CWCki - User contributions [en]

Angelica

2016-04-22T13:27:34Z

Supersheep: /* Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated) */

{{quote|Angelica is a religious type; she feels peace and tranquility often from the presence of [[God and Jesus]] and her healthy life in general.|Chris, describing the [[Reginald Sneasel|Sneasel]]-fucking whore in [[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Mailbag 7]].}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Angelica.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Angelica Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology|2 February 1989]] (in universe)
No later than 17 August 2004 (IRL)<ref>Chris created a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Card]] of Angelica on 17 August 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Angelica was not created at any point later than this date.</ref>
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Length'''
| 3'10 (91 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 90 lbs (41 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Nuns
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Flying
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosee]] (when happy with Soothe Bell<ref>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Out-of-battle_effect_item]</ref>)
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Angelica.jpg|thumb|Angelica in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]

'''Angelica''' is a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the [[Rainbow|Chaotic Rainbow]]. She is a Flying/Electric type. Despite the fact that she was hatched in [[2004]], [[Chris]] insists that she is over 18 so that he is not considered a [[pedofork]] for his pictures of Angelica [[mass debating]].

Angelica was brought up in a strict Catholic convent, with nuns being the only family she ever knew. Her painfully bleak upbringing clashes with her apparently insatiable sexual appetites. The fierce repression of her youth, in the cold surroundings of the brutal convent, led to her later rebellion which tragically took the form of her indoctrination into the [[Chaotic Combo]]. She went from diligently worshiping [[Jesus]] to being nothing but a masturbatory aid for her [[Chris|demented creator]], another lobotomized beast rattling around in the bird-cage of Chris's mind.

Like other Rosechus, she has [[Chris and writing|no discernible personality whatsoever]], aside from a verbal tic ("Lord") that Chris claims is indicative of a pious Catholic personality. Chris calls Angelica a "peacemaker", which is curious because the folks of [[CWCville]] normally don't end up in any kind of quarrels; when they ''do'', Angelica is seemingly powerless to prevent it or offer any other form of assistance.

Angelica is the only prominent Electric Hedgehog Pokémon never to have had a tail ([[Punchy|Punchy's]] was torn off). The reason for this is yet to be revealed.

She is a combination of three characters:
*[[Raichu]]
*[[Amy Rose]]
*[[Wikipedia:Angel|Angels]]

==Major Comic Appearances==
===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===
Angelica's egg came into the possession of a group of nuns, who nurtured the egg until its hatching, revealing a small, white, winged [[Rosey]]. After learning how to fly under the watch of nuns, she evolved one night in her sleep — on said night also being secretly visited by Chris-chan, who gave her shoes and a scrunchie.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

Angelica meets the [[Chaotic Combo]] moments after planting a flower garden and viewing it from above, when all of a sudden, [[Blake]] and [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] come crashing through, shortly followed by the rest of the Chaotic Combo. After a short discussion, Angelica, along with her newfound team, proceed to beat the hell out of Blake([[Chris and religion|like a good Christian would]]) and celebrate accordingly. It is established that Angelica's main mode of attack and defense is through using her wings rather than any electric powers.

===[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]===

Like the rest of the combo Angelica is summoned into battle by [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] but just like everyone not named Chris, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], or [[Sailor Megtune|Megtune]], she doesn't actually do or say anything the entire issue.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

In this issue, Angelica pretends to be concerned about [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's imaginary twin sister]] getting trapped in the mirror one minute, and the next minute she talks about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s great basketball skills. She and [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] think to themselves “What a dreamboat”, smoldering with barely contained lust.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_Prologue|Episode 18 Prologue]]===

Here we see the [[Chaotic Combo]] celebrating their 19th birthdays on 2 February 2008.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring break]]===

While sunbathing with [[Rosechu]], Angelica makes the mistake of asking Bubbles why she doesn't need sunscreen, and is subjected to a long boring lecture. After Blake shows up and kicks sand at them before being led away by Bubbles, Angelica and Rosechu giggle about Blake's faux-macho attitude. Later, after Bubbles retrieves a [[Sonichu Ball]] from the ocean, she hands it to Angelica, who flies it back to [[Patti-Chan]] who is at the Cwcville Mayoral Office.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]===

While absent for most of the episode, Angelica shows up on the last few pages to randomly hook up with [[Reginald Sneasel]] for no reason whatsoever. Apparently she's only attracted to pathetic losers and is a liar or an extremely poor judge of character, calling an obsessive liar who partakes in acts of vandalism "honest" and "sweet".

===[[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC Defense]]===

Angelica is shown waking up in bed with Reginald at her church home, removing all doubt that she's a dirty whore. She's later seen taking down several flying enemies. She precisely forms a [[Wikipedia:Pentagram|pentagram]] around her church, putting further question in her faith.

===[[Sonichu 10#Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities|Christian Chandler in Director Amenities]]===

Angelica reads the [[Asperpedia Four]] their "last rights", and is one of the people pushing the buttons on [[Alec]]'s ten-button electric chair. She thinks "may God have mercy".

== [[Love Quest]] ==

Angelica went through the first eight ''Sonichu'' comics not showing any interest in any of the male characters, before finally shacking with [[Reginald Sneasel]] in [[Episode 19]] after he called her cute. Given that Reginald is basically a Chris stand-in, it's generally assumed by [[trolls]] that Chris would like his relationship to start in a similar manner: a girl throwing herself at him not in spite of the fact that he's pathetic, but because of it.
==[[Rule 34]]==
Chris drew Rule 34 of Angelica, which he uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], hoping that it would encourage [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] ''et al.'' to remove his article. Predictably, his plan backfired, resulting in an increased interest in him and his work.

The picture in question was originally included with the caption "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of [[God]]?!!", suggesting that Angelica has a penchant for masturbating in church.<ref>[[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG]]</ref>

Angelica's struggle with sexual sin might be an insight into Chris's own struggle between his Christianity and his sexual desires. While Chris claims to be a Christian, he acts similarly to Angelica, maintaining a veneer of piousness yet living in a prison of [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], masturbation, pornography, and [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|complete submission to his sexuality]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:270-YuAngelica.jpg|Chris's attempt to show his congregation that these Satanic card games that tempt children these days can have good Christian characters too.
Image:271-Angelica.jpg|The power of prayer... it does nothing to relieve the crapfest.
Image:AngelicaSpreadsEm.jpg|While the nuns are kneeling demurely in devotion, Angelica splays her [[china]] wide open for [[GodJesus]].
File:Lego Angelica.jpg|[[LEGO]] Angelica.
File:Angelica 1.JPG|"Angelic Angelica," original work of art offered for sale on [[eBay]].
File:NewAngelicaA.jpg|Angelica [[Amiibo]].
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>
{{CWCipedia|chris=Angelica Rosechu}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]][[Category:Rosechus]]

100 2357.MOV

2011-08-07T08:33:07Z

Supersheep:

'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly.

Chris's speech implied that he would spend time outside of his [[14 Branchland Court|humble abode]] and attempt to socialize with others. Unsurprisingly, he has instead spent the majority of his time playing [[PS3]] and making [[Little Big Planet]] mods. Chris would return to the Internet in full, complete with videos, roughly 8 months later.

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = [[Calling Out|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
}}

===Transcript===

Attention! [[George W. Bush|Read my lips!]]

Online socialization... is a [[Muscle_bra|bust]]. [[Chris_and_English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: [[Calling Out|NO MORE VIDEOS!]]

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]!

[''[[Pedo-glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|whips off his glasses and shakes out his hair]]'']

[[Gay|I'm out.]] ''[turns off the camera]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100_2278]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-22]]

Lovely Weather

2011-06-17T05:13:16Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|left|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips and how she's as tall as Chris...]]
[[Image:LovelyWeatherIdentity.jpg|thumb|OMFG, Lovely Weather is CHRIS CROCKER]]

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html Sleigh Ride Lyrics]</ref>}}

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], ''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the Nerds|Revenge of the Nerds]]''-style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! Now it is. (Note that this use of repetition is Chris's retardation at work and should not be confused for a [[wikipedia:Turnaround (music)|legitimate musical element]].) For the GodJesusless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "[[Wikipedia:Sleigh Ride|Sleigh Ride]]," a 1948 Christmas song.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Tomgirl Pictures|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather is a relatively new character in the [[Sonichu]] comic with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], we can expect more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future.

She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.

Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?|MTF transsexuals]] and [[Silvana|intersexed individuals identifying as women]].) As such, she could very well be a transwoman. However, a far more likely explanation is that she looks like a dude because [[Chris and art|Chris simply can't draw.]]

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married, or even [[Hanky panky|laid]], by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor and a [[virgin with rage]].

In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris insists that Lovely is not a representation of [[The Wallflower]] in any way. Given his [[Lies|past record of honesty]] and his general inability to come up with any original characters, the claim is doubtful at best.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with his [[Barbara|mother]]]]

Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.

For instance, the comic-book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time-travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright [[rape]], then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

Listen closely, and you can hear [[Wikipedia:H. G. Wells|H. G. Wells]] and [[Wikipedia:William Hartnell|William Hartnell]] spinning in their graves.
{{clear}}

==Rape?==

Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. A possibility is that Future!Chris told Lovely Weather about this in advance and "conveniently" came home late that night. This has entirely different creepy undertones.

See: [[Chris_and_rape#Lovely_Rape.3F|Chris and Rape]].

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and semi-raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with [[Wikipedia:Meg Griffin|Meg Griffin]] of ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame. Chris asks her if [[Seth MacFarlane]] has [[Women's rights|permitted]] her to turn 18 yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.
{{Clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weather, Lovely}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

Talk:Main Page

2011-04-20T03:38:53Z

Supersheep:

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==ohinternet==
Should we include a da update about ED and ohinternet considering their past relationship? [[Supersheep|Supersheep]] 23:38, 19 April 2011 (EST)

==Happy Sonichu Day!==

Is Sonichu 11 or 23? Also, is it possible to make the Sonichu page the now article? --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 21:33, 16 March 2011 (PDT)

==PSN Tracker==
I have Chris on my friends list on the PSTriple.
How would I go about contributing to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 06:30, 28 January 2011 (PST)

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::Obviously you know something we don't. Go on, enlighten us. [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 21:08, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::First, as Champ said pretty much RIGHT below this, this page is about improving the main page exclusively. Take it to Offshore CWCki. I think your targets are probably mostly there. As far as I'm aware, the people remaining here are dedicated to the wiki, rather than devoted to coming up with new ways to stalk Chris.
::::::It's not even about concerning ourselves with how next to foil Chris' Heart-Meter. This is about the chronicling
::::::and archiving of this entire man-child's existence for the benefit and hilarity of all future new-fags
::::::--[[User:Boosegumps|Boosegumps]] 03:40, 19 January 2011 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Is This Chris? ==

He apparently stalked the shit out of liquid Chris therefore leading him to know his whereabouts along with his real name. So, he decided to post a video about it for some "troll busting".

Here's his channel:
[http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlosChantor]

- 06:33 (CST) January 6,2011

I doubt it. I mean, do you see him putting together such a coherent video and hacking someone's facebook. The only Chris-like thing about it is that they got the wrong one of the twins pegged as Liquid.....

ARIGOLD17 WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIGN POSTS- 3:30 (EST) January 14, 2011

== ps3 tracker change ==

the ps3 tracker says jan.7.2010 when it should be jan.7.2011. just pointing that out. [[User:Carnival Vexillarius|Carnival Vexillarius]] 10:06, 8 January 2011 (PST)

== Shojo letters ==

[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]
[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg|Right]]
*Front page, y/n? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:18, 26 January 2011 (PST)CFA
<s>If it's legit I'd say front page material, I know Chris watches anime, but somehow I can't see him reading manga. I think he'd be too frustrated to figure out that you read it back to front. I think this might be a troll impersonating him</s> Never mind it says 23, so no one really knew about him, so it's probably legit.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 06:06, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Potential Video of the Now? ==

Some pickle-related drama, brought to you by ''The Kids in the Hall''.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECAvZTcaQew

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 12:31 2 February 2011

*For future reference, this should go [[Template talk:Video of the now|here]]. The thing about the video is that Chris hasn't used the "pickle" euphemism, as far as I can tell, since 2008 or maybe early 2009. It's just a really out-of-date term. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:12, 2 February 2011 (PST)

== Not sure if it goes here but ==

*First, no pics (due to working at the time) but Chris came in with Rocky. But here is the thing, he was with a group of special needs folks around his age, seems Rocky has gotten him to socialize with other special needs folks, that or the strange girl he sat across from was friendly with him. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:30, 25 February 2011 (PST)CFA
:Get pics next time. No, really. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:32, 25 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh and also, this is the wrong place to do this. This is about improving the main page. Put it [[CWCki:General|here]] or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:38, 25 February 2011 (PST)
*Thanks and as for pics, it was out of the blue, did not expect to see him that day (he normally comes in on saturday between 3 and 4.)[[User:CFA|CFA]] 18:28, 27 February 2011 (PST)CFA

==Userboxes==
*Would anybody have a problem with organizing the userboxes, like Trollboxes category would contain Clyde's, Vivian's, Jack's ect. Description/identitiy boxes, like all the ones that say this user is a x, like the American, straight, hikikomori. Then like title boxes like admin, grammar nazi, ect. I could organize them, but it'd take me a while cause I'm busy during the week.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 13:11, 2 March 2011 (PST)

== da update should be first ==

ps3 tracker later, or maybe just merged. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:39, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:I spent a while messing around with it today trying to find a better way to organize it, but I couldn't figure out how to change whether something's on the right or left side of the page. I guess switching the two wouldn't be too difficult because they're in the same box. No complaints here. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:41, 2 March 2011 (PST)

Just rid of the ps3 tracker, it's not even no longer updated. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:41, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
:I found out how to do everything that I didn't understand, but [[User:Freecell/Main Page|what I did with it]] still looks bad. I agree that Da Update should go first (and the quote of the now shouldn't take up so much space and the News/Improvement Project should go higher), but I'm not sure it can be moved without making everything else look bad. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:48, 7 April 2011 (PDT)

==Seriously==
*What the fuck happened yesterday? What was with the creepy girl? Why was everything 404'd, though some of the 404 pages were funny.
: Seems like the server was just down. I'm not an admin so I don't really know. But the creepy girl has always been what you see when you specifically go to cogsdev.org or sonichu.com[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 05:51, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
*I was just trying to check this site yesterday and I saw that ''thing'' instead. I can upload a pic of it, but... Was it supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood or some shit? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 09:26, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:: I JUST tried and the weird Little Girls was there and then I re-loaded the page and it was fine... dunno. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 15:43, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
::: [http://www.sonichu.com/buletta.jpg picture] Based on the filename it's supposed to be [http://capcom.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Bonnie_Hood Buletta/B.B.Hood] from Darkstalkers. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 16:27, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:::: Y<s>eah any time I've tried to follow my bookmark link that is set up to cogsdev.org, which has ''always'' worked, mind you, it now takes me to the BB Hood image after trying to redirect to sonichu.com. In order to actually get to the site I have to google CWCKI and find a random page and then backtrack to the main page. Am I doing something horribly wrong somehow?</s> As of my having written this, it'a back to normal now. Weird. Disregard me I am a buffoon.--[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:14, 18 March 2011 (PDT)

==Ha!==
Nice touch for April Fool's [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 07:50, 1 April 2011 (PDT)

[[Random-access humor|IT'S RAINING CHRIS! HALLELUJAH!]] Also, if I may ask, what's the code for this? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 10:29, 1 April 2011 (PDT)
*note to self, listening to shpongle and watching the spinning heads here is seriously a bad idea! [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:43, 1 April 2011 (PDT)CFA
*When are we gonna get these removed now? They were charming on April 1st but it's two days later now and they're getting kinda intrusive. [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 15:35 EST
** I use [https://chrome.google.com/extensions/detail/cfhdojbkjhnklbpkdaibdccddilifddb?hl=en adblock plus]. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:39, 3 April 2011 (PDT)
*** [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/adblock-plus/ And for Firefox...] --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 12:57, 5 April 2011 (PDT)

== You are now aware ==

[[image:Youarenowaware.jpg|800px]]

:It could almost imply that they somehow know one another! I'm more interested in the book to the left of it. Also, sign your posts. Also, this page is about improving the main page, as you've been told before. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:54, 7 April 2011 (PDT)

Well, I thought it was pretty surprising. All this time, that creepy little face was staring at me and I didn't even know it. The medallion and stare really make it a winner. Maybe bring it up in the Barbara page discussion. [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 12:26, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
*Sorry,did that at like, 2 am. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:38, 7 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

Talk:Main Page

2011-04-20T03:36:23Z

Supersheep:

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]] [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|2]]

==ohinternet==
Should we include a da update about ED and ohinternet considering their past relationship?

==Happy Sonichu Day!==

Is Sonichu 11 or 23? Also, is it possible to make the Sonichu page the now article? --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 21:33, 16 March 2011 (PDT)

==PSN Tracker==
I have Chris on my friends list on the PSTriple.
How would I go about contributing to the PSN tracker? [[User:Dillon627|Dillon627]] 06:30, 28 January 2011 (PST)

==Protect the templates==
Seeing how the main page itself is protected, why not protect the templates as well? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:49, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*There's already cascading protection for all the front page templates. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:51, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*Stop freaking out about this spammer shit, Champ has it under control --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== new vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzAJvMKQeJA&feature=player_embedded

can't add news so there you go--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:38, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Can this be the new Quote of the Now, please?==

{{quote|I've learned... from my father; he taught and showed me which male ends go into which female ends.|Wallflower E-mails.}}

[[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 13:28, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
I'm for this too.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 02:10, 21 October 2010 (EST)

==I suggest this for the Video of the Now==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmFHPbaNT04 [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 07:37, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Since there's a white space in the Video of the Now (at least on my computer) why not feature this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoqjN3amRD4
--[[User:Vofdoom38|VofDoom38]] 17:44, 21 October 2010 (PDT)

== Project Map Fucking Everything ==

Started up this project and got a lot of things mapped down.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ptab=2&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=116038930500742252038.0004949e055d81dc61c0b

I'd like to get all of the places he mentions/visits/films/rapes marked down on the map, but there's a lot of videos and some of them I never wish to see again. So, it's open collaboration and anyone with a Google account can edit it. Feel free to login and mark down different areas he's visited. Just try to be logical and succinct when adding locations. Don't need every McDonald's marked down. When doing videos of him travelling, try to figure out the path with a line and mark at least one end of it.

Now, a question:
Should we make a page for the full map or just link it in the bottom of the "Locations" divs on the other pages?
-- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 13:49, 9 November 2010 (PST)

*Put it on the locations template. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 13:53, 9 November 2010 (PST)
**Done. Couldn't think of a better name than Chris's World. -- [[User:Arius|Arius]] 14:11, 9 November 2010 (PST)

== Sports ==

Is there any inclination that Chris is into any kind of sport or professional sports team? I asked this on the main page because I don't know where else to ask it.
*Sign your fucking posts god damn. Also, no. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 04:18, 14 November 2010 (PST)

== Slight Error ==
Chris hasn't gone 5 days without the internet, he logged into youtube 2 1/2 days after he posted the leaving video.
[[User:Theiselybors|Theiselybros]] 19:46, 26 November 2010 (EST)
:Probably should have discussed this before just removing the counter... [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 17:02, 26 November 2010 (PST)
::It's a non-pedantic count. We're really focusing on how many days he's gone without making a video - which Chris equates to "being on the Internet". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:30, 26 November 2010 (PST)
:::Yeah, why is the counter back? I don't know how to re-implement that sort of thing or I would. --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 16:18, 17 December 2010 (PST)

== Vandalism? ==
Some guy named [[User:Trueandhonest]] has been going around vandalizing pages lately, claiming to be Chris-chan himself. Most likely it's a troll, but I just wanted to point that out. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 15:33, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== Does Christian Who Cares know this?==
I don't remember his surname. Does he know that the creator of Pokémon has [[aspergers]]? At least Wikipedia's article says so... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Tajiri --[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 16:21, 4 December 2010 (PST)
* It seems that you just answered your own question. As to whether or not Chris knows, I honestly don't think he even cares. He justifies things when it allows him to continue his current lifestyle. He'd probably just say "Well I guess there are some exceptions" and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:39, 4 December 2010 (PST)
** You're right, I should have figured that out. Theres an article about his hypocresy, but its not really necesary to read it; it takes about three seconds of reading this wiki to realize that he's the biggest of hypocrites...--[[User:Doctor Whatever|Doctor Whatever]] 17:46, 4 December 2010 (PST)

==CWCki is pretty dead==
Chris isn't coming back, at least not for a long time. Despite this, there are a shitton of new editors who drop by every other day and fuck up articles. The only reason I'm really still here is to fix up the edits of these new editors. I think we should start finding the good articles on the wiki and either lock them or put a template saying not to fuck with it a la ED. As articles get fixed up, they get locked down, at least until Chris comes back (if he ever does, anyway). I get that it might take some time or whatever, but it would help preserve the CWCki should Chris never come back or I die or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:11, 11 December 2010 (PST)
*Well it was just a matter of time until he would end up in a mental hospital. I always told him so, but whatever. I agree though, that there are probably many articles, that can be protected, especially all the videos, mails, phone calls, chatlogs and whatnot.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 19:09, 12 December 2010 (PST)
::I'd push for the templating approach rather than protecting. Article protection should be used sparingly. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:00, 14 December 2010 (PST)
:::After seeing old articles being still corrected here and there, I tend to agree. Maybe this Chris-free time isn't so bad after all. Gives us time to look through all the old articles.--[[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:51, 14 December 2010 (PST)
::::You guys have gone from reporting the antics of a potential criminal to stalking a retard. Really it's pathetic. Do we need to know about uneventful sightings at the mall or his activity on PSN? That sounds like having less of a life than Chris does. Every lolcow eventually dies down and CWC is finished. This isn't like that point when everyone thought he was done for but came back, this is it.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 18:05, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::Obviously you know something we don't. Go on, enlighten us. [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 21:08, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:::::First, as Champ said pretty much RIGHT below this, this page is about improving the main page exclusively. Take it to Offshore CWCki. I think your targets are probably mostly there. As far as I'm aware, the people remaining here are dedicated to the wiki, rather than devoted to coming up with new ways to stalk Chris.
::::::It's not even about concerning ourselves with how next to foil Chris' Heart-Meter. This is about the chronicling
::::::and archiving of this entire man-child's existence for the benefit and hilarity of all future new-fags
::::::--[[User:Boosegumps|Boosegumps]] 03:40, 19 January 2011 (PST)

== Sightings ==

Okay, question, as a field agent who is seeming to have multiple run ins with Chris (was the guy who took the kroger pic and I commonly see him when he comes into my work) Where should I put my sightings so I am not cluttering up the other pages? [[User:CFA|CFA]]CFA
:1. Sign posts with 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) if you want to avoid typing all that shit every time.
:2. [[User:CFA/Whateverthefuck]] is usually the best place to put your stuff.
:On another note, I appreciate that CFA is the name of the guy who took that pic, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it's you. Expect people to be critical of that statement. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 01:20, 16 December 2010 (PST)

*I did sign with 4 and I posted it up on the offshore first. Secondly, I asked because there is no article on sightings. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 10:38, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Signing with 4 tildes yields a timestamp. Always. There was no timestamp. The point I was making was that yeah, the guy on offshore is called CFA. However, you just made your account here and there's nothing stopping someone other than offshore's CFA from taking the username. As a result of this, even if there were a "sightings" article, you still wouldn't be able to just dump new shit there because there's no confirmation that you are who you say you are. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:10, 16 December 2010 (PST)
*alright, then what would constituent proof for you guys? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:03, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::I'd say photos ^^ [[User:Sonichu|Sonichu]] 16:01, 16 December 2010 (PST)
:*photos of what? My page on offshore or something else? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 17:56, 16 December 2010 (PST)CFA
::Gee, I don't know, maybe ''the picture you originally uploaded to Offshore CWCki''? --[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:39, 16 December 2010 (PST)
::I think the best picture to upload would be proof that you can log into CFA's account on Offshore. If you have any new pics, those work too, but I don't expect you to have to do too much work for this. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:07, 17 December 2010 (PST)
*[[Image:CFA offshore.png|300px]] [[User:CFA|CFA]] 12:41, 17 December 2010 (PST)CFA

:*In the future, posts like this go in the Community Portal and not here. This discussion page strictly involves improving the main page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:33, 19 December 2010 (PST)
*My apologies [[User:CFA|CFA]] 20:54, 19 December 2010 (PST)CFA

== Is This Chris? ==

He apparently stalked the shit out of liquid Chris therefore leading him to know his whereabouts along with his real name. So, he decided to post a video about it for some "troll busting".

Here's his channel:
[http://www.youtube.com/user/CarlosChantor]

- 06:33 (CST) January 6,2011

I doubt it. I mean, do you see him putting together such a coherent video and hacking someone's facebook. The only Chris-like thing about it is that they got the wrong one of the twins pegged as Liquid.....

ARIGOLD17 WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIGN POSTS- 3:30 (EST) January 14, 2011

== ps3 tracker change ==

the ps3 tracker says jan.7.2010 when it should be jan.7.2011. just pointing that out. [[User:Carnival Vexillarius|Carnival Vexillarius]] 10:06, 8 January 2011 (PST)

== Shojo letters ==

[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]
[[File:Shoujobeatchrischanletterreply.jpg|Right]]
*Front page, y/n? [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:18, 26 January 2011 (PST)CFA
<s>If it's legit I'd say front page material, I know Chris watches anime, but somehow I can't see him reading manga. I think he'd be too frustrated to figure out that you read it back to front. I think this might be a troll impersonating him</s> Never mind it says 23, so no one really knew about him, so it's probably legit.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 06:06, 1 March 2011 (PST)

== Potential Video of the Now? ==

Some pickle-related drama, brought to you by ''The Kids in the Hall''.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECAvZTcaQew

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 12:31 2 February 2011

*For future reference, this should go [[Template talk:Video of the now|here]]. The thing about the video is that Chris hasn't used the "pickle" euphemism, as far as I can tell, since 2008 or maybe early 2009. It's just a really out-of-date term. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:12, 2 February 2011 (PST)

== Not sure if it goes here but ==

*First, no pics (due to working at the time) but Chris came in with Rocky. But here is the thing, he was with a group of special needs folks around his age, seems Rocky has gotten him to socialize with other special needs folks, that or the strange girl he sat across from was friendly with him. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:30, 25 February 2011 (PST)CFA
:Get pics next time. No, really. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:32, 25 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh and also, this is the wrong place to do this. This is about improving the main page. Put it [[CWCki:General|here]] or something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:38, 25 February 2011 (PST)
*Thanks and as for pics, it was out of the blue, did not expect to see him that day (he normally comes in on saturday between 3 and 4.)[[User:CFA|CFA]] 18:28, 27 February 2011 (PST)CFA

==Userboxes==
*Would anybody have a problem with organizing the userboxes, like Trollboxes category would contain Clyde's, Vivian's, Jack's ect. Description/identitiy boxes, like all the ones that say this user is a x, like the American, straight, hikikomori. Then like title boxes like admin, grammar nazi, ect. I could organize them, but it'd take me a while cause I'm busy during the week.[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 13:11, 2 March 2011 (PST)

== da update should be first ==

ps3 tracker later, or maybe just merged. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:39, 2 March 2011 (PST)
:I spent a while messing around with it today trying to find a better way to organize it, but I couldn't figure out how to change whether something's on the right or left side of the page. I guess switching the two wouldn't be too difficult because they're in the same box. No complaints here. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:41, 2 March 2011 (PST)

Just rid of the ps3 tracker, it's not even no longer updated. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:41, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
:I found out how to do everything that I didn't understand, but [[User:Freecell/Main Page|what I did with it]] still looks bad. I agree that Da Update should go first (and the quote of the now shouldn't take up so much space and the News/Improvement Project should go higher), but I'm not sure it can be moved without making everything else look bad. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:48, 7 April 2011 (PDT)

==Seriously==
*What the fuck happened yesterday? What was with the creepy girl? Why was everything 404'd, though some of the 404 pages were funny.
: Seems like the server was just down. I'm not an admin so I don't really know. But the creepy girl has always been what you see when you specifically go to cogsdev.org or sonichu.com[[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 05:51, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
*I was just trying to check this site yesterday and I saw that ''thing'' instead. I can upload a pic of it, but... Was it supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood or some shit? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 09:26, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:: I JUST tried and the weird Little Girls was there and then I re-loaded the page and it was fine... dunno. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 15:43, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
::: [http://www.sonichu.com/buletta.jpg picture] Based on the filename it's supposed to be [http://capcom.wikia.com/wiki/Baby_Bonnie_Hood Buletta/B.B.Hood] from Darkstalkers. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 16:27, 17 March 2011 (PDT)
:::: Y<s>eah any time I've tried to follow my bookmark link that is set up to cogsdev.org, which has ''always'' worked, mind you, it now takes me to the BB Hood image after trying to redirect to sonichu.com. In order to actually get to the site I have to google CWCKI and find a random page and then backtrack to the main page. Am I doing something horribly wrong somehow?</s> As of my having written this, it'a back to normal now. Weird. Disregard me I am a buffoon.--[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:14, 18 March 2011 (PDT)

==Ha!==
Nice touch for April Fool's [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 07:50, 1 April 2011 (PDT)

[[Random-access humor|IT'S RAINING CHRIS! HALLELUJAH!]] Also, if I may ask, what's the code for this? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] 10:29, 1 April 2011 (PDT)
*note to self, listening to shpongle and watching the spinning heads here is seriously a bad idea! [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:43, 1 April 2011 (PDT)CFA
*When are we gonna get these removed now? They were charming on April 1st but it's two days later now and they're getting kinda intrusive. [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 15:35 EST
** I use [https://chrome.google.com/extensions/detail/cfhdojbkjhnklbpkdaibdccddilifddb?hl=en adblock plus]. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:39, 3 April 2011 (PDT)
*** [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/adblock-plus/ And for Firefox...] --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 12:57, 5 April 2011 (PDT)

== You are now aware ==

[[image:Youarenowaware.jpg|800px]]

:It could almost imply that they somehow know one another! I'm more interested in the book to the left of it. Also, sign your posts. Also, this page is about improving the main page, as you've been told before. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 04:54, 7 April 2011 (PDT)

Well, I thought it was pretty surprising. All this time, that creepy little face was staring at me and I didn't even know it. The medallion and stare really make it a winner. Maybe bring it up in the Barbara page discussion. [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 12:26, 7 April 2011 (PDT)
*Sorry,did that at like, 2 am. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 15:38, 7 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

Darkbind Sonichu

2011-03-27T04:15:42Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|LET'S. GET. DANGEROUS.]]
'''Darkbind''' (born 16 May 1985<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms CWCipedia article on Sonichu] (Yes, ''Sonichu'', as not even Chris could be bothered to create an entire article for such a useless character.)</ref>) is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. Darkbind is yet another purple recolor ([[Magi-Chan|as if we hadn't had one purple recolor as it is]]) who's [[homo|gay]]. The gayness of this recolor is even more justified by his faggy cape and especially his Sword of Fail.

His humble origins are of complete mystery. He was probably created by the same [[rainbow]] that all of Chris's stupid recolors spewed out of. However, that raises the question of why [[Zelina Rosechu|his girlfriend]] is a princess. Who the hell would find a random furfag that got shat out of a rainbow and proclaim it princess of anything?

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], it is revealed that Zelina and Darkbind are both part of the British Monarchy. The most inbred branch, obviously.

According to the [[Sonichu chronology|Sonichu Chronology]], Zelina was put under the spell at age twelve and Darkbind at age thirteen. Considering that Darkbind was planning on proposing to her that night, either this was a childish declaration of love, or RuleCWC retains antiquated ideas on marriage.

When Darkbind isn't wasting time helping his [[Christian Weston Chandler|creator]] fend off [[manajerk|mall security]], he's on a quest to find the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] so he can awaken his girlfriend. More so than most of the characters in the comic, he is apt to blurt out statements about balls. Given the sheer [[Homo|faggotry]] of his character design, is it really that surprising?
{{clear}}
==Things Darkbind rips off==
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|right|Darkbind cannot be deprived of his balls.]]
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]
* [[Pokémon|Pikachu]]
* [[Magi-Chan]] (See second sentence in the first paragraph of this article.)
* [[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck|Darkwing Duck]] (The typeface for "Darkbind" is taken from the ''Darkwing Duck'' logo). His name is also two letters off from being Darkwing)
* [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] from [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda|''The Legend of Zelda'' series]] (The sword as well as "Bind" possibly being used as another word for "Link". Darkbind even refers to himself as "the Link that will save Princess Zelina Rosechu").

However, it can be argued that Darkbind Sonichu is simply a complete ripoff of the purple-haired, sword-wielding '''[[Wikipedia:Trunks (Dragon Ball)#Future Trunks|Future Trunks]]''' from [[Dragon Ball Z]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See Also==
* [[Clawdorf]] - Darkbind's arch nemesis (though he's only actually ever appeared as a silhouette in a flashback).
* [[Zelina Rosechu]]
* [[Sonichu Balls]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

Darkbind Sonichu

2011-03-25T02:11:48Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|LET'S. GET. DANGEROUS.]]
'''Darkbind''' (born 16 May 1985<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms CWCipedia article on Sonichu] (Yes, ''Sonichu'', as not even Chris could be bothered to create an entire article for such a useless character.)</ref>) is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. Darkbind is yet another purple recolor ([[Magi-Chan|as if we hadn't had one purple recolor as it is]]) who's [[homo|gay]]. The gayness of this recolor is even more justified by his faggy cape and especially his Sword of Fail.

His humble origins are of complete mystery. He was probably created by the same [[rainbow]] that all of Chris's stupid recolors spewed out of. However, that raises the question of why [[Zelina Rosechu|his girlfriend]] is a princess. Who the hell would find a random furfag that got shat out of a rainbow and proclaim it princess of anything?

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], it is revealed that Zelina and Darkbind are both part of the British Monarchy. The most inbred branch, obviously.

According to the [[Sonichu_chronology| Sonich Chronology]], Zelina was put under the spell at age twelve and Darkbind at age thirteen. Considering that Darkbind was planning on proposing to her that night, either this was a childish declaration of love, or RuleCWC retains medieval era ideas on marriage.

When Darkbind isn't wasting time helping his [[Christian Weston Chandler|creator]] fend off [[manajerk|mall security]], he's on a quest to find the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] so he can awaken his girlfriend. More so than most of the characters in the comic, he is apt to blurt out statements about balls. Given the sheer [[Homo|faggotry]] of his character design, is it really that surprising?
{{clear}}
==Things Darkbind rips off==
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|right|Darkbind cannot be deprived of his balls.]]
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]
* [[Pokémon|Pikachu]]
* [[Magi-Chan]] (See second sentence in the first paragraph of this article.)
* [[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck|Darkwing Duck]] (The typeface for "Darkbind" is taken from the ''Darkwing Duck'' logo). His name is also two letters off from being Darkwing)
* [[Wikipedia:Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link]] from [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda|''The Legend of Zelda'' series]] (The sword as well as "Bind" possibly being used as another word for "Link". Darkbind even refers to himself as "the Link that will save Princess Zelina Rosechu").

However, it can be argued that Darkbind Sonichu is simply a complete ripoff of the purple-haired, sword-wielding '''[[Wikipedia:Trunks (Dragon Ball)#Future Trunks|Future Trunks]]''' from [[Dragon Ball Z]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See Also==
* [[Clawdorf]] - Darkbind's arch nemesis (though he's only actually ever appeared as a silhouette in a flashback).
* [[Zelina Rosechu]]
* [[Sonichu Balls]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

Chris and religion

2010-12-04T06:21:57Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, hatred, intolerance, [[Nudes|pornography]] and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with; most Catholic churches are called after a saint, or a divine epithet such as "Sacred Heart", "Holy Name", "Blessed Virgin", etc.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [[Wikipedia:Unitarian|Unitarian]] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle paul rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of St. Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much.<br/>

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household chores is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate.<br> 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities.<br> 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again.<br> 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust.<br> 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue 7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith.
===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].
===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Atheism===
[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

This might have been Chris trying to be funny, as the second sentence doesn't make any sense.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Naïve

2010-11-18T13:54:14Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris on the dreaded word<ref>From a YouTube comment to [[Liquid Chris]] on the [[REAL_Protest_against_the_FAKE#Youtube_comments_from_Chris|REAL Protest against the FAKE]] video.</ref>}}

{{quote|You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.|
Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, giving his opinion on the matter}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults; despite this, it is apparently his least favorite word.<ref>From [[Mailbag_21#Chris%27s_favorite_curse_word_is_an_%22F%22_followed_by_3_asterisks|Mailbag 21]].</ref>. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. By the time of the [[Jackie e-mails]], he had apparently corrected his definition outwardly, but unless he really cares about his [[Virgin with rage|non-existent experience]], he probably still believes it simply means "stupid".<ref>"Naive; it questions my mentality and experience."</ref> In the [[Wallflower E-mails]], he finally uses the correct definition, confirming that "naive" is really just an unacceptable jab at his [[ego|unwarranted self-importance]].<ref>ibid. "My least favorite word of ALL time is "naive", [[random-access humor|NOT because of how it is spelt]], but it questions and belittles ones intelligence and experience. I am well-experienced and knowledgeable in a lot of things." Note that the Wallflower did not ask him for this answer.</ref> He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults.

Chris has called others ([[Liquid_Chris|largely]] [[Alec_Benson_Leary|trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. During the Liquid Saga, he remarked that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "[[CCWC%27s_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|about as bad as the word naïve to me now]]". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

Ironically, back in the comics, he's accurately used it to describe himself in a non-condescending way, being "naive about dating during young adult years", suggesting that he once understood its definition properly. He seems to get seriously offended when other people call him that, but has used it several times to describe himself in the past tense.

=== Ways in which Chris is naïve ===

* He believes that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|popular internet topic with millions of fans]]. Despite all of the evidence proving that Sonichu has no real fans (only 5,000 or so trolls), he continues to believe in this delusion on the grounds that he is an "[[Mailbag_53|optimist]]."
* He believes that swallowing his own [[Navy|semen]] will keep his sperm count high.
* He believes that everyone [[Recycling|shares]] [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that [[Asperger_syndrome|Asperger's]] must be completely different from [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] due to their different names, despite [[Mailbag_4#Chris_the_close-minded|lacking]] any [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|proof]] to back this belief, or the fact that people who study and research these disorders for a living prove that they are similar.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|malicious perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]], the same beliefs as the [[Wikipedia:Westboro_Baptist_Church|Westboro Baptist Church]].
* He believes that [[Sonichu_(character)|cartoon characters]] are [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|real, living beings]] that exist in an alternate [[CWCville|world]].<ref>From the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second]] of the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]].</ref>
* He believes that [[Chris_and_Copyright#Copyright_registration|registering "digital drawings"]] with the Library of Congress gives him [[Chris_and_his_ego|complete control]] over anything done with [[Sonichu]].<ref>The subject of the video "[[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]."</ref>
* He believes that simply being alive counts as "experience", despite the fact that he never goes out to experience anything.
* He believes that [[Wikipedia:Correlation_implies_causation_(logical_fallacy)|correlation implies causation]]; or, that if he demands something happen (mostly via [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)|YouTube video]] or his [[Death_threats#Cogsdev|now]]-[[Mailbag_18#In_which_Chris_believes_he_has_magic_powers_(srsly)|abandoned]] [[Cwcipedia|website]]), and - by some miracle - it happens, then his demands must have caused the desired effect. These effects include death or extreme misfortune for people, and downtime or content removal for websites.
* He believes that marijuana is simply a more dangerous [[Tobacky|cigarette]].
*He believed that people who had been insulting and playing tricks on him for years would actually fulfill [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|their promise]] to give him $9,001 for [[The MovingForward videos|smashing]] his [[PS3]].

==Sauce==
<references />

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Sandy Rosechu

2010-11-15T13:38:27Z

Supersheep: I know it's fun to bash Chris, but <1 year means she is less than one year old, which she is. 1 year < Sandy would mean she's older than one year. Damn, I know Chris is a dumbass, but we shouldn't be.

[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|thumb|D'aww! She's just so cute before violently ripping [[Evan]] to shreds with her bare hands!]]

{{quote|Yay! This soft sand is fun! [[Pedofork|Thank you, daddy!]]|Sandy, ''[[Sonichu 10]]''}}

'''Sandy Rosechu''' is the bastard daughter of [[Simonla Rosechu]] and [[Wild Sonichu]], with many of the same design elements as the former and NONE of the latter, making her [[Simonla Rosechu#Development|yet another kludge of a certain Chu]]. For whatever reason, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age, but she has no other discernible personality traits from the other [[Rosechu (species)|Mary Sues]] (assuming that they have any).

==Sonichu 10==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

{{quote|"At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..."|Sandy, sadly mistaken for the years of therapy she'll need}}

In [[February 2010]] Chris finally caved to [[Evan#Effort_to_remove_Simonla_from_Sonichu|pressure from Evan]], and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original [[:File:SchuComic11P81.jpg|death page]] to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers care about [[Sonee & Rosey|the little blessing]]. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Ever sensitive and tactful, [[Magi-Chan]] promptly tells her that "[[Lie|Evan killed Mommy]]".

Less than a week after her hatching, Wild tricks Sandy into playing with Soft Sand, which causes her evolution into a [[rosechu (species)|rosechu]]. And by the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla, she has the intelligence of a fourth-grader. Naturally, all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild, responsible father that he is, encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying serial killer tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killer blow together. If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically, by the standards of the [[Chris and Reality|CWCiverse]], Sandy's grandfather.

[[Image:Lisa.jpg|thumb|A super intelligent girl with spiked hair?]]

According to Chris's [[CWCipedia]] ramblings on [[Rosechu (species)#Rosechus and evolution|Rosechu evolution]], a Sandy Rosechu will evolve when it has high happiness and soft sand. Wild gave Sandy soft sand to play with as a Rosey in [[Sonichu 10]], which provides a possible explanation for how she was fully grown within one week. The fact that this means Wild essentially ''forced'' his daughter to grow up in order to fulfill a revenge fantasy is both incredibly disturbing and completely in-line with the rest of the horrifying content present in [[Sonichu 10]].

==Outside the comics==
{{quote|Sandy is pretty awesome, and not Simonla.|Evan's response to Sandy, on his DeviantART account}}

{{quote|She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.| Alec's response to Sandy, [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_9|9th Phonecall with Chris]]}}

Sandy is basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she's little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic THIRST! FOR! BLOOD! Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with [[Zapina]] and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing (which, fortunately, was very little).

Nonetheless, despite the negative reception of Simonla, fans seem to have welcomed Sandy Rosechu into the series. Her popularity resulted in [[:Category:Sandy|fan art]] and even [[Fan:Capering_Berries|her own comic]] within days of her first appearance. This might be because she is one of the only characters with any sort of personality or depth. Of course, since this is something written by Chris, she'll probably devolve into yet another soulless husk who lives only to validate the heterosexuality of some random Sonichu.

==Future==
It remains to be seen if Sandy will be a recurring or regular character, or if she will get sent to the [[Moon]], but if she becomes a recurrent character, Chris will find a way to pair her up with a sonee or a [[pedofork|sonichu]]. With Chris's announcement that he will be redrawing the end of Sonichu 10 ''yet again'', her future remains up in the air.

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Examples of Chris's Ego

2010-11-13T02:40:12Z

Supersheep: Billy Mays did not die (and no, not in retcon form, the confused jumble explained that only Ivy died while Mays simply failed to save her)

Here's an exhaustive list of '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. The list is so long that it warrants its own page!

==In the real world==

===School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local third-rate college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public places===
*[[Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude with the patrons, abused the access to a flat-screen TV and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[Eye of Judgement]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.

===With people===
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''PlayStation Magazine Europe'' is a troll due to the fact that the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and Autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism". He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between Autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and Copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]]. Threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]- While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task at that) was tough work and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis, Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "Simonla". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but a [[Mailbag 43|recent Mailbag]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonchu would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary icons like Mario and Zelda, would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, despite having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|recent call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[twitter]]ed the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers (like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do) or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: One and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[Fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they were going to leave and then he expects them to come to his aid whenever it's necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: The internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower, Chris's latest [[gal-pal]], has been the source of his most recent heartache and anger. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, despite the fact it should be ''him'' to ''her'', she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had been seeing each other up until that time when, in actuality, Chris had been [[friend zone]]d once again.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has came up with the image that they are actually [[homos]]exual [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods.
*[[Lars]] - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate [[JERKS|most other males]] for taking all of the [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]s and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with [[Jackie]], acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (With liberal use of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|racist terms]]) and threatening to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|to kill him]] should he say anything about it. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Now there's something to think about]]. However, it should be noted that this [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|isn't the first time]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|he has done this]].

===Online===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending taxpayer money on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingering [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; He's never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White (Who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons). He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], Homer Simpson and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and he was banned from the site.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]] and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama will actually listen to his whiny, fat ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that lead to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''five times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the Internet", that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However, Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to two weeks after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the Internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the Internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then reallow them, posting a flipnote that should be him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
*[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|Trollbusters]] - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on [[ModNation Racers]]. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself. Searches through Google, though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to [[fail]].

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - in an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over 200 dollars) for himself.

===Other===
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one.
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Chris and Health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he was ten years ago, despite the fact that he has a gut and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Homos]]exuality - Chris actually believes that homosexuality is a disease like AIDS or even the common cold. In his comics, he takes a page out of [[Family Guy]] and helps create the cure for homosexuality. Since it questions his own sexuality, he seeks to punish those who are in same-sex relations within CWCVille as well.
*[[CWC Blog#7 January 2010|His Birthday]] - Chris feels that his birthdate (24 February) should be a [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|national holiday]]; a "Second Day of Love" for [[Chris and his Ego|no valid reason whatsoever]].
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris believe he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advises him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a [[:File:Haitihelp.JPG|similar ad]] featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
*Similarly, the [[:File:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|poster]] ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the [[McIntire Park|message]] of the sign.
*[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his [[Chris and religion|retard magic]] to cleanse the souls of the [[trolls|wicked mortals]] who dare to play [[Kick the Autistic]] instead of worshipping him, and has done so [[One Blessing, and One Curse|on]] [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|numerous]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|occasions]].

==In the comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and even when he does appear, he's shouting some retarded praises about Chris. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but he's basically just a Mary-Sue analogy for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome (although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'') and will pull powers out of his ass. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "K-CWC"... the hotel is called the "Double CWC" ... even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created proclaim him "father". No one in his city cares if he slacks off from his job as Mayor. He even goes so far as to proclaim that there are no elections when he proclaims [[BILLY MAYS]] is NOT the True and Honest mayor of CWCville.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself, Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[lie|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of [[fail]].
*'''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts; despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being jealous of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hannah|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and they threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding true love. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character, [[Megagi]]. Chris would later claim Megan's character as his own.
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]] (who Chris would later claim as his own), as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent garbage.com]] (which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED), she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (the guy who created Chris's ED page), putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's Rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Chris and sex#pedophilia|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend (which makes no fucking sense storyline wise; truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out); a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]]; and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. After Reginald's plan fails, [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move (out of pity) and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a Power Rangers team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
*'''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues on, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, he uses the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", the proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009, (Chris's sense of time is legendary) will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. And then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pull evidence out of their asses and get them sentenced to death, two of which Chris participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), and friggin' shoots a disarmed Liquid with a [[Megatron pistol|gun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy. ]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and (in a startling display of overkill) [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday. |[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him (neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday). He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his [[trolls|army of fans]] to celebrate his hubris. And to remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

File talk:Kroger sighting.jpg

2010-11-12T00:32:21Z

Supersheep:

Kroger's does sell Hungry Man dinners. I know the ones near me here in Richmond, VA are starting to remodel. And they also sell Sushi & sake. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 09:11, 11 November 2010 (PST)
*Shouldn't it be noted that this is probably some way to take advantage of eating for free on Veterans day? This is going on Speculation.[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 11:47, 11 November 2010 (PST)
** Anyone else disturbed at this? I'm for mocking the stuff he releases or when he makes a public idiot out of himself, but randomly taking pictures of him when he's sitting around doing nothing is kinda pushing it. [[User:Supersheep|Supersheep]] 19:29, 11 November 2010 (EST)

Chris and health

2010-11-11T04:08:10Z

Supersheep: /* Mental health */

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to four times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no vegetables or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere thirty seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe. Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as long as a week at a stretch.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[the GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he keeps a bottle on hand at all times.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of [[My Coke Rewards|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}
==Mental health==

[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and [[rainbow]]s. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. As his mother, we will accept motherly bias as a mitigating factor in these statements.
* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==

In [[Jackie e-mails|correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction, which such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're in the spectrum of Autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent for the rest of his life. His whole good, ten years if he's lucky, life.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and health

2010-11-11T04:06:26Z

Supersheep: /* Mental health */

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to four times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no vegetables or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere thirty seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe. Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as long as a week at a stretch.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[the GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he keeps a bottle on hand at all times.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of [[My Coke Rewards|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}
==Mental health==

[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and [[rainbow]]s. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. As his mother, we will let this one go.
* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==

In [[Jackie e-mails|correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction, which such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're in the spectrum of Autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent for the rest of his life. His whole good, ten years if he's lucky, life.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and reality

2010-11-08T13:33:16Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL<br>WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s reasonable response to the above.}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

However, it is not completely out of left field to assume that a lot of Chris's problems with accepting reality stem from his tendency to deny facts and quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. Chris considers anyone who does not accept this thinking "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref> Chris has claimed to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE." <ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Chris's main reason for defending this believe probably stems from having accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be their father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc ibid.</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and Writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville is canon, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with autism, where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, [[Autism|Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth]].

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with Asperger's syndrome "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "Fact" is only his "own idea," Chris sees accepting the truth to the contrary as "conform[ing] to blasphem[y]."<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to [[Yu-Gi-Oh|read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral.]]

During a 2004 confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him. At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice. Whether or not he converses with the other characters is unknown at the moment.

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.{{cite}} Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. Long story short, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."{{cite}} This comes from an episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do, but his motivation was completely off mark—he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do want he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This belief gives Chris the some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his <s>doctor</s><ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> babysitter. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "make true love illegal," either in Virginia or nation-wide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to ruin his credit.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and reality

2010-11-08T13:32:43Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL<br>WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s reasonable response to the above.}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

However, it is not completely out of left field to assume that a lot of Chris's problems with accepting reality stem from his tendency to deny facts and quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. Chris considers anyone who does not accept this thinking "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref> Chris has claimed to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE." <ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Chris's main reason for defending this believe probably stems from having accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be their father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc ibid.</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and Writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville is canon, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with autism, where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, [[Autism|Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth]].

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with Asperger's syndrome "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "Fact" is only his "own idea," Chris sees accepting the truth to the contrary as "conform[ing] to blasphem[y]."<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to [[Yu-Gi-Oh|read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral.]]

During a 2004 confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him. At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice. Whether or not he converses with the other characters is unknown at the moment.

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.{{cite}} Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. Long story short, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."{{cite}} This comes from an episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do, but his motivation was completely off mark—he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploit the situation for their own benefit. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do want he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This belief gives Chris the some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his <s>doctor</s><ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> babysitter. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "make true love illegal," either in Virginia or nation-wide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to ruin his credit.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and reality

2010-11-08T02:32:14Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL<br>WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s reasonable response to the above.}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

However, it is not completely out of left field to assume that a lot of Chris's problems with accepting reality stem from his tendency to deny facts and quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. Chris considers anyone who does not accept this thinking "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref> Chris has claimed to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE." <ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Chris's main reason for defending this believe probably stems from having accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be their father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc ibid.</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and Writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville is canon, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with autism, where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, [[Autism|Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth]].

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with Asperger's syndrome "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "Fact" is only his "own idea," Chris sees accepting the truth to the contrary as "conform[ing] to blasphem[y]."<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to [[Yu-Gi-Oh|read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral.]]

During a 2004 confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him. At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice. Whether or not he converses with the other characters is unknown at the moment.

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.{{cite}} Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. Long story short, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."{{cite}} This comes from an episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do, but his motivation was completely off mark—he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do want he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This belief gives Chris the some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his <s>doctor</s><ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> babysitter. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "make true love illegal," either in Virginia or nation-wide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to ruin his credit.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and death

2010-09-11T00:08:28Z

Supersheep: Only Ivy died in that exchange. The walls of text seemed to indicate he survived, but simply failed in his rescue attempt.

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he has a hard time understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of Sonichu 10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>[[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]]</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon".

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Transformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for UVA who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for smoking. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's [[Chris and anger|not]] [[Chris and race|a]] [[Chris and sex|bad]] [[Chris and rape|man]]. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew or really cared about in order to make himself look good.

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his [[PSP]].]]
Coming soon... both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many health issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]].

On 01 [[March 2010]], Bob was sent to the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris stated that he believed his father would survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. On top of that, during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Bob stated that he already died (probably for a minute or two and then was brought back, or his heart had to be stopped during surgery). Bob has had four prior heart attacks and "Eat at Burger King" is still a part of his daily routine. His inevitable death (and probably one more heart attack) is likely to occur sometime within the next few years.

===Chris himself===
Given Chris's terrible diet, poor [[health]], [[obesity]], lack of exercise and general lack of concern for anything, he is unlikely to live far into his forties. However, he may be genetically disposed to live a long life: [[Bob]] has lived into his eighties despite being a heavy drinker, and other male relatives have lived past 90 (the average American man dies at 75 or 76).

Naturally, the death of Chris himself is the only death that immediately concerns Chris. And unsurprisingly, he is only worried about his death because it would put a stop to the Love Quest once and for all. Chris's fear of death is probably an extension of his fear of [[F Abstinance|reaching old age before getting laid]], as opposed to the fear of death exhibited by normal people. Chris also apparently has a recurring nightmare where he finds himself "going into the light". It is unknown when he began to have this nightmare, but it is likely one of the "bad dreams" Chris claimed that Ivy helped stop. It has probably been going on for years and will most likely continue until the day it comes true.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Chris and health

2010-09-11T00:03:02Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some [[Guitar Hero]] on [[Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or Burger King (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring caloric intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that Barbara does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 am to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_incontinence#Constipation</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no vegetables or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atorvastatin Lipitor] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the Father Call and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe.

Because of the lack of showers and the decrepit state of his home, the kitchen and bath tiles are covered with a disgusting black and brown mold. Curiously, he endorses Axe Shower Gel. Considering that he refuses to take showers and is a sucker for Axe products, one wonders what he even bothers using it for.

Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes. Close perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as many as three or four days at a stretch. Fortunately, for his wardrobe at least, Chris sleeps in the nude, except for socks.{{cite}} There's something to think about.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

In the [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], neither of them recall Chris emitting any particular stench, implying that this is a problem that started after Chris stopped regularly going outside. However, according to someone who contacted Wes Iseli, Chris was already odorous around the time he attended PVCC. This suggests that Chris would shower for his evenings at the GAMe PLACe but not for school. It's also worth noting that Chris mentions in his FAQ's that he showers "nightly". If this is true, Chris's nightly showers are a complete waste of time, as he goes from the shower to bed (most likely) and then marinates in his own sweat while sleeping, thus reinvigorating his unpleasant odor for another day.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. Mimms and Lucas recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at the GAMe PLACe, and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he keeps a bottle on hand at all times.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of carbonated drinks, poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}
==Mental health==
[[Image:THAT ONE'S ON THE HOUSE.gif|right]]
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a 10-year-old with some ''Playboy'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and rainbows. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always tell him how "handsome" he was. Only the fact that she is his mother precludes this was being an obvious sign of her own failing mental state.

* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the Blanca incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[Billy Mays]] would have looked the same if Billy shaved off his beard. In high school, he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg Sonichu 7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==
In [[Jackie e-mails|correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a 3-year old girl on helium all the way to Gilbert Gottfried. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Aspergers Syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls Conker of ''Conker's Bad Fur Day''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction, which such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're in the spectrum of Autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent for the rest of his life. His whole good, 10 years if he's '''''lucky''''', life.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Duck

2010-09-06T00:24:31Z

Supersheep:

{{Honest}}

[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Even in the comic, it's bent. (Maybe he traced it.)]]

[[Image:Cwchatesducks.png|thumb|left|He does not like the ducks.]]

[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", since 'u' is next to 'i' on the qwerty keyboard, but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[2009#February|February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.

Chris's chode is bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle. When asked why it is bent, he replied, "it's been that way." Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris has used [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He proudly claims his penis is 6 inches long;<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> however, this appears highly unlikely (even if he measured both segments). From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average.

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his cock is of no more than average size, and apparently regrets this fact. In an [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

Another layer of creepiness is that although Chris likely doesn't know this, ducks commit rape quite often. Likewise, homosexual behaviour is also quite common among male ducks, [http://www.nmr.nl/nmr/pages/showPage.do?instanceid=16&itemid=1930&style=default up to and including lengthy acts of homosexual necrophilia after attempted rape].

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[white knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a duck not his own.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See Also==
* [[Pickles]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
* [[Mass Debate]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Naïve

2010-09-05T11:32:36Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris on the dreaded word<ref>From a YouTube comment to [[Liquid Chris]] on the [[REAL_Protest_against_the_FAKE#Youtube_comments_from_Chris|REAL Protest against the FAKE]] video.</ref>}}

{{quote|You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.|
Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, giving his opinion on the matter}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults; despite this, it is apparently his least favorite word.<ref>From [[Mailbag_21#Chris%27s_favorite_curse_word_is_an_%22F%22_followed_by_3_asterisks|Mailbag 21]].</ref>. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. By the time of the [[Jackie e-mails]], he had apparently corrected his definition outwardly, but unless he [[Chris and his ego|really cares]] about his [[Virgin with rage|non-existent experience]], he probably still believes it simply means "stupid".<ref>[[Jackie e-mails Part 2]]: "Naive; it questions my mentality and experience."</ref> He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults.

Chris has called others ([[Liquid_Chris|largely]] [[Alec_Benson_Leary|trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. During the Liquid Saga, he remarked that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "[[CCWC%27s_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|about as bad as the word naïve to me now]]". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

Ironically, back in the comics, he's accurately used it to describe himself in a non-condescending way, being "naive about dating during young adult years", suggesting that he once understood its definition properly.

=== Ways in which Chris is naïve ===

* He believes that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|popular internet topic with millions of fans]]. Despite all of the evidence proving that Sonichu has no real fans (only 5,000 or so trolls), he continues to believe in this delusion on the grounds that he is an "[[Mailbag_53|optimist]]."
* He believes that everyone [[Recycling|shares]] [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that [[Asperger_syndrome|Asperger's]] must be completely different from [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] due to their different names, despite [[Mailbag_4#Chris_the_close-minded|lacking]] any [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|proof]] to back this belief, or the fact that people who study and research these disorders for a living prove that they are similar.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|malicious perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]], the same beliefs as the [[Wikipedia:Westboro_Baptist_Church|Westboro Baptist Church]].
* He believes that [[Sonichu_(character)|cartoon characters]] are [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|real, living beings]] that exist in an alternate [[CWCville|world]].<ref>From the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second]] of the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]].</ref>
* He believes that [[Chris_and_Copyright#Copyright_registration|registering "digital drawings"]] with the Library of Congress gives him [[Chris_and_his_ego|complete control]] over [[Fan:Index|anything]] done with [[Sonichu]].<ref>The subject of the video "[[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]."</ref>
* He believes that simply being alive counts as "experience", despite the fact that he never goes out to experience anything.
* He believes that [[Wikipedia:Correlation_implies_causation_(logical_fallacy)|correlation implies causation]]; or, that if he demands something happen (mostly via [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)|YouTube video]] or his [[Death_threats#Cogsdev|now]]-[[Mailbag_18#In_which_Chris_believes_he_has_magic_powers_(srsly)|abandoned]] [[Cwcipedia|website]]), and - by some miracle - it happens, then his demands must have caused the desired effect. These effects include death or extreme misfortune for people, and downtime or content removal for websites.
* He believes that marijuana is simply a more dangerous [[Tobacky|cigarette]].

==Sauce==
<references />

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Duck

2010-09-04T04:58:11Z

Supersheep:

{{Honest}}

[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Even in the comic, it's bent. (Maybe he traced it.)]]

[[Image:Cwchatesducks.png|thumb|left|He does not like the ducks.]]

[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", since 'u' is next to 'i' on the qwerty keyboard, but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[2009#February|February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.

Chris's chode is bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle. When asked why it is bent, he replied, "it's been that way." Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris has used [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He proudly claims his penis is 6 inches long;<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> however, this appears highly unlikely (even if he measured both segments). From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average.

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his cock is of no more than average size, and apparently regrets this fact. In an [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

Another layer of creepiness is that although Chris likely doesn't know this, ducks commit rape quite often.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[white knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a duck not his own.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See Also==
* [[Pickles]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
* [[Mass Debate]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Duck

2010-09-04T04:43:41Z

Supersheep:

{{Honest}}

[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Even in the comic, it's bent. (Maybe he traced it.)]]

[[Image:Cwchatesducks.png|thumb|left|He does not like the ducks.]]

[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", since 'u' is next to 'i' on the qwerty keyboard, but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[2009#February|February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.

Chris's chode is bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle. When asked why it is bent, he replied, "it's been that way." Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris has used [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He proudly claims his penis is 6 inches long;<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> however, this appears highly unlikely (even if he measured both segments). From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average.

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his cock is of no more than average size, and apparently regrets this fact. In an [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

Another layer of creepiness is that although Chris likely doesn't know this, ducks are some of the most rapacious animals on the planet.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[white knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a duck not his own.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See Also==
* [[Pickles]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
* [[Mass Debate]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-08-19T03:52:52Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]'']]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===

In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 28-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s, he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. At age 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played cards.

Much like how acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a dime]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets money and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "[[blacks]]" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that homos are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old-Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old-Testament is "more for Jewish people," however the one Old-Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on Family Guy is still valid.

In the world of Sonichu, the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own semen, and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.'''<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works — legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "[[parody|parodic]]," but doesn't like creations that he has labeled "parodies" either.

Since ''LittleBigPlanet'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over [http://www.zazzle.com/sonichu+gifts VERY REAL] unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[eBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee]] describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The Game Place]] to the internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recorded an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent or knowledge. Not only has the irony completely escaped Chris, but he is deliberately spreading the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, believing that others will find him in the right despite his shady tactics. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to surreptitiously take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera.

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins after disarming him. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

In late May 2010, Chris abandoned the [[CWCipedia]] after trolls overran it once again. In a message left behind, Chris claims that anything that doesn't come from his YouTube account, the former CWCipedia webpage or his [[OKCupid]] account is false and that anything shown elsewhere was made up just to slander ''him''. It's easy to see that Chris does not want others to see what kind of person he really is and thus claims that everything else that wasn't on something he created is false. Sadly, it doesn't work that way - just looking up his name in any of its forms brings up a lot of information about him, mostly the same things we already know about him. The Internet is a dangerous place and Chris doesn't know how dangerous it is.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

A big example of Chris's hypocrisy is the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight]] lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. That's right, serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. This sequence was incredibly hypocritical, as he sentenced them to death and killed them '''as he listed off all the ways in which he wronged them.'''

In the [[05142010]] video, Chris shows us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to give up a character that didn't belong to him in the first place.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris is railing heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and thinks that realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> Yet, at the same time, he thought the ''Saw'' movie series was good, ''despite'' the gruesome deaths featured therein. Even if this is not outright hypocrisy, it's still clear that there's something very ''odd'' going on in here; it's clear that he's enjoyed some mature-rated works, but he's still clinging to teen-rated games at best — there's huge amounts of cognitive dissonance at work here.

Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[Pandahalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Remember, this is a comic for kids!]]

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. While these are both highly controversial means of inflicting capital punishment, they both exist in the real world as ways to accomplish something as terrible as ending a human life as quickly as possible, and in that way they are arguably humane.

By contrast, there is nothing humane or even reasonable about the deaths of Evan and Mao. Evan is shackled to a wall, and mutilated for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently fatally electricuted by Wild and Sandy. This outright torture included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, screaming in agony, Chris telekinetically burst his heart with not a bit of [[remorse]] or justification of why.

All of the violence in the final pages of Sonichu 10 is particularly egregious when compared to what the ''offenders'' came up with. While Asperchu and [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] feature violence and gore, it's all clearly over the top and meant to be humorous. Chris's depiction of violence comes across as dead serious, and he seems to hate the offenders with the fury of a thousand suns. Also of note is that most of the violent acts in Asperchu are committed by villains, like Metal Asperchu and [[Silvana]]. In Sonichu, these executions were carried out by the ''heroes'', including a [[Bill the Scientist|doctor]], a [[Sandy Rosechu|little girl]], and the [[Chris|mayor]].

Chris not only has difficulties understanding mature content when it comes to violence, but also sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu_is_a_Horrendous_Joke|he'll put tiny stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. Yet when it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris takes great pains to censor swear words and scold others for using them. Sonichu 10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime. He'll even censor vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap." However, none of this is being done for the children. Chris loves pornography and dislikes when other people swear (note that he swears all the damn time), so that's how his comic is going to be presented.

==="Nobody needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet forever===

On the afternoon of Sunday March 21st, Chris announced he was [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokemon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of Monday, March 22nd — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''The Cleveland Show'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Naïve

2010-07-29T23:30:22Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris on the dreaded word<ref>From a YouTube comment to [[Liquid Chris]] on the [[REAL_Protest_against_the_FAKE#Youtube_comments_from_Chris|REAL Protest against the FAKE]] video.</ref>}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults. Despite this, it is apparently his least favorite word.<ref>From [[Mailbag_21#Chris%27s_favorite_curse_word_is_an_%22F%22_followed_by_3_asterisks|Mailbag 21]].</ref>

Chris has called others ([[Liquid_Chris|largely]] [[Alec_Benson_Leary|trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. During the Liquid Saga, he remarked that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "[[CCWC%27s_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|about as bad as the word naïve to me now]]". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

Ironically, back in the comics, he's accurately used it to describe himself in a non-condescending way, being "naive about dating during young adult years", suggesting that he once understood its definition properly.

=== Ways in which Chris is naïve ===

* He believes that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|popular internet topic with millions of fans]]. Despite all of the evidence proving that Sonichu has no real fans (only 5,000 or so trolls), he continues to believe in this delusion on the grounds that he is an "[[Mailbag_53|optimist]]."
* He believes that everyone [[Recycling|shares]] [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that [[Asperger_syndrome|Asperger's]] must be completely different from [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] due to their different names, despite [[Mailbag_4#Chris_the_close-minded|lacking]] any [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|proof]] to back this belief, or the fact that people who study and research these disorders for a living prove that they are similar.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|malicious perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]], the same beliefs as the [[Wikipedia:Westboro_Baptist_Church|Westboro Baptist Church]].
* He believes that [[Sonichu_(character)|cartoon characters]] are [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|real, living beings]] that exist in an alternate [[CWCville|world]].<ref>From the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second]] of the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]].</ref>
* He believes that [[Chris_and_Copyright#Copyright_registration|registering "digital drawings"]] with the Library of Congress gives him [[Chris_and_his_ego|complete control]] over [[Fan:Index|anything]] done with [[Sonichu]].<ref>The subject of the video "[[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]."</ref>
* He believes that simply being alive counts as "experience", despite the fact that he never goes out to experience anything.
* He believes that [[Wikipedia:Correlation_implies_causation_(logical_fallacy)|correlation implies causation]]; or, that if he demands something happen (mostly via [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)|YouTube video]] or his [[Death_threats#Cogsdev|now]]-[[Mailbag_18#In_which_Chris_believes_he_has_magic_powers_(srsly)|abandoned]] [[Cwcipedia|website]]), and - by some miracle - it happens, then his demands must have caused the desired effect. These effects include death or extreme misfortune for people, and downtime or content removal for websites.
* He believes that marijuana is simply a more dangerous [[Tobacky|cigarette]].

==Sauce==
<references />

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Sonichu 10

2010-07-24T15:37:04Z

Supersheep:

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = [[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| coverdate = 15 September 2008
| finishedcomic = 25 February 2010
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu 10''''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]) although he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu 10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|09 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "[[time void]]" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until ''after'' #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu #9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. By the end of Episode 21, however, he remains in the comic.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

===Death of Simonla===
During the production of Sonichu 10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was putting pressure on Chris to kill or otherwise remove from the comics [[Simonla Rosechu]], whose creation had been based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, Simonchu. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a kangaroo court, are bloodily executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of Sonichu 10.

{{-}}
==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===

The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However, there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named [[Lovely Weather]]. Chris then goes on to reveal that he [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], and then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos]]exuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen.

He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!). Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he psychically calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the hundreds of plot holes: He calls out to Allison Amber and [[BILLY MAYS]], who somehow survived [[Sonichu 9]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], [[Guitar Hero]] and his plastic instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at [[4chan|4-Cent Garbage]]'s HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild play in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]

Chris, before killing his enemies, makes a stop at a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (a large, not-so-subtle sign notes the building is somehow hosted by Tripod, one of Chris's original webspace providers). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the Devil [[Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The trolls' flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, as best he can, the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He then proceeds to teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, after "burning the Tripod bridge", proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, who's revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, preparing up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed. Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''Guitar Hero'' [[guitar]]. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two sonichus fight it out until the two of them conveniently hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, Son-Chu, Sonichu, Blake and Wild arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===POWER RANGERS FUCK YEAH===

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel, evidently alive, [[Clyde Cash]], making his first official appearance in the comics, and [[Jack Thaddeus]], also making his first appearance, warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too [[alcohol|drunk]] to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375. A memorial would be put up in the ruins and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they probably had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time]] one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

===Chris trolls himself again===

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, meaning Chris has cheated on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===

After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for RuleCWC with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile in RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him, then asks how long he was out. That's right, the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid Rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "coles" the window hatch.

[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]

In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[Hex_bawx|HEX BAWX]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[Chris and sex|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the [[Asperpedia]], ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator, before he escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEX BAWX. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. While the art in Asperchu is hardly professional grade, at the very least it shows some understanding of perspective, proportion, and pacing. If anything it looks like a moderately skilled artist who just happens to be drawing very quickly, whereas Sonichu looks like it's drawn by a [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded child]].

While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEX BAWX.

At this point the group literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before Chris]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God; simply a representative of God. Metal Asperchu then shows up and assaults the group. Chris creates a barrier, though he doesn't bother to use his nigh-omnipotence to destroy the enemy or send him to the [[The Moon|goddamn moon]] and instead forces the non-chaotic Combo to combine their powers to defeat the creature. With that out of the way, they thank Chris again for being so awesome, then spot Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary off-screen, and go to [[death threats|physically assault him]]. Chris has never seen an actual picture of Alec, and so he is never depicted. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Page 65 is a wall of text so mindbogglingly long and retarded that Chris has to cut his way out from the previous page (or something) to cram a picture. The tl;dr of it is an attempt to once again retcon everything his characters have done in anyone else's comics, reaffirming their sexuality, sweethearts, occupations, and rebuking any characterizations that say otherwise, in an attempt to absolutely distinguish that his Sonichu is unrelated to Asperchu in any way. He finishes by stating that his characters will never go to Minnesota, nor interact with any Mitch/Asperchu unless he says so. A point of interest is an implication that Chris thinks using Magi-chan to railroad the plot illustrates his "strength", as he considers Alec's take on the character to be "weak" for not doing exactly this. He also seems to think that Metal Asperchu is a Pokemon, which is strange considering that his [[Metal Sonichu|own robot]] has no place on his convoluted evolution chart.

Impatient, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story.

Back in CWCville, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]] (who has been trying to convince Chris to remove her from the comic via the [[Mailbag]] for weeks), who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]], but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Finally, Ultra Sonichu and the 4 unnamed Rosechus supposedly from [[Chris|Alec's]] basement arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. [[Basement Rosechus|The Rosechus]], named Brit-tay, Bride, Moe and Mary, decide to live their lives <s>as vapid airheads who do nothing but simper over Sonichus</s> the way they should. Ultra Sonichu helps Mary into a wheelchair and flies off. As he leaves, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. The guy tells Sonichu he's been fighting a cold for five years and Sonichu thinks it's because of the nicotine (yes, folks. The man's high and Chris thinks it's because of tobacky!). He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]], where [[Fan: Moon-Pals|certain people will know how to use it better]]. Flying to the highest point of CWCVille, Ultra Sonichu uses Chaotic Control to free every [[Jerkop]] in the city.

===The Final Countdown===

Meanwhile, Collosal Chan confronts [[Slaweel Ryam]] in the [[PVCC]]. There, Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune as some means for Chris to justify the running plot thread of Mary Lee Walsh and her Jerkops had been somehow trying to stop TRUE and HONEST love and keep VIRGINIA for VIRGINS. [[Count Graduon]] had told her he could help her, but that obviously [[fail]]ed. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to smash it, her boobs apparently inflating to the levels of [[Mary Lee Walsh#Fan art|troll fan art]] as she does. Chris looks at it like an idiot and does so without a second thought. With that, Chris goes into a spiel in which he complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will kill Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and, of course, Chris gets the upper hand, reflecting Slaweel's attacks back at her before deftly defeating her. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]

With Slaweel defeated, Chris goes on to make a public announcement, mentioning that Slaweel has been put in a maximum security prison, with her ex-manajerks being released free of charges. He also goes on to allow homosexuality in CWCVille, but makes marriage illegal. He appoints Crystal head of social relations to try to make things better. As he talks, admitting [[Asperchu|Alec]] had a bigger fan base, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. ''Deus Ex Machina'' that he is, Magi-Chan stops [[Evan]] and [[Simonchu]] from killing Simonla, but isn't able to stop Alec from planting Toilet Exploding Voltorb, which detonates and hits Simonla while she's taking a piss. The police and medics race to deal with the aftermath, with Magi-Chan handing Evan and Simonchu over to the police. As Wild tends to Simonla, she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'').

As Wild worries and everyone tries to save Simonla, things go downhill and Simonla dies. Wild is told the bad news by [[Bill the Scientist]] and plans to get revenge on Simonla's killers, only to be stopped by Magi-Chan, since the killers had all conveniently already been arrested. At that time, Simonla's egg hatches, and the first thing the Rosey asks is "Where's Mommy?" Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her. Over the week, Wild tends to the little Rosey, who quickly evolves into [[Sandy Rosechu]]. Some explanation is given for Sandy's training and home life, including a mention that she is taught English (even though she is shown to be perfectly capable of speaking full sentences at the exact moment of her birth).

===Forgiveness...?===

The sequence of events is interspersed with Chris delivering an [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_6|apology]] to Alec and Evan and bestowing a Forgiveness Blessing on Mao. Both are completely undermined by the events of the next several pages, proving yet again that Chris [[Chris_and_remorse#Motivation_to_apologize|views an apology purely as a way to get people off his back]].

[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of CWCVille versus Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao. Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (who seems to be based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing. Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while high. The judge asks for order in the court and Sean orders [[fail|a beer float and pot stickers]]. All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. They're then sentenced to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
Alec is first, put on the Ten-Button Electric Chair. Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu- meaning Alec is '''flash-fried''' for daring to write a comic. Notable instances include Sonichu's protest of "I'M NOT GAY", Punchy's cry of "BLOOD AND GORE", Bubbles and her bitch Blake bitching about that Bubbles is not retarded, and Bionic's claim that he is not a robot (despite never being depicted as one). Evan is chained to a wall and '''drilled to bits by the infant Sandy''', who keeps his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there) before Wild helps her finish him off. '''Sean is shot to death by Allison, Bill and Kellie''' and finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]] with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before finally crushing his heart''', making this the bloodiest comic ever, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|despite Chris stating just ''pages'' earlier that the rampant gore in the Asperpedia was practically criminal.]]

It should be noted that when [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''.

Although the battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] was the culmination of years of comics by Chris coming to a head, it is given far less time and importance than the trial and execution by the Asperpedia crew. Similarly, Crystal's rescue from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] is done in about a page and a half, with no dialogue and no indication that it is in any way significant to the plot.

Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Independence Day. The comic ends with a page dedicating the book to [[PandaHalo]] and includes her original fanart and a page from her comic.

==="Extras"===

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===Preview===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris (who obviously is NOT pulling himself out of the comic) admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her <s>special drill bit</s> lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s>Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]]. On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Unsurprisingly, this never happened.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] <br><br><br>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Angelica

2010-07-23T11:46:25Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:Angelica.jpg|thumb|right|Angelica as she appears in [[Sonichu 3]]]]
{{quote|FUCK!! Did she have to do that in [[Grace Baptist Church|the house of God]]?!!|[[Chris]], commenting on Angelica's [[Mass debating|masturbation]] in church}}
{{quote|Angelica is a religious type; she feels peace and tranquility often from the presence of God and Jesus and her healthy life in general.|Chris, describing the [[Reginald Sneasel|Sneasel]]-fucking whore in [[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Mailbag 7]].}}

'''Angelica''' is a [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]] that formed from eggs released by the rainbow as a result of the collision between [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Super Sonic]] and a [[Pikachu]]. She is a flying/electric type, which would probably not work since electric attacks do horrifying damage to flying types. Despite the fact that she was hatched in 2004, [[Chris]] insists that she is over 18 and therefore making porn of her masturbating doesn’t make him a [[pedophile]].

[[Chris and religion|Angelica was brought up in a strict convent, with nuns being the only family she ever knew.]] Her painfully bleak upbringing clashes with her apparently insatiable sexual appetites, no doubt causing her massive tension and guilt. The fierce repression of her youth, in the cold surroundings of the brutal convent, led to her later rebellion which tragically took the form of her indoctrination into the [[Chaotic Combo]]. She went from diligently worshiping Jesus to being nothing but a masturbatory aid for her demented creator, another lobotomized beast rattling around in the bird-cage of Chris's mind.

Like other rosechus, she has [[Chris and Writing|no discernable personality whatsoever]], aside from a verbal tic ("Lord") that Chris claims is indicative of a pious personality.

She is a combination of 3 characters:
*[[Raichu]]
*[[Amy Rose]]
*Angels
==Comic Appearances==
===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===
Angelica's Egg came into the possession of a group of nuns, who nurtured the egg until its hatching, revealing a small, white, winged Rosey. After learning how to fly under the watch of nuns, she evolved one night in her sleep - on said night also being secretly visited by Chris-chan, who gave her shoes and a scrunchie - but nothing to cover up her breasts and [[china|genitals]]...
===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===
Angelica meets the [[Chaotic Combo]] moments after planting a flower garden and viewing it from above, when all of a sudden, [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] come crashing through, shortly followed by the rest of the rainbow retards. After a short discussion, Angelica, along with her newfound team, proceed to beat the hell out of Blake (like a good Christian would) and celebrate accordingly. It is established that Angelica's main mode of attack and defense is through using her wings rather than any electric powers.
===[[Sonichu 5]]===
She has brief cameos in this issue but no speaking lines because she has no personality at all.
===[[Sonichu 6]]===
In this issue, Angelica pretends to be concerned about [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's imaginary twin sister]] getting trapped in the mirror one minute, and the next minute she talks about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s great basketball skills. She and [[Bubbles]] think to themselves “What a dreamboat”, smoldering with barely contained lust.
===Episode 18 Prologue===
Here we see the [[Chaotic Combo]] celebrating their 19th birthday on February 2, 2008. This is a lame ass attempt to make [[Chris]] look like less of a [[pedofork|pedophile]].
===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring break]]===
While sunbathing with [[Rosechu]] Angelica makes the mistake of asking bubbles why she doesn't need sunscreen, and is subjected to a long boring lecture. After [[Blake]] shows up and kicks sand at them before being led away by Bubbles, Angelica and Rosechu giggle about Blake's faux macho attitude.
===[[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Date Ed]]===
While absent for most of the episode, Angelica shows up on the last few pages to hook up with [[Reginald Sneasel]] for no good reason. Apparently she's only attracted to pathetic losers. She's also an extremely poor judge of character, calling an obsessive liar who partakes in acts of vandalism "honest" and "sweet".
===[[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC Defense]]===
Angelica is shown waking up in bed with Reginald at her church home, removing all doubt that she's a dirty whore. She's later seen taking down several flying enemies. She precisely aims the wreckage to form a [[Wikipedia:Pentagram|Pentagram]] around her church. So much for being a good Christian.

== Love Quest ==
Angelica went through the first 8 Sonichu books not showing any interest in any of the male characters, before finally shacking with [[Reginald Sneasel]] in [[Episode 19]] after he called her cute. Given that Reginald is basically a Chris stand-in, it's generally assumed by [[trolls]] that Chris would like his relationship to start in a similar manner: a girl throwing herself at him not in spite of the fact that he's pathetic, but because of it.

==[[Rule 34]]==
Chris drew Rule 34 of Angelica, which he uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], hoping that it would encourage [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] et al. to remove his article. Instead, his plan backfired, resulting in an increased interest in him and his work.

The picture in question was originally included with the caption "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!", suggesting that Angelica has a penchant for masturbating in church. Some believe that the real reason for Chris's dismissal from [[Grace Baptist Church]] was a similar incident, in which the line was repeated to him, but there is no evidence to back up this claim.

Angelica's struggle with sexual sin might be an insight into Chris's own struggle between his Christianity and his sexual desires. While Chris claims to be a Christian, he acts similarly to Angelica, maintaining a veneer of piousness yet living in a prison of [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], masturbation, pornography, and [[Homo#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|complete submission to his sexuality]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:270-YuAngelica.jpg|Yu-Gi-OH BABY
Image:271-Angelica.jpg|The power of prayer... it does nothing to relieve the crapfest.
</gallery>
</center>
{{CWCipedia|chris=Angelica Sonichu}}

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]

Reginald Sneasel

2010-07-23T11:44:12Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:CWCsSneasel.jpg|thumb|Reginald Sneasel.]]
[[Image:215Sneasel.png|thumb|An actual Sneasel.]]

'''Reginald''' is a [[Pokémon|Sneasel]] who wears a headband (One similar to the one worn by Ryu of the Street Fighter series) and [[homos|cutoff jeans]]. He only barely resembles a Sneasel, as his [[Chris and art|coloring and body shape are completely off]], but at least he looks vaguely similar to what he was allegedly ripped off from (unlike [[Layla Flaaffy]], who isn't even close). He is not only an excuse for Chris to remove [[Punchy]] from being paired up with [[Angelica]], but he's also an excuse to draw himself back into the comic while stuck in the time void: look carefully at [[Heterochromia|the color of those eyes]]. His inclusion is highly confusing as he is introduced shortly after [[Simonla]] announces she wants to name her hypothetical son "Reginald".

== In the comic ==
Reginald is a Sneasel who makes his first [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] appearance in [[Sonichu_9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|episode 19]]. Reginald is in love with [[Layla]] and tries to steal her from [[Punchy]] with a [[fail|cunning plan]]. Unfortunately, Layla and Punchy still manage to hook up despite Reginald cutting the keyboard cord on the computer.

While Reginald is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0 feeling sorry for himself] outside, he is approached by [[Angelica]], who flirts with him. As a result, Reginald manages to summon up the courage to ask her out. To her everlasting shame, she says yes. In episode 20, he was seen in bed with Angelica, proving that even after being raised by nuns, she, like all of the other [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]], is a total slut. Unlike the other Rosechus, however, she will die for her sins. [[Chris and religion|She's Christian, after all.]]

In the first draft of episode 19, Reginald is shown to be 28 years old. In the final version of the comic though, Chris de-ages him by 10 years, thus making Reginald 18, the same age as Layla. Chris most likely made this change so Reginald wouldn't seem like such an obvious avatar for him. However, it's also likely that this was done so Chris wouldn't look like a [[pedofork]].

== As a Mary Sue ==
While Chris is stuck in the time void, Reginald is essentially the replacement Chris. Sad, pathetic, lonely, (but not in his late 20s) Reginald attempts to sabotage Punchy's burgeoning relationship with [[Layla]] out of jealousy. Like Chris, he fails. Unlike Chris, however, Reginald somehow manages to find a [[Angelica|boyfriend-free girl]] willing to look past the layers of self-loathing to his shallow, childish core. Of note is that Angelica finds Reginald "[[honest]]" and "sweet", and that ''she'' approached ''him''. Also note, his entire existence up to that point involved him obsessing over another girl, spreading false rumours about his desired paramour to try and dissuade his rival, and actively trying to sabotage his rival's attempts.

Angelica and Reginald's pairing is essentially how Chris would like his first relationship to start. Chris wants a girl to be attracted to his honesty and [[Attraction Sign|approach him]] so that he doesn't have to do any of the legwork on his own.

Chris also seems to have some peculiar attachment to the name "Reginald". Aside from Sneasel, it's the given name of Chris's imaginary future son, as well as that of the imaginary future son of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. [[Common Questions#Answered 15 January 2010|When asked about this]], Chris explains that a woman (most likely [[PandaHalo]]) suggested the name for the previously-mentioned imaginary son of Chris, which probably kicked off this obsession.

Reginald has not reappeared in any significant way in Chris's comics since Chris emerged from the [[Time Void]]. However, Sneasel's fumbling stupidity has perversely made him a favorite with trolls, and he played a key role in the April 2010 episodes of [[Sonichu 11]].

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Chris and religion

2010-07-23T03:31:00Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of [[JERKS|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], debate, [[Lies|deceit]], malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], boasters, inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Catholic church Chris could have come up with, as most Catholic churches have a patron saint.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls|trolls']] side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]].]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC_Update_9_April_2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [[Wikipedia:Unitarian|Unitarian]] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything Chris [[fail|fails]] at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[fail]]ure was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To_Clyde_and_Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter in [[Mailbag 33]] asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

It's important to ask Christians why, if God is so loving, there is pain and suffering in the world, and why they have suffered at the hands of him. However, unlike many Christians, Chris can't even think of a half-assed answer to the question. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle_paul_rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of Apostle Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics.]]
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]], and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible. His homophobia apparently had nothing to do with Leviticus 18:22, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from [[Family Guy]]. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much.<br/>

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]).
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household chores is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris_and_anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father. He also [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|called his father a bastard]] once.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done ... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris (like many fundamentalist and evangelical Christians) seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos|homosexuality]] is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, and many people who cite this verse, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Most Christians pick and choose which Levitical laws they obey and which were "merely metaphor" or "just for the Hebrews" despite what [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:17&version=NIV Jesus Christ said about the laws]. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokemon|pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate.<br> 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities.<br> 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again.<br> 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. <br>5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris' terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're true and honest, you will receive blessings.

Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death. Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Fail|failure]].

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American south, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in Taoism, a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." It's even harder for atheists to try and take GodJesus seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

This might have been Chris trying to be funny, as the second sentence doesn't make any sense.

[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]] reveals that Chris has some awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching [[South Park]]. He appears to not understand that Jews and Buddhists don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from [[South Park]]). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A| article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".{{cite}}

==TL;DR version==

Chris is a terrible Christian and will likely burn in hell.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Sonee & Rosey

2010-07-17T15:30:58Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|thumb|A '''Sonee''' and a '''Rosey'''. Note that Rosey's looking lustfully at Sonee. [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Seriously]].]]

'''Sonees''' and '''Roseys''' are the pre-evolutionary forms of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Their colors usually correspond to their type. Most [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in the comic started out as eggs that fell out of a [[homos|rainbow]] and hatched as Sonees and Roseys.

Technically, baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] never could have existed because they were transformed directly from a Pikachu and Raichu, not Pichu, their pre-evolved form. It's also unconfirmed whether or not the ''[[Hanky-panky|miracle of birth]]'' provides Sonichu offspring with their shoes, bows, and skirts shown. None of the [[Chaotic Combo]], or [[Silvana]], correspond to the "Original Sonee and Rosey", but rather to the prismatic range of the [[Rainbow]]. There's also a continuity in the attire with the "Sonichu/Rosechu" species; "Sonees" are stark-naked with shoes while "Roseys" are wearing dresses. This might be a link with their [[Homos|sexuality]] but Chris, their grandfather, is [[Mailbag 19|unclear on the subject]].

Although Chris has stated that he finds them cute, most ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Trolls|readers]] reacted in disgust when first confronted with these hideously repulsive creatures, and a large consensus has agreed that they are some of the most aggravating characters, their lack of comprehensible (relatively speaking; most Sonichu dialogue is at least in something that resembles [[English]]) speech being a major cause of anger. Their physical appearance is also a source of much disgust, as it is an overload of conventionally "cute" characteristics, done horribly wrong. They look like they're trying too hard to be cute, and it is sickening.

The appearance by [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] in [[A Sonichu Day]] is a particularly grating one, as Chris gives them some of the most retarded dialogue he has ever given, in a despicably twee voice. Their appearance in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], where he uses them to represent younger versions of himself and [[Sarah Hammer]], is also horrific when you realize just how contrived and passive-aggressive it all is.

__NOTOC__
{{clear}}

==Sonee==
{{quote|Sonee is the pre-evolved form of sonichu. He is known to have a lot of [[spunk]] and speed. This cute pokemon packs a lot of [[sex|action]].|Sonee ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He has a lot of spunk and speed, and is quite "cute". He is apparently born with shoes on. Like most other Pokemon, they can only speak gibberish.

==Rosey==
[[Image:SchuComic4Page4.jpg|thumb|The birth of a '''Rosey''' [[Bubbles]], sans skirt.]]

{{quote|Rosey is the pre-evolved form of rosechu. Her [[Pickle|cuteness]] always gets the [[Pedofork|awe of her enemies]]. When she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute.|[[:Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|Rosey Animal Crossing card]]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. According to Chris her so called "cuteness" always gets the awe of her enemies, and when she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute. This last feat is physically impossible, but never mind ''that'', because it offers an [[Pedofork|opportunity]] for panty-shots, that is if they had any, which in fact makes it even worse. It is unclear if Rosey is born with her skirt on, or if it is purchased separately. The Rosey form of [[Bubbles]], for instance (see right), was never born with a skirt.

==Biologee==
An examination of the birthdates of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] reveals that Rosechus have a gestation period of less than three months. This amount of time would for a normal creature be insufficient for healthy development, which possibly explains why Sonees and Roseys appear [[retarded]] and half-[[Yawning Squirtle|baked all the time]].

However, Sonees and Rosees seem to vary a lot in intelligence. As infants, the Chaotic Combo could only say their own names (which is supposed to be [[Things Chris has ripped off|how Pokemon communicate]]). And the "Original" Sonee and Rosey can only say Goo-Goo, suggesting they start with even less intelligence. However, the Sonichu Children are capable of speaking in complete (albeit mangled) sentences. Hell, Sandy was able to talk right after she was born! This discrepancy in intelligence has been addressed in [[Mailbag 23]] in which Chris states that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah, Christine and Robbie]] learned English from their parents and that the Chaotic combo didn't have English speaking guardians, which is a [[lie]] as [[Bubbles]] started speaking English while trying to rescue her mother and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] didn't even have any human guardians. This still doesn't address why Sandy could speak right after being born. Regardless of this, they are all still of inferior intelligence.

It is also worth noting that Sonees and Roseys do not wear the white gloves that Sonichu and Rosechu wear at all times; acquiring the gloves is likely a rite-of-passage. Disturbingly, Sonees and Roseys have rounded stumps rather than hands which gives them the appearance of Thalidomide babies, but knowing Chris, he probably ripped them off from the creatures from the ''Sonic'' games known as Chao.

There's also the strong possibility that Sonichu and Rosechu's children are not representative of the typical Sonee & Rosey Poke-type. In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] went from hatching from an egg to her mature form and the intellectual skills of a fourth grader inside of a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_86 single week!] while [[Punchy]] evolved to his full form the same day, even though he had his tail ripped off. This leaves us to formulate the hypothesis that Sonichu's children are kinda [[retarded|slower than the average]] to evolve in their adult form. Another possibility is that Sandy evolved rapidly because her [[Wild Sonichu|father]] [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|lavished attention on her]], while Cera, Christine and Robbie are left with [[Heather Iglesias|the nanny]] while their parents are forced to fulfill the wishes of [[Christian Weston Chandler|a deranged tyrant]]. Alternatively, Sonees and Rosees evolve more rapidly under stressful situations (see [[Bubbles]] and [[Punchy]]), thereby suggesting [[Wild]]'s attention is a [[Pedofork|lot less wholesome than the comic would lead you to believe]].

==Galleree==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg|JESUS CHIRST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg|[[Pedofork|Notice how Chris draws Rosey with a skirt, but no top...]]
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|[[Pedofork|The card pretty much speaks for itself.]]
Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg
Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg
Image:Demonicrobbie.jpg|[[Audiobooks|GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT FACE]]
Image:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[The Creepy Stare|This image will haunt your soul]].
Image:Gwandpawuvshisgwandchildren.jpg|Gwandpa Chwis wuvs his gwandchildren.
Image:LOLRape.jpg|Chris spends some quality time with his grandkids.
Image:FeedingTime.jpg|A baby Sonee & a baby Rosey feeding off Chris's [[duck]] milk.
Image:Bizarro Chris Sonichu's Offspring.jpg|Bizarro Chris
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Metonic]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"|Sonichu 3 Ep.10]], the first episode to feature Sonees and Roseys, to the chagrin of Sonichu [[Trolls|fans]].
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Characters]]

Sonee & Rosey

2010-07-17T15:27:09Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|thumb|A '''Sonee''' and a '''Rosey'''. Note that Rosey's looking lustfully at Sonee. [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Seriously]].]]

'''Sonees''' and '''Roseys''' are the pre-evolutionary forms of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Their colors usually correspond to their type. Most [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in the comic started out as eggs that fell out of a [[homos|rainbow]] and hatched as Sonees and Roseys.

Technically, baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] never could have existed because they were transformed directly from a Pikachu and Raichu, not Pichu, their pre-evolved form. It's also unconfirmed whether or not the ''[[Hanky-panky|miracle of birth]]'' provides Sonichu offspring with their shoes, bows, and skirts shown. None of the [[Chaotic Combo]], or [[Silvana]], correspond to the "Original Sonee and Rosey", but rather to the prismatic range of the [[Rainbow]]. There's also a continuity in the attire with the "Sonichu/Rosechu" species; "Sonees" are stark-naked with shoes while "Roseys" are wearing dresses. This might be a link with their [[Homos|sexuality]] but Chris, their grandfather, is [[Mailbag 19|unclear on the subject]].

Although Chris has stated that he finds them cute, most ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Trolls|readers]] reacted in disgust when first confronted with these hideously repulsive creatures, and a large consensus has agreed that they are some of the most aggravating characters, their lack of comprehensible (relatively speaking; most Sonichu dialogue is at least in something that resembles [[English]]) speech being a major cause of anger. Their physical appearance is also a source of much disgust, as it is an overload of conventionally "cute" characteristics, done horribly wrong. They look like they're trying too hard to be cute, and it is sickening.

The appearance by [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] in [[A Sonichu Day]] is a particularly grating one, as Chris gives them some of the most retarded dialogue he has ever given, in a despicably twee voice. Their appearance in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], where he uses them to represent younger versions of himself and [[Sarah Hammer]], is also horrific when you realize just how contrived and passive-aggressive it all is.

__NOTOC__
{{clear}}

==Sonee==
{{quote|Sonee is the pre-evolved form of sonichu. He is known to have a lot of [[spunk]] and speed. This cute pokemon packs a lot of [[sex|action]].|Sonee ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He has a lot of spunk and speed, and is quite "cute". He is apparently born with shoes on. Like most other Pokemon, they can only speak gibberish.

==Rosey==
[[Image:SchuComic4Page4.jpg|thumb|The birth of a '''Rosey''' [[Bubbles]], sans skirt.]]

{{quote|Rosey is the pre-evolved form of rosechu. Her [[Pickle|cuteness]] always gets the [[Pedofork|awe of her enemies]]. When she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute.|[[:Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|Rosey Animal Crossing card]]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. According to Chris her so called "cuteness" always gets the awe of her enemies, and when she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute. This last feat is physically impossible, but never mind ''that'', because it offers an [[Pedofork|opportunity]] for panty-shots, that is if they had any, which in fact makes it even worse. It is unclear if Rosey is born with her skirt on, or if it is purchased separately. The Rosey form of [[Bubbles]], for instance (see right), was never born with a skirt.

==Biologee==
An examination of the birthdates of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]] reveals that Rosechus have a gestation period of less than three months. This amount of time would for a normal creature be insufficient for healthy development, which possibly explains why Sonees and Roseys appear [[retarded]] and half-[[Yawning Squirtle|baked all the time]].

However, Sonees and Rosees seem to vary a lot in intelligence. As infants, the Chaotic Combo could only say their own names (which is supposed to be [[Things Chris has ripped off|how Pokemon communicate]]). And the "Original" Sonee and Rosey can only say Goo-Goo, suggesting they start with even less intelligence. However, the Sonichu Children are capable of speaking in complete (albeit mangled) sentences. Hell, Sandy was able to talk right after she was born! This discrepancy in intelligence has been addressed in [[Mailbag 23]] in which Chris states that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cerah, Christine and Robbie]] learned English from their parents and that the Chaotic combo didn't have English speaking guardians, which is a [[lie]] as [[Bubbles]] started speaking English while trying to rescue her mother and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] didn't even have any human guardians. This still doesn't address why Sandy could speak right after being born. Regardless of this, they are all still of inferior intelligence.

It is also worth noting that Sonees and Roseys do not wear the white gloves that Sonichu and Rosechu wear at all times; acquiring the gloves is likely a rite-of-passage. Disturbingly, Sonees and Roseys have rounded stumps rather than hands which gives them the appearance of Thalidomide babies, but knowing Chris, he probably ripped them off from the creatures from the ''Sonic'' games known as Chao.

There's also the strong possibility that Sonichu and Rosechu's children are not representative of the typical Sonee & Rosey Poke-type. In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] went from hatching from an egg to her mature form and the intellectual skills of a fourth grader inside of a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_86 single week!] while [[Punchy]] evolved to his full form the same day, even though he had his tail ripped off. This leaves us to formulate the hypothesis that Sonichu's children are kinda [[retarded|slower than the average]] to evolve in their adult form. Another possibility is that Sandy evolved rapidly because her [[Wild Sonichu|father]] [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|lavished attention on her]], while Cera, Christine and Robbie are left with [[Heather Iglesias|the nanny]] while their parents are forced to fulfill the wishes of [[Christian Weston Chandler|a deranged tyrant]]. Alternatively, Sonees and Rosees evolve more rapidly under stressful situations (see [[Bubbles]] and [[Punchy]]), thereby suggesting [[Wild]] abuses his daughter but puts on a pleasant facade.

==Galleree==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg|JESUS CHIRST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg|[[Pedofork|Notice how Chris draws Rosey with a skirt, but no top...]]
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|[[Pedofork|The card pretty much speaks for itself.]]
Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg
Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg
Image:Demonicrobbie.jpg|[[Audiobooks|GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT FACE]]
Image:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[The Creepy Stare|This image will haunt your soul]].
Image:Gwandpawuvshisgwandchildren.jpg|Gwandpa Chwis wuvs his gwandchildren.
Image:LOLRape.jpg|Chris spends some quality time with his grandkids.
Image:FeedingTime.jpg|A baby Sonee & a baby Rosey feeding off Chris's [[duck]] milk.
Image:Bizarro Chris Sonichu's Offspring.jpg|Bizarro Chris
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Metonic]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"|Sonichu 3 Ep.10]], the first episode to feature Sonees and Roseys, to the chagrin of Sonichu [[Trolls|fans]].
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Characters]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-04-13T12:11:42Z

Supersheep:

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|right|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|right|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a [[Wikipedia:Games Workshop|Games Workshop]]-like Dungeons & Dragons game store that Chris went to every Friday to play ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' It hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as volunteer gym leader. Chris was probably the oldest, at the age of 26. After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris got permabanned from the store by the manager [[Michael Schneider (Game Place)|Michael]] on 28 [[August 2008]].

==Patrons==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]

* [[Megan Schroeder]].
* [[Mimms]], who used to be friendly to Chris and later took the infamous picture.
* [[Lucas]], who posted said picture to 4chan.
* Little [[niggos]]. Chris acted like they wanted to steal from him by hiding his stuff whenever they were nearby.
* [[Niggo|TJ]], a huge black guy (yes, really) who is one of the best players in town. Once contemplated giving the manchild a serious beatdown, but was dissuaded by Chris's craven backpedalling.
* Other nerds.

==Chris's antics==
[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
At the beginning, Chris never cursed. He also wore his Ash Ketchum costume every week, until he could no longer do so due to his weight.

Chris used ridiculous themed decks that never worked in Pokémon and he never used any strategy at all in Yu-Gi-Oh! In tournaments, Chris rarely made it past the first round. In a rare moment when he won, Chris shouted "I'm the level up king!" since that was the theme of his deck. Chris was helped in the tournament by the fact that most of the good players were out of town that week.

Chris was not a regular gym leader; the store owners realized that giving him any authority at all would end in disaster and allowed Chris to sub in only when the regular gym leaders couldn't make it. (Gym leaders are not employees, just people, generally parents, who keep track of the games.) Once, while acting as a gym leader, Chris went to the back room to get something without permission. This caused his first ban from the store for a month. Chris claimed that this incident was the final straw that got him banned forever, but Mimms reported that his final ban was for getting into a shouting match with one of the black kids.

==Emails regarding The Game Place==
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com
To: forgotwhatiknew@gmail.com
Sent: Mon, 5 Nov 2007 2:21:23 PM Eastern Standard Time
Subject: Hey, Anna

I have been recovering from the worst weekend of my life. In a nutshell, explicit fan art freaked me out, then someone else put a copyright symbol on their fan art (giving the impression of Sonichu being theirs), I responded to both offenses appropriately, then I Googled "Sonichu", and I found a page that deficated on my person and character. And the second photo-jpg on there was actually taken at The Game Place last Friday, with me thinkin' the dude was taking a pic of the child I was playing Pokémon TCG with. I had asked the guys at The Game Place to check their servaliance camera footage of the timeframe, so I could possibly learn the identity of the person who took that photo. But the guys could not get it to work; they have to talk to their boss-type person. One of them put things in perspective for me, I calmed down for a while. Then my mother comes in during my peace with a lecture of doing more things around the house; I waited for her to finish, then I bursted out the events in a mouth-running-faster-than-my-brain fashion. Now, she is possibly on a warpath against this dude. A hacking terrorist group, Anonymous, and 4Chan are somehow involved in that page as well.

Chris-chan - Encyclopedia Dramatica

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[sigh]]*

I'm sorry; I'm still recovering from the worst weekend of my life. I'll get back to you with more positive information soon.

Take care; Chris Chan.</div>
<br>
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com
To: [[Megan Schroeder|yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com]]
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 1:23:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time
Subject: Follow up

I have been investigating, in addition to out-of-spite "adding fire to the flame", since I've first found it randomly in that fateful day, November 2, 2007. Please allow me to fill you in. My first major clues of a matching duo were the original date of the document creation, Wednesday, Ocotber 31, 2007, and this .jpg, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan, which was obviously taken on the previous Friday, October 26, 2007. For the week, my family and I were pondering the major suspect; the dude who took that pic, which I distinctly remember seeing the camera flash while I playing a young gentleman in Pokémon TCG. Thus, my family came in and we found that Mimms had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture. Then we've suspected Lucas, but we did not question him at the time. But a more obvious expression reply was found by myself, when Saturday March 8, 2008, at the Gamestop in Forest Lakes, the Midnight release event of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Mimms and I were watching a pair of tournament players brawling; one was playing Donkey Kong. So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing. And today, I looked up 4Chan on Wikipedia.com, http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg, apparently 4Chan is solely a web thing that people can go on and mess around for the attention, with examples of false bombings, hackers on MySpace, and more similar events listed on there. Upon the collected information on this case I've let set on the back-burner for a while, I can only suspect Lucas for being the culpret in putting that page up in the first place, because, seeing how close Mimms and Lucas were, he had as much access to the beforementioned pic from October 26 as Mimms did. Also, I photographically remember the person who took my pic that day being tall and wearing a long coat. I'd like to put Lucas under a spotlight and question him about this whole thing, then put him behind bars for descreation of someone else's character. I'd question him myself, but Mike of the Game Place said after my mother and father questioned Mimms that Friday night, if I were to bring up ANYTHING about that page again, he would kick me out of the Game Place for like a month. If you'd like to talk to Lucas discreetly about the subject, I'd appreciate it for the benefit of my investiga tion.

Megan, I am sorry about this whole mess, and having drawn that drawing, and raging the fire and hurting your feelings and emotions. If I can, not only will I get that drawing off that webpage, but I'll try to take down the whole thing. But I can't do it alone (my mother and father have been letting it set on the back-burner without giving it much thought).

I can only hope you'll forgive me, but no matter what, I still love you as my closest gal-pal.

I hope you feel better soon; Chris Chan.</div>
<br>
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com
To: theprimegamer@comcast.net
Sent: Sat, 12 Jul 2008 3:16 am
Subject: More words to add, since I was typing the earlier message on my PSP...

I've only had a few things to keep me sane, my video games (mostly Guitar Hero), my family, going to church, and the ocassional outtings with my family. Seriously, I really miss my fridays at the Pokémon League.

BTW, Ty, did you get your Playstation 3 yet? If you have, please send me a Friend Request through the PSN; my PSN ID is "Sonichu". How are you on Guitar Hero III's "Raining Blood", and the other songs in that final set? I tell you what, "Raining Blood" is so darn difficult on any difficulty. My Hammer-Ons/Pull-Offs are good, but it is really difficult for me when the notes are so close together in a tight H-O/P-O stream.

But I digress, please send my regards to everyone at the League, especially Megan and John.

Peace;

Christian Chandler.

P.S.

I've sent an apology letter to Michael at the Game Place; I hope that he will have an open heart, accept the apology and allow me back into The Place. Otherwise, if his heart was so dang sealed shut, he would really be showing himself off as the biggest Jerk and potential B-tard.

I'm sorry; I'm still recovering from the worst weekend of my life. I'll get back to you with more positive information soon.

Take care; Chris Chan.</div>

==Unbanning attempt==

Almost 2 years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe, Chris visited the store again; specifically, to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows; Michael refused to revoke the ban, and Chris left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. Whether their involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[Youtube]], the description of which solicits harassing and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees; however, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris' anti-semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possible illegal nature of the recording, it's fairly easy to see why it was pulled.

==Additional items==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

*At some point in The Game Place Pokémon League history, Chris loudly objected to being paired up with "novices". These are ten-year-olds who still managed to beat him frequently.
*There have been emails sent by the person who manages TGP events, probably finally looking for reasons to ditch CWC's high-maintenance [[autism|HFA-ass]].
*Chris reportedly brought in consoles and hogged the store's flat screen TV, angering the manager. Of course, Chris couldn't understand why a manager would be annoyed by a squealing man bogarting his TV for hours to play [[Animal Crossing]] on "da big screen."
*Chris has since been banned from the store for acting inappropriately (such as being a racist prick, personally insulting the manager and getting into arguments with children).

==Sauces==
*[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official Website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-04-13T12:07:41Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie," a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining Honest.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC (21 January 2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, the truth of the game was not revealed until 4 February 2010 where it was revealed to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''. The idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut,"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris. More so, when the alleged "director's cut" was shown on video, the DVD itself clearly had "Director's Cut" scribbled in with a Sharpie, suggesting that Chris altered it in an attempt to back up his lie.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*In an email,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website."

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.<ref>[http://www.pilgrimhall.org/mayfpass.htm A list of all passengers on the Mayflower from a guy who was actually there]</ref>

*He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]]</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an [[Robotnik|IQ of over 300]].<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref> For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later on, he claimed to have an IQ of 150.<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics.}}

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.

*Chris claims he can lift [[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|"well over 100 pounds"]].

*In order to substantiate his claim that [[Asperchu]] is a [[parody]] of himself, Chris would logically be forced to admit their many similarities. However, most of that would involve admitting that Chris is a delusional, self-centered prick. Chris instead opts to note the similarities in their physical appearance. To wit: Asperchu's [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]], and [[Chris and Fashion|striped shirts]]. However, when it comes to Asperchu's rotund figure and obvious man-boobs, Chris admits that he ''used to'' have "manboobs" and a "buddha belly". Obviously, those things should not be described in the [[obesity|past tense]].

*Chris began receiving emails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. As Chris is a 300-IQ-having detail-oriented Pokémon expert, and he drew this Raichu with a pointed tail several times, fans concluded that he must have intended this, and let Chris know they now understand Rosechu started out male, and may still be a trap or hermaphroditic. Panicked that he'd been cornered, but unable to just issue a simple [[retcon]] due to his [[Chris and his ego|crippling ego]], Chris instead made a 22 January post on his [[CWCipedia]] including a doctored picture of the Raichu with the tail now blunted and lied to his readers that it had always been drawn that way since the very beginning. Not only was it obviously photoshopped, but he's such a tremendous idiot that he didn't change the actual comic page showing the pointed tail in his own site's archives. (It should be noted that Chris devised Rosechu's back story before Pokémon introduced the concept of gender specific features; all Raichu were depicted with a pointed tail before 2006. While Chris could have simply made this point, he opted to instead lie to his TRUE and HONEST fans.)

*In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] claiming that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.

*When [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|talking to Alec]], Chris claimed that the [[Basement Rosechus]] were not meant to imply that Alec raped them, only that he allegedly treated them like hamsters. If this were so, why is one of them wearing a bridal gown, and why is one clad in only her undergarments if he was just keeping them as non-sexual pets?

*On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.

*During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|the eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Nintendo simply giving away rights to use one of the most popular characters from one of their biggest cash cows is absolutely ridiculous. Also during the call, Chris made it a point to state very confidently that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns as a valid reason to not sell off any of his games to make some money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly. Even if he played games for 10 hours a day, 30 minutes at a time for each game, he'd only be able to play each game once a month.

*Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10]].

*When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure about making money with Sonichu, if that were true, he would never try to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|videogame]] about Sonichu, nor try to sell it to businesspeople.

*Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and in fact complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].

*Promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].

*While trying to get himself back into the GAMe PLACe, he says to Michael Snyder he's a better person. This is after all the shit he's done in the last year and a half, while secretly recording Michael, and ends the meeting calling Michael a Jew like it's an insult despite previously claiming he had nothing against Jews.

{{quote|I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole 'honesty' thing you keep talking about.|Matthew Devoria - [[Father Call]]}}

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-04-13T12:01:07Z

Supersheep:

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie," a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining Honest.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC (21 January 2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, the truth of the game was not revealed until 4 February 2010 where it was revealed to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''. The idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut,"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris. More so, when the alleged "director's cut" was shown on video, the DVD itself clearly had "Director's Cut" scribbled in with a Sharpie, suggesting that Chris altered it in an attempt to back up his lie.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*In an email,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website."

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.<ref>[http://www.pilgrimhall.org/mayfpass.htm A list of all passengers on the Mayflower from a guy who was actually there]</ref>

*He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]]</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an [[Robotnik|IQ of over 300]].<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref> For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later on, he claimed to have an IQ of 150.<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics.}}

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.

*Chris claims he can lift [[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|"well over 100 pounds"]].

*In order to substantiate his claim that [[Asperchu]] is a [[parody]] of himself, Chris would logically be forced to admit their many similarities. However, most of that would involve admitting that Chris is a delusional, self-centered prick. Chris instead opts to note the similarities in their physical appearance. To wit: Asperchu's [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]], and [[Chris and Fashion|striped shirts]]. However, when it comes to Asperchu's rotund figure and obvious man-boobs, Chris admits that he ''used to'' have "manboobs" and a "buddha belly". Obviously, those things should not be described in the [[obesity|past tense]].

*Chris began receiving emails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. As Chris is a 300-IQ-having detail-oriented Pokémon expert, and he drew this Raichu with a pointed tail several times, fans concluded that he must have intended this, and let Chris know they now understand Rosechu started out male, and may still be a trap or hermaphroditic. Panicked that he'd been cornered, but unable to just issue a simple [[retcon]] due to his [[Chris and his ego|crippling ego]], Chris instead made a 22 January post on his [[CWCipedia]] including a doctored picture of the Raichu with the tail now blunted and lied to his readers that it had always been drawn that way since the very beginning. Not only was it obviously photoshopped, but he's such a tremendous idiot that he didn't change the actual comic page showing the pointed tail in his own site's archives. (It should be noted that Chris devised Rosechu's back story before Pokémon introduced the concept of gender specific features; all Raichu were depicted with a pointed tail before 2006. While Chris could have simply made this point, he opted to instead lie to his TRUE and HONEST fans.)

*In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] claiming that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.

*When [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|talking to Alec]], Chris claimed that the [[Basement Rosechus]] were not meant to imply that Alec raped them, only that he allegedly treated them like hamsters. If this were so, why is one of them wearing a bridal gown, and why is one clad in only her undergarments if he was just keeping them as non-sexual pets?

*On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.

*During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|the eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Nintendo simply giving away rights to use one of the most popular characters from one of their biggest cash cows is absolutely ridiculous. Also during the call, Chris made it a point to state very confidently that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns as a valid reason to not sell off any of his games to make some money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly. Even if he played games for 10 hours a day, 30 minutes at a time for each game, he'd only be able to play each game once a month.

*Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10]].

*When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure about making money with Sonichu, if that were true, he would never try to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|videogame]] about Sonichu, nor try to sell it to businesspeople.

*Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and in fact complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].

*Promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].

*While trying to get himself back into the GAMe PLACe, he says to Michael Snyder he's a better person. This is after all the shit he's done in the last year and a half, while secretly recording Michael, and ends the meeting calling Michael a Jew like it's an insult.

{{quote|I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole 'honesty' thing you keep talking about.|Matthew Devoria - [[Father Call]]}}

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

BILLY MAYS

2010-04-10T01:14:26Z

Supersheep: I was able to slog through it. He didn't die, just failed.

{{quote|NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY.|BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki}}

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|thumb|right|Now cracks a noble heart / goodnight sweet prince / and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|right|Chris desecrated the memory of BILLY MAYS by portraying him with Sonichu on his shirt.]]

'''BILLY MAYS''' (peace be upon him) was a TV advertising man turned Internet [[trolls|troll]], and a true patriot. Provided both epic lulz and wisdom in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#Sonichu]] and on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] during his noble lifetime. He was infamous for his signature ALL CAPS style, and preached daily the Gospel of [[Wikipedia:OxiClean|OxiClean]] and the Big City Slider Station. On [[2009#March|03 March 2009]], Chris under duress by [[Max]], declared BILLY the third mayor of [[CWCville]]; however, his reign was tragically cut short.

In real life he was arch-enemies with [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-YXgFv2IN4 Chef Tony] and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVHUAco_k-g Barry Scott].

==Mayoralty==
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home somkey. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP BEER AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of CWCville deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instated several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating. Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months.

==Death==
On Sunday, 28 June 2009, BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion over in Tampa, Florida, where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash's]] apparent death on 22 May. His family has asked for privacy.

In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. However, a skilled killer would make it ''look'' like it was a "heart attack". As paradoxical as it may seem that Chris succeeds at killing the beloved TRUE and HONEST mayor of CWCville BILLY MAYS despite [[fail|failing]] at everything else, it is reasonable to expect that one would have a heart attack if he were woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a fat autistic manchild who reeks of [[dirty, crapped briefs|feces]], screaming "I AM THE TRUE AND [[Honesty|HONEST]] MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!" while completely nude.

In [[Sonichu 9]], BILLY MAYS [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_92 fails to free Ivy] when she is strangled by elevator wires. The slickness of the walls keeps him from climbing up them to save her. However, the walls of text and general bad writing led to some confusion and the belief that he also died in the comic.

In Chris's [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Character_Bios Biography Page] on the [[CWCipedia]], he lists BILLY MAYS as a "non-cannon" character, despite his appearance in central episodes of Chris's comics.

==Post death==
[[Image:BILLYMAYSPEAKS.jpg|thumb|left|BILLY's message from beyond]]

In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announces the near-completion of the Billy Mays Tower ''[sic]''. That a skyscraper could rise so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many [[CWCville]] residents believe Chris arranged the building of the tower as a way to launder money stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's popularity.

{{People}}
{{CWCipedia|chris=billy_mays}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mays, Billy}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Trolls]]