CWCki - User contributions [en]

Christian Weston Chandler

2012-04-13T23:59:15Z

Team CWCket: It's not vandalism, as confirmed by numerous admins Chris is no longer a virgin.

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]] Great Director Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 30)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid) [[Virgin]] ([[1982]])-([[2012]])
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Art|artistic]] [[plagiarism|inspiration]] lost with [[Health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[copyrights|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[autistic]] ex-30 year old [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty years old, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube Chris and he later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality. His Love Quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.

In [[April 2012]], Chris finally lost his virginity.
{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2012-04-13T18:12:47Z

Team CWCket: /* Chris today */

File talk:V4z2bb.png

2012-04-13T09:29:51Z

Team CWCket:

...wait, so does this mean Chris didn't have sex? or is he saying he did but not with a prostitute...--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 22:34, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:It means he did but people are so desperate to not acknowledge this that they're photoshopping fake evidence like this to avoid facing the truth.--[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 02:29, 13 April 2012 (PDT)

Template talk:Da update

2012-04-12T21:17:45Z

Team CWCket: /* EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS */

==Three videos from the 12th==
Why are they not here? We have Chris singing, Chris out in public with actual sunlight, and making a dumb as fuck comment, that is what an update is, my friends. You may be saying "But Champthom, why haven't you?" and I say to you "NO U!" Seriously, stuff should go on this template first before it ends up on the CWChronology. Srsly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 15 July 2009 (CEST)

==Gardening==
Did a little gardening by removing a few of the posts from this template. It was taking up quite a bit of room on the main page.

Remember to add to both [[Da Update]] and the corresponding month and vice versa, sometimes this doesn't happen. [[User:Granola|Granola]] 02:11, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

== Da update versus CWCipediaTracker ==

People, please, given the status of the CWCipedia, all CWCipedia related updates belong in the [[:Template:CWCipediaTracker|CWCipedia Tracker]] whereas things like new videos, leaked material, etc. belong here in Da update.

Seriously, I am disappoint. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:36, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
* I think a lot of that is my fault. I didn't understand the difference; I assumed they overlapped. Sorry about that. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 15:17, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

== A book? ==

Chris is seriously writing a book? That can't be true. Also, he mentions that one of his "gal friends" is helping him write it. This has got to be one of Chris's lies. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:04, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Maybe he's getting over ''Sonichu'' even if he promised a super-duper issue for the tenth anniversary of the Fail-Comic. As far as the "Lady-Friend" goes, we saw her in a previous video. (Hint; she's inflatable). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:31, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:::I feel sorry for [[Kimmi]]. She is always dragged into Chris's bullshit and she is unable to object to it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
*Guys, [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Stuff like this doesn't belong here. There's other places to discuss this like [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/25081.html this Krapple thread] or something like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:20, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

== It should be obvious but ==

Only Chris related updates belong here.

Shit like [[Sonichu: The Animated Series]] can go on the [[Fan:Index]].

Srsly, don't pull this shit again or else someone is getting banned. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:46, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

== Important something which I will delete in a minute ==
Damnit, how do I get to the cwcipedia tracker? Mailbag 60 is up. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*I got it covered. In future, when you edit the main page, it'll give a link to the templates used on the main page at the bottom. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:08, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

==Suggested Update==
Someone added Sydney getting busted to the months events, so did we want to add it here?

Suggestion: In a rare win for Chris, the manchild identifies and shoots down a [[Sydney Contacts|troll]] based off information garnered from the troll forums.

--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:45, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I assume that you told nobody of your plan to pose as a girl with the intent of getting him to answer the Mailbag again. It wasn't any moment of clarity, he just had you mixed up with Jackie.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:07, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*I am firmly 'No Comment'ing anything that relates to how, precisely, Sydney's cover was blown. Sorry mate. If you are desperate to know, you should know where to go to ask. PS <3 your rambles, FYI. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:04, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

== 17 June ==

Chris just returned to Twitter. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:04, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

:Is there a reason you're putting this on the talk page instead of the actual template? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 01:30, 18 July 2010 (UTC)
::<del>Template's locked.</del> Now for some reason it's open again. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:32, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

== Template locked ==

For the mall waiting video I think we should take the 'money' part out to avoid suspicion and revert it to 'unknown reason'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 17:20, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*Why? I thought CWCki was against censorship. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 17:27, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
**You need to unlock the template... [[Clyde_and_Tito_PS3_E-mails]] needs to be added...
**If we show that we know what Chris was waiting for, it could harm a very promising saga. I thought this was one of the things that we would keep quiet for now until it's safe to let Chris know that we be trollin'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 23:42, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
***Ohh... I see. I GUESS that makes sense, but the article is definitely on the CWCki and linked from quite a few pages. He might just search for it and find it anyway... but knowing Chris, that's not too likely. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 05:26, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== I found something. ==

As of now on the Rule 34 Pahael site they have the picture of sailor moon Chris-chan as the featured image. Is this notable? Anyone care? [[User:No.|Written by this person.]] 15:30, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:It's already been uploaded and added to the [[Sailor Moon]] article. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 15:36, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== Is there a reason for a lack of new update notices? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:43, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:I had a stab at it. With so many leaked documents recently, it's easy to forget about da update =) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:06, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Notability and Da update ==

What makes something worthy of being included in Da update? If something's worth mentioning on the [[July 2011|monthly chronology]], wouldn't it also warrant a mention on Da update? I'm thinking specifically of the entry "21 July: Chris reveals his identity in a Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post." from [[July 2011|here]].

== 'Where no shit is too minor.' ==
Why was the phone message update deleted? It was quite relevant if you think about it, as he sounded legitimately unwell. It is worth at least some discussion. --[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 06:48, 9 December 2011 (PST)
: One word; Liability. I believe there's legal consequences in linking this material here. Now that the Virginian justice system is dealing with Chris, better not putting a lightning rod on top of this site. If Chris is dumb enough to not try to close the CWCki, Rocky is another matter. Download the audio and stash it, just don't post it here. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:53, 9 December 2011 (PST)
::I think he means the answering machine thing. The reason that's not up here is just because it's not "big" enough. Quite a few people only check the CWCki to look at the update. What goes in the update should be big enough to pique their interest. "Chris says he's sick" isn't good enough. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 07:58, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:: What the heck did Griffintown thing he meant? Feel free to say you can't say... but what the heck was up here that would have been considered a 'liability'? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:42, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:::There's an audio file out there with Rocky talking about Chris. It's on the /cwc/ and I thought we were talking about this audio. As far as the answering machine's message goes, it doesn't fit on the update page. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:56, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:We also lack an exact date of when he changed the message. It may have been that way for a while. The liability thing is not an issue - it's more than beyond the scope of the court proceedings. But yeah - the main point is - no shit is to minor re: the CWCki in general - but Da update bulletins are reserved for significant developments, such as the release of new material (by Chris or about Chris from true trolls) or events that involve Chris or a major actor in his life so far. A dry spell for Chris news is not an excuse to lower the bar of what's significant and what isn't. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:35, 9 December 2011 (PST)
I was the one who added the message to the template, and I understand why it was removed. I do apologize. [[User:Interrobang|Interrobang]] 13:26, 9 December 2011 (PST)

== Is this new or not? ==

http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Weston-Chandler/100002534669114

It's most likely a troll account, but I've never seen that picture before. --[[User:R3trogay|R3trogay]] 10:10, 26 January 2012 (PST)
:Either it's Chris or it's someone DELIBERATELY HOARDING CONTENT and then leaking it for no reason. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 10:21, 26 January 2012 (PST)
*It's the same account that was accredited to be Chris's last time he made one...he just updated the photo for his profile and made a note in september. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 16:43, 26 January 2012 (PST)
**this IS chris however its not going on Da Update because chris DOES read the front page and dont want him to close his FB account [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 05:03, 27 January 2012 (PST)

== Recent events ==

Dear old [[User:MellowColor|MellowColor]], perhaps the simplest of us all, is the first of you to ask the burning question - why isn't the new content, like Facebook and the Lemonade Stand thing, on Da update? Personally, I think these are significant developments that should be notified on Da update. After all, Da update is why most people come here - they'll come to see what's new with Chris. I think we should point out that yes, there is new content and Chris is up to his usual hijinks. Now of course, I understand why people have been reluctant to add it - they're afraid that Chris will see it, and stop posting stuff on Facebook and such. I can see that it'd be imprudent, but should we be concerned with Chris producing content? I personally don't like using the CWCki as a trolling tool, including censoring ourselves in order to get more content from Chris. But that's mostly my opinion though.

So what say you all? Should we perhaps have a [[Wikipedia:Media blackout|media blackout]] of sorts? Should we lock this template until Chris is producing content again? I've thought of adding something along the lines of "This template is currently in lockdown mode, please check Recent changes for up-to-date news" but of course that'll just mean Chris will start checking out Recent updates (though he'd have to go through the effort of picking out what's new). Should we raise the bar on what constitutes an update? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:19, 23 February 2012 (PST)
:I think while Chris is less active, we should lower the bar to a certain extent. It's not that we are desperate for Da Update to be updated all the time - but minor things can sometimes lead up to larger events, so Da Update can also serve as a "heads up" kind of system. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:56, 23 February 2012 (PST)

==EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS==

I'm getting several notificiations a minute about new edits and it's fucking with my down time. Talk it out here or somewhere else rather than just undoing one anothers' edits. Preferably with several minutes between posts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 12:21, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:Those who have access to Chris' Facebook have confirmed that the update is genuine, those who are in a position to confirm it on the ground have confirmed it. What more is required?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:58, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::How was it confirmed, exactly? Did they talk to the girl he fucked? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 13:07, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::All I've seen of confirmation is Cogdev's twitter that the post is legit. I've yet to see a confirmation that Chris actually had sex with anyone, which is how the articles were written. Not to mention that the word of trolls has never been extremely reliable (see Ali Baboo or whatever his name was), it could be a joke for all we know.

::Waiting a few days for more confirmation (if it exists) is a good idea at this point. If no more comes of this, it should probably be left off the CWCki entirely in my opinion. If others disagree or if no confirmation exists that Chris actually had sex, we should write the articles accordingly, i.e. say Chris claims to have had sex, not just assuming that Chris actually told the truth for once. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 13:12, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:::What form of confirmation would work for you?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 13:31, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::Confirmation from multiple users who have shown to be reliable in the past. Screenshots from other users. An actual picture (as in from a camera) or video of the facebook account or anything harder to fake. Something from the facebook of someone who we know is actually in contact with him, etc. One easily photoshopped picture really isn't much to go on.
::::Hell, Cogs or another admin could come on and tell us to keep it up and then it would stay. But that email from the Gameplace incident didn't go up for quite a while because it wasn't verifiable, this is no different. This is more an ED sort of thing until we get more info. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 13:56, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::I think you have a good point with the GAMePLACe email. From my understanding, that one didn't come through 'regular' channels, meaning it took longer than normal to verify, but I think having something more to go on would be useful. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:04, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::Chris actually had sex. That's what the cwcki should say. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 13:45, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::With what I said above in mind, is there any way you can get a screencap that isn't so heavily cropped and/or uses the standard FaceBook font? I think one of the main reasons this has been doubted so far is because it LOOKS fake. All the other FaceBook screencaps have been in a standard format to which this screencap doesn't adhere. If you could get that, I think it would do a lot to assuage peoples' doubts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:04, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::Uhh, maybe. But either way, Chris having gotten laid should be cwcki policy from now on. I think I have the authority to do that, right? I'm pretty sure I'm in the admin group. If not, I'll just find champ or cogs and have them do it. But I'm pretty sure I'm in the admin group. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:10, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::If Canine is considered a good enough source (if he isn't he should be) would it be alright for me to revert the relevant edits? Or would people prefer me to wait until a better screenshot is provided? (The old one can always stay up as a placeholder before being replaced by a new one.)[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 14:17, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Template talk:Da update

2012-04-12T20:31:19Z

Team CWCket: /* EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS */

Template talk:Da update

2012-04-12T19:58:41Z

Team CWCket: /* EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS */

==Three videos from the 12th==
Why are they not here? We have Chris singing, Chris out in public with actual sunlight, and making a dumb as fuck comment, that is what an update is, my friends. You may be saying "But Champthom, why haven't you?" and I say to you "NO U!" Seriously, stuff should go on this template first before it ends up on the CWChronology. Srsly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 15 July 2009 (CEST)

==Gardening==
Did a little gardening by removing a few of the posts from this template. It was taking up quite a bit of room on the main page.

Remember to add to both [[Da Update]] and the corresponding month and vice versa, sometimes this doesn't happen. [[User:Granola|Granola]] 02:11, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

== Da update versus CWCipediaTracker ==

People, please, given the status of the CWCipedia, all CWCipedia related updates belong in the [[:Template:CWCipediaTracker|CWCipedia Tracker]] whereas things like new videos, leaked material, etc. belong here in Da update.

Seriously, I am disappoint. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:36, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
* I think a lot of that is my fault. I didn't understand the difference; I assumed they overlapped. Sorry about that. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 15:17, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

== A book? ==

Chris is seriously writing a book? That can't be true. Also, he mentions that one of his "gal friends" is helping him write it. This has got to be one of Chris's lies. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:04, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Maybe he's getting over ''Sonichu'' even if he promised a super-duper issue for the tenth anniversary of the Fail-Comic. As far as the "Lady-Friend" goes, we saw her in a previous video. (Hint; she's inflatable). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:31, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:::I feel sorry for [[Kimmi]]. She is always dragged into Chris's bullshit and she is unable to object to it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
*Guys, [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Stuff like this doesn't belong here. There's other places to discuss this like [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/25081.html this Krapple thread] or something like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:20, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

== It should be obvious but ==

Only Chris related updates belong here.

Shit like [[Sonichu: The Animated Series]] can go on the [[Fan:Index]].

Srsly, don't pull this shit again or else someone is getting banned. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:46, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

== Important something which I will delete in a minute ==
Damnit, how do I get to the cwcipedia tracker? Mailbag 60 is up. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*I got it covered. In future, when you edit the main page, it'll give a link to the templates used on the main page at the bottom. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:08, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

==Suggested Update==
Someone added Sydney getting busted to the months events, so did we want to add it here?

Suggestion: In a rare win for Chris, the manchild identifies and shoots down a [[Sydney Contacts|troll]] based off information garnered from the troll forums.

--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:45, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I assume that you told nobody of your plan to pose as a girl with the intent of getting him to answer the Mailbag again. It wasn't any moment of clarity, he just had you mixed up with Jackie.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:07, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*I am firmly 'No Comment'ing anything that relates to how, precisely, Sydney's cover was blown. Sorry mate. If you are desperate to know, you should know where to go to ask. PS <3 your rambles, FYI. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:04, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

== 17 June ==

Chris just returned to Twitter. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:04, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

:Is there a reason you're putting this on the talk page instead of the actual template? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 01:30, 18 July 2010 (UTC)
::<del>Template's locked.</del> Now for some reason it's open again. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:32, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

== Template locked ==

For the mall waiting video I think we should take the 'money' part out to avoid suspicion and revert it to 'unknown reason'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 17:20, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*Why? I thought CWCki was against censorship. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 17:27, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
**You need to unlock the template... [[Clyde_and_Tito_PS3_E-mails]] needs to be added...
**If we show that we know what Chris was waiting for, it could harm a very promising saga. I thought this was one of the things that we would keep quiet for now until it's safe to let Chris know that we be trollin'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 23:42, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
***Ohh... I see. I GUESS that makes sense, but the article is definitely on the CWCki and linked from quite a few pages. He might just search for it and find it anyway... but knowing Chris, that's not too likely. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 05:26, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== I found something. ==

As of now on the Rule 34 Pahael site they have the picture of sailor moon Chris-chan as the featured image. Is this notable? Anyone care? [[User:No.|Written by this person.]] 15:30, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:It's already been uploaded and added to the [[Sailor Moon]] article. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 15:36, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== Is there a reason for a lack of new update notices? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:43, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:I had a stab at it. With so many leaked documents recently, it's easy to forget about da update =) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:06, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Notability and Da update ==

What makes something worthy of being included in Da update? If something's worth mentioning on the [[July 2011|monthly chronology]], wouldn't it also warrant a mention on Da update? I'm thinking specifically of the entry "21 July: Chris reveals his identity in a Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post." from [[July 2011|here]].

== 'Where no shit is too minor.' ==
Why was the phone message update deleted? It was quite relevant if you think about it, as he sounded legitimately unwell. It is worth at least some discussion. --[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 06:48, 9 December 2011 (PST)
: One word; Liability. I believe there's legal consequences in linking this material here. Now that the Virginian justice system is dealing with Chris, better not putting a lightning rod on top of this site. If Chris is dumb enough to not try to close the CWCki, Rocky is another matter. Download the audio and stash it, just don't post it here. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:53, 9 December 2011 (PST)
::I think he means the answering machine thing. The reason that's not up here is just because it's not "big" enough. Quite a few people only check the CWCki to look at the update. What goes in the update should be big enough to pique their interest. "Chris says he's sick" isn't good enough. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 07:58, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:: What the heck did Griffintown thing he meant? Feel free to say you can't say... but what the heck was up here that would have been considered a 'liability'? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:42, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:::There's an audio file out there with Rocky talking about Chris. It's on the /cwc/ and I thought we were talking about this audio. As far as the answering machine's message goes, it doesn't fit on the update page. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:56, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:We also lack an exact date of when he changed the message. It may have been that way for a while. The liability thing is not an issue - it's more than beyond the scope of the court proceedings. But yeah - the main point is - no shit is to minor re: the CWCki in general - but Da update bulletins are reserved for significant developments, such as the release of new material (by Chris or about Chris from true trolls) or events that involve Chris or a major actor in his life so far. A dry spell for Chris news is not an excuse to lower the bar of what's significant and what isn't. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:35, 9 December 2011 (PST)
I was the one who added the message to the template, and I understand why it was removed. I do apologize. [[User:Interrobang|Interrobang]] 13:26, 9 December 2011 (PST)

== Is this new or not? ==

http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Weston-Chandler/100002534669114

It's most likely a troll account, but I've never seen that picture before. --[[User:R3trogay|R3trogay]] 10:10, 26 January 2012 (PST)
:Either it's Chris or it's someone DELIBERATELY HOARDING CONTENT and then leaking it for no reason. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 10:21, 26 January 2012 (PST)
*It's the same account that was accredited to be Chris's last time he made one...he just updated the photo for his profile and made a note in september. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 16:43, 26 January 2012 (PST)
**this IS chris however its not going on Da Update because chris DOES read the front page and dont want him to close his FB account [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 05:03, 27 January 2012 (PST)

== Recent events ==

Dear old [[User:MellowColor|MellowColor]], perhaps the simplest of us all, is the first of you to ask the burning question - why isn't the new content, like Facebook and the Lemonade Stand thing, on Da update? Personally, I think these are significant developments that should be notified on Da update. After all, Da update is why most people come here - they'll come to see what's new with Chris. I think we should point out that yes, there is new content and Chris is up to his usual hijinks. Now of course, I understand why people have been reluctant to add it - they're afraid that Chris will see it, and stop posting stuff on Facebook and such. I can see that it'd be imprudent, but should we be concerned with Chris producing content? I personally don't like using the CWCki as a trolling tool, including censoring ourselves in order to get more content from Chris. But that's mostly my opinion though.

So what say you all? Should we perhaps have a [[Wikipedia:Media blackout|media blackout]] of sorts? Should we lock this template until Chris is producing content again? I've thought of adding something along the lines of "This template is currently in lockdown mode, please check Recent changes for up-to-date news" but of course that'll just mean Chris will start checking out Recent updates (though he'd have to go through the effort of picking out what's new). Should we raise the bar on what constitutes an update? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:19, 23 February 2012 (PST)
:I think while Chris is less active, we should lower the bar to a certain extent. It's not that we are desperate for Da Update to be updated all the time - but minor things can sometimes lead up to larger events, so Da Update can also serve as a "heads up" kind of system. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:56, 23 February 2012 (PST)

==EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS==

I'm getting several notificiations a minute about new edits and it's fucking with my down time. Talk it out here or somewhere else rather than just undoing one anothers' edits. Preferably with several minutes between posts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 12:21, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Those who have access to Chris' Facebook have confirmed that the update is genuine, those who are in a position to confirm it on the ground have confirmed it. What more is required?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:58, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

User talk:Jesusfish

2012-04-12T19:18:12Z

Team CWCket:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:12, 20 September 2011 (PDT)

No really, stop reverting things because it's not vandalism.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 12:11, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Seriously, just accept that our little Chris has grown up and move on.[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:18, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

Template:Quote of the now

2012-04-12T18:42:41Z

Team CWCket:

{{quote|Oh, I forgot to mention, she Really Enjoyed my [[duck|dick]]; it was soo big and good, that it put the last dude she was with to shame; Her Words.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Facebook|Facebook status]] declaring that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].}}
<noinclude>
{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible, the exact source is referenced, and use links appropriately. Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. Finally, don't add commentary to citation part - let Chris's words do the talking.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Picture of the now

2012-04-12T18:26:59Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

[[File:virginbreaker.png|300px|left]]
Chris announces that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]. Rejoice, rejoice.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a picture, which is normally related to recent Chris activity. Beside it should be a caption, quote or brief explanation of the picture, with appropriate wiki links.. Suggestions for new pictures of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Picture of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2012-04-12T18:26:54Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*12 [[April 2012|April]]: Followers of Chris are surprised by the revelation that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].
*5 [[April 2012|April]]: The Ruckersville Two attend yet another hearing. They are to be sent to a Grand Jury on April 16 regarding [[28 October 2011|their felony cases]], with their other charges being rendered ''[[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|nolle prosequi]]''.
*31 [[March 2012|March]] and 1 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts [[Facebook#Shooting_Myself_in_the_Foot|two new notes on Facebook]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: "[[The Red-Maned Deer]]", [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], "[[Teenage Dream]]" and [[Cheerleader]]. Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]]. He gets a [[PlayStation Vita]] and hundreds of dollars' worth of games.
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]: Chris planned to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*12 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris' [[Facebook|status updates]] are leaked.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Virgin with rage

2012-04-12T18:26:29Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]]. It remains to be seen whether the loss of his virginity will change anything.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair,{{cite}} touching her shoulder,{{cite}} giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug. Thankfully, she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No longer a virgin (no word on the rage)==
On 12th [[April 2012]] a leaked [[Facebook]] message showed that Chris has been bragging about losing his virginity recently.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Duck

2012-04-12T18:26:22Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|thumb|left]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

==Chris and his duck==
[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|Another example of a bent duck]]
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]], though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> He even [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_the_CWCki#8_May.2C_03:09_-_03:16|edited]] the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. His claim appears highly unlikely, however, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and he apparently regrets this fact. In [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|an e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. In the [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] [[:File:TG20.jpg|images]], leaked in [[April 2011]], his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

Chris also [[Cwcsicle|stuck his duck in the ice]] for 15 minutes trying to imitate Jackass.

When he announced the loss of his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on [[Facebook]] Chris claimed his sex partner praised his duck for its size.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
* [[Nudes]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

April 2012

2012-04-12T18:26:11Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

'''April [[2012]]''' has seen more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident, but on a brighter note it appears Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].

==Events==
*12 April - A leaked [[Facebook]] status update reveals that Chris announced the loss of his virginity on a recent Sunday.
*1 April - Chris writes [[Facebook#An Open Note|An Open Note]] on [[Facebook]].
*3 April - Chris changes his PSN status to "I am Christian" and buys more Vita games.
*5 April - Chris and Barb have another hearing at 1:00 p.m. Trespassing and assault are dismissed, Grand Jury to decide felony hit and run. [[Michael_Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] protection order was granted against both Chris and Barb, potentially equating to [[Chris_and_the_Law|jail time]] if either of them trespass again.
*16 April - Chris and Barbara are scheduled to appear before a grand jury at 9:30 a.m.

{{Timeline}}

Chris and sex

2012-04-12T18:25:55Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Practical experience ==
For most of his life Chris has had no sexual experience whatsoever, resulting in him describing himself as a [[virgin with rage]]. However, in [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex outside of his single sexual experience he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]). Given Chris's [[Virgin with rage|complete lack of sexual experience]], whether or not he actually knows what femdom is is anyone's guess.

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Despite his statements against bestiality, Chris stated that he would be willing to have sex with a female dog (because he's not a homo) for [[PandaHalo]] and specified that he'd prefer a Collie.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, as is evident from the [[IRC (21 January 2009)|chat]] in which he was informed of the rape of [[PandaHalo]] and her ensuing impregnation. Chris's response to hearing about his girlfriend's traumatic ordeal was extremely nonchalant, and at one point during the chat he even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her [[Clyde Cash|rapist]], whom Chris had described as a "good man" for his regret over raping Panda and for his willingness to take care of the rape child. Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, Chris would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref>

Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies, but due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] this scenario is highly unlikely. Still, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Facebook

2012-04-12T18:25:35Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 02 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]].

By 14 February 2012, Chris had turned his Facebook account to private and unfindable unless you were already a "friend".

On 31 [[March 2012|March]]/1 [[April 2012]] Chris made another address to trolls.

On the 12th of [[April 2012]] a status message from Chris was leaked in which he declared the loss of his virginity.

==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm
 
There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.
 
Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
</blockquote>

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm
 
When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
</blockquote>

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===
<blockquote>
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm
 
Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.
 
Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
</blockquote>

===What I am looking for in a woman===
<blockquote>
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am
 
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
 
</blockquote>

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===
<blockquote>
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm
 
'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
</blockquote>

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===
<blockquote>
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm
 
I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
</blockquote>

===An Open Note===
<blockquote>
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm
 
I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]
 
The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.
 
You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Love Quest

2012-04-12T18:25:22Z

Team CWCket: Information was provided on /cwc/ by trusted source of insider news and has been confirmed as genuine.

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}

{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|You know what? Fuck it.}}

[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[Image:Christever Alone.png|thumb|Accurate depiction of Chris.]]

The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. However, he has enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few hedgehogs short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at [[Target]]. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the [[Attraction Sign]] made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her. Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a [[Chris|"lonesome fella"]] can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous [[Attraction Sign|tactics]] and even [[fail|asking his answerer to be his sweetheart]].

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear - in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage - that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) [[fail|still on the internet]]. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Quest Side Quest Completed==
On the 12th April the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:
[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU!
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Virgin with rage

2012-04-12T17:14:20Z

Team CWCket: /* No longer a virgin (no word on the rage) */ - No "claimed" about it, those in the loop have confirmed it. Date refers to the date of the leak, not the date of the facebook message (12 April this year wasn't a Sunday).

Virgin with rage

2012-04-12T17:12:52Z

Team CWCket: /* No longer a virgin (no word on the rage) */

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]]. It remains to be seen whether the loss of his virginity will change anything.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair,{{cite}} touching her shoulder,{{cite}} giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug. Thankfully, she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No longer a virgin (no word on the rage)==
On 12th [[April 2012]] Chris announced that he had finally lost his virginity in a leaked [[Facebook]] message.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Template:Quote of the now

2012-04-12T17:11:11Z

Team CWCket:

Template:DYK

2012-04-12T17:09:32Z

Team CWCket:

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|10=
*...that Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
|11=
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wanted you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
|12=
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [[Wikipedia:Apple_core|children's game]]?
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
|13=
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lover's dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that the American government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
|14=
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
*...that [[Jerkief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
|15=
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] had [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|16=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because [[fail|he didn't get one]]?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|convicted in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
|17=
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
|18=
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dream]]s?
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
|19=
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
|21=
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's [[fail]] is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl?]]
|21=
*...that Chris is [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|as wild as a serial raper]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] kept four [[Rosechu]]s imprisoned in his basement?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|over one billion fans]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Dont Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10_September_2009|trolling stupid]]"?
}}

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:Picture of the now

2012-04-12T17:08:21Z

Team CWCket:

Template:Picture of the now

2012-04-12T17:07:35Z

Team CWCket:

[[File:virginbreaker.png]]
Chris announces that he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]. Rejoice, rejoice.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a picture, which is normally related to recent Chris activity. Beside it should be a caption, quote or brief explanation of the picture, with appropriate wiki links.. Suggestions for new pictures of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Picture of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Duck

2012-04-12T17:03:36Z

Team CWCket:

Chris and sex

2012-04-12T17:01:41Z

Team CWCket:

April 2012

2012-04-12T16:58:33Z

Team CWCket:

April 2012

2012-04-12T16:58:16Z

Team CWCket:

'''April [[2012]]''' has seen more fallout from the [[28 October 2011]] incident, but on a brighter note it appears Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]].

==Events==
*12 April - A leaked [[Facebook]] status update reveals that Chris lost his virginity on a recent Sunday.
*1 April - Chris writes [[Facebook#An Open Note|An Open Note]] on [[Facebook]].
*3 April - Chris changes his PSN status to "I am Christian" and buys more Vita games.
*5 April - Chris and Barb have another hearing at 1:00 p.m. Trespassing and assault are dismissed, Grand Jury to decide felony hit and run. [[Michael_Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] protection order was granted against both Chris and Barb, potentially equating to [[Chris_and_the_Law|jail time]] if either of them trespass again.
*16 April - Chris and Barbara are scheduled to appear before a grand jury at 9:30 a.m.

{{Timeline}}

Template:Da update

2012-04-12T16:56:47Z

Team CWCket:

Virgin with rage

2012-04-12T16:55:46Z

Team CWCket:

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]]. It remains to be seen whether the loss of his virginity will change anything.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair,{{cite}} touching her shoulder,{{cite}} giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug. Thankfully, she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No longer a virgin (no word on the rage)==
On 12th [[April 2012]] the world learned that Chris had lost his virginity when the following [[Facebook]] message was leaked.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Virgin with rage

2012-04-12T16:54:54Z

Team CWCket:

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]]. It remains to be seen whether the loss of his virginity will change anything.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair,{{cite}} touching her shoulder,{{cite}} giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug. Thankfully, she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No Longer A Virgin==
On 12th [[April 2012]] the world learned that Chris had lost his virginity when the following [[Facebook]] message was leaked.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Love Quest

2012-04-12T16:51:19Z

Team CWCket:

Facebook

2012-04-12T16:50:51Z

Team CWCket:

Facebook

2012-04-12T16:48:14Z

Team CWCket:

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 02 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]].

By 14 February 2012, Chris had turned his Facebook account to private and unfindable unless you were already a "friend".

On 31 [[March 2012|March]]/1 [[April 2012]] Chris made another address to trolls.

On the 12th of [[April 2012]] a [[File:Virginbreaker.png|status message]] from Chris was leaked in which he declared the loss of his virginity.

==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm
 
There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.
 
Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
</blockquote>

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm
 
When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
</blockquote>

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===
<blockquote>
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm
 
Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.
 
Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
</blockquote>

===What I am looking for in a woman===
<blockquote>
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am
 
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
 
</blockquote>

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===
<blockquote>
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm
 
'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
</blockquote>

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===
<blockquote>
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm
 
I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
</blockquote>

===An Open Note===
<blockquote>
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm
 
I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]
 
The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.
 
You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

File:Virginbreaker.png

2012-04-12T16:46:34Z

Team CWCket: Facebook status message confirming loss of virginity.

Facebook status message confirming loss of virginity.

SonichuBabies

2010-10-27T15:36:06Z

Team CWCket:

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|the most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters. Also note that Chris [[autism|has to describe Blake's personality in detail]].

Also worth mentioning is that ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 3]], though it was an origin story for the Combo. Since the Chaotic Combo never met in the comics until they evolved, and since it is established in the comics that Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake were never sonees or rosees at any point (Sonichu and Rosechu were transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow and Blake was cloned) it's possible that this is not canon in the CWCVerse, or a complete retcon.

As a further testament to Chris's utter lack of imagination, the vignette featuring Young Rosechu and Young Sonichu features the same elements from his [[PlayingHouse|other short]] that was released the same day: The wife works as a journalist, while the husband stays at home and is supposed to take care of a crying and shitting baby but delegates the task to the older sibling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do anything for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosee]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you were theeere... ''[As Rosee]'' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]'' Is everything alright in here? ''[As all [[sonichus]]]'' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey]'' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey! Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings, speaks as Blake]'' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though. ''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]'' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee! ''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]'' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm. Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now? I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show. That what ya wanna do? Yeaah! Alright! ''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]'' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]'' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]'' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me. ''[Comic Chris' trademark sneakers join]'' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies? ''Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.'' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries. ''Look how we settled that!'' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]'' What's the matter, Wild? Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well. Well, and why is that? I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue! You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does! Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue! Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes. Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime. Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round. Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]'' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good [unintelligible]... C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] on time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]'' Hyeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty, she's so bub-b-ly, she's so fun. I'm just- b- I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets... left out. It's not because I'm- it's not because of my colour, it's just because I have my own opinions beside from theirs. I do things for myself. Sultimes I like to r- sometimes I like to read, even though I don't know how to read yet! I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. Ba-suh-I bring danger along some-I bring danger with me sometimes, and... that makes me sad. You know. They can't apprec-me- appreciate me even though I'm young and danger... [gibberish] ''[Enter Sonee and Rosee]'' ''Wubuh listen de- listen to Blake over der? Keep on going on and on with his own self! [unintelligible] again...'' Yeah, well he's talkin' to himself, huh. Well I dunno. Seems kinda weird. ''[As Blake]'' Oh will you shut up! We all talk to ourselves at one time or another! ''Sorry Blake!'' Yeah, sorry dude! Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica]'' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story. ''[Magi-chan]'' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica? ''Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!'' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten. ''YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.'' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there. ''Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.'' Yeah. ''[Awkward pause]'' ''Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.'' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday. ''An' Nanny takes us!'' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian, yes he is.]] ''So what you wanna do now?'' Let's go play with Legos! ''Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!''

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]'' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l? Okay Punchy! ''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]'' Huh. Got me there. ''[Wild "hits" Punchy]'' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW! ''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]'' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window! ''I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!'' I'm sorry. ''[Awkward silence]'' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery. ''Yeah.'' So, I'll do that. ''[Punchy comes forward]'' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer. ''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]'' ''I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?'' D'ya want me to go beat him up? ''Nah, I just need to learn self defense.'' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa! ''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns] Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. [Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]'' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosee return]'' ''Okay so... What should we do now?'' I think let's go play House! ''Yeah let's go play House again!'' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home. ''Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?'' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks! ''Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.'' ''[Pause]'' That's very good. How're the children. ''I think I just told you that. [She didn't.]'' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal. ''Okay!''

''[Switch places]'' ''Hi honey, I'm home!'' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]? ''Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.'' There was a v- there was a bank robbery? ''Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane[????]!'' Horse and mane? ''Sure, the horse was on the main!'' ''[Pause]'' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!'' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the slow- I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long. ''And I've been out journalism all day.'' Yeah. ''[Pause]'' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down. ''That's good.'' I had to change a few diapers to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband. ''And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.'' Okay. So. Wanna end the show. ''Why not?'' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah. Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]'' Dududududududuh! Duh duh! ''Thank you very much, goodnight!'' Goodnight.

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-10-21T10:37:05Z

Team CWCket: /* Chris today */

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Quote|"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante_Alighieri Dante Alighieri's] [http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Divine_Comedy/Inferno/Canto_III ''Inferno'', canto III, verse IX]}}

{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-Chan
Ricardo Weston Chandler

CWC

Ian Brandon Anderson

Solid Chris

Chrissy
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| estimated at about 300 lbs (136 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Welfare leech

Making [[fail|failtastic]] [[Sonichu]] comics
|-
|}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'', is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|stubborn]], [[Chris and religion|heretical]], [[art|completely]] and [[writing|utterly]] [[music|untalented]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit videogame franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]]]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick."

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{-}}
==Overview==

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance.)

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian," which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at [[Wikipedia:KB Toys|Kay Bee Toys]] as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]]]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|[[Wikipedia:David Hume|David Hume]], [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]]}}

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==

{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==

{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]] [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]]!]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online.

Chris's desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and the smart money was that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. The currently ongoing [[Jackie]] saga and the eruption of new videos beginning in late September of 2010 proved that no matter how hard Chris tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Cwcville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

October 2010

2010-10-20T15:12:45Z

Team CWCket:

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|Artist's deciption of the first third of the month]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|On '''10 October''' Chris got into his in [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his super-mode]]]]

'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] [[Saga]] ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue. So far, Chris has released so many videos, it's as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent away from the internet.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

Just a little more than halfway through the month, Chris began releasing some even more bizarre performance pieces, many with a gender-bending theme, seemingly releasing videos purely for the sake of keeping in the public eye.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary.]]
* 9 October - Chris uploads a video [[ECV 00001|explaining the Cherokees]]. He later uploads a video of him going on [[A Hike]].
* 10 October - Chris uploads a video where [[ECV 00002|he transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and goes on to tell people not to badmouth people, and proclaims his love for Jackie.
* 12 October - Chris uploads two videos, one where he [[100 2277|dresses up as Fred Flintstone]] and sings the theme song to ''The Flintstones'', and one where he imitates [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]].
* 12 October - The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs]], [[Sarah May Skype Logs]], and the last of the [[Reggie]] e-mails are released.
* 14 October - Chris uploads two videos in which he [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dresses up as a wizard]] and [[100 2281‎|tries to appeal]] to Lars again.
* 19 October - Chris uploads a flurry of videos which include bizarre and inexplicable acts like simulating the act of [[Pregnant Act|giving birth]], raising awareness for [[Breast Cancer Awareness|breastcancer]], reenacting the [[Vitameatavegamin]] scene from [[I Love Lucy]], singing [[Gilligan Be or Not|a song]] from Gilligan's Island, and, as usual, [[A Public Announcement for Congress|making promises he'll never keep.]]

{{Timeline}}

So Need a Cute Girl

2010-10-20T15:09:44Z

Team CWCket:

{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES and NOT TO MOST [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl", 11 [[November 2007]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]]<ref name="ed">http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</ref>}}

'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Chris describes it in an [[ED]] edit as his "[[love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.

==Song==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only
| image = {{#ev:youtube|-51Z5Q8hPbQ}}
| Stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| Maker = Chris
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| previous = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| next = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
}}</center>

=== Lyrics===

[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"'']

Hey! Look at me! 
I'm sitting here sad and lonely! 

Without a fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
[[Noviophobia|"I have a boyfriend!"]] 

And I see the ladies walking 
Along one by one, 
And I never wanna hear, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]! * 
Tell me why 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I ain’t never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!"** 

And I have no fire 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
(Tell me why) 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
(Tell me why) 
I ain't never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Why do all of the jerks 
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!) 
You may not notice, 
But I want you to know 
That I am a lonesome heart! 

And I have no fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'', to not, to not 
''Heeeaaar…'' 

Stuck as a virgin with rage! 
So need a cute girl my age! 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
(Tell me why) 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
I ain’t never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
I ain’t never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Never say it, now!

* ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''

** ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</ref>''

==Music video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video (Featuring Performance of "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend")
| image = {{#ev:youtube|6azwhe8xhVI}}
| Stardate = 20 [[December 2004]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| Other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Song|Sp Meed a Cute Girl, Audio Only]]
| next = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance]]
}}</center>

Filmed in December [[2004]] to promote Christian's [[Love Quest]]. Don't miss the rare B-side track, "[[All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"

===Introductory notes===

Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler, age 22 at this time. I'll be 23 on February 24th, [[2005]]. [''clears throat''] Eh, anyway, uh, for over a year, now, I've, uh, been trying to attract an 18-to-22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl]]—18-to-21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been tryin' for over a year to attract a girl—boyfriend-free girl—and I have [[fail]]ed.[Chris sits on the floor] And, you know, when you got—when you have so much—so many failures at this time, [Chris pets his Menchi plushie] you can't help but feel sad, you know? And depressed? And here it is, about [[Christmas#2004|Christmastime]], and, well, all I want for Christmas is a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. And, a'course, uh, during the time, I have, uh, been a—trying, I written a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|few songs]], about my, uh, Love Quest. And, so, for now—for now, I'd like to sing to you my, uh, two a'—two a'my songs. [''clears throat and stands up''] First one I'm gonna sing is one I've, uhh, made up first, wri'en my own lyrics to, into a tune to this song. By the way, [''points to [[Sonichu medallion]] around neck''] this, here, is Sonichu. You can look him up on the web. [''???''] just put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term. Anyway, here's my first song, called "So Need A Cute Girl."

[''Performs songs'']

[[Sigh|[''Chris sighs'']]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope [[Santa]] will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler—by the way, you can call my Chris in public—and... thank you.

==Live performance==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
| image = {{#ev:youtube|wlP5VhuJubE}}
| Stardate = 12 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}, Drunk
| Shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| Other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27s_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
}}</center>

On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.

===Transcript===

(Fervently grabs crotch at the end) LADIES, [[Adult Swim|ALL HANDS ON ME]]. (There are no takers, just laughter)

'''Man:''' (''Bewildered'') Oh ohh OHHH buddy!! Whoa-ho, you got that on film!

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0WtTzvbz9e0}}
| Stardate = 30 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| Subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Typer = Song Cover
| Other Info = [[Sonichu: The Animated Series]] response from the real Chris Chandler.
}}</center>
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GDqJ4VuzhnU}}
| Stardate = 25 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AngusHiggens AngusHiggens]
| Subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Type = Song Cover
| Other Info = Said to feature guest backing vocals from [[Liquid Chris]].
}}</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Virgin with Rage]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]|}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

User:Team CWCket

2010-07-20T11:25:00Z

Team CWCket:

Oh hey maybe I should put something here.

User:16BitAlex

2010-07-01T12:40:31Z

Team CWCket: Thought you'd gotten rid of the comic, hadn't you?

DAVID HIA
DAVID HIA
DAVID HIA
http://davidhia.110mb.com/index.htm

And, I won't be back under this username, on advice of Edward.

For extra security, I will attempt to ban myself:

Nope, didn't work.

== DAVID HIA NEW DAVID HIA COMIX STARRING DAVID HIA ==

'''DAVID HIA IN VIDEO GAME VULGARIANS:'''

http://i.imgur.com/VvyV2h.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/QiTiwh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HIO4th.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/eBFWJh.jpg

== DAVID HIA COMIX FROM THE SAINTLY DAYS OF YORE ==

'''DAVID HIA IN BOOKSTORE BUFFOONS'''

http://i.imgur.com/YvAaAh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/YVmXWh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xnXXnh.jpg

'''DAVID HIA IN ROCK BAND RAPSCALLIONS'''

http://i.imgur.com/65C8qh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/k17jGh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/qiiQdh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/fHxbQh.jpg

==I give up on this trolling business==

I'm just a cowardly observer and do not have the guts to become a troll. I only wanted to because everyone else had some level above "observer" for a userbox. I just wanted to be one of the cool kids and did not know what it entailed. I even idolized you guys, and to have the likes of Crass of Crass and Champ (in the IRC attack) and Sean of the Asperpedia Four (the comics, I recognize the style) attacking me destroyed me.

I'll just quietly settle into my position as an observer. Stop demonizing and dehumanizing me. I'm not like this all the time, only when provoked. But, that is the job of a troll. Just know that I am not a good target. I'm trying to get my life off the ground here. '''Putting my real name will just make it so that employers can Google me up, see this shit, and then consider me unemployable. You put the troll comics here, but don't attach my real name to them. I don't want to have to ride the tugboat.'''

For the record, it was my fault originally for wanting in the PVCC and starting RuleCWC over not getting in. It was also the fault of the PVCC, for launching the original assault on RuleCWC and doxing me, and Delabonte, for fanning the flames after the attack.

If I had known that:

1. I do not have the heart or mind of a troll
2. PVCC is for the trolls only
3. Cafe Rosechu is available for observers

I wouldn't have wanted in the PVCC in the first place. I learned this the hard way, which cost me my dignity.

:PVCC isn't for trolls only. We have plenty of non-trolls in there who talk about shit and stuff. But yes, you definitely don't have a heart or mind. also i wuz the one to dox you lol [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

::I still can't believe I believed the Georgeson stuff. And, I should be first on your bad users list, not this BabyNeko nobody. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 21:17, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

And most of all, I want to be un-dox'd. My real name is now almost as tarnished as Adolf Hitler.

* Yeah, now it is: http://davidhia.110mb.com/index.htm
* Holy fucking shit you're a pro at blowing things out of proportion. Wow. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 02:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
* Sully is right. At least Hitler had a job. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 02:18, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
* Hitler could paint too. And he had better taste in music. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 02:22, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
* At least Hitler had a testicle. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:26, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
** Okay, please stop. You could do this kind of crap to Chris, seeing as he had no chance of leading a normal life. I, on the other hand, am making the best of efforts to lead a normal life, attempting to act normal, etc. If they see that, they'll ditch me. Do you really want to make me the next Chris? Do you really want to effectively destroy my life and render me a slave to consciousness?
***Talk to me and this can all go away. seanawatley@gmail.com --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:41, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

Is this third wave for retracting my PVCC application?
*Sign your posts for fuck's sake. No, we don't care you retracted your application. I doubt any of us were even aware of that. You aren't that important. Besides, retracting your application has no end result, seeing as you weren't ever going to get in anyway. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

==GET A JOB==

{{#ev:youtube|5hkJL6wRBE8}}

Do you not get it? You're exactly like Chris - sitting on your arse, making excuses and not working. You may aspire to a better life but Chris does too. There is not one single reason you can't be working at a supermarket collecting trolleys or stocking shelves. You can sit here and tell us "I AM LOOKING FOR WORK!" but that's exactly what Chris does. BTW, for someone who keeps on telling us he's left you seem to return an awful lot. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 04:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*Every place I've applied to (the kind of positions you refer to) has turned me down. I can't get a job because I've never worked a day in my life. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 11:49, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

:That's crap. You're young. Get a haircut, shave that moustache and be polite. Nobody needs experience to stack shelves.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 12:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2010-06-25T12:34:55Z

Team CWCket: /* With ED */

{{quote|And by the way, that is not Crystal whose eyes are censored; that is Megan!|Chris, [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]}}

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|It's like the Mona Lisa of [[Fail]].]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is some [[Rule 34]] that [[Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, and this single image managed to invoke such drama and ruin the closest relationship with a person he ever had, his friendship with [[Megan]].

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], until Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|an internet video]], shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relation his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his best friend with whom he had no sexual relationship.

==Background==

When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of [[pickles]] on the site. Using his powers of [[autistic]] logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November 2007, Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.jpg. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC proved to be the most controversial, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

==Analysis==
[[Image:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis]]

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of [[fail]] that is Chris:

*The artistic skills of an eight year old; depth perception and proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as the paper upon which she was drawn.

*A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the [[vagina]] is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).

*Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the Vulcan hand signal from ''Star Trek''. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.

*Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of M. C. Escher's darkest nightmares.

*Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.

*The vagina in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirting]]," but due to his own stupidity he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture.

*Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]] (a near ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to Hitler's mustache, which is semi-ironic considering her one-time fetish for German soldiers. Of course Chris wouldn't realize this.

*Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely genitalia and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."

*In contrast, Chris pays close attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.

*Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''For''CWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.

*He's wearing his Sonichu medallion while having sex with a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.

*The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the internet where she can see it.

==Drama==

===With ED===
When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here is disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictitious character [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. (Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other.)

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until March 2008, however, when Megan discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[:File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
In the early spring of 2008, Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at [[The_Game_Place|the Game Place]].) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows little remorse for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." That remains their last known communication.

==Today==
{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images".<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame.

==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy

==Sauce==
<references />

{{MeganSaga}}
[[Category: Images]]

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2010-06-25T12:34:01Z

Team CWCket: /* With ED */

{{quote|And by the way, that is not Crystal whose eyes are censored; that is Megan!|Chris, [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]}}

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|It's like the Mona Lisa of [[Fail]].]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is some [[Rule 34]] that [[Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, and this single image managed to invoke such drama and ruin the closest relationship with a person he ever had, his friendship with [[Megan]].

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], until Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|an internet video]], shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relation his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his best friend with whom he had no sexual relationship.

==Background==

When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of [[pickles]] on the site. Using his powers of [[autistic]] logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November 2007, Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.jpg. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC proved to be the most controversial, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

==Analysis==
[[Image:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis]]

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of [[fail]] that is Chris:

*The artistic skills of an eight year old; depth perception and proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as the paper upon which she was drawn.

*A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the [[vagina]] is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).

*Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the Vulcan hand signal from ''Star Trek''. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.

*Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of M. C. Escher's darkest nightmares.

*Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.

*The vagina in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirting]]," but due to his own stupidity he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture.

*Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]] (a near ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to Hitler's mustache, which is semi-ironic considering her one-time fetish for German soldiers. Of course Chris wouldn't realize this.

*Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely genitalia and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."

*In contrast, Chris pays close attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.

*Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''For''CWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.

*He's wearing his Sonichu medallion while having sex with a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.

*The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the internet where she can see it.

==Drama==

===With ED===
When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here is disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictitious character [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. (Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other.)

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until March 2008, however, when Megan discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
In the early spring of 2008, Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at [[The_Game_Place|the Game Place]].) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows little remorse for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." That remains their last known communication.

==Today==
{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images".<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame.

==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy

==Sauce==
<references />

{{MeganSaga}}
[[Category: Images]]

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2010-06-25T12:33:40Z

Team CWCket: /* With ED */

{{quote|And by the way, that is not Crystal whose eyes are censored; that is Megan!|Chris, [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]}}

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|It's like the Mona Lisa of [[Fail]].]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is some [[Rule 34]] that [[Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, and this single image managed to invoke such drama and ruin the closest relationship with a person he ever had, his friendship with [[Megan]].

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], until Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|an internet video]], shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relation his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his best friend with whom he had no sexual relationship.

==Background==

When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of [[pickles]] on the site. Using his powers of [[autistic]] logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November 2007, Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.jpg. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC proved to be the most controversial, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

==Analysis==
[[Image:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis]]

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of [[fail]] that is Chris:

*The artistic skills of an eight year old; depth perception and proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as the paper upon which she was drawn.

*A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the [[vagina]] is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).

*Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the Vulcan hand signal from ''Star Trek''. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.

*Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of M. C. Escher's darkest nightmares.

*Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.

*The vagina in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirting]]," but due to his own stupidity he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture.

*Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]] (a near ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to Hitler's mustache, which is semi-ironic considering her one-time fetish for German soldiers. Of course Chris wouldn't realize this.

*Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely genitalia and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."

*In contrast, Chris pays close attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.

*Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''For''CWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.

*He's wearing his Sonichu medallion while having sex with a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.

*The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the internet where she can see it.

==Drama==

===With ED===
When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here is disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictitious character [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. (Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other.)

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until March 2008, however, when Megan discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
In the early spring of 2008, Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at [[The_Game_Place|the Game Place]].) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows little remorse for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." That remains their last known communication.

==Today==
{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images".<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame.

==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy

==Sauce==
<references />

{{MeganSaga}}
[[Category: Images]]

CWC "Boyfriend"

2010-06-08T14:14:53Z

Team CWCket:

[[Image:Prince_(musician).jpg|thumb|Motherfucking Prince, man]]

'''CWC "Boyfriend"''' is a music video "addressed to the WOMEN ONLY" and uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[July 2009]]. This video features a little bit of everything when it comes to Chris's bizarre behavior, including [[I Got A Fish|dancing like a retard]], playing the [[Gitar of Fail]] and other such devices, and a side order of [[Homos|gay bashing]]. He even goes as far to criticize the lifestyle of [[Gaybian|Gaybians]]. Paper cut outs are used to display Chris's delusions, as well as several recycled drawings.

The video description and annotations reveal that Chris believes that [[Ivy]] killed herself as a result of the cessation in their communications. He blames [[Bob]] for breaking up their relationship — apparently, despite the best efforts of his father and others to reason with him, Chris chose to cling to the delusion that Ivy was not a troll. At that point in the video description Chris also states that "Ivy killed herself on July 200'''8'''", months before Chris ever met her, although this is more than likely just an [[Autism|arseburger]] mistake.

At around 2:05, astute video game fans may notice that Chris-Chan purchased the universally panned, all around shitty ''[[Guitar Hero|Rock Band]]'' ripoff ''Rock Revolution''. What's even more sad, he still uses the drums.

Chris would later use an extract from this video as part of a [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|desperate plea]] to the [[Wallflower]] to relieve him of his [[Virgin with rage|terrible burden]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC "Boyfriend"
| image = {{#ev:youtube|t-LXcptSc-g}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}
| Shirt = {{BlueTShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[Chris humps his PS3]]
| next = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#A Preview|A Preview]]
}}</center>
===Description===
{{quotebox|Not only a fulfillment to a blackmail, but Also a Memorial Music Video. Miss. [[Ivy|Ivy O'Niel]] died July, 2008 in suicide from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me. She was a honest, sweet woman. May this video always be a commerative memorial for her always. And to [[Officer Keino|Mr. O'Niel]], I salute your bravery on the Police, although my Detective could not find you on any Precint records, and I offer my deepest condolences for your loss, as I feel it terribly myself. I had to listen to my [[Bob|Meatheaded Father]]'s Scooby-Doo Detective jargon, as well as the Real Detective's jazz. Ivy, I'm sorry for believing my father's crackpot theory and letting it baffle me and my heart. Please forgive me, and rest in peace. I will always have the place for you in my heart. **Also, to clearify: Woman #1 is [[Megan Schroeder]]. Then Ivy's Memorial Woman #2 is [[Blanca|Blanca Wiess]]; Blanca is with a friend in the Lesbian Pic; do not who that girl was. Woman #3 is [[Jessie Ruddy]] Woman #4, or B&W Picture Woman is [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. **[[Monty Python|Spiney Norman; Go after Howard and his Pickle-Suited Cult.** "Dinsdale!"]] Woman #5 is PICTURE ONLY of WHO was supposed to be [[Julie|Julie Milvana]].}}

===Transcript===

<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend

You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And Hells Yeah
I’m the motherfucking prince, man
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right

He’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like a girlfriend!
No way! No way!That' ain't right, woman!
No way! No way!
I could be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend

I can see the way. I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come—so come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your old one disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again

Because, he’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend

In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
He's so trollin' stupid
What the hell were you thinking?!

That old sumbah tried to take you out my life
But you know I can do it way better
He's an impostor. He's a poser!
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn Pickle Suit?!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you'd like me
No way! No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend

Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you'd like me
No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend

Hey you!</poem>

==A preview==
A preview for CWC "Boyfriend" was uploaded by Chris on 20 July 2009. Chris then deleted the video in a matter of hours, leading to serious doubts about the probability of the promised video appearing. Yet, true to his word, the video did arrive five days later, much to everybody's surprise.

===Video===

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Preview
| image = {{#ev:youtube|kdOBOpRnay8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#Video|CWC "Boyfriend"]]
| next = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#Alternate Leaked Edition|"CWC Girlfriend Singstar" - Leaked Edition]]
}}</center>

====Transcript====
(Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend plays in the background)

Chris: (Singing to roughly the tune of the music)

Hey Hey You You I don't like your boyfriend!

No Way No Way I think you need a new one!

Hey Hey You You I could be your boyfriend

Hey hey you you I know that you like me

No way no way I know it's not a secret

Hey hey you you I want to be your boyfriend

==Alternate leaked edition==
On 29 July 2009, The CWCville Library uploaded an alternate version of the video, with Chris just dancing and different lyrics.

===Video===

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = "CWC Girlfriend Singstar" - Leaked Edition
| image = {{#ev:youtube|859NaLdXJ0s}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 July 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music
| Shirt = [[Image:BlueTshirt.png]] Blue T-Shirt
| Other = {{Leaked}} Leaked
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#A Preview|A Preview]]
| next = [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]
}}</center>

====Transcription====

<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
'think ya need a new one!
Hey! Hey! You! You
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me,
No way! No way! Know it's not a secret,
Hey Hey, You You, I want to be your boyfriend!

You're so fine, I want you mine you're so delicious,
I think about you all the time you're so addictive.
Don't you know what I could to do to make you feel..ALRIGHT.

Don't pretend you think I know I'm damn precious,
And hells yeah I'm the motherfucking prince man,
I can tell ya like me too, and I know am right.
He's like so whatever, and you could do so much better (hops around)
I think we should get together noooowww,
And that's what everyone's talkin about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend
No way! No way!
That ain't right woman!
No way! No way!
I could be your boyfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that ya like me,
(mumbles something) You, you, you need to be straight girl,
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend!

I can see the way, see the way ya look at me.
And Even when you look away I know ya think of me,
I know you talk about me all the time again and agaaiin.

So come over here, tell my what I wanna hear,
Better yet, make your old one disappear,
I don't want to hear ya say his name agaain.

BECAUSE
He's like so whatever
and you could do, so much better.
I think we should get together nooow,
'N that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend.
No way! No way!
I think ya need a new one.
and Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that ya like me,
And No way! No way, know it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger.
'Cause I can, Cause I can do it better,
There's no *mumbles* other so when's it going to sink in
He's so troll and stupid what the hell were you thinkin?!

That ole somba(?) tried to take ya outta my life.
But you know I can do it way better,
He's an impostor, he's a poser, *wipes sweat from brow*
What the hells were ya thinkin with that Pickle Suit?

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend!
No way! No way!
Think ya need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your boyfriend.

Way, No way

Hey! Hey! You! you!
I know that ya like me
No way! No way!
Know it's not a secret.
Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend

No way, No waaaayy.

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way..
Think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! you!
I could be your boyfriend
No way no way

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No WAYYY and No WAYYY
I know it's not a secret,
and Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend
No way, No wayyy

HEY YOU</poem>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris humps his PS3]]|nextlink=[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos_Christian_uploaded_to_YouTube]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

April 2010

2010-05-10T13:30:19Z

Team CWCket:

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]
[[File:Ima42Bust.jpg|thumb|right|On '''21 April''', a video is leaked showing Chris being highly disturbing. This image sums the video up nicely.]]
[[File:SonichuBra.jpg|thumb|right|On '''23 April''', Chris remembers it is Autism Awareness Month and invents a new law to prevent men from being shirtless.]]
[[File:SchuComic11P32Troll.jpg|thumb|right|On '''24 April''', an Impostor Chris sends his webmaster some new pages...]]
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|right|... and on '''26 April''', Chris hides them with this.]]

Throughout '''April 2010''', Chris's online activity has been pretty sporadic, both due to him trying to stay off and free himself from the influence of the Internet (probably prompted by [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside force]]), and because a new potential [[sweetheart]], named "Jackie", had started to exchange emails with him.

The month started with the [[CWCipedia]] looking like the owner's [[duck]]. That is, to say, mangled beyond recognition. The website was stripped of its flesh and colors, pictures and formatting, leaving behind only a skeleton of HTML code, [[Patti|like the remains of an animal that's been dug up after many years in the ground]]. This was probably due to 110mb being shit as usual.

Chris has also acted on his [[Death threats|threat]] of "trouble from himself personally" after the expiration of his ultimatum. However, being the fatass dumbfuck that he is, all his vandalism was noticed and quickly reverted. However, he wasn't banned by order of the great [[Clyde Cash]].

On 5 April, however, Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad was discovered, further cementing the fact that he only wants a sweetheart for the [[hanky-panky]]. Said ad was deleted on 9 April.

A week later, Chris returned to the GAMe PLACe in an attempt to get his permaban removed so he can start bogarting everything. The manager, Michael Snyder, was unmoved and told Chris to get out, prompting Chris to show himself as a [[Chris and race|horrible bigot]] once again by using the word "Jew" as an insult (even though Michael is not Jewish). Chris posted a video of the incident, then posted an image on the CWCipedia asking his fans, [[A Message to the Trolls|the same ones he compared to trolls a month ago]], to [[Chris and hypocrisy|troll]] him and ask why he's playing [[Kick the Autistic]]. Not only did this, as expected, not work, Michael was, quite to the contrary, subsequently hailed as a hero for keeping the anti-semitic man-child down.

After his rejection from the GAMe PLACe, however, Chris once again turned to Sonichu, for the first time all month, when he went about writing several biographies for the Chaotic Combo, which he then followed up with a lulzworthy history of all female interaction he has ever had. He ranked his childhood teacher among potential crushes too, just for extra WTF.

Chris managed to keep quiet about Jackie (probably having learned something from the whole [[Wallflower]] incident), and her existence was not known to the general public of trolls, before she leaked the whole email correspondence and a deliciously creepy video by Chris to the [[CWCki]]. Subsequently to this Chris did his part for autism awareness by making a video in which he mumbles through the Wikipedia page on autism whilst wearing his sports bra.

Near the end of the month things finally took a turn for the interesting on the CWCipedia. Several episodes of the Sonichu Comic were deleted for their use of Copyrighted characters, and some bold impostor sent Chris's Wikisysop a batch of new pages for [[Sonichu 11]]. These less-than true and honest pages attempted to end Sonichu for good, featuring the deaths of many main characters, ending with Sonichu and Rosechu's bitter divorce. Sadly, Chris noticed relatively quickly, and replaced all the troll pages with placeholder images.

==Events of April 2010==

* 01 April - Chris, as if his [[Death threats#Cogsdev|threat]] were an April Fools joke, [[fail|fails]] to act or [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] against the [[CWCki]].
* 02 April - Chris [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|remembers his threat]], and [[Template:DYK|vandalizes]] [[Template:Article of the now|three]] [[Template:Picture of the now|templates]]. His edits are quickly reverted.
* 04 April - 110mb gets its act together and the CWCipedia returns.
* 05 April - Chris's [[The Hook Cafe]] personal ad is discovered, which blatantly broadcasts the fact that he's just after [[hanky-panky]] now.
* 05 April - First of the [[Jackie|Jackie E-Mails]] is sent.
* 09 April - Chris's [[The Hook Cafe]] personal ad is deleted, along with a bunch of troll ads. He is likely attempting to hide the fact that he's picked up Jackie.
* 10 April - Chris updates his blog and Captain's Log, breaks his exile from the internet to claim that pages are being drawn and that the ads will not phase him.
* 11 April - Chris visits [[The GAMe PLACe]] after Church. One of the cashiers recognizes him and threatens to call the police. Chris flees.
* 12 April - Knowing that [[Michael Snyder]] is present, Chris revisits the The GAMe PLACe with his digital camera in his pocket and records his attempt to get himself unbanned. Michael tells him off and starts calling the police, causing Chris to flee again. Later that day, Chris releases [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio recording]] of the event, but it is quickly removed.
* 13 April - Chris posts a [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|picture]] on the CWCipedia asking his fans to call Michael Snyder and ask him he wants to play Kick the Autistic.
* 14 April - Chris continues to undo [[CWCipedia]] vandalism, and writes biographies for the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]].
* 16 April - Chris waits for [[Jackie]] at the Starbucks Kiosk at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]]. She doesn't show up, again shattering his heart level to 15%.
* 19 April - Chris creates a new "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]" page, where he drops [[the Wallflower]]'s real name ''again''. Apparently traumatized by his failed CWCki "attack", he also creates a page titled "The Christian Truth", which currently links to the revised ED page and the Gal-Pals page, and promises "Plenty More to Come".
* 19 April - Shortly after publishing the original page, Chris deletes [[Tiffany Robinson]], [[Virginia Sanford]], [[Natasha Turner]], [[Sarah Anne Bevel]], [[Molly Quarles]], and [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]] from his list of gal-pals. However, the Wallflower section remains unchanged.
* 20 April - Chris makes a [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|page]] dedicated to [[The Wallflower]]. Chris later blanks the page and changes the Wallflower's name to her pen name on the Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts page. Then, he goes and recreates the page using her penname.
* 21 April - Last of the [[Jackie|Jackie E-Mails]] is sent.
* 21 April - Jackie emerges, leaking a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|disturbing video]] and [[Jackie e-mails|all]] [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|supporting]] [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|documentation]] directly to the CWCki.
* 23 April - Chris releases a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video]] asking for understanding for autistic people whilst wearing nothing but a bra.
* 24 April - The Sysop deletes a bunch of comic pages due to various forms of copyright infringement and, for reasons unknown, uploads [[Sonichu 11]] in a version that appears to be not entirely True and Honest and updates the blog.
* 26 April - Chris reverts the changes made by the Sysop and issues a stern warning on his blog. The reverted pages are replaced with Stress placeholders. He also makes his own OFFICIAL version of the autism awareness ad that better fits [[Aspergers Syndrome|his views]].
{{Timeline}}

User talk:Edward

2010-04-29T17:36:10Z

Team CWCket: /* Mark of Shame */

My talk page. Say whatever here.

And please: New section for each new subject.

== Trolling Plans ==
my brother used to live one hour away from him, but moved. I'm sure there are many dedicated trolls who would be willing to carry out these plans. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:15, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

Well then, If you can find someone then go for it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:21, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
== Mao ==
warn the chairman that cwc plans to curse him-Dan D

== Lie ==
You might wanna check [[Talk:Fail]]. Yawning Squirtle Redux and I are thinking that it, too, should be deleted. I'm more than willing to pluck out the redlinks to both. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:53, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*I was well aware of that discussion. I was merely saying, that you're gonna be the one handling that. But if you are willing to sort it all out then thats fine. I'm not one to question a Grammar Nazi. You guys know what your doing. I just lurk here. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:16, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Never mind. Champthom thinks this is a bad idea so I'm withdrawing. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:43, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Alright. Good luck with the piping genocide then. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:47, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== This is not productive at all, BUUUT ==

I just wanted to say that Snake Eater is an amazing song and that you're awesome for liking it. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:07, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 01:05, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

== Article Plans ==
Asexuality doesn't need an article, as it doesn't fit into anything to do with Chris, beyond a passing mention (which it already has). If you want to update a subsection on something like [[Chris and sex]] then feel free, but really, there's nothing to say.--[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 13:13, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
*Chris has made a few more statements than that before. I don't realy think that his attitudes towards asexuality would really fit in an article section about he is supposedly asexual. I think its a good choice of article to split off. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:55, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

==Mark of Shame==

Guess we've got that mark of shame forever. --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 17:02, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah. I don't even do most of the shit that the tag is talking about. Cogs is just being unfair now. When all those /cwc/ trolls wanted to harass Edthehedgehog cause they thought he was a furry, CWCki protected him. Now I just screw around on twitter making jokes about killing Sonichu's kids and I get attacked by the head of the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:04, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
**So are you saying that you are not, in fact, EmoWild? Because I am pretty sure you were one of the more irritating fuckers going on the Twitter feed. --[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 17:36, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Muscle bra

2010-04-22T12:12:45Z

Team CWCket:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic bra]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Chris with no bra whatsoever]]
{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris in [[sports bra photo series|the bra e-mail]]}}

'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Chris]] is wearing on his [[obesity|manboobs]].

The muscle bra first appeared in [[October 2009]] in the leaked e-mail accompanied by the [[sports bra photo series]] of photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

Later the same month, Chris appealed to others to wear a muscle bra too:

{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris in [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]}}

Chris seems to find the male chest and pecs unappealing. It is more than likely he makes this claim in a shallow attempt to appear straighter than straight. It is also likely that Chris himself find muscle bras to be a necessity given his unusually large breasts. Given his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, Chris may possibly see it as necessary for other males to cover up as well.

However, all this raises the question: when was the last time Chris went to the beach??

Chris clearly liked wearing a muscle bra that, around six months later [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|he gave us a better look in a video]]. One might assume that the clean white bra here is a different one from the pale green one in the photos, implying that Chris has bought multiple bras. Given that things never get cleaner in the Chandler household, only filthier, this seems a safe assumption to make. Chris reveals in the video in question that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size is unknown at this time.

__NOTOC__
{{clear}}
==Acompanied e-mail==
[[Image:CWC_Bra_Review.jpg|thumb|One of Chris's many trolls making use of this new information.]]

<blockquote>
(omitted stuff)...

[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]]. 

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my bust size; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. 

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], Toys 'R' Us, Sheetz, Food Lion and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really ground my gears to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. 

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, STUPID POWERWEB!<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. 

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. 

I'll TTYL, 
Stay Safe, 
Chris.
</blockquote>

==The images==
<center><gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>
==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)

2010-04-20T12:45:28Z

Team CWCket:

On 19 April 2010, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] created a page all about [[The Wallflower]] on [[CWCipedia]] , just after creating [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|a page on all his gal-pals and sweethearts in the same week.]] In it, Chris tells his side of the Wallflower story, replete with the usual lies, shirking of blame, and exaggerations.

As one has come to expect from Chris, he lies frequently, claiming that they went out on a [[dating|date]] (they spent time together), "shared DNA" (most likely meaning they shared a drink), and that she never rejected Chris until the discovery of the CWCki (in fact, she [[Friend zone|"friendzoned"]] him and told him repeatedly that she [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|wasn't ready for a boyfriend]].)

As a result, Chris blames the Wallflower for having a Facebook and a Fanfiction.net account for the trolls to discover in the first place, and claims that it's the Wallflower's fault Chris was hurt.

Chris also quotes the CWCki article on the Wallflower in a manner reminiscent of [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|his butchered ED article]]. Notably absent is the section on the Wallflower's anonymity, which contrasts the CWCki's policy on keeping personal information on her to a minimum with his inability to stop constantly using her real name.

=The Page=

[''Chris originally uploaded the page under the Wallflower's real name, and then thought better of it, wiped the page, and reuploaded it under her pen name. The content, aside from the page title, was essentially unchanged.'']

==The Truth==

===Intro===

Firstly, in reference to the Trolls' "Introduction" on their page, "Heir to Megan Schroeder"? W.T.F. are they trying to imply here? I [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Megan Schroeder|had LOOOOOONG moved on]] from Megan. [[Julie|I have met MORE WOMEN]] that those trolls will never learn about; it is none of their D*** Business anyway. And my [[virgin with rage|virginity]] is NONE of their concern. And it was their doing that made "Damien" aware of their original page of c*** and immature put-downs and insults.

===What had happened===

I met "Damien" late January, 2010 in the first of a few Social Group meetings in [[Charlottesville]], VA; we enjoyed each other's company that night, and we started pleasant communications between us. We [[fail|successfully communicates]] over telephone and e-mail, and [[lies|we went out on a few dates]].

Being careful on NOT revealing her identity, and out of glee, I made a note on the C-Log about the relationship and not stating her name. I do not need to prove myself to anyone on the internet. I respectfully requested that NO ONE INTERFERE in the relationship, but NOOOOO, the Trolls HAD to stick their [[Niggo|n*****]] noses into my affair.

[[lies|"Damien" did not reject me at all]] before the page against her was created. She welcomed me Massaging her Shoulders, Neck and Back. She did not object Holding Hands. She appreciated the Kiss I gave her. And she enjoyed sharing our DNA during the movie we went to see.

For your information, "Lovely Weather" in my 10th book is NOT BASED ON ANYONE; SHE IS PURELY FICTIONAL.

"Damien" and I, we were even starting work on a book of a series; I gave her the scenario idea. I wanted her FanFiction Fans to get a foretaste of the book series, so I started creation of a [[LittleBiGPlanet]] Level, and stated that it was a "Chris Chan/Damian Anteria" Production. AGAIN, being careful NOT to use her Real Name.

Then the trolls upped and googled her pen name; I had thought it cool. But there was a Monkey in the works, and that was "Damien"'s Doing; SHE HAD TO HAVE A Facebook Page with her REAL NAME and LINKS to her FanFictions on it.

===The Breakup===

The D*** Trolls then made their page against her, then made her aware of it in a "Review" entry. She became very angry at me, like I had control of what the Trolls, themselves, do, of which I DO NOT. Time passed, and she was still angry at me; she broke up our relationship and friendship.

I was left having to Suffer Linger Heartaches for Over TWO WEEKS.

Later on, this "Tito" communicates with me, confessing that it was HE that created the page and that HE informed "Damien" about it. And HE makes up a Fake Photograph of him and her together and sends it to me. That mother f***** son of a b**** can go rot in hell right now for all I care.

And to make it all worse, the trolls called her and her family up, PRETENDING to be me with their Voice-Manipulating Devices and their Camouflage Devices changing their Phone Numbers/"Restricted"/"Unknown" Status to my phone number to appear on their Caller IDs. You Trolls WILL see JAILTIME or [[Death threats|DEATH]] soon enough.

===Retribution===

At a future Social Group Meeting, I was able to let "Damien" know about my pains, and I would have appreciated an apology. But NO, she just ignores me like the plague. [[Chris and his Ego|Now she'll have to live the rest of her life with the recurring memory of hurting me like she did]]. [[Women's rights|Got-Dang Asexual Woman]]!

==Their Version==

===Intro===

"'''The Wallflower'''" aka '''Damian Antaria''' is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of [[trolling]]. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]].

==="References by Chris"===
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear. While he jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he initially made only oblique, passing references to this one. (Also, less information was forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she wasn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)

The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris mentioned that he had met up and had sex with his future wife, [[Lovely Weather]] in a page that was uploaded 9 December 2009. As it was considered unusual for Chris to write about an entirely fictional sweetheart, it's possible that Lovely Weather was based on this person.

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend.

Even with all evidence to the contrary, in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|C-Ya Later video]], he [[Chris and Reality|refers to her as his]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|"girlfriend"]], despite outright stating earlier that she had refused all his advances.

==="Breakup?"===

When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself about Christian. Despite this, one troll decided to f*** it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name. The fact that at no point did he say anything along the lines of "Ignore the trolls" suggests that, ultimately, Wallflower finding out about the CWCki was not why she broke contact with him. Especially so when you consider that the video was about him singing about how he hates her boyfriend despite knowing nothing about him.

In the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], Chris is mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with the Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]", implying that he believes that the Wallflower is involved with Tito in some capacity.

-----

{{sweethearts}}

[[Category:CWCipedia]]

Michael Snyder

2010-04-15T13:32:02Z

Team CWCket:

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris being Chris]]}}
{{quote|He probably will.|Michael Snyder to the above}}

[[Image:2004 merchant of venice 008.jpg|thumb|Michael Snyder, the dirty Jew.]]
[[image:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|left|Chris at war with Michael]]

'''Michael Schneider''', referred to by [[Chris]] as '''Michael Snyder''', (AKA The "Jew Meanie" - Even though he isn't even Jewish <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y Replies by Michael on YouTube]</ref>) is the [[manajerk|manager]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the hero responsible for banning Chris from the store. According to Chris he hated his guts (it's easy to see why).

Although Chris had [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|fumblingly attempted to apologise]] to Michael in a video in March 2009, his clumsy facade of contrition is not difficult to see through. In his [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] video, Chris still clearly harbors resentment towards being banned, at one point adding the following annotation:

{{quote|Why did you Hate My Guts, Michael Snyder; I had my Voluenteer Job with the Pokemon TCG League. What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!! You have my Number.}}

This further confirms that, in Chris' eyes, anyone who makes Chris angry or doesn't give him what he wants must be a [[troll]].

==Chris's anti-Semitism==
[[File:Niggersjews.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's beliefs, all summed up in one poster.]]
On 12 April 2010 [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into the Game Place. In Chris's anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name, it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all.

==Chris fails at trolling Michael==
Shortly after posting his audio of the apology attempt on YouTube, Chris published an image on the [[CWCipedia]] decrying Michael's ban as an affront to all [[autism|autistics]]. On the CWCipedia and in the description of the video he urged [[white knights|decent, upstanding citizens]] to troll Michael, and optionally his subordinates as well. Far from provoking a wave of trolling, this demand actually resulted in a groundswell of support for the Game Place, with Michael reporting positive comments from everyone who's contacted him about the incident.

==See also==
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Daniel Mimms]]
*[[Lucas]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic His Youtube account]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{People}}

[[Category:People]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-04-15T13:25:54Z

Team CWCket: /* Unbanning attempts */ Tidying this up a tiny bit.

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|right|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|right|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a comic-book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years, up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the managers, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has several times attempted to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at the Game Place in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in Yu-Gi-Oh! Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at the Game Place (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]], one of the store's managers (he isn't the owner, though he's sometimes mistakenly described as such) would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at the Game Place==
[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
In his early days at the Game Place, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike," for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mims and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for Pokemon games in his old [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual colorful clown shirts and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy who he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's homophobia occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A gay regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mims and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mims and Lucas Q&A: Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

==Chris the TCG gamer==
{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}} Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store,<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh trading-card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Follow up]]</ref>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's Pokemon league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Follow up]]</ref> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting a month, which according to Lucas began on 4 April 2008.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards in actual games.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|Universal Fighting System card game]], often playing "bimbo" characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].

==The Game Place photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]
In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of the Game Place to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris e-mails: November 2007]]</ref> (Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative.) According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Follow up]]</ref>

Chris's "investigations" continued off and on for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at the Game Place on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym-leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into the Game Place and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sang along to Britney Spears during games, pitched fits inspired by his hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young black kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though — "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the police. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Initial post]]</ref>

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In March 2009 he attempted to apologise in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it]]. This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place.

Almost 2 years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe, on 12 April 2010, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw</ref>, yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived; whether the police's involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], the description of which solicits harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris' anti-Semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possible illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris's ban from the store]]</ref> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was something he called the "Wii incident," presumably an occasion when he took over the store TV with his game console. Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] entering [[China]].
{{clear}}

==Additional items==

*At some point in The Game Place Pokémon League history, Chris loudly objected to being paired up with "novices". These are ten-year-olds who still managed to beat him frequently.{{cite}}
*There have been emails sent by the person who manages TGP events, probably finally looking for reasons to ditch CWC's high-maintenance [[autism|HFA-ass]].{{cite}}

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official Website]

==References==
<references />

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

The GAMe PLACe

2010-04-13T15:13:40Z

Team CWCket: /* Unbanning attempts */

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|right|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|right|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store]]

{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

'''The GAMe PLACe''' is a [[Wikipedia:Games Workshop|Games Workshop]]-like Dungeons & Dragons game store that Chris went to every Friday to play ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' It hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|Pokémon TCG League]] where Chris served as volunteer gym leader. Chris was probably the oldest, at the age of 26. After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris got permabanned from the store by the manager [[Michael Schneider (Game Place)|Michael]] on 28 [[August 2008]].

==Patrons==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert]]

* [[Megan Schroeder]].
* [[Mimms]], who used to be friendly to Chris and later took the infamous picture.
* [[Lucas]], who posted said picture to 4chan.
* Little [[niggos]]. Chris acted like they wanted to steal from him by hiding his stuff whenever they were nearby.
* [[Niggo|TJ]], a huge black guy (yes, really) who is one of the best players in town. Once contemplated giving the manchild a serious beatdown, but was dissuaded by Chris's craven backpedalling.
* Other nerds.

==Chris's antics==
[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]
At the beginning, Chris never cursed. He also wore his Ash Ketchum costume every week, until he could no longer do so due to his weight.

Chris used ridiculous themed decks that never worked in Pokémon and he never used any strategy at all in Yu-Gi-Oh! In tournaments, Chris rarely made it past the first round. In a rare moment when he won, Chris shouted "I'm the level up king!" since that was the theme of his deck. Chris was helped in the tournament by the fact that most of the good players were out of town that week.

Chris was not a regular gym leader; the store owners realized that giving him any authority at all would end in disaster and allowed Chris to sub in only when the regular gym leaders couldn't make it. (Gym leaders are not employees, just people, generally parents, who keep track of the games.) Once, while acting as a gym leader, Chris went to the back room to get something without permission. This caused his first ban from the store for a month. Chris claimed that this incident was the final straw that got him banned forever, but Mimms reported that his final ban was for getting into a shouting match with one of the black kids.

==Emails regarding The Game Place==
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com
To: forgotwhatiknew@gmail.com
Sent: Mon, 5 Nov 2007 2:21:23 PM Eastern Standard Time
Subject: Hey, Anna

I have been recovering from the worst weekend of my life. In a nutshell, explicit fan art freaked me out, then someone else put a copyright symbol on their fan art (giving the impression of Sonichu being theirs), I responded to both offenses appropriately, then I Googled "Sonichu", and I found a page that deficated on my person and character. And the second photo-jpg on there was actually taken at The Game Place last Friday, with me thinkin' the dude was taking a pic of the child I was playing Pokémon TCG with. I had asked the guys at The Game Place to check their servaliance camera footage of the timeframe, so I could possibly learn the identity of the person who took that photo. But the guys could not get it to work; they have to talk to their boss-type person. One of them put things in perspective for me, I calmed down for a while. Then my mother comes in during my peace with a lecture of doing more things around the house; I waited for her to finish, then I bursted out the events in a mouth-running-faster-than-my-brain fashion. Now, she is possibly on a warpath against this dude. A hacking terrorist group, Anonymous, and 4Chan are somehow involved in that page as well.

Chris-chan - Encyclopedia Dramatica

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[sigh]]*

I'm sorry; I'm still recovering from the worst weekend of my life. I'll get back to you with more positive information soon.

Take care; Chris Chan.</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com
To: [[Megan Schroeder|yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com]]
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 1:23:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time
Subject: Follow up

I have been investigating, in addition to out-of-spite "adding fire to the flame", since I've first found it randomly in that fateful day, November 2, 2007. Please allow me to fill you in. My first major clues of a matching duo were the original date of the document creation, Wednesday, Ocotber 31, 2007, and this .jpg, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan, which was obviously taken on the previous Friday, October 26, 2007. For the week, my family and I were pondering the major suspect; the dude who took that pic, which I distinctly remember seeing the camera flash while I playing a young gentleman in Pokémon TCG. Thus, my family came in and we found that Mimms had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture. Then we've suspected Lucas, but we did not question him at the time. But a more obvious expression reply was found by myself, when Saturday March 8, 2008, at the Gamestop in Forest Lakes, the Midnight release event of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Mimms and I were watching a pair of tournament players brawling; one was playing Donkey Kong. So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing. And today, I looked up 4Chan on Wikipedia.com, http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg, apparently 4Chan is solely a web thing that people can go on and mess around for the attention, with examples of false bombings, hackers on MySpace, and more similar events listed on there. Upon the collected information on this case I've let set on the back-burner for a while, I can only suspect Lucas for being the culpret in putting that page up in the first place, because, seeing how close Mimms and Lucas were, he had as much access to the beforementioned pic from October 26 as Mimms did. Also, I photographically remember the person who took my pic that day being tall and wearing a long coat. I'd like to put Lucas under a spotlight and question him about this whole thing, then put him behind bars for descreation of someone else's character. I'd question him myself, but Mike of the Game Place said after my mother and father questioned Mimms that Friday night, if I were to bring up ANYTHING about that page again, he would kick me out of the Game Place for like a month. If you'd like to talk to Lucas discreetly about the subject, I'd appreciate it for the benefit of my investiga tion.

Megan, I am sorry about this whole mess, and having drawn that drawing, and raging the fire and hurting your feelings and emotions. If I can, not only will I get that drawing off that webpage, but I'll try to take down the whole thing. But I can't do it alone (my mother and father have been letting it set on the back-burner without giving it much thought).

I can only hope you'll forgive me, but no matter what, I still love you as my closest gal-pal.

I hope you feel better soon; Chris Chan.</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com
To: theprimegamer@comcast.net
Sent: Sat, 12 Jul 2008 3:16 am
Subject: More words to add, since I was typing the earlier message on my PSP...

I've only had a few things to keep me sane, my video games (mostly Guitar Hero), my family, going to church, and the ocassional outtings with my family. Seriously, I really miss my fridays at the Pokémon League.

BTW, Ty, did you get your Playstation 3 yet? If you have, please send me a Friend Request through the PSN; my PSN ID is "Sonichu". How are you on Guitar Hero III's "Raining Blood", and the other songs in that final set? I tell you what, "Raining Blood" is so darn difficult on any difficulty. My Hammer-Ons/Pull-Offs are good, but it is really difficult for me when the notes are so close together in a tight H-O/P-O stream.

But I digress, please send my regards to everyone at the League, especially Megan and John.

Peace;

Christian Chandler.

P.S.

I've sent an apology letter to Michael at the Game Place; I hope that he will have an open heart, accept the apology and allow me back into The Place. Otherwise, if his heart was so dang sealed shut, he would really be showing himself off as the biggest Jerk and potential B-tard.

I'm sorry; I'm still recovering from the worst weekend of my life. I'll get back to you with more positive information soon.

Take care; Chris Chan.</div>

==Unbanning attempts==

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in the e-mail to Ty, Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial ban. In March 2009 he attempted to apologise in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it]]. This was not the most sincere apology in the world, since Chris makes it clear in a [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place.

Almost 2 years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe, Chris visited the store again; specifically, to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows; Michael refused to revoke the ban, and Chris left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. Whether their involvement will continue remains to be seen.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[Youtube]], the description of which solicits harassing and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees; however, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris' anti-semitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possible illegal nature of the recording, it's fairly easy to see why it was pulled.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances his [[duck]] has of entering [[China]].

==Additional items==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

*At some point in The Game Place Pokémon League history, Chris loudly objected to being paired up with "novices". These are ten-year-olds who still managed to beat him frequently.
*There have been emails sent by the person who manages TGP events, probably finally looking for reasons to ditch CWC's high-maintenance [[autism|HFA-ass]].
*Chris reportedly brought in consoles and hogged the store's flat screen TV, angering the manager. Of course, Chris couldn't understand why a manager would be annoyed by a squealing man bogarting his TV for hours to play [[Animal Crossing]] on "da big screen." This was corroborated by Chris mentioning a "Wii incident" when he recorded himself confronting Michael Snyder.
*Chris has since been banned from the store for acting inappropriately (such as being a racist prick, personally insulting the manager and getting into arguments with children).

==Sauces==
*[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]

==External links==
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Official Website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]