https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=TarsTarkasCWCki - User contributions [en]2026-04-27T06:44:10ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.37.6https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Britney_Spears&diff=161017Britney Spears2012-06-18T00:20:27Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:BritneySpears.jpg|thumb|Britney cosplaying [[Officer Nasty]].]]<br />
<br />
{{Quote|I enjoy HER BODY and HER VOICE; She is among my Top 3 Women Celebrities who I Would Love To Fuck|I'm sure she's glad to hear that, Chris.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Britney Spears''' (born 2 December [[1981]]) is an [[American]] singer and favorite [[music]] star of [[Christian Weston Chandler]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#More Information About Myself]]</ref> Much like Chris, she has a tendency to make a complete jackass of herself by appearing in [[Nudes|unflattering photos]].<br />
<br />
When playing a game of ''[[Pokémon]]'' with [[Lucas]], Chris sang along to Britney songs the entire time.<ref>Lucas in post 17272</ref><br />
<br />
After [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] grew up and became hot, Chris labeled her a "spittin' image of Britney Spears,"<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years]]</ref> but only because she was blonde (since we all know how good Chris is with facial recognition). <br />
<br />
==Britney and Chris's sexuality==<br />
[[Image:Britneyspears-7130.jpg|thumb|left|And we see where he got the [[Lovely Weather|whale-tail idea...]]]]<br />
<br />
It is unlikely that Chris is a fan of Spears solely because of her music. He uses her as a method of proving his heterosexuality, as seen in [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|this video]]. On 10 June 2009, Chris once again relied on Britney Spears to prove his "straightness" when he favorited several of her music videos on his [[YouTube]] account. His attempt backfired when the account was promptly hacked and filled with [[gay]] propaganda videos. (It is not confirmed if this really was Chris, but it probably was.)<br />
<br />
The entire process of Chris using Britney to prove his straightness is ironic, as Britney Spears is a beloved icon among [[Homos]]; when [[Vivian Gee]] pointed this out [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010#2 January|in an e-mail on why others believe him to be gay]], Chris counterclaimed this by saying that "I enjoy [[Women's Rights|HER BODY]] and HER VOICE."<br />
<br />
==Britney and Chris's past==<br />
Chris's obsession with Britney might also simply have to do with timing. She was extremely popular in America during the late '90s, when Chris was growing up, and so he might be fond of her music simply for the nostalgia factor — it reminds him of a time when his life was much happier. His interest in her most likely started because all of his friends were girls and all girls back then loved Britney. This would give Chris the opportunity to be [[Tomgirl Pictures|"one of the girls."]] <br />
<br />
==Tributes==<br />
[[Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|For the record, Britney's marriage only lasted twelve hours.|thumb]]<br />
<br />
* He sang along to Britney while playing ''[[Pokémon]]'' in [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref><br />
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] performed a cover of Britney's [[Wikipedia:(You Drive Me) Crazy|"(You Drive Me) Crazy"]] called "[[Feel So Lonesome]]", with the lyrics changed so that the song is [[Ego|all about Chris]].<br />
*Near the end of the [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008]] video, Chris's cellphone rings with a "(You Drive Me) Crazy" ringtone.<br />
* When it came time to do Round 3 of the [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_3|''SingStar'' Challenge]], Chris chose to "sing" over her B-Side [[Wikipedia:...Baby One More Time (song)|"Autumn Goodbye"]].<br />
* He also played [[Wikipedia:Blackout (Britney Spears album)|"Heaven on Earth"]] on his [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_6:_.233|fake radio broadcast]].<br />
* In his [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|ultimate, irrefutable proof that he is STRAIGHT]] (and completely \m/ metal \m/), Chris put a portrait of Britney on the wall, labeled simply "Oops!" (in reference to [[Wikipedia:Oops!... I Did It Again|"Oops!... I Did It Again"]]).<br />
* He bought the crappy video game ''[[Wikipedia:Britney Spears products|Britney's Dance Beat]]''.<ref>[[List of Chris's games]]</ref><br />
* He quoted Britney's debut hit when [[100 2270|impersonating Alec Christopher Benson Paul Leary Whitney]], saying "Hey, baby, hit me one more time!"<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Spears, Britney}}<br />
[[Category:People]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Guitar_Hero&diff=160625Guitar Hero2012-05-22T04:03:51Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{taxpayermoney}}<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|gpDNSgu7NfM}}</center><br />
<br />
[[Image:Chrisguitarhero.png|thumb|Chris, as he imagines himself to look.]]<br />
[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|thumb|Chris, as he is in reality]]<br />
<br />
'''''Guitar Hero''''' is a rhythm action video game where one uses a guitar-shaped controller to activate the notes of a song as they scroll up the screen, similar to ''Dance Dance Revolution'' and its dance pad controller.<br />
<br />
==History==<br />
Chris owns a ''Dance Dance Revolution'' set-up, as well as other popular music games like [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'']]. While ''DDR'' and even many Wii games would involve actual movement, possibly even vaguely resembling actual exercise, ''Guitar Hero'' remains the only game which [[Chris]] has mentioned using for exercise, despite the fact that ''DDR'' has an exercise mode. Specifically, Chris has stated several times that ''Guitar Hero'' is good for his health, because he has to stand up to play it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag #2]]</ref> Because standing still and pressing buttons on a plastic guitar is far less strenuous than singing or jumping up and down on a dance pad or even waving [[Wii Remote of Fail|poorly painted controllers]] around, Chris has taken a particular liking to ''Guitar Hero'', and has made references to it several times throughout his many works.<br />
<br />
Data from his [[PlayStation Network]] account reveals that Chris has spent nearly $500 downloading new songs to play in various ''Guitar Hero'' games. By comparison, he's spent a little more than $50 on downloads for its closest rival in the music game market, ''Rock Band''.<br />
<br />
Chris appears to show some decent skill level in ''Guitar Hero'' games. Even when [[Asperchu|rivals]] poke fun at conspiracies behind mysterious orange notes (if you catch their drift), Chris has been able to survive songs on hard difficulty, as shown in the videos. Sneakily enough, he just says the expert difficulty "is good"<ref>[[Common Questions#07 January 2010|Common Questions, 7 January 2010]]</ref> &mdash; so far, we don't know if he ''routinely'' plays on expert or not.<br />
<br />
==Delusion==<br />
Here in the real world, people think ''Guitar Hero'' is the most awesome music game ever, one that really makes you feel like a rock star...until they ''play'' it, at which point they realize that they're mashing buttons on a plastic guitar. Actual guitarists have said that ''Guitar Hero'' doesn't help you learn to play guitar and have themselves struggled playing the game — they said they needed to first forget everything about how to play guitar. Even the most oblivious people should see that a guitar fretboard looks nothing like the guitar controller's buttons.<br />
<br />
Chris, however, seems to believe that playing ''Guitar Hero'' is a feat on par with playing a real guitar. For example, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris takes his PS3 and Gitar of Fail with him on his band tour. During [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], he also explains that [[Blanca]] plays the ''Guitar Hero'' for [[Jiggliami]]'s band, which implies that the band only performs covers of songs from the games. In the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]], Chris specifically forbade the use of real instruments as well as ''Guitar Hero'' guitars. In what may be the most mind-blowing example yet, Chris dismissed a real, actual, non-video-game-controller guitar as a [[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July|"Wooden Nickel"]].<br />
<br />
We can only wonder what ''exactly'' was going through his head when he shredded with mad apathy in [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the notorious music video]], and wonder whether or not he can tell his "guitar" doesn't actually make any sounds besides clacking of plastic in [[100 2266|"Don't Laugh at Me"]].<br />
<br />
The ''Guitar Hero'' games, later entries in particular, base themselves around the idea that rock music can do anything, as seen in classic rock videos and album covers. Chris has seemingly taken inspiration from this for his comics, such as [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he uses the Power of Rock to demolish the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building.<br />
<br />
==Sonichu and Chris-chan in ''Guitar Hero World Tour''==<br />
<br />
On 27 October [[2008]], Chris uploaded a video showing off the custom ''[[Sonichu]]'' crap that he added to the game. As in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays himself as thin and fit. While this is partly due to the fact that that game doesn't have an "unpleasant, fat" character model, it would still be possible for Chris to give his in-game self some degree of huskiness if he had any sense of his personal appearance.<br />
<br />
{{tinyquote|I've created the Sonichu Band Icon from scratch, as well as my Character and Guitar. Enjoy the further testaments of my capabilities and creativity in tune to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." Also, I am up in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|the "Auditions" on Gamestop.com]]; please Vote for [[:Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|my Rockin' Picture]] to get me as a Playable Character with Sonichu & Rosechu in my Band in a Future Guitar Hero Game.|Original video description, 27 October 2008}}<br />
<br />
==Bandmates==<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|150px|Music is just another way to get [[china]] for Chris.]]<br />
: ''See also: [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]''<br />
<br />
Video games are no longer the passive form of entertainment they used to be — they're also a breeding ground for the creativity of the gamers. Like all enthusiastic gamers, Chris unleashes the full force of his creativity and puts a lot of thought into his video game play to get maximum satisfaction out of these games. Unfortunately, this is obviously not going to work as well as it does for some other, more gifted people.<br />
<br />
''Guitar Hero'' games allow great degree of fun but ultimately useless fiddling that doesn't actually help the game, such as creating virtual band members. In yet another feeble attempt to prove he's not a [[homo]], Chris's bandmates are all women, because what [[Gal-pal|girl]] wouldn't want to jam with the [[Autistic|artistic]] genius that is CWC? He also picked some very odd names for these characters, with the [[Niggos|black one]] oddly getting a [[Jew]]ish surname.<br />
<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:ZuriAlryte.jpg|'''Zuri Alryte''': She ''may'' have a charming personality, but until she ''shows'' it, people will only remember the [[duck|waterfowl]]-up-the-skirt picture.<br />
Image:KieraBei.jpg|'''Kiera Bei''': No doubt a lady of diverse emotions, ''all of them'' expressed ''at the same time'' on her face.<br />
Image:JodyZimmerman.jpg|'''Jody Zimmerman''': Without the Rule 34 pic, we'd have no idea if she was even really a woman.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
Though this might not seem too ridiculous at first glance, two facts make it worse. First, the first we heard of these bandmates was through a leaked Rule 34 picture. Among fiction writers, blatantly pornographic imagery is hardly considered the best way to introduce new characters to the world (though some may argue it's probably the most profitable). Chris drew himself having sex with these virtual women, and proceeded to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|video]] about it, announcing it as a testament to his straightness.<br />
<br />
Secondly, he seems to be a little bit too preoccupied with the idea, to the point that people are starting to think he ''really believes'' he bonked these nonexistent chicks.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Would I be having sex with THREE WOMEN?!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|forgetting ''Guitar Hero'' is a video game and those women are fictional]]}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
*[[Gitar of Fail]]<br />
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://hub.guitarhero.com/profile-display?id=1588 His ''Guitar Hero'' stats.]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_health&diff=160624Chris and health2012-05-22T03:58:06Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris's [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]<br />
<br />
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to bathe, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, and [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]].<br />
<br />
==Nutrition==<br />
{{main|Obesity}}<br />
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]<br />
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]<br />
Chris is a known fast food-lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to four times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely.<br />
<br />
Chris claims that he cooks for himself four or five days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cook books.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video (an incredibly basic dish), he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwavable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.<br />
<br />
Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[Coca-Cola|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:<br />
<br />
* '''Breakfast:''' Usually nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.<br />
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.<br />
* '''Dinner:''' Eat out with family (fast food) or poorly cooked/microwave meal.<br />
<br />
In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.<br />
<br />
According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other foods of any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7|Kacey Call #7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general.<br />
<br />
In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.<br />
<br />
It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Places where Chris likes to eat===<br />
* [[Country Cookin]]<br />
* [[McDonald's]]<br />
* [[Golden Corral]] (Has closed its doors in Charlottesville)<br />
* [[Chick-fil-A]]<br />
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]<br />
<br />
==Exercise==<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center><br />
<br />
{{quote|[…] while my body is [[I AM STRONG|Strong]] and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].<br />
<br />
When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere thirty seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.<br />
<br />
During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.<br />
<br />
Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.<br />
<br />
In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles (8&nbsp;km) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Hygiene==<br />
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]<br />
<br />
Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as long as a week at a stretch. The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his low quality videos. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his hair, which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man.<br />
<br />
Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities such as bathing or showering, even if briefly. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.<br />
<br />
Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems have become more severe in recent years.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Vision==<br />
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered [[Manchester High School|high school]]. However, in the twenty-something years he has been wearing the glasses, they have done nothing to correct his eyesight. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. Nobody will know, as Chris prefers to use his [[monthly tugboat]] on vidya games rather than on [[Chris and reality|getting his eyes checked]] or perhaps [[Chris and Fashion|wearing the appropriate-sized glasses for his prescription]]. His glasses are often fogged and [[dirty crapped briefs|dirty]], which will not help to correct his vision. It is possible that Chris's glasses are only for reading, as Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video. <br />
<br />
One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004. <br />
<br />
Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive (it could also have something to do with the fact that Chris is [[Autism|disabled]], however, his disability seemingly does not affect his driving abilities). Whether his vision contributed to the [[Sonchu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.<br />
<br />
==Dental health==<br />
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]<br />
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.<br />
<br />
Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[My Coke Rewards|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Mental health==<br />
<br />
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.<br />
<br />
The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.<br />
<br />
His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and [[rainbow]]s. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris remaining a [[virgin]] until very recently, and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Whether or not Chris's encounter with a prostitute will affect his self-perception and maturity has yet to be seen. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]]. <br />
<br />
He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:<br />
<br />
* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.<br />
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].<br />
<br />
Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]<br />
<br />
==Sexual health==<br />
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease]), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive and Chris has other, more important, things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.<br />
<br />
In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref><br />
<br />
:'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].<br />
<br />
Of course, with the possible revelation that he slept with a hooker in [[April 2012]], he may have to check himself once again.<br />
<br />
==Other deformities==<br />
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]<br />
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].<br />
<br />
His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent.<br />
<br />
[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Autism]]<br />
*[[Obesity]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
{{Chris and}}</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Father_Call&diff=160242Father Call2012-05-10T23:34:55Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Chris blows it, but he's an American! */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]<br />
<br />
On the fourth of [[November 2009|November, 2009]], [[Chris|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''[[Troll|Matthew Devoria]]''' (born [[1957]]), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is apparently a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]].<br />
<br />
Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father.<br />
<br />
Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], inability to grow up, [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], and general failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].<br />
<br />
After being berated with insults for two hours, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].<br />
<br />
Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which ended equally poorly.<br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious sounding claims about his weight-lifting prowess. Kacey doesn't bother to question Chris on these claims, and instead hand the phone over to her father, Matthew.<br />
* Matthew is fairly civil toward Chris to begin with, though it's immediately obvious that Matthew doesn't have much respect for him. Matthew begins by calling out Chris on his underwhelming employment record, and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a Pokemon Gym Leader seriously.<br />
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding [[monthly tugboat]]. Matthew asks if any hypothetical children of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic (or "'tard babies" to use Matthew's phrasing), and while Chris denies that they would be, Matthew checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris [[lie]]s during the call, and while Matthew goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous when Chris does it again.<br />
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named Crystal. Not only does Matthew consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be blasphemous, he doesn't even like Crystal as a name and thinks it's more appropriate for a stripper.<br />
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey for her looks, Chris is questioned on why [[Liquid Chris]] (who Matthew will sing the praises of many times during the call) was impersonating him. Solid Chris's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with Sonichu. Matthew is at first completely bewildered as to why Chris is spending so much time on Sonichu, before using it to make the point that Chris has completely failed to move on from his teenage years.<br />
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matthew brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers|Chris's little 9/11 video]], and says that he found it especially offensive, since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center that day. Chris's only response is to say the video was really [[Clyde Cash]]'s fault, because he was being mean to Chris.<br />
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matthew tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like," but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, including having to pull up weeds, mow the lawn, move furniture, and bury his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matthew is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother.<br />
* Chris doesn't let the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working discourage him, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pitying whining severely annoy Matthew, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]] in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he won't come to D.C. to meet Kacey.<br />
* Matthew accuses Chris of acting like a child, and mentions his tour of [[14 Branchland Court]] as proof that Chris is lazy and unwilling to take responsibility. Chris just tries to blame [[Barb]] for not helping him, causing Matthew to sarcastically comment on his lack of maturity, only for Chris to miss the sarcasm and think Matthew is actually agreeing with him.<br />
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, Chris tries to compare the effort of tidying his house with the effort Matthew spent carrying his dead colleague back to base. Matthew is ''furious'' at this comparison, and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father.<br />
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matthew to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''... and then starts describing the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a vaguely correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story.<br />
* Matthew says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat, and Chris ''completely'' misses the point and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Needless to say, Matthew thoroughly mocks Chris's lack of basic comprehension skills, and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising in order to prove his obviously false claims of being healthy.<br />
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey and a child on his monthly tugboat and a minimum wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matthew points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matthew off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her advice.<br />
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle, and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be eighty-four per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by this, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.<br />
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American born and bred. Matthew points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, true patriots don't make videos mocking 9/11.<br />
* Matthew decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11. Matthew tells Chris that he must be [[naive]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of the word "naive" and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room. At least until Matthew reminds him which of the two was formerly in the USMC, causing Chris to quickly backtract on his threats.<br />
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his Elementary School principal and teachers. This is probably yet another attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.<br />
* Matthew brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriately "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads into Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" to be a cast-iron rule, rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.<br />
* Chris abruptly attempts to end the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit; Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up, big time.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
===Matthew makes the scene===<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Hey Chris, it's Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hi Kacey, how are you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, fifty-pound weights...not really weights, but...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm, so it's a total of 102.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Hm. Well, was it hard?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad, because he wants to talk to you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Matthew? Okay.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> All right.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> All right well just give me a minute.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br />
[''Pause'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hello, s- good evening, sir, how are you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm good, thank you. How are you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm doing good.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Good, good... So, uh... So, I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an- with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see... You got a job, son?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling out applications left and right.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, w- yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for, like, uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]... I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off, I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you're working at...''Target''... I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean...surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm 27...sir.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm...yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know... but I mean, if I- if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... I graduated in 2006.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> 2006, so you've had it for three years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?<br />
<br />
===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I had- I did- I have done volunteer work... Uh...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> All right, yeah, well, I have the- I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens' Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading [[Card games|Card Game]] league a few years back...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And...how long ago was this?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, what was that?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That was the late 90s.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> LATE 90s.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And- um- that's still going strong. Maybe I-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> If you say so.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ...And I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. So about ten years I've been doing that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Right. You've been playing a children's card game for ten years.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ...Yeah, but also, like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Babysitting... but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? And, I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I have- I have been- I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that, I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Right, right... Well, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pok-e-man'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah... I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for a while.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And, uh, why is that exactly?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though... I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay so...uh-<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my- of the house.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ...With her help?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ...And get a place of my own...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You need her help in order to support both of you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''floundering''] It's more like, you know...um... Some details I'm not understand... I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's not really an excuse.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know...I keep between myself...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So, but I mean really, if you can't s-s- If you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am a man, sir.<br />
<br />
===Financial Situation and Crystal the 'Tard-baby===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> How serious are you about my daughter?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Do you now?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Are you now?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> A myth. A myth.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar... I can promise you that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Anything else, Dad?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go... What were you doing again?<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Anyways, where was I? Let's see... If you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]]. <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> An office job. Right.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> It's still pretty close.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.<br />
<br />
===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That sounds like being a prophet to me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible. <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yes, but.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Well, MAKE it happen.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am going to.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, it is.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Right.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.<br />
<br />
===Kacey's boobs and Internet fame===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I noticed her beautiful face.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Her beautiful face.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ''[extremely uncomfortable laughter]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> She didn't like that much.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> My friend [[Kim]], she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But fads, they come and go.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh... <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- I- I understand that.<br />
<br />
===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN. <br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font>You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11. <br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You made a video...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the Internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway, <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day. <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font>No, no I'm not changing-<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Are you just making shit up now?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> WHY?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Emotional differences. <br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''heavy sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.<br />
<br />
===Maturity, and [[chores]]===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This is ridiculous.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You don't know what physical pain feels like...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, so what do you play with?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmph.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Guitar Hero.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What the hell is that?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughs in disbelief'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It was very heavy! I carried that thing.<br />
<br />
===Death and fake Internet women===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Yeah, my...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not calling your mother a dog.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Sounds like you're fucking with me now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''heavy sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> BE A MAN...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And how many of these women have you gone through?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I, I, I, I... [''angry, incoherent stammering'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But you're in...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I am not convinced.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''snapping''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!<br />
<br />
===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not a child, I am a MAN. [[I AM STRONG|I am a STRONG MAN]]. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, sometimes my memory fails me!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> They're not just chores! They're not just chores.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're a pack rat too.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I...oh! And you don't think...!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This is kids' stuff.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not mocking you!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Is this...are you comparing...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't know even know what to say to this!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...<br />
<br />
===Kacey returns===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Oh, what's up, daddy?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> He's WHAT?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This guy has nothing to offer you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have plenty to offer her!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Like what?!<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I already don't like...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''heavy sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> What are you doing?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well...yeah...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Apologize!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''massive stress sigh'']<br />
===Literature and health===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really? What was the last book you read?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's high-school shit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I call it adult drama.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> An adult drama.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So what exactly did you learn from this book?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''long pause''] I... have... learned... that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, the what?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I... I've read it, about a month ago.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> A month ago.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I eat and drink healthy.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, no, I...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?<br />
<br />
[[Image:208x228 Advice-CWC-I-JOG-FIVE-MILES-A-DAY.jpg|thumb|Yep!]]<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yep!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's a brisk jog.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You're...[''angry sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after... that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> WARRIORS, WARRIORS...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm a Marine. Not after... a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but... how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe... maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Fifteen minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, that's good.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't... you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You can?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You barely know what a Windows is?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Don't...[''sputters'']... don't patronize me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like... half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, I will.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughs'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But I...<br />
<br />
===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have... you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't think so.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh, yes I am!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I say that because it's true.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't think so.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You do not think so...you may not think so...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I mean, I would much rather believe him...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966"> '''Matthew:'''</font> But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What kind of job?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And how would you know? You don't have a job!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That wasn't minimum wage.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Don't lie to me. Look...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not lying to you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''heavy sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> What's wrong now, Daddy?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What's this he's talking about... minimum wage is $7.25, right?<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Don't argue with me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright.<br />
===Respect and listening skills===<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> He's always been... he's been disrespectful this whole time.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> I just don't understand.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't understand either.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I can't say I'm in full understanding either. <br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> One-faced side of bullshit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''heavy sigh'']<br />
<br />
'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I'm speechless at the moment.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This is... this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> W... well, I'm sorry she's upset.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you... you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you are lucky her mother isn't here.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And I pro-, and I send... I promise you. I have not been lying.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.<br />
<br />
===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That is not my life.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Isn't it?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You just met me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am, I am happy to admit my faults.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision. <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> O... kay?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's... that's not gonna burn calories.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Thirty minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Four hours of television.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> In a day.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> How long... do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And play... okay, how much do you play video games?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> About two hours in a day.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Two hours a day.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> My heart rate has been, has been good.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''chuckles'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I can guarantee that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Do you even know what you're talking about?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, I do, I am talking...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Do you even know how to check your heart rate?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes I do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, how?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Where do you check for your pulse?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> About seventy-two beats per minute.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Seventy-two beats per minute.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> To about a hundred beats per minute.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Eighty-four from just sitting around?<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. It is.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Hmph.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Yeah.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have been going less.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> It's not like I didn't... less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Or any fast food!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> She's gone again.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''stress sigh'']<br />
<br />
===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> She was pretty, ah... Let's say you just blew it, man. She was— She was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''deep sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmph. Well...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, you're talking about— Yes, you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's my response— That's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel— I just feel very sad for her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about— You should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, ''really'' turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, fifty pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, ''maybe''.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do keep my promises.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like...a set of tits and ass.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly...as a friend...a true friend, a good friend...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That doesn't sound like it at all.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You don't know. I mean...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I do know, because she talks to me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well... Points of view.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve me.]]<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have a functioning image...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I...am an [[United_States_of_America|''American'']]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am ''strong'']]. I am an individual...<br />
<br />
[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Don't tell— Don't tell me you're an American.<br />
<br />
[''Portal'' can again be heard]<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You can't tell me you're patriotic... If you were patriotic, you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't...do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I— At least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am. I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video and making the apology.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans, too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.<br />
<br />
===Chris's love and memory===<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's a lie. You haven't done shit.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't... that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I bet you don't even love Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do love Kacey!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...[[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [[The Wallflower|No!]]<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Her favorite color is "tarquoise".<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Turquoise? That's... that's wrong.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, favorite flower.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Aha. Really.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> The grandma.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> My grandma?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Her grandmother.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Who is?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You did not mention her name.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> No... [''exasperated sigh''] ... no, okay, her grandmother, who is...?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Your mother.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.<br />
<br />
===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, talking to a what?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> A preschooler. God. This is... man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... [[naïve]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What line?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A line. You crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What're you gonna do about it?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Nothing at the moment.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> "Nothing at the moment?"<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well. I would be able to defend myself.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So you would hit Kacey?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I would not hit Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Have you ever defended yourself?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have defended myself.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you... I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Making... mistakes...?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> My mouth does not go faster than my mind.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What are you even...?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because it's insulting my intelligence.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What line did I cross exactly?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[Chris and anger|anger]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Look it up in the dictionary.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli... what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Webster's.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.<br />
<br />
===Experience and respect===<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''chuckles'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have had twenty-seven years of experience.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> The hell are you talking about?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... this is ridiculous.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do not belong in a mental... if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay then.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you... and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have, I have...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I show Kacey a lot of respect.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You probably don't even respect her as a person...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do res...I do respect her as a person!<br />
<br />
===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because I was nervous at the time!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I'm sorry too.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Did you try to kiss her?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not saying that. I am not saying that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> She was sharing her perfumes with me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't think so.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> TRIED.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> ''Really''? <br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Truly.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> In my lifetime? [[Hambeast|Only one]].<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Only one.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Before you met Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That one date was back in, was last June.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You can't think of... I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean... I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You paid for her. And how much was that?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That was about $10.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> $10.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's... $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You even know how much you're supposed to tip.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> About 15% or 20%.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I tipped a buck fifty.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Really. <br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm... let's see... that would be about $12.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You could at least... they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well... good for them.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You've given me nothing.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It does exist.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It is not.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well, what can you...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You need to be better. Not say you could be better.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.<br />
<br />
===Endgame===<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's... that's...<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, she told me she made that for me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Oh, no she didn't.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh yes she did!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I'll have to check with her on that.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because she told me so herself!<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''More silence''] I see.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?! <br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> [''Cracks the fuck up'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Heavy sigh'']<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I guess...maybe I did.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the Hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I can so.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the [[stress|STRESS]]. I can't do this. I want a real man.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry. <br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> He's not, Chris, screw this.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.<br />
<br />
<font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:'''</font> I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.<br />
<br />
<font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''</font> So...what are you gonna do now?<br />
<br />
[''Tape runs out'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
<!-- *[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Y1N7JXQ3 mp3 of phonecall] BALEETED DUE TO MEGAUPLOAD BEING, WELL, BALEETED SO TO SPEAK --><br />
*[[Niggo|Niggo-rigged]] audio ripped & combined from YouTube vids in [http://db.tt/vNbYguZ0 OGG] or [http://db.tt/akLWEieq MP3]<br />
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SKLGsJC6R0 the call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]<br />
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=JenkinsJinkies&diff=160241JenkinsJinkies2012-05-10T23:01:43Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Junior Jenkins''', alias '''JenkinsJinkies''' (born 16 July [[1995]]), was Chris's [[Disguises|trollsona]] from [[May 2010|May]] to [[August 2010]].<br />
<br />
==CWCki==<br />
[[image:Fatjenkins.jpg|thumb|The great JenkinsJinkies.]]<br />
JenkinsJinkies began as another [[CWCki]] account, made by Chris to confirm that the antenna he had removed from his [[PS3]] wasn't a bug in [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|"PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked"]], a bait-page made by [[Clyde]]. It was quickly discovered that JenkinsJinkies was Chris and [[Trollin Train|appropriate action]] was taken soon afterwards. Clyde contacted Chris through JenkinsJinkies' [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|talk page]] and it resulted in a short correspondence between the two. <br />
<br />
{{quote|I lost my young virginity with a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor]] [[Kellie Andes|Cheerleader]]; her [[china]] was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an [[ED|Anon]], I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the [[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZ]] off of him.|JenkinsJinkies, the fourteen-year-old [[homos|sodomite]] who had gay sex at the age of seven and lost his [[virgin]]ity to a high school student beforehand; who also lives directly [[14 Branchland Ct.|across the street]] from Chris.}}<br />
<br />
As JenkinsJinkies, Chris created the bizarre [[Coffee Place]] page, an article which originally started off as a reported sighting of Chris in [[Burger King]] but quickly devolved into a rant against [[Amanda]], a part-time [[Manajerk|manager]] who seemingly irked Chris by not treating himself, [[Bob]], and other [[Merried Seinor Comic|"seinors"]] with the adequate respect Chris thought she should. How JenkinsJinkies was able to know all this information about Amanda after one visit and why he would care if she mistreated Bob or not was never to be explained by Chris.<br />
<br />
Chris believed playing a troll who was [[Chris and Reality|legitimately]] afraid of Chris's wrath would totally convince [[Clyde Cash]] himself that he was legit. He also unsuccessfully tried to scare the trolls into thinking he was plotting to hunt them down, one by one. Several [[/cwc/|lesser]] trolls believed they were the first ones to realize that JenkinsJinkies was Chris and blew the whistle every now and again, but such leaks were uncommon and generally most trolls played along.<br />
<br />
==Trollin Train==<br />
As the trolls began to tug on JenkinsJinkies' marionette strings, a [[Trollin Train|trolling forum]] entirely dedicated to making Chris paranoid was established. Despite all posts, members and threads being only a few days old, Chris was [[Naive|completely convinced]] that it was the official trolling hub, where all the nefarious plots made against him were conceived.<br />
<br />
As if it weren't obvious enough that Junior Jenkins was Chris, he also went out of his way to praise Chris for his ingenious schemes for halting the trolls' wicked plans and/or dissuade the trolls from even trying - often combining the two themes into the same post.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|JuniorJenkins, [[#Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 am)|Trollin Train]]}}<br />
<br />
Junior Jenkins also had run-ins with the ghosts of [[Patti Chandler]] and seven-year-old Christopher Chandler, as Chris inexplicably believed that trolls would be frightened by these events. They were not and Jenkins was roundly mocked.<br />
<br />
In another memorable event, Jenkins unsubtly asked for the numbers of the hookers [[Bryan Bash]] sent to Chris's house because Chris wanted sexy time.<br />
<br />
==PS3 Destruction==<br />
Trollin Train's most significant achievement came about when [[Surfshack Tito]] offered a number of "bounties" for achievements in trolling Chris, including a US$9,001 reward for anyone who could smash Chris's [[PS3]]. Due to a misinterpretation of Tito's criteria, Chris thought he could get the reward if ''he'' did the smashing and simply had Junior claim to witness it. The rest [[PS3#Destruction|is history]].<br />
<br />
Though Chris [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|did not]] receive the $9,001, he managed to raise the money to buy a new PS3 over the course of a few days.<br />
<br />
==The End==<br />
Chris decided to drop the JenkinsJinkies persona after his last post on TrollinTrain about witnessing Chris destroying his PS3. It was later revealed after the leaking of the [[Jackie Emails]] that Chris dropped the act in fear that when the police raided the Trollin Train forums they would mistake him for a troll and subsequently [[Chris and the Law|arrest him]]. Since it's now likely Chris has completely forgotten about his time as JJ, the Trollin Train forum has became inactive and all information has been freely published to the [[CWCki]].<br />
<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Trollin Train]]<br />
*[[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]]<br />
*[[Disguises]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris]]<br />
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Lovely_Weather&diff=149773Lovely Weather2011-10-04T21:39:54Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|<br />
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,<br />
Ring ting tingling, too<br />
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''<br />
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,<br />
Outside the snow is falling<br />
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"<br />
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''<br />
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem><br />
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html "Sleigh Ride" Lyrics]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, and how she's as tall as Chris...]]<br />
<br />
'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], ''Revenge of the Nerds''-style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic. <br />
<br />
Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! [[Chris and reality|Now it is.]] For the godless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]<br />
<br />
Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather is a relatively new character in the ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic, with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], we can expect more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future.<br />
<br />
She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.<br />
<br />
Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag 27|MTF transsexuals]].) As such, she could very well be a trans-woman. Others speculate that she has man shoulders because [[Chris and art|Chris can't draw.]]<br />
<br />
Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married, or even [[Hanky panky|laid]], by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor and a [[virgin with rage]].<br />
<br />
In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is not [[The Wallflower]] as a pseudonym. Given his [[Lies|past record of honesty]], the claim is doubtful at best.<br />
<br />
==Chris and time travel==<br />
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with [[Barbara|his mother]]. And entirely failed to inspire Chuck Berry.]]<br />
<br />
Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.<br />
<br />
For instance, the comic book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking [[4-cent]]. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)<br />
<br />
Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.<br />
<br />
There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.<br />
<br />
Listen closely, and you can hear H.G. Wells and William Hartnell spinning in their graves.<br />
<br />
==Statutory rape?==<br />
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the [[mailbag]]s, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, [[Kacey Phone Call|despite being tricked about who it was]], it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.<br />
<br />
==Meg Griffin affair==<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.<br />
<br />
She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also:==<br />
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]<br />
*[[Chris and Sex]]<br />
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]<br />
*[[Chloe]]<br />
<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Fangs&diff=136991Fangs2011-03-08T03:04:13Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:SHOW MAH FANGS!.jpg|center]]<br />
<br />
He has them and isn't [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|afraid to show them]].<br />
<br />
==The horror==<br />
Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor [[PSEye|video quality]], Chris's fangs are most likely yellowing as a result of the copious amounts of [[semen|soda]] he drinks.<ref>[[Biological clock]]</ref> The fact that he has [[Chris and health#Dental health|multiple visible cavities]] seems to support this, although Chris could just be far too lazy to brush his teeth. What is certain is that the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside.<br />
<br />
==Powers==<br />
Chris revealed his fangs by essentially jamming the camera in his mouth. For some reason he thinks this is an effective method of intimidating his [[Trolls|enemy]]. It works, but for reasons other than Chris had intended. [[The Creepy Stare|Close-ups of Chris's face]] have always caused people to back away in horror. His mouth is no exception. What he intended to demonstrate is uncertain. Perhaps he hoped his tormentors would fear being bitten. Though this scenario has yet to take place, the resulting wound would no doubt [[Chris and health|get infected]] and bestow the recipient with a [[autism|horrifying disease]]. So in that respect, they are kind of scary. Or would be if he weren't too housebound to use them.<br />
<br />
Interestingly enough, Chris doesn't actually appear to have any [[wikipedia:Canine tooth|canine]] (also called cuspid) teeth (called "eye-teeth" by Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_18 Issue 10 Page 18] "I HAVE FANGS FOR MY EYE-TEETH"</ref>). Therefore, the whole threat of his fangs are, once again, an enormous [[fail]]ure.<br />
<br />
Chris has since upgraded his arsenal to a [[pocket knife]].<br />
<br />
==Wisdom teeth==<br />
Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He keeps them in a jar on top of the [[Megan Shrine]] and also made a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card with them on it. Being the [[Autistic|bizarre]] narcissist that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short story, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds his removed teeth important enough to think that they would be worth adding to a child's card game says a lot about how rarely Chris leaves his house.<br />
<br />
==Appearances==<br />
<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January_8th, 2009]]:'''<br />
<br />
* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January_15th, 2009]]:'''<br />
<br />
* '''[[Sign Destruction Video]]:''' On the 6th of December 2009, Chris threatens [[Vivian Gee|Vivian Gee]] by ripping apart a paper sign left in his yard, and then bites his [[Clown Doll|clown's]] head off with those infected gums. He exposes his yellowed and rotting teeth to the audience, undoubtedly to show off his sugar-encrusted enamel.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:0731-Megan Shrine1.JPG|CWC's wisdom teeth seen here guarded by two [[My Little Pony]]s on the top shelf.<br />
Image:151-WisdomTeeth.jpg|So...are the discarded cards wisdom teeth, or…something?<br />
Image:ChrisCavities.JPG|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Chris and Anger]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category: Physical characteristics]]<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Medallions&diff=136988Medallions2011-03-08T03:00:51Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:License.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Oh, yes he fucking did!]]<br />
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|150px|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Watch out for the medallion!|[[Niggo|Ludacris]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them "medals".<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref><br />
<br />
The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic.]]<br />
<br />
==Origins and purpose==<br />
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|150px|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]<br />
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]<br />
<br />
Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}<br />
<br />
Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature. <br />
<br />
In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is...because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.<br />
<br />
[[File:Soniccomicmedallion.png|thumb|Chris can't come up with any original ideas.]]<br />
<br />
One recent theory as to the origin of the medallion idea comes from the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' comic series (issue #70), in which a character is depicted wearing a yellow Sonic medallion. This theory is supported by the fact the issue came out in February [[1999]], a year before Chris claims that the Sonichu medallion was created.<br />
<br />
Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.<br />
<br />
==The Sonichu medallion==<br />
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]<br />
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]<br />
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. <br />
<br />
As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.<br />
<br />
Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.<br />
<br />
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them.<br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
===Prototype===<br />
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|150px|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]<br />
<br />
It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].<br />
<br />
Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].<br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
===Mark 1 (and decoy)===<br />
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]<br />
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]<br />
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]<br />
<br />
By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear a new medallion with a better paint job. This one can be identified by the tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face, which are less pronounced than in the prototype and later models. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.<br />
<br />
No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].<br />
<br />
Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and its fate is unclear.<br />
<br />
A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.<br />
<br />
<br><br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center><br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
===Mark 2===<br />
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|150px|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]<br />
<br />
After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.<br />
<br />
Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.<br />
<br />
On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but in any case, the remnants of the medallion were assuredly covered in [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal matter]]. Whatever happened, Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.<br />
<br />
===Mark 3===<br />
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|150px|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]<br />
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]<br />
<br />
Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.<br />
<br />
In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.<br />
<br />
Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum. <br />
<br />
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.<br />
<br />
The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.<br />
<br />
CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.<br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
==The Rosechu medallion==<br />
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|150px|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]<br />
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]<br />
<br />
Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008. <br />
<br />
The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].<br />
<br />
In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.<br />
<br />
<br clear="all"><br />
<br />
==The Black Sonichu medallion==<br />
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|150px|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]<br />
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|150px|thumb|Close-up]]<br />
<br />
Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris appears to use the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side. The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a video aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]].<br />
<br />
The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].<br />
<br />
Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
<br />
==The Jiggliami medallion==<br />
Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.<br />
<br />
It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:Jiggliamimedallion.jpg|On the back, it reads "Medallion crafted by Christian Weston Chandler."<br />
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|Scanned image of the front of the Jiggliami Medallion.<br />
Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|Back of the Jiggliami Medallion. The signature by Chris has faded with time.<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
==The [[Asperchu]] Medallion (a.k.a. The Medallion of Win?)==<br />
[[Image:Asperchumedal.jpg|200px|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]] <br />
<br />
In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion is confirmed to be one of Asperchu. Apparently, it was crafted by Alec Benson Leary and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't have to look at it.<br />
<br />
Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].<br />
<br />
==Gone forever?==<br />
Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. All is right with the world again.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Relics of Fail}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]<br />
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Anime_Mid-Atlantic&diff=135917Anime Mid-Atlantic2011-03-02T18:01:31Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on 29 [[May 2004]] and 17 [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].<br />
<br />
==2004==<br />
Chris recounts this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #5:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews5.htm</ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|<br />
On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel<br />
Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)<br />
}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]<br />
<br />
<gallery><br />
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish.<br />
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|<nowiki>:D</nowiki><br />
</gallery><br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==2005==<br />
Chris anticipates this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #9 and #10:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews9.htm</ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one.<br><br />
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see [[News Dash]] issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|<code>8D</code>|thumb]]<br />
<br />
This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.<br />
<br />
<gallery><br />
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Video games|GameCube]]...check.<br />
Image:AMA2.jpg|[[Health|24-pack of Pepsi]]...check.<br />
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check.<br />
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check".<br />
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check<br />
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic!Chris]] costume...check!<br />
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!!!<br />
</gallery><br />
<br />
===Witness account===<br />
In [[May 2010]], the blog ''Topless Robot'' had a contest for "Most Shameful Nerd Moment". One commenter named tasakeru828, who ran a ''[[Sonic]]'' panel at what was presumably Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005, described the experience:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|I actually met Chris-chan at an anime convention before [[ED]] found out about him and started trolling him en masse. A friend and I were hosting a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] panel and trying to prove that not all Sonic fans are as batshit insane as they're made out to be. That noble goal was shot to hell when the one-and-only Christian Weston Chandler arrived in all his [[Chris and fashion|clown-shirted]], Sonichu-[[medallion]]-wearing glory and started handing out free copies of his first issue. He asked us a completely unintelligible question (thinking mistakenly that we actually had some influence on the series as a whole), and afterwards he babbled at us personally while we smiled and nodded trying to look interested. We obviously knew he was mentally ill, but we had no idea that we were meeting a future [[Internet]] legend.<br><br />
Now, I still persist in my goal to prove that some Sonic fans are decent, intelligent people. And despite all the flamewars, recolors, and assorted drama that the Sonic series has caused, I still love it and will defend from haters till my dying breath. I am an unabashed, true blue Sonic fan, die-hardest of the die-hard, and nothing will ever change that. But Lord, Chris-chan comes very close to ruining it all for even me, and that should tell you something.<ref>http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/05/moments_of_nerd_shame_and_the_winners_are.php</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Aftermath==<br />
Chris has not been to an anime convention since the 2005 Anime Mid-Atlantic event. In 2010, he planned for a time to visit the Otakon convention in Baltimore (in large part so he could meet [[Jackie]] there), but he managed to thwart himself by spending the money he'd set aside for the expedition. In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he claims that he overdrew his bank account shortly before the trip. This incurred the wrath of his parents, who refused to allow him to leave the house.<br />
<br />
==Sauce==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.animemidatlantic.com/ Official Website]<br />
* [http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 Convention Information Page] <br />
* [http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 Convention Information Page]<br />
<br />
{{Places}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Places]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=14_Branchland_Court&diff=13583314 Branchland Court2011-03-02T04:21:23Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}</center><br />
{{quote|One does not simply walk into 14 Branchland Court. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great Man-child is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with video games and sex toys, the very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this, it is folly.|[[YouTube]] comment, dragonslayer396}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Fullfrontalfilth.gif|thumb|The most complete view of the front. Note the [[Sonichu]] drawn in the snow.]]<br />
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!]]<br />
[[Image:Chris house.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]<br />
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Another aerial image of the Chandler House.]]<br />
[[Image:BranchlandCourt.jpg|thumb|A more accurate depiction of 14 Branchland Court]]<br />
<br />
'''14 Branchland Court''' is the lair of the [[Chandler]] Clan. It is a white (now yellowed to ivory) two-story house trimmed in [[homos|pink]] (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of [[Ruckersville, VA]]. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house itself reeks of the early [[1980s]], having tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding; it probably hasn't been re-sided in years. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.<br />
<br />
As of [[2009#March|March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house was once quite tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.<br />
<br />
[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|"THAT IS MY HOUSE"]] revealed that Chris's parents are aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.<br />
<br />
Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis.<br />
<br />
Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref><br />
<br />
==History==<br />
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from the time he was born until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in the fall of 1992, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held down the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.<br />
<br />
The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in 2000 after Chris graduated high school. In a [[100 2178|video]] released in May 2010, Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)<br />
<br />
==The Tour==<br />
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}<br />
In two videos uploaded on [[2009#March|27 March 2009]], Chris provides a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of shit that Chris cannot enter them. <br />
<br />
What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.<br />
<br />
==First floor==<br />
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the music room", which is now primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) has been claimed by [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently sleeps there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.<br />
<br />
==Second floor==<br />
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in [[April 2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]<br />
<br />
[[Chris's room]] is in the northern corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the eastern corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown or green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax and Bob never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.<br />
<br />
==Yard==<br />
On first examination, you'd be forgiven for mistaking Chris's yard for Silent Hill. It consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]], probably due to a [[Dirty crapped briefs|dark stench]] poisoning the air. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where The Lumberjack would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her doghouse still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the lazy-ass pansy that he is, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.<br />
<br />
However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start the [[Fuck Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.<br />
<br />
As of [[August 2010]], it is very apparent that Chris's parents have completely given up on lawn care, with none of the grass cut at all. Many of the grass and weeds surrounding the house are almost four feet tall, obscuring many parts of the residence altogether.<br />
<br />
==Mail==<br />
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]}}<br />
<br />
If you would like to send an envelope containing anthrax to Christian, or perhaps mail his parents some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:<br />
<br />
:''Christian Weston Chandler,''<br />
:''14 Branchland Court,''<br />
:''[[Ruckersville]],''<br />
:''VA 22968-9545,''<br />
:''[[United States of America]]''<br />
<br />
'''NOTE:'''<br />
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara and Bob will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that they have read some of the letters and ignored them).<br />
<br />
Chris will respond to fan mail, provided there's a return address on the envelope.<br />
<br />
==Visiting==<br />
Visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and promptly trades the deed to a troll for some magic beans so said troll can found the "Christian Weston Chandler Museum of Fail", are ill-advised. While a troll who does manage to make it to the front door will probably not be assaulted by Chris, they will most likely face Chris as he calls for his elderly parents to fight his battle or perform a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].<br />
<br />
To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.<br />
<br />
==Chris and his address==<br />
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.<br />
<br />
* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".<br />
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.<br />
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.<br />
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.<br />
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.<br />
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.<br />
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Chris's room]]<br />
* [[Chris's kitchen]]<br />
* [[Ruckersville, VA]]<br />
* [[Charlottesville, VA]]<br />
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]<br />
* [[Chris's homes]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
Other famous hoarders:<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers The Collyer Brothers] - Infamous NY hoarders who ended up being crushed to death by their own shit.<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Trebus Edmund Trebus] -An eccentric Polish immigrant who ended up being a TV star because of his hoarding.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Places}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris's house]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College&diff=135077Piedmont Virginia Community College2011-02-24T22:48:54Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>:''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''<br />
<br />
[[Image:RealPVCCLogo.jpg|thumb|The public education system has failed us miserably...]]<br />
<br />
'''Piedmont Virginia Community College''' is Chris's collegiate [[Wikipedia:alma mater|''alma mater'']], a [[Wikipedia:Community college|community college]] located in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]]. At PVCC, [[Chris]] earned an associate's degree in [[Wikipedia:Applied science|Applied Science]] and a [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]] certificate. After [[Slow-in-the-minds|four years of study]], Chris earned his degree; astute observers will note that associates' degrees usually take students two years in the U.S. He also made [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean's]] List, or so he claims.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]: "I earned two degrees in Computer Aided Drafting and Design at Piedmont Virginia Community College, and made the Dean's List."</ref><br />
<br />
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], PVCC is the realm of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. In real life, Walsh, in her role as Dean of Student Affairs, gave Chris a hard time on his [[Love Quest]] and at points shattered his heart, lowering his [[heart level|level]] to nearly zero. Chris took revenge in his own inimitable fashion, making her into a character in his comics: the evil witch in command of a villainous group known as the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].<br />
<br />
Chris began classes in PVCC in [[2000#September|September 2000]]. For reasons unknown, even to Chris, he originally chose "Marketing" as his major. Or, more likely, his [[father]] chose it for him. Bob quickly transferred Chris to the [[CADD]] course, as this was in the days before he had completely given up on the idea that his son will become a functioning adult.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_is_lazy.2C_Hates_simple_chores]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Kicked out of English==<br />
[[Image:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|For reference, this is what Chris wore to college.]]<br />
Chris's first great PVCC trauma occurred when he was kicked out of an [[English]] class on his [[birthday]].<br />
<br />
Chris at one point claimed that his class was reading ''Wednesday's Child''<ref>[http://www.amazon.com/Wednesdays-Child-Inspector-Banks-Novels/dp/0380820498]</ref>, a story about an [[autistic]] girl who [[Death threats|brutally murders people]]. Chris said that he told his [[JERKS|male]] professor that by golly, he is autistic too! This allegedly resulted in Chris's ejection from that class on 24 [[February 2003]], Chris's twenty-first birthday. According to Chris, the reason was the professor's misunderstanding and fear of [[autism]]. Chris cried and later passed the course when he retook it with a female professor.<br />
<br />
Of course, there is more to this story than Chris lets on. In conversations with his [[gal-pal]]s years afterward, Chris admitted that the topic of [[homosexuality]] had come up in a group discussion in class. Chris made a derogatory and inappropriate comment (in his words, he emitted "exclamations you'd likely hear from a [[Niggo|black person]] in [[church]]"), and was promptly told to leave.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><br />
<br />
After being kicked out, Chris sat at a table by himself and cried. As well as reinforcing Chris's [[JERKS|hatred of men]], this event also inspired Chris to begin his [[Love Quest]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Kicked out of college==<br />
The college itself is intolerant of those who are [[Love Quest]]ing, and makes extra effort to cockblock any males on its campus by brutally censoring any signs that show the least bit of interest in romance; after all, [[Virginia is for Virgins]].<br />
<br />
By mid-[[2003#October|October 2003]], Chris had been using his [[Attraction Sign]] for two months without success. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], under the impression that Chris was soliciting [[sex]], seized [[Attraction Sign|the sign]], yelled at him in "a very violent manner," and harshly criticized his methods. Chris made a new sign, only to see Walsh sabotage his plot once again a few weeks later. This served only to make Chris [[Chris and anger|rage]] and spam the college with his ridiculous ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter. As a result, Walsh gave Chris a stern lecture, banned him from PVCC for a year, made him take an anger management course, and forced him to see a shrink.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> To this peculiar chain of events we owe the eventual release of the [[autism papers]].<br />
<br />
To make matters worse, PVCC is largely considered something of a joke, even by other local community colleges.{{cite}} So Chris basically didn't just fail at community college; he failed at a community college that failed at being a community college.<br />
<br />
==Graduation==<br />
After spending four years on a course of study that normally takes only two, Chris graduated with an associate's degree in Applied Science and a [[CADD]] certificate. Chris has repeatedly and falsely claimed to have two degrees.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (26 October 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref><br />
<br />
Compared to his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], he didn't seem to give a fuck. Of note, Chris wore not only his [[Sonichu medallion]], but his [[honor roll]] sash from [[high school]] underneath his gown, yet another sign that he cannot move on from high school — so much so that he even wore his original high school gown and tassel to his college graduation.<br />
<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:0710-CWCCollGrad1.jpg|Graduation<br />
Image:0711-CWCCollGrad2.jpg|Such is his disdain for college, he's wearing the [[medallion]] and the same [[Chris and fashion|shirt of fail]] he draws himself in.<br />
Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|And as usual, Chris couldn't care less and he disrobed himself like a little kid.<br />
Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|His Associate of Applied Science degree.<br />
Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|His CADD certificate. Chris insists this is a degree, but the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]] begs to differ.<br />
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|"Student featured in ''[[Nintendo Power]]''."<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==PVCC as viewed by Chris==<br />
Christian Weston Chandler refers to Piedmont Virginia Community College as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (abbreviated '''PVCCitizens'''; or, on one occasion, as '''Piedmont Virginity College'''<ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]</ref>) due to the grudge he holds against the college. Within the context of his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for the activities of the villains of [[CWCville]].<br />
<br />
As you can imagine, when the [[troll]] message boards were created, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)]]<br />
<br />
==Sauce==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Piedmont Virginia Community College|Wikipedia article on PVCC]]<br />
* [http://www.pvcc.edu/ PVCC website]<br />
<br />
{{Places}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]<br />
[[Category:Education]]<br />
[[Category:Places]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=SHOWDOWN:_The_TRUE_CWC_Confronts_The_FAKE&diff=134843SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE2011-02-21T04:00:41Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div>'''''SHOWDOWN''''' is a recording of a telephone exchange between [[Solid Chris]] (<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>) and [[Liquid Chris]] (<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>), in which Solid threatens to arrest Liquid for identity theft, and involve [[Bob]] in this debacle.<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Audiofile<br />
| name = SHOWDOWN: With the Recording of The Feds, The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE<br />
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|bmGkTFFczjY}}<br />
| Stardate = 09 [[August 2009]]<br />
| Featuring = [[Liquid Chris]]; [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br />
| Subject = Liquid confronts Ian about the slander that Ian's been giving him.<br />
| Saga = {{Liquid}}Liquid Saga<br />
| previous = n/a<br />
| next = [[Kacey Phone Call]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: 'Lo?<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Hello, Ian. Yeah, I think you know who this is.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''sigh''] Look, Christian, stop this.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Look, you are giving me a lot of stress right now and I am not going to handle it.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''sigh''] Look, Chris, [''<font color="sienna">CWC</font color> snorts, possibly from laughter.''] listen. I was kind enough to accept that you have said that you are actually a Christian W. Chandler, but you were born as a Chris—<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] Yes, my name— My name— My name is Christian Weston Chandler.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: Alright, fine, your name is Christian Weston Chandler, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Yes.] but the fact is, you were born with that name; you are not the Christian Weston Chandler that was born as Christopher Weston Chandler, who’s the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No. No. No.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] Look, I fa— I've— I've— I-I’ve ask— I've asked you nicely [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No, my name—] to please stop pretending, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No.] for the sake of [[Kacey]]. She really cares about you.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: I do not pretending anything. And you need to stop slandering me with your lies on the YouTube.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''scoff''] Look, I don’t know what the heck is [[Chris and Reality|wrong in your head]], but you know, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No, I don't— I—] and I know, her parents knows, Kacey knows, the whole world knows that you are not the Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] Well— Well then, the whole world must be— You know the whole world must be slandering against me, because I don’t think that’s very true, because my fan base— If you took a look at my— You— If you take a look at my YouTube videos, you see that my fanbase has left me comments of support, and I take— And I take a look at your YouTube videos and you— And I see that they are all calling you out.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''sigh''] Look, just please, don't— Don’t do this. [[South Park|You’re breaking my balls here.]] Stop doing this. Stop playing this game. Quit pretending. Please, come clean.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: I am— I'm not pretending—<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] Stop it.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Mmmm... You are really ticking me off right now. Mmm...<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''sigh''] Look... Look, we’re both ticking each other off, but let—<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] You ju-ju-ju— You just keep making up all these things up, I'm not, I mean whatever, you know, and right now, you’re ma- you're making that up- you're making them up right now.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: Making ''what'' up?<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] You're just making that up off the top of your head, because your name is not Christian Weston Chandler, it is [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], and you are [[Family Guy|grinding my gears]].<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] No, look, listen I— Listen, I'll spell it out for you: I came up with I. B. A. Chandler as in ''I'', meaning myself, ''B'', as in specifying what I am, ''A'', as in singular, and ''Chandler'', being my last name. [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Mmm... Yeah, that's—] There is no such thing as Ian Brandon Erinson. [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: I actually figured it out.] I am Christopher Weston Chandler.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No, because I found it out, your Ian Brandon Anderson name, the reason you a— You added Chandler to that is because you were paying tribute to the serial killer ''[[Wikipedia:Oba Chandler|Oba Chandler]]''.<br />
<br />
[''Ian talks to parents in background indistinctly.'']<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''background, to Barbara''] Mom, if you keep that up, he's gonna hang up, we're gonna lose track of communication right now. So [''unintelligible''] the devil's number.<br />
<br />
<font color="grey">'''Barbara'''</font color>: [''background''] I'm get a phone talk to him.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: Are you still there?<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Mmm... Yeah, I'm still here. What do you want to talk about?<br />
<br />
[''Ian talks to parents in background indistinctly.'']<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''background''] I'm not going to let this go, he's [''inaudible''] around with me in real life.<br />
<br />
[''Bob talks indistinctly in background.'']<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''background''] He— He's continuing to call me this ''Ian Brandon Anderson'' that somebody made up.<br />
<br />
[''Bob continues talking indistinctly in background.'']<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: Look, Chris, stop it. Stop this game, you know—<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] I am not playing a game. I am— I have not— I have been— I have been being true and honest this entire time, and you have been playing a dirty game.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: Look, stop. No, no, no, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Yes.] I am not play— I am not playing a game, I am being the true— I am the true, honest voice of reason here, I am being the— I am the true, honest one here. [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No.] I am the original true creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] and the world of [[CWCville]]. You're just trying—<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] No. No. That's— That was me.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: You're just... No, no, no, no. [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Nobody-] You have never been to Manchester High School, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Yes, I have. Yes—] you have never been to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], you are taking the same class as Kacey is, over at community college in Washington, D.C.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Uh, no, I am not, I don't even live in the Washington, D.C.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: You ''are'' in D.C., I know it, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Not—] she knows it, [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: No.] we all know it. Now stop it, if you don't— [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Mmm... Yeah, I'd like to see—] If you don't— If you don't— [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: I'd like to see you prove that, because, uh—] IF YOU DO NOT COME CLEAN RIGHT NOW, I AM GOING TO GET MY FATHER IN ON THIS FURTHER, AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET FUCKING ARRESTED, THROWN IN JAIL, AND YOU WILL NOT GET TO LIVE THE PEACEFUL, HAPPY LIFE THAT KACEY AND I WOULD LIKE [''voice cracks''] YOU TO LIVE, BECAUSE KACEY REALLY CARES FOR YOU, ''MAN''!<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] That's not true, I am ''[[honor roll]]''! I was honor roll, and you... You have just been... Mmm... And you know what? Ya— How would you— When would you even, you know— You keep making all these threats with the police and—<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] I am not making up any threats, my s— [<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Yes, you are.] —everything I tell you is ''true'', ''honest'', and ''legit'', you are the one being—<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: [''interrupting''] No, you are being— You are not— You are not being true and you are ''not'' being honest.<br />
<br />
<font color="darkviolet">'''IBA'''</font color>: Okay, this is it. I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just busted my balls again, [[Chris and the Law|''you're going to jail'']]. I'm sorry, Kacey.<br />
<br />
<font color="sienna">'''CWC'''</font color>: Yeah.<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[SingStar Challenge]]|nextlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|}}<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category: Trolls]]<br />
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Liquid_Chris&diff=134841Liquid Chris2011-02-21T03:42:31Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations.}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|If you look hard, you can see the TRUE, HONEST [[Sonichu medallion]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY — DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]]. <br />
<br />
==Prologue==<br />
[[File:Cwcc.png|thumb|left|Hope for a better [[CWCville]].]]<br />
[[File:Original image.png|thumb|FALSE and DISHONEST!!!]]<br />
<br />
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.<br />
<br />
{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris, [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]}}<br />
<br />
==Liquid Saga==<br />
{{Protip|If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.}}<br />
<br />
====A challenger appears====<br />
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the impostor.|thumb]]<br />
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''<br />
<br />
At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.<br />
<br />
{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}<br />
<br />
Notably, Liquid Chris sported:<br />
* A paper Sonichu medallion<br />
* A striped shirt (brown)<br />
* Pedo-glasses<br />
* Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)<br />
* Autism<br />
<br />
All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and Reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.<br />
<br />
====Ian Brandon Anderson====<br />
:''Main Article: [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br />
<br />
What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".<br />
<br />
The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.<br />
<br />
Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.<br />
<br />
===CWCivil War begins===<br />
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]<br />
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''<br />
<br />
The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.<br />
<br />
Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!<br />
<br />
HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].<br />
<br />
F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''<br />
<br />
Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!<br />
<br />
I am Calling YOU OUT!<br />
<br />
[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA<br />
BEFORE August 2, 2009.<br />
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.<br />
<br />
oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.<br />
<br />
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.<br />
<br />
You are a Nerd and a Whimp!<br />
<br />
Have a good day.<br><br />
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,<br />
<br />
It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.<br />
<br />
Stay True.<br />
<br />
CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==The Battleground==<br />
<br />
===="More Than A Feeling"====<br />
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]<br />
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''<br />
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]<br />
<br />
For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.<br />
<br />
====Spanish Challenge====<br />
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]<br />
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''<br />
<br />
More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:<br />
<br />
{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}<br />
<br />
The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].<br />
<br />
====''SingStar'' Challenge====<br />
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]<br />
{{Main|SingStar_Challenge}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Fail|And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.]]<br />
<br />
As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:<br />
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].<br />
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.<br />
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.<br />
<br />
And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.<br />
<br />
==="SHOWDOWN"===<br />
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}<br />
<br />
{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}<br />
<br />
On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
<br />
==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|B6Q1yFXgdoQ}}<br />
| Stardate = 14 August 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey<br />
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]<br />
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:<br />
<br />
{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}<br />
<br />
Then, he tried reason:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = GONE<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RdshGz_Pvks}}<br />
| Stardate = 15 August 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]<br />
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.<br />
<br />
===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===<br />
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]<br />
{{Main|Kacey}}<br />
<br />
Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.<br />
<br />
In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.<br />
<br />
When the dust had settled, Solid had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the real Chris.<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = 10152009<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Tn7WNTxCDck}}<br />
| Stardate = 15 October 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]<br />
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Epilogue===<br />
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]]. <br />
<br />
Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</ref><br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Liquid<br />
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AQKzqnatMXw}}<br />
| Stardate = 06 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics<br />
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown<br />
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''<br />
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.<br />
<br />
Signed,<br />
<br />
"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}<br />
<br />
==Irony==<br />
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]<br />
IBAChandler has mocked Liquid on several points:<br />
<br />
* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone.]]<br />
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]<br />
* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]<br />
* [[Fat|His appearance.]]<br />
<br />
It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning.<br />
<br />
In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.<br />
<br />
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|right|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]<br />
<br />
In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].<br />
<br />
And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].<br />
<br />
== In the comic ==<br />
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]<br />
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly seize [sic] to the extreme!]]<br />
<br />
On 17 [[November 2009]], the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.<br />
<br />
Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]].<br />
<br />
Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced Chris to cede control over [[CWCville]] to the browned-striped impostor.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL<br />
|<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = The Final Fight — Part I<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}<br />
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = The Final Fight — Part II<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}<br />
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = The Final Fight — Part III<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}<br />
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}<br />
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]<br />
| Maker = BobbyHillify<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Solid Chris]]<br />
* [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]<br />
* [[Jimmy Hill]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/cchansonichucwc CChanSonichuCWC YouTube Account]<br />
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Real_Chris_Chan The Real Chris Chan] on [[ED]]<br />
* <s>[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler Christian Weston Chandler]</s> on [[Asperpedia]] - '''DEAD'''<br />
<br />
<br>{{SingStarChallenge}}<br />
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Noviophobia&diff=134838Noviophobia2011-02-21T03:18:21Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris explains his "phobia". Note the text box in the screenshot.]]<br />
<br />
'''Noviophobia''' is a word [[Chris]] created that he describes as his general fear of girls being paired up. While normal people would suggest that this is a form of social anxiety or that Chris is just [[Wikipedia:Love_shyness|love shy]], Chris of course felt the need to coin his own term for it. <br />
<br />
Chris's noviophobia manifested itself during the first months of his [[Love Quest]], and came to be because the girls he asked would often turn him down on the grounds that they "already had a boyfriend," due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. This eventually led to Chris's obsession with finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]. Chris formed the word noviophobia by using the [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|Spanish]] word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English term ''phobia'', derived from the Greek word ''φόβος'' (phóbos), meaning fear. <br />
<br />
The name Chris coined for his fear is therefore not completely logical, as it refers to the fear of boyfriends themselves, and not so much to the fear of girls being undatable. It also wouldn't suffice as a scientific medical term, because fears are usually derived from Greek words. An eligible term would be ''philophobia'', using the Greek word φίλος (phílos), which in this context, roughly means "male friend" or "boyfriend", or ''agoriphobia'', from the Greek ''αγόρι'', meaning "boyfriend". <br />
<br />
The word is alternatively spelled "noiophobia", as it appears in Christian's letter to ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' about how ''[[Sprung]]'' has helped this condition. Chris later explained that this was an accidental misspelling.<br />
<br />
==Uses by Chris==<br />
In addition to the infamous ''Nintendo Power'' letter, Chris has used this particular invented term on several occasions.<br />
<br />
* Chris apparently described his noviophobia (spelled as "novio phobia" by the examiner) to the psychiatrist he spoke with during his [[autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] from 2004.<br />
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' contains multiple references to noviophobia, in Chris's third-person description of himself and in a discussion of his letter to ''Nintendo Power'' (where he corrects the magazine's spelling of the term).<br />
* Chris also mentions his noviophobia several times in the different editions of his [[Story of My Current Days]].<br />
* Though he doesn't use the full term, Chris mentions his phobia of boyfriends during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]].<br />
* In his [[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)|edited version of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]], published on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[December 2009]], Chris claimed that he had gotten over his fear of boyfriends in general, replacing it with a more specific fear and hatred of [[trolls]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Spanish]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Heart_level&diff=134837Heart level2011-02-21T03:13:35Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{protip|To increase Chris' heart level to 100%, simply be female and say "hello" to him. Males may attempt heart-recovery by announcing exciting new Sonichu Game development efforts, but this doesn't work as reliably.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Actually, it is Moderate and Stable at the moment.|Chris, 17 May 2010}}<br />
[[Image:heartlevel2.jpg|thumb|right|This is a real rarity.]]<br />
[[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|thumb|left|This happens all the time.]]<br />
<br />
'''Heart level''' is Chris's measure of his emotional state. Because Chris has spent his life playing video games instead of socializing with actual people, he is only able to express his emotions in video game-inspired terms. It first appeared in [[Sonichu 1|Sub-Episode #2: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]] (where it hit its lowest recorded level, 15%) but he uses the term in general conversation as well.<br />
<br />
Chris uses the word "shattered" [[Chris and English#Repetition|exclusively]] to describe his perpetually wounded heart level. He has never even used the more common expression, "broken heart".<br />
<br />
Heart level was also helpfully displayed on [[CWCipedia]] front page, as a diabolical variation of [[wikipedia:Template_talk:Wstress3d|Wikipedia's stress meters]]. Well...it ''would'' have been a diabolical variation, but apparently Chris was too lazy to change it, making it merely slightly lame. Despite leaving an obvious default placeholder message on the front page, he still felt comfortable showing this fantastic website to potential investors/employers.<br />
<br />
{{quote|100% Change the number to change your heart level and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.|CWCipedia administration describing how Chris feels in August 2008!}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<Center><gallery><br />
Image:Heart15.jpg|15%<br />
Image:Heart100.jpg|100%<br />
</gallery></Center><br />
<br />
==References by Chris==<br />
[[Image:heartlevel1.jpg|thumb|right|This sounds about right.]]<br />
[[Image:heartlevel0.png|thumb|right|Professional artist's depiction of a critically low heart level.]]<br />
* [[CWC's Diary]] includes similar remarks on the Walsh encounter: "I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me!"<br />
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' includes a couple of complaints about heart-shattering in relation to the Walsh and Hanna incidents.<br />
* [[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]], finished in April [[2005]], features the illustrated heart level as part of Chris's tale of his ill-fated date with [[Hanna]].<br />
* The August [[2006]] updates to Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]] talk about the fluctuating level of Chris's shattered heart in the section covering the Hanna date. The same document also has a memorable remark on Mary Lee Walsh's destruction of the [[Attraction Sign]]: "IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL!"<br />
* A 2007 [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|e-mail to Megan]] surely didn't creep her out in the slightest: "If I lost you...it would TOTALLY SHATTER my heart, my soul, my being."<br />
* In a [[Facebook messages|Facebook message]] from January [[2008]], Chris bills himself as "Christian W. Chandler, a lonely Autistic, heart-shattered sap."<br />
* Another Facebook message of January 2008 says "My heart is recovering very slowly; it's at like 15% [...] The lonliness hurts the remaining 85% of my heart sadly."<br />
* On his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]], in its account of his feud with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris complains that "MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment."<br />
* [[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]], a curious video from the midst of the [[Liquid Chris]] fiasco, includes an apology to Mary Lee Walsh. Among other things, Chris says, "I forgive you for your misdeed of Heart-Shattering."<br />
* Despite this, in his 2010 posts on the [[Sonichu_Forum#Chris_is_literally_a_filthy_liar|Sonichu Forum]], Chris was hung up on Walsh's shattering of his heart.<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
* [[Scale of Respect]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Boyfriend-free_girl&diff=134836Boyfriend-free girl2011-02-21T03:10:23Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|Boyfriend-free girls surrounding Chris. ('''Note:''' This never happened.)]]<br />
<br />
'''Boyfriend-free girl''' is a [[CWC-isms|peculiar turn of phrase]] that [[Chris]] uses. Obviously, it refers to a girl who is single. <br />
<br />
==Etymology==<br />
This is what Chris calls single white women. He wants one to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]".<br />
<br />
Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend-free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason. One possible explanation is that a [[gal pal]], hoping to kindly but firmly deter Chris from hitting on her, would claim she has a boyfriend, even if she doesn't. It seems that the very presence of Chris can cause a woman to spontaneously grow a boyfriend, or [[JERKS|jerk]]. Also, the fact that "boy" is the first part of what he seeks may be perpetually thwarting his attempts to [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|stay straight]].<br />
<br />
Chris also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, a condition he calls [[noviophobia]]. Whether he excludes "boyfriend-free girls" who are boyfriend-free for a [[homos|reason]] from the usage is up to debate, however, it is likely that he either forgets that not all women are straight, or he believes that his [[obesity|manly]] [[women's rights|charm]] can instantly turn women straight.<br />
<br />
In late [[October 2009]], Chris's standards took a step down yet again. Chris became [[Rape|infatuated]] with [[Liquid Chris]]'s girlfriend [[Kacey]], going so far as to say he [[I Love You Kacey|loved her]] in a grainy [[YouTube]] video, where he did not sound the least bit desperate at all. Days later, Chris [[For Kacey II|asked her out]] via YouTube, which is a totally mature and appropriate way for a 27-year-old man to ask a woman out on a date.<br />
<br />
Although Chris has done [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing things]] in the name of [[Megan Schroeder|unrequited love]] before, and has previously been infatuated with a [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|woman]] in a committed relationship, this was his first serious attempt to break up a couple for his own personal gain. To this end, he also [[For Chris|created yet another video]] where he described himself as a popular, attractive, even-tempered individual who makes good choices and has a strong moral compass.<br />
<br />
tl;dr: Chris now believes he can steal people's girlfriends by making crappy YouTube videos full of lies and sexual innuendo.<br />
<br />
==This Chris sounds like a stud. Where do I sign up?==<br />
<br />
[[sweetheart|Click here]] if you wish to pursue becoming a girlfriend of Christian. You can also [[Carlos Chantor|pay him for sex]], too.<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Attraction_Location&diff=134834Attraction Location2011-02-21T03:06:47Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>An '''Attraction Location''',<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> also called an "Attraction Spot",<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref> is a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] for any place where [[Chris]] sits passively, hoping to attract the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl|single women]]. Along with his [[Attraction Sign]] and [[Axe]] body spray, use of an Attraction Location has been a crucial component of Chris's [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
In practice, the Attraction Locations that Chris chose left him exposed to discovery by [[Mary Lee Walsh|various]] [[Manajerks|authority]] [[Jerkops|figures]], who take umbrage with his methods. He steadfastly refused to abandon his post until he was either [[banned]] or forcibly removed from the premises. Undaunted, he would go on to find new Attraction Locations, only to be banned from them as well. <br />
<br />
It's interesting to note that the use of these different locations marks some of the few significant milestones in Chris's life between [[2003]] and [[2008]], and even this minor change in his routine was forced upon him. It's entirely possible that if Chris had made less of a ruckus, he might still be sitting in his original Attraction Location to this day, indifferent to the years wasted in his fruitless endeavor.<br />
<br />
==Attraction Locations==<br />
=== In [[Charlottesville]]===<br />
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (until suspension on 16 September [[2004]])<br />
* [[University of Virginia]] (until December 2004; briefly returned during [[March 2009]], following [[Julie]] débâcle)<br />
* [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] (February 2004 until banned on 29 March 2005, briefly during March 2009, [[May 2009]] until imminent permaban)<br />
* [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] (until kicked out on 20 and 22 June 2005)<br />
* [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] (until arrested and thrown out on 20 July 2005)<br />
* [[The GAMe PLACe]] (although not primarily an Attraction Location, Chris met [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] there, and possibly considered it a good place to meet subsequent women, at least until being permabanned on 28 August [[2008]])<br />
* [[Fridays After Five]] (used in [[June 2010]], sporting a [[muscle bra]] he'd written on; seemed to attract the attention of a few [[Pedofork|underage girls]]).<br />
<br />
===In [[Ruckersville]]===<br />
* [[14 Branchland Court]] (since late [[2008]], Chris has mostly confined his Love Quest to the [[Internet]]. While perhaps not officially an Attraction Location, his basic technique of sitting around waiting for love to find him remains unchanged.)<br />
<br />
==Attraction time==<br />
Chris's time spent at his attraction location would be called his "attraction time".<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> While waiting for a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to approach him, he would do things such as play on his [[Nintendo|DS]], watch videos on his DS, pace back and forth, sing loudly, and so forth. These activities which, obviously, were rather distracting to mall patrons (and not terribly attractive to nubile passersby), would factor into his being [[banned]] from such locations. <br />
<br />
Due to his imbalanced [[biological clock]] (typically causing him to crash into slumber at about 6:30 A.M. and wake close to noon) attraction time would generally take place in the mid-to-late afternoon. This time would conveniently (and to the horror of the female patrons of [[Fashion Square]]) provide a higher concentration of potential sweethearts for Chris to harass.<br />
<br />
[[Anna McLerran]]'s [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] is the definitive chronicle of Chris spending his attraction time, when he moved from sitting in front of [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]] to [[Wikipedia:Pacific Sunwear|Pac Sun]], where Anna was working at the time.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Attraction Sign]]<br />
* [[Bagget]]<br />
* [[Chris and sex]]<br />
* [[Jerkop]]<br />
* [[Love Quest]]<br />
* [[Manajerks]]<br />
* [[Mary Lee Walsh]]<br />
* [[Sweetheart]]<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
{{Places}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWC-isms&diff=134832CWC-isms2011-02-21T03:01:54Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div><center>{{Honest}}</center><br />
One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult stuff by its name, Chris often has to resort to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of things a man his age would already be familiar with. While some of them are understandable — after all, even a decrepit elder would probably feel uncomfortable while talking about his [[Butt garments|diapers]] — others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", are capable of turning what would otherwise be a normal sentence into something only a retarded manchild like Chris would say. Others are attempts to be clever ([[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|"navy"]] for [[semen]] because it sounds like sea men). Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics, and you get his so-called '''CWCisms'''.<br />
<br />
CWC-isms may be combinations of words that already exist, entirely new words, or commonplace words used repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way.<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Biological_clock&diff=134821Biological clock2011-02-20T23:26:13Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Biological clock''' is the [[CWC-ism]] that [[Chris]] uses to refer to his [[Wikipedia:circadian rhythm|circadian rhythm]] (his sleeping pattern). Although this is technically not an incorrect use of the term, "biological clock" is more commonly used to describe [[Wikipedia:Menstrual cycle|the period of fertility in women]], so Chris just sounds (even more) stupid when he yammers on about fixing his biological clock. One of Chris's reasons for needing a [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[sweetheart]] is to fix his biological clock. Chris's infatuation with [[Ivy]] can be traced to the fact that she vaguely helped Chris have a normal, set sleeping pattern.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Rapeclock.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of Chris's biological clock.]]<br />
<br />
He first explained his sleep habits in an edit on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article:<br />
{{quote|YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from [[My Coke Rewards|Coca-Cola]] to [[Wikipedia:Pepsi|Pepsi]] to [[Wikipedia:Powerade|Powerade]] [''the latter of which is not a soda'']. I have a lot of stored [[Wikipedia:caffeine|caffeene]] [''sic''] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking biological clock as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a [[Sweetheart]], so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my [[Manchester High School|High School years]]. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and [[mass debating|random projects]] keep me up all night as well.|Chris, 11 [[2007#November|November 2007]]. <ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</ref>}}<br />
<br />
He is oblivious to the fact that the real reason he used to sleep during the night in high school is that he used to actually have some reason to get up in the morning. Parents (and college students) know that it's common for schoolchildren during the summer to get their sleep patterns messed up because they now can "stay up as late as they want." Since leaving [[PVCC]], Chris has had no job, no friends, and no life outside of [[mass debating]], making up things involving [[Sonichu]], and his [[Love Quest]], allowing him ample free time to stay up all night drinking [[Navy|caffeine]]. Yet, despite never leaving the house (thus negating the purpose of a standard sleep cycle), he seems to think that it's a perfectly valid excuse for not uploading comics on schedule.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #2]]</ref><br />
<br />
Chris's nocturnal habits during much of the [[2000s]] appear to be the primary reason that "Attraction Time" during his [[Love Quest]] occurred in the mid-to-late afternoon.<br />
<br />
==Uses by Chris==<br />
* Chris mentions his biological clock (without explaining what he means) in one of his e-mails to [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]]. This is the first recorded instance of his use of the term.<br />
* For some reason, the biological clock became a major element of Chris's relationship with [[Ivy]]. He thanks her for "fixing" it in [[CWC Update 9 April 2009]], [[A CWC Audition]], and [[Chris Sings Lovin' You]], as well as the bizarre dream-sequence page about their romance in [[Episode 19|Episode #19]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]. He also mentioned this in his AIM chats with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia userpage]].<br />
* Chris mentioned his broken biological clock during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], and added that his mother had the same problem at the time.<br />
* On his [[Twitter]] feed, Chris has blamed the biological clock for his odd schedule a couple of times, in [[December 2009]] and [[January 2010]].<br />
* In [[Mailbag 47|Mailbag #47]], Chris talked about his "recent biological clock reset", allowing him to return to a regular update schedule for his comics. This didn't last very long.<br />
* The [[Alec Benson Leary calls]] contain a good deal of biological clock discussion, particularly in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|call #2]] and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|call #3]]. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|call #7]], Alec tries to explain to Chris that he's gotten the meaning of the colloquialism "biological clock" completely wrong, but Chris refuses to believe him.<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cosplaying&diff=134819Cosplaying2011-02-20T23:12:56Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0658-ANIME513.JPG|thumb|Chris dressed as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his mary-sue counterpart]] in [[2005]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Cosplay''', short for '''"costume play"''', is a type of performance art in which a person dresses up as a character or idea. The practice is commonly seen in the [[anime]] fandom, but can also be seen in other fan realms, such as [[video games]] and [[Captain's log|''Star Trek'']]. [[Chris]] was first seen in cosplay attire with the famous [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume. Any attempts at cosplay are usually rare; however, a major wave of cosplaying by Chris, presumably to impress/amuse [[Jackie]], appeared in late [[2010]]. <br />
<br />
It should be noted that the costumes are created at his home using construction paper, markers, paints, and anything else he can purchase in the craft section of a [[Wal-Mart]]. They are crude interpretations of the original image he is attempting to portray and most seem put together quickly and with little effort. Most of the costumes barely resemble the characters Chris is trying to mimic. The only costume he appeared to put any effort into was his [[Sonichu]] form, in which he painted his face and body along with constructing a few minor details to make the look complete. This shows a complete lack of interest in actual cosplay itself unless it is depicting one of his own creations or personal interests.<br />
<br />
==Ash Ketchum cosplay==<br />
[[Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|thumb|left|[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Pimp mah riiide!]]]]<br />
[[Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|thumb|That hat is pretty goddamn dirty.]]<br />
Chris appeared in his [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally <s>created</s> purchased or made by [[Snorlax]] as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref name="ReferenceA">[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the [[2004]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against five kids dressed up as [[Wikipedia:Team Rocket|Team Rocket]]. The prize was a T-shirt.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|Television footage]] of Chris playing [[card games]] with little kids while dressed as Ash was also featured on his [[DVD]].<br />
<br />
For a while, Chris resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]] and eventually evolved into the [[Chris and fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|Gay Trucker]].<br />
<br />
The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of: <br />
* Faux-denim vest<br />
* Cut up gardening gloves<br />
* ''Pokémon League'' ballcap<br />
* Fanny-pack (also known as a "belly-bag" and a "bum-bag" to Britfags)<br />
<br />
The ensemble was usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' T-shirt, or white [[Sonic the Hedgehog|''Sonic Heroes'']] tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below). Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]]. Nevertheless, it remains as his best cosplay yet, and the only one that helped him win anything.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg|<br />
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!<br />
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==Jackie and cosplay==<br />
<br />
{{quote|At least I am doing this and I have myself a woman, so there. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. Especially these videos.|Chris}}<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisChanCosplayMR.jpg|thumb|The master costumer at work.]]<br />
<br />
On 16 [[September 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video of himself depicting Mr. Popo]] from the ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' series, stating that the cosplay and song was for his girlfriend. At the end of the video, we learned that it was indeed for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]]. At first, this seemed like a typical Chris move to impress a girl in the possible hopes of getting [[china]]. Apparently, either by Jackie urging him to do more or by Chris noticing that his [[sweetheart]] found amusement in his costume play, this was only the beginning.<br />
<br />
We wouldn't again see Chris's efforts to amuse his beloved until 2 [[October 2010]], when Chris released the video [[I like Mary Poppins]]. Though simplistic and crude, the idea that Chris is trying to portray is indeed a form of cosplay. This was just a tiny hint of what was to come the following day, when Chris uploaded a video attempting to be [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]]. In this video, he prances around insanely yelling "Robble robble robble" repeatedly in a quickly put together costume. Several other videos followed of Chris depicting everything from famous [[music]]ians to [[trolls]]. Not until the [[ECV 00002|"Sonichu Transformation" video]] would we be officially told, by his own mouth, that Chris was doing this for Jackie's amusement.<ref>[[ECV 00002|Sonichu Transformation video]], section 2</ref> Though it may just seem like speculation, it seems that any cosplay video starting from the original Mr. Popo was influenced by Jackie in some way.<br />
<br />
Most of his costumes during this period were made haphazardly and probably with whatever Chris had laying around [[Chris's room|his room]]. Typically, they consisted of nothing more than colored construction paper attached with tape or string to the front of his regular clothes. This is probably a result of his laziness and general lack of effort, though he usually seems satisfied with his work output (the [[100 2279|"considerably weak video"]] being a notable exception).<br />
<br />
Characters Chris has cosplayed as during this period:<br />
* [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]<br />
* [[McDonald's|Hamburglar]]<br />
* [[McDonald's|Grimace]]<br />
* [[Clyde Cash]]<br />
* [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] (though just vocally depicted)<br />
* A member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band]]<br />
* A [[Cherokee]]<br />
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]<br />
* Fred Flinstone and [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] (the latter in the same costume but with a different "head")<br />
* [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]] (a new low, with just a DVD case over his face)<br />
* A [[Harry Potter|wizard from Hogwarts]]<br />
* A [[niggo|"gangsta"]]<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:ChrisPapa.JPG|Flexing his ''PaRappa'' muscles.<br />
File:ChrisGroucho.JPG|Chris as Groucho Marx.<br />
File:ChrisJuffalo.JPG|As a Juffalo.<br />
Image:Niggocwc.jpg|CWC as [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]].<br />
File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|CWC tries to look like [[McDonald's|The Hamburglar]], but he comes off as an even creepier version of [[Soul Calibur|Voldo]].<br />
File:Grimace.jpg|As the Evil Grimace.<br />
File:Chriscash.jpg|As [[Clyde Cash]].<br />
File:Ohboy.jpg|As a member of [[100 2269|Sgt. Pepper's Virgins With Rage Band]].<br />
File:Liquidd.jpg|As [[Liquid Chris]].<br />
File:Indiann.jpg|As a [[Cherokee]].<br />
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris in his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|super-mode]].<br />
File:ChrisFredFlinstone.JPG|As Fred Flintstone.<br />
File:ChrisHomerFlinstone.JPG|As... Homer Simpson-Flintsone?<br />
File:ChrisAsCleveland.JPG|As Cleveland Brown. Ingenious.<br />
File:ChrisWizard.JPG|From Hogwarts. Learnin' spells n' yeah.<br />
File:128679185214.png|Artist's depiction.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and fashion]]<br />
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br />
*[[Liquid Chris]]<br />
*[[Robert Simmons V]]<br />
<br />
==Sauce==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Cosplay|Cosplay]] at [[Wikipedia]].<br />
<br />
{{Cosplay videos}}<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCville&diff=134749CWCville2011-02-19T17:50:34Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan discusses...]]}}<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|8UP6mEJrj1I}}</center><br />
<br />
'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where he can hide away from the hardships of reality and make all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1" width="500em"<br />
! colspan="2" | CWCville<br />
|-<br />
|'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)<br />
|[[File:Cwcflag1.png|frameless|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]<br />
|-<br />
|'''Flag''' (National)<br />
|[[File:Newflag1.png|frameless|The national flag of CWCville.]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Location'''<br />
| [[Virginia]], [[USA]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Coordinates'''<br />
| Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe, far from [[Molvanîa]].<br />
|-<br />
| '''Date Established'''<br />
| ''Fictional:'' [[Sonichu chronology#1982|1982]]<br>''Real World:'' [[2000]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Population'''<br />
| Unknown. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs.<br />
|-<br />
|'''Political Ideology'''<br />
| Chandlerist Socialism<br />
|- <br />
| '''ZIP Code'''<br />
| 02024<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook|''Sonichu'' #8 Official Videobook]]</ref><br />
|-<br />
| '''Website'''<br />
| None (formerly ''The CWCipedia'')<br />
|-<br />
| '''Also known as'''<br />
| Chris's Mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, The Confederate States of CWCville, Hell, etc.<br />
|-<br />
| '''Exports'''<br />
| Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, oppressed [[Homos|LGBT]] refugees, semen.<br />
|-<br />
| '''Current Relevance'''<br />
| Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe.<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville (note their postal code is the same as Chris's birthday and its address is nearly identical to his real address).]]<br />
<br />
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|200px|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]<br />
<br />
CWCville is the setting of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], a city in [[Virginia]] of which [[Chris]] is Mayor-for-Life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect [[Ego|his bias toward himself]]. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]], Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. <br />
<br />
It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the Jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of the anthropomorphic [[Patti-Chan]] The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will is supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.<br />
<br />
Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11|Mumble #11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it. <br />
<br />
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|left|The toys that started it all.]]<br />
<br />
The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade ''Sonichu'' items together on one table in his room. In February 2011, Chris claimed to have finally disassembled the LEGO model, but he insisted that the city "still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]</ref><br />
<br />
The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy. <br />
<br />
Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world. <br />
<br />
However, a map in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] shows CWCville as being near Pallet Town and Giovanni's Gym in Viridian City, featured in the ''[[Pokémon]]'' series and located in Kanto, an area based on the [[Wikipedia:Kantō region|Kantō region]] in Japan. It is also located near [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure#Gameplay|Station Square]], found on Mobius.<br />
<br />
Given Chris's humongous ego, it's surprising that didn't he give himself a whole country to begin with, or better yet, a whole fucking planet. He later created the land of [[RuleCWC]], an idiotic Hyrule ripoff, but he actually let someone else rule it.<br />
<br />
==Name==<br />
One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym", while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". A sign on the door to his room reads "Christian W. Chandler's Cwickville City Gym". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville, etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.) <br />
<br />
Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh, in which case it would be pronounced "cookville".<br />
<br />
==Government and politics==<br />
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]]. Note how Chris needs an [[Ego|arrow pointing to himself]].]]<br />
<br />
According to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.<br />
<br />
According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections.<ref>[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]]</ref> There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the CWCville Trade Center Building.<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> Chandler is Mayor-for-Life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections.<br />
<br />
Contrary to this, he has insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]] (though [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville). <br />
<br />
The issue is further convoluted when Chris says that voting is strictly for the Board of Director Members<ref>[[Mailbag 37|Mailbag #37]]</ref>, though Chris shows that they still hold no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the Mayor is not obligated to listen to.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor]].]]<br />
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]<br />
<br />
The Mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. the [[Wikipedia:Kim Il Sung|Kim dynasty]] in North Korea, the [[Wikipedia:Pahlavi dynasty|Pahlavi dynasty]] in Iran, and the [[Wikipedia:Jean-Claude Duvalier|Duvalier]] [[Wikipedia:François Duvalier|dynasty]] in Haiti).<br />
<br />
It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship &mdash; in fact, all symbols of the old regime &mdash; have been erased (like the Roman practice of [[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|''damnatio memoriae'']], where all records of a traitor (statues, inscriptions, etc.) are erased after his death). It is unknown if Bob died before passing CWCville over to his son, as he has yet to be seen/mentioned in the comic.<br />
<br />
Chris originally planned to hand over the role of Mayor to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister Crystal]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref>, but later decided not to.<br />
<br />
On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville. The next day, Chris revoked his edict that made MAYS the new Mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]]. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[medallion]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS was still the Mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS died in his mayoral mansion, allegedly due to a cocaine overdose, but the hand of Chandler was suspected. The city was plunged into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [[Wikipedia:Doublethink|he was always the ruler]] and that there would be no further elections.<br />
<br />
The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random and [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was [[Chris's Big Night Out|rescinded]]. <br />
<br />
Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to oversee or contest a super-powered official, it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.<br />
<br />
Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remained at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].<br />
<br />
The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered, and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] are <ref>depowered</ref>, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] was murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], Sean, and [[Mao]] are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the Mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.<br />
<br />
CWCville also pays for the [[TrollBusters]]' private jet.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|CWCville currency]]<br />
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over: the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the Mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the Mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. [[Tobacco]], unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco-related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.<br />
<br />
CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, ten C-Quarters equaling one W-Quarter, indicating that [[Honor roll|Chris has no idea what "quarter" means]]. The W-Quarter is round and golden in color, with a silver-colored rim and the letter "W" in red in the center, while the C-Quarter is C-shaped and blue, with a silver-colored rim. Fines are levied in U.S. dollars, for unknown reasons: perhaps to add to the foreign currency reserves of the tottering dictatorship.<br />
<br />
As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], ten homeless shelters have been set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an population of 900-1,800 indigents, and come equipped with free cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20|Mailbag #20]]</ref> The Mayor's personal friends, such as [[Sonichu]], live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. He also supplied furniture for [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 21</ref><br />
<br />
Chris claims that the city has "a lot of [[Michael Snyder|jews]] and [[Inos|immigrants]], like new york," and is on the stock exchange.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Flora and fauna==<br />
[[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]<br />
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields. <br />
<br />
Zapbuds have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystem. Aside from [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu|"healing woes"]], relatively little is known about them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" in their name and electrical hazard symbols on their petals suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to take a piss in the middle of a zapbud field.<br />
<br />
Marijuana is grown in CWCville and is used recreationally [[Inos|by]] [[Yawning Squirtle|several]] [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|people]] but is punished by [[Book10Replacement|Draconian prison sentences]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]<br />
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]<br />
<br />
==Sauces==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]<br />
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyevn2-MU7I CWCville's National Anthem]<br />
<br />
{{CWCverse}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Fictional places]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Virginia_is_for_Virgins&diff=134705Virginia is for Virgins2011-02-18T21:31:57Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:VirginiaVirginsComic.jpg|thumb|right|Sign indicating "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS" with a [[Jerkop]] claiming that true love is illegal in Virginia. From [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].]]<br />
<br />
'''"Virginia is for Virgins"''' is one of [[Chris|Chris's]] many, many stupid theories. It is a corruption of the state department's slogan [[Wikipedia:Virginia is for Lovers|"Virginia is for Lovers"]], which is used in ads to promote tourism. <br />
<br />
In a fashion typical of a paranoid delusional personality, Chris literally thinks that every man, woman, and child in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], is taking part in a massive, Manhattan Project-style cover-up devoted solely to keeping him from getting any [[china]]. This idea was formulated after his sign was destroyed by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and Chris was told that he couldn't get a [[girlfriend]] by using a sign.<br />
<br />
[[Image:VirginiaIsForVirginsAd.jpg|thumb|LOL WUT?]]<br />
<br />
==Origins==<br />
In Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]], Chris explains how he came to believe that "Virginia is for Virgins":<br />
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of, I made a simple sign that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every Boyfriend-Free, 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a bunch of Non-Blue or Black impersonating [[JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH [[Heart level|LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART]] TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[jerks]] of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|Greene County School System]] during the childhood years of my life. Thank God for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}<br />
<br />
==Contradictions==<br />
While Chris states that Virginia "is for Virgins" only, people with an actual brain wind up with this question: how is it possible that our [[autism|autistic hero]] developed a [[noviophobia|hatred towards men]] in a state where [[hanky panky|true love]] is virtually forbidden? If lovers cannot stay together, how come [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] married? Does he imply that his parents don't actually love each other?<br />
<br />
It is possible that all the couples seen in Virginia are nothing more than holograms created by Mary Lee Walsh to taunt Christian, to eternally make him remember that no woman will ever free him from his [[virgin with rage|sexual frustrations]]. Either that, or it's just Chris who fails to realize that the problem of him not finding a [[sweetheart]] does not lie in the fact that the state where he lives is against romance, but because he's completely fucked up in his mind and is not willing to make any changes to improve himself.<br />
<br />
'''BUT WAIT!'''<br />
<br />
==Proof==<br />
These links provide irrefutable proof that it is illegal for Christian to ever have sex in Virginia. Read [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-61 here], and [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-346 here].<br />
<br />
Huh. Seems we were wrong about that after all, eh?<br />
<br />
==A case for state involvement in Chris's sexuality==<br />
Chris goes as far as believing that the government of Virginia should be involved in his quest for [[China]]. Just like the speech therapy he received at [[Chris's education#James Madison University|James Madison University]], he believes that he and his fellow social retards should receive special "[[Dating education|dating education]]" before receiving any form of sexual education. In his own words, from his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating Education|Wikipedia entry]]: "If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years".<br />
<br />
As if that weren't enough, Chris also believes that the government [[Monthly tugboat|should pay]] for him to get laid. In [[Mailbag 29|Mailbag #29]], Chris argues that virgins should be referred to state-sponsored [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|sex workers]] so they can lose their virginity. The fee, he reckons, should be set to $10 for an hour of service, including a thirty-minute crash course in sexual intercourse.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Chris and sex]]<br />
* [[Kick the Autistic]]<br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Emily&diff=134593Emily2011-02-17T03:46:36Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|70px|The only known image of Emily, shot from behind.]]<br />
<br />
'''Emily''' is [[Chris]]'s onetime [[sweetheart]] with whom he went on a date. The date memorably ended in disaster when he was trolled IRL by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]; literally.<br />
<br />
Emily's identity is zealously guarded by her friends, but needless to say, we can tell you she's female and has great legs. Some argue she's Asian, but those people are probably [[slow-in-the-minds]].<br />
<br />
==Chris's first date==<br />
In [[2009#March|March 2009]], shortly after [[Julie]] turned out to be a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris vowed that he would return to his real-life exploits of [[Attraction Sign|stalking women in public places]] in order to gain his [[sweetheart]]. Emily, a journalism student and head of the [[Sonichu Girls]] chapter at [[Wikipedia:West Virginia University|West Virginia University]] (and totally not a [[troll]]), decided to take Chris up on his offer and asked if he'd liked to go out to lunch sometime. <br />
<br />
Chris actually stood up Emily the first time, on 16 [[March 2009]], because he was so [[stress|stressed]] from his parents arguing over whether she was real or not. [[Bob]] believed that Emily was sincere and truly wanted to meet Chris, while [[Barb]] was more suspicious. Chris's small mind could not handle two simultaneous arguments and so he didn't go.<ref>[[Apology to Emily]]</ref> Emily was pissed off about this and demanded that Chris reschedule. Chris agreed and a new date was set.<br />
<br />
When Chris finally did meet up for the date (on 19 [[March 2009]] at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]), he brought his 81-year-old father, [[Bob Chandler]] along. Yes, he brought his dad on his first date. [[prom|At least it wasn't his mother.]]<br />
<br />
Chris would later confide to Ivy that he was very proud that he did not soil himself when talking to The Pickle Man.<br />
<br />
===Kiss fail===<br />
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|For reference, this is Chris in his kissing stance.]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Well, when I was going to ditch him for [[Man in the Pickle Suit|the man in the picklesuit]], Chris had his arm extended like he wanted a hug. So I was like, "sure, whatever" and was just going to give him a half assed hug. Lord, what a dumb move. I'm a small girl, so I have narrow shoulders. His large fucking arm basically weighed down around my neck over my shoulder and tightening, and what I could see in the corner of my eye was Chris puckering his lips and his face moving closer to mine. I did a [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|duck and turn]] to avoid it. If I seriously turned my head to get a better look, he may have well have gotten my lips. I wonder if that was what Chris was going for; the surprise kiss on the lips when the girl turns her head. Too bad that only works in [[anime]] and [[Netflix|movies]]. [[Liquid Chris|Or really suave guys]].|Emily}}<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
This short clip contains the only footage that exists.<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|cl2LUzQYQMM}}</center><br />
<br />
==Date conversation transcript==<br />
<br />
''See [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]].''<br />
<br />
==Post-date conversation transcript==<br />
<br />
<font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Sorry.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> What's up?<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> I think we need to talk.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Becau— It's not me, Chris. It's you. And, you know, I was just thinking about yesterday. I really didn't appreciate you, like, [[Megan|touching]] me all the time.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, what?<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> I di— I didn't appreciate you, like, constantly touching me, okay? You'd, like, just met me, and you were touching me constantly.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. I'm sorry.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> [''interrupting''] I mean, you should never do that to a woman on, like, you know, one that you just met. And especially when you try, like... You tried to kiss me, okay? That's not right at all.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm so sorry, I was a little nervous. I was nervous, a little bit.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Why would you try to kiss somebody when— If you're nervous? I mean, I thought, like, people would be nervous and ''not'' try to kiss somebody.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I don't—<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> But anyways. Let me tell you about—<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Anyway.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> You'll probably ne— You'll probably never hear from me again, Chris, because The Pickle Man was just— He was a perfect gentleman, okay? He, like, took me out on a date and paid for my movie, and, like, since he kept his hands off of me, he got, like, a little extra ''extra'' from me, and that could have been you, Chris. Okay? So— And then he took me to meet Clyde, and Clyde's, like, a perfect gentleman as well. So, I'm going to be living in his mansion from now on.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm... Anyway, did you get back to West Virginia okay?<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Yeah. Well, I didn't exactly go back to West Virginia; I'm going to be living with Clyde now, with, uh, with [[Julie]], and [[Blanca]], and [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], and everyone else, Chris. Do you understand?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I see.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Like, like, since... You don't understand, like, all the women that you've mistreated in the past, they're living with Clyde because he is rehabilitating them.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm... I see... [''pause''] Well, I don't know what to say.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> So, do you have anything else to say?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Umm... Well, this is the, uh... Well, uh, all I can say is, uh, I’m sorry about if you feel— If you feel— If I— That if I mistreated you, and, uh, somewhat, if you— If you felt like I, uh, did wrong.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Because I don't know why— Why you have, like against, like, these men in the...pickle suits or whatever. Because he was just a guy in a pickle suit. I don’t understand, like, what was so, like, threatening about him. And apparently, you, like, called the cops on him? I mean, what did he do wrong? How you gotta report him? Saying that, like, a guy in a pickle suit's, like, stole your date.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, I think in the past, uh, there, uh, yeah, Guy in The Pickle Suit posed as, uh, Blanca.<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> But, I mean—<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> And, uh...<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> You, like, didn’t know this guy, and you’re already passing judgment on him, and you’re already, like… You passed judgment on thi— On Clyde, okay? Clyde’s like, the nicest guy ever, okay? He is, like… He is gonna be, like, taking care of me for the rest of the li— Rest of my life. ‘Cause he is loaded with cash.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm...<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Hence why his last name is "Cash".<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> I see. Well, anyway, uh, if that’s what you want, uh, I can’t, uh, force you or anyth— Or anything else. So, uh—<br />
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> But, Chris, you should be careful [''Chris overlapping, indistinct'']. But you should be careful, Chris, on, like, all the women that you encounter, you better make sure that you treat them properly, do not touch them on the first date; don’t try to fucking kiss them, and, you know, you’ll have no problems, but if you do, you know, the pickle men will come and take them away, and take them to Clyde, and he is gonna take care of them for the rest of their lives as well.<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' </font>I see. Alright. Okay. Alright, well, you— You take care of yourself.<br />
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:'''</font> Hey, why don't you take care of yourself, too, Chris, okay?<br />
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.<br />
<br />
''For the second part of this audio, which is unrelated to Emily, see [[Hooker_incident|The Hooker Incident]].''<br />
<br />
==Hindsight==<br />
Chris no longer considers this a date. When speaking with others about it, he claims it was nothing more than meeting a fan, and even less of a date because he got trolled.{{cite}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations]<br />
<br />
{{Sweethearts}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sweethearts]]<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kacey_and_Liquid_Call&diff=134591Kacey and Liquid Call2011-02-17T03:37:23Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Fattus goddammus'' (Fat goddammit)]]<br />
<br />
On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].<br />
<br />
A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point Solid, loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match. <br />
<br />
[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt. <br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
<br />
===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====<br />
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.<br />
<br />
===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====<br />
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.<br />
<br />
===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====<br />
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.<br />
<br />
====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====<br />
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]] and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.<br />
<br />
====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====<br />
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.<br />
<br />
====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====<br />
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].<br />
<br />
===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====<br />
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.<br />
<br />
====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====<br />
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Or—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —y’know—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.</font> <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You complained—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I jog—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.</font><br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You’re right...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's not the point!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Those were real tears.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much. </font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And how you care about me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I care about you very much.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I worry about you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' In my defense—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.</font><br />
<br>[''dramatic pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello? ... Yeah—</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is what I think it is?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like you would know...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you are not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And, not only that...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I will.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them. </font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am there right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It is not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. Just saying.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Just shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you do not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am— You are not! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you are!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because he has... He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You have not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Well, good...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second. [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying <br />
hello<br />
.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What? What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' That's your fault!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not the liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Baby...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''unintelligible''] It was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']</font><br />
<br>[''tape runs out'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call|Final]]}}<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]<br />
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]<br />
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kacey_and_Liquid_Call&diff=134463Kacey and Liquid Call2011-02-15T05:59:00Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Fattus goddammus'' (Fat goddammit)]]<br />
<br />
On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].<br />
<br />
A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point Solid, loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match. <br />
<br />
[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt. <br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
<br />
===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====<br />
<br />
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.<br />
<br />
===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====<br />
<br />
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.<br />
<br />
===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====<br />
<br />
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing Pokémon with children counts as volunteer work.<br />
<br />
====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====<br />
<br />
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]] and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.<br />
<br />
====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====<br />
<br />
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.<br />
<br />
====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====<br />
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].<br />
<br />
===="Stop Being Crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====<br />
<br />
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.<br />
<br />
====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====<br />
<br />
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Or—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —y’know—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.</font> <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You complained—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I jog—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.</font><br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You’re right...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's not the point!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Those were real tears.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much. </font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And how you care about me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I care about you very much.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I worry about you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' In my defense—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.</font><br />
<br>[''dramatic pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello? ... Yeah—</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is what I think it is?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like you would know...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you are not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And, not only that...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I will.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them. </font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am there right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It is not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. Just saying.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Just shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you do not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am— You are not! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you are!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because he has... He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You have not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Well, good...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second. [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying <br />
hello<br />
.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What? What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' That's your fault!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not the liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Baby...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''unintelligible''] It was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']</font><br />
<br>[''tape runs out'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call|Final]]}}<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]<br />
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]<br />
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kacey_and_Liquid_Call&diff=134460Kacey and Liquid Call2011-02-15T05:21:11Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Fattus goddammus'' (Fat goddammit)]]<br />
<br />
On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].<br />
<br />
A follow up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4]], and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point Solid loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match. <br />
<br />
[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt. <br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
<br />
===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====<br />
<br />
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.<br />
<br />
===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====<br />
<br />
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.<br />
<br />
===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====<br />
<br />
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing Pokémon with children counts as volunteer work.<br />
<br />
====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====<br />
<br />
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]] and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.<br />
<br />
====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====<br />
<br />
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.<br />
<br />
====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====<br />
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].<br />
<br />
===="Stop Being Crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====<br />
<br />
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.<br />
<br />
====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====<br />
<br />
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Or—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —y’know—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.</font> <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You complained—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I jog—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.</font><br />
<br>[pause]<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You’re right...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's not the point!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.</font><br />
<br>[''pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.</font><br />
<br>[''long pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Those were real tears.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much. </font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And how you care about me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I care about you very much.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I worry about you—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' In my defense—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.</font><br />
<br>[''dramatic pause'']<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hmm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello? ... Yeah—</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is what I think it is?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Like you would know...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the, you are not Christian Weston, you are not me! You are not...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yes he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes I am! Yes I am! I have been the entire time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No you are not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And, not only that...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD! Go ahead and take it to the police.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I will.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to, you're trying to get off on my...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them. </font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's...I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the internets.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come, I invite you to, write this down. 14 Branchland Court...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that is, that is my address. You, you, you have never even been...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you're just...you already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me so you are...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know, are you tracking him, are you stalking him?</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am there right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No you are not, 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You are not, you are, you are not in that address!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C., it's right here! Where I'm standing!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, I am not interested, how many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia for a very long time now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, okay, hold it, stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now, you've been ignoring me the whole time and now you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah...no, you listen, you listen, you listen, hey, you listen to me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where he lives, not me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh, I am telling you right now, I am, I am telling you, this, this accusation of, of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that, it is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I, it just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' MY NAME, I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER! When are you going to...I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is, yes it is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It is not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It is!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes it is! And that is where, exactly where we were making passionate love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you...you, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey...yeah, okay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him, not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out''] ...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it, you know it, you know that I'm true, please, believe, please Kacey, don't do, don't do this...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before too. Not anything like grandma dying. Just saying.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy, okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Oh, yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are, you have always just been this naïve, because that's all, that's all you've ever been, just a...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family, I mean, my family hates you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Just shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay, well, you can have, okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah, shut up! Yeah!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...but you, but you, but I say, you know, but you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler, I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!</font> <br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.''] ...original copyright on the Sonichu!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you do not!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No you, no you are not! You are not! I am, I am, you are not! I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are not, you're just a nobody!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're, you're just a, you're, no, you're the, no, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers, until you prove it you have nothing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, geh, no, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you are!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not, you know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yes I am, I am!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I draw, I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He, he, but he does not have the same drawing style I's drew, I do, I showed you my, it was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it to. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I have!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because he has...he's only prete-, he's only pretending that, he's stealing me, he's stealing all that, he's just copying.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I, no I do care about you, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, you don't, stop the charade, we already know you're a liar Mr. Ian Brandon...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler, thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU KACEY! GOD!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the internet!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''Breaking down''] I have been honest and true.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You have not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Well, good...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off, he's still calling me that, God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second. [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What the...well, what's going on? You there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Who is this?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Kacey.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hello?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just, just lis-, just, that's my father, Robert Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him, he can't hear me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' What? What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Right now I just want him to, there, to talk to the, tell that Chris off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight, what in the world do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either, she can't talk, or cat's got her tongue.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk... [''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like one minute I'm talking to someone and the next minute I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Hold it right there, you don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was, I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their-they might be lying to you!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!</font><br />
<br><font color="#00AF33">'''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' That's your fault!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt, that's what I thought.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just, yeah, I knew you would, this entire time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP! Talk to you later Kacey, I love you, I do love you...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me, are you with me or are you with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby, are you with me, are we gonna get married?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you, why would he pretend to be you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' He's prete-, he's pretend, he's been a liar the whole time, you know it...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You, you are just a less worthy version of me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I sh-, I sh-, I showed you the certificate and the diploma!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this, you're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not the liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here, your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do, what do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just don't, I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' I mean you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television, all that, seems a lot more important to me, so I get it, don't worry, I get it.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you are important!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, I get it, apparently I'm not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I was trying to pro-, I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch, you didn't even defend me! You were just like, talk to her, talk to her, what was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to...that's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' You gotta, you gotta tell me, are you officially broken up with him?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now, listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later, and as for you Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR! Good night. [''Hangs up'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Baby...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!". I can't believe...oh my god Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD...That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' [''unintelligible''] It was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"</font><br />
<br><font color="sienna">'''Liquid:''' Yup...yup...yup</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]] [giggles]</font><br />
<br>[''tape runs out'']<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call|Final]]}}<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
<br />
*Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the call]<br />
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]]<br />
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134451Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-15T04:09:00Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO!!! NO, NO!!! DON'T!!! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does 'jizz' mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134449Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-15T04:06:31Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO!!! NO, NO!!! DON'T!!! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134448Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-15T04:05:10Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134412Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-15T00:15:33Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134410Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T23:35:58Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134406Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T23:15:35Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134404Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:56:34Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Burn your house down (35:20-37:50) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134403Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:53:53Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134402Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:49:34Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134400Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:41:03Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just— <br />
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Goddammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134396Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:16:15Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134395Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:13:18Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134394Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:12:18Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134393Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:11:09Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh, what, what, in the butt?!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134390Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T22:01:16Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134389Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:48:21Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134386Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:45:51Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===No, Julie, Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y-we had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You-you help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm, I'm begging, I'm begging you, I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick, and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself, I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance, for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [makes shuffling sounds]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134385Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:44:31Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the... It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===No, Julie, Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y-we had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You-you help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm, I'm begging, I'm begging you, I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick, and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself, I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance, for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [makes shuffling sounds]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134384Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:37:53Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duck point (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do, mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man? You fucking pussy. Come on. No, no, "but" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch, you stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there, you ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of... ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! Ok. Ok. Ok. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo... fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just, just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh-, selling, selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it any more, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmoe can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay, no, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of Ebay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's, it's already on Ebay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute? There's something behind you, move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the...it's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===No, Julie, Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y-we had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You-you help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm, I'm begging, I'm begging you, I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick, and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself, I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance, for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [makes shuffling sounds]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134382Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:36:20Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Stress sigh|''sigh'']] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duck point (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do, mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man? You fucking pussy. Come on. No, no, "but" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch, you stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there, you ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of... ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! Ok. Ok. Ok. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo... fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just, just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh-, selling, selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it any more, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmoe can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay, no, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of Ebay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's, it's already on Ebay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute? There's something behind you, move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the...it's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===No, Julie, Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y-we had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You-you help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm, I'm begging, I'm begging you, I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick, and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself, I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance, for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [makes shuffling sounds]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134380Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:35:22Z<p>TarsTarkas: Grammatical Clean-up</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[[Stress sigh|''sigh'']]] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duck point (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do, mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man? You fucking pussy. Come on. No, no, "but" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch, you stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there, you ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of... ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! Ok. Ok. Ok. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo... fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just, just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh-, selling, selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it any more, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmoe can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay, no, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of Ebay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's, it's already on Ebay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute? There's something behind you, move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the...it's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===No, Julie, Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y-we had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You-you help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm, I'm begging, I'm begging you, I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick, and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself, I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance, for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [makes shuffling sounds]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Julie_Reveals_Herself&diff=134366Julie Reveals Herself2011-02-14T21:15:46Z<p>TarsTarkas: /* Description */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Chandler, hello!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hello.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Tell me!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Picked [[Julie]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie, or everything else.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait, what you say, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba—what you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get—you want me to get angry, I got angry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a—you're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes! eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why should I stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''[[Stress sigh|sigh]]''] Stop. I want Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not, no, no, no. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No matter how many times you say no like that, it's not going to change it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''muffled''] ermahomo...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Eithe—then say it louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No, no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. You have got—No no no! No, don't you dare!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking... whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong, prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild—are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna—you're, you're just, you just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! No! No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno, look, look, look—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen, look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay dot com.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I, I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme, gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright fine, listen, listen—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Start auction...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No stop, stop, just listen to me, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Starting bid... a hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can have it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But just, but just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Okay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just, just leave it off eBay please!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please just don't sell it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty gigabyte, it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh... no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Let's see...I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Where's my phone, oh here it is. [''dials'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Listen, listen, you, you, you keep my account, okay, you keep my account and—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake and he's going to defile your name.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, leave it off, no, no. No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that, they're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No just stop just sto—p!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder, why don't you yell, why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You, you yell like a pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh, wait, I do because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Suck my dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' How can I do you—how can I do yours when you're all the way over there?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[the GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]], and I want you to record it, and put it on [[YouTube]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Aaaaah. Please, don't be, don't be such a meanie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright, listen, just listen.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Listen to what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Max, Max you are a great being, you are, you're a humble person, please. I'm only a lowly—I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... uh...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I only ask you, I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have, you can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' But listen, I—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, stop, look, I'm putting myself—I'm putting yourself on your mercy here, please just leave my, just leave it off of eBay!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you—stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't, no, don't, oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey Chris, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Chris holds Max at Duck point (11:16-14:00)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to do, mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man? You fucking pussy. Come on. No, no, "but" nothing, you're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch, you stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there, you ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of... ovaries... NO! NO, NO! DON'T! Ok. Ok. Ok. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo... fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just, just don't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh-, selling, selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well its going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' It's going on eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You cross that line...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it any more, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmoe can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, okay, no, listen, stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You take it off of Ebay and I'll pull my pants back up—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. It's, it's already on Ebay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute? There's something behind you, move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What is it then?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's the...it's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait. What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time it's going on eBay for a dollar.</font><br />
<br />
===No, Julie, Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y-we had an agreement. I picked Julie!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No! You-you help her over here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm, I'm begging, I'm begging you, I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick, and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How about, Chris—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself, I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I can't even see you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance, for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [makes shuffling sounds]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion, and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or, no, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I might—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What about Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN, then you won't get Julie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you shithead, I'm not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one, one more thing? Hey Chris, I want—I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Jizz?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and, oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Wait a minute. What does "jizz" mean?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, "what does jizz mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly, really quickly Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Who the Hell is he? </font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long pause'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more silence'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, autism, mental block. What, what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides soldier.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN any more. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Go ahead.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br />
===Medallion, Jizz or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want...or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That's a good boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, if you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs, "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville jail."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of... [[Niggos|nnniggos]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers," you stupid twat.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggers.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... don't trust them new niggers over there!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that fucking joke. Now, Chris. I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it please...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I know, I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Just the opposite!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, yeah, uh, yeah, men's balls, sorry, men's balls.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I—that's not the opposite too.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT—YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your, you're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt, oh oh, what what, in the butt!</font><br />
<br />
===Losing the plot (20:40-22:03)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned. You fucking dick, I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER! Oh, and after, after you, uh, after you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt, make your choice. [''silence''] Ahh, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy, it's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess, hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap... or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''rustling'']</font><br />
<br />
===Wut wut? (22:03-35:20)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh, you have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1-oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me Chris, I have to tell you one thing first, you have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now you have an alternative: either burn it, or shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're gonna... you're going to shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative... that's just about as good as one or the other.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You're going to see this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the, what are you going to show me? No, no, no, no, if you burn it I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't. Do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... but I have to divide it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, and don't, and don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Actually Chris, Chris, no, no, no, I decided, yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky, you have to cut it up first, so yeah, you can pull your pants right up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh, no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, me? I'm heartless?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help, call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You suck. You suck... nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know, I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes." I'll call him. Hey Darnell, Darnell, come over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said NO!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm, I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said, I said, I said NO.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No you didn't, I, I heard yes, Darnell, Darnell, I think he said "yes." He said "yes," Darnell. Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt, whatever. Darnell's going to watch though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this, also while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So, wait, you're recording this too?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it, AND you're showing it live. Really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, the camera saw you cutting?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, that's... wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt, can you say one thing?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' After you do this, yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Up your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!" okay? You have to do this or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there and while you do it say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man, it's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh! God it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh Goddammit. Oh Goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Maybe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, really. Tell me the, tell me the truth. Did you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Whatever, just, just, yeah, put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh... goodness. This is... Just, just, just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up, shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE! Yes, yes. Please! Please do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How miserable?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Totally miserable.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh really?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''grunting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just, just, just shut up. Shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I said shut up, don't, don't even ruin Chewbacca.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err, oh God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE! NO. MORE.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Brown stain Sonichu, with the power to cha-</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll 2:''' Bluespike, stop that shit.<br />
<br>'''Troll 3:''' This is awful.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike, stop this shit.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Stop?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, sure.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''groan'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Don't take 'em out though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' One second.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, let him...<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yo Chris, this is what I strive for, watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, Bluespike. God damn.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Be right back, excuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No no no, you can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands I will not send Julie to Europe.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.</font><br />
<br />
===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Really? How terrible?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, this is enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, no, no, you're not the one making the choices.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots. You fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do. What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What do I want to do?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah, no, no, no, I mean, what could you do that might amuse me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I have a good idea Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Actually I just thought of something.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, no, I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't, I told you I can't, I could not find any matches at this time.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the—go to the store and get some matches then.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No! Shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up! I have a good idea. Burn your house down.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' God dammit, you idiot!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down then we, then she won't have a place to come to.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris there is something, there is something...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Bluespike. Stop it.<br />
<br />
===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===<br />
<font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]], Julie's going to talk to you there.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Ten points.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.<br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Then use the PSeye, that's the only chance you have.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not, I'm gonna tell Julie, I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure its you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PS Eye]], get the PS Eye...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PS Eye, you don't shut up.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PS Eye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You better. Or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No. Just sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PS Eye. Alright?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure it works before you come in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You're a bitch.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find, I'm just trying to do a, I just proving I can do most anything for my true love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin', alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There we go.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you, tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing, I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Does it work?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware, it's waiting to find software for this hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Software for the hardware?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said, software for the hardware.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Yes...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work, the ''Hey You Pikachu!'' mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' At this time I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Chris? Chris!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could, it could fall on to me any second!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the, I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' There.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Fine.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Apology accepted?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here, I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm working on it!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hold on a second.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio wizard?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I got something working.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' What would that be?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' A mike.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' So it's working?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br />
===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===<br />
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna put my earphones on.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Hi.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey!</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Um, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Julie?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, go ahead and tell me now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' C'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' No. I can't.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you, just now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Why, what happened?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?</font><br />
<br>'''Female troll:''' Blue, he's not there.<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Fuck!</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Give him some time.<br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I came back now, I won-, I wonder what happened there.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' I don't know. But this is...can you talk with the [[fans]] for. like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' Actually, no, no, I'm ready to tell you.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay.</font><br />
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been</font> <font color="#D44942">having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' What?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now wait a minute—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I did not, I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll le-</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now, no, no, no, no, wait a minute. Wait. Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip, now I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... yes. Please do speak.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I feel terrible.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you, if you really want your self-dignity, if you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' So what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this, I take a—</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait, first of all, Clyde.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' What up?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was, I expected a bit more of a shitstorm, that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] A [[boyfriend-free girl]]! Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hello, hello Chris, on that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone, we were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' ...there was, but she died.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she was actually in Ohio, but...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris, about the wildfires I told you about, that truly was the one you started now.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy, I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I thought, I thought she, I thought...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' You just sound, I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up and let me talk to him, shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want, do you want your PSN back?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Yes.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay, I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow. But it was all fake. It was all, all fake.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker, shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no Sonichu fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm listening.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times, what is this, the ninth time so far?</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever.</font> [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']<br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie, you disgust me...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account you fucking dick!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your, what's left of your fans, at least...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I'm not crying!</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' I am not!</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike, you're a little too mean... well, whatever.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris, I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also...oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...</font><br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times. And you still believed...</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"</font><br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.</font><br />
<br><font color="#D44942">'''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.</font><br />
<br>'''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.<br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Can I... stop the recording now?<br />
<br>[''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|Duke Nukem]] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".''] <br />
<br>'''Female Troll:''' Stop stop stop stop... Can I stop recording?<br />
<br>[''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hqlzmjlmuty MP3 of the audio.]<br />
<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Butt_garments&diff=134194Butt garments2011-02-13T22:39:04Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Butt garments''' is a CWC-ism for diapers. Used to prevent [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].<br />
<br />
On 16 April 2009, images of Chris in some butt garments leaked, with a special shout-out to spas from [[Sonichu (IRC channel)|#sonichu]]. Chris later stated in [[ECV 00095]] that the diapers were sent to him by a [[troll]]. According to Ivy's ghost, Barbara mistook them for samples of adult diapers sent by Chris's doctor, who had been trying to convince Chris to start wearing them.<br />
<br />
Chris hated the idea of wearing diapers, and made multiple attempts to throw out the diapers before Barb caught on and hid them away in her room.<br />
<br />
After Ivy found out that Chris was cheating on him with Vanessa Hudgens, one of her friends suggested that he take the photos below to apologize to Ivy. The front reads "TOO HOT FOR COLLECTION," in case you don't want to stare at it for too long. This appears to have been the last time they were ever mentioned. Presumably, they are still sitting around Barbara's bedroom.<br />
<br />
He probably calls them "butt garments" to avoid the embarrassment of wearing diapers, despite the fact that he desperately needs them.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:Ecp00063.jpg<br />
Image:HelloSpas.jpg<br />
Image:Ecp00065.jpg<br />
Image:Ecp00066.jpg<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]<br />
<br />
{{stub}}<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]</div>TarsTarkashttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Don%27tPintheOop&diff=134191Don'tPintheOop2011-02-13T22:32:24Z<p>TarsTarkas: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''"Don'tPintheOop"''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris gives a shout out to Gulliver, a relative of [[Jackie]]. He then discusses the matter of pooping himself and the resulting [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty underwear]]. It is discovered in this video that he has actually crapped himself in public on multiple occasions, not just at his house. Finally, he announces the upcoming execution of [[Clyde Cash]], and how crapping his pants isn't as bad as having [[Racist|"orange faces"]].<br />
<br />
Chris also mentions his [[computer]] being "[[PS3|busted]]" and that he is [[Monthly Tugboat|"going to get a new one."]] He has also replaced the white tape that used to hold his [[pedoglasses]] together with a homemade Crayola Fuckin' Model Magic nosepiece.<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Don'tPintheOop<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|U-ddcMAc0gc}}<br />
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]<br />
| subject = {{Other|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[FullHouse]]<br />
| next = [[ShowerClean]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|So not really a big deal. I mean, the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench.}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
''[Chris is wearing blue taped glasses and holding a red clipboard.]''<br />
<br />
Hello, this is a video dedicated to a…<br />
<br />
''[Chris looks at the clipboard.]''<br />
<br />
…Gulliver. It's a shout-out to him, a relative of a girl, uh, of the woman I'm seeing. You know, it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants. Hey, I know I've had my accidents! They're mostly [[stress]]-induced!<br />
<br />
''[Chris pauses and appears to hold in a burp.]''<br />
<br />
And specifically of a recent event I had a near— I had a near inci— near accident. I just really felt it bad in my gut. And I'll tell you what caused it. It was the risk of losing my— losin' my girlfriend here because of, uh, things, cause of minor indifferences, especially a bein' able— me being unable to get on the PC because it's been busted. Lookin' ta get a new one. And I am going to get a new one.<br />
<br />
But anyway, almost did, but fortun'ly, I was able to make it home in time. But there was another time where I actually— where I actually did happen to be where I pooped my pants in public. It was just stressed-sisduced an' it could be held, it just came out quick. I mean, it was a very uncomforable ride home that day. But I managed to hold my— ta' keep my cool and cleaned myself out after I got back home. So not really a big deal. I mean, the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench. But yeah, don't think of us as different, 's just something we gotta take care of ourselves because we can't right now. But we will take care of it when we get home or when we get to the nearest restroom.<br />
<br />
And you know if you're tall— if you're tall enough to get over, just squat over a commode in the men's room then wipe yourself, maybe wipe your underpants, too. I have done that before myself. I actually done that in a public restroom. I mean, yeah, if you can't make it home in time and you can't make it into a restroom either, you can just squat and clean yourself. That's the best thing to go for there.<br />
<br />
Hey, I mean at least our faces are not fuckin' orange…<br />
<br />
''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''<br />
<br />
…like a certain Cashey Clyde that I know.<br />
<br />
''[Chris puts his glasses back on.]''<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for an [[DivineTrial|execution of him in a future video!]]<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[FullHouse]]|nextlink=[[ShowerClean1]]}}<br />
{{Sweetheart Videos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category: Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30]]<br />
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30]]<br />
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30]]</div>TarsTarkas