CWCki - User contributions [en]

Kellie Andes

2025-08-20T13:25:03Z

Stronax: /* After High School */

{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}
[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (circa [[2000]]).]]

{{quote|OMG guys it gets WORSE! I threw up a little in my mouth after watchinq this. If you have a weak stomach, turn back now.|Kellie's reaction to Chris several years after High School.<ref>[[December 2013 Facebook posts]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Andes''' was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Chris calls her his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are officially dating.

==During High School==
Kellie was Chris's lab partner in chemistry class at Manchester High, along with [[Gal pal#Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah Anne Bevel]]. Chris developed a crush on her in his sophomore year. She was apparently friendly enough with Chris to attend [[My big 18th party|his 18th birthday party]], where she gave him a jawbreaker.

==After High School==
Unlike most of his gal-pals, Chris managed to keep in touch with Kellie for some time after graduation. He gave her a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!#Other Releases|personalized CD]] for [[Christmas]] 2000. He claims to have called her every weekend for about a year to a year and a half. Then he stopped. He has told contradictory stories about why. In notes he made for his [[DVD]] in 2007, he said that the cause was [[noviophobia]]: "I was afraid that you [Kellie] may have moved on to someone who you may have called your sweetheart."<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts#CWC Note 3]]</ref> In 2009, however, he told [[Kacey]] that one week, he just forgot to call Kellie, and, having broken the routine, never resumed.<ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref> Even more confusing, while his May 2009 [[Wikipedia]] profile indicated that he believed that he could have gotten some from Kellie if he just hadn't been so damn shy, a few months later he told Kacey that his [[Barb|mother]] had informed him back in 2001 that Kellie obviously had a boyfriend at seinor prom, and that his weekly phone calls were in vain. In 2014, he changed his story again to make himself seem less clueless, implying that he had figured out for himself around graduation (not a year later) that Kellie was dating someone.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Ex-gal pals]]</ref>

His mother's eye-opener in 2001 that Kellie had been someone else's sweetheart all along was a "shock" to Chris that lasted for several weeks. It broke his last remaining tie to his high school life. It obviously contributed to his sense of loneliness and self-doubt.

Chris never had a chance with Kellie under any scenario. In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|2010 correspondence]], Kellie confirmed that Chris was definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie's true and honest opinion about Chris}}

Throughout 2013, as Chris planned the fifteenth annual Manchester High School reunion, he fantasized about hanging out with Kellie, but in reality she wanted nothing to do with him. In [[December 2013]], Kellie discovered Chris's antics since high school and provided some telling commentary. She shared a link on her [[Facebook]] page for Chris's [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]] video with the comment, "OMG guys it gets WORSE! I threw up a little in my mouth after watching this. If you have a weak stomach, turn back now."<ref>[[December 2013 Facebook Posts#It Gets WORSE!]]</ref> Chris admitted in 2014 that Kellie had blocked him on Facebook a few years earlier.

In [[February 2021]], [[Bella]] allegedly impersonated Kellie in a set of e-mails to Chris (misspelling her name as Kelly), which Chris responded to.<ref>[[Bella chats#Kelly Andes E-mails]]</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel]]'s name. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) is telling of Christian's obsession with his high school years.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997. Chris creepily included all four of her yearbook photos in his DVD scrapbook.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.
File:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|Chris's 18th birthday party. Kellie is second from the left.
Image:0562-KellieAndesAllAround.jpg|Kellie and [[wikipedia:Domonic Jones|Domonic Jones]] at the [[Manchester High School]] prom. He went on to play professional basketball, she went on to marry a firefighter and have two children. Chris drew unpublishable comics in his bedroom for ten years.
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Kellie and [[Chris]]
Image:0577-KellieWSchuSweater.jpg|Kellie modelling the finest Sonichu fashion
File:049-Songs4Kellie.jpg|"Songs 4 Kellie," his 2000 Christmas gift.
File:Lego Kellie Andes.jpg|[[LEGO]] Kellie. Chris made this in '''''2014'''''.
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{HighSchoolSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Andes, Kellie}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Virginia]]

Chris and his ego

2025-08-20T09:54:50Z

Stronax: /* The enablers */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Dated|[[Jail communications]], and details about the [[Idea Guys]] in the Naivete section}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|WELL, PRIDE IS NOT A SIN, FOR ONE NEEDS SOME SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE TO MOTIVATE THEMSELVES AND INSPIRE OTHERS WITH SOUL AND HEART.|CPU Blue Heart distinguishing "pride" from "arrogance", ignoring that "pride" can have both a positive and negative connotation.<ref>[[:File:JailArt17.jpg]]</ref>}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris and his personality|Chris's flaws]]. It is because of this egotism that Chris got so many trolls and why he is never going to have a Sweetheart.

[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|Chris strokes his ego by having two of [[Ben Saint]]'s characters admire him.|thumb|250px]]

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of a beloved wife, children, and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris and remorse#Shifting blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a psychopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. Quite simply, [[Chris and reality#In the real world|he grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. His paternal half-siblings managed to acquire doctorate degrees, becoming an eye doctor and a math expert respectively. They were able to develop and learn from the past.

Chris's development isn't just delayed – it is arrested. His {{w|egocentrism}} has persisted well into his forties when most children usually grow out of it around age seven. Autism isn't to blame entirely; while autistic people's idiosyncrasies can make them appear self-centered on the surface, only a few are self-absorbed. Most still have interest in others, and many get help to develop coping strategies and social skills. Not Chris, though.

Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Enablers|people]] [[White-Knighting|let him]].

===The enablers===
{{incomplete|information on how his parents enabled Chris}}
[[File:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris' first and biggest enablers were none other than his parents. From the day he was born, Chris was pampered, enabled and shielded from any accountability. Both parents already had a strained relationship with their first children due to their personalities. They vehemently refused to get Chris the help and therapy he needed in his childhood, even going so far as to move to another county, just so he can be mainstreamed. For starters, Barb imprinted her narcissistic tendencies on Chris, whereas Bob encouraged Chris not to get any work or become independent, just so he can live off the state for the rest of his life. It is possible that they set Chris up to be their caretaker, since their other children have forsaken them long ago.

Speaking of education, it can also be said the school system was yet another enabler in Chris's formative years. This was especially true at [[Manchester High]]. Chris's parents and the principal helped arrange the [[gal-pals]]. This has resulted in Chris developing a rather warped view on women and friends; they let Chris believe they were legitimate friends, but in reality, they only stayed close with him out of pity and/or to protect him from bullies. [[Manchester High Leaks|Chris received passing grades on schoolwork he didn't do correctly]], yet still eventually graduated on [[honor roll]] (or so he says), presumably out of excessive pity on the teachers' part. Were that indeed the case, it might have encouraged Chris to put in less than half-baked effort into things and yet act like the end result is something spectacular.

===The Information Superhighway===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet|Computers}}

A member of the {{w|Xennials|Oregon Trail generation}}, Chris has made many significant memories before 1991, when the {{w|World Wide Web}} made Internet access feasible for the masses<ref>"World Wide Web" and "Internet" are often used interchangeably, but they are different services. The Internet is a network and protocol for connecting computers, dating back to the 1960's. The Web ''uses'' the Internet to transfer resources such as documents via URL's, invented in 1991. [[How To Talk To Girls|One is the magnet, and the other is the metal]].</ref>. However, he would use the Internet regularly by the time he left [[high school]]. Born in [[1982]], he came of age in [[2000]], placing his childhood in a different millennium from his adulthood. Windows XP came out soon after, and with it came a multitude of "prosumer" creative programs, giving Chris something to do after kissing his [[gal-pals]] goodbye.

With these new programs, Chris could record and share his own [[music]], publish his comics online, and even create his own [[DVD]]. These services were previously reserved for professionals who had access to expensive studio equipment, but they were now in the hands of the masses. Later in the decade, Chris became involved with [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]], providing even more venues for self-publication. He no longer needed to wait for the [[Chris in the media|news media]] to notice him; he could ''be'' the media!

Chris joined YouTube much earlier than many more respected web-celebs, during a time when most people saw it as a silly cat video website, and not a viable career that people would genuinely desire having. But remember: this was Chris's closest brush with fame since the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local]] [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|news]].

===Blind luck and the cherry-picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel, partially because he doesn't have much else to do. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does - on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler - is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

===Big fish, small pond===
Chris is a small town [[transgender|girl]], living in a [[Saddest Heart in the World|lonely world]]. Let's take a look at the cities of his life:

* [[Ruckersville]] is such a tiny place that it only has one other notable resident: NASCAR driver Philip Morris, who is no Jeff Gordon or Danica Patrick.
* The neighboring city of [[Charlottesville]] is mostly relevant for [[UVA]], the Monticello, and a handful of political rallies. It is a historic town, but it still has a small-town feel. It offers suburban conveniences like public parks, movie theaters, and a multitude of strip malls, but it lacks the hallmarks of a big city.
* Chris's teenage environment, suburban [[Richmond]], is much more robust. However, Chris had a very sheltered adolescence and experienced little of what growing up in a large metropolitan area usually entails. Richmond also suffers from being far from any other major cities (except for Washington, DC).

Chris rarely visits big cities that would quickly humble him. He lives in a very isolated world; his hometown has a smaller population than some high schools, and it isn't really known for up-and-coming artists. His main frame of reference was his classmates. Many of them took art as an elective, without any plans of becoming professionals.

Additionally, him "succeeding in spite of his [[autism]]" might have only been relevant because the smaller school population made him one of the few autistic kids in class. In reality, autism is a fairly common condition that's more-often-than-not quite manageable with the right help and support, and many autistic kids grow up to be successful autistic adults.

Despite not being conventionally popular, Chris peaked in [[high school]]. He bases most of his merit on his various HS accomplishments, and he talks about the time as if it were the time of his life. He considers himself bilingual because he took [[Spanish]]. He takes pride in the fact that his school displayed his work publicly, even though schools do that all the time. Chris's [[Comic Chris|comic book incarnation]] bears a strong resemblance to his high school self. Comic Chris doesn't wear [[glasses]] (the real Chris didn't wear them until 1998), and he's in good shape (much like HS Chris, likely because of gym class). Chris would often bring up his placement on the [[Honor Roll]] as proof of his intelligence, and his mental health would sharply decline after graduation.

Chris has taken his big fish mentality out of his small pond and transferred it to the large ocean of the [[Internet]], not knowing that it's filled with much larger [[trolls|sharks]].

One of Chris's <s>trolls</s> [[sweetheart]]s, [[Catherine]], suggested that he ought to move to a place like San Francisco or Seattle, or anywhere outside suburban Virginia. She told him that these places are more LGBT-friendly and have more job prospects, and that these West Coast cities have higher minimum wages and more robust benefit and rehabilitation programs for autistic folks. She had several major points, but Chris just told her "but there's no San Francisco in Virginia," completely missing all of them. Wanting to have his cake and eat it too, Chris chose to stay in his small-town Southeastern bubble because it's easier for him, yet he would clearly benefit from living in a more developed, liberal-minded area.

In the same conversation, Chris stated the real reason for not leaving is that he doesn't want to leave his mother behind. Chris even brought up that he doesn't want to move out of state after Barb dies.<ref>[[Cousin Al#Bowling Outing]]</ref>

Chris did acknowledge the perks of moving out of his valley, but it's only logical for him to move out. What is a person obsessed with fame and art doing in a place known for neither? Why does a loud-and-proud bisexual trans woman want to live in a place where most residents are massively homophobic and/or anti-trans? Why does the world's most documented autistic person want to live in an area that, by his own admission, doesn't understand autistic people? And why does someone who desperately wants a compatible partner limit himself to a tiny dating pool and then resort to long-distance troll dating, when there probably ''is'' someone for him in the Los Angeles area? And why, just why, does Chris want to treat his [[14 Branchland Court|dwelling]] as a temple for all to flock to, when it's so remote that Google Street View still doesn't cover it?<ref>Street view last checked 9 June 2021</ref>

Because it's easy to be a big fish in a small pond, even after pissing off the other fish and getting [[banned]] from your favorite hangouts.

Self-aggrandizing is fairly common in the family, and they can generally get away with it because of the small-town mentality. Chris's family loves to bring up [[Bob]]'s injection molding patent. He claims that we wouldn't even have a simple water bottle without it. In reality, {{w|plastic injection molding}} was invented before Bob was born. The Wikipedia article doesn't even mention Bob. All he designed was a control panel for one specific machine that has become obsolete for decades. If Bob didn't design it, [[Asperchu|someone else would have]]. Even Cole Smithey, who managed to escape the Weston-Chandler household as a young adult and go on to have a fairly successful career, bills himself as "The smartest film critic in the world".

==Chris and narcissism==
{{quote|I, was mistaken, but not wrong|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>}}
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's unlikely that Chris actually suffers from {{w|narcissistic personality disorder}} (although [[Barbara Chandler|it's likely that someone else in his family]] does). While extreme self-centeredness and egotism is often conflated with the term 'Narcissism', NPD is also an existing mental condition characterized by more factors, such as emotional manipulation or split personalities for different people. Given the fact that Chris himself is too stupid to actually emotionally manipulate anyone, let alone [[Chris and manipulation|not get manipulated himself,]] Chris most likely isn't a narcissist in the real sense. However, it's possible that Barbara, who did employ plenty of abusive NPD-like traits such as suicide-baiting, might have influenced Chris's behavior in some ways. Chris actually mentioned, in a theatrical manner, considering suicide on his facebook posts several times, [[June 2014 Facebook Posts#And It Begins...|even for something as inconsequential as]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic the Hedgehog's arms being recolored blue]]. Another noticeable aspect is Chris's need to shove his own name, initials and [[Sonichu (character)|creations]] every chance he gets, specially other people's works, if it guarantees fame.

That said, while a lot of factors like his relentless attention-whoring or his lack of empathy coincide with symptoms of the Disorder, factors of his ego were mostly results of his shitty upbringing and awful luck for winning contests giving him a huge sense of self-importance. Not to mention [[Chris and kindness|his lack of empathy for others]] was also partly caused by his autism. If Chris ''does'' have NPD, he likely has a [[Slow in the minds|low functioning]] variant of the disorder, and it may be hard to delineate his potential NPD symptoms from established ASD ones. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other [[Unholy Quintet|laughed-at-not-with dumbass]] on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]".

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention - good or bad - that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

{{quote|I realize I am famous like a princess|Chris on Twitter in October 2017}}

{{quote|Notable resident in Ruckersville, VA alongside a NASCAR racer, and about the 29,000th most popular individual in this world, so where is the Wikipedia Article about me? ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris on Twitter in August 2018}}

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like [[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|this]], [[Chris and health#Hygiene|no less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:CWCPOGS.jpeg|As pogs.
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris-chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|''Skylanders'' avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his ''Skylanders'' avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' character.
File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|It's just getting ridiculous.
File:Chris, Night Star Equestria Girls Mini dolls3.jpg|Christine Doll 2.0, next to Night Star, both blatant self-inserts.
File:ChrisFunkos.jpg|As Funkos.
File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card featuring many of his self-inserts.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|walking through the valley of the shadow of death]].]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

Compounding this was him also having to deal with a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS kept spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

A great example of Chris's persecution complex is the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video, where Chris blamed the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life - from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate - thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. One of the only times Chris ever actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was when he [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|accidentally erased]] his [[PS3]]'s data.

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates honesty with [[Honest Content|divulging every last detail about his life]]. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[semen]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|having incestuous dreams]], or even giving away his phone number and home address. The only thing he ''hasn't'' done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]], threatening his identity, and - most damaging of all - playing into his otherworldly delusions and fantasies. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), and her having him produce [[Forgot the Glitter|many]] [[Cakefarts|embarrassing]] [[Who's Your Brony?|videos]], Chris would continually renew his relationship with her.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

Over the years, however, Chris's gullibility would come back in varying ways, reaching a boiling point in [[2017]] when the [[Idea Guys]] got a hold of him. As it turned out, the easiest way to exploit Chris's gullibility was to appeal to his habit of [[Chris and coping|escapism]], especially during the [[Financhu Crisis|general turmoil]] he faced around the time. The Idea Guys heavily exploited him by near-permanently altering his [[CWCville|fantasy world]] and state of mind, with their effects so harsh that even when their iron grip was let go the following year, Chris continues to believe [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|the things they put into his head]]. Most infamously, he now believed he was a [[CPU Blue Heart|goddess]] - and later on, the outright reincarnation of [[Messiah complex|Jesus Christ]] - who would bring forth a [[dimensional merge]] on the world that, among other things, would take care of problems like his financial debt.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at his high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]] not realizing that public schools display students' art all the time.}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call, it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''{{w|confirmation bias}}''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "a parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris's series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.
[[File:The Captain congratulates Chris for 'providing a good service'.png|thumb|right|In [[Sonichu Special 5]], Chris found a way to twist a situation in which he was [[Guard Dogs|being helped]] into Chris himself doing the helping, ending up with him receiving praise from [[The Captain|a fictionalised version of one of the people trying to help him out]].]]

A more recent example of Chris's pride and ego superseding the efforts of people around him can be seen in [[Sonichu Special 5]], in which [[The Captain]] vociferously praises Chris, flanked by [[Sonichu (character)|his]] [[Rosechu (character)|creations]] - for 'provide[ing] a good service to us all in this world', when in reality, the opposite was true; Chris had been manipulated by the Idea Guys, and The Captain, a member of the [[Guard Dogs]], was the actual person providing said services in attempting to break Chris free of their influence.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|crap]] that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has [[Chris and money|absolutely no concept of money]], and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Barbara would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He's compulsively hoarded all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively bought everything he could on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played, but the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of [[Slow-in-the-minds|intellectual disability]] in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents, especially Barb. Not even a [[2014 house fire|house fire that set most of his items ablaze]] or [[Jail Saga|getting exiled from said house]] can stop his hoarding habits.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming [[death threats]] at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also support this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's posts contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards mating, thumbnails of lesbian sex, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a [[china]]-shaped lemon - which he even ''bragged'' about how his [[Trolls|haters]] would be offended by it.

If Chris is banned from a website, he will often simply make a new account to circumvent it - even if this violates the website's rules, which is another thing he refuses to accept. Similarly, if he is blocked by somebody he wants to talk to, he might even construct [[Night Star|a fake account under the guise of one of his OCs]] to bypass the block.

===Surrendering Information===
{{Main|Honest Content}}

If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. His enthusiastic revelation of his own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times, with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a ''MythBusters'' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his naysayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris's experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post, in particular, revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brush fire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

In 2021, this would eventually prove to be Chris's ultimate downfall. In late [[July 2021]], Chris told [[Bella]] that he had [[Affair with Mother|sexual intercourse with Barbara Chandler, his own ''mother'']], even going so far as to describe the acts in [[Honest Content|uncomfortably graphic detail]]. One would think that Chris, [[Chris and reality|being in the highly delusional state that he was in at the time]], could have easily been dismissed here, ''until'' he confirmed that it was all true when pressed for the truth by [[Dillin Thomas]]. As a consequence, many horrified listeners immediately contacted law enforcement, as incest is a Class 5 Felony in Virginia. Even more consequences would follow: Chris was removed from his home via an [[Emergency Protective Order]] and became the center of a humongous media circus that even had [[Ween|weens]] tracking him down in real-life, resulting in his eventual arrest on stream on the 1 August 2021.

===Fishing for sympathy===
{{quote|I... am so... smart! And yet I still have to- still learn everyth- I still n- have so much to learn.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref>}}

In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the [[Father Call]], where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter; said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet, which Chris felt was on par with Matthew carrying his dead friend's body during the war. In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, with his Facebook and Twitter entries blaming his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler (and his friend, Anna McLerran) is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris's mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

The habit of wanting sympathy is so ingrained in Chris that he instinctively hedges when he makes a positive statement about himself. An example is from a video in which he said, "I am so smart," and immediately followed by downplaying it and saying he still had much to learn.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[White-Knighting|white knights]]. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 9.jpg|thumb|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Slow-in-the-minds

2025-08-20T09:05:02Z

Stronax:

{{quote|I am Sometimes Retarded.|[[Chris]]<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>}}

{{Quote|I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional [sic]; it would be like looking through a Window to Hell to me.|Chris on other autistic people, [[IRC (17 December 2008)]]}}

[[File:That-cwc-look.jpg |thumb|200px|Chris, thinking.]]

"'''Slow-in-the-minds'''" and "'''slow-minded'''" are [[CWC-isms]] that refer to developmentally disabled, cognitively delayed, crazy, and/or generally unintelligent people (other than [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] himself, [[Ego|of course]]). The term was first seen in a 1999 [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Help_This_Unborn_Child|high school assignment]] about prenatal development, where Chris identified various factors that could cause newborn children to have "slow minds". It also showed up in his school project "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]".

"Slow-in-the-minds" hits a fine trifecta of points. One, it displays Chris's [[Ego|arrogance]], seeing as how it applies to so many classes of people, all of whom he considers "slower" than he. Two, it shows Chris's [[Chris and his ego|lip-service attention to fitting into society]], it sounds incredibly ableist, and is just a childish euphemism. Three, there's a [[Chris and hypocrisy|delicious irony]] in Chris decrying students who are "slow in the mind" when [[Honor roll|he never was the brightest candle on the cake]] unlike his highly intelligent half-siblings or most of the people he hates.

In a number of responses from the [[Mailbag]], Chris has explained that he finds the mentally challenged (especially those with physical [[duck|deformities]]) creepy, likening them to zombies.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref> In [[June 2013]], when someone on the [[CWCki Forums]] suggested that Chris date someone who was "mildly mentally retarded," Chris replied, "would YOU, in full honesty, full truth, in your right mind, at all, date a 'Special Girl'? How would you feel if you woke up the next morning with droning moaning and blather coming from the face next to you?"<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (paintingatree)#Re: Should Chris Consider Dating A 'Special' Girl?]]</ref> Chris's bigotry extends to his fellow [[Autism|autistics]] — he speaks in incredibly cruel and derisive terms about the various mental and physical problems that are thrust upon these innocent individuals, whereas he, as a self-proclaimed "[[Chris and his Ego|high-functioning]]" autistic, is pure and clean.

Despite that he seems to barely consider low-functioning autistics human, Chris often styles himself as a spokesperson for autism, making a stand against [[Asperger syndrome]] in the non-existent conflict between autism and Aspergers. This delusion is made most apparent in the [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article on Aspergers]]. It has been suggested that Chris says these things to make himself look good, and also to complain that he should be receiving the care and attention that those with Aspergers receive.

Chris seems to interpret the "high-functioning" part of his diagnosis as a compliment, giving him the best of both worlds: he can blame any of his shortcomings on his autism, but still console himself with the fact that he's "high-functioning" and therefore better than the "slow-in-the-minds".

[[Image:Chris_and_Rule_34.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is also a slow-in-the-mind]]

==Uses by Chris==
Chris's use of this term has evolved over the years. Early on, he pointedly distinguished between the "slow-minded" and himself. In late 2009 and onward, however, he began referring to himself as "a little slow" or "sometimes slow", once he discovered he could use it as an excuse for his many failings.

* In [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], Chris described his peers on his school bus as "slow-in-the-minds."
* In [[Sub-Episode 6]], when exploring the ecology of the [[Jerkop]], Chris noted that "slow-minded people" are susceptible to becoming Mary Lee Walsh's rent-a-cop slaves. He added that because he is, of course, not slow-in-the-mind, he is immune to the "hypno-gun" that brainwashes the Jerkops.
* [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]] featured, among other things, Chris attempting to correct the "misconception" that he is a "slow-minded person."
* In a [[IRC (18 December 2008)|December 2008 IRC chat]], when asked to give an example of learning from his mistakes, Chris said, "when it was spelled out for me that a sign by my side made me look slow-minded, when clearly I am not."
* Chris mentioned the same incident in a [[Chris_E-mails_2007#February|2007 e-mail]] to his old schoolteacher Virginia Sanford: "I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the 'R' Word."
* Conversing with his "fans" in [[Mumble 8]], Chris claimed, "For the record, I'm not, I'm not slow in the mind."
* While mocking a (legitimately mentally disabled) fan of his [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Naïve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|on YouTube]], Chris said, "You’re so [[naïve]] and slow in the mind."
* In [[Kacey Call 5]], Chris admitted "that I'm a little bit re-, that I'm a little bit slow sometimes."
* In [[Kacey Call 9]], Chris referred to a fellow high school student as "this one slow-minded individual named Tony" who "just kept on making all the moanings and noises and whatnot."
* During the [[Father Call]], Chris said, "I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments."
* In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article]] on Asperger's syndrome, Chris admitted that "my mentality is sometimes slow."
* While begging off from some of the difficult questions he faced in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]], Chris whined about how "Sometimes my mind's a little slow."
* In the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris referred to Virginia gubernatorial candidates [[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]] and [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Creigh Deeds]] as being "not so swift."
* In [[Jackie Chat 8]], Chris admitted that "I sometimes feel mentally slow."
* Likewise, in a July 2010 [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mail to Jackie]], he said "I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such." This became a recurring theme in Chris's conversations with Jackie, as he repeatedly tried to use his "slow-mindedness" as an excuse. The [[Jackie E-mails 20|20th collection of e-mails]] has a few good examples.
* Talking about his high school days in the [[Lars Call]], Chris said, "Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before."
* Chris admitted to his private Facebook friends in [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#I Don't Know|February 2012]], "I'm slow on the take sometimes to often."
* At their December 2014 [[Catherine#The bowling outing|bowling outing]], Chris told [[Catherine]] and her [[Cousin Al|cousin Al]] that the person responsible for the paperwork allowing him and his mother to move back into [[14 Branchland Court]] after the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] was "a senile slow-in-the-mind."

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]
*[[Jackie Chat 9]], where Chris discusses his experiences on the short bus.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and negotiation

2025-08-20T08:49:37Z

Stronax: /* Mary Lee Walsh */

{{Needs Images}}
{{quote|Shut Up and Buy My Toys, please.|Chris, to a potential customer.<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Autographs removed from toys]]</ref>}}

[[File:Executiveprotestcard.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris and his Mary Sue ponysona, [[Night Star]], "negotiating" with the perpetually smiling executives of Hasbro over his [[My Little Pony Protests|desire for ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' to continue]] as depicted in one of his [[TSSSF]] cards.]]

While dealing with Chris, [[trolls]] often experience his unique form of '''negotiation'''. Due to a severe sense of [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]], a [[Barbara Chandler|lifetime of coddling]] and [[autism|other factors beyond his control]], Chris has no grasp of how to compromise and often fails to understand what sort of bargaining position he's in.

Often, [[trolls]] blackmailing Chris will find him making demands of them as if he were the one with leverage. Conversely, some have experienced the oddity of having Chris run away from a situation where he was purposely given the upper hand. When it comes to dealing with Chris directly, one can only expect that he will always take the path of least resistance, even if it doesn't benefit him.

==Concept of compromise==
Negotiation is based on compromise. Both parties must work together and make concessions to each other to find the best possible solution to their problems in a satisfactory manner. Chris doesn't understand this, and arguably ''cannot'' understand this, given his severely stunted ability to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings that differ from his own. Being completely ego-centric, Chris believes that, in any exchange, both parties must share the same viewpoint: his. Chris can't stand any form of prolonged confrontation and quickly tires if his demands aren't met exactly as he has made them.

On numerous occasions, Chris has tried to negotiate either by making ridiculous demands or outright refusing to give anything up (or do anything at all for that matter). After he makes his case, his mind is "closed on the matter" and he is unwilling to budge. When further pressed, he often shuts down completely and walks away from the table, into the waiting arms of his [[PlayStation 3]].

Other times, Chris just asks whoever he has bothered if both of them can just "forgive and forget". He said this to Michael Snyder when asking about being unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] two years after his original ban. That may be somewhat understandable, but Chris also tried this same excuse a day after he doxed [[Mr. Smith]].

It's worth stating that Chris once claimed [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was "a very strong negotiator" and that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] "used to have better negotiation skills"<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#Browsing Kiwi Farms]]</ref>. Given their history of [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|feuds]] [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School#The_aftermath|with]] [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris Gets the Boot|authority]] on Chris's behalf, it's safe to assume where his approach to conflict-solving (and that's putting it charitably) had come from.

==Chris's Attempted Negotiations==
===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
{{quote|Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following: -I will never hang notes on the wall again. -I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan. -I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my scale of Respect each by 2 points (0<nowiki>=</nowiki>No Respect...10<nowiki>=</nowiki>Respect).|<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004|emails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|thumb|Because "depicting someone you don't like as a comic villain" ranks higher than "disobeying and raging at an authority figure" in terms of regrettable mistakes, according to Chris.]]

One of the earliest examples of Chris's attempts at negotiations was in [[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004|emails]] between [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and himself, shortly after she arranged a meeting to discuss his [[Attraction Sign|relationship-soliciting]] on campus. Instead of apologizing, Chris vowed to "never hang notes on the wall again", and to consider "stopping my Silent Treatment" of Susan Hannifan, a PVCC Guidance Counselor<ref>[http://www.pvcc.edu/counseling_services/disability_services.php PVCC's website page on their disability services]</ref>, in exchange for letting him continue distributing [[Sonichu%27s News Dash|his newsletter]] and cancelling the meeting. To further sweeten the deal, Chris offered to "knock[...] [Walsh] and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points". Ignoring the horrible choice of words in regards to "[[Hanky-panky|knocking up]]" two of his female superiors, Chris believed that an imaginary measurement of his personal opinion was an extremely important bargaining chip. This is an example of how Chris behaves in negotiations where he wants something from another person - by offering minimal effort on his part, but expecting full returns from the other party, even when Chris is in no position to demand anything.

[[2009|About five years]] after the conflict resulted in temporary expulsion, Chris expressed interest in putting aside his differences with Walsh (after graduating three years prior, mind you). However, rather than admit to repeated misconduct on campus up to and ''including'' aggression towards her, he focused squarely on designing a villain bearing her name as something to be [[Chris and remorse|remorseful]] of, leading to Chris personally delivering a hand-framed "apology" drawing to the PVCC (when he could have easily tried contacting her by e-mail, provided she hadn't blocked his address).

To make a long story short, Chris expected someone he had a petty grudge on and previously made into his own personal target of revenge fantasy to graciously accept this ludicrous, incinsere attempt at reconciliation and [[Mailbag 26#Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL|when she inevitably did not, his hatred of her instantly reignited]]. Even that was [[Apology Letters#Mary Lee_Walsh Apology|not the final time]] he demanded she make peace with him ([[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|and repeal his ban from the PVCC]]), similarly failing to acknowledge any mistake he had made other than drawing up a malevolent fictional counterpart. This presumably failed to cut ice likewise.

===[[Shigeru Miyamoto]]===
During the Nintendo saga, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] stated that Chris must meet him at Nintendo's American headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Chris handled this by making a [[CWC Update 26 January 2009|video]] where he pretended to come back from Redmond when he never left the house. Chris demanded that the CEO of an international company come to HIS house and meet with him. When Chris was pressed as to why the meeting had to be at his house, Chris said that he had no money. When he was asked why he had no money, he said he had no job. When he was asked why he didn't have a job, Chris made various excuses and cited his very brief employment at [[Wendy's]]. He also insulted Miyamoto, asking him "Are you the "Mario" who Plays Fair, or the "Bowser/Koopa" who Cheats and Lies?" This sort of "pass the buck" attitude is very common when dealing with Chris. Nothing negative can ever be his fault.

===[[Audiobooks]]===
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|Never considered softly manipulating your target of death threats into giving you money? Only a ''[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]'' like Chris would think of such a negotiation tactic.]]

In [[2009]], Chris came into contact with [[Vivian Gee]], a [[white knight]] who eventually turned into a troll. Vivian was very helpful to Chris at first, but Chris refused to hear any of her input. As a result, their relationship soured, and Vivian started a popular ''Sonichu'' parody audiobook that Chris despised. [[4 September 2009|Chris ranted and raved]], demanding that the audiobooks be removed. They were not. One month later, Chris quickly changed his tune. After taking out a [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] on the [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|''name'' "Sonichu"]], Chris believed he now had magical copyright powers and demanded that Vivian give him 25% of all the profits she'd made from the audiobooks (which was $0). Overnight, something that he had made death threats over became not only welcome but highly sought after.

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
When Jack stole Chris's [[PSN]] accounts, Chris asked him "Why don't you come down to my house yourself in person, unless you are the cowardly weakling?" Jack had to remind him that he (Jack) held all the cards, and Chris was in no position to make demands.

===[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]===
After his parents ordered that he remove all copies of his [[Tour of Chris's House|video tour of]] [[14 Branchland Court]] from the Internet, Chris made another video in which he made his demand that all the copies of the tour which had been uploaded by trolls be taken down. Rather than calmly and politely explaining that the videos posed a threat to the safety of his family (which would likely have gotten at least ''some'' of the trolls to remove their copies), Chris loudly shrieks like a child and even turns his demands from being idiotic to being vaguely insulting by admitting it was his fault for uploading the videos, then immediately threatening the trolls with detectives and police if they didn't immediately do as he asked. Humorously, [[Bob]] does a better job at mentioning how serious the situation is, but because Chris didn't include his speech in the final video, the damage the trolls would cause in result was inevitable.

===[[Sweetheart]] [[saga]]s===
Whenever Chris wants to meet one of his "sweethearts" in real life, he usually wants them to come to him, no matter how difficult such a trip would be. He wanted [[PandaHalo]] to come to him despite her living in Australia. He wanted [[Julie]] to come to him even though she was supposedly a poor immigrant who couldn't afford a car or bus fare. He wanted [[Kacey]] to come to him even though she lived in the D.C. area, which is an hour or so from Ruckersville.

One of Chris's sweethearts, [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], was willing to have a relationship with him as long as he tried to become a better person. Instead of trying to put more effort and try to better himself, he decided to end things.

During the Julie saga, Chris made several deals with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[The Miscreants]], all of which he reneged on:

*In the first deal, Chris agreed to do a video where he came out of the closet to save Julie's life. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Take 1|first take]], he called himself a "[[gaybian]]", which was done so that he could somehow say he was gay without actually calling himself gay. He did a [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Take 2|second take]] where he clearly stated that he was being forced to say he was gay. When he finally did call himself a homosexual, he mumbled it and stated he was "guhhhhh".

*The second deal was that Chris would clean his room to save Julie's life and that he would do a video to prove it was clean. To avoid having to clean his room, he merely pushed some of his stuff aside and filmed his floor for 30 seconds before he did his [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|Captain's Log]].

*The final deal resulted in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] call. [[BlueSpike]], as both Julie and her kid brother Max, had gained access to Chris's [[PSN]] account. In the guise of Max, he offered Chris an ultimatum: The [[PSN]] and Yahoo! accounts or Julie. In a conversation before the call, Chris told Max that he chose Julie, believing that, like in the movies and TV, he would get both back for "making the right choice". Right when "Max" put "Julie" on, Chris immediately asked "her" to get his PSN and Yahoo! back. Failing that, he tried to guilt Max into giving it back to him. In the main call, Max gives Chris one last chance to change his choice. He sticks with Julie, despite the hold that his PSN account has over him. When Max threatened to sell his account on eBay, he revealed that he "made the right choice" and that he deserves his PSN.

===Chris, [[CWCipedia]] captain===
When Chris was given his own wiki for free, he demanded complete executive control from day one. In his mind, this meant that every demand he made would be fulfilled by the staff and that anything done without his permission would be removed immediately. He insisted on a gaudy background, and [[CWCipedia#Traitorous mutiny|threatened to stop working]] whenever the [[Cogsdev|webmaster]] displeased him. Later, when Jack Thaddeus graciously paid for the CWCipedia's webspace with ads featuring homoerotic images, Chris went on a tirade and immediately demanded that they be taken down, yet refused to even consider paying for his website. When removal failed, he said that he wanted them to be smaller, as if he had some say in how large advertisements were. Chris had no concept of how advertising worked but merely assumed that he had the final say in everything.

Later, during the "popularity contest" between ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and ''[[Asperchu]]'', he tried to make amends with [[Alec Benson Leary]] to remove ''Asperchu'' ads from the front page of the CWCipedia. However, instead of making reparations, Chris demanded that Alec tell his fans to go back to ''Sonichu''. Chris, who was in no position to make requests, attached several "clauses" to his apologies. Chris's list of demands was larger than the apology they were bundled with. All of this came after Chris drew a comic where he broke into Alec's house, stole a dating game from his [[Xbox|Xbox 360]], blew up said Xbox, and freed a group of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] that he implied were the victims of sexual abuse. After finally fulfilling most of Alec's requests in a substandard and slapdash manner, Chris graphically killed him, his webmaster and two other comic artists in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as some sort of childish form of revenge.

===[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]===
[[Image:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Refusing to help Chris terrorize a retail setting [[Unban contracts|proves you are a most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person]]]]

Less than two years after getting banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris wouldn't take no for an answer, so he decided to try and persuade Michael Snyder to let him resume patronage. When an apology attempt was met with point-blank rejection (as well as [[Chris and race|an anti-Semitic insult]] and a call to the police), Chris demanded his fanbase harass Mike in retribution on his behalf. Unfortunately for Chris, his decision to record the altercation as "evidence", in case he needed to prove ''he'' was faced with aggression, led to his "fans" praising Mike for sticking to his guns against Chris.

===PlayStation Network===
Chris's PSN account was victim to getting hacked by trolls numerous times, who'd make various demands. The most common of these demands is that he sell or throw out some of his beloved toys or games. Despite his claims that he plays with everything in his room, a glance at his PSN account shows otherwise. Most of his PSN activity is divided between ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', ''[[God of War]] 3'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', which leaves most of his [[List of Chris's games|vast collection of games]] untouched. Even though he doesn't use the majority of the toys and games he owns, he refuses to sell them. This refusal is usually followed up by him saying that he doesn't have the money to do something that would improve his life.

Between late [[August 2010]] and early [[September 2010]], Chris was met with the opportunity (not really) of gaining $9,001 in exchange for the [[The MovingForward videos|destruction of]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|his PS3]]. Needless to say, [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|it didn't go well]]. The bounty was only for trolls and was, in turn, fake. However, Chris tried to haggle (albeit ''very'' poorly) with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] to get something that never existed. The ultimate result of this was Chris [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|actually waiting for his money at the Charlottesville Fashion Square]] after being tricked into going there. After realizing he had been tricked, he ended by telling them to "go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like [[South Park|Eric Cartman]], and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn [[Sex toys|Darth Maul Dual Light Saber]]."

===[[3DS Flipnote|Flipnote Studio on 3DS]]===
In one of Chris's many [[Flipnote Studio]] creations, he requests that Nintendo port the software to their 3DS platform. In typical Chris fashion, his animation consists of him [[Chris and anger|yelling loudly]] and demanding that Nintendo bring the software to the 3DS. Chris had sped his voice up to the point where it's hard to decipher what he's saying, but he assumes that being loud will get you what you want. Throughout the entire animation, his tone of voice and choice of words suggest that [[Chris and his Ego|he's under the impression that he's some sort of spokesperson]] for all Flipnote users. Nintendo eventually released ''Flipnote Studio 3D'' in [[February 2015]].

===[[Calling Out]]===
Returning to [[YouTube]] after an 8-month hiatus, Chris decided to confront two of his trolls, [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]], over what they've done and demanded that Tito apologize to Sony over the hackings and to [[The Wallflower]] (using her real name, too) for "breaking them up", then give him [[Chris and money|$1000]], and telling Thorg to apologize for putting up pictures years ago and to put up a non-slanderous billboard saying that Chris is [[STRAIGHT]]. He also wants them to remove all contributions to the [[CWCki]]. If these weren't done, he'd reveal their pictures and possible other dox and have the trolls troll them.

Unlike the incident involving Clyde Cash resulting in [[Twin Falling Towers|a very poorly-made decision]], Chris honestly believed he had the upper hand and could finally pay back against some of his trolls. However, what he was doing wasn't a negotiation, but an [[Chris and the Law|extortion]], expecting these goals to be completed or they were to suffer the consequences with Chris doing nothing on his part.

===[[eBay]] and [[Craigslist]] sales===
Chris's idea of salesmanship is interesting, to say the least. He attempts to sell mostly old, broken or worthless items and tends to demand many times the item's actual value in exchange, often non-negotiable. An early example was his attempt to sell an ancient television on Craigslist, demanding ''$250'' for a piece of junk he'd be lucky to sell for a tenth of that sum.

Since then, he has become a much more prolific e-merchant. He whittled away [[2014]] charging thousands of dollars for his "[[art]]" on eBay, showing that he is still [[Chris and reality|delusional]] enough to [[Chris and his Ego|vastly overestimate his e-fame and artistic talent]]. Similarly, he tried to sell his late father's replica of a Stradivarius violin for almost ''$100,000'', as if he believed that a violin with a manufactured label saying it was made in the 1950s on its interior could be the real thing. He even attempted to sell his and his mother's ancient, barely-functioning cars. Typical of Chris, he's demanded thousands of dollars for cars which are worth maybe a few hundred (as scrap). He also characteristically demanded that the deal in question is of a "no-haggle" nature, even when setting unrealistic asking prices on sites where haggling is often the norm.

Needless to say, most of Chris's merchandise either go unsold, or he is forced to accept a more realistic price for it. We can only assume the rest is bought by his [[Trolls|most avid fans]] who [[Medallions#Obtaining medallions|glory in the opportunity to possess samples of his fine work]].

However, Chris may not just ask for ridiculous prices in exchange for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitty]] [[Medallions#Mark 2|possessions]] because he's taking his prospective buyers for [[Naïve|fools]], but because [[Chris and money|he doesn't know the first thing about value]]. Consider his lavish spending sprees that transcend his ability to fund them; his parents taught him nothing about the value of money, which he thinks can be pissed away nonchalantly. He also struggles with measurement, as evidenced by his estimation of a 12-pack of canned lemonade weighing 50 pounds, a symptom of [[autism]], it's possible that his incompetence in this regard also extends to an estimation of value.

The reality, however, could also be something much more sinister. The high prices he sets for his goods may not be due to ignorance of value, but a symptom of his abject materialism and hoarding, inherited from [[Barb]]. It's possible that Chris is so attached to and obsessed with his material possessions that he seriously finds his ludicrous prices an acceptable consolation for him to have to give up part of his precious hoard.

===[[Unban contracts]]===
[[Image:Gamestop 02.jpg|thumb|Notice the small print, wherein Chris accidentally gives [[Manajerks]] further reason to keep him out of their establishments.]]

In [[October 2016]], Chris delivered contracts to at least two stores (GameStop and Best Buy) from which he was banned. In these contracts (which were likely not signed), he puts in a clause stating the stores in question can't call the [[JERKOPS|police]] against him (making the contract null and void, since contracts can't protect against prosecution.) He also wants the managers to "forgive and forget," and claims that not signing proves they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person."

===[[Sonic World]]===
If, for whatever reason, you needed further proof that Chris hasn't learned from previous failures at negotiation, the trouble he got into with the Sonic World Discord server in late 2020 is a perfect example.

Chris took Cirrusfire's Sonichu character mod and reposted it with considerable alterations (i.e. replacing the soundbites and character bio with what he made) and absolutely zero permission from the modder whatsoever. After he was rightfully kicked from the Discord server for this unwanted misuse of someone else's hard work (as well as [[December_2020_social_media_posts#Chris_.22setting_the_record_straight.22|an egocentric tirade on his Twitter]] with more expression of his delusions), he went to have a word with Cirrusfire himself.

Instead of acknowledging he had done something wrong and offering to work things out ([[Chris and remorse|which no one would expect from Chris by this point anyway]]), he opted to berate Cirrusfire. Not only was he under the impression that him crediting the modder and Sonic World being a non-profit fan project would justify meddling with data unauthorized, but he also proceeded to claim ''[[Chris and his ego|he]]'' was hurt by his so-called act of "generosity" to help Cirrusfire be "made famous" and outright accuse him (along with others in the server) of being [[Chris and hypocrisy|"ungrateful and selfish"]].

Sure enough, [[List of places that have banned Chris#Sonic World DX|Chris was eventually banned from the server]], no closer to getting what he wanted than every previous conflict he failed to amicably resolve by his own fault.

===[[Jail Saga|In court]]===
When Chris was arrested in [[August 2021]], he found himself before the courts to be arraigned for the charges. After being reminded that said appearance was to determine if he would be given bond or not (based on his likeliness to appear on trial and if he, the defendant, constituted a danger to himself and others,) Chris made demands that [[Chris and reality|he be let home]] to collect [[Toys|his things]], but not before risking contempt of court by doing things such as stomping his feet in anger and interrupting the judge several times with inane outbursts such as: "I'm famous on the internet!"

Needless to say, the judge was not impressed with this petulant behavior, and ruled that Chris be held without bond until his preliminary hearing on 16 [[September 2021]].<ref name="initial_trial">[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Greene County Record] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref>

==Attempted Negotiations with Chris==
===Simonla===
[[Evan]] created Simonchu as a joke, giving permission to use him in the comic, but then Chris decided to instead make his own female version named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. This (along with [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails|Chris openly lying that he was given permission to alter the character]]) roused Evan's ire considerably and started a long fight for the future of a recolor OC. Evan demanded that Chris remove Simonla from the comic and Chris, naturally, was tenacious in his attempts to prevent Simonla from meeting her untimely demise. At first, Chris simply ignored Evan's orders. Then ([[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly|after plans to include Simonchu as Simonla's brother didn't appease Evan]]) Chris later contrived a new excuse to disregard the wishes of a perceived foe and keep what rightfully wasn't his: [[Chris and reality|that Simonla was happily living in CWCville with a boyfriend and it would be a cruel violation of her rights to kill her for good]].

Evan gave further demands but Chris continued to dig in his heels, even [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|nonchalantly explaining his egocentric delusions to]] [[Alec Benson Leary]] in an attempt to justify sparing a stolen OC. Only after considerable arguments and the [[CWCipedia]] eventually getting shut down by force did Chris ''finally'' budge and even then, it amounted to no more than a toilet explosion as her cause of death. And to say nothing of the "revenge" Chris graphically dished out to a fictionalized portrayal of Evan afterwards.

==Chris's tactics==
===Ignoring reality===
When Chris is faced with a task requiring any effort on his part (no matter how minimal) or involves something that does not benefit him, he completely ignores it. Chris automatically disregards anything that will not benefit him immediately, or almost immediately. The hardest part of negotiating with Chris is that, if you make a demand that he does not agree to, he shuts down. Like a spoiled infant, Chris will not even deal with something that isn't self-serving and easy.

On the other hand, when you have something Chris wants, Chris will not give up until he has acquired it - on his terms. When the road to a reward has a sign that bluntly says Chris is not eligible, he will attempt to get the reward anyway or claim that the rules are discriminatory and unfair. Chris will pursue his goal thoughtlessly and simple-mindedly - expending great resources in the process - often ignoring even the idea that he might not get what he wants. In the process, he frequently acts as if he has some sort of leverage even in situations where this is manifestly not the case — he continually made demands of the CWCipedia's administrators, for instance, even though they had full control over the website and he had none.

Also (whether you think it's due to being [[naïve]] about how real-world humans work or a failed attempt at deliberate manipulation), Chris seems to assume that if it comes straight from his mouth in a situation where he expects complete benefits, what he says would (and should) be immediately accepted by the other party, willfully ignoring literally ''anything'' to signify he is neither True nor Honest. His many [[Chris and remorse|"apologies"]], for one thing, which he seems to think will make anyone denying him what he wants change their mind and let him live a consequence-free lifestyle (which of course is largely because of Chris actively defying established rules and norms for socially acceptable behaviour in the first place).

===Altering reality===
In some instances (the rare ones that he does what he was instructed to), anything said or done he feels slandered his good name he will simply state are lies and instruct everyone to ignore them, then will [[Mailbag 2|close his mind]] on the subject. This is retarded for two reasons. By telling his "fans" to ignore the lies, he is alerting "fans" that are a little behind on what's happening with Chris of their existence, making more people see them than would have if he didn't acknowledge them. He is also showing he is aware of their existence, and still insisting they are lies.

As mentioned above, Chris will also expect any lie he makes in a conflict where he is hopeful to get something he wants to be taken at face value, no matter what. To name one specific case, whilst on the verge of facing legal action if he didn't stop using Simonla in his comic, Chris claimed that he could've easily come up with the character entirely on his own and later edited Simonla's CWCipedia entry with a false statement that no OC theft ever occurred. Predictably enough, no one bought this lie.

===Delays===
[[File:PornRequest.png|thumb|You can't go wrong with MLP porn over paying your debt!]]

When Chris has to meet a requirement during a negotiation (most noticeably deadlines), he will explain that he is "working on it". To Chris, saying this is an acceptable substitute for actual work, whether or not he is indeed "working on it". If in his own good time, Chris feels inclined to fulfill the deal, he'll submit whenever he wants to, regardless of the original agreement, well after the deadline. If the agreement was that he would receive something for the "work" done, he will demand it unceasingly, despite not holding up his end of the deal in any way, shape, or form.

Even if Chris somehow agrees to a set of terms, he will try to get around them. If he agrees to give something up for someone, he will go behind that person's back to get it back so that he could have both. If he agrees to draw a comic, he will most likely do something easier, like making a video or write a blog entry, figuring that that counts as work. If he agrees to willingly slander himself (like calling himself gay, for instance), he'll either mumble it so that it's incomprehensible, or he'll hide his face.

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Scale of Respect

2025-08-20T08:41:37Z

Stronax:

{{quote|1=I'll consider [[Chris and sex|knocking you and Susan up]] my '''scale of Respect''' each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).|2=Chris<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2004-2006]]</ref>}}

The '''Scale of Respect''' is a fine example of [[Chris]] using [[video game]] terminology to describe his feelings towards other people due to his lack of social interaction. It was mentioned in a [[2004]] e-mail to [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

[[Autism|Autistics]] tend to view the world in absolute values. Since they have trouble expressing subtle differences with such intangible concepts as "respect", Chris might be putting the differences of respect between, say, a schoolteacher to a [[pedofork|pedophile]], in literal physical terms that he's familiar with to better understand the concept. While even small children don't resort to such retardation, instead learning about it through "give and take", it boggles the mind that even in his forties, he still clings to this system of treating respect as if it were steps on a ladder, where even other autistic children would grow out of it before reaching their pre-teens.

While sociologists have done surveys, made graphs and written papers to find out which professions the average [[United States of America|American]] feels the most respect for (the top 3 being [[Minor Family Members#David_Chandler|Doctor]], [[Bob Chandler|Soldier]] and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Teacher]], in that order), it's difficult to say which person you have more respect for when things like authority are taken into account, because one respects authority (or at least pretends to) out of survival. According to Chris's "Scale of Respect", things like authority aren't even considered, meaning that he can't differentiate between the concepts of "respect" and "authority" or understand that the two often blend together. This is likely the reason for his troubles with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], whom at the time of her run in with Chris was the Dean of Student Affairs. In that role, she held authority over student activities and was responsible for keeping the peace on the campus, including the responsibility to prevent pathetic man-children such as Chris from employing [[Attraction Sign|retarded]] [[Red String of Fate|methods]] to solicit attention and relationships from the opposite sex. Chris also believes that [[Chris and his Ego|his "respect"]] is valid to use as a bargaining chip during [[Chris and negotiation|negotiation]].

After the E-mail to Mary Lee Walsh, this is never brought up again, nor was it ever brought up beforehand.

==References==
<references/>
==See also==
*[[Heart level]]
*[[Third date]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:PVCC Saga]]

Autism

2025-08-20T08:22:10Z

Stronax: /* 2: Insistence on sameness */ I think that his own parents also contributed to his inertia, because elderly people are known to be quiet lethargic and afraid of any change.

:''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|center]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|200px|He plays this card a lot, such as during the [[Jail Saga]].]]
[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[File:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Image of Chris (and his husband Magi-Chan) around neurotypical (non-autistic) "sheeple."]]
[[Image:Chrisautismmeme.jpg|thumb|Chris explains Autism]]

'''Autism''' is a neurodevelopmental disorder and the lens through which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] experiences the world. It is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[Chris and stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Examples of Chris's Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]], and [[Chris and reality|poor grasp on reality]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris was diagnosed with the disorder in his early childhood (at a time when far less was understood about the disorder), and it became a cornerstone of his identity and influence on how he would act, alongside potentially other undiagnosed psychological or neurodevelopmental disorders. It should be noted that Chris's autism is not reflective of the experiences that most people with the disorder have, but since Chris has consistently pointed to autism whenever he does something wrong, and we have no way of knowing what other disorders Chris may have without access to his medical documents, this article serves as good a place as any to discuss the nature of Chris's neuroses, whether they are tied to autism or not.

==Overview==
{{Protip|There is considerable debate on how to refer to the autism community, with some preferring diagnosis-based language (i.e. "Chris has autism"), adjectives (i.e., "Chris is autistic"), or nouns (i.e., "Chris is an autistic"). Since Chris has never appeared to have a preference, the CWCki uses these terms interchangeably.}}

{{w|Autism}} is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty in communication and social interactions: issues that usually surface in childhood and carry on throughout life if not treated early on. The disorder represents a spectrum of different symptoms, behaviors, intellects, and support needs. Autism can also lead to restrictive and repetitive behaviors, intense passions known as special interests, and unusual fixations or approaches to stimulation. No two people with autism are exactly the same, and many common autism traits can even contradict each other (i.e. no eye contact vs. [[creepy stare|intense eye contact]]).

[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

Autism is traditionally associated with either [[Slow-in-the-minds|intellectual disability]] or [[Honor roll|above-average intelligence]] (or both in the case of savants), but most autistic people carry average intelligence. The autism spectrum historically covered a number of related diagnoses, including [[Asperger's syndrome]], [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|which Chris resents]]. The DSM-5 replaced these diagnoses with a single diagnosis of ''autism spectrum disorder'', divided into three levels based on support needs.

Due to his status as an internet celebrity and lolcow, it goes without saying that Chris has a very unusual case of autism. Since he is arguably the most documented autistic person in modern history, he affects public perceptions of the disorder on the internet. That being said, it is highly likely that Chris has ''many'' other issues beyond just having autism, since Chris has demonstrated problems that can't simply be explained away by the disorder. (For instance, it shouldn't have taken him six or seven years to learn how to speak, even with severe symptoms. Meanwhile, his severe delusions that spiraled later in life demonstrate signs of a schizoaffective disorder.) Without a proper medical diagnosis, in part thanks to Chris's history of avoiding cooperation with people trying to help him understand himself on that level, autism remains the typical scapegoat to explain Chris's behavior, even if the truth may be more complicated.

Chris has built much of his identity around his high-functioning autism. His terror of being associated with severely autistic people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. The angst he has over his unsatisfactory graduation is made manifest in [[Sonichu (comic)|his webcomic]] as [[Count Graduon|one of the work's key villains]].

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is completely different from that of literally every other person in the world who has autism (which, while not ''totally'' wrong, is a gross oversimplification of the disorder's spectral nature). Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong mere minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father Call#Financial Situation and Crystal the Tard Baby (11:01-18:28)]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|he]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|makes]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college|poor]] [[Affair with Mother|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 20]]</ref>

==Chris's symptoms==
{{protip|Do not use Chris to bash all autistic people, and do not complain about how he gives autism a bad name. He is one person on the autism ''spectrum''. This article mostly deals with Chris's autism.}}

[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

A 2004 [[Autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] confirms that Chris has ''autistic disorder''. Though his original childhood diagnosis papers are [[2014 house fire|presumably lost forever]], Chris was diagnosed by actual specialists, not armchair psychologists.

Nevertheless, many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with that of various other autistics. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general, these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what most autistics are like. They are well-aware that the condition is a spectrum.

Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to a certain extent in the context of intellectual learning. Others can learn social skills the old-fashioned way, usually through joining a group and coming out of their shell. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. They may also adopt the alternative approach of "Haters Gonna Hate," surrounding themselves with like-minded people and not giving a fuck about the bullies.

Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies, but also accept them at face value. Sometimes, he even wishes to force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layman might come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic, guy with a few "eccentricities" and personality flaws, or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris is completely [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]] or full-blown schizophrenic. Some folks argue that Chris's autism is so mild that it's barely relevant, while others attribute his entire personality to it.

But the truth appears to be in the middle: Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of genuine autism, [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]], isolation, and other [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental impairments]].

His symptoms are listed below, coded to match [https://archive.ph/YxSOM the official DSM-5 diagnosis:]

===A: Deficits in communication and social interaction===
====1: Social-emotional reciprocity====
Chris struggles with social-emotional reciprocity, the two-way understanding required for successful social interaction.

[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Trolls manipulated Chris into [[Ohio Trip|driving all the way to Ohio]] to save [[Julie|a fake girlfriend]] – the only things Chris gained from the trip were these fast food receipts. Difficulties in discerning the motives and intentions of others is regularly observed among people diagnosed with autism.]]

=====Understanding others' intentions=====
Chris has difficulty gauging others' thoughts, feelings, ideas, and intentions. He doesn't always understand that these might be different than his own, or how to predict these behaviors. In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video]] he made of himself destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

Chris is extremely gullible. While autistics can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo executives]] approaching him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

=====Empathy and sympathy=====
Chris shows very little [[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|empathy]] and [[Chris and kindness|concern for others]]. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding" — he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

When Chris does attempt empathy, it's only when he already sees himself in the person, no matter how big the stretch is. This habit shows up in Chris's justifications for his votes. He voted for [[Barack Obama]] because he was a victim of discrimination – equating Obama's struggle with racism to his own struggle with autistic persecution. He mainly voted for [[Hillary Clinton]] because she was a woman – which Chris has identified as since 2014. He never looked at either candidate's platforms or voted based on actual issues, just based on who he can "see" himself in.

=====Social awareness and boundaries=====
[[Image:Chris holding sign.jpg|thumb|right|The [[attraction sign]] in action. Struggling with social norms and approaching people is a sign of autism.]]

Chris struggles with social approach. He believed that holding up a literal [[sign]] with his requirements for an eligible sweetheart was a socially acceptable way to meet people. He would [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|pace around]] public places aimlessly, and he has difficulty initiating conversations. He sometimes starts off the convo with botched attempts at pickup lines, and [[random-access humor]]. Nowadays, much of his social approach takes the form of meet-and-greet photo ops at [[conventions]] or elsewhere, though he still screws it up.

Chris doesn't understand the concept of boundaries, whether physical or verbal. He kissed people he met seconds ago at [[TooManyGames]]. He was quite handsy with [[Megan]], [[Kacey]], and [[Emily]], and he buried his face in [[Catherine]]'s breasts. He regularly refers to his [[Mary Lee Walsh|superiors]] by their first name, sometimes even by [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|pet names]] they don't even use. He doesn't seem to understand that different relationships call for different sets of social norms.

Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social dysfunction. Without provocation, he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]], his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], his autism itself, and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he was a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref> He mostly takes interest in himself while talking, only occasionally taking interest in his conversational partner.

All of the above could be explained by Chris's lack of social awareness. One notable instance of this, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|black]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

====2: Nonverbal communication====
[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|right|Demonstrating poor eye contact.]]

Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]" (though [[Barb]] displays a similar stare). When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. Also, notice his inconsistent eye contact in his [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] news interview. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural. His incompetency with emotional display extends to his [[art]] and comics as well. He has a hard time displaying emotion on his characters' faces, and has even added emoticons :) to the speech bubbles to make up for his lack of ability to communicate through his art and writing alone.

Chris also has very poor [[Facial blindness|facial and vocal recognition skills]]. [[Julie]] was a 13-year-old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin color. He didn't realize that [[Emily]] and [[Kim Wilson|Kim]] were the same person, even though their voices and laughs were obviously identical. Chris is inconsistent with his self-portraits and drawings of other people, relying more on color schemes and cosmetics (hair, clothing choices, etc.) than on facial features to distinguish them apart. In his attempt at a [[Barack Obama#White House gag|political cartoon]], he relies on labels and arrows to distinguish the characters instead of exaggerating their facial features like mainstream political cartoonists. He also depicts Obama in a traditional African cap he seldom wears.

[[Image:0485-CWC18th16.jpg|thumb|left|Chris has had very little social interaction since high school. This is one of the few pictures of him with his [[gal pals]], and it only shows him from behind.]]

====3: Interpersonal relationships====
Chris's social dysfunction has caused him trouble with developing and maintaining relationships – platonic or romantic. Many non-autistics have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing.

Chris's earliest friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], was more of a bully than a friend; she locked him in the crawlspace of her house, and tried convincing him to eat the berries of a honeysuckle, which can induce [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|diarrhea]]. His high school [[Gal-Pals]] were "hired help": Bob and the principal arranged a deal where they were paid to hang out with Chris. He rarely hung out with them outside school hours, except on his [[My big 18th party|18th birthday]] and at [[prom]].

Chris has had very few friends as an adult. He loses friends regularly, manages to get [[banned]] from his favorite hangouts, and has no contact with any of his beloved high school Gal-Pals. He did have a circle of [[Pokémon League friends|adult friends who played Pokémon with him]], but he lost contact with them once he switched his focus to [[imaginary friends]] and online [[enablers]] after the [[Idea Guys]] managed to destroy what little remaining grip on [[reality]] Chris had.

Despite this, Chris's social life was robust compared to his love life. Chris is in his forties, and he hasn't had a serious romantic relationship or any consensual contact with the opposite sex (aside from a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]] and [[Affair with Mother|his own mother]], though whether the latter was completely consensual remains questionable), or the [[bisexual|same sex]] for that matter. His foray into [[Dating profiles|online dating]] was a failure, and every one of his [[sweethearts]] was either [[Megan|just a friend]] or a troll. He viewed his desperate search as a [[Love Quest]] – a saga that began on his 21st birthday, and only ended when he got into a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his OCs.

Chris is also estranged from his family outside his parents. Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] has blocked him on social media. He has little contact with his other half brother [[David Alan Chandler|David]], and knows even less of his half-sister [[Carol Chandler|Carol]].

As with many autistics, Chris does manage to have good relationships with animals, whether [[Patti|real]] or [[Sonichu (species)|fake]]. Animals are more direct and don't have as complex of social rituals as humans. Animals also serve as a "social lubricant" for people on the spectrum. Anyone who knows anything about Temple Grandin can back this up.

===B: Chris's restricted and repetitive behaviors===
To receive an autism diagnosis, the DSM-5 requires restricted and repetitive behaviors [https://archive.ph/YxSOM in at least two of the following four categories.] Chris meets all of them; examples are given below:

====1: Movements and speech====
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|Chris refers to the [[Xbox]] as the "HEXbox," showing both his [[brand loyalty]] and vocabulary of made-up words.|250px]]

Chris often exhibits echolalia, which means he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]]. He tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. He uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

Autism is also linked to [[speech impediment]]s. Chris has trouble with articulation, and often slurs words together like "[[ED|Essaikapeeia Dramakka Payzh]]" and "[[Chris|Krishnwessonchanler]]." He frequently stutters, clutters his words, and speaks in a higher-pitched register.

Chris's unusual [[mannerisms]] are another sign. He rocks back and forth (dubbed "The Autistic Shuffle"), especially when [[stress]]ed. He uses the same gestures repeatedly, such as his [[stress sigh]], [[The Claw of Fail]], and the infamous [[Dramatic Glasses Removal]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of {{w|hypotonia}}, which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]] — as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly.

[[Image:Please,_Donate_(720p).mp400001.png|thumb|left|250px|Chris has spent the majority of his adult life in his bedroom.]]

====2: Insistence on sameness====
One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear of and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. His fear of change was further amplified by his elderly parents own fear driven inertia, that is typical for elderly people from their generation. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life]], never came close to moving out [[Affair with Mother|until he was absolutely forced to]], has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, has never stuck to a [[Chris and health|diet and exercise program]], [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women]], and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from his favorite [[the GAMe PLACe|hangout spots]]. His proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self-improvement show that he has a very hard time moving on from his childhood lifestyle (where he had no obligations other than school), or simply fears failure of all types.

Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his '[[heart level]]' and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie]], Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

Some autistic people follow rules so strictly that it's bordering OCD. Chris however, has the opposite problem. He lived in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house for many years,]] makes comics with a very inconsistent plot, wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Autistics generally have "special interests." These interests can range from familiar subjects popular with most people, to specialised interests and areas of higher study, from elevators to astrophysics, or in Chris's case, Sonic the Hedgehog.]]

====3: Fixations and special interests====
Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, cartoons, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his game consoles, and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistics have difficulty maintaining relationships with people, they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in autistic children.

Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays and middle names that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

Chris's fixations also manifest as [[brand loyalty]]. Chris has been loyal to Nintendo, Sega and Sony, to the exclusion of [[HEXbox|Microsoft]]. He's loyal to [[McDonald's]] and dislikes [[Burger King]]. He felt that [[Harry Potter]] was a threat to [[Pokemon]]. His brand loyalty went beyond simple preferences and extended to actual obsessions and hatreds. He'd hype up [[Axe]] and [[Walmart]] in videos. He'd blindly trust advertisements and even include ads of his own in his comics.

Chris's [[transgender]] identity is yet another fixation. According to psychologist Ken Zucker, trans folks are more likely to be autistic than the general population. The link is caused by, among other traits, autistics' tendency to fixate on issues (in this case, gender). Many autistic males (including Chris) also have qualities that can be considered effeminate, such as passiveness. Since they have less social awareness, they may behave in ways that can be considered atypical for either sex and display less regard for gender roles. Chris and many other autistics perceive their quirks as being "female in a male body" or vice versa, and assume that they will fit in better as their desired sex.

His fixation showed itself strongly when Sega changed [[Sonic]]'s arms from tan to [[Sonic Boom protests|blue]]. Chris launched a crusade that ended with him [[26 December 2014|macing an innocent GameStop employee]]; a criminal offense launched entirely by a minor change to a fictional character who happens to be Chris's icon.

====4: Sensory processing====
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|left|Chris wearing a wrist warmer with his medallion to reduce sensory discomfort from its chain. Differences in how the body processes sensory stimuli are a common characteristic of autism.]]

Autism affects how the brain interprets the senses. Chris is often either hypo- or hypersensitive to sensory stimulation. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He skipped pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise. He is also likely to have taste-related sensory issues, given that he has a [[Chris and nutrition|bland and unhealthy diet]] as well as a [[Pickle#Pickled cucumbers|hatred for pickles]] (a strong-tasting food), which long predates the term's infamous usage to refer to male genitalia.

Sensory dysfunction isn't limited to the five external senses – it extends to internal, "hidden senses" such as balance, body position, [[Obesity|hunger]], thirst, [[biological clock|time]], [[pickles|gag reflex]], and internal body pressure (such as when one has to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the facilities]]).

==Severity of Chris's autism==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris will be quick to tell you about it, though.]]

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing average or above-average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he lived with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soils his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the {{w|DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR}} or the {{w|ICD-10}}. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[List of Chris's lies|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to autistics who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical; he can talk, drive, write and draw, [[Speech impediment|even if]] [[Chris and art|he's not]] [[Son-Chu#Distracted driving|the best]] [[Chris and writing|at these things]]. A major argument against the HFA label is that Chris himself allegedly stopped speaking at the age of one and didn't speak again until he was seven. This is a major language delay, and he would have been considered low-functioning at the time. This is especially relevant since Chris was diagnosed in the eighties, and HFA/Asperger's was only recognized in the English-speaking world in the 1990s. At the time of his diagnosis, being autistic required at least a delay in speech acquisition, if not complete muteness.

The newer {{w|DSM-5}} ''does'' split autism into three different levels of severity based on the amount of support needed. The new term for "High-Functioning Autism" is "Autism Spectrum Disorder [[Vidya|Level 1]]", often subtitled 'Requiring support'. Chris is most likely on the lower functioning end of Level 1, though his developmental delays in early childhood, significant difficulties navigating social situations and stunted life skills could still put him on the cusp of Level 2, meaning 'Requiring substantial support'.

Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==
{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk; as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> (This implies that Chris could talk before this incident, which directly contradicts Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven.) Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>{{w|Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism}}</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development, even a random babysitter. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [https://archive.is/PROpt positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is also worth noting that [[Bob]] was an engineer, and studies have found higher autism rates among children of engineers (and other technical occupations).<ref>https://archive.is/BHfBO</ref> Bob's granddaughter [[Savannah]] is also autistic.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven – that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==
Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he threw a temper tantrum so big it forced the faculty to physically restrain him while refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

Chris frequently brings up that the reason people used to [[Kick the Autistic|be cruel to him]] in his childhood was because "they did not understand Autism." In the [[1980s]]. When autism had been known for around 40 years. When asked about why they did not understand, Chris delivers his canned response of "I do not know."

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is [[Chris and hypocrisy|perfectly justified]], but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to "{{w|Missing white woman syndrome|Missing White Woman Syndrome}}," and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) [[Chris and his ego|he's a brave little boy for living with it]]. His song "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in ''Super Smash Bros.'']]

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert. His tone-deafness for singing is fairly unusual for an autistic individual as well – autistic people tend to have stronger pitch perception, and they are more likely to have perfect pitch than the general population.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People,"]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary. That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

Chris's failure to understand the symptoms of autism may well explain some of his odd behaviors. Due to lack of social activity and poor theory of mind, Chris doesn't seem to realize that his behaviors are what they are, as best demonstrated by his belief that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it is normal for an adult to shit themselves]]. Chris does not recognize the differences between himself and others, and this applies to the differences between himself and neurotypicals - and, seeing no differences, he believes his autism to have been thoroughly conquered, even while embodying every single trait of it.

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>https://archive.ph/ckSNI</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic," and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth," apparently in reference to the highly disputed {{w|MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth}} alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In a [[Some Favored Comedians|video]] in 2010, Chris said the Internet made people autistic, likely confusing the hyperbolic claim often made jokingly to that effect with fact. Ironically, Chris's excessive use of the Internet in place of human interaction has probably done more to exacerbate his symptoms than almost anything else.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. In fact, Asperger syndrome was eliminated and replaced with "autism spectrum disorder, level 1" in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>https://archive.is/TPWcu</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> In the early days of the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]], asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

===Chris on Neurotypicality===



Chris also has little understanding of the concept of neurotypicality, the state of lacking any kind of neurologically-atypical traits. Some people on the autism spectrum, especially those with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]], are deemed to be of above-average intelligence or possess a special talent in another field like music or art. Chris has taken that to mean that he himself must also be in that same group of autistics, where he is much smarter than the average person. This is especially prevalent during the [[Dimensional Merge]] era, where he refers to non-believers as "neurotypically hindered."

===Alternate phrasing===
{{quote|I have a dementia problem that makes me fall mentally blank|Chris substituting dementia for autism<ref name=doopietweet>[[2017 tweets#Doopie defends Chris]]</ref>}}
Chris sometimes uses alternative ways to describe his autism, such as when he hears a new phrase - inapplicable as it may be - and tries to shoehorn it into use.

This was seen during [[April 2017]], when Chris attended care-giving classes in order to help out his [[mother]] around the house. During the classes, Chris learned of the term "dementia", mistakenly believing it to be an umbrella term for mental conditions in general.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Chris applied the term to himself, in reference to his autism disorder, in video<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref> and on [[Twitter]]<ref name=doopietweet></ref> mid-month. Chris ceased misusing the word afterwords.

More absurdly, when Chris learned of the fictional power "Avatar State" from the animated series ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'', he also tried applying it towards his autism disorder. In a tweet from [[January 2021]], he claimed that his "zombie and robot-like state" (such as when he was photographed at [[The GAMe PLACe]]) is an advanced form of the Avatar State.<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#Successful heavy meditate hour]]</ref>

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. He had special education classes in addition to his mainstreaming - [[coping]] skills classes during both middle and high school.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied, "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem and doing nothing to help it) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although [[Pixelated PS3|in 2006]] he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "[[Sonichu 10|homo vaccine]]." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris is over his autism]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to blaming it for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''." A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

In June of 2016, he [[Announcement 06292016#Announcement 06292016-2|claimed to have cured his autism]] using [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|binaural beats]]. He stated that the track made him think clearer and [[Chris and socialization|interact better with others]]. However, he has shown no improvement in the quality of his recent videos, and he would continue to make autism-related content in the future.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==
===Chris on other autistics===
{{Dated}}
Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformities, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them in extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "windows to hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and compared them to "zombies."<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward "low-functioning" autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref> Furthermore, many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than Chris does.

He has once expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (ironically, many feel this way about Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can, therefore, be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

His stance on autistic people would seem to shift a little in 2011, with him further believing himself to be a spokesperson for autism. Chris had attempted to educate people about autistic people in his ''LittleBigPlanet2'' series, the [[Autism Tutorial]]. The second part of the series had Chris decreeing that all autistic people should "man and woman up, respectively" in order to socialize with other people. In the extra part of the series, Chris slapped his representation of Hans Asperger out of the belief that he "selfishly put his ill name" with association with the disorder.

Chris has also claimed that his long-time friend [[Anna McLerran]] is autistic.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021]]</ref>

===Other autistics and Chris===
It should be noted that not all autistics are like Chris. Every person's experience with autism is different and every autistic person has a different combination of symptoms, social skills, sensory issues, empathy, special interests, routines, repetitive and restrictive behaviors and more.

A common analogy for this is that an autistic brain is a "melting pot" or "soup" of symptoms and behaviors <ref>https://autisticadvocacy.tumblr.com/post/113883336014/shades-of-slander</ref>. One person's soup might just be a bit salty, but still good, as they might show a few symptoms but still live a happy life. Another person's soup might taste horrible without seasoning, as they might need some support to function day-to-day.

It just so happens that Chris's soup is a disgusting mixture of sewage, [[April 16 Fetish Vids|Fanta]], rotten eggs and [[Semen|comeuppance]], as he has an extremely unfortunate combination of symptoms and behaviors.

==Autism Deferred Disposition==
{{main|Autism disorder deferred disposition}}
{{quote|and the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that the criminal conduct was caused by or had a direct and substantial relationship to the person's disorder or disability|Excerpt from §19.2-303.6<ref name=autismcard>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/19.2-303.6/</ref>}}

In [[August 2021]], Chris was arrested for the charge of [[incest]] on his [[mother]]. During the court proceedings, his court-appointed lawyer, [[David Heilberg]], filed on 5 [[August 2022]] for §19.2-303.6<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png]]</ref> - deferred disposition based on Chris having autism, which the court granted. In effect, the law provides that if the court would be justified in a finding of guilt, and that autism had a direct cause in Chris's actions in being a motherfucker, that any further proceedings could instead be deferred and Chris put on probationary terms. While the following events are unclear, due to the case being sealed at Heilberg's request (although public records still revealed information), the court appears to have granted the deferred disposition motion.<ref name=autismcard></ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20180626224122/https://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Christian_Chandler Christian Chandler on the Autism Wiki]

{{Health}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Gal pal

2025-08-20T08:17:16Z

Stronax:

{{Unreliable|type=misinfo}}
{{Imposter}}
{{quote|My circle of gal-pals was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for.|Chris, [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: mystery girl, [[Kellie Andes]], Friend Brought Along, Miranda Joyce Mitchell, Sarah Bevel, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]

A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for a female friend. More specifically, it refers to a group of female acquaintances Chris had had during his high-school years.

Chris believed he had a lot of these while growing up. However, a middle school "friend" had actually been a pseudo-babysitter paid by Chris's father [[Bob]] to walk Chris to and from the bus stop,<ref name=natasha>[[Catherine E-mails#Natasha]]</ref> and high school "friends" had taken pity on Chris and either let him hang out with them at lunch or helped protect him from bullies. <ref name=october>[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking]]</ref><ref name=thetangalpals>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Thetan)#Gal Pals]]</ref> A popular rumor is that the high school gal pals were paid by Bob to act as Chris's friends, this claim has only been confirmed by Barb, whose credibility is questionable. What is certain is that the arrangement of Chris's high school friends involved both Bob and the principal. While the specifics of this arrangement remain unclear, it is likely that their motivation for pretending to be Chris's friends stemmed from a combination of altruism and personal benefit.

Chris was hesitant about making friends with other males due to bad experiences with [[JERKS|jerks]]. He said, "in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref>

This approach to [[socialization]] perhaps contributed to his views on [[gender]] and him adopting a few [[flamboyancy|effeminate traits and mannerisms]] of his own. Some have suggested that he clung onto female acquaintances as a kind of surrogate mother-role to protect him from bullies, which matches up to his desire to be babied by a wife while he plays video games as a "stay-at-home dad"; because it's easier to count on others to look after him than to take up that responsibility.

Long after high school ended, he developed feelings of [[nostalgia]] over it and the gal pal acquaintances, to the point where [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|he recreated a high school and several gal pals out of Legos]].

==From school years==
{{Misinfo|While it is likely that Bob might have had some sort of arrangement for these Gal-pals to hang out with Chris, there is no evidence that he paid them for this service. In addition, many alleged statements where they scorn Chris came primarily from the troll [[Thetan]], who impersonated them.|includegossip=yes}}

Chris had several gal pals in his childhood. One, Natasha Turner, was essentially a babysitter paid by Bob to walk Chris to the bus stop. Chris read too much into the acquaintanceship, not realizing at the time that the money Bob handed him to give her was for payment, and believed she was a legitimate friend.

In [[Manchester High School]], Chris again believed he had many gal pals. However, their "friendships" with him had all been arranged by [[Bob]],<ref name=negotiation>[[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref> in an attempt to help Chris socialize. The arrangement lasted up until Chris' birthday not long after graduation, after which the Gal Pals moved on with their lives, marrying and having children of their own.

Some gal pals however were supposedly willing to re-approach Chris for the high school reunion and out of pity, but were astounded and reviled at the person Chris has become, so much so that they actively avoided Chris. Others were imitated by a [[Thetan|troll]], who took advantage of this scenario to tell Chris uncomfortable "truths" about the gal-pals he had in High School. What remains certain is that Chris got blocked by most and some even scorned him on social media.

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Nicole Hammer}}
'''Sarah Hammer''' was Chris’s childhood friend and early crush, though they lost contact after she married and started a family. Chris expressed lingering feelings through his [[comics]] but he eventually moved on. He last heard about her through family updates and hasn’t seen her since her wedding.

===Tiffany Robinson===
'''Tiffany Robinson''' is a former gal pal of Chris's from the days he lived in [[Richmond]] and was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#The Women in my Life]]</ref> In 2021, Chris said that she lived "somewhere beyond Standardsville" [sic] and that he had a crush on her.<ref>[[Warhol Tweets#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> Her current whereabouts, or if she is aware of Chris anymore, are unknown.

In 2008, early troll [[lordsillynipples]] impersonated Tiffany in order to catfish Chris into sending her a copy of his then-unreleased [[DVD]].

===Natasha Turner===
'''Natasha Turner''' is a former schoolmate of Chris's from [[Providence Middle School]]. They were next-door neighbors for a while. His father [[Bob]] paid her to protect Chris to and from the bus stop.<ref name=natasha></ref> She was slightly older than him and, in Chris's words, a "good girl". For a while he had a crush on her until he saw her [[Tobacky|smoking]]: "That was It for me right there".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Natasha Turner]]</ref>

In 2013, when his illusions over his high school gal-pals was finally shattered, it compelled Chris to reevaluate all his past friendships, and at some point, he was suddenly struck by the revelation that Natasha had been paid by Bob. He remembered that Bob had given him money to give to Natasha, with Bob directly telling him it was "like babysitter money". Chris [[Slow in the mind|had not understood]] why Bob was paying Natasha at the time, and wrote, "I remember my Father giving me money and asking me to give it to Natasha as payment for her Friendship and Attention. I didn't know why, at that time, but I Know Now." This recollection was a "major shock" to Chris. "I laid in bed and slept with the shock. Stuck in my [[dreams]]; reluctant to really open my eyes to awake". It reinforced his new suspicion that "my friendships might have been a lie".<ref name=natasha></ref>

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}
'''Kellie Andes''' is a former high school classmate of Chris and one of his crushes. She was one of the girls who attended his 18th birthday. Their relationship meant a lot to Chris, as he kept in contact with her after high school, giving her a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|mixtape]]. He called her weekly for around a year before giving up (the reasoning behind which is inconsistent).

Kellie severed all ties once she found out about what Chris had been up to post-education, blocking him on [[Facebook]] after she shared a link to [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]].

===Tiffany Gowen===
{{main|Tiffany Gowen}}

'''Tiffany Gowen''' is a former high school classmate of Chris. She acted as a compassionate friend, consoling him after his graduation meltdown<ref>[[:File:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|DVD, graduation note 3]]</ref> and bravely danced with Chris during Senior Prom after finding out he took his mother to prom.<ref name=dvd5></ref>

A decade after high school, Chris was determined to reunite with Tiffany.<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (paintingatree)#Re: Tiffany_Gowen]]</ref> Of all the Gal Pals from his High School days, he was obsessed with Tiffany the most, according to one [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|e-mail]] from an unknown Gal Pal. Tiffany, who had a [[JERK|partner]] and least one child by then, was creeped out by this and avoided Chris on purpose after she became aware of his shenanigans. His search ultimately ended in 2013 when he received emails supposedly from "Tiffany" (created by Thetan, but based off of real emails from Tiffany herself) telling Chris to leave her alone.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===

[[File:Sarah and Tiff.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's photo of [[Tiffany Gowen]] and Sarah Bevel.]]
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' is Chris's former classmate at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]]. She and [[Kellie Andes]] were Chris's lab partners in chemistry class, sat with him at lunch, and attended his 18th birthday party. She and her boyfriend were the only couple Chris was aware of during high school. "It was fun to just to watch them flirt with each other; I've could've learned from that, but my Autism and normal social phobias held me back then".<ref name=dvd5>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts#CWC Note 5]]</ref> He was interested in the fact that she broke up with the "Lucky Dude" sometime later.

In September 2013, as Chris was trying to recontact his high school gal-pals for the sake of the 15th annual reunion, he was baffled that Sarah claimed to no longer know him, despite having been one of his "Closest Friends".<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Baffled]]</ref> In October, [[Thetan]] hijacked Sarah Bevel's identity and used her to inform Chris that his gal-pals had only acted like Chris's friends because "we felt sorry for him". This and further correspondence with "Sarah" caused him to turn against her. Having exposed Chris to uncomfortable truths, she moved onto his enemies list. In November he wrote a [[PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013|poem]] expressing his deep emotional pain "caused by the hurtfullest truth of close High School Gal Pal ("Hired Help"), Sarah Bevel. Total Adult, Condensating B---h".

It appears that the real Sarah has discovered Chris's antics since high school, and is not impressed. On 19 December 2013, [[Kellie Andes]] shared a link on her [[Facebook]] for Chris's [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]] video. Among those who commented on the link was Sarah, with the remark, "Ladies, look what we're missing. :P"<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140725112028/cwckiforums.com/threads/gal-pal-facebook-update-12-19-2013.2725/</ref> Sarah also apparently commented on a screenshot of Chris's [[Craigslist#Used Porn|Craigslist ad for used porn]], posted by Molly Quarles, with the comment "Well that explains a few things....."<ref name="Used porn comments">[[:File:Facebook - December 2013 - High school gal pals talk about Chris.jpg]]</ref> And on 27 December, Sarah posted the infamous picture of Chris in his mother's underwear with the [[Affair with Mother|prophetic]] comment, "Not only does Christian like to borrow mommy's undies, but he apparently 'spoons' with her as well. Just when you think you've heard it all".<ref>[[December 2013 Facebook Posts#Mommy's Undies]]</ref>

===Molly Quarles===

'''Molly Quarles''' is a former high school classmate of Chris. She was a cheerleader during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. He remembered her as "a happy, giggly kind-of gal, and she was fun to be around". Chris recalled being paired up in a "dating match-up thing" held for Valentine's Day at Manchester High. According to Chris, it was "the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then".<ref name=CWCipedia>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref> In October 2013, after the "Hired Help" news broke, Chris frantically sent a Facebook message to ask if she was a false friend as well (and was reported by a Facebook user in the process).<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#PLEASE UNDO IT!]]</ref>

It appears that, like [[Kellie Andes]] and Sarah Bevel, Molly has also discovered Chris's antics since high school. In December 2013, Molly found Chris's [[Craigslist#Used Porn|Craigslist ad for used porn]] and posted a screenshot to her [[Facebook]] account with the comment, "Eeeeeew! I didn't need that mental picture. What a creeper! :P"<ref name="Used porn comments" /> Despite her disgust, she remained Chris's Facebook friend, which for Chris is the equivalent of the real thing.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Ex-gal pals]]</ref>

[[File:Miranda photo.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's grainy photo of Miranda.]]

===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
'''Miranda''' (or "Maranda") '''Joyce Mitchell''' is a former classmate of Chris. He described her as "a pretty girl, and... a big brain of my Circle of Friends".<ref name=CWCipedia>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref> Chris met her during his junior year in Computer Graphics class where they were partners and were required to design company logos for each other. Miranda thereby helped our hero out in his early website days with a redesign of the [[CWC's Pokésite 2|CWC's PokéSite 2!]] logo. This made Miranda the very first of his gal-pals to be exposed to the glory of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 10]]</ref> She attended his 18th birthday party, bringing as a gift "a planer [sic] with stickers".<ref>[[My big 18th party]]</ref>

Since then, Chris has been unable to locate Miranda on Facebook or anywhere else, no doubt to her great relief.

===Rebeckah Bentley===
{{see also|Rebeckah Bentley E-mails}}
{{Quote|I don't know why I'm telling you all this; I have a feeling that you are a genuine, caring woman who listens and keeps it confidential. I pray you will not betray me as well (by not telling any Troll or whoever else any of this, leading towards even more degrading mockery and shit).|Chris<ref name=betray>Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life</ref>}}

'''Rebeckah Bentley''' was one of Chris's lesser known High School gal-pals. Though not much is known about her and her role with Chris during those years, she was better known for being imitated by [[Thetan]], and the [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|various chats]] that Chris had with the troll, who posed as the gal-pal, with regards to [[Catherine]] and his years in High School. After the supposed betrayal from some of the other gal-pals, Chris tells "Rebeckah" that he hopes she doesn't do the same.<ref name=betray></ref> This; combined with Chris's first interaction with the supposed gal-pal involving him tagging her, and her telling him to stop afterwards; implies that Rebeckah could have been as close to Chris as some of the other gal-pals listed here.

==The illusion shattered==
[[Thetan]], a troll known for impersonating some of Chris's high school gal pals in communications with him, as well as for claiming to have been in contact with two of the real gal-pals, was heavily involved with the events below.

On 30 October 2013, Chris posted on Facebook about a discovery that all of his cherished gal-pals from [[Manchester High School]] had only put up with him out of pity for him.<ref name=october></ref> According to Thetan, the email sent to Chris had been quoted from an actual email.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Thetan)#Fake Or Real Gal-Pal Emails?]]</ref>

{{quote|I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a lost little boy. [[Affair with Mother|Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now]], but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to his 18th birthday party.|[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|An e-mail from one of Chris's "friends"]]}}

At the end of October, Chris, having just discovered the truth, demanded an apology for their kindness.

According to [[Marvin]], Thetan had fabricated a story to Chris claiming that the high school gal pals had been hired by Bob, and that Chris then asked his mother [[Barbara]] whether or not the story was true, and she claimed it to be true.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Thetan Saga]]</ref><ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#High School Gal-Pals]]</ref> According to Thetan, Chris told the story of Barbara's claim to [[Catherine|Catie]] in an attempt to elicit pity. Thetan further claimed in [[Kiwi Farms]] postings that she had asked two of the gal pals about the story, and that they allegedly made a vague reply about an arrangement with the principal with no further details, and Thetan wrote in her Kiwi Farms post that she didn't think payment was involved.<ref name=thetangalpals></ref>

In December, his high-school gal-pals became aware of [[Media:Cwcbraorig.JPG|the picture of him wearing his mother's underwear]], [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|the Mount and Do Me oral sex video]], and a [[Craigslist#Used_Porn|recent Craigslist ad]] where he put several dozen pornographic DVDs up for sale and posted negative comments about them on Facebook.

Even so, he refused to let go of them.

On 5 November 2014, it was revealed on a [[CWCki Forums]] thread that the "betrayal" was fabricated by trolls.<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (Null)#Closure of CWCki Forums Private Board]]</ref>

Years later, in February 2017, Chris reminisced about his [[high school]] days. In his rose-tinted view of events that had happened nearly 20 years prior, he recalled that he had friends who treated him well – conveniently forgetting that they did so out of personal and/or financial gain after Bob and the principal hired them.<ref name=negotiation></ref>

He then named several of those people and urged them to either apologize or befriend him again.

{{quote|#JoshuaMartinez, #TiffanyGowen, #SarahBevelIngram, #KellieAndes

The ONLY Way I will ever let their more recent deeds be forgiven is if they all genuinely want to be friends me again; at the least to take a few minutes out of their lives to apologize.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts##productofpublicschool]]</ref>}}

==Adult gal pals==
Female friends Chris made after graduating from high school. These women have been mostly indifferent to Chris's internet reputation, although Anna has sometimes taken an interest in Chris's e-fame.

* [[Anna McLerran]]
* [[Megan Schroeder]]
* [[The Wallflower]]
* [[Pokémon League friends]]

==Fan gal pals==
Women who befriended Chris as a result of his internet infamy. Some of these women are trolls as well, although (unlike the troll gal pals below) they interacted with Chris under their real names.

* [[Midnight Moonflower|Claire Garcia]] (alias Midnight Moonflower)
* [[Clare Porter]]
* [[Helena Fiorenza]]
* The [[Teen Troon Squad]]
* Two of the [[Praetors]]
* [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
* [[Fiona]]
* "[[Flutter]]"

==Troll gal pals==
Fake personas created by trolls to [[Manipulation|manipulate]] Chris. Most of these were played by ''bona fide'' women, but Vivian Gee was a creation of [[Clyde Cash]].

* [[Sarah Jackson]]
* [[PandaHalo|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]
* [[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]]
* [[Vivian Gee]]
* [[Kacey|Kacey Devoria]]
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]
* [[Kim Wilson]] and [[Emily|Emily Julia Schifflet]] (two different identities played by [[LoveYouLongTime]])
* [[Catherine|Catherine Sorrentino]]

==In the comic==

* [[Megan Schroeder]] - as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5]] and [[Sonichu 6|6]], as herself in [[Sonichu 7]]
* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - as herself in [[Sonichu 0]] and [[Sonichu 5|5]], as the yellow Saramah [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] in some issues
* [[Kellie Andes]] - briefly in [[Sonichu 7]]
* [[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]] - in Sonichu Specials [[Sonichu Special 1|1]], [[Wedding Comic|2]], and [[Giant Penis Comic|3]]
* [[Kacey|Kacey Devoria]] - in [[Sonichu Special 4]] before [[Barb]] asked Chris to stop portraying gal-pals in specials
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]] - briefly as the vile Vulva Pie in [[Sonichu 12]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3
File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|From left to right: unnamed friend, Miranda Joyce Mitchell (in black), Sarah Anne Bevel (in green), and [[Tiffany Gowen]].
File:Sarah Bevel.jpg|[[LEGO]] Sarah Bevel, made shortly before her betrayal.
File:Molly Quarles.jpg|LEGO Molly Quarles.
File:Maranda Mitchell.jpg|LEGO "Maranda" Mitchell.
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|The [[ModNation Racers]] version: "cute, sassy, serious".
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]

==References==
<references/>

{{HighSchoolSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]

Kick the Autistic

2025-08-20T07:59:09Z

Stronax: /* Gal Pal Style */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]
[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris_and_contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. The requirements to beat Chris are very minimal, requiring only basic artistic skills and an artstyle that is at least above the levels of a pre schooler. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his Love Quest by tearing his [[attraction sign]]s down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], and record yourself destroying it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has plagiarized, and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris_and_the_law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]]. Beware Ian Brian Anderson though, he will became very jealous and may attempt to cause physical harm on you.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]] and because his father and principal set you up for it. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into disgust by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him and then finish it by scorning him on social media. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Null]] Style===
Run the website [[Kiwi Farms]] (Formely [[CWCki Forums]]) and build an alliance with Chris, protect him from [[weens]], and help him when he needed it. When the [[Affair with Mother|incest allegations]] come to light, be suspicious of him and start a conversation, find out that he lied about his financial situation and stole money from [[Barbara]] (forbidden by an [[Emergency Protective Order]] against Chris) and cut all ties.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Niggos#Niggos in Chris's life|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Kick the Autistic

2025-08-20T07:55:57Z

Stronax: /* Liquid Style */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]
[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris_and_contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. The requirements to beat Chris are very minimal, requiring only basic artistic skills and an artstyle that is at least above the levels of a pre schooler. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his Love Quest by tearing his [[attraction sign]]s down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], and record yourself destroying it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has plagiarized, and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris_and_the_law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]]. Beware Ian Brian Anderson though, he will became very jealous and may attempt to cause physical harm on you.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Null]] Style===
Run the website [[Kiwi Farms]] (Formely [[CWCki Forums]]) and build an alliance with Chris, protect him from [[weens]], and help him when he needed it. When the [[Affair with Mother|incest allegations]] come to light, be suspicious of him and start a conversation, find out that he lied about his financial situation and stole money from [[Barbara]] (forbidden by an [[Emergency Protective Order]] against Chris) and cut all ties.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Niggos#Niggos in Chris's life|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Kick the Autistic

2025-08-20T07:52:12Z

Stronax: /* Artistic Style */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]
[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris_and_contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. The requirements to beat Chris are very minimal, requiring only basic artistic skills and an artstyle that is at least above the levels of a pre schooler. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his Love Quest by tearing his [[attraction sign]]s down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], and record yourself destroying it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has plagiarized, and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris_and_the_law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Null]] Style===
Run the website [[Kiwi Farms]] (Formely [[CWCki Forums]]) and build an alliance with Chris, protect him from [[weens]], and help him when he needed it. When the [[Affair with Mother|incest allegations]] come to light, be suspicious of him and start a conversation, find out that he lied about his financial situation and stole money from [[Barbara]] (forbidden by an [[Emergency Protective Order]] against Chris) and cut all ties.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Niggos#Niggos in Chris's life|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Sweetheart

2025-08-19T21:26:35Z

Stronax: /* Definition */ Bob is dead and Chris is not allowed to live with Barb anyway, so i changed that part. I think this is a much better way to describe his expectations

{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, a trip to a hooker (two in fact), and [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his mother]]. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]], from which he was fired not long after. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with an overweight man child who can neither take care of his own hygiene nor has any meaningful income to support himself, much less a family.

It goes without saying that Chris' expectations for a potential sweetheart are very, very high. However, Chris is oblivious as to what a woman might expect from him and whether he even fulfills the nowadays high standards females typically have for a potential husband.

==Qualifications==
{{Misinfo|Be aware that the qualifications listed may not reflect Chris's current tastes.}}
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

{{quotebox|
*18-Years Old <ref group = note>Chris's age then</ref>
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring}}

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

{{quotebox|
*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>}}

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: Aside of being unattractive and lacking significant income, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]], irretrievably binding himself to his delusions. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest call]] was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by many, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart are virtually none: nobody wants to date an internet sensation who is a literal motherfucker. While there's now [[Flutter|another potential contender for this role]], it is unlikely that she will actually take up the mantle, if she ever had any intention of dating Chris.

==Related Terms==
Chris has also used other affectionate terms for gal-pals and potential sweethearts.
===Darling===
{{main|Darling}}
===Sweetbolt===
[[Image:sweetbolt.jpg|right|thumb||What's wrong? More than you can possibly imagine.]]

'''Sweetbolt''' is a term of endearment coined by [[Chris]] and primarily used by his electric hedgehog characters. He considers it a clever play on the more familiar "[[sweetheart]]." The spelling of the word is somewhat fluid – Chris variously spells it "SweetBolt," "Sweet bolt," or "Sweet-bolt."

"Sweetbolt" sounds awfully strange even in the context of Chris's comics, as when [[Rosechu]] refers to [[Sonichu]] as her sweetbolt. However, it sounds an order of magnitude more bizarre when Chris uses it to describe himself:

{{quote|I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your SweetBolt. :)|[[Chris]], to [[PandaHalo]], concerning her rape at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]]}}

===Theoretical Exes===
Chris has occasionally called past potential sweethearts '''theoretical exes'''.

===Zapbud===
{{quote|Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose,
though a Zapbud is the flower that heals your woes.|<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Zapbud.jpg|thumb|100px|A Zapbud]]
The '''zapbud''', first introduced in the [[Wall of Originals]], was a part of Chris's [[Anchuent Prophecy|half-assed attempt to create lore]] in his Sonichu comics, being a flower which he had created solely for this reason. In keeping with the comic's notorious lack of subtlety (if the name of the thing didn't give it away already), the flower itself is a generic sunflower design that has four magenta petals with yellow lightning bolts on it, and a blue center with a single yellow lighting bolt. Adding to this, Chris wanted to avoid making it ambiguous that they were supposedly Rosechu's most favorite things, and the chosen design for it, being the same color scheme as Rosechu, made this loud and clear (even ignoring the fact that Chris plastered Rosechu's name on it in one instance). Despite how special they supposedly are in the world of the comics, being Rosechu's favorite flower, and Chris even going out of his way to create a Magic Model mold of one in his Lego recreation of CWCville,<ref>[[:File:0881-Cwcville30.JPG]]</ref> they are so generic that the most that Chris could say about them is that they also just smell "nice".<ref>[[Mailbag 24#Really short answers]]</ref> Chris's constant use of Zapbuds (despite how utterly generic they were) became a sort of in-joke amongst Christorians and observers, to the point where an OC, Cindy Zapbud, was created and named after it.

Nonetheless, the term "zapbud" was also used in the comics as a term of endearment, which is most noted when Sonichu referred to Rosechu as his "blossiming zapbud" in [[Sonichu 8]].

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

==See also==
* [[List of Love Quest candidates]]
* [[Boyfriend-free girl]]
* [[Gal pal]]
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
* [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Noviophobia]]
* [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Sweetheart

2025-08-19T14:26:18Z

Stronax: /* Present situation */

{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, a trip to a hooker (two in fact), and [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his mother]]. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with. Chris is also ignorant to the high standards women place in modern society, standards that Chris doesn't meet.

==Qualifications==
{{Misinfo|Be aware that the qualifications listed may not reflect Chris's current tastes.}}
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

{{quotebox|
*18-Years Old <ref group = note>Chris's age then</ref>
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring}}

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

{{quotebox|
*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>}}

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: Aside of being unattractive and lacking significant income, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]], irretrievably binding himself to his delusions. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest call]] was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by many, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart are virtually none: nobody wants to date an internet sensation who is a literal motherfucker. While there's now [[Flutter|another potential contender for this role]], it is unlikely that she will actually take up the mantle, if she ever had any intention of dating Chris.

==Related Terms==
Chris has also used other affectionate terms for gal-pals and potential sweethearts.
===Darling===
{{main|Darling}}
===Sweetbolt===
[[Image:sweetbolt.jpg|right|thumb||What's wrong? More than you can possibly imagine.]]

'''Sweetbolt''' is a term of endearment coined by [[Chris]] and primarily used by his electric hedgehog characters. He considers it a clever play on the more familiar "[[sweetheart]]." The spelling of the word is somewhat fluid – Chris variously spells it "SweetBolt," "Sweet bolt," or "Sweet-bolt."

"Sweetbolt" sounds awfully strange even in the context of Chris's comics, as when [[Rosechu]] refers to [[Sonichu]] as her sweetbolt. However, it sounds an order of magnitude more bizarre when Chris uses it to describe himself:

{{quote|I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your SweetBolt. :)|[[Chris]], to [[PandaHalo]], concerning her rape at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]]}}

===Theoretical Exes===
Chris has occasionally called past potential sweethearts '''theoretical exes'''.

===Zapbud===
{{quote|Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose,
though a Zapbud is the flower that heals your woes.|<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Zapbud.jpg|thumb|100px|A Zapbud]]
The '''zapbud''', first introduced in the [[Wall of Originals]], was a part of Chris's [[Anchuent Prophecy|half-assed attempt to create lore]] in his Sonichu comics, being a flower which he had created solely for this reason. In keeping with the comic's notorious lack of subtlety (if the name of the thing didn't give it away already), the flower itself is a generic sunflower design that has four magenta petals with yellow lightning bolts on it, and a blue center with a single yellow lighting bolt. Adding to this, Chris wanted to avoid making it ambiguous that they were supposedly Rosechu's most favorite things, and the chosen design for it, being the same color scheme as Rosechu, made this loud and clear (even ignoring the fact that Chris plastered Rosechu's name on it in one instance). Despite how special they supposedly are in the world of the comics, being Rosechu's favorite flower, and Chris even going out of his way to create a Magic Model mold of one in his Lego recreation of CWCville,<ref>[[:File:0881-Cwcville30.JPG]]</ref> they are so generic that the most that Chris could say about them is that they also just smell "nice".<ref>[[Mailbag 24#Really short answers]]</ref> Chris's constant use of Zapbuds (despite how utterly generic they were) became a sort of in-joke amongst Christorians and observers, to the point where an OC, Cindy Zapbud, was created and named after it.

Nonetheless, the term "zapbud" was also used in the comics as a term of endearment, which is most noted when Sonichu referred to Rosechu as his "blossiming zapbud" in [[Sonichu 8]].

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

==See also==
* [[List of Love Quest candidates]]
* [[Boyfriend-free girl]]
* [[Gal pal]]
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
* [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Noviophobia]]
* [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Sweetheart

2025-08-19T14:11:21Z

Stronax: /* Definition */

{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, a trip to a hooker (two in fact), and [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his mother]]. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with. Chris is also ignorant to the high standards women place in modern society, standards that Chris doesn't meet.

==Qualifications==
{{Misinfo|Be aware that the qualifications listed may not reflect Chris's current tastes.}}
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

{{quotebox|
*18-Years Old <ref group = note>Chris's age then</ref>
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring}}

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

{{quotebox|
*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>}}

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: in addition to all the reasons listed above, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]]. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest call]] was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by many, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart enormously low: nobody wants to date a literal motherfucker. While there's now [[Flutter|another potential contender for this role]], it seems less and less likely that she will actually take up the mantle.

==Related Terms==
Chris has also used other affectionate terms for gal-pals and potential sweethearts.
===Darling===
{{main|Darling}}
===Sweetbolt===
[[Image:sweetbolt.jpg|right|thumb||What's wrong? More than you can possibly imagine.]]

'''Sweetbolt''' is a term of endearment coined by [[Chris]] and primarily used by his electric hedgehog characters. He considers it a clever play on the more familiar "[[sweetheart]]." The spelling of the word is somewhat fluid – Chris variously spells it "SweetBolt," "Sweet bolt," or "Sweet-bolt."

"Sweetbolt" sounds awfully strange even in the context of Chris's comics, as when [[Rosechu]] refers to [[Sonichu]] as her sweetbolt. However, it sounds an order of magnitude more bizarre when Chris uses it to describe himself:

{{quote|I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your SweetBolt. :)|[[Chris]], to [[PandaHalo]], concerning her rape at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]]}}

===Theoretical Exes===
Chris has occasionally called past potential sweethearts '''theoretical exes'''.

===Zapbud===
{{quote|Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose,
though a Zapbud is the flower that heals your woes.|<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Zapbud.jpg|thumb|100px|A Zapbud]]
The '''zapbud''', first introduced in the [[Wall of Originals]], was a part of Chris's [[Anchuent Prophecy|half-assed attempt to create lore]] in his Sonichu comics, being a flower which he had created solely for this reason. In keeping with the comic's notorious lack of subtlety (if the name of the thing didn't give it away already), the flower itself is a generic sunflower design that has four magenta petals with yellow lightning bolts on it, and a blue center with a single yellow lighting bolt. Adding to this, Chris wanted to avoid making it ambiguous that they were supposedly Rosechu's most favorite things, and the chosen design for it, being the same color scheme as Rosechu, made this loud and clear (even ignoring the fact that Chris plastered Rosechu's name on it in one instance). Despite how special they supposedly are in the world of the comics, being Rosechu's favorite flower, and Chris even going out of his way to create a Magic Model mold of one in his Lego recreation of CWCville,<ref>[[:File:0881-Cwcville30.JPG]]</ref> they are so generic that the most that Chris could say about them is that they also just smell "nice".<ref>[[Mailbag 24#Really short answers]]</ref> Chris's constant use of Zapbuds (despite how utterly generic they were) became a sort of in-joke amongst Christorians and observers, to the point where an OC, Cindy Zapbud, was created and named after it.

Nonetheless, the term "zapbud" was also used in the comics as a term of endearment, which is most noted when Sonichu referred to Rosechu as his "blossiming zapbud" in [[Sonichu 8]].

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

==See also==
* [[List of Love Quest candidates]]
* [[Boyfriend-free girl]]
* [[Gal pal]]
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
* [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Noviophobia]]
* [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Bob Chandler

2025-08-19T13:59:33Z

Stronax: /* Chris */

{{Incomplete|[[ThePCAssassins]]}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}

{{quote|I had more freedom when he was alive.|Chris, reflecting on his life prior to his father's death.<ref name=LoudNoise>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Claiming hospital staff killed Bob]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I don't believe he ever, Mr. C, any of her past boyfriends, ex-husbands... haven't really reached and hit her G-spot really with their dicks.|Chris, insulting Bob's memory by claiming that [[Affair with Mother|he was better at fucking]] [[Barbara Chandler|the man's wife]] [[Chris and his ego|than he ever was]].<ref>[[Incest Call]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
| image = Chrischansdad.jpg
|imagesize = 250
|aliases = Bob Bobby Mr. C [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]] [[Cole Smithey#Relationship with Barbara and Bob|Republican cur]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Gallop Crush]] Robertchu<ref>[[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris#Sonichu genealogy for Chris, Bob and Ted Bundy]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|day = 4
|month = 9
|year = 1927
|deathday = 6
|deathmonth = 9
|deathyear = 2011
|gender = Male
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White [[Count Dankula|Half-Sonichu]]<ref>Planted by [[Idea Guys#Lingering influence|Idea Guy]], mentioned in [[Count Dankula]] interview</ref>
|religion = Protestant (Methodist)
|label8 = Height
|ft = 5
|in = 7.5
|spouse = Patricia Faye Harley (1956–1980, divorce) [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Ann Weston]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = Dr. David Alan Chandler Carol Suzanne Chandler [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Cole Smithey]] (stepson)
|grandchildren = [[Savannah Chandler]]
|father = Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906–1977)
|mother = Jean Hollomon (1906–1945)
|education = [[wikipedia:Auburn_University|Auburn University]] ([[wikipedia:Bachelor of Electrical Engineering|BEE]]) [[wikipedia:Jacksonville_State_University|Jacksonville State University]] (did not graduate)
|occupation = Military communications Engineer Inventor
|saga = {{saga|childhood|cn}}, {{saga|greene|cn}}, {{saga|bearstein|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|ivy|cn}}, {{saga|secondexile|cn}}
}}

'''Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]] – 6 September [[2011]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180110224343/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], the stepfather of [[Cole Smithey]], and husband of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," came from this incident, wherein he promised to cut the internet down.

Despite being estranged from his other children, and despised by his stepson for abusive behavior, Bob was widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]] by Christorians, and – as far as Chris's own testimony can be trusted – he treated Chris better than any of his previous children. Bob had serious difficulties working with Chris's [[autism]], a disorder that he and his wife did not fully understand, but nonetheless, he had high hopes for his child in spite of the difficulties that he faced. Bob hoped to instill Chris with a variety of interests that reflected his own varied tastes, and he created The Dreaming Studio in their backyard in the hopes that they'd create things there (though, sadly, nothing of note was ever created there).

Because of this, Bob's popularity stems from being somewhat concerned with Chris's foolish behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in Chris's sorry life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising his son. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb, he at least made the effort, even if his attempts were futile or harmful at worst. That being said, he also encouraged Chris to ''not'' seek employment in favor of getting [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]], even though Chris could still hold a part-time job and receive those benefits, so he's not entirely blameless for the sorry state that his son is in today, either. Not to mention that many of [[Homos|Chris's more backward]] [[Chris and race|social perspectives]] that he had in the "Classic Era" stem from his influence.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. It seems that Chris's passion for [[Honest Content]] did not fall too far from that tree, although Bob at least had a filter that his son lacks. Whether in person or over the phone, Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone. According to Chris, he was also a strong negotiator.<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#Browsing Kiwi Farms]]</ref>

On 6 September 2011, Bob died of complications from heart failure at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU, surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObitarchive">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> He was survived by his wife and son, who then had to become the man of the house. Chris occasionally raked in some income through commission work, though he has never looked for a serious career. Chris initially came to terms with his father's death in a conventional, healthy way, but eventually turned to a [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism where he genuinely believed that his father was alive in [[Dimensions|another dimension]] as a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named Robertchu.

Years later in 2021, Chris would disgrace Bob's memory by repeatedly having dubiously-consensual sex with his wife in an [[Affair with Mother|incest]]-based affair, with Chris bragging that he could get Barb off better than "Mr. C" ever could. Following this incident, both were separated from the house that he maintained, with Chris jailed, Barb temporarily hospitalized before eventually returning to the residence, and the Dreaming Studio left abandoned for good.

==Biography==
Bob was born on 4:15 PM at a medical arts building in {{w|Fort Worth, Texas}},<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in {{w|Sylacauga, Alabama}}.<ref name="About">[[Date with Emily#Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)]]</ref> He was the only child of Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler Sr. (8 February 1906<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/103153414/robert-franklin-chandler ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328063730/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM archive])</ref> – 27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328072547/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6 archive])</ref>), an Alabamian insurance agent, and Jean Hollomon (28 March 1906<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/5947049/jean-chandler ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328094240/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M archive])</ref> – 10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328092829/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8 archive])</ref>), a Texan housewife.<ref>[[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]]</ref> Bob has eight younger half-siblings on his father's side.<ref>https://www.hufffuneralhome.com/obituary/Dorothy-Chandler</ref> He also mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> However, a distant relative disputed his Cherokee heritage,<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree#Ancestry.com content]]</ref> and his son's [[Cherokian Clan#Reality|DNA test results]] in 2018 belied any American Indian descent. It is common for white Southerners to make dubious claims to Cherokee ancestry, for a variety of historical reasons.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210120042/https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/10/cherokee-blood-why-do-so-many-americans-believe-they-have-cherokee-ancestry.html Slate article]</ref>

[[File:Robert Sr 1942.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|Bob in army uniform, 1946]]

[[File:Bob_Chandler_1945.png|thumb|right|200px|Bob Chandler (left) as a Boy Scout in 1945.]]

Bob has said that he was, "...interested in the world," around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign [[stamps]] as a child in the [[1930s]]; his first stamp was of {{w|Michael I of Romania}}. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> About 100 or so survived the 2014 [[house fire]].<ref>[[Discord Q&A 4#Bob's record collection]]</ref>

Bob joined the [[wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts]], becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster for over 20 years.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] at the age of 27, which would have been in 1954 or 1955.<ref>[[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up]]</ref>

===Service and education===

A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School lists a "Bobby Chandler" in the freshman class and glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in spring 1945 before matriculating at {{w|Auburn University}} as an aeronautical engineering major that autumn.

[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Bob apparently had knowledge that the Army desired,<ref>(Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725175556/http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14])</ref> was conscripted as a special draftee in 1946 and placed in the {{w|Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps}}. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School in {{w|Fort Monmouth}}, New Jersey, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. Bob recounted a reckless decision he made during his time in the Army after returning from Korea for the Christmas holiday in 1947. He hitchhiked to New York City, where he stayed for two weeks before running out of money, and then had to figure out how to get back to Fort Monmouth.. Serving until 1948, he was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal: his service number was 44107856.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210120633/https://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%2520desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538%2C4652469%2C8564216%2C1000879%2C987835%2C4549799%2C991002%2C8565331%2C5188385%2C8565346]</ref>

Figuring he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college, {{w|Jacksonville State Teachers College}} (now Jacksonville State University), after leaving the military. He studied pre-engineering and played French horn for the band and orchestra there for two years before returning to Auburn University, where he studied electrical engineering and graduated in 1952 with a {{w|Bachelor of Electrical Engineering}} degree.<ref>(page 269 of the 1952 yearbook)[https://web.archive.org/web/20170725175342/http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] {{w|G.I. Bill}}.</ref><ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref name = "Meet">[[Date with Emily#Meet the Parent (0:05:20–0:07:17)]]</ref> While he was at Auburn, he was part of the band once again, was a member of {{w|Wesley Foundation}}, a [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|United Methodist]] religious group; and Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.

===Career===
[[File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg|thumb|200px|Article on Bob's 25th anniversary at General Electric.]]

A 1946 military record included Bob's occupation while he was a student as "tinsmith, coppersmith, and sheet metal worker".

Bob worked for {{w|Western Electric}} as an engineer for four years, where he designed a variety of electrical subsystems, including relays, telephones and valve systems. Initially, he was working with the radar systems in test-planning automatic test equipment. With Western Electric, Bob and his co-worker filed a patent for electrical terminal block in 1955, which was published in 1959.<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US2884613A/en</ref> During the 1950s, he lived in [[wikipedia:Winston-Salem, North Carolina|Winston-Salem, North Carolina]], where his father and half of his half-siblings lived for the rest of their lives.

He was then offered a job by [[wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]] in [[wikipedia:Utica, New York|Utica, New York]]. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he left after three years, returning back to Winston-Salem for a few years before transferring to [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] in Southwest Virginia, where he discovered his love for the mountains. In 1975, he moved to [[Richmond]], where he worked until 1980, when he was transferred to [[Charlottesville]].<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] claimed, in an email to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the {{w|Nintendo Entertainment System|NES}} "...might not have arrived so soon,"<ref name="Barbara" /> ignoring the fact that the NES was designed and released in Japan in 1983, without influence from American electronics.

{{quote|Bob Chandler is one of the most creative engineers in the organization.|The General Manager at G.E.<ref>[[:File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg]]</ref>}}

Examples of Bob's accomplishments include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a vehicle logging system.<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US3486009</ref> Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed controls<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US3889849</ref> that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#A Word from Snorlax]]</ref>

Bob retired in 1987 at the age of 59 or 60 after 31 years of service for General Electric.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris#Open Letter - December 26th, 1987]]</ref> His relatively early retirement may have been provoked by health problems, as he writes in his December 1987 [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter to Chris]] that "I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you".

Bob himself was proud of his, "...natural inclination for logic," although he was, "...inundated," by all his designs and whether he did well for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that Internet down.]]

{{quote|I have been very interested in the world since I was 10 years old, and that was 70 years ago and, the, uh, I'm very fond of and I really truly believe in the United Nations, but you won't find anybody else in my countryside or around here, I think, that does. (laughing) But anyway, I'm very world conscious.|[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|Bob]]}}

Bob referred to himself as a {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican}}, and he did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election}}.<ref name="Prank calls"/> That said, he had misgivings about {{w|Bob McDonnell}}, the Republican candidate in the {{w|Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|2009 Virginia gubernatorial election}} and the ultimate winner of the election, possibly because of McDonnell's support for very strict anti-abortion laws, which made no exceptions for cases of rape or [[Chris and sex#incest|incest]]. Bob and Chris considered writing in Snoopy from ''[[Peanuts]]'' as a protest vote.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> but he continued talking on the grounds that his grasp of post-Soviet geography was shaky. He apparently convinced himself that Molvanîa was the same place as the real country of {{w|Moldova}}, a former Soviet republic located near the Black Sea.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.

Besides Korea, Bob also visited Australia and England at some point in his life.<ref name = "Retired Life">[[Date with Emily#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref>

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia Harley on 29 September 1956 at a United Methodist church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. They had two children, [[David Alan Chandler]] (b. 1961) and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] (b. 1964).

Bob and Patricia separated on 28 June 1976 before divorcing on 28 January 1980.<ref name="BobObit">https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/dailyprogress/name/robert-franklin-chandler-obituary?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref><ref>[[:File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png]]</ref> Bob's relationships with David and Carol were strained in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Because of this, Chris did not know he had a niece via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], until she was 8 years old,<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref> and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more distant. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and the last they had heard was that she was working for the federal government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref> David, on the other hand, did attend his father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]].]]

Bob and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] met in 1979 at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader in the late 1970s).<ref name=godbear>[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref> Barbara was there with a friend and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Bob claimed that Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hallway," though Barb has disputed this.<ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 2]]</ref> This version of events may be why Chris figured that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]'s friend Chuck McGuigan, who worked at the pub as a bartender, has a vivid memory of them, "...acting out as a couple of drunken losers."<ref name="Cole2" />

They got married in 1980,<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> only months after Bob and Patricia had divorced.<ref>[[:File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg]]</ref> Barb later told Chris that she ultimately married Bob because, "...he owned [[14 Branchland Court|a house]]."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb and Bob did not have sex for at least two decades before Bob's passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms in the years leading up to his death.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] was nearly 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness ruined the relationship between himself and his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "...when that fuck Bob finally drops,"<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. At the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name = "Meet" />

===Chris===

{{see also|Bob's Letters to Chris}}

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[File:Dreaming studio.png|thumb|Dreaming studio of Mr. C and Little C. Where dreams do come true - 1989.]]

Bob's relationship with Chris was rather complex. While Bob was considered to be a better parent than his wife [[Barb]], he was by no means the good ol' pop-pop Chandler many thought he was. While Bob at least tried to help Chris, his attempts at doing so were either futile, misguided or even harmful to Chris in the long term.

When Chris was a boy, Bob encouraged him to learn more about the world and tried sharing his interests and hobbies, including engineering, geography and [[Stamps|stamp collecting]].

When Chris was seven, Bob converted a shed in the backyard of [[14 Branchland Court]] to a workshop where he and Chris could build things together, dubbing it the "dreaming studio." Chris could not recall what they had built together when asked about it in the years following Bob's death;<ref>[[IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> he and Barb had been using the space for hoard storage.

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but figured (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[television]], and can only associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob had difficulties understanding Chris' [[Autism]] and vehemently refused to get Chris the help he needed, likely out of fear driven inertia that is typical for people of his age and generation. In fact, he fought tooth and nail for years to keep Chris from getting the special education he needed to cope with the real world. It was the very reason why Bob rented a second home in a Chesterfield County so Chris couldn't attend special classes that Greene County recommended. Bob was most likely under the impression, that Chris would be thrown into a lunatic asylum, lobotomized and that Chris needs to be sheltered all his life because of it, never mind his autistic [[Savannah|granddaughter]], who lives a relatively normal life.

When Chris entered [[Manchester High]], Bob arranged for [[Gal pal|a bunch of girls]] to babysit and pretend to be friends with Chris. He gave Chris money to hand it to at least one gal pal, claiming it was for her Friendship and Attention.

Bob enjoyed collecting stamps as a boy growing up in the 1930s, and he continued to do so for several decades, with a focus on the United Nations and foreign countries,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> building a collection of stamp albums which filled six boxes.<ref>[[I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it]]</ref> He taught Chris about his hobby, buying him a beginner's stamp album in 1992.<ref>[[eBay#Chris's stamp album]]</ref> Chris seemed to enjoy the hobby as well, since he had many pages of stamps filled in. In [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letters]] to Chris (written when Chris was a few years old), Bob gave Chris permission to pass along his various collections onto others after inheriting them. In 2017, Chris began selling pieces of the inherited stamp collection. Bob's pieces were decently priced, generally for $5 per set, though he tried to sell his own personal stamp album for $1,000.<ref>[[eBay]] - see listings for their stamp collections.</ref>

Bob's racist joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

Chris's phobia of [[Pickle|penises]] was apparently sparked from barging into his parents' room, where Bob had a habit of sleeping nude from the waist down.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref>

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements [sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded).|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. As seen during the lead up to the fateful encounter between [[Emily]], Chris and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], Bob seemed to be more than happy to discuss stories with people, even those he hadn't seen or heard that much of - [[Robert Simmons V]], who met Bob during his [[Church audio|visit to Chris's church]] conversed with him extensively, later saying that he was a 'really pleasant guy.' Bob also engaged in friendly and interesting conversation with [[ThePCAssassins]] many times through [[2010]] and [[2011]], further disproving Chris' belief .The antagonism to which Chris refers was likely Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.
[[File:Bob drawing Nov. '15.jpg|thumb|200px|left|A drawing of Bob by Chris, released in [[November 2015]].]]

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason as to why he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love," "support," "gratitude," and "willingness to help." Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris still ran for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional [[Mumble 1|frustration]] over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appeared that Bob was the source of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]
Once during a phone call with a troll, Bob stated that Chris was [[Chris and anger|"a hell of a lot nicer"]] and "has done a lot better than" the troll calling him.<ref name="Prank">[[Prank calls#Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>

After Chris got his now obsolete [[CADD]] degree, instead of telling Chris to get to work like any other parent would, he encouraged Chris to stay home just so he could continue to get his taxpayer-funded [[tugboat]].

He never seemed to get past the notion that Chris could and had already achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's emails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a "fag", even though he indirectly contributed to it through his unbalanced approach of socializing Chris.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence of others for granted. He also got genuinely emotional while reading a letter that his father had left for him on-camera, again indicating how much he misses his father.<ref>[[CLog 09042017 - Mister C]]</ref>

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the [[WTJU Marathon|1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon]], in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publicly honored his father's memory since his passing in [[September 2011]].

Bob lives on in his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the [[Lego]] minifigure representing him,<ref>Seen at 4:24 in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref> and displaying two photos of him in front of his TV.<ref>[[:File:Totem2ebay.jpeg]]</ref> He often sees Bob in his [[dreams]].<ref>[[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Still Feeling Lonely II|March 2012 Facebook Posts]]</ref><ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing|OkCupid Answers]]</ref>

Due to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris later expressed beliefs that Bob is half-Sonichu and is apparently still alive in the [[CWCville]] dimension. These beliefs began around December 2017 and continued even after the Idea Guys had been removed from power, as shown by the below quote from 2018's Father's Day.

{{quotebox|[[File:Father's Day 2018.jpg|200px|thumb]]

<nowiki>#HappyFathersDay</nowiki> to each and every Father in This World and in Every Single Other Dimension Too! My father is alive again! I still love him, even in his checker-patterned glory! ⚡️💙❤️⚡️<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191211070743/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1008449921387778048</ref>}}

In the [[Incest Call]], Chris claimed he was better at [[Affair with Mother|pleasuring]] [[Barb]] than his own father. One can only imagine Bob's reaction to this news if he were still alive to bear witness to what his son has become.

Despite his best efforts to the contrary, Chris, his second chance at being a father, was Bob's greatest failure as a parent, even when factoring in his strained relationship with his other children.

===Other relationships===
In spite of his redneck background, Bob seems to have gotten along better with foreigners than with his own countrymen. His closest friend in Richmond was Reverend Chen of Korean Canaan Presbyterian Church,<ref>[[Date with Emily#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> and he had English friends through his involvement with Matt's British Pub.<ref name=godbear></ref> He also had friends in Australia,<ref>BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7</ref> and Czechoslovakian friends in late 1970s, who were illegal immigrants escaping Czechoslovakia. Chris said Bob and Barb enjoyed conversing and drinking {{w|Slivovitz}} with them and that Bob would drive to Maryland to buy Slivovitz.<ref>[[Regina_e-mails#Random-access_humor_demonstration]]</ref>

From his father's second marriage, Bob had, "...a large number of half-brothers and sisters in... [[wikipedia:Winston-Salem, North Carolina|Salem, North Carolina]],"<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref> but he does not seem to have been very close with them. Bob's stepmother's obituary confirms that eight of these half-siblings were alive as of 2015.<ref>https://www.hufffuneralhome.com/obituary/Dorothy-Chandler</ref>

[[Prank calls#Call Bobby Chandler|Contrary to popular beliefs]], he did not have friends in the Ku Klux Klan.

==Later life, poor health and death==
{{See also|Death of Bob Chandler}}
[[File:Bob playbill for musical push cart.jpg|thumb|200px|Playbill for Mr. C. and his musical pushcart.]]

Bob lived on Social Security as well as his General Electric pension.<ref name = "Retired Life" /> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to 'swing with the music' on his swing there.<ref name="Retired Life" />

Bob had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple-bypass operations took place first in August 1980 and at last in 1992. He had {{w|Coronary artery disease}} and wore an {{w|Artificial cardiac pacemaker|artificial pacemaker}}.<ref>[[Autism papers#FAMILY_HISTORY:]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He apparently had several vivid near-death experiences: during [[Date with Emily#Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)|Chris's date with]] [[Emily]], Bob tells her that he has "died" several times, and Chris says that Bob, "...has seen the light, but did not actually go to it." In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build-up in his legs, which is symptomatic of CHF. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [sic] {{w|heart failure}}". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and [[White-Knighting|white knights]] alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Chris and his Ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210121845/https://www.healthline.com/health/chf-life-expectancy]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and [[Tour of Chris's House|lifestyle]] made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of [[Naïve|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well". Chris was, at least, half right.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
{{quote|Christian, you are not a girl! Go put your pants back on.|Bob, ''Sonichu'' #12}}

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb]]

In [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|"Spring Break, 2008"]], a radio announcement from [[Jamsta Sonichu]] mentions that Bob founded [[CWCville]] in 1982, presumably after Chris's birth on [[Chris's birthday|24 February]] given that Bob named the city after his newborn son. Comic Bob presumably served as mayor before Chris took the office at an unknown date. At other points, Bob was mentioned in Chris's tangents about hating men other than himself and his father.

In [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|"Date Ed"]], there are two dolls for the class to practice talking to, girls received "Robert" dolls, while boys received "Barbara" dolls, an obvious reference/homage to Bob and Barb.

Bob made his first official appearance in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Barb and various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

[[File:Bob,Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|right]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Bob appears in a set of pages that combine an autobiographical account of Chris coming out as a [[tomgirl]] to his parents, and a tribute to his late father. He is depicted as an elderly man, as the page took place in 2010 (due to Chris's [[Oedipus complex]], Barb is depicted as much more youthful). He attempts to dissuade Chris from continuing his tomgirl lifestyle, although Chris states that Bob later, "...told me he accepts and love ''[sic]'' me for who I am," shortly before his passing in 2011.

Chris concludes Bob's appearance in the book with a photo in memoriam of his life, saying that he and Barb continue to miss him every day.

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Bob, pictured at right, as ''Gallop Crush'', in a [[MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying that they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]. The ponified Bob, known as "Gallop Crush", appears as [[Night Star]]'s father, reaffirming the self-insert nature of Chris's ponysona.

In the [[Idea Guy]]-written [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], Bob's spirit crosses over into CWCville where he meets and strikes up a conversation with serial killer [[Ted Bundy]].

{{Mayors of CWCville}}

===As a toy===

<center><gallery>
File:BobAmiibo.jpg|[[Amiibo]] Bob, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]]. Oh yes.
File:ChrisFamilyEtsyC.jpg|Promo drawing
</gallery></center>

===Audio and video===

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
*[[Christmas|25 December]] [[2004]]: Bob makes multiple physical appearences in [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004]], where he appears remarkably depressed.
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]] in the [[kitchen]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church Visit|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn Internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also is audible at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these. He was usually sincere when talking with prank callers, providing them with true and honest information about himself and Chris, but was occasionally pushed to trolling them back, on one occasion telling a particularly obnoxious pair of trolls that he had ties to the Ku Klux Klan.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo, taken for the 1946 yearbook.
File:BobJax1950.PNG|Bob's 1950 Jacksonville State Teachers College sophomore yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1951.PNG|Bob's 1951 Auburn junior yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1952.PNG|Bob's Auburn senior yearbook photo.
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's 1946 U.S. Army draftee (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's 1946 Draft card on a physical detail (written in 1945).
File:BobPatMarriage.png|Bob and Patricia's newspaper engagement.
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
File:Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in the Jacksonville State Teachers University's dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
File:RobertChandler1960s.png|Bob in the late 1960s/early 1970s
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Christmas at the Chandlers, taken sometime during the 1980s.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg
File:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
File:1993family.png|Barb, Chris and Bob in [[1993]]
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
File:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
File:0090-Christmas95-5.jpg
File:0091-Christmas95-6.jpg
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg
File:0473-CWC18th4.jpg
File:0114-MomsBirthday97-2.jpg
File:0115-MomsBirthday97-3.jpg
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
File:Bob&BarbMay2000.png|
File:Bob1997article1.png|Bob's short brief article from Richmond Times-Dispatch in July 1997.
File:Bob1997article2.png|Bob's short brief article from Richmond Times-Dispatch in August 1997.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
File:0472-CWC18th3.jpg
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG
Image:Bob_80th.jpg
File:Robert Chandler, 19 June 2016 Facebook post photo.jpg|Last known photo.
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20201210122203/https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/141038783/robert-franklin-chandler Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
{{ChildhoodSaga}}
{{GreeneSaga}}
{{BearsteinSaga}}
{{SecondExile}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Greatest Generation]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2025-08-19T13:29:56Z

Stronax: /* Rocky Shoemaker */

{{Dated|gender dysphoria, HRT/valium in meds section and the effect jail has had on him}}

{{quote|My CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris, in 2008<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am only going to say this Once for those who may think me as delusional, crazy or shit like that. [[Chris and reality|I am Not delusional, crazy, or anything of the sort]].

I have my own magic powers that I am still learning about for myself from my [[Polyamorous marriage|family]] and [[Idea Guys|allies]].

I’ve already talked with psychiatrists and therapists years ago, so any new such meetings would be a very moot point.|Chris, 2018<ref name=notdelusional>[[July 2018 social media posts#Chris insists he isn't delusional, refuses to see a psychiatrist about it]]</ref>.}}

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|right|thumb|An artist's impression of [[Jail Saga#Transfer|part of Chris's time in jail]], due to [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|erratic behavior caused by mental health issues]].]]

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''mental health professionals'''; both psychologists and psychiatrists. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded, and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist of his own volition in the past, opting to see [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor, instead. The sole exception occurred in 2016, when Chris went to a gender psychologist over his [[transgender]] issues. Chris's various run-ins with the [[law]] have resulted in mandated therapy such as the [[Therapeutic Docket]], however, Chris has failed to adjust his behavior from such sessions.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]
[[File:AbstractMentalHealth.jpg|thumb|400px|Another insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autism|autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the [[trolls]]." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

It's no secret that Chris has always had a very childish mindset and views growing up as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|some sort of epic, arduous challenge,]] but it wasn't until a [[Kacey Call 10|conversation with Kacey]] that we knew just how serious this was; according to Chris, as a child, he never had any serious idea of what he wanted to be when he grew up (something all healthy children consider at one point or another), nor did the thought of becoming an adult ever truly cross his mind. This implies that Chris may have thought that he would remain a child forever.

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|...when people are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
{{Main|Autism}}
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at PVCC in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received sometime in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===Late-onset gender dysphoria===
{{Main|Gender dysphoria}}
{{Incomplete}}

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication, only under a different appellation.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for [[Obesity|substantial weight gain]], which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
One of the most frustrating elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Borb]] thinks that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of straitjackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever had was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listened to was [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claimed that he had no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> Chris and Rocky parted ways around [[2011]]. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are; regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]] and con artists such as the [[Idea Guys]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things; regardless of how any mental health worker worth their salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling ''other'' people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychoanalyst, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===Psychiatric Papers===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mount Sidney, Virginia (a small town in northeast Augusta County that's 50 miles west of his Ruckersville home). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was ordered to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional, and... Well... He still can't control his anger. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===Rocky Shoemaker===
Religious institutions are fond of providing spiritual counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she was not the best solution for Chris because...
#She is not a licensed counselor and as such unable to offer professional advice.
#He barely listened to '''anything''' she says anyway.
#She was not qualified, much less experienced in advising a mentally disturbed individual such as Chris
#When he listened, he misconstrued everything she said, accepting advice he liked and ignoring advice he didn't like. She told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remained as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remained the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls. [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?
#Chris doesn't want help regardless, only validation.

About the only thing that he took away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

[[Image:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|left|What do you get [[Dimensional Merge|when you cross]] a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally-ill]] [[Chris and socialization|loner]] with [[CWCville|a society]] [[Kick the Autistic|that abandons him and treats him like trash]]? [[26 December 2014|You get what]] [[100 2267|you fucking deserve]]!]]

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has virtually no common sense. Likewise, common sense being rather common, [[white knight|white knights]] and trolls alike are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. To put it bluntly, he doesn't get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering why exactly he doesn't get it. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to. Some white knights like [[Vivian Gee]] and [[Eschcal]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they turned troll or ween instead.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2011 assault-and-battery case===
The conditions of Chris's plea bargain in [[July 2012]] required him to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation, but it seems to have had little effect.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2014 pepper spray case===
Chris makes mention of therapy in his video [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]] and it was also reported by observers viewing his July 23 court hearing. The mental health group he attended was On Our Own of Charlottesville.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/activity/926374040790409</ref>

===Gender psychologist===
During 2016, Chris met with a gender psychologist who affirmed to him that he is [[transgender]].<ref>Chris changed the gender marker on his driver's license to identify him as female in 2016. The procedure to do this in Virginia is to have a professional vouch the patient is in gender transition on this form. Also mentioned by Chris in a [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] page</ref>

===Court-mandated therapy from 2018 mall trespass case===
Chris was directed to the [[Therapeutic Docket]] program and required to meet with a psychiatrist and therapy group between [[July 2018]] and [[April 2019]]. However, he failed to benefit from the resources, instead retreating further to his imaginary world and the bad actors validating his beliefs.

===DR Wolf===
Chris acted out a therapy session with fictional [[MLP|Brony]] character [[DRWolf]] in the February 2019 video [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]].

===Western State Hospital===
On 28 [[February 2022]], Chris was transferred from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] to [[Western State Hospital]]. While details were initially scarce, Chris eventually confirmed he had been sent there to make him sufficiently competent to stand trial.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 June 2022]]</ref>

Notably, the day before Chris returned to jail, staff members pinned him to the floor, which reminded him of a similar incident at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]].<ref>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref> He has gone on record to state that if they aren't wiped out by the [[Dimensional Merge]], he would sue the mental hospital in retribution.

Later on, Chris claimed that Western State Hospital was expected to place him in a group home but instead sent him back to jail, allegedly to "free up a room". Once again, he accused hospital staff of being "Abusive As Fuck" and "arrogantly shit-minded with their patients".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref> Whether or not any of this is true, given [[List of Chris's lies|Chris is a known liar]], has yet to be proven.

===Gateway Homes===
{{Incomplete}}

{{references}}

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and mental healthcare

2025-08-19T13:29:25Z

Stronax: /* Rocky Shoemaker */

{{Dated|gender dysphoria, HRT/valium in meds section and the effect jail has had on him}}

{{quote|My CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris, in 2008<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am only going to say this Once for those who may think me as delusional, crazy or shit like that. [[Chris and reality|I am Not delusional, crazy, or anything of the sort]].

I have my own magic powers that I am still learning about for myself from my [[Polyamorous marriage|family]] and [[Idea Guys|allies]].

I’ve already talked with psychiatrists and therapists years ago, so any new such meetings would be a very moot point.|Chris, 2018<ref name=notdelusional>[[July 2018 social media posts#Chris insists he isn't delusional, refuses to see a psychiatrist about it]]</ref>.}}

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|right|thumb|An artist's impression of [[Jail Saga#Transfer|part of Chris's time in jail]], due to [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|erratic behavior caused by mental health issues]].]]

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''mental health professionals'''; both psychologists and psychiatrists. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded, and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist of his own volition in the past, opting to see [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor, instead. The sole exception occurred in 2016, when Chris went to a gender psychologist over his [[transgender]] issues. Chris's various run-ins with the [[law]] have resulted in mandated therapy such as the [[Therapeutic Docket]], however, Chris has failed to adjust his behavior from such sessions.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]
[[File:AbstractMentalHealth.jpg|thumb|400px|Another insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autism|autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the [[trolls]]." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

It's no secret that Chris has always had a very childish mindset and views growing up as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|some sort of epic, arduous challenge,]] but it wasn't until a [[Kacey Call 10|conversation with Kacey]] that we knew just how serious this was; according to Chris, as a child, he never had any serious idea of what he wanted to be when he grew up (something all healthy children consider at one point or another), nor did the thought of becoming an adult ever truly cross his mind. This implies that Chris may have thought that he would remain a child forever.

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|...when people are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
{{Main|Autism}}
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at PVCC in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received sometime in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===Late-onset gender dysphoria===
{{Main|Gender dysphoria}}
{{Incomplete}}

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication, only under a different appellation.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for [[Obesity|substantial weight gain]], which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
One of the most frustrating elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Borb]] thinks that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of straitjackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever had was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listened to was [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claimed that he had no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> Chris and Rocky parted ways around [[2011]]. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are; regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]] and con artists such as the [[Idea Guys]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things; regardless of how any mental health worker worth their salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling ''other'' people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychoanalyst, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===Psychiatric Papers===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mount Sidney, Virginia (a small town in northeast Augusta County that's 50 miles west of his Ruckersville home). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was ordered to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional, and... Well... He still can't control his anger. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===Rocky Shoemaker===
Religious institutions are fond of providing spiritual counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she was not the best solution for Chris because...
#She is not a licensed counselor and as such unable to offer professional advice.
#He barely listened to '''anything''' she says anyway.
#She was not qualified, much less experienced in advising a mentally disturbed individual such as Chris
#When he listened, he misconstrued everything she said, accepting advice he liked and ignoring advice he didn't like.
She told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remained as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remained the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls. [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?
#Chris doesn't want help regardless, only validation.

About the only thing that he took away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

[[Image:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|left|What do you get [[Dimensional Merge|when you cross]] a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally-ill]] [[Chris and socialization|loner]] with [[CWCville|a society]] [[Kick the Autistic|that abandons him and treats him like trash]]? [[26 December 2014|You get what]] [[100 2267|you fucking deserve]]!]]

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has virtually no common sense. Likewise, common sense being rather common, [[white knight|white knights]] and trolls alike are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. To put it bluntly, he doesn't get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering why exactly he doesn't get it. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to. Some white knights like [[Vivian Gee]] and [[Eschcal]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they turned troll or ween instead.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2011 assault-and-battery case===
The conditions of Chris's plea bargain in [[July 2012]] required him to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation, but it seems to have had little effect.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2014 pepper spray case===
Chris makes mention of therapy in his video [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]] and it was also reported by observers viewing his July 23 court hearing. The mental health group he attended was On Our Own of Charlottesville.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/activity/926374040790409</ref>

===Gender psychologist===
During 2016, Chris met with a gender psychologist who affirmed to him that he is [[transgender]].<ref>Chris changed the gender marker on his driver's license to identify him as female in 2016. The procedure to do this in Virginia is to have a professional vouch the patient is in gender transition on this form. Also mentioned by Chris in a [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] page</ref>

===Court-mandated therapy from 2018 mall trespass case===
Chris was directed to the [[Therapeutic Docket]] program and required to meet with a psychiatrist and therapy group between [[July 2018]] and [[April 2019]]. However, he failed to benefit from the resources, instead retreating further to his imaginary world and the bad actors validating his beliefs.

===DR Wolf===
Chris acted out a therapy session with fictional [[MLP|Brony]] character [[DRWolf]] in the February 2019 video [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]].

===Western State Hospital===
On 28 [[February 2022]], Chris was transferred from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] to [[Western State Hospital]]. While details were initially scarce, Chris eventually confirmed he had been sent there to make him sufficiently competent to stand trial.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 June 2022]]</ref>

Notably, the day before Chris returned to jail, staff members pinned him to the floor, which reminded him of a similar incident at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]].<ref>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref> He has gone on record to state that if they aren't wiped out by the [[Dimensional Merge]], he would sue the mental hospital in retribution.

Later on, Chris claimed that Western State Hospital was expected to place him in a group home but instead sent him back to jail, allegedly to "free up a room". Once again, he accused hospital staff of being "Abusive As Fuck" and "arrogantly shit-minded with their patients".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref> Whether or not any of this is true, given [[List of Chris's lies|Chris is a known liar]], has yet to be proven.

===Gateway Homes===
{{Incomplete}}

{{references}}

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}

My Little Pony

2025-08-19T13:04:53Z

Stronax:

{{Off topic}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|I recommend buying yourself a My Little Pony figure of your favorite color or whatever. Now, uh, stroking the hair of said pony is very relaxing and therapeutic, and also rubbing it against your cheek. That's... nice.|Chris' advice for young men<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>}}

[[File:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris: The original brony.]]

'''''My Little Pony''''' is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs first created in [[1980s|1981]] by Hasbro. It is intended for girls aged 4–8, but ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'', its fourth incarnation running during the 2010s, earned [[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fandom|favorable acclaim]] among adults, and a cult male following called "[[Brony|bronies]]" ("pegasisters" for female fans). Chris is one of the few male fans to exist before the ''Friendship is Magic'' cartoon gained popularity; he picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made ''My Little Pony'' dolls for his friends. He has since developed an obsession over the ''Friendship is Magic'' cartoon, as well as a burning hatred for successor series ''[[Pony Life]]'' and ''[[Make Your Mark]]''.

Chris's early fascination with the series, long before it regained popularity with its fourth generation, means that he has occasionally been referred to as 'the first Brony' by observers, though Chris didn't refer to himself as part of the fandom until [[2011]]. Similar to other fandoms he's in, due to [[TooManyGames|past]] [[My Little Pony voice actresses|shenanigans]], Chris has become something of a black sheep amongst the normally progressive community.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

Prior to Chris's discovery by the internet, he had already made several homemade pony figures. The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]], his ''My Little Pony'' figurines can be seen hanging from his ceiling.
{{clear}}

===''Friendship is Magic'' (2010-2019)===
''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' is the longest-running incarnation of ''My Little Pony'', premiering during the 2010s and running for nine seasons, concluding its run in [[October 2019]].

Chris is a fan of the series, and was greatly distraught over what he feels is its premature ending.

===After ''Friendship is Magic'' (2019 onwards)===
{{main|My Little Pony Protests}}

{{quote|This is an official command from your [[CPU Blue Heart]] in agreement with Princess Celestia of Equestria all of which in our sister dimension. Thank you.|Chris using his [[messiah complex]] to address Hasbro for the continuation of ''Friendship is Magic''.<ref>[[Hasbro! MLP G4 Must Continue; NO MLP G5!]]</ref>}}

''Friendship is Magic'' ended its nine-year run in October 2019. Chris, at 37 years of age, couldn't bear to see his favorite cartoon end, and instead wallowed in his delusions and became convinced from his [[imaginary friends]] that G4 would continue. He took to video and Twitter to try to convince Hasbro to listen to him and to cancel their plans to reboot ''My Little Pony'' into its fifth generation, or G5.

In [[2020]], much to Chris's dismay, ''Friendship is Magic'' was succeeded by a spin-off series, ''[[My Little Pony: Pony Life]]'', which reunites most of the regular cast albeit with a radically-different animation style, which Chris likens to ''[[Wikipedia:Teen Titans Go! (TV series)|Teen Titans Go!]]'' by giving it the unaffectionate nickname, "GOPony"; however, his main gripe against the show is likely the fact that the cancellation of G4 failed to meet his [[Chris and reality|unrealistic prediction]] of the show continuing to Season 14, with all the main characters evolving into overpowered Alicorns.

In [[2021]], upon news that the ''My Little Pony'' G5 reboot was proceeding, Chris snapped out of his phase of [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu]], which he had kept up for over ten months, in order to personally bash the upcoming cartoon. Soon afterwards, he began protesting the new generation, albeit in a more subdued way than [[26 December 2014|before]]. By the time the reboot premiered, Chris was in jail, but his last upload prior to being placed behind bars was [[Direct_Message_to_Hasbro:_MLPG5_Is_Cancelled.|a furious rant directed at Hasbro]], and his old habits flared up once more, claiming that the very existence of the show would plunge reality into chaos. Even after his release and eventual return to the internet, Chris continued to protest G5 on Twitter - most recently, he has blocked the majority of the voice cast associated with the show in an act of protest, and has since come to believe, inexplicably and preposterously, that the G5 characters are 'demons in disguise', that the show - and Pony Life before it- are [[Russia]]n propaganda, and that G5 has triggered World War III. What prompted this radical shift, outside of existing delusions, is currently uncertain.

==Chris and the Brony fandom==
{{main|Brony}}

Bronies are teenage-to-adult fans of ''My Little Pony'', in particular the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' generation. Bronies have organized [[conventions]] themed around the series. Chris is believed to be one of the earliest bronies in the community.

==Cutie mark==
[[File:Cutie mark.jpg|thumb|200px|"Shaking my ass at Walmart is my destiny, 'cause that's what my cutie mark is telling me."]]

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol on both an individual pony's thighs, representing their special talent and interest. Chris's "special talent", it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris likely would have defined himself by his art or perhaps his [[love quest]], but at this point seems to be anchoring his entire personality to his tomgirl status. Somewhat ironic is the fact that despite the implication of tomgirlhood being his special talent, Chris is a [[Tomgirl Pictures|very, ''very'' unconvincing tomgirl]].

In a [[Forgot the Glitter|leaked video]] released on [[February 2012|25 February 2012]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the two gender symbols, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and art|felt-tip pens]].

==OCs==
{{See also|Night Star}}

In [[June 2017]], Chris shared the result of a cutie mark generator quiz to [[Facebook]].<ref>[[June 2017 Facebook posts#Chris's MLP mark]]</ref> Inspired, Chris would later that day use the design to create a new original character. Observers would underestimate [[NightStar2891|how far he would take this]].

Chris's ponysona is uncreatively named "[[Night Star]]". He has created a second [[Twitter]] account under this name, using it to white knight himself against [[trolls]] and potential [[sweethearts]]. Since 2017, Chris has created numerous ponysonas for his loved ones and allies, including [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|his mother and father]], [[Diamond Melody|his former sweetheart, Jessica]], [[:File:CWC drawing for Joshua Moon.jpg|Null]], as well as some original characters influenced by other people, including [[Kun T'Nyuget]] and [[Mad Munchkin|Gary Stu]].

==Merchandise==
{{incomplete}}
Regardless of his considerable [[debt]]s, Chris is not hesitant to splash out his [[monthly tugboat]] on unnecessary ''Pony'' merch. The following is a list of known ''My Little Pony'' merchandise purchased by Chris:

{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="700"
|-
!Image
!Item
!Description
!Reference
|-
|[[File:RainbowDashDoll.jpg|200px|center]]
|Rainbow Dash doll
|''See reference.''
|<ref>[[Correction of EX relationship status]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:EquestriaGirlsBluray.jpg|200px|center]]
|''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' Triple Play Blu-ray
|Chris uses the Blu-ray as a reference when explaining that his Lego MHS was partly inspired by the MLP spinoff.
|<ref>[[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:Madman.jpg|200px|center]]
|Vinyl Scratch glasses
|As seen in the [[26 December 2014|pepper spray video]], Chris likely bought [https://www.amazon.com/My-Little-Pony-Equestria-Convertible/dp/B00IM2TW0M/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=My+Little+Pony+Equestria+Vehicle&qid=1594912020&sr=8-3 this toy set] (or similar) which came paired with the glasses.
|<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref> <ref>[[OmegaCon]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:The Clopper.PNG|100px|center]]
|Fluttershy t-shirt
|Also known as "The Clopper".
|<ref>[[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men]] </ref> ''et al.''
|-
|[[File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|200px|center]]
|''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'' Minis (at least 3)
|Chris created his [[Christine Doll]] using parts from Vinyl Scratch and Fluttershy "Minis". He also bought a spare Vinyl to pose the dolls together.
|<ref>[[Christine Doll]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:Sonicrainboom.png|100px|center]]
|Sonic Rainboom t-shirt
|''See reference.''
|<ref>[[Jungle bells]]</ref> ''et al.''
|-
|[[File:I'm Done Adulting T-shirt.png|200px|center]]
|''I'm Done Adulting. Let's Be Pony'' t-shirt
|''See reference.''
|<ref>[[:File:I'm Done Adulting Facebook like-min.png]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:Flufflepuff cwc glasses.jpg|100px|center]][[File:BC fb haul 1.JPG|100px|center]]
|Fluffle Puff plushy (with bag)
|Plushie of a popular fan fiction character (BronyCon 2017).
|<ref>[[BronyCon#2017]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:BronyConNowacking2.jpg|200px|center]]
|''Guardians of Harmony Fan Series'': DJ Pon-3 figurine
|Blocked by [[Nowacking]], Chris bought this for the VA as part of a failed truce (BronyCon 2018).
|<ref>[[BronyCon#Nowacking rejection]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:Sylvia with Chris in bed 8 Nov 2018.jpeg|200px|center]]
|''My Little Pony'' Quilt Set
|''See references.''
|<ref>[[:File:Sylvia with Chris in bed 8 Nov 2018.jpeg]]</ref> <ref>[[:File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|
|Various ''Funko POP!'' MLP Vinyl figures
|Among which is Princess Celestia and Discord.
|<ref name=livestream>[[Analysis Anarchy Reaction Livestreams#Reaction Video: Red Vs Blue Part 1]]</ref> ''et al.''
|-
|
|Princess Luna plushy
|''See reference.''
|<ref name=livestream></ref>
|-
|[[File:Bottlecaps.jpg|200px|center]]
|''Fallout: Equestria'' Bottlecaps
|Chris bought these from an online artist because they were "[[COVID-19|affected by the convention cancellations]]".
|<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Money well spent]]</ref>
|}
</center>

==In the comic==
[[File:Sonichu 12-9 Cover.jpg|thumb|200px|''Sonichu'' #12-9 front cover]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her favorite pony by her side, [[Wedding Comic|''Sonichu'' Special #2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony menagerie.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] Robee performs the "Sonic Rainboom", a stunt performed in the show when Rainbow Dash goes fast and makes a rainbow. In a bonus epilogue set in Ponyville, Night Star introduces [[DJ Jamsta]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]], who perform "[[Love is Love (song)|Love is Love]]" live in concert.

Chris' passion for both his comic series and ''My Little Pony'' came together in [[2017]], when he announced work on the ''Pony''-centric comic, [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]. He revealed that #12-9—formerly labeled ''Sonichu'' #13 because ''superstition''—would include the self-described ''[[Chris and his Ego|fan-fiction but potentially canon]]'' life story of Night Star.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref><ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/sonichu-12-9-14049434?utm_campaign=postshare&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook</ref>

The comic follows Night Star as she overcomes hurdles similar to the inspiring franchise, with a dash of Chris' [[naïve]] take on [[Sex|romance]]. As per previous issues, a number of story elements were influenced by contemporary sagas, including [[Diamond Melody|Jessica Quinn]] and [[Kun T'Nyuget|the Idea Guys]]. Several members of the Mane Six and Discord appeared as cameos throughout the story. Characters from [[October 2017 Facebook posts#MLP kids party|the movie]], mostly Captain Celaeno and Tempest Shadow, even played a major role in the plot in the fourth part of the comic.

Aside from a [[Sonichu Special 7|Special]], which was used to iron out [[Ben Saint]]'s canon-defying comic, Night Star makes a brief appearance in the [[Sonichu 13|next issue of ''Sonichu'']].

{{clear}}

==Gallery==
===The Original Brony===
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:Chris Pony.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] The original Cheroki-Chan, made with Chris's own [[hair]] and Crayola Fuckin' Model Magic [[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] The improved store-bought Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Death threats|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Dreams|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan Schroeder|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchemest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', though part of the name may come from [[Wikipedia:Squall Leonhart|Squall Leonhart]] of [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|''Final Fantasy VIII'']].
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]]. Based on Megan's brother [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony. A Christmas gift for Tyler, the son of Tony the Gym Leader.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. A gift for Briana, one of the daughters of Gym Leader Tony.
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]] type. A gift for Caitlyn, the youngest daughter of Tony the Gym Leader.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony. Based on Linnea, Anna's friend and co-worker.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." Most likely based on Federico Venegas, a young Spanish boy who Chris, for unknown reasons, befriended despite Federico being 14 years younger than him.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2#26 July]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[BABSCon]]
*[[BronyCon]]
*[[BronyMate]]
*[[Christine Doll]]
*[[List of toys]]
*[[My Little Pony voice actresses]]
*[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]
*[[Unicorn cosplay]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]]'' at [[Wikipedia]]
{{MLP}}
{{TV}}
{{Toys}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]
[[Category:Television shows]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Chris and his ego

2025-08-19T12:51:31Z

Stronax: A literal kick the autistic game is never going to happen. If anything, his ago is the main issue why he is wasting away the way he is now.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Dated|[[Jail communications]], and details about the [[Idea Guys]] in the Naivete section}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|WELL, PRIDE IS NOT A SIN, FOR ONE NEEDS SOME SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE TO MOTIVATE THEMSELVES AND INSPIRE OTHERS WITH SOUL AND HEART.|CPU Blue Heart distinguishing "pride" from "arrogance", ignoring that "pride" can have both a positive and negative connotation.<ref>[[:File:JailArt17.jpg]]</ref>}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris and his personality|Chris's flaws]]. It is because of this egotism that Chris got so many trolls and why he is never going to have a Sweetheart.

[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|Chris strokes his ego by having two of [[Ben Saint]]'s characters admire him.|thumb|250px]]

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of a beloved wife, children, and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris and remorse#Shifting blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a psychopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. Quite simply, [[Chris and reality#In the real world|he grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. His paternal half-siblings managed to acquire doctorate degrees, becoming an eye doctor and a math expert respectively. They were able to develop and learn from the past.

Chris's development isn't just delayed – it is arrested. His {{w|egocentrism}} has persisted well into his forties when most children usually grow out of it around age seven. Autism isn't to blame entirely; while autistic people's idiosyncrasies can make them appear self-centered on the surface, only a few are self-absorbed. Most still have interest in others, and many get help to develop coping strategies and social skills. Not Chris, though.

Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Enablers|people]] [[White-Knighting|let him]].

===The enablers===
{{incomplete|information on how his parents enabled Chris}}
[[File:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Speaking of education, it can also be said the school system was yet another enabler in Chris's formative years. This was especially true at [[Manchester High]]. Chris's parents and the principal helped arrange the [[gal-pals]]. This has resulted in Chris developing a rather warped view on women and friends; they let Chris believe they were legitimate friends, but in reality, they only stayed close with him out of pity and/or to protect him from bullies. [[Manchester High Leaks|Chris received passing grades on schoolwork he didn't do correctly]], yet still eventually graduated on [[honor roll]] (or so he says), presumably out of excessive pity on the teachers' part. Were that indeed the case, it might have encouraged Chris to put in less than half-baked effort into things and yet act like the end result is something spectacular.

===The Information Superhighway===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet|Computers}}

A member of the {{w|Xennials|Oregon Trail generation}}, Chris has made many significant memories before 1991, when the {{w|World Wide Web}} made Internet access feasible for the masses<ref>"World Wide Web" and "Internet" are often used interchangeably, but they are different services. The Internet is a network and protocol for connecting computers, dating back to the 1960's. The Web ''uses'' the Internet to transfer resources such as documents via URL's, invented in 1991. [[How To Talk To Girls|One is the magnet, and the other is the metal]].</ref>. However, he would use the Internet regularly by the time he left [[high school]]. Born in [[1982]], he came of age in [[2000]], placing his childhood in a different millennium from his adulthood. Windows XP came out soon after, and with it came a multitude of "prosumer" creative programs, giving Chris something to do after kissing his [[gal-pals]] goodbye.

With these new programs, Chris could record and share his own [[music]], publish his comics online, and even create his own [[DVD]]. These services were previously reserved for professionals who had access to expensive studio equipment, but they were now in the hands of the masses. Later in the decade, Chris became involved with [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]], providing even more venues for self-publication. He no longer needed to wait for the [[Chris in the media|news media]] to notice him; he could ''be'' the media!

Chris joined YouTube much earlier than many more respected web-celebs, during a time when most people saw it as a silly cat video website, and not a viable career that people would genuinely desire having. But remember: this was Chris's closest brush with fame since the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local]] [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|news]].

===Blind luck and the cherry-picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel, partially because he doesn't have much else to do. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does - on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler - is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

===Big fish, small pond===
Chris is a small town [[transgender|girl]], living in a [[Saddest Heart in the World|lonely world]]. Let's take a look at the cities of his life:

* [[Ruckersville]] is such a tiny place that it only has one other notable resident: NASCAR driver Philip Morris, who is no Jeff Gordon or Danica Patrick.
* The neighboring city of [[Charlottesville]] is mostly relevant for [[UVA]], the Monticello, and a handful of political rallies. It is a historic town, but it still has a small-town feel. It offers suburban conveniences like public parks, movie theaters, and a multitude of strip malls, but it lacks the hallmarks of a big city.
* Chris's teenage environment, suburban [[Richmond]], is much more robust. However, Chris had a very sheltered adolescence and experienced little of what growing up in a large metropolitan area usually entails. Richmond also suffers from being far from any other major cities (except for Washington, DC).

Chris rarely visits big cities that would quickly humble him. He lives in a very isolated world; his hometown has a smaller population than some high schools, and it isn't really known for up-and-coming artists. His main frame of reference was his classmates. Many of them took art as an elective, without any plans of becoming professionals.

Additionally, him "succeeding in spite of his [[autism]]" might have only been relevant because the smaller school population made him one of the few autistic kids in class. In reality, autism is a fairly common condition that's more-often-than-not quite manageable with the right help and support, and many autistic kids grow up to be successful autistic adults.

Despite not being conventionally popular, Chris peaked in [[high school]]. He bases most of his merit on his various HS accomplishments, and he talks about the time as if it were the time of his life. He considers himself bilingual because he took [[Spanish]]. He takes pride in the fact that his school displayed his work publicly, even though schools do that all the time. Chris's [[Comic Chris|comic book incarnation]] bears a strong resemblance to his high school self. Comic Chris doesn't wear [[glasses]] (the real Chris didn't wear them until 1998), and he's in good shape (much like HS Chris, likely because of gym class). Chris would often bring up his placement on the [[Honor Roll]] as proof of his intelligence, and his mental health would sharply decline after graduation.

Chris has taken his big fish mentality out of his small pond and transferred it to the large ocean of the [[Internet]], not knowing that it's filled with much larger [[trolls|sharks]].

One of Chris's <s>trolls</s> [[sweetheart]]s, [[Catherine]], suggested that he ought to move to a place like San Francisco or Seattle, or anywhere outside suburban Virginia. She told him that these places are more LGBT-friendly and have more job prospects, and that these West Coast cities have higher minimum wages and more robust benefit and rehabilitation programs for autistic folks. She had several major points, but Chris just told her "but there's no San Francisco in Virginia," completely missing all of them. Wanting to have his cake and eat it too, Chris chose to stay in his small-town Southeastern bubble because it's easier for him, yet he would clearly benefit from living in a more developed, liberal-minded area.

In the same conversation, Chris stated the real reason for not leaving is that he doesn't want to leave his mother behind. Chris even brought up that he doesn't want to move out of state after Barb dies.<ref>[[Cousin Al#Bowling Outing]]</ref>

Chris did acknowledge the perks of moving out of his valley, but it's only logical for him to move out. What is a person obsessed with fame and art doing in a place known for neither? Why does a loud-and-proud bisexual trans woman want to live in a place where most residents are massively homophobic and/or anti-trans? Why does the world's most documented autistic person want to live in an area that, by his own admission, doesn't understand autistic people? And why does someone who desperately wants a compatible partner limit himself to a tiny dating pool and then resort to long-distance troll dating, when there probably ''is'' someone for him in the Los Angeles area? And why, just why, does Chris want to treat his [[14 Branchland Court|dwelling]] as a temple for all to flock to, when it's so remote that Google Street View still doesn't cover it?<ref>Street view last checked 9 June 2021</ref>

Because it's easy to be a big fish in a small pond, even after pissing off the other fish and getting [[banned]] from your favorite hangouts.

Self-aggrandizing is fairly common in the family, and they can generally get away with it because of the small-town mentality. Chris's family loves to bring up [[Bob]]'s injection molding patent. He claims that we wouldn't even have a simple water bottle without it. In reality, {{w|plastic injection molding}} was invented before Bob was born. The Wikipedia article doesn't even mention Bob. All he designed was a control panel for one specific machine that has become obsolete for decades. If Bob didn't design it, [[Asperchu|someone else would have]]. Even Cole Smithey, who managed to escape the Weston-Chandler household as a young adult and go on to have a fairly successful career, bills himself as "The smartest film critic in the world".

==Chris and narcissism==
{{quote|I, was mistaken, but not wrong|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>}}
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's unlikely that Chris actually suffers from {{w|narcissistic personality disorder}} (although [[Barbara Chandler|it's likely that someone else in his family]] does). While extreme self-centeredness and egotism is often conflated with the term 'Narcissism', NPD is also an existing mental condition characterized by more factors, such as emotional manipulation or split personalities for different people. Given the fact that Chris himself is too stupid to actually emotionally manipulate anyone, let alone [[Chris and manipulation|not get manipulated himself,]] Chris most likely isn't a narcissist in the real sense. However, it's possible that Barbara, who did employ plenty of abusive NPD-like traits such as suicide-baiting, might have influenced Chris's behavior in some ways. Chris actually mentioned, in a theatrical manner, considering suicide on his facebook posts several times, [[June 2014 Facebook Posts#And It Begins...|even for something as inconsequential as]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic the Hedgehog's arms being recolored blue]]. Another noticeable aspect is Chris's need to shove his own name, initials and [[Sonichu (character)|creations]] every chance he gets, specially other people's works, if it guarantees fame.

That said, while a lot of factors like his relentless attention-whoring or his lack of empathy coincide with symptoms of the Disorder, factors of his ego were mostly results of his shitty upbringing and awful luck for winning contests giving him a huge sense of self-importance. Not to mention [[Chris and kindness|his lack of empathy for others]] was also partly caused by his autism. If Chris ''does'' have NPD, he likely has a [[Slow in the minds|low functioning]] variant of the disorder, and it may be hard to delineate his potential NPD symptoms from established ASD ones. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other [[Unholy Quintet|laughed-at-not-with dumbass]] on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]".

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention - good or bad - that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

{{quote|I realize I am famous like a princess|Chris on Twitter in October 2017}}

{{quote|Notable resident in Ruckersville, VA alongside a NASCAR racer, and about the 29,000th most popular individual in this world, so where is the Wikipedia Article about me? ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris on Twitter in August 2018}}

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like [[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|this]], [[Chris and health#Hygiene|no less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Fixation on self-image===
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.

<center><gallery>
File:CWCPOGS.jpeg|As pogs.
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christian.
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christine.
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris-chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|''Skylanders'' avatar.
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his ''Skylanders'' avatar, costing him $90 from the company.
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg ‎|As a ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' character.
File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|It's just getting ridiculous.
File:Chris, Night Star Equestria Girls Mini dolls3.jpg|Christine Doll 2.0, next to Night Star, both blatant self-inserts.
File:ChrisFunkos.jpg|As Funkos.
File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card featuring many of his self-inserts.
</gallery></center>

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|walking through the valley of the shadow of death]].]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

Compounding this was him also having to deal with a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS kept spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

A great example of Chris's persecution complex is the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video, where Chris blamed the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life - from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate - thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. One of the only times Chris ever actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was when he [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|accidentally erased]] his [[PS3]]'s data.

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates honesty with [[Honest Content|divulging every last detail about his life]]. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[semen]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|having incestuous dreams]], or even giving away his phone number and home address. The only thing he ''hasn't'' done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]], threatening his identity, and - most damaging of all - playing into his otherworldly delusions and fantasies. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), and her having him produce [[Forgot the Glitter|many]] [[Cakefarts|embarrassing]] [[Who's Your Brony?|videos]], Chris would continually renew his relationship with her.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

Over the years, however, Chris's gullibility would come back in varying ways, reaching a boiling point in [[2017]] when the [[Idea Guys]] got a hold of him. As it turned out, the easiest way to exploit Chris's gullibility was to appeal to his habit of [[Chris and coping|escapism]], especially during the [[Financhu Crisis|general turmoil]] he faced around the time. The Idea Guys heavily exploited him by near-permanently altering his [[CWCville|fantasy world]] and state of mind, with their effects so harsh that even when their iron grip was let go the following year, Chris continues to believe [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|the things they put into his head]]. Most infamously, he now believed he was a [[CPU Blue Heart|goddess]] - and later on, the outright reincarnation of [[Messiah complex|Jesus Christ]] - who would bring forth a [[dimensional merge]] on the world that, among other things, would take care of problems like his financial debt.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at his high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]] not realizing that public schools display students' art all the time.}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call, it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''{{w|confirmation bias}}''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "a parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris's series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.
[[File:The Captain congratulates Chris for 'providing a good service'.png|thumb|right|In [[Sonichu Special 5]], Chris found a way to twist a situation in which he was [[Guard Dogs|being helped]] into Chris himself doing the helping, ending up with him receiving praise from [[The Captain|a fictionalised version of one of the people trying to help him out]].]]

A more recent example of Chris's pride and ego superseding the efforts of people around him can be seen in [[Sonichu Special 5]], in which [[The Captain]] vociferously praises Chris, flanked by [[Sonichu (character)|his]] [[Rosechu (character)|creations]] - for 'provide[ing] a good service to us all in this world', when in reality, the opposite was true; Chris had been manipulated by the Idea Guys, and The Captain, a member of the [[Guard Dogs]], was the actual person providing said services in attempting to break Chris free of their influence.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|crap]] that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has [[Chris and money|absolutely no concept of money]], and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Barbara would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He's compulsively hoarded all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively bought everything he could on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played, but the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of [[Slow-in-the-minds|intellectual disability]] in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents, especially Barb. Not even a [[2014 house fire|house fire that set most of his items ablaze]] or [[Jail Saga|getting exiled from said house]] can stop his hoarding habits.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming [[death threats]] at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also support this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's posts contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards mating, thumbnails of lesbian sex, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a [[china]]-shaped lemon - which he even ''bragged'' about how his [[Trolls|haters]] would be offended by it.

If Chris is banned from a website, he will often simply make a new account to circumvent it - even if this violates the website's rules, which is another thing he refuses to accept. Similarly, if he is blocked by somebody he wants to talk to, he might even construct [[Night Star|a fake account under the guise of one of his OCs]] to bypass the block.

===Surrendering Information===
{{Main|Honest Content}}

If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. His enthusiastic revelation of his own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times, with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a ''MythBusters'' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his naysayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris's experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post, in particular, revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brush fire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

In 2021, this would eventually prove to be Chris's ultimate downfall. In late [[July 2021]], Chris told [[Bella]] that he had [[Affair with Mother|sexual intercourse with Barbara Chandler, his own ''mother'']], even going so far as to describe the acts in [[Honest Content|uncomfortably graphic detail]]. One would think that Chris, [[Chris and reality|being in the highly delusional state that he was in at the time]], could have easily been dismissed here, ''until'' he confirmed that it was all true when pressed for the truth by [[Dillin Thomas]]. As a consequence, many horrified listeners immediately contacted law enforcement, as incest is a Class 5 Felony in Virginia. Even more consequences would follow: Chris was removed from his home via an [[Emergency Protective Order]] and became the center of a humongous media circus that even had [[Ween|weens]] tracking him down in real-life, resulting in his eventual arrest on stream on the 1 August 2021.

===Fishing for sympathy===
{{quote|I... am so... smart! And yet I still have to- still learn everyth- I still n- have so much to learn.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref>}}

In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the [[Father Call]], where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter; said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet, which Chris felt was on par with Matthew carrying his dead friend's body during the war. In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, with his Facebook and Twitter entries blaming his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler (and his friend, Anna McLerran) is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris's mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

The habit of wanting sympathy is so ingrained in Chris that he instinctively hedges when he makes a positive statement about himself. An example is from a video in which he said, "I am so smart," and immediately followed by downplaying it and saying he still had much to learn.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[White-Knighting|white knights]]. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 9.jpg|thumb|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Butt garments

2025-08-19T12:42:11Z

Stronax:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

'''Butt garments''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for diapers, which are used to prevent [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] (or {{w|fecal incontinence}}, where one unintentionally shits themselves). He most likely called them "butt garments" to avoid the embarrassment of wearing diapers, despite the fact that he desperately needs them, after refusing to do a diet or exercises that the doctor recommended him. Chris hated the idea of wearing diapers, and made multiple attempts to throw out the diapers before [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] caught on and hid them away in her <strike>hoard</strike> room.<ref>[[Ivy_Q%26A#Cheating|Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Since coming out as a trans woman, Chris has chosen to wear maxi pads. Although he is unable to menstruate, these pads have similar moisture-absorbing properties and are large enough to function as adult diapers. It is very probable that these maxi pads now serve as his new butt garments.

==Discovery==
On 16 [[April 2009]], images of Chris in diapers [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|leaked]], with a special shout-out to spas from [[Sonichu (IRC channel)|#sonichu]]. Chris later stated in [[ECV 00095]] that the butt garments were sent to him by a [[troll]]. According to [[Ivy]]'s ghost, Barbara mistook them for samples of adult diapers sent by Chris's doctor, who had been trying to convince Chris to start wearing them.

After Ivy found out that Chris was cheating on him with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], one of her friends suggested that he take the photos below to apologize to Ivy. The front reads "TOO HOT FOR COLLECTION," in case you don't want to stare at it for too long. This appears to have been the last time they were ever mentioned. Presumably, they are (or, possibly, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|were]]) still sitting around Barbara's bedroom.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg
Image:HelloSpas.jpg
Image:Ecp00065.jpg
Image:Ecp00066.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
*[[Chris and health]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]