CWCki - User contributions [en]

File talk:CWC Approved.jpg

2013-07-25T14:55:08Z

Sussuro: Created page with "Just a question - do we know who drew this? This is way beyond Chris' capabilities, obviously...~~~~"

Just a question - do we know who drew this? This is way beyond Chris' capabilities, obviously...[[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 07:55, 25 July 2013 (PDT)

List of Chris's edits to the CWCki

2013-06-09T20:36:09Z

Sussuro: fixed some minor grammar problems, removed an unnecessary reference to an unrelated site and its accompanying link.

[[Image:chrisshotweb.jpg|thumb|right|Summary of the incident.]]
After Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] in [[March 2010]], he [[Cwc_blog#14 March 2010|demanded]] that pages related to his family and [[Gal-Pal]]s be removed, giving two deadlines. Around midnight on [[April 2010|1 April]], past the second deadline, he decided to attack CWCki, signing up as [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]. In true CWC style, his [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|vandalism]] was less than impressive. In fact, due to the fact that he made them on April Fools' Day, many users just assumed that it was an elaborate and lulzy prank on the part of the administrators. But no, it was f'real. Christian's posts were aimed at altering the articles he vandalized to make the CWCki seem to be praising him. As usual Chris's [[Chris and English|tenuous grasp of grammar]] made his edits stand out like a sore thumb. Chris returned under the guise of [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]], making several posts from 5 [[May 2010]] to 13 [[July 2010]]. He later returned as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] in the aftermath of [[28 October 2011]], uploading three pictures of [[Michael Snyder]] on [[November 2011|4 November 2011]].

Although Chris originally demanded that the CWCki's administrators only edit or remove pages related to his friends and family, it is perhaps telling that when he finally set himself to actively vandalizing the site, he ignored those pages, choosing instead to make edits [[Chris and his Ego|glorifying himself]].

Listed below are all of Chris's edits made on both his accounts, unedited by trolls and exactly as he originally wrote them. Exception is made for headings, which in the quoteboxes where Chris put a heading is replaced with '''bold text'''.

==GodofThunderGodofWar==

[[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|All edits]]

===1 April, 12:35===
His first action was to edit the Did You Know? column, removing the majority of the factoids while adding a few of his own, most of which were merely rewrites of existing comments.

{{quotebox|
*...This webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL?
*...that Christian Chandler ALWAYS IS the mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are not to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?
*...that Chris has been recording himself as early as [[10th grade]]?
}}

The following comments however, were left untouched.

{{quotebox|
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Chris]]'s sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris.27s_antics|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[E-Mail My Heart]''?*
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
}}

The unaltered DYK factoids were probably left alone because Chris failed to [[autism|notice the sarcasm]] in the comments and mistook them for compliments. [[Naive|On a troll site]]. It should also be noted that the comment about Pixelblocks was also untouched, save for Chris adding the word "not" in the middle. It was likely he perceived it to be a spelling mistake and decided to correct it, even though the word "neither" instead of "either" later in the sentence makes Chris's edit ''adding'' a mistake instead. The broken "10th grade" link was also caused by Chris, as the original version of this factoid linked to the [[Song of Christian]] instead.

*Altered for this article. This normally links to a [[Youtube]] video, but external links mess with the quotebox.

===1 April, 12:42===
He then changed the Article of the Now from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] to himself.

{{quotebox|
[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|right|200px|lolwut.]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], Honest, Cool and Honest Dude, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[brilliant]] character, starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of most Normal Human Beings; Finding their Meaning of Existence, Their True Love, Their own Self-Character. No One should ever interfere or ever make a mockery of such a tride and true quest to finding HIS own Happiness with his WOMAN who is to be his Wife.

Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter.
}}

This edit is stands as perhaps the most condensed essence of Christian to ever emerge in pseudo-paragraph format. Between the utter butchery of the English language, blatant ego stroking, and unintentional creepiness ("Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter") Christian pretty much manages to sum up what legions of trolls have spent nearly half a decade trying to record for the world. Also note that, while on a website dedicated to trolling him, he still attempts to insert links to other parts of the wiki. In all likelihood, Chris planned to vandalize these elements as well but stopped due to [[stress]]. In the original edit, the link "brilliant" instead linked to the Fail page. Much like the 10th Grade example above, Chris removed this part and created a redlink where there wasn't one before.

===1 April, 12:44===
A couple of minutes after, he made the infamous [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] the Picture of the Now.

{{quotebox|[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|300px|left|lolwut?]]

A recently leaked image shows an illustration by [[Chris]] having [[Sweet, Sweet Sex]] with three young women, including a white one, a black one, and one in-between.Chocolate-Vanilla Swirls!!! YAY! 8D}}

Not much needs saying here. Chris chose the image and added some [[random access humor]]. Why this image? Nobody knows. Also, the red link this time was actually put in entirely by Chris himself, rather than being another unintentional mistake. Why he thought the CWCki would have a page on "Sweet, Sweet Sex" is anyone's guess.

==JenkinsJinkies==

[[Special:Contributions/JenkinsJinkies|All edits]]

===5 May, 01:08===
In his first edit on the new account, Chris commented on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|the hacking]] of the [[PS3]], saying the supposed bug was just an antenna. However, later that day he tore out the antenna anyway, just to be safe.<ref>[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
'''Dude, Really? That's an Antenna'''

I trolled around and found it. http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html --[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 01:08, 5 May 2010 (UTC)}}

===8 May, 03:09 - 03:16===
Chris then turned to the [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]], clarifying that his ''Resistance: Fall of Man'' add-on pack was not bought by the trolls who took over his [[PSN]], but his ''[[Wikipedia:Killzone_2|Killzone 2]]'' pack was.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88589 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> He also said that the ''[[wikipedia:Downfall (film)|Downfall]]'' he bought was a movie, not a video game,<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads&action=historysubmit&diff=88592&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> and removed a slanderous mockery that implied that his [[duck]] was small.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref>

===3 July, 16:02 - 16:25===
Chris created the bizarre [[Coffee Place]] article, quoted below, in which he ranted about [[Amanda]], a part-time [[manajerk]], who wouldn't give Chris a ''[[Wikipedia:The Twilight Saga: Eclipse|The Twilight Saga: Eclipse]]'' Sweepstake token because he only bought a $1.09 ice cream.
{{quotebox|
{{Taxpayermoneynoinclude}}

[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.]]

'''Coffee Anyone?'''

Within this single fast-food joint of the small town of Ruckersville, VA, Bobby goes for a morning coffee and breakfast most days of the week. Sadly, though, on some of those days, along with other seinor citizens who have been going there for years for their own "Early Bird Specials", they get harassed by one or two of the snot-nosed, snooty employees.

One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time [[Manajerks]] who gives her elders the coldest of shoulders. Even with the recent Twilight sweepstakes, one or two of these folks who have enjoyed the Medium Icees for a single dollar and nine cents during their limited-time promotion and received the cups with the game pieces on them, Amanda recently decided that "One Dollar is TOO LITTLE for a Piece of the Sweepstakes Action."

Amanda also really Opens Up for the Black People; she would be most friendly to any of the black people. Uncle Ruckus would really kick the shit out of the bitch for not treating us white people with good kindness and respect. All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her [[china]] in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

'''Amanda'''

Not much else is known about Amanda at the moment, but the seinors have heard that she is a mother of two (probably get a daily butthurt from her every night). She is also assumed to be still married. I feel really sorry for the dude who has put up with that woman for the amount of time they've been married.

'''More Coffee Goodness'''

It has been reported that Chrissy has been sighted there, but no photographs has been taken, aside from the one above, of him inside the restaurant.

Photographic evidence should be sent to cwcsightings(AT)hotmail.com! Also, feel free to show off to everyone around you at the time the fresh Gay Trucker Photographs are taken. Users will be greatly rewarded with [[china]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]]!
}}

This edit was the first time Chris began to make his presence known. All edits under the JenkinsJinkies name were subtle up until this point, where any effort at subtlety ends. Chris made it obvious that it was him right from the start, both from his [[Chris and English|poor spelling]] and his terrible attempt to imitate what he believes [[trolls]] are like; for example, he obviously believes trolls to be [[Chris and race|racist]], so he goes off on a tangent about black people halfway through, and he believes all trolls to have [[Chris and sex|sexual issues]], so he acts like an outright misogynist for the last paragraph. He also tries to use internet slang in his attempt to sound like a troll, such as the word "butthurt", which he somehow manages to [[Honor roll|use as a verb]]. Chris also updated the [[Template:Places|places template]] accordingly to link to his new article.

===3 July, 20:16===
After CWCkians later arrived and saw that some faggot had put up a shitty article with no citations or real evidence of anything happening, they assumed a troll pretending to be Chris, or else a [[slow-in-the-minds|really stupid person]], and put up a deletion template. Chris noticed and leapt to the article's defense on the talk page with this textwall.

{{quotebox|
'''Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama.'''

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Here, Chris established his troll backstory and continued to try and act as close to what he believed a troll to be like as possible, this time playing the part of a [[BlueSpike|sadist]] who hates Chris because he's [[Autism|special]] who was [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|bullied at school]] and had [[Bob Chandler|daddy issues]]. Because that's totally what real trolls are like.

===11 July, 19:43 - 12 July, 08:05===
In response to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] leaving Chris a message on his user talk page, asking him for his details so he could send him his reward for providing them with information, Chris posted this strange rambling.

{{quotebox|
Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

The main focus of the message here seems to be establishing more troll backstory, giving excuses as to why he couldn't give Clyde his details, and dropping as many troll buzzwords as possible, like "[[4-cent_garbage.com|Anon]]" and "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZ]]". He also inquires about the hookers sent to his house by Bryan Bash, likely so he can take advantage of their services to get rid of his hated [[virgin with rage|virginity]]. Also notice how even when he's deep undercover as a Chris-hating troll, he still feels the need to bolster his own [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], claiming to be genuinely afraid of Chris; something no-one other than Chris himself could ever seriously consider anything other than a joke.

When Clyde appropriately pointed out that being afraid of Chris indicated Jenkins was a pussy, Chris replied with:

{{quotebox|
Firstly, I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper. Second, I saw those videos; he is still a curiously impulsive individual. It is people like him that tend to explode in a hidden-potential fury that could be very dangerous. While you may see him as a weak fuck, I see a crazy man who will likely strike at any given moment.

During the time now, I enjoy laughing during his weaker moments, yet I still am concerned in what intelligence and fury lie within him waiting to strike. He may be only waiting and plotting for the day when he may hunt us down, one by one. We can only hope that day will never come.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 07:05, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Again, despite being undercover as a troll, Chris spends time trying to convince [[Clyde Cash]] and the others that he is really [[I AM STRONG|strong]], [[Honor roll|intelligent]] and will [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|probably kill them all]]. Again, things that only Chris could ever seriously believe. Also, add "wild as a serial raper" to the list of memorable Chris-Chan quotes.

===13 July, 22:24===
And of course, where would we be without a little advertising? Even while pretending to be a troll, Chris still [[Chris and his Ego|couldn't resist]] breaking cover yet again to advertise his ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' beta tracks.

{{quotebox|
'''He has his Beta Track Up'''

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

This was Chris's last edit made to the CWCki before he then signed up for [[Trollin Train]], as part of a scheme by Clyde and [[Surfshack Tito]] to trick him into destroying his [[PS3]], a mission ending in [[The MovingForward videos|great success]]. All further JenkinsJinkies dumbfuckery is documented on the [[Trollin Train]] page.

==Christianchandler==

[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler|All edits]]

===4 November, 18:26 - 18:32===

Chris's first action under his third account was to upload three photos of [[Michael Snyder]] taken with his [[Nintendo|3DS]] during the [[28 October 2011]] incident. The first was taken from the interior of [[The GAMe PLACe]], and was put on its CWCki article. The other two were taken from inside [[Son-Chu]] in the parking lot and were added into Snyder's article, one of them replacing an [[:File:2004 merchant of venice 008.jpg|existing image]]. Chris added his own captions, in which he hilariously [[Chris and hypocrisy|mocked]] [[Obesity|Snyder's weight]] and accused him of being a [[Pedofork|child-molesting]] [[Chris_and_religion#Judaism|Jew]].

The photos Chris uploaded are below, Chris's captions included.

<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|"The inside of the PLACe as of October 27, 2011."

File:HNI 0021.JPG|"Look at his "slender" figure."
File:HNI 0022.JPG|"Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile."

</gallery>

===4 November, 18:40 - 18:41===

Chris proceeded to make the second photo the Picture of the Now...

{{quotebox|[[File:HNI_0021.JPG|200px|left]] [[Michael Snyder, in the flesh.]]!|}}

...And subsequently added mentions of all three to [[:Template:Da Update|Da Update]].

{{quotebox|*4 [[November 2011|October]]: [[Michael Snyder]]; up close and personal in three new "HNI" photographs.}}

===4 November 20:02 - 20:03===

Chris returned about 80 minutes later to upload two new pictures. The first is of an [[Anime|anime]] girl named XBOX360ko, apparently a human with all the features of an [[HEXBox|XBOX 360]]. He then replaced the second Snyder photo with a picture of a colorful fox. The bottom-right corner reads [[Chris and copyright|©]] [[Chris and his Ego|ME ME ME ME ME]]. The purposes of both photos are [[Random-access humor|unknown]].

<gallery>
File:481px-360tankx6.jpg
File:Chrisfox.JPG
</gallery>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[CWCki]]
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[Coffee Place]]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Lists]]

28 October 2011

2012-04-06T13:42:57Z

Sussuro: /* Civil suit */

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]
On '''28 October 2011''' - a date which will live in infamy - [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]].

On that fateful Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m.<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos</ref>, [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its [[manajerks|manager]], [[Michael Snyder]]. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the [[CWCki]] in November. A bit of a delay, but it turns out, he and Barb had been [[jerkop|arrested]] and jailed for various offenses (trespassing, assault, and hit & run). Now both have been charged with a Class 5 Felony, which implies "a '''term of imprisonment of not less than one year''' nor more than 10 years, and ... a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref>

Both Chris and Barb were bonded out on 29 October<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref>, with Chris's initial hearing being a week later than Barb's - possibly owing to the extra charge against him. It may also allow for additional information to be gathered about on his record of dealings with Michael Snyder and the GAMe PLACe, and also to consider any [[autism|medical grounds]] that may affect the outcome of any court proceedings against Chris. The Chandlers will be represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates.

This is the first major event that has come to light since the death of [[Bob Chandler]] on 6 [[September 2011]].

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System]. At present we do not have a full account of what happened during the incident and under what circumstances the charges were brought against the pair. However, based on at least one previous incident in [[June 2010]], we can assume a rough outline of events.

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident.
The reason for the lawsuit and what damages are being sought is currently unknown besides that it is related to the 28 October event. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On April 5th, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years.

== Aftermath ==
[[File:Card.PNG|thumb|Chris's only chance.]]

* On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the CWCki, plastering them on the front page as well as Michael's own article, with Chris presumably doing it as a response to the events at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the respective image descriptions, Chris claimed that Snyder molests children and taunted him for his [[obesity]].
{{-}}

In the February Facebook leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colours other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the Game Place a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]], in which Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan Art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Pokémon

2012-02-03T11:43:59Z

Sussuro: Fixed the incorrect plural "Pokémons"

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|thumb|right|OH BOY! SLAM ATTACK, YA'LL!]]
[[File:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|thumb|Chris seeks out a Pikachu.]]
'''''Pokémon''''' is one of [[Nintendo]]'s greatest creations, a Japanese cultural phenomenon that is beloved by children around the world, and a billion dollar multimedia franchise encompassing [[video games]], [[card games]], toys, an [[anime]] series, and much, much more.

It is also beloved by a autistics all over the world and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] happens to be one of them.

==Chris-chan in the ''Pokémon'' World==
Chris, according to the "[[Sonichu]]" article on the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu CWCipedia], sees himself as an official Pokémon gym leader. He claims to have over 387 Pokémon leveled-up to level 100 on his ''Pokémon Diamond'' game, all of them being trained without any kind of cheating or Rare Candies. It's not certain whether this is truth; however, given the fact he owns [[List of Chris's games|every ''Pokémon'' game]] and game system, has no life at all, and has paid off several mortgages in ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', it may very well be true.

As the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon Gym, Chris has a fairly unimaginative team:
:* [[Sonichu]] - A [[Parody|recolor]]
:* [[Anime|Inuyasha]] - A [[Wikipedia:Blaziken|Blaziken]]
:* [[Gregg Mays|Greg]] - A [[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]
:* [[Chris and his Ego|Christina]] - A [[Wikipedia:Sceptile|Sceptile]]
:* [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]] - A [[Wikipedia:Gardevoir|Gardevoir]] (note that Gardevoir is common [[Mass debating|fap]] material for Pokéfags)
:* [[Random-access humor|Bagoner]] - A [[Wikipedia:Salamence|Salamence]]

==Pokémon characters in the ''Sonichu'' universe==
===Pokémon appearing within the comics===
====[[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]]====
[[File:Pika.PNG|thumb|Poor Pikachu - he did not know the horrors fate had in store for him.]]
Transformed into [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. Despite the importance to ''Sonichu'' lore, this is basically the only time a Pikachu appears or is mentioned in the comic. From this point on, it's all just shitty recolors of Chris's first shitty recolor.

====[[Wikipedia:Raichu|Raichu]]====
Transformed into [[Rosechu]] by the [[Rainbow]] in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

====[[Wikipedia:Dragonite|David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite]]====
[[File:DD.PNG|thumb|Kel with her Dragonite.]]
A Dragonite Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]".

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0|issue #0]] (Episodes #2 and #3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter.

====[[Wikipedia:Zapdos|Zapdos]]====
[[Image:Zapdos.jpg|thumb|Zapdos is not amused with Chris's faggotry.]]
An Electric-type [[Pokémon]] and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of [[Black Sonichu]].

====[[Wikipedia:Raikou|Raikou]]====
[[Image:CWCSTRIPES.jpg|thumb|right|Oh the narcissism.]]
Used by Naitsirhc as a getaway ride in the same episode, has stripes that spell out "CWC".

====[[Wikipedia:Venusaur|Venusaur]]====
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects. On the other hand, she may have rightly tried to drop a coconut on his head.

====[[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]]====
[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|left|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu...[[Chris and art|we think.]]]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such. It should be noted that Scyther cannot actually learn the move Razor Leaf in the video games.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild would tell Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "Cut-Sharp" Clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a [[fail|failure]] to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes."<ref name="Sonichu8Page9">[[Sonichu 8]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/a/a1/SchuComic8P14.jpg page 9]</ref>

The [[CWCipedia]] [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild+Sonichu#The_Father_is_Captured article on Wild] gives a slightly different version of the Scyther's capture. In this telling, Wild and the his father were scanning the forest for predators rather than trying to seek revenge on the Charmeleons. When Wild detected poachers, the Scyther went on to attack them but was captured in the process, leading to the same ending in which the other version of the story concluded.

====[[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]====
A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach.<ref name="Sonichu3Page4">[[Sonichu 3]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/e/e9/SchuComic3P4.jpg page 4]</ref> Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason.<ref name="Sonichu3Page4" /> Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.<ref name="Sonichu3Page5">[[Sonichu 3]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/6/62/SchuComic3P5.jpg page 5]</ref>

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic Chris]] has a Swampert in his possession called Greg which he used in his battles against [[Naitsirch]] and [[Kel]].<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia" /> Its male name suggests it is not the same Swampert who raised Bubbles, as the latter is explicitly referred to as a female both in the comic<ref name="Sonichu3Page5" /> and in Bubbles own CWCipedia article.<ref name="Bub cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu Bubbles]</ref>

====[[Wikipedia:Wailord|Boulder-Dropping Whale]]====
[[Image:Boulder_Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder-Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles Rosechu,<ref name="Sonichu3Page4" /> and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention.<ref name="Sonichu3Page5" /> Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.

Chris stated several times <ref name="Bub cpedia" /><ref name="CWCblog">[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu 3 Official Videobook]]</ref> that it is a Wailord, a Pokémon that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Rock_Tomb_%28move%29 Rock Tomb]", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated that Boulder-Dropping Whale had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer.<ref name="CWCblog" /> The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder-Dropping Whale currently resides on the Moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

====[[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]]====
[[Image:Mewtwo.PNG|thumb|right|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first ''Pokémon'' feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers. Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this, though, it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that [[Reldnahc]] had a Mewtwo in his Pokemon team.<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref> It can be assumed that this is the same one, although how this came to pass has never been explained.

====[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]====
[[File:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|A wild [[Barb|Snorlax]] in repose.]]
A Snorlax briefly appeared in Christian's "Backyard Safari" [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1,500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic]] for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops.

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

====[[Wikipedia:Jigglypuff|Jigglypuff]]====
Served as inspiration for [[Jiggliami]], an "original" character created by [[Blanca]]. Appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. A Jigglypuff also made out with Pikachu who would evolve into Sonichu.<ref name="Son cpedia" />

====[[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle]]====
[[File:SchuComic8P82.jpg|thumb|500px|Hello, lawsuit(s).]]

Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Mudkip|Mudkip]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Seadra|Seadra]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Corsola|Corsola]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Octillery|Octillery]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Mantine|Mantine]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Corphish|Corphish]]====
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

====[[Wikipedia:Flaaffy|Flaaffy]]====
Appears as [[Layla Flaaffy]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<ref name="Sonichu9Page7">[[Sonichu 9]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/8/87/SchuComic9P7.jpg page 7]</ref> It should be noted that Layla was not intended at all to be a Pokémon by her [[Ivy|creator]]; Chris merely decided her to be one after she was brought by him into the comics.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref>

====[[Wikipedia:Sneasel|Sneasel]]====
Appears as [[Reginald Sneasel]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<ref name="Sonichu9Page7" />

====[[Wikipedia:Nidoking|Nidoking]]====
Used by Naitsirhc to battle [[Bionic]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<ref name="Sonichu9Page85">[[Sonichu 9]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/0/07/SchuComic9P85.jpg page 85]</ref>

====[[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]]====
After entering the [[Asperchu]] universe in [[Sonichu 10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] learns from its inhabitants that all the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in the Asperchu comics are descended from [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s Ditto and a single Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu10Page57">[[Sonichu 10]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/2d/SchuComic10P57.jpg page 57]</ref>

====[[Wikipedia:Voltorb|Voltorb]]====
Used by Alec Benson Leary to murder [[Simonla Rosechu]] via Explosion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

====[[Wikipedia:Sandslash|Sandslash]]====
[[Simonla]] was raised by two Sandslashes after the egg from which she hatched landed in their cave.<ref name="Simon cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu Simonla]</ref><ref name="Sonichu10Page67">[[Sonichu 10]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/c/c0/SchuComic10P67.jpg page 67]</ref> After Simonla's death, the two Sandslashes are said by [[Magi-Chan]] to have become involved in their granddaughter [[Sandy]]'s training; the Sandslash seen with Sandy in Sonichu 10 is probably one of them.<ref name="Sonichu10Page86">[[Sonichu 10]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/c/cd/SchuComic10P86.jpg page 86]</ref>

====[[Wikipedia:Blaziken|Blaziken]]====

A Blaziken called Inuyasha is mentioned on the CWCipedia as one of the Pokémon in Chris's possesion. It was used by Chris in his battles as a Gym Leader against [[Naitsirch]] and [[Kel]].<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref> It might also be the same Blaziken seen training with [[Sandy]] in [[Sonichu 10]].<ref name="Sonichu10Page86">[[Sonichu 10]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/c/cd/SchuComic10P86.jpg page 86]</ref>

====[[Wikipedia:Meowth|Meowth]]====

A female Meowth called Lilith acts as [[Ivy]]'s bridesmaid in the [[Wedding Comic]].<ref>[[Wedding Comic|Sonichu Special 2]], [[:File:SchuComicSP2P3.jpg|Page 3]]</ref> Her creator is listed by Chris as "Sen-Chan", who would later on be revealed as a friend of Ivy in [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 6: #3|KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] when Chris dedicated to her a viedo featuring a drawing of Lilith (which was probably made by Sen-Chan herself). This drawing would be featured once more in the [[Good Fan Art]] gallery Chris uploaded to the CWCipedia.

===Pokémon not appearing within the comics===

Being an Avant-garde writer with little regards to outdated conventions, Chris ignores the idea of "show don't tell" and often introduces entire plots and characters in his writings rather than in his drawings. Some of the Pokémon who have been revealed in this manner to have participated in the plot of Sonichu include:

*[[Wikipedia:Chansey|Chansey]]/[[Wikipedia:Blissey|Blissey]] - [[Kel]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia as having caught a Chansey during the beginning of her career as a Pokémon trainer.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> It most likely evolved into Kel's Pokémon Stephanie the Blissey.<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charmander]] - Sonichu's CWCipedia biography implies that after he transformed Pokémon trainers caught his Pikachu parents by using a Sandshrew and a Charmander against them.<ref name="Son cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Dratini|Dratini]] - [[Kel]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia as having caught a Dratini during the beginning of her career as a Pokémon trainer.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> It most likely evolved into [[Pokémon#David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite|David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite]].
*[[Wikipedia:Gardevoir|Gardevoir]] - A Gardevoir called Vanessa is mentioned on the CWCipedia as one of the Pokémon in Chris's possesion. It was used by Chris in his battles as a Gym Leader against [[Naitsirch]] and [[Kel]].<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*[[Wikipedia:Geodude, Graveler, and Golem|Geodude/Golem]] - [[Kel]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia as having caught a Geodude during the beginning of her career as a Pokémon trainer.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> It most likely evolved into Kel's Pokémon Lauren the Golem.<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Gyarados|Gyarados]] - A species whose members are mentioned as having threatened the Pichu who would become Rosechu from time to time.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> According to the CWCipedia a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Red_Gyarados Red Gyarados] called Shred is one of the Pokémon in [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]]'s possession.<ref name="Son cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Ho-Oh|Ho-Oh]] - Mentioned on the CWCipedia as one of the Pokémon in [[Naitsirhc]]'s possession.<ref name="Son cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Jolteon|Jolteon]] - According to the Rosechu's CWCipedia article, a Jolteon named Sparks was a part of Chris's Pokémon team during his battle with Kel.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> On Sonichu's CWCipedia article, on the other hand, Sonichu is the sixth member of Chris's team during said battle while Sparks is nowhere mentioned.<ref name="Son cpedia" /> It should be noted that the first [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu&diff=4242&oldid=4241 revision of the article on Sonichu mentioning the battle] was written on [[August 2009]], while the article on Rosechu was written on [[February 2010]]; the inconsistency between the two versions of the story is probably due to one of them being written long after the other.
*[[Wikipedia:Lapras|Lapras]] - [[Kel]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia as having caught a Lapras during the beginning of her career as a Pokémon trainer, which she named Tiffany.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /><ref name="Son cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Luxray|Luxray]] - While he made no appearances in the comics, the CWCipedia states that Rosechu was fathered by a male Luxray and a female Raichu.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> The Luxray's main role in young Rosechu's life appears to have been defending her from enemy Pokémon and teaching her how to do so. In 1996 the Luxray became sick and his Raichu wife decided to stay by his bedside rather than look out for their daughter, giving Pokémon trainers the perfect opportunity to capture her. The Luxray quickly gave up on finding his daughter, who doesn't seem to have given much of a fuck about this whole thing either.
*[[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] - Does not appear in the comics but was obviously Sonichu's and Roeschu's first form. According to the [[CWCipedia]], the Pokémon who would become Sonichu was a Pichu from 1988 until 1994.<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref> Rosechu CWCipedia article states that she was still a Pichu when captured in 1996 and already a Raichu in 1998, the year in which she became Rosechu;<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref> it can therefore be inferred that she evolved into a Pikachu somewhere in between those times.
*[[Wikipedia:Ponyta and Rapidash|Ponyta/Rapidash]] - [[Kel]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia as having caught a Ponyta during the beginning of her career as a Pokémon trainer.<ref name="Ros cpedia" /> It most likely evolved into Kel's Pokémon Ashley the Rapidash.<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Salamence|Salamence]] - A Salamence called Bagoner is mentioned on the CWCipedia as one of the Pokémon in Chris's possesion. It was used by Chris in his battles as a Gym Leader against [[Naitsirch]] and [[Kel]].<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*[[Wikipedia:Sandshrew|Sandshrew]] - Sonichu's CWCipedia biography implies that after he transformed Pokémon trainers caught his Pikachu parents by using a Charmander and a Sandshrew against them.<ref name="Son cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:Sceptile|Sceptile]] - A Sceptile called Christina is mentioned on the CWCipedia as one of the Pokémon in Chris's possesion. It was used by Chris in his battles as a Gym Leader against [[Naitsirch]] and [[Kel]].<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*[[Wikipedia:Tyranitar|Tyranitar]] - A Tyranitar named Dark Bite is mentioned on the CWCipedia as one of the Pokémon in [[Naitsirhc]]'s possession.<ref name="Son cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (252–319)#Vigoroth|Vigoroth]] - A species whose members are mentioned as having threatened the Pichu who would become Rosechu from time to time.<ref name="Ros cpedia" />
*[[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Zangoose|Zangoose]] - A Pokémon trainer working for Professor Oak utilized a Zangoose to capture the Pichu who would become Rosechu.<ref name="Ros cpedia" />

==Plagiarism in ''Sonichu''==
Despite the fact that Chris primarily uses Pokémon in his series, not only is he not above using the characters, he's also not above using various ''ideas'' from the series. Amongst those include:

*In [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Flame the Sunbird]] says that he "[could] use pants."<ref name="Sonichu3Page14">[[Sonichu 3]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/3/37/SchuComic3P14.jpg page 14]</ref> This is ripped off from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The Movie 2000|''Pokémon: The Movie 2000'']] when the Pokémon Slowking, freezing due to the weather changes, wishes for a pair to keep himself warm.
* Despite "not being a Pokémon,"<ref name="Sonichu3Page13">[[Sonichu 3]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/2/2a/SchuComic3P13.jpg page 13]</ref> Flame uses Pokémon attack [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Drill_Peck_%28move%29 Drill Peck] in his one notable appearance.<ref name="Sonichu3Page16">[[Sonichu 3]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/d/de/SchuComic3P16.jpg page 16]</ref> Speculation abounds, but it could be that Chris assumes that "Pokémon rules" apply to all intelligent mystical animals the way anyone with a guitar can pull off solo specials from ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.
* In [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], [[Kacey]]'s sister wears similar clothes to those of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Candice Candice], one of the 4th Generation gym leaders.
* In the biography for [[Rosechu]], it is mentioned that [[Kel]] ended up getting the Pichu who'd become Rosechu because she missed out on getting Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle.<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref> This is a ripoff of how Ash Ketchum got Pikachu, except for the fact that Ash and Pikachu didn't hit it off until Pikachu saw how far Ash would go to protect it.
* In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Sonichu inexplicably knows [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Iron_Tail_%28move%29 Iron Tail], a Steel-type attack, for use on the Rock/Ground-type Liquid (Steel is super effective against Rock).<ref name="Sonichu9Page80">[[Sonichu 9]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/6/67/SchuComic9P80.jpg page 80]</ref> This is stolen, again, from Pikachu, who learned the same move so the writers could let Ash battle Roxanne (and other Rock-types) without breaking the rules of the game and pissing off fans. The difference is that leading up to the battle, an episode was spent to show Pikachu learning the move. It is to be noted that in the video games, Pikachu is able to learn this move through the use of an item.
* Human characters from the Pokémon franchise have also been plagiarized into Sonichu. The most prominent example is [[Giovanni]], the leader of Team Rocket who serves as the main villain in ''[[Sonichu 1|Sonichu #1]]'' and also makes brief appearances in ''[[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]]'' and ''[[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]''. [[Wikipedia:Professor Oak|Professor Oak]] is also mentioned both within the comic<ref name="Sonichu1Page7">[[Sonichu 1]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/images/b/b1/SchuComic1P7.jpg page 7]</ref> and on the CWCipedia<ref name="Son cpedia" /><ref name="Ros cpedia" /> though he is never actually seen.

==See also==
* [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]
* [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|''Pokémon TCG'']]
* [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]
* [[Pokéwalker of Fail]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

File talk:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg

2011-06-10T21:59:00Z

Sussuro:

It's always the little things in Chris's drawing that get me. In this case, it's Lovely's thong straps. Really classy, Chris.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:32, 22 December 2009 (CET)
*It's been pointed out that Lovely looks very much like Chris in drag - could someone do a side by side of Chris and Lovely? Now that I see it, they look very much a like...--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:33, 22 December 2009 (CET)
** Maybe it's Crystal in disguise? --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 14:42, 22 December 2009 (CET) Offtop: when did Comic!Chris get his Pedoglasses on?
*** She kinda looks like how chris drew liquid --[[User:Briscoe|Briscoe]] 3:47 PM, January 8th 2010

You know, I'm female and I'm 5'10", the same height as Chris. It's not that unusual - some women are tall; that doesn't make them "manly". Just saying. Personally, I love Lovely. She makes me laugh. And laugh and laugh. [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 01:58, 10 June 2011 (PDT)
*You're correct, but you might be misunderstanding what the page is saying. I think the author of the description was suggesting that once it is established that she has broad shoulders and no hips, being a bit taller than average is also adding to the masculine effect. So the effect is primarily established by the former attributes, not by her height alone (her being as tall as Chris was the last thing listed, after all). I would suggest editing it if you wanted to clarify, but the page is protected for some reason... [[User:Canister|Canister]] 04:14, 10 June 2011 (PDT)
**Thanks for the informative lecture, but as I indicated, I was "just saying", I didn't particularly have any strong objection to it. You're right, the context does matter, and I will refrain from making such observations in the future (for the record, though, where I come from, 5'10" is a little below average height for adult males). [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 14:59, 10 June 2011 (PDT)

File talk:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg

2011-06-10T08:58:45Z

Sussuro:

Optimus Prime

2011-04-30T18:10:12Z

Sussuro: /* Optimus on CWC */ added a link to the youtube page, for those of us frequently using browsers that don't support the playing of embedded videos.

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.|Optimus Prime, on everything that isn't Chris}}

{{quote|I also see myself as a leader-figure, like Optimus Prime.|Chris<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#More_Information_About_Myself]]</ref>}}

[[Image:SarahDeath.jpg|thumb|300px|right|YOU GOT THE TOUCH! YOU GOT THE POWERRRRR!]]
Despite serving as the legendary commander of the heroic Autobots for over nine million years, '''Optimus Prime''' was depicted as the tractor trailer which savagely murdered [[Sarah Jackson]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. This has led to speculation that Jackson was, in fact, a Decepticon agent, although Prime's actions, regardless of their intent, still make him one of the deadliest and most popular Sonichu villains of all-time.

In spite of this act, Chris remains a fan of Optimus Prime and considers himself just as [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|strong and noble]]. Chris has referenced<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 28 December 2008]]</ref> a story of a boy who locked himself in his room upon seeing Prime's death in the 1986 film "[[Transformers]]: The Movie".<ref>[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/1600-nostalgia-critic-top-11-saddest-moments The Nostalgia Critic - Top 11 Saddest Moments]</ref>
Further, Chris considers Optimus Prime an important symbol of masculinity. When forced to [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|say that he was gay]], Chris held his Optimus Prime toy throughout the video, an act he [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|later explained]] was a nonverbal clue that his gay confession was insincere.

{{quote|I was holding on to my manhood, my straightness by having Optimus Prime in my lap...|Chris, discussing how he was gripping tightly to manhood while he announced his homosexuality}}

In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, it was revealed that Chris carries [[Optimus Prime]] around in his backpack, probably for security. According to field trolls, after making fun of Optimus Chris whispered "I'm sorry Optimus" while placing him back in his bag. Sadly, this incident was not caught on camera, but it does prove Optimus has a stronger hold on Chris than previously thought. The only reason he likely doesn't show up as often in the comic as Chris's other obsessions is likely because, as a mechanical object, he's a bit harder to draw than the [[Chris and Art|amorphous blobs]] that make up the rest of the cast.

 

== Optimus on CWC ==

[[Image:Prime facepalm.jpg|thumb|Chris causes Optimus Prime to question his vow not to take a human life.]]

The possibility that Jackson's death was an unfortunate accident was quickly dispelled when Prime uploaded a scathing [[YouTube]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYy-0OPEczM video], attacking Chris for his years of disturbing behavior, both on and off of the Internet. In particular, he expresses utter disgust at Chris's use of Prime's likeness as an avatar of Chandler's [[Duck|wang]].

<center>{{#ev:youtube|TYy-0OPEczM}}</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Megatron pistol]]
*[[Sarah Jackson]]
*[[Transformers]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Transformers]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Chris and the Internet

2011-02-12T17:28:28Z

Sussuro: Grammar Naziing

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|240px|right|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer program that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]] to communicate with each other; it is said that nearly 2,000,000,000 people are connected to the Internet today.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, egotistical manchild]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in dropping [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] over his videos — including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and the secret name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of [[Honest content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claims that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it is he who has control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who does the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who pay for it.

==Forums and bans==
[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|240px|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]
As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob Chandler|Daddy]]. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without an [[Honest content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why — comments left on his CWCipedia talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article.

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

One notices a pattern in all of this — Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that something in all of those videos was violating the terms of service, uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''four times'' before his DSi was blocked from the service.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|240px|right|This is what Chris means when he says he going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]
As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has its own [[Emcyclopedia Dramatica]] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Flounce article].

Of course, his PS3 is still hooked up to the internet (where he plays videogames, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good. When Chris talks about quitting the internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the Internet.]] Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''fifth'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] — especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

Chris [[100_2357.MOV|finally left the internet]] for good on 22 [[November 2010]]. He was next sighted on [[February 2011|February 8, 2011]], when he posted in an internet forum devoted to [[LittleBigPlanet]]. However, this barely counts as a return to the internet since it's no secret his PS3 is hooked up to the web and he owns a keyboard controller. Chris still has no access to a working computer, so it's unlikely that he's checked emails since the Jackie saga ended.

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

LittleBigPlanet

2010-11-14T07:39:14Z

Sussuro: /* PS3 History Level */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, successful, handsome, wealthy and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s [[Speech impediment|marble-filled mouth]]) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an LBP spokesman, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help people convince that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones.

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the ''LBP'' level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Sonichu|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how videogames work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his [[Sonichu]] levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furore was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make [[Sonichu]]. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS.

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony has, of course, not responded.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of them have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eight times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the Sonichu level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of the PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS|extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|To Jackie, with Love]].

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid- just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]

"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and the mysterious sweetheart [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain electric hedgehog Pokémon. Chris promised a full version, though judging by Chris's previous track record and the fact that Chris's relationship with the Wallflower came to end as a direct result of the release of the level preview, the full level will likely not be completed. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory].

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

LittleBigPlanet

2010-11-14T07:36:33Z

Sussuro: /* PS3 History Level */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, successful, handsome, wealthy and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s [[Speech impediment|marble-filled mouth]]) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an LBP spokesman, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help people convince that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones.

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the ''LBP'' level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Sonichu|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how videogames work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his [[Sonichu]] levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furore was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make [[Sonichu]]. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS.

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony has, of course, not responded.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of them have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eight times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the Sonichu level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of the PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks, so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history; the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS|extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|To Jackie, with Love]].

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid- just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]

"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and the mysterious sweetheart [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain electric hedgehog Pokémon. Chris promised a full version, though judging by Chris's previous track record and the fact that Chris's relationship with the Wallflower came to end as a direct result of the release of the level preview, the full level will likely not be completed. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory].

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

A Hike

2010-10-10T06:34:03Z

Sussuro: /* Transcription */

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello.]]
'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. Top men calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail]
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monticello The Monticello]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''OFF!'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump Cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that my congregation and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a-

''[Jump Cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check it a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump Cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. A really big stick. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. ''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin'. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open. Preferred by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, they know that people go this way in the fork of the road. On their way back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

In just a moment, I'm going to head by to my car. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump Cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==Notes==

While difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 822 feet. In addition, Chris had climbed 40 feet in elevation.

The map also conveys the length of the trail segments we suspect Chris walked. Adding those together and calculating the distance it takes to get to those trails yields a grand total of .59 miles before Chris reaches his 'dead end'.

A Hike

2010-10-10T06:31:12Z

Sussuro: /* Notes */

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello.]]
'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. Top men calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail]
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monticello The Monticello]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''OFF!'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump Cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that my congregation and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a-

''[Jump Cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check it a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump Cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. A really big stick. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. ''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin'. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open. Preferred by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, they know that people go this way in the fork of the road. On their way back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

In just a moment, I'm going to head by to my car. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump Cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==Notes==

While difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 822 feet. In addition, Chris had climbed 40 feet in elevation.

The map also conveys the length of the trail segments we suspect Chris walked. Adding those together and calculating the distance it takes to get to those trails yields a grand total of .59 miles before Chris reaches his 'dead end'.

ECV 00001

2010-10-10T06:28:34Z

Sussuro: /* Transcription */

[[File:CryingIndian.jpg|thumb|Iron Eyes Cody weeps from all that has been lost.]]
[[File:johnredcorn.jpg|thumb|left|John Redcorn does not approve.]]

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like. Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] Move controller and a matching "Navigation Controller", probably to show off his purchase in the delusion that anyone gives a shit. Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they were and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware.]] Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe" style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mum48216-C0}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
''[Chris is wearing his muscle bra with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior, he has his arms crossed over his chest with a Playstation controller in each hand]''

Me noble Cherokee Man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace... peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within Spanish history. Some of it was previously uh translated, was translated, as found on The Wikipedia under the term "Cherokee" C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E.

We were very peaceful, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_of_the_hill I tell ya what.] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as sluts bartered off as slaves to the Virginia and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our witch doctors, which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor_roll|I forgot memorize it.]] Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my father's side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother for she comes from the English clan, but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail Of Tears.

Of which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right... thanks to our guys, slavery has been abolished altogether, including the black slaves. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois]''

Hey, we're with you on this one dude we're with you on this one dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this America and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are orginisations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennesee. More information on this as well as our history on The Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce though. We were very very fierce. But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow]''

==See also==
*[[War Paint Video]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

ECV 00001

2010-10-10T06:19:53Z

Sussuro: /* Transcription */

[[File:CryingIndian.jpg|thumb|Iron Eyes Cody weeps from all that has been lost.]]
[[File:johnredcorn.jpg|thumb|left|John Redcorn does not approve.]]

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like. Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] Move controller and a matching "Navigation Controller", probably to show off his purchase in the delusion that anyone gives a shit. Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they were and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware.]] Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe" style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mum48216-C0}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
''Chris is wearing his muscle bra with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior, he has his arms crossed over his chest with a Playstation controller in each hand.''

Me noble Cherokee Man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace... peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within Spanish history. Some of it was previously uh translated, was translated, as found on The Wikipedia under the term "Cherokee" C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E.

We were very peaceful, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_of_the_hill I tell ya what.] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as sluts bartered off as slaves to the Virginia and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our witch doctors, which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor_roll|I forgot memorize it.]] Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my father's side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother for she comes from the English clan, but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail Of Tears.

Of which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right... thanks to our guys, slavery has been abolished altogether, including the black slaves. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois]''
Hey, we're with you on this one dude we're with you on this one dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this America and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are orginisations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennesee. More information on this as well as our history on The Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce though. We were very very fierce. But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow]''

==See also==
*[[War Paint Video]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

ECV 00001

2010-10-10T06:17:18Z

Sussuro: /* Transcription */

[[File:CryingIndian.jpg|thumb|Iron Eyes Cody weeps from all that has been lost.]]
[[File:johnredcorn.jpg|thumb|left|John Redcorn does not approve.]]

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like. Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] Move controller and a matching "Navigation Controller", probably to show off his purchase in the delusion that anyone gives a shit. Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they were and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware.]] Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe" style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mum48216-C0}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
''[Chris is wearing his muscle bra with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior], he has his arms crossed over his chest with a Playstation controller in each hand''

Me noble Cherokee Man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace... peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within Spanish history. Some of it was previously uh translated, was translated, as found on The Wikipedia under the term "Cherokee" C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E.

We were very peaceful, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_of_the_hill I tell ya what.] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as sluts bartered off as slaves to the Virginia and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our witch doctors, which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor_roll|I forgot memorize it.]] Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my father's side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother for she comes from the English clan, but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail Of Tears.

Of which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right... thanks to our guys, slavery has been abolished altogether, including the black slaves. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois]''
Hey, we're with you on this one dude we're with you on this one dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this America and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are orginisations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennesee. More information on this as well as our history on The Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce though. We were very very fierce. But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow]''

==See also==
*[[War Paint Video]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

Chris and English

2010-10-06T06:26:19Z

Sussuro: /* Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm */ damn prepositions...

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best, especially since his vocabulary is profoundly lacking in the first place.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]], which only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instance." Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but Chris uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====

Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it".

For a more egregious example, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Advertising==

{{Incomplete}}

[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]] contains another good example of a frequently seen Chris trait: statements that sound like word-for-word quotations from advertisements.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this is no exception for Chris, who has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now", rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and English

2010-10-06T06:24:02Z

Sussuro: /* Written language */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best, especially since his vocabulary is profoundly lacking in the first place.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]], which only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instance." Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but Chris uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====

Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it".

For a more egregious example, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Advertising==

{{Incomplete}}

[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]] contains another good example of a frequently seen Chris trait: statements that sound like word-for-word quotations from advertisements.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this is no exception in Chris, who has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now", rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and English

2010-10-06T06:13:47Z

Sussuro: /* Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best, especially since his vocabulary is profoundly lacking in the first place.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]], which only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instance." Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction; Chris uses them to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====

Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it".

For a more egregious example, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Advertising==

{{Incomplete}}

[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]] contains another good example of a frequently seen Chris trait: statements that sound like word-for-word quotations from advertisements.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this is no exception in Chris, who has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now", rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-08-24T06:56:23Z

Sussuro: /* Chris gets the boot */ Yes, I'm being pedantic. I'd do this all at once, but my phone can only work with so much text.

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a comic-book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years, up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the managers, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in Yu-Gi-Oh!. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]], one of the store's managers (he isn't the owner, though he's sometimes mistakenly described as such) would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike," for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for Pokémon games in his old [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual colorful clown shirts and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}} Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store,<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! trading-card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's Pokémon league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting a month, which according to Lucas began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|Universal Fighting System card game]], often playing "bimbo" characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris e-mails: November 2007]]</ref> (Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative.) According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued off and on for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at The GAMe PLACe on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym-leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though — "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "Fiddlesticks" out of Mary Lee Walsh". This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the CWCipedia article for Megan Schroeder, Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref>. Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues and
overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]] he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it]]. This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. In the Jackie emails Chris reveals that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When one of the cashiers saw Chris and recognized him, he threatened to call the cops. Chris got angry and bolted. The next day Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived; whether the police's involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's anti-Semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii incident." Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] entering [[China]].
{{clear}}

==The Charlottesville Incident==

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away but was accosted by Snyder, his daughter and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Chris's parents and the GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early August 2010 reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards the GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believes that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike, and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay, to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Mimms and Lucas) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-08-24T06:50:53Z

Sussuro: /* Chris the TCG gamer */

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a comic-book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years, up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the managers, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in Yu-Gi-Oh!. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]], one of the store's managers (he isn't the owner, though he's sometimes mistakenly described as such) would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike," for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for Pokémon games in his old [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual colorful clown shirts and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}} Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store,<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! trading-card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's Pokémon league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting a month, which according to Lucas began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|Universal Fighting System card game]], often playing "bimbo" characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris e-mails: November 2007]]</ref> (Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative.) According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued off and on for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at The GAMe PLACe on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym-leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though — "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokemon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "Fiddlesticks" out of Mary Lee Walsh". This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the CWCipedia article for Megan Schroeder, Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref>. Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues and
overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]] he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it]]. This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. In the Jackie emails Chris reveals that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When one of the cashiers saw Chris and recognized him, he threatened to call the cops. Chris got angry and bolted. The next day Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived; whether the police's involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's anti-Semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii incident." Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] entering [[China]].
{{clear}}

==The Charlottesville Incident==

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away but was accosted by Snyder, his daughter and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Chris's parents and the GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early August 2010 reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards the GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believes that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike, and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay, to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Mimms and Lucas) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-08-24T06:46:36Z

Sussuro: /* Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe */

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a comic-book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years, up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the managers, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in Yu-Gi-Oh!. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]], one of the store's managers (he isn't the owner, though he's sometimes mistakenly described as such) would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike," for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for Pokémon games in his old [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual colorful clown shirts and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}} Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store,<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh trading-card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's Pokémon league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting a month, which according to Lucas began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|Universal Fighting System card game]], often playing "bimbo" characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris e-mails: November 2007]]</ref> (Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative.) According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued off and on for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at The GAMe PLACe on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym-leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though — "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokemon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "Fiddlesticks" out of Mary Lee Walsh". This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the CWCipedia article for Megan Schroeder, Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref>. Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues and
overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]] he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it]]. This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. In the Jackie emails Chris reveals that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When one of the cashiers saw Chris and recognized him, he threatened to call the cops. Chris got angry and bolted. The next day Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived; whether the police's involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's anti-Semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii incident." Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] entering [[China]].
{{clear}}

==The Charlottesville Incident==

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away but was accosted by Snyder, his daughter and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Chris's parents and the GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early August 2010 reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards the GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believes that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike, and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay, to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Mimms and Lucas) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-08-24T06:41:09Z

Sussuro: /* People of note */

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a comic-book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years, up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the managers, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in Yu-Gi-Oh!. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]], one of the store's managers (he isn't the owner, though he's sometimes mistakenly described as such) would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike," for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for Pokémon games in his old [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual colorful clown shirts and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}} Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store,<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh trading-card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's Pokémon league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting a month, which according to Lucas began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|Universal Fighting System card game]], often playing "bimbo" characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris e-mails: November 2007]]</ref> (Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative.) According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued off and on for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at The GAMe PLACe on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym-leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though — "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokemon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "Fiddlesticks" out of Mary Lee Walsh". This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the CWCipedia article for Megan Schroeder, Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref>. Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues and
overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]] he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it]]. This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. In the Jackie emails Chris reveals that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When one of the cashiers saw Chris and recognized him, he threatened to call the cops. Chris got angry and bolted. The next day Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived; whether the police's involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's anti-Semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii incident." Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] entering [[China]].
{{clear}}

==The Charlottesville Incident==

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away but was accosted by Snyder, his daughter and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Chris's parents and the GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early August 2010 reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards the GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believes that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike, and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay, to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Mimms and Lucas) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Chris and English

2010-08-20T04:37:46Z

Sussuro: /* Literal interpretation */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but he uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparions. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:Chris and English

2010-08-18T08:52:34Z

Sussuro: /* Some technicalities */

there's a difference between a spelling error (geinus or however he's been doing it for the past like what 6 years?) and typo

but i think this could be expanded to a Chris and English page imo [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 21 October 2009 (CEST)
* Good point. --[[User:USAJAP1|USAJAP1]] 21:36, 21 October 2009 (CEST)
:*Chris and English sounds like a good idea to me. The way he talks and writes is unique, to say the least.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:50, 21 October 2009 (CEST)
::*Yeah, especially considering [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|this]]. --[[User:USAJAP1|USAJAP1]] 21:57, 21 October 2009 (CEST)

== Spelling errors ==
Geinus seems to be the main one he's been making for years. Any others? Observe his grammar patterns and other shit and stuff. Yeah. stuff. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 03:53, 22 October 2009 (CEST)
*"Seinor" is one he does consistently. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:00, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

==Autism==
I haven't read the article in full yet but I don't think there's anything noting that awkward speech is usually associated with autism. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:00, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
*It didn't even occur to me. My bad. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:27, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
*Many autistics (at least aspies; you know, the ones whom Chris thinks are not actually autistic) are actually very precise and pendantic about grammar and spelling in a way that is quite unlike Chris. It wasn't for nothing that Hans Asperger called the kids he studied "little professors." --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 03:52, 2 December 2009 (CET)
*Likewise, some of the semantics thing is an autism thing. Like Chris answering "yes" to "Do you listen to music while drawing?" is an autistic thing. It's sorta like on [[Facebook]] when people would message him after he'd request to be their friend with "Do I know you?" and Chris would say something like "I don't know, I can't read your mind." Autistics tend to have very literal thinking and will fail to see the subtlety of a question, in this case "Do I know you?" is the socially accepted way of saying "Typically, people requesting to be my friend are people I know, and I don't know you. Are we connected in any way?" The "pen is mightier than the sword but more permanent than the pencil" is more of a random access humor thing. In fact, the random access humor is partially based in childish verb puns. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:33, 2 December 2009 (CET)
**The literal answers to questions deal is technically known as a lack of linguistic pragmatism. His fairly flat, unnaturally patterned speaking voice is probably a case of aprosodic speech. I'm mentioning it here because I don't think it matters much to the article, so I'm hesitant to add it (especially as my first edit), but there are attempts at technical terminology here and there. [[User:MaybeNever|MaybeNever]] 03:26, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and abstract thinking==
Do you think this could be a "Chris and..." article? There is plenty of evidence that he is NOT an abstract thinker (This would highlight his "Child-like" thinking; children tend be concrete, i.e. literal, in their thinking, Chris is no exception). There's enough evidence of his concrete thinking to make into a separate article. . --[[User:Scarletdragon|Scarletdragon]] 23:21, 2 December, 2009 (CET)
*This is something that could be discussed in the [[autism]] article (and it's already discussed there) since this is really an autism thing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:44, 2 December 2009 (CET)

== Attempts to sound suave and educated ==

I can't really pin it down (I'm not great at literary analysis), but I've noticed that Chris often attempts to sound like, I dunno, a 19th century upper-middle class English writer. For example, in the email describing his detective work regarding the photo taken at the Game Place, he refers to playing a card game with "a young gentleman." I'm too lazy to search for more examples but perhaps you guys know what I mean. I you agree this is a trait, it should be mentioned either here or in the [[Writing]] article. [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 06:51, 6 December 2009 (CET)

==Name change==

This article should probably be renamed Chris and Language. What do you think? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:23, 6 June 2010 (UTC)

== Renaming ==

I love how [[Spanish]] starts out and how it works without it being "Chris and Spanish." Perhaps the same should be done with this? thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:45, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Sarcasm ==

I think we need a better example for Chris' inability to understand sarcasm. Yeah, he missed the fact that Dan Hibiki is a Joke Character, but you have to remember that Chris is woefully behind the times. Dan wasn't in Street Fighter II, which is probably the last Street Fighter game Chris has even heard of. And that's if Chris has even played Street Fighter. Plus, as of Street Fighter IV, Dan is (supposedly) more of a Lethal Joke Character. A better example would be his interview with Screwattack Europe, where it's pretty obvious that the interviewer is mocking him. --[[User:Edrobot|Edrobot]] 03:14, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

==Some technicalities==

Sorry for being pedantic, but there are a billion links back to the CWCki's page on [[Autism]], but (to me, at least), some of the 'This is a characteristic of Autism' (to paraphrase) statements that are tacked onto the ends of some paragraphs seem like they were added shoddily out of necessity, and thus that the "characteristics" were thought up on the spot. I was tempted to add "citation needed" to one that particularly stood out, but resisted the urge. <s>Also, I don't really know how to word it better, but there are two separate sections that deal with the link between concrete thought and Autism directly, could that not be revised, and perhaps somehow merged/better linked with the Sarcasm section?</s> (Oh, I also *ahem* corrected some of the grammar, to explain my edit on the page...) [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 15:17, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
*Well, I did it myself. If anyone can do any better or is disappoint in my attempt, please go ahead and change it.[[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 01:52, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

I have to agree with too many links to autism. it's like some internet meme after everything Chris does that's stupid it's LOL PUT AUTISM LINK HERE. [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 16:48, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== Repetitive language ==

We all know that Chris uses the exact same fucking terms over and over again, be they CWC-neologisms ("[[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]", "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]", "[[TRUE and HONEST]]"... you know the rest) or even actual proper terms ("Slanderous mockeries", "mislabeling", "I do not care for", even "crestfallen"), albeit with some slightly modified definitions. I actually found his repetitive use of the word "crestfallen" particularly interesting, since this is not only surprisingly advanced vocabulary, but Chris hasn't exactly used that many variations of the term. This paradoxically indicates both an advanced AND limited vocabulary. Perhaps this is just Chris trying to sound all-grown-up and [[fail]]ing.

Is this notable, or is this just something for the [[Autism]] bin by virtue of the fact that this is just repetitive autistic behavior? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 03:30, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

:I've had this idea bumping around on my userpage for a long long time. I finally decided to codify it and add it to the page. If this is a crap edit, please revert, but I felt it was worth slipping in.[[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 01:26, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris and English

2010-08-18T08:46:08Z

Sussuro: Fixed some grammar, changed the layout to merge two subsections into a new one for Literal interpretation. Feel free to undo; just an attempt to make it more coherent.

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but he uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence. Chris even uses the semicolon in dialogue where it would normally be considered improper.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to spell words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Literal interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than it's literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparions. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. He fails to elaborate any of his answers, and cannot distinguish the inferred meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Rejected Mailbag

2010-08-14T05:55:26Z

Sussuro: /* Let Me Get Back To You On That */ More quotation marks.

The '''Rejected Mailbag''' is where emails [[Chris]] considers offensive go to [[Death threats|die]]. It is unclear why Chris keeps them—it is assumed he would just take every slanderous email and blast it to [[The Moon]]—but given that everything Chris does in public is centered around his need for constant pity and sympathy, it is possible he keeps them around to show his [[trolls|fanbase]] what he has to put up with in his inbox every day.

For a long time, Chris was surprisingly diligent about making sure all the emails he did not like were appropriately recorded. That all changed on 13 [[December 2009]], in which Chris began attempting to delete emails from the record entirely.

==Rise of the Sub-Mailbags==

One place to dump mail that offended Chris wasn't nearly enough; he needed more.

=== Autism Mailbag ===
A new, cuddlier spin-off of the Rejected Mailbag was launched on December 2nd 2009, to dismiss autism spectrum-related e-mails "because the topic is not in canon with the Sonichu and Rosechu topics." [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Autism_Mailbag Accessible here], it is where Chris will respond to the informed messages of myriad doctors, psychologists and the like who contact him to enlighten him regarding his opinions on "slapdash so-called counterpart [[Aspergers]]."

Chris's completely irrational hatred of Asperger's Syndrome and his explosive responses to letters on the topic entertained the trolls a great deal. It is now unusual for a Mailbag to have fewer than 4 letters about the disorders in question.

===Let Me Get Back To You On That===

'''L'''et me '''G'''et '''B'''ack to you on '''T'''hat, or '''[[homos|LGBT]]''' for short, was the next dumping grounds for rejected letters. It was created on 9 December 2009, and appears to be a place for letters that cause Chris too much [[stress]], but have such undeniably good points that even Chris can't ignore them. The title implies that he intends to get to give them full answers when he's not crashing into slumber. Eventually, Chris's Sysop disposed of the section, moving all the letters into [[Mailbag 29]]. The answers Chris gave to this section were minimal. Chris ignored every e-mail that didn't slather praise on him, and responded to those with any sense of negativity harshly or not at all (i.e. "Whatever").

===Parodies===
Originally a page set up by Chris's Sysop to list all the Sonichu [[Parody|parodies]], Chris started moving mail about parodies of Sonichu here on 13 [[December 2009]]. Then, on 15 December, he proved he wasn't above revisionist history, and moved a letter from over a week ago to the parody mailbag.

== Begging and pleading ==

{{Quote|Please No Longer Include any messages addressing '''Autisim'''''[sic]'' '''or Aspergers''', or any that has even an inkling of '''homosexuality''' in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really [[Family Guy|Grind My Gears]].|Chris, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)|begging his sysop to make it stop]].}}

In correspondence with his Sysop in early December 2009, Chris made it very clear that all the letters about gays and autism were causing too much stress, and that he would like to begin pretending that the only people who write him are the ones that draw him little pictures and kiss his ass. Chris's sysop did not respond to his begging, and continued to let e-mails Chris would obviously deem offensive flow into every new mailbag.

== Gone forever ==

The first instance of Chris rejecting e-mails without recording them anywhere was in [[Mailbag 2]], which had two letters removed. Neither of them were terribly offensive, and it's likely Chris merely forgot to record them. [[Mailbag 17]] was the first instance of Chris intentionally refusing to record a letter, in this case an automatic e-mail, informing him that he had signed up for a [[homo]] newsletter. The idea that Chris merely forgot to move this letter is out of the question, as he also moved three other letters to the Rejected Mailbag in the same evening. Still, the letter was merely a form letter from something a [[troll]] signed him up for, so arguably it's not a very big deal.

[[Mailbag 34]] on the other hand should be granted no such lenience. Chris intentionally deleted two letters from this mailbag, one from the creator of [[Asperchu]], who wished to inform Chris that his new website [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia] was up and running, and one from a group of concerned mothers, who wished to [http://sites.google.com/site/boycottsonichu/ boycott Sonichu]. What makes his actions here particularly reprehensible is the fact that both of the deleted e-mails contained links to the relevant sites, implying that Chris deleted these letters simply to keep his true and honest fanbase from seeing those webpages.

Regardless, it wouldn't matter if Chris didn't keep copies of any rejected e-mails. The [[Wikipedia:MediaWiki|MediaWiki]] software his site runs on saves every change made to page history, meaning that every foolish or selfish move he makes is recorded for all eternity.

==See also==
*[[Chris E-Mails]]
*[[Mailbag#Censorship|Censorship]]

{{Mailbag}}

Rejected Mailbag

2010-08-14T05:51:57Z

Sussuro: /* Autism Mailbag */ Not sure if it was a quote of Chris's, but changed an apostrophe to quotation marks.

The '''Rejected Mailbag''' is where emails [[Chris]] considers offensive go to [[Death threats|die]]. It is unclear why Chris keeps them—it is assumed he would just take every slanderous email and blast it to [[The Moon]]—but given that everything Chris does in public is centered around his need for constant pity and sympathy, it is possible he keeps them around to show his [[trolls|fanbase]] what he has to put up with in his inbox every day.

For a long time, Chris was surprisingly diligent about making sure all the emails he did not like were appropriately recorded. That all changed on 13 [[December 2009]], in which Chris began attempting to delete emails from the record entirely.

==Rise of the Sub-Mailbags==

One place to dump mail that offended Chris wasn't nearly enough; he needed more.

=== Autism Mailbag ===
A new, cuddlier spin-off of the Rejected Mailbag was launched on December 2nd 2009, to dismiss autism spectrum-related e-mails "because the topic is not in canon with the Sonichu and Rosechu topics." [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Autism_Mailbag Accessible here], it is where Chris will respond to the informed messages of myriad doctors, psychologists and the like who contact him to enlighten him regarding his opinions on "slapdash so-called counterpart [[Aspergers]]."

Chris's completely irrational hatred of Asperger's Syndrome and his explosive responses to letters on the topic entertained the trolls a great deal. It is now unusual for a Mailbag to have fewer than 4 letters about the disorders in question.

===Let Me Get Back To You On That===

'''L'''et me '''G'''et '''B'''ack to you on '''T'''hat, or '''[[homos|LGBT]]''' for short, was the next dumping grounds for rejected letters. It was created on 9 December 2009, and appears to be a place for letters that cause Chris too much [[stress]], but have such undeniably good points that even Chris can't ignore them. The title implies that he intends to get to give them full answers when he's not crashing into slumber. Eventually, Chris's Sysop disposed of the section, moving all the letters into [[Mailbag 29]]. The answers Chris gave to this section were minimal. Chris ignored every e-mail that didn't slather praise on him, and responded to those with any sense of negativity harshly or not at all (i.e. Whatever).

===Parodies===
Originally a page set up by Chris's Sysop to list all the Sonichu [[Parody|parodies]], Chris started moving mail about parodies of Sonichu here on 13 [[December 2009]]. Then, on 15 December, he proved he wasn't above revisionist history, and moved a letter from over a week ago to the parody mailbag.

== Begging and pleading ==

{{Quote|Please No Longer Include any messages addressing '''Autisim'''''[sic]'' '''or Aspergers''', or any that has even an inkling of '''homosexuality''' in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really [[Family Guy|Grind My Gears]].|Chris, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)|begging his sysop to make it stop]].}}

In correspondence with his Sysop in early December 2009, Chris made it very clear that all the letters about gays and autism were causing too much stress, and that he would like to begin pretending that the only people who write him are the ones that draw him little pictures and kiss his ass. Chris's sysop did not respond to his begging, and continued to let e-mails Chris would obviously deem offensive flow into every new mailbag.

== Gone forever ==

The first instance of Chris rejecting e-mails without recording them anywhere was in [[Mailbag 2]], which had two letters removed. Neither of them were terribly offensive, and it's likely Chris merely forgot to record them. [[Mailbag 17]] was the first instance of Chris intentionally refusing to record a letter, in this case an automatic e-mail, informing him that he had signed up for a [[homo]] newsletter. The idea that Chris merely forgot to move this letter is out of the question, as he also moved three other letters to the Rejected Mailbag in the same evening. Still, the letter was merely a form letter from something a [[troll]] signed him up for, so arguably it's not a very big deal.

[[Mailbag 34]] on the other hand should be granted no such lenience. Chris intentionally deleted two letters from this mailbag, one from the creator of [[Asperchu]], who wished to inform Chris that his new website [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia] was up and running, and one from a group of concerned mothers, who wished to [http://sites.google.com/site/boycottsonichu/ boycott Sonichu]. What makes his actions here particularly reprehensible is the fact that both of the deleted e-mails contained links to the relevant sites, implying that Chris deleted these letters simply to keep his true and honest fanbase from seeing those webpages.

Regardless, it wouldn't matter if Chris didn't keep copies of any rejected e-mails. The [[Wikipedia:MediaWiki|MediaWiki]] software his site runs on saves every change made to page history, meaning that every foolish or selfish move he makes is recorded for all eternity.

==See also==
*[[Chris E-Mails]]
*[[Mailbag#Censorship|Censorship]]

{{Mailbag}}

Chris and English

2010-08-06T13:08:22Z

Sussuro: /* Television jargon */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but he uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word, and "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor. Much like his life in general, however, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and English

2010-08-06T12:58:52Z

Sussuro: /* Repetition */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but he uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word, and "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump", most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor. Much like his life in general, however, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism — other possibilities include that:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology, and television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and English

2010-08-06T12:39:57Z

Sussuro: /* Written language */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of semicolons, which are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, but he uses to crudely string together two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word, and "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]] sounds [[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases cause Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. Why does he repeat himself so much? It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]], which is likely a factor. Much like his life in general, however, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism. Other possibilities include:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases we collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology, and television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and English

2010-08-06T12:12:26Z

Sussuro: /* Written language */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is. Related is his overuse of a semicolon, used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction; Chris uses it to crudely string two tangentially-related thoughts into a barely coherent sentence.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]," which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. With all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in Word, Firefox, Google, or any of the dozens of other programs that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word, and "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery against the English language, or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]] sounds [[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communications; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrase causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. Why does he repeat himself so much? It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]], and that is likely a factor. Much like his life in general, however, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism. Other possibilities include:
*Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
*Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
*Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones
*Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases we collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology, and television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. ''"For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[sic]."''</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue 3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch.") Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[Audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Sussuro

2010-08-03T21:04:14Z

Sussuro:

== De Sussuro == {{GrammarNazi}}
{{Observer}}

Newfag to the CWCki, I haven't trolled Christian and I don't intend to; however I find reading about how he has been trolled, particularly by himself, profoundly enjoyable. I choose instead to contribute in my very meager way by editing the few spelling and grammar mistakes I find.

=== Just Sayin' ===
*I also consider ''[[Mary Poppins]]'' to be one of my favourite movies.
*I much prefer Uncyclopedia's article on Christian to ED's.
*Linguam Latinam cognovi.

== Stuff I'm up to ==
*Not lurking moar, that is, being a newfag and screwing things up. Feel free to smack me upside the head.
*Looking for audio to transcribe that I can actually download with my shitty internet access (which mostly comprises of my shitty phone). I'd love to help with the [[Mumble]] project, but I may have to put that off for a while.
*Living up to my Grammar Nazi userbox when I can...which sadly isn't very often due to above-mentioned constraints.
*Making my own theories about Chris, and participating uselessly in discussions on other users' pages. I'll get round to writing mine to post on this page when I have time to write something other than translations of languages I don't even know why I'm learning.

Ivy O'Neil

2010-08-02T11:55:46Z

Sussuro: /* Honeymoon */

{{quote|But anyway, Ivy is not a [[troll]]. She is real. She is true. And she is my [[sweetheart]]. We are going to be together in the near future and we are going to have [[sex]]. We're going to lose our virginities to each other... and it's going to be awesome. Ivy is real! We are going to be together! Foreverrr!|[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]}}

[[Image:Ivy.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris-Chan actually believed]]

'''Ivy O'Neil''' (also '''Ivy O' Niel'''[sic] or '''Ivy O'Nial''' [sic]) (born 17 March 1992) was [[Chris]]'s [[sweetheart]] from 25 [[March 2009]] to the first half of [[May 2009]].

Something about Ivy brought out the crazy in Chris to levels rarely seen before or since. The Ivy saga resulted in three ''[[Sonichu Special 1|Sonichu Specials]]'', four music videos, a bunch of weird and creepy non-music videos (including conclusive proof Chris drinks his own [[semen]]), a long awaited [[Tour of Christian's House|tour of his house]], a new [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album]], procuring [[CWC is Angry|The Lost Video]], the emergence of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]] as troll obstacles, images of the new [[Medallion of Fail]] while he's wearing [[butt garments]], and unexpected changes in Chris's behavior. Despite this, many people (notably [[/cwc/|Krapplefags]]) bitch about how Ivy failed and did nothing.

Due to the increase in absurdity of Chris's behavior in this period, there are many fags who thought, and still think, that Ivy is a figment of Chris's imagination.

==Origins==
[[Image:Ivy.png|thumb|left|Image first posted on [[/cwc/]].]]

In [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], Chris gave a shout out to "Avi" and her friend Rachel. These were originally assumed to be code names for [[Emily]] and her friend Stephanie to protect their identities. The next day, Chris edited the video to blow kisses to "Avi".

The video [[CWC's Message for Ivy]] on 20 March confirmed that Chris was actually saying '''"Ivy"''' and that he had already moved onto a new girl the same day he was tricked by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. This video was deleted and so some people did not know about it until four days later.

On 21 March, Ivy was introduced on [[/cwc/]].

==Character==

Ivy is frequently seen with her sidekick [[Layla|Luckett]].

Ivy has crabs. Her pet hermit crabs are named [[Crass and Champ]].

Ivy is a redhead. Chris lowered his standards slightly by allowing her to become a sweetheart (previously, women with red hair were excluded along with blacks and non-[[boyfriend-free girl]]s).

==Honeymoon==
[[Image:Dearest Ivy by Chimerica.jpg|thumb|left|The [[Wedding Comic]] was so sparse other artists had to fill in.]]
On [[2009#April|27 April 2009]], a [[Giant Penis Comic|comic featuring what Chris thinks would be his perfect honeymoon]] was leaked.

In this comic, Chris starts out by presenting himself to Ivy's father, a [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[police]] officer dressed in blue with a real metallic badge. They later go to a "Double-CWC" hotel thought to be in [[CWCville]] (apparently a rip-off of the real Double Tree luxury hotels). They both enter a room with as many as 5 Glade lavender air fresheners, presumably there to mask the stench of his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs| uncontrollable bowels]], all filled with hearts made of rose petals. They promptly start having sex.

During the sex scene, Chris first starts out by pulling off his tuxedo and his dress pants, revealing his trademark striped shirt and medallion. Then he pulls out his ''ludicrously enormous'' [[duck]], as in the size of a ''human leg'' — which mysteriously happens to shrink later to a normal size in order to fit into Ivy's vagina — before they both transform into their fursonas: Ivy into a non-descript [[rosechu (species)|rosechu]], and Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. Once they're done, they both raise their heads in awe and shout "THANK YOU, [[God|GOD]]!".

Afterwards, Chris and Ivy are shown having what Chris thinks of as a fancy dinner: grilled chicken, vegetables, mashed potatoes, and [[Semen|CWC Orange Soda]] served in wine glasses.

Explanations for why he considered such a cheap-ass honeymoon are varied. Some people believe it's due to Chris's good ol' narcissism. Others believe this is because Chris was raised in such a dirty and sloppy household, that stuff most people would consider mundane is very luxurious to him (consider the fact that he's fantasized about taking his first [[dating|date]] to ''[[McDonald's]]''). Others, meanwhile, believe this is because Chris, being the deranged, socially inept manchild that he is, has never been to a fancy restaurant.
{{clear}}

==Break-up==

One of Ivy's main goals was to get Chris to continue working on his comic. However, Chris didn't want to finish it because [[Rocky]] was tipped off and so Chris feared she would break up with him.{{cite}}

Ivy had been planning to break up with Chris for a while, but [[Joshua Martinez]]'s concurrent trolling effort as [[Vanessa Hudgens]] forced her to postpone. When it was suspected that Josh was trolling Chris for cash instead of the lulz, Ivy and her friend told Chris to cancel the check he'd made out for a "special" [[PSP]] from "Vanessa." The attempt to help Chris backfired, as Chris thought he would be [[fail|clever]] if he gave Josh a check he knew was bad, and then kept the PSP, insisting that "Vanessa" would be "upset" if he gave it back to Josh. On top of that, Ivy discovered that Chris had been stealing money from his parents for his [[PSN]].

The $30 check cancellation fee upset Chris's parents so much that they went to the police. [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] decided to mention the trolls and had the police do a background check on Ivy.

She decided to break up with Chris and hung up on him during a phone call. She told Bob they were just friends and that Chris had been harassing her with more than 500 phone calls. Bob probably didn't relay the message to his son, so Chris probably still thinks it's okay to call girls over 20 times a day.<ref>[[Clyde Cash]]</ref>

On the night of 14 [[May 2009|May]], the following was written on Chris's [[ED]] talk page:

{{quote|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler.|Chris, recovering from the crestfallen emotions}}

Chris has since removed all Ivy-related videos from his [[YouTube]] account. Unexpectedly, he went back to searching for girls in the real world, and for a time his [[love quest]] became a [[fuck quest]].

==Death==
[[File:IvysDeath.png|thumb|right|An artist's depiction of Ivy's untimely death.]]

"Ivy" committed suicide by hanging in July 2009 "from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me" according to Chris. He tastelessly uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a belated memorial.

In November 2009, he [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_92 described Ivy's death in a giant wall of text] in [[Sonichu 9|the comic]]. During the PVCC's assault on CWCville, she was apparently trapped in a collapsing elevator, got the cables tangled around her neck, and was strangled to death despite [[BILLY MAYS]]'s best efforts to save her. The page laying all of this out carries a brief dedication: "In memory of [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichu-Girl]], **Ivy O'Niel**".

All this suggested that Chris had forgotten (or willfully blotted out all memory of) the evidence that Ivy was a troll.

{{quote|I love how CWC could have just said she died in an elevator crash, and we all would've gotten it. Like, it exploded, or whatever.

Instead, he has to paint this visual of her being caught in an elevator cable and having her neck snap, hanging in an empty elevator shaft swaying back and forth until someone opens the doors and sees the horrific sight in front of them.

Beautiful. Only an autistic genius could come up with that.|Anonymous Krapplefag on this page}}

==Life after death==
On 19 [[April 2010]], Chris updated the [[CWCipedia]] with a page containing various profiles of his "[[gal-pal]]s and past sweethearts." Among them was a brief and somewhat ambivalent mention of Ivy:

{{quote|Another online romance, but better... with Telephone Conversations. Ivy and I were entwined within our relationship for about 3 months; it was good. Then later on, when I was talking to a detective on the case of finding my Trolls and seeing justice done unto them, he looked into Ivy and her family; found NOTHING on them, even her father who was a Police Officer. Then in a mental quandary and confusion, I stopped talking to Ivy for a few months. She called me one last time after the time; I still felt confused. Then I hear from Vivian that Ivy committed suicide by hanging.|Chris, on the CWCipedia}}

Chris's feelings about Ivy are difficult to interpret. It's possible that he has partially processed and accepted the evidence that she may have been a troll, but still wants to hold out some kind of hope that her feelings for him were sincere.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|OH SHI-! Ivy has been kidnapped by Clyde! IS CHRIS A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HER?
Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|Chris is [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|holding out for an hero]].
Image:CWCsIvyKiss.jpg|"FUCK IT'S [[Episode 2|EPISODE 2]] ALL OVER AGAIN FUCKKKKK" - [[Vivian Gee]] <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB6c5txd8ro#t=2m32s Sonichu - Special Episode 1! The Audiobook! Clyde VS Chris!]</ref>
Image:350meko.jpg|Rape is imminent. On a more serious note: Chris fails at pantyshots.
Image:Ivy Jammies.jpg|Moar original art from Ivy.
Image:IvyRing.jpg|IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME...
Image:IvysRosechu.jpg|Ivy's take on [[Rosechu]].
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg|Ivy's take on [[Bubbles]].
Image:Layla.jpg|Ivy's OC, [[Layla]].
Image:IvyWedding.jpg|If the first thing you noticed was the zapbuds, you are beyond redemption.
Image:Ivypickle.jpg|Even the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Men in the Pickle Suits]] love Ivy.
Image:Princessivy.png|Princess Ivy, Ivy's fursona.
Image:CWC,Ivy,fursona.jpg|Chris-chan Sonichu and Princess Ivy together.
Image:IvyBondage.jpg|Bondage: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!
Image:Cwc&ivy34.jpg|Rule 34 even applies to Chris's heartsweets.
Image:CWCRescuesIvy.jpg
Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|Our heroes mourn Ivy's death, or something like that.
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:O'Neil, Ivy}}

[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Rocky Shoemaker

2010-08-02T11:31:55Z

Sussuro: Added a tiny missing subject to a sentence.

[[Image:shoemaker.jpg|thumb|Rocky Shoemaker]]

[[Image:ivyjesus.jpg|thumb|''[[Ivy]] vs. The Methodist Church''. Coming to a theater near you]]

'''Rochelle "Rocky" Shoemaker''' is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

==Biography==

Rocky used to work in the [http://www.cof-umc.org/index.html Community of Faith United Methodist Church], where she garnered high praise and [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 comparisons with Rocky Balboa]. In the year of Our Lord [[2009]], she brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Saga, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy.

This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - [[Julie]] and [[PandaHalo]] have both incurred her wrath in the past.

The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a [[PSP]]. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops who tried to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing.

In a [[IRC (23 July 2009)|July 2009 IRC Chat]] Chris, believing that he had entered the chat incognito (although the trolls had in fact instantly seen through his false identity), suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky. That's right. Despite the fact that she just might be the only person left with any hope for Chris, he still has fantasies about raping her and then blaming the trolls for making him do it. Rocky herself is aware that Chris said this. That she did not kick him out of the church on the spot speaks volumes about her sanity.

==The ultimate white knight?==
Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]].

Despite saving him from the wiles of Joshua Martinez and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his [[Homos|bigotry]], [[Chris and his Ego|selfishness]], [[Chris and death|total disregard for others]], [[Chris and health|gluttony]], and [[Chris and anger|rage]].

One can usually spot her hand in affairs if Chris begins to display common sense. It is generally believed that she was behind Chris's attempt to quit the internet forever on 21 March 2010, as the video was made on a Sunday. Chris likely meets with her on Thursdays and Sundays, as he suddenly developed basic pattern recognition skills long enough to catch one troll on 29 April and smoke out [[Sydney Contacts|another]] on 1 May (though he may have simply gotten both mixed up with [[Jackie]]).

Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to accept uncritically whatever she says, even though her only qualifications are "big fan of [[GodJesus|Jesus]]."

==Contact info==
{{protip|If you try to contact Rocky, she probably won't listen to you as she gets all sorts of shit from trolls.}}
Rochelle Shoemaker 
315 Ivy Vista Dr. 
[[Charlottesville]], VA 22903 
(434) 244-2898 
(703) 517-2446 
Emails: revrocky48@gmail.com 
revrocky@yahoo.com 

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Shoemaker, Rocky}}
[[Category:People]]

User:Sussuro

2010-07-20T15:19:37Z

Sussuro:

{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Observer}}

Newfag to the CWCki, I haven't trolled Christian and I don't intend to; however I find reading about how he has been trolled, particularly by himself, profoundly enjoyable. I choose instead to contribute in my very meager way by editing the few spelling and grammar mistakes I find.

I also consider ''[[Mary Poppins]]'' one of my favourite movies. Just sayin'.

Talk:Chris and English

2010-07-20T15:17:42Z

Sussuro:

there's a difference between a spelling error (geinus or however he's been doing it for the past like what 6 years?) and typo

but i think this could be expanded to a Chris and English page imo [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 21 October 2009 (CEST)
* Good point. --[[User:USAJAP1|USAJAP1]] 21:36, 21 October 2009 (CEST)
:*Chris and English sounds like a good idea to me. The way he talks and writes is unique, to say the least.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:50, 21 October 2009 (CEST)
::*Yeah, especially considering [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|this]]. --[[User:USAJAP1|USAJAP1]] 21:57, 21 October 2009 (CEST)

== Spelling errors ==
Geinus seems to be the main one he's been making for years. Any others? Observe his grammar patterns and other shit and stuff. Yeah. stuff. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 03:53, 22 October 2009 (CEST)
*"Seinor" is one he does consistently. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:00, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

==Autism==
I haven't read the article in full yet but I don't think there's anything noting that awkward speech is usually associated with autism. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:00, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
*It didn't even occur to me. My bad. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:27, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
*Many autistics (at least aspies; you know, the ones whom Chris thinks are not actually autistic) are actually very precise and pendantic about grammar and spelling in a way that is quite unlike Chris. It wasn't for nothing that Hans Asperger called the kids he studied "little professors." --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 03:52, 2 December 2009 (CET)
*Likewise, some of the semantics thing is an autism thing. Like Chris answering "yes" to "Do you listen to music while drawing?" is an autistic thing. It's sorta like on [[Facebook]] when people would message him after he'd request to be their friend with "Do I know you?" and Chris would say something like "I don't know, I can't read your mind." Autistics tend to have very literal thinking and will fail to see the subtlety of a question, in this case "Do I know you?" is the socially accepted way of saying "Typically, people requesting to be my friend are people I know, and I don't know you. Are we connected in any way?" The "pen is mightier than the sword but more permanent than the pencil" is more of a random access humor thing. In fact, the random access humor is partially based in childish verb puns. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:33, 2 December 2009 (CET)
**The literal answers to questions deal is technically known as a lack of linguistic pragmatism. His fairly flat, unnaturally patterned speaking voice is probably a case of aprosodic speech. I'm mentioning it here because I don't think it matters much to the article, so I'm hesitant to add it (especially as my first edit), but there are attempts at technical terminology here and there. [[User:MaybeNever|MaybeNever]] 03:26, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and abstract thinking==
Do you think this could be a "Chris and..." article? There is plenty of evidence that he is NOT an abstract thinker (This would highlight his "Child-like" thinking; children tend be concrete, i.e. literal, in their thinking, Chris is no exception). There's enough evidence of his concrete thinking to make into a separate article. . --[[User:Scarletdragon|Scarletdragon]] 23:21, 2 December, 2009 (CET)
*This is something that could be discussed in the [[autism]] article (and it's already discussed there) since this is really an autism thing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:44, 2 December 2009 (CET)

== Attempts to sound suave and educated ==

I can't really pin it down (I'm not great at literary analysis), but I've noticed that Chris often attempts to sound like, I dunno, a 19th century upper-middle class English writer. For example, in the email describing his detective work regarding the photo taken at the Game Place, he refers to playing a card game with "a young gentleman." I'm too lazy to search for more examples but perhaps you guys know what I mean. I you agree this is a trait, it should be mentioned either here or in the [[Writing]] article. [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 06:51, 6 December 2009 (CET)

==Name change==

This article should probably be renamed Chris and Language. What do you think? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:23, 6 June 2010 (UTC)

== Renaming ==

I love how [[Spanish]] starts out and how it works without it being "Chris and Spanish." Perhaps the same should be done with this? thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:45, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Sarcasm ==

I think we need a better example for Chris' inability to understand sarcasm. Yeah, he missed the fact that Dan Hibiki is a Joke Character, but you have to remember that Chris is woefully behind the times. Dan wasn't in Street Fighter II, which is probably the last Street Fighter game Chris has even heard of. And that's if Chris has even played Street Fighter. Plus, as of Street Fighter IV, Dan is (supposedly) more of a Lethal Joke Character. A better example would be his interview with Screwattack Europe, where it's pretty obvious that the interviewer is mocking him. --[[User:Edrobot|Edrobot]] 03:14, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

==Some technicalities==

Sorry for being pedantic, but there are a billion links back to the CWCki's page on [[Autism]], but (to me, at least), some of the 'This is a characteristic of Autism' (to paraphrase) statements that are tacked onto the ends of some paragraphs seem like they were added shoddily out of necessity, and thus that the "characteristics" were thought up on the spot. I was tempted to add "citation needed" to one that particularly stood out, but resisted the urge. Also, I don't really know how to word it better, but there are two separate sections that deal with the link between concrete thought and Autism directly, could that not be revised, and perhaps somehow merged/better linked with the Sarcasm section? (Oh, I also *ahem* corrected some of the grammar, to explain my edit on the page...) [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 15:17, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris and English

2010-07-20T14:53:47Z

Sussuro:

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, and that is putting it mildly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]," which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. With all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in Word, Firefox, Google, or any of the dozens of other programs that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery against the English language, or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology, and television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word.

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Borednewb

2010-07-11T17:59:58Z

Sussuro: /* This feels like a psychology forum */ new section

==Unified theory of Chris==

Fistly, I must say I immensely enjoyed your analyses of Chris - thank you for posting them, they've given me a lot more to think about in my own analysis of him.

However, I'm a bit wary of your description of him as a "socially inept wanna-be-manipulative sociopath autistic".

I am admittedly no expert, but from what I understand:

* lack of empathy has been (not intrinsically) linked to Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). (''There is some debate about that, though - I just found [http://www.grasp.org/media/empathy.pdf an article] written by a person with Asperger's about the "myth" of lack of empathy in autistics; wherein the author proposes there is not a general lack of empathy, but rather an inability to react appropriately, due to the inability to correctly interpret and react to social cues.'')

* Manipulative behaviour has also been noted in ASD.

* Even by your own definition, autistic = socially inept

Now, I'm not saying Chris is allowed to use this as justification for his, admittedly, more self-serving behaviours, and I do realise that he's nearly thirty years old and should take more responsibility for his actions (and should have "memorised" more socially acceptable responses by now), but I think all these labels of him as "sociopathic" and "narcissistic" (as I've seen elsewhere on the site), are character flaws that are more in-tie with his autism than anything else and can be rather...harsh, taken out of context.

I also feel he is largely a victim of circumstance - from his parents refusing to "give him over" to the mental health care he needed (needs?) back in 4th grade, to his current lack of normal social interaction, he's never learnt how to respond appropriately by observing other people or by being taught and assisted by a professional (who would know how to work with someone with ASD). I believe his parents' actions and misconceptions (i.e. about mental health care) are largely the cause for Chris's current level of ineptitude. I also somehow doubt the actions of all the trolls are improving his construct for what "normal" social interaction is, but that's another matter.

All in all, I don't believe Chris is exempt from the expectation to behave more appropriately socially merely because he is autistic, but I think the impairments he has due to his autism should be given at least some further consideration.

Not making sense, as usual, I guess (sorry), [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 08:35, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

==My thoughts==
No, I think you're making a fair bit of sense actually, and I enjoyed reading it. I do however disagree that the trolling doesn't help Chris; basically any time Chris puts his foot on anything (Youtube, Flipnote Hatena, anything), he is immediately beset by trolls. They make his existence painful for him to endure, because they know exactly what to do to press his buttons. The trolls force Chris into the real world, which he is doing, which is:

a) A good thing for Chris, ultimately, since people learn only from mistakes and he can't make them if he's a shut-in.
b) A bad thing for the citizens of Charlottesville, since Chris is a cancer that harasses women and aggravates men.

I am of the opinion that keeping Chris flailing around on the internet is a community service. It's basically a prison; he can't hurt anyone there, and the trolls he scream at find his antics only amusing, rather than hurtful. I actually do believe Chris causes a great deal of negativity in his community; his actions at the recent Friday After Five show this (especially with the throwing rocks around). He is mentally ill. He should be removed from his community and be placed into the care of the state. When his parents die, unless there is a massive sea-change in the way he thinks and acts (unlikely), this will almost certainly happen.

Indirectly the trolling helps Chris, but unless they can keep him focused on the Internet, it harms the broader community. I don't want another Wallflower/Megan, although I accept that almost nothing anyone can do can stop it, only minimise the chance of it happening. Considering we've only had one Wallflower to our knowledge since the trolls began trolling, I'd say they're doing a fairly good job so far, but recent events such as his drinking, bar hopping, concert attending (etc) mean that Chris will probably 'strike' again. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 12:45, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

== My Two Cents ==

Chris's autism makes it difficult for him to pick up on social cues. Chris's narcissism makes him think he's better than everybody else. But I think it's the combination of those two aspects that's responsible for his more insane or disturbing antics.

We've all been at points in our lives where we want something, but lack the ability to obtain it. The only way to get whatever it is is to learn how other people did it and follow their lead. A kid going to a new school will learn how to fit in by watching the way the other kids act. If you drag a socially awkward person out clubbing with you a few times, he'll watch other people and figure how they get hot girls to grind them. When we realize our current skills are inadequate, we figure out the proper behavior and imitate it.

Chris's autism makes it difficult for him to pick up on social cues, but I think his narcissism might prevent him from even trying. He goes out to places like Fridays after Five or whatever his preferred bar is, sees people acting and reacting in ways he doesn't quite understand, and says "Fuck it, my idea is better anyways because I'm a genius." Then begins attraction signs, the red string of love, a want woman bra, pelting people with fucking rocks or whatever. His autism makes it hard for him to understand how other people do it, and his egotism makes him convinced he doesn't ''need'' to.

I'm not saying Ronichu is wrong, because Ronichu and I love each other and one day we're gonna to run away together and live in a house by the sea, but getting Chris outside might not good for Chris at all. Chris was out and about for years before ED found out about him and he became shackled to the internet, and all that resulted in was huge loads of attraction signs and other equally unique ways of trying to get girls. Getting Chris off the internet doesn't "help" him, it just changes his location.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:11, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

== This feels like a psychology forum ==

Well, I don't expect Chris to change much anymore, mostly due to his own arrogance, as Beat said, and also because he's just a lost cause all round if you ask me; and I agree that I'd rather read about him making an ass of himself on the internet than him going outside to chase and/or throw rocks at helpless girls - but all I'm saying is that perhaps the trolling could on some level be normalising more reprehensible behaviour for him - if he is even aware of enough to notice something other than that it briefly caused him some pain.

Although a lot of his behaviour is already rather reprehensible, maybe reinforcing that trolling is something people typically do can't particularly be considered "helping". I doubt he'll employ any behaviours he might've learnt from any of his trolls, as that would involve some initiative on his part and doesn't really result in some "reward" for him, and also because he evidently understands that trolling is "bad" (but only when it's against him, one could argue).

But yeah, letting Chris run around wild in the streets of Charlottesville at this point could probably scar several innocent bystanders for life, so him staying locked in his filthy lair is probably the best outcome until he is taken away and institutionalised - especially since alcohol is now a factor. (I hadn't considered that point before, to be honest)

My posts are just my opinion, however, I haven't been following Chris for all that long and I'm only a second year Psych student, so I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about anyways...sorry.

Also, as long as the trolls don't go around forcing shitloads of nudes from him to plaster the CWCki with, I remain neutral as to whether they continue to troll him...I still mostly enjoy his responses to being trolled, at any rate.
[[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 17:59, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Sussuro

2010-07-11T08:43:52Z

Sussuro:

{{Eurofag}}
{{Hikikomori}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Kitty}}
(I changed my opinion after reading more. I dig Skittles too, though...)
{{Lesbian}}
{{Observer}}
{{Virgin with rage}}
{{Weeaboo}}

Newfag to the CWCki, I haven't trolled Christian and I don't intend to; however I find reading about how he has been trolled, particularly by himself, profoundly enjoyable. I choose instead to contribute in my very meager way by editing the few spelling and grammar mistakes I find.

I also consider ''[[Mary Poppins]]'' one of my favourite movies. Just sayin'.

User talk:Borednewb

2010-07-11T08:35:40Z

Sussuro: Created page with '==Unified theory of Chris== Fistly, I must say I immensely enjoyed your analyses of Chris - thank you for posting them, they've given me a lot more to think about in my own anal…'

User talk:Apostrophe

2010-07-10T10:42:51Z

Sussuro: /* Emphasis */

{{welcome|Champthom}}
Also, thanks for reminding me, I need to start the Grammar Nazi project. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:37, 1 December 2009 (CET)

==Linking Chris's name==
I think in general, things should be linked at least once per section (on first mention), even if it's multiple times in an article. I use to subscribe to the school of thought that once per article would suffice but I think in a case where a subsection of an article was linked directly, the user shouldn't be made to scroll up to find an article on a topic if it'll clarify something. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:05, 3 December 2009 (CET)

==Why did you delete the line, "Chris misses the irony that ass meat is exactly what he eats every time he drives to McDonalds."?==

You said "let's not compromise the facts here", but isn't it well known that round steaks are popularly used as hamburger meat? McDonald's beef contains a variety of things and I imagine that round steak is one of the less nasty parts of the equation. --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 02:12, 6 December 2009 (CET)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a3/BeefCutChuck.svg/511px-BeefCutChuck.svg.png
How is the part labeled "Round" (or at least the part of the round closest to the tail) not the ass? I am genuinely curious. --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 03:03, 6 December 2009 (CET)

==Red links==
Red links aren't exactly a bad thing, FYI. If there's a red link, make it a blue link by making it into something if it's notable enough to be its own article. Or, if it's a category, see if there's an existing category. You categorized a BlueSpike chat under [[:Category:BlueSpike]] which seems to be restricted to fan art of BlueSpike, while you could have placed it in [[:Category:PSN Chats]]. However, to be fair, PSN chats should be a subcategory of BlueSpike because, at least at the moment, all of the PSN chats are with BlueSpike. Anyways, back to red links, there's some option where if you don't like seeing red links, it'll just show a little question mark of the end of the word. Yeah.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:09, 11 December 2009 (CET)

==Hey, Boss==
Well, boss, I'm ready to round up all the bad articles from the ghettos and put them to work in grammaticalization camps. Where do you want me to start? Give me an assignment! I'm ready for it. I'm ready, boss. Put me in! --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 23:45, 11 December 2009 (CET)
*Something has suddenly come to my attention.... Shouldn't we be putting the titles of these works also into their proper... format? Like a book or DVD having its mention in the article italicized, and, more dauntingly, having quotes around the titles of all the of the YouTube videos? --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 01:28, 12 December 2009 (CET)
:*Oh, and two more things: a. Some titles are being written as "[number] [given title]", whereas others are just the number or given title or ' "[given title]" (officially known as "[number]")'. What format should we be using that? b. Also, what's our policy on the annotations in transcripts? You know, the "[''pissing my pants'']" things. It's usually been policy to have them italicized, but the thing that really gets me about them is whether or not to capitalize the first letter in them, and if so, in what situations to do so. I always just leave the first letter lowercase (unless it's a proper noun). What are your feelings on how to handle these evil specks of Satanspawn? --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 02:01, 12 December 2009 (CET)

==Species==

Ugh... a matter of confusion, master. We have Sonichu and Rosechu... and then we have the species of each. Are they be written "Sonichu"/"Rosechu", or are they "sonichu/rosechu" (and similarly with Sonees/sonees and Roseys/roseys)? There seems to be two different forms floating around; there's one that's capitalized and another that isn't. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 05:25, 13 December 2009 (CET)

==Death of the strikethrough==

Are we commiting genocide against the strikethrough? If yes, I'll join you, Liquid Chris for one, has not been purged. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:37, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
*Did it anyway. There we go. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
*We should probably draw up a hitlist of things like [[Lie]] and [[Fail]] to sort out.
--[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:52, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

==Mumble 2==

Good work on Mumble 2 there Apostrophe! Article is looking much better. Was it you who wikified the summary as well? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:49, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

==It's been a while==

Where have you been? Not seen you in a while. CWCki has been missing you! --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:40, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

==Hey==

Your dedication to the elimination of poor grammar, red links, and strikethroughs is inspiring. Keep it up! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 15:42, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Emphasis ==

What would you say is a better way to add emphasis? Capitals are used quite often, as in the "Description" section on [[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], but I'd tend to rather italicise. What is more appropriate? [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 10:42, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, forgot to sign... [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 10:42, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Apostrophe

2010-07-10T10:41:33Z

Sussuro: /* Emphasis */ new section

Talk:ClydeGoingOnGregg1

2010-07-10T10:36:45Z

Sussuro:

==For non-Americunts==
I'm guessing this is an American thing because only in America would stickers of a young boy peeing on a Ford logo be a sensation but - if you're wondering where Chris got that image, it's Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) peeing. In the mid-90s, these were a huge thing, usually with rednecks, like with Calvin peeing on the Ford logo which they'd place on their Chevy pickup truck rear window or Calvin peeing on a Chevy logo. I think it reached its peak in the late 90s when I remember an Internet thread complaining about a guy who sold stickers of Calvin peeing on the NAACP (he defended himself by saying he also had stickers of Calvin peeing on the KKK and "I just sell the stuff").

Could someone doublecheck the "unnecessary" quotation marks around "Gregg Mays"? I forget if that was part of the style of the stickers or part of Chris's fail. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:54, 28 October 2009 (CET)

* They usually don't have quotes around whatever they're peeing on, if it's just text instead of a proper logo. [[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:45, 28 October 2009 (CET)

* I took it to mean that Chris was demonstrating that he now knows that Clyde Cash is real, whereas "Gregg Mays" is fake - merely a mask that Clyde sometimes hides behind. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:36, 29 October 2009 (CET)

Changed "panel" to "parody" - as the peeing wasn't canon. Apologies for being pedantic, but...poor Bill Watterson. [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 10:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

ClydeGoingOnGregg1

2010-07-10T10:34:30Z

Sussuro:

[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]] is the first of [[Chris]]'s many planned threats against [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays]], where he threatens to [[Fail|blackmail]] Clyde by revealing aspects of his personal life on 27 [[October 2009]]. The only evidence in this first video is a low-res picture of a man's head. Note that Chris seriously believes he's playing with fire, and thinks that trolls will instantly turn upon their [[Clyde Cash|Glorious Leader]] simply by seeing an undecipherable picture of his head shopped onto a Calvin and Hobbes [[parody]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name=ClydeGoingOnGregg1
| image = {{#ev:youtube|xSCCfXFWM18}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 27 October 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance style={{Smug|text}}
| Saga = {{Clyde}} Clyde Saga
| Other = {{Audio}} Audio
| previous = [[To_Clyde_Gregg#Another_One_for_Clyde_Gregg| Another One for Clyde Gregg]]
| next = [[For Chris II]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[Image of low res-head of some white guy, shopped onto the famous image of Calvin (of ''Calvin and Hobbes'') peeing is held up to the camera.]

[[Trolls]] of the internet. Remember this, as this is the face of your supposed leader: Clyde Cash. Now this is just a small [[Speech Impediment|foretaste]] of the beginning of his downfall. There is more to this though... Photoshopped picture, than meets the eye. For every day he does not upload a good satisfactory video, with the promise, and his tell-all details, I will reveal more and more of this. And the- more and more of the background Until it is fully- until it is fully exposed.

So there. Clyde, you have another 12... 24 hours.

==Description==
Clyde's FIRST ATTEMPT WAS SHORT, LAME and NOT SATISFACTORY. HE WORE A PAPER MASK; HE spoke too fast to comprehend.

HE IS WEAK AND FEEBLE.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Clyde Gregg]]|nextlink=[[For Chris II]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Animal Crossing Documentary

2010-07-08T20:48:47Z

Sussuro:

[[Chris]]’s hour-long "'''[[Animal Crossing]] Documentary'''" is a video featured on his [[DVD]], where you can watch him reach the peak of his maturity.

==Analysis==
The video offers tours of two different towns saved on two different memory cards. The town of [[Cwcville]] is home to [[Sonichu]], who wears a Sonichu outfit. The town of Cwc City is home to [[Crystal]], who wears a [[Rosechu]] outfit.

Some of the narration centers around Chris complaining to [[Nintendo]] about his many personal problems. He [[Chris and his ego|expects]] the company to remember his [[fan]] letters regarding his dreams. He also implies that the company should send him [[Chris and reality|birthday presents]], reissue trading cards that went out of print so Chris can collect them, and adopt his fan characters as official [[Pokémon]]. He also expresses his distaste for [[Sony|the PlayStation and the PS2]], but speaks fondly of many obsolete consoles he owns that weren't made by Nintendo. He also mentions he dislikes a [[Wikipedia:Beyblade: Super Tournament Battle|Beyblade]] game because it's "[[Chris and reality|not real]]" which is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|disturbing]] in retrospect.

The [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]' debut album is featured prominently, as Chris sings several of the songs aloud and has the CD on repeat playing quietly in the background. [[Yellow is a Mellow Color]] plays at least three times in the span of an hour. He also sings along to parts of the game. Much like the boatman Charon ferried the souls of the damned to Hades, a character shuttles Sonichu across a river while Chris sings in the voice that got him fired from [[Wendy's]]. The singing becomes high-pitched gibberish after two stanzas.

There are a few odd moments, like where Chris compares two fighting insects to ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', says a [[Niggos|dark-skinned]] hippopotamus reminds him of [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|Sanford and Son]], and talks about his strained relationship with his father. Chris also doesn't mention the [[Wikipedia:Joy to the World (Hoyt Axton song)|bullfrog character named Jeremiah]], showing his ignorance of popular [[music]] outside of crappy 90's pop music. Also he will gladly pull weeds in this game but not in [[Father Call|real life]].

Chris mentions "profit" from selling in-game items over and over again. This in no way involves real money and is just Chris selling easily-found items dropped by the game to purchase more furniture and crap, which he finds validating. Chris probably enjoys the game because it showers him with rewards for completing simple tasks, none of which are challenging or stressful.

This is Chris at his most infantile, immersing himself in a game full of soft animal characters with no conflict or challenge, telling jokes that [[Random access humor|aren't really jokes]] and singing horrible songs in a horrible voice.

==Video==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name=Animal Crossing Documentary
| image = {{#ev:googlevideo|-4734277862198455846}}
| Stardate = 22nd [[November 2003]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}, {{Website|text}}
| Other = {{Direct Feed|text}}, {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[The City of Cwicville Tour!#Watch|The City of Cwicville Tour]]
| next = [[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 1|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
}}</center>

===Outline===

{| class="wikitable"
| 00:01-01:24 || Introduction
|-
| 01:25-19:39 || Tour of Cwcville (part 1 of 2)
|-
| 19:40-25:19 || Trip to Cwcville Island
|-
| 25:20-35:24 || Tour of Cwcville (part 2 of 2)
|-
| 35:25-36:44 || Interlude
|-
| 36:45-52:39 || Tour of Cwc City
|-
| 52:40-53:39 || Interlude
|-
| 53:40-55:54 || Conclusion
|}

==Transcription==

'''Introduction'''

[Gamecube startup screen with Chris singing along]

[[[Nintendo]] screen with Chris saying "Nintendo"]

[00:24]

Hello [[Nintendo]]! Welcome to my ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston chandler. I live in [[Ruckersville]], Virginia and I is [''sic''] 21 years old and I play because I am young at heart. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my city...in ''Animal Crossing''.

[''Goes to main menu'']

[00:48]

The city's name is CWCville. See, those are my initials CWC. That's why it is spelled that way.

[''Picking menu options'']

[01:01]

And my character's name is Sonichu. You may remember him from, ahh, previous letters I have sent to you guys in the past.

[01:10]

[''Game starts to load town'']

Anyway we are going to get set up now. [''Chris starts singing'']

[''Game is done loading'']

We usually do have a good time.

[1:25]

So anyway, stepping out is my character [[Sonichu]]. He's wearing the [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] with the character on it. Like I said you might remember his face. And there's his actual face.

[''Shows a sign with the face of Sonichu on it'']

You remember the rest of his body you see the whole picture.

And before we get to the daily routines I'm goin' let you...I'm goin' to take you on a tour of my [[house]] as well as uh, as well as you know, uh, a daily routine. We'll take a tour of the town, but first the house. You see this logo here, that is the logo to [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my website on the internet]]. If you would like to visit, here is the address. I'm going to leave it up for a few seconds.

[''Shows the address to his website for a few seconds'']

[2:02]

Alright, that's enough. Now we're gonna take a [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of my house]].

Turn on the light so you can see better. This is my first floor, obviously. I keep things well organized. I got enough room to walk around in; I can even do a dance, wanna see me do I bit?

[''Chris begins to sing'']

[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Yellow is a mellow color]] 
Yes it is a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps a lightning 
EEEEEHHHHH mellow color 

[''Chris stops singing'']

Yeah. Course...a...when I...a... do a dance. I usually like to have my uh...audience.

[''Chris puts a wallpaper up on his house, resembling wrestling fans who just witnessed a Stone Cold Stunner.'']

Dodedododododoo. But since it's getting close to [[Christmas]], I have the snowflakes on the wall instead. And I keep it in this closet. So anyway here's a fun thing. This snowman he teach me how to play piano. And by the way just to let you know in case...a...you can hear the...a...music in the background.

[''Chris appears to be playing [[So Need A Cute Girl]]'']

Those are my karaoke numbers that I actually ma...that I actually made up lyrics to, and I have played and, uh, sang my voice over the originals. So let me give you an example; may I Mister Snowman? "Please go right ahead!" Alright.

[''Chris begins to sing again while Sonichu bangs on the piano'']

[[Dirty_crapped_briefs|Tell me why]] 
I'm stuck as a 
[[Virgin with Rage]]? 
[[Semen#Recycling|Tell me why]] 
I so need a 
Cute Girl my age 
[[Medallions_of_Fail|Tell me why]] 
I never wanna 
Hear you say 
I have a boyfriend!

[''Chris stops singing'']

And that was inspired by a [[Love Quest|real thing]]. By the way that's your website...that is your website isn't it? Nintendo.com, it's a nice place to visit; but we cannot live there. Which brings us up to our next subject...

[''A calendar of November appears on the screen'']

...the [[diary]]. You guys did a good job of it going back and forth within a 12 month radius. By the way, this is my birthday, right here my actual birthday, I was born in 1982. You guys...in case you want to take a note there. OK, that's long enough. So anyway uh, it does make a...not only does it work for a calendar, but it makes for a good monthly journal. As for a monthly journal entry here in November.

[''Chris begins to scroll up and down his journal entry'']

Yeah I tried to get a girlfriend because, I don't have a girlfriend. But I have made up a poem, let you guys read it.

{{quotebox|My dreams of getting a girlfriend was crushed by the medeling [''sic''] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh|"Mary Lee Walsh."]] 
Christian Chandler. 
November 4, 2003 
Saddest Heart in the World 
Lonesome and sad, lonesome and sad, the "Mastermind" is very bad. In efforts of getting a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free gal]], that female dog took my only idea for a fall. Heart-broken, sad and very lonely, I'll never remove my virginity. And with Backstreet Boys' tune, I sing my lonesome croon: "Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage. Tell me why, I so need a...}}

All right. Scroll down a little bit as we go along.

''...cute girl my age. Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say 'I have a boyfriend.'" And so, deep in dreary thought, a girl was what I sought. A stitch in time, will never remove my...''

It's a very good pro...poem, because I am an artist, as well as a poet. I make a rhyme every time.

''...crying rhyme. I may be destined for loneliness forever, fate is to blame...whatever. I conclude this cry, to say that as long as there are no matching girls, my happiness well runs dry.''

Anyway that's my poem, but in case...a, you didn't notice here. Look right here, "Tell me why, I'm stuck as a virgin with rage." I put my song lyric in here because it was inspired; because I do not have a girlfriend. You know why, cause I have a [[Noviophobia|phobia]] that every girl I talk to she already has a boyfriend.

Right. So anyway moving on with the tour of my house. As you can see I've got- I'm collecting the NES games. I've got most of them down here, and I've got a couple upstairs. One of 'em's fake you know which one I'm talking about, does April 1st strike a bell? So my favorite game is right here.

[''"Would you like to play 
[[Fail|DK Jr MATH?]]"'']

I like it because...a, it really challenges the mind in the math area and gets your memory fresh there. And by the way notice the two logos here?

[''Chris is making a motion towards the GameCube and N64 logos'']

It's a good way to welcome the guests, that come into your house. Ol' Nintendo 64 on the left, and GameCube on the right, caught them before an after deal. Oh and look at this, a good little south feng shui here. Of course makes for a good welcome mat. Speaking of feng shui, I've got my red items against the east side. And helps of getting more NES games; specially that Wario's Woods. By the way, how the heck do you get that game anyway? I mean all you tell us do to is to go to Animal Island. And then what the heck do we do? You should have given us more details, back in the previous issue of uh, the Crossing Guardian.

Speaking of which I've been a long time subscriber. So therefore I've got all their previous issues. And I time travel back and forth when I start ''Animal Crossing'' to collect a few items, but in respect to uh...time traveling back because I missed a few items, I made a new character named "Tim Timetale" and, uh, he time-traveled back and got the remaining items, give them to me, as well as the other character I made up, and, uh, the, uh, the other city in Slot B, which, uh, I'll tell you about that later.

[6:45]

[''Character walks up stairs to the second floor of house'']

Anyway, we're going upstairs. This is my [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. It's a lot of fun, isn't it, because I like to make things fun since, you know, I'm young at heart. And here's a fun joke. Turn on the [[TV]] sit down and watch TV while I wait t-to get on the [[Internet]]. It's a good way to kill time anyway. Anyway, here's the fake [''brings up caption for the April Fool's NES game, Super Tortimer'']. Sound familiar? Right [''[[sigh|sighs]]'']. Anyway, this is my bed. The harvest bed. Nice choice, isn't it? I'm going to take a quick nap.

[7:17]

[''Character lays down on bed while Chris makes snoring noises too close to the microphone'']

OK. Nap's over. All right. You want to see my music collection? [''Brings up music menu''] It's all good. I got them all courtesy of K.K. Slider. Well, of course, the first one was a freebie from the e-Reader card. "Swipe, Swipe, Swipe". Anyway, here's the fan and the Mario Brothers stuff. Oh, and uh you notice what time it is? It's 1:15. Good time to start. In the afternoon.

[7:48]

[''Character walks down stairs to first floor of house'']

Anyway, now we're going down to the basement.

[''Character walks down stairs to the basement of house'']

Let me just turn on the lights. I keep my models down here. It's a nice little aero fa [sic] models, and I leave enough room for me to walk around in. Well. That's a cute joke.

''"Hey. Stop. You're under arrest."'' 
''"What for?"'' 
''"For, uh, being the black market, you red fox.''" 
''"Ah, geez."'' ''

And I got both houses. Yeah, I scored that high with the HRA. Notice this train? I wonder where it's headed to. It's probably headed over to the memory card in Slot B. I'll tell you about that city later. Anyway. This is where I do my cooking. If, uh, if you can ever do your cooking in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube. I have that DVD. And this is the fridge. I could store my food in there, but I can't. What? Does it have a padlock on it or something? Oh, look. Here's my phone. Let's make a phone call. [''Pulls up phone menu, calling the Dial-a-Psychic''] Hello? Thank you. Good advice. Hey. Let's have a seat on this thing. I like this thing. Listen to this. [''Character sits on the couch and it makes a fart noise'']. Let me do that again. [''Character again jumps on the couch as it makes a fart noise''] One more time. [''Character again jumps on couch with predictable results''] OK. That's enough. Too much fun and [[Lie|you'll die laughing]].

[9:04]

[''Character walks up stairs to first floor of house'']

So anyway. That's my house. Let me just turn off the lights before I leave.

[''Character walks out the front door of house'']

Alright, now where going to go through my daily routines. As well as a tour of the town.

[''Pause menu pops up'']

You notice I've got an empty inventory. And by the way, here's a good rule of thumb. Keeping my shovel, net, pole, axe, and letters here on the bottom row. You know why? I'll tell you bout that when we get to the next shop. Anyway, I usually check my mail; what do you know I got three presents. Let's see what this one is though. [[Bob]].

''How ARE you, Sonichu? Well now, I bet your bottom Bell you didn't expect me to cut out and split town, huh? Nope, I shocked the world! I'm turning over a new leaf- see you on the flip side! Laters, Bob''

Oh I guess he moved out, oh well.

[''Sonichu proceeds to throw out poor Bob's letter, then collect his gifts from the remaining letters'']

Anyway, let's see what we got from the, uh, probably from the museum; because I did up those fossils and uh...I sell them. Makes a nice profit.

[''Sonichu throws away all three letters'']

I just quickly uh read through them and then throw them away. You know like...junk mail! You could also say pop-ups if they had "x's" on em.

[''Sonichu begins to open his gifts'']

See what we got here, A dinosaur track, a Tricera tail, and a dinosaur egg. Well that'll make a nice profit. By the way, in case you missed it the first time I'll put it up again.

[''Once again shows the address to his website'']

Ok you got it, alright now. Before we head to Nook's shop which will be the last stop on the tour; we go- we're gonna take the rest of the tour here. Alright let's see. Well this is the train station. But I travel to the other city which I'll tell you about now. The name of the city is CWCcity. Spelled C-W-C-c-i-t-y, we'll visit there later, but not by train of course. It'll be a hou-It'll be a run by the, uh, character named [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]], C-r-y-s-t-a-l, when we get there. All right. Oh, look at this, a hole in the ground.

[''opens the menu to equip his golden shovel'']

Yeah, you see, sometimes there's an item in CWCcity. I don't have it here in CWCville because I have CWCville a lot longer than CWCcity. I bring stuff from CWCcity over here.

[''he digs up the buried item - it's a folding chair'']

'Cause obviously I did not collect this one yet. I got good memory.

[''Sonichu screws up and digs another hole; he cleans both of them up'']

Yeah, and also I got a good taste for music because I grew up on music. So anyway let's move on with- oh, you notice this [a golden statue of Sonichu]? You know why this is here?

[''This statue was erected in honor of Sonichu's full loan repayment!'']

I paid my debt. And this is Sonichu's mug again, right next to the master.

[''Sonichu runs past a sign reading "H.F.A." with two almost invisible red eyes'']

Oh, look at this. H.F.A. And very mean eyes. Must mean something bad. ...I know what it means. I'll tell you about it at the end of the documentary here. Uh, the city of CWCville and CWCcity, or otherwise all the deal [?] in ''Animal Crossing'' for Nintendo GameCube, in a nutshell.

[''Sonichu enters the acre with the post office on it'']

So anyway, here's the post office, do my mailing and such and the e-Reader swipes. By the way there's a good way to profit from the e-Reader, I'll tell you about it in CWCcity.

[''Sonichu comes across a shining ring in the ground'']

Oh, what do you know! A money spot. I'll just dig up the thousand bells.

[''Sonichu pulls a shovel out of his inventory and digs up the money sack'']

Yep, thousand bells, just bury that up. Mmm, drag it up there. Use the R button to quickly pick up the items.

[''Sonichu enters the acre with the dump in it, he enters it'']

Anyway, here's the dump. I come here first, pick up the- whatever items I want every time I start ''Animal Crossing''. Hmm, got a shirt, what do we have here? A plant. I's have picked up a pothos before so I know it's a plant.

[''Sonichu starts wandering into some acres filled with trees'']

I don't really use plants in my house you n-n-noticed, essept for that Christmas Tree but that's for, you know, the holidays. Anyway she's around here, I want to show you my favorite character that I kind of got to know from the start.

[''Sonichu finds his way into an acre with a house on it'']

Oop, she just went in. So let's go say hello.

[''Sonichu follows some blue cat into a house and rams into it'']

Yeah uhm, uhm, would you come out here please?

[''Sonichu walks back into the center of the room and back into the blue cat, he pushes it into a corner'']

Mmm... Darnit, I can't see her but anyway uh, I think you recognize her. Oh here we go a little bit. Yeah mint, she's a sweety.

[''Sonichu talks to the Mint about some random crap'']

She gave me a birthday present on my 21st birthday when I time-traveled back. Talk to me!

[''Mint rambles on about how it's cold out and how winter's coming'']

[unintelligible], it's November.

[''Mint asks Sonichu if he has a heater'']

Yeah I got a heater in the basement.

[''Mint jokingly mocks him about turning on heaters during November'']

[Chris chuckles] Yea.

[''Mint says something about how it's going to get colder'']

That's right. Well, I'll see you later Minty, you're a sweety.

[''Sonichu leaves Mint's house'']

Anyway that's uhh all so on the trip. We'll take a look at all the other colorful characters we have around here.

[''The town map comes up, different acres are examined'']

Also uh every time I keep track of the-uh map so that I can see if anyone new came in. Oh, we got a new neighbor, Bertha. I haven't noticed her before. So she's obviously new. So anyway uh, let's move on.

[''Sonichu starts running through the woods and comes across some kangaroo'']

Here's another character I grew up with. Actually she moved in, and lived here most of the time. Marcy. And now she's wearing a Sonichu shirt. Sonichu is very popular in CWCville.

[''Sonichu heads south to an acre with some green mouse's house in it'']

There's [unintelligible], she just went in.

[''Sonichu heads west and finds some giraffe's house'']

And there's Elmer. He just went in, he's one of the senior citizens around here too. I say that because he's lived here- by the way our ne- our city pe- fruit is a peach. But I've grown a lot of orange, pears n such.

[14:15]

[''Sonichu heads west and finds a white cat, she says something about how CWCville is amazing'']

Oh what do you know, it's that girl from the train.

[''He talks to Blanca'']

I draw her face every time, but when I'm in a hurry I just color it, the whole thing, and she just looks like a... ''Blank face''. But I gave her a face last time.

[''Sonichu starts to head out of the acre but turns around and runs back in'']

Oh, there was another character up here on the hill.

[''Sonichu heads to a goat's house by a river'']

And she just came out, [unintelligible]. What do you know, Elmer's clothes.

[''Sonichu runs out of that acre back into the woods'']

Anyway, moving on with the tour.

[''Sonichu comes to some giant tree with a fountain thing in front of it, Chris mistakes it for a well. Some billboards are to the right of it'']

Well, [Chris chortles] good joke. Anyway I also, you know I like to use the billboards, put my signs up. There's my Sonichu site logo, there's Sonichu's mug. I got two here side by side represent the holidy and such. Yea here we got your corn that you got from the previous issue and I drew this leaf.

[''It doesn't look like a leaf'']

Obviously for Thanksgiving and the harvest festival.

[''A blue bear walks into the video'']

Oh, look there's Groucho. He's wearin' a Sonichu site shirt. Let's say hello.

[''Sonichu starts speaking with Groucho'']

Entertain me.

[''Groucho bitches about his mom and fruit'']

A [unintelligible] huh?

[''Groucho offers Sonichu an apple, Sonichu accepts'']

I-I'll take one. Yeah, it makes a nice little profit when you talk to them and most of the time it happens from the jobs.

[''Sonichu walks east and comes across a green lion's house'']

So anyway. Yeah, here's Leopold, he moved in a long time-

[''Sonichu makes his way to a green rooster's abode'']

Here's Hank, he's one of the senior citizens around here also. [unintelligible]

[''Sonichu runs to a teal hippo's house'']

Let's go see our new neighbor. Oh, here she is. She must be Bertha. Hello Bertha.

[''Sonichu talks to Bertha, Bertha talks about how nice the town is, etc.'']

It is a nice place. Heh you're scatterbrained. Ok, yeah, well see you around!

[''Sonichu heads south towards a museum'']

[Chris Grunts] Here's the Museum.

[''Sonichu heads inside'']

Let's go look at the exhibits.

[''We see the inside of the museum as Sonichu heads toward the insect section'']

First, we'll look at the bug exhibit.

[''Sonichu is now inside the insect section'']

I got most of the bugs.

I'll show 'ya. This is my bug collection, I caught them all one-by-one and donated them one-by-one.

[[I Got A Fish|Wanna' see my number of fish?]] Not as much. Not as much. Anyway, uh, all the bugs are just runnin' around here. Hey, whaddya' know, we got a couple- few bugs on the trees here. Two of them are fighting. Well, that's funny, like [[cats|Lucy and Desi]]. [[I Love Lucy|I love Lucy]].

Anyway, uh, nebit, cebit, zibit, the fish exhibit. Yeah, you can see here I caught those fish and I donated them. Hmm, this one is empty. I guess it's waiting for a kind donation. Yeah, here's a bunch of fish; here's some more fish. One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Alright, anyway, moving on with the tour the museum, take a look at the paintings. I haven't gotten them all yet, but, uh, I got a few. Here's a nice one, it's strange though. sw- why- I gu- why I'd call it a strange painting. Yeah, some of them are- most of them are just waiting for a kind donation, but I got this one from a swipe. Well, my favorite painting around here is, uh, right here. Washington crossing the Delaware, but you guys call it the Classic Paining.

Anyway, moving on. We're gonna' check out what I worked hard for and actually got done, the fossil section. All the fossils, right here; all of them! Dug them all up! Though the last one I completed and the last one I picked up was the pterodactyl. All I needed was the right wing and that completed the pterodactyl. As well as the fossil exhibit; and who's my favorite? It's obvious. Anyway- oh, you can actually see a bug in that amber, y'know? That right there, I wonder what kind of bug that is. I think it was in the, uh, insect thing. Oh well, forget it. Anyway, moving on with the tour, leaving the museum. See you later, sleeping Blathers.

Well, here's another neighbor, Cookie; She just went in. Alright. Well, anyway, uh, since we're, uh, down here, I'm gonna' tell you a couple of things. This is a- here's a- here's the dock, right here, and there's the sea turtle. Of course I usually would check around the, uh, beach lines for old Gulliver, that sailor bird. You should have called him Pelliper like the Pokémon. You notice these two signs here? You need a Gameboy Advance to get started, but when you come back, welcome to the Gamecube.

Anyway, let's go visit the island real quick, 'cuz I'll show you something fun you could do on the island. I use my Gameboy Advance SP but I do have a GBA as well. Well, I use the, uh, SP for, uh, y'know the e-Reader because y'know my Digimon players. It's, uh, easier to hold as swiping as, as compared to the, uh, GBA, the original. Yeah- this sweet young lass, so full of spunk an' sass, over tea, she tells me I gots no class.I ain't no crummy creep who lives in trash heaps! I'm just one old sea-hun who needs some sleep. *unintelligible noises* No, I do not. *rhythmic unintelligible noises* Woooh! I know, the singing annoys me too. I just mock it, and that's- that's why I kinda' have this thing on mute anyway. I listen to my music... every time I play. I actually turn it off right after we- just after we- just as we leave the, uh, bridge there.

So, anyway, this is my island, Cwcville island. Looket all these coconuts here, "In the tropical seas with the coconut trees, we will look and see, coconut." Fine little way to make a profit. Here's Flash. "Troz." I game him that expression, like [[Wikipedia:Pinky and the Brain|''Pinky and the Brain'']]. So, let's say hello.

''[Flash asks for Sonichu's [[Fashion|rugby shirt]]]

I'll let you have it, 'cause [[Muscle bra|I don't need it]]. It doesn't look too bad on you.

Anyway, here's a fun way to make a profit, a'course, you need the Gameboy Advance for this. You shake the trees, you grab the coconuts. I put them all over her- I gathered them all over here, in this area, and then I just drag them over to the bird. And after the first three coconuts, he gives me money. And I just all put 'em back in the proper place around here. And when I come back to the island, Gamecube version, instead of the uh, on the Gamecube instead of in the Gameboy Advance, after uploading I collect the money, go as high as 30,000 bells, which is very nice.

Anyway, I'll show you what you can do on the house in the island.

[''Goes inside the house'']

I use mine as storage for the, uh, extras items I, uh, don't have room for, at home. Yeah, I got a bunch. 'Course, I got mostly wallpaper and shirts, that's why I got all these dressers.

[''Looks inside a dresser'']

But I've gotten all the uh, carpets from, uh, Sahara. She was here yesterday. Wel- How do I know? I usually keep track, I made a special sticker with my Gameboy camera and I just uh, whenever there's a holiday or ah, when there's a special event as noted by the Copper, I note it on the calender with one of those stickers, or write it down whether it's for Cwcville or Cwc City.

[''Exits the house'']

Anyway, we're going to leave the island. See you later Flash! Troz! Or Zort!

[''Goes to Kapp'n so he can leave'']

Hey Kapp'n. Yeah I'm leavin'. No thank you.

[''Gets on the boat'']

Oh, by the way Sonichu's mug is the flag of the island. Obviously. Don't worry, this time I'm not going to imitate his singin'.

Instead I'll talk about something random. [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

Oh, by the way, those two characters at the tailor shop, Mabel and Sabel, are they hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I dunno. They look like hedgehogs, and or porcupines, but ah, I'm not sure which are they. But either way, if they're hedgehogs, you got my vote on Sonic. Speaking of which, you should have make- ''Sonic Heroes'' should be Nintendo Gamecube exclusive, because [[Xbox]] and [[Sony|PlayStation 2]], my opinion is the same as yours, they both stink. Yeah, I do not even own them, I do not even want them, and that goes double for the PS One as well.

But if you want to know my game systems, I've had my Gamecube for about almost a year and a half now, got it on May thirty-first, twenty o'two. I got your SNES, Nintendo 64, NES, I got the Genesis 301, with the uh, original Genesis, 32X and Sega CD, as well as Sega Dreamcast, and a Sega Saturn. So I've got mostly all of them, I've been a Sonic fan forever, and that's why I'm glad Sonic came to Nintendo.

[''Arrives back at Cwcville'']

By the way, you all may remember, that I sent you guys a letter, talking about my dream of Sonic on Game Boy, well you go on my website, check the uh, about the author section, you'll see the ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine cover I made up just for the occasion.

Anyway, welcome back to the Gamecube, let's move on with the tour, shall we? Anyway, we're gonna check the island. Oh, Lighthouse, oh will look at this, there's a weed, I pick weeds, keeps my town clean, as well as uh, Cwc City.

Oh, here's the other billboard I don't kn-know if I've shown you, [[Pokemon|Magikarp]]. that's for the fishing tourney, I drew a Magikarp just for it. Yeah, that's a Magikarp, I didn't have room for a Gyarados.

So, way, ah, here's the Tailor Shop. I got a Game Boy Advance right here as well because, you know, I can use my Gameboy Advance here. So let's go in and see what I got on display.

[''Enters Able Sisters shop'']

Yeah I mean what are they, hedgehogs or porcupines, cuz I can't tell. Anyway, I got Sonichu an Ro-, I got Sonichu right here. Oh, and by the way, this is his girlfriend, you want to know what her name is? [[Rosechu]]. See how that's spelled? Yeah, but you'll see- you'll probably see her and her body on the uh, letter that's included with the VHS here. So anyway, that's her favorite flower, called the Zapbud. Oh, and there's my Sonichu site logo, there's you acc- that you featured in ''Nintendo Power''. And a nice (swipe?) for the Pokeball, as well as Star Fox emblem.

["Opens up his saved patterns"]

Here, let me show you the uh, rest of my uh, patterns. Most of them I put together. There's Sonic, right there. And this is Sonichu's evil twin, [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]. I made the Mario as kinda like, you know, the ''Nintendo Power''. Duh. If you guys had a shirt already, and the uh, game, that's from me and then you'll find out later. Oh, because [[Clyde Cash|Spiderman]] was in town recently, I was inspired. An here's Old Glory. Let's see. Yeah, these are the uh, older patterns I uh, kinda picked up from the shirts as much. And these are patterns I put together myself, there's the Magikarp, and there are others, like you got from ''Nintendo Power'', like the corn, [[the Moon]], groovy. Groovy! I call it groovy. There's the mushroom and the mug. Oh, I got something ready for Christmas, you know, you may notice the wreath back there. Let's see, yeah, here the uh, swiped images. Ah, by the way, you remember Tim Timetrail, that's his logo right there, I call it Time Travel, it's got his name written on there, Time- Tim Timetrail.

Could you excuse me for a minute, I've got an itch in my eye. [''A few seconds pause''] Alright. Anyway, that's taken care of. Anyway, I guess.

[''Selects Time Travel shirt and moves it around'']

What'd I do that for? I'm putting it back. Anyways that's-a, images I got so far.

[''Talks to Mabel'']

No, no thank you, we got nothing. So I'll see you all later. Or ah, another day, somewhat. Hey, I think that looks uh-familar, what Mabel's sewing up, or's that Sabel? I think that's the noodle design.

[''Exits Able Sisters shop'']

Anyway, moving on. Another weed, well what do you know about that. I usually like to run, it ke-keeps me going faster. Oh, by the way, Puck lives here.

Oh, what do you know, a hole in the ground. I usuall- also usually uh, during my rounds, ["Digs up fossil"] I check for these holes. ["Raises pitch of voice"] And it's an antique! And of course, if I dig up a fossil I just quickly write a letter to the Museum. And I don't have to write anything, so I just get that out of the way real quick. I only keep my shovel in hand cuz there may be a few more holes around here somewhere. Well look at this, another weed.

Anyway, no bird today. So le- let's go see Copper, see if there's anything new at the police station.

[''Talks to Copper'']

Any goings-on? Nothing of import, huh.

It's hard to catch that b- bird you know, the uh, postal character Pete. One time I tried, but then he just flew away. Anyway, you got anything in the police station today Copper? That is uh, anything lost? Oh, we got something? Oh good, I'll go take it, I just usually pick it up and sell it later.

[''Enters police station'']

By the way, as fer the Gulliver, if he has something I have not collected yet, I'll usually keep it. Seeds? Oh well, I'll take it. I could always plant those. Cuz they won't make much of a profit. Anyway, if uh, Gulliver has a gave me something that I already have, I usually just sell it.

[''Exits Police Station'']

Makes a nice profit. Uh anyway, let's plant these flowers. Uh, here's a good place.

[''Plants flowers'']

Alright, what do you know, red tulips.

Anyway, there's ah, what's her name. Oh yeah, Portia. Anyway, uh, let's see. Oh yeah, there's Leigh right there.

Oh by the way, you know for Mint? I got her card as well, her ''Animal Crossing'' card. Oh yeah, Chuckles! He likes to wear belt buckles! [[Random Access Humor|Rhyme joke]]. So anyway, uh, moving a little north. Here's the uh, Nook Shop. I got it the best, obviously. But if it gets any better, I'll be surprised. So anyway, uh, let's go inside.

[''Enters Nook's Shop'']

See what see what look lik- See what old Nook has today. [''Sighs'']. Oh, I got to sell these items, I usually do that, I sell him the items.

[''Starts selling things to Nook'']

Items I don't need. Those fossils make a nice little profit, espeg- especially the uh, one that's not within the top five. Whoops. I pressed the B button by mistake.

[''Continues to sell, and starts to hum'']

Doops, I goofed. Yeah, foreign fruits, 500. Although the peaches only get you 100 here. By the way, same fruit in Cwc City, it's a pear. Oh, and I need a sign anyway, so I'll just go ahead and get one of those.

[''Buys sign, clicks through Nook's dialogue about using the sign, and starts humming'']

Anyway, we're going upstairs.

[''Goes upstairs'']

What do ya know, we got the gruesome twosome. They're a comical pair. Ugn, let's see, a blue dresser. Uhh, iris table, refrigerator. Yes, I got this refrigerator already, so I don't need it. I already got the water bird. I've seen those shirts before. Ugn, look at all of these two, they chase me around wherever I go, like I'm some sort kind of [[Autism|nut]] or something. Watch this.

[''Chris makes odd noises that might be mistaken for humming, as he runs around the store and watches the salesman chase him. Sometimes art does imitate real life'']

Almost caught me there. Okay, I'm leaving.

[''Goes downstairs'']

Let's see, was there any other business I need? Oh, I guess I need more paper. So I'll get a sheet, get a pack.

[''Buys paper'']

That's quick, I just pick a random style and just go with that. By the way, in case you're wondering about those button noises, I got the microphone taped to the uh, Gamecube Wavebird here.

Anyway, I'll show you something you can do with the raffle tickets you pick up from here.

[''Exits Nook's Store'']

Instead of making a [[Tour of Chris's House|mess in my house]], I bury them right here, next to the Nook Shop. It's a good place to locate them. So when I'm ready at the end of the month, I just pick up as many as I can hold.

[''Digs up raffle ticket, then buries it again'']

I'm just going to put it back, because it ain't November 30th yet. Oh I guess I don't need this shovel anymore.

[''Puts away shovel'']

Now I'm going to make use of this uh, sign here, the way I should have long time ago, because I didn't think about it. It's already been done in Cwc City, but... Right here by the Post Office, you can use your GBA, oh, well that's a bad place for it. I'm picking it back up. Oh what do you know, another weed.

[''Pulls weed'']

Must of missed that earlier. Anyway, you may post a design, Gameboy Advance, whoops.

[''Picks up sign accidentally'']

What'd I do that for, I'm puttin' it back.

[''Puts it back and adds Gameboy design again'']

There we go. [''Burps''] Excuse me. Hm, I've got well over fifty thousand, so I'm going to make a deposit.

[''Enters Post Office'']

It's ny- It's a good idea to- that you guys did have when you made this thing not only a post office. Oh, I got to mail off that fossil anyway. And I don nee- And it's a good idea to not only you make this into a post office but a bank, says your building. So anyway, see, let's make a deposit. One, two, three, four, five.

[''Deposits 50,000 bells'']

Seven hundred and fifty thousand. It's good saved. I made most of my money from the e-Reader swipes, which I'll tell you about that in Cwc City.

[''Exits Post Office'']

Anyway, uh, lets see. I guess that's it for Cwcville. You guys will be back later. And that- And when you come back, I'll tell you about this sign here. [''Sign saying "H.F.A"'']

Anyway, I'm going home, and I'm gonna save. You may save, Mister Gyroid.

[''Goes inside the house to save, hums a bit'']

You may save and quit.

[''Noise in the background, possibly the radio'']

[''Chris begins to sing''] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do, hey mellow color! Yellow is a mellow color, yes it is. [''Chris stops singing'']

Okay. see you in Cwcville- I mean Cwc City.

[''Title screen'']

At this time, I switched the memory cards. Cuz, ah, I got Cwcvville currently in Slot A, and Cwc City in Slot B. I'm switching the two, putting City in Slot A and Ville in Slot B. So now I'm pressin' the start button.

And here's a resident, Iggy. Here you got- get that down. Cwc City, that's the name of the city right there.

[''Yellow Is A Mellow Color playing faintly in the background'']

And that's her name, Crystal, make sure you get that down. Alright, getting things ready. Have a blast, yeah, that's a fun thing to say.

[''Cwc City is loaded, and starts'']

Anyway ah, this is Crystal. She's wearing the uh, Rosechu look. There's a Zapbud on the door, I got Sonichu- Rosechu's mug right here. [''A sign with Rosechu's face on it''] Yeah, an her ensemble, but let's take a tour of her house first.

[''Goes inside the house'']

It ain't much since, uh, she basically got started, but she's almost done paying off her debt to old Nook. There's your website again. [''A Nintendo bench with their website on it''] Oh look, there's the R-Wing, launching into the uh, Super Mario Brother's World. [''The wallpaper is from Mario'']

Which reminds me, I got to get those two boxes to those two passwords later. Anyway, here's her diary. She got started only on November twelfth. Sonichu got started on October twenty-fourth. Anyway let's see, what else have we got here. Yeah, I got the two logos. Well would you look at that, I got them in the wrong place.

[''Starts moving around the logos'']

Oh well, I'll just move 'em. I didn't notice that before, I got 'em in the wrong place. Well that's no problem. I'll just quickly move them around. Hm, they make it loo- You guys make it look tough to move things around, but actually it's not. Let's see what time it is. Oh, it's one forty-five, huh? Well, it's getting close to being later in the afternoon.

There's her tree, she's getting ready for Christmas too. Let's take a quick trip upstairs.

[''Goes upstairs'']

She got her NES games she got collected up here. A plain old falsehood right there, Super Tortimer. Why'd you guys make that game up anyway? It's so- It's stupid. Cuz it's fake. Anyway, here's a thing. I got lucky and found this. I think I dug it up. Oh-no, wait a minute, I got it from Redd, long time ago. Oh, here's her harvest bed. I got a couple empty tables for- getting ready for a couple more NES games. [''Sighs'']

[''Goes downstairs'']

Anyway uh,

[''Continues down to the basement'']

Her basement isn't sa- as busy as uh, Cwcville, but she's got a few models down here. A couple of tracks models. Oh, there's the Moon. You guys made that thing really big you know, it's too big for me, if you ask my opinion.

Huh, Katrina's a little off, I'm just gonna move her real quick, there we go. Alright, you know there's the glove clock, you notice I had glove [[pickles|cock]]- glove clock in the basement in Cwcville as well.

Oh, you know what, ah, ruh- Crystal's worn her Rosechu outfit long enough.

[''Tries to change her outfit'']

Oops. I guess I can't do that yet. Well, never mind.

[''Goes upstairs'']

Anyway, moving on.

[''Leaves house'']

Before we take a tour of the city, I'mma tell you how to make a f- how you make a fun profit with the e-Reader. I'll check the bulletin board.

[''Checks the bulletin board'']

Ah, that's an oldie.

[''Walks to the Train Station'']

Anyway, 'course, that's the Train Station, I told you earlier about that in Cwcville. There's Rosey's mug. You see no statue cuz, she hasn't paid her debt off. That's why we're going to do this with Crystal. Oh, give me a second would ja, I got to do something real quick.

[''A few seconds pass'']

I'm having my Game Boy and my Wavebird at the same time. That's why I put it over there too.

I use my uh, SP as well here. You know, ah, my funds uh, right here, right? Help my funds. I'm gonna- show you guys something real quick- I use my Game Boy Advance SP to help me out here, since you know, the Digimon deal. Not only that, but, the noise it makes, helps me, uh, clarify, whether I uh, got the card read right. I usually do it ten at a time, I'll tell- elaborate about that more later. But I'm gonna do this on purpose, uh, swipe it awkwardly.

Oops, I musta goofed up. Anyway, gonna try that again, see and ah uh, hear the noise that makes.

Oh, that's right, cuz, ya see, I prepared in advance by, uh, [''Clears throat''] you know, showing you showing my profit.

Like when I hadn't taken care of the first set of thirty cards out of 63 that I own so far. Cuz like I said, do it ten at a time. By anyway, ah,

[''Exits Post Office'']

[''Sighs'']

Let me just go ahead an uh, show you how you make a nice little profit. Okay, first step you uh, swipe the first ten cards, right? Cuz that's the maximum you can hold in your mailbox. Open your mailbox, get your ten letters into your hold there. And then you just, ah, grab and drop it to the first ten slots. By the way, rule of thumb, elaborate earlier with the five down here. Cuz you know, when you ah, sell your items to Tom, it usually ends up on the first item, and you- that, that way you have these guys on the bottom, they will not get in the way, you won't have to move the uh, hand.

So anyway, uh, we're gonna go to the Nook Shop. There's Iggy again, gonna play with his ball. Like I said, I haven't gotten that far here yet, in Cwc City.

[''Enters Nook Shop'']

There's old Tom. I've taken care of all my uh, errands, like ah, Chris and the little Sonichu I showed you back there. Anyway, we're going to do some selling.

[''Starts selling things to Nook, some other song from Christian and the Hedgehog Boys in the background'']

Obviously, I don't have sa- much to say at this point. So I'm just going to let you guys listen to the music while I sell.

[About 30 seconds later, he finishes selling, and leaves the store]

Okay, I got more to say. After I uh, sell the uh, first set ten, I get that out of the way. Like I said before, of course I do this with the R button.

[''Starts removing gifts from letters, then deleting the letters'']

I just pick up, and put 'em over there. A course, I have precise order, I do it from the first letters- first card swiped to the last card swiped. I usually swipe them in the uh, in order of their card numbers. Cuz ah, that's just the way I do it. Also, I use the uh, ''Animal Crossing'' card that came with the e-Reader,you notice the musical note in the first set. I just count as card triple zero. Makes a good idea, by the way, according to- by the way, speaking of the e-Reader cards, you guys should really uh, print out some more uh, of series- more of the early series. like series one. Cuz, you know, since I just just started you sh- I really want to collect those. And uh, I really would like if you uh, publish some more of those uh, series ones. I don't care if do like you know, second edition or whatever. But print out more of those cards, please. Anyway, uh, I just click- just read the letters real quick and then throw them away like junk mail. After I get rid of the presents.

[''Finishes throwing letters away'']

By the way, I hope you guys took note of the uh, amount in the previous deal in the Post Office. Anyway, after I delete the last letters, I open them up.

[''Opening up all his gifts'']

One by one, in an orderly flash- orderly fashion. A'most said orderly flashin'! Anyway...

[''Finishes opening his gifts'']

Let's see, with that done, I head back home.

[''Runs to his mailbox'']

And get the next set of ten I have ready. And then I head back to the Post Office.

[''Runs to Post Office'']

And swipe the next set of ten.

[''Enters Post Office'']

And uh, just to let you know, every fifty- every point over fifty thousand, you should make a deposit. But since I'm a good number at start, I'm not gonna do that. So, uh, after all the uh, e-Reader swipes, you should come up to a very nic-

[''Video cuts out for a second, possibly the result of Chris editing the video so we wouldn't have to wait for him to swipe the e-Reader cards'']

an profable- profitable proposition there. And after ah, swiping all those cards, then a nice grand total there. We can make a very generous donation. Or should I say deposit? The usual fifty-thou.

[''Deposits 50,000 bells'']

Here ya go. No thank you. Well, anyway ah, besides ah, selling those things, those uh, profitable items from the e-Reader cards, if there are any I haven't collected yet, I usually just keep 'em.

[''Exits Post Office'']

(Cuz I like the sound of them?) Like for example, the uh, Pansy models downstairs. And well, since that's over with.

[''Changes shirt'']

She just changed into her regular- her uh, nice warm clothing for the winter. Her ski sweater. So anyway, uh, let's see uh. Oh yes, I guess I should- she shoul- we should give you a tour of Cwc City.

Well, you have seen the uh, Post Office, and the Nu- Nook Shop. But I'll tell you the dump is in the opposite location compared to CWCville. And there it is, the dump. And uh, let's see. There's Money. She used to live in CWCville but she moved here. And there's Sally. She moved here.

[''Checks map'']

I have to check the map every now and then because the different location. Let's see, there's Carmen. [''Sing-song''] Carmen San Diego! Carmen San Diego!... Causing mischief around the world!

Let's see now. Oh yeah, that's Pinky. That's Pinky. There's the Museum. Oh, would you look at this, a hole in the ground. Let's see what's in it.

[''Digs up fossil'']

And it's an antique!

Must have missed that one previously. Oh well, I'll just simply write the old Museum a letter. Or not write a letter. Like I sent it to them anyway. [Goes to put away shovel, then changes his mind]

Ah, I best to hold on to that just in case. Let's see. Oh, Katrina's tent, she's here today. And there's Rollo. I think a friend sen- I think of Sanford and Son everytime I see Rollo. [''Scatman Chris''] Doo-doo-doo-doo-a-rawdl-et-do-do-do-do-alot-dude-alot-do-do-dolot-a-dood-alot-dooo. Do-do.

Speakin' of fr- speakin' of Sanford and Sons, my father an I, we have a relationship like Stanford and Son. He starts more arguments than there are flies in a garbage dump. Anyway, let's see, I took every care of business, and I do not need to talk to Copper, but there's the Police Station.

And what's at the shoreline but that stupid bird, and possibly anymore uh, holes in the ground.

[''Singing'']

There's nothing quite like a hole in the ground, hole in the ground, hole in the ground. There's nothing like a hole in the ground, here is, the lighthouse!

[''Stops singing'']

We got a stone bridge here in the city.

[''Sings again'']

There's nothing like a hole in the ground, a hole in the ground

[''Stops singing'']

Oh, we got two neighbors up here. Let's see. Yeah. There's a, Jeremiah. we got a new neighbor. Yeah, that was Pinky. She moved in today. Anyway, there;s the Tailor Shop. Right here. Already took you there over in Cwc Ci- Cwcville. And well, here's the dock. The island is, uh, we kept it for the ah, kre- for a memorial, we used Tim Timetale's island. As uh, we uh, trans- we exchanges between us- we exchanged it with the original island of Cwc City. Anyway, it's got the Tim Timetale flag on it. So we're not going to bother going there. Anyway, you know the two signs.

[''Goes to Wishing Well'']

Well. That joke never gets old. Anyway, there are two holiday signs, got 'em down here, here in the city. There's Rosey, and we got the Sonichu site logo here as well. There's a uh, shovel tree. That's Buzz. Buzz Lightyear. To infinity, and on your head! Oh, and there's uh, Cashmire. (I got call for Baah-bra?).
Huh, too bad she ain't here. And uh, I'm not sure, oh wait, yes I'm sure. Yeah, you have seen him, uh, Iggy. He's around here somewhere. I'm not gonna bother. Anyway, here's the Nook Shop, once again. And well, uh, I guess that's it for uh, Cwc City. oh, I got the fishing tourney sign here somewhere. You've already seen that, so I'm not gonna bother finding it.

Anyway uh, let's see. Oh, I got to mail this uh, fossil off. After I do that, we're going to go back over to Cwcville for uh, closing ceremonies of this great documentary I've put together. you'll find out what that "H.F.A" stands for.

[''Goes inside post office'']

So, stay tuned! And relax.

[''Starts mailing letter'']

In the meantime, here's some music.

[''Plays Yellow is a Mellow Color'']

[''Exits Post office'']

[''Goes and saves his game'']

[''Start screen'']

[''Loads Cwcville'']

[''Finally turns off Yellow is a Mellow Color'']

Welcome back to Cwcville! And we're here for the closing ceremonies, so the uh, documentary of the city of Cwcville and Cwc City in Animal Crossing, [''Raises pitch of voice''] for Nintendo Gamecube! But first, I'm gonna tell you a couple of things. Sonichu and Rosechu. [''Burps''] [''Faintly''] Excuse me.
I'm just going to let you know who they are, they're Pokemon. I made them up. They're both Electric-types, alright. Obviously. Sonichu and Rosechu are Pokemon I made up. They're Electric-types. They've got evolution, [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. You want pictures, you gotta ask me for them. Also they got baby forms, [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and Rosey]], they're cuties. So anyway, if you've missed it the first couple of times.

[''Shows bulletin saying "CWC's Sonichu Site!
http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm"'']

Here is one last time. Okay, and uh, to answer the all important question; What is the meaning of "H.F.A"? With the two red eyes. I will tell you. Got that? it means "High Functionally Autism" because that's what I am, I'm High Functionally Autistic. I may have autism, but since I'm high functional, I do all- I can do alot of things. I mean otherwise I wouldn't even do this documentary I'm doing right now.

So let's see, is there anything else I need to cover? Well, I guess not. But anyway, uh, this is the city of Cwcville and there's a- don't forget Sonichu website if you want to go see it. I've been playing video games for as long as I can remember. And listening to music as long as I can remember. So, we're going to end this documentary by obviously leaving. If you want credits, ya have to look at the enclosed letter.

[''Starts saving game'']

But anyway, uh, pu- for in the submission of Nintendo Power. This has been a, documentary narrated by Christian Weston Chandler. Thank you very much, and I hope that you will consider this for publication. Bye now.

[''Title screen'']

[''Voice in the background saying "Stop!"'']

[''Video end'']

==''Nintendo Power'' article==

''[[Nintendo Power]]''’s May 2004 article on Chris’s documentary covers only Sonichu’s life in Cwcville. The way that the article speaks of Sonichu’s actions, most casual readers would be led to believe that “Sonichu” is the real name of the person who submitted the documentary.

[[Image:CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|center]]

===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions)''

*Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.
*He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.
*And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.
*Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular PokéBall.}}

==PVCC's news report==

The 26 April 2004 issue of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC's]] school newspaper, ''The Forum'', included a news report on the "accomplishments" of then-student Christian Chandler. The first half of the article discusses Chris's OFFICIAL and ORIGINIAL creation, Sonichu, while the second half covers Chris's Animal Crossing Documentary, going so far as to quote ''[[Nintendo Power]]'''s own coverage. Everyone can draw their conclusions of how slow news day it was at the PVCC by comparing how big the ''Nintendo Power'' article was, and how big this article was.

===Transcript===

[[File:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|center|Meet Sonichu]]

{{quotenews|'''Meet Sonichu''' ''Student featured in "Nintendo Power"''

By Kari Mitchell ''The Forum assistant editor''

Most everyone has a hobby. It may be hard to find free time in between classes, especially with exam week quickly approaching, but PVCC student Christian Chandler, has dedicated many hours to his past time. He is the creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Like Sonic, Sonichu can run at high speeds. "During Super Sonic's battle against the [[Perfect Chaos Monster|Perfect Chaos monster]] (''Sonic Adventure DX'' for Gamecube), Super Sonic was spat out by the monster, and colldied with a by-standing Pikachu," Chandler explained. According to his story, the power from the Chaos Emeralds transformed Pikachu into Sonichu.

The idea for the character came from a project Chandler was assigned his senior year of high school. He was enrolled in a computer graphics class that required him to design a CD cover. His original idea was to put Sonic and Pikachu on the cover, however, both characters are copyrighted. Instead he decided to combine the characters into something all his own. Thus, on March 17, 2000, Sonichu was born.

Over time, Chandler began to mold and expand the life of Sonichu, giving him stories, homemade trading cards, clay figures, a board game, and a [[Sonichu medallion]] with charms, among other things.

Chandler and the world he created for Sonichu were featured in the May 2004 issue of ''Nintendo Power.'' The place was called Cwcville (The "Cwc" prefix are his initials, Christian Weston Chandler). Nintendo Power was apparently impressed with Chandler's work. "Simply amazing. There's no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville - a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life." The documentary, running about an hour, was taped from the Nintendo Gamecube title, ''Animal Crossing''. He dubbed his voice over the sound through a microphone and audio input in his VCR. In the documentary, Chandler covers "basically how I do things in ''Animal Crossing'' as the boy character, Sonichu, in the city of Cwcville." Some of the tasks include using the journal as a monthly diary, making money, customizing the city, and conversing with another ''Animal Crossing'' city. For now, Sonichu remains a hobby in the future, Chandler would like to see Sonichu and his friends as real Pokémon, even having their own Nintendo Gamecube video game title. "I am not really sure what to do in order to do all that," Chandler said, "but for now, Sonichu and I, Christian C., are in Nintedo Power Magazine!"}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]|nextlink=[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]|}}

{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Talk:Animal Crossing Documentary

2010-07-08T20:16:56Z

Sussuro: /* Spelling/Grammar edits */

The scan of the Nintendo Power article on CWC's Animal Crossing towns is too small to read the words at its full size, and I think that the scan of the page should be replaced by a larger, higher-quality scan with a clearer view of the article and its screencaps. Anyone have a larger scan, or agree with me? --[[User:Spandam-sama|Spandam-sama]] 00:48, 11 September 2009 (CEST)
*No idea if there exists a higher quality scan. If you can get one, great, but otherwise we have to make do with what we have. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:21, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

== Transcription ==

I started to transcribe the documentary. If anyone has any suggestions about formatting let me know. [[User:Cows|Cows]] 08:16, 22 November 2009 (CET)

:* Someone has done an enormous amount of transcription for this video already. I can't find that partial transcript for the life of me, but I'm pretty sure it's stored on a user sub-page somewhere. It would take time to find that, but it'd take even more time to re-transcribe a boring, hour-long video. The choice is yours! [[User:Llort|Llort]] 18:55, 22 November 2009 (CET)

::* [[User:Robotnik/Crossumentary| Found it]]. I am going to steal some of it when I get a chance. Thanks for telling me about it. [[User:Cows|Cows]] 08:14, 23 November 2009 (CET)

:::* Steal what now? Damn I was ambitious... I should get back to that transcript! I got some free time this week, I think I'll try to make another dent in it. Is anyone ever going to refer to it once it's finished? --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 12:20, 26 December 2009 (CET)
::::* I was going to put what you have of the transcript into the article and then maybe do a little work on it myself, but then I realized that if I did that it would be put into 10 minute segments as opposed to the sections in the outline. So should we break your transcript into the outlined segments, or remove the outline and just directly stick your transcript in? --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 23:33, 28 December 2009 (CET)
:::::*I really don't mind if you make any changes, I just segmented it off in that way for my own use. I liked the 10 minute blocks because it told me when I was spending too much time on it and should probably stop.--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 06:06, 26 January 2010 (UTC)
::::::* I guess I'm taking over the transcription. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 04:25, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Transcription is Done ==

Should we break it into sections now, based on whatever inane thing Chris is talking about for that time period? Because this thing is huge, and there's no real division in it. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 03:02, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
* I did the summary a while back. There might be a longer, fancier version of it on the PVCC that I could look at, but mostly it's Chris doing a stream-of-consciousness thing and hoping Nintendo will send him swag as the result of it. Personally, I'm surprised this didn't go on his resume. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 08:33, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
** My notes: Somebody else did a more in-depth commentary with timestamps and shit but I'm not posting it:

Notes:

He has a menorah in his house.

"Sonichu" has his face on the front and back of his shirt and hat. And the character is supposed to "be" Sonichu.

He thinks Nintendo isn't a huge faceless corporation and will buy him things for his birthday.

He likes to play Donkey Kong Jr math, which sounds like a game for little kids, which he describes as challenging.

Chris's wailing in the background is subtle and disturbing.

He stress sighs in this.

And goes through his daily routine of sleep, internet, and TV.

1:15 pm is a good time to start?

His jokes aren't even jokes on a fundamental level. And then he starts making fart noises over and over again.

He misspells Crystal "Cristal," like the champagne.

You just notice the wailing in the background as he says "i have good taste in music!"

HE FOUND A RUGBY SHIRT IN THE DUMP.

I think he has the song on repeat.

I like how he keeps saying he's 21 over and over and over, in case the person doesn't watching this doesn't notice that he's an extremely childish adult with some kind of developmental disabilities.

The Macarena starts playing. He's playing the Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album.

He compares two beetles fighting to I Love Lucy. That's... insane. Why does he assume the bugs were a married couple? This is like play therapy where a psychologist observes a little kid playing house and picks up on the references they make to daddy getting drunk or mommy yelling at daddy or the kids getting locked in the closet while their parents hit the bars.

Chris considers this fun.

"The singing annoys me too, but I just mock it." That's because this is a game for preschoolers. I can see why Chris's singing would be the final straw when he got fired from Wendy's. It's repugnant on a a primal level, especially when he starts in with the gibberish.

He has more shirts in this game than he does in real life, I'll bet.

I think even preschoolers would find this dull.

OH GOD STRONG OPINION ON CONSOLES

"Nintendo cares about which obsolete gaming consoles I own!!"

"Nintendo will remember my letters regarding my dreams!!"

FUCK he'll gladly pull weeds in this game with no reward but not in real life.

He can design his own clown shirts in game. Huh.

I'm kind of glad that he can't sew.

The wailing in the background again.

He keeps talking about profit. This thing is like a Skinner Box for manchildren.

Rhyme joke: because "chuckles" rhymes with "buckles" it is automatically hilarious.

He has 61600 bells. I wonder how much that is.

The Macarena is replaying again. Fuck.

Oh, he has a Rosechu character with her face on the front and back of her shirt, and hat.

"Super Tournamer" is a stupid game because it's FAKE. As opposed to the video games that are ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN REALITY

Glove cock?

...they've made a game out of that part of console RPGs where you wander around a town talking to NPCs and buying potions and shit and trying to figure out where to go next, except there is nowhere to go next. I don't even see how children would find this interesting. It doesnt seem like there are any mini games you can play, it's just a lot of walking around and trying to find items and inventory management. How is this even a game?

...I think he's singing over that Japanese Sonic song in the background. It's unintelligible and there are vaguely metallish sounds and Chris wails higher than usual. Chris is completely silent and is selling his inventory.

"I just started collecting your cards, so please reprint your out of print cards so I can collect them."

He's avoiding reading his mail here. He would do this IRL years later.

I like the hatchet in Rosechu's inventory. It's very ominous.

Animal crossing: the game that simulates VISITING THE BANK

...I'm pretty sure that's not the Carmen Sandeigo theme.

I think of Sanford and Son when I see the BLACK CHARACTER.

"Please listen to my problems relating to my father, Nintendo."

There's a frog character named Jeremiah. Of course Chris doesn't get that because he's unfamiliar with all music outside of shitty 90's pop.

Hey, it's almost over.

Most documentaries are edited, so they only have the parts that are interesting and relevent and it's not the filmmakers walking around from place to place talking about how much they hate their dad.

FUCK MACARENA AGAIN

"They're obviously electric types. READ MY MIND NINTENDO AND THEN MAKE MY SHITTY POKEMON A GAME"

I like how he ends by saying that he made this documentary because he's mentally ill, and then says if he wasn't "high functioning" he wouldn't have been able to make this. Of course they slapped that part on his diagnosis because he could talk and interact with other kids on some level even if he was delayed. He's not high functioning anymore, though.

Afterthought:

This documentary is a thing of terror, but you acclimate to the terror like stepping into cold water. This is a 21-year-old man who instead of going out and making his place in the world sinks all his energy into a game for babies, and it doesn't even seem like an interesting or good game for babies. Watching this is like watching somebody's adulthood slowly dying.

- (I think the rest of this shit is about the anniversary present he made for his parents via Animal Crossing) -

Today is the first time I've watched that. I made it 12 minutes into the Animal Crossing documentary and it just made sad.

This is somehow worse.

It's not that Animal Crossing is a game for children. It's that it's a game for little little children. It's the video game equivalent of those little plastic tools or a toy oven or something and you pretend that you're fixing stuff or cooking food like an adult.

The Animal Crossing documentary is like a cry for help. It's disturbing on a bunch of levels. People in the target age range probably aren't into the game this much, because they're six or seven years old, they don't have the attention span to devote long periods of time to the game and only the shittiest parents would let them play the vidya for the majority of their waking hours (plus they have school) and then they'd be playing Grand Theft Auto instead of something age appropriate. Chris manages to mention most if not all of his personal problems in the span of an hour, and includes the Backstreet Boys cover songs he's made about his personal problems. And so on.

This thing is like an anti-gift to his parents. He could have got them a card, or said "Hey, happy anniversary" or just not have done anything and it would have been a better gift. This is five minutes of him playing video games, with creepy custom characters of his parents, and showing his alarming ignorance of American history. He confuses WWII and the Korean War, and also doesn't know which war his dad fought in. And I'm not sure, but I think his dad quit drinking because of health reasons or alcoholism, so I'm not sure why he put the bar thing in there. Oh, and half of this is about him.

Silver lining: at least he didn't reenact his conception with Animal Crossing characters.

--[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 08:41, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Spelling/Grammar edits ==

I noticed some places in the transcriptions where commas would be more appropriate, grammatically - would it be a huge issue if they were inserted? I know what Chris uses is hardly the epitome of fluent speech, but would the inserted punctuation be too much of a hinderance (improvement) of the flow of his words?

Also, the strikethrough in the description before the transcript: I can't watch the video due to shitty internet (and haven't finished reading the transcript yet), but, for the sake of continuity, is it the "Macarena" or "Yellow is a Mellow Color"?

I decided that due to my probable limited contribution, I'm taking Operation Grammatification very much to heart, sorry... [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 20:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

Commas are alright, but you'll be using a fuckton of them, given Chris's speech patterns. Also, it's "Yellow is Mellow Color", a song from Christian and the Hedgehog Boys. It's just him singing his own lyrics over the Macarena. The strikethrough is just there as a joke. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 20:05, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

Well, shit - then I'm not putting them everywhere they're typically needed then, just the glaringly obvious places. Thanks.
I just remembered from the [[CWCki:Operation Grammatification|Operation Grammatification]] page that strikethroughs were discouraged. I guess I should've read the linked page first though, sorry (remind me to lurk more). [[User:Sussuro|Sussuro]] 20:16, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Animal Crossing Documentary

2010-07-08T20:00:47Z

Sussuro: /* Spelling/Grammar edits */ new section

User:Sussuro

2010-07-08T17:07:18Z

Sussuro:

{{Eurofag}}
{{Hikikomori}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Kitty}}
(I changed my opinion after reading more. I dig Skittles too, though...)
{{Lesbian}}

{{Observer}}
{{Virgin with rage}}
{{Weeaboo}}

Newfag to the CWCki, I haven't trolled Christian and I don't intend to; however I find reading about how he has been trolled, particularly by himself, profoundly enjoyable. I choose instead to contribute in my very meager way by editing the few spelling and grammar mistakes I find.

I also consider ''[[Mary Poppins]]'' one of my favourite movies. Just sayin'.

User:Sussuro

2010-07-08T17:01:32Z

Sussuro:

{{Eurofag}}
{{Hikikomori}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Lesbian}}
{{Lucy}}
{{Observer}}
{{Virgin with rage}}
{{Weeaboo}}

Newfag to the CWCki, I haven't trolled Christian and I don't intend to; however I find reading about how he has been trolled, particularly by himself, profoundly enjoyable. I choose instead to contribute in my very meager way by editing the few spelling and grammar mistakes I find.

I also consider ''[[Mary Poppins]]'' one of my favourite movies. Just sayin'.

User:Sussuro

2010-07-07T14:29:46Z

Sussuro:

{{Eurofag}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{Lesbian}}
{{Lucy}}
{{Observer}}
{{Virgin with rage}}
{{Weeaboo}}

Newfag to the CWCki, I haven't trolled Christian and I don't intend to; however I find reading about how he has been trolled, particularly by himself, profoundly enjoyable. I choose instead to contribute in my very meager way by editing the few spelling and grammar mistakes I find.

I also consider ''[[Mary Poppins]]'' one of my favourite movies. Just sayin'.