CWCki - User contributions [en]

26 December 2014

2015-08-23T04:53:46Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Chris's Account */ It is not a lie if he believes this.

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|[[It's UGH!|Ugh!!!]] I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!|[[Chris]]'s justification for his actions.}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Netflix]] [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was a truly infamous day in Chris's life, and his most action-packed since he [[Graduation|graduated high school]]. Essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again, Chris was [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once more for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] at [[The GAMe PLACe|a video game store]], this time with pepper spray<ref>[https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1424389574456&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Virginia general court records]</ref>. The attack was the culmination of his months-long [[Sonic Boom Protests|crusade]] to change the arm color of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]. Chris's fans wait with bated breath to see what, if any, punishment he will receive, and whether he will learn anything from it.

==Synopsis==
[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, seconds before the assault.]]
By the time of his arrest, Chris had already been engaging in various local [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest actions]], including vandalism, to force merchants to stop selling Sonic Boom. He had been banned from every GameStop within driving distance of his [[Rental House|temporary home]]. Nevertheless, on the day after Christmas, on a trip to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with his mother, Chris visited the GameStop outlet. While he claimed it was to investigate some "Skylanders" merchandise, staff claimed he had committed acts of vandalism before, and they were on the lookout for him. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple [[My Little Pony]]-[[Chris and brand loyalty|branded]] [[Chris and fashion|sunglasses designed for little girls]], apparently as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]. After arguing with staff, he strode towards the store entrance, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" Just before he left, he brandished a pink can of pepper spray, and sprayed assistant manager (or "[[CWCism|Ass Manager]]", as Chris would later call him) James Herring. Herring was later confirmed to be unharmed, although he did leave work after the incident.

Most of the information on what happened in the next hour comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner (below), and details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking [[Kaka Makeup Basics|JCPenney]] and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police talked with Barbara, who was still at the mall eating, which implies that he left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Chris was arrested on the same day, at [[Rental House|home]].

On Sunday 28 December, a member of [[Kiwi Farms]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that Herring would be pressing charges. After his weekend in jail, Chris was charged with his Class 6 felony, posted the $2500 bail, and was released on recognizance.

==monozettai's Account==
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
The internet learned of the above drama when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded an on-the-scene video (below).<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip, Chris, clad in full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by macing a man who is clearly not threatening Chris in any way. The clip became a minor viral hit, earning over 250,000 views as of June 2015. It is one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]]. Chris did nothing to get the video taken down, perhaps being aware of the [[wikipedia:Streisand effect|Streisand effect]].

After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say:

{{quoteboxred|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Chris's Account==
[[File:Ween13.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Chris and Reality|Oh, really?]]]]
{{quote|[[Chris and his ego|I WAS the Victim]]|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}
Immediately after his release from the pokey, Chris rushed to his keyboard to perform damage control. Not surprisingly, he refused to admit any fault. Bizarrely, while he claimed ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, he also admitted that he had sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident. He also tried to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see. Even his [[white knights]] condemned his actions. It seemed that this time around, everyone was against him.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Sensory Overload|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

==The Charges==
[[File:Cwc_arrest_record.png|thumb|left|Chris's court records]]
This is the case against Chris, according to the [https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Albermarle General District Court].

{{quotebox|CHARGE: DANGEROUS GAS UNLAWFUL RELEASE (§ 18.2-312. Illegal use of tear gas, phosgene and other gases.) "If any person maliciously release or cause or procure to be released in any private home, place of business or place of public gathering any tear gas, mustard gas, phosgene gas or other noxious or nauseating gases or mixtures of chemicals designed to, and capable of, producing vile or injurious or nauseating odors or gases, and bodily injury results to any person from such gas or odor, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

"If such act be done unlawfully, but not maliciously, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony."<ref>Code of Virginia: http://leg1.state.va.us/000/src.htm</ref>}}

For a Class 6 felony conviction, Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500,<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM]</ref> in addition to all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

The 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously." Chris was fortunate to avoid the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which deals with malicious intent, and carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. Chris may be allowed to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence, with probation, counseling, anger management and/or community service in lieu of jail time.

Having squandered [[Bob]]'s inheritance on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the [[28 October 2011]], Chris has been forced this time around to work with a public defender.

==Chris Returns to the Front==
On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms exposed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Wal-Mart]] on that date, and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed by Chris himself, who indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "[[Chris and his ego|badass]]." This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceived himself as invincible so long as he could issue credible threats. Was it possible that Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability, previously confined to the comics, had [[Chris and reality|seeped into his conscious psyche]]?

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, once again painting himself as the victim and wishing that people would like him, despite his past actions. He argued that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the [[Death|deaths]] of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

==Subsequent court hearings==
[[File:Hearings.png|left|thumb|400px|Chris's hearing schedule.]]
Chris had had several hearings related to this case, stretching into the summer of 2015.<ref>https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003</ref> His fans are frustrated at the slow pace of justice.

===29 December Hearing===
At the video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on bond. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge had placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any GameStop outlet or contacting any of the company's employees.<ref>[[January 2015 Facebook posts#A No-Contact Order Apparently Goes Both Ways]]</ref>

===5 February Hearing===
[[File:CWCtrial.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after their 5 February hearing.]]
His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief, as the Chandlers appeared to been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing and thereby pissing off the court by holding up the next case. Footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court, the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

Zeonista's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-16#post-527528]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|I sat in the back of the courtroom, since I was trying really hard to be inconspicuous, but as a result of that it was hard for me to hear much of anything. I can't give you much in the way of specific dialogue... Rammspieler (at least, the person I believe was him) had a better vantage point, so expect more from him there.

Anyway, Chris WAS wearing women's clothes, but didn't look like as much of a disaster as usual. He was wearing a black cardigan and long dark-blue skirt with white stripes, along with dark-blue leggings and a pair of tan boots. His hair still looked pretty terrible, pretty much the same as it was in his mugshot. Barb was with him, wearing what looked like a red wool coat.

Chris looked pretty nervous while he was waiting for things to get started. He was fidgeting a lot and kept leaning over to ask her questions. I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside.

They called Chris up pretty quickly - his case was one of the first ones to go through. Naturally, even though there were 2 or 3 female PDs in the courtroom, Chris got the one BRUTE MALE of the lot. He was summoned as "Mr. Chandler," which I doubt he liked much. I heard the PD make a brief comment about Chris' appearance, but didn't hear exactly what was said.

The PD, Chris, and the judge spoke with each other for about 2 minutes, and eventually the ruling was for a continuation on April 2nd. The two of them left the courtroom, only to come back in about a minute or two later, with Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?" I guess Barb had already forgotten the date of the next hearing, or maybe she thought they needed to come back later in the day for something. Anyway, she and Chris spoke to the PD for another minute or two. I heard the PD say this to them: "I said you're free to go... Yes, it's April 2nd. April 2nd, I can write that down for you if you want." He looked just a little annoyed, because even this short exchange was enough to hold things up. Chris and Barb were blocking the middle of the courtroom while this was happening, and the judge had to ask them to move out of the way so the next guy up could get through.

The two of them left a little while later. All Chris had to say on his way out was "Welp," accompanied by a stress sigh.}}

Rammspieler's write-up:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-22#post-528260]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
Despite the continuance of the case until April 2nd, I'm glad to have been there and have been in the presence of Manbaby and Barb themselves. I wish I was a better videographer/photographer and had taken better shots of them, all I got was a video of them leaving court as well as a video of 14 BC.

I'm also glad that Zeonista posted and filled in for the details I wasn't able to pick up on. But the truth is that it was a very "active" courtroom and everybody was moving around and whispering to each other, so it is possible that I may have misheard some things.

Anyway, I got there like at 8:50 and after taking off my fucking studded belt and fishing keys out of my pocket to pass the metal detector, I finally sat myself down in the courtroom. But still no sign of Chris. In fact, I was almost expecting him to be a no show. I started jotting down my notes and everything, when I look up, wondering of he wasn't coming, when I hear close to me a VERY FAMILIAR VOICE. I look to my right, and sitting in the bench in front of meat the very end of it, I saw him. My face just lit up and I knew right then and there that the trip was worth it. This is the closest thing I'll ever experience to having met a movie star is basically my sentiment. And right in front of me was a woman whom at first I thought was either his attorney or even Rocky Shoemaker. I was wondering whom she was for the longest until, his PD showed up and asked to speak with her son. So confirmed Snorlax. Also, he didn't seem to be too pleased with the PD referring to him as male.

I can confirm what Zeonista saw and heard and indeed he was in full tomgirl attire. Ridiculous blue eyeshadow and all. Barb's red overcoat was covered in animal fur so I guess they must have pets. I can also confirm his constant sighing and nervousness. He couldn't stop shaking his leg. He also bore the same expression that he was wearing for his mugshot. He was obviously Stressed and displeased! There was even a moment when he kinda turned around and looked at me with what seemed to be suspicion. Was I that obvious? The guy with the faux vintage Star Wars Episode IV Hong Kong movie poster shirt and the notepad, writing down everything?

Like I said, it was a relatively noisy courtroom, so I couldn't catch the gist of most of the whispering. But I did catch him asking Barb that the PD and the judge should be made aware of the "troll problem". Like Zeonista, I couldn't help but smile. But he then went on in what seemed to be a rant about misogyny and misogynists. I guess he was hoping that the MALE judge wouldn't be such. What really called my attention was the way they carried on. If you didn't know they were mother and son, you could swear that they looked like a really creepy Cougar/Cub romantic relationship. The way they held each others backs, to him telling her "I love you". I was also able to notice that he was wearing a graduation ring. I guess from his high school? I couldn't make out the letters, but the stone was purple. He then said something about hoping that "he wasn't a chicken" and Barb replied that "he" won't be. I guess they were talking about the lawyer. Speaking of...

The PD was this handsome, lean dude in his mid to late 20's. Had curly hair and a trimmed beard. If you took off his suit and left his glasses on, he would make a great hipster at some microbrewery. The reason why I at first assumed that they hired him was because I noticed in Chris' Lego notebook a business card with a written phone number and the name of what looked to be "Max Rippoli" I knew it was Italian and the judge did utter a similar surname when telling Chris that said person couldn't defend him. The first name was definitely "Max" though. Barb's advice for Chris when in the Stand was to stand up straight and smile. Anyway, once the judge granted the continuance, I took that as my cue to leave and stand by to take visuals. So while I was outside, turning my phone on and trying to get the camera to work was when Zeonista witnessed what took place after I left and before they left.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Barb coming out of court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPhK5X_Fmko}}
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===2 April Hearing===
[[File:Cwcap.png|thumb|Chris entering court on April 2.]]
Chris began to attend his hearings alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the last hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes. In fact Chris left the courtroom before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what, if anything, actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance, and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. The account from forum member lipitor:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633790]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|We got down here took some pics of Christorical locations, those will come later. So we're heading to the courthouse and decide to stop at mcdonalds on the way (not the ruckersville one across from walmart), because it was on 29 toward c-ville. As we pull in we see a blue ford focus with the license plate "Sonichu". Brand new-ish too. Probably nicer than my car. It totally looked more like a decepticon than an autobot just for the record. My bud decides well, guess im going in for coffee. I stayed in the car. I'll let him tell you what he saw in there. I was sitting in the car when he came out. He was wearing those stupid my little pony sunglasses carrying two cups of coffee. He had a black cardigan thing on I think, but what was more noticable was his striped dress, it looked like someone stole the curtains from a freshman girl's dorm room and sewed it together haphazardly. It gave him noticable trouble when walking. He was wearing some type of lace up boots that were sort of high heels but not really, probably didnt help with the walking. He didn't seem to realize that in a dress his gait couldnt stride as wide and kept almost falling over and stumbling when his feet landed. Barb was strangely absent. He fucked around his car and went for the trunk. He pulled out one of those things for wiping your windshield, looked stolen from a gas station. I dont think he did anything with it just took it out and fumbled with it, put it back.

HeyyyJackiepie came out just as he was getting back in his car. We tried to lose him, but ended up taking turns following each other. Chris swerved out of the way of a crow in the street without looking into another lane. We just drove up to the crow like normal people and it flew away last minute, like they always do. We tried to lose him continually or at least tried to trail or get ahead of him but we were like right next to each other the same time. We took a wrong turn and lost him. We found a spot where you are actually allowed to park near the courthouse. (see Heyyyjackiepie's comment if you want to get that joke). He parked in nearly the same spot he did last time. He just sat there in his car, seemed like he was playing a game on his phone or some shit. He sat in there for nearly 30 minutes. We wanted to go in after him so we just waited in front of the door. From behind me I hear a string of like 9 stress sighs in a row. I turn around to see him. He had removed the MLP glasses and wore his normal ones now. Could see he was wearing nearly the same tights he did last time. We gave it a minute so he could go in and sit down. We go in there and he's just standing there at the metal detector. He had so much fucking jewelry to remove. like bracelets and necklaces it took forever for him to get them off. The clerk at the metal detector rolled his eyes at him while he was doing it. After he got done he just sat down in a chair in front of the court room but not in it. He was stress sighing and looking around nervously. God he really does stress sigh a lot. With great self discipline I was able to restrain my laughter. He looks more like a nerdy kid than woman or tranny up close. He looks like a teenager whose trying out an outlandish style for attention, but not totally confident in it or aware of what style is.

Anyway he finally fucking got up and went in and we went throught the metal detectors. By the time we got through I had just opened the court room door, he was coming back out and we almost bumped into each other. He said apologetically "well, got that out of the way quick" and dashed out the door to the courtroom. This was like 30 minutes before his hearing so we didnt know what to make of that. He had noticed us so we didn't know if he was trying to dodge us or what. So we just sat down and boring court stuff happened for like 10 or so minutes. We ended up leaving cuz it was clear he wasnt coming back. We saw he was still in his car. We walked around the building once and he was gone. We went back in to see if anything would be said about him, but they said nothing. Must have been a continuance. Chris is definitely not gonna have an outburst though guys. He's super nervous, maybe thats just cuz barb wasnt there I don't know.}}

The skinny according to heyyyJackiePie:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633832]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages,
This is my account of what happened today. First thing’s first: Chris was granted a continuance according to the Charlottesville General District Court website. We were unable to confirm what happened when we were there, but we will explain. But, although we didn’t actually observe Chris being called up in Court in front of the judge, we had multiple sightings of Chris and some pictures and a video which will be upload this evening. This is really long and contains several details, but I’d rather tell you guys everything that happened.

The day started out with a visit to the Ruckersville McDonalds where we captured some pictures of the nearby Wal-Mart, and Burger King – yes, the one Bob had breakfast at every day. We have plenty of pictures and videos with multiple angles and went inside for a coffee. It’s a small McDonalds and quite modern. There were a group of old men gathered around talking which seemed to be a regular meet up. I wonder if Bob had a similar group of friends at Burger King?

We continued down 29 and stopped by 14 Branchland and took multiple pictures from multiple angles. The house no longer has that red front like it used to so it wasn’t what I expected. In the “driveway” Barb’s Z-3 had a tarp half way over it implying it’s not regularly (read: ever) used. There was also the blue van too. But no blue Ford Focus. Chris was not there. The yard is what you would expect: disgusting and unkempt. We got some pictures of Patti’s doghouse with some writing on it “Patti Chandler rests here” or something. We drove by so many times doing drive by photography that we started to get paranoid and just got the hell out of there. We have plenty and plenty of pictures we will upload.

Being that Chris was not there and it was about 8am, this means that Chris could only be at one place… McDonalds. Although he regularly frequents the Ruckersville McDonalds, it is not on the way to Charlottesville so I speculated there was a 50/50 chance he was at the McDonalds about 5-7 minutes farther down 29 on the way to Charlottesville. We went past it and decided to U-turn to check it out really quickly. We saw a blue car and got excited, but we knew it would be too good to be true. There was a line of cars going through the drive-through blocking it from plain view, but we slowly pulled in to the McDonalds parking lot with a lot of excitement. We knew the only way to confirm was to see the license plate. As we slowly pulled up near his car, we saw “SONICHU” on his license plate and we both shouted like teenage girls as if One Direction just came out on stage. My heart was racing. This was it. This is it. This is not a drill. This will be something that comes up throughout this post, but we were super paranoid at this point and unsure whether to go in. What if he saw us? What if he was suspicious? I didn’t come this far to pussy out so I went in. I quickly identified him and immediately veered right into the bathroom. I pissed out all the coffee I drank up til then and mentally prepared myself. I am not exaggerating but I was feeling several emotions at once… excitement, thrill, paranoia, anxiety. I waited in line to order a coffee… the line was very long and I was hoping, hoping he wouldn’t leave. I finally got a coffee and sat directly behind him. He was alone, but had two drinks, so I suspected Barb was in the bathroom pooping. His hair was long and gangly and he looked similar to his current Facebook profile picture. He wore these multi-colored grotty tennis shoes and a long skirt. I don’t know women’s fashion, but it was like a skirt that went down to his shins. It was definitely a female thing and had these weird multi colors. It was obviously bought at the thift store. He also wore a black atlhletic-like jacket which seemed somewhat normal. I noticed he had blueish eyeliner or mascara that was clumsily applied. He was filling out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper and was quiet. There were tons of people in the McDonalds , but I still sneaked a picture of him from the back. It would have been impossible to take a picture from the front and I didn’t want to blow our cover before the hearing. After 7 minutes or so, he stress sighed as he got up. YES! I heard a stress sigh! I felt so happy inside. It sounded just like all his videos. I tried to get some video of him as I walked out to my car so I put my phone in my pocket and hit record to film a video with the camera lens sticking out. Unfortunately my phone slid into my pocket though so didn’t get anything L.

What happened next made us paranoid as hell again. On the way to the courthouse, it was like there was nothing we could do to not be directly behind him. We waited about 3 minutes after he left McDonalds and of course ended up directly behind him at the first traffic light. Just with the flow of traffic, we literally followed him to the courthouse and got some more video. We finally got to the courthouse and positioned ourselves basically where the guy who did the youtube video of him exiting the courthouse was standing. Chris stayed in his car for… it must have been twenty minutes. So we looked like the biggest bunch of suspicious dumbasses waiting around the front area while he was in his car. He couldn’t see us directly though. As time went on, we became so fucking paranoid that we thought Chris might have called the police of 911. The thinking was if he called 911 to report shovel mech, he definitely would have done it if he was suspicious of two MALES. So we started to walk away. Lipitor finally talked some sense into me. But right as we started walking, he started approaching the courthouse! I whipped out my phone pretending to be on a phone call while recording. I will upload it later and it’s not great, but there are a few moments where you can clearly see what he was wearing and him walking in. We also heard the loudest fucking stress sigh ever made. We were seriously like 30 yards away and heard this and started laughing. We walked in to the courthouse a few minutes later and FUCK MY LIFE he is going through security right in front of us. He was literally a few feet away from us. We panicked and went to the bathroom. After another coffee piss, I saw he was sitting on a bench right in front of the door to go into the courtroom which is immediately after you get through security. There was no way we were going near him at this point. So we waited another 3-4 minutes in the lounge area. We finally went through security when we noticed he wasn’t on the bench. After we get through security, the courtroom door flung open and he came out!… FUCK MY LIFE AGAIN. He walked right by us AGAIN. As we opened the courtroom door, he said to the jerkop at the metal detector “Well, got that over with quickly” and left. WTF. It’s 9:10am and his hearing was at 9:30. We waited in the courtroom for a few minutes, but decided to leave as we were completely confused. His car was still outside so we thought maybe he would come back in around 9:30am. We went back to the courtroom decided to wait. I know this sounds like a stupid move, but there were so many people coming in and out that no one paid attention and the courtroom was really noisy It was honestly like people coming in and out of a Starbucks. We listened to a few people go up, but it was impossible to tell what was happening and you couldn’t even hear their names despite being in the front row. We finally left at 9:45am and his car was still outside. We circled the block to get a better view while staying out of sight, but his car was gone when we got back. I noticed he parked in a spot with a sign the read “Parking for Judges Only”. Clear as fucking day. Entitled cunt. For the rest of the day, we’re going to hit all the major stops and get some photos. We’re also going to upload a photo to prove we’re not making this up.}}

<center><gallery>
File:ChrisatMcDs2.jpg|Chris in the McDonald's parking lot before the hearing.
File:ChrisatMcDs.jpg|Chris at McDonald's.
File:14bc215.jpg|Home sweet home.
</gallery></center>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Hearing (4-2-15)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MybN06jmIQg}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===7 May Hearing===
True to this prediction, this hearing resulted in another continuance, until 11 June. It lasted longer than the previous one. Chris was again spied at [[McDonalds]] before the hearing. Forum member lipitor's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/trials-and-tribulations.9677/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Maybe you've seen the picture maybe you haven't but Chris's court room outfit was absolutely ridiculous. It was a girl scout green/teal color and cut worn over a white t-shirt. The cut was just above the knees. Christian wore dirty old sneakers with old gym socks with this. He also had a matching hat that was the same color as his dress. It looked like something an old lady would wear to church. You could tell by his face that he thought he looked cute as shit while wearing that hat, but he looked like a fucking moron. He didn't wear it inside the courthouse, even though women are allowed to wear hats inside.

The inside the courthouse is sort of set up like an old catholic church with pew seating. Christian sat near the front with his back to the side wall so he could scope everyone in there out. Saw him lock eyes on some dude and pull his phone out and text someone (more on who later). You're not allowed to have phones with cameras so he had a flip phone with him. It took fucking hours for them to finally get to his case. When they finally did he got very nervous. They kept calling him by both male and female pronouns at different times. They called him Chris/Christian/Christine and a couple of times Crystal (I know Crystal is his daughter, but apparently the judge accidentally called him that a few times, and I was in no position to correct the man). Christian didn't seemed phased by any of this and went with whatever name/pronoun used at the time. They talked forever and it was mostly just establishing what happened and what the charge was. So it was hard to hear, so the next part is a bit speculative. It sounded like the reason for the continuance was because they wanted Christian to see a shrink/counselor/whatever so they could do a mental health plea. They wanted him to go like right after court too. He seemed to agree to this at the time. Like I said I couldn't hear the exact details of what was going on so it might be a bit different. Feel free to sperg out over what all that means.

Here's the best part. On the way out my field agent was confronted by some lady. She asked the field agent what they were doing there and what their name was. She said she was a reporter. My field agent was like "yeah I'm not telling you that". She shifted tone and said she just wanted to buy my field agent a cup of coffee and hear his story...:stupid: She wanted to know why a community of people on the internet literally document everything in his life. An interview was declined...}}

===11 June Hearing===
This hearing was also quickly continued, until 23 July. The Christorian in attendance described Chris as uncharacteristically sociable and collected, perhaps because his forays in the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] have made him more comfortable around people. The account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/6-11-court-hearing.10108/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
I attended the court hearing this morning....

Chris's hearing was to begin at 9:30. The courthouse opened for business at 9:00. I got there at 9:05, sat down, and realized Chris was already in the room, sitting across from me. Let me proffer the opinion that Chris passes as a woman. An ugly, frowsy, dumpy, old-fashioned, middle-aged woman to be sure, but there are many women like this, so therefore Chris passes. In a public setting like the courtroom, where you don't give people a close inspection, there would be no reason not to assume that the lump sitting over there was a woman. The five 0'clock shadow is easily visible from a distance, which would be your first clue that something was unusual.

He was wearing an aqua blue outfit with matching eyeshadow. Blue sweater, blue collared blouse with vertical stripes, blue skirt with vertical stripes, dark stockings. Everything matched well except for his grotty sneakers, which are blue but the wrong shade. He shouldn't have been wearing sneakers anyhow with this outfit. He had his typical ugly dark nail polish, two rings on his right hand, and some kind of multicolored bracelet on his left wrist. He had a headband, and his hair looked the way it has in all his recent photos. He wore his glasses. He had his black purse with all the jangly shit hanging off it. He was reading something; I couldn't tell what it was at first, but when he stood up it turned out to be the issue of Vanity Fair with Ms. Caitlyn Jenner on the cover. He uses his index finger to help him read.

Chris has a weird body type. He's pudgy, but his forearms and ankles are really skinny, so the weight gathers in the center of his body. He looks kind of like Mr. Peanut. His breasts are as small as ever and there was zero evidence of gainz.

When I first arrived there was a middle-aged woman sitting next to him. I assumed she was his public defender, but as soon as the judge arrived (at the same time I did), she went up to speak with the judge and left the room. Before she left, Chris said to her, "I'm Christine, by the way." The woman introduced herself to Chris and said goodbye. So Chris had apparently initiated smalltalk. A few minutes later Chris did a little handwave to a female lawyer who walked in, who returned the wave. He seemed to be checking out every woman who entered the courtroom.

The judge stuck around for just a few minutes and left again. A cop went around the room to ask everyone, "Are you set for 9:30?" When she asked Chris, he said, "Huh?" She repeated the question, and Chris said, "Um, yeah, I believe so."

The courtroom is small and as other field agents have mentioned, the mood is relaxed and casual, or as much as it can be with seven jerkops hanging around and three guys in the front row with manacled ankles and wrists. The judge is a black woman. She handled one case regarding probation violation before 9:30, which was done very casually and informally, while the other lawyerfolk had quiet chats and shot the breeze with the sheriffs. For the most part everyone just sat around.

The main reason why I made the last-minute decision to attend was that he's been enraged about the new blarms game, and I was hoping he'd show up with a sign demanding justice for transsexuals or something equally dramatic. Chris's mood was entirely the opposite. He was self-contained, calm, and collected. He was not angry, stressed, or nervous. He was not fidgety. It was very hard to believe that this was the person who just the day before had expressed a public wish to beat up Sega executives. He sat and read his magazine. At one point something he was reading caught his interest and he said "Hm!" suddenly, causing the woman sitting next to him (a different one) to turn her head to look at him. He seemed somewhat bored. He yawned twice, loudly, putting his hand over his mouth, which struck me as rather self-indulgent and overly dramatic.

Around 9:40, after a couple quiet cases, they called "Christian Chandler." At this point the lawyer who had defended the probation violator walked over to Chris and escorted him to the front, revealing himself as the public defender. He is young, skinny, bearded, wore tweed. He seems like a good guy, pretty relaxed. He looks like he knows his way around a college debate tournament. Right then three lawyers decided to sit down right in front of me and hold a conference, making it difficult to hear what was said. It was apparent that the first words out of the judge's mouth was that there was a continuance. Chris asked a question. The judge said it would be dealt with at the next hearing, and that he should stay in touch with his lawyer. She and the lawyer wore big patronizing smiles. They treated him like a sensitive child. Their attitude was, "Everyone is your friend, no one wants to attack you." In the previous probation case, the judge was serious and all business, because she was speaking with an adult. Here, even though macing someone is also pretty serious business, she knew she was dealing with a special individual and it was pointless to deal with him normally. So Chris has basically already won over the judge. I predict that, for better or worse, he will receive psychological treatment and very little punishment.

Chris's attorney walked him out of the courtroom, and I followed them out. They hung out on the front porch for about a minute to cover some issues. He told Chris that for the next hearing, "Be a little early like you were today." Another lawyer, a pretty young woman, joined them, and she was also all smiles. Chris complimented her clothing, and she replied, "I like your color too."

Then Chris walked the 100 feet to the curb, and I realized that Son-Chu was sitting right there, shiny and new and as blue as Sonic's arms. Since there was some controversy earlier, let me clarify that Chris is not parking illegally. The handicapped spot is adjacent to the judge's spot, and the sign is clearly marked. Chris is legally allowed to park in the handicapped spot because of his atismu. I had to pay five bucks to park in a garage two blocks away.

He sat in his car for about a minute, and then drove off.

For me the most remarkable thing was how much progress Chris has made in getting over his social anxiety. He was very eager to initiate contact with any pretty woman he saw. I think it's something he should be proud of--he's not the same guy who had to post a sign on the wall because of his noviophobia. This is actually a proven method for overcoming social anxiety--the more experience you have in talking to strangers, the easier it becomes. Of course, none of this will help him find a sweetheart, because while Chris is friendly, he's also immediately off-putting. He's instantly recognizable as a weirdo.}}

===23 July Hearing===
Another continuance, until 15 October, although the Christorian in attendance noted something was said about going to a therapist. Aside from this, he noted that Chris [[Cakefarts|farted]] very loudly in the middle of court, accompanied by that signature [[Stress sigh|sigh]]. Unlike the three previous hearings which Chris attended alone, Barb and a middle-aged woman thought to be [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] were also there. The Christorian was also harassed by an [[White knight|unidentified young woman]] [[Allison Amber|in red]] who tried to prevent him from filming Chris and Barb outside (where he had every right to do so) and asked about his behavior.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Leaves Court 7/23/2015
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7RmLoJ7uki0}}
| stardate = 23 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris' Latest White Knight
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yZXipnejEQY}}
| stardate = 28 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:GameStopCville.jpg|The store in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], site of the incident.
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
</gallery></center>

==[[Fan Art]]==
<center><gallery>
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
File:Chris's strut.png|Fighting the law requires fashion!
File:Chris_in_court.jpeg| Meanwhile at Chris's trial...
File:Sonichulector1.jpg| Chris after the trial...
File:Sonichulecto3.jpg| Well Trolls, Have the lambs stopped screaming?
File:Sonichulecto2.jpg| You may be the top Graduate from The FBI Academy, but he is the most twisted and cunning criminal the world has known.
File:Phantom_Stress.jpg| Sonichu, I'm already a demon.
</gallery></center>

===[[Miiverse]] Art===
<center><gallery>
File:Ween9.png
File:Ween11.png
File:Ween12.png
File:Ween14.png
File:FileWeen15.png
File:Ween17.png
File:Ween20.png
</gallery></center>

==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.'']

'''Clerk''': [''to customer at register''] 22.10 [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays James Herring, the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.'']

'''Manager''': That guy wants to buy 2... [''trails off, realizing what just happened.'']

'''James''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP 5-7, APC--[''mumbling'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ''???'' mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with Christopher Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Don't Call Anyone Experience
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R-Ws9ESBA0U}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| maker = C Chan
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Brushfire Video]]|nextlink=[[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2015-08-23T04:46:31Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* monozettai's Account */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|[[It's UGH!|Ugh!!!]] I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!|[[Chris]]'s justification for his actions.}}
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[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Netflix]] [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was a truly infamous day in Chris's life, and his most action-packed since he [[Graduation|graduated high school]]. Essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again, Chris was [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once more for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] at [[The GAMe PLACe|a video game store]], this time with pepper spray<ref>[https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1424389574456&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Virginia general court records]</ref>. The attack was the culmination of his months-long [[Sonic Boom Protests|crusade]] to change the arm color of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]. Chris's fans wait with bated breath to see what, if any, punishment he will receive, and whether he will learn anything from it.

==Synopsis==
[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, seconds before the assault.]]
By the time of his arrest, Chris had already been engaging in various local [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest actions]], including vandalism, to force merchants to stop selling Sonic Boom. He had been banned from every GameStop within driving distance of his [[Rental House|temporary home]]. Nevertheless, on the day after Christmas, on a trip to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with his mother, Chris visited the GameStop outlet. While he claimed it was to investigate some "Skylanders" merchandise, staff claimed he had committed acts of vandalism before, and they were on the lookout for him. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple [[My Little Pony]]-[[Chris and brand loyalty|branded]] [[Chris and fashion|sunglasses designed for little girls]], apparently as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]. After arguing with staff, he strode towards the store entrance, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" Just before he left, he brandished a pink can of pepper spray, and sprayed assistant manager (or "[[CWCism|Ass Manager]]", as Chris would later call him) James Herring. Herring was later confirmed to be unharmed, although he did leave work after the incident.

Most of the information on what happened in the next hour comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner (below), and details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking [[Kaka Makeup Basics|JCPenney]] and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police talked with Barbara, who was still at the mall eating, which implies that he left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Chris was arrested on the same day, at [[Rental House|home]].

On Sunday 28 December, a member of [[Kiwi Farms]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that Herring would be pressing charges. After his weekend in jail, Chris was charged with his Class 6 felony, posted the $2500 bail, and was released on recognizance.

==monozettai's Account==
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
The internet learned of the above drama when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded an on-the-scene video (below).<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip, Chris, clad in full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by macing a man who is clearly not threatening Chris in any way. The clip became a minor viral hit, earning over 250,000 views as of June 2015. It is one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]]. Chris did nothing to get the video taken down, perhaps being aware of the [[wikipedia:Streisand effect|Streisand effect]].

After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say:

{{quoteboxred|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Chris's Account==
[[File:Ween13.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Chris and Reality|Oh, really?]]]]
{{quote|[[List of Chris's lies|I WAS the Victim]]|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}
Immediately after his release from the pokey, Chris rushed to his keyboard to perform damage control. Not surprisingly, he refused to admit any fault. Bizarrely, while he claimed ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, he also admitted that he had sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident. He also tried to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see. Even his [[white knights]] condemned his actions. It seemed that this time around, everyone was against him.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Sensory Overload|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

==The Charges==
[[File:Cwc_arrest_record.png|thumb|left|Chris's court records]]
This is the case against Chris, according to the [https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Albermarle General District Court].

{{quotebox|CHARGE: DANGEROUS GAS UNLAWFUL RELEASE (§ 18.2-312. Illegal use of tear gas, phosgene and other gases.) "If any person maliciously release or cause or procure to be released in any private home, place of business or place of public gathering any tear gas, mustard gas, phosgene gas or other noxious or nauseating gases or mixtures of chemicals designed to, and capable of, producing vile or injurious or nauseating odors or gases, and bodily injury results to any person from such gas or odor, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

"If such act be done unlawfully, but not maliciously, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony."<ref>Code of Virginia: http://leg1.state.va.us/000/src.htm</ref>}}

For a Class 6 felony conviction, Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500,<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM]</ref> in addition to all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

The 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously." Chris was fortunate to avoid the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which deals with malicious intent, and carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. Chris may be allowed to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence, with probation, counseling, anger management and/or community service in lieu of jail time.

Having squandered [[Bob]]'s inheritance on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the [[28 October 2011]], Chris has been forced this time around to work with a public defender.

==Chris Returns to the Front==
On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms exposed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Wal-Mart]] on that date, and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed by Chris himself, who indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "[[Chris and his ego|badass]]." This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceived himself as invincible so long as he could issue credible threats. Was it possible that Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability, previously confined to the comics, had [[Chris and reality|seeped into his conscious psyche]]?

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, once again painting himself as the victim and wishing that people would like him, despite his past actions. He argued that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the [[Death|deaths]] of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

==Subsequent court hearings==
[[File:Hearings.png|left|thumb|400px|Chris's hearing schedule.]]
Chris had had several hearings related to this case, stretching into the summer of 2015.<ref>https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003</ref> His fans are frustrated at the slow pace of justice.

===29 December Hearing===
At the video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on bond. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge had placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any GameStop outlet or contacting any of the company's employees.<ref>[[January 2015 Facebook posts#A No-Contact Order Apparently Goes Both Ways]]</ref>

===5 February Hearing===
[[File:CWCtrial.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after their 5 February hearing.]]
His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief, as the Chandlers appeared to been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing and thereby pissing off the court by holding up the next case. Footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court, the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

Zeonista's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-16#post-527528]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|I sat in the back of the courtroom, since I was trying really hard to be inconspicuous, but as a result of that it was hard for me to hear much of anything. I can't give you much in the way of specific dialogue... Rammspieler (at least, the person I believe was him) had a better vantage point, so expect more from him there.

Anyway, Chris WAS wearing women's clothes, but didn't look like as much of a disaster as usual. He was wearing a black cardigan and long dark-blue skirt with white stripes, along with dark-blue leggings and a pair of tan boots. His hair still looked pretty terrible, pretty much the same as it was in his mugshot. Barb was with him, wearing what looked like a red wool coat.

Chris looked pretty nervous while he was waiting for things to get started. He was fidgeting a lot and kept leaning over to ask her questions. I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside.

They called Chris up pretty quickly - his case was one of the first ones to go through. Naturally, even though there were 2 or 3 female PDs in the courtroom, Chris got the one BRUTE MALE of the lot. He was summoned as "Mr. Chandler," which I doubt he liked much. I heard the PD make a brief comment about Chris' appearance, but didn't hear exactly what was said.

The PD, Chris, and the judge spoke with each other for about 2 minutes, and eventually the ruling was for a continuation on April 2nd. The two of them left the courtroom, only to come back in about a minute or two later, with Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?" I guess Barb had already forgotten the date of the next hearing, or maybe she thought they needed to come back later in the day for something. Anyway, she and Chris spoke to the PD for another minute or two. I heard the PD say this to them: "I said you're free to go... Yes, it's April 2nd. April 2nd, I can write that down for you if you want." He looked just a little annoyed, because even this short exchange was enough to hold things up. Chris and Barb were blocking the middle of the courtroom while this was happening, and the judge had to ask them to move out of the way so the next guy up could get through.

The two of them left a little while later. All Chris had to say on his way out was "Welp," accompanied by a stress sigh.}}

Rammspieler's write-up:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-22#post-528260]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
Despite the continuance of the case until April 2nd, I'm glad to have been there and have been in the presence of Manbaby and Barb themselves. I wish I was a better videographer/photographer and had taken better shots of them, all I got was a video of them leaving court as well as a video of 14 BC.

I'm also glad that Zeonista posted and filled in for the details I wasn't able to pick up on. But the truth is that it was a very "active" courtroom and everybody was moving around and whispering to each other, so it is possible that I may have misheard some things.

Anyway, I got there like at 8:50 and after taking off my fucking studded belt and fishing keys out of my pocket to pass the metal detector, I finally sat myself down in the courtroom. But still no sign of Chris. In fact, I was almost expecting him to be a no show. I started jotting down my notes and everything, when I look up, wondering of he wasn't coming, when I hear close to me a VERY FAMILIAR VOICE. I look to my right, and sitting in the bench in front of meat the very end of it, I saw him. My face just lit up and I knew right then and there that the trip was worth it. This is the closest thing I'll ever experience to having met a movie star is basically my sentiment. And right in front of me was a woman whom at first I thought was either his attorney or even Rocky Shoemaker. I was wondering whom she was for the longest until, his PD showed up and asked to speak with her son. So confirmed Snorlax. Also, he didn't seem to be too pleased with the PD referring to him as male.

I can confirm what Zeonista saw and heard and indeed he was in full tomgirl attire. Ridiculous blue eyeshadow and all. Barb's red overcoat was covered in animal fur so I guess they must have pets. I can also confirm his constant sighing and nervousness. He couldn't stop shaking his leg. He also bore the same expression that he was wearing for his mugshot. He was obviously Stressed and displeased! There was even a moment when he kinda turned around and looked at me with what seemed to be suspicion. Was I that obvious? The guy with the faux vintage Star Wars Episode IV Hong Kong movie poster shirt and the notepad, writing down everything?

Like I said, it was a relatively noisy courtroom, so I couldn't catch the gist of most of the whispering. But I did catch him asking Barb that the PD and the judge should be made aware of the "troll problem". Like Zeonista, I couldn't help but smile. But he then went on in what seemed to be a rant about misogyny and misogynists. I guess he was hoping that the MALE judge wouldn't be such. What really called my attention was the way they carried on. If you didn't know they were mother and son, you could swear that they looked like a really creepy Cougar/Cub romantic relationship. The way they held each others backs, to him telling her "I love you". I was also able to notice that he was wearing a graduation ring. I guess from his high school? I couldn't make out the letters, but the stone was purple. He then said something about hoping that "he wasn't a chicken" and Barb replied that "he" won't be. I guess they were talking about the lawyer. Speaking of...

The PD was this handsome, lean dude in his mid to late 20's. Had curly hair and a trimmed beard. If you took off his suit and left his glasses on, he would make a great hipster at some microbrewery. The reason why I at first assumed that they hired him was because I noticed in Chris' Lego notebook a business card with a written phone number and the name of what looked to be "Max Rippoli" I knew it was Italian and the judge did utter a similar surname when telling Chris that said person couldn't defend him. The first name was definitely "Max" though. Barb's advice for Chris when in the Stand was to stand up straight and smile. Anyway, once the judge granted the continuance, I took that as my cue to leave and stand by to take visuals. So while I was outside, turning my phone on and trying to get the camera to work was when Zeonista witnessed what took place after I left and before they left.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Barb coming out of court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPhK5X_Fmko}}
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===2 April Hearing===
[[File:Cwcap.png|thumb|Chris entering court on April 2.]]
Chris began to attend his hearings alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the last hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes. In fact Chris left the courtroom before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what, if anything, actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance, and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. The account from forum member lipitor:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633790]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|We got down here took some pics of Christorical locations, those will come later. So we're heading to the courthouse and decide to stop at mcdonalds on the way (not the ruckersville one across from walmart), because it was on 29 toward c-ville. As we pull in we see a blue ford focus with the license plate "Sonichu". Brand new-ish too. Probably nicer than my car. It totally looked more like a decepticon than an autobot just for the record. My bud decides well, guess im going in for coffee. I stayed in the car. I'll let him tell you what he saw in there. I was sitting in the car when he came out. He was wearing those stupid my little pony sunglasses carrying two cups of coffee. He had a black cardigan thing on I think, but what was more noticable was his striped dress, it looked like someone stole the curtains from a freshman girl's dorm room and sewed it together haphazardly. It gave him noticable trouble when walking. He was wearing some type of lace up boots that were sort of high heels but not really, probably didnt help with the walking. He didn't seem to realize that in a dress his gait couldnt stride as wide and kept almost falling over and stumbling when his feet landed. Barb was strangely absent. He fucked around his car and went for the trunk. He pulled out one of those things for wiping your windshield, looked stolen from a gas station. I dont think he did anything with it just took it out and fumbled with it, put it back.

HeyyyJackiepie came out just as he was getting back in his car. We tried to lose him, but ended up taking turns following each other. Chris swerved out of the way of a crow in the street without looking into another lane. We just drove up to the crow like normal people and it flew away last minute, like they always do. We tried to lose him continually or at least tried to trail or get ahead of him but we were like right next to each other the same time. We took a wrong turn and lost him. We found a spot where you are actually allowed to park near the courthouse. (see Heyyyjackiepie's comment if you want to get that joke). He parked in nearly the same spot he did last time. He just sat there in his car, seemed like he was playing a game on his phone or some shit. He sat in there for nearly 30 minutes. We wanted to go in after him so we just waited in front of the door. From behind me I hear a string of like 9 stress sighs in a row. I turn around to see him. He had removed the MLP glasses and wore his normal ones now. Could see he was wearing nearly the same tights he did last time. We gave it a minute so he could go in and sit down. We go in there and he's just standing there at the metal detector. He had so much fucking jewelry to remove. like bracelets and necklaces it took forever for him to get them off. The clerk at the metal detector rolled his eyes at him while he was doing it. After he got done he just sat down in a chair in front of the court room but not in it. He was stress sighing and looking around nervously. God he really does stress sigh a lot. With great self discipline I was able to restrain my laughter. He looks more like a nerdy kid than woman or tranny up close. He looks like a teenager whose trying out an outlandish style for attention, but not totally confident in it or aware of what style is.

Anyway he finally fucking got up and went in and we went throught the metal detectors. By the time we got through I had just opened the court room door, he was coming back out and we almost bumped into each other. He said apologetically "well, got that out of the way quick" and dashed out the door to the courtroom. This was like 30 minutes before his hearing so we didnt know what to make of that. He had noticed us so we didn't know if he was trying to dodge us or what. So we just sat down and boring court stuff happened for like 10 or so minutes. We ended up leaving cuz it was clear he wasnt coming back. We saw he was still in his car. We walked around the building once and he was gone. We went back in to see if anything would be said about him, but they said nothing. Must have been a continuance. Chris is definitely not gonna have an outburst though guys. He's super nervous, maybe thats just cuz barb wasnt there I don't know.}}

The skinny according to heyyyJackiePie:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633832]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages,
This is my account of what happened today. First thing’s first: Chris was granted a continuance according to the Charlottesville General District Court website. We were unable to confirm what happened when we were there, but we will explain. But, although we didn’t actually observe Chris being called up in Court in front of the judge, we had multiple sightings of Chris and some pictures and a video which will be upload this evening. This is really long and contains several details, but I’d rather tell you guys everything that happened.

The day started out with a visit to the Ruckersville McDonalds where we captured some pictures of the nearby Wal-Mart, and Burger King – yes, the one Bob had breakfast at every day. We have plenty of pictures and videos with multiple angles and went inside for a coffee. It’s a small McDonalds and quite modern. There were a group of old men gathered around talking which seemed to be a regular meet up. I wonder if Bob had a similar group of friends at Burger King?

We continued down 29 and stopped by 14 Branchland and took multiple pictures from multiple angles. The house no longer has that red front like it used to so it wasn’t what I expected. In the “driveway” Barb’s Z-3 had a tarp half way over it implying it’s not regularly (read: ever) used. There was also the blue van too. But no blue Ford Focus. Chris was not there. The yard is what you would expect: disgusting and unkempt. We got some pictures of Patti’s doghouse with some writing on it “Patti Chandler rests here” or something. We drove by so many times doing drive by photography that we started to get paranoid and just got the hell out of there. We have plenty and plenty of pictures we will upload.

Being that Chris was not there and it was about 8am, this means that Chris could only be at one place… McDonalds. Although he regularly frequents the Ruckersville McDonalds, it is not on the way to Charlottesville so I speculated there was a 50/50 chance he was at the McDonalds about 5-7 minutes farther down 29 on the way to Charlottesville. We went past it and decided to U-turn to check it out really quickly. We saw a blue car and got excited, but we knew it would be too good to be true. There was a line of cars going through the drive-through blocking it from plain view, but we slowly pulled in to the McDonalds parking lot with a lot of excitement. We knew the only way to confirm was to see the license plate. As we slowly pulled up near his car, we saw “SONICHU” on his license plate and we both shouted like teenage girls as if One Direction just came out on stage. My heart was racing. This was it. This is it. This is not a drill. This will be something that comes up throughout this post, but we were super paranoid at this point and unsure whether to go in. What if he saw us? What if he was suspicious? I didn’t come this far to pussy out so I went in. I quickly identified him and immediately veered right into the bathroom. I pissed out all the coffee I drank up til then and mentally prepared myself. I am not exaggerating but I was feeling several emotions at once… excitement, thrill, paranoia, anxiety. I waited in line to order a coffee… the line was very long and I was hoping, hoping he wouldn’t leave. I finally got a coffee and sat directly behind him. He was alone, but had two drinks, so I suspected Barb was in the bathroom pooping. His hair was long and gangly and he looked similar to his current Facebook profile picture. He wore these multi-colored grotty tennis shoes and a long skirt. I don’t know women’s fashion, but it was like a skirt that went down to his shins. It was definitely a female thing and had these weird multi colors. It was obviously bought at the thift store. He also wore a black atlhletic-like jacket which seemed somewhat normal. I noticed he had blueish eyeliner or mascara that was clumsily applied. He was filling out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper and was quiet. There were tons of people in the McDonalds , but I still sneaked a picture of him from the back. It would have been impossible to take a picture from the front and I didn’t want to blow our cover before the hearing. After 7 minutes or so, he stress sighed as he got up. YES! I heard a stress sigh! I felt so happy inside. It sounded just like all his videos. I tried to get some video of him as I walked out to my car so I put my phone in my pocket and hit record to film a video with the camera lens sticking out. Unfortunately my phone slid into my pocket though so didn’t get anything L.

What happened next made us paranoid as hell again. On the way to the courthouse, it was like there was nothing we could do to not be directly behind him. We waited about 3 minutes after he left McDonalds and of course ended up directly behind him at the first traffic light. Just with the flow of traffic, we literally followed him to the courthouse and got some more video. We finally got to the courthouse and positioned ourselves basically where the guy who did the youtube video of him exiting the courthouse was standing. Chris stayed in his car for… it must have been twenty minutes. So we looked like the biggest bunch of suspicious dumbasses waiting around the front area while he was in his car. He couldn’t see us directly though. As time went on, we became so fucking paranoid that we thought Chris might have called the police of 911. The thinking was if he called 911 to report shovel mech, he definitely would have done it if he was suspicious of two MALES. So we started to walk away. Lipitor finally talked some sense into me. But right as we started walking, he started approaching the courthouse! I whipped out my phone pretending to be on a phone call while recording. I will upload it later and it’s not great, but there are a few moments where you can clearly see what he was wearing and him walking in. We also heard the loudest fucking stress sigh ever made. We were seriously like 30 yards away and heard this and started laughing. We walked in to the courthouse a few minutes later and FUCK MY LIFE he is going through security right in front of us. He was literally a few feet away from us. We panicked and went to the bathroom. After another coffee piss, I saw he was sitting on a bench right in front of the door to go into the courtroom which is immediately after you get through security. There was no way we were going near him at this point. So we waited another 3-4 minutes in the lounge area. We finally went through security when we noticed he wasn’t on the bench. After we get through security, the courtroom door flung open and he came out!… FUCK MY LIFE AGAIN. He walked right by us AGAIN. As we opened the courtroom door, he said to the jerkop at the metal detector “Well, got that over with quickly” and left. WTF. It’s 9:10am and his hearing was at 9:30. We waited in the courtroom for a few minutes, but decided to leave as we were completely confused. His car was still outside so we thought maybe he would come back in around 9:30am. We went back to the courtroom decided to wait. I know this sounds like a stupid move, but there were so many people coming in and out that no one paid attention and the courtroom was really noisy It was honestly like people coming in and out of a Starbucks. We listened to a few people go up, but it was impossible to tell what was happening and you couldn’t even hear their names despite being in the front row. We finally left at 9:45am and his car was still outside. We circled the block to get a better view while staying out of sight, but his car was gone when we got back. I noticed he parked in a spot with a sign the read “Parking for Judges Only”. Clear as fucking day. Entitled cunt. For the rest of the day, we’re going to hit all the major stops and get some photos. We’re also going to upload a photo to prove we’re not making this up.}}

<center><gallery>
File:ChrisatMcDs2.jpg|Chris in the McDonald's parking lot before the hearing.
File:ChrisatMcDs.jpg|Chris at McDonald's.
File:14bc215.jpg|Home sweet home.
</gallery></center>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Hearing (4-2-15)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MybN06jmIQg}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===7 May Hearing===
True to this prediction, this hearing resulted in another continuance, until 11 June. It lasted longer than the previous one. Chris was again spied at [[McDonalds]] before the hearing. Forum member lipitor's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/trials-and-tribulations.9677/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Maybe you've seen the picture maybe you haven't but Chris's court room outfit was absolutely ridiculous. It was a girl scout green/teal color and cut worn over a white t-shirt. The cut was just above the knees. Christian wore dirty old sneakers with old gym socks with this. He also had a matching hat that was the same color as his dress. It looked like something an old lady would wear to church. You could tell by his face that he thought he looked cute as shit while wearing that hat, but he looked like a fucking moron. He didn't wear it inside the courthouse, even though women are allowed to wear hats inside.

The inside the courthouse is sort of set up like an old catholic church with pew seating. Christian sat near the front with his back to the side wall so he could scope everyone in there out. Saw him lock eyes on some dude and pull his phone out and text someone (more on who later). You're not allowed to have phones with cameras so he had a flip phone with him. It took fucking hours for them to finally get to his case. When they finally did he got very nervous. They kept calling him by both male and female pronouns at different times. They called him Chris/Christian/Christine and a couple of times Crystal (I know Crystal is his daughter, but apparently the judge accidentally called him that a few times, and I was in no position to correct the man). Christian didn't seemed phased by any of this and went with whatever name/pronoun used at the time. They talked forever and it was mostly just establishing what happened and what the charge was. So it was hard to hear, so the next part is a bit speculative. It sounded like the reason for the continuance was because they wanted Christian to see a shrink/counselor/whatever so they could do a mental health plea. They wanted him to go like right after court too. He seemed to agree to this at the time. Like I said I couldn't hear the exact details of what was going on so it might be a bit different. Feel free to sperg out over what all that means.

Here's the best part. On the way out my field agent was confronted by some lady. She asked the field agent what they were doing there and what their name was. She said she was a reporter. My field agent was like "yeah I'm not telling you that". She shifted tone and said she just wanted to buy my field agent a cup of coffee and hear his story...:stupid: She wanted to know why a community of people on the internet literally document everything in his life. An interview was declined...}}

===11 June Hearing===
This hearing was also quickly continued, until 23 July. The Christorian in attendance described Chris as uncharacteristically sociable and collected, perhaps because his forays in the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] have made him more comfortable around people. The account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/6-11-court-hearing.10108/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
I attended the court hearing this morning....

Chris's hearing was to begin at 9:30. The courthouse opened for business at 9:00. I got there at 9:05, sat down, and realized Chris was already in the room, sitting across from me. Let me proffer the opinion that Chris passes as a woman. An ugly, frowsy, dumpy, old-fashioned, middle-aged woman to be sure, but there are many women like this, so therefore Chris passes. In a public setting like the courtroom, where you don't give people a close inspection, there would be no reason not to assume that the lump sitting over there was a woman. The five 0'clock shadow is easily visible from a distance, which would be your first clue that something was unusual.

He was wearing an aqua blue outfit with matching eyeshadow. Blue sweater, blue collared blouse with vertical stripes, blue skirt with vertical stripes, dark stockings. Everything matched well except for his grotty sneakers, which are blue but the wrong shade. He shouldn't have been wearing sneakers anyhow with this outfit. He had his typical ugly dark nail polish, two rings on his right hand, and some kind of multicolored bracelet on his left wrist. He had a headband, and his hair looked the way it has in all his recent photos. He wore his glasses. He had his black purse with all the jangly shit hanging off it. He was reading something; I couldn't tell what it was at first, but when he stood up it turned out to be the issue of Vanity Fair with Ms. Caitlyn Jenner on the cover. He uses his index finger to help him read.

Chris has a weird body type. He's pudgy, but his forearms and ankles are really skinny, so the weight gathers in the center of his body. He looks kind of like Mr. Peanut. His breasts are as small as ever and there was zero evidence of gainz.

When I first arrived there was a middle-aged woman sitting next to him. I assumed she was his public defender, but as soon as the judge arrived (at the same time I did), she went up to speak with the judge and left the room. Before she left, Chris said to her, "I'm Christine, by the way." The woman introduced herself to Chris and said goodbye. So Chris had apparently initiated smalltalk. A few minutes later Chris did a little handwave to a female lawyer who walked in, who returned the wave. He seemed to be checking out every woman who entered the courtroom.

The judge stuck around for just a few minutes and left again. A cop went around the room to ask everyone, "Are you set for 9:30?" When she asked Chris, he said, "Huh?" She repeated the question, and Chris said, "Um, yeah, I believe so."

The courtroom is small and as other field agents have mentioned, the mood is relaxed and casual, or as much as it can be with seven jerkops hanging around and three guys in the front row with manacled ankles and wrists. The judge is a black woman. She handled one case regarding probation violation before 9:30, which was done very casually and informally, while the other lawyerfolk had quiet chats and shot the breeze with the sheriffs. For the most part everyone just sat around.

The main reason why I made the last-minute decision to attend was that he's been enraged about the new blarms game, and I was hoping he'd show up with a sign demanding justice for transsexuals or something equally dramatic. Chris's mood was entirely the opposite. He was self-contained, calm, and collected. He was not angry, stressed, or nervous. He was not fidgety. It was very hard to believe that this was the person who just the day before had expressed a public wish to beat up Sega executives. He sat and read his magazine. At one point something he was reading caught his interest and he said "Hm!" suddenly, causing the woman sitting next to him (a different one) to turn her head to look at him. He seemed somewhat bored. He yawned twice, loudly, putting his hand over his mouth, which struck me as rather self-indulgent and overly dramatic.

Around 9:40, after a couple quiet cases, they called "Christian Chandler." At this point the lawyer who had defended the probation violator walked over to Chris and escorted him to the front, revealing himself as the public defender. He is young, skinny, bearded, wore tweed. He seems like a good guy, pretty relaxed. He looks like he knows his way around a college debate tournament. Right then three lawyers decided to sit down right in front of me and hold a conference, making it difficult to hear what was said. It was apparent that the first words out of the judge's mouth was that there was a continuance. Chris asked a question. The judge said it would be dealt with at the next hearing, and that he should stay in touch with his lawyer. She and the lawyer wore big patronizing smiles. They treated him like a sensitive child. Their attitude was, "Everyone is your friend, no one wants to attack you." In the previous probation case, the judge was serious and all business, because she was speaking with an adult. Here, even though macing someone is also pretty serious business, she knew she was dealing with a special individual and it was pointless to deal with him normally. So Chris has basically already won over the judge. I predict that, for better or worse, he will receive psychological treatment and very little punishment.

Chris's attorney walked him out of the courtroom, and I followed them out. They hung out on the front porch for about a minute to cover some issues. He told Chris that for the next hearing, "Be a little early like you were today." Another lawyer, a pretty young woman, joined them, and she was also all smiles. Chris complimented her clothing, and she replied, "I like your color too."

Then Chris walked the 100 feet to the curb, and I realized that Son-Chu was sitting right there, shiny and new and as blue as Sonic's arms. Since there was some controversy earlier, let me clarify that Chris is not parking illegally. The handicapped spot is adjacent to the judge's spot, and the sign is clearly marked. Chris is legally allowed to park in the handicapped spot because of his atismu. I had to pay five bucks to park in a garage two blocks away.

He sat in his car for about a minute, and then drove off.

For me the most remarkable thing was how much progress Chris has made in getting over his social anxiety. He was very eager to initiate contact with any pretty woman he saw. I think it's something he should be proud of--he's not the same guy who had to post a sign on the wall because of his noviophobia. This is actually a proven method for overcoming social anxiety--the more experience you have in talking to strangers, the easier it becomes. Of course, none of this will help him find a sweetheart, because while Chris is friendly, he's also immediately off-putting. He's instantly recognizable as a weirdo.}}

===23 July Hearing===
Another continuance, until 15 October, although the Christorian in attendance noted something was said about going to a therapist. Aside from this, he noted that Chris [[Cakefarts|farted]] very loudly in the middle of court, accompanied by that signature [[Stress sigh|sigh]]. Unlike the three previous hearings which Chris attended alone, Barb and a middle-aged woman thought to be [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] were also there. The Christorian was also harassed by an [[White knight|unidentified young woman]] [[Allison Amber|in red]] who tried to prevent him from filming Chris and Barb outside (where he had every right to do so) and asked about his behavior.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Leaves Court 7/23/2015
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7RmLoJ7uki0}}
| stardate = 23 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris' Latest White Knight
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yZXipnejEQY}}
| stardate = 28 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:GameStopCville.jpg|The store in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], site of the incident.
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
</gallery></center>

==[[Fan Art]]==
<center><gallery>
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
File:Chris's strut.png|Fighting the law requires fashion!
File:Chris_in_court.jpeg| Meanwhile at Chris's trial...
File:Sonichulector1.jpg| Chris after the trial...
File:Sonichulecto3.jpg| Well Trolls, Have the lambs stopped screaming?
File:Sonichulecto2.jpg| You may be the top Graduate from The FBI Academy, but he is the most twisted and cunning criminal the world has known.
File:Phantom_Stress.jpg| Sonichu, I'm already a demon.
</gallery></center>

===[[Miiverse]] Art===
<center><gallery>
File:Ween9.png
File:Ween11.png
File:Ween12.png
File:Ween14.png
File:FileWeen15.png
File:Ween17.png
File:Ween20.png
</gallery></center>

==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.'']

'''Clerk''': [''to customer at register''] 22.10 [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays James Herring, the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.'']

'''Manager''': That guy wants to buy 2... [''trails off, realizing what just happened.'']

'''James''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP 5-7, APC--[''mumbling'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ''???'' mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with Christopher Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Don't Call Anyone Experience
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R-Ws9ESBA0U}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| maker = C Chan
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Brushfire Video]]|nextlink=[[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2015-08-23T04:42:55Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Synopsis */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|[[It's UGH!|Ugh!!!]] I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!|[[Chris]]'s justification for his actions.}}
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[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Netflix]] [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was a truly infamous day in Chris's life, and his most action-packed since he [[Graduation|graduated high school]]. Essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again, Chris was [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once more for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] at [[The GAMe PLACe|a video game store]], this time with pepper spray<ref>[https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1424389574456&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Virginia general court records]</ref>. The attack was the culmination of his months-long [[Sonic Boom Protests|crusade]] to change the arm color of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]. Chris's fans wait with bated breath to see what, if any, punishment he will receive, and whether he will learn anything from it.

==Synopsis==
[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, seconds before the assault.]]
By the time of his arrest, Chris had already been engaging in various local [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest actions]], including vandalism, to force merchants to stop selling Sonic Boom. He had been banned from every GameStop within driving distance of his [[Rental House|temporary home]]. Nevertheless, on the day after Christmas, on a trip to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with his mother, Chris visited the GameStop outlet. While he claimed it was to investigate some "Skylanders" merchandise, staff claimed he had committed acts of vandalism before, and they were on the lookout for him. Whatever the truth, he entered the store wearing a pair of purple [[My Little Pony]]-[[Chris and brand loyalty|branded]] [[Chris and fashion|sunglasses designed for little girls]], apparently as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]. After arguing with staff, he strode towards the store entrance, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" Just before he left, he brandished a pink can of pepper spray, and sprayed assistant manager (or "[[CWCism|Ass Manager]]", as Chris would later call him) James Herring. Herring was later confirmed to be unharmed, although he did leave work after the incident.

Most of the information on what happened in the next hour comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner (below), and details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris returned to his car and left the mall. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking [[Kaka Makeup Basics|JCPenney]] and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police talked with Barbara, who was still at the mall eating, which implies that he left his elderly mother behind, without a car to get home. Barb had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car. Chris was arrested on the same day, at [[Rental House|home]].

On Sunday 28 December, a member of [[Kiwi Farms]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. A followup call from a [[4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that Herring would be pressing charges. After his weekend in jail, Chris was charged with his Class 6 felony, posted the $2500 bail, and was released on recognizance.

==monozettai's Account==
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]
[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]
The internet learned of the above drama when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded an on-the-scene video (below).<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip, Chris, clad in full [[tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by macing a man who is clearly not threatening Chris in any way. The clip became a minor viral hit, earning over 250,000 views as of June 2015. It is one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]]. Chris did nothing to get the video taken down, likely being aware of the [[wikipedia:Streisand effect|Streisand effect]].

After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say:

{{quoteboxred|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

==Chris's Account==
[[File:Ween13.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Chris and Reality|Oh, really?]]]]
{{quote|[[List of Chris's lies|I WAS the Victim]]|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}
Immediately after his release from the pokey, Chris rushed to his keyboard to perform damage control. Not surprisingly, he refused to admit any fault. Bizarrely, while he claimed ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, he also admitted that he had sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident. He also tried to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see. Even his [[white knights]] condemned his actions. It seemed that this time around, everyone was against him.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Sensory Overload|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

==The Charges==
[[File:Cwc_arrest_record.png|thumb|left|Chris's court records]]
This is the case against Chris, according to the [https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003 Albermarle General District Court].

{{quotebox|CHARGE: DANGEROUS GAS UNLAWFUL RELEASE (§ 18.2-312. Illegal use of tear gas, phosgene and other gases.) "If any person maliciously release or cause or procure to be released in any private home, place of business or place of public gathering any tear gas, mustard gas, phosgene gas or other noxious or nauseating gases or mixtures of chemicals designed to, and capable of, producing vile or injurious or nauseating odors or gases, and bodily injury results to any person from such gas or odor, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

"If such act be done unlawfully, but not maliciously, the offending person shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony."<ref>Code of Virginia: http://leg1.state.va.us/000/src.htm</ref>}}

For a Class 6 felony conviction, Virginia sentencing guidelines recommend 1-5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2,500,<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM]</ref> in addition to all the other corresponding losses he'd experience as a registered felon.

The 6th Degree version under the Virginia tear gas law is for cases in which the tear gassing was done "unlawfully, but not maliciously." Chris was fortunate to avoid the Class 3 felony version of the charge, which deals with malicious intent, and carries a much stiffer penalty of 5-20 years and up to a $100,000 fine. Chris may be allowed to plea down to misdemeanor-level assault and battery and be given a suspended sentence, with probation, counseling, anger management and/or community service in lieu of jail time.

Having squandered [[Bob]]'s inheritance on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the [[28 October 2011]], Chris has been forced this time around to work with a public defender.

==Chris Returns to the Front==
On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto Kiwi Farms exposed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Wal-Mart]] on that date, and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed by Chris himself, who indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "[[Chris and his ego|badass]]." This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceived himself as invincible so long as he could issue credible threats. Was it possible that Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability, previously confined to the comics, had [[Chris and reality|seeped into his conscious psyche]]?

On 11 January, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, once again painting himself as the victim and wishing that people would like him, despite his past actions. He argued that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the [[Death|deaths]] of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

==Subsequent court hearings==
[[File:Hearings.png|left|thumb|400px|Chris's hearing schedule.]]
Chris had had several hearings related to this case, stretching into the summer of 2015.<ref>https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do?formAction=newSearch?ts=1434991317603&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003</ref> His fans are frustrated at the slow pace of justice.

===29 December Hearing===
At the video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the next hearing), Chris was released on bond. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge had placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any GameStop outlet or contacting any of the company's employees.<ref>[[January 2015 Facebook posts#A No-Contact Order Apparently Goes Both Ways]]</ref>

===5 February Hearing===
[[File:CWCtrial.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barb leaving the courthouse after their 5 February hearing.]]
His next hearing took place on 5 February. It was decidedly brief, as the Chandlers appeared to been assigned an unsuitable representative, and another hearing in April was scheduled. According to two Virginian Christorians in attendance, little of note happened except Chris and Barb forgetting the date of the next hearing and thereby pissing off the court by holding up the next case. Footage was taken of Chris and Barb leaving court, the first appearance Barb has made in Christorical media for almost two years.

Zeonista's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-16#post-527528]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|I sat in the back of the courtroom, since I was trying really hard to be inconspicuous, but as a result of that it was hard for me to hear much of anything. I can't give you much in the way of specific dialogue... Rammspieler (at least, the person I believe was him) had a better vantage point, so expect more from him there.

Anyway, Chris WAS wearing women's clothes, but didn't look like as much of a disaster as usual. He was wearing a black cardigan and long dark-blue skirt with white stripes, along with dark-blue leggings and a pair of tan boots. His hair still looked pretty terrible, pretty much the same as it was in his mugshot. Barb was with him, wearing what looked like a red wool coat.

Chris looked pretty nervous while he was waiting for things to get started. He was fidgeting a lot and kept leaning over to ask her questions. I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside.

They called Chris up pretty quickly - his case was one of the first ones to go through. Naturally, even though there were 2 or 3 female PDs in the courtroom, Chris got the one BRUTE MALE of the lot. He was summoned as "Mr. Chandler," which I doubt he liked much. I heard the PD make a brief comment about Chris' appearance, but didn't hear exactly what was said.

The PD, Chris, and the judge spoke with each other for about 2 minutes, and eventually the ruling was for a continuation on April 2nd. The two of them left the courtroom, only to come back in about a minute or two later, with Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?" I guess Barb had already forgotten the date of the next hearing, or maybe she thought they needed to come back later in the day for something. Anyway, she and Chris spoke to the PD for another minute or two. I heard the PD say this to them: "I said you're free to go... Yes, it's April 2nd. April 2nd, I can write that down for you if you want." He looked just a little annoyed, because even this short exchange was enough to hold things up. Chris and Barb were blocking the middle of the courtroom while this was happening, and the judge had to ask them to move out of the way so the next guy up could get through.

The two of them left a little while later. All Chris had to say on his way out was "Welp," accompanied by a stress sigh.}}

Rammspieler's write-up:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chris-eater-commences.7535/page-22#post-528260]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
Despite the continuance of the case until April 2nd, I'm glad to have been there and have been in the presence of Manbaby and Barb themselves. I wish I was a better videographer/photographer and had taken better shots of them, all I got was a video of them leaving court as well as a video of 14 BC.

I'm also glad that Zeonista posted and filled in for the details I wasn't able to pick up on. But the truth is that it was a very "active" courtroom and everybody was moving around and whispering to each other, so it is possible that I may have misheard some things.

Anyway, I got there like at 8:50 and after taking off my fucking studded belt and fishing keys out of my pocket to pass the metal detector, I finally sat myself down in the courtroom. But still no sign of Chris. In fact, I was almost expecting him to be a no show. I started jotting down my notes and everything, when I look up, wondering of he wasn't coming, when I hear close to me a VERY FAMILIAR VOICE. I look to my right, and sitting in the bench in front of meat the very end of it, I saw him. My face just lit up and I knew right then and there that the trip was worth it. This is the closest thing I'll ever experience to having met a movie star is basically my sentiment. And right in front of me was a woman whom at first I thought was either his attorney or even Rocky Shoemaker. I was wondering whom she was for the longest until, his PD showed up and asked to speak with her son. So confirmed Snorlax. Also, he didn't seem to be too pleased with the PD referring to him as male.

I can confirm what Zeonista saw and heard and indeed he was in full tomgirl attire. Ridiculous blue eyeshadow and all. Barb's red overcoat was covered in animal fur so I guess they must have pets. I can also confirm his constant sighing and nervousness. He couldn't stop shaking his leg. He also bore the same expression that he was wearing for his mugshot. He was obviously Stressed and displeased! There was even a moment when he kinda turned around and looked at me with what seemed to be suspicion. Was I that obvious? The guy with the faux vintage Star Wars Episode IV Hong Kong movie poster shirt and the notepad, writing down everything?

Like I said, it was a relatively noisy courtroom, so I couldn't catch the gist of most of the whispering. But I did catch him asking Barb that the PD and the judge should be made aware of the "troll problem". Like Zeonista, I couldn't help but smile. But he then went on in what seemed to be a rant about misogyny and misogynists. I guess he was hoping that the MALE judge wouldn't be such. What really called my attention was the way they carried on. If you didn't know they were mother and son, you could swear that they looked like a really creepy Cougar/Cub romantic relationship. The way they held each others backs, to him telling her "I love you". I was also able to notice that he was wearing a graduation ring. I guess from his high school? I couldn't make out the letters, but the stone was purple. He then said something about hoping that "he wasn't a chicken" and Barb replied that "he" won't be. I guess they were talking about the lawyer. Speaking of...

The PD was this handsome, lean dude in his mid to late 20's. Had curly hair and a trimmed beard. If you took off his suit and left his glasses on, he would make a great hipster at some microbrewery. The reason why I at first assumed that they hired him was because I noticed in Chris' Lego notebook a business card with a written phone number and the name of what looked to be "Max Rippoli" I knew it was Italian and the judge did utter a similar surname when telling Chris that said person couldn't defend him. The first name was definitely "Max" though. Barb's advice for Chris when in the Stand was to stand up straight and smile. Anyway, once the judge granted the continuance, I took that as my cue to leave and stand by to take visuals. So while I was outside, turning my phone on and trying to get the camera to work was when Zeonista witnessed what took place after I left and before they left.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Barb coming out of court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPhK5X_Fmko}}
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===2 April Hearing===
[[File:Cwcap.png|thumb|Chris entering court on April 2.]]
Chris began to attend his hearings alone, and reportedly seemed more nervous than in the last hearing. It began 20 minutes early and was over within minutes. In fact Chris left the courtroom before Christorians made it through security, so no one knows what, if anything, actually happened inside. What is known is that Chris was granted another continuance, and the next hearing was scheduled for 7 May. The account from forum member lipitor:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633790]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|We got down here took some pics of Christorical locations, those will come later. So we're heading to the courthouse and decide to stop at mcdonalds on the way (not the ruckersville one across from walmart), because it was on 29 toward c-ville. As we pull in we see a blue ford focus with the license plate "Sonichu". Brand new-ish too. Probably nicer than my car. It totally looked more like a decepticon than an autobot just for the record. My bud decides well, guess im going in for coffee. I stayed in the car. I'll let him tell you what he saw in there. I was sitting in the car when he came out. He was wearing those stupid my little pony sunglasses carrying two cups of coffee. He had a black cardigan thing on I think, but what was more noticable was his striped dress, it looked like someone stole the curtains from a freshman girl's dorm room and sewed it together haphazardly. It gave him noticable trouble when walking. He was wearing some type of lace up boots that were sort of high heels but not really, probably didnt help with the walking. He didn't seem to realize that in a dress his gait couldnt stride as wide and kept almost falling over and stumbling when his feet landed. Barb was strangely absent. He fucked around his car and went for the trunk. He pulled out one of those things for wiping your windshield, looked stolen from a gas station. I dont think he did anything with it just took it out and fumbled with it, put it back.

HeyyyJackiepie came out just as he was getting back in his car. We tried to lose him, but ended up taking turns following each other. Chris swerved out of the way of a crow in the street without looking into another lane. We just drove up to the crow like normal people and it flew away last minute, like they always do. We tried to lose him continually or at least tried to trail or get ahead of him but we were like right next to each other the same time. We took a wrong turn and lost him. We found a spot where you are actually allowed to park near the courthouse. (see Heyyyjackiepie's comment if you want to get that joke). He parked in nearly the same spot he did last time. He just sat there in his car, seemed like he was playing a game on his phone or some shit. He sat in there for nearly 30 minutes. We wanted to go in after him so we just waited in front of the door. From behind me I hear a string of like 9 stress sighs in a row. I turn around to see him. He had removed the MLP glasses and wore his normal ones now. Could see he was wearing nearly the same tights he did last time. We gave it a minute so he could go in and sit down. We go in there and he's just standing there at the metal detector. He had so much fucking jewelry to remove. like bracelets and necklaces it took forever for him to get them off. The clerk at the metal detector rolled his eyes at him while he was doing it. After he got done he just sat down in a chair in front of the court room but not in it. He was stress sighing and looking around nervously. God he really does stress sigh a lot. With great self discipline I was able to restrain my laughter. He looks more like a nerdy kid than woman or tranny up close. He looks like a teenager whose trying out an outlandish style for attention, but not totally confident in it or aware of what style is.

Anyway he finally fucking got up and went in and we went throught the metal detectors. By the time we got through I had just opened the court room door, he was coming back out and we almost bumped into each other. He said apologetically "well, got that out of the way quick" and dashed out the door to the courtroom. This was like 30 minutes before his hearing so we didnt know what to make of that. He had noticed us so we didn't know if he was trying to dodge us or what. So we just sat down and boring court stuff happened for like 10 or so minutes. We ended up leaving cuz it was clear he wasnt coming back. We saw he was still in his car. We walked around the building once and he was gone. We went back in to see if anything would be said about him, but they said nothing. Must have been a continuance. Chris is definitely not gonna have an outburst though guys. He's super nervous, maybe thats just cuz barb wasnt there I don't know.}}

The skinny according to heyyyJackiePie:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/operation-chriseater-2-the-fanta-pain.8709/page-6#post-633832]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|Girls and boys, and dudes of all teenages,
This is my account of what happened today. First thing’s first: Chris was granted a continuance according to the Charlottesville General District Court website. We were unable to confirm what happened when we were there, but we will explain. But, although we didn’t actually observe Chris being called up in Court in front of the judge, we had multiple sightings of Chris and some pictures and a video which will be upload this evening. This is really long and contains several details, but I’d rather tell you guys everything that happened.

The day started out with a visit to the Ruckersville McDonalds where we captured some pictures of the nearby Wal-Mart, and Burger King – yes, the one Bob had breakfast at every day. We have plenty of pictures and videos with multiple angles and went inside for a coffee. It’s a small McDonalds and quite modern. There were a group of old men gathered around talking which seemed to be a regular meet up. I wonder if Bob had a similar group of friends at Burger King?

We continued down 29 and stopped by 14 Branchland and took multiple pictures from multiple angles. The house no longer has that red front like it used to so it wasn’t what I expected. In the “driveway” Barb’s Z-3 had a tarp half way over it implying it’s not regularly (read: ever) used. There was also the blue van too. But no blue Ford Focus. Chris was not there. The yard is what you would expect: disgusting and unkempt. We got some pictures of Patti’s doghouse with some writing on it “Patti Chandler rests here” or something. We drove by so many times doing drive by photography that we started to get paranoid and just got the hell out of there. We have plenty and plenty of pictures we will upload.

Being that Chris was not there and it was about 8am, this means that Chris could only be at one place… McDonalds. Although he regularly frequents the Ruckersville McDonalds, it is not on the way to Charlottesville so I speculated there was a 50/50 chance he was at the McDonalds about 5-7 minutes farther down 29 on the way to Charlottesville. We went past it and decided to U-turn to check it out really quickly. We saw a blue car and got excited, but we knew it would be too good to be true. There was a line of cars going through the drive-through blocking it from plain view, but we slowly pulled in to the McDonalds parking lot with a lot of excitement. We knew the only way to confirm was to see the license plate. As we slowly pulled up near his car, we saw “SONICHU” on his license plate and we both shouted like teenage girls as if One Direction just came out on stage. My heart was racing. This was it. This is it. This is not a drill. This will be something that comes up throughout this post, but we were super paranoid at this point and unsure whether to go in. What if he saw us? What if he was suspicious? I didn’t come this far to pussy out so I went in. I quickly identified him and immediately veered right into the bathroom. I pissed out all the coffee I drank up til then and mentally prepared myself. I am not exaggerating but I was feeling several emotions at once… excitement, thrill, paranoia, anxiety. I waited in line to order a coffee… the line was very long and I was hoping, hoping he wouldn’t leave. I finally got a coffee and sat directly behind him. He was alone, but had two drinks, so I suspected Barb was in the bathroom pooping. His hair was long and gangly and he looked similar to his current Facebook profile picture. He wore these multi-colored grotty tennis shoes and a long skirt. I don’t know women’s fashion, but it was like a skirt that went down to his shins. It was definitely a female thing and had these weird multi colors. It was obviously bought at the thift store. He also wore a black atlhletic-like jacket which seemed somewhat normal. I noticed he had blueish eyeliner or mascara that was clumsily applied. He was filling out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper and was quiet. There were tons of people in the McDonalds , but I still sneaked a picture of him from the back. It would have been impossible to take a picture from the front and I didn’t want to blow our cover before the hearing. After 7 minutes or so, he stress sighed as he got up. YES! I heard a stress sigh! I felt so happy inside. It sounded just like all his videos. I tried to get some video of him as I walked out to my car so I put my phone in my pocket and hit record to film a video with the camera lens sticking out. Unfortunately my phone slid into my pocket though so didn’t get anything L.

What happened next made us paranoid as hell again. On the way to the courthouse, it was like there was nothing we could do to not be directly behind him. We waited about 3 minutes after he left McDonalds and of course ended up directly behind him at the first traffic light. Just with the flow of traffic, we literally followed him to the courthouse and got some more video. We finally got to the courthouse and positioned ourselves basically where the guy who did the youtube video of him exiting the courthouse was standing. Chris stayed in his car for… it must have been twenty minutes. So we looked like the biggest bunch of suspicious dumbasses waiting around the front area while he was in his car. He couldn’t see us directly though. As time went on, we became so fucking paranoid that we thought Chris might have called the police of 911. The thinking was if he called 911 to report shovel mech, he definitely would have done it if he was suspicious of two MALES. So we started to walk away. Lipitor finally talked some sense into me. But right as we started walking, he started approaching the courthouse! I whipped out my phone pretending to be on a phone call while recording. I will upload it later and it’s not great, but there are a few moments where you can clearly see what he was wearing and him walking in. We also heard the loudest fucking stress sigh ever made. We were seriously like 30 yards away and heard this and started laughing. We walked in to the courthouse a few minutes later and FUCK MY LIFE he is going through security right in front of us. He was literally a few feet away from us. We panicked and went to the bathroom. After another coffee piss, I saw he was sitting on a bench right in front of the door to go into the courtroom which is immediately after you get through security. There was no way we were going near him at this point. So we waited another 3-4 minutes in the lounge area. We finally went through security when we noticed he wasn’t on the bench. After we get through security, the courtroom door flung open and he came out!… FUCK MY LIFE AGAIN. He walked right by us AGAIN. As we opened the courtroom door, he said to the jerkop at the metal detector “Well, got that over with quickly” and left. WTF. It’s 9:10am and his hearing was at 9:30. We waited in the courtroom for a few minutes, but decided to leave as we were completely confused. His car was still outside so we thought maybe he would come back in around 9:30am. We went back to the courtroom decided to wait. I know this sounds like a stupid move, but there were so many people coming in and out that no one paid attention and the courtroom was really noisy It was honestly like people coming in and out of a Starbucks. We listened to a few people go up, but it was impossible to tell what was happening and you couldn’t even hear their names despite being in the front row. We finally left at 9:45am and his car was still outside. We circled the block to get a better view while staying out of sight, but his car was gone when we got back. I noticed he parked in a spot with a sign the read “Parking for Judges Only”. Clear as fucking day. Entitled cunt. For the rest of the day, we’re going to hit all the major stops and get some photos. We’re also going to upload a photo to prove we’re not making this up.}}

<center><gallery>
File:ChrisatMcDs2.jpg|Chris in the McDonald's parking lot before the hearing.
File:ChrisatMcDs.jpg|Chris at McDonald's.
File:14bc215.jpg|Home sweet home.
</gallery></center>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Hearing (4-2-15)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MybN06jmIQg}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===7 May Hearing===
True to this prediction, this hearing resulted in another continuance, until 11 June. It lasted longer than the previous one. Chris was again spied at [[McDonalds]] before the hearing. Forum member lipitor's account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/trials-and-tribulations.9677/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Maybe you've seen the picture maybe you haven't but Chris's court room outfit was absolutely ridiculous. It was a girl scout green/teal color and cut worn over a white t-shirt. The cut was just above the knees. Christian wore dirty old sneakers with old gym socks with this. He also had a matching hat that was the same color as his dress. It looked like something an old lady would wear to church. You could tell by his face that he thought he looked cute as shit while wearing that hat, but he looked like a fucking moron. He didn't wear it inside the courthouse, even though women are allowed to wear hats inside.

The inside the courthouse is sort of set up like an old catholic church with pew seating. Christian sat near the front with his back to the side wall so he could scope everyone in there out. Saw him lock eyes on some dude and pull his phone out and text someone (more on who later). You're not allowed to have phones with cameras so he had a flip phone with him. It took fucking hours for them to finally get to his case. When they finally did he got very nervous. They kept calling him by both male and female pronouns at different times. They called him Chris/Christian/Christine and a couple of times Crystal (I know Crystal is his daughter, but apparently the judge accidentally called him that a few times, and I was in no position to correct the man). Christian didn't seemed phased by any of this and went with whatever name/pronoun used at the time. They talked forever and it was mostly just establishing what happened and what the charge was. So it was hard to hear, so the next part is a bit speculative. It sounded like the reason for the continuance was because they wanted Christian to see a shrink/counselor/whatever so they could do a mental health plea. They wanted him to go like right after court too. He seemed to agree to this at the time. Like I said I couldn't hear the exact details of what was going on so it might be a bit different. Feel free to sperg out over what all that means.

Here's the best part. On the way out my field agent was confronted by some lady. She asked the field agent what they were doing there and what their name was. She said she was a reporter. My field agent was like "yeah I'm not telling you that". She shifted tone and said she just wanted to buy my field agent a cup of coffee and hear his story...:stupid: She wanted to know why a community of people on the internet literally document everything in his life. An interview was declined...}}

===11 June Hearing===
This hearing was also quickly continued, until 23 July. The Christorian in attendance described Chris as uncharacteristically sociable and collected, perhaps because his forays in the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] have made him more comfortable around people. The account:<ref>[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/6-11-court-hearing.10108/]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|
I attended the court hearing this morning....

Chris's hearing was to begin at 9:30. The courthouse opened for business at 9:00. I got there at 9:05, sat down, and realized Chris was already in the room, sitting across from me. Let me proffer the opinion that Chris passes as a woman. An ugly, frowsy, dumpy, old-fashioned, middle-aged woman to be sure, but there are many women like this, so therefore Chris passes. In a public setting like the courtroom, where you don't give people a close inspection, there would be no reason not to assume that the lump sitting over there was a woman. The five 0'clock shadow is easily visible from a distance, which would be your first clue that something was unusual.

He was wearing an aqua blue outfit with matching eyeshadow. Blue sweater, blue collared blouse with vertical stripes, blue skirt with vertical stripes, dark stockings. Everything matched well except for his grotty sneakers, which are blue but the wrong shade. He shouldn't have been wearing sneakers anyhow with this outfit. He had his typical ugly dark nail polish, two rings on his right hand, and some kind of multicolored bracelet on his left wrist. He had a headband, and his hair looked the way it has in all his recent photos. He wore his glasses. He had his black purse with all the jangly shit hanging off it. He was reading something; I couldn't tell what it was at first, but when he stood up it turned out to be the issue of Vanity Fair with Ms. Caitlyn Jenner on the cover. He uses his index finger to help him read.

Chris has a weird body type. He's pudgy, but his forearms and ankles are really skinny, so the weight gathers in the center of his body. He looks kind of like Mr. Peanut. His breasts are as small as ever and there was zero evidence of gainz.

When I first arrived there was a middle-aged woman sitting next to him. I assumed she was his public defender, but as soon as the judge arrived (at the same time I did), she went up to speak with the judge and left the room. Before she left, Chris said to her, "I'm Christine, by the way." The woman introduced herself to Chris and said goodbye. So Chris had apparently initiated smalltalk. A few minutes later Chris did a little handwave to a female lawyer who walked in, who returned the wave. He seemed to be checking out every woman who entered the courtroom.

The judge stuck around for just a few minutes and left again. A cop went around the room to ask everyone, "Are you set for 9:30?" When she asked Chris, he said, "Huh?" She repeated the question, and Chris said, "Um, yeah, I believe so."

The courtroom is small and as other field agents have mentioned, the mood is relaxed and casual, or as much as it can be with seven jerkops hanging around and three guys in the front row with manacled ankles and wrists. The judge is a black woman. She handled one case regarding probation violation before 9:30, which was done very casually and informally, while the other lawyerfolk had quiet chats and shot the breeze with the sheriffs. For the most part everyone just sat around.

The main reason why I made the last-minute decision to attend was that he's been enraged about the new blarms game, and I was hoping he'd show up with a sign demanding justice for transsexuals or something equally dramatic. Chris's mood was entirely the opposite. He was self-contained, calm, and collected. He was not angry, stressed, or nervous. He was not fidgety. It was very hard to believe that this was the person who just the day before had expressed a public wish to beat up Sega executives. He sat and read his magazine. At one point something he was reading caught his interest and he said "Hm!" suddenly, causing the woman sitting next to him (a different one) to turn her head to look at him. He seemed somewhat bored. He yawned twice, loudly, putting his hand over his mouth, which struck me as rather self-indulgent and overly dramatic.

Around 9:40, after a couple quiet cases, they called "Christian Chandler." At this point the lawyer who had defended the probation violator walked over to Chris and escorted him to the front, revealing himself as the public defender. He is young, skinny, bearded, wore tweed. He seems like a good guy, pretty relaxed. He looks like he knows his way around a college debate tournament. Right then three lawyers decided to sit down right in front of me and hold a conference, making it difficult to hear what was said. It was apparent that the first words out of the judge's mouth was that there was a continuance. Chris asked a question. The judge said it would be dealt with at the next hearing, and that he should stay in touch with his lawyer. She and the lawyer wore big patronizing smiles. They treated him like a sensitive child. Their attitude was, "Everyone is your friend, no one wants to attack you." In the previous probation case, the judge was serious and all business, because she was speaking with an adult. Here, even though macing someone is also pretty serious business, she knew she was dealing with a special individual and it was pointless to deal with him normally. So Chris has basically already won over the judge. I predict that, for better or worse, he will receive psychological treatment and very little punishment.

Chris's attorney walked him out of the courtroom, and I followed them out. They hung out on the front porch for about a minute to cover some issues. He told Chris that for the next hearing, "Be a little early like you were today." Another lawyer, a pretty young woman, joined them, and she was also all smiles. Chris complimented her clothing, and she replied, "I like your color too."

Then Chris walked the 100 feet to the curb, and I realized that Son-Chu was sitting right there, shiny and new and as blue as Sonic's arms. Since there was some controversy earlier, let me clarify that Chris is not parking illegally. The handicapped spot is adjacent to the judge's spot, and the sign is clearly marked. Chris is legally allowed to park in the handicapped spot because of his atismu. I had to pay five bucks to park in a garage two blocks away.

He sat in his car for about a minute, and then drove off.

For me the most remarkable thing was how much progress Chris has made in getting over his social anxiety. He was very eager to initiate contact with any pretty woman he saw. I think it's something he should be proud of--he's not the same guy who had to post a sign on the wall because of his noviophobia. This is actually a proven method for overcoming social anxiety--the more experience you have in talking to strangers, the easier it becomes. Of course, none of this will help him find a sweetheart, because while Chris is friendly, he's also immediately off-putting. He's instantly recognizable as a weirdo.}}

===23 July Hearing===
Another continuance, until 15 October, although the Christorian in attendance noted something was said about going to a therapist. Aside from this, he noted that Chris [[Cakefarts|farted]] very loudly in the middle of court, accompanied by that signature [[Stress sigh|sigh]]. Unlike the three previous hearings which Chris attended alone, Barb and a middle-aged woman thought to be [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] were also there. The Christorian was also harassed by an [[White knight|unidentified young woman]] [[Allison Amber|in red]] who tried to prevent him from filming Chris and Barb outside (where he had every right to do so) and asked about his behavior.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Leaves Court 7/23/2015
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7RmLoJ7uki0}}
| stardate = 23 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris' Latest White Knight
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yZXipnejEQY}}
| stardate = 28 [[July 2015]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:GameStopCville.jpg|The store in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], site of the incident.
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
</gallery></center>

==[[Fan Art]]==
<center><gallery>
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|Don't call anybody!
File:Chris's strut.png|Fighting the law requires fashion!
File:Chris_in_court.jpeg| Meanwhile at Chris's trial...
File:Sonichulector1.jpg| Chris after the trial...
File:Sonichulecto3.jpg| Well Trolls, Have the lambs stopped screaming?
File:Sonichulecto2.jpg| You may be the top Graduate from The FBI Academy, but he is the most twisted and cunning criminal the world has known.
File:Phantom_Stress.jpg| Sonichu, I'm already a demon.
</gallery></center>

===[[Miiverse]] Art===
<center><gallery>
File:Ween9.png
File:Ween11.png
File:Ween12.png
File:Ween14.png
File:FileWeen15.png
File:Ween17.png
File:Ween20.png
</gallery></center>

==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan maces a GameStop employee
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Sonic Boom|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, for a nanosecond as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, a family at the counter look shocked and confused by the bizarre creature passing them.'']

'''Clerk''': [''to customer at register''] 22.10 [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays James Herring, the store's assistant manager, with pepper spray, causing him to quickly back away. A woman, likely the store's manager from Chris's description, walks into view.'']

'''Manager''': That guy wants to buy 2... [''trails off, realizing what just happened.'']

'''James''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP 5-7, APC--[''mumbling'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'll be looking for seven, I'll probably be in that ''???'' mall for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with Christopher Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Don't Call Anyone Experience
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R-Ws9ESBA0U}}
| stardate = 2 [[April 2015]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| maker = C Chan
| subject = 26 December 2014}}
|}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Brushfire Video]]|nextlink=[[Mario_Kart_8_Videos#Dry_Dry_Desert|Wii U - Mario Kart 8 - (GCN) Dry Dry Desert]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

I'm Sorry, Dude

2015-04-20T21:18:19Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* See also */

'''I'm Sorry, Dude''' is a video [[Chris and remorse|apology]] made by [[Chris]] to his [[gal-pal]] [[Kim Wilson]]'s boyfriend. Chris had posted "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]" only two hours prior, and Kim's boyfriend's brother, Logan, was a [[Homos|gay]] soldier who [[Merried Seinor Comic|lost his arms]] in the Iraq War.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = I'm Sorry, Dude
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YxHlmvQhK7s}}
| stardate = 15 [[June 2009]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| previous = [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
| next = [[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]
}}
{{quote|[[wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]] was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on [[Little Big Planet]]. And I [[Scale of Respect|respect]] him for that.}}

=== Transcript ===

Uh, I dedicate this video to uh, Logan. Boyfriend of my gal-pal, Kim. Yeah, anyway uh, I've--I just wanted to uh, apologize for uh...offending you in anyway, I mean, especially like, y'know, when you consider the uh, past videos I did, and uh, like, y'know, the recent one-- Yeah. Shout out to uh...y'know, his uh, brother...who is a homosexual himself, but he fought in the war. Poor fella lost both of his arms. But, y'know, he did his thing and he fought in the war, I respect him for that.

And you know I respect uh, some guys who might be homosexuals themselves, but they ac-- accomplish other things like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. And I respect him for that...Uh, so...yeah I don't know why I uh...I guess I was just mad at the uh, [[Jerks|majority of the male population]] that uh, which uh, y'know which the majority can be cruel an' mean, but uh, y'know, some of the guys like uh, Logan, uh, can be--or some of the uh..opposite, like y'know, they're good guys.

They're just doing what they can. And uh, y'know, also like y'know, his brother is a good guy, he did what he could in the w--in the uh, other--in the Iraq, but yeah, I mean-- I mean no disrespect, I mean no disrespect Logan, and I apologize...I tell you what, uh y'know, I can make it up to you, if you want, I can treat you to a [[Long Island Iced Tea|drink]] one night, or afternoon.

Or like, y'know, or we could just hangout or whatever...and uh, also Logan, I want you to know, y'know, just for the record that the videos I did in the past, that might portray me so wrongly, you know, I was like, I was leading on false beliefs, to uh, do those, like y'know, the [[trolls]] pose as woman, or like y'know my ex-quote-un-quote girlfriends. I say quotes because y'know, some of them were actually guys instead of women...Okay. Well, you take care and...again, I'm sorry for offending you.

Take care... Peace. [''Peace sign'']

==See also==
*[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
*[[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]
*[[Chris and remorse]]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-06-14]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, June 2009| 2009-06-14]]

Inventions

2015-04-19T05:08:36Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

{{Delete}}

[[File:Tesla.jpg|thumb|[[wikipedia:Nikola Tesla|Nikola Tesla]], another famous inventor who had a mental disorder and died a virgin. The similarities end at this point.]]

{{quote|"Necessity is the mother of invention", and I have invented quite a few crafts that have served me well.|Chris's reply to "Leonardo da Vinci", CWCipedia [[Mailbag]].}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] is truly a renaissance man, with many '''inventions''' to his credit. He draws [[Sonichu|comics]], makes [[YouTube|videos]], is an accomplished [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|singer]], models [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC|sculptures out of clay]], provides voices for the [[Official Videobooks]], etc. etc. But being the [[David Alan Chandler|second]] son of the outstanding inventor [[Bob Chandler]], the man who designed controls for plastic water container molding machines (without which Chris would have no [[Fapcup|cup]] from which to [[Recycling|drink]] his [[Semen|navy]]), our hero just couldn't suppress his natural talent to invent. Thus, Christian Weston Chandler added being an inventor extraordinaire to his long list of "accomPLISHments."

==Better than Leonardo da Vinci==
In [[November 2009]], Chris received an [[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor|e-mail]] from a [[Troll|fan]] roleplaying as Leonardo da Vinci, one of the great artists with whom Chris has compared himself [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|in the past]] (managing to forget the great Italian's name and misspell his surname). Leo ironically stated that he considers Chris his [[Chris and art|"artistic equal"]], and asked if the [[autistic]] [[Chris and English|genius]] has a similar knack to making inventions, for which Leonardo himself was famous. Being the egotistical and vain person he is, Chris could not allow even Leonardo da Vinci to excel him in any field. Chris was quick to assure Mr. da Vinci in his [[Mailbag]] reply that he is, indeed, an inventor as well, and proceeded to list three of the most outstanding of his inventions.

===The Three Great Inventions of Christian Weston Chandler===
'''I.''' The "One set of Inventions" including:
*[[Sonichu]];
*[[Rosechu]];
*City of [[CWCville]]. (Not really inventions so much as they are fictional concepts, and [[Chris and Copyright|incredibly derivative ones]], at that.) Of course, given [[Chris and reality|Chris's tenuous grasp on reality]], he may not realize this.

'''II.''' A "heavy-duty case", "built from [[Lego]]s and held together with tape", whose main purpose is "to hold [his] 20+ [[Card games#Pokémon TCG|Pok'emon]] (sic) Trading Card Game Decks with an area designed for damage counters, die and such". This is something that may have been a significant accomplishment for say, a 9-year-old, but when a 28-year-old man lists something he built with Lego as an "invention," it can only evoke facepalming. Moreover, Chris did not invent Legos, he merely put them together.

'''III.''' The [[Dating education|Dating Education Class]]. (Which doesn't exist, so he didn't really invent them. And even then, a terrible idea.)

==Other inventions==
* [[Idea Book Case]] - Chris's attempt in putting his iOS products in a case.

==See also==
*[[Bob Chandler]]
*[[Chris and copyright]]

[[Category:Hobbies]][[Category:Media produced by Chris-chan]]

Inventions

2015-04-19T05:07:59Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* The Three Great Inventions of Christian Weston Chandler */

{{Delete}}

[[File:Tesla.jpg|thumb|[[wikipedia:Nikola Tesla|Nikola Tesla]], another famous inventor who had a mental disorder and died a virgin. The similarities end at this point.]]

{{quote|"Necessity is the mother of invention", and I have invented quite a few crafts that have served me well.|Chris's reply to "Leonardo da Vinci", CWCipedia [[Mailbag]].}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] is truly a renaissance man, with many '''inventions''' to his credit. He draws [[Sonichu|comics]], makes [[YouTube|videos]], is an accomplished [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|singer]], models [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC|sculptures out of clay]], provides voices for the [[Official Videobooks]], etc. etc. But being the [[David Alan Chandler|second]] son of the outstanding inventor [[Bob Chandler]], the man who designed controls for plastic water container molding machines (without which Chris would have no [[Fapcup|cup]] from which to [[Recycling|drink]] his [[Semen|navy]]), our hero just couldn't suppress his natural talent to invent. Thus, Christian Weston Chandler added being an inventor extraordinaire to his long list of "accomPLISHments."

==Better than Leonardo da Vinci==
In [[November 2009]], Chris received an [[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor|e-mail]] from a [[Troll|fan]] roleplaying as Leonardo da Vinci, one of the great artists with whom Chris has compared himself [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|in the past]] (managing to forget the great Italian's name and misspell his surname). Leo ironically stated that he considers Chris his [[Chris and art|"artistic equal"]], and asked if the [[autistic]] [[Chris and English|genius]] has a similar knack to making inventions, for which Leonardo himself was famous. Being the egotistical and vain person he is, Chris could not allow even Leonardo da Vinci to excel him in any field. Chris was quick to assure Mr. da Vinci in his [[Mailbag]] reply that he is, indeed, an inventor as well, and proceeded to list three of the most outstanding of his inventions.

===The Three Great Inventions of Christian Weston Chandler===
'''I.''' The "One set of Inventions" including:
*[[Sonichu]];
*[[Rosechu]];
*City of [[CWCville]]. (Not really inventions so much as they are fictional concepts, and [[Chris and Copyright|incredibly derivative ones]], at that.) Of course, given [[Chris and reality|Chris's tenuous grasp on reality]], he may not realize this.

'''II.''' A "heavy-duty case", "built from [[Lego]]s and held together with tape", whose main purpose is "to hold [his] 20+ [[Card games#Pokémon TCG|Pok'emon]] (sic) Trading Card Game Decks with an area designed for damage counters, die and such". This is something that may have been a significant accomplishment for say, a 9-year-old, but when a 28-year-old man lists something he built with Lego as an "invention," it can only evoke facepalming. Moreover, Chris did not invent Legos, he merely put them together.

'''III.''' The [[Dating education|Dating Education Class]]. (Which doesn't exist, so he didn't really invent them. And even then, a terrible idea.)

'''IV''' The [[Idea Book Case]] , Chris's one and only true invention, and it isn't complete garbage either (it's not good by any means, either).

==Other inventions==
* [[Idea Book Case]] - Chris's attempt in putting his iOS products in a case.

==See also==
*[[Bob Chandler]]
*[[Chris and copyright]]

[[Category:Hobbies]][[Category:Media produced by Chris-chan]]

Inventions

2015-04-19T04:59:54Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

McDonald's

2015-01-19T18:42:23Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* McCosplay */

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|Uh, not very often, I'd say like, uh... You know, two or three times a week.|[[Mumble 8|Chris on his frequency of McDonald's visits]]}}

[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|A typical visit to McDonald's in [[CWCville]].]]

'''[[Wikipedia:McDonald's|McDonald's]]''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s [[List of restaurants|restaurant]] of choice. His ideal first [[dating|date]] would take place here.<ref>[[Blanca Emails, September 2008#Future dates with Blanca]]</ref> His favorite items are the eight-piece [[Wikipedia:Chicken McNuggets|Chicken McNuggets]]<ref>[[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_2_2]]</ref><ref>[[CWC%27s_Diary#March_2]]</ref> and the $1 sweet tea,<ref>[[Mailbag 28]]</ref> though [[Jackie E-mails 2|lately]] he has claimed to get salads more often when attempting to get in the good graces of [[gal-pal|female friends]].

Additionally, Chris's preference for McDonald's was symbolic of his conflict with [[Bob Chandler|his dad]], who preferred [[Burger King]].<ref>[[Coffee Place]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut]]</ref>

Chris met the real-life [[B-Manajerk]] and his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic|Merried Seinor Comic]], in a [[Wal-Mart]] McDonald's in June of [[2005]], an event which would later be dramatized in [[Sonichu 3]].

==Health issues==
It is probable that Chris's [[PS3|inactive lifestyle]] and frequent patronage of McDonald's is the cause of his [[obesity]]. The number of times Chris claims to eat there, two or three times a week,<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> is equivalent to going an average of 130 times a year. During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey and her father]], he claimed to have cut down to one McDonald's trip per week at best, and even that was unquestionably a lie told to impress Mr. Devoria—once a week would still be more than enough to cause health issues. At this rate, Chris may develop [[Chris and health|serious medical problems]]—heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes are known to result from continued consumption of fast food.<ref>[http://www.livestrong.com/article/351296-health-effects-and-diseases-caused-by-eating-fast-food/]</ref>

The trouble is that Chris [[Chris and reality|doesn't seem to realize]] just how bad fast food actually is. He barely understood that fast food was bad for one's health until roughly the [[Liquid Saga]], when at [[Kacey]]'s behest he made a feeble effort to clean up his act as far as exercise and eating right. This mostly involved eating salads at McDonald's instead of his usual eight-piece box of chicken nuggets.

In a [[Kacey Call 6|display of nutritional ignorance]], he claimed that having grilled chicken with his garbage food was better than having breaded chicken. This is a common misconception—though grilled contains less fat than breaded, it still comes from a fast food chain and only seems healthy by comparison to everything else McDonald's serves. The "side salad" that he [[Kacey Call 12|occasionally mentions]] eating is one of the more inoffensive items on the McDonald's menu, and grilled chicken salads are also not as unhealthy as most of their products. However, these salads are frequently drowned by fat people in cheese and high-calorie dressing. Chris [[Kacey Call 6|claimed]] once (in effort to impress a girl, natch) that he refrains from using dressing, but given that he seems to have a dislike for foods without copious amounts of fat, salt, or sugar, this is almost certainly untrue.

Also, the sugar content of a small McDonald's sweet tea is 36 grams.<ref>[http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/food/product_nutrition.beverages.33.Sweet-Tea-Small.html]</ref> The recommended daily intake of sugar for an adult is about 40 grams.<ref>[http://www.dailysugarintake.net/how-much-sugar-per-day.html]</ref>

==In ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:Punchyfeedslayla.jpg|thumb|right|300px|"Have some fistfull fries!"]][[File:RonaldMcDonaldJoker.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The CWCee Dees mascot.]]
* There is a McDonald's in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* [[Sub-Episodes]] [[Sub-Episode_4#Sub-Episode_4:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack.22|#4]] and [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_5:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack_part_2.22|#5]] take place in "the city of M-C-Dville, of the region of [[Mal-Wart]]."
* A McDonald's ripoff, CWCee Dees (pronounced like "Quicky Dee's") appears in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] took [[Layla]] there on their first date.

==McDonald's Monopoly==
In [[2009]], McDonald's held a [[Wikipedia:McDonald's Monopoly|''Monopoly'']] promotion. Chris claimed to not care about it in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video]], only to create more accounts later and enter 65 codes from purchased goods, which may seem [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Campaign|familiar]] to seasoned CWC watchers.

===Account I (October 6 - October 20)===
52 codes (43 of them from purchased things)

*52. St. Charles Place
*51. Oriental Avenue
*50. Baltic Avenue
*49. Park Place
*48. Marvin Gardens

===Account II (October 21)===
11 codes (10 of them from purchased things)

*11. Park Place
*10. North Carolina Avenue
*9. Illinois Avenue
*8. Community Chest (2)
*7. Oriental Avenue

===Account III (October 22 - October 23)===
7 codes (6 of them from purchased things)

*7. Park Place
*6. Community Chest (3)
*5. Illinois Avenue
*4. New York Avenue
*3. Electric Company

===Account IV (October 23 - October 28)===
8 codes (6 from purchased things)

*8. Reading Railroad
*7. Luxury Tax
*6. North Carolina Avenue
*5. B. & O. Railroad
*4. Pennsylvania Railroad

==McCosplay==
[[File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|thumb|Chris as the Hamburglar, [[Chris and cosplaying|apparently.]]]]
[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|At least it hides his [[Muscle bra|tits]].]]
In the beginning of [[October 2010]], Chris apparently remembered [[Jackie]] telling him that she liked his [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplay]] videos. Following a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|controversial cosplay video]] over two weeks before, Chris decided to continue his act with McDonald's characters.

His first McDonaldland act was [[100 2265|the Hamburglar]], where he [[CWCFlyingElephants|ran around his room acting batshit crazy]], wearing a BDSM costume that looked far more like an obese [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]] than the Hamburglar.

The next day, Chris attempted to cosplay [[100 2266|Grimace]]. [[Chris and art|Needless to say]], the Grimace costume he made was beyond recognition. Whilst wearing the costume, he delivered a speech about [[autism]] and bullying before breaking out into song. It is likely that Chris got this idea from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' in which [[Wikipedia:Lois Griffin|Lois]] dresses up as [[Wikipedia:The Grimace|The Grimace]] - Peter responds with a comment that Grimace is retarded.

{{Lists}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Places]]

Stress

2015-01-19T18:34:25Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Things that Chris does when stressed */

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[trolls|trolled]]. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress".

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives.

In August 2013, Chris indicated through Facebook that his stress is beginning to take a toll on his health. Given his rather [[Chris and health|unhealthy]] [[Obesity|lifestyle]], it's not unlikely.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickle]]s
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the house
* [[Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homos|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming [[homos|homosexual]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* Being confronted by [[Kacey| his sweetheart's]] [[Father Call|Father]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone|friend zoned]]
* Having someone [[Liquid Chris|pretend to be him]].
* Having his identity [[Ian Brandon Anderson|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly [[Chris and race|racist]]<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Muscle bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]
* Considers suicide<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and death

2015-01-15T03:54:55Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1927-2011) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===The sinking of the ''RMS Titanic'' (d. 1912)===
In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris attempts to threaten [[Lars]] by destroying a [[Lego]] version of the Titanic.

===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates Ryan Cash's death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of Matthew Devoria's mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any Sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being hundreds of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Christian seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla Rosechu]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

Simonla's death apparently continued to haunt Chris long afterwards. This led to him [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|reviving Simonla]] around [[May 2014]], more than four years after her demise. It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as [[Chris and reality|real]] to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===

In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with heart failure, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dreams|dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===[[Barbara Chandler]] (1941-)===
Barbara, much like [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara suffers from obesity, and this contributes to her poor health, examples of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barbara keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company, and in the grander scheme of things, without parents.

Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery, especially since it was revealed in an [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|October 2013 Facebook post]] that Chris considers Barbara to be one of the few people who gives meaning and purpose to his life.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Obesity|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Fuck Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], who lived into his mid-eighties despite suffering from (And eventually passing away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and [[alcohol]]ism, he may be genetically disposed to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it is the one thing that would put an end to the [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving [[Dreams|recurring visions]] of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a [[sweetheart]]. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his [[Attraction Sign|obsessive standards]] and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a [[Facebook]] post on October 30, 2013, Chris stated that he had become so [[stress|stressed]] out (Specifically, over [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|the revelation]] that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pal]]s did not actually like him much at all), that he has contemplated killing himself multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he did not go through with it are [[Barbara|painfully]] [[Clover and Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[Chris and psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. Of course, this could well be Chris exaggerating and trying to gain pity as he has done in the past, and as his mother allegedly also has (Or at least, used to have) a habit of doing. In all seriousness, however, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution.

In late [[2014]], Chris had actually come quite close to being hospitalized, as a serious infection had developed around a [[Un-clit|taint piercing]] he had received, earlier in the year. Thankfully, though, Chris had come to his [[Stress|senses]] and permanently removed the piercing, and may in fact treat the infection before it worsens.

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

Chris and English

2015-01-08T03:26:43Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* The Spoken Word */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]

{{quote|I No Socialize Online.|Chris's strangely appropriate [[PS3|PSN]] comment.}}

[[Chris]]'s '''[[Wikipedia:English language|English]] skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[http://www.unstrange.com/dsm1.html Unstrange Minds :: Diagnostic Criteria for Autistic Disorder through the years]</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This is presumably due to his increased isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading or listening will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]". He also tends to re-appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[Semen|comeuppance]] isn't a fitting outcome for someone's deeds, and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy Sonichu|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like the definite article "da", Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]", "[[niggos]]", and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form an unholy trifecta that defines his speech. With the constant stream of half words and repetition, it is sometimes difficult to understand what exactly he is talking about. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best; the words he uses are English, but the structure is far from proper. The fact that his vocabulary is a bit lacking only compounds the situation.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it [[Chris and reality|illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe]]. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, but instead only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instances". Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — creepy.

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly [[Chris and his Ego|how self-centered he is]]. While the whole purpose of language is to express and communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech. His grammar is also predictably abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse",<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between". (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

Chris misuses punctuation in many ways, often with - albeit unintentional - comedic results. In particular, he tends not to use hyphens when they're needed, but somehow also add hyphens where they ''aren't needed'', such as in his stock phrase "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]". Clearly he means that he wants to create a relationship from the "ground up", from a blank slate, from the simplest of beginnings. A literal interpretation, though, means he wants to create a girlfriend from something that's been ground up — ground cinnamon, ground pepper, what-have-you (or "what have you" as Chris would write). Another prominent example is "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

Because Chris feels the need to type things precisely as he would say them, and worries that he will be misunderstood in print, he makes heavy usage of repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style, which could be compared to many comic books and graphic novels. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, especially Nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying. Also, again owing to his HIGHLY RECITATIVE manner of writing, he often adds letters to words to emphasise them (most commonly "soo" for "so").

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality] on CWCipedia</ref>}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like a child, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random-access humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences, and a copious amount of text in general (especially in the comics). A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would mean he's not telling the whole truth. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

Chris has demonstrated particular ineptitude in his usage of semicolons. Semicolons are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, and whatever succeeds a semicolon should be pertinent to whatever immediately preceded it. Chris, however, uses them to crudely string together two (or more) tangentially-related thoughts into a sentence that is consequently almost incoherent. Chris also frequently misuses the semicolon in character dialogue, using it where he should use a full stop (period) or something else entirely.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "''sic''" tags scattered around the CWCki, that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite the myriad other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He has many rigid, totally consistent habits which he never corrects, such as "eni" for "ein", as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Chris often spells difficult words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|"Anchuent"]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another one of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a typo resulting from "u" and "i" being adjacent on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so copiously evidenced that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes unnoticed for ''years''.

===Typos===
[[Image:Sonichu_Typos.jpg|thumb|left|More perfect spelling from mister Chandler.]]

The above spelling problem is only compounded by Chris's constant typos. The very first page of the comic contains the word [[Sonichu 0|"mies"]] in place of "miles". And even when he edits pages that contain these mistakes and has a chance to fix them, he invariably misses them a second time, like [[Sonichu 7|"dood"]] instead of "good" in issue seven.

The fact that these typos exist only goes to prove that [[ego|Chris does not bother to proofread his works even a single time after completion]] and prior to uploading them to the internet. And assuming that he has to read his own comic sooner or later, and that someone '''must''' have drawn his attention to these mistakes at some point, the only logical conclusion is that Chris can not be bothered to go back and fix these typos even when he is aware of them.

===Definitions and Vocabulary===
Chris has a very bad habit of not knowing what he's talking about, and this is readily observable in his '''vocabulary'''. Chris still believes the word "[[naïve]]" means stupid, and thus hates being called it. Naïve, in simple terms, means "ignorance or gullibility because of a lack of experience". Chris is fittingly the definition of this because he doesn't do anything, and because of that he's gullible and ignorant. Another word Chris throws around with wild abandon is "slander". Chris constantly calls his [[ED]] page and the [[CWCki]] slanderous. Slander is defamation. Defamation is the destruction of reputation or character through manipulation and lies of video, photographic, and audio evidence. Libel is like slander, but is defamation through writing. There's two things wrong with Chris' use of slander. His ED page and the CWCki consist of more written material than videos, photographs and audio, so if it was anything it would be libel. The other is that the ED and CWCki are neither slander nor libel, because nothing on them is manipulated and everything on them is [[True and Honest|true]], and backed up with physical evidence, provided by him. However, this could just as well be Chris's [[ego]] ignoring these facts.

Related to his choice of vocabulary, Chris has an issue with using terms that, while technically meaning similar things, have different tones. This is perhaps most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris uses the term "bearing false witness" multiple times. In the context Chris uses the term, he's simply using it as an alternate way of saying "lying" or "misrepresenting", as the Biblical term is often simplified when explaining the ten commandments to children. Chris fails to realize that the term is more or less exclusively associated with the Bible and using it when discussing himself makes the characters sound like they're referring to Chris as their god, although [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|this may have been intentional]]. Likewise, the Asperchu characters claim to have been forced to "make a false idol of the brown-shirted one" even though in Asperchu, the protagonists merely respect their creator, rather than worship him. Again, the use of Biblical terminology makes the whole thing seem even more narcissistic.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]." This clunky phrasing is reiterated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He makes copious usage of his "joke" that "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as having "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be the product of his autism — other possibilities include that:
* Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so "successfully", he tends to reuse what he knows is (or believes to be) a working formula.
* Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
* Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
* Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====
Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies all of his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it."

For more blatant examples, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand. Also, when listing a hunk-of-shit TV on [[Craigslist]], he demands "CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. $250 or better offer; NO HAGGLE." which doesn't apply at all to something like an old TV, and directly contradicts his very own offer. "No haggle" or a "better offer"; it's clear he has no clue what "haggle" even means. He most likely picked up the jargon from other entries on the site.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like", or "malevolent", an antonym of "benevolent"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. A Facebook status reveals that, through unknown means, he has come to believe that "empirical" means "rejecting scientific methods of knowing," which is as nearly opposite to the word's meaning as one can get. Since his source for this is listed as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D., a character in ''[[Wikipedia:Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine]]'', perhaps this odd idea came from content in the Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band''.

===Muddled-up Proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>
* "The shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Past_Featured_Quotes Past Featured Quotes] on CWCipedia</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes"/>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear to all, probably including Chris himself.

===Literal Interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons or hyperbole in general. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's Father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's Father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' Don't… Don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables (a blatant [[Lie|lie]], but that's beside the point). Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that Matthew Devoria was trying to make gets lost in the sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes reach complete dead ends.

As the quote read in the [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm. Chris is no exception, and he is often unable to pick up sarcastic comments, as seen in the Guru Larry interview.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. His answers to questions are always Spartan with no elaboration, and cannot distinguish the implied meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag #2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no". Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again." Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now," and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as normal people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag #34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts".<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|''Sonichu'' Quiz #2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] begins with the "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic more usually seen in a TV series. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag #51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag #51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show.]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. "''For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic''].''"</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue #3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10|Mailbag #10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now," rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

He also tends to mix up similar words, for example, [[Sonichu's Edge|the time]] [[Honor roll|he confused free-running with]] [[Obesity|a brand of butter]].

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==The Spoken Word==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, although that's not really saying much. He claims ad nauseam [[Song of Christian|the first word]] [[Autism Tutorial|he ever spoke]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu|was "monkey"]] at the age of six weeks, which is physically impossible. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uh", "hmm", and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also [[Speech impediment|tends to stutter and repeat himself]].

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the [[Wikipedia:Game Informer|Game Informer]].|Chris attempting to convince people that [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'']] is worthy of a perfect score.}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is [[Random-access humor|trying to be funny]].

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow [[Wikipedia:R. Kelly|R. Kelly]]'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising.]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit.]]}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|akekECv9XCQ}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated husk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|"Smell Yo Duck"]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously nothing more than a comical exaggeration on his part, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly part of an effort by Chris to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to sporadically censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash,"<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39|Mailbag #39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch".) Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory abounds regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry Internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
* [[Speech Impediment]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The High School Story]]
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Spanish]]
* Anything written on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English|Chris's high school English homework]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and English

2015-01-08T03:10:16Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Definitions and Vocabulary */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor this.]]

{{quote|I No Socialize Online.|Chris's strangely appropriate [[PS3|PSN]] comment.}}

[[Chris]]'s '''[[Wikipedia:English language|English]] skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[http://www.unstrange.com/dsm1.html Unstrange Minds :: Diagnostic Criteria for Autistic Disorder through the years]</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older. This is presumably due to his increased isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading or listening will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]". He also tends to re-appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[Semen|comeuppance]] isn't a fitting outcome for someone's deeds, and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy Sonichu|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like the definite article "da", Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]", "[[niggos]]", and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form an unholy trifecta that defines his speech. With the constant stream of half words and repetition, it is sometimes difficult to understand what exactly he is talking about. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best; the words he uses are English, but the structure is far from proper. The fact that his vocabulary is a bit lacking only compounds the situation.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it [[Chris and reality|illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe]]. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, but instead only makes him look like he doesn't know the word "instances". Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — creepy.

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly [[Chris and his Ego|how self-centered he is]]. While the whole purpose of language is to express and communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech. His grammar is also predictably abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse",<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between". (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning [[wikipedia:Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping]], not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

Chris misuses punctuation in many ways, often with - albeit unintentional - comedic results. In particular, he tends not to use hyphens when they're needed, but somehow also add hyphens where they ''aren't needed'', such as in his stock phrase "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]". Clearly he means that he wants to create a relationship from the "ground up", from a blank slate, from the simplest of beginnings. A literal interpretation, though, means he wants to create a girlfriend from something that's been ground up — ground cinnamon, ground pepper, what-have-you (or "what have you" as Chris would write). Another prominent example is "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

Because Chris feels the need to type things precisely as he would say them, and worries that he will be misunderstood in print, he makes heavy usage of repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style, which could be compared to many comic books and graphic novels. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, especially Nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying. Also, again owing to his HIGHLY RECITATIVE manner of writing, he often adds letters to words to emphasise them (most commonly "soo" for "so").

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality] on CWCipedia</ref>}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like a child, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random-access humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences, and a copious amount of text in general (especially in the comics). A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]", which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would mean he's not telling the whole truth. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

Chris has demonstrated particular ineptitude in his usage of semicolons. Semicolons are usually used to connect two clauses together without a conjunction, and whatever succeeds a semicolon should be pertinent to whatever immediately preceded it. Chris, however, uses them to crudely string together two (or more) tangentially-related thoughts into a sentence that is consequently almost incoherent. Chris also frequently misuses the semicolon in character dialogue, using it where he should use a full stop (period) or something else entirely.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]", "[[Angelica Rosechu]]", and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]", of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]", was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "''sic''" tags scattered around the CWCki, that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. Despite the myriad other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He has many rigid, totally consistent habits which he never corrects, such as "eni" for "ein", as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Chris often spells difficult words phonetically like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|"Anchuent"]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another one of Chris's random acts of butchery of the English language — or even a typo resulting from "u" and "i" being adjacent on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so copiously evidenced that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes unnoticed for ''years''.

===Typos===
[[Image:Sonichu_Typos.jpg|thumb|left|More perfect spelling from mister Chandler.]]

The above spelling problem is only compounded by Chris's constant typos. The very first page of the comic contains the word [[Sonichu 0|"mies"]] in place of "miles". And even when he edits pages that contain these mistakes and has a chance to fix them, he invariably misses them a second time, like [[Sonichu 7|"dood"]] instead of "good" in issue seven.

The fact that these typos exist only goes to prove that [[ego|Chris does not bother to proofread his works even a single time after completion]] and prior to uploading them to the internet. And assuming that he has to read his own comic sooner or later, and that someone '''must''' have drawn his attention to these mistakes at some point, the only logical conclusion is that Chris can not be bothered to go back and fix these typos even when he is aware of them.

===Definitions and Vocabulary===
Chris has a very bad habit of not knowing what he's talking about, and this is readily observable in his '''vocabulary'''. Chris still believes the word "[[naïve]]" means stupid, and thus hates being called it. Naïve, in simple terms, means "ignorance or gullibility because of a lack of experience". Chris is fittingly the definition of this because he doesn't do anything, and because of that he's gullible and ignorant. Another word Chris throws around with wild abandon is "slander". Chris constantly calls his [[ED]] page and the [[CWCki]] slanderous. Slander is defamation. Defamation is the destruction of reputation or character through manipulation and lies of video, photographic, and audio evidence. Libel is like slander, but is defamation through writing. There's two things wrong with Chris' use of slander. His ED page and the CWCki consist of more written material than videos, photographs and audio, so if it was anything it would be libel. The other is that the ED and CWCki are neither slander nor libel, because nothing on them is manipulated and everything on them is [[True and Honest|true]], and backed up with physical evidence, provided by him. However, this could just as well be Chris's [[ego]] ignoring these facts.

Related to his choice of vocabulary, Chris has an issue with using terms that, while technically meaning similar things, have different tones. This is perhaps most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris uses the term "bearing false witness" multiple times. In the context Chris uses the term, he's simply using it as an alternate way of saying "lying" or "misrepresenting", as the Biblical term is often simplified when explaining the ten commandments to children. Chris fails to realize that the term is more or less exclusively associated with the Bible and using it when discussing himself makes the characters sound like they're referring to Chris as their god, although [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|this may have been intentional]]. Likewise, the Asperchu characters claim to have been forced to "make a false idol of the brown-shirted one" even though in Asperchu, the protagonists merely respect their creator, rather than worship him. Again, the use of Biblical terminology makes the whole thing seem even more narcissistic.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]." This clunky phrasing is reiterated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He makes copious usage of his "joke" that "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as having "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]] for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be the product of his autism — other possibilities include that:
* Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so "successfully", he tends to reuse what he knows is (or believes to be) a working formula.
* Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
* Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
* Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====
Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies all of his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he hasn't used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in correct context. Despite this, it's as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris isn't worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked-on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, and is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrase book, finding the entry "New Address", and saying "OK, that's probably close enough - it's got 'new' and 'address' in it."

For more blatant examples, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand. Also, when listing a hunk-of-shit TV on [[Craigslist]], he demands "CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. $250 or better offer; NO HAGGLE." which doesn't apply at all to something like an old TV, and directly contradicts his very own offer. "No haggle" or a "better offer"; it's clear he has no clue what "haggle" even means. He most likely picked up the jargon from other entries on the site.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent", which means "war-like", or "malevolent", an antonym of "benevolent"), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. A Facebook status reveals that, through unknown means, he has come to believe that "empirical" means "rejecting scientific methods of knowing," which is as nearly opposite to the word's meaning as one can get. Since his source for this is listed as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D., a character in ''[[Wikipedia:Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine]]'', perhaps this odd idea came from content in the Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band''.

===Muddled-up Proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>
* "The shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Past_Featured_Quotes Past Featured Quotes] on CWCipedia</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes"/>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear to all, probably including Chris himself.

===Literal Interpretation===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons or hyperbole in general. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the 'exact' meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's Father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's Father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' Don't… Don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables (a blatant [[Lie|lie]], but that's beside the point). Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that Matthew Devoria was trying to make gets lost in the sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes reach complete dead ends.

As the quote read in the [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm. Chris is no exception, and he is often unable to pick up sarcastic comments, as seen in the Guru Larry interview.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. His answers to questions are always Spartan with no elaboration, and cannot distinguish the implied meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag #2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no". Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again." Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now," and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This may seem innocuous at first, as normal people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag #34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts".<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|''Sonichu'' Quiz #2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] begins with the "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic more usually seen in a TV series. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag #51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag #51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show.]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. "''For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic''].''"</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime", with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue #3 Page 9]</ref>

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10|Mailbag #10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now," rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

He also tends to mix up similar words, for example, [[Sonichu's Edge|the time]] [[Honor roll|he confused free-running with]] [[Obesity|a brand of butter]].

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==The Spoken Word==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, although that's not really saying much. He claims ad nauseam [[Song of Christian|the first word]] [[Autism Tutorial|he ever spoke]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu|was "monkey"]] at the age of six weeks, which physically is flatly impossible. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uh", "hmm", and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also [[Speech impediment|tends to stutter and repeat himself]].

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the [[Wikipedia:Game Informer|Game Informer]].|Chris attempting to convince people that [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'']] is worthy of a perfect score.}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is [[Random-access humor|trying to be funny]].

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow [[Wikipedia:R. Kelly|R. Kelly]]'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising.]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit.]]}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|akekECv9XCQ}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated husk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|"Smell Yo Duck"]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously nothing more than a comical exaggeration on his part, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]]. Despite this, Chris has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Chris and profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly part of an effort by Chris to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to sporadically censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash,"<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39|Mailbag #39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX"; the Xes are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch".) Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory abounds regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry Internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
* [[Speech Impediment]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The High School Story]]
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Spanish]]
* Anything written on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English|Chris's high school English homework]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies

2015-01-05T02:01:04Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

{{Quote|War is never the answer; peace is. Never fight. Compliments will get you fuzzy-wuzzies. War gets you prickly-wicklies... as well as punches. They get you those, too. Thank you very much, and have a wonderful day.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

'''"A Warm Fuzzy Tale"''' is a story written by [[Wikipedia:Claude Steiner|Claude Steiner]], a clinical psychologist professor.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_Steiner#Publications</ref> His book had the noble goal of teaching children that acts of love cost nothing and are worth giving. [[Chris]], who might have read the book (or [[Honor roll|had the book read to him]]), felt the need to include those pieces of wisdom in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and his "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]]".

==Fuzzy-Wuzzies==
According to Chris, Fuzzy-Wuzzies are the reward for paying people compliments. The benefits of gaining fuzzy-wuzzies are unclear, although there is surely [[Megan Schroeder|someone]] out there who can describe the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|consequences]] of paying Chris a compliment. In any event, fuzzy-wuzzies are surely preferable to the noxious prickly-wicklies.

Chris is probably unaware that "fuzzy-wuzzy" is also a [[Chris and race|racist]] term for the [[Wikipedia:Hadendoa|Hadendoa]] people.

==Prickly-Wicklies==
[[Image:Rotathgoldenskull4.jpg|thumb|right|You're apt to find plenty of these accompanying Prickly-Wicklies...]]
[[File:BustACap.jpg|thumb|right|...or these.]]
Prickly-Wicklies (not to be confused with plain old [[Duck|pricks]]) are, on the other hand, the undesirable end result of going to war (aka [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]].) Although doubtlessly making perfect sense to him, Chris fails to elaborate on the consequences of this forfeit. Prickly-wicklies could therefore constitute anything from scorn for engaging in combat, to painful, prolonged death in a mustard-gas clouded barrack.
Prickly-wicklies are also known to give people slugs, as opposed to their antithesis, fuzzy-wuzzies, which give people hugs.

It should be noted that Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|couldn't follow his own advice]] and declared war numerous times, such as in the [[War Paint Video]]. He must be swimming in prickly-wicklies by now.

==References by Chris==
*In his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Future Message]], Chris ends the video with the segment quoted above. Being that the video was one of Chris's earliest, it at the time only served to confuse the [[trolls]] who had only just discovered a new [[autistic]] manchild, and it foreshadowed Chris's later tendency to [[CWC-isms|make up words]] and assume that other people understood what he meant.
*In [[Sonichu 0#Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"|Sub-Episode 1]] of ''Sonichu #0'', just after Chris is nearly shot by [[Jerkhief]], Chris has a line making reference to Fuzzy-Wuzzies and Prickly-Wicklies, and talking about slugs.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_7</ref> This was immediately followed by Chris destroying the man's home life. So giving people Prickly-Wicklies is [[Chris and hypocrisy|okay if it's in revenge]].

==References==
<references/>

==External Links==
*[http://www.emotional-literacy.com/fuzzy.htm ''A Warm Fuzzy Tale''] The origin of ''Cold Pricklies''.

==See also==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[Chris and anger]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

To Mr. Smith

2015-01-05T01:29:42Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Transcript */

'''To Mr. Smith''' is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] by [[Chris]] on [[October 2014|26 October 2014]]. In the video, Chris apologizes to an [[eBay]] buyer, Mr. Smith, with whom he had done business with. Apparently, Mr. Smith was sent an 'angry' [[Sonichu medallion]] instead of a regular one after questioning Chris's expediency. After additional complaining, he eventually was issued a regular Sonichu medallion, as well as a commission. The commission, simply intended by Mr. Smith to portray him with Sonichu, instead depicted Chris's intent to [[Random Access Humor|pour a bucket of ice on him]]. Chris's quintessential eerie, puke-green [[Chris and cinematography|camerawork]] is still visible, much like his [[I Love You, Catherine|previous video that month]].

This video is notable in that it is the second video taken in the [[Rental House|rental home]] that Chris and [[Barbara|his mother]] have been living in since the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]].

Like in the last video, Chris has chosen to play some godawful orchestrated music (an instrumental rendition of "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square) that sounds like it belongs in the sappy love scene of a [[I Love Lucy|1950s sitcom]]. It's possible that this strange and out of place choice of soundtrack was added by Chris in an attempt to show sincerity and that he is genuinely [[Chris and remorse|sorry]] for being a jackass to his customer, knowing that he is generally [[Autism|unable to show legitimate emotion]] in a convincing way. Despite this, given the sloppy editing, disgusting appearance, slightly more upbeat attitude than before, lack of proper (or any) post-production, inconsistent message, and overall low quality of the video, Chris is probably being insincere and has once again [[I'm Sorry, Dude|been forced to apologize]] for his actions in the laziest possible manner. This was later proven true, as two days later after the video was posted, Chris continued to rage at eBay on his Facebook.

The video was taken down soon after upload, but [[troll|fan]] [[CWCville Library|archivists]] put it back up.

==Summary==
[[File:Mrsmithangryeyessonichu.jpg|left|thumb|The <s>[[Inos|stoned]]</s> "Angry eyes" Sonichu in question.]]
[[File:Chris's_Commission_to_Mr._Smith_(compressed).jpg|right|thumb|For reference: Chris's passive aggressive commission to Mr. Smith. Sonichu seems less than elated.]]
The video opens on a defeated, mopey Chris, apologizing to eBay buyer Mr. Smith for his antics during their transaction.

The "bucket of ice" is referring to a commission that Mr. Smith was granted due to Chris's negligence. The commission is notable for Chris's continued [[Spanish|desecration of the Spanish language]]. The ice bucket simply read "heilo," a [[Honor roll|misspelled]] rendition of the word "hielo," which means ice.

The video concludes with typical [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|self-deprecating]] Chris demeanor.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = To Mr. Smith
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AR9dxuFGzw8}}
| stardate = 26 [[October 2014]]
| subject = {{Website|[[eBay]]}}, {{Other|Mr. Smith}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[I Love You, Catherine]]
| next = [[Brushfire Video]]
}}

==Transcript==

[''Music playing in the background.'']

To Mr. Smith, I'm very sorry about... sending you the medallion with the... [''rubs his eye''] angry face. And.. I should just treat you like the other customers and give you the original face in the first place. [''[[sigh]]'']

Well, you did get that, a- th- the second one and I apologize for... drawin' with the want of droppin' a bucket ah ice on your head... because you... sent my [[Chris and money|finances]] down the drain there... like a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|sinking ship]]. Anyway, I'm very sorry. [''sigh'']

[[Stress|I'm hurting]]. It hurts. [[Chris and health|Errything hurts]]. A lot hurts. [[Video games|Goddamn]] [[Monthly tugboat|stressful]] [[Toys|life]]! [''groans and sighs again'']

Me.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Love You, Catherine]]|nextlink=[[Brushfire Video]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2015-01-03T05:50:08Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Professional help? */

{{quote|my CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded (almost certainly a lie), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist in the past, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead. However, during his trial in [[July 2012]], he was ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation. Only time will tell if this will finally force Chris to accept the help he needs, or ultimately accomplish nothing more than draining the remaining Chandlers' already miniscule funds.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight in Chris's tortured psyche]]
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autism|autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|…when [[Christian Weston Chandler|people]] are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received some time in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment — Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Chris and anger|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] think that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of strait jackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' or ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal [[Wikipedia:Medicaid|Medicaid]] or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or used to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things ([[PS3|games]], [[anime]], [[Kimmi|porn]]) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychologist, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

However, during the [[This is how the Trial went|fallout]] of the events which took place on [[28 October 2011|28 October]], Chris was sentenced to mandatory psychiatric treatment and evaluation. The results have yet to come, but given that he [[26 December 2014|fucking pepper sprayed a man]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic the Hedgehog's arms]] two whole years after starting this therapy, it's safe to say the treatment does not appear to be working.

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his eleventh call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication only under a different title.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around twenty minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[BlueSpike]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution". What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens ]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional...and...well...[[Chris and anger|he still can't control his anger.]] There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to anything she fucking says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remains the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has virtually no common sense. Likewise, common sense being rather common, [[white knight|white knights]] and [[trolls]] alike are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to. Some white knights like [[Vivian Gee]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Chris and}}

User talk:TRUEandHONESTuser

2015-01-02T06:38:17Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* ATTENTION!!! */

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just be sure to check out the [[CWCki:User pages|guidelines]] first.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]] 21:31, 25 December 2011 (PST)

==If you're going to edit==
You have to read the rules first. They exist for a reason. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 05:55, 26 December 2011 (PST)

Talk:Duck

2015-01-01T07:29:32Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* What do you mean "Incomplete"? */

Judging by the photos, I see a case of Peyronie's disease. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 06:12, 27 April 2009 (CEST)

It could also be a case of a broken penis; a blunt force injury to an erection. Judging from what the family finances seem to be, it could be that they just couldn't afford the surgery to fix it.--[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 09:53, 12 May 2009 (CEST)

Maybe the ExtenZe has something to do with the whacked-out shape? It might exacerbate the problem at least. Jesus on the Christ River, that's a horrifying penis. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 04:30, 1 July 2009 (CEST)

I can agree to the Peyronie's explanation. Barbara and Bob were in their 40's and 60's (respectively) when Chris was born. Having a child at such a late age puts them at risk for a multitude of diseases and disorders. This could be the cause of the many syndromes and diseases that trols have diagnosed Chris with. --[[User:Howsyourham|Howsyourham]] 19:43, 12 July 2009 (CEST)

A botched circumcision may also lead to a bent penis, among other disfigurements. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 06:08, 13 August 2009 (CEST)

==Merge==
I suggest we merge Duck and Pickle into Penis. All of the CWCisms for [[China]] are on the same page. --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 15:15, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
*Yes, they are both terms for penises but they're both distinct as well. Pickle has a rich history and is typically associated to penises drawn on his female characters while duck tends to be in reference to his own genitalia. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

:*In other words, it's advisable to keep the two pages separate. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

*Furthermore, the case with "china" is that the CWC-isms for "china" are isolated instances (one reference to "vaginatables" and one instance to "tom tom") that they really don't warrant their own pages. China only gets its own page because of the classic "DYKES DYKES CHINA!" and because it's been discussed in [[Sonichu 8]] that the Rosechu's genitalia is also known as a "china." The term "pickles" however, has frequent use and Chris seems to have a phobia of even pickles on his food (see episode 2 from [[Sonichu 0]] where Sonichu says how he hates pickles) and the receipt from when he went to visit Julie and ordered his food with no pickles, though he's also used "duck" several times in reference to his own genitalia, such as "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!"

:So yeah, they really shouldn't be merged. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:53, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

Does he use the term "duck" in reference to his own "pickle"? It seems that way.

*Yeah, it seems that he's used "duck" only in reference to his own penis. That and/or the whole "pickle" meme from trolls (ex. drawing actual pickles on Rosechu) has caused Chris to hate pickles so much, he is afraid of even saying the world. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Pickle and duck have both gained quite some cult-status separately from eachother. They also refer to different things. Also, they are different words in the CWCism-glossary. So I guess it shouldn't be too much of a problem to keep them as two different articles... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:54, 12 August 2009 (CEST)

==This page is getting convaluted==

We should probably stop with the extra pictures and quotes until the article is longer. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:16, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

== Duck.jpg ==

I propose the removal of Duck.jpg [http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Duck.jpg] because it isn't a fact. The peanut butter on the dick myth arose from a retard on ED [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Talk:Chris-chan/Archive9#CHRIS_.28doesn.27t.29_COVER_HIS_DUCK_IN_PEANUT_BUTTER] who faked a conversation with Chris. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:26, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

I think it should be removed but another thing that bugs me about this page is the Pic of Chris bent duck I know this page is meant for it but I just think its a eye sore, so would it be alright if it were put in box like the other pic of Chris's duck on the [[Sex]] page?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 14:59, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm pretty sure it already was on the Sex page, but I had it removed from there already (See the talk page, my old username was Thelieisacake). Based on the discussion we had there, I think it's safe to say that nobody will complain if it's removed from here as well. I'll do it now. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:38, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

== Still relevant? ==

Has Chris even said 'duck' since [[Julie]]? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 05:52, 9 December 2010 (PST)
:*[[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler.27s_Initial_Entry|Yes]]. But even if he never says it again, we'd still need an article for it, right?[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 09:03, 9 December 2010 (PST)

==For fuck's sake.==

The image at the corner of the page is pretty funny yeah, but what bright spark used a non-transparent version that covers up most of what's on that side of the page? Can someone fix this? I'd do it myself but I'd break the page. [[User:MonocleClaire|MonocleClaire]]

== Gallery? ==
As disgusting as it is, I think this page needs moar images of our infamous hero's cream horn, to give it's viewers moar of an idea of what it looks like. Normally, I would just go ahead and add it, but it seemed like a controversial move to me. - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 13:34, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

WHile i understand your pov, i think that information is widely available here http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Sex_tape [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 11:34, 24 July 2012 (PDT)

== What do you mean "Incomplete"? ==

I do not understand how the first section is incomplete. What more could possibly be said in the opening summary? Shouldn't that template be removed, or is it just me?--[[User:TRUEandHONESTuser|TRUEandHONESTuser]] ([[User talk:TRUEandHONESTuser|talk]]) 07:29, 1 January 2015 (UTC)

Talk:Duck

2015-01-01T07:29:08Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* What do you mean "Incomplete"? */ new section

Judging by the photos, I see a case of Peyronie's disease. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 06:12, 27 April 2009 (CEST)

It could also be a case of a broken penis; a blunt force injury to an erection. Judging from what the family finances seem to be, it could be that they just couldn't afford the surgery to fix it.--[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 09:53, 12 May 2009 (CEST)

Maybe the ExtenZe has something to do with the whacked-out shape? It might exacerbate the problem at least. Jesus on the Christ River, that's a horrifying penis. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 04:30, 1 July 2009 (CEST)

I can agree to the Peyronie's explanation. Barbara and Bob were in their 40's and 60's (respectively) when Chris was born. Having a child at such a late age puts them at risk for a multitude of diseases and disorders. This could be the cause of the many syndromes and diseases that trols have diagnosed Chris with. --[[User:Howsyourham|Howsyourham]] 19:43, 12 July 2009 (CEST)

A botched circumcision may also lead to a bent penis, among other disfigurements. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 06:08, 13 August 2009 (CEST)

==Merge==
I suggest we merge Duck and Pickle into Penis. All of the CWCisms for [[China]] are on the same page. --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 15:15, 29 July 2009 (CEST)
*Yes, they are both terms for penises but they're both distinct as well. Pickle has a rich history and is typically associated to penises drawn on his female characters while duck tends to be in reference to his own genitalia. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

:*In other words, it's advisable to keep the two pages separate. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

*Furthermore, the case with "china" is that the CWC-isms for "china" are isolated instances (one reference to "vaginatables" and one instance to "tom tom") that they really don't warrant their own pages. China only gets its own page because of the classic "DYKES DYKES CHINA!" and because it's been discussed in [[Sonichu 8]] that the Rosechu's genitalia is also known as a "china." The term "pickles" however, has frequent use and Chris seems to have a phobia of even pickles on his food (see episode 2 from [[Sonichu 0]] where Sonichu says how he hates pickles) and the receipt from when he went to visit Julie and ordered his food with no pickles, though he's also used "duck" several times in reference to his own genitalia, such as "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!"

:So yeah, they really shouldn't be merged. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:53, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

Does he use the term "duck" in reference to his own "pickle"? It seems that way.

*Yeah, it seems that he's used "duck" only in reference to his own penis. That and/or the whole "pickle" meme from trolls (ex. drawing actual pickles on Rosechu) has caused Chris to hate pickles so much, he is afraid of even saying the world. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 30 July 2009 (CEST)
:*Pickle and duck have both gained quite some cult-status separately from eachother. They also refer to different things. Also, they are different words in the CWCism-glossary. So I guess it shouldn't be too much of a problem to keep them as two different articles... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:54, 12 August 2009 (CEST)

==This page is getting convaluted==

We should probably stop with the extra pictures and quotes until the article is longer. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:16, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

== Duck.jpg ==

I propose the removal of Duck.jpg [http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Duck.jpg] because it isn't a fact. The peanut butter on the dick myth arose from a retard on ED [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Talk:Chris-chan/Archive9#CHRIS_.28doesn.27t.29_COVER_HIS_DUCK_IN_PEANUT_BUTTER] who faked a conversation with Chris. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:26, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

I think it should be removed but another thing that bugs me about this page is the Pic of Chris bent duck I know this page is meant for it but I just think its a eye sore, so would it be alright if it were put in box like the other pic of Chris's duck on the [[Sex]] page?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 14:59, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm pretty sure it already was on the Sex page, but I had it removed from there already (See the talk page, my old username was Thelieisacake). Based on the discussion we had there, I think it's safe to say that nobody will complain if it's removed from here as well. I'll do it now. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:38, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

== Still relevant? ==

Has Chris even said 'duck' since [[Julie]]? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 05:52, 9 December 2010 (PST)
:*[[SingStar_Challenge_Round_5#IBAChandler.27s_Initial_Entry|Yes]]. But even if he never says it again, we'd still need an article for it, right?[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 09:03, 9 December 2010 (PST)

==For fuck's sake.==

The image at the corner of the page is pretty funny yeah, but what bright spark used a non-transparent version that covers up most of what's on that side of the page? Can someone fix this? I'd do it myself but I'd break the page. [[User:MonocleClaire|MonocleClaire]]

== Gallery? ==
As disgusting as it is, I think this page needs moar images of our infamous hero's cream horn, to give it's viewers moar of an idea of what it looks like. Normally, I would just go ahead and add it, but it seemed like a controversial move to me. - [[User:Sonichufork|Sonichu Fork]] 13:34, 22 July 2012 (PDT)

WHile i understand your pov, i think that information is widely available here http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Sex_tape [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 11:34, 24 July 2012 (PDT)

== What do you mean "Incomplete"? ==

I do not understand how the first section is incomplete. What more could possibly said in the opening summary? Shouldn't that template be removed, or is it just me?--[[User:TRUEandHONESTuser|TRUEandHONESTuser]] ([[User talk:TRUEandHONESTuser|talk]]) 07:29, 1 January 2015 (UTC)

List of Chris's games

2015-01-01T07:15:30Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|thumb|left|[[CWCki]]'s [[United States of America|American]] readers helped pay for this. Anyone else suddenly feel like cheating on their taxes?]]
[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|One of their most valuable customers.]]

This is a catalog of [[Chris]]'s '''video game collection''', based in large part on a spreadsheet he sent to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in order to show how dedicated he is to video games. He surely is. The actual [http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv Excel file] contains more information about each game that Chris listed himself for some reason, like number of players for each game. Some games are obvious (every ''[[Sonic]]'' game (almost), every ''[[Pokémon]]'' game), some are surprising (''[[Homos|Barbie Game Girl]]''), some are bizarre (''Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickle|Pickled]] Edition''), and some are outright embarrassing (''Pooh's Party Game: In Search of the Treasure'').

For whatever reason, Chris's game inventory also includes demo discs, game peripherals (such as his [[PSEye]]), and other things that can't really be considered games (such as [[Wikipedia:Game Boy Advance Video|Game Boy Advance Video]] cartridges, a concept that failed to appeal to almost any American consumers...except, apparently, for Chris, who bought several of them). God only knows why Chris felt it was a brilliant idea to send a [[Nintendo]] executive a list of games he has on competing platforms, or to send a list of imports to a game company that practically invented region lock-out to prevent games from being imported.

The bulk of the list is only accurate to around the time of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], in January 2009. Luckily, his public [[PSN]] profile and other sources of information have made it possible to get a clearer picture of his ever-expanding [[PS3]] collection. Also, [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]] games and hardware are conspicuously missing from the list, but according to his [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he most likely owned one at some point.

Many [[trolls]] conservatively estimate that Chris and his family have spent at least $30,000 on video games in his lifetime (including $1,000 from a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1994 shopping spree]]), roughly 3 times the amount of Chris's annual [[Tugboat|income]] — your tax dollars at work. As of 2010, for downloaded games and other PSN content alone, he has spent nearly $3,500, and the toll continues to rise.

Also, after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the fire]], most of these games are presumed to have burned up, but no final verdict on that matter has been given.

==Chris (barely) lets go==
In early August 2010, according to his [[Jackie E-mails 8|e-mails with Jackie]], Chris sold off "12 NES, 3 SNES, 6 Genesis, 9 Game Boy and 6 PSOne Games" at a local pawn shop, hoping to snag some spending money and get around his father's iron grip on his finances. (He attempted to sell 23 PlayStation games total. All but six were refused due to their poor condition.) A couple of weeks later, he went back and sold off more NES and SNES games, as well as his Super Nintendo console and a few accessories for it. Between both trips he pocketed a little over $80, but the extent of what he got rid of is not fully documented.

On 31 August, he made a third trip to the pawn shop, selling off his Nintendo 64 and all his games for the console. Total proceeds: $40. At the same time he tried to sell his 16-bit Sega consoles and games, but failed, since his Genesis was apparently malfunctioning.

Around the same time, Chris also made a couple of trips to his local GameStop to trade in some of his collection. In early August, he gave up "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP and 4 DS games" for $50 in store credit, which he immediately plowed back into a pre-order for more games. Later, around the end of the month, he traded in several Game Boy Advance, Gamecube, and Nintendo DS games for $100 worth of GameStop store credit. In both cases it's not clear exactly which titles he let go of.

In October 2010, Chris dropped by Plan 9 Music, a music store in Charlottesville, and sold them "7 PS3, 2 PSP, 4 Gamecube and 1 Wii game" along with several movie DVDs, although as usual he did not specify which titles. He thereby earned $48.75, most of which went directly into his stomach and Son-Chu's gas tank.

In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris mentioned the pawn shop trip to his enemies. A few weeks later, [[Clyde Cash]] obtained three of Chris's old games and his Super Game Boy from the pawn shop and uploaded pictures of the loot here on the [[CWCki]]. The pictures show that at one point, Chris labeled his games with his name and birthdate (which now serve as a True and Honest certificate of authentication), and that his copy of ''Dr. Mario'' was kept in less than satisfactory condition. If you live in [[Charlottesville, VA]] you can head down to Snooky's Pawn Shop and pick up your very own piece of Chris-chan memorabilia, and the best part is, Chris probably got paid less than a dollar each for his games.
<gallery>
File:Groupiz.jpg
File:Dk3v.jpg
File:Fotns.jpg ‎
File:Nametage.jpg|Nintendo Seal of Truth and Honesty
File:Drmariofull.jpg
File:Whytp.jpg
File:Thefuck.jpg
</gallery>

==The Games==
===Nintendo===
====Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:1942 (video game)|1942]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Baseball (1983 video game)|Baseball]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Batman (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Batman]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlequest|Castlequest]]''
|Nexoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania|Castlevania]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania II: Simon's Quest|Castlevania II: Simon's Quest]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse|Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Dance Aerobics|Dance Aerobics]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong 3|Donkey Kong 3]]''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Classics''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Déjà Vu''
|Kemco-Seika
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Dr. Mario (video game)|Dr. Mario]]''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Gyruss#NES_and_Famicom|Gyruss]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kabuki Quantum Fighter|Kabuki Quantum Fighter]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Kirby's Adventure''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Kung Fu''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda (video game)|The Legend of Zelda]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Little Nemo: The Dream Master|Little Nemo: The Dream Master]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Mcdonalds|M.C. Kids]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mendel Palace|Mendel Palace]]''
|Hudson Soft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid|Metroid]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Milon's Secret Castle''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Ninja Gaiden (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Ninja Gaiden]]''
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man''
|Tengen
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Pin*Bot (video game)|Pin-Bot]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:R.C. Pro-Am|R.C. Pro-AM]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Chris and english|Sesame Street ABC]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''Short Order/Eggsplode''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Solomon's Key''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:StarTropics|StarTropics]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Glove Ball|Super Glove Ball]]''
|Mattel
|Given that this game came with the [[Wikipedia:Power Glove|Power Glove]], it is possible Chris also owns the Glove.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros|Super Mario Brothers]]/[[Wikipedia:Duck Hunt|Duck Hunt]]/World Class Track Meet''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros. 2|Super Mario Brothers 2]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros. 3|Super Mario Brothers 3]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989 video game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_II:_The_Arcade_Game#Ports|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Tennis''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges (video game)|The Three Stooges]]''
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario's Woods|Wario's Woods]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)#NES_version|Wheel of Fortune]]''
|GameTek
|
|-
|''Wrecking Crew''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Game Boy====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Alleyway|Alleyway]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Barbie: Game Girl|Barbie]]:[[Tomgirl|Game Girl]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bases Loaded (video game)|Bases Loaded]]''
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Rescue of Princess Blobette|A Boy and His Blob: The Rescue of Princess Blobette]]''
|Absolute
|
|-
|''Brainbender''
|Electro-Brain
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania: The Adventure|Castlevania Adventure]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cool Spot|Cool Spot]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck (Capcom)|Darkwing]] [[Darkbind Sonichu|Duck]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong (Game Boy)|Donkey Kong]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Land|Donkey Kong Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Donald Duck|Duck Tales]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:F-1 Race|F-1 Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:List of Fist of the North Star video games|Fist of the North Star]]''
|Electro-Brain
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Game_and_Watch_Gallery#Game_.26_Watch_Gallery|Game and Watch Gallery]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Game Boy Camera|Game Boy Camera (red)]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|Game Boy Camera (blue)
|Nintendo
|That's right - two cameras. Gotta catch 'em all!
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Golf (video game)|Golf]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Heiankyo Alien|Heiankyo Alien]]''
|Meldac
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Home Alone (video game)|Home Alone]]''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters|Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kirby's Dream Land|Kirby's Dream Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kwirk|Kirk]]''
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marble Madness|Marble Madness]]''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge|Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man II (Game Boy)|Mega Man II]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid II: Return of Samus|Metroid II: Return of Samus]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Red and Blue|Blue]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Red''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pretty Soldier [[Sailor Moon]]''
|Angel
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon R''
|Angel
|A Japanese import
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Qix|Qix]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Quarth|Quarth]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ren & Stimpy: Cadet Adventures''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the 'Gator|Revenge of the Gator]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Shanghai''
|HAL
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land|Super Mario Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins|Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Scrabble''
|Milton-Bradley
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan'']]
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tennis (video game)|Tennis]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tetris (Game Boy)|Tetris]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break|Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Turrican|Turrican]]''
|Accolade
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!|Wario Blast]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3|Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wave Race|Wave Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''The Chessmaster''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''Legend of the Mystical Ninja
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mario Paint''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mega Man X''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Pilotwings''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Stunt Race FX''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Game Boy''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Kart''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Metroid''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Scope 6-in-1''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Safari''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Nintendo 64 (N64)====
According to an [[Jackie E-mails 12|e-mail to Jackie]], Chris sold his Nintendo 64 and all of the games listed below (save for the Wii downloads, obviously) in [[August 2010]].
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Cruisn' USA
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Diddy Kong Racing
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hey You, Pikachu!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Racers
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Trolls|Mischief Makers]]
||Nintendo
|
|-
|''Paper Mario''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle League
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sin & Punishment|Sin & Punishment]]''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Star Fox 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race 64''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Story''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Game Boy Color (GBC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 3''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gex: Enter the Gecko''
|Crave
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Crystal
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Gold
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle Challenge
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Silver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trading Card Game
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Yellow
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. Deluxe
|Nintendo
|
|}
====Game Boy Advance (GBA)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Chu Chu Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Classic NES Series: Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''e-Reader
|Nintendo
|Nintendo’s barcode reader peripheral for ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and other games.
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure Max Heart
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game Boy Advance Jukebox
|Gamester
|A GBA player for MP3 music files.
|-
|''Gumby Vs. the Astrobots
|Namco
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Kaznapped
|THQ
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Super Circuit
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Fusion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[My Little Pony]]: The Runaway Rainbow
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Emerald
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon FireRed
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon LeafGreen
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic]] Advance
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Pinball Party
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Mario Advance
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris Worlds
|THQ
|
|-
|''The Three Stooges
|Cinemaware
|
|-
|''Wario Land 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc. Mega Microgame$
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Twisted
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi Topsy-Turvy
|Nintendo
|
|}
====Game Boy Advance Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''All Grown Up! Volume 1
|Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Limited Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Platinum Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Premium Edition
|Cartoon Network
|Chris’s 100th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Special Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Volume 1
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''The Fairly Oddparents: Volume 1
|Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 1
| Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 2
| Nickelodeon
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Beach Blank-Out Blastoise
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: For Ho-Oh the Bells Toll!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: I Choose You!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Johto Photo Finish
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Sonic X Volume 1: A Super Sonic Hero!
|Sega
|
|}
====Nintendo GameCube (NGC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Amazing Island
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Animal Crossing]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg
|Sega
|
|-
|''BMX XXX
|Acclaim
|Probably bought for [[Mass debating]] purposes.
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the Gamecube
|-
|''Evolution Worlds
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''F-Zero GX
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Go! Go! Hypergrind
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Party
|Konami
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Master Quest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:MC Groovz Dance Craze|MC Groovz Dance Craze]]
|MadCatz
|
|-
|''Mario Party 5
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man Vs.
|Namco
|
|-
|''Pac-Man World 2
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Box: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Channel
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickle]]d Edition
|Warner Brothers
|
|-
|'''''[[Blake|Shadow the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Gems Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Heroes
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Activision
|
|-
|''Spyro: A Hero's Tail
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Star Fox Adventures
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron 2
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Squadron 3: Rebel Strike
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Super Mario Sunshine
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Melee
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race: Blue Storm
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gamecube Preview Disc
|Nintendo/Sega/Others
|
|}

====Nintendo DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''100 Classic Books
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Animal Crossing]] Wild World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Big Brain Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Slow in the minds|Brain Age]]
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 150th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cooking Mama
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Drill Dozer
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Love quest|Feel the Magic XY/XX]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Flipnote Studio]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart Danzen! DS
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
|THQ
|
|-
|''Jump Superstars
|Nintendo
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Kirby: Canvas Curse
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Magnetica
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Hoops 3-on-3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters First Hunt
|Nintendo
|A demo cartridge
|-
|''Metroid Prime Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs: Dachshund & Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Picross 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Diamond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pearl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trozei!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Polarium|Polarium]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Retro Atari Classics
|Atari
|
|-
|''The Rub Rabbits
|Sega
|
|-
|''Snood 2: On Vacation
|DSI
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sprung]]
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Star Fox Command
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sudoku Gridmaster
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64 DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Princess Peach
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''True Swing Golf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare D.I.Y.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Touched
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Nightmare Troubadour
|Konami
|
|}

====Wii====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing City Folk
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Battalion Wars 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario Online RX
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Elebits
|Konami
|
|-
|''Family Table Tennis
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Link's Crossbow Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Super Sluggers
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 3 Corruption
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''My Pokémon Ranch
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[White knights|NiGHTs]]: Journey of Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Revolution
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1
|SNK
|
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic and the Secret Rings
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Chaos
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] Legends
|Namco Bandai Games
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Get Even
|Square Enix
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Mario Galaxy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Brawl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land: Shake It!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Music
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Sports
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''World of Goo
|2D Boy
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|}

====TurboGrafx-16 Entertainment SuperSystem====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Bonk's Adventure''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Wii
|}
====Nintendo 3DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Mighty Milky Way<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>
|Wayforward
|
|-
|''Frogger 3d
|Konami
|Attempted to sell on [[ebay]]
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon X and Y|X]]''
|Nintendo
|Friend Codes Available via [[Facebook]]
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon X and Y|Y]]''
|Nintendo
|Friend Codes Available via [[Facebook]]
|}
====Wii U====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Mario Kart 8''
|Nintendo
|
|}
===Sega===
====Sega Master System====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Wonder Boy''
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|}
====Sega Genesis (Mega Drive)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Alien Soldier''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Bubsy in- Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Desert Strike
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Fantasia
|Sega
|
|-
|''Genesis 6-Pak
|Sega
|
|-
|''Kid Chameleon
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Klax (video game)|Klax]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Monopoly
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''Ms. Pac Man
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Rocket Knight Adventures
|Konami
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Spinball
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Sex toys|Toy Story]]
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''X-Men
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega Game Gear====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''The Chessmaster
|Sega
|
|-
|''Columns
|Sega
|
|-
|''Desert Speedtrap Starring Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote
|Sega
|
|-
|''Krusty’s Fun House
|Flying Edge
|
|-
|''Quest for the Shaven Yak Starring Ren & Stimpy
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Drift 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Chaos
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Columns
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega CD====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Batman Returns
|Sega
|
|-
|''Double Switch
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Ecco: The Tides of Time
|Sega
|
|-
|''Flashback: [[Liquid Chris|The Quest for Identity]]
|U.S. Gold
|
|-
|''Jaguar XJ220
|JVC
|
|-
|''Jurassic Park
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mad Dog McCree
|American Laser Games
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Rape|Night Trap]]
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Classics Arcade Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sewer Shark|Sewer Shark]]
|Sony Imagesoft
|
|-
|''Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|
|-
|''Star Wars: Rebel Assault
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Time Gal
|Renovation
|
|-
|''Tomcat Alley
|Sega
|
|-
|''Wirehead
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega 32X====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''B.C. Racers
|Front Street Publishing
|
|-
|''Cosmic Carnage
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Knuckles Chaotix
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[I AM STRONG|Toughman Contest]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Racing Deluxe
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Saturn====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Baku Baku
|Sega
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden URA
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fighters Megamix
|Sega
|
|-
|''NiGHTs into Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic R
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter Remix
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Dreamcast====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Bleem! *Gran Turismo 2*
|Bleem
|An emulation disc for the PlayStation ''GT2''
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Chu Chu]] Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Crazy Taxi
|Sega
|
|-
|''Evolution
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Evolution 2
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Jet Grind Radio
|Sega
|
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''The Next Tetris
|Crave
|
|-
|''Q*Bert
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[List_of_cards_from_The_Wall_of_Originals#Espanolic|Samba de Amigo]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Dreamcast Generator D.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack V.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Skies of Arcadia
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Shuffle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]]: [[CADD Chef|Chef's]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Luv Shack]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Magnetic Neo
|Crave
|
|-
|''Suzuki Alstare Extreme Racing
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Time Stalkers
|Sega
|
|-
|''Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation
|Eidos Interactive
|
|-
|''Virtual-On Oratorio Tangram
|Activision
|
|-
|''Wetrix +
|XICAT
|
|}

===Sony===
==== PlayStation (PSX, PSone)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''2Xtreme
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Activision Classics
|Activision
|
|-
|''Amazing Virtual Sea-Monkies, The
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''Arcade's Greatest Hits - The Midway Collection 2
|Midway
|
|-
|''Atari Anniversary Edition Redux
|Atari
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden
|Takara
|
|-
|'''''Beast Wars [[Transformers]]
|Hasbro
|
|-
|''Blaster Master: Blasting Again
|Crave
|
|-
|''Bowling
|A1 Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Chris and anger|Bloody Roar]]
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Bubsy 3D
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Casper: Friends Around the World
|Sound Source
|
|-
|''Castlevania Chronicles
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 4
|Sony
|
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Universal Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bash
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Danger Girl
|THQ
|
|-
|''Dead in the Water
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Defcon 5
|Data East
|
|-
|''Destruction Derby
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Ultimate Battle 22
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII
|Square Enix
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ford Racing
|Empire Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Frogger
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gundam Battle Assault 2
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Plush Breasts|Hooters:]] Road Trip
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|989 Studios
|A physical copy
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jumping Flash!
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''King of Fighters ‘99
|SNK
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Klonoa: Door to Phantomile
|Namco
|
|-
|''Lego Island 2: The Brickster's Revenge
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Loaded
|Interplay
|
|-
|''Medal of Honor
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medal of Honor Underground
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medievil
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mega Man Legends
|Capcom
|
|-
|'''''[[Metal Gear Solid]]
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Miracle Space Race
|Mud Duck
|
|-
|''Mobile Light Force
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mortal Kombat 4
|Midway
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''MTV Music Generator
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Need For Speed: High Stakes
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Need For Speed III: Hot Pursuit
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|[[Obesity|Pizza Hut]] Sampler Disc 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Pooh's]] Party Game: In Search of the Treasure
|Disney
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack 1
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Summer 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Winter 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''Porsche Challenge
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction
|Warner Brothers
|
|-
|''Puzzle Star Sweep
|A1 Games
|
|-
|''Rally Cross
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman 2: The Great Escape
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director's Cut
|Capcom
|A physical copy
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director’s Cut
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
|Capcom
|A demo disc
|-
|''R-Types
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''R-Type Delta
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''SimCity 2000
|Maxis
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Small Soldiers
|Electronic Arts
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''SnoCross Championship Racing
|Crave Entertainment
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Space Jam
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Spec Ops: Airborne Commando
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Covert Assault
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Ranger Elite
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Stealth Patrol
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Speed Racer
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Homo|Spice World]]
|Psygnosis
|
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Universal Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro: Year of the Dragon
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha 2
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Suikoden
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Superstar Dance Club: #1 Hits
|XS Games
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Syphon Filter 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ten Pin Alley
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Toy Story 2
|Sony PlayStation
|
|-
|''Twisted Metal 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Um Jammer Lammy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Vandal Hearts
|Konami
|
|-
|''V.I.P.
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense
|Activision
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
|Williams
|
|-
|''XS Junior League Soccer
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|}

====PlayStation 2 (PS2)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 105
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 106
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 107
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 108
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 109
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 110
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 111
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 112
|Sony
|
|-
|''Aeon Flux
|Majesco
|
|-
|''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] - Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
|Midway
|
|-
|''[[Britney Spears|Britney's]] Dance Beat
|THQ
|
|-
|''Crash Nitro Kart
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Crash [[Crystal Weston Chandler|Twinsanity]]
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
|Konami
|
|-
|''Dark Cloud
|Sony
|
|-
|''EyeToy Play
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''[[Family Guy]]
|2K/Fox
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 2
|-
|''Fatal Frame
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto 3
|Rockstar Games
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]].
|-
|'''''[[Guitar Hero]]
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero II
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Encore - Rocks The 80s
|Red Octane
|
|-
|''The Guy Game
|Gathering
|
|-
|''InuYasha: The Secret of the Cursed Mask
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Jak X: Combat Racing
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 10
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 11
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 14
|Sony
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Volume 3
|Konami
|
|-
|''Kingdom Hearts
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil
|Namco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marc Eckō's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure|Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo]]
|Bandai
|
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2
|Sony
|
|-
|PSUnderground Summer Sampler
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection Plus
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur III
|Bandai/Namco
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5: Special Edition
|Sega
|
|-
|''Taiko Drum Master
|Namco
|
|-
|''Tekken Tag Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''[[Transformers]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''Unreal Tournament
|Infogrames
|
|}

====PlayStation 3 (PS3)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''3D Dot Game Heroes
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Age of Booty
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the [[PlayStation Network]]
|-
|''Altered Beast
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ape Escape (Playstation Move)
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Aquatopia
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core 4
|Sega
|
|-
|''Astro Tripper
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Back to the Future: The Game
|Telltale
|Both the disc version and the downloadable version
|-
|''Band Hero
|Activision
|
|-
|''Battle Fantasia
|Aksys
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Beatles: Rock Band
|MTV Games
|
|-
|''Beat Sketcher <ref>[[:File:BeatSketcher20101012.png]]</ref>
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bejeweled 3
|Popcap
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bionic Commando (2009)
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Bionic Commando Rearmed
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bioshock
|2K Games
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blade Kitten
|Atari
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blast Factor
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $8 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blokus
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle
|Relentless Software
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bomberman Ultra
|Hudson Soft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Borderlands
|2K Games
|
|-
|''Braid
|Number None
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[Brutal Legend|Brütal Legend]]'''''
|Electronic Arts
|Chris's 50th physical acquisition for the PS3.
|-
|''BurgerTime World Tour
|MonkeyPaw Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burn Zombie Burn
|Pinnacle
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burnout Paradise
|Electronic Arts
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $67 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Monster Rally
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Robo Jam
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz TV
|Sony
|Approximately $31 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz World
|Sony
|
|-
|''Calling All Cars
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Catherine
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Championship Sprint
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
|Atari
|
|-
|''Comet Crash
|Pelfast
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Comix Zone
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Costume Quest
|THQ
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crash Commando
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crescent Pale Mist
|Rockin' Android
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Critter Crunch
|Capybara Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Cuboid
|TikGames, LLC
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Dark Sector
|D3 Publisher
|
|-
|''Dead Space
|Electronic Arts
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice
|NIS America
|Approximately $65 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Burst Limit
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Chandler cats|Droplitz]]
|Atlus
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
|Bethesda
|"Game of the Year Edition"
|-
|''Elefunk
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Enchanted Arms
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''[[The Eye of Judgement]]
|Sony
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Fairytale Fights
|Playlogic
|
|-
|''Fallout: New Vegas
|Bethesda
|
|-
|''Far Cry 2
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Obesity|Fat]] Princess
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''flOw
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Homo|Flower]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Folklore
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fret Nice
|Tecmo
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Frogger Returns
|Konami
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Giant Enemy Crab|Genji: Days of the Blade]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Go! Puzzle
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Go! Sports Ski
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sports Skydiving
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $12 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[God of War]] III
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto IV
|Rockstar Games
|
|-
|''Gravity Crash
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Green Day: Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|Interestingly enough, their frontman is a [[homo]].
|-
|''GripShift v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Gauntlet II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 5
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Aerosmith
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Hits
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Metallica
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Van Halen
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero World Tour
|Red Octane
|
|-
|''Gunstar Heroes
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hail to the Chimp
|Gamecock
|
|-
|''Hamilton's Great Adventure
|Fatshark
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Heavenly Sword
|Sony
|
|-
|''Heavy Rain
|Sony
|
|-
|''High Stakes: Poker Edition
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''High Velocity Bowling
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The House of the Dead III
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''inFamous
|Sony
|
|-
|''Invincible Tiger: The Legend of Han Tao
|Namco Bandai Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Jak and Daxter Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jeopardy!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Joust
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Killzone 2
|Sony
|Approximately $6 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lair
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Last Guy
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The Lego Movie Videogame
|Warner Bros
|
|-
|''Lego Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
|Funsta
|
|-
|''Lemmings
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''LIMBO
|Playdead
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Linger in Shadows
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|Approximately $98 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''LittleBigPlanet 2
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''LittleBigPlanet 3
|Sony
|
|-
|''LocoRoco Cocoreccho!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mainichi Issho
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Ultimate Alliance
|Activision
|
|-
|''Mega [[JERKS|Man]] 9
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mega Man 10
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mesmerize
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Sonichu's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|'''''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Monster Madness: Grave Danger
|South Peak Interactive
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat (2009)
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Motorstorm
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Motorstorm RC
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mushroom Wars
|Creat Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Namco Museum Essentials
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Noby Noby Boy
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Novastrike
|Tiki Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Nucleus
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PAIN
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $41 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Racers
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Shooter
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Piyotama
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Q*Bert v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampage
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampart
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank Future: [[Fuck Quest|Quest for Booty]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rayman 3 HD
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Red Faction Guerrilla
|THQ
|
|-
|''Resident Evil 5
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Resistance: Fall of Man
|Sony
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 3
|-
|''Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Band 2
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Revolution
|Konami
|
|-
|''Saints Row 2
|THQ
|
|-
|''Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 1: The Penal Zone
|Telltale Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''SAW
|Konami
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars Tennis
|Sega
|
|-
|''The Simpsons Game
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Siren: Blood Curse
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Snakeball
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)
|Sega
|Approximately $7.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode 1
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Unleashed
|Sega
|Approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] IV
|Namco Bandai
|"Premium edition"; approximately $33.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''SoulCalibur V
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 3
|Activision
|"Collector’s edition"
|-
|''Stranglehold
|Midway
|"Collector’s edition"; approximately $15 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Stuntman Ignition
|THQ
|
|-
|''Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super [[Mass debating|Rub a Dub]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Stardust HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars
|Psyonix
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection
|Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Tekken Hybrid
|Namco
|
|-
|''Timeshift
|Sierra
|
|-
|''Toy Home
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $7 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
|Activision
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Trash Panic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
|Sony
|
|-
|''Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
|Sony
|
|-
|''UNO
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wheel of Fortune
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''WipEout HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolfenstein 3D
|Activision
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''X-Blades
|SouthPeak Interactive
|
|-
|''Zen Pinball
|Zen Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|}

====PlayStation Portable (PSP)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Ape Escape Academy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Escape ~ On the Loose
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Quest
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core: Formula Front - Extreme Battle
|Agetec
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury - Blazin' Trails
|Sony
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury Pro
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Beats
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Fuck quest|Brooktown High]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Bust-A-Move Deluxe
|Majesco
|
|-
|''BUZZ! Master Quiz
|Sony
|
|-
|''Carol Vorderman's Sudoku
|Secret Stash
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Darkstalkers Chronicle - The Chaos Tower
|Capcom
|Chris's 50th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|''Daxter
|Sony
|
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $5 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Every Extend Extra
|BVG
|
|-
|''EXIT
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Frogger: [[Slow-in-the-minds|Helmet Chaos]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gangs of London
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gangs Of London
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus Special Edition: Battle of Attica
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gripshift
|Red Mile
|
|-
|''Guilty Gear Judgement
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Gunpey
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''Gurumin - A Monstrous Adventure
|Mastiff Games
|
|-
|''[[Harvey Birdman Commercial|Harvey Birdman]] - Attorney At Law
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Hot Pixel
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Recycling|Infected]]
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Cwcville|Kingdom of Paradise]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Stars Wars II: The Original Trilogy
|Lego Media
|
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Locoroco
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines II
|BVG
|
|-
|''Mercury Meltdown
|Ignition
|
|-
|''Mind Quiz
| Ubisoft
|
|-
|''MLB 07: The Show
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam - Battle Royale
|Bandai Namco Games
|A Japanese import
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Autism|PQ Practical Intelligence Quotient]]
|D3
|
|-
|''Puzzle Challenge Crosswords and More
|Crave
|
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank: [[Duck|Size Matters]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sampler Disc for PSP Vol.1
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Clover and Snoopy|Snoopy]] Vs. the Red Baron
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''SOCOM U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals
|Sega
|Chris's 25th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals 2
|Sega
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Extreme
|Taito
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Combat Ops
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Tekken: Dark Resurrection
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''The Con
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Fridays After Five|Ultimate Block Party]]
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''WipEout Pure
|Sony
|
|-
|''WTF: Work Time Fun
|D3
|
|}

====Universal Media Disc (UMD) Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Ah! My Goddess the Movie
|Geneon
|
|-
|''Creature Comforts: The Complete First Season
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Family Guy]]: Freakin' Sweet Collection
|Fox
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fun with Dick and Jane
|Columbia
|
|-
|''Into the Blue
|MGM
|
|-
|''Lords Of Dogtown
|Columbia
|
|-
|''National Lampoon's Animal House
|Universal
|
|-
|''[[Some Favored Comedians|Saturday Night Live]] Collection - The Best of [[Obesity|Chris Farley]]
|Lions Gate
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]] ~ When Technology Attacks!
|Comedy Central
|
|-
|''Spider-Man New Animated Series The Mutant Menace
|Marvel
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 2 UMD Movie
|Columbia
|
|-
|''STEALTH
|Columbia
|
|-
|''[[Virgin with rage|Superbad]]: Unrated Extended Edition
|Columbia
|
|-
|''Wedding Crashers: Uncorked Edition
|New Line
|
|}

====PlayStation Vita (PSV)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Army Corps of Hell
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Dungeon Hunter: Alliance
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Escape Plan
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hustle Kings
|Sony
|
|-
|''Little Deviants
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines Electronic Symphony
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]] [[Ohio trip|Roadtrip]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''MotorStorm: RC
|Sony
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Plants vs. Zombies
|Popcap
|
|-
|''Rayman Origins
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Reality Fighters
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ridge Racer
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Sumioni: Demon Arts
|AQUIRE
|
|-
|''Super Stardust Delta
|Sony
|
|-
|''Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
|Drinkbox Studios
|
|-
|''Touch My Katamari
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Uncharted: Golden Abyss
|Sony
|
|-
|''Unit 13
|Sony
|
|-
|''Welcome Park
|Sony
|A tutorial game that comes with the Vita
|-
|''WipEout 2048
|Sony
|
|}

===Microsoft===
Despite Chris's avowed hatred of da [[HEXBox]] 360, he tried to sell several games for the original Xbox on [[eBay]], making it possible that he owned one.<ref>[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]</ref>
====Xbox====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']]
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]''
|Vivendi Games
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]''
|Gotham Games
|
|}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's Blu-ray discs]]
*[[Miyamoto Saga]]
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''
*''[[Sonichu Advance]]''
*''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''
*[[Video games]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv The Excel file]
*[http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2 Purchases from May 7th onward]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

User talk:Boomhauer

2015-01-01T07:08:30Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* My edit */ new section

Having a little trouble uploading images, and couldn't find it anywhere in the Contents:Help or related sections.

Thanks ahead for any information on it.

== Chris and Science ==

Thinking about creating a new section on Chris's "views" of science, tying in [[Chris and reality|Chris and reality]] and [[Chris and religion|Chris and religion]]. If anyone's interested, please let me know, as I don't want to create a whole article if it's unnecessary. Thanks ahead for any feedback.

* I would argue that it's unnecessary to tie the two together. We don't need the same things said on two pages stretched onto a third. [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 06:32, 21 August 2014 (UTC)

== File upload titling ==
I appreciate all of the new content, but I recommend that you use titles for the files that are more specific and don't run the risk of trampling on other filenames. So instead of 'Sonichu fanart' you could use 'Sonichu vs. Chaos Beast' or instead of 'but in the stone stage' you could use 'Back in the Stone Age Collage'. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 00:46, 19 August 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback, I'll be sure to title the rest accordingly. Boomhauer (Boomhauer) 1:15, 19 August 2014 (UTC)

== Chris and English ==

Hi, I see you are a grammar nazi, so you could help me. Since English is my second language, I can't understand some Chris's errors that are likely obvious for a native English speaker:
# Why is the CWCism "[[Minor_CWC-isms#A|And such]]" considered wrong? I thought it's a normal phrase...
# What's wrong with this quote: "Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET."? [[Death#Chris himself (1982-)|Here]] it is linked to the [[Chris and English]] page, so I assume that he failed at the end of the sentence, but ''how''? Would the correct sentence be like "I'm still not ready for it"?
Can you explain these, please? I'm NOT about sperging, it's just interesting for me. [[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 11:08, 29 November 2014 (UTC)

Oh, well, I'm a little flattered you came to me with the issue, then. As for both, I'd think it's more along the lines that Chris overuses certain words and phrases, such as "y'all" (which is not a word), "I tell you what", etc. The whole fear of death sentence might just be more the fact That Chris likes To CAPITALIZE words At Random and use run-on sentences without ever double-checking his commas or, words, or stuff, rather than having to do with actual grammatical errors in the sentence structure. [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 12:55, 29 November 2014 (UTC)
*Thanks a lot. [[User:Gunter|Gunter]] ([[User talk:Gunter|talk]]) 21:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)

== My edit ==

Hi, I am the user who put the Mien Kampf pic on the [[26 December 2014]] page. Just wanted to make something clear. I never meant that I thought Chris was Hitler, I was just making a reference to the Beer Hall Putsch and Hitler's autobiography (My Struggle). I am sorry I gave you or anyone else the wrong idea. I thought it was a lot more tame than the picture of Chris ''as'' Hitler on the [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]] page, so I just expected it to be found as humorous. Again, my apologies.--[[User:TRUEandHONESTuser|TRUEandHONESTuser]] ([[User talk:TRUEandHONESTuser|talk]]) 07:08, 1 January 2015 (UTC)

26 December 2014

2014-12-31T01:40:07Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

{{Ongoing}}
'''26 December 2014''' (aka The Game Hall Putsch of 2014) was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Once again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]], and once again, it involves [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris moments before the assault.]]

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the purpose of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise]] (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple toy sunglasses]] as a [[Honor roll|"disguise"]]. Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to [[Chris and negotiation|"Don't call anybody!"]] as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of encounter with a [[JERKS|man]] in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris [[Honor roll|trying to get in the wrong car]] in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that [[Sub-episodes|he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] and get sympathy out of his [[white knight|white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|left|A hit new [[Netflix]] show rocking the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time (possibly more serious ones), and they are being filed by a stranger, not [[Michael Snyder|someone who knows him]].

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout.]]

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps even [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help ''once again'' is also in question, and obviously greatly [[Chris and psychology|hoped for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include Snyder deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]], and for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's [[white knight|white knights]] were the gift that just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris [[Chris and his Ego|simply expects to be bailed out]].

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public. It'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]].

On December 29th, it was confirmed that Chris had posted bail and left jail.

== Chris's side of the story ==

[[File:Meinkampf.jpg|thumb|By 2016, Chris will publish his autobiography (in prison).]]
As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[troll|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his Facebook. It's also noteworthy that many of his [[White knight|White Knights]] are pretty abhored by Chris' actions. It seems this time around, everyone is against him, regardless if the post he made has over 225 likes.

In this illuminating tract, Chris is seemingly oblivious to just how self-damning the stuff he's saying is. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png
ChrisMugshot.jpg
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee 1''': (To customer at register): Twenty-two ten. (Laughs)

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee 2''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
A police scanner report of the events after the mace assault leading up to Chris's arrest.

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2014-12-31T01:39:51Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: Strikingly similar to the beer hall putsch

{{Ongoing}}
'''26 December 2014'''(aka The Game Hall Putsch of 2014) was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Once again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]], and once again, it involves [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris moments before the assault.]]

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the purpose of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise]] (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple toy sunglasses]] as a [[Honor roll|"disguise"]]. Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to [[Chris and negotiation|"Don't call anybody!"]] as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of encounter with a [[JERKS|man]] in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris [[Honor roll|trying to get in the wrong car]] in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that [[Sub-episodes|he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] and get sympathy out of his [[white knight|white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|left|A hit new [[Netflix]] show rocking the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time (possibly more serious ones), and they are being filed by a stranger, not [[Michael Snyder|someone who knows him]].

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout.]]

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps even [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help ''once again'' is also in question, and obviously greatly [[Chris and psychology|hoped for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include Snyder deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]], and for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's [[white knight|white knights]] were the gift that just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris [[Chris and his Ego|simply expects to be bailed out]].

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public. It'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]].

On December 29th, it was confirmed that Chris had posted bail and left jail.

== Chris's side of the story ==

[[File:Meinkampf.jpg|thumb|By 2016, Chris will publish his autobiography (in prison).]]
As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[troll|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his Facebook. It's also noteworthy that many of his [[White knight|White Knights]] are pretty abhored by Chris' actions. It seems this time around, everyone is against him, regardless if the post he made has over 225 likes.

In this illuminating tract, Chris is seemingly oblivious to just how self-damning the stuff he's saying is. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png
ChrisMugshot.jpg
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee 1''': (To customer at register): Twenty-two ten. (Laughs)

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee 2''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
A police scanner report of the events after the mace assault leading up to Chris's arrest.

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2014-12-31T01:36:15Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Chris's side of the story */

{{Ongoing}}
'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Once again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]], and once again, it involves [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris moments before the assault.]]

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the purpose of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise]] (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple toy sunglasses]] as a [[Honor roll|"disguise"]]. Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to [[Chris and negotiation|"Don't call anybody!"]] as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of encounter with a [[JERKS|man]] in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris [[Honor roll|trying to get in the wrong car]] in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that [[Sub-episodes|he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] and get sympathy out of his [[white knight|white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|left|A hit new [[Netflix]] show rocking the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time (possibly more serious ones), and they are being filed by a stranger, not [[Michael Snyder|someone who knows him]].

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout.]]

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps even [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help ''once again'' is also in question, and obviously greatly [[Chris and psychology|hoped for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include Snyder deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]], and for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's [[white knight|white knights]] were the gift that just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris [[Chris and his Ego|simply expects to be bailed out]].

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public. It'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]].

On December 29th, it was confirmed that Chris had posted bail and left jail.

== Chris's side of the story ==

[[File:Meinkampf.jpg|thumb|By 2016, Chris will publish his autobiography (in prison).]]
As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[troll|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his Facebook. It's also noteworthy that many of his [[White knight|White Knights]] are pretty abhored by Chris' actions. It seems this time around, everyone is against him, regardless if the post he made has over 225 likes.

In this illuminating tract, Chris is seemingly oblivious to just how self-damning the stuff he's saying is. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png
ChrisMugshot.jpg
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee 1''': (To customer at register): Twenty-two ten. (Laughs)

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee 2''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
A police scanner report of the events after the mace assault leading up to Chris's arrest.

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

100 2357.MOV

2014-12-30T05:33:55Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly.

Chris's speech implied that he would spend time outside of his [[14 Branchland Court|humble abode]] and attempt to socialize with others. Unsurprisingly, he instead spent the majority of his time playing [[PS3]] and making [[Little Big Planet]] mods. Chris would return to the Internet in full, complete with videos, roughly 8 months later. However, he has [[tomgirl|never been]] [[September 2011|the same]] [[28 October 2011|since]] 2010, and this could be classified as the final chapter of the classic Chris-Chan we all loved.

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Attention! [[George W. Bush|Read my lips!]]

Online socialization... is a [[Muscle bra|bust]]. [[Chris and English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: [[Calling Out|NO MORE VIDEOS!]]

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]!

[''[[Pedo-glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|whips off his glasses and shakes out his hair]]'']

[[Gay|I'm out.]] ''[turns off the camera]''

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler leaves the real world
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VprlzHU8MvI&feature=related}}
}}
What he was really trying to say.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2278]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-22]]

Michael Snyder

2014-12-30T05:20:42Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Shit gets real (2011-2012) */

{{Template:DeadLinks}}
{{quote|'''Chris:''' I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''Mike:''' He probably will.|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-1956 (age 58)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| JEW (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011 - 2014)
|-
|}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>; Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) was the [[manajerk|owner]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, giving him [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] to rage at.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> and even a [[pedofork| child molester]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris got legal charges for a more serious attack.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, he scared the small children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and generally was a racist, homophobic creep. He would also truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[niggos|black kid]]. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though, as "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says [[Mimms]].

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

Chris is vague about why he thinks he was banned; he has said that ''"Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."''<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>

==Years of hatred (2008-11)==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris linked Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

Chris's violent urges against Snyder periodically came to the surface, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris drove to the PLACe and Mike appeared on YouTube and commented ''"Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it."'' Chris claimed that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.<ref>[[6 June 2010]]</ref> Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments, most notably: ''"When I go to [[CWCville|hell]], I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other [[pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder."''<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shares Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central: ''"Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. ''[...]'' Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.''

==Shit gets real (2011-2012)==
{{main|28 October 2011}}
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|250px|Artist's impression of the Jew-Spider]]
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit Snyder with their vehicle, injuring him, and were arrested near the scene. Both faced charges for hit and run, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault and Barb had felony assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official.]] Mike also filed a civil suit against them both.

In a Facebook status update from 13 February 2012, Chris recounted a brief dispute with his mother, instigated when Chris flipped off a [[Jerkop]]. He concluded with a somewhat cryptic remark: "I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands." Whether Barbara has developed an irrational hatred of Snyder to match her son's, or whether Chris is simply being overdramatic, remains uncertain.

Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder in fact pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" in court (though Snyder himself was apparently not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

===Post-trial===

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in [[2013#August|August 2013]]:
{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}
Note that classic Chris paranoia, where "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" is a threat. And his typical misunderstanding of the law - Chris is required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa.

As of June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys is closed, for unknown reasons.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

26 December 2014

2014-12-30T05:01:10Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

{{Ongoing}}
'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Once again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]], and once again, it involves [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris moments before the assault.]]

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the purpose of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise]] (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple toy sunglasses]] as a [[Honor roll|"disguise"]]. Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to [[Chris and negotiation|"Don't call anybody!"]] as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of encounter with a [[JERKS|man]] in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris [[Honor roll|trying to get in the wrong car]] in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that [[Sub-episodes|he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] and get sympathy out of his [[white knight|white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|left|A hit new [[Netflix]] show rocking the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time (possibly more serious ones), and they are being filed by a stranger, not [[Michael Snyder|someone who knows him]].

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps even [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help ''once again'' is also in question, and obviously greatly [[Chris and psychology|hoped for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include Snyder deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]], and for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's [[white knight|white knights]] were the gift that just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris [[Chris and his Ego|simply expects to be bailed out]].

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public. It'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]].

On December 29th, it was confirmed that Chris had posted bail and left jail.

== Chris's side of the story ==

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[troll|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his Facebook. It's also noteworthy that many of his [[White knight|White Knights]] are pretty abhored by Chris' actions. It seems this time around, everyone is against him, even regardless if the post he made has over 225 likes.

In this illuminating tract, Chris is seemingly oblivious to just how self-damning the stuff he's saying is. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee''' (To customer at register): Twenty-two ten. (Laughs)

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2014-12-30T04:41:38Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

{{Ongoing}}
'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Once again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]], and once again, it involves [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris moments before the assault.]]

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the purpose of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise]] (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple toy sunglasses]] as a [[Honor roll|"disguise"]]. Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to [[Chris and negotiation|"Don't call anybody!"]] as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of encounter with a [[JERKS|man]] in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris [[Honor roll|trying to get in the wrong car]] in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that [[Sub-episodes|he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] and get sympathy out of his [[white knight|white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|left|A hit new [[Netflix]] show rocking the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time, almost certainly more serious ones.

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps even [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help is also in question, and obviously greatly [[Chris and psychology|hoped for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off - for example, Snyder decided to seek leniency for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, put together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]], and for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's [[white knight|white knights]] are the gift that has just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris [[Chris and his Ego|simply expects to be bailed out]].

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public, it'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]].

On December 29th, it was confirmed that Chris had posted bail and left jail.

== Chris's side of the story ==

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[troll|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his Facebook. It's also noteworthy that many of his [[White knight|White Knights]] are pretty abhored by Chris' actions. It seems this time around, everyone is against him, even regardless if the post he made has over 225 likes.

In this illuminating tract, Chris is seemingly oblivious to just how self-damning the stuff he's saying is. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera, then blows a raspberry.'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee''' (To Chris): You're too tense. (Laughs)

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Chris and the law

2014-12-29T06:41:04Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* 2014 */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules established by a society to protect its members and ensure the orderly function of society. Their observance is usually maintained by [[Jerkop|law enforcement]] and penalties are placed on those who disobey the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his endless quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of [[2008]], and nothing has sunken into that [[Hello, Juffalo|clown head]] of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=6odVsyr3I40]</s> (the video is fine, but that comment is no longer present as of Jun 2014)</ref>}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Brutality- [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Godmode!Chris]]'s solution to Law Enforcement.]]

Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is uneasy at best, and dangerously naïve at worst. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll [[Ivy Q&A|threatening violence]] against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the Internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as [[Sign Destruction Video|threatening to murder]] [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page,<ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> and has attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads. Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] should be enforced ''in real life.''<ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!]]</ref>

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "NOOOOOOO!" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.<ref>[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]]</ref>

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the speed limit... while on his way to confront [[Liquid Chris]] and commit assault with a [[Megatron Pistol|deadly weapon]] upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In a [[May 2010]] video, Chris states that he believes a man who brutally beat his girlfriend to death with his bare hands deserved twenty years in prison for his crimes, which is just twice the penalty he wants for [[Tobacky|smoking]].<ref>[[05142010]]</ref>

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkop|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, and [[lie]] to people who are simply doing their jobs. And, of course, as any rational person (i.e. anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

The correspondence with Jackie revealed that in the trial on the [[Target]] incident, Chris thought that his work with the [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris_the_TCG_gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook.<ref>[[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place]]</ref> In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

Of interesting note, is that contrary to Chris's [[Women's rights|general]] [[Homos|political]] [[Niggos|views]], he seems to be in favor, or at least accepting of gun control legislation.<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref> Whether or not he has a firm understanding of what he's saying, it's at the very least a more rational stance than [[Wikipedia:Alex Jones (radio host)|certain other obese manchildren who make a living off posting angry videos of themselves on the internet]].

==Legal troubles==

The following is a list of incident Chris had with the law. This list may not be complete; in a telephone conversation with [[Ivy]] in 2009, [[Bob]] told her that Chris had in the past six or seven incidents with the law,<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#The end]]</ref> and yet this article lists only three incidents that precede 2010.

===2004===
On 11 September [[2004]], Chris was detained at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for loitering, and continually arguing with the staff over a number of months. The incident is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. Chris was banned from returning to the mall on his own and without his parents' company. However, it appears that this ban was lifted or ignored soon afterward.

===2005===
On 20 July [[2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct">[[:File:20050720-GC05009339-00.png|Disorderly conduct charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> and trespassing<ref name="2005 Trespassing">[[:File:20050720-GC05009340-00.png|Trespassing charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> at Target, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 7]] and [[Sub-Episode 8]]. After two hearings,<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct" /><ref name="2005 Trespassing" /> prosecutors chose to drop the case and Chris was not punished.

Five days later, Chris caused an auto accident when he followed another car too closely and rear-ended it. This went to court on 12 September 2005.<ref name="2005 Following Too Close">[[:File:20050728-GT05011195-00.png|Following too close, 28 July 2005]]</ref> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in court costs.

===2010===
Chris's various run-ins at [[The GAMe PLACe]] have resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times. At least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he trespassed on the property, though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris made yet another pilgrimage to The GAMe PLACe. Chris was armed with his camera, and while Mike was concerned that Chris wanted pictures of his daughter for [[Mass Debating|disturbing reasons]], Chris maintains that he merely wanted a picture of Mike [[Death threats|for use as a dartboard]]. Still disturbing, but in entirely different ways. Chris was caught in the parking lot despite trying to run away, and was questioned by the police, who made him delete the pictures he had taken, and basically told him to quit his shit. Chris made his [[6 June 2010]] video in response to these events.

===2011===
In a [[May 2011]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] post, Chris said that he has begun to use the ladies' restroom at his local mall while dressed in drag; he recounts an incident in which ''"a woman complains and tattles on me, and a [[JERK|stereotypical Brute male]] shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me."'' This supposed brute male may or may not have been with [[Jerkop|mall security]].

In his [[Calling Out|three new videos]] posted after 8-month-long hiatus from YouTube he tries to do something which some viewers of ''The Chandler Show'' believe to be blackmail. Chris admitted it by typing word ''blackmail'' in tags for last of them; however trolls hoping for a lawsuit [[saga]] shouldn't get their hopes up, because it's unlikely any of the [[trolls]] threatened by it would want to report him, given that they've all been trying to get him back onto the internet for months and wouldn't want to drive him off again. Not to mention Chris probably doesn't have anything on them at all. Note that under Virginia law, his demands are more likely to be considered extortion (still a class five felony) rather than blackmail.

In the same video, Chris also point blank accused [[Michael Snyder]] of molesting his own daughter, all while admitting that he doesn't have any concrete proof of his allegation. Given how prone he is to accusing others of slandering him (aka pointing out his bad qualities that are extremely evident to everyone but Chris), Chris's accusations are very hypocritical. If Michael Snyder did want to sue Chris in civil court, he would indeed have a case against him as Chris's allegations are textbook defamation. However, it's questionable what Snyder would win in litigation, aside from a [[PS3]], numerous children's [[toys]] and the five or so dollars in Chris's bank account.

On [[28 October 2011]], Chris ended up in the worst possible scenario, netting a felony charge and two misdemeanors in what appears to be a ''third'' attempt to enter the GAMe PLACe. It appears that the Virginia justice system had finally run out of patience.

As a direct result of his October 28 run in with Michael Snyder, Chris had found both himself and his [[barb|mother]] on the receiving end of a civil suit. Having been sentenced to community service and put under a probation, and being charged with paying Snyder's medical bills, this may very well have been the first time that he has felt ramifications for his accusations and threats. However, it is much more likely that he simply [[Chris and his Ego|doesn't care]], or still feels as if he were the [[Kick the Autistic|real victim]] in all of this.

===2012===

[[File:Card.PNG|thumb]]

On 4 [[February 2012]], it was revealed on his [[Facebook]] that Chris no longer has respect for ''any'' sort of law enforcement after the events of [[28 October 2011]], officially deeming everyone who upholds the law a [[Jerkop]]. At the same time, he revealed another encounter with the boys in blue that day. As he attempted to pass out fliers while at the mall, encouraging others to stay away from the Game Place, two Jerkops (or as Chris puts it, "a Jerkop and an accomplice") approach him. Despite the officers simply wanting to talk to him and letting him know he wasn't in any trouble, Chris's paranoia kicked in and he ran. While the story Chris gives seem to hint that the officers just wanted to tell him to knock off the distribution of fliers, Chris believed otherwise, citing that one of them called out his name and making him think they wanted to post another encounter with him on the Internet. He escaped by diving into a Mitsubishi, most likely replacing the dying piece of scrap that is [[Son-Chu]], and driving off.

On the 12th April, Chris [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|announced the loss of his virginity]], giving off strong hints that he had slept with a hired prostitute. He all but [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|confirmed this]] on the 1st May, when he said that he 'found her on the backpage', a website that solicits prostitutes. In the state of Virginia, this constitutes a Class 1 Misdeameanor and is therefore illegal. It is unknown whether or not Chris is aware of this, but it's very likely that if he is, [[Fuck Quest|he simply doesn't care.]]

On 28 [[April 2012]], Chris revealed another incident in the mall. Prior to his Facebook note on 30 [[March 2012]], Chris got into a shouting match with a troll on his cell phone at the mall. The shouting did not go unnoticed, and Chris ran for it once security was called in. On 25 April, Chris received a ban from the mall,<ref>[[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D]]</ref> though it is unknown if it was for that incident or an incident that happened between those two dates.

On 10 [[July 2012]], Chris was arraigned in court for the [[28 October 2011]] incident. After calling Snyder a "thieving liar" in the courtroom, Chris was sentenced to community service and put under a one-year probation. He was also ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills.

===2013===

In September 2013, Chris committed an act of vandalism (an arrestable offense) by defacing an [[HEX-BOX|XBox One]] display at a [[Wal-Mart]], but got off easy by merely just being banned from the store. Given his furious reaction to this and his track record with a [[Michael Snyder|certain store owner]] who also did the same, it remains to be seen if Chris would follow up on his threat to have his revenge. Also, much like his tantrum at the [[Fashion Square Mall]] in 2005, Chris was also confronted by a [[jerkop]] at a local restaurant after scratching a woman's car with his, and screaming out loud in public. Chris claimed he was [[Chris_and_religion|cursing God for all his misfortune recently]].

===2014===

On 29 [[March 2014]], a report surfaced on the [[CWCki Forums]] saying that earlier that month Chris has been spotted trying to steal merchandise from [[Best Buy]]. The next day Chris denied the truthfulness of the report, but [[Kim]] confirmed that the attempted shoplifting had indeed occurred.<ref>[[March 2014 Facebook Posts#Rumour]]</ref>

In December 2014, Chris vandalised a Sonic Boom display in GameStop, and was as a result banned from the store, but not before he attacked a staff member who was calling security. By the 28th, he was confirmed to have been jailed. Current speculation that Chris caused disturbances in both JC Penny and Sears before attempting a carjacking in the parking lot are unconfirmed.

==Chris's parents and law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the [[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Cub Scouts]] after an [[autism|unknown incident]], his parents attempted to sue the [[Wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts of America]] for [[Kick the autistic|discrimination]].<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref>
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.<ref><s>[http://208.210.219.132/stars/mainmenu.jsp;jsessionid=0000XHMY2MEVFIV0HN4N1CX0EQA:ulnfn1uq], case 0438-94-2</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>
* When [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] took a picture of Chris and uploaded it to the Internet, Chris's parents threatened them with legal action (but never followed through).
* When [[Snorlax]] thought she had indigestion (actually [[Wikipedia:colitis|colitis]]), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* Chris inherited his love of running from problems - when his parents had their absurd case against Greene County used against them, their first reaction was to run to another county.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>
* When [[Asperchu|Alec]] called the Chandler household posing as [[GAMe PLACe]] employee Matthew Noble, they claimed that taking pictures of somebody without their knowledge or consent was "not illegal." It is ironic, given that they threatened to sue Mimms and Lucas for exactly the same thing.<ref name="Matthew Noble call">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>
* During that same call, Bob seems to completely disregard the concept that an individual can be barred from private property, saying, "it's a business place," as though that has any more bearing on the law and how it affects his son than, say, the color of the store's walls.<ref name="Matthew Noble call"/>
* On [[28 October 2011]], Barb was arrested for not only fleeing the scene of an accident, but also felony assault on a police officer, a crime that a remotely sensible person would never commit due to the serious consequences attached to it (mandatory minimum of six months' imprisonment on conviction); however, the recent death of her husband, her age, ill-health and dependent son probably helped earn her clemency.
*On 10 [[July 2012]], Barb was arraigned in court for her participation in the 28 October 2011 incident. She was sentenced to community service and is under a two year probation.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[trolls|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in the first and only of his supposed series of Q&A videos.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]]</ref>

On 31 [[December 2009]], Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already [[CWC-ism|Snail-Mailed]] President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and reality|advertisements he doesn't like illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain." This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on wikis. It also escapes Chris's mind that the President doesn't make laws. He would have had a better chance if he had mailed his congressman. He of course, will never bother.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], she interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received a well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, out of the blue decides to make peace. He went to her office and left her a [[:File:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorstep.<ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]]</ref> Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure [[Autism|autistic]] logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, he's not liable.<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for [[JERKS|men]] to ever show their [[Reldnahc|bare chest]] (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, disregarding [[women]], [[Homos|gay men]] and boxing enthusiasts), and two he wants to [[Women's rights|force all women]] in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

Due to Chris being forced away from the Internet, Chris began to formulate a new law, the "Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing," starting with his second [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]], [[Don'tGetTrolled!]]. What this entails is unknown, but by the sounds if it, he wishes for a law where no one can ever speak up against anyone in a negative tone, thus allowing Chris to continue to have his e-peen stroked while the trolls can't touch him. While there have been laws that punish those that lead to others being harmed via the Internet, the Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever, as it leads to a complete and utter smashing of the [[Wikipedia:Bill of Rights|Bill of Rights]], specifically [[Wikipedia:Freedom of Speech|Freedom of Speech]].

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the comic==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, authoritarianism. In [[CWCville]], Chris has banned a number of things in his city. [[Tobacky|Smoking]] or drinking [[alcohol]] would lead one to be either sentenced to ten years in prison or a much more lenient US$1,500 fine (although, as [[CWCville]] uses C-Quarters and W-Quarters for currency, it's not clear why fines are levied in US dollars).<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008">[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> Indeed, importing tobacco or alcohol is the most serious crime in the city, apparently receiving a greater punishment than murder or rape.<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008"/> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law against alcohol]] in [[June 2009]].

The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to, not to mention the fact that full legal rights for women are already established across the US, suggesting that Chris (or one of his predecessors) has imposed discriminating laws against women in CWCville.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing Mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "[[dating education|Dating Education]]" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight."

[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatsoever, giving the impression that Chris and his [[Pokémon]] abominations are the only thing standing between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] seems to reveal that there are three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force (distinct from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[jerkops]]), as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law?|[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In conversation with [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks which he uses as a "Police Force", and all his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy immunity from prosecution and are above the law.<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> If we add all this to the fact that there are no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of an insane, tyrannical dictator running it with an iron fist, and backed with super-powered goons who are free to do any atrocity with impunity. According to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] mentally scans the city perimeters for any sexual acts, and reports any [[homos|homosexual]] activity to the authorities. The participants are then "tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service."<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck]]</ref> Apparently in CWCville, the [[Wikipedia:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution]] does not apply in matters of personal sexual choice, and neither does the [[wikipedia:Lawrence v. Texas|U.S. Supreme Court ruling]] finding sodomy laws to be unconstitutional.

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] has shown no less than four grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building, the murder of over one hundred alleged "trolls" in said destruction, breaking and entering, and destroying Internet files and property. There was no evidence to suggest that this act of mass murder was even investigated by the authorities, and the comic portrays this act of [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]] as Chris and his goons heroically defeating a gang of criminals.

Following the death of [[Simonla]], the culprits ([[Alec]], [[Mao]], [[Sean]] and [[Evan]]) are subjected to a show trial, and given no defense attorney by the state (violating the [[Wikipedia:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth Amendment]]) forcing Sean to act as their lawyer despite being [[Tobacky|high as a kite]]. There is no solid evidence presented for the murder charge, aside from the Voltorb remote (which the prosecutor never tried to prove belonged to them) and wholly unreliable "psychic evidence" extracted by Magi-Chan. When they're railroaded and found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged'' (read: murdered brutally by cartoon characters), in a gross violation of the [[Wikipedia:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth Amendment]] forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Demonstrating Chris's limited understanding of trials (as his knowledge of trials stems purely from television), the kangaroo court integrates both elements of civil and criminal trials. The Asperpedia Four are not only prosecuted for murder by a [[Marvey Blaziken|state attorney]], as per a criminal trial, but also charged with defamation of character, libel, and copyright infringement (as well as several charges such as "profanity to the max" that would hold no water in an actual court) by Chris and his cohorts, as per a civil trial. Surely enough, Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu are sitting in a bench marked "PLAINTIF" [sic]. That both civil and criminal charges are included in one trial not only demonstrates a poor understanding of the courtroom process, but is further proof that Chris considers "slanderous mockeries" and other torts on par with major crimes such as murder and assault. To add to the equation, one cannot be given a death sentence (or any sentence, for that matter) for being guilty in a civil trial, but in the Asperpedia Four trial civil charges are the primary reason for the death sentence. In summary, the CWCville court system is a constitutional nightmare that violates multiple articles and amendments, and has no concept of due process. One must wonder why it is allowed to exist within the borders of the U.S.

tl;dr: Any semblance of law in CWCville exists solely to further the wishes of its tyrannical (and murderous) Mayor.

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Manajerk]]
*[[Chris and copyright]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and the law

2014-12-29T06:38:29Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* 2012 */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules established by a society to protect its members and ensure the orderly function of society. Their observance is usually maintained by [[Jerkop|law enforcement]] and penalties are placed on those who disobey the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his endless quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of [[2008]], and nothing has sunken into that [[Hello, Juffalo|clown head]] of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=6odVsyr3I40]</s> (the video is fine, but that comment is no longer present as of Jun 2014)</ref>}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Brutality- [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Godmode!Chris]]'s solution to Law Enforcement.]]

Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is uneasy at best, and dangerously naïve at worst. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll [[Ivy Q&A|threatening violence]] against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the Internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as [[Sign Destruction Video|threatening to murder]] [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page,<ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> and has attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads. Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] should be enforced ''in real life.''<ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!]]</ref>

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "NOOOOOOO!" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.<ref>[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]]</ref>

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the speed limit... while on his way to confront [[Liquid Chris]] and commit assault with a [[Megatron Pistol|deadly weapon]] upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In a [[May 2010]] video, Chris states that he believes a man who brutally beat his girlfriend to death with his bare hands deserved twenty years in prison for his crimes, which is just twice the penalty he wants for [[Tobacky|smoking]].<ref>[[05142010]]</ref>

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkop|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, and [[lie]] to people who are simply doing their jobs. And, of course, as any rational person (i.e. anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

The correspondence with Jackie revealed that in the trial on the [[Target]] incident, Chris thought that his work with the [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris_the_TCG_gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook.<ref>[[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place]]</ref> In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

Of interesting note, is that contrary to Chris's [[Women's rights|general]] [[Homos|political]] [[Niggos|views]], he seems to be in favor, or at least accepting of gun control legislation.<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref> Whether or not he has a firm understanding of what he's saying, it's at the very least a more rational stance than [[Wikipedia:Alex Jones (radio host)|certain other obese manchildren who make a living off posting angry videos of themselves on the internet]].

==Legal troubles==

The following is a list of incident Chris had with the law. This list may not be complete; in a telephone conversation with [[Ivy]] in 2009, [[Bob]] told her that Chris had in the past six or seven incidents with the law,<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#The end]]</ref> and yet this article lists only three incidents that precede 2010.

===2004===
On 11 September [[2004]], Chris was detained at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for loitering, and continually arguing with the staff over a number of months. The incident is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. Chris was banned from returning to the mall on his own and without his parents' company. However, it appears that this ban was lifted or ignored soon afterward.

===2005===
On 20 July [[2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct">[[:File:20050720-GC05009339-00.png|Disorderly conduct charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> and trespassing<ref name="2005 Trespassing">[[:File:20050720-GC05009340-00.png|Trespassing charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> at Target, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 7]] and [[Sub-Episode 8]]. After two hearings,<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct" /><ref name="2005 Trespassing" /> prosecutors chose to drop the case and Chris was not punished.

Five days later, Chris caused an auto accident when he followed another car too closely and rear-ended it. This went to court on 12 September 2005.<ref name="2005 Following Too Close">[[:File:20050728-GT05011195-00.png|Following too close, 28 July 2005]]</ref> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in court costs.

===2010===
Chris's various run-ins at [[The GAMe PLACe]] have resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times. At least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he trespassed on the property, though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris made yet another pilgrimage to The GAMe PLACe. Chris was armed with his camera, and while Mike was concerned that Chris wanted pictures of his daughter for [[Mass Debating|disturbing reasons]], Chris maintains that he merely wanted a picture of Mike [[Death threats|for use as a dartboard]]. Still disturbing, but in entirely different ways. Chris was caught in the parking lot despite trying to run away, and was questioned by the police, who made him delete the pictures he had taken, and basically told him to quit his shit. Chris made his [[6 June 2010]] video in response to these events.

===2011===
In a [[May 2011]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] post, Chris said that he has begun to use the ladies' restroom at his local mall while dressed in drag; he recounts an incident in which ''"a woman complains and tattles on me, and a [[JERK|stereotypical Brute male]] shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me."'' This supposed brute male may or may not have been with [[Jerkop|mall security]].

In his [[Calling Out|three new videos]] posted after 8-month-long hiatus from YouTube he tries to do something which some viewers of ''The Chandler Show'' believe to be blackmail. Chris admitted it by typing word ''blackmail'' in tags for last of them; however trolls hoping for a lawsuit [[saga]] shouldn't get their hopes up, because it's unlikely any of the [[trolls]] threatened by it would want to report him, given that they've all been trying to get him back onto the internet for months and wouldn't want to drive him off again. Not to mention Chris probably doesn't have anything on them at all. Note that under Virginia law, his demands are more likely to be considered extortion (still a class five felony) rather than blackmail.

In the same video, Chris also point blank accused [[Michael Snyder]] of molesting his own daughter, all while admitting that he doesn't have any concrete proof of his allegation. Given how prone he is to accusing others of slandering him (aka pointing out his bad qualities that are extremely evident to everyone but Chris), Chris's accusations are very hypocritical. If Michael Snyder did want to sue Chris in civil court, he would indeed have a case against him as Chris's allegations are textbook defamation. However, it's questionable what Snyder would win in litigation, aside from a [[PS3]], numerous children's [[toys]] and the five or so dollars in Chris's bank account.

On [[28 October 2011]], Chris ended up in the worst possible scenario, netting a felony charge and two misdemeanors in what appears to be a ''third'' attempt to enter the GAMe PLACe. It appears that the Virginia justice system had finally run out of patience.

As a direct result of his October 28 run in with Michael Snyder, Chris had found both himself and his [[barb|mother]] on the receiving end of a civil suit. Having been sentenced to community service and put under a probation, and being charged with paying Snyder's medical bills, this may very well have been the first time that he has felt ramifications for his accusations and threats. However, it is much more likely that he simply [[Chris and his Ego|doesn't care]], or still feels as if he were the [[Kick the Autistic|real victim]] in all of this.

===2012===

[[File:Card.PNG|thumb]]

On 4 [[February 2012]], it was revealed on his [[Facebook]] that Chris no longer has respect for ''any'' sort of law enforcement after the events of [[28 October 2011]], officially deeming everyone who upholds the law a [[Jerkop]]. At the same time, he revealed another encounter with the boys in blue that day. As he attempted to pass out fliers while at the mall, encouraging others to stay away from the Game Place, two Jerkops (or as Chris puts it, "a Jerkop and an accomplice") approach him. Despite the officers simply wanting to talk to him and letting him know he wasn't in any trouble, Chris's paranoia kicked in and he ran. While the story Chris gives seem to hint that the officers just wanted to tell him to knock off the distribution of fliers, Chris believed otherwise, citing that one of them called out his name and making him think they wanted to post another encounter with him on the Internet. He escaped by diving into a Mitsubishi, most likely replacing the dying piece of scrap that is [[Son-Chu]], and driving off.

On the 12th April, Chris [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|announced the loss of his virginity]], giving off strong hints that he had slept with a hired prostitute. He all but [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|confirmed this]] on the 1st May, when he said that he 'found her on the backpage', a website that solicits prostitutes. In the state of Virginia, this constitutes a Class 1 Misdeameanor and is therefore illegal. It is unknown whether or not Chris is aware of this, but it's very likely that if he is, [[Fuck Quest|he simply doesn't care.]]

On 28 [[April 2012]], Chris revealed another incident in the mall. Prior to his Facebook note on 30 [[March 2012]], Chris got into a shouting match with a troll on his cell phone at the mall. The shouting did not go unnoticed, and Chris ran for it once security was called in. On 25 April, Chris received a ban from the mall,<ref>[[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D]]</ref> though it is unknown if it was for that incident or an incident that happened between those two dates.

On 10 [[July 2012]], Chris was arraigned in court for the [[28 October 2011]] incident. After calling Snyder a "thieving liar" in the courtroom, Chris was sentenced to community service and put under a one-year probation. He was also ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills.

===2013===

In September 2013, Chris committed an act of vandalism (an arrestable offense) by defacing an [[HEX-BOX|XBox One]] display at a [[Wal-Mart]], but got off easy by merely just being banned from the store. Given his furious reaction to this and his track record with a [[Michael Snyder|certain store owner]] who also did the same, it remains to be seen if Chris would follow up on his threat to have his revenge. Also, much like his tantrum at the [[Fashion Square Mall]] in 2005, Chris was also confronted by a [[jerkop]] at a local restaurant after scratching a woman's car with his, and screaming out loud in public. Chris claimed he was [[Chris_and_religion|cursing God for all his misfortune recently]].

===2014===

On 29 [[March 2014]], a report surfaced on the [[CWCki Forums]] saying that earlier that month Chris has been spotted trying to steal merchandise from [[Best Buy]]. The next day Chris denied the truthfulness of the report, but [[Kim]] confirmed that the attempted shoplifting had indeed occurred.<ref>[[March 2014 Facebook Posts#Rumour]]</ref>

In December 2014, Chris vandalised a Sonic Boom display in GameStop, and was as a result banned from the store, but not before he attacked the member of staff who was calling security. By the 28th, he was confirmed to have been jailed. Current speculation that Chris caused disturbances in both JC Penny and Sears before attempting a carjacking in the parking lot are unconfirmed.

==Chris's parents and law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the [[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Cub Scouts]] after an [[autism|unknown incident]], his parents attempted to sue the [[Wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts of America]] for [[Kick the autistic|discrimination]].<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref>
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.<ref><s>[http://208.210.219.132/stars/mainmenu.jsp;jsessionid=0000XHMY2MEVFIV0HN4N1CX0EQA:ulnfn1uq], case 0438-94-2</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>
* When [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] took a picture of Chris and uploaded it to the Internet, Chris's parents threatened them with legal action (but never followed through).
* When [[Snorlax]] thought she had indigestion (actually [[Wikipedia:colitis|colitis]]), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* Chris inherited his love of running from problems - when his parents had their absurd case against Greene County used against them, their first reaction was to run to another county.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>
* When [[Asperchu|Alec]] called the Chandler household posing as [[GAMe PLACe]] employee Matthew Noble, they claimed that taking pictures of somebody without their knowledge or consent was "not illegal." It is ironic, given that they threatened to sue Mimms and Lucas for exactly the same thing.<ref name="Matthew Noble call">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>
* During that same call, Bob seems to completely disregard the concept that an individual can be barred from private property, saying, "it's a business place," as though that has any more bearing on the law and how it affects his son than, say, the color of the store's walls.<ref name="Matthew Noble call"/>
* On [[28 October 2011]], Barb was arrested for not only fleeing the scene of an accident, but also felony assault on a police officer, a crime that a remotely sensible person would never commit due to the serious consequences attached to it (mandatory minimum of six months' imprisonment on conviction); however, the recent death of her husband, her age, ill-health and dependent son probably helped earn her clemency.
*On 10 [[July 2012]], Barb was arraigned in court for her participation in the 28 October 2011 incident. She was sentenced to community service and is under a two year probation.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[trolls|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in the first and only of his supposed series of Q&A videos.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]]</ref>

On 31 [[December 2009]], Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already [[CWC-ism|Snail-Mailed]] President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and reality|advertisements he doesn't like illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain." This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on wikis. It also escapes Chris's mind that the President doesn't make laws. He would have had a better chance if he had mailed his congressman. He of course, will never bother.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], she interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received a well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, out of the blue decides to make peace. He went to her office and left her a [[:File:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorstep.<ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]]</ref> Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure [[Autism|autistic]] logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, he's not liable.<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for [[JERKS|men]] to ever show their [[Reldnahc|bare chest]] (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, disregarding [[women]], [[Homos|gay men]] and boxing enthusiasts), and two he wants to [[Women's rights|force all women]] in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

Due to Chris being forced away from the Internet, Chris began to formulate a new law, the "Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing," starting with his second [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]], [[Don'tGetTrolled!]]. What this entails is unknown, but by the sounds if it, he wishes for a law where no one can ever speak up against anyone in a negative tone, thus allowing Chris to continue to have his e-peen stroked while the trolls can't touch him. While there have been laws that punish those that lead to others being harmed via the Internet, the Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever, as it leads to a complete and utter smashing of the [[Wikipedia:Bill of Rights|Bill of Rights]], specifically [[Wikipedia:Freedom of Speech|Freedom of Speech]].

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the comic==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, authoritarianism. In [[CWCville]], Chris has banned a number of things in his city. [[Tobacky|Smoking]] or drinking [[alcohol]] would lead one to be either sentenced to ten years in prison or a much more lenient US$1,500 fine (although, as [[CWCville]] uses C-Quarters and W-Quarters for currency, it's not clear why fines are levied in US dollars).<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008">[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> Indeed, importing tobacco or alcohol is the most serious crime in the city, apparently receiving a greater punishment than murder or rape.<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008"/> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law against alcohol]] in [[June 2009]].

The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to, not to mention the fact that full legal rights for women are already established across the US, suggesting that Chris (or one of his predecessors) has imposed discriminating laws against women in CWCville.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing Mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "[[dating education|Dating Education]]" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight."

[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatsoever, giving the impression that Chris and his [[Pokémon]] abominations are the only thing standing between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] seems to reveal that there are three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force (distinct from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[jerkops]]), as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law?|[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In conversation with [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks which he uses as a "Police Force", and all his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy immunity from prosecution and are above the law.<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> If we add all this to the fact that there are no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of an insane, tyrannical dictator running it with an iron fist, and backed with super-powered goons who are free to do any atrocity with impunity. According to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] mentally scans the city perimeters for any sexual acts, and reports any [[homos|homosexual]] activity to the authorities. The participants are then "tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service."<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck]]</ref> Apparently in CWCville, the [[Wikipedia:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution]] does not apply in matters of personal sexual choice, and neither does the [[wikipedia:Lawrence v. Texas|U.S. Supreme Court ruling]] finding sodomy laws to be unconstitutional.

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] has shown no less than four grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building, the murder of over one hundred alleged "trolls" in said destruction, breaking and entering, and destroying Internet files and property. There was no evidence to suggest that this act of mass murder was even investigated by the authorities, and the comic portrays this act of [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]] as Chris and his goons heroically defeating a gang of criminals.

Following the death of [[Simonla]], the culprits ([[Alec]], [[Mao]], [[Sean]] and [[Evan]]) are subjected to a show trial, and given no defense attorney by the state (violating the [[Wikipedia:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth Amendment]]) forcing Sean to act as their lawyer despite being [[Tobacky|high as a kite]]. There is no solid evidence presented for the murder charge, aside from the Voltorb remote (which the prosecutor never tried to prove belonged to them) and wholly unreliable "psychic evidence" extracted by Magi-Chan. When they're railroaded and found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged'' (read: murdered brutally by cartoon characters), in a gross violation of the [[Wikipedia:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth Amendment]] forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Demonstrating Chris's limited understanding of trials (as his knowledge of trials stems purely from television), the kangaroo court integrates both elements of civil and criminal trials. The Asperpedia Four are not only prosecuted for murder by a [[Marvey Blaziken|state attorney]], as per a criminal trial, but also charged with defamation of character, libel, and copyright infringement (as well as several charges such as "profanity to the max" that would hold no water in an actual court) by Chris and his cohorts, as per a civil trial. Surely enough, Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu are sitting in a bench marked "PLAINTIF" [sic]. That both civil and criminal charges are included in one trial not only demonstrates a poor understanding of the courtroom process, but is further proof that Chris considers "slanderous mockeries" and other torts on par with major crimes such as murder and assault. To add to the equation, one cannot be given a death sentence (or any sentence, for that matter) for being guilty in a civil trial, but in the Asperpedia Four trial civil charges are the primary reason for the death sentence. In summary, the CWCville court system is a constitutional nightmare that violates multiple articles and amendments, and has no concept of due process. One must wonder why it is allowed to exist within the borders of the U.S.

tl;dr: Any semblance of law in CWCville exists solely to further the wishes of its tyrannical (and murderous) Mayor.

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Manajerk]]
*[[Chris and copyright]]

{{Chris and}}

List of Chris's games

2013-12-23T20:59:36Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|thumb|left|[[CWCki]]'s [[America]]n readers helped pay for this. Anyone else suddenly feel like cheating on their taxes?]]
[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|One of their most valuable customers.]]

This is a catalog of [[Chris]]'s '''video game collection''', based in large part on a spreadsheet he sent to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in order to show how dedicated he is to video games. He surely is. The actual [http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv Excel file] contains more information about each game that Chris listed himself for some reason, like number of players for each game. Some games are obvious (every ''[[Sonic]]'' game (almost), every ''[[Pokémon]]'' game), some are surprising (''[[Homos|Barbie Game Girl]]''), some are bizarre (''Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickles|Pickled]] Edition''), and some are outright embarrassing (''Pooh's Party Game: In Search of the Treasure'').

For whatever reason, Chris's game inventory also includes demo discs, game peripherals (such as his [[PSEye]]), and other things that can't really be considered games (such as [[Wikipedia:Game Boy Advance Video|Game Boy Advance Video]] cartridges, a concept that failed to appeal to almost any American consumers...except, apparently, for Chris, who bought several of them). God only knows why Chris felt it was a brilliant idea to send a [[Nintendo]] executive a list of games he has on competing platforms, or to send a list of imports to a game company that practically invented region lock-out to prevent games from being imported.

The bulk of the list is only accurate to around the time of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], in January 2009. Luckily, his public [[PSN]] profile and other sources of information have made it possible to get a clearer picture of his ever-expanding [[PS3]] collection. Also, [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]] games and hardware are conspicuously missing from the list, but according to his [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he most likely owned one at some point.

Many [[trolls]] conservatively estimate that Chris and his family have spent at least $30,000 on video games in his lifetime (including $1,000 from a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1994 shopping spree]]), roughly 3 times the amount of Chris's annual [[Tugboat|income]] — your tax dollars at work. As of 2010, for downloaded games and other PSN content alone, he has spent nearly $3,500, and the toll continues to rise.

==Chris (barely) lets go==
In early August 2010, according to his [[Jackie E-mails 8|e-mails with Jackie]], Chris sold off "12 NES, 3 SNES, 6 Genesis, 9 Game Boy and 6 PSOne Games" at a local pawn shop, hoping to snag some spending money and get around his father's iron grip on his finances. (He attempted to sell 23 PlayStation games total. All but six were refused due to their poor condition.) A couple of weeks later, he went back and sold off more NES and SNES games, as well as his Super Nintendo console and a few accessories for it. Between both trips he pocketed a little over $80, but the extent of what he got rid of is not fully documented.

On 31 August, he made a third trip to the pawn shop, selling off his Nintendo 64 and all his games for the console. Total proceeds: $40. At the same time he tried to sell his 16-bit Sega consoles and games, but failed, since his Genesis was apparently malfunctioning.

Around the same time, Chris also made a couple of trips to his local GameStop to trade in some of his collection. In early August, he gave up "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP and 4 DS games" for $50 in store credit, which he immediately plowed back into a pre-order for more games. Later, around the end of the month, he traded in several Game Boy Advance, Gamecube, and Nintendo DS games for $100 worth of GameStop store credit. In both cases it's not clear exactly which titles he let go of.

In October 2010, Chris dropped by Plan 9 Music, a music store in Charlottesville, and sold them "7 PS3, 2 PSP, 4 Gamecube and 1 Wii game" along with several movie DVDs, although as usual he did not specify which titles. He thereby earned $48.75, most of which went directly into his stomach and Son-Chu's gas tank.

In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris mentioned the pawn shop trip to his enemies. A few weeks later, [[Clyde Cash]] obtained three of Chris's old games and his Super Game Boy from the pawn shop and uploaded pictures of the loot here on the [[CWCki]]. The pictures show that at one point, Chris labeled his games with his name and birthdate (which now serve as a True and Honest certificate of authentication), and that his copy of ''Dr. Mario'' was kept in less than satisfactory condition. If you live in [[Charlottesville, VA]] you can head down to Snooky's Pawn Shop and pick up your very own piece of Chris-chan memorabilia, and the best part is, Chris probably got paid less than a dollar each for his games.
<gallery>
File:Groupiz.jpg
File:Dk3v.jpg
File:Fotns.jpg ‎
File:Nametage.jpg|Nintendo Seal of Truth and Honesty
File:Drmariofull.jpg
File:Whytp.jpg
File:Thefuck.jpg
</gallery>

==The Games==
===Nintendo===
====Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:1942 (video game)|1942]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Baseball (1983 video game)|Baseball]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Batman (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Batman]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlequest|Castlequest]]''
|Nexoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania|Castlevania]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania II: Simon's Quest|Castlevania II: Simon's Quest]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse|Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Dance Aerobics|Dance Aerobics]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong 3|Donkey Kong 3]]''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Classics''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Déjà Vu''
|Kemco-Seika
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Dr. Mario (video game)|Dr. Mario]]''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Gyruss#NES_and_Famicom|Gyruss]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kabuki Quantum Fighter|Kabuki Quantum Fighter]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Kirby's Adventure''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Kung Fu''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda (video game)|The Legend of Zelda]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Little Nemo: The Dream Master|Little Nemo: The Dream Master]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Mcdonalds|M.C. Kids]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mendel Palace|Mendel Palace]]''
|Hudson Soft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid|Metroid]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Milon's Secret Castle''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Ninja Gaiden (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Ninja Gaiden]]''
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man''
|Tengen
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Pin*Bot (video game)|Pin-Bot]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:R.C. Pro-Am|R.C. Pro-AM]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Chris and english|Sesame Street ABC]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''Short Order/Eggsplode''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Solomon's Key''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:StarTropics|StarTropics]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Glove Ball|Super Glove Ball]]''
|Mattel
|Given that this game came with the [[Wikipedia:Power Glove|Power Glove]], it is possible Chris also owns the Glove (which is so...bad).
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros|Super Mario Brothers]]/[[Wikipedia:Duck Hunt|Duck Hunt]]/World Class Track Meet''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros. 2|Super Mario Brothers 2]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros. 3|Super Mario Brothers 3]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989 video game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_II:_The_Arcade_Game#Ports|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Tennis''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges (video game)|The Three Stooges]]''
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario's Woods|Wario's Woods]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)#NES_version|Wheel of Fortune]]''
|GameTek
|
|-
|''Wrecking Crew''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Game Boy====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Alleyway|Alleyway]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Barbie: Game Girl|Barbie]]:[[Tomgirl|Game Girl]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bases Loaded (video game)|Bases Loaded]]''
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Rescue of Princess Blobette|A Boy and His Blob: The Rescue of Princess Blobette]]''
|Absolute
|
|-
|''Brainbender''
|Electro-Brain
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania: The Adventure|Castlevania Adventure]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cool Spot|Cool Spot]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck (Capcom)|Darkwing]] [[Darkbind Sonichu|Duck]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong (Game Boy)|Donkey Kong]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Land|Donkey Kong Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Donald Duck|Duck Tales]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:F-1 Race|F-1 Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:List of Fist of the North Star video games|Fist of the North Star]]''
|Electro-Brain
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Game_and_Watch_Gallery#Game_.26_Watch_Gallery|Game and Watch Gallery]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Game Boy Camera|Game Boy Camera (red)]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|Game Boy Camera (blue)
|Nintendo
|That's right - two cameras. Gotta catch 'em all!
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Golf (video game)|Golf]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Heiankyo Alien|Heiankyo Alien]]''
|Meldac
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Home Alone (video game)|Home Alone]]''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters|Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kirby's Dream Land|Kirby's Dream Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kwirk|Kirk]]''
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marble Madness|Marble Madness]]''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge|Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man II (Game Boy)|Mega Man II]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid II: Return of Samus|Metroid II: Return of Samus]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Red and Blue|Blue]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Red''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pretty Soldier [[Sailor Moon]]''
|Angel
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Pretty Soilder Sailor Moon R''
|Angel
|A Japanese import
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Qix|Qix]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Quarth|Quarth]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ren & Stimpy: Cadet Adventures''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the 'Gator|Revenge of the Gator]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Shanghai''
|HAL
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land|Super Mario Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins|Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Scrabble''
|Milton-Bradley
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan'']]
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tennis (video game)|Tennis]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tetris (Game Boy)|Tetris]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break|Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Turrican|Turrican]]''
|Accolade
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!|Wario Blast]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3|Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wave Race|Wave Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''The Chessmaster''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''Legend of the Mystical Ninja
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mario Paint''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mega Man X''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Pilotwings''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Stunt Race FX''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Game Boy''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Kart''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Metroid''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Scope 6-in-1''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Safari''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Nintendo 64 (N64)====
According to an [[Jackie E-mails 12|e-mail to Jackie]], Chris sold his Nintendo 64 and all of the games listed below (save for the Wii downloads, obviously) in [[August 2010]].
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Cruisn' USA
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Diddy Kong Racing
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hey You, Pikachu!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Racers
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Trolls|Mischief Makers]]
||Nintendo
|
|-
|''Paper Mario''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle League
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sin & Punishment|Sin & Punishment]]''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Star Fox 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race 64''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Story''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Game Boy Color (GBC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 3''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gex: Enter the Gecko''
|Crave
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Crystal
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Gold
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle Challenge
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Silver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trading Card Game
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Yellow
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. Deluxe
|Nintendo
|
|}
====Game Boy Advance (GBA)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Chu Chu Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Classic NES Series: Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''e-Reader
|Nintendo
|Nintendo’s barcode reader peripheral for ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and other games.
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure Max Heart
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game Boy Advance Jukebox
|Gamester
|A GBA player for MP3 music files.
|-
|''Gumby Vs. the Astrobots
|Namco
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Kaznapped
|THQ
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Super Circuit
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Fusion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[My Little Pony]]: The Runaway Rainbow
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Emerald
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon FireRed
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon LeafGreen
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic]] Advance
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Pinball Party
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Mario Advance
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris Worlds
|THQ
|
|-
|''The Three Stooges
|Cinemaware
|
|-
|''Wario Land 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc. Mega Microgame$
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Twisted
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi Topsy-Turvy
|Nintendo
|
|}
====Game Boy Advance Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''All Grown Up! Volume 1
|Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Limited Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Platinum Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Premium Edition
|Cartoon Network
|Chris’s 100th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Special Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Volume 1
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''The Fairly Oddparents: Volume 1
|Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 1
| Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 2
| Nickelodeon
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Beach Blank-Out Blastoise
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: For Ho-Oh the Bells Toll!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: I Choose You!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Johto Photo Finish
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Sonic X Volume 1: A Super Sonic Hero!
|Sega
|
|}
====Nintendo GameCube (NGC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Amazing Island
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Animal Crossing]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg
|Sega
|
|-
|''BMX XXX
|Acclaim
|Probably bought for [[Mass debating]] purposes.
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the Gamecube
|-
|''Evolution Worlds
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''F-Zero GX
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Go! Go! Hypergrind
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Party
|Konami
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Master Quest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:MC Groovz Dance Craze|MC Groovz Dance Craze]]
|MadCatz
|
|-
|''Mario Party 5
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man Vs.
|Namco
|
|-
|''Pac-Man World 2
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Box: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Channel
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickle]]d Edition
|Warner Brothers
|
|-
|'''''[[Blake|Shadow the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Gems Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Heroes
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Activision
|
|-
|''Spyro: A Hero's Tail
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Star Fox Adventures
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron 2
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Squadron 3: Rebel Strike
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Super Mario Sunshine
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Melee
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race: Blue Storm
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gamecube Preview Disc
|Nintendo/Sega/Others
|
|}

====Nintendo DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''100 Classic Books
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Animal Crossing]] Wild World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Big Brain Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Slow in the minds|Brain Age]]
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 150th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cooking Mama
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Drill Dozer
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Love quest|Feel the Magic XY/XX]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Flipnote Studio]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart Danzen! DS
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
|THQ
|
|-
|''Jump Superstars
|Nintendo
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Kirby: Canvas Curse
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Magnetica
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Hoops 3-on-3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters First Hunt
|Nintendo
|A demo cartridge
|-
|''Metroid Prime Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs: Dachshund & Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Picross 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Diamond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pearl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trozei!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Polarium|Polarium]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Retro Atari Classics
|Atari
|
|-
|''The Rub Rabbits
|Sega
|
|-
|''Snood 2: On Vacation
|DSI
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sprung]]
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Star Fox Command
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sudoku Gridmaster
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64 DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Princess Peach
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''True Swing Golf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare D.I.Y.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Touched
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Nightmare Troubadour
|Konami
|
|}

====Wii====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing City Folk
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Battalion Wars 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario Online RX
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Elebits
|Konami
|
|-
|''Family Table Tennis
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Link's Crossbow Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Super Sluggers
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 3 Corruption
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''My Pokémon Ranch
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[White knights|NiGHTs]]: Journey of Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Revolution
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1
|SNK
|
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic and the Secret Rings
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Chaos
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] Legends
|Namco Bandai Games
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Get Even
|Square Enix
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Mario Galaxy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Brawl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land: Shake It!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Music
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Sports
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''World of Goo
|2D Boy
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|}

====TurboGrafx-16 Entertainment SuperSystem====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Bonk's Adventure''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Wii
|}
====Nintendo 3DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Mighty Milky Way<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>
|Wayforward
|
|-
|''Frogger 3d
|Konami
|Attempted to sell on [[ebay]]
|-

===Sega===
====Sega Master System====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Wonder Boy''
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|}
====Sega Genesis (Mega Drive)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Alien Soldier''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Bubsy in- Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Desert Strike
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Fantasia
|Sega
|
|-
|''Genesis 6-Pak
|Sega
|
|-
|''Kid Chameleon
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Klax (video game)|Klax]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Monopoly
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''Ms. Pac Man
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Rocket Knight Adventures
|Konami
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Spinball
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Sex toys|Toy Story]]
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''X-Men
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega Game Gear====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''The Chessmaster
|Sega
|
|-
|''Columns
|Sega
|
|-
|''Desert Speedtrap Starring Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote
|Sega
|
|-
|''Krusty’s Fun House
|Flying Edge
|
|-
|''Quest for the Shaven Yak Starring Ren & Stimpy
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Drift 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Chaos
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Columns
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega CD====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Batman Returns
|Sega
|
|-
|''Double Switch
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Ecco: The Tides of Time
|Sega
|
|-
|''Flashback: [[Liquid Chris|The Quest for Identity]]
|U.S. Gold
|
|-
|''Jaguar XJ220
|JVC
|
|-
|''Jurassic Park
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mad Dog McCree
|American Laser Games
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Rape|Night Trap]]
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Classics Arcade Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sewer Shark|Sewer Shark]]
|Sony Imagesoft
|
|-
|''Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|
|-
|''Star Wars: Rebel Assault
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Time Gal
|Renovation
|
|-
|''Tomcat Alley
|Sega
|
|-
|''Wirehead
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega 32X====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''B.C. Racers
|Front Street Publishing
|
|-
|''Cosmic Carnage
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Knuckles Chaotix
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[I AM STRONG|Toughman Contest]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Racing Deluxe
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Saturn====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Baku Baku
|Sega
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden URA
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fighters Megamix
|Sega
|
|-
|''NiGHTs into Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic R
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter Remix
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Dreamcast====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Bleem! *Gran Turismo 2*
|Bleem
|An emulation disc for the PlayStation ''GT2''
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Chu Chu]] Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Crazy Taxi
|Sega
|
|-
|''Evolution
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Evolution 2
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Jet Grind Radio
|Sega
|
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''The Next Tetris
|Crave
|
|-
|''Q*Bert
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[List_of_cards_from_The_Wall_of_Originals#Espanolic|Samba de Amigo]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Dreamcast Generator D.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack V.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Skies of Arcadia
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Shuffle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]]: [[CADD Chef|Chef's]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Luv Shack]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Magnetic Neo
|Crave
|
|-
|''Suzuki Alstare Extreme Racing
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Time Stalkers
|Sega
|
|-
|''Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation
|Eidos Interactive
|
|-
|''Virtual-On Oratorio Tangram
|Activision
|
|-
|''Wetrix +
|XICAT
|
|}

===Sony===
==== PlayStation (PSX, PSone)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''2Xtreme
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Activision Classics
|Activision
|
|-
|''Amazing Virtual Sea-Monkies, The
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''Arcade's Greatest Hits - The Midway Collection 2
|Midway
|
|-
|''Atari Anniversary Edition Redux
|Atari
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden
|Takara
|
|-
|'''''Beast Wars [[Transformers]]
|Hasbro
|
|-
|''Blaster Master: Blasting Again
|Crave
|
|-
|''Bowling
|A1 Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Chris and anger|Bloody Roar]]
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Bubsy 3D
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Casper: Friends Around the World
|Sound Source
|
|-
|''Castlevania Chronicles
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 4
|Sony
|
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Universal Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bash
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Danger Girl
|THQ
|
|-
|''Dead in the Water
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Defcon 5
|Data East
|
|-
|''Destruction Derby
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Ultimate Battle 22
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII
|Square Enix
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ford Racing
|Empire Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Frogger
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gundam Battle Assault 2
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Plush Breasts|Hooters:]] Road Trip
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|989 Studios
|A physical copy
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jumping Flash!
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''King of Fighters ‘99
|SNK
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Klonoa: Door to Phantomile
|Namco
|
|-
|''Lego Island 2: The Brickster's Revenge
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Loaded
|Interplay
|
|-
|''Medal of Honor
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medal of Honor Underground
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medievil
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mega Man Legends
|Capcom
|
|-
|'''''[[Metal Gear Solid]]
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Miracle Space Race
|Mud Duck
|
|-
|''Mobile Light Force
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mortal Kombat 4
|Midway
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''MTV Music Generator
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Need For Speed: High Stakes
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Need For Speed III: Hot Pursuit
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|[[Obesity|Pizza Hut]] Sampler Disc 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Pooh's]] Party Game: In Search of the Treasure
|Disney
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack 1
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Summer 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Winter 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''Porsche Challenge
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction
|Warner Brothers
|
|-
|''Puzzle Star Sweep
|A1 Games
|
|-
|''Rally Cross
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman 2: The Great Escape
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director's Cut
|Capcom
|A physical copy
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director’s Cut
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
|Capcom
|A demo disc
|-
|''R-Types
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''R-Type Delta
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''SimCity 2000
|Maxis
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Small Soldiers
|Electronic Arts
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''SnoCross Championship Racing
|Crave Entertainment
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Space Jam
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Spec Ops: Airborne Commando
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Covert Assault
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Ranger Elite
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Stealth Patrol
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Speed Racer
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Homo|Spice World]]
|Psygnosis
|
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Universal Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro: Year of the Dragon
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha 2
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Suikoden
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Superstar Dance Club: #1 Hits
|XS Games
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Syphon Filter 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ten Pin Alley
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Toy Story 2
|Sony PlayStation
|
|-
|''Twisted Metal 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Um Jammer Lammy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Vandal Hearts
|Konami
|
|-
|''V.I.P.
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense
|Activision
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
|Williams
|
|-
|''XS Junior League Soccer
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|}

====PlayStation 2 (PS2)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 105
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 106
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 107
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 108
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 109
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 110
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 111
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 112
|Sony
|
|-
|''Aeon Flux
|Majesco
|
|-
|''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] - Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
|Midway
|
|-
|''[[Britney Spears|Britney's]] Dance Beat
|THQ
|
|-
|''Crash Nitro Kart
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Crash [[Crystal Weston Chandler|Twinsanity]]
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
|Konami
|
|-
|''Dark Cloud
|Sony
|
|-
|''EyeToy Play
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''[[Family Guy]]
|2K/Fox
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 2
|-
|''Fatal Frame
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto 3
|Rockstar Games
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]].
|-
|'''''[[Guitar Hero]]
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero II
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Encore - Rocks The 80s
|Red Octane
|
|-
|''The Guy Game
|Gathering
|
|-
|''InuYasha: The Secret of the Cursed Mask
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Jak X: Combat Racing
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 10
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 11
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 14
|Sony
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Volume 3
|Konami
|
|-
|''Kingdom Hearts
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil
|Namco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marc Eckō's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure|Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo]]
|Bandai
|
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2
|Sony
|
|-
|PSUnderground Summer Sampler
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection Plus
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur III
|Bandai/Namco
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5: Special Edition
|Sega
|
|-
|''Taiko Drum Master
|Namco
|
|-
|''Tekken Tag Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''[[Transformers]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''Unreal Tournament
|Infogrames
|
|}

====PlayStation 3 (PS3)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''3D Dot Game Heroes
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Age of Booty
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the [[PlayStation Network]]
|-
|''Altered Beast
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ape Escape (Playstation Move)
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Aquatopia
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core 4
|Sega
|
|-
|''Astro Tripper
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Back to the Future: The Game
|Telltale
|Both the disc version and the downloadable version
|-
|''Band Hero
|Activision
|
|-
|''Battle Fantasia
|Aksys
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Beatles: Rock Band
|MTV Games
|
|-
|''Beat Sketcher <ref>[[:File:BeatSketcher20101012.png]]</ref>
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bejeweled 3
|Popcap
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bionic Commando (2009)
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Bionic Commando Rearmed
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bioshock
|2K Games
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blade Kitten
|Atari
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blast Factor
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $8 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blokus
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle
|Relentless Software
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bomberman Ultra
|Hudson Soft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Borderlands
|2K Games
|
|-
|''Braid
|Number None
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[Brutal Legend|Brütal Legend]]'''''
|Electronic Arts
|Chris's 50th physical acquisition for the PS3.
|-
|''BurgerTime World Tour
|MonkeyPaw Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burn Zombie Burn
|Pinnacle
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burnout Paradise
|Electronic Arts
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $67 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Monster Rally
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Robo Jam
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz TV
|Sony
|Approximately $31 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz World
|Sony
|
|-
|''Calling All Cars
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Catherine
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Championship Sprint
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
|Atari
|
|-
|''Comet Crash
|Pelfast
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Comix Zone
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Costume Quest
|THQ
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crash Commando
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crescent Pale Mist
|Rockin' Android
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Critter Crunch
|Capybara Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Cuboid
|TikGames, LLC
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Dark Sector
|D3 Publisher
|
|-
|''Dead Space
|Electronic Arts
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice
|NIS America
|Approximately $65 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Burst Limit
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Chandler cats|Droplitz]]
|Atlus
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
|Bethesda
|"Game of the Year Edition"
|-
|''Elefunk
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Enchanted Arms
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''[[The Eye of Judgement]]
|Sony
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Fairytale Fights
|Playlogic
|
|-
|''Fallout: New Vegas
|Bethesda
|
|-
|''Far Cry 2
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Obesity|Fat]] Princess
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''flOw
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Homo|Flower]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Folklore
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fret Nice
|Tecmo
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Frogger Returns
|Konami
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Giant Enemy Crab|Genji: Days of the Blade]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Go! Puzzle
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Go! Sports Ski
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sports Skydiving
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $12 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[God of War]] III
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto IV
|Rockstar Games
|
|-
|''Gravity Crash
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Green Day: Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|Interestingly enough, their frontman is a [[homo]].
|-
|''GripShift v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Gauntlet II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 5
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Aerosmith
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Hits
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Metallica
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Van Halen
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero World Tour
|Red Octane
|
|-
|''Gunstar Heroes
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hail to the Chimp
|Gamecock
|
|-
|''Hamilton's Great Adventure
|Fatshark
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Heavenly Sword
|Sony
|
|-
|''Heavy Rain
|Sony
|
|-
|''High Stakes: Poker Edition
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''High Velocity Bowling
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The House of the Dead III
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''inFamous
|Sony
|
|-
|''Invincible Tiger: The Legend of Han Tao
|Namco Bandai Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Jak and Daxter Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jeopardy!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Joust
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Killzone 2
|Sony
|Approximately $6 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lair
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Last Guy
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lego Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
|Funsta
|
|-
|''Lemmings
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''LIMBO
|Playdead
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Linger in Shadows
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|Approximately $98 spent on DLC.
|-
|''LocoRoco Cocoreccho!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mainichi Issho
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Ultimate Alliance
|Activision
|
|-
|''Mega [[JERKS|Man]] 9
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mega Man 10
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mesmerize
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Sonichu's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|'''''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Monster Madness: Grave Danger
|South Peak Interactive
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat (2009)
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Motorstorm
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Motorstorm RC
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mushroom Wars
|Creat Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Namco Museum Essentials
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Noby Noby Boy
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Novastrike
|Tiki Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Nucleus
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PAIN
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $41 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Racers
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Shooter
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Piyotama
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Q*Bert v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampage
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampart
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank Future: [[Fuck Quest|Quest for Booty]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rayman 3 HD
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Red Faction Guerrilla
|THQ
|
|-
|''Resident Evil 5
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Resistance: Fall of Man
|Sony
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 3
|-
|''Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Band 2
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Revolution
|Konami
|
|-
|''Saints Row 2
|THQ
|
|-
|''Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 1: The Penal Zone
|Telltale Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''SAW
|Konami
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars Tennis
|Sega
|
|-
|''The Simpsons Game
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Siren: Blood Curse
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Snakeball
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)
|Sega
|Approximately $7.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode 1
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Unleashed
|Sega
|Approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] IV
|Namco Bandai
|"Premium edition"; approximately $33.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''SoulCalibur V
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 3
|Activision
|"Collector’s edition"
|-
|''Stranglehold
|Midway
|"Collector’s edition"; approximately $15 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Stuntman Ignition
|THQ
|
|-
|''Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super [[Mass debating|Rub a Dub]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Stardust HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars
|Psyonix
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection
|Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Tekken Hybrid
|Namco
|
|-
|''Timeshift
|Sierra
|
|-
|''Toy Home
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $7 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
|Activision
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Trash Panic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
|Sony
|
|-
|''Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
|Sony
|
|-
|''UNO
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wheel of Fortune
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''WipEout HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolfenstein 3D
|Activision
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''X-Blades
|SouthPeak Interactive
|
|-
|''Zen Pinball
|Zen Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|}

====PlayStation Portable (PSP)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Ape Escape Academy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Escape ~ On the Loose
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Quest
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core: Formula Front - Extreme Battle
|Agetec
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury - Blazin' Trails
|Sony
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury Pro
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Beats
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Fuck quest|Brooktown High]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Bust-A-Move Deluxe
|Majesco
|
|-
|''BUZZ! Master Quiz
|Sony
|
|-
|''Carol Vorderman's Sudoku
|Secret Stash
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Darkstalkers Chronicle - The Chaos Tower
|Capcom
|Chris's 50th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|''Daxter
|Sony
|
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $5 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Every Extend Extra
|BVG
|
|-
|''EXIT
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Frogger: [[Slow-in-the-minds|Helmet Chaos]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gangs of London
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gangs Of London
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus Special Edition: Battle of Attica
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gripshift
|Red Mile
|
|-
|''Guilty Gear Judgement
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Gunpey
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''Gurumin - A Monstrous Adventure
|Mastiff Games
|
|-
|''[[Harvey Birdman Commercial|Harvey Birdman]] - Attorney At Law
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Hot Pixel
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Recycling|Infected]]
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Cwcville|Kingdom of Paradise]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Stars Wars II: The Original Trilogy
|Lego Media
|
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Locoroco
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines II
|BVG
|
|-
|''Mercury Meltdown
|Ignition
|
|-
|''Mind Quiz
| Ubisoft
|
|-
|''MLB 07: The Show
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam - Battle Royale
|Bandai Namco Games
|A Japanese import
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Autism|PQ Practical Intelligence Quotient]]
|D3
|
|-
|''Puzzle Challenge Crosswords and More
|Crave
|
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank: [[Duck|Size Matters]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sampler Disc for PSP Vol.1
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Clover and Snoopy|Snoopy]] Vs. the Red Baron
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''SOCOM U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals
|Sega
|Chris's 25th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals 2
|Sega
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Extreme
|Taito
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Combat Ops
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Tekken: Dark Resurrection
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''The Con
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Fridays After Five|Ultimate Block Party]]
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''WipEout Pure
|Sony
|
|-
|''WTF: Work Time Fun
|D3
|
|}

====Universal Media Disc (UMD) Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Ah! My Goddess the Movie
|Geneon
|
|-
|''Creature Comforts: The Complete First Season
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Family Guy]]: Freakin' Sweet Collection
|Fox
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fun with Dick and Jane
|Columbia
|
|-
|''Into the Blue
|MGM
|
|-
|''Lords Of Dogtown
|Columbia
|
|-
|''National Lampoon's Animal House
|Universal
|
|-
|''[[Some Favored Comedians|Saturday Night Live]] Collection - The Best of [[Obesity|Chris Farley]]
|Lions Gate
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]] ~ When Technology Attacks!
|Comedy Central
|
|-
|''Spider-Man New Animated Series The Mutant Menace
|Marvel
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 2 UMD Movie
|Columbia
|
|-
|''STEALTH
|Columbia
|
|-
|''[[Virgin with rage|Superbad]]: Unrated Extended Edition
|Columbia
|
|-
|''Wedding Crashers: Uncorked Edition
|New Line
|
|}

====PlayStation Vita (PSV)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Army Corps of Hell
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Dungeon Hunter: Alliance
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Escape Plan
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hustle Kings
|Sony
|
|-
|''Little Deviants
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines Electronic Symphony
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]] [[Ohio trip|Roadtrip]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''MotorStorm: RC
|Sony
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Plants vs. Zombies
|Popcap
|
|-
|''Rayman Origins
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Reality Fighters
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ridge Racer
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Sumioni: Demon Arts
|AQUIRE
|
|-
|''Super Stardust Delta
|Sony
|
|-
|''Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
|Drinkbox Studios
|
|-
|''Touch My Katamari
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Uncharted: Golden Abyss
|Sony
|
|-
|''Unit 13
|Sony
|
|-
|''Welcome Park
|Sony
|A tutorial game that comes with the Vita
|-
|''WipEout 2048
|Sony
|
|}

===Microsoft===
Despite Chris's avowed hatred of da [[HEXBox]] 360, he tried to sell several games for the original Xbox on [[eBay]], making it possible that he owned one.<ref>[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]</ref>
====Xbox====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']]
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]''
|Vivendi Games
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]''
|Gotham Games
|
|}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's Blu-ray discs]]
*[[Miyamoto Saga]]
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''
*''[[Sonichu Advance]]''
*''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''
*[[Video games]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv The Excel file]
*[http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2 Purchases from May 7th onward]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Mailbag 5

2013-12-23T20:50:45Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* That wacky Hitler */

Uploaded on 26 [[November 2009]], '''Mailbag 5''' is the fifth collection of fan mail to be posted on [[CWCipedia]]. These were scheduled to be answered on November 27th, and were answered on November 28th.

While many of [[Chris]]'s replies are longer than in previous mailbags, they are also more aggressive. There are many instances in which he takes on an insulting, superior tone, as though he can't believe what he has to put up with here. Another notable departure is Chris's complete lack of censorship in this mailbag. All the letters originally posted are answered, regardless of how little Chris likes them.

In his replies Chris likens the mentally handicapped to zombies, thinks "benevolent" is an insult, says he doesn't really give a shit about politics despite being Mayor of [[CWCville]], states that he has an aversion to typing the word "swastika", and thinks [[homos|homosexuality]] is also caused by drinking during pregnancy. Also, he reiterates his idea that ASPERGER'S IS NOTHING LIKE [[Autism|AUTISM]] WHATSOEVER GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN DIRTY STUPID IMMATURE SKULLS

==Answered==
===Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:List of Kanto Gym Leaders#Lt. Surge|Lietenant Surge]] <lt_surge_1776@fsmail.net>
Dear Chris,

I've been a long-time fan of your series, it's one of the few comics I'll allow my children to read as it promotes straight Christian values.

I'm becoming concerned at how you portray your fictional town Cwcville, however. It doesn't seem to promote the values of the United States of America, and, one patriot to another, I'd like to address some of these issues and have you reply
personally, schedule permitted.

Cwcville at times seems like a communist dictatorship. There doesn't seem to be much free enterprise in the town, and you might want to think about showing some of the characters setting up their own business and becoming entrepreneurs. As a businessman yourself, I am sure you can appreciate wanting to teach the kids about the American dream.

The next issue is that there does not seem to be any functioning democracy in Cwcville or any elected representatives of the people. Only one benevolent Mayor, who although may have good intentions, rules in absolution and runs in elections seemingly unopposed. Maybe it would be good if Cwcville had a House of Representatives, or just more candidates in the election?

Again, I appreciate your crusade to promote straightness, but in order to be a true lightening American like myself, you must also promote free enterprise and democracy at all costs.

I named my e-mail address after my favourite pokemon character, my real name is Chris too ;)

- Chris Palmer, Chicago.}}
{{EmailReply|On the contrary, all rights in Cwcville are Free; the citizens within it have every right just like in these United States. I do not care much that you refer to me as "benevolent"; it sounds derogatory. Plus we do have a House of Representatives; they meet in the Cwcville Trade Center Building and relay all decisions and discussions to my office at the Mall, where I offer my input, and accept theirs, and sign the documents to agree or disagree accordingly. Free Enterprise and all that is encouraged highly. And F.Y.I., I am a Moderate; in the MIDDLE between Democrats and Republicans. Have a good day. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:16, 29 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Role Reversal===
{{Email|From: Alice R <autumnpaper@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris!

I love [[sonichu]] so much. I want to be just like Rosechu and am trying very hard to meet a girlfriend free boy JUST like Sonichu. I do everything [[Rosechu]] does. I shop and shop and shop and I have girl talk with all the girls I know (mostly about shopping and boys) and I've even followed your advice and sat in the mall with a sign saying how i need a girlfriend free boy, but none of it has worked and I'm still a lonesome virgin. How can I be more like Rosechu to get the attention of a girlfriend free boy? what am i doing wrong? please tell me, chris!}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, Rosechu never use the sign; ONLY I did that, and I had stopped doing that Years ago, because it gave off an impression that I was Retarded. JUST go up to the boys and men and TALK to them, and feel free to ask one out if he does not ask first. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:16, 29 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay===
[[Image:Daniel-portrait-black.jpg|thumb|Daniel Tammet: Super-Genius.]]
{{Email|From: Jesse Barmby <barmby.barmby@uleth.ca>
Hello Mr. Chandler,

I realize that you have a HUGE fan base, and you are also a very busy man, so I understand that you don't have time to answer all your fan mail. However, I would really appretiate it if I could get some responses from you!

As you know, high-functioning autistic people are usually incredibly smart or talented. You are an example of such a person. Not only are you an incredibly talented artist, but the stories and characters in your comics are extrememly interesting, origional and creative. A non-autistic person would not be able to create such amazing work!

Perhaps you've also heard of Daniel Tammet, a high-functioning autistic man who some people consider to be the smartest man in the world. According to his [[Wikipedia:Daniel Tammet|wikipedia biography]], he was able to memorize the number pi to 22,514 digits, and can fluently speak 12 languages, can learn whole languages in only a week, and even invented his own language! However, even though he is such an amazing person, I read on his wikipedia biography that he is homo, so I hate him and I hope he dies because I hate homos.

I really hope to have an autistic child one day, as smart and talented as you or David Tammet. If it is a boy, I will name him Christian, and if it is a girl, I will name her Crystal.

I do not know much about autism though. Will I increase my chances of having an autistic child if I make my wife drink alcohol while she is pregnant, or punch her in her pregnant belly? Or when the baby is born, should I beat it or terrorize it to make it autistic? My wife is willing to do anything to have an autistic baby, and she already gave me permission to punch her if it means our child will be autistic. I just hope it's not a homo like David Tammet!

Sorry for the long email. Like I said, I know you're busy.

Thanks,

Ricky}}
{{EmailReply|I would not hate the guy for just the ONE reason; I liked Stephen Fry's vocal work on [[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBiGPlanet]], but I do not hold his lifestyle against him; he did his work and did a good job. Also, [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|hoping someone dies for ONLY that one reason]] is just stupid.

I appreciate your wanting to name your child after me, but FOR GOD's Sake, rasing a child with Autism is a LOT OF HARD WORK, a LOT harder than raising a Normal Child. Although, you may look up Autism on [[Wikipedia]] to see the mental problems of the child to further prove the point. Also, For God's Sake, NEVER EVER let your wife drink, smoke or be physically abused or hurt while she is pregnant. IF ANYTHING, such actions CAN PROVOKE homosexuality in the child.

GOD! W.T.F. is going on in that head of yours?!

I'm sorry for that outburst, but you needed the wake-up call in my humble opinion. May god bless you with a straight, normal, intelligent child. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:16, 29 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Is Magi-Chan incontinent?===
{{Email|From: Lesley Chatteneuse <vampire.nightshawks@gmail.com>
What is the mysterious brown puddle that appears when [[Magi-Chan]] travels back in time in Sonichu 7? Is it fecal incontinence? Does Magi-Chan use diapers or liners?}}
{{EmailReply|W.T.F. are you talking about? That is his SHADOW.}}

===Art advice and gay rights===
{{Email|From: Natalie T <nattycutie412@yahoo.com>
hi chris! my name is natalie and i'm 13 years old, i've just recenetly found out about your totally awesome comic and i'm in love! lol i totally love the characters the story is so cool. anyways, i have a few questions to ask you! if you don't mind lol. 1) when did you first found you had talent for drawing? i love to draw but i suck! i know people say if you keep practicing you'll get better but idk, it doesn't seem to be getting better even though i draw like EVERYDAY. 2) how did you get your art to improve over the years? any tips and tricks you can lend a fellow artist?lol. anyways, thanks so much for your time chrissy! (is it okay if i call you that? lol!) bye bye for now. :)

p.s. i almost forgot! i was on cwcipedia reading the comic (aagain! lol) and i noticed pictures supporting gay rights! as a christian girl who believes strongly in the Lord and Jesus Christ i have to say i'm a little sad. i don't want my parents to see that and then ban from reading sonichu! i thought you were just like me chris, and you didn't like homosexuality. please do something!}}
{{EmailReply|I have learned it from after taking numerous art classes in my lifetime. Just practice.

Those ads were put there, WITHOUT MY APPROVAL, by the individual who paid to place ads on here. I personally DO NOT care for THAT AD either.}}

===Admission of ignorance===
{{Email|From: Jamie Kent <jamiekent22@yahoo.com>
How ya doing, Chris? I had a couple of questions for you.

 1. What is your opinion on the two World Wars?
 2. What are politics like in CWCville?
 3. What is your opinion on United States politics?
 4. Who did you support in last year's presidential election?
 5. What did you think of Proposition 8 in California?

Thanks for reading,

Jamie}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know much about politics, so can't answer most of those questions. And after watching BOTH A&E Biographies on the two candidates, I saw more of myself, as a strong, outcast-like individual, trying to find his place and all that in life and all that, in [[Obama]]. THIS was about TWO WEEKS after I drew that controversial page against him, and after watching the Biography, I respectfully removed the page from the 17th Episode.}}

===That wacky Hitler===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:General_Von_Klinkerhoffen|Erich Von Klinkerhoffen]] <erich_von_klinkerhoffen@hotmail.com>
Gutendag, herr Chandler! (That's German for good day, mister Chandler)

My name is Erich von Klinkerhoffen and I'm proud to be e-mailing you from Germany! I'm very fond of your artwork, it has a very European quality to it. (I don't know if you understand what I mean, since English isn't my native tongue). Anyway, I was wondering, since you are a huge fan of the [[Family Guy]], if you would like to honour Germany to include a parody of Hitler. He has appeared on Family Guy several times now, and it's always been hilarious. Maybe you could include him in one of your very funny jokes? You might not know this, but Hitler was an artist as well, before he became president of Germany! Maybe one day you could also become president. Not of a country but of the Sonichu company! :)

Anyway, many greetings from Deutschland and I hope to get a reply soon through your bag of mail!

Erich von Klinkerhoffen}}
{{EmailReply|Like Most People, I do not care much for Adolf; he was a terrible man, and even in jest, I WOULD NEVER want to portray him, much less, his four-boomerang-shaped symbol (I know what it is called, but [[Chris and English|I do not wish to type the word]]).}}

===In which Chris assumes Clyde Cash would punch him===
{{Email|From: jakk <jakkbear@gmail.com>
i would like to thank u for the blessign and quick reply very nice

i want 2 ask a few questions:

1. what is ur favrite part about sonichu

2. can i use sonichu in my super zelda bros comix??

3. if u met clyd cash IRL what would u do??}}
{{EmailReply|I would say the parts where I communicate with him; similar to a father-and-son conversation. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would maintain a pleasant conversation, with hopes of it not turning into an abusive conflict; I would not hit back unless he hit me first.}}

===Chris ''still'' won't admit he's wrong about Asperger's syndrome===
{{Email|From: Da Guyman <tissdaseason428@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler

Hi, big fan of Sonichu. I can't wait to see what will happen next. But my question is about a slightly different matter. You claim that you are offended by the fact that [[Asperger Syndrome]] is a form of autism. Why exactly? Are you sure you're not confusing it with Alzheimer's disease? And according to your response to a previous question on what you said about "Asperger's being nothing like autism" and to look it up on Wikipedia, yet it says there plain as day on the Asperger Syndrome article that it's considered an "autistic spectrum disorder". But either way it's nothing to really be too ashamed of. You do know that Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri has Asperger's right? Cheers. Hope to see the next comic soon.

-Jaker397}}
{{EmailReply|I am not confusing it with alzheimers; ASPERGERS IS '''NOTHING''' LIKE ''AUTISM'' WHATSOEVER.}}

===Chris hates the HexBawks===
{{Email|From: Adam Gavia <joker_of_the_sky@yahoo.com>
Hi! I've been a long-time fan, and I absolutely love your comics. I'm extreme happy about you updating your comics on a daily basis now, and I hope they keep on coming for awhile.

Anyways, I've been wondering, why do you hate the [[Xbox]]? I'm a huge Sonichu fan, and I know you dislike it, but why not allow the Sonichu games on it? I was heartbroken when you decided to make Sonichu and Rosechu multiplat for [[PS3]], PS2,
and Wii.

I hope you eventually change your view on the Xbox, as it is a great platform with great games.

Your biggest fan,
Amy}}
{{EmailReply|I never cared for the [[HEXBox]], and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the Wii and PS3, PLUS YOU HAVE TO '''PAY''' THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT. The Wii and Playstation Networks are FREE, ONLY costing you if you BUY the Downloadable Games. When Microsoft FINALLY get that costly detail LONG-GONE, I MAY reconsider. But in the meantime, I rest my case.}}

===In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped===
{{Email|From: mr.suchi suchisuchi <suchisuchisuchi12@gmail.com>
why does everybody hate you so much? why are you hated by everyone, ha? i don't get it. what do you think?
it's interesting to me because in my country if someone has a severe case of autism we take care of him and put him in a special place for people who are retarded.
would you like to go to a special place for autistics and retards?
i think its the right thing to do. you will be safe there and maybe meet a nice lady to have sex with (although everyone says you don't like women but only men...but i don't know and i won't judge...).

anyway.
i'm here for support in this hour of darkness for you.
you are very talented for a retarded person!!!
good for you!!!
do you go to the bathroom all by yourself?
i bet you do!!! talented!!!
waiting to hear your thoughts about life in general and how you might improve them.

your friend
mr suchi
from israel}}
{{EmailReply|Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of Sonichu first, or that I am more Artistically Talented than they are. I DO NOT CARE to go to such "Special Places", especially if they have [[Slow-in-the-minds|physically deformed individuals]] who can not say any legible words beyond "Uhhhhh..."; they are as creepy as zombies.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Rob Bell

2013-12-11T23:01:08Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* The Trial */

{{stub}}

'''[[Wikipedia:Rob_Bell_(Virginia_politician)|Rob Bell]]''' is a member of the Virginia House of Delegates. He served as [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] defense attorney, hired after the events of [[28 October 2011]]. According to a leaked [[28_October_2011#Email.3F|email]], Chris was introduced to Bell by [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his church.]]

==Background==

Bell was hired by Chris to represent him in the aftermath of the October 28 incident. Chris went into trial with the full expectation that his name would be cleared and that he would win glorious victory over his arch-nemesis, [[Michael Snyder]]:

{{quote|Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".}}

==The Trial==

Against Chris's worse judgment, Bell likely encouraged Chris to take a plea deal, and in [[July 2012]], Chris and Barb were each handed a fine and a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspended_sentence suspended sentence] of thirty days in jail. As part of the deal, both were responsible for Snyder's medical bills following the incident. According to eyewitness accounts, Bell allegedly referred to Chris as an "adult [[autistic]] child" in the course of the proceedings: while Chris took umbrage at this remark, it was probably the sole factor that granted him leniency in sentencing.

Despite getting Chris scot-free in a professional and effective manner, Chris harbors a grudge against Bell for failing to stand up to Snyder in court, apparently failing to realize that even the best lawyer can't convince a jury you are innocent if your guilt is clear enough. In a rambling series of [[Facebook]] posts posted September 2, [[2013]], Chris blamed Rob Bell (as well as [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]) for his latest ban from [[Wal-Mart]], calling him a "major wuss" for failing to work [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|black magic]] that would convince a jury Chris was fully in the clear for nearly running over a manager who rightfully banned an obnoxious manchild from his business.

{{quote|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that [[Michael Snyder|God Damned Manajerk]]!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 2, 2013}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bell, Rob}}
[[Category:People]]

2013

2013-12-11T22:54:49Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* December */

[[File:Facebook1.jpg|thumb|In '''2013''', Chris mourned his expulsion from [[The GAMe PLACe|Heaven]].]]
'''2013''' is the fifth year of organized trolling since Chris's discovery. However, like the [[2011|two]] [[2012|years]] before it, it began with nothing of note, ever since Chris began [[This is how the Trial went|serving out his sentence.]] For a while, it remained to be seen if this ordeal (which ended in July) would finally knock some sense into him, though judging from [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|past experiences]], it seemed pretty unlikely. And...

However, this year is still notable as being the year where Chris' ego would cause him to become alienated with the few people he has left as "friends" (namely, Anna and the congregation of his church). It even caused him to get chastised for his attention-whoring by a well-known voice actress from [[My Little Pony]] in April. Even the Wal-Mart store he frequents has had enough of him - an act of blatant vandalism by Chris caused him to be thrown out and banned from the store. With the death of Bob a couple of years ago and his once-enablers getting tired of his antics, Chris is headed down a road that many have tried and failed to warn him about - one where the number of people willing to tolerate him are getting fewer and fewer.

In May, an [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur account] of all of the Facebook posts made by Chris between 2012 and 2013 was revealed by Chris, shedding some light on what happened during Chris's radio silence since [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life_and_poor_health|the death of his father earlier in 2011]].

In August, Chris indicated that his health has taken a turn for the worse, which, when compounded with the other problems explained above, all point to one thing - The consequences of his actions [[Exercise|(or lack thereof)]] are finally beginning to catch up to him.

In early November, Chris uploaded his first YouTube video since 2011.

==January==
[[File:Mcdonalds.jpg|thumb|January sighting]]
*11 January 2013 - Chris changes his [[Facebook]] [[:File:Facebook1.jpg|picture]] [[:File:Facebook2.jpg|twice]] in one day.
*29 January 2013- Chris is spotted at local McDonald's.

==February==
*24 February 2013 - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 31]]

==March==
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in March]]
*8 March 2013 - A photo of Chris in his tomgirl attire is featured on the fourth episode of [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|MTV's ''Failosophy'']].
*9 March 2013 - Chris goes to [http://madicon.org/ Madicon] held this year in Harrisonburg, VA. He's spotted by one of trolls, however no pictures are taken. On Facebook, he [[Facebook#Sonichu is not dead|insists]] that the ''Sonichu'' comic is not dead, despite two years without updates. He also [[:File:Failosophy.PNG|discovers]] that he was on MTV the previous day.
*28 March 2013 - Chris posts a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations.
*30 March 2013 - An [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|epistle]] from Chris to his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] is leaked on the CWCki forums. In the document Chris announces that he will be no longer going to church for a period of time. Details about the deterioration of Chris's relationships with his fellow parishioners and church staff are also revealed.

==April==
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Chris in April 2013.]]
*4 April 2013 - Chris posts a [[Facebook#Game Place|a new Facebook note]], in which he says he has no more interest in the [[The GAMe PLACe]].
*20 April 2013 - Chris uploads two new Facebook pictures. One of them depicts him holding a sign that reads "Haters to the Left," and points to the viewer's right in typical Chris fashion, while the other one shows him holding a different sign that declares him "[his] own free [[Homos|bitch]]."
*29 April 2013 - Chris posts two Facebook notes. In the [[Facebook#Sega Mascot Contest |first one]] he expresses his outrage at the news of Sega planning to replace [[Sonic]] as their mascot, not realizing that the news story he is responding to is a fictional one posted on a parody website. In the [[Facebook#"The Trolls Who Cry Woman"|second note]] he bemoans of how he has been trolled in the past by people pretending to be women.

==May==
[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|thumb|Chris in May 2013.]]
*4 May 2013- Somebody named [[Anna|"mormonjesus"]] drops in IRC what seems to be [[Emails#2013|email]] Chris sent to [[Kim]] on 1 May.
*6 May 2013 - More [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?y1pp1lop9wx6hdv emails between Chris and Jackie] are leaked on the CWCki forums.
*19 May 2013 - The [[Maggie Thomas call]] which was made in [[September 2009]] was leaked by whispsonichu on the [[CWCki Forums]].
*21 May 2013 - Chris posts up pictures of his iPhone and his broken iPod on his Facebook account, complete with a custom made duct-tape folder for them.
*21 May 2013 - Chris unveils his latest creation, the [[Idea Book Case|iDea Book Case]], via Facebook.
*26 May 2013 - [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ An Imgur account] of Chris's formerly hidden Facebook status updates is revealed....by Chris himself.
*29 May 2013 - Chris changes his Facebook profile picture to one featuring the return of the [[Parappa the Rapper|Parappa]] hat.
*30 May 2013 - Chris makes a new Facebook post, laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]].
*31 May 2013 - The Nintendo-run website [[Flipnote Hatena]] shuts down. All flipnotes, including Chris's are no longer able to be shown. A troll let this site know a couple months earlier in order to save Chris's [[art]].

==June==
*6 June 2013 - Chris starts playing Toro's Friend Network and the game is linked to Facebook.
*7 June 2013 - Chris has made 20 friends in Toro's Friend Network according to his Facebook post. [http://i.imgur.com/EARZYtF.png (Link)]
*9 June 2013 -[[Anna]] posted on Facebook to Chris that she re-watched his [[DVD of Fail|DVD]] with her married friend. [http://i.imgur.com/lgxayJp.png (Link)]
*9 June 2013 - An [[Jackie E-mails 31|e-mail from Chris to Jackie]] on 7 [[September 2011]] was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], where Chris talked about his dream that according to the Grim Reaper, his [[Bob Chandler|father]]'s soul would not be claimed until the year 2015.
*11 June 2013 - Chris has made 30 friends in Toro's Friend Network according to his Facebook post. [http://i.imgur.com/1iFbV78.png (Link)]
*12 June 2013 - Chris has made 50 friends in Toro's Friend Network according to his Facebook post. [http://i.imgur.com/LAKqMX0.png (Link)] He is also earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. [http://i.imgur.com/tTcpJFF.png (Link)]
*13 June 2013 - Chris liked two videos: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Oa8Nd6H0pU "I Heard the Dog Bark" by Sesame Street] and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlinLHR2yl4 My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2] on [[YouTube]] despite he once made a [[Facebook#THEY_ARE_NOT_SERIOUS.21.21.21|Facebook post raging about the Equestria Girls movie a few days ago]]. [http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png (Link)] On the same day, [[Anna]] posts to her friends, including Chris to all go to Disneyland together. [http://i.imgur.com/5AQNS4V.png (Link)]
*16 June 2013 - A picture of [[Son-Chu]] which is photographed on Google Street View in [[June 2011]] is leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
*17 June 2013 - Chris posts another Facebook post that [[Facebook#I_am_feeling_very_lonely_again|he is lonely again.]]
*20 June 2013 - A video of [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] on 8 June 2013 is leaked on the CWCki Forums.
*20 and 21 June 2013 - Hidden [[Twitter]] posts from 16 [[April 2012]] to 21 June 2013, which most of them are linked to the Facebook [[2013 Imgur Leak]] and pictures from 20 June 2013 are leaked on the CWCki Forums.
*22 June 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Too_many_Trolls_and_Bad_People_in_the_world|Facebook]] that "there are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly".
*24 June 2013 - Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran|Anna]], posts to Chris on Facebook that she is sending him good energy. [http://i.imgur.com/LAZA08q.png (Link)]
*27 June 2013 - Chris makes a [[Facebook#A_skunk|Facebook]] post about a skunk.
*29 June 2013 - Chris complains to [[Cole Smithey]] on Twitter.

==July==
[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg|thumb|Chris in July 2013.]]
*7 July 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Ruckersville|Facebook]] about [[Ruckersville]]. On the same day, Chris liked the full movie of Equestria Girls on YouTube.
*10 July 2013 - Chris's year-long probation, [[28 October 2011|passed down by the court]], ended.
*14 July 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Very_Depressed.|Facebook]] that he is depressed and needs real compassion from women.
*18 July 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Don.27t_call_me_a_wet_blanket.|Facebook]] that he doesn't want people to call him a wet blanket.
*20 July 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Spring_Brakers|Facebook]] about ''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Breakers]]'', bizarrely comparing it to [[My Little Pony]] and his life.
*22 July 2013 - Chris uploads a picture on [[Facebook#Stupid_Question.|Facebook]] and asks how good looking/attractive he is. He claims that he now weighs 220 pounds. On the same day, Chris shares a "Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)" video. On the same day, Chris uploads a screenshot from the [[CWCki Forums]] on [[Facebook#The_results|Facebook]] about the results of the poll.
*24 July 2013 - Chris shared a Crackle page on Facebook. On the same day, Mary McLerran posts on [[Facebook#I.27m_sending_you_love.2C_too|Facebook]] that she loves the hand shape on Chris's profile picture.

==August==
[[File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|thumb|Chris in August 2013.]]
*3 August 2013 - William Elliott Waterman posts to Chris on [[Facebook#You.27re_a_real_nice_guy.2C_Chris|Facebook]].
*5 August 2013 - Chris posts some photos of his high school [[LEGO]] set on [[Facebook#LEGO_High_School|Facebook]].
*6 August 2013 - Chris shared some links of LEGO Heartlake High on [[Facebook#Heartlake_High|Facebook]]. On the same day, Chris posted on [[Facebook#One_of_my_pups_just_peed|Facebook]] that one of his [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed.
*7 August 2013 - Chris liked some videos of [[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]], posted some posts related to the movie, and put it #2 of his Top Movies list. On the same day, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends posts a message to the DANG, DIRTY trolls on the CWCki on [[Facebook#William_Elliott_Waterman.27s_FUTURE_MESSAGE|Facebook]].
*9 August 2013 - Chris uploaded a photo of [[Manchester_High_School#Go_Lancers.21|"The Lancers"]] on Facebook, which is Chris's high school sports team.
*15 August 2013 - Chris uploaded photos of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]], Lemon Pound Cake, and a logo of "University of Delaware <nowiki>Fightin'</nowiki> Blue Hens" on Twitter and Facebook.
*16 August 2013 - More random pictures were posted by Chris.
*17 August 2013 - Chris posts an absurd riddle on [[Twitter#17_August_2013|Twitter]] and [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]], which explains the random pictures he posted.
*18 August 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] about his new shoes.
*19 August 2013 - Chris deleted the absurd riddle. On the same day, one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted to him on [[Facebook#Do_you_feel_like_your_winning_today.3F.21.3F|Facebook]]. Chris also posted a picture of his eyebrow on [[Facebook#One_Eyebrow|Facebook]].
*21 August 2013 - Another one of Chris's new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted to him on [[Facebook#Fantastic_Gift_In_The_Mail_Today|Facebook]].
*22 August 2013 - One of Chris's new friends posted to Chris again on [[Facebook#Got_your_tunes.21|Facebook]].
*23 August 2013 - Chris posted on [[Facebook#Breast_Cancer_Awareness|Facebook]] about [[Breast Cancer Awareness]], and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a survivor of breast cancer. On the same day, Chris posted a [[Facebook#Snoopy_Doobie_Doo|photo on Facebook]] involving his mother and Snoopy.
*27 August 2013 - Chris posted on [[Facebook#Losing Friends|Facebook]] about suffering from stress due to various reasons. On the same day, he updates his Facebook photo.

==September==
[[File:Back of Chris Chan 9-22-13.jpg|thumb|220px|Field agent observation, September 2013]]
*1 September 2013 - Chris posts on [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Ten_A_Piece_For_Rainbow_Dash_And_Applejack|Facebook]] about his favourite ponies in [[My Little Pony]].
*2 September 2013 - Chris posts on [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline_Troll.2FBully|Facebook]] cursing a [[Manajerk]], Rob Bell, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Megan Schroeder]]. Shorty after he [[CWCki Forums#September 2 FB update; New Troll to "Welcome"|informs the CWCki forums]] about this note. On the same day, Chris likes the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dQx6DenaXc Equestria Girls - Official Live Action Music Video (The Magic of Friendship)] on YouTube.
*3 September 2013 - Chris whines to one of his friends on [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#14.2C386.2C443_out_of_a_possible_10|Facebook]] about his [[stress]], [[trolls]] and more, claiming that his blood pressure went up because of them.
*4 September 2013 - Chris posts a 1-star review of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] on [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#The_Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School_Review|Facebook]], claiming that "The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life".
*5 September 2013 - Chris's court information about the [[28 October 2011]] incident is updated. It seemed that Chris had been sentenced to 30 days confinement last year but the sentence was suspended and Chris paid a $247 fine instead.
*6 September 2013 - The second anniversary of [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] death from heart failure. Chris also shared a link about autistic interactions on [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Six_Rules_Regarding_Autistic_Interactions|Facebook]] and mentions his [[Autism Tutorial]] videos.On the same day, Chris makes a post on [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|Facebook]] about how he has now been banned from Wal-Mart for vandalizing an XBox Live sign with a permanent marker.
*7 September 2013 - Chris makes a [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#God_Trolls_Chris_Yet_Again|Facebook post]] about how God made him scratch a woman's car in a parking lot. On the same day, some pictures of [[14 Branchland Court]] are leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
*8 September 2013 - Chris whines on a [[YouTube]] video [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J73NWDTvohI "Equestria Girls (Helping Twilight Win the Crown)" - MLP: Equestria Girls <nowiki>[My Little Rock Band]</nowiki>] that the PS3 versions of the song should be made.
*10 September 2013 - Chris shared a link to a ridiculous [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#Brassieres_For_Males|Facebook]] page "Brassieres For Males", supporting [[JERKS|males]] to wear sports bras.
*11 September 2013 - Chris shared a [[September 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] link to the movie "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close", claiming that ''It is a touching and good movie to watch today.''
*17 September 2013 - Chris posts on [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts#Fans_are_Weird.2C_Part_1|Facebook]] that he has found a [[Sonic]] Underground DVD from either a troll or a fan which had been resting there for some time, as it was covered in rain water. He tells people that if they want to send him something, to put it in the newspaper box or have it shipped to his doorstep. He includes some visual aids and screencaps from ''[[Excel Saga]]''.
*18 September 2013 - Chris tries to see the "kre-o micro changers Series 1, 12 piece set complete" collection on [[eBay]] for $65.
*22 September 2013 - PCA, a [[CWCki Forums]] user, meets Chris in [[McDonald's]] in Charlottesville and provides two snapshots of him as a proof.
*24 September - Chris [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...|posts a rant]] against [[Megan Schroeder]] on Facebook, revealing that he uses a Lego minifig of her as some sort of voodoo doll.
*27 September - Chris writes a new [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris-Chan explains it all|Facebook post]] meant to correct what he sees as commonly held misconceptions about his past relationship with Megan.

==October==
[[File:Cwc1013.png|thumb|right|Chris in a October 2013 video (a few weeks later, he would post this on youtube)]]
*1 October 2013 - [[Barbara]]'s 72nd birthday.
*3 October 2013 - Chris posts [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|an angry Facebook rant]] directed at [[Megan]].
*4 October 2013 - Also blames Megan for the trolling and the [[Cwcki]].
*11 October 2013 - Chris posts a Facebook status debunking an impostor's claim that Chris was mugged during a short trip to the Philippines.
*25 October 2013 - Chris films [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]].
*28 October 2013 - Chris made a [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Another_Announcement|Facebook post]] to leave him alone.
*30 October 2013 - Chris revealed in a Facebook post that he has finally realized, after corresponding with them, that his [[high school]] [[gal-pals]] didn't really like him and were just playing [[Kick the Autistic|Pity the Autistic]].
*31 October 2013 - [[Halloween]]. Chris asks his former gal-pals to come to 14 Branchland Court and apologize.

==November==
[[File:Cwc1113.jpg|thumb|CWC in November]]
*4 November 2013 -Chris posts to [[November 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] again asking the world to ignore his porn. That same day,Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning ShecameforCWC.jpg. It would seem as if Chris is finally accepting responsibility for his actions, but then he unintentionally back-pedals by forgiving Megan, Michael Snyder, and Mary Lee Walsh for what they did to him.
*5 November 2013 - Chris posts [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]] on [[Youtube]], the first video since 2011.
*6 November 2013 - Chris posts on [[November_2013_Facebook_Posts#Wanting_LEGO.27s_Attention|Facebook]] that he wants LEGO's attention. It is also revealed that his video is part of another [[Chris and contests|contest]].
*12 November 2013 - Chris posts another apology on [[November_2013_Facebook_Posts#.22I.27m_Sorry.2C_SO_LEAVE_ME_ALONE.21.22|Facebook]].
*15 November 2013 - Release of the life upgrade, upgraded: the [[Sony|PS4]]. It is unknown whether Chris has bought it yet.
*19 November 2013 - Chris uploads pictures of his heart, crushed by [[Sarah Bevel]] and his other false and dishonest [[gal-pals]], along with a sort of poem on [[November_2013_Facebook_Posts#Hurt.2C_Lonely_and_Depressed_For_The_nth_Time|Facebook]].
*25 November - Chris posts 3DS friend codes for himself and, apparently, his mother, seeking connections with other [[Pokémon]] players.
*26 November - Chris apologizes to [[Megan]]. Again. He also mopes some more about his online reputation.
*28 November - Chris posts a Thanksgiving message.
*30 November - Chris angrily denies that he and his mother had Thanksgiving dinner at a soup hotel.

==December==
* 5 December 2013 - Chris posts another [[Facebook]][[December 2013 Facebook posts|status]] about being alone
* 11 December 2013 - [[Alec Benson Leary]] leaks the [[Tour of Chris's House II]] video
*25 December 2013 - [[Christmas]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

October 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-26T21:24:06Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Reality Comes Knocking */

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted on October 2013.

==Summary==
* 3 [[October 2013]] - Chris posts an angry rant directed at [[Megan]].
* 4 October 2013 - Chris tells Megan to apologize to him personally, work and getting him unbanned from various commercial venues in his area and stop all internet trolling against him, or else he wouldn't remove the curse he has placed on her. Shortly afterwards on the same day he wrote another post, purportedly revealing the conversation between Megan, other Game Place patrons and store employees which led to the organized trolling campaign directed at Chris.
* 28 October 2013 - Chris made a post on Facebook to leave him alone again.
* 30 October 2013 - Chris undergoes perhaps his biggest Facebook meltdown yet, after he posts an e-mail from one of his high school [[gal pal]]s that someone forwarded to him. The e-mail reveals that none of his gal pals especially liked him as a person and only hung around with him out of pity, and that between his bizarre Facebook rants and [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], almost none of his high school "friends" have any desire to ever contact him again. In a subsequent post on the same day, Chris says that he was so crushed by this revelation that he considered suicide.

==Posts by Chris==
===Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 3 October 2013
<nowiki>**Megan Schroeder!**</nowiki>

You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, [[Trolls]], [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]] People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with [[Megagi La Skunk]]; [[Chris and reality|she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist]]. Also, your [[Sailor Megtune]] powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! [[Sailor Moon|Usagi and the Sailor Scouts]] would have been most ashamed of you.

You need to pay me what you owe for [[Chris and hypocrisy|Destroying Me, My Heart, My Soul, and My Life]] with your ungratefulness to [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|my past loyalty and devotion]]. You played me for a fool for Years, making me spend and spend on you with borrowed [[Chris and money|money]]! You continuously had Mimms an everyone else online humiliate me! I can not ever find employment now, because my background check has been made null and void with Your Damn Internet Troll Army! You would not even accept the Copies of the Uncut SM series I had burned for you! You conned me into giving you my Original DVDs. It is as if I was swindled into bargain basement, counterfeit imported crap. I poured my heart for you, and you break the glass pitcher the essence was stored in.

You need to pay me what you greatly owe me for Destroying Me! [[Chris and English|And I not or you and your army, stressing us out, my father would still be alive today]]! Face Me In Person and settle our Long Heated Rivalry and Domestic Hatred, NOW!!!}}

Chris also immediately posted two comments to his post:

{{quotebox|And by the way, [[Chris and religion|I pray]] you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch]] and the [[Michael Snyder|Bastard]]! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!}}

{{quotebox|NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!}}

===Apologize or else===

The next day he blamed Megan for this site.

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the [[Cwcki]], its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.}}

===GAMe PLACe revelations===

On the same day in which he posted the previous post, Chris made another one, correcting Megan's slanderous lies and revealing the true and honest truth about what happened at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs on to me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; His Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!"

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.}}

Immediately afterwards Chris posted the following comment to his post:

{{quotebox|NOBODY COMMENT OR EMAIL ME! I want HER to contact me In Person and Face to Face!}}

===Announcement===

{{quotebox|October 11, 2013

<nowiki>**Announcement**</nowiki>

Someone is pretending to be me in Spoofing and has been spamming the message screen capped below to a lot of people; likely those in my contact list on my AOL account.

Mainly, I have not ever been to the Phillipines; I am still in Ruckersville, VA; financial issues for real right here and now are irrelevant, and I am not in any trouble with any police or "embassy". Whoever is pretending to be me in this spoof attempt needs to stop or be stopped.

And in any case, please disregard the message if you have received it. — feeling pissed off.}}

===Mighty Wings Review===
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|October 15, 2013
I just had a 5 piece Mighty Wing at [[McDonalds]], with honey mustard; I had a sauce-free bite first. At the Forest Lakes location at least, there is a reason for offering a large drink free with 5 piece purchase. BOLDY SPICY!! They would do just as well offering a milk jug or two with purchase. They should make t-shirts: "I Survived the McD Mighty Wings!"}}

{{quotebox|Also, I just had my weight checked; lost seven pounds}}

===Another Announcement===
After the September 2013 Facebook leak on the [[CWCki Forums]], Chris posted the following:
{{quotebox|Monday, 28 October 2013

Announcement: Attention Everyone: Whoever has been capping and discussing my private posts, Please Stop It. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|I have no intention]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Apologize_or_else|towards anything online]], and my private thoughts I share Only with my [[Anna McLerran|Real Friends]] in my List Only should remain Private as such. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#GAMe_PLACe_revelations|And I have not been]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Announcement|whining about anyone]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|so please stop bothering people and telling them that I had]]. I will never be a member of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|anything]] about and/or against me online Ever, so any "kind offers" will be automatically rejected and ignored.

In other words, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Leave Me Alone and Quit Talking About Me At All]], you pinheaded [[Trolls]]!!!}}

===Reality Comes Knocking===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 30 October 2013

I had long thought I was liked genuinely as a person in [[Manchester High School]] by my closest [[gal pal]]s and everyone else. Now I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me.

Let me share a couple of recent [[emails]] from one of my friends. I am not doing this to be mean, cruel or bad, but it really hurts me emotionally.}}

{{quoteboxred|A lot of us were surprised, even shocked to see how much Christian had changed from the way we remembered him in high school. He was just this awkward, slightly-odd, shy kid back then. A lot of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|Special Ed kids]] got picked on but, [[Chris and his ego|for some reason]], Christian seemed to get it much worse than the others. _____ and _____ I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a [[Naive|lost little boy]]. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to [[My big 18th party|his 18th birthday party]].

_____ and _____ weren't so much friends of Christian's, as they were his protectors. Some kids used to mess with him and steal his stuff. These kids were constantly teasing Christian and picking on him, doing whatever they could to get some kind of reaction out of him. Mostly Christian just cried or ran away. I don't think I can remember a time where he tried to stand up to the bullies. He seemed to prefer to have other people do that for him.

No, I don't really follow Christian's activity on [[Facebook]]. I'm actually not on his friends list, for reasons I'd rather not discuss with someone I don't really know that well (no offense). I know a lot of the people that are on his friends list, and they mostly ignore him. He's basically background noise. The only time they really notice his posts is when he tags them. Some of the stuff he posts is kind of bizarre and disturbing, which is the main reason why I decided I didn't want to have any contact with him.

I'm also really creeped out that he's still obsessed with _____ and he's actively looking for her. She is well aware of this and she's taken steps to make sure that she's VERY hard, if not impossible, to find. Yes, I've been in touch with her, but I don't feel that I have her permission to pass along her contact information. I'll pass along your email address though, if that's OK. That way, she can contact you if she wants to.

A lot of people became friends with Christian because of the reunion and also, because a lot of them still felt sorry for him. Some people are having second thoughts though, after seeing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|that awful picture]] he drew of [[Megan|his friend]]. A lot of people stopped feeling sorry for him and started ignoring him after they saw that. I was shocked that he could draw something so gross and depraved. The "thumbs up" sign really pissed me off for some reason. The whole thing was very sexist, disrespectful, and, above all - damn creepy.

I have my suspicions about who may have leaked Christian's Facebook posts, but I'd rather not say, because I don't want to be involved in this. Christian accused this person of "leaking" the full list of classmates from our graduating class. Christian contacted some of his MHS friends and tried to make trouble. He told them to give this guy a hard time for what he did. His friends weren't amused. Anyway, I don't think Christian has anything to worry about. He's not friends with this guy anymore. }}

{{Quotebox|Once again, Not to be mean, cruel or bad:

I did not mean to sound cruel; I had thought you all were my friends for the sake of friendship, not for pity.

Really? REALLY?! You all thought of me as weak from first and outside impressions? For your information, I was not picked on as much as I am interpreting your exaggeration. If I was picked on as much as stated, I would have had wedgies, I would have been pestered in the Locker Room, I would have been shoved into a locker, etc., and NONE of those things have ever happened to me at all. I never expected any "protection" from anyone, and I looked up to you all as my Friends, Never like mothers. Oh, my god. I had no preference to anyone doing anything for me; I did a Lot of things for myself, including my homework. I was consistently on [[Honor Roll]]. Forgive me if my posts were not being considered "Normal" to you, but my life is what it is, and I am usually honest about details. NOBODY is happy or mentally sound 24/7/365. EVERYONE in this world has their own Mental Problems, No Matter What or Who. And frankly, I feel pissed off that you would judge me still for that ONE drawing that I had already elaborated on to make sure it had not been taken out of context. And [[Mimms]] is not to be trusted. If he really wanted to help me, he would have never EVER taken my photograph in [[2007]] and make mockery of me!

For everyone's information, I wanted to locate [[Tiffany Gowen]], because I wanted and needed my closest friend to talk to and find closure; I am Lonely and Sad! I went well out of my way to gather towards bringing everyone together for the reunion; I put a lot of the pure goodness I had felt in my my heart and soul into that work. Now I find out everyone was nice to me not for the sake of friendship or that they liked me, but because of sorry feelings!

I was mainstreamed throughout my education; [[Chris and reality|it had worked out well for me.]] I could be a lot worse off. I am not certain pity friendships are for the better for anyone, but real [[My_Little_Pony|friendships really are magic]] and healing, or at least they're supposed to be.

Well, now I know where I stand — feeling very sad.}}
Chris later added:
{{quotebox|This makes me so sad, I actually considered suicide. The only reasons I don't do it are [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and [[Clover and Snoopy|my dogs]], and that [[Chris and religion|premature death leaves one in Limbo]]. I am really hurt, and I feel emotionally paralyzed and numb. It all hurts.}}

===PLEASE UNDO IT!===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|
Look, Whoever reported me just now, PLEASE UNDO IT! I was typing a message to [[Gal pal#Molly Quarles|Molly Marie Quarles]] asking her if the recent email applied to her as well.}}

===Chris Will Only Accept Your Apologies In Person===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|If anyone wants to sincerely apologize to me or actually offer [[China|anything even remotely positive to me]], come to my house at [[14 Branchland Court]] in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]; I don't take [[emails]], [[phone calls]] or whatnot; those can be faked.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Homos

2013-11-25T23:38:35Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Evidence that Chris might be gay */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{quote|If you have an issue with homosexuality, then it comes from your own fear and your own darkness.|[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]}}
{{Quote|I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole. Uh...and uh, in my humble opinion, it just did not feel right to me. And uh, the anal beads, I just put 'em in there and they were, it's like... in. Not so stiff. So it was just that one time, then they got covered in poo, and I just, I put them in the trash can.|Chris.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]]."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: He is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating education|Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to prevent people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fails at it), using anything from the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy where all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostituites, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain Herr Himmler had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[Gal pal|gal pals]] and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|10 March 2009]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to justify his position against homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), an author of several blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris. <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496</ref>

{{quote|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia: Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily.]]

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[CWCville|Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]].

On the February 5th, 2012 entry on his [[Facebook_statuses|Facebook page]], he mentions buying Napoleon Dynamite because he learned 'that homo Andy Dick' didn't star in it.

In a [[Facebook]] post on March 29th, 2013, Chris threw a tantrum over media coverage of homosexual unions. Ironically, he showed support towards lesbian couplings, which would totally defeat the purpose of his [[sweetheart]] search since that would mean he'd have even ''more'' competition for single women.

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris' discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed as a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with male friends all the time. As the work serves as a backstory to the villanous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah may have served as a fictional parallel to the endless accusations of homosexualty lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersprses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would begin to revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris most likely shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, although his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men.

In [[Mumble 1]], Chris declares his support for lesbians and reiterates his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating how he hates [[JERKS]] in general, and how a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris supports lesbians solely because women are beautiful and men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterates his support for lesbians and his offense to "the damn homosexual males".

==Evidence that Chris might be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the harder Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would [[Tomgirl|rather be female]] than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collected [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Bluespike|Max]] told Chris to suck his dick, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "No." Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his [[Duck|duck]] when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a [[China|pussy.]] While you might be thinking that it's a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu]], a male character, on his [[duck]].
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When [[Julie_Reveals_Herself|Julie finally revealed herself]] as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.
* In the above same Trollin Train post he mentioned achieving [[Semen|Comeuppance]] before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and a bra].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When [[Bob]] learned of Chris's crossdressing, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On the 29th April, 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It%27s_not_that_cold|This video]], where Chris infamously says, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
*The fact that he uses the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to keep himself straight, implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of a gay icon will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd riddle on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the sphynx. It's worth noted that :
**[http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay.
**Lemon Cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals].
**Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage].
**Hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken].
**And the sphynx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is an [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act of oral sex], which may refer to Chris's [[duck]].
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One_Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[Sex toys|vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one needs not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women not to drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: He covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (We can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

Considering the large amount of blatantly homoerotic activities Chris has engaged in, it's a safe bet to say he's a self-hating closeted homosexual, and no amount of defenses will stop the man-child's suppressed urges.

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[Tomgirl]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

List of Chris's games

2013-11-25T01:11:33Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* PlayStation Portable (PSP) */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0828-EP12-5P7-1.jpg|thumb|left|[[CWCki]]'s [[America]]n readers helped pay for this. Anyone else suddenly feel like cheating on their taxes?]]
[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|One of their most valuable customers.]]

This is a catalog of [[Chris]]'s '''video game collection''', based in large part on a spreadsheet he sent to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in order to show how dedicated he is to video games. He surely is. The actual [http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv Excel file] contains more information about each game that Chris listed himself for some reason, like number of players for each game. Some games are obvious (every ''[[Sonic]]'' game (almost), every ''[[Pokémon]]'' game), some are surprising (''[[Homos|Barbie Game Girl]]''), some are bizarre (''Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickles|Pickled]] Edition''), and some are outright embarrassing (''Pooh's Party Game: In Search of the Treasure'').

For whatever reason, Chris's game inventory also includes demo discs, game peripherals (such as his [[PSEye]]), and other things that can't really be considered games (such as [[Wikipedia:Game Boy Advance Video|Game Boy Advance Video]] cartridges, a concept that failed to appeal to almost any American consumers...except, apparently, for Chris, who bought several of them). God only knows why Chris felt it was a brilliant idea to send a [[Nintendo]] executive a list of games he has on competing platforms, or to send a list of imports to a game company that practically invented region lock-out to prevent games from being imported.

The bulk of the list is only accurate to around the time of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], in January 2009. Luckily, his public [[PSN]] profile and other sources of information have made it possible to get a clearer picture of his ever-expanding [[PS3]] collection. Also, [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]] games and hardware are conspicuously missing from the list, but according to his [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]], he most likely owned one at some point.

Many [[trolls]] conservatively estimate that Chris and his family have spent at least $30,000 on video games in his lifetime (including $1,000 from a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1994 shopping spree]]), roughly 3 times the amount of Chris's annual [[Tugboat|income]] — your tax dollars at work. As of 2010, for downloaded games and other PSN content alone, he has spent nearly $3,500, and the toll continues to rise.

==Chris (barely) lets go==
In early August 2010, according to his [[Jackie E-mails 8|e-mails with Jackie]], Chris sold off "12 NES, 3 SNES, 6 Genesis, 9 Game Boy and 6 PSOne Games" at a local pawn shop, hoping to snag some spending money and get around his father's iron grip on his finances. (He attempted to sell 23 PlayStation games total. All but six were refused due to their poor condition.) A couple of weeks later, he went back and sold off more NES and SNES games, as well as his Super Nintendo console and a few accessories for it. Between both trips he pocketed a little over $80, but the extent of what he got rid of is not fully documented.

On 31 August, he made a third trip to the pawn shop, selling off his Nintendo 64 and all his games for the console. Total proceeds: $40. At the same time he tried to sell his 16-bit Sega consoles and games, but failed, since his Genesis was apparently malfunctioning.

Around the same time, Chris also made a couple of trips to his local GameStop to trade in some of his collection. In early August, he gave up "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP and 4 DS games" for $50 in store credit, which he immediately plowed back into a pre-order for more games. Later, around the end of the month, he traded in several Game Boy Advance, Gamecube, and Nintendo DS games for $100 worth of GameStop store credit. In both cases it's not clear exactly which titles he let go of.

In October 2010, Chris dropped by Plan 9 Music, a music store in Charlottesville, and sold them "7 PS3, 2 PSP, 4 Gamecube and 1 Wii game" along with several movie DVDs, although as usual he did not specify which titles. He thereby earned $48.75, most of which went directly into his stomach and Son-Chu's gas tank.

In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris mentioned the pawn shop trip to his enemies. A few weeks later, [[Clyde Cash]] obtained three of Chris's old games and his Super Game Boy from the pawn shop and uploaded pictures of the loot here on the [[CWCki]]. The pictures show that at one point, Chris labeled his games with his name and birthdate (which now serve as a True and Honest certificate of authentication), and that his copy of ''Dr. Mario'' was kept in less than satisfactory condition. If you live in [[Charlottesville, VA]] you can head down to Snooky's Pawn Shop and pick up your very own piece of Chris-chan memorabilia, and the best part is, Chris probably got paid less than a dollar each for his games.
<gallery>
File:Groupiz.jpg
File:Dk3v.jpg
File:Fotns.jpg ‎
File:Nametage.jpg|Nintendo Seal of Truth and Honesty
File:Drmariofull.jpg
File:Whytp.jpg
File:Thefuck.jpg
</gallery>

==The Games==
===Nintendo===
====Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:1942 (video game)|1942]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Baseball (1983 video game)|Baseball]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Batman (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Batman]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlequest|Castlequest]]''
|Nexoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania|Castlevania]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania II: Simon's Quest|Castlevania II: Simon's Quest]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse|Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Dance Aerobics|Dance Aerobics]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong 3|Donkey Kong 3]]''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Donkey Kong Classics''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Déjà Vu''
|Kemco-Seika
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Dr. Mario (video game)|Dr. Mario]]''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Gyruss#NES_and_Famicom|Gyruss]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kabuki Quantum Fighter|Kabuki Quantum Fighter]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Kirby's Adventure''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Kung Fu''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda (video game)|The Legend of Zelda]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Little Nemo: The Dream Master|Little Nemo: The Dream Master]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:M.C. Kids|M.C. Kids]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mendel Palace|Mendel Palace]]''
|Hudson Soft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid|Metroid]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Milon's Secret Castle''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Ninja Gaiden (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Ninja Gaiden]]''
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man''
|Tengen
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Pin*Bot (video game)|Pin-Bot]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:R.C. Pro-Am|R.C. Pro-AM]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Chris and english|Sesame Street ABC]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''Short Order/Eggsplode''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Solomon's Key''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:StarTropics|StarTropics]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Glove Ball|Super Glove Ball]]''
|Mattel
|Given that this game came with the [[Wikipedia:Power Glove|Power Glove]], it is possible Chris also owns the Glove (which is so...bad).
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros|Super Mario Brothers]]/[[Wikipedia:Duck Hunt|Duck Hunt]]/World Class Track Meet''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros. 2|Super Mario Brothers 2]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Bros. 3|Super Mario Brothers 3]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989 video game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_II:_The_Arcade_Game#Ports|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Tennis''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges (video game)|The Three Stooges]]''
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario's Woods|Wario's Woods]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)#NES_version|Wheel of Fortune]]''
|GameTek
|
|-
|''Wrecking Crew''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Zelda II: The Adventure of Link|Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Game Boy====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Alleyway|Alleyway]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Barbie: Game Girl|Barbie]]:[[Tomgirl|Game Girl]]''
|Hi-Tech
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Bases Loaded (video game)|Bases Loaded]]''
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Rescue of Princess Blobette|A Boy and His Blob: The Rescue of Princess Blobette]]''
|Absolute
|
|-
|''Brainbender''
|Electro-Brain
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Castlevania: The Adventure|Castlevania Adventure]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cool Spot|Cool Spot]]''
|[[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] Interactive
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Darkwing Duck (Capcom)|Darkwing]] [[Darkbind Sonichu|Duck]]''
|Sunsoft
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong (Game Boy)|Donkey Kong]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong Land|Donkey Kong Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Donald Duck|Duck Tales]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:F-1 Race|F-1 Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:List of Fist of the North Star video games|Fist of the North Star]]''
|Electro-Brain
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Game_and_Watch_Gallery#Game_.26_Watch_Gallery|Game and Watch Gallery]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Game Boy Camera|Game Boy Camera (red)]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|Game Boy Camera (blue)
|Nintendo
|That's right - two cameras. Gotta catch 'em all!
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Golf (video game)|Golf]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Heiankyo Alien|Heiankyo Alien]]''
|Meldac
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Home Alone (video game)|Home Alone]]''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters|Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kirby's Dream Land|Kirby's Dream Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Kwirk|Kirk]]''
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marble Madness|Marble Madness]]''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge|Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man II (Game Boy)|Mega Man II]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Metroid II: Return of Samus|Metroid II: Return of Samus]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers]]''
|Bandai
|
|-
|'''''[[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Red and Blue|Blue]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Red''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pretty Soldier [[Sailor Moon]]''
|Angel
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Pretty Soilder Sailor Moon R''
|Angel
|A Japanese import
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Qix|Qix]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Quarth|Quarth]]''
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''Ren & Stimpy: Cadet Adventures''
|THQ
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the 'Gator|Revenge of the Gator]]''
|HAL
|
|-
|''Shanghai''
|HAL
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land|Super Mario Land]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins|Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Scrabble''
|Milton-Bradley
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan'']]
|Ultra Games
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Tennis (video game)|Tennis]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tetris (Game Boy)|Tetris]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break|Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break]]''
|Konami
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Turrican|Turrican]]''
|Accolade
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!|Wario Blast]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3|Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Wave Race|Wave Race]]''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Nintendo Entertainment System)|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi (video game)|Yoshi]]''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''The Chessmaster''
|Mindscape
|
|-
|''Legend of the Mystical Ninja
|Konami
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Mario Paint''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mega Man X''
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Pilotwings''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Fox''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Stunt Race FX''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Game Boy''
|Nintendo
|Now in the possession of Clyde Cash.
|-
|''Super Mario All-Stars''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Kart''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Metroid''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Scope 6-in-1''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time''
|Konami
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Safari''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Nintendo 64 (N64)====
According to an [[Jackie E-mails 12|e-mail to Jackie]], Chris sold his Nintendo 64 and all of the games listed below (save for the Wii downloads, obviously) in [[August 2010]].
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Banjo-Kazooie
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Cruisn' USA
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Diddy Kong Racing
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hey You, Pikachu!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Lego]] Racers
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Mario Kart 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Trolls|Mischief Makers]]
||Nintendo
|
|-
|''Paper Mario''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle League
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Snap
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pokémon Stadium 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sin & Punishment|Sin & Punishment]]''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Star Fox 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race 64''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Story''
|Nintendo
|
|}

====Game Boy Color (GBC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 2''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 3''
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gex: Enter the Gecko''
|Crave
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Crystal
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Gold
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Puzzle Challenge
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Silver
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trading Card Game
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Yellow
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario Bros. Deluxe
|Nintendo
|
|}
====Game Boy Advance (GBA)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Chu Chu Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Classic NES Series: Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''e-Reader
|Nintendo
|Nintendo’s barcode reader peripheral for ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and other games.
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Futari Wa Pretty Cure Max Heart
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Gallery 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Game Boy Advance Jukebox
|Gamester
|A GBA player for MP3 music files.
|-
|''Gumby Vs. the Astrobots
|Namco
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Kaznapped
|THQ
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Dream Champ Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Super Circuit
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario vs. Donkey Kong
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Fusion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[My Little Pony]]: The Runaway Rainbow
|THQ
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Emerald
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon FireRed
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon LeafGreen
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ruby
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sonic]] Advance
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Advance 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Pinball Party
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Mario Advance
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris Worlds
|THQ
|
|-
|''The Three Stooges
|Cinemaware
|
|-
|''Wario Land 4
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc. Mega Microgame$
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Twisted
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Yoshi Topsy-Turvy
|Nintendo
|
|}
====Game Boy Advance Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''All Grown Up! Volume 1
|Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Limited Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Platinum Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Premium Edition
|Cartoon Network
|Chris’s 100th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Special Edition
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''Cartoon Network Collection: Volume 1
|Cartoon Network
|
|-
|''The Fairly Oddparents: Volume 1
|Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 1
| Nickelodeon
|
|-
|''Nicktoons Collection: Volume 2
| Nickelodeon
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Beach Blank-Out Blastoise
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: For Ho-Oh the Bells Toll!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: I Choose You!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon GBAVideo: Johto Photo Finish
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Sonic X Volume 1: A Super Sonic Hero!
|Sega
|
|}
====Nintendo GameCube (NGC)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Amazing Island
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Animal Crossing]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg
|Sega
|
|-
|''BMX XXX
|Acclaim
|Probably bought for [[Mass debating]] purposes.
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Konga 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the Gamecube
|-
|''Evolution Worlds
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''F-Zero GX
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Go! Go! Hypergrind
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Party
|Konami
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Master Quest
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Luigi's Mansion
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:MC Groovz Dance Craze|MC Groovz Dance Craze]]
|MadCatz
|
|-
|''Mario Party 5
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Party 7
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Pac-Man Vs.
|Namco
|
|-
|''Pac-Man World 2
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Box: Ruby & Sapphire
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Channel
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Colosseum Bonus Disc
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Relish Rampage [[Pickle]]d Edition
|Warner Brothers
|
|-
|'''''[[Blake|Shadow the Hedgehog]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Gems Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Heroes
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|''Spider-Man
|Activision
|
|-
|''Spyro: A Hero's Tail
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Star Fox Adventures
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron 2
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Star Wars Rogue Squadron 3: Rebel Strike
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Super Mario Sunshine
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Melee
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wave Race: Blue Storm
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Gamecube Preview Disc
|Nintendo/Sega/Others
|
|}

====Nintendo DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''100 Classic Books
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Animal Crossing]] Wild World
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Big Brain Academy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Slow in the minds|Brain Age]]
|Nintendo
|Chris’s 150th acquisition for Nintendo handhelds
|-
|''Cooking Mama
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Drill Dozer
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Love quest|Feel the Magic XY/XX]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Flipnote Studio]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart Danzen! DS
|Bandai
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Game & Watch Collection
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi
|THQ
|
|-
|''Jump Superstars
|Nintendo
|A Japanese import
|-
|''Kirby: Canvas Curse
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Magnetica
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Hoops 3-on-3
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime: Hunters First Hunt
|Nintendo
|A demo cartridge
|-
|''Metroid Prime Pinball
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''New Super Mario Bros.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Nintendogs: Dachshund & Friends
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Picross 3D
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Dash
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Diamond
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue Rescue Team
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Pearl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Ranger
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Trozei!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Polarium|Polarium]]
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Retro Atari Classics
|Atari
|
|-
|''The Rub Rabbits
|Sega
|
|-
|''Snood 2: On Vacation
|DSI
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rush Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Sprung]]
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Star Fox Command
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Sudoku Gridmaster
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Mario 64 DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Princess Peach
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Tetris DS
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''True Swing Golf
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare D.I.Y.
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''WarioWare Touched
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Nightmare Troubadour
|Konami
|
|}

====Wii====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|'''''Animal Crossing City Folk
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Battalion Wars 2
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Dr. Mario Online RX
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Elebits
|Konami
|
|-
|''Family Table Tennis
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Link's Crossbow Training
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Kart
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Mario Super Sluggers
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Metroid Prime 3 Corruption
|Nintendo
|
|-
|'''''My Pokémon Ranch
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''[[White knights|NiGHTs]]: Journey of Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Pokémon Battle Revolution
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1
|SNK
|
|-
|'''''Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic and the Secret Rings
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Chaos
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] Legends
|Namco Bandai Games
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Get Even
|Square Enix
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Super Mario Galaxy
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Super Smash Bros. Brawl
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wario Land: Shake It!
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Music
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Play
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''Wii Sports
|Nintendo
|
|-
|''World of Goo
|2D Boy
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|}

====TurboGrafx-16 Entertainment SuperSystem====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Bonk's Adventure''
|Hudson
|A digital download for the Wii
|}
====Nintendo 3DS====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Mighty Milky Way<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>
|Wayforward
|
|-
|''Frogger 3d
|Konami
|Attempted to sell on [[ebay]]
|-

===Sega===
====Sega Master System====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Wonder Boy''
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|}
====Sega Genesis (Mega Drive)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Alien Soldier''
|Nintendo
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|''Bubsy in- Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Desert Strike
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Fantasia
|Sega
|
|-
|''Genesis 6-Pak
|Sega
|
|-
|''Kid Chameleon
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Klax (video game)|Klax]]
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Monopoly
|Parker Brothers
|
|-
|''Ms. Pac Man
|Tengen
|
|-
|''Rocket Knight Adventures
|Konami
|
|-
|'''''Sonic & [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles]]
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|A digital download for the Nintendo Wii
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 3
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Spinball
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Sex toys|Toy Story]]
|Disney Interactive
|
|-
|''X-Men
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega Game Gear====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''The Chessmaster
|Sega
|
|-
|''Columns
|Sega
|
|-
|''Desert Speedtrap Starring Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote
|Sega
|
|-
|''Krusty’s Fun House
|Flying Edge
|
|-
|''Quest for the Shaven Yak Starring Ren & Stimpy
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Drift 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Chaos
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic the Hedgehog Triple Trouble
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Columns
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega CD====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Batman Returns
|Sega
|
|-
|''Double Switch
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Ecco: The Tides of Time
|Sega
|
|-
|''Flashback: [[Liquid Chris|The Quest for Identity]]
|U.S. Gold
|
|-
|''Jaguar XJ220
|JVC
|
|-
|''Jurassic Park
|Sega
|
|-
|''Mad Dog McCree
|American Laser Games
|
|-
|''[[Power Rangers|Mighty Morphin Power Rangers]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Rape|Night Trap]]
|Digital Pictures
|
|-
|''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Classics Arcade Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sewer Shark|Sewer Shark]]
|Sony Imagesoft
|
|-
|''Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|
|-
|''Star Wars: Rebel Assault
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Time Gal
|Renovation
|
|-
|''Tomcat Alley
|Sega
|
|-
|''Wirehead
|Sega
|
|}

====Sega 32X====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''B.C. Racers
|Front Street Publishing
|
|-
|''Cosmic Carnage
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Knuckles Chaotix
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[I AM STRONG|Toughman Contest]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Racing Deluxe
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Saturn====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Baku Baku
|Sega
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden URA
|Sega
|
|-
|''Fighters Megamix
|Sega
|
|-
|''NiGHTs into Dreams
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic 3-D Blast
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic R
|Sega
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter Remix
|Sega
|
|}
====Sega Dreamcast====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Bleem! *Gran Turismo 2*
|Bleem
|An emulation disc for the PlayStation ''GT2''
|-
|''[[Son-Chu|Chu Chu]] Rocket
|Sega
|
|-
|''Crazy Taxi
|Sega
|
|-
|''Evolution
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Evolution 2
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Jet Grind Radio
|Sega
|
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''The Next Tetris
|Crave
|
|-
|''Q*Bert
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[List_of_cards_from_The_Wall_of_Originals#Espanolic|Samba de Amigo]]
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Dreamcast Generator D.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Sega Smash Pack V.1
|Sega
|
|-
|''Skies of Arcadia
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure 2
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Shuffle
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]]: [[CADD Chef|Chef's]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Luv Shack]]
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Super Magnetic Neo
|Crave
|
|-
|''Suzuki Alstare Extreme Racing
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Time Stalkers
|Sega
|
|-
|''Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation
|Eidos Interactive
|
|-
|''Virtual-On Oratorio Tangram
|Activision
|
|-
|''Wetrix +
|XICAT
|
|}

===Sony===
==== PlayStation (PSX, PSone)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''2Xtreme
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Activision Classics
|Activision
|
|-
|''Amazing Virtual Sea-Monkies, The
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''Arcade's Greatest Hits - The Midway Collection 2
|Midway
|
|-
|''Atari Anniversary Edition Redux
|Atari
|
|-
|''Battle Arena Toshinden
|Takara
|
|-
|'''''Beast Wars [[Transformers]]
|Hasbro
|
|-
|''Blaster Master: Blasting Again
|Crave
|
|-
|''Bowling
|A1 Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''[[Chris and anger|Bloody Roar]]
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Bubsy 3D
|Accolade
|
|-
|''Casper: Friends Around the World
|Sound Source
|
|-
|''Castlevania Chronicles
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Cool Boarders 4
|Sony
|
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Universal Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Crash Bash
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Danger Girl
|THQ
|
|-
|''Dead in the Water
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Defcon 5
|Data East
|
|-
|''Destruction Derby
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Ultimate Battle 22
|Infogrames
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII
|Square Enix
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ford Racing
|Empire Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Frogger
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gran Turismo 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gundam Battle Assault 2
|Bandai
|
|-
|''[[Plush Breasts|Hooters:]] Road Trip
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|989 Studios
|A physical copy
|-
|''Jet Moto 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jet Moto 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Jumping Flash!
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''King of Fighters ‘99
|SNK
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Klonoa: Door to Phantomile
|Namco
|
|-
|''Lego Island 2: The Brickster's Revenge
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Loaded
|Interplay
|
|-
|''Medal of Honor
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medal of Honor Underground
|Electronic Arts
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Medievil
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mega Man Legends
|Capcom
|
|-
|'''''[[Metal Gear Solid]]
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Miracle Space Race
|Mud Duck
|
|-
|''Mobile Light Force
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Mortal Kombat 4
|Midway
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''MTV Music Generator
|Codemasters
|
|-
|''Need For Speed: High Stakes
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Need For Speed III: Hot Pursuit
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|[[Obesity|Pizza Hut]] Sampler Disc 2
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Pooh's]] Party Game: In Search of the Treasure
|Disney
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack 1
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Summer 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''PlayStation Underground Jampack Winter 2000
|Sony
|
|-
|''Porsche Challenge
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-Traction
|Warner Brothers
|
|-
|''Puzzle Star Sweep
|A1 Games
|
|-
|''Rally Cross
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Rayman 2: The Great Escape
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director's Cut
|Capcom
|A physical copy
|-
|''Resident Evil: Director’s Cut
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Resident Evil 3: Nemesis
|Capcom
|A demo disc
|-
|''R-Types
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''R-Type Delta
|Agetec
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''SimCity 2000
|Maxis
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Small Soldiers
|Electronic Arts
|Chris’s 50th acquisition for the PlayStation
|-
|''SnoCross Championship Racing
|Crave Entertainment
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Space Jam
|Acclaim
|
|-
|''Spec Ops: Airborne Commando
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Covert Assault
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Ranger Elite
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spec Ops: Stealth Patrol
|Take-Two Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Speed Racer
|Jaleco
|
|-
|''[[Homo|Spice World]]
|Psygnosis
|
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Universal Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Spyro the Dragon
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Spyro: Year of the Dragon
|Universal Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles
|LucasArts
|
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Street Fighter Alpha 2
|Capcom
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Suikoden
|Konami
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Superstar Dance Club: #1 Hits
|XS Games
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Syphon Filter 3
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Ten Pin Alley
|ASC Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tekken 2
|Namco
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six
|Ubisoft
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A physical copy
|-
|''Tomb Raider II
|Eidos Interactive
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Toy Story 2
|Sony PlayStation
|
|-
|''Twisted Metal 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Um Jammer Lammy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Vandal Hearts
|Konami
|
|-
|''V.I.P.
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Vigilante 8: 2nd Offense
|Activision
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Wild Arms 2
|Sony
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|-
|''Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
|Williams
|
|-
|''XS Junior League Soccer
|XS Games
|A digital version for PS3/PSP
|}

====PlayStation 2 (PS2)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 105
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 106
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 107
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 108
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 109
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 110
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 111
|Sony
|
|-
|Official PlayStation Magazine Disc 112
|Sony
|
|-
|''Aeon Flux
|Majesco
|
|-
|''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] - Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
|Midway
|
|-
|''[[Britney Spears|Britney's]] Dance Beat
|THQ
|
|-
|''Crash Nitro Kart
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Crash [[Crystal Weston Chandler|Twinsanity]]
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Dance Dance Revolution Extreme
|Konami
|
|-
|''Dark Cloud
|Sony
|
|-
|''EyeToy Play
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''[[Family Guy]]
|2K/Fox
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 2
|-
|''Fatal Frame
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto 3
|Rockstar Games
|Attempted to sell on [[eBay]].
|-
|'''''[[Guitar Hero]]
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero II
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Encore - Rocks The 80s
|Red Octane
|
|-
|''The Guy Game
|Gathering
|
|-
|''InuYasha: The Secret of the Cursed Mask
|Bandai
|
|-
|''Jak X: Combat Racing
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 10
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 11
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jampack Volume 14
|Sony
|
|-
|''Karaoke Revolution Volume 3
|Konami
|
|-
|''Kingdom Hearts
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil
|Namco
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marc Eckō's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure|Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo]]
|Bandai
|
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2
|Sony
|
|-
|PSUnderground Summer Sampler
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Mega Collection Plus
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] II
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''Soul Calibur III
|Bandai/Namco
|
|-
|''Space Channel 5: Special Edition
|Sega
|
|-
|''Taiko Drum Master
|Namco
|
|-
|''Tekken Tag Tournament
|Namco
|
|-
|'''''[[Transformers]]
|Atari
|
|-
|''Unreal Tournament
|Infogrames
|
|}

====PlayStation 3 (PS3)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''3D Dot Game Heroes
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Age of Booty
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the [[PlayStation Network]]
|-
|''Altered Beast
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ape Escape (Playstation Move)
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Aquatopia
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core 4
|Sega
|
|-
|''Astro Tripper
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Back to the Future: The Game
|Telltale
|Both the disc version and the downloadable version
|-
|''Band Hero
|Activision
|
|-
|''Battle Fantasia
|Aksys
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Beatles: Rock Band
|MTV Games
|
|-
|''Beat Sketcher <ref>[[:File:BeatSketcher20101012.png]]</ref>
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bejeweled 3
|Popcap
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bionic Commando (2009)
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Bionic Commando Rearmed
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bioshock
|2K Games
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blade Kitten
|Atari
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blast Factor
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $8 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Blokus
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle
|Relentless Software
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Bomberman Ultra
|Hudson Soft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Borderlands
|2K Games
|
|-
|''Braid
|Number None
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[Brutal Legend|Brütal Legend]]'''''
|Electronic Arts
|Chris's 50th physical acquisition for the PS3.
|-
|''BurgerTime World Tour
|MonkeyPaw Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burn Zombie Burn
|Pinnacle
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Burnout Paradise
|Electronic Arts
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $67 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Monster Rally
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz! Junior: Robo Jam
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz TV
|Sony
|Approximately $31 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Buzz!: Quiz World
|Sony
|
|-
|''Calling All Cars
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Catherine
|Atlus
|
|-
|''Championship Sprint
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
|Atari
|
|-
|''Comet Crash
|Pelfast
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Comix Zone
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Costume Quest
|THQ
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crash Commando
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Crescent Pale Mist
|Rockin' Android
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Critter Crunch
|Capybara Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Cuboid
|TikGames, LLC
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Dark Sector
|D3 Publisher
|
|-
|''Dead Space
|Electronic Arts
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice
|NIS America
|Approximately $65 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Dragon Ball Z]]: Burst Limit
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Chandler cats|Droplitz]]
|Atlus
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
|Bethesda
|"Game of the Year Edition"
|-
|''Elefunk
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Enchanted Arms
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''[[The Eye of Judgement]]
|Sony
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Fairytale Fights
|Playlogic
|
|-
|''Fallout: New Vegas
|Bethesda
|
|-
|''Far Cry 2
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Obesity|Fat]] Princess
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''flOw
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Homo|Flower]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Folklore
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fret Nice
|Tecmo
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Frogger Returns
|Konami
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Giant Enemy Crab|Genji: Days of the Blade]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Go! Puzzle
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $3 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Go! Sports Ski
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sports Skydiving
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $12 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''[[God of War]] III
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Grand Theft Auto IV
|Rockstar Games
|
|-
|''Gravity Crash
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Green Day: Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|Interestingly enough, their frontman is a [[homo]].
|-
|''GripShift v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Gauntlet II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero 5
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Aerosmith
|Red Octane
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Hits
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Metallica
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero Van Halen
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Guitar Hero World Tour
|Red Octane
|
|-
|''Gunstar Heroes
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Hail to the Chimp
|Gamecock
|
|-
|''Hamilton's Great Adventure
|Fatshark
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Heavenly Sword
|Sony
|
|-
|''Heavy Rain
|Sony
|
|-
|''High Stakes: Poker Edition
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''High Velocity Bowling
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|''The House of the Dead III
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''inFamous
|Sony
|
|-
|''Invincible Tiger: The Legend of Han Tao
|Namco Bandai Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Jak and Daxter Collection
|Sony
|
|-
|''Jeopardy!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Joust
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Killzone 2
|Sony
|Approximately $6 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lair
|Sony
|
|-
|''The Last Guy
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Lego Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
|Lego Media
|
|-
|''Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
|Funsta
|
|-
|''Lemmings
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''LIMBO
|Playdead
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Linger in Shadows
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|Approximately $98 spent on DLC.
|-
|''LocoRoco Cocoreccho!
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mainichi Issho
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Marvel Ultimate Alliance
|Activision
|
|-
|''Mega [[JERKS|Man]] 9
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mega Man 10
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mesmerize
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''[[Sonichu's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|'''''[[ModNation Racers]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Monster Madness: Grave Danger
|South Peak Interactive
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat (2009)
|WB Games
|
|-
|''Mortal Kombat II
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Motorstorm
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Motorstorm RC
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Mushroom Wars
|Creat Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Namco Museum Essentials
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Noby Noby Boy
|Bandai Namco Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Novastrike
|Tiki Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Nucleus
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PAIN
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $41 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
|Hothead Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Eden Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Monsters Encore
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $9 spent on DLC.
|-
|''PixelJunk Racers
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''PixelJunk Shooter
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Piyotama
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Q*Bert v2.0
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampage
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rampart
|Midway
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank Future: [[Fuck Quest|Quest for Booty]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Rayman 3 HD
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Red Faction Guerrilla
|THQ
|
|-
|''Resident Evil 5
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Resistance: Fall of Man
|Sony
|Chris’s 25th acquisition for the PlayStation 3
|-
|''Rock Band
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Band 2
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Rock Revolution
|Konami
|
|-
|''Saints Row 2
|THQ
|
|-
|''Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 1: The Penal Zone
|Telltale Games
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''SAW
|Konami
|
|-
|''Sega Superstars Tennis
|Sega
|
|-
|''The Simpsons Game
|Electronic Arts
|
|-
|''Siren: Blood Curse
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Snakeball
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $2 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Adventure
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic CD
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic Generations
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)
|Sega
|Approximately $7.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 2
|Sega
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|'''''Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode 1
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Unleashed
|Sega
|Approximately $18 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|'''''[[Soul Calibur]] IV
|Namco Bandai
|"Premium edition"; approximately $33.50 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''SoulCalibur V
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 3
|Activision
|"Collector’s edition"
|-
|''Stranglehold
|Midway
|"Collector’s edition"; approximately $15 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|Approximately $20 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Stuntman Ignition
|THQ
|
|-
|''Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super [[Mass debating|Rub a Dub]]
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Stardust HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Super Street Fighter IV
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars
|Psyonix
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
|Ubisoft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection
|Namco
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Tekken Hybrid
|Namco
|
|-
|''Timeshift
|Sierra
|
|-
|''Toy Home
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $7 spent on DLC.
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|'''''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
|Activision
|Approximately $10 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Trash Panic
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
|Sony
|
|-
|''Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception
|Sony
|
|-
|''UNO
|Gameloft
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom
|Sony
|
|-
|''Virtua Fighter 5
|Sega
|
|-
|''Warhawk
|Sony
|Approximately $19 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2
|Warner Bros.
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wheel of Fortune
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''WipEout HD
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3
|Capcom
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Wolfenstein 3D
|Activision
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''X-Blades
|SouthPeak Interactive
|
|-
|''Zen Pinball
|Zen Studios
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|}

====PlayStation Portable (PSP)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Ape Escape Academy
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Escape ~ On the Loose
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ape Quest
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Armored Core: Formula Front - Extreme Battle
|Agetec
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury - Blazin' Trails
|Sony
|
|-
|''ATV Offroad Fury Pro
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Beats
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Brain Challenge
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''[[Fuck quest|Brooktown High]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Bust-A-Move Deluxe
|Majesco
|
|-
|''BUZZ! Master Quiz
|Sony
|
|-
|''Carol Vorderman's Sudoku
|Secret Stash
|
|-
|''Crash Tag Team Racing
|Universal Interactive
|
|-
|''Darkstalkers Chronicle - The Chaos Tower
|Capcom
|Chris's 50th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|''Daxter
|Sony
|
|-
|''echochrome
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network; approximately $5 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Every Extend Extra
|BVG
|
|-
|''EXIT
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Frogger: [[Slow-in-the-minds|Helmet Chaos]]
|Konami
|
|-
|''Gangs of London
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gangs Of London
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Go! Sudoku
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''God of War - Chains of Olympus Special Edition: Battle of Attica
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Gran Turismo
|Sony
|
|-
|''Gripshift
|Red Mile
|
|-
|''Guilty Gear Judgement
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Gunpey
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''Gurumin - A Monstrous Adventure
|Mastiff Games
|
|-
|''[[Harvey Birdman Commercial|Harvey Birdman]] - Attorney At Law
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Hot Pixel
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Recycling|Infected]]
|Majesco
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|
|-
|''Killzone Liberation
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Cwcville|Kingdom of Paradise]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lego Stars Wars II: The Original Trilogy
|Lego Media
|
|-
|'''''[[LittleBigPlanet]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Locoroco
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines II
|BVG
|
|-
|''Mercury Meltdown
|Ignition
|
|-
|''Mind Quiz
| Ubisoft
|
|-
|''MLB 07: The Show
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Mobile Suit Gundam - Battle Royale
|Bandai Namco Games
|A Japanese import
|-
|'''''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|
|-
|''Patapon
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''[[Autism|PQ Practical Intelligence Quotient]]
|D3
|
|-
|''Puzzle Challenge Crosswords and More
|Crave
|
|-
|''Ratchet & Clank: [[Duck|Size Matters]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sampler Disc for PSP Vol.1
|Sony
|
|-
|''Sega Genesis Collection
|Sega
|
|-
|''[[Clover and Snoopy|Snoopy]] Vs. the Red Baron
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''SOCOM U.S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals
|Sega
|Chris's 25th acquisition for the PSP.
|-
|'''''Sonic Rivals 2
|Sega
|
|-
|''Space Invaders Extreme
|Taito
|
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Combat Ops
|Sony
|Downloaded via the PlayStation Network
|-
|''Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow
|Sony
|A demo disc
|-
|''Tekken: Dark Resurrection
|Bandai Namco Games
|
|-
|''The Con
|Sony
|
|-
|'''''Transformers - The Game
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Fridays After Five|Ultimate Block Party]]
|Conspiracy
|
|-
|''WipEout Pure
|Sony
|
|-
|''WTF: Work Time Fun
|D3
|
|}

====Universal Media Disc (UMD) Video====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Ah! My Goddess the Movie
|Geneon
|
|-
|''Creature Comforts: The Complete First Season
|Sony
|
|-
|''[[Family Guy]]: Freakin' Sweet Collection
|Fox
|
|-
|''Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
|Sony
|
|-
|''Fun with Dick and Jane
|Columbia
|
|-
|''Into the Blue
|MGM
|
|-
|''Lords Of Dogtown
|Columbia
|
|-
|''National Lampoon's Animal House
|Universal
|
|-
|''[[Some Favored Comedians|Saturday Night Live]] Collection - The Best of [[Obesity|Chris Farley]]
|Lions Gate
|
|-
|'''''[[South Park]] ~ When Technology Attacks!
|Comedy Central
|
|-
|''Spider-Man New Animated Series The Mutant Menace
|Marvel
|
|-
|''Spider-Man 2 UMD Movie
|Columbia
|
|-
|''STEALTH
|Columbia
|
|-
|''[[Virgin with rage|Superbad]]: Unrated Extended Edition
|Columbia
|
|-
|''Wedding Crashers: Uncorked Edition
|New Line
|
|}

====PlayStation Vita (PSV)====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|''Army Corps of Hell
|Square Enix
|
|-
|''Dungeon Hunter: Alliance
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Escape Plan
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational
|Sony
|
|-
|''Hustle Kings
|Sony
|
|-
|''Little Deviants
|Sony
|
|-
|''Lumines Electronic Symphony
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''[[ModNation Racers]] [[Ohio trip|Roadtrip]]
|Sony
|
|-
|''MotorStorm: RC
|Sony
|Approximately $4 spent on DLC.
|-
|''Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus
|Tecmo
|
|-
|''Plants vs. Zombies
|Popcap
|
|-
|''Rayman Origins
|Ubisoft
|
|-
|''Reality Fighters
|Sony
|
|-
|''Ridge Racer
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Sumioni: Demon Arts
|AQUIRE
|
|-
|''Super Stardust Delta
|Sony
|
|-
|''Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
|Drinkbox Studios
|
|-
|''Touch My Katamari
|Namco Bandai
|
|-
|''Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom
|Capcom
|
|-
|''Uncharted: Golden Abyss
|Sony
|
|-
|''Unit 13
|Sony
|
|-
|''Welcome Park
|Sony
|A tutorial game that comes with the Vita
|-
|''WipEout 2048
|Sony
|
|}

===Microsoft===
Despite Chris's avowed hatred of da [[HEXBox]] 360, he tried to sell several games for the original Xbox on [[eBay]], making it possible that he owned one.<ref>[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]</ref>
====Xbox====
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Title
!align="left"|Publisher
!align="left"|Notes
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']]
|Activision
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]''
|Vivendi Games
|
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']]
|Atari
|
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]''
|Gotham Games
|
|}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's Blu-ray discs]]
*[[Miyamoto Saga]]
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''
*''[[Sonichu Advance]]''
*''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''
*[[Video games]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mdn5wamumtv The Excel file]
*[http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2 Purchases from May 7th onward]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Sweetheart

2013-11-24T04:16:16Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart? */

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of Potential Sweethearts]]
{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}
A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian]]'s flavor-of-the-month.
__TOC__
==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his [[virgin with rage|virginity]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after the illustrious metal and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of chaperoned dates, and a trip to a hooker. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself applied generously, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Christian's [[Gal Pal|Gal Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts by virtue of the fact that they are known to Christian and don't appear to hate him.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|REAL versus FAKE]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Christian spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be bent a little, as expedient.

*18 - [insert current age] Years Old
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Christian established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes, "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that there's a special someone waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White Knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to reply to this question with a resounding, ''"No!"''

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are a few basic reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a man in his thirties who plays with children's toys and video games, and still lives with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment are almost completely alien concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly wasted on stupid crap he doesn't need. On top of that, he implies a lot that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home and watch after the kids (badly) while his wife goes to work]]. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has issues that would damage a relationship.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that upset women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] found themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. He also [[List of Chris's lies|lies a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can damage a girl's trust and faith in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] have led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without truly meaning it. On top of that, he seems to be of the idea that women in a relationship with him [[Women's_rights#In_real_life|will tolerate waiting on him hand and foot while he plays video games all day, and bear his children.]] No self-respecting woman will ever put up with that nonsense.

'''3) Chris is not self-sufficient.''' As mentioned before, Chris doesn't have a job and currently has no plans to strike it out on his own, opting instead to live with his mother. His welfare after room and board deductions is barely over the $200 mark, which he wastes on toys and video games instead of saving for something really important. He also has a habit of landing himself into [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards| debt]] with his purchases, and isn't even aware of [[Mumble 4|all of the necessary bills one needs to pay to keep a house running.]] He has also [[PlayingHouse|indicated]] that if he becomes a family man, he will be leeching off of his wife instead of looking for work on his own. It'll become crystal clear to any woman who learns this about Chris that he is definitely not marriage-material, as he definitely won't be able to support a family, much less himself.

'''4) [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Chris's Hygiene]].''' Chris doesn't shower regularly (believing that all you need are a few sprays of [[Axe]]), routinely [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shits himself]], lives in an [[14 Branchland Court|untidy house with garbage everywhere]]. [[Emily|One woman]] has gone on record by saying he smells like 'rotten watermelons'.

''' 5) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Though it sounds shallow to say, Chris isn't exactly what you'd call a 'looker.' Even before he started dressing like a [[Tomgirl]] ''(already a deterrent in itself for a [[Homos|certain reason]])'', Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|seriously overweight]]. And let's not get started on a certain medallion he always wore back in the day, which only made him look laughably worse. Long story short, if Chris caught up with the latest trends and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit.

'''6) Chris acts like a dork.''' Again, although it sounds shallow, the fact remains that Chris' childish mannerisms can repel women. Take a look at [[For_My_Sweetest_Ivy|this video where he attempts to woo Ivy,]] for example. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient, outdated show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream 'manchild', and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His recent [[Tomgirl]] antics haven't helped either- he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which can cement in potential sweethearts' minds that he's possibly ''gay.'' (Sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomboy pictures was featured on MTV's Failosophy, where the ''only'' person who would date him was the gay guy.)

'''7) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A sad truth about Autism is that some sufferers are very resistant to change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it gets in the way of him getting [[China]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction.

'''8) Chris is an intolerant bigot.''' [[Homos|He hates homosexuals.]] He has shown insensitivity (if not outright [[Niggos|enmity]]) towards people of different races. Woe be onto you if [[Noviophobia|you're a ''male'']], too. Needless to say, the only women who'd approve of this stance would have to be outright racists who don't have any male friends themselves, and then you'd have to consider the fact that they must also put up with financially supporting a couch potato who plans to be a [[Father Call|"house husband"]] and shits himself, which would put the grand total of women who'd be interested in Chris to a big, fat '''ZERO.''' For an example of this and how women would not tolerate such an attitude, consider [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|this post he made]] (and the replies he got as a result) on Facebook ''(to truly hammer the point home, Kim, a friend of Chris', points this out.)''

'''9) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a book to try and get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role as the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Even if a girl was interested, Chris would likely be too afraid to talk back to her. If there was such a girl, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. He barely (if at all) has any friends, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his stubborn personality of holding back on everything in his life (moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, ect.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

==Conclusion==
Despite [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|having said that]] girls should go after poorer, less attractive guys because "they will likely have a better personality", Chris doesn't seem to think that the same applies for the opposite gender. He still insists his sweetheart must be physically attractive and well-off enough to financially support him, not realizing that he himself leaves a lot to be desired in terms of being boyfriend material.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]
*[[Noviophobia]]
*[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
*[[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]
*[[Gal Pal]]

{{Sweethearts}}

List of Chris's lies

2013-11-24T03:27:54Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Chris's lies */

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article has been deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this article to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow in the minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* Chris claims his [[Duck|penis]] is 6 inches long, the average size of a human male penis. But in [[Chris humps his PS3|one video]], a frustrated Chris blurts out his penis is only 4 inches long.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when it fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEX-BOX|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local Walmart, thus proving his hatred for the [[HEX-BOX]] is still strong.

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2013-11-23T04:50:23Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* The Facebook Review */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Stanardsville]]

'''Nathanael Greene Elementary School''' is an elementary school in [[Wikipedia:Stanardsville, Virginia|Stanardsville, Virginia]], a 192-acre (78-ha) town (to put that in perspective, [[Wikipedia:Cuyamaca Community College|this community college]] is about the same size as the whole town), which basically consists of a highway intersection. The school is named for the [[Wikipedia:American Revolutionary War|Revolutionary War]] hero [[Wikipedia:Nathanael Greene|Nathanael Greene]]. [[Chris]] attended [[Wikipedia:Fourth grade|fourth-grade]] classes at this school. To this day, he consistently misspells the school's namesake as "Nathan'''i'''el Greene."

[[Bob]] pulled Chris out of the school after Chris was allegedly abused by [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] and members of the staff.

{{quote|...they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha--with, uh holding my wrists and my ankles|Chris on his teachers and principals<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>}}

Chris has also claimed that his time at Nathanael Greene inspired and justifies his hatred for [[homos]], since [[Bruce Johnson|the principal]] who allegedly assaulted him was supposedly gay.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]</ref> If this sounds a little odd to you, well, we're just getting started.

Based on "physical abuse from 5 faculty members", Chris's parents took the case to [[Wikipedia:Greene County, Virginia|Greene County]] court. After the school board threatened to take Chris out of mainstream schools, Bob and Chris moved to [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

==Why Chris left==
{{quote|There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, the patient's father moved them to Richmond, Virginia.|Jeff Raynor, M.D., 5 November 2004<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref>}}

The [[autism papers]] confirm that Chris's parents moved him out of Greene County to avoid the possibility of having Chris admitted to a special school. Still, a clear picture of what actually took place has never come together. In his accounts of and references to the incident, Chris unsurprisingly leaves out important details (such as what prompted the school staff to "abuse" him) and tends to spin the story in a way that favors him.

==Chris's side of the story==
Though Chris does briefly complain about getting an "F" in the fourth grade during the "[[Song of Christian]]", he doesn't mention anything else about his time at Nathanael Greene in that video. The earliest documented mention by Chris of the incident which led to his departure from the school was made in 2003 in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] in which Chris blamed the incident on the faculty's lack of knowledge on how to deal with an autistic child. Chris alluded to the incident once more in [[Story of My Current Days]] ("my torturing past with the jerks of the Greene County School System") but did not elaborate any further. His earliest detailed account of the incident appears in his first major YouTube address to the world, from 7 [[November 2007]].

{{quote|...some of the teachers and principals of Nathanael Greene Elementary School… that I was attending in later years (about, uh, late 1980s, early 1990s) [inhales sharply] They abused me—they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha—with, uh, holding my wrists and my ankles, pinning me down to the ground and—and audio-taping my cries and shouts. But, anyway, my mother and my father, they both fought the court system, the Greene County court system, which, uh, they were not a very nice bunch of people, very not. Hands down. But, anyway, we eventually moved to Chesterfield County for a nice, better school system.|Chris, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]}}

He recounted a similar, but shorter version of the story in his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|Wikipedia profile]].

{{quote|Some conflict between my mother, father and the school system occurred after physical abuse from 5 faculty members late in my 4th Grade; my parents took the case against the Greene County School Board for a year or two. The board threatened to lock me away in an institution, and my family did not want that, so in September, 1992, my family and I moved to Chesterfield County, while keeping our Ruckersville Home, for better Schooling.|Chris, on Wikipedia, 01 May 2009.}}

In the [[Father Call]], from [[November 2009]], Chris brought up the incident more or less out of nowhere, seemingly as a bid for sympathy.

{{quote|Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school ... prinstapull ... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber? ... They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution!|Chris, [[Father Call]]}}

One of the [[Common Questions]] Chris answered in the Mailbag in November 2009 asked him to list the 10 worst things that had happened in his life. The elementary-school incident came in at number 10.

{{quote|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade.|It was worse than The Autism, but not as bad as leaving high school.}}

==Chris's other side of the story==
In early 2009, Chris began to reveal another facet to his story, claiming that the principal was a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. He alluded to this element of the story in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|Captain's Log video]] from 21 January 2009, where he hinted that he had uncovered "repressed memories." Chris later went into a bit more detail in [[Mumble 3]].

{{quote|Oh yes. [[Bruce Johnson|Doctor Johnson]] of Nathanael Greene Elementary. The principal. He was a h- he was uh, the homo... that pretty much set me against... the homos and further kept me on the straight path.|Chris, [[Mumble 3]].}}

In an IRC chat from around the same time, Chris had more to say about Principal Johnson, as well as his father's campaign against the school board that later ensued.

{{quote|Back in my Green County Days, The Principle of the Nathanel Greene Elemetary School, Dr. Johnson, was a Homo, and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and my father caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates, but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding Autism. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE THE HOMOS the Worst.|Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.}}
[[File:Asperchu Principal Parody.JPG|thumb|left|After he told Alec in that phone call, it was parodied in [[Asperchu]]]]

Chris recounted another version of the story in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], when Alec claimed that homosexuals had never done him any harm.

{{quote|I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.|Chris, setting himself up for another parody.}}

When Alec pressed him to explain what those "offensive things" were, Chris couldn't recall any details. Bear in mind that Chris considers anything offensive if it's something he doesn't want to hear, so Bruce was probably just telling Chris to study harder or behave better or something similar.

Given the fragmented nature of Chris's accounts, it's not clear whether he believes that the principal's-lap incident and the pinned-down-and-taped incident were directly connected. Certainly it's easy to imagine how they might be linked together: Chris goes to see the principal, he feels threatened, he becomes agitated, then more staff members have to be called in to deal with the problem. Another possibility is that he threw a hissy fit over [[Song of Christian|getting an F on an assignment]] and the situation got out of hand. However, a more complete and reliable version of the story (or stories) has yet to be discovered.

Chris's beliefs that he was molested and that there was a conspiracy to have him institutionalized is most likely inspired by Bob, who has delusions of things like unidentified possible [[homos]]exuals, [[Megan Schroeder]], and [[Michael Snyder]] [[Matthew Noble call|all being in collusion to get Chris kicked out of]] [[the GAMe PLACe]]. Bob's attribution of that incident to an imaginary cabal instead of Chris's behavior also shows a similar pattern of accountability on behalf of the Chandlers.

==Missing details==
Obviously, there are several oddities and inconsistencies in Chris's stories.

*Chris has never clearly explained what triggered these incidents. According to all of his accounts, the school faculty either assaulted him without provocation or for lustful or sadistic reasons.
*Public schools are required to have faculty experienced with special education, so it's doubtful that Chris was surrounded entirely by people who didn't understand his condition.
*As a rule, elementary school principals aren't supposed to let kids sit on their lap for the exact reason Chris was afraid of: it's inappropriate behavior. It's quite likely, however, that Johnson was just trying to comfort Chris and forgot the rule.
*On top of that, the odds that an openly gay man would be employed as an educator in the conservative South in the early 1990s are slim to none.

Furthermore, this assumes that Chris's claims of abuse by his principal aren't entirely fabricated to begin with. For starters, his line about "repressed memories" is fishy, and the revelation becomes even more suspect in light of its timing.

Chris first mentioned his recollection of the incident in a video recorded right after his [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] accused him of being a closeted homosexual and mocked his irrationally aggressive homophobia. It's quite possible that Chris invented the story about being abused as an excuse to defend his homophobia and a means of further proving his straightness — since he was abused by a gay man, goes Chris's unique version of logic, that means he can't be one himself, and likewise that incident of abuse justifies his irrational hatred of gay people in general.

As for the more thoroughly-documented incident where Chris supposedly had to be subdued, it's most likely that Chris's autistic behavior was difficult for the school's staff to control, and the district sought evidence to prove that Chris needed to be moved out of mainstream schools. Evidence like this could also be used as evidence of parental neglect or incompetence in choosing to avoid the obvious care a child with mental disabilities needs.

==The "institution"==
A critical gap in the story concerns exactly where Chris would have gone if he had been removed from the mainstream school system, as the Nathanael Greene staff proposed. As mentioned above, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|psychiatric survey]] in [[2004]] described it as a "special school," but Chris generally refers to it using harsher terms like "institution" or "mental institution," as in the [[Father_Call#Experience_and_respect|Father Call]] and his [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville|e-mails with Jackie]], presumably because his parents have referred to it in such a manner.

One clue appears in the [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_Lies_About_The_Game_Place|Jackie communications]], where Chris calls it "that Winchester Mental Institution." [[:wikipedia:Winchester, Virginia|Winchester]] is a small city in the Shenandoah Valley area of northwestern Virginia, and it's home to the [http://www.grafton.org Grafton School], a well-established school and group home that specializes in, among other things, the education and treatment of young people with autism. Some observers speculate that this may be where Chris would have been sent had his parents not insisted on mainstreaming him.

The reasons why his parents were so adamant to keep him in a "normal" or "mainstream" educational environment aren't hard to guess. Not surprisingly, most of these objections are self-centered and are really about the parents' own feelings, not their child's needs. Like many parents whose children have special needs:

* They may have felt that Chris's need for "special care" would reflect poorly on them as parents.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be stigmatized by being put in a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be limited in future opportunities by being put in a special school.
* They may have feared that a greater financial burden would be imposed upon them if Chris was moved to a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris's problem "wasn't a big deal," while educators who spent most of the day with him saw the reality of the situation.
* They, by Chris's own admission, thought that the school was going to lock Chris up in a padded cell for the rest of his life with no chances to make friends ever.

==The aftermath==
After pulling Chris out of Nathanael Greene, [[Bob Chandler]] unsuccessfully took legal action against the school district. His case was eventually dropped in 1994. In 1992, Chris's family moved him away to the Richmond suburbs in order to keep him in mainstream classrooms, and we now have the Chris we know and love today.

In subsequent years, Chris has taken the notion (which supposedly originates with his father) of an autism-hating homosexual conspiracy to drive him from the school system and inflated it into something even more unlikely. In a [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] he imagines that they are also responsible for forcing him to move away from his high-school friends in Richmond and getting him kicked out of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

The decision to mainstream Chris at all costs is perhaps the most significant turning point in his development. Had he received an education more effectively tailored to his needs and learned more about his condition beyond how to use it as an excuse, he might have become a substantially more well-adjusted adult. Unfortunately, we will never know.

To this day, all of the residents of [[14 Branchland Court]] consider it the wisest decision they have ever made.

==The Facebook Review==
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris posts a 1-star review on an unofficial [[Facebook]] page of the elementary school, showing that he ''still'' hates the elementary school to this day:

{{quote|The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]|[[Christian Weston Chandler]] as he continues to look into his past.}}

==See also==
*[[Bruce Johnson]]
*[[Greene County Conspiracy]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

List of things Chris has shoved up his ass

2013-11-19T01:07:25Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love */

{{Honest}}

{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}

'''[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has shoved many things up his ass''' for [[Sex|sexual pleasure]] (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). Many adults, even STRAIGHT adults, have done this, but in Chris's case it's particularly funny because he happens to be an insanely [[Homos|homophobic]] [[Virgin with Rage]]. For a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the True and Honest graphic details of his anal experiences.

Even though he already has fecal incontinence, one can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a homo, we can only imagine [[Pickles|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.

==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
*[[Dildo]] (with a condom on<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>, later [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|destroyed]] in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength<ref>[[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength]]</ref>)
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work)<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[stress|duress]] because a [[Julie Reveals Herself|13 year-old told him to]])
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation)<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Jets of water from his shower head (told Vanessa that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose." ) <ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>

==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her.")<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo (as long as it's NOT dick-shaped because that would be gay)<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6"/>
* A real dick (if Ivy wanted him to) <ref>[[Homos]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references />

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

List of things Chris has shoved up his ass

2013-11-19T01:03:11Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love */

{{Honest}}

{{quote|As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently.|[[Jackie E-mails 6|Chris explaining the origins of his anal fixation]]}}

'''[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has shoved many things up his ass''' for [[Sex|sexual pleasure]] (and in [[Julie Reveals Herself|one instance]], because he was being "blackmailed"). Many adults, even STRAIGHT adults, have done this, but in Chris's case it's particularly funny because he happens to be an insanely [[Homos|homophobic]] [[Virgin with Rage]]. For a long time Chris repeatedly denied ever committing such heinous, homoerotic acts, but eventually all it took was a few trusted [[Trolls|gal-pals]] for him to confidentially reveal the True and Honest graphic details of his anal experiences.

Even though he already has fecal incontinence, one can only imagine what wonders this does for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

This list only covers what Chris has admitted shoving up his ass. Given that he was hesitant to admit this much, out of fear that he will be misinterpreted as a homo, we can only imagine [[Pickles|what items]] he has experimented with that he's too ashamed to confess.

==Things Chris has shoved up his ass==
*[[Dildo]] (with a condom on<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>, later [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|destroyed]] in an attempt to prove his straightness and his strength<ref>[[Mumble 7#15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength]]</ref>)
*[[Anal beads]] (ended up "covered in poo" and thrown away because Chris didn't understand how they work)<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
*[[Medallions#Mark_2|Sonichu Medallion]] (broken into pieces first, done under [[stress|duress]] because a [[Julie Reveals Herself|13 year-old told him to]])
*[[Chris and Health#Hygiene|His fingers]] (unlike with the other things he shoved up there, Chris actually admitted that this "felt alright", and it appears to now be his preferred method of anal stimulation)<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6">[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>
*Jets of water from his shower head (told Vanessa that he used to put things up his butt but it became uncomfortable for him so now it's just "sometimes with a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose." ) <ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>

==Things Chris is willing to shove up his ass for his true love==
*A fake dick ("I would take that in for her.")<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref>
*Strap-on dildo (as long as it's NOT dick-shaped because that would be gay)<ref name="Jackie E-mails 6"/>
* A real dick (Only if Jackie wanted him to) {see also: [[Homos]]}

==Sources==
<references />

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Chris and death

2013-11-19T00:47:43Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates Ryan Cash's death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of Matthew Devoria's mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any Sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Christian seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===

In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with cancer, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dreams|dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barb|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===[[Barbara Chandler]] (1941-)===
Barbara, much like [[Bob]] before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara suffers from obesity, and this constitutes to her poor health- key issues of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barbara keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris without parents- and in particular, with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company. Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Obesity|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and Health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Fuck Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and Remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like [[Bob]], who had suffered from (and eventually passed away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and [[alcohol]]ism, he may be genetically dispositioned to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it would be the only thing that would put an end to his [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving [[Dreams|recurring visions]] of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a [[sweetheart]]. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his [[Attraction Sign|obsessive standards]] and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a recent [[Facebook]] post during Halloween 2013, Chris stated that he has become so [[stress|stressed]], that he has contemplated suicide multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he hasn't done it are [[Barbara|painfully]] [[Clover_and_Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. In all seriousness, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution. Of course, this could be Chris exaggerating, trying to gain pity, as he has done in the past.

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

Rollin' and Trollin'

2013-11-19T00:19:42Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

'''Rollin' and Trollin'''' is a video of downtown [[CWCville]] (really downtown [[Charlottesville]]) uploaded on 17 [[July 2009]] in which Chris attempts [[Wikipedia:Andy Kaufman|Kaufmanesque humor]]. Notable is a video message to real life [[trolls]], including several [[CWCki]] editors.

[[Chris]] has changed his look to:
*normal hairstyle
*[[Krapple|a goatee]]
*sunglasses instead of large, square [[pedo glasses]]
*plain blue T-shirt and jeans
*[[navy]] blue sleeveless unbuttoned shirt over his t-shirt
*dog-collar bracelets
*his forearms appear to be covered in thick tattoos, compliments of the tattoo sleeve from the [[Fuck Quest|fuck quest]]
*no [[Amnyfest Ring]]
*a chain with some dog tags, instead of his trademark [[Sonichu medallion]]

The lack of the ring and medallion suggested that Chris was not entirely TRUE and HONEST when he made this video, something that he indeed confirmed later. Chris also is continuing his pattern that started about a month before of sometimes not speaking clearly; however, his dialogue is especially unclear here at many parts.

In some parts of the video, his voice suddenly sounds like that of a man in his twenties, and even when his voice cracks to a high pitch, it sounds like video editing was done to deepen it. However, in other parts of the video, his voice starts cracking as it normally does, like a young boy's voice. No matter what, he still sounds like... well, an [[autistic]].

Also, a man is filming this video. His identity is unknown, and weather or not he is the same unspecified individual as the [[Magical Man]] has not been determined. It is also possible he is the unidentified cameraman in the [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]] video, or they could all be the same person.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Rollin' and Trollin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|a4-LgbN-sHA}}
| stardate = 17 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [[IBAChandler]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{TrollinShirt|}}
| other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[A near public apology]]
| next = [[CWC Trollin More]]
}}

{{quote|Well the, uh, truth comes out. I’ve never been autistic, I work forty hours a week to support my parents, this has all been a trick, you have all been trolled. }}

=== Transcript ===

''[Note: an [http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=107843413913045677951.0004720130396776af50b&ll=38.030219,-78.480331&spn=0.006845,0.012757&t=h&z=17&lci=com.google.ugc.c752d13e87c4fbd7 annotated listing] of the locations featured in this video has been created on Google Maps.]''

''Christian Weston Chandler, Rollin’ and Trollin’''

[''Music, in the form of "Escape from the City" from ''[[Sonic]] Adventure 2'', plays as Chris walks down the street'']

'''Chris''' ''imitating an announcer'': Hi we’re coming to you live from CWCville today. We’re over at the CWCville pavilion. The, uh, [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] and the, uh, master Christian Mayor the, uh they for day, uh, come here every Friday night and, uh, and it draws a crowd, uh, and it’s very good y’know. [''Shimmies clumsily''] This gives me some, uh, business from amongst the population that comes around.

[''Music plays as Chris walks down the street'']

'''Chris''': Ah yes this is our graffiti wall in the mid- uh in the middle of the, uh, city of CWCville in the metropolis. The, uh, fee- the, uh, children are, uh, enjoying it obviously and this is also part of our beautification project in the city and we and I gotta say that the, uh, project just looks fantab- fantastic from here. It all looks very good. I tell you what. “Give me the liberty to know, to utter and to argue according to conscience above all liberties.”

[''Music plays while Chris goes to an elevator. 15 seconds of dead air time pass while he waits for the elevator to arrive while the music plays like it's the coolest thing in the world. The video is also even cut in between the elevator wait as the elevator took even longer to come. The music itself makes the dead air time seem like it's two minutes instead of fifteen seconds. The music continues as he boards the elevator. The lift rises until they arrive at a car park on the top floor.'']

'''Cameraman''': So how do you feel about President [[Obama]] and his economic policies?[[File:Cameraman.png|thumb|Contrary to popular belief, the cameraman (on the right) seems to be a pretty normal guy.]]

'''Chris''': I like it. It’s he’s doing a smash-up job of it and he’s, uh, getting everybody their money and, uh, getting everybody the bang for their buck.

'''Cameraman''': How do you feel about President Obama’s foreign policies with countries like Iran and Iraq?

'''Chris''': Hmmm. Yeah. I think he’s doin’ OK. You know, uh, establishing, uh, good communications and, uh, giving them what they, uh, require yeah he’s I think he’s doing a very good job with his, uh, foreign policies.

'''Cameraman''': President Obama, being a family man, what is your opinion on his character?

'''Chris''': I think he’s a regular stand up [[family guy]].

''During the Obama questions, Chris's voice pitch was in the style of how his voice becomes very high pitched when he lies.''

[''Music plays as Chris walks along talking and gesturing at the sky. They arrive at the Timberlake drug store.'']

'''Chris''': Ah yes the old Timberlake drug store. It’s been in the, uh, family for generations. The, uh, only, uh ss- generation that, uh, has not been able to run it is the one that went on to a singing career.

[''Outside a bar named Rapture. A clothing store called [[Vivian]]'s is clearly visible'']

'''Chris''': Alright well since the, uh, bar s- since the bar law has been repealed, the drinking law, the this here’s the first bar to open up. The, uh, Rapture, uh, in the city of CWCville. Ah also known by the nickname of, uh, R2.

[''Heart wipe. Chris strides along to music'']

'''Chris''': Over in downtown CWCville the honor the, uh, death of our dearly departed, uh, bodyguard of mine, [[BILLY MAYS]]. He sacrificed his life in an assassination attempt from m- from me and, uh, is doobly honored in downtown CWCville. We build this building. [''Camera pans to a derelict apartment block.''] To be completed in a few, uh, the towers n-, uh, the building the buildings will be the BILLY MAYS Tower and will serve as the new commercial site in the commercial center.

''And now some words to our fans''

'''Chris''': Hey Xantos (sic), man don’t ya be waggling that carton finger around at people. [''Flips off the camera''] Hey [[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]], you wish you were as cool as [[Robotnik|Doctor Ivo Eggman]]. [''Punches the air, gives V-sign''] Tie day is groovy, maaan. PeachyKeen is always awesome [''V-sign turns into Shocker sign''] wasn’t just in a decade it’s forever. [[Wikipedia:Space Channel 5|Ulala]], now reporting for Space Channel 9, is that yoouu in that picture? Hey, Cosmos, you wish that I could feel ya’. [[Wikipedia:Anthony Sullivan (pitchman)|Anthony Sullivan]], you’re nothing without BILLY MAYS, you’re nothing with BILLY MAYS and if you want to talk about cock building look at BILLY MAYS memorial right behind me. Okay, El Misto, you don’t like my beard so much [''Camera zooms in on his chin''] I’ll tell you much it was a present form uncle Scrotor. Tez-manian Devil, some people have oily skin [''Camera zooms in on his forehead''] it doesn’t mean that their hygiene is bad. How about instead of the, uh, water that doesn’t work so well how about I rub you off my face! Hey double C D, yeah the Robotech Era is over Gundam overshadowed it. Arrrg, Neckbeardedone, quit lurking in ye shadows and step up and be a real troll. Hey [[User:RachmaninovDESU‎|Rachmaninov]] [''In air quotes''] stop dissing this chick. Man up will you? Captains log star date Velour Fog? Zap Brannigan? What’s the deal with that? I’d punch you in the face like Leela does. [''Swipes at the air''] Hey Morden, yeah we kissed but that’s not all: I hit that like the fist of an angry God.

''Thank you''

[''Music plays as Chris walks'']

[''In a park. Chris is wearing a pair of eye glasses over his eyes and a pair of sunglasses over his forehead'']

'''Chris''': Hey, I’m not near-sighted that was a rules [ruse]. If you want to see what they really do gimme a sec’. [''Puts glasses in front of the camera. With a whoosh and a hum, the scene becomes posterized in reds, purples, and greens, mimicking [[wikipedia:Predator (alien)|the infrared sight]] of the creatures from the ''Predator'' movies.'']

''A few thoughts on [[Optimus Prime]]''

'''Chris''': Yeah, Optimus Prime, uh, compurer, um, do not really care much for him, uh, I mean ever since the movie he’s always hanging around with Sam y'know. He’s always hanging around with kids. Somemany needs to call [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]].

''The final word about the greatest troll in history...''

Well the, uh, truth comes out. I’ve never been [[autistic]], I work forty hours a week to support my parents, this has all been a trick, [camera zooms in on Chris as he points his finger] you have been trolled.

[''Music plays while Chris does his victory lap'']

''Cast''

''Christian Weston Chandler as Himself''

''Special Thanks: The Field Agents of CWCVille’s Security Taskforce''

''The [[PVCC (board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] ''

''Old Spice Swagger: The Scent of Confidence ''

''[[Hex Box|Microsoft’s X-Box 360]]''

''And the silly trolls everywhere, for the many [[lulz]] you have provided.''

==See also==
*[[Fridays After Five]]
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]|nextlink=[[CWC Trollin More]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Social life]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-17]]

List of Chris's lies

2013-06-01T00:18:19Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Chris's lies */

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article has been deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this article to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him being making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* Chris claims his [[Duck|penis]] is 6 inches long, the average size of a human male penis. But in [[Chris humps his PS3|one video]], a frustrated Chris blurts out his penis is only 4 inches long.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when it fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it {at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

April 16 Fetish Vids

2013-05-31T23:57:32Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|right|The April 16 Fetish Vids also include a set of photos, showing [[Chris]] wearing [[butt garments|diapers]].]]

The '''April 16 Fetish Vids''' is a set of three videos and a handful of photos, showing [[Christian Weston Chandler]] engaged in different explicit and shocking practices. This content was released by [[The Miscreants]] on 16 [[April 2009]].

==Fanta: Semen Flavor==
===Transcript===

''[Chris appears in his room, dressed in a green bathrobe. [[Mass debating|His hair is disheveled.]]''

This is for my sweetest [[Ivy]]'s eyes only.

''[Chris holds up a small disposable cup made of clear plastic. A thick, white liquid rests in a thin layer along the bottom.]''

Here's some of my, uh, [[Semen|cum]] I just masturborted out.

''[He points at his own semen in the cup and brings it even closer to the camera.]''

'Bout to that much, that's usually a lot.

''[Chris holds a can of Fanta orange soda near the camera. He wears his [[Amnyfest Ring]] on his hand.]]

Couldn't find any [[Obesity|chocolate syrup]], but I have some orange soda.

''[Chris cracks open the can of Fanta. He fills the bottom third of the [[Fapcup]] with soda. He swishes the soda and semen around, with an extremely disquieting smirk on his face.]''

Well... bottoms up!

''[He tilts back his head and drinks the cup of semen and Fanta.]''

There you go, Ivy, orange-flavored cum. Hope you enjoyed that!

===Screen caps===

<center><gallery>
Image:Cumguzzlingchris1.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris2.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris3.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris4.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris5.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris6.jpg
</gallery></center>
Can be viewed here: [http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html]
* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?7yw5fyttez9]
==Spank Dat Ass==
===Transcript===
''[Chris is dressed in a green bathrobe and nothing else. He looks at the camera, kneels on his filthy, [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|yellowed]] mattress and begins spanking himself. He doesn't do a very good job.]''

Oh, I'm sorry for being...

''[spanks self]''

Uh!

''[spanks self]''

Oh!

''[spanks self]''

Yeah!

''[spanks self]''

A bit harder!

''[spanks self]''

Oh, I'm sorry!

''[spanks self]''

Oh [[Ivy]], that smarts!

''[rubs ass]''

Aah.

===Screen caps===

<center><gallery>
Image:Spanking1.jpg|SMACK
Image:Spanking2.jpg|DAT
Image:Spanking3.jpg|ASS!!!!
</gallery></center>

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?9zgntjn3tl5]

==How NOT to take a Shower==

{{quote|C'mon, let's go do it in the bedroom!|Chris, ever classy}}

===Transcript===

''[A [[ShowerClean|disgusting shower]] stall is shown. The grout is black with mildew and there are large blotchy brown stains on the tile. Two rolls of toilet paper appear in the foreground. Suddenly, the giant fat ass of a white male enters the frame.]''

Hey Ivy! May I have this dance?

''[Christian extends his hand towards the shower, which is empty except for mold and fungus. He steps inside, and begins a naked slow dance in his shower. His body is only visible from the chest down and his body is completely shaved. His skin tone is hard to describe due to the lighting but looks unhealthy. His hands are clenched tightly, as if he [[Pedofork|is holding the hands of a small child]]. About 25 seconds in he tries to twirl, and has a hard time turning his body around. He stumbles off-balance and catches himself against the wall. He then holds one arm up like he's twirling his imaginary dance partner. At 50 seconds in he makes a hugging motion and leans forward as if kissing his [[Troll|pretend Internet girlfriend.]]]''

Oh yeah, c'mon, let's go do it in the bedroom. Let's go Ivy. I'll help you.

''[Chris steps out of the tub and walks towards the camera, bringing his tiny, hairless, shrunken genitals extremely close to the camera. He fumbles at the camera for a second and it shuts off.]''

===Screen caps===

<center><gallery>
Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg|DAT GROUT
Image:Assofterror.jpg|In the actual video it jiggles alarmingly.
Image:Goodbyehorses.jpg|Chris shows off his dance moves to the mold and mildew.
Image:Fallingoffbalance.jpg|Chris lightens the mood of an otherwise intensely disturbing moment by almost falling on his face.
Image:Doitinthebedroom.jpg|"Let's do it in the bedroom!"
Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|HA HA HA HA HA!
</gallery></center>

Can be viewed here: [http://www.slutload.com/watch/BiQqrpqIPub/Chris-chan-takes-a-Shower.html]

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?htymxy4incb]

==Really? This fetish?==
A set of pictures showing Chris wearing diapers ("nappies" to Britfags), or, as Chris calls them, [[butt garments]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg|You can actually see the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit stains]]
Image:HelloSpas.jpg
Image:Ecp00065.jpg
Image:Ecp00066.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?ujy9stnezvm]
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A CWC Audition]]|nextlink=[[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-16]]
[[Category: Ivy Saga videos| 2009-04-16]]
[[Category: Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-04-16]]

Chris and remorse

2013-04-10T02:25:45Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Motivation to apologize */

{{Quote|Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.|[[Chris]], after making a public apology on [[Facebook]].}}

Every so often, one of [[Chris]]'s less flattering deeds catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris tries to come off as emotional, often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is the lack of empathy, meaning it's likely that Chris has a difficult time trying to understand what other people feel. Just as time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]], he seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. When he is expected to show remorse, it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PS3]].

==Concept of Wrongdoing==

Developing an understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children don't actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do. They base their actions on whether they are punished or rewarded, before they eventually internalize a consistent value system and learn to police their own behavior. Chris seems to be stuck in the earlier, childlike state. If something makes him feel bad, or if experience tells him he'll get in trouble for doing something, it must be wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] prescribes or how this will affect others, simply do not rank.

An excellent example would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[Homos|gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point did he even consider Megan's feelings. When she [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[Chris and sex|porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, reasoning that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|TL;DR: I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he won't get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

Every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words "I'm sorry". We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris's apologies spring from this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I am Alive|one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements|certain ads removed from the CWCipedia]], but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla Rosechu]], in accordance with [[Evan|her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9 February 2010|his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not TRUE and HONEST. We had all suspected, but it's nice to get confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris_and_Hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates would be overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apologetic apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine. In that very same issue in fact, Chris at one point sheds a tear after sealing up the populated [[4-cent garbage.com]] building and destroying it. You know, because faking remorse with crocodile tears ''totally'' justifies mass murder.

Chris's insincerity can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and she cut off all ties with him, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he only wanted her for [[sex]]. When his apology failed to work as planned, Chris became very angry and spiteful, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].

Another came from his apology note on his [[Facebook]] discovered in [[October 2012]]. In it, he seemingly came to the realization that he had massively messed up, that about as much [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] from him had been gotten from him as possible and that he was sorry for it all happening. Surprisingly, it was a very well written, unselfish apology that would seem somewhat convincing - right until he demanded that all instances of trolling and [[CWCki|websites]] [[CWCki Forums|dedicated]] [[789chan|to]] [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|him]] be stopped and removed and there was no mention of him trying to straighten up. All he wanted was all the bad stuff about him removed so he can feel better about himself. Had he not included that, people might of actually taken him seriously, but, [[nudes|as]] [[28 October, 2011|usual]], he had to fuck himself over.
{{-}}

==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was shocked by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] came from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a [[United States of America|good American]] (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref> than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Slow-in-the-mind|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He was far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments might have caused.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is a stupid, evil [[JERKS|JERK]] whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him because of him being [[Autism|special]], and furthermore out of jealousy for his [[Chris and his Ego|many]] [[Chris and reality|"successes"]] in life. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Love Quest|heroic quest]].

This "Everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gave him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieved his aim]]. Once again, Chris saw no wrong in this. Since Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, anything he did in response was entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, nearly always has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, of his apology messages are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not by any true sense of guilt. A retraction of an apology is just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his Ego|save face]] or to gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on 2 March 2010. However, only a month later, on 8 April, he was talking to [[Jackie_E-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls hacked his PSN accounts, Chris made [[a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Dragon Ball Z|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and Religion|Christianity]] he practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in the first place..

Considering that he [[Surfshack Tito (video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't Mess With Me|threatening]], and [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason. The best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strong. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he really wanted to credit her in one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels. Chris asked Wallflower if she thought it would be safe to credit Wallflower by her FF.net penname. Wallflower agreed, as she was unable to find any obvious trails leading from her FF.net account to her Facebook account. Unfortunately for both of them, trolls still managed to find a link between the two accounts within 24 hours of Chris dropping her penname. After she was linked to the site and promptly horrified by how much of her personal information had been compromised, she politely requested that the article be reworked with her privacy in mind. As much of the information in the original Wallflower article had very little to do with Chris, the request was deemed reasonable and the admins of the CWCki complied.

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|she broke off all contact with Chris]]. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (The Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). However, [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had never been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

In the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#The_Breakup|having an internet presence at all]]. From Chris's perspective, the whole incident was Wallflower's fault for having a Facebook page for trolls to discover in the first place. Chris repeatedly insisted that ''Wallflower'' was the one who needed to apologize to him(as she had okayed the use of her screename), despite the fact that putting her screename in the level was his idea in the first place. More than a year after the debacle, Chris [[Calling Out|made it obvious]] that he believes that the person who should apologize to Wallflower is Surfshack Tito rather than himself.

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[list of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to ''forget'' important, critical details of his life, typically memories that either make him either look or feel bad. When [[Jackie E-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie_E-mails_2#Chris "Forgot" He Cheated On Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Trans-gender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgendered women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about one's past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[Chris and anger|anger]]. Projecting, much?
*After Chris was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him on religious grounds then called him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*Chris made an [[A_near_public_apology|apology video]] after [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|releasing a series of videos insulting various Youtubers.]] Aside from sounding half-assed and insincere about it, Chris' motivation for doing so was clear: his PSN account was being held hostage by the last Youtuber he had insulted.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9 February 2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[April 16 Fetish Vids|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|apologized for his actions]] but structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that [[Ching Chong]] shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions]], Chris apologized for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking the worst act of domestic terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apology video]]... which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I Love You Kacey|"I Love You Kacey"]], where he claimed he "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie_E-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".
*On 21 [[October 2012]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook]] status [[Facebook#Please forgive me!|apologizing]] for past misdeeds. He immediately asked that all online groups and "individual hatreds" be disbanded.

==Sources==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Barbara Chandler

2012-12-10T00:18:43Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Physical */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice.}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara is [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara has lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref>
However, taking into account her age, laziness, and stubborn personality, it seems highly unlikely Barbara lost weight by exercize and\or dieting. It is perhaps possible Barbara is suffering from a specific disease, like [[Wikipedia:Diabetes|Diabetes]], especially considering [[Mcdonalds|all]] [[restaurants|the crap]] the Chandlers are known to eat (although there is no physical evidence to this claim).

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, however "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites, where he would die in the hospital.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating Education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Barbara Chandler

2012-12-10T00:16:40Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Physical */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice.}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara is [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara has lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref>
However, taking into account her age, laziness, and stubborn personality, it seems highly unlikely Barbara lost weight by exercize and\or dieting. It is perhaps possible Barbara is suffering from a specific disease, like [[Wikipedia:Diabeeties|Diabeeties]], especially considering [[Mcdonalds|all]] [[restaurants|the crap]] the Chandlers are known to eat (although there is no physical evidence to this claim).

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, however "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites, where he would die in the hospital.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating Education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

I Got A Fish

2012-09-04T01:34:08Z

TRUEandHONESTuser: /* Video */

In the '''"I Got A Fish"''' video, [[Chris]] jog-dances in place while a stupid song full of [[random access humor]] that he made up plays in the background. Despite his claims, he does not actually have a fish.

The video is one of the few cases where the mainstream [[Chris in the media|''media'']] [[Toucher and Rich Segment|got in]] [[For G4s Web Soup|on it]].

{{quote|Welcome to the David Lynch movie of your nightmares. | WBCN, hitting the nail on the head.}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = I Got A Fish
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6DDOeNMWBQk}}
| stardate = 27 [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]
| next = [[Power]]
}}
=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Tardfish.png|thumb|right|A true sturgeon with rage]]

[''song is delivered via voice-over as Chris mutely jog-dances in place holding a [[PS3]] controller'']

:I got a fish!
:Would ya like to make a wish?

:I got a fish!
:Would ya like to make a wish?

:I got a ''fiiiiiiiiish!'' [''spreads arms wide to accompany wobbly falsetto'']
:Would ya like to make a ''wish?'' [''poses like a [[homo]]'']

== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = I got a fish! Animated
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jxlY0uvYzQE}}
| stardate = 14 [[June 2011]]
| maker = festivus31
| subject =
| type = Animation
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"]]|nextlink=[[Power]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]

Retroactive continuity in Sonichu

2012-09-02T01:55:25Z

TRUEandHONESTuser:

[[Image:RainbowChrisBeforeAfter.jpg|right|thumb|300px|[[Love Quest|It]] looks just as [[Homos|gay]] as it did before, except more [[Autism|retarded]]. Chris suddenly becomes [[obesity|skinnier]], gets [[anime]]-style eyes, and develops an obvious [[duck|crotch bulge]]. It's also quite funny to note that Chris saying his "love quest is over" while in heaven implies that he died and can not continue his quest while dead.]]
[[Chris]], thinking himself to be clever and believing he can change things without other people noticing, has extensively '''[[Wikipedia:Retroactive continuity|retconned]]''' the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu canon]].

==Background==
In the case of names, Chris changed them on the advice of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Jay Z]] who told Chris that they can't make a game with the names of real people. Despite finding out that they were [[trolls]], Chris has kept the name changes [[Chris and his ego|"just in case"]] Nintendo or Sega decides to pick up the game.

Some changes are a result of troll attacks, others comes from Chris's [[homos|homophobia]] and attempts to make himself appear as a [[Racism|tolerant]] and [[Pedofork|law abiding]] person. Black Sonichu became [[Blake]] after Chris was accused of being a racist. More notably, the iconic [[Sonichu Balls]] which play a major role in the latter comics have become Sonichu ''Crystals'' after [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] and trolls pointed out that it's pretty gay for him to want to get as many BALLS as he can to FREE him. Likewise, the infamous "Rainbow Chris" image from [[Sonichu_1#Sub-Episode_2:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22The_Rise_.26_Fall_of_My_Heart.22|Sub-Episode 2]] was changed to a background of the gates of Heaven when pointed out that [[rainbow]]s are the international symbol of gay pride.

Another, far more minor, retcon that Chris has done, is the updating of the [[Rosechu]]s' [[Rule 34|"feminine physique"]]. In several places, most notably in [[Sonichu 8]], many of the female characters have had their boobies and [[china]] more prominently outlined. This is probably a desperate attempt made by Chris to STAY STRAIGHT in the face of all those [[Gay4Sonichu|homosexual college professors]] using his [[Sonichu]] to support gay pride.

Chris has also altered the storyline in several places, such as the birth of Sonichu (explaining that they have aged in real time in the comics, due to criticisms that 16 year old [[Sonichu]] was having sex with a 15 year old Rosechu) and later adding that Sonichu and Rosechu got married, which would have justified their sex in Sonichu 8 (though Chris still fails to account that Rosechu would have been 17 when the two would have been married, which would still be statutory rape under [[wikipedia:Ages of_consent in North_America#Virginia|Virginia law]]). Pressed to make peace with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Chris on [[CWCipedia]] wrote a new story about how Slaweel and Mary Lee Walsh are two separate people which defeats the purpose of needing a separate name for a separate Mary Lee Walsh. However, in the [[Videobooks]], Chris accidentally used the name "Mary Lee Walsh" on several occasions before quickly correcting himself with "Slaweel Ryam".

Chris has also changed [[Sonichu 5#Alternate versions|the ending to Sonichu 5, episode 13]], where the original shows him and [[Megan]] hugging on page 50 followed by a disclaimer at the bottom of page 51 where Rosechu "sets the record straight" by making it clear that the hug "didn't happen for real". Likely due to Megan telling Chris to back off, page 50 was replaced with a closeup of [[Sailor Megtune]]'s face where she whines about how bad she feels for Chris and Rosechu's speech was changed to simply a white box with the words "to be continued...". Interestingly, the version of the comics Chris has posted to [[CWCipedia]] reflects the original, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_51 with both the hug and Rosechu's disclaimer intact], whereas the [[Sonichu 5 Official Videobook#Episode 13|videobook version of episode 13]] is the alternate one, with the grotesque closeup of Sailor Megtune's face and the edited page 51. In [[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|MyBuzz quizzes]], Chris flat out points out that there is a difference between the "director's cut" and the other version.

Aside from retconning his own work, Chris also frequently attempts to "improve" the work of others. This mostly manifests itself in renaming of characters: [[Megan]]'s character [[Megagi]] was originally called "Spunky Skunk", [[Ivy]]'s [[Layla Flaaffy]] was originally called "Luckett[e]", etc. In the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]] Chris takes things in another direction by trying to "fix" a [[troll|fan's]] vastly superior artwork by redrawing it and making extremely minor changes. The most blatant moment, however, is in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris tries to rewrite the world of [[Asperchu]] to be substantially more one-dimensional and boring. This stems from his [[autistic|retarded]] belief that cartoon characters are real (as in, [[Chris and Reality|they literally exist on another plane of existence and the events in the comics have actual consequences]]) and he believes that he needs to "fix" his characters, lest the comics drawn by others somehow change them.

Chris has also attempted to retcon the actual events of his life, whenever convenient. While it's likely that many of the stories Chris tells of himself are fabrications or exaggerations, there is little evidence to support either theory. What can be proven, though, is Chris's alterations to his [[CWCipedia]] article for [[Simonla]], which originally stated (correctly) that the character was a derivative of [[Evan]]'s character, Simonchu. After Evan started to take legal action against Chris for his [[Chris and Copyright|misappropriation of the character]], Chris simply edited the page to claim otherwise. He claimed that, in fact, Simonla was ''not'' based on Simonchu, and their myriad of similarities was entirely coincidental. He had simply credited Evan for the character because he was [[autistic|confused]].

In order to not appear as a [[Pedofork]] for drawing Rule 34 involving the [[Chaotic Combo]] and [[Silvana]], Chris retconned the birthdates by stating that the eggs traveled in time to 1989.<ref>The [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
[[File:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right| "I'm not a pedofork you dorks!"]]

Chris has also attempted to retcon the name origin of Sonichu as seen in [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], where he states that Sonichu's name is NOT a portmanteau of Sonic and Pikachu like it has been "rumored", but rather a play on Sonic's "Japanese" name "Soniku"''[sic]''.

==Name changes==
The follow is a comprehensive list of name changes:

<center>
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Before
!align="left"|After
|-
|[[Bagget]]
|Dagget
|-
|Black Sonichu/Blachu
|[[Blake]]
|-
|[[CADD Chef]]
|Keneru-Meneth -CADD Chef-
|-
|[[Hanna]]
|Fandanna
|-
|[[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]]
|"Joe Cool" Smithey
|-
|[[Joseph Herring]]
|Joe Herr
|-
|[[Megan]]
|Meg-chan
|-
|[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
|Slaweel Ryam, Slaweel the Witch
|-
|[[Merried Seinor Comic]]/Kirby
|Merried Seinor Comic
|-
|[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]
|[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCCitizens]]
|-
|[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
|<s>Prowldent Virginia Community College</s> Percham Virginia Community College
|-
|[[Sarah Hammer]]
|Nicole Rammer
|-
|[[Sonichu Balls]]
|<s>Sonichu Crystals</s>, <s>Sonichu Ball Crystals</s>, Chaotic Crystals
|-
|[[wikipedia:Trojan Condoms|Trojan]]
|Jimmy
|-
|[[Wes Iseli]]
|Walter Grisby
|}
</center>

==Gallery of Retcons==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|Apparently, the evil [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|Mary Lee Walsh]] was Slaweel all along!
Image:Schu1SubEp2 FandannaRetcon.JPG|Not only does Chris's edit have the name stretch into the black section of the monitor, but he's also forgotten to change [[Hanna]]'s name in another paragraph.
Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|The infamous "Sailor Asscheeks"; [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], page 50
Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|Revised page 50.
Image:Sonichu-6_notsow.jpg|''Sonichu'' #5, page 30: NOTSOW
Image:SchuComic7Page30.jpg|NOTSEW
Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|Chris changes [[Megan]] to Meg-chan, [[Chris and English#Spelling|but doesn't take the opportunity to correct "Dood" to "Good".]]
Image:Schu7 Pg3 MeganMLWEdit.JPG|Does he really think that 'Slaweel Ryam' and 'Meg-chan' are going to fool anyone?
Image:Chris-Straw-Retcon.JPG|The infamous [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] as later appeared on the [[CWCipedia]]. It looks just as stupid, only slightly smaller. Somehow it looks even more like he's sucking a dick than before.
Image:Schu7P23-JosephRetcon.JPG|[[Joseph Herring|Friends]] and [[Cole Smithey|family]] also get their names changed.
Image:ZEMTITS.jpg|HE LOVES BOOBIES TOO
Image:Schu8P5-A CameraRetcon.JPG|Rosechu, failing to look even remotely sexy with that [[Autism|retarded]] expression, gets edited out of a camera picture.
Image:Schu7Page37 NameEdits.JPG|See if you can spot the differences.
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

== Links ==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/ An archive with the non-retconned Sonichu comics (Scroll to the bottom)]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Comic]]