freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus", an experience which haunts him to this day.<ref name="Jackie Chat 9">[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref>

;10th grade
* [[Song of Christian|F on English assignment]]

;11th grade
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English 1999 Grade Report|English Class - 78%]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Parenting Interview|Parenting Interview]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Describing Development|Describing Development worksheet]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Parenting|Parenting worksheets]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Empathy Belly essay|Empathy Belly essay]] (grade 30/30)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Amendment Timeline|Amendment Timeline]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Strategic Defense Initiative essay|Strategic Defense Initiative essay]] (grade 10/10)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Election worksheet|Election worksheet]] (grade 18/18)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Canterbury Tales Essay|Canterbury Tales essay]] (grade 69%)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|Japan War essay]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Best President Essay|Best President essay]] (grade 43/50 + 10)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Student Life Essay|Student Life essay]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#S.O.L. Test|Standards of Learning essay]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#13 Lucky Writing Tips|13 Lucky Writing Tips]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Adjectives worksheet|Spanish adjectives worksheet]] (grade 20/20)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Las Profesiones worksheet|Spanish "Las Profesiones" worksheet]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Las profesiones y nacionalidad|Spanish "Las profesiones y nacionalidad" worksheet]] (grade 30/32)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Mock Job Interview|Chemistry mock resume]] (grade 83.1/100)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Mock Job Interview|Chemistry mock job interview]] (grade 33.1/40)
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Getting Acquainted|Chemistry "Getting Acquainted" worksheet]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Safety in the Kitchen worksheet|"Safety in the Kitchen" worksheet]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Kitchen Safety outline|"Kitchen Safety" outline]]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet|"Kitchen Safety" true/false worksheet]]

;12th Grade
* September: Praise from his [[English]] teacher for the short story "[[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]"
* March: CD cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''
* April: Naps in class for the self-documentary "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]"
{{-}}

==Social life==
Most of Chris's friends were [[gal pal]]s, not [[Asperchu|joy-boys]]. He had classes and ate lunch with them every other day (the high school has alternating "odd" and "even" days. On odd days he ate alone). He seemed to have had a strong dislike toward pupils he saw as immature boys,<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref> which might be related to Chris having been constantly picked on. Chris's purported friends:

* [[Kellie Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Gowen]]
* [[Gal pal#Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah Bevel]]
* [[Gal pal#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Miranda Mitchell]]
* [[Gal pal#Molly Quarles|Molly Quarles]], happy and giggly
* [[Joseph Herring]]
* Brian, [[JERKS|boyfriend]] of Sarah<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 8</ref>

In reality, few if any of those people can be legitimately said to have been a friend of Chris. As he himself admits, he spent little time with his so called friends outside of school hours<ref>[[Kacey Call 20]]</ref> and in his [[Song of Christian]] (written at age sixteen) he describes himself as being lonely and isolated. He couldn't go to pep rallies because they were "Too Loud."

Years later, Chris found out that none of his gal-pals actually liked him that much and hung around with him mostly out of pity, much to his devastation. In the Facebook post where he revealed this, he also made the bizarre claim that he hadn't really been bullied much because he'd never been beaten up or stuffed into a locker, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the vast majority of school bullying consists of emotional, not physical abuse.

{{-}}

==Go Lancers!==
[[File:TheLancers.jpg|thumb|100px|The logo of the team Chris uploaded on [[Facebook]] on 9 [[August 2013]].]]
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|left|Chris happily serving [[niggos]]. Ironic.]]
Chris was a [[Wikipedia:Water boy|water boy]] (and a "manager", [[Chris and his Ego|according to him]]) for the Manchester High Lancers [[Bionic the Hedgehog|basketball]] team, along with [[Joseph Herring]]. He got a certificate and an embroidery "M" for this work.<ref name="teen" /> Chris's servitude to the basketball team, probably the only meaningful interaction he had with other [[jerks|males]] throughout his entire adolescence, remains a cherished memory, so much so that he continues to obsess about it... ''over a decade after graduating''.

A few references were slipped into the comic. Manchester High was featured heavily in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. It begins with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] hanging around his old school [[Pedofork|without being there on any official business.]] [[Magi-Chan]] then brings Chris and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] back in time to [[1990s#1996|1996]], when Chris was a fourteen-year old waterboy. Based on his actions in the comic, his "manager" job consisted of leaning against a wall. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Megagi La Skunk]] was depicted wearing a Lancers cheerleader outfit.

In [[August 2010]], Chris made a handful of characters and a vehicle in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to commemorate his time with the basketball team. The Manchester High ''ModNation'' collection includes the team bus, two of the players, a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]], and Chris himself at age 14, looking as if he's afraid of being jumped by something just behind him.

On 9 [[August 2013]], as Chris continued to fantasize about his high school years, Chris uploaded the logo of the team on [[Facebook]]. In November he revealed his "fantastical" [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego high school]], which was festooned with a number of Lancers stickers. It featured a basketball court, gymnasium, showers, and locker room.

<center><gallery>
File:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|Chris the towel boy.
File:ModNation 1996ChristianChandler.jpg|The ModNation version.
File:ModNation No24MHSPlayer.jpg|Manchester High basketball player.
File:ModNation No65MHSPlayer.jpg|Another basketball player.
File:ModNation MHSCheerleader.jpg|And of course a cheerleader.
File:ModNation ManchesterShirt.jpg|And, uh, a [[Transformers|Transformer]] Lancer.
File:Lego Lancers.jpg|The Lancers go Lego.
</gallery></center>

{{-}}

==The Bus==
[[File:Short busses.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's photo. "These busses are full of nutty '[[slow-in-the-minds]]'."]]
[[File:Lego school bus.jpg|thumb|In fantasyland, Chris rides the long bus.]]
At age 15, Chris was "demoted" from the regular school bus to the Special Ed bus for an unknown reason. Out of all the weird, embarrassing details of his life that he has no problem discussing, this is one experience that he has rarely spoken about. It's clear that Chris was scarred by this experience of being forced to spend time with the seriously mentally handicapped, or "[[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] retards" [[CWC-isms|as he calls them]].

Chris switched to the Bus of Doom after a confrontation with another student on the Normal Bus. Much like every other time Chris claims to have been physically assaulted, it is unclear exactly what happened. He has only told the story twice;<ref name="Jackie Chat 9"/><ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref> in one version it sounds like Chris started a fight because he wanted to get off the bus first, and in the other version it sounds like a [[niggos|niggo]] punched him for no reason. Whatever happened, Chris cites this incident as the reason for his exclusion from Gen Pop.

{{-}}
==The Senior Prom==

Chris took his [[Barbara|mom]] to the seinor [sic] prom. His [[gal pal]] [[Tiffany]] felt sorry for him, and so she asked him to dance, which they did so for what seemed like hours to Chris (and arguably seemed like hours to Tiffany too). Chris hopes to re-enact this historic moment at an upcoming high school reunion.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Seinor Prom]]</ref> That is assuming there aren't security guards there for the express purpose of keeping him out.

===Gallery===

<center><gallery>
Image:0539-Prom1.jpg|Stay classy, Virginia.
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|"Don't go gropin' anyone tonight, Chris... I'm assburgin'."
Image:0541-Prom3.jpg
Image:0542-Prom4.jpg|Chris was probably more interested in the food than the two young ladies.
Image:0543-Prom5.jpg|Chris is feeling all by his lonesome at this point.
Image:0544-Prom6.jpg|Some random people at prom, giving what would be considered a rude gesture in some countries.
Image:0545-Prom7.jpg
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany to the rescue!
</gallery></center>

==Graduation==

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|Chris in his graduation gown. The white thing around his neck generally indicates [[honor roll]].]]

For Chris, graduation was an emotional experience. In his own words:<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Graduation]]</ref>

{{quotebox|I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had [[Chris and English|MORE FANCIER]] AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for [[Chris and art|my ARTISTIC TALENTS]] I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for [[Chris and his Ego|any of my Talents]]. [[Chris and anger|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD]]!

I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands. I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. [[Barbara Chandler|My mother]] found me later and comforted me; [[Bob Chandler|my father]] was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]] also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand.}}

[[Image:Chris accepting diploma at MHS graduation.jpg|thumb|Chris accepts his MHS diploma on stage. This photo must have been taken immediately before he ran off to cry.]]

In another retelling, Chris reveals more straight anger:<ref>DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]</ref>

{{quotebox|So while I sit there and feel happy for my friends who got something, I was so %$@# JEALOUS. I was a High-Functioning Autistic Boy who came WAAAAAAAAAY BEYOND OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SHELL, only to get ZILCH, NADA, ZIP; A BIG FAT ZERO! I felt so Devistated and Out Of Sync :'(

[...]

I ended up doing what I did when I went up there to accept the diploma; NO HANDSHAKE, TEARS, AND RUNNING AWAY TO HIDE. They don't even have any pictures of that in the Y2K Yearbook; the caption should have read, "Student Christian Chandler is Depressed and Sad for some reasons. His response is tears and fright."

Even now as I type this, I am still *&$%^#@ Angry that I didn't get anything for the things I've poured my heart, soul and hand-work into, nor emerged as a friend to quite a few, nor developing a positive social behavior similar to [[Red Skelton]].}}

More recently, however, he has rewritten the story to incorporate his nostalgia for lost friendships:<ref>[[CWC's Hallmark Negative Life Events]]. See also [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]] and [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris is losing friends]].</ref>

{{quotebox|Graduation time: I only got a Star pin for my grades; No Awards for my talents. Between that and leaving the Best circle of friends I ever had, along with leaving the Best days of my life behind, I shook no one's hand and cried a Lot upon receiving my diploma. Plus it was raining heavily that Graduation day.}}

The evil [[Count Graduon]]'s name was derived from Chris's feelings about his graduation.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

At least one of Chris's graduation sculptures which are the root of his tears on that day have survived the fire at 14BC; The Sonic Totem is on full view in [[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement]].
{{-}}

==Lingering attachments==

{{quote|I left my [[heart level|heart]] back at Manchester High in Midlothian.|Chris<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}

Generally speaking, Chris's memories of high school still hold great significance for him. This is unsurprising, given that high school was the last time he regularly got out and about in a social environment that seems to have at least partially accepted and tolerated him, though this was most likely because snapping at an [[autism|autistic]] child in a public school can get you suspended.

Chris has mentioned that he frequently [[dreams]] of his days in high school, recalling his teenage years in a nostalgic tone. A [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] features a flood of wistful reminiscing from Chris, as he laments having to move away from the suburb where he went to high school: "I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, when I, after I graduated." A good half dozen of the women he recalled in his archive of "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal pals and past sweethearts]]" (and most of the ones who weren't trolls) were girls he knew in high school.

There's also the matter of the aforementioned Count Graduon, in whom Chris may have created an embodiment of the concept of leaving high school to be the dominant villain of the entire Sonichu saga. His graduation ceremony is perhaps one of his most painful memories, and it's particularly fitting that Chris transforms the experience into a villain in his own comic book, all things considered.

In 2013, inspired in large part by ''[[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]'' (his second favorite movie of all time), Chris made a Lego model of his school, complete with labelled mini-figures of his old gal pals, because Chris being Chris, he obviously doesn't realize how creepy making effigies of his former lovers are. In October, he showcased his creation in a [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|YouTube video]], a few days after [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking|discovering]] that his high school gal pals, being brave and compassionate souls, only tolerated him and allowed him near them out of pity. Not that Chris appreciates such charity.

When his [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]] on 10 January 2014, the Lego high school partially melted, and was photographed and salvaged by Chris the very next day. One of his first orders of business after moving into his [[Rental House|temporary home]] was to rebuild the school, which he accomplished by March, rededicating it to MHS. He continued to expand it into the summer, and used his high school yearbook to make Lego figurines of the entire staff.

==Reunion plans==

{{quote|I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, "See You at the Reunion in Ten Year." I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.|Chris on his "Promised Reunion"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref>}}
[[File:Reunion.jpg|thumb|Chris's flier for the failed 15 annual reunion.]]
Chris's intense yearning to return to high school manifested itself in a protracted focus on attending his reunion. He imagined his reunion almost exclusively within the context of reconnecting with his old gal-pals, specifically [[Tiffany Gowen]], who he planned on asking to dance. In his "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts" page from the [[CWCipedia]], Chris noted that he didn't know exactly when this would take place, but he made no effort to find out until mid-2010, as he assumed somebody from the school would have contacted him by then. He decided to be proactive and took several clumsy steps to bring the reunion to fruition. He planned to call the principal and demand action. He personally typed up a list of his classmates' names, and on 27 [[August 2010]], uploaded a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|video address]] to [[YouTube]], a desperate plea for help in organizing it. Then he left it up to his father to field the incoming calls. Nothing came of this apart from [[weens|weening]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]], [[Jackie E-mails 10]], and [[Jackie E-mails 21]].</ref> In November there may have been a class reunion, but either way, Chris did not attend.

Three years later, still missing his old circle of gal-pals, he tried again, this time for a fifteenth annual reunion, even though it would be ''two years'' in the future. In August 2013, he contacted and friended everyone in the Class of 2000 he could track down. He sent gifts to some of them and started to refer to his class as "My Family." "I feel this is of utmost importance; I do not want anyone absent from the main reunion I am rounding everyone up for," he emphasized.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Reunion update]]</ref> With the assistance of smarter people than himself, he produced a flier, and used his personal Facebook page to provide updates. Simultaneously he engrossed himself in the parallel fantasy of constructing his Lego Manchester High School. However, a combination of general apathy, troll shenanigans, and his Facebook friends' exposure to the bizarre and assholish sides of Chris thwarted his efforts. The roof caved in on 30 October, when he learned that his so-called friends had been nothing more than "hired help." He sank into depression and stopped caring about the reunion. The following summer he grumbled, "F***ing, D***ed Facebook, Ruining Socializing and making Reunions considered outdated and obsolete). ]:(."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>

2015 came and went, no reunion is known to have been held, and Chris has apparently stopped caring about it.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|Becoming B-ball manager
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Prom Note
Image:0509-CWCNote8.jpg|Classes
Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|Graduation Note 1
Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|Graduation Note 2
Image:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|Graduation Note 3
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Honor roll]]

== References ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://mychesterfieldschools.com/schools/high-school/manchester/ Homepage]
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester High School (Virginia)|Manchester High School]] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]

Lesbian Sex Audition

2016-06-01T07:55:08Z

Stevejohnsoncooler:

{{Honest}}
{{Transcription}}
'''IMG 3207''' is a [[Youtube]] Video [[Chris]] Uploaded on 30th of [[may_2016|May 2016]] in which he shows off his unappreciated acrobatic sexual prowess in hopes to impress a [[Tomgirl|lesbian]] couple, Sam and Ellen, who hoped to raise a baby au naturel. Its contents (though mercifully, he is wearing a bra, pants and tights), are a much more SFW version of [[For Julies Eyes Only]], which includes Chris explaining how he would please them in bed using a blow up doll, where he then over-explains many simple sexual activities while demonstrating them horribly, and lying about various things such as how what he just did was a "[[Lies|good workout]]" and that his [[duck]] is 7 inches long. When Chris tries more advanced positions he either predictably fails or does not realise they are nearly physically impossible with a partner who is not a blow up doll such as when he awkwardly helicopters the poor plastic lady on his crotch while humping. It is also revealed Chris seems to treat sex the same way he plays with his other toys, with him making silly sounds, humming childish tunes and immitating voices while pumping away. To be noted, Chris still believes the vagina goes up the the belly button, as seen shortly into the video, where he licks the dolls [[Obese|stomach]]. The video was previously mentioned in [[CWC Responds to a bully named Johan]], as Chris explained it was made to show Sam and Ellen how a natural birth was better and to compete with [[Johan]] who made his own video and led to Chris creating a poll to see who was better.
== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = IMG 3207
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eJjtZ0IJIEA}}
| stardate =31 [[May 2016]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = Bra and Tights
| previous = [[CWC vs Johan vote link]]
| next =
}}

== Transcript==
Hello Sam and Ellen! It's Christine Chandler coming to you live from... my bedroom! Which is separate from my work room. Anyway, so, y'all wanna see a little.. play, huh?

[''starts removing bathrobe''] Yeah, I'm not naked, totally, but, to get the point across. [''higher pitched''] Enough to get the point across! So.. remembering from whatcha said, rule number one, the foreplay!

Hmm, make out... [''starts making out with the doll, eventually moving down to the breasts and chewing on its nipples''] Hmm. And it show... the pussy! I know where it is, the clitoris would be... [gibberish] assuming this would be the front, that'd be the back, cuz that's how big the hole is here. There's the clitoris, and the vagina's down here somewhere in the middle, and we don't wanna... hit the peehole which is in between.

I know about the labia... [''dives in and starts sucking the doll's crotch'']

[''flips the doll over''] And uh... not comfortable with it yet but I'll get around to it... uhh, I might definitely ask y'all to shower beforehand, but... we could try anal. [''starts eating the doll's ass'']

[''wiping his mouth''] Yeah... I'll definitely ask y'all to get that bleached. But anyway aside from that, um, yes I'm aware of toys... Umm, I have a vibrator, I did have, this one on hand, though it's still wrapped in plastic anyhow. So, you know I never used it.

[''hesitantly pulls doll towards himself''] alright, so we have so.. it's like... two things we can do here [''grabs doll and sticks vibrator up its backside''] you can put it up your, put it up your behind,

now, ya'll would be; your center of gravity would be a lot better than this ones [''takes vibrator out and places doll on its back, sticking vibrator into the frontside'']

and if you're doing this thing [''begins making out with doll, barely pulling vibrator in and out''] [inaudible~where?] [Inaudible~you'll play some more?]

[''takes vibrator out and looks at it before glancing up at camera''] and then of course I'll let the vibrator do it bzzzzzzz [''continues to make buzzing sound and sticks vibrator back into dolls front side, making a shaking motion?'']

I mean, it's pretty straight forward, so... [''puts vibrator back into drawer''] That's where I move on from that... part

Alright so lemme see whatdya'll wanna see, whatdya'll wanna see oh yeah [''kneels on bed''] the uh, piledriver [''stands on bed and begins to piledrive the sex doll'']

[''eventually kneels back down''] alright lemme see, the uh... well I forget the name but we're on our side for this one. [''lies down on side and presses doll up against his body with some struggle''] [donkey?] [inaudible~go like that?] yeah. And, it goes in there. [inaudible] [''begins to hump the sex doll'']

(PLEASE FINISH!)

== Trivia ==
* The Chandler Family still have their Christmas trees up 5 months after it was socially acceptable to do so.
* The Album behind Chris is A Bobbie Gentry single featuring Glenn Campbell.
* All hail the Sonic Totem.
* CWC finally mastered the spin move at 4:30.
== References ==
<references/>

==See also==

Lesbian Sex Audition

2016-06-01T07:54:50Z

Stevejohnsoncooler: added the mature tag

{{Hoonest}}
{{Transcription}}
'''IMG 3207''' is a [[Youtube]] Video [[Chris]] Uploaded on 30th of [[may_2016|May 2016]] in which he shows off his unappreciated acrobatic sexual prowess in hopes to impress a [[Tomgirl|lesbian]] couple, Sam and Ellen, who hoped to raise a baby au naturel. Its contents (though mercifully, he is wearing a bra, pants and tights), are a much more SFW version of [[For Julies Eyes Only]], which includes Chris explaining how he would please them in bed using a blow up doll, where he then over-explains many simple sexual activities while demonstrating them horribly, and lying about various things such as how what he just did was a "[[Lies|good workout]]" and that his [[duck]] is 7 inches long. When Chris tries more advanced positions he either predictably fails or does not realise they are nearly physically impossible with a partner who is not a blow up doll such as when he awkwardly helicopters the poor plastic lady on his crotch while humping. It is also revealed Chris seems to treat sex the same way he plays with his other toys, with him making silly sounds, humming childish tunes and immitating voices while pumping away. To be noted, Chris still believes the vagina goes up the the belly button, as seen shortly into the video, where he licks the dolls [[Obese|stomach]]. The video was previously mentioned in [[CWC Responds to a bully named Johan]], as Chris explained it was made to show Sam and Ellen how a natural birth was better and to compete with [[Johan]] who made his own video and led to Chris creating a poll to see who was better.
== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = IMG 3207
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eJjtZ0IJIEA}}
| stardate =31 [[May 2016]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = Bra and Tights
| previous = [[CWC vs Johan vote link]]
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}}

== Transcript==
Hello Sam and Ellen! It's Christine Chandler coming to you live from... my bedroom! Which is separate from my work room. Anyway, so, y'all wanna see a little.. play, huh?

[''starts removing bathrobe''] Yeah, I'm not naked, totally, but, to get the point across. [''higher pitched''] Enough to get the point across! So.. remembering from whatcha said, rule number one, the foreplay!

Hmm, make out... [''starts making out with the doll, eventually moving down to the breasts and chewing on its nipples''] Hmm. And it show... the pussy! I know where it is, the clitoris would be... [gibberish] assuming this would be the front, that'd be the back, cuz that's how big the hole is here. There's the clitoris, and the vagina's down here somewhere in the middle, and we don't wanna... hit the peehole which is in between.

I know about the labia... [''dives in and starts sucking the doll's crotch'']

[''flips the doll over''] And uh... not comfortable with it yet but I'll get around to it... uhh, I might definitely ask y'all to shower beforehand, but... we could try anal. [''starts eating the doll's ass'']

[''wiping his mouth''] Yeah... I'll definitely ask y'all to get that bleached. But anyway aside from that, um, yes I'm aware of toys... Umm, I have a vibrator, I did have, this one on hand, though it's still wrapped in plastic anyhow. So, you know I never used it.

[''hesitantly pulls doll towards himself''] alright, so we have so.. it's like... two things we can do here [''grabs doll and sticks vibrator up its backside''] you can put it up your, put it up your behind,

now, ya'll would be; your center of gravity would be a lot better than this ones [''takes vibrator out and places doll on its back, sticking vibrator into the frontside'']

and if you're doing this thing [''begins making out with doll, barely pulling vibrator in and out''] [inaudible~where?] [Inaudible~you'll play some more?]

[''takes vibrator out and looks at it before glancing up at camera''] and then of course I'll let the vibrator do it bzzzzzzz [''continues to make buzzing sound and sticks vibrator back into dolls front side, making a shaking motion?'']

I mean, it's pretty straight forward, so... [''puts vibrator back into drawer''] That's where I move on from that... part

Alright so lemme see whatdya'll wanna see, whatdya'll wanna see oh yeah [''kneels on bed''] the uh, piledriver [''stands on bed and begins to piledrive the sex doll'']

[''eventually kneels back down''] alright lemme see, the uh... well I forget the name but we're on our side for this one. [''lies down on side and presses doll up against his body with some struggle''] [donkey?] [inaudible~go like that?] yeah. And, it goes in there. [inaudible] [''begins to hump the sex doll'']

(PLEASE FINISH!)

== Trivia ==
* The Chandler Family still have their Christmas trees up 5 months after it was socially acceptable to do so.
* The Album behind Chris is A Bobbie Gentry single featuring Glenn Campbell.
* All hail the Sonic Totem.
* CWC finally mastered the spin move at 4:30.
== References ==
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==See also==