CWCki - User contributions [en]

Common Questions

2022-05-27T01:22:18Z

Tehpope: added archive link to old yt vid

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Obviously, none of these were questions that Chris would be commonly asked by any sane, rational individual. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new Mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-Sonichu comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like Family Guy, [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], Excel Saga, and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for happily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and Rosechu and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being sad. 3) Love - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other Sonichus and Rosechus)? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain'']], [[Wikipedia:Borat|''Borat'']], [[Homos|''Bruno'']], [[Tomgirl Saga|''Crying Game'']], ''[[Wikipedia:Krull (film)|Krull]]''.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Saw|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All Pok'emon Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides Sonic the Hedgehog)?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random-access humor|Random]], Extensive, [[Autism|Tough to Comprehend]] sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides Sonic, Pokemon, and your daily struggles, what inspires your writing and art?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my [[Evan|Fans]]. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy drawing, and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, from Women Only.

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own [[China|ONE TRUE purpose in life]]? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel [[Love Quest|satisfied]] and at peace.

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , I do a lot of good deeds.

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to Hell. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the [[Third date|3rd date]]".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the Jewish, especially the [[Wikipedia:Book of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is cool.

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the Homos I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does [[Rosechu]] wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and Rosechu the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does Cindy Bear not wear clothes? Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants yet Sonic and Donald Duck do not? Why does Daisy Duck wear ONLY a Top, yet Minnie Mouse wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] CWCville, could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If Sonichu got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does Sonichu have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, social life, [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with [[Robbie Sonee|his family]].

*'''Q: [[Virginia]] lets you to [[Wikipedia:Cousin marriage law in the United States by state|marry your first cousin]], but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as [[Affair with Mother|MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER]] OR FATHER! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to my own father after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with Anger management and psychiatrist assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you randomly capitalize words when you type?'''
::A: I do not type in Caps at Random; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of [[JERKS|MEN]] in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|I will not discriminate]] the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about [[Homos|the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community]]? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote smoking or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of [[Sweetheart]] or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be [[Niggos|Black]].

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike Death Metal: [https://web.archive.org/web/20100125074618/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMBNNFObSM0 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving [[America]]ns as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are sour, mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean.

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and Reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; [[Chris and Money|THEY COST MONEY]].

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am ALREADY GROWN UP; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a great artist, and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's dead, and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured ''[sic]'' to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. Current financial situations and fear of change (a common Autistic Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bullc***.

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your [[Virgin with rage|virginity]]? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|40]].

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up Sonichu? Why or why not?'''
::A: Yes; I became famous, and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) [[Chris and religion|to be of a belief while not upholding that belief.]] 2) a total liar. 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the [[Fanbase|Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].

*'''Q: I noticed that you have [[The Simpsons|a Marge Simpson poster]] on your wall. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "[[Wikipedia:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a [[pickle]] on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid jerks with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks Retarded and something that a 2-Year Old can do? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as [[Chris and art|an Avid Artist]] and [[Chris_and_reality|Serious Person.]]

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Kazooie|Kazooie]]?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to Knuckles, but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and [[Simonchu]], but how do you feel about [[Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way [[Sean]] draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Chris and his Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]]. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to [[Barack Obama]] on the [[CWCipedia]]?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how Asperchu is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: [[Women's rights|She was caught off-guard at those times.]]

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way.

*'''Q: If you don't support [[Sonichu 10|the death penalty]], that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of [[Homos|gays]]? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|Kim Jong Il]], [[wikipedia:Hugo Chavez|Hugo Chavez]], or [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]] with your mailbags?'''
::A: I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first [[Niggos|black]] character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: [[Inos|That one]] is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like [[Louis Perez]].

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure [[Aspergers]], but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in CWCville?'''
::A: [[Honor roll|Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical]].

*'''Q: Why do you constantly edit the letters you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a Sonichu page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am drawing the pages For Real; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], [[Biological clock|Earlier Bedtime]] and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like Evan asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics art hasn't improved since [[2005]], do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of the Sonichu comic?'''
::A: On the contrary, [[Chris and art|my drawing skills have improved greatly over the years]], yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to sleep a while to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: [[Video games]] and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the basketball towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before [[PVCC|college]].

*'''Q: If you can't get [[Son-Chu|your car]] out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating your comic?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any video games out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to [[WeighIn|180 pounds]].

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing]] with your [[cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having [[Rosechu|a wife]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|kids]]?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original Rosechu.

*'''Q: If shoveling snow is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid [[Chris and money|$10]] to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: Hard work is good for me.

*'''Q: From between Issues [[Sonichu 0|#0]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]] Which [[Electric Hedgehog pokemon]] do you like least and why?'''
::A: [[Silvana Rosechu]], because of the [[Troll]] Influences, I felt forced to let [[Graduon]] magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|the Sonichus and Rosechus]] ever considered "[[Wikipedia:Swinging|swinging]]," aka swapping [[sex]] partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) Trolls Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having[[PSN|my accounts]] hacked into. 4) [[Clyde Cash]] breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my [[Nintendo|Wii]], He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, [[2007]], followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from [[High School]] after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. 11) The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], being friendly and kind in person, donating to various causes and a lot of other good things.

*'''Q: Why does homosexuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: [[Sonichu chronology#2000|18]]

*'''Q: At what age will [[Daughter|your future daughter]] inherit the title of mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; cyrstal is a kind of Mineral.

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "Jackie Chan" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for Computer Graphics during my Seinor Year at [[Manchester High]]; Sonic and Pikachu.

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did Sonichu ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the [[Wailord]] dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother [[Swampert]]?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate gay people so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the [[Chris and Censorship|f***]] the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking Hitler why he used the Swastika (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for [[CWCville|his whole mess]].

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP.

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and [[Puni Puni Poemy]], [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Unanswered==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the [[Xbox]] as much as you love PS3 and hates PS3 as much as you do the Xbox?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into jerkops, why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy your father nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the [[Asperpedia|Asperpals]] in real life the same way you did in your most recent comic book?

*'''Q: [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?]]

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the trolls?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

==See Also==

[[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions]] for our answers to questions that are actually common

{{Mailbag}}

Chris and hypocrisy

2022-05-22T00:51:58Z

Tehpope: /* "Parodies in jest" - Maturity */

{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and self-examination due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male population]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkop|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Jerkop|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Chris and stress|feel uncomfortable]], [[Sonic Boom Protests|suffer any inconveniences]], or be forced to actually [[Chris and work|put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== Maturity ===
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref>}}

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits himself]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== [[Work]] ===
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref name="mail7">[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and race|other people]], and [[Megan Schroeder|keeping his hands off women]].

===Other people with mental disabilities ===
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref name="irc1708">[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref name="irc1708" /> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

=== Tolerance ===
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref name="mail7" />}}

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay"]], though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010|Common Questions, January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== Homosexuality ===
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently, there is only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== Transphobia ===
While Chris has requested that people respect his identity change after coming out as [[transgender]], he has not demonstrated this same courtesy to another transgender person on one occasion - while under the [[manipulation]] of troll character [[Jeff/Francine]], a purported transwoman, Chris used her deadname (Jeff). He also mocked the status of Francine's gender transitioning and called her a "lady-man".<ref>[[Doxing_Jeff/Francine]]</ref> Soon after, he used masculine pronouns to describe Francine, said that she was "no woman", and mocked the fact that she went through a gender reassignment surgery, [[Chris and his ego|while also boasting about his own progress in transitioning]] (despite the fact that he looks largely the same as he did pre-transition, only growing his hair out and looking more bloated than usual).<ref>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref>

In spite of this, the Jeff/Francine example has proven to be an anomaly, as Chris has used preferred pronouns and identities of other transgender people, such as the MTF violet4151<ref>[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]]</ref> and [[Miss Cherry]], and the FTM Lukas of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] and [[Nowacking]].

=== Chris's creations ===
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], complaining about fan fiction.<ref name="dwasperchu">[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions, December 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref name="dwasperchu" /> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' – he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels – [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== Privacy ===
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Daniel_Mimms#Facebook|Facebook posts]]</ref>}}

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."

[[File:Facebook post 9 June 2012.png|thumb|right|150px|Quite possibly a troll.]]
While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted Chris, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.

=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="Sonichus in the basement" - [[Alec Benson Leary]]===
Chris is not only hypocritical in the rage he feels when someone makes an [[asperchu|unlicensed parody]] of his unlicensed parody, but he believes that doing so is against the wishes of the characters and [[chris and reality|hurts their feelings somehow]]. However him literally [[January_2021_social_media_posts#Bodyswap_announcement|taking over the body of Sonichu and dressing it in drag]] to the explicit discomfort of Sonichu is okay. Obviously, the entire thing is made up but it's real to Chris and therefore still counts.

==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===
Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip through his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

=== Leaving the Internet forever ===
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010]]</ref>}}
On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.

Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].

===Romantic rivalry===
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref>}}
One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].

In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular, during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity===
Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat". He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people – during his [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile", adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]
In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, documents were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games; naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook and claim Catherine sent him a copy.

==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.

==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] then Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."

==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card|July 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].

==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that women aren't into being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough to justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.

In 2018, Chris unconsensually kissed people on the cheek at a [[TooManyGames|convention]] and then, a month later, went on to tell people to not harass him and respect the rules at another [[BronyCon 2018|convention]].<ref>[[BronyCon 2018#Day 1]]</ref>

And his statements aren't the ''only'' time he has railed against someone for (alleged) perverse intent despite his own dirty laundry. For quite a while, he asserted that [[Bruce Johnson|his elementary school principal]] was molesting him and he denounced [[The GAMe PLACe]] for the fact that its owner was a sex offender (even going so far as to baselessly accuse [[Michael Snyder|his then-nemesis]] of being an incestuous pedophile).

As mentioned, he himself has molested various others (and once [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rapped about himself forcibly siring children with a woman trying to elude his sexual advances]]). As for incest accusations, he would later [[Affair with Mother|initiate sex with his elderly mother]].

===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.

===Finances===
In [[May 2019]], Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. This was only a day after he went to court for [[debt]], a consequence of [[Chris and money#Chris and impulse spending|reckless spending on toys and video games]]. Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green".

Only three days prior, he sold a dirty old blanket on [[eBay]] for $200,<ref>[[2019 Sales Listings#Rainbow Pride Throw Blanket|2019 Sales Listings]]</ref> which is only a minor episode in Chris's [[Financhu Crisis|long history of e-begging]] to sustain the Chandlers' aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage.

==="Break your own Fourth Wall!" - Dimensions===

On [[November 2019]], Chris has made a string of Twitter posts telling people to "break their [[Fourth Wall|fourth wall]]" in order to interact with the OC's living in their home dimensions. The term "[[OC]]" is what Chris uses to refer to any of the characters found within a cartoon. Chris believes that these characters are all sentient beings with their own consciences and feelings. Fast forward to a few days later, Chris becomes enraged when he sees the promo of [[Pony Life]]. Believing it to be a cartoon along the lines of Teen Titans Go solely due to its art style, Chris began starting rallies against the show on his Twitter account, spamming both Hasbro and people who showed any interest in the show with complaints. He even claims that he desires to kill all of the characters within the show itself by having it cancelled.

=== Forgiveness ===
Every so often, Chris will do something that serves to bother or even negatively impact those around him, be it loitering in a [[Get-Tar Region|retail]] [[Mal-Wart|setting]] to seek out a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], [[26 December 2014| assaulting employees of stores he was banned from]], [[Affair with Mother|engaging in sex with his elderly mother]] and so forth. Once he realizes he's in trouble and others have reacted negatively to any of his shenanigans, he'll sometimes [[Chris and remorse|try to serve an apology]] to whichever parties were hurt in the situation. Naturally, Chris' feeble and hollow expression of remorse is quickly denied, at which point he is bound to take such a thing personally.

A good example would be Chris' [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recording of an attempt to persuade]] [[Michael Snyder]] to revoke his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. When Chris' insincerity was point-blank rejected and he was urged to leave, Chris got indignant and pleaded for Snyder to "forgive and forget". Ironically, before and after this incident, Chris had been harboring complete animosity towards Snyder and the store itself to the point where [[28 October 2011|he eventually committed a hit-and-run against the then-newer owner himself]].

Even when [[This is how the Trial went|the case had been taken to court]], Chris refused to let go of his unjustified hatred towards Snyder, such that when informed he was to cover medical expenses (as part of a plea bargain to ensure Chris wouldn't suffer from a criminal record, mind you), he openly referred to the very man who had just arranged to make the case easier for him as 'a thieving liar'.

Even outside of that, Chris isn't really in any position whatsoever to chide others for a lack of forgiveness, considering one of many things he is infamous for is [[Chris and anger|a tendency to fly into extreme rage]] against others for perceived slights and/or attacks on him, sometimes going so far as to unleash [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|a "curse"]] or even [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|desire for them to be killed off]]. Not just that, but he has even held grudges against the aforementioned Michael Snyder, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Megan Schroeder]], all for things that were his own fault in the first place.

It should come as no surprise that even in [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris will screw up a message of forgiveness almost immediately after he says it. In [[Sonichu #8]], Rosechu reminds Sonichu of the importance of forgiveness but near the end of the same volume, a single [[Pickle|pickle]] getting thrown at her induces transformation into [[The Incredible Lioness]], whereupon she brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in retaliation.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

Megan Schroeder

2021-12-26T01:40:01Z

Tehpope: /* Years later */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Protip|Do NOT attempt to contact Megan.

She's moved on with her life and has already published a statement about Chris, making it clear she wants nothing to do with him. Don't drag her back into this, [[Incest|especially]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|in]] [[Post-Merge Era|these]] [[Carpetbaggers|times]].}}
{{Honest}}


{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Megan Schroeder
| image = ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg
| title = Megan Schroder
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| gender = Female
| saga = [[Megan]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[GAMe PLACe]]
}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' is a former [[gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest [[Chris_and_socialization|relationship]] with anybody he's ever had in his life, and previously the last potential [[sweetheart]] that Chris met that wasn't a [[troll]], [[Polyamorous marriage|a fictional character]], or [[Incest|his own mother]], [[The Suitress|until about seventeen years later]].

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]], where she and her brother [[John]] were regulars. Megan and Chris became good friends, but Chris, being Chris, completely misread their bond as one that could blossom into a true and honest romance. Megan repeatedly tried to set boundaries that Chris either misunderstood or ignored, which led to increasing tensions between the two. This reached a boiling point during the early days of Chris's feud with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], in which [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Chris drew a pornographic image of himself and Megan]].

Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, and realizing that he drew porn of her, Megan cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against her, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Borb|his parents]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe. Chris's attempted contacts with Megan have dragged on as late as [[2018]]. Thanks to the [[Idea Guys]], he later came to believe that she was a [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]], much like [[CPU Blue Heart|himself]], but Chris never got to speak with her again.

==Timeline==
[[Image:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|1000px|center]]

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claiming to be [[Chris_and_sexuality#Asexuality|asexual]]. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met at The GAMe PLACe in summer 2004, over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games]] marketed to preteens. It only took [[Third date|a few games]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil [[Jerkop]]s trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 27.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

Megan spent the summer of [[2007]] in [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]], where her brother was taking a summer course in Mechanics. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and use the trip offered in the contest to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}

{{quote|And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris, stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] and burning bridges with Megan for good<ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|...And the line has officially been crossed.]]

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of [[Prison Saga|incestuous desires]] by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on 18 March 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to '''[[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just ''being'' in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://archive.vn/rB99e Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC was the last step in euthanizing a dying relationship, rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. [[Michael Snyder|Mike]]". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan, though it was most likely a troll posing as her seeing as she had cut off all ties with him.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still couldn't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: [[JERKS|JERK]].]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On 4 April [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a 20 July 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref>

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "[[Manajerk]]", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to [[Financhu Crisis|the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!]] The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

[[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]
On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref><ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]</ref> Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris would continue to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

In late 2020, Chris [[Spirit possession|(while "possessed" by Sonichu)]] revealed that he no longer believed Megan to be a troll, but that "[Chris] was to blame for all of the very stupid impulses and mistakes that ended that friendship."<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11#Chris's Closest Friend]]</ref> This seeming forgiveness may have been spurred on by his belief that Megan is a CPU goddess. It also shows [[Chris and his ego#Persecution complex|Chris's self-serving memory]] in action, considering that she was justified to feel uncomfortable at his unwanted advances on her and understandably creeped out by ShecameforCWC.JPG.

==Years later==
{{quote|I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv- living mine. It's all done and over with.|Chris, finally moving on}}

On 26 January 2016, in the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], Sir Arthur Spatchcock brought up the topic of Megan and the [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|grudge]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Pissed off|Chris]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Damn You|had]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Address|against]] [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#GAMe PLACe revelations|her]]. Chris claims that he has finally gotten over that grudge, wishing for her to be left alone to live her own life.

In February 2017, Chris looked up and browsed through Megan's Facebook account,<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Found Megan's Facebook]]</ref> sharing one of her drawings to his own account. When asked by [[Kim Wilson]] if they were friends again, Chris responded:

{{quotebox|Not quite; I just gone through my past and recent sent friend requests, found Megan Schroeder, and I liked her cover photo; it's cute. She has a few cute dogs too. At least, she's doing okay; as far as I can tell.}}

The act of searching for his ex-[[gal pal]] came just four days after Chris posted about his feelings of nostalgia for his "friends" from [[Manchester High]].

Megan was asked about Chris on her Etsy page on July 1 2017. This was her response: <ref>https://1drv.ms/u/s!Aj5gd-lUeHJyhUknNI2IkmGQC1eq</ref>

{{quotebox|'''Hi'''

Thank you very much! Unfortunately with Chris he never learns from his mistakes, he refuses to accept any accountability. When I heard about the house fire, I thought maybe it was a blessing in disguise and he would start a new better life with a clean slate. But from whatI hear, no, he still begs for money and spends it all on legos...

Well thanks for the good wishes, I really appreciate that!}}

On 9 [[October 2017]], Chris once again looked up Megan's Facebook for her online store and left a comment on it:<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Complimenting_Megan_Schroeder</ref>

{{quotebox|I just wanted to tell you I like your craft and are. You have become a lot more talented over the years. Many blessing to you and your family. 🌸}}

The post was later removed.

On 19 [[May 2018]], a full decade after Megan cut off all communications with him, Chris issued a public apology to Megan and her brother and expressed his desire to reopen old wounds by speaking with them:<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997900592084238336</ref>

{{quotebox|I want to once again humbly apologize to Megan and John Schroeder. I know I did y'all wrong back in the day but time heals all wounds. It would be nice to hear from you with just a simple "hi" or "best of luck". After all of These Years I still need closure.}}

When asked why he would issue this apology publicly when she clearly does not want to be associated with him, Chris responded that he had no choice because she blocked him on Facebook.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997901813868257281</ref>

During the [[Idea Guys]] saga, Chris's belief in multiple dimensions was exploited and his sense of reality hijacked to make changes to many of Chris's characters, concepts and perspective of the real world, with him considering them to be valid. Ideas involving Megan include:

*Megan having the memories of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Red Heart]], which she earned while in politics.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1015420612494397441</ref>

On 17 [[October 2018]], Chris declared on [[Twitter]] that if he and Barb received [[Financhu Crisis|enough donations]], he would personally drive over to Megan's house and take Barb and his "[[Polyamorous marriage|poly-loves]]" with him. About nineteen minutes later, he backtracked on his claim after learning Megan possesses [https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052621336751702019 guns].

On 4 [[April 2019]], a trailer for the documentary ''[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]'' was released, which featured brief footage of and narration by a brunette woman, shot from behind, speculated and later confirmed to be Megan herself. According to the [[2020 Discord leaks]], Megan actually wanted to physically reunite with Chris, thinking it would be fun; the film's director, Joseph Draft, vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced" (not to mention, arguably ''dangerous''). Megan would later request for her footage to be cut entirely from the film, a wish that was unintentionally granted when Draft destroyed the hard drive containing the film's only known completed copy.

On 7 January 2021, Megan was asked if her association with Chris and the ensuing status of minor internet celebrity that came with it was ever thought about. She gave a [[Honest Content|True and Honest]] response, saying that she doesn't even think of it.<ref>[[https://i.imgur.com/AMoHZbI.png]]</ref>

==Interviews==
During January 2019, a YouTuber by the moniker BazzBe interviewed Megan over Facebook. BazzBe then put together a video narrating the chat.

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = BazzBe's Interview with Megan Schroeder
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9FdLfSDD14o}}
| Stardate = January 2019
| Featuring =
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
{{quoteboxyellow|[''autistic sigh''] Oh man. Alright, so, like I said earlier in the video [this is part five of a series, he is apparently referring to an earlier part], I did get the chance to speak to Megan today. Um, hold on [fiddles with screen, which due to being 480px is almost completely unreadable on YouTube] ... uh huh, I was [hiding?] the messages.

So basically, I messaged her, uh, it was accidentally, but I messaged her on her business page because apparently she's in business now and, like, cool. So she asked me to talk to her on her normal page, so I did, I found her, and I asked her: so, I'm sure that you know what I want to talk about, things from past events.

She said: '''Oh yeah, you know, Chris.'''

And I told her, like, I'm very drawn to the story, I've been covering it on YouTube, and I figured it would be cool if I could contact to you so I could see how things, like, how you feel about it nowadays.

She goes: '''Well honestly, I don't follow his antics at all, I've seen a few recent things from someone that alerts me that he's doing things regarding me or whatever.'''

And I asked her, well, were you ever really friends, or did you just feel pity for him?

She said, '''No, I'd say despite his advances, it was a good friendship. He was a lot of fun to converse with. People think that I was using him for things.''' (Which I've heard a lot of people say she was just using him to buy things, but it's been like fifteen years, what would she gain from lying to us?) '''People think that I've been using him for things, but I'd always presented him gifts for his birthday or Christmas. Things from eBay I would either give cash or trade for mangas or DVDs or whatever.'''

I said, did you ever think you would reunite, how do you feel about ... sorry I'm tired ... how do you feel about being a part of all this and having a fanbase?

And she said, '''I didn't know I had fans too.'''

[''Vaguely thirsty grin''] You do! '''Personally I think it's best to stay away and not be involved with him again.''' I said, yeah, you do have a fanbase, and you're definitely the saddest part of the story in my opinion. I do generally believe that, now I know a lot about some of the upcoming stuff that's coming to the fore but I will say Megan was the part where it started going downhill. She was the beginning of the snowball effect, and I think that's when the rock bottom starts to come if you know what I mean, 'cause that was like, the last real friend he had before he fucked it all up.

Ah, ok, where was I at?

'''Comparing him now, I'd say he was definitely more normal during my time with him. That's saying something.'''

How many others have contacted you over this?

'''Oh, I couldn't keep count. It's always been through facebook and as well as Etsy, it's always been half and half condolences and trolls, weens trying to get a reaction or a reply out of me.'''

I told her I was just fascinated by the whole thing and I'm happy to have contacted you and have you take the time to take part in this. And she didn't mind, I was very awesome, I mean, damn that's cool. I was always, oh, I'm sorry, I was wanting to interview her on Discord so I could record our voices talking about it, but honestly I didn't think she would know how to use Discord, [''strange noise''], I'm not saying anything bad, she's a little bit older than me, also, it was like 9:30 in the morning so ... I told her I was sorry to bother her and I understand this might be effecting your life in a negative way because I understand about the artwork and stuff. And she said well, not necessarily, I made a couple of really close friends because of it, I think there's a misconception out there that the whole thing traumatized me which isn't the case at all.

That's good. That's actually something I was curious about. And I asked her [''laughs''], does she still enjoy Sailor Moon and My Little Pony?

She said, '''I have a Sailor Moon collection but I don't actively collect it anymore. It's been both a hobby and an investment. A few dolls sell now on eBay for $500 each. That's for Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and MLP''' -- My Little Pony [''autistic smirk''] -- '''I sold those off a few years ago. I still play 3DS games and have a few Pikachu plush but I'm not into the whole anime fandom thing.'''

OK, fair enough. I asked her do you still remain in Virginia or did you escape?

She said she's still in Virginia and she's done some traveling around and overseas. So, then she told me that she was going to take her dogs or go feed her animals, and I said that was fine, but then I just went ahead and said hey, let's just postpone the rest of this and we'll just finish up tomorrow or, like, another day. Um ... yeah [''smirks again''] There's so much more I want to find out and I want to see, like, what all she's willing to discuss, but if you're interested in, like, I wouldn't say contacting, because I don't want anyone to really harass this woman, let her live her life.

If you are interested in buying one of her, uh, forest things ... I didn't actually really take the time to look at these, they're kind of cool ... [''weird smile, long pause''] ... but yeah, if you're interested in like, buying one of these, um, I'd say contact her, they look pretty interesting and you know some people have, like, a thing for cute animals, and I think I might just buy one, just to promote, so, thank you Megan, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me about this stuff today. Hopefully we can continue this and go a little bit deeper into it, but, alright. Thank you guys for washing, I really appreciate it, drop me a like, subscribe, help me out, and I will see you guys for part six. I can't wait. Goodnight.}}

A lost interview was also conducted at some point during 2019, for the cancelled ''[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]'' documentary, however, the director got cold feet and refused to release any of the documentary footage. A single line of Megan's from the interview is preserved from the documentary's trailer: "Now, he... he seems like a totally different person to me."

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are traced from [http://info.sonicretro.org/File:Advance2_sonic.png this artwork] of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg|An OC based on the [[Pokémon]] Houndoom.
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg|An OC based on Absol.
Image:321-IceCune.jpg|An OC based on Suicune.
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan ace of clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yoshimitsu]] drawing, made in [[1990s|1996]].<ref name="tekken forces">[https://web.archive.org/web/20091012030656/http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php Tekken Forces Fanart Gallery]</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girls]]''-style Yoshimitsu<ref name="tekken forces"/>
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{Sagas}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Megan Schroeder

2021-12-26T01:39:00Z

Tehpope:

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Protip|Do NOT attempt to contact Megan.

She's moved on with her life and has already published a statement about Chris, making it clear she wants nothing to do with him. Don't drag her back into this, [[Incest|especially]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|in]] [[Post-Merge Era|these]] [[Carpetbaggers|times]].}}
{{Honest}}


{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Megan Schroeder
| image = ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg
| title = Megan Schroder
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| gender = Female
| saga = [[Megan]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[GAMe PLACe]]
}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' is a former [[gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest [[Chris_and_socialization|relationship]] with anybody he's ever had in his life, and previously the last potential [[sweetheart]] that Chris met that wasn't a [[troll]], [[Polyamorous marriage|a fictional character]], or [[Incest|his own mother]], [[The Suitress|until about seventeen years later]].

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]], where she and her brother [[John]] were regulars. Megan and Chris became good friends, but Chris, being Chris, completely misread their bond as one that could blossom into a true and honest romance. Megan repeatedly tried to set boundaries that Chris either misunderstood or ignored, which led to increasing tensions between the two. This reached a boiling point during the early days of Chris's feud with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], in which [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Chris drew a pornographic image of himself and Megan]].

Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, and realizing that he drew porn of her, Megan cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against her, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Borb|his parents]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe. Chris's attempted contacts with Megan have dragged on as late as [[2018]]. Thanks to the [[Idea Guys]], he later came to believe that she was a [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]], much like [[CPU Blue Heart|himself]], but Chris never got to speak with her again.

==Timeline==
[[Image:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|1000px|center]]

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claiming to be [[Chris_and_sexuality#Asexuality|asexual]]. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met at The GAMe PLACe in summer 2004, over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games]] marketed to preteens. It only took [[Third date|a few games]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil [[Jerkop]]s trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 27.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

Megan spent the summer of [[2007]] in [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]], where her brother was taking a summer course in Mechanics. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and use the trip offered in the contest to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}

{{quote|And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris, stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] and burning bridges with Megan for good<ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|...And the line has officially been crossed.]]

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of [[Prison Saga|incestuous desires]] by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on 18 March 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to '''[[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just ''being'' in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://archive.vn/rB99e Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC was the last step in euthanizing a dying relationship, rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. [[Michael Snyder|Mike]]". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan, though it was most likely a troll posing as her seeing as she had cut off all ties with him.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still couldn't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: [[JERKS|JERK]].]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On 4 April [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a 20 July 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref>

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "[[Manajerk]]", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to [[Financhu Crisis|the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!]] The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

[[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]
On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref><ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]</ref> Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris would continue to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

In late 2020, Chris [[Spirit possession|(while "possessed" by Sonichu)]] revealed that he no longer believed Megan to be a troll, but that "[Chris] was to blame for all of the very stupid impulses and mistakes that ended that friendship."<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11#Chris's Closest Friend]]</ref> This seeming forgiveness may have been spurred on by his belief that Megan is a CPU goddess. It also shows [[Chris and his ego#Persecution complex|Chris's self-serving memory]] in action, considering that she was justified to feel uncomfortable at his unwanted advances on her and understandably creeped out by ShecameforCWC.JPG.

==Years later==
{{quote|I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv- living mine. It's all done and over with.|Chris, finally moving on}}

On 26 January 2016, in the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], Sir Arthur Spatchcock brought up the topic of Megan and the [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|grudge]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Pissed off|Chris]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Damn You|had]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Address|against]] [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#GAMe PLACe revelations|her]]. Chris claims that he has finally gotten over that grudge, wishing for her to be left alone to live her own life.

In February 2017, Chris looked up and browsed through Megan's Facebook account,<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Found Megan's Facebook]]</ref> sharing one of her drawings to his own account. When asked by [[Kim Wilson]] if they were friends again, Chris responded:

{{quotebox|Not quite; I just gone through my past and recent sent friend requests, found Megan Schroeder, and I liked her cover photo; it's cute. She has a few cute dogs too. At least, she's doing okay; as far as I can tell.}}

The act of searching for his ex-[[gal pal]] came just four days after Chris posted about his feelings of nostalgia for his "friends" from [[Manchester High]].

Megan was asked about Chris on her Etsy page on July 1 2017. This was her response: <ref>https://1drv.ms/u/s!Aj5gd-lUeHJyhUknNI2IkmGQC1eq#Megan Etsy Message</ref>

{{quotebox|'''Hi'''

Thank you very much! Unfortunately with Chris he never learns from his mistakes, he refuses to accept any accountability. When I heard about the house fire, I thought maybe it was a blessing in disguise and he would start a new better life with a clean slate. But from whatI hear, no, he still begs for money and spends it all on legos...

Well thanks for the good wishes, I really appreciate that!}}

On 9 [[October 2017]], Chris once again looked up Megan's Facebook for her online store and left a comment on it:<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Complimenting_Megan_Schroeder</ref>

{{quotebox|I just wanted to tell you I like your craft and are. You have become a lot more talented over the years. Many blessing to you and your family. 🌸}}

The post was later removed.

On 19 [[May 2018]], a full decade after Megan cut off all communications with him, Chris issued a public apology to Megan and her brother and expressed his desire to reopen old wounds by speaking with them:<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997900592084238336</ref>

{{quotebox|I want to once again humbly apologize to Megan and John Schroeder. I know I did y'all wrong back in the day but time heals all wounds. It would be nice to hear from you with just a simple "hi" or "best of luck". After all of These Years I still need closure.}}

When asked why he would issue this apology publicly when she clearly does not want to be associated with him, Chris responded that he had no choice because she blocked him on Facebook.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997901813868257281</ref>

During the [[Idea Guys]] saga, Chris's belief in multiple dimensions was exploited and his sense of reality hijacked to make changes to many of Chris's characters, concepts and perspective of the real world, with him considering them to be valid. Ideas involving Megan include:

*Megan having the memories of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Red Heart]], which she earned while in politics.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1015420612494397441</ref>

On 17 [[October 2018]], Chris declared on [[Twitter]] that if he and Barb received [[Financhu Crisis|enough donations]], he would personally drive over to Megan's house and take Barb and his "[[Polyamorous marriage|poly-loves]]" with him. About nineteen minutes later, he backtracked on his claim after learning Megan possesses [https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052621336751702019 guns].

On 4 [[April 2019]], a trailer for the documentary ''[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]'' was released, which featured brief footage of and narration by a brunette woman, shot from behind, speculated and later confirmed to be Megan herself. According to the [[2020 Discord leaks]], Megan actually wanted to physically reunite with Chris, thinking it would be fun; the film's director, Joseph Draft, vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced" (not to mention, arguably ''dangerous''). Megan would later request for her footage to be cut entirely from the film, a wish that was unintentionally granted when Draft destroyed the hard drive containing the film's only known completed copy.

On 7 January 2021, Megan was asked if her association with Chris and the ensuing status of minor internet celebrity that came with it was ever thought about. She gave a [[Honest Content|True and Honest]] response, saying that she doesn't even think of it.<ref>[[https://i.imgur.com/AMoHZbI.png]]</ref>

==Interviews==
During January 2019, a YouTuber by the moniker BazzBe interviewed Megan over Facebook. BazzBe then put together a video narrating the chat.

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = BazzBe's Interview with Megan Schroeder
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9FdLfSDD14o}}
| Stardate = January 2019
| Featuring =
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
{{quoteboxyellow|[''autistic sigh''] Oh man. Alright, so, like I said earlier in the video [this is part five of a series, he is apparently referring to an earlier part], I did get the chance to speak to Megan today. Um, hold on [fiddles with screen, which due to being 480px is almost completely unreadable on YouTube] ... uh huh, I was [hiding?] the messages.

So basically, I messaged her, uh, it was accidentally, but I messaged her on her business page because apparently she's in business now and, like, cool. So she asked me to talk to her on her normal page, so I did, I found her, and I asked her: so, I'm sure that you know what I want to talk about, things from past events.

She said: '''Oh yeah, you know, Chris.'''

And I told her, like, I'm very drawn to the story, I've been covering it on YouTube, and I figured it would be cool if I could contact to you so I could see how things, like, how you feel about it nowadays.

She goes: '''Well honestly, I don't follow his antics at all, I've seen a few recent things from someone that alerts me that he's doing things regarding me or whatever.'''

And I asked her, well, were you ever really friends, or did you just feel pity for him?

She said, '''No, I'd say despite his advances, it was a good friendship. He was a lot of fun to converse with. People think that I was using him for things.''' (Which I've heard a lot of people say she was just using him to buy things, but it's been like fifteen years, what would she gain from lying to us?) '''People think that I've been using him for things, but I'd always presented him gifts for his birthday or Christmas. Things from eBay I would either give cash or trade for mangas or DVDs or whatever.'''

I said, did you ever think you would reunite, how do you feel about ... sorry I'm tired ... how do you feel about being a part of all this and having a fanbase?

And she said, '''I didn't know I had fans too.'''

[''Vaguely thirsty grin''] You do! '''Personally I think it's best to stay away and not be involved with him again.''' I said, yeah, you do have a fanbase, and you're definitely the saddest part of the story in my opinion. I do generally believe that, now I know a lot about some of the upcoming stuff that's coming to the fore but I will say Megan was the part where it started going downhill. She was the beginning of the snowball effect, and I think that's when the rock bottom starts to come if you know what I mean, 'cause that was like, the last real friend he had before he fucked it all up.

Ah, ok, where was I at?

'''Comparing him now, I'd say he was definitely more normal during my time with him. That's saying something.'''

How many others have contacted you over this?

'''Oh, I couldn't keep count. It's always been through facebook and as well as Etsy, it's always been half and half condolences and trolls, weens trying to get a reaction or a reply out of me.'''

I told her I was just fascinated by the whole thing and I'm happy to have contacted you and have you take the time to take part in this. And she didn't mind, I was very awesome, I mean, damn that's cool. I was always, oh, I'm sorry, I was wanting to interview her on Discord so I could record our voices talking about it, but honestly I didn't think she would know how to use Discord, [''strange noise''], I'm not saying anything bad, she's a little bit older than me, also, it was like 9:30 in the morning so ... I told her I was sorry to bother her and I understand this might be effecting your life in a negative way because I understand about the artwork and stuff. And she said well, not necessarily, I made a couple of really close friends because of it, I think there's a misconception out there that the whole thing traumatized me which isn't the case at all.

That's good. That's actually something I was curious about. And I asked her [''laughs''], does she still enjoy Sailor Moon and My Little Pony?

She said, '''I have a Sailor Moon collection but I don't actively collect it anymore. It's been both a hobby and an investment. A few dolls sell now on eBay for $500 each. That's for Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and MLP''' -- My Little Pony [''autistic smirk''] -- '''I sold those off a few years ago. I still play 3DS games and have a few Pikachu plush but I'm not into the whole anime fandom thing.'''

OK, fair enough. I asked her do you still remain in Virginia or did you escape?

She said she's still in Virginia and she's done some traveling around and overseas. So, then she told me that she was going to take her dogs or go feed her animals, and I said that was fine, but then I just went ahead and said hey, let's just postpone the rest of this and we'll just finish up tomorrow or, like, another day. Um ... yeah [''smirks again''] There's so much more I want to find out and I want to see, like, what all she's willing to discuss, but if you're interested in, like, I wouldn't say contacting, because I don't want anyone to really harass this woman, let her live her life.

If you are interested in buying one of her, uh, forest things ... I didn't actually really take the time to look at these, they're kind of cool ... [''weird smile, long pause''] ... but yeah, if you're interested in like, buying one of these, um, I'd say contact her, they look pretty interesting and you know some people have, like, a thing for cute animals, and I think I might just buy one, just to promote, so, thank you Megan, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me about this stuff today. Hopefully we can continue this and go a little bit deeper into it, but, alright. Thank you guys for washing, I really appreciate it, drop me a like, subscribe, help me out, and I will see you guys for part six. I can't wait. Goodnight.}}

A lost interview was also conducted at some point during 2019, for the cancelled ''[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]'' documentary, however, the director got cold feet and refused to release any of the documentary footage. A single line of Megan's from the interview is preserved from the documentary's trailer: "Now, he... he seems like a totally different person to me."

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are traced from [http://info.sonicretro.org/File:Advance2_sonic.png this artwork] of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg|An OC based on the [[Pokémon]] Houndoom.
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg|An OC based on Absol.
Image:321-IceCune.jpg|An OC based on Suicune.
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan ace of clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yoshimitsu]] drawing, made in [[1990s|1996]].<ref name="tekken forces">[https://web.archive.org/web/20091012030656/http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php Tekken Forces Fanart Gallery]</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girls]]''-style Yoshimitsu<ref name="tekken forces"/>
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{Sagas}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2021-12-17T23:40:43Z

Tehpope:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8''' is the eighth and the second to last of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 18 February 2010.

==Summary==
Alec calls Chris, at the latter's request, to discuss the inclusion of [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] in the [[CWCipedia]] ad space. Chris, naturally, wants the pages taken down, but Alec explains the many ways in which Chris reneged on their earlier agreement concerning the removal of Asperpedia's ads. From there, the conversation spirals out into a lengthy discussion of Chris's laziness, hypocrisy, bigotry, and dishonesty, until [[stress]] finally overwhelms him and he refuses to continue.

Some of Chris's strangest psychological issues find prominent display here. For instance, his difficulty accepting the fact that his fictional characters are exactly that - fictional - leads to a bizarre passage where Alec is able to swamp him with guilt regarding the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. It takes several minutes for Chris to come up with a partial admission that his characters don't actually have a life of their own. Chris's repetition of the idiom "killing people left and right" suggests a very minor [[CWC-ism]] (Chris likes idioms).

On more everyday topics, Chris claims to be spending some time lately cleaning up his family's [[14 Branchland Court|disaster area of a house]], [[Lies|although there has never been any corroborating evidence to confirm this]]. Of course, he describes simple household maintenance tasks in tones most people usually reserve for the torments of the damned. He also claims to have some 30 pages of his comic in the works for publication on his birthday, February 24, but can't come up with a decent explanation for why he wouldn't upload at least some of those pages sooner and maintain a more regular update schedule. (In the end, he managed to upload only 20 of the promised pages, and they arrived a day late.) When Alec tells Chris that he has seen the video tour of his house, Chris panics and mashes buttons on his phone in a desperate attempt to disconnect from the call. (How Chris [[Honor roll|managed to believe that would disconnect the call and not simply pressing the "End" button]] is a mystery.)

Chris's fear of [[homos]]exuals seems to remain in effect, despite his recent claims of a change of heart on the subject. While at one point Chris says he now "sees them in a more positive light," he apparently still wants to see all the homos vaccinated and turned into decent, honest straight people. Chris claims that this will save them from going to hell, but he's unable to cite any scriptural or other basis for this belief. Alec points out that Chris is unfairly stereotyping homosexuals in the same way other people might stereotype autistics, a point that was likely lost on Chris two or three minutes after Alec made it.

Eventually, just as in their [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|previous phone call]], Alec's comments become ever-so-slightly pointed, which is enough to drive Chris into a full-speed retreat. He manages to muster a polite goodbye instead of simply hanging up, but he is clearly in no mood to face any more harsh reality.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|nKZogX_Q0BY}}
| Stardate = 18 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Hi Alec.

'''Alec:''' So uh, [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec, but Alec wins''] I got your e-mail, uh, looks like you want to talk. What's, uh, what's up?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, uh, just to let you know that I'm uh, that I'm in the middle of dinner right now so we'll have to make this short. But, ahh, yeah, I am a bit, uh, concerned that you have continued with the, ahh, oversized ads on the [[CWCipedia]]... I mean those- the smaller banner ads- that was that was okay. I would have accepted that- I would have accepted that on a daily basis. But, no, you had to add- you had to go and... [''Alec begins to talk over Chris'']

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' add-

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' a whole-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' CHRIS!

'''Chris:''' page-

'''Alec:''' ''CHRIS!''

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Alec:''' You asked me to call you... ''right'' at 9:30 and when I do, you're [[obesity|eating dinner?]]

[''Alec sounds understandably annoyed.'']

'''Chris:''' Well, I wasn't sure, because I'm...

'''Alec:''' What are you eating?

'''Chris:''' I'm having some chicken.

'''Alec:''' I- ugh. Chris, [[Chris and his ego|if you're going to ask someone to go out of their way for you for something you should probably... actually allow them to do so and not act like you are inconvenienced when they do.]] That's just a suggestion. But I-

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' But I- well... I-I-I think [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec for this whole sentence''] maybe, if you actually want to have a serious discussion- that's why I called... but... maybe let the chicken wait until we're done with our call, how about that? Cuz' I don't like calling you only to hear that you have something else to do even though this is the exact time you told me to call.

'''Chris:''' Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' So. So. So, why don't we have our talk, and maybe the chicken will get cold, but you can microwave it when we're done.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So we had the understanding that we were not going to go back to the oversize ads again.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Okay, well, I can explain that. Do you remember how I told you that if you met my requirements exactly, I would remove the ads, but if you failed to meet my requirements, the ads would get worse? Do you remember when I said that to you?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes...I...that...

'''Alec:''' So you failed to meet my requirements. You did meet Evan's requirements, apparently. Evan is happy with you, and I'm proud of you for doing that, because Evan is, he's satisfied that you killed Simonla. However, I am not Evan, and I had different requirements than Evan.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, why are you not satisfied?

'''Alec:''' Mm. Well, there's a few reasons. First and foremost, you did not state all of the things that I told you to in your apology video. Like how Sonichu cannot make money in its current form and is a doomed franchise and you will need to start over with something original. You made no mention of that. Already. Next, your last apology video was... Well, "insincere" is kind of too lenient, if I called it that. It was just, it was just insulting. I mean, you obviously felt absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Even though you swore up and down to me when I talked to you that you did. But I'm pretty sure you just wanted to finish the phone call, and you thought that you could just read things off a list and that would please me. Oh, and then you hung up on me, I think like five or six times.

'''Chris:''' And I did, the last one I did apologize for that in the e-mail I sent you.

'''Alec:''' Um, but you hung up on me multiple times. Chris, I think that you believe, I think you believe that if you do something wrong and then you offer a superficial apology, you believe that gives you license to just do it all over again. You know, that's not what apology is about, right?

'''Chris:''' That is not what apologies are about.

'''Alec:''' Okay. And the reason you hung up on me is because you were trying to avoid me. You were trying to just brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I will admit that, the last one, and I apologize for that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. So, if you want that apology to mean anything, then in the future, including this call, and if we talk again, you are actually going to have to stick to that word and not ever again attempt to brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' That make sense? Now. Let's talk about those ads for a bit. If you notice, they really aren't ads for Asperpedia anymore. What I started, I started a new comic, called [[Sonichu Revolution]]. And that's actually what I'm using the adspace for. And what Sonichu Revolution is, it's actually, it's like a reboot of Sonichu, see, since you aren't uploading pages I thought I would do a nice thing for your fans and use my ad space to keep your fans happy.

'''Chris:''' [''has been trying to interrupt''] Well, no, I am, I am doing the pages now. Listen, your comic pages, they should, they should stay on your website, your website alone. I do not want your pages on my website that only shows my pages.

'''Alec:''' Oh, it's kinda too bad that I bought ad space on your website, when I gave you multiple opportunities to get out of me having web space, er, ad space on your website. You didn't take them. I can do what I want with my ad space.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' How many times did I, was I gracious enough to give you an extremely easy way out of all of this?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, not sure. Define, define "easy."

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, by "easy" I mean, how many times did I lay out a very clear, very specific set of requirements that I had of you, and where I promised that if you followed those requirements, exactly, then I would remove all my ads and I would do my best to stop Evan from, you know, attempting to sue you. Evan's, you know, in the past, he's happy now, but my ads are still an issue. And you know, I asked you to be sincere about the apology, which you never were.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, just to let you know, okay, well, I understand for, yes, uh, you did offer me with, you did tell me very descriptively, very detailed-ly, what you wanted, a number of times. I'm gonna est-, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna estimate like about five to 10 times at this point. Because we have not talked over the phone that much. For maybe 20, or 20 max, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go with that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, we've talked... Well, it's not quite that high. I think three or four times I specifically laid everything out for you.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, well, okay, at this point, yeah. An overbid is a good estimate.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Alright, I'll give you that one. So yeah, multiple times I gave you opportunities to, you know, to handle the situation and to come out scot-free. And, if I remember correctly, I did talk about how you are the luckiest person in the world, to have competition like me, who would be so generous and go out of his way to help his competition. I mean, a lot of other companies would have just blown you out of the water and not thought twice about it. But, you know, I like Sonichu, or I used to like it, back when you actually updated it, and I know that it does have some fans still and I wanted to see it continue. Because I don't want to just take over everything. I don't want to be the only artist out there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That's not fun. You kind of want to be the only artist in existence, I don't know why you want that. Why do you want that, anyway? Why do you not want other artists to exist?

'''Chris:''' Um, I never said, I never said that I did not want other artists to...

'''Alec:''' Well, you said it with your actions, if not with words directly.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, maybe...

'''Alec:''' I think we talked about that one time. Actions are louder than words, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, perhaps my actions were misunderstood in this case...

'''Alec:''' Ooh, not misunderstood in the least! Oh, no, your actions are very clear. You slandered and smeared me as much as you possibly could. You put all of your effort into trashing me rather than building up your own comic. There's... If you can convince me there's some way to misunderstand that, then you know, by all means try, but as far as I could see that was a pretty clear message. It's hard to misunderstand that, it's hard to misunderstand, you know, you repeatedly hanging up on me.

'''Barbara:''' [''Distant background''] Who are you on the phone with? [''She continues to occasionally make background noise'']

'''Chris:''' I know, I...

'''Alec:''' You've been out of commission for like three weeks, you haven't done shit for your fans. When are you going to come back with your comic?

'''Chris:''' I, I am, I, I still, I am, I have been working on my comic, for your information. I am up to pages in book number 11 where I have drawn that far, and I'm about halfway colored through all those pages which I drew up.

'''Alec:''' How many pages is that?

'''Chris:''' That's over 30 now.

'''Alec:''' Over 30. Really. How many days since you started that particular 30 pages.

'''Alec:''' Has it been, like, what, two weeks? 15 days, around there?

'''Chris:''' Around there.

'''Alec:''' Okay, uh... I'm not really sure if asking this is going to be useful, but why would you partially complete 30 pages instead of, say, completing and uploading 20 pages? Or 25?

'''Chris:''' That would hap-, that would happen to make up for lost time on on my birthday, which is this coming, which is the next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what about your birthday? What are you going to do with it?

'''Chris:''' I'm going to upload all those, all those, all those pages, all the main pages in a bundle, in a bunch, on my birthday, which is next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, until then I think I'll just keep uploading Sonichu Revolution, because I want to please your fans, even if you don't. Chris, why, why would you...

'''Chris:''' I gave my new, I put up a new page yesterday as well. The last page I had...

'''Alec:''' So that... That, yep, I saw that, actually, that one page, plus I think you had two pages where you killed Simonla, so that's three pages total in like three weeks.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, anyways...

'''Alec:''' I do two pages a day. That means I've uploaded, in the past 15 days I've uploaded 30 pages of my own. And it's... When's your birthday, like eight days from now? So I'll have another 16 pages up, so that's 46 pages...

'''Chris:''' Well, you are, you are mistaken, we're not talking about, we're not talking about eight days, my birthday is on the 24th. Of February.

'''Alec:''' Oh. My mistake. So six days. Well, I'll have 12 new pages by then. In addition to the 30 I've already uploaded.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, I didn't know when your birthday was.

'''Chris:''' Well, it's specifically stated on the, on my bio page on the CWCipedia, and in a couple other places. The 24th of February. 1982.

'''Alec:''' Hey, Chris. Chris. When is my birthday?

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I do not study your bio, I did not study your bio page...

'''Alec:''' Well, Chris, Chris, it's on my bio page on the Asperpedia. Why wouldn't you know it?

'''Chris:''' Well, I did not make an effort to study you, because...

'''Alec:''' I mean, if I'm supposed to know your page, don't you know mine? Chris, I'm kinda hurt.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I apologize for that, and after we're done here I'll go to your bio page and learn, and learn with my mind when your birthday is.

'''Alec:''' Nah, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it. I'd rather you work on pages than go look up info about me. Because, you know, I actually don't know your birthday because I've been working on my pages rather than, you know, looking up your bio. Um, yeah, so, I do really have to recommend that you, um, begin uploading those 30 pages immediately. Like as soon as we're done with the call or whatever. It, just, get to work on it. Stay up all night if you have to. Get those pages up. Because, here's the thing about the way fans work. If you leave your fans in the dark for a week or two weeks or a month or however long, it really doesn't matter if you're partially completing something. Because if you don't put out any product, then your fans have nothing to work with. Have you ever heard of the game [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem Forever|Duke Nukem Forever]]?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, you said Duke Nukem Forever?

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Well, you know the Duke Nukem video games? You ever played any of those?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I have seen, I have seen samples of that game.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Well, the company that made those, they were working on a game called Duke Nukem Forever. That was going to be their next great title. And they were working on that for actually about 15 years. And they kept promising, "Oh, you know, we've got the engine built, we've got the characters designed, we've got all this built, all that's left is for us to release it." And they never released it because they kept retooling and tinkering with it. And finally the company actually went out of business. So now there won't ever be any other Duke Nukems. And if you keep doing the same thing, Sonichu is going to go out of business. Well, not permanently, because I have Sonichu Revolution, so it'll live on in some form.

'''Chris:''' Well, yes, well, your, yes, well, still, your Rev-, your Revolutions are not the original, are not the original Sonichu pages, of which only I can draw up and tell.

'''Alec:''' But what they are is existent. And the fans appreciate that. Your pages are nonexistent.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And if you stop Sonichu, then, you know, the fans are going to want something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I get, well, don't worry, you will see, you will see, all those pages, and the completion of the 10th book.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, does this mean...

'''Chris:''' In fact, it's a...

'''Alec:''' I'm a little, I'm a little confused, how, what, do you remember when I told you... Well, of course you remember, I brought it up plenty of times, about how you really need to either do some sort of major reboot of Sonichu, or else just come up with a completely different comic? Because of all of the elements that you stole from other franchises? Are you still thinking about that? Because if you're going to finish book 10, then...

'''Chris:''' I have been thinking about that, actually.

'''Alec:''' What do you think about it?

'''Chris:''' Some of those, some of those changes will be talked about in the clip show that's gonna be in book 11.

'''Alec:''' Um... So, is book 11 gonna be like a transition from the current Sonichu to another one?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, yes, a transitions.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Oo-kay. Um, well, that's not really what a reboot is about. See, what you're doing, like a transition, suggests that the Sonichu that exists now is going to be, like, part of the same universe or world as whatever new Sonichu. What a reboot is, is a hard stop. You reset completely. You start over from scratch. Everything that came before is just, means nothing, it's null and void. Like, for example, the Spider-Man movies, they aren't in the same world as the comic, they were sort of a reboot. Because they told everything over from the beginning.

'''Chris:''' Hm. I see.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I mean, I know it's... I can sympathize with you on this. I mean, you've been working on Sonichu for 10 years now, and the thought that you have to abandon it completely and start over with something new, I understand that that's kind of a scary thought. But it is true.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Have you, have you, uh... What do you think of Sonichu Revolution, by the way? Have you been reading it? I'm only like seven pages in right now, so...

'''Chris:''' I have taken a look at it, and I did not like the way you were killing characters left and right! That's no good, it's just terrible! Don't go killing, don't go killing, don't go killing characters, that just does not, that just, that just does not, that just does not work. It's like...

'''Alec:''' Chris...

'''Chris:''' It's like doing Zombie X-Men, [[Wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]].

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I remember that. That was actually a pretty popular comic, wasn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's actually on the [[PlayStation Network]] digital comic download, only on the [[PSP]] right now.

'''Alec:''' Well, I've seen it in stores, though. Well, it was pretty popular, was my point.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, that's, anyway, that's the point. That's still, like, you know, killing, you're just like killing everybody left and right. It's not...

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, how many, how many comic books and TV shows and movies and, you know, whatever other media have you seen where characters die? Do you think they're all bad?

'''Chris:''' Yes, well, well, yeah, they are bad, because that's just totally fake. And plus, to do it in such a gory way is just terrifying. It's like any, it's like any of the [[Saw]] movies. It's especially like, especially like the first trap in Saw VI.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies?

'''Chris:''' That was horrifying.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies, Chris? The Saw movies?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I liked them, I mean I enjoyed the falling, the telling...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] You liked them? But there's death in it! How could you like a movie that has death in it, Chris?! Death is bad. You said death is bad.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm not talking about...

'''Alec:''' Death is bad.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I mean, yeah, I'm not talking about the death part, I did not say I liked the death parts, I liked the building of the character of John Kramer. In the movies.

'''Alec:''' But the point is, you still liked the movies overall, right? I mean, you went to see them, you'd probably see them again?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were hor-, yeah, I mean, I will admit they are horrifying, and they do frighten me, but think about, but think about, think about...

'''Alec:''' Hence the genre, horror, if it's horrifying it's doing its job, I guess.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, but I mean, still, that's Hollywood magic, you know, that's, you know, the people, the actors in those movies are still, are still alive and well, they just...

'''Alec:''' Oh, well, right, I forgot, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|because comic characters are real people]] and apparently I'm guilty of, of multiple homicide now? Chris, you, remember when you killed [[Simonla]] because we strong-armed you into it, because you refused to do it willingly? Are you guilty of homicide now? Because you killed Simonla?

'''Chris:''' No, actually, that would, actually, you could blame the Voltorb that was placed by the toilet, placed by the toilet that exploded. Because the Voltorb exploded, it blew up the...

'''Alec:''' Chris, you drew the Voltorb. You drew the Voltorb! Chris, you knew Simonla was going to die! You knew there was going to be a Voltorb there and you did nothing to stop it! You are an accessory to murder! Who cares if someone else placed it? You knew, of course you knew she was going to die because I've been telling you for weeks to kill her.

'''Chris:''' You're, you're, well, read, yeah, well, read the pages after I put 'em, after I put 'em all up and you will see that there is, that there was, that it wasn't preventable. That there was a way that, it could not have been prevented. You will find out.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um... Did you see my page where [[Son-Chu]] killed himself? Did you see how depressed he was? I couldn't have prevented that. Sometimes people are so depressed that you just can't reach them. And it's tragic but, you know, sometimes people commit suicide because they believe there's just no way out for them.

'''Chris:''' I have a question for you.

'''Alec:''' Oh?

'''Chris:''' You said you like Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Why did you make him, why did you draw him killing himself?

'''Alec:''' Soni-

'''Chris:''' If you liked him you would not have done that!

'''Alec:''' I didn't draw Sonichu killing himself. I said Son-Chu, your car, your... I don't want to say "Autobot" 'cause that's trademarked, but...

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, excuse me, well, I misunderstood. Well, yeah, that was, that was wrong. I mean, that was like you're killing my vehicle, it's like you're making me have to pay, like...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting off Chris''] No, Chris, I didn't kill your, I didn't kill him. He committed suicide. He was depressed because he had a name that he hated, and all the other Autobots made fun of him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, the Autobot, the Autobots do not make fun of each other for their names.

'''Alec:''' No, they make fun of Son-Chu. Chris! Look at what he says in that page! He says that he hates his name because it's not a strong, manly Autobot name. Why would he lie?

'''Chris:''' Well, it's only because you're, you're putting...

'''Alec:''' He had nothing to lie about, he had nothing to lose. He was gonna kill himself.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I did not, I'm not the one that drew, that drew my car, my Autobot, to say that. I did not. You did that, pretending to be me, in a sense.

'''Alec:''' I wasn't pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' You were pretending to be...

'''Alec:''' Chris, look up at the page. Do you see on the comic page where it says "Copyright 2010 Alec Benson Leary"? I'm pretty sure that shows that I was not pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, you have no right, you have no right in killing a character that was originally mine, and that I have never said, have never said personally, had died. When a character dies, I will let every, I will let everybody know myself. Anybody else who, who makes up, who says outside of my jurisdiction, it's just a whole bunch of bogus baloney.

'''Alec:''' Well, maybe I can say it's a parody, and that'll make it okay, right? If Sonichu Revolution is a parody? Would that be okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It would?

'''Chris:''' I would accept that, yeah. And plus, don't make them so big. Maybe like three quarters of the current size, three quarters.

'''Alec:''' No. Nah. Then no one can read the text. I'm not gonna make it smaller, it's kinda hard to read the text already.

'''Chris:''' You should have those pages on your Asperpedia! People could just go over there and read them for themselves.

'''Alec:''' Um, but the whole point of Sonichu Revolution is to make up for your lack of updates. Why would I put it on my Asperpedia? That defeats the purpose. I, I'm...

'''Chris:''' But, but you're just...

'''Alec:''' I'm keeping the fans there for you, Chris!

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing...

'''Alec:''' You could thank me once.

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing those pages, not me.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, that's right, I'm drawing the pages. You're not drawing anything. Or you say you are, but we have no proof.

'''Chris:''' I am, I, you're wrong, I have been drawing the pages, and I have been coloring them.

'''Alec:''' But you're not uploading them.

'''Chris:''' Because I have, because I'm too busy working on the, working on coloring after I have drawn them all up! And plus, I have real life things, like I have to go hang, like I have to hang out with my family. I have errands to run...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting him off''] Chris! Take a guess, right, I want you to guess...

'''Chris:''' And plus...

'''Alec:''' Between, Chris, no, Chris! I want you to guess, between one and 10, how many hours did I spend in school yesterday? Take a guess, right now.

'''Chris:''' How many hours you spent in school yesterday...

'''Alec:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' The average of 10.

'''Alec:''' That's right. I spent 10 hours in school yesterday. I also uploaded a page of Sonichu Revolution yesterday.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, what about your job? You have your job as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. What about my job? I upload pages while I have a job and school. So what about my job?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you got all your, you're spending your time there as well.

'''Alec:''' Yes, that's correct.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I admit, I'm not sure really what the point I was trying to make there, I lost my train of thought.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, yeah. It's true that, yes, I spend a lot of time in school, and a lot of time at my job. And I, you know, and I have errands too. Not really for my family, I don't live with my family, but I do errands on my own.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright. Well, okay, well...

'''Alec:''' How much time... You've mentioned that several times, that you have to run errands for your family. Like, what do you have to do for them? What did you do yesterday? What... How... Like, are they having you break rocks with sledgehammers or something all day? Because you say it's like some huge, serious thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, they're old. I have to do chores for them. I have to do chores for them around the house. Like I had to even, I even shoveled snow to get the, to get the, to make a path for them and get the cars out. And my, and my car, it was stuck in, two front tires were stuck in their own dug grooves, and we finally, and finally got the car out of those two grooves today.

'''Alec:''' So you've, like, been working on that solid, non-stop, just digging your car out? [''pause''] I mean... I live in Minnesota, you know, we get some bad snowstorms sometimes, and my car will just get completely buried in snow. And it...it might take me, like...in the worst-case scenario of storms, it might take me half an hour to dig enough snow out for my car to move. We usually don't get that much snow, though.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Wha-are-you said some chores around your house, too, like besides shoveling. What else do you have to do?

'''Chris:''' I clean the kit-, I clean the big kitchen, I do the, I vacuum, I move stuff around, I...clean the bathroom as well, I do a lot of things around the house.

'''Alec:''' You kind of sound like you're talking to someone who has not seen that video [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of your house]] right now. And I want to let you know that I actually ''have'' seen it, so I'm pretty sure...that house is..... [''Alec is interrupted by a rapid series of DTMF tones. Decoded so far: 3125632589632145896321258624231561523635832147413663574147236464''] Chris, can you hear me? Hello? Chris, are you pressing buttons? [''tones end'']

[''Note: Even though these calls are in one file, according to [[Clyde Cash]], Chris actually hung up on Alec at the end of the dial tones. Alec promptly called him back.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, Alec?

'''Alec:''' Hey, hey Chris, did we get disconnected there?

'''Chris:''' [[Lies|Yeah, 'fraid we did.]] It happens to me, between me and my, uh, gal-pal as well, in our conversations sometimes. Reception goes bad during this time of night.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Well, uh, glad I got you back. Okay, well, we were talking about, uh, the chores you need to do, I think, in your house. So you're saying you clean your house up?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Uh, okay, um... Have you cleaned your, cleaned your room at all?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do clean my room.

'''Alec:''' Mmm, how much do you clean it?

'''Chris:''' I clean my room like once a week.

'''Alec:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' O-kay. So, how long does it take when you do that? Because if you do that once a week, that's just, like, maintenance, shouldn't take too long.

'''Chris:''' It takes like two hours.

'''Alec:''' Two hours. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Alec:''' Um... How long does it take you to clean the rest of the house?

'''Chris:''' It takes me, it pretty much takes me one to two hours per room.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Okay. Like, what do you do when you clean? What specific stuff do you do?

'''Chris:''' I move this, I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I take, I scrub the floors with 409 and paper towels. It's really hard work, back-breaking!

'''Alec:''' Back-breaking.

'''Chris:''' Yes. My back hurts.

'''Alec:''' I hope you don't mean... Your back hurts from cleaning?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, after extensive long time, I mean, sure.

'''Alec:''' I thought you, I thought you were strong, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[I AM STRONG|I am strong]].

'''Alec:''' Why would your back just... How strong are you? Like... Because it seems the videos...

'''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm very strong. Believe me, I'm very strong.

'''Alec:''' Really. Like... Uh...

'''Chris:''' Anybody, anybody, anybody will tell you that, like, yeah, they, they just feel like they break their backbones after, after a very extensive time scrubbing the floors, getting up and down, as well.

'''Alec:''' You should get a Swiffer. Swiffer Wet-Jet, because then you can stand while you're scrubbing the floor. I use it, it's really useful.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' It's quick, too.

'''Chris:''' Well, we don't have it, we don't have that here.

'''Alec:''' Huh. Maybe you could sell some of those video games like I was talking about. Then you could afford one. Have you thought at all about selling any more of your, your games, Chris? Because...

'''Chris:''' No, I have no plans, I have no plans of that at the moment.

'''Alec:''' Why would you want to hold on to video games that you don't play anymore?

'''Chris:''' I do play them, when I feel nostalgic...

'''Alec:''' ALL of them? Chris, you've got... How many [[List of Chris's games|hundreds of games]] do you have? And you play all of them regularly? Is that what you're telling me?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Regularly, like... Yeah. Every, like, uh, I'd say, yeah, on a regular basis I do.

'''Alec:''' Every single one.

'''Chris:''' Yeah!

'''Alec:''' That must take, that must take a lot of time.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Is video-game-playing back-breaking too? Just out of curiosity? I wouldn't think it would be.

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, but it's one way for me to relax after I, after I have done the work of cleaning the room. Or shoveling the snow in the yard.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but you only clean once a week, and shoveling, that doesn't happen all the time. I know Virginia got a snowstorm recently, right, but that was kinda like a one-time thing.

'''Chris:''' That's, well, okay, well, just to correct you, I was not talking about cleaning period once a week, we're talking about cleaning my room once a week. And, and then, we have other, then, it's like, on another day I'll clean up the kitchen, and on another day I'll clean up the living room, on another day I'll clean up the, I'll clean up my parents' bedroom...

'''Alec:''' Chris, I've seen the video tour of your house.

'''Chris:''' That's like, that was, that was like, that was like over, that was like over a year ago.

'''Alec:''' Over a year ago. You really... You should film a new tour, then, actually, because people still think that your house is, you know, a mess like that.

'''Chris:''' I'll think, well, I'll consider that.

'''Alec:''' You really should, you know. It would be a good idea. Chris, here's, okay, here's what I don't get about you. There are so many things, like, you know, if your house is clean, you could just make a video and show people that. And if you've really been working on the pages, you could just upload them. And if, you know, if you wanted to prove to people that you have [[Nintendo]]'s permission to use [[Pikachu]], shit like that, you could just show them the letter that Nintendo sent you, that gives you permission. Why do you, why do you take the hard way through everything? Why do you want to keep receiving, you know, demands and questions about this and that subject when one little action on your part could just stop all of it?

'''Chris:''' Because for me it's not all that easy.

'''Alec:''' What's not easy about it? Like, okay, the Nintendo...

'''Chris:''' Because, I'll, I'll just, also [[Bob|my father]]'s [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|still very angry at me]] for doing the video touring the house over a year ago. And he's making me all mad, he's very angry...

'''Alec:''' Why, why, why was he angry about it? Just refresh my memory.

'''Chris:''' It's like an invasion of privacy?

'''Alec:''' How is it an invasion? You live there, I mean, it's your house, if you choose to upload a video, that's not an invasion of privacy. If you [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|try to videotape people without their consent]], that would be an invasion of privacy. But I don't think your parents were in that video.

'''Chris:''' You don't, you don't, you don't understand, I, and I forget all of the details my father said, but he's still very angry at me for doing, for having done that.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, I guess if you say he's angry then okay, that's that, but... Um, what about, um... Well, like the Nintendo thing. Couldn't you... Did Nintendo, like, write you a letter saying, you know, yes, go ahead and use Pikachu? Couldn't you just scan that and show that to people? 'Cause everybody...

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter.

'''Alec:''' You mis-, you misplaced it?

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That seems like a really important thing, how could you misplace that? And if you clean your house so regularly, I mean, it seems like you would find things that you had lost regularly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It takes, yeah, moving, moving stuff, if I had, I had, I regularly look at stuff, and that, and it got misplaced that way.

'''Alec:''' I'm sure you could just actually call up Nintendo, because... I mean, that would be... You know, the legal department of a company keeps records of everything they do. They would be happy to just fax you or send you another copy of the letter.

'''Chris:''' I'll keep that in mind.

'''Alec:''' Businesses lose papers sometimes, and you know, that's why there's redundancy, that's why. And not only your fans, you know, but if you showed that letter publicly, then I couldn't demand that you admit Sonichu's a doomed franchise, now, could I? You wouldn't, you wouldn't even have to do the reboot? I mean, think about it. If either you, you know, reboot your entire comic that you've been working on for 10 years, that's one choice, or your other choice is, you just call up Nintendo and ask them to send another letter, and show it to everyone.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Alec:''' Destroy 10 years of personal hard labor, or show a letter.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well, I will think, I will, I will look, I will look into that later.

'''Alec:''' Um, okay. Um, this is reminding me of... In your recent, where you started updating the Mailbags again, um... Let me take a look at a Mailbag, because I don't remember the exact phrase, but... You responded with kind of a stock phrase to a lot of letters. Let's see here. Um, where is it. Ah! "Your letter has been read fully and your thoughts have been in-pyoo-ted..." I guess inputted. "And accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." Chris, you spend even less time responding to these e-mails than you do normally. What's up with that?

'''Chris:''' Okay, for your information I actually read, I actually read and re-read each letter before I make a final response.

'''Alec:''' But your final response is, is not thought out at all. See, this is kind of an interesting parallel to your comic work, because you say, you say that you...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, well, there are points where, there are points, there are points where I don't...

'''Alec:''' [''trying to interrupt''] Chris, Chris, Chris. CHRIS. CHRIS! Let me talk, and don't interrupt, alright? I will let you speak after I finish this sentence. This is how it goes. One person speaks, the other person responds, the first person is... Okay. Um, you say that you spend a lot of time "reading and re-reading" and really considering the letters, but when it comes time for the final step, which is, you know, the response, you don't really put any effort into that. And that's an interesting parallel to your comics, because you say you spend a lot of time drawing and coloring and, you know, preparing your pages, but that final step, uploading them, you don't put any effort into that. So it seems... It kind of sounds like you go 90 percent of the way, but you don't actually finish that crucial last 10 percent. And just to let you know, people are mad about this stock response that you made.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to the Mailbag, it's just that, you know, even after re-reading it, I still cannot, I still could not come up with an appropriate response. So I had to go with a neutral response.

'''Alec:''' Why... What do you mean, you can't come up with a... There's a lot of different subjects to these letters, and you give the same neutral response to every one. Are you telling me that all of these subjects, you really can think of absolutely nothing?

'''Chris:''' There are a few subjects on which I come up blank! Yes. I'll admit that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um... Like... Um, someone wrote you a letter about your comments about homosexuals being bigoted and offensive, and you gave the stock response to that. Um, that seems like a huge Achilles' heel with you, is if people mention the word "homosexual." Your mind goes blank.

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, of course, I could not think of an appropriate response to that letter.

'''Alec:''' "Your comments..." I'm reading the letter right now. "Your comments on homosexuals are bigoted and offensive. You want them to die in explosions. You want a vaccine for them, just because they tick you off..." Um, the last two parts, those are actually very clear questions, as far as I can see. Like, if someone asked me those questions... If someone asked me, "Do you want homosexuals to die in explosions?" I would tell them, "No." If someone asked me, "Do you want a vaccine for them just because they tick you off?" I would explain, "No, homosexuals don't actually tick me off, and I would never want to vaccinate them." I just came up with that right now. That would be my response if such a question was asked of me. And that's not even that long of a response. You don't need a page worth of response.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, plus, plus I perceived that, because I perceived those statements as insults, and...

'''Alec:''' Oh, so we're back to everything is an attack on you, this... Remember when you thought that my ads were an attack on you? So now someone... So, so you thought my ads were an attack on you, now this homosexual thing, um, you've made plenty of offensive comments about homosexuals, which they could, and plenty have interpreted as attacks by you. And so when someone asks you about them, how is that an attack on you?

'''Chris:''' They said when I, it was an e-mail, and that's in that where you just read about it, they called me bigoted.

'''Alec:''' That's because you are bigoted. You want...

'''Chris:''' I am not bigoted.

'''Alec:''' You hate homosexuals. How many, how many times...

'''Chris:''' I actually said that, actually I have, actually, thanks to [[Jack Thaddeus]] I recently, I have, I actually see them in a more positive light! It was, I think it was...

'''Alec:''' Is that the same Jack Thaddeus that is an evil villain, that does underhanded deals for ad space?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Well, you kinda flip-flop a lot. No, forget what I said. Um...

'''Chris:''' Uh, well, well, for your information, though, specifically, Jack Thaddeus has told me about, uh, homosetts-, about homosexuals from his point of view and how that they would never, they would never make any actions towards me because I'm not even try-, I'm not even that attractive to him.

'''Alec:''' You know, Chris...

'''Chris:''' Attract him. 'Cause he's a homosettsual.

'''Alec:''' Uhh-huh. You know, um, I've actually been hit on, I've been hit on by homosexuals, once in a while. It happens to me in my life.

'''Chris:''' Oo-kay.

'''Alec:''' It's, I never got ticked off by it, I never saw it as offensive. I mean, I'm, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't really be interested, but if, if someone, man or woman, thinks I'm attractive, then, you know, well, it's flattering. Even if I'm not interested. Why would you think it's an attack if a gay person finds you attractive? I take it as a compliment that people think I'm attractive.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, it's, yeah, well, still, I mean, if I was, well, okay, well, if a homosexual came up to me and flirted with me like that, I wouldn't, uh, no, no, I would let them know that, no...

'''Alec:''' That you're not interested?

'''Chris:''' And, yeah, I cannot accept your, I cannot accept that because I'm not interested, I am straight, nnn...

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, that's...

'''Chris:''' And then leave it at that.

'''Alec:''' That sounds, yeah, that sounds like a good...

'''Chris:''' And then, then, if the, and then if the guy continued to, continue on like that after the warning, then I would get really mad.

'''Alec:''' Well, that's understandable. And you know what? That happens, not just with gay people. I mean, straight people, plenty of straight people have trouble getting a hint. I mean, you know, guys, all the time, there are guys who, you know, hit on a girl, and she says, "No, thank you, I'm not interested", and they just keep pressing the point. [[Megan|Overstepping their boundaries]]. [[Kacey|Trying to hold their hands, things like that]]. That is... You know, in a situation like that, it's perfectly acceptable to get offended if they don't respect, er, if they don't respect your, um, your decline. Your negative response. You see? Um, but I... When, when did you talk to Jack about this, this homosexual thing? When did you have that conversation?

'''Chris:''' It was about, it was like over a, it was like over a week ago.

'''Alec:''' When did you answer Mailbag 52? Pretty sure it was less than a week ago, wasn't it? Because if your issues with homosexuals are resolved now, then why couldn't you offer a simple response to that? Okay, here's what you could have said. Um... Well, just to be clear, do you still want a vaccine for homosexuals?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Uh, I'm sorry, I did not understand, I do not understand that. Could you repeat that please?

'''Alec:''' [''slowly this time''] Do you want to create a vaccine to eliminate homosexuality?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm...

'''Alec:''' Do you understand that?

'''Chris:''' Honestly... Yeah, okay, yeah, I understood that. So yeah, you're asking me that right now. Or are you, or are you just, I mean, uh, okay.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I am asking you right now.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''pause''] In an attempt to make a better world, a better world, I would support it. I would support that.

'''Alec:''' Oooo-kay, so, when you said that you don't have problems with gays anymore, that wasn't actually true. Chris, well, like I said, I'm not gay, but I have a number of gay friends, um, a few family members that are gay, and it's part of who they are. That's part of their identity. Why would you want to take that away from them? What, what about removing homosexuality would make the world a better place?[''exasperated sigh''] It shouldn't be that hard, Chris, because you already, um, established a predicate that "no gays equals the world is a better place." So, having said that, that must mean that you do have an idea of how the two things are connected.

'''Chris:''' Uh... Well, what two things?

'''Alec:''' Chris, do you... Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Chris, you said, you said "no gays equals the world is a better place." That, "no gays" is point one. That connects to "world is better," point two. How do those connect? What is... Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Ah, okay, okay, okay, okay, well, yeah, okay, now I get it, I mean, it's just that, you know, uh, [[Lies|I'm getting an incoming call right now]], and, uh, taking it will interrupt this conversation...

'''Alec:''' Well, you should probably ignore it. Yeah. Um, so please...

'''Chris:''' It's like, hard to, though, it cancels, it cancels your, it cancels your vocal input out at that point when the...

'''Alec:''' Well, did you... Yeah. Did you hear my point, though? Please explain how no gays equals world's better.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] You know, okay, well, I'm not necessarily saying... I'm not saying that as in reference to them as people. I'm saying that in reference, and like...

'''Alec:''' Well, removing, removing homosexuality equals a world better. Explain that.

'''Chris:''' Because there will be less risk of those people going to hell.

'''Alec:''' Hell?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. When they die.

'''Alec:''' What do you... Oh, you mean instead of heaven?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you're saying gay people go to hell? Um, so are you, you're a Christian, then? If you believe that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' What, um, like... You know, it's been a while since I've read a Bible, where in the Bible is that whole gays-go-to-hell thing?

'''Chris:''' It's implied within parts of the Bible.

'''Alec:''' Well, it's, understandably it's implied in parts of the Bible, I'm asking where. I'm not a Christian, so I don't have to read the Bible, but you're a Christian, when's the last time you read the Bible?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I have read the Bible, but...

'''Alec:''' You're sitting here judging people based off their sexuality without even knowing, like, you know, what parts of the Bible... Hey, hey, um, [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|you know what else the Bible condemns? Black magic]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] So?

'''Alec:''' How many times have you tried to curse people? Cursing is black magic. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I get it. It get, I get what you're saying right now.

'''Alec:''' So you're going to hell, right?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, I'm making, I'm making atones for that.

'''Alec:''' Uhhhh...are you? Really?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Well, you... I asked you to give Mao a Forgiveness Blessing, that was the most lackluster one I've ever seen you do. Do you believe that black magic, uh, works, Chris?

'''Chris:''' There's a po-, there's a chance that it can, but...

'''Alec:''' Um, not if you're Christian. Because the Christian God says that all magic and supernatural stuff that doesn't come from God is false.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I, I have no comment to that.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, um... Let's go back to the gay thing, because, you know, we've established that you don't really know a whole lot about the religion you claim to believe in.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So I would, I would, um, when you're in the absence of important information like that, I would think, just go with what you know. Go with what you see. And by that I mean, you know, you've never been attacked by a homosexual, they've never done anything evil to you.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Actually, yes, I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.

'''Alec:''' What did he say to you?

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member, I don't remember what he said to me, but they were offensive.

'''Alec:''' Um, so... Okay, well, there are bad gay people, just like there are bad straight people. Um... So, one gay person did something bad to you that you don't really remember, therefore all gay people are going to hell? Is that the logic you're doing there?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, more or less.

'''Alec:''' How many... Okay, so, I should condemn all straight people because you've been horrible to me. You've said a lot of bad things to me, you've threatened me. Maybe, or, not just straight, maybe I should condemn autistic people, because you identify with autism a lot and you've been a very bad person in most of our dealings.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Are all autistic people, um, really selfish and demanding and...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Not all of them are.

'''Alec:''' But all homosexuals are bad? Because you had one bad experience? That's a double standard.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay, well, okay, well, they're all not. [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Well. You know, I'll wait to see if you really stick to that belief or not, I guess. I mean, I guess it's good that you're saying it now, but... Why do you sigh so much?

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm a little tired right now. I had to, I actually cleaned more, I cleaned the kitchen again today.

'''Alec:''' [[Biological clock|Don't you usually stay up to like 4:00 A.M. or something]], you said? This is kinda like the middle of the day for you, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' No, this is not the middle of the day for me, this is the middle of the night for me.

'''Alec:''' But... Okay, you said you sleep until like noon, right? And then you stay up 'til like three or four at night. That's kind of a, that's a really weird schedule, by the way.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but actually, late-, actually I am, I'm mostly going to bed before midnight and I get up at like 9:00 A.M.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Well. I actually go to bed, like, around 11, so I'm closer to my bedtime than you are to yours, but I feel fine. We all get tired, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Anyway...

'''Alec:''' Um, what do you think of... Let's see here...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' [''long pause''] Um, oh, here's another good question. When someone asked you about the Mailbag that you fabricated, and you gave them that stock response again. I just, I really want to see you actually... My, my main goal right now is I want to see you put real effort into your Mailbags.

'''Chris:''' I will... I put as much effort as I could, but it's, you know, sometimes I do come up blank, and that cannot be helped.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you're... I know you've said plenty of times, you're a pretty smart guy, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but sometimes I'm quick, sometimes I'm [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow]].

'''Alec:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' It just happens! I don't know why. It's my head. I'm not a psychiatrist. A psychologist.

'''Alec:''' You don't have to be a... You... You remember that [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|Mike Jackson memorial e-mail]] you got here? You used the copy-and-paste response on that too.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Yeah, well, I didn't know who that was, I didn't realize that that was the, uh, that was a guy that, that went out, and that moved out when their, the prostitute did. Lose him. And I apologize...

'''Alec:''' I thought that you, I thought that you said that you spent a lot of time reading and carefully re-reading these e-mails. How do you not know the basics of what it's about?

'''Chris:''' Well, I miss a detail or two sometimes, it happens to a lot!

'''Alec:''' You missed all the detail, Chris! You missed all the detail.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I thought they were talking about Michael Jackson, the pop star.

'''Alec:''' Maybe if you'd read the e-mail you would've, you know, seen that that wasn't the case? Did you even look at that memorial? Chris, do you...

'''Chris:''' I can say I have not looked... I did not...

'''Alec:''' ''Chris'', why do you not put effort into ''anything''?

'''Chris:''' [''sudden anger''] {{RageQuote|I DO PUT EFFORT in every-, in everything!}}

'''Alec:''' Everything?! No! I told you that your website was going to get taken down because of a lawsuit over a stolen character, and you did nothing. Y'know, I tell you you gotta upload pages and you do nothing. I tell you you gotta respond...

'''Chris:''' {{RageQuote|I am, I am working on the pages...!}}

'''Alec:''' But you don't upload them!

'''Chris:''' {{RageQuote|Yes I will, yes I do, and I will!}}

'''Alec:''' No, "will" is different from "do." "Will" is the future tense, and it hasn't happened yet.

'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] I'm getting tired, I'm getting tired of this. You're raising your voice at me, I'm not, and I'm not, I don't appreciate it.

'''Alec:''' Well, I... I think I kind of, I'm just trying to enunciate a point, I'm trying to get you to respond.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... A person raising their voice, that really is enough to just, you know, completely discombobulate you? Besides, you yelled at me first.

'''Chris:''' No, you raised your voice at me first.

'''Alec:''' No. No. I asked you, "Chris, why do you not care about anything? And you screamed, "I DO CARE!"

'''Chris:''' You're being, you're being, you're being ridiculing to me.

'''Alec:''' Uh, is that the pot calling the kettle black? Chris, I want to, I want to understand why it is okay for you to do so many things to other people that make you mad when they do them back to you. Please, I'm asking you a simple question. Please explain this to me. Why is it that any level, any tiny level of stress or inconvenience, and you immediately will fall back on, you know, you're being attacked, or you're being, you know, your world is...

'''Chris:''' It just happens, espec-, it just happens, especially when I'm tired.

'''Alec:''' No. That's not an excuse. That is not an excuse. That's an excuse that a child uses. Children complain that they have to do a little bit of hard, you know, work, or deal with unpleasant situations. Honestly? I have been very polite with you, Chris. I don't swear at you, except, you know, on a few occasions where you really piss me off, but for the most part I don't. I don't yell at you, I raise my voice in response to you raising your voice. I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to talk to you like an adult.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm just tired right now.

'''Alec:''' [''snorts'']

'''Chris:''' And you know, considering your bed at 11:00, uh, you probably want to finish this up, want to wrap this up as well. So I...

'''Alec:''' No, I'm doing good.

'''Chris:''' Let's just that, let's just agree that, uh, I will be uploading the pages, and uh, what you got, perhaps, perhaps after book 10 is completed, uh, we could, uh, actually, you know what...

'''Alec:''' Well, you know what? If you want to...

'''Chris:''' Don't worry about the ads, don't worry about that, uh, ad space at this point. I'll just agree to that, but, uh, but, yeah, but you know...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Please, Stop, Running, Away from me, Chris.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

'''Alec:''' [''snort''] I know you're not literally running away, but you're trying to end the conversation because I'm making you feel bad.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And it's not even because I'm attacking or insulting you, I'm just presenting, you know, a few things that are very minorly unpleasant.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Okay, well, with that, uh, sometimes, there are things that, yeah, we don't, we generally, we would not prefer, we would prefer the opposite of unpleasant.

'''Alec:''' You seem to prefer the opposite of unpleasant literally all the time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Any little bit of stress and you run for the hills. You avoid anything unpleasant, even, even in cases where dealing with a small problem now will avert a very big problem later. You always choose the hard way.

'''Alec:''' You choose to deal with the big problem that you could have avoided. Bad news is gonna happen, Chris, life is not all fun and games.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure, well, I'm sure that that's happened to you and you actually had to do that as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but then I turned 10 and I started learning to get over it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Man the fuck up, Chris. Pardon my language, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get, I get, and I said that.

'''Alec:''' You're gonna have to show that with your actions, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And I will.

'''Alec:''' Do you believe that we, um, could ever be friends, Chris?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Maybe.

'''Alec:''' Maybe?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, you gotta start listening to people that are trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' I am open to, I am open to opinions and thoughts when they are presented in a non-condescending, uh, appro-, acceptable tone, or, or whatever.

'''Alec:''' That's what you always say, but you never act on them. I'm showing you things you haven't done, and you still don't do them. Because I've done this with you several times.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I will, listen, I gotta go, I'm really, seriously, I'm feeling really sleepy right now.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, have a good night. Maybe I'll talk to you later.

'''Chris:''' Alright. Take care. Bye-bye.

[''Call ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Chris and Alec Call 9]]|}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBY2M3SW5ybWg0Q2s The original audio]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxfkNdoV3fM Youtube version: part 1]</s> Dead link as of the 25th of August 2015.

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

2021

2021-11-29T04:59:01Z

Tehpope: /* November */

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|mugshot]], 2021]]
'''2021''' was the thirteenth year since Chris's discovery, and the year when the shit finally hit the fan, once it came to light that Chris [[Incest|had been having a sexual relationship with his own mother]]. This revelation very quickly destabilized everything about Chris's life, separating him from his house and mother, along with all means of income, and likely resulting in serious prison time.

The year marks the 30th anniversary of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' franchise, and 14 years since the discovery of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] and the world of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]. [[Barbara]] turned 80 years old on 1 October.

6 September marked a decade since the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], and the same month also marked twenty years since Chris's firing from his [[Wendy's|last real job]]. (Granted, he's not likely to get a new job if he ever leaves custody of the state.)

[[Cryzel Rosechu]] also turned 18 this year,<ref name=backstory>[[October 2018 social media posts#Cryzel's backstory]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Leak7.jpg]]</ref> meaning that Chris is no longer technically a [[pedofork]] – although that's probably the least of Chris's worries given [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|his current situation]].

==January==
{{main|January 2021}}
{{SonichuPossession}}

Chris stayed quiet during the first month of the year, with his activity largely limited to tweeting about the [[Dimensional Merge]]. During the middle of January, he was manipulated by a troll, [[Larry Vaughn]], into sending bizarre DMs to several Twitter users. [[Joe Biden]], the 46th President of the United States, took office on 20 January, succeeding [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]].

==February==
[[File:CWCCoinPose.jpg|thumb|Chris in February 2021]]
{{main|February 2021}}
{{SonichuPossession}}

Early in the month, [[Watchmen]] leaks revealed that Chris had been planning to use a taser to stun his magic stones in an attempt to activate the [[Merge]]. Among those involved with the situation were the aforementioned Watchmen, some [[Praetor]] members, and even an early appearance from [[Isabella Loretta Janke]].<ref name="taser">[https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/1629324910734-png.2457250/ Taser Discord screenshots]</ref> Judging by [[Thinking with Portals|later conversations]] and the fact that no video has emerged of the act taking place, Chris was most likely talked out of the idea.

Chris turned [[Chris's birthday|39 years old]] on 24 February, and a day later, finally ended his nearly-year-long act of [[Spirit possession|being "possessed" by]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] after [[KwaiiSandbag calls|being convinced to do so]] by enabler KwaiiSandbag, posing as a psychic.

==March==
{{main|March 2021}}

Chris announced that he had [[A Medium's Guidance|consulted a medium]] for spiritual advice. Chris would also continue talking with [[KwaiiSandbag]] this month, before cutting all contact with him after the latter admitted to not being a real psychic. Chris also accidentally damaged the [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|Dodge Caravan]] [[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender|after backing into a big rig trailer]].

==April==
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|cHeight = 145
|oTop = 130
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|Description = Chris in April 2021.
}}

{{main|April 2021}}

In April, Chris started off the month by [[:File:ChrisGenoAprilFoolsReaction.jpeg|angrily messaging Geno Samuel]] for changing the thumbnails and titles of ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' to images of [[Donald Trump]] for an April Fools joke.

Later, he received his stimulus check from the government, [[Money|and immediately used it to buy a three-month subscription for]] [[magic stones]]. A few days later, both Chris and Barb received doses of the Pfizer [[COVID-19]] vaccination.

Aside from other [[April 2021 social media posts|occasional posts]], Chris remained mostly quiet this month.

==May==
[[File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris creepily ogling Barb in May 2021.]]
{{main|May 2021}}

Chris celebrated Mother's Day this month by releasing an odd (and, in hindsight, disturbing) photograph of himself and Barb together. Chris would record [[Twitter Voice Clip|an audio clip]] of himself vocalizing his voice on [[Twitter]], and would also record [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground|a video]] of himself covering "{{w|I'll Be Your Mirror}}" by {{w|The Velvet Underground}} as an effort to promote [[Warhol / Chris Chan|a book about comparing Andy Warhol and Chris]].

==June==
[[File:ChrisJune2021.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris in June 2021]]
{{main|June 2021}}

Chris started off the month by starting the tradition of posting Tarot cards on [[Twitter]] every day, before uploading [[Birthday Greetings to Devin]], and [[Sylvia’s being comfy and a little bobble-headed|a video of him playing with his cat Sylvia]] later in the month. Chris also [[Chris and money|begged for money]] for a new [[Son-Chu|car]], and made a series of tweets claiming that the [[TooManyGames#Kicked out|TooManyGames 2018 convention incident]] was a supposed setup by the organizer of the event and the [[trolls]].

[[Null]] announced on [[Kiwi Farms]] that Chris would be attending [[Everfree Northwest]], a [[My Little Pony]] [[convention]] held in Seattle, Washington, in [[August 2021]].

However, this would never come to pass, as this was the month in which Chris began to engage in [[incest]] with [[Barb|his mother]] - news of which would not break for over a month. From then until Chris's emergency protective order in late July, the two had sex every third night.<ref name="admission">[[Incest#Transcript|Incest Discussion]]</ref>

==July==
[[File:ChrisJuly2021.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris in July 2021]]
{{main|July 2021}}

The month began quite promisingly, with Chris actually fulfilling artwork commissions and video requests related to his trip to attend Everfree Northwest, though one of his pet dogs, [[Snoopy]], passed on the 15th. Meanwhile, Chris continued his protests over the impending release of the fifth generation of ''My Little Pony'', culminating in [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|a rage-filled video]] released on the 27th in which he demanded Hasbro change course and revealed he had seemingly punched holes in his walls out of [[rage]].

However, on the 29th, the month and Christory as a whole would see an unexpected and disturbing turn of events, as an audio clip of Chris admitting to having incestuous sexual intercourse with [[Barbara]] was leaked. After a welfare check was conducted on [[14 Branchland Court]], Chris was given an emergency protective order on July 30th to leave the premises of the house immediately, while Barbara was taken to a hospital.<ref name=“removed”>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559/ Chris-Chan incest leak / Chris has been removed from 14 Branchland Court]</ref> The following day on July 31st, Chris stole $750 from Barbara's bank account, resulting in [[Null]] cutting all ties with him.<ref name="refund">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559/page-405#post-9580110 Null announces the refund]</ref>.

Chris's attendance ticket to Everfree Northwest was also revoked by the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> and Null also began the process of refunding those who donated to the GoFundMe Fundraiser this month.<ref name="refund"/>

==August==
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot 2.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in August 2021]]
{{main|August 2021}}

The month began with Chris getting arrested outside a hotel, with various weens and [[Ethan Ralph]] in attendance livestreaming. He was jailed without bond and charged with incest. While Chris was in jail, his license plates were soon stolen by a [[ween]].

In his first court appearance, represented by Charlottesville attorney David Heilberg, Chris interrupted the judge multiple times and demanded to be allowed to pick up his things from [[14 Branchland Court]]. He was denied bond, and his next court date was set for September 16th, 2021.

The case was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcT9cENf4kg|briefly featured on Fox News], exposing him to millions of boomers. A week later, Everfree Northwest, the My Little Pony convention Chris had planned on attending, [[Banned|took place without him]].

Activity regarding Chris became sparse after the arrest, but disturbing and incriminating information on [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], a troll who participated in the leaked incest call, leaked and/or spread around heavily. Partly through the month, Chris's dormant YouTube account was broken into, with the [[Ween|hacker]] uploading an old shitpost of [[Anthony LoGatto]] yelling "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAY!]]". At the month's end, [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387/| a user from the Kiwi Farms reported that Barbara had returned to 14 Branchland Court] as Chris continued to await his hearing.

==September==
{{main|September 2021}}

With Chris remaining in jail, the ten-year anniversary of Bob's passing came and went. Later, [[Winfield Winfield|a ween filmed a video tour of the exterior of 14 Branchland Court,]] providing a picture of the state of Chris's house.

Chris's next court date was initially set for the 16th of this month, but it was given a continuance for November, due in part to the defense requiring time to do mental health examinations for Chris.<ref name="ContinuanceReason">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315/post-9990327 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance (page 4)]</ref>

Later, reports that Barb had returned to 14BC were conclusively confirmed when a fan went to the house and unsuccessfully tried to pry more details from her.<ref name="WeenLeak">[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref>

On the 24th of September, [[Chris's Letter to Null‎‎|Null announced]] that Chris had sent a letter from jail dated September 19th. It was addressed to an unknown person, with instructions to relay the contents to Null and forward the physical document to David Heilberg. The letter itself, while referring to the events of the past month in broad strokes, was strikingly evangelical in tone, steeped in abundant Christian imagery and language and Biblical references. Chris' statements within the letter were perceived by observers as confirmation of a sudden and explosive development of his [[messiah complex]], up to and including a belief that he is a reincarnation of Jesus of Nazareth.

==October==
{{main|October 2021}}
Barbara turned 80 years old,<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref> and Chris sent [[Jail_letters#October_2021|five more letters]] with topics ranging from his godhood to the quality of the jail's food.

Chris spent the rest of the month in jail waiting for his next court appearance.<ref name="ContinuanceDate"/>

==November==
[[File:11.8.21MailDrawing.jpeg|thumb|Drawing of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] from November 2021]]
{{main|November 2021}}

Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18th of this month.<ref name="ContinuanceDate">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315/page-7#post-9991077 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance (page 7)]</ref>. But it was again given a continuance, this time to February 3rd, 2022. <ref name="SecondContinuance">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-2021-court-case-continued-into-the-new-year.105669/page-16#post-10511289 11/18/2021 - Court case continued into the new year]</ref>

On the 24th, a [[2021 Jail Call|short call]] made to Chris in jail was leaked.

==References==
<references />

{{timeline}}

Tehpope: /* Bio */

<div style="clear:right; float:right;">
{{Observer}}{{Americunt}}{{White}}{{Straight|male}}{{Agnostic}}{{AssBurger}}{{Hikikomori}}{{Hex-Box}}
</div>

==Bio==
I post on KiwiFarms as [http://kiwifar.ms/members/tehpope.565/ tehpope]. Fan of pretty much every genre of music.

User:Tehpope

2014-12-30T01:20:40Z

Tehpope:

User:Tehpope

2014-12-30T01:15:48Z

Tehpope: Created page with "I post on KiwiFarms as [http://kiwifar.ms/members/tehpope.565/ tehpope]. {{Template:AssBurger}} {{Template:Observer}}"

I post on KiwiFarms as [http://kiwifar.ms/members/tehpope.565/ tehpope].

{{Template:AssBurger}}
{{Template:Observer}}

26 December 2014

2014-12-29T21:42:34Z

Tehpope:

'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Once again, Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]], and once again, it involves [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a video game store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris moments before the assault.]]

That Chris was in trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris pepper-spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, sporting full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the purpose of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalising their Sonic Boom merchandise]] (staff said he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple toy sunglasses]] as a [[Honor roll|"disguise"]]. Needless to say, he was recognised by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalise the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the Sonic Boom stuff before leaving, but he eventually left, as seen in the video, commanding the staff to [[Chris and negotiation|"Don't call anybody!"]] as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee, who was later confirmed to be unharmed, and the store did not close.

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris caused unspecified trouble at JCPenney and Sears, and had some sort of encounter with a [[JERKS|man]] in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris [[Honor roll|trying to get in the wrong car]] in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking the building, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also somehow managed to contact Barbara, who had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For the full story, we may need to wait for Chris's inevitable account at his video court hearing (presuming he's allowed to speak), or on Facebook when he's released, but as always, we'll have to remember that [[Sub-episodes|he'll inevitably twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] and get sympathy out of his [[white knight|white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point. It's unknown if he's getting along with his sink this time.

[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|left|A hit new [[Netflix]] show rocking the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of [[28 October 2011]]. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative (if he pleads not guilty in video court) is out of the question. Chris also probably has more charges against him this time, almost certainly more serious ones.

With estimates for Chris's jail sentence ranging from mere days to 5 years, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]], perhaps even [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Whether he'll be forced to seek psychiatric help is also in question, and obviously greatly [[Chris and psychology|hoped for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has been forced to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off - for example, Snyder decided to seek leniency for Chris after 28 October 2011, the CWCki Forums, of all people, put together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]], and for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's [[white knight|white knights]] are the gift that has just kept giving. This would all be well and good if Chris would be grateful for his narrow escapes, and learn to be more cautious next time, but instead, Chris [[Chris and his Ego|simply expects to be bailed out]]. If he has to do a span in jail to learn a lesson, so be it (as long as he's not inside for so long we get a drought of content, of course).

Whatever the outcome, it's doubtful it'll teach Chris anything about how to behave in public, it'll more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and [[Manajerks|retail workers]].

On December 29th, it was confirmed that Chris had posted bail and left jail.

== Chris's side of the story ==

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[troll|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see:

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their \M/ETAL cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Hoodie
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep is heard as Chris walks near the camera, then blows a raspberry.'']

'''Chris''': [[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee''' (To Chris): You're too tense. (Laughs)

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

2014-12-25T23:09:50Z

Tehpope:

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14 Branchland Court]] while the second part features Chris opening some presents with [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]. One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love Quest]] and not the holiday.

These videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the res tof the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a Spongebob Squarepants action figure)''
 Spongebob Squarepants! ''(someone or something makes a weird AAAHHH noise)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Gameboy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wonderous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' "??? hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

ChrisAfterChristmas2004

2014-12-25T23:04:30Z

Tehpope:

'''ChrisAfterChristmas2004''' is a video leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 17 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is actually the end minute of a [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|13-minute video]] Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In this video, Chris talked about the events of the day and his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]].

The video is actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD, proving its existence of the Director's Cut version, and [[Catherine]] obtained a copy of said version. Given that she is actually a troll, we have yet to see more leaking of the Director's Cut DVD.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChrisAfterChristmas2004
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mnCUi2H87mk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004]]
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
Well, that wasinstar our family [[Christmas]] of [[2004]]. I did get some nice gifts, but... it does not compare to having a [[boyfriend-free girl]] that I can [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|make into a girlfriend]]. ["[[Stress sigh|sigh]]"] So, at least from the family part, we did get to spend [[Bob Walks In|quality time]] together watching some [[Monty Python|British comedy]]... so on the family part that's... that's been good. Uh, but unfortunately I was hoping for her to come but she didn't, my fr- my, uh, lifelong friend, [[Sarah Hammer]]. ["sigh"] Y'know, if she had not been paired up with that [[jerk]] [[Wes Iseli]], [[Chris and reality|I could have her]], but seriously though, I wish she was here so I could [[Rape|talk to her]], and so she could help me in my [[Love Quest|quest]] to get a boyfriend-free, 18-22 year-old girl... 18 to 23 years on [[Chris's birthday|February 24th]], [[2005]]. Well, anyway, uh, that pretty much sums up, uh, my, uh, Christmas season for this year, so, uh, as they say in show biz: goodbye folks!

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2014-12-25T23:03:34Z

Tehpope:

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14_Branchland_Court]] while the second part features Chris opening some presents with [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]. One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love_Quest]] and not the holiday.

These videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the res tof the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a Spongebob Squarepants action figure)''
 Spongebob Squarepants! ''(someone or something makes a weird AAAHHH noise)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Gameboy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wonderous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004 Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' "??? hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2014-12-25T23:02:59Z

Tehpope:

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14_Branchland_Court]] while the second part features Chris opening some presents with [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]. One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love_Quest]] and not the holiday.

These videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the res tof the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a Spongebob Squarepants action figure)''
 Spongebob Squarepants! ''(someone or something makes a weird AAAHHH noise)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Gameboy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wonderous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' "??? hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2014-12-25T23:02:20Z

Tehpope:

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[December 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14_Branchland_Court]] while the second part features Chris opening some presents with [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]. One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love_Quest]] and not the holiday.

The videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the res tof the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a Spongebob Squarepants action figure)''
 Spongebob Squarepants! ''(someone or something makes a weird AAAHHH noise)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Gameboy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wonderous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' "??? hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004

2014-12-25T23:01:54Z

Tehpope: Created page with "'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the CWCki Forums on 21 December 2014 while the second on 24 Decmeber 2014. The video its..."

'''ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004''' is a video. The first part was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]] on 21 [[December 2014]] while the second on 24 [[Decmeber 2014]]. The video itself is a 13-minute video Chris filmed on [[Christmas]] in 2004. In the first part, Chris shows off his presents and [[14_Branchland_Court]] while the second part features Chris opening some presents with [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]. One of the most infamous parts of the video features Bob reading a card from Chris which is all about the [[Love_Quest]] and not the holiday.

The videos, like [[ChrisAfterChristmas]], are actually from the Director's Cut version of his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]] DVD.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O-MJoRzifVk}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas#Part_2|ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--Scene 1--
 Chris: 'Twas Christmas Day, and all through the house, the creatures that were stirring were my family, and me, and our two cats.
 ''(camera pans around the junk in Chris's room)''
 We enter Christmas Day in my bedroom of wonderous... fun. 'Cause we have plenty of stuff around the house. On this day of.... Hwey-zeus's birth, upon the, uh, arrival of my doorstep, we find... a Snoopy house.
 ''(camera zooms in on a toy Snoopy doghouse sitting on Chris' bed, which plays "Jingle Bells" when Chris activates it. The music plays throughout the res tof the scene)''
 There we go.
 ''(camera pans across the bed to a Spongebob Squarepants action figure)''
 Spongebob Squarepants! ''(someone or something makes a weird AAAHHH noise)'' And a tower of gifts.
 ''(camera pans to a copy of "Sonic Advance 2")''
 And a Gameboy Advance title.
 ''The camera turns around as if to leave.''

--Scene 2--
 ''We enter another room, with the camera focused on the Chandlers' Christmas tree. Something electronic is playing short snippets of assorted Christmas music throughout the scene.''
 Chris: And we wander upon our wonderous Christmas tree, with a star that was made so delicately. Delicately... and creatively.
 ''(the camera zooms in on the tree's star, which is a rainbow-colored paper cutout, with Sonichu and Chris drawn on it)''
 With Pokemon hanging about.
 ''(pan to a small wrapped present hanging in the tree)''
 And a Christmas present that was supposed to be for the girlfriend that Santa brought, but unfortunately... she didn't show. Well, upon this wonderal Christmas Day, we see our two cute cats.
 ''(Chris walks over past the fridge to where a cat is lying on the floor)''
 Hey, Desi. Desi! Eeeyeah. our cat's Desi.
 ''(Chris starts to leave)''
 And Lucy's around somewhere.

--Scene 3--
 ''Christmas music plays on the hi-fi in this scene. Chris walks into the cluttered kitchen where Bob is preparing his breakfast.''
 Chris: And now we wander in on my family! Say hello, Father!
 Bob: ''(continuing to unwrap his food)'' Uh, yeah.
 Chris: Makin' my Christmas movie!
 Bob: I say you're wasting your chip.
 Chris: But I'm going to put it onto VHS anyway.
 Bob: I see. All right.
 ''(Chris forges onward past Bob, through the proto-hoard, to focus the camera on a smaller electric Christmas tree.)''
 Chris: A smaller Christmas tree down here.
 ''(The camera pans left into a dark, Stygian abyss)''
 And our mother's asleep here in the dark area.
 ''(Chris turns back to his father)''
 Would you care to share a Merry Christmas with the world, Father?
 Bob: ''(still preparing his breakfast)'' Ho ho ho. I gotta share some breakfast.
 Chris: Yup! You're having a great start.
 Bob: ''(finished unwrapping his French toast and now rummaging around for some plastic utensils)'' Yup, found one.

--Scene 4--
 ''Chris is in the stairwell of 14BC, which is separated by a curtain from the rest of the house. He climbs the stairs while pointing the camera back down the way he came, then turns and focuses on his other cat.''
 Chris: As we venture our way back upstairs to our room for breakfast and mirth, we find our other sweet cat, little miss Lucy. Hello sweetheart! Would you care to meow for your worldwide audience?
 ''(Lucy studiously ignores Chris)''
 Come on, sweet kitty! Meow! Meeeow! What, are you camera-shy? 'Cause you look good on video.
 ''(Lucy continues ignoring Chris and grooms herself)''
 Haha! You're such a sweet kitty.

--Scene 5--
 ''Chris is back in the same room as scene 3. Barb has emerged from the unfathomable darkness and installed herself on the orange couch at the back of the room.''
 Chris: Now the family is up and about! Especially my mother!
 ''(Chris walks up to Barb's couch)''
 Hello, Mother! Would you care to say something to the entire world?
 Barb: Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup! ''(pans up to the window, where one of the cats is sitting)'' This is Lucy in the window! I got you earlier, Lucy, but now you're sitting majestically on your windowsale! ... Hey Dad, look what I got!
 ''(The camera turns to Bob, who is now sitting down in a chair)''
 Bob: What's that? ''(Chris waves the Snoopy toy from Scene 1 at him)'' Looks like Snoopy.
 Chris: ''(fumbling with the toy)'' Yeah. Here, let's-- here, watch this, Father. ''(Chris activates the toy and it plays "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")'' It pops its head out... plays music.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: Givin' you a little (gift?).
 Bob: Yeah.

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f7YkDa2QpC4}}
| stardate = [[December 2004|25 December 2004]]
| subject = {{Other|Christmas}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas#Part_1|ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1]]
| next = [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
 ''The scene is the upstairs kitchen in 14BC. Chris and Barb are sitting close together at a little table with its own miniature tree, while Bob sits in his own chair on the other side of the tree.''
 Chris: Yeah OK yeah, it's recording. So, here we are around the Christmas tree! We're going to open presents!
 Bob: ''(utterly deadpan)'' Hooray hooray.
 Chris: OK well first off I have a card for my family. Here, Father, you ope-- you read the card. (hands Bob the card)
 Bob: ''(accepting the card)'' I see.
 Barb: Why don't you open some of your gifts, Christian?
 Chris: I'll wait... I'll wait.
 Barb: You--
 Chris: It's OK, I'll wait.
 Barb: It'll take a long time.
 Chris: Nah, it won't take that long.
 ''(Bob has meanwhile finished opening the envelope and removing the card)''
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it?
 Chris: Yes, read it.
 Bob: Am I supposed to read it out loud?
 Chris: Yeah. Read- read- read it to Mom.
 Bob: ''(reading)'' "I want to thank you all for your support and love throughout my fantastic... love quest" *phooey!* "And if Santa doesn't bring me... one... (no Chris-- no comment??)" ''*pause, exasperated sigh*'' "... like I asked him, then I'm going to need some support finding a boyfriend-free girl" ''(Bob laughs while reading that phrase)'' "??? hope you all... like my... presents."
 Barb: OK.
 Bob: ''(continuing reading)'' "Today I'm thinking of Christmas and remembering you all. Merry Christmas, Christian C."
 Chris: Yup! All right, Father, first I'll give you presents, well first you've got to choose, uh, they both have the same content ''(Bob leans forward and tosses the card onto the table)'', since you choose whether you want it on DVD or VHS.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: They have everything the same thing except the VHS is recorded off of the DVD. So... which one you want, VHS or DVD?
 Bob: No, no, I'll take DVD, I don't like VHS much.
 Chris: Really?
 Bob: DV-- I mean VHS.
 Chris: So you want the VHS?
 Bob: Yeah.
 Chris: Here you go. ''(hands Bob a gift-wrapped VHS tape)''
 Bob: I'm not much for... that other... DVD.
 Barb: Why do you have it on both? (?)
 Chris: I gave him a choice, remember? You remember he originally wanted DVD? ... It's Fraggle Rock, Father, that's what's on there.
 Bob: I see. ''(Bob starts halfheartedly trying to unwrap the VHS)''
 Chris: Everything that's on the DVD is on that VHS.
 Bob: VHS works better in my system.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(putting the DVD copy aside)'' Here, I'll just add that to my collection later.
 Bob: I cain't get it open.
 Barb: That's alright. ... We're fine.
 Chris: ''(reaching down and picking up a present which he hands to Barb)'' Here Mom, I picked this out for you. ''*sigh*'' I'll just get this one that's, uh, in the bag here. ''(Chris rummages around under the tree and comes up with a plastic shopping bag)''
 Bob: You used up all the tape.
 Chris: Not *all* the tape, Father.
 Bob: 'Most all of it.
 ''(Chris pulls out a Lego set from the bag and sets it on the table right in front of Barb)''
 Chris: Snowboarding stuff!
 Barb: Let's put it on the floor.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(turning over the VHS in his hands)'' It's got all the Fraggles, huh?
 Barb: You can open another one.
 Chris: I'll wait.
 ''(Bob puts the wrapping material on the table with a stress sigh)''
 Bob: I like the Fraggles.
 Chris: Maybe I'll do this one.
 Bob: Fraggles are cute.
 Chris: Yes, they ARE cute. Anyway, your item is-- your thing is in the box, Mom. I fit it in the box with some cardstock paper. But it just (slides?) apart. ''(Chris puts some dilapidated miscellaneous packaging on the table and hands Barb a plush doll)'' *in a revolting baby-talk voice* Have you-- I got you Hamtaro.
 Barb: Oh... that's cute.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Barb: Thank you.
 Bob: Who is he?
 Chris: ''(still baby-talking)'' It's a Hamtaro. He's a widdle hamstuh.
 Bob: I see.
 Chris: ''(dialing the revoltingness up to 11 on his baby talk)'' He's a widdle itty bitty hamstuh!
 Bob: ''(opening another present)'' This would be no good no more anyway.
 Barb: (???)
 Chris: Oh, that's my present for Sarah. I, 'cause, you know, she-- she might come over.
 Bob: Don't know if she will or not.
 Chris: Well she did last year, remember?
 ''(Barb gathers up the used wrapping paper and clears it away - presumably depositing the sediments directly into one of the lower strata of the Hoard. There are a few seconds' silence.)''
 Bob: Fraggle Rock.
 Chris: ''(perhaps referring to Sarah's present?)'' Britney Spears!
 Bob: Good old Fraggle people.
 Chris: ''(rummaging around under the tree)'' This one.
 Bob: ''(putting the bootleg Fraggles VHS on the table)'' There we go.
 Chris: Here you go, Father, Fraggles on VHS.
 Bob: You can keep Fraggle Rock... in your DVD player.
 Chris: ''(opening a present)'' Oh, you found it, Mom. It's great. Thank you!
 Barb: You're welcome.
 Chris: Mmmm. ''(Chris throws an arm over Barb's shoulder in a hug, but accidentally drops something?)'' Here... whoops, I'm sorry.
 Barb: Don't hurt my head.
 Chris: I'm sorry. Well, here, I got this for both of y'all. Here Mom, you open this one since Father opened the card. ''(Chris rummages around while Barb begins opening the present)'' I bought it over at Wal-Mart and then I, uh, assembled it. And by the way, the box in there is about the same deal as, uh, Hamtaro there. After you unwrap the present, and (???) the paper there...
 Bob: I don't know where my Christmas CDs are. We got a couple.
 Chris: You want music? Here you go! ''(Chris turns on the electronic tree's music, which plays assorted carols throughout the rest of the scene)'' I think you-- I think you all will really like what I got here. Oh, yeah, I taped these two boxes together here...
 ''(Chris barges his hand right into whatever Barb is unwrapping, and Barb protests)''
 Chris: I'm sorry.
 Bob: I've lost track of where all my music is.
 ''(Barb finishes unwrapping the present)''
 Chris: Snow globe! With me in it!
 Barb: Merry Christmas, Robert.
 Chris: It's also got-- it's also got Sonichu in it, look. See? Me on side, Sonichu on the other.
 Barb: That's true.
 Chris: I got it over at Wal-Mart. The snow globe.
 Bob: How about that.
 Barb: And you had your... picture. That's neat.
 Bob: No, no.
 Chris: Yup.
 Bob: ''(chuckling)'' Hope it's waterproof in there.
 Chris: Yeah. ''(picks up and shakes the snow globe to demonstrate)'' And it's got-- the pho, photos are in a-- are behind a plastic. I mean-- ''(turns the snow globe upside-down and starts removing the bottom)''
 Barb: Don't open it, don't open it.
 Chris: You see, the bottom is removable. See?
 Bob: Well... we know that.
 Chris: See? Look at that, see? There's a slide here.
 Bob: Oh. So they're waterproof.
 Chris: Yeah, they're fine.
 Bob: That's a good idea.
 Chris: Yeah, I got that o-- I got that snow globe over at Wal-Mart. ... All right, well let's see what's in this one. ''(starts opening a present)'' I picked that one out special for y'all, that card. Let's see what's in here! Look! It's an Autobot!
 Bob: An Autobot?
 Chris: Yes.
 Bob: Didn't know they were that fancy.
 Chris: Well these guys are.
 Barb: The Transformer.
 Chris: Yeah.
 Bob: Boy, they sure got fancy over the years.
 Chris: Yup, they sure did. ''(Chris places the unwrapped Transformer on the table and rummages around under the tree again)'' And one last present! It's a big one. ''(unwraps)'' And then I got another Autobot and a Decepticon!
 Bob: Hooray.
 Barb: Very good. Yay, Merry Christmas. ''(claps)''
 Chris: Yay, Merry Christmas to you all, I mean I got you all a snow globe
 Bob: Careful with that cord.
 Chris: ''(switching back to baby talk)'' I got you all a snow globe. And a video, and a little hamstuh. You like the hamstuh, Mommy?
 Barb: Yeah. I think it's broken.
 Chris: Um, it-it c-- it came that way. It was the last one they had. That's no problem, 'cause you know it can still stand.
 Barb: Yeah.
 Chris: It's not like it's gonna leak.
 Barb: Yeah, okay. That's cool. Yeah, that's neat. Merry Christmas.
 Chris: Yup, Merry Christmas!
 Barb: Yeah, now we'll go back downstairs, (work to be done??)
 Bob: Have a snappy New Year.
 Chris: Yeah, snappy New Year, huh?

[[Category:Leaked videos]]