CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Chris and reality

2011-08-22T20:20:45Z

Tepples: /* Infinite multiverse */ new section

I know most of this page is dedicated to how Chris screws up reality in the comics, but I couldn't let his latest videos go unnoticed. There was something odd about that statement that went beyond just the standard delusions of grandeur or unwarranted self-importance we've all grown used to. For a few brief moments, chris wasn't talking about being king of a media empire, he was talking about being mayor. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:00, 24 November 2009 (CET)

I also think we should add how Chris believes his dog house weighs 10 tons or that a 12 pack of lemonade weighs 50 pounds. I think that's pretty out of touch with reality. [[User:CWCattack|CWCattack]] 18:22, 24 November 2009 (CET)

Chris talks about his own life as being "canon" and some aspects are "non-canon." I think I discussed this elsewhere but anyone think this should be mentioned here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:19, 28 December 2009 (CET)
*I think it deserves mentioning.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 08:23, 28 December 2009 (CET)

That should absolutely be added. I think sections should also be added on his lack of understanding of the sciences (e.g. the vaccine in Issue 10, the physics of lifting heavy objects etc). Man, at this rate, he's going to think he can retcon life itself... [[Sub-Episode 2|ohwait]]. --[[User:SnorlaXBOX|SnorlaXBOX]] 08:30, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris is the Mayor of Cwcville, VA, IN REAL LIFE==
[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]] is a goldmine. Choice bits follow, no idea how to utilize them. [[User:Fenny|Fenny]] 03:18, 1 January 2010 (CET)

=== THAT DOES NOT MATTER ===
I ASK that the Ads be LIMITED ONLY onto the Side-Bar and NO WHERE ELSE. I DO NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT Jack Thaddeus; HE IS NOT DOING HIS OWN HOMOSEXUAL MALE KIND ANY FAVORS by TICKING ME OFF LIKE HE HAS BEEN DOING.

I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am NOT only the Mayor of Cwcville, VA, IN REAL LIFE as its Main Creator, but as such, without me, you would be just bored and not have my comics and stories to enjoy, and therefore, I am Captain of the Cwcipedia. I have full appreciation for being the Webmaster, but I will have Full Respect as Captain.

--ChrisChanSonichu 23:25, 31 December 2009 (CET)
*I love how he stops mid capslock to write "Jack Thaddeus" in normal text.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:24, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== Size does not matter. ==

Reading from Left-To-Right in MOST Countries, as well as myself, I see the ads in the left first-off and Most Better anyway. Seeing the BIG Ad in the One Spot is as terrifying as the Flash Of Light at the Instant Millisecond of DEATH, or even, technologically, the Blue Screen Of Death. And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET.

== Sonichu Fact or Fiction ==

It's becoming increasingly interesting that Chris is referring to the trolls as "fiction." Does he think that Sonichu is real and that the stuff he does there affects people in real life? I can assume "yes" but I think someone needs to mailbag this. [[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 22:26, 25 January 2010 (UTC)

== Alec calls ==

I believe it was in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1]], Chris more or less believes (or at least this is the current prevailing theory) that there exists a "Toon World" ala [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?|Who Framed Roger Rabbit?]] where every created cartoon character exists in a plane of reality, which is why Chris was enraged by Alec's depiction of Sonichu canon characters because they have feelings and Chris emphasizes more with his fictional characters than actual people (which isn't totally crazy - [[autism|autistics]] have been known to empathize more with animals than people).

I'm glad this call was finally made public because it says A LOT about Chris's grip of reality, in that he more or less believes that cartoons are real in that they exist in some other plane of existence and that's why he's threatened by people drawing a pickle of Rosechu, because there exists a Rosechu who is genuinely alive and existing who is in pain about pickles being drawn onto her.
*I wonder if he's ever actually searched for the doorway to Toonworld? In ''[[Sonichu]]'' ep. 4.5, I think it is, he depicts himself as a real person who enters CWCVille through a portal in his closet and becomes a cartoon. Maybe he thinks that once he reaches the other side he can find the coveted [[china|tail]] he's never been able to get here. I rather think that even ink-and-paint girls, if they were real, would have more taste than that. --[[User:The Iconoclast|The Iconoclast]] 02:28, 2 June 2011 (PDT)

This needs to be incorporated into the article. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:30, 10 February 2010 (UTC)

*I wrote a little paragraph about this. I wasn't sure where to put it so feel free to move it. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 22:28, 10 February 2010 (UTC)

I agree, but I'd like to point out it was in the second call, not the first. --[[User:Scarf|Scarf]] 21:53, 10 February 2010 (UTC)

This brings the Sonee porn into new light. New trolling tactic discovered. Draw CWCville burning to the ground repeatedly while the residents engage in depraved acts.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:12, 10 February 2010 (UTC)

A paragraph? This deserves far more. That Chris uses naive when Alec espouses disapproval means this idea is important to Chris. He doesn't want to kill Simonla because there is an actual Simonla out there in an acutal relationship with an actual Wild who would feel actual grief because of something of Chris' own doing. He doesn't like Sonichu getting abused in fanart because there's an actual Sonichu who sees this. This isn't something to tape on to the article, this IS the article. All the offhand things like "they can take of that themselves." make perfect sense. Chris isn't saying that his works don't need justification due to quality or something, he's saying that 'onichu and Rosechu are intelligent, living, breathing things, with opinions and feelings and that they exist because they were scribed. He's saying that his comic depicts an actual city full of people with souls and dreams. He's saying that by having God appear to intertwine Ivy and himself, God actually descended to intertwine them. This isn't a mere aspect of his delusion, this ''IS'' his delusion. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 23:20, 13 February 2010 (UTC)
*I agree. This article needs a massive rewrite and to be centered around these new facts. That Chris really does believe his fictional characters are real blows this whole thing wide open. Everything else is now minor information. THIS is what we should be focusing on. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:15, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

*I'd kinda suspected he thought his characters were sentient, but I never thought he'd actually admit to it point blank like that. [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 11:20, 18 February 2010 (UTC)
*I'm not sure if we should go ahead with this right away - If it's definitely true, fair enough - It's CWCki gold. But we can't really be sure at the moment how much is Chris bullshitting to win an argument and/or get someone off his back. I think we should see if we can find a way to confirm this for sure, perhaps with some Mailbag letters. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 14:16, 18 February 2010 (UTC)

*This is probably just some minor bullshit everyone already knows anyways, but I think it deserves a mention, at least on this discussion page. Despite framing his worldview after Roger Rabbit, he displays a surprising lack of knowledge of the reality of that movie's universe. In Roger Rabbit, the cartoons are simply actors, not living out the comics. I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting disconnect.[[User:ProtoAuthor|ProtoAuthor]] 17:20, 20 February 2011 (PST)

== Facts ==

From the newly released Autisim awareness E-mails:

"For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two."

There are a variety of ways this can be interpreted, but from a glance it looks like Chris is under the impression that he can just decide something is a fact and it will be so.

That's actually kinda horrifying.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:57, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
:Simple solution. What he means is that it's his opinion that it is a fact that autism is not Aspergers, and nothing will change that opinion. He doesn't state it as an "opinion" because he knows that opinions mean shit. He's not aware that this phrasing make him look crazy.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:22, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== Unrealistic Expectations ==
I was thinking of adding a section inspired by the Jerry Seinfeld portion of [[Some Favored Comedians|the latest video]] concerning Chris's entirely unrealistic expectations (the attraction sign leading to a long term romance and Sonichu The Game eventually being released on the PS3 being the most notable instances). Don't have time to do it now but I thought I'd mention it here in case anyone has any thoughts or wants to get it started.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 05:57, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

== "Chris and Science" ==

I'm thinking if there is enough material to make such a section--- I had also thought of making a "Chris and Education" page, touching both the book-smarts Chris should have learned, and the life-lessons that life, his parents, and his experience with trolls should have taught him, but it alreay exists as a listing of his schools--- The basic thing I'm going for was his denial of the Autism/Aspergers link, noting the irony that if it weren't for the scientists he denounces, Autism itself wouldn't have been discovered and he'd be executed in that hypothetical Theocratic world for having demons. Beyond that, I am unsure if there's enough material for a full section. Like I could kinda argue his preception of Causality, and I don't think it should be too redundant with the Shaman section. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 01:42, 24 September 2010 (PDT)

==2004 Office Confrontation==

"During a 2004 confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him. At one point, Chris began to pretend that he was Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice. Whether or not he converses with the other characters is unknown at the moment."

I noticed there's no source on this. Where did it come from? The MLW article Chris wrote doesn't mention it. [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 17:36, 22 November 2010 (PST)
*It came from the Jackie chats and e-mails. Chris first brought it up in one of the chats, and Jackie asked for more info in the e-mails.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:12, 22 November 2010 (PST)

== Infinite multiverse ==

There is a hypothesis that every fictional universe actually exists, along with our universe, in some multiverse. TV Tropes calls this the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DaydreamBeliever Daydream Believer pattern]. How can we work this into the article? --[[User:Tepples|Tepples]] 13:20, 22 August 2011 (PDT)

Chris and religion

2011-07-10T23:05:13Z

Tepples: /* Concept of God (or: GodJesus) */ In fact, Wikipedia has an article about sects that believe in GodJesus

<center>{{#ev:youtube|KlsCT1AUmZw}}</center>

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1 Cor 13:11<ref>[http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm]</ref>, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris not understanding how Professional help works<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion; like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[sex]], [[Anger|hatred]], [[Race|intolerance]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was; under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[File:Cwcandf.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's supposed relationship with God]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|[[Asperchu/Background|Radar]] sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[ego]]tism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle paul rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of St. Paul to Chris's "interpretation" of the Bible]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, <ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|Words cannot describe...]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is a conception of the Catholics founded through doctrine Pope Gregory I established through a revised list of monk Evagrius Ponticus' list of the eight terrible temptations. Catholics, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Seeing as this is Catholic doctrine, Protestants do not typically share this belief. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household [[chores]] is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Anger/Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Failure Of All Seven Heavenly Virtues===
[[File:1380120-jesus facepalm super.png|thumb|left|Jesus coming to terms that Chris may be beyond salvation]]

In Christianity, where there is sin, there is redemption. In Christianity there are four Cardinal virtues, which were initially derived from Plato's Scheme from Protagoras and were adapted by Saint Ambrose, Augustine of Hippo, and Thomas Aquinas. In the early Church there were also three theological virtues. In Catholicism these virtues were combined to make '''The Seven Heavenly Virtues'''. These are acts of redemption and righteousness that combat the seven deadly sins. Chris fails at all of them.

*'''Chastity''' '''-''The virtue against Lust''-''': Chris, however, lives accordingly with this virtue, to an extent. As a [[Virgin with rage]] Chris may always live in chastity in the sexual way. But chastity is more than just sex, its cleanliness through cultivated good [[Chris and health|health and hygiene]], and maintained by refraining from [[alcohol|intoxicants]]. Chastity is embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. Part of chastity is to be honest with oneself, one's family, one's friends, and to all of humanity. Chastity is the ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by hostility, temptation or corruption. Chris however lives in filth all day, everyday, eats [[McDonalds|unhealthy food]], and started drinking not too long ago. Chris [[lies|lies All The Fucking Time]]. Chris hasn't tried to better himself since he graduated from college, despite the efforts of [[trolls]], [[white knights]], and [[jerkop|authority]] [[Manajerk|figures]]. Chris loses his anger frequently, masturbates constantly, and spends taxpayer money like it's going out of style.
*'''Temperance''' '''-''The virtue against Gluttony''-''': Temperance to put it simply is restraint, moderation, and taking action at the appropriate time. Chris has no restraint when it comes to his social security. He buys whatever he can afford the instance he sees and wants it whether he needs it or not, almost always the latter. Chris has spent money he doesn't have via his credit cards or his parent’s credit cards.
*'''Charity''' '''-''The virtue against greed''-''': Charity is generosity, charity, and, self-sacrifice. The closest Chris has come to generosity is paying for ebay and other shit for [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], and not out of being generous, but to either buy her forgiveness, or in attempts to have sex with her. Whether he gives to charity is unknown, but usually you have to have sympathy for others or want to help others, Chris always wants to ''receive'' sympathy and help. Chris hardly sacrifices anything. Chris only sacrifices if he has something to gain, not for the sake of others or to be pious. He sacrificed a few games out of his hundreds for money, and [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3 in hopes of being paid over $9,000.]] Even when sacrificing a little would better him he is extremely [[Chris_and_negotiation|stubborn]].
*'''Diligence''' '''-''The virtue against Sloth''-''': Diligence is strong work ethic, determination, holding true to your beliefs, and courage. Chris has no work ethic, At All. He only works when he's "inspired", and then at most its only for an hour. Chris is determined in the sense he hasn't given up on Sonichu after all the harassing, but determination also means finishing what you started. Saying ''''"I'M WORKING ON IT!"''' and doing nothing, or quitting for months at a time isn't determination. Chris started [[Sonichu_11|Sonichu issue #11]] in [[August 2009]], skipped finishing it, and started [[Sonichu_12|Sonichu issue #12]] in [[February 2010]]. Chris does hold true in his beliefs, but will flip flop between hating [[homos]] every once in a while. When it comes to courage, well, Chris is a pussy. He always hides behind his parents when it comes to the law, [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], and [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|uncomfortable phone conversations.]] The one time Chris almost got into a physical fight as an adult was with a large black man named [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_Attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ]], in which he quickly re-worded what he said, sank back down in his seat, and stopped making eye contact. Yet, Chris [[death_threats|threatens people constantly]]. When Chris was threatened over the Internet, he hid under stuffed animals on his couch for a day. <ref>[[Death_threats#Chris_as_recipient]]</ref>
*'''Patience''' '''-''The virtue against Wrath''-''': Patience is forbearance and endurance through moderation, resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence, and giving the grace of forgiveness and mercy. Chris is none of this. He doesn't wait for sales, he buys what he wants, when he wants, whether he has money or not. Chris will try to resolve conflicts peacefully, at first, but quickly starts threatening if his demands aren't met. When it comes to forgiveness, the closest he ever came was three forgiveness blessings, some of which he took back. He's said he forgives [[Mary Lee Walsh]], but still holds a grudge in his [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|Autism Tutorial]]. He forgives [[Michael Snyder]], then says he [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|hopes he dies a fire with the The GAMe PLACe.]] Chris extremely unmerciful. He took; [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Evan]], [[Mao#Asperpedia|Mao]], and [[Alec Benson Leary]], tortured and killed them in [[Sonichu_10|Sonichu issue #10]].
*'''Kindness''' '''-''The virtue against Envy''-''': Kindness is charity, compassion and friendship for its own sake. Empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. Unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. Once again Chris doesn't meet nearly any of this. Chris has compassion for no one. When his [[Aunt Corrina]] died, Chris seemed more upset that he missed out on stuffing his fat fucking face at a pancake breakfast for her funeral. Chris has no male friends at all, for he thinks all men are [[jerks]]. All his [[gal-pals]] are potential women Chris wants to have sex with; this is not friendship for its own sake. Chris doesn't trust men because of prejudice and resentment. Chris is nothing but selfish, and is only kind to get [[china]] or something he wants.
*'''Humility''' '''-''The virtue against Pride''-''': Humility is modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is a spirit of self-examination; a hermeneutic of suspicion toward yourself and charity toward people you disagree with. The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved. Reverence for those who have wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.
This may be a long definition, but this is needed for emphasis. Chris fails harder at humility than any other virtue. He is not humble in any way, shape, or form. Chris is not modest at all, be it his body, his achievements, or his personal information. He is pretentious, narcissistic, and his [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is out of control. Chris is selfish; he spends taxpayer money and his parents money on himself, and when someone wants something from him he finds some idiotic way out of it. He wants everything for nothing. Chris only respects himself, his father (sometimes), and world leaders. He has no respect for authority because it inconveniences him, and men because he has to compete against them for china, and they may [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|cause him to fall off the straight path.]] Chris only thinks of himself, and highly at that. Chris is dishonest when he self-examines himself. He refuses to believe he's anything more than chubby, when by basic BMI standards he's obese. Chris won't do anything that he finds difficult, even if it is easy for functioning members of society. [[Chris and Art|He thinks his art is extraordinary and can't be improved.]] He believes he's not [[naïve]], though he's extremely inexperienced. Chris shuts his mind and insults anyone who disagrees with him. Chris disregards the advice of experienced professionals alot. Chris criticizes people better than him, and art that is substantially better than his, claiming he and his work is better. Chris breaks promises and commitments constantly, by either half-assing it, feigning ignorance, lying about fulfilling his obligation, or lying about the agreeing to do so to begin with. And finally Chris falls into [[stress]] and despair when he doesn't win, and avoids confrontation at all costs.

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

The Ten Commandments are the foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). Chris isn't a strict follower of these either.

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. Also many of Jesus' teachings abolish many of the leviticus and deuteronomy laws, such as food by in which Jesus said '''"''It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man.''"''' There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue 7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris's comments on religions other than his own are scattered and inconsistent. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, he probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith.
===Other Christian sects===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].
===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Atheism===
[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List_of_OkCupid_Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Talk:Chris and religion

2011-06-20T00:41:06Z

Tepples: /* Trinity vs. GodJesus */ new section

==Do something about Romans==
It's a nice quote but it's too big. I tried incorporating it into the article but it didn't look very good, something should be done with it to make the quotes section a bit smaller. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 18:11, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

==To do==
*Chris's warped version of Christianity (homosexuality = bad, lesbianism = good, sex before marriage = okay).
*his twisted double standard of morality (anyone else lies = "vicious lies and slander", Chris outright lies = "half-truths"; also how Adam Stackhouse cheating = bad, Chris cheating = okay).
*God's influence on his dreams
*how Chris is guilty of all seven deadly sins

==God is a Troll==

If we assume God exists and it was God who talked to Chris could it be argued that God is trolling chris as well?

==Split==
I'll entertain the motion of splitting off GodJesus into its own page, since Chris has invoked God specifically in much of his work, which can be considered a separate thing to how Chris views religion, in addition to GodJesus being in the comic and a popular meme amongst trolls. We can document all the times Chris has invoked GodJesus in various media.

Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:07, 2 September 2009 (CEST)

I guess go on. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 11:11, 3 September 2009 (CEST)

That could actually be really funny, thinking about it. Go for it! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:36, 30 October 2009 (CET)

Sounds like a good plan. --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 23:55, 3 December 2009 (CET)

I don't know why no-one ever followed through on this idea. I'd just like to say I support this if the topic is still open. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:41, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

==The Seven Deadly Sins==
The seven deadly sins aren't really 7 specific sins so much as seven categories that cover all sins. In other words, every wrongdoing is motivated, in one way or another By Greed, Sloth, Lust, Pride, Wrath, Gluttony, or Envy. So whether it's lying to save face (pride) raging against guys with girlfriends (Wrath, Lust, Envy) or basically anything else Chris does at all, it all goes back to one of the deadly sins.

That said, I doubt there's any need to actually include that in the article. Making this whole paragraph moot, I guess. whatever.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:38, 15 October 2009 (CEST)

:Apparently someone doesn't like the Seven Deadly sins portion of this page much at all. Does the article really need it? I mean, all it does it repeat the point that Chris wallows in wrongdoing. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:20, 19 November 2009 (CET)

::Eh, I vote we leave it in. They're a fundamental part of certain sects of Christianity, and it's an interesting analysis. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:01, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

===10 Commandments===
Now that's better. I'm half-tempted to delete the 7 deadly sins part completely now that we have this. To whoever wrote it, you're awesome. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:28, 11 December 2009 (CET)

Thanks. :^D [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 06:04, 11 December 2009 (CET)

In the "Honor thy father and thy mother": part of the 10 Commandments it says that Chris called his father a bastard once and links to "Bob Walks In Aftermath". Having read it though it sounds to me like he could have been calling the troll a bastard and not his father. Any thoughts? [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:32, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

===Levitical Laws===
Also, Saint Paul making a new Covenant; tehcnically, he doesn't have that authority, plus the mythology has Jesus saying in Mattew 5:17-19 http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/mt/5.html#17 that all Old Testament laws still apply.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:06, 21 November 2010 (PST)

==Possession?==

christfag here i believe chris might be possessed or demonically oppressed having cast demons out of people before he acts very similar to them [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 17:31, 20 November 2009 (CET)

of course if this is true and if some one at his church has half a brain and recognizes this expect the saga to be over very quickly
(this is just a theory after all) [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 17:36, 20 November 2009 (CET)

:I'm also a Christian, but I really don't think there's much evidence here for demonic possession. Chris strikes me as just a terrible person on the whole, not a terrible person the devil is controlling.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:56, 20 November 2009 (CET)

::The devil is wasting his time if he's controlling Chris. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 18:54, 20 November 2009 (CET)

but if he is truly born again then he can't be possessed only oppressed [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 15:32, 21 November 2009 (CET)

the only reason i started thinking about this was when in one of the many chats he mentions how he hears things like "chris is gay" [[User:Ultrajinx|ultrajinx]] 04:16, 22 November 2009 (CET)

:I think that's more a case of self-denial or possible schizophrenia. No need to insert something silly like "demonic possession". Of course, maybe I'm a little biased against the idea, being atheist, but the symptoms are also right in line with the possibilities I mentioned, and my suggestions are things we actually know to exist, rather than a (fairly archaic) religious mere. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:05, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

==Other Religions?==

Should we document Chris's opinions on religions other than his own? Unfortunately, there's not much to go by, save a few Mumble chats and recent mailbag responses, but he seems tolerant of other people's beliefs (although this could be attributed to his willing ignorance of everything outside Virginia). --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 00:00, 4 December 2009 (CET)

Thanks, Dkaien. --[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 21:35, 4 December 2009 (CET)
:*That's definitely going to be hard since Chris is unfamiliar with any non-Christian religion. Hell, he doesn't really know the difference between Catholics and Protestants. {{unsigned|AntonImausMk2}}

Chris said in [[Mailbag 21#In which Chris receives a letter from the son of God|the mailbag]] that he agrees with all of Fred Nile's views, and Fred Nile is apparently quite anti-Muslim. Make of that what you will. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 07:51, 21 December 2009 (CET)

== Source? ==

Has Chris ever actually been asked why he believes that there is pain and suffering if there is a loving God? The page suggests he has, but I can't find any source for it. --[[User:Mekka|Mekka]] 03:22, 15 December 2009 (CET)

== Reincarnation ==

[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from the doctor|Right here]].

Chris's religion is now basically just a mishmash of every faith he's ever heard of, with a good helping of shit he just plain made up.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 07:20, 21 December 2009 (CET)

== Afterlife ==

So I wrote a little bit about Chris's stance on the hereafter, and how it really doesn't have anything in common with Christianity. I just kinda tacked it onto the end of GodJesus, because I couldn't really think of anywhere else it would fit properly.

Pretty much the entire idea of Christianity is that Jesus saves, and that it's impossible to save ourselves no matter how many good deeds we do. It's weird, considering he bases so much of his identity on it, but Chris really isn't a Christian at all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 08:26, 3 January 2010 (CET)

I think it's possible that he actually doesn't give a damn about Christianity; and that he follows it for his own personal gain. If he ignores most of what Christians believe, and how he's selfish as fuck when it comes to referencing GODJEBUS (Like that time he mentioned how God would send the trolls to hell if they didn't listen to him, for example) then I would assume that Chris really doesn't care much

Here's a thought: What if Christianity turned out to be right, and after he dies, Chris went to hell? Can you imagine his reaction? Oh the hilarity. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:41, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

I promise you he would say God is trolling him and then bore Satan with his comics. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 01:09, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

== Issue 10 page 48 ==

So, we have a hedgehog kneeling in prayer before some sort of altar, a stone rolling away from a tomb by itself, and hyper Sonichu, in a church window, assuming the pose Christ had when he died on the cross. Chris just made Jesus Christ an orange Homophobic hedgehog. I'll try and add this to the main article when I'm done raging, because honestly, this is blasphemy on levels I didn't think Chris was capable of.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
*I just saw this and... like they say: you think you've seen Chris hit the lowest, then he ends up outdoing himself.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:11, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
** The worst part is that that page is stained with something-or-other. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 02:08, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
** I added a bit about Sonichu's apparent new Messianic role, feel free to add/edit/delete if you think it sucks, as up to this point my edits have been mostly minor typo corrections [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 12:02, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
***You done good Magic8Ball. You done good.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:08, 23 January 2010 (UTC)

== Satanism Comparison? ==

Or would Chris the Shaman cover most of the satanic-like things he's done, especially that fucked up attempt to brainwash us into hating Asperchu instead of Sonichu? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 00:51, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Please remember that we are talking about Chris here. He's pulling tons of stuff out without a hint of afterthought. At worst, he will ask pardon to GosJesus and everything will be well since he's forgiven. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:19, 18 January 2010 (UTC)
:::I think Chris the shaman covers it well enough. Also, the whole Backmasking thing was really more of a failed attempt at a subliminal message than a cry to Satan.
:::Of course, we should still call it a satanic message because that's funnier.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:15, 23 January 2010 (UTC)
::::Editing the Jackie e-mails right now, groups 16-17, Jackie makes multiple good points on how Chris is, in fact, exactly how a Satanist would act.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 02:02, 21 November 2010 (PST)

==Works or Faith==

To be accurate, the Bible is pretty contradictory on faith saving you alone or the works saving you, and many Christians believe the concept of faith alone to be Satanic. So maybe the Christians Chris is around believe that. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 22:35, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

==The phrase "GodJesus"==

Is [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|this]] the only time Chris has used it? Was it a one-off like [[niggo]] or [[pedofork]]?{{unsigned|Liquid!}}
*1) please sign your comments (it's four ~ in a row), 2) lots of things Chris says are one off, but they stick to trolls because they find them amusing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:32, 8 February 2010 (UTC)

== [[The Simpsons]] ==
An odd little coincidence here; I was watching a Simpsons haloween special recently. They're called Treehouse of Horror episodes. They do these non canonical horror stories. Theres one in particular that sees homer killing celebrities for money from advertisement firms. It makes more sense in context. Well it ends with the celebrities coming down from heaven and trying to kill Homer, and before they kill himm he asks what the one true faith is, to which Krusty the Klown replies 'Its a combination of [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|Voodoo]] and Methodist.' Worth mentioning or not? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:45, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
:* I think it's pure coincidence. I have yet heard Chris call himself a Methodism or any relation with Voodoo. If he mention it in the future, the comment would be added. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:19, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
::*His current church is Methodist. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:44, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
:::* Good, we are half-way there. At the second he mention Voodoo, the info will fit in the article. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:50, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*[[Chris_and_religion#Chris_the_Shaman|"Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled; and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals."]] --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 20:06, 9 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::* Nice link but as long as Chris don't use the term "VooDoo" or make a direct allusion to the said scene, there's no ground to add it on the article. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:12, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

== Trinity vs. GodJesus ==

Trinitarianism refers to three personas in one being. The Father (Jehovah) is not the same as the Son (Jesus), but both are personas of God. Nor is the holy spirit the same as the Father or Son, but it too is a persona of God. In the past, when explaining the Trinity concept, I've drawn an analogy to one person with three user accounts on a computer. Chris's "GodJesus" could be thought of as not unlike the Trinity, except that the holy spirit isn't regarded as a persona. Am I right? --[[User:Tepples|Tepples]] 17:41, 19 June 2011 (PDT)

Chris and copyright

2011-06-05T20:31:35Z

Tepples: /* Chris's motivations */ "Doesn't understand"? Then anybody who has ever used a CC-BY license doesn't understand either. Reworded without such implication.

[[Image:SonichuCertificate.jpg|thumb|Chris's copyright registration certificate]]
{{Quote|...anyone using my characters and all Without My Consent are Criminals, and such people should be reported to the [[Jerkops|Police]] immediately.|[[Chris]]|[[CWCipedia]]'s Copyright page}}

Like with many things, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a very faint idea of '''copyright''', and the effects of the copyright law.

== Sonichu as a copyrightable work ==
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Crooks!]]
Chris is vaguely aware of what [[Wikipedia:Copyright|copyright]] is: some sort of a legal right that creators of things have that lets these creators to tell others what they can and can't do – a very [[naïve]] view, though not entirely incorrect.

He has really only had one real first-hand experience on the copyright questions that formed the basis of everything that followed: the creation of [[Sonichu]]. According to [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Chris's]] [[Sonichu (character)|"autobiography"]], Chris was making a CD cover, and his teacher successfully explained to him that [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] are characters created by others, and he has no right to use them and he has to create something original instead. In the [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]], he also says the teacher told him he had been in the clear with the beginning as far as copyright is concerned.

However, the fact that teacher accepted Sonichu cemented Chris's vague understanding of the [[law]], and now he's unwilling to learn the truth. In his mind, mashing together two different characters and "[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|<nowiki>[putting]</nowiki> a little C-In-A-Circle and <nowiki>[his]</nowiki> John Hancock]]" creates completely new intellectual property that is his and his alone.

In reality, any work that uses previously copyrighted work as a basis is a derivative work. This means that while it may have substantial original elements that the creator definitely holds a copyright on, it cannot be published or distributed without permission of the original copyright holders. The reality isn't ''entirely'' clear-cut, however, and there are several exceptions to this rule, both well-understood ([[wikipedia:Fair use|Fair Use doctrine]], which allows limited use of copyrighted material for journalistic and scholarly purposes) and less well understood (there's an ongoing debate about the emerging copyright issues like digital rights and the remixing arts).

Unfortunately for Chris, Sonichu is a fairly clear-cut case of a derivative work. While the character design itself has ''some'' originality despite its blatantly derivative style (and as such might have passed the teacher's inspection), as far as backstory is concerned, Sonichu explicitly said to be a fusion of two existing characters - by Chris as its creator and in the comic story itself.

In other words, if Chris had elected to merely ape Sonic art style and plot elements from video games, he might have something that is borderline acceptable. There are way too many explicit references to the games, however. Fundamentally, Chris wanted [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]; if they are just some made-up characters and ''not'' Pokémon, they just aren't ''true'' enough for him. Unfortunately, Chris doesn't understand that such "made-up" characters are how people ''define'' creativity.

{{clear}}

== Chris as an enforcer of rights ==
[[Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|thumb|right|[[The Creepy Stare|Don't look right into their eyes.]]]]
Chris is very paranoid regarding his copyright, and will frequently [[CWC Public Disclaimer|hand out all of his personal information to complete strangers]] if he thinks it is being contested. This has backfired in a number of ways.

Chris has encouraged people to report copyright infringements to the [[jerkops|police]]. The police, unfortunately, can't do much when random citizens report civil offenses such as copyright infringement. Even if Chris ''had'' the rights to the works in question, suing people for copyright infringement would be Chris's job and his job alone, or that of a representative whom he has specifically appointed to that specific task.

Unsurprisingly, Chris is a [[Chris and hypocrisy|total hypocrite]] when it comes to abusing the work of other creators. In the space of 11½ issues, Chris pulled characters and concepts from innumerable franchises and even goes so far as to steal "original" characters from fans and [[sweethearts]] with little respect shown to their creators. He's even had the balls to take [[Asperchu|another creator's characters]], [[Mitch Sonichu|alter them]] and demand that thenceforth they be portrayed the way ''he'' has made them in the original material. Despite how firmly Chris holds on to his views of copyright, when directly challenged on why it's okay for him to rip things off but not for other people to do the same to Sonichu, he's unable to think of a response.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]</ref>

Furthermore, Chris refuses to listen to the original creators of these "original" characters when they ask to have their characters removed. The best example would be the fight between [[Evan]] and Chris over the character [[Simonla Rosechu]], a ripoff of Evan's original character Simonchu. When Evan demanded that Chris remove Simonla from the comics in an on-page death, Chris refused because ''it would take [[Wild Sonichu]]'s girlfriend away''. As time went on, Chris fought tooth and nail to keep Simonla in, going so far as to write out a scenario where Simonchu is told to tell Evan that Simonla likes [[CWCville]]. In the end, it took two shut downs of the CWCipedia for Chris to finally surrender and kill off Simonla.

===Licensing and terms of use===

The [[Wikipedia:MediaWiki|MediaWiki]] software used on [[CWCipedia]] had various built-in settings for content licensing. During installation, MediaWiki defaults to [[Wikipedia:GNU Free Documentation License|GNU Free Documentation License]], which states that the content can be reused elsewhere for any purpose, as long as proper copyright holder attribution and license references are given.

On 6 [[September 2009]], a fan wrote to Chris and thanked him for allowing this reuse, which provoked an uncharacteristically swift response from Chris, demanding WikiSysop not-so-politely to remove the obviously erroneous "GDU FDL" license.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The License on the bottom of my Cwcipedia (WS)|Chris's message to WikiSysop]]</ref>

This prompted Chris to write his own [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights Copyrights] and [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Terms_of_use Terms of use] pages.

The legal problems caused by Chris's terms are detailed elsewhere in this article. The Terms of Use are even weirder:

* ''"Any and All Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive works will be Immediately Deleted and NOT be uploaded, or seen ever again; NO RESUBMISSIONS ALLOWED of such pieces."''
* ''ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well."''
* Fan sites should be pre-approved by Chris.
* Sending spam to Sega and Nintendo about making official Sonichu games is apparently part of Terms of Use.

===Copyright registration===
It appears that Chris has actually paid US$45, and somehow got [http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?v1=1&ti=1,1&Search%5FArg=Sonichu&Search%5FCode=TALL&CNT=10&PID=ZvDUHHsi-vkzrRWQU2p5oLpU7yxe&SEQ=20091106120549&SID=1 Sonichu approved by the United States Copyright Office]. On 12 [[November 2009]], he also posted a scan of the confirmation letter he received to [[CWCipedia]] and posted a highly predictable [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|my-Heart-Level-just-went-to-100%-again video]].

Psychologically, this copyright registration represents a big win for Chris, because it gives him what he thinks are bragging rights, even though he has no idea what the copyright registration ''actually'' means. Copyright registration isn't an official recognition of copyright, however. Copyrights are granted automatically, and copyright registrations are only an official assertion that a specific work has been created at a specific date by the registrant; the registrations are only needed when suing another party for copyright infringement. It is also not a registration of a ''trademark''; Chris has no special rights for the name "Sonichu" itself.

If Nintendo or Sega sue Chris, they can easily demonstrate that they've held the rights to original characters like Sonic and Pikachu and Chris's work is derivative.

'''IN SHORT:''' Chris's copyright registration doesn't mean his comics are non-infringing.

=== Use of copyright notices ===
The way Chris maintains his so-called copyrights within his works is also baffling. It's possible he goes by the assumption that almost everything he draws must contain copious copyright notices, usually in a large disclaimer:

{{quote|© Christian Weston Chandler, March [[2000]]-????}}

It's worth noting that Chris obsessively includes copyright symbols in pictures he draws of Sonichu, including a picture he drew in the snow in his [[Holiday Greetings]] video and a doodle he drew on his ticket to the [[2005]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention.

However, only daily newspaper comic strips have constant notices reminding about copyright due to their daily nature. In most forms of media throughout the world, one copyright notice at the beginning of the work is enough to assert rights, and only the year is noted in a copyright notice.

Finally, the year of the creation of the ''specific'' work in question should be noted in the copyright notice; for example [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] should be "''© 2009-2010 CWC''". If Chris would want to specifically emphasize that Sonichu in general has existed since March 2000, he'd need to do so in an additional copyright notice (e.g. "''Sonichu'' #10 © 2009-2010 CWC. Sonichu character © CWC, March 2000.")

===Chris's motivations===
In any case, Chris doesn't really care so much what his copyright registration means and what it might or might not be good for, practically speaking. To him, it's mainly just a crutch for his ego. In the aftermath of his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], he sees it as the final and clinching proof that he himself is the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu. On 26 [[November 2009]], he posted the following as part of an announcement on [[CWCipedia]], which is quite illuminating:

{{quotebox|Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if [[Wikipedia:Godzilla|Godzilla]] or Clover [the [[Wikipedia:Cloverfield|Cloverfield]] monster] came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.

As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of my "[[Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V.]]" DVD, AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Cwcville]] and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal [[Fans]] and [[Troll]]s, something to quell your pallets [''sic''] until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, [[GameStop]], [[Best Buy]], [[Wal-Mart]], etcetera and such.

[[Chris and ego|I have spoken]], and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:17, 26 [[November 2009]] (CET) }}

In other words, Chris doesn't really care if other people use his supposed intellectual property, so long as he's the one that gets the credit, not some impostor in brown stripes.
The idea expressed here is not unlike that in the [[wikipedia:Creative Commons|Creative Commons]] Attribution license.

==Chris's views==
{{main|Parody}}
Chris is ''very'' protective of his characters. Chris believes that his characters are officially "parodies", thus, he is allowed to create his multimedia empire on a legal loophole. What Chris fails to realize that is that parodies are essentially mockeries of something they're based on, done for laughs or as a commentary on the original work. According to the [[Wikipedia:Supreme Court of the United States|US Supreme Court]], parody "is the use of some elements of a prior author's composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on that author's works." So if Chris was, say, making commentary on commercialization by making a pastiche of what was popular at the time, it would be fine. The fact that it is parody and not plagiarism must also be made obvious.

Sonichu and Rosechu are ''not'' parodies, just shitty recolors. Chris doesn't mean to make fun of the characters they're based on, nor make commentary of them. He slavishly imitates the kind of adventures they have in an attempt to tell his own stories. Even his most original characters are either based on [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|someone he knows]] or [[Flame the Sunbird|are cribbed extensively from existing characters]].

==Sauces==
<references/>
== See also ==
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]
*[[Parody]]
*''[[Asperchu]]''

{{Chris and}}

Asperchu/Background

2011-06-05T20:08:56Z

Tepples: /* External links */ there was a "cite error" here

:''This article is about "Asperchu", a very well-thought-out webcomic. For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|yHXBFT6G5c0}}</center>

{{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|rejection]], tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic [[Wikipedia:Bizarro World|bizzaro]] [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}

{{quote|I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 24]]</ref>}}

[[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself]]

'''''The Amazing Asperchu''''' (also called ''Asperchu: The Amazing Tales'' and ''The Spectacular Asperchu'') is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' detailing the zany misadventures of [[Asperchu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here].

''Asperchu'' pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike ''Sonichu'', where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same "character"]] as [[Chris and art|his paper-and-pencil-drawn pages]].

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Protagonists==

===Asperchu===
[[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu]]

Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the ''Asperhameha'', which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing [[mental block]]s of their own.

Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late [[2003]] and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on [[YouTube]] videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox 360]] or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Normandale Community College]] with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.

He is currently on a [[Love Quest]] to obtain a [[gal-pal]] whom he can build into a [[sweetheart from the ground up]]. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.

For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created [[Sonichu]] in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it "Asperia". While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself "[[Rocky]]", telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, "Rocky" is one of the mysterious [[Man in the Pickle Suit|MIPS]].

It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was [[GodJesus]]'s next prophet.

*Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the [[ego]], narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and [[naïve]] Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, he would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it.

===Sonichu===
[[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|150px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu]]

The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...

[[Sonichu]] shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the [[Troll]] Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a [[Homos|late night snuggling rendezvous]]. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of [[Virginia]], on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of [[Asperger's Syndrome]] as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''

Sonichu was created in [[1999]] by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike [[Bionic]]. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over [[CWCVille]], Sonichu was forced to be married off to [[Rosechu]], only for him and the rest of the [[Chaotic Combo]] to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, lopping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the [[4-Cent_Garbage]] Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.

While in self-imposed exile in Molvanîa, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's [[heterochromia]] styling, [[Obesity|his cholesterol level skyrocketing]] and wanting to play the [[PS3]] for 5 to 9 hours.

In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-like character fighting an evil madman named [[Robotnik|CWC-Botnik]].

At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... '''Chris-Chan Sonichu'''.

===Max===
[[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick]]

Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include [[Wikipedia:Guido|Guido]], [[Wikipedia:Waffen SS|Waffen SS]], [[Niggos|2Pac]] and Yellow Devil.

At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minister.
*Max is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby (character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.

===Jivin Pickles===
[[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|150px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here]]

The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's [[Niggos|black]] best friend who is black. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his [[Love Quest]], although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward [[sweethearts]], while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of [[Christmas]], Jivin celebrates [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|Kwanzaa]]. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.

Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode, as well as two cameos in Isabel Monday's comic ''[[Fan:Capering Berries|Capering Berries]]''.
===Groovan===
Close friend of Max, Asperchu and Jivin. ''Asperchu'' issue Ten claims that they have always been friends.

==Villains==
===Ian Brandon Anderson===
[[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|150px|left|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING]]

[[Ian]] believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a [[fat]], insane manchild. Ian rules [[CWCville]] through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of "[[Dating Education|sexual education]]".

This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Mayorshack Tito]]'s takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.

If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.

In [[1999]], Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by [[Giovanni]], Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his [[gal-pals]] [[Ivy]] and [[Megan]] before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandoned Bionic and, ten weeks later, gave birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, left his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandoned Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.

When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as ''[[Simonchu]]'' and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'', it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.

Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]

However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.

*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
[[File:Bionicc.jpg|thumb|149px|Why don't you love me, father?]]
Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in other stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.

Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.

Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.

He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge for Asperchu's trial.

*Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' series premiere, "[[Wikipedia:Encounter at Farpoint|Encounter at Farpoint]]" and again in the finale, "[[Wikipedia:All Good Things...|All Good Things...]]".
*Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''
*Also, Bionic's base is based off a [[dream]] Chris mentioned about people being killed in a "[[Mailbag_39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED]]" factory.

===Metal Asperchu===
Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.

From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He kills Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, briefly causing him to go haywire and explode, destroying him and finally releasing the Chaos Pickles.

* Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.

===Other villains===

;Sinestro
As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.
*Sinestro's name comes from a [[Wikipedia:Sinestro|comic-book villain]], while his appearance is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Il Palazzo]] of ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character [[ScotPalazzo]]).

;Lisa
A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu
*Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll [[Hanna]].

;John and Kendra
John (YouTube handle: '''GJ-Radar''', "GJ" presumably standing for [[GodJesus]]) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; he and his fiancée '''Kendra''' traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.
* Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].

;Dino Dash/Clyde Cash
Dino Dash (called Clyde Cash in later issues) is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.
*Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].

;Count Plot Cohesuon
Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''. According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.
*Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.

;Silvana Rosechu
The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure. She also has a noticeable bulge.

;Yellow Devil
A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.
*Based on the [[List_of_Mega_Man_characters#Bio-Devil|Yellow Devil]] from the ''Megaman'' game series.

==Supporting characters==

===Asperchu's family===

;Grandpa Alzheichu
Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do [[stress]]ful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.
*Alzheichu is based on [[Bob Chandler]].

;Grandma Snorlax

Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.
*"[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]" is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].

;Asperia Chu

The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.

In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as "the pinnacle of his existence", attributing to his own narcissism.

Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.

*Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's." Also, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Alien (creature in Alien franchise)|"Alien" appearance]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.

===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===
*'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.

*'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.

*'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.

*'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself.

*'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.

Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.

===Christian Weston Chandler===
[[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|150px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion)]]

Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert "The Lumberjack" Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.

In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.

It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.

*Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].

===Argentum===

The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp space time and seems to be capable of feeding of the pain of others.

*Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]]. His name is Latin for "silver".

===Other characters===
;Heaven Fatterton

Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.

;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]

Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is "Razzle-dazzle". When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him.

Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Fan: Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.

*Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.

;Simonchu

Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.

;Dixie Chu

The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial

* Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].

;Jonas Chu

Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.

He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.

* May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. His waistcoast and name derive from the [[Wikipedia:Jonas brothers|Jonas brothers]].

;Denubius King

His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the "Staff of Suffrage". He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.

;Bullet-Time Montgomery.

First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with "Deus ex BLACKina". He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.

;[[Rosechu]]
Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.

*Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the [[Mailbag]].

;Whispy Sonichu

Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.

;Larry D. Waltz

Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.
*Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].

;Sitting Chu

Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.
*Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].

;Jimarcus Chu

A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.
*Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]] and his physical appearance is based off of [http://www.grandtheftwiki.com/Little_Jacob Little Jacob]. His name is derived from [[Wikipedia:Jamaica|Jamaica]] and [[Wikipedia:Marcus Garvey|Marcus Garvey]].

;[[Doctor Robotnik]]

It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.

;Megan and Ivy

Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.

* Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].

;Principal Blaziken
The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.
* Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.

;[[Sammy]]
A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Random-access humor|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.
*While he is obviously modeled after [[Sammy]] from ''Sonichu'' (who was in turn a ripoff of [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]), he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted "word salads" and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as "All aboard the Gravy Train!"

;Bubastis Chu
Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film ''Watchmen'', and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.

;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]
Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].
*Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.

;Mayorshack Tito
The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].
*Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll [[Surfshack Tito]], who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.

;Noir Chu and Aspercream
[[File:Noir.jpg|thumb|Noir is fed up with this shit.]]
Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.
* Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].

;Princess [[Julie]]

One of the members of the [[Molvanîa]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.

* Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''.

;[[Crackder]]

One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.

*Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.

;[[Yawning Squirtle]]

We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.

;[[Mimms]] and Lucas

Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.

*Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the ''Mother'' series]].

;[[Rocky]]

A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu "dum-dum" and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.
*While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of [[Rocky Shoemaker]], Chris's pastoral counselor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the ''Asperchu'' Rocky).

;[[Jimmy Hill]]

Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.

*Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.

;Lewis Croagunk

The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.

*Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from ''Sonichu 10''.
*[[Wikipedia:Croagunk|Croagunk]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].

;Prison inmates

A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of ''Mighty Max'', Krang from the 1980s ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' cartoons, Tohru, Finn, and Ratso from ''Jackie Chan Adventures'', and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath).

;Warden Clawdorf

Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real [[niggos|black]] [[duck|dick]].

*[[Clawdorf]] is [[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s archnemesis in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. ''Asperchu'' Clawdorf parodies this.

;Gumby

One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.
*[[Wikipedia:Gumby|Gumby]] was a [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|C-L-A-Y]] character created by Art Clokey.
;Asperchoso

Asperchu's avatar in his "Second Greatest Story Ever Told". The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.

*Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from [[Vivian Gee]]'s "[[The Girl Who Took Down The World]]" story. His actions are similar to Chris's in [[Sonichu Special 4]], when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.

;Poliwrath

A hardened criminal who tried to [[rape|make Asperchu his bitch]] upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's "religion".
*[[Wikipedia:Poliwrath|Poliwrath]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].

===4-Cent_Garbage Center residents===

;[[Naitsirhc]]

Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.

*Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.

;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]

Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.

*Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|Final Fantasy VIII]]'' villain Ultimecia.

;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts ''Sonichu'', he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.

;[[Clyde Cash]]
Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.

*Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].

;[[Jack Thaddeus]]
Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].

;[[Count Graduon]]
One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.

;Chief Boyd
One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.
*Based on the [[Jerkhief]] from ''Sonichu''; "COProtectors" is an inversion of "[[jerkop]]".

;[[Bagget]]
Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.

;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]
A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].

;[[Joshua Martinez]]
A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.

;[[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wesli Chu]]
A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own Anchuent power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.

;[[Giovanni]]
The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.

;[[CADD Chef]]

Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.

;[[Michael Snyder]]
A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a ''Pokémon Ruby'' cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.

;MIPS

Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors]]. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
*MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a [[100 2178|conspiracy by the Greene County school board]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his "autistic shell". MIPS is speculated to stand for "[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]".

;[[ScotPalazzo]]

Killed in the destruction of 4cent.

;[[Megagi]] Chu
A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.

;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]
A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.

;[[Jiggliami]]
A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.

===Chaos Pickles===

The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Image
!Color
! Trait
! Location
!Avatar
|-
|[[File:Pickle-violet.jpg|50px]]
|Purple
|Kindness
|Owned by the Pickles family; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|Lovely Weather
|-
|[[File:Pickle-blue.jpg|50px]]
|Blue
|Temperance
|Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu
|Saramah Chu
|-
|[[File:Pickle-green.jpg|50px]]
|Green
|Patience
|Owned by Flame the Sunbird; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|Christian Weston Chandler
|-
|[[File:Pickle-pink.jpg|50px]]
|Pink
|Charity
|Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu in return for murdering Robotnik
|Megan
|-
|[[File:Pickle-orange.jpg|50px]]
|Orange
|Chastity
|Owned by Sammy; stolen by Metal Asperchu
|Wesli Chu
|-
| –
|Yellow
|Diligence
|Inside Asperchu
|Asperchu
|-
| –
|Red
|Humility
| -
|Ian Brandon Anderson
|}

*The Chaos Pickles parody the [[Sonichu Balls]]. They are each named for one of the [[Wikipedia:Seven virtues#Seven heavenly virtues|seven heavenly virtues]].

==Locations==

===Alzheichu's Home===
This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.
* A parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].

===The Brass Dragon===
A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.
* This is a parody of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

===Pickles Ranch===
Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.
*Resembles the Skywalker farm from [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope|''Star Wars'']].

===[[CWCville]]===
Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.

===Albville===
Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].

===Bionic's fortress===
[[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue.
*Based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED factory]] where [[Tobacky|smokers]] were murdered.

===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Center]]===
The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|"Undesirables"]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered "Ian's most terrible legacy". Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.
*The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2]] and an infamous Chris video mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].

===Molvanîa===

An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.
*[[Molvanîa]] was the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]], named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.

==Issues==
Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of ''Asperchu'' have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which began its issue numbering with [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and then complicated the matter with numbered "Episodes" and "Sub-Episodes" (so [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).
===List of issues===

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Cover
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot summary
|-
| [[File:a0.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #0
|''ASPERCHU'S First Date... and his first villain!''
| Asperchu goes on a date with Lisa, and is tricked into having his medallion stolen. ''First appearance of Asperchu, Max, Jivin Pickles, Lisa, Heaven.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 0A Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue 0A
| ''The challenge of TRUE Piety''
| Asperchu makes a video attacking the trolls, provoking the ire of Christian couple Kendra and John. Grandpa Alzheichu refuses to let Jivin enter his house. John confronts Asperchu over his unChristian attitudes; Asperchu retaliates by forging a new medallion. Lisa tells John that she stole the original medallion. ''First appearance of Grandpa Alzheichu, Sitting Chu, Jormungand.'' ''Only appearance of Calvin, Kendra, John, Micah, Benny Chu, W.E.B. Dubois, various Normandale students.''
|-
| [[File:JIVIN_Issue_0_Page_1.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="black" height="10px"|
| Jivin Sub-Episode
| ''Jivin's first solo adventure!''
| Jivin's father is captured by Denubius King, but Jivin rescues him. It turns out that the Pickles family owns one of the fabled Chaos Pickles. ''First appearance of Dick Pickles, Bullet-Time Montgomery.'' ''Only appearance of Denubius King.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 0B Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue 0B
| ''Swords and Axes... the Duel of Ages!''
| Jonas Chu defeats Asperchu in a ''Guitar Hero'' tournament, then is kidnapped by Dino Dash. Jivin fails to seduce Dixie. Asperchu makes a weak attempt at impersonating Jonas on YouTube, then fails to prevent Dixie's abduction. ''First appearance of Grandma Snorlax, Sonichu, Dixie Chu, Dino Dash, Sinestro, Jonas Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue C Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue C
| ''Things are coming to a head!''
| Asperchu is kidnapped by Sinestro, who has created many Asperchu clones. ''First appearance of Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu.'' ''Only appearance of Autischu, Down Chu, XXY Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 1 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue #1
| ''The big leagues.''
| Metal seizes Simonchu's drill medallion. Sonichu introduces Asperchu to the Chaotic Combo, and Magi-Chan enters a trance in order to track down Metal - but Asperchu makes him find Dixie instead. Wild tells of the oppression wreaked by Mayor Anderson. Metal takes the first Chaos Pickle from the Pickles family. Sinestro creates Noir Chu and (accidentally) Aspercream. The Combo fight Metal Asperchu, who kills three of them and then finds the second Pickle in a mysterious skull-shaped factory. ''First appearance of Simonchu, Bubbles, Larry D. Waltz, Magi-Chan, Noir Chu, Aspercream, Mitch Chu.'' ''Only appearance and death of Punchy, Angelica, and Wild.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 2 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #2
| ''The quest for the Chaos Pickles continues.''
| The funeral of Punchy, Angelica and Wild takes place. Metal Asperchu forces the second Chaos Pickle from Bionic, who tells him the owner of the third Pickle: Flame the Sunbird. Rosechu and Simonchu hook up at the funeral (despite Magi-Chan's love for Simonchu), while a confused Noir Chu confronts his clone-brother Asperchu. Mitch Chu brings Noir and Asperchu to Sitting Chu's Soup Hotel in ALBville, where Noir gives up his gun and they meet the Basement Rosechus. Asperchu is kicked out for eating the homeless's food, and attempts to buy a McDonald's meal with food stamps. Metal kills Robotnik in return for Bionic giving him the fourth Chaos Pickle. Silvana murders Bubbles and hacks into Magi-Chan's computer. Bionic then asks that Metal Asperchu bring him Christian Weston Chandler - alive. ''First appearance of Rosechu, Bionic, Silvana.'' ''Only appearance of Whispy, Thomas Jefferson, Flame the Sunbird, Jimarcus Chu, Officer Louis Perez, Moe Chu, Brit-Tay Rosechu, Mary Rosechu, Rosee.'' ''Only appearance and death of Ivo Robotnik.'' ''Death of Bubbles.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 3 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #3
|'' Taking the battle to the enemy.''
| Sinestro and Waltz unsuccessfully interrogate Aspercream to find out Noir Chu's location. Sonichu 'n' pals try to liberate CWCville. Magi-Chan is murdered by Silvana, who brings Asperchu to Ian Brandon Anderson. Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu confront IBA, but then Metal breaks in and cuts off Sonichu's hand. Ian enters his Son-Chu suit and fights back. He cripples Metal Asperchu, but is then is set on fire by Metal and thrown from his tower. Metal then activates his four Chaos Pickles and takes on a new form. ''Only appearance of IBA's legion of Sonichus.'' ''Last appearance of Silvana.'' ''Death of Magi-Chan.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 3D Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #3D
| ''Travel through the third dimension... Time!''
| Asperchu, Max and Jivin have been sent back to 1999. 1999-Ian takes them to Manchester High School, and beats up the modern IBA. Bionic then appears and talks to the trio. 1999-Ian molests Ivy, is tasered by Megan and then meets Blaziken, who tries to molest him. Bionic kills Blaziken, but Asperchu claims credit. A distraught Bionic attempts suicide, but Jivin saves him. 1999-Ian mixes Asperchu's comeuppance with his own to create Sonichu. The two Ians then fight, their Curse-ye-ha-me-has crossing to knock our heroes back to their own time. In 2000, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, while in the modern day, Metal Asperchu confronts Asperchu and Ian. ''First appearance of Bill the Scientist, Megan.'' ''Only appearance of Ian's boss, Ivy, Satan.'' ''Only appearance and death of Principal Blaziken.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 4 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Issue #4
| ''Metal and glass...''
| Asperchu reveals to Sonichu than Ian is his true father. Metal Asperchu takes the fifth Chaos Pickle from Sammy. Asperchu craps out Asperia. Metal demands that Sinestro tell him what the "fourth directive" is. Sonichu, Simonchu and Mitch break into Ian's cell in order to find Sonichu's true origin. Simonchu is captured by Bionic. Asperia eats Grandma Snorlax's foot. Max defeats the Yellow Devil, then Christian Weston Chandler arrives. Bionic shoots Mitch and flees. ''First appearance of Yellow Devil, Cthulhu Chu, Sammy.'' ''Only appearance of Bubastis Chu.'' ''Death of Mitch Chu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 5 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #5
| ''The end of one, beginning of another.''
| Ian Brandon Anderson realizes that Asperchu was the part-creator of Sonichu. Mayorshack Tito is the new Mayor of CWCville - CWC shows Asperchu the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, and tells Sonichu that Ian is his real father. In a rage, Sonichu hunts down his father, shooting Ian in both knees. The Yellow Devil captures Sonichu, Noir Chu and Asperchu, and brings them to Bionic. Metal Asperchu realizes that the "fourth directive" will work on an immature Asperchu clone. Bionic goads Sonichu into killing IBA, and he accidentally shoots Asperia. Metal creates Argentum, who rebuilds the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Sonichu climbs the 4-Cent_Garbage Center in order to gain revenge on his father. ''First appearance of Argentum, Slaweel the Witch, Naitsirhc, Jack Thaddeus, Mayorshack Tito, Jason Kendrick Howell.'' ''Death of Cthulhu Chu, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperia.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 5E Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #5E
| ''A bloody fight.''
| Sonichu fights his way up the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, killing Naitsirhc, Jerkops, Jason Kendrick Howell and Bagget, before being attacked by Plautistic, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash and Joshua Martinez. Sonichu then aims to kill Asperchu, only to be interrupted by Wes-Li Chu, who shows him some "magic". Giovanni then battles Sonichu with his elite Pokémon, who Sonichu defeats. He then reaches "WesLi Chu's Luv Shack", where Megagi Chu, Saramah and Jiggliami mock him and are murdered by him. Sonichu fights Wes-Li again, but is teleported to the top of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, where he fights Slaweel, who transforms into an Ultimecia-style dragon. Asperchu accidentally kills her by throwing his Xbox Portable into her mouth. The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is destroyed, and Sonichu realizes that Asperchu is also his father. ''First appearance of Michael Snyder, MIPS, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Blazebob Sonichu.'' ''Only appearance of Giovanni, Plautistic, Count Graduon, CADD Chef, Shuckle, Metapod, Castform, Delibird.'' ''Only appearance and death of Jerkops, Bagget, Joshua Martinez, Megagi Chu, Jiggliami.'' ''Death of Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Slaweel the Witch.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 6 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #6
|''Darkness fears not the Heart.''
| Wesli Chu is imprisoned in Molvanîa by the MIPS. CWC sends Asperchu and Jivin to Molvanîa to find him. Yawning Squirtle is recovered from the wreckage of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Wesli steals a mysterious disk from the Dean and gives it to Metal Asperchu, who tells him to kill Argentum. Asperchu 'n' pals go to the Brass Dragon, owned by Michael Snyder. Metal Asperchu scans several people, and then fights our heroes at the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Grandpa Alzheichu dies in defeating Metal. ''First appearance of Princess Julie, Yawning Squirtle.'' ''Only appearance of Crackder, Punislav Royal Guard, GameStop boss.'' ''Death of Noir Chu, Grandpa Alzheichu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 7 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue 7
| ''Excuses, excuses, excuses...''
| The MIPS plan to set up Asperchu to fulfill the Prophecy. Asperchu meets Heaven in a bar, drinks a beer and decides to take a photograph of Snyder for his dartboard. He attempts vehicular homicide of Snyder, Perez and Grant, and is arrested for causing minor injuries to Michael Snyder. Meanwhile, Bionic tries to cure Sonichu of his possession by Ian, and they seek out Sinestro's help. A squirrel named Rocky tells him that nothing is his fault and that his Asperger's excuses everything. CWC bails him out, but Asperchu demands an apology for being left to wait THREE HOURS at the police station. Asperchu is thrown from their tower, landing on Sammy, and the liberators of CWCville go back to searching for survivors from the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. They recover Saramah Chu, who is somehow still alive. Christian Weston Chandler says that the seven Chaos Pickles are "artifacts of supreme power and energy", and that they have attached themselves to seven "avatars" in order to remain stable in this universe. It is revealed that Asperchu, CWC, Wesli Chu, Saramah Chu and Sonichu are five of the avatars, and two are unknown. Also, Rocky is revealed to the reader to be one of the MIPS. Chris decides to lead a unit to retrieve Sonichu's Pickle. Heaven and Lisa kidnap Asperchu and bring him to Dean Waltz in a bid to retrieve the information that Metal Asperchu gave to the MIPS. Sonichu feels ecstatic after his Pickle is activated. When Chris, Rosechu and Julie come to speak to him, he has them imprisoned; Sonichu seems to have become insane. Meanwhile, Asperchu attacks the Dean with his Asperhameha, and is arrested again. Max and Jivin visit him. Jimmy Hill, King of Molvanîa, is enraged by his daughter Julie's capture, and plans to rescue her. ''First appearance of "Rocky".'' ''Only appearance of GAMe PLACe kids, Gerald Grant.''
|-
| [[File:Issue 8 Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #8
|''Trial by fire!''
| Asperchu unwisely hires Yawning Squirtle to defend him. The jury consists of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from Issue 0, while Lewis Croagunk prosecutes. Squirtle makes the feeble counter-defense that Snyder was planning to break into Asperchu's house, pour Wite-Out on his playing cards and wipe his hard drive, but has nothing to back this allegation up with. Sonichu appears as witness, and says that Asperchu is innocent. "Rocky" convinces Asperchu to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself. Sonichu and Asperchu begin a pointless argument as to who is "true and honest", and Sonichu freaks out and flees the courtroom. Jimmy Hill breaks into the courtroom and retrieves his daughter Julie. Asperchu receives life imprisonment. Sonichu appears to have absorbed too much of Ian's personality, and is thrown from Fort Grosse by Argentum. ''Only appearance of Lewis Croagunk, Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Chloe Rosechu.'' ''Last appearance of Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu.''
|-
| [[File:Issue F Cover.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue #F
| '' Three guesses what the F stands for...''
| Argentum has sent Chris, Sonichu, Sinestro and Bionic to bizarre worlds.
*Chris sees a perfect Sonichu facing CWC-Botnik, whom he easily kills. Chris realizes that this is not the real Sonichu, as he has no idea who Benny Chu (from ''Asperchu'' #0A) was.
*A now-mobile Bionic finds himself the beloved son of a "Rollin' and Trollin'"-style Ian Brandon Anderson. Chris releases him from the fantasy world.
* Sinestro is met by Naitsirhc, who brings him to Slaweel. Sinestro realizes that all this is false. Mary offers him the sixth and seventh Chaos Pickle, but Sinestro realizes that it's an illusion. He punches a hole in reality and goes to meet CWC. The avatars of the final two Pickles emerge: Megan and Lovely Weather. Argentum goes to seek the other avatars.
*The diseased Sonichu struggles through a strange forest to confront the deceased Mitch Chu, who reminds Sonichu of all the evil he did in Ian's name. Sonichu becomes completed possessed by Ian's essence, becoming... Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Asperchu finds prison life difficult - he is attacked by a Skullmaster and almost raped by a Poliwrath, but saved by Gumby, who decides to protect him and teach him to be a Christian. Asperchu rewrites the Bible as ''Asperchoso''. Gumby then introduces Asperchu to Jesus Himself, but Asperchu isn't very interested. Asperchu and Gumby escape the other prisoners by jumping into ''Asperchoso''. Once there, Asperchoso shoots Gumby in the shins, and Asperchu escapes the book. Poliwrath becomes a devotee of Asperchoso, and Asperchu erases Gumby from the Book, killing him.

Chris and Julie arrive to break Asperchu out of prison, in order to protect him and his Chaos Pickle from Argentum.

Meanwhile, Bionic creates a holographic version of the Ian who loves him.
 ''First appearance of Lovely Weather.'' ''Only appearance of CWC-Botnik, Skullmaster, Krang, Blaziken, Poliwrath, Jesus, Asperchoso, various prisoners.'' ''Only appearance and death of Gumby, Warden Clawdorf.''
|-
| [[File:A10.jpg|150px]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
|Issue Ten
|''It's time.''
| Issue Ten has begun with Asperchu describing "LITTLE BIG AUTISM", in which he talks of [[Asperger's syndrome]] in ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''. He awakes on Julie's airship and the coalition aims to defeat Argentum.
 ''First appearance of Groovan.''
|}

== References ==
<references />
==External links==
*[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ ''Asperchu'' site]
*[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia]

[[Category:Fan]]
[[Category:Fan art]]

Sonichu (IRC chat)

2011-06-05T19:55:16Z

Tepples: TIP: MediaWiki supports IRC URLs

{{protip|If you're in #sonichu and no one is there, you're probably in #sonichu on the wrong IRC network. The TRUE and [[HONEST]] #sonichu channel is in irc.rizon.net, port 7000. See [[IRC:Contents]] for more info}}

'''#sonichu''' is the IRC chatroom (irc.rizon.net:7000) where all TRUE and LOYAL [[Sonichu]] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]] hang out.

In late 2008 and early 2009, [[CWC]] himself used to show up in the channel on occasion to answer questions from his "[[fans]]" and spar with trolls like [[Clyde Cash]]. Since the later days of the [[PandaHalo]] saga in [[January 2009]], however, Chris has retreated from interacting on IRC.

Rizon members can [irc://irc.rizon.net:7000/sonichu join #sonichu in an IRC client].

==See also==
*[[IRC:Contents]]
*[[IRC:Bans]]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:IRC]]

Good Fan Art

2011-06-05T19:09:35Z

Tepples: ED is now Oh Internet

'''[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Good_Fan_Art Good Fan Art]''' is a gallery of images created by Chris of "good" fan art (read: fan art that [[Chris and his Ego|praises him]] or in the very least doesn't have [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]]) on [[CWCipedia]] on 10 [[August 2009]].

Notable fanart includes some of [[Ivy]]'s renditions of classic Sonichu characters, in addition to fanart from [[PandaHalo]] and [[Blanca]]. Interestingly, Chris chooses to include less flattering but not outright offensive art, such as Sonichu ''á la'' the [http://ohinternet.com/360_Kid 360 kid] and a picture that crudely depicts Chris's demented mind. He includes these most likely because he can't read between the lines.

==Gallery==

'''Good Sonichu/Rosechu FanArt Gallery'''
<gallery perrow="5">
Image:SonichuCover10.jpg
Image:PandaSonichu.JPG
Image:SurfingSonichubyPandaHalo.JPG
Image:Rosechu by PandaHalo.png
Image:PandaFanComic.JPG

Image:Chloe.png
Image:Blazebob.png
Image:DemonichubyPandaHalo.JPG
Image:BobChrisChanAndChloe.png
Image:SchuRchuFanSite.JPG

Image:IvysRosechu.jpg
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg
Image:Layla.jpg
Image:Princessivy.png
Image:Ivy.png

Image:Moeeth.png
Image:Sonichu111.jpg
Image:Rosechu1111.jpg
Image:Pd.jpg
Image:AliciasSonichuandRosechuFanart.jpg

Image:Issue 12 Cover.jpg
Image:Jiggy.jpg
Image:Jiggliami Jigglypuff x Sonic by KawaiiKitsune123.jpg
Image:Jiggliami Flash by KawaiiKitsune123.jpg
Image:Jiggliami Human by KawaiiKitsune123.jpg

Image:Punchy Sonichu by Evang y.JPG
Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png
Image:Punksonichu.jpg
Image:SoniChu Revamp Sonichu+Rosechu.png
Image:SoniChu Revamp Blachu.png

Image:BubblesRevamp.jpg
Image:Anon fanart 7 by viviG.JPG
Image:Sonichu vivi vs Ness chris by viviG.JPG
Image:ViviGSonichu4.JPG
Image:Sonichu ripped.JPG

Image:Cc4.JPG
Image:Fistofthesonichu.JPG
Image:Sonichu dark.JPG
Image:Sonichubetterthancanon.JPG
Image:SonichuWillShowYouOnline.JPG

Image:Sonichu12.jpg
Image:Slaweelchan.JPG
Image:Maryleewalshpatriot.png
Image:Againstjerkops.jpg
Image:AlainaSonichu.JPG

Image:BeinandSonichu.JPG
Image:Chris Chan by balsis.jpg
Image:Cindyleblanc-Rosechu.jpg
Image:Cindyleblanc-adventure.jpg
Image:Classic Sonichu by mrstupes.jpg

Image:CWCCharaciture.jpg

</gallery>
</noinclude>

==See also:==
{{CWCipedia|Good Fan Art={{NAMESPACE}}|Good Fan Art={{NAMESPACE}}}}
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[:Category:Fan art|Evil Fan Art]]

[[Category:CWCipedia]]
[[Category:Fan art]]

Donald Duck impersonation

2011-06-05T17:46:29Z

Tepples: /* The impersonation */ as has this one

[[Image:Chris Donald.jpg|thumb|What Donald Duck would probably look like had Chris's impersonation manifested.]]

{{quote|Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an [[Twin Falling Towers|offensive joke]]. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ Donald Duck. Quack! Quack!|Dating tips from the guru, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}

[[Image:180px-Dolan original.gif|thumb|Everything went worse than expectations]]
{{quote|I... oh my God, I'm shaking. '''What''' was that voice? Th- that was Hell...|[[Clyde Cash]]<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] is pretty good at '''impersonating Donald [[Duck]].''' That is, a [[autism|deranged]], syphilitic, crack-addicted Donald Duck that will only show up in your darkest nightmares. Although unlikely, some [[trolls]] maintain that when he worked at [[Wendy's]], he was actually fired for doing this impersonation. Since it might have been one of many grievances that Chris's former employers had, there might be some truth to this claim.

This impression is an achievement of which Chris is extremely proud. He even goes so far as to mention it in casual conversation, and [[Dating education|suggests other people to use it when hitting on women]]. Apparently, in Chris's mind, chicks dig terrifying impersonations of Disney characters. But then again, this is a tamer piece of the usual [[honest content]] that he subjects women to. He probably misunderstood some advice suggesting that showing off one's talents is a good way to get a girl's attention, so Chris believes that he has a talent for impersonation. This might impress a ten-year-old, but will not entice [[china]].

Disturbingly, Chris has also been known to do this impersonation whilst [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

==The impersonation==
Chris's horrific impersonation appeared in a conversation with [[Clyde Cash]] on 6 [[February 2009]].

==Chris talks to ducks==
Chris mentioned that he talked to ducks in a park when [[Megan]] stood him up on their "date", implying that he used the same Donald Duck imitation routine to break the language barrier.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2005-2006]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Duck]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]

Donald Duck impersonation

2011-06-05T17:46:02Z

Tepples: /* The impersonation */ This video has been removed by the user

[[Image:Chris Donald.jpg|thumb|What Donald Duck would probably look like had Chris's impersonation manifested.]]

{{quote|Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an [[Twin Falling Towers|offensive joke]]. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ Donald Duck. Quack! Quack!|Dating tips from the guru, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]''<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}

[[Image:180px-Dolan original.gif|thumb|Everything went worse than expectations]]
{{quote|I... oh my God, I'm shaking. '''What''' was that voice? Th- that was Hell...|[[Clyde Cash]]<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] is pretty good at '''impersonating Donald [[Duck]].''' That is, a [[autism|deranged]], syphilitic, crack-addicted Donald Duck that will only show up in your darkest nightmares. Although unlikely, some [[trolls]] maintain that when he worked at [[Wendy's]], he was actually fired for doing this impersonation. Since it might have been one of many grievances that Chris's former employers had, there might be some truth to this claim.

This impression is an achievement of which Chris is extremely proud. He even goes so far as to mention it in casual conversation, and [[Dating education|suggests other people to use it when hitting on women]]. Apparently, in Chris's mind, chicks dig terrifying impersonations of Disney characters. But then again, this is a tamer piece of the usual [[honest content]] that he subjects women to. He probably misunderstood some advice suggesting that showing off one's talents is a good way to get a girl's attention, so Chris believes that he has a talent for impersonation. This might impress a ten-year-old, but will not entice [[china]].

Disturbingly, Chris has also been known to do this impersonation whilst [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

==The impersonation==
Chris's horrific impersonation appeared in a conversation with [[Clyde Cash]] on 6 [[February 2009]].
Skip to 0:28 to hear it.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|dBujZWP8K9U}}</center>

==Chris talks to ducks==
Chris mentioned that he talked to ducks in a park when [[Megan]] stood him up on their "date", implying that he used the same Donald Duck imitation routine to break the language barrier.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2005-2006]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Duck]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]

Noviophobia

2011-06-05T16:42:38Z

Tepples: "Philophobia" exits.

[[Image:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris explains his "phobia". Note the text box in the screenshot.]]

'''Noviophobia''' is a word [[Chris]] created that he describes as his general fear of girls being paired up. While normal people would suggest that this is a form of social anxiety or that Chris is just [[Wikipedia:Love_shyness|love shy]], Chris of course felt the need to coin his own term for it.

Chris's noviophobia manifested itself during the first months of his [[Love Quest]], and came to be because the girls he asked would often turn him down on the grounds that they "already had a boyfriend," due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. This eventually led to Chris's obsession with finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]. Chris formed the word noviophobia by using the [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|Spanish]] word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English term ''phobia'', derived from the Greek word ''φόβος'' (phóbos), meaning fear.

The name Chris coined for his fear is therefore not completely logical, as it refers to the fear of boyfriends themselves, and not so much to the fear of girls being undatable. It also wouldn't suffice as a scientific medical term, because fears are usually derived from Greek words. An eligible term would be ''philophobia'', using the Greek word φίλος (phílos), which in this context, roughly means "male friend" or "boyfriend", or ''agoriphobia'', from the Greek ''αγόρι'', meaning "boyfriend". Wikipedia describes "[[wikipedia:Philophobia (fear)|philophobia]]" as "the fear of being in love and falling in love."

The word is alternatively spelled "noiophobia", as it appears in Christian's letter to ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' about how ''[[Sprung]]'' has helped this condition. Chris later explained that this was an accidental misspelling.

==Uses by Chris==
In addition to the infamous ''Nintendo Power'' letter, Chris has used this particular invented term on several occasions.

* Chris apparently described his noviophobia (spelled as "novio phobia" by the examiner) to the psychiatrist he spoke with during his [[autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] from 2004.
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' contains multiple references to noviophobia, in Chris's third-person description of himself and in a discussion of his letter to ''Nintendo Power'' (where he corrects the magazine's spelling of the term).
* Chris also mentions his noviophobia several times in the different editions of his [[Story of My Current Days]].
* Though he doesn't use the full term, Chris mentions his phobia of boyfriends during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]].
* In his [[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)|edited version of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]], published on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[December 2009]], Chris claimed that he had gotten over his fear of boyfriends in general, replacing it with a more specific fear and hatred of [[trolls]].

==See also==
* [[Spanish]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Random-access humor

2011-06-05T15:01:18Z

Tepples: lead: Wikipedia has a more specific article about non seq as a literary device

: '''random access''' ''n.''
:: 1. ''(computing)'' type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). ''See also'' random access memory.
::''adj.''
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
: '''humor''' ''n.''
:: 1. Something funny.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' Something not funny, but which can be made funny when accessed randomly (q.v.). ''See'' random access.
[[Image:Wild_Snergen_Flergen.jpg|thumb|[[Wild Sonichu]] offers some uproarious Random Access Humor]]
'''Random-access humor''' is [[Chris]]'s terminology for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. More traditional literary analysts might describe this as the [[Wikipedia:Non sequitur (literary device)|literary device of ''non sequitur'']]. The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Christian's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random that it is automatically funny, which is a common fallacy among nerds and retards. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often unoriginal. Jokes are mostly taken from [[Adult Swim]] shows, ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', or even shows like [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|''Ed, Edd n Eddy'']] and [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']], making them completely out of context. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris ''is'' original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or making word-plays. This is due to Chris being a [[Autism papers|"somewhat concrete"]] thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. Bob told Chris a joke about Obama painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps ''re-telling'' the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "Nantucket" is, ''you will Google it soon.'') Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:DariaCamacho User talk:DariaCamacho]</ref> a fear which falls nicely in line with [[autism]].

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. He tends to use these when a conversation is not going in a direction he wants it to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will briefly distract him from seeing what a failure he is.

{{quote|Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.|Chris during the [[Father Call]], showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills}}

==Random ramblings==

In November [[2007]], in a misguided attempt to help [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:

<blockquote>
----

Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Hero]] is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the [[Transformers Generation 1|Junkeons]]...

{{quote| -"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from Ed Edd n Eddy episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]</ref>
 -"[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:|Uncle Spunky is a Funky Monkey]]."
 -"[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]."
 -"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
 -"[[CWCFlyingElephants|I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket.]]"
 -"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
 -"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
 -"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."<ref>From the US-dubbed version of Samurai Pizza Cats. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had "had his wisdom teeth removed."</ref>
 -"[[BILLY MAYS|Call 'Right Now']], and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your [[Sweetheart]], FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
 -"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
 -"Well get out of here. What are you waiting on? I'm gonna chase you outta here."<ref>Originally said by Meatwad; originated from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' episode [http://athf.frostillusions.net/transcripts/oldrippy.html "Ol' Drippy"]</ref>
 -"[[Flipnote Hatena|You've got a Hippo on your head.]]"
 -"[[Transformers]]. Robots on your head. Okay."
 -"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."<ref name="brak"> From [[Adult Swim|''The Brak Show'']] episode [http://members.fortunecity.com/brakshow/newbrak.html "The New Brak"] </ref>
 -"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."<ref name="brak"/>
 -"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"<ref name="brak"/>
 -"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist. <ref>''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "[[JERKS|jerks]]")</ref>"
 -"Is this [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what?"

|Chris-Chan|}}

I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!
----

</blockquote>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Punchy]] - A fighting electric hedgehog Pokémon who is explicitly stated to be the master of RAH, although, so far, he hasn't shown it.
*[[Monty Python]] - Actual masters of RAH, whom Chris unsuccessfully tried to emulate.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]
*[[Christian's Sex Joke]] - A staple of Chris's repertoire.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Sonichu (comic)

2011-06-05T14:01:08Z

Tepples: I've never heard of a "self-inset", but the rest of the sentence seems to imply that what is going on is what TV Tropes calls a "self-inseRt".

[[Image:SonichuLogo.png|center|Man's ultimate Rorschach test.]]

{{quote|[[Chris and art|My art]] speaks for me.|[[Chris]]<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>.}}
{{Quote|I have not ended [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]; I only lost inspiration to draw, thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu''''' was [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s official poorly [[Art|drawn]] and [[Chris and writing|written]] comic book about the adventures and travails that befell "[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|him]]" and his (imaginary) friends. Despite starting out as a comic about the titular character, it quickly turned into a wish-fulfillment outlet for Chris and his depraved fantasies, with [[Sonichu]] being a main character in name only, playing second fiddle to Chris's almighty [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] self-insert.

==Introduction==
[[Image:SonicVsSonichu.jpg|thumb|180px|[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|THE WORLD'S MOST WAY PAST COOL COMIC!]]]]

The inadvertent shattering of his heart from [[Sarah Hammer]], along with the expulsion from English class, and the confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] provided the impetus for Christian to kick-start the comic series in full force. It initially served as a complement to his [[Love Quest]] as a feeble attempt to link an accomplishment, or boost his own self-worth to unsuspecting prey; after all, [[Sonichu]] ''is'' "Zappin' to the Extreme!" He is Christian Weston Chandler's ''only'' son, and the first ''way past cooler'' [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]!

The comics series has been hosted on the various incarnations of Christian's [[Sonichu site|homepage]] (currently hosted nowhere, except the [[CWCki]] archive), and was originally promoted from his now-defunct ''Sonichu'' business cards. Each new addition to the series would proudly sport a "To be continued..." disclaimer page. In fact, the comics are not updated with any regular frequency: in five years, Chris has yet to complete twelve issues, even though Chris has zero responsibilities and unlimited free time.

==Reader's Guide to ''Sonichu''==

===How-to and Overview===
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|180px|The ever infamous JARGON page.]]
[[Image:ComicTBCont.jpg|thumb|180px|TO BE CONTINUED (c.) 2001-????]]

The ''Sonichu'' series began with issue #0 instead of #1, and each issue contained multiple separately-numbered "episodes", so [[trolls|readers]] often lost track of which story happened in which issue. For example, [[Black Sonichu]] was introduced in Episode #4, which was the fifth story in the overall series and the first story in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], which was in turn the second comic. Further confounding matters were the [[Sub-Episodes]] about Christian's [[Love Quest]], which appeared in issues #0-4, and were numbered separately from the main stories.

Issues #0 and #1 featured [[Sonichu]] as the unchallenged star of the series, with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as a supporting character also appearing in the backup strips. By issue #2, the comic had abruptly transitioned to Christian encountering people from his real life in shitty [[anime]] battles. Token attempts to tell Sonichu stories and introduce Sonichu spin-off characters were made in #3, but all pretense was dropped in #4-#7 as the series becomes a vehicle for Christian, as the leader of a heroic [[Chaotic Combo|band of recolors]], to battle against [[Mary|a college dean]], a group of ineffectual [[Jerkops|security guards]], [[manajerks|store managers]], and later on, [[troll|internet trolls]] and [[Alec Benson Leary|other people who made fun of the comic]].

The comic series was presented as if it were a cartoon or [[anime]] (which might explain why the comics mimic visual effects that work in an audiovisual context but [[fail]] on paper), and was encapsulated into ''seasons'' with various episodes (or "series", for our Eurofag friends). [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was intended to wrap up the "first season" of ''Sonichu''. This opened a can of worms as to the current vision of the comics: was ''Sonichu'' intended to be the hit action/adventure soap-opera TV show that is broadcast in [[CWCville]], or was it the historical documentation of Christian's and Sonichu's life and times? Perhaps it was destined to be the Gospel from the Stay-at-Home Autistic Virgin Male, [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood.3F|''hallowed be His name'']]. Either way, it remained unanswered whether Christian continues on with the series because he has a vain, misguided belief that some TRUE and HONEST soul would consider these as "storyboards" for proper licensing and production.

===Art imitating life===
Sensing some criticism for the self-centeredness of his work, Christian wrote himself out of the series toward the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], trapping the Christian character in the [[Time Void]] so that the storyline could focus on other characters. Despite this, Sonichu still served as a strong Mary Sue character, as seen in Sonichu fighting [[4-cent_garbage.com]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as the clear Sue tendencies of [[Reginald Sneasel]].

He returned from the Time Void at the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], giving all non-Chris characters approximately one issue to have the spotlight to themselves, during which they mostly talked about how much they loved Chris and hoped he would return safely. On the final page of the issue, Chris claimed that he would write himself out of the series permanently, giving his characters the opportunity to shine on their own. He went back on this promise almost the moment he made it — issue #10 is one of the most Christian-centric of the entire series.

Following the theft of his [[Medallions of Fail]] by [[Blanca]], Christian immediately released a new comic adapting the theft into his canon and explaining that the TRUE source of his power lay in his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Since this story was necessarily set after Christian escapes the Time Void, it was deemed a special preview of ''Sonichu'' #10, despite the fact that Chris had at that point not finished ''Sonichu'' #8 nor begun ''Sonichu'' #9.

Chris started ''Sonichu'' #11 in [[December 2009]] and completed ''Sonichu'' #10 in [[February 2010]]. Since then, no new pages have been released, apart from a revised ending to issue #10 in [[October 2010]].<ref>[[Book10Replacement]]</ref>

The entire ''Sonichu'' series has been faithfully adapted into [[audiobooks]] on YouTube.

==List of Issues==

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| rowspan="5"|[[Image:issuezero.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 0|'''''Sonichu'' #0''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #1
| "Sonichu's Orgin"
| The amazing origin story of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon! ''First appearance of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Sonichu]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Kel]], and [[Rosechu]]. Only appearance of [[Perfect Chaos]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #2
| "Genesis of the Lovehogs"
| The origin story of how Sonichu and Rosechu became a true loving couple!
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #3
| "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc"
| The first meeting between Sonichu and Naitsirhc! ''First appearance of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].''
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Classic Sonichu Strips"
| Random stupid stories with Sonichu. ''First appearance of [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake), [[Jerkops]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Only appearances of [[Metonic]], [[Vamprosa]], and [[Barbara Chandler]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #1
| "Christian Chandler in ''Jerkop-tastropie''"
| The first Sub-Episode! This details Christian's first encounter with the Jerkops!
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:issueone.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 1|'''''Sonichu'' #1''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #4
| "Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''"
| The origin of Blake! ''First appearance of [[Doctor Robotnik]], [[Giovanni]], and [[Bill the Scientist]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #5
| "Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''"
| Blake kidnaps Rosechu. Sonic and Sonichu run into each other and then team up.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #6
| "Sonic & Sonichu ''Black Metal Combat''"
| Sonic and Sonichu fight Robotnik's latest creation. ''Only appearance of [[Metal Sonichu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #2
| "Christian Chandler in ''The Rise & Fall of My Heart''"
| The comic version of Chris's encounter with Hanna. ''Only appearance of [[Hanna]].''
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:SchuComic3Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 2|'''''Sonichu'' #2''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #7
| "Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''"
| Chris takes over the story as his Sonichu medallion unleashes the power of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. ''First appearance of [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Wes Iseli]], and the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].'' ''Only appearance of the Keeper of the Destiny Cave.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #8
| "Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''"
| The three empowered hedgehogs meet and fight. ''First appearance of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #9
| "Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''"
| Saramah breaks up with Wes-Li as Slaweel the Witch makes her first big attack on CWCville! ''First appearance of [[Count Graduon]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #3
| "Christian Chandler & Sonichu in ''Witch Confront''"
| Chris and Sonichu confront Slaweel!
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Issue3.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 3|'''''Sonichu'' #3''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #10
| "Sonichu Babies"
| The origins of the Chaotic Combo! ''First appearances of [[Wild Sonichu]], [[Bubbles Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Angelica Rosechu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], [[Sonee and Rosey]]. Only appearance of Nabe, [[Mypoe]], and the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #11
| "The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''"
| Blake steals the Master Sunstone and the Chaotic Combo unite! ''Only appearance of [[Flame the Sunbird]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #4
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack''"
| Chris is attacked in the M-C-D-ville by two Manajerks! ''First appearance of [[B-Manajerk]], [[Merried Seinor Comic]], [[W-M Manajerk]], and [[Darkbind Sonichu]].'' ''Only appearance of Super Chris-chan Sonichu.''
|-
| rowspan="8"|[[File:Issue4.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 4|'''''Sonichu'' #4''']]
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #1
| "Christian Chandler in ''Jerkop-tastropie''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #0.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #2
| "Christian Chandler in ''The Rise & Fall of My Heart''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #1.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #3
| "Christian Chandler & Sonichu in ''Witch Confront''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #2.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #4
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #3.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #5
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack Part 2''"
| Crystal appears to save the day as the W-M Manajerk attacks! ''First appearance of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]] and [[W-M Manajerk]]. Last appearance of the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #6
| "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"
| Chris gives us an inside look at the Jerkops. ''First appearance of [[ScotPalazzo]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #7
| "Christian Chandler in ''Off-Target''"
| Bagget arrives to attack Chris! ''First appearance of [[Bagget]] and [[Crackder]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #8
| "Christian Chandler in ''Off-Target Part 2''"
| Chris is taken captive, but is rescued by Crystal!
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:SchuComic6Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 5|'''''Sonichu'' #5''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #12
| "Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''"
| Chris attends Sarah Hammer's wedding, which is spoiled by Wes-Li Sonichu. Chris, with the aid of [[Megan Schroeder]], saves the day. ''First appearance of [[Megagi La Skunk]].'' ''Only appearances of [[William Spicer]] and [[Sailor Megtune]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #13
| "Shattered Hearts & Entrapment"
| Slaweel initiates an attack on CWCville, leading to Crystal getting trapped in the mirror! ''First appearance of [[DJ Jamsta]].''
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 6.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 6|'''''Sonichu'' #6''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #12.5
| "One Lucky Dog"
| Chris's dog, Patti, is transported to CWCville and becomes an anthropomorphic dog with magic powers. ''First appearances of [[Patti-Chan]] and [[Allison Amber]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #14
| "Evil is Afoot!"
| Chris and the Chaotic Combo begin their quest for the Sonichu Balls as Reldnahc makes his appearance. ''First appearance of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].''
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 7.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 7|'''''Sonichu'' #7''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #15
| "Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''"
| Chris learns the location of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]] and goes to get it. ''Only appearance of [[Sammy]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #16
| "C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''"
| Chris and Sonichu retrieve a Sonichu Ball, only for Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]].
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!"
| DJ Jamsta interviews Blanca and Jiggliami. ''First appearance of [[Jiggliami]].'' ''Only appearance of [[Blanca]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu8.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 8|'''''Sonichu'' #8''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #17
| "Rage Against the Garbage"
| After sex, Sonichu and Rosechu learn about [[4-cent_garbage.com]] and go to confront Jason Kendrick Howell over his work. They get a Sonichu Ball for their trouble. ''First appearance of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[The Incredible Lioness]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #18
| "Spring Break, 2008"
| Silvana makes her move as Jiggliami warns the others of her plans and they get another Sonichu Ball. ''First appearance of [[Zapina]], [[Simonla Rosechu]], and [[Silvana]].'' ''Last appearance of [[Jiggliami]].'' '' Only appearance of [[Yawning Squirtle]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"| [[File:SchuComic9.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 9|'''''Sonichu'' #9''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #19
| "Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)"
| THRILL to the wonder that is Chris's Dating Education classes! ''First appearances of [[Reginald Sneasel]], [[Layla]], and Rita Jackaras.'' ''Only appearance of Ms. Jackaras.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #20
| "CWC-Defense"
| The PVCC mounts a massive attack on CWCVille! Chris is later pulled out of the Time Void. ''First appearance of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] and the [[Power Rangers]].'' ''Only appearance of [[BILLY MAYS]].''
|-
| [[File:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 10|'''''Sonichu'' #10''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #21
| "Christian Chandler in ''Director Amenities''"
| [[Ego|Chris rains holy hell on all his enemies!]] ''First appearance of [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Lovely Weather]], [[Asperchu]], [[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)]], Metal Asperchu, the [[Asperpedia Four]], and [[Sandy Rosechu]].'' ''Deaths of Reldnahc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Asperchu, Clyde Cash, Jack Thaddeus, Chaotic Combo (Asperchu), Metal Asperchu, the Asperpedia Four, Slaweel the Witch, homosexuality, asexuality, and Simonla.''
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 11|'''''Sonichu'' #11''']]
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"A Sonichu Christmas"
| [[Christmas]] is coming, and Sonichu, Rosechu, and their children faff about the place doing nothing of importance.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #22
| "[Clip Show Episode]"
| Chris has stated that "The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed."<ref>[[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Issue 12 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 12|'''''Sonichu'' #12''']]
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"A Sonichu Christmas" (Continuation)
| Continuation of the [[Christmas]] special.<ref>[[CWC_Blog#14_February_2010]]</ref>
|}

==Unreleased Issues==
These comics are not yet completed by Chris, and most of them were briefly seen in videos during the [[Ivy]] Saga. Most of the unreleased comics were obtained by trolls and publicly released.

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Image
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|[[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special #1
| Unnamed
| Chris rescues Ivy from the clutches of "Cly". ''First appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Clyde Cash]]].''
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:IvyWedding.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|"[[Wedding Comic]]"
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special #2
| "Wedding Comic"
| The fail-tastic union of Chris and Ivy. ''Only appearances of Spas the Cat, Canino Houndhowl, Lilith, Rachel, [[Ching Chong]], and the unnamed priest.''
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|"[[Giant Penis Comic]]"
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special #3
| "Penis Comic"
| The even more fail-tastic honeymoon of Chris and Ivy. ''Last appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Officer Keino]].''
|-
| rowspan="1"|[[File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|150px]]
| rowspan="1"|[[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]]
|bgcolor="red" height="10px"|
| Special #4
| "Gun Comic"
| [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] "rescues" [[Kacey]] from [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (though it's unclear why Kacey needs to be rescued if she's in a consensual relationship with Liquid), shoots Liquid in the shins, and then makes out with Kacey. ''Only appearances of [[Kacey]], Kacey's mom, [[Matthew Devoria]], and [[Liquid Chris]].''
|}

Chris has claimed that in total, he plans to complete 50 to 100 issues in his lifetime.<ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]</ref>

==Currently==
[[File:TG3.jpg|thumb|180px|He failed to draw Sonichu on the wall in this leaked photo, a strong indicator that Chris has finally given up on Sonichu altogether.]]

On 27 [[May 2010]], Chris announced that he was abandoning the [[CWCipedia]] to the trolls. On 30 [[October 2010]], Chris claimed that the trolls drained his creativity and scared him away from drawing any more ''Sonichu''.<ref>[[DrainedCreativity]]</ref>

==Adaptations and Related Work==

* ''Sonichu'' Remake
* ''Sonichu'' Finale
* [[Audiobooks|''Sonichu'': The Audiobook Saga (TM)]]
* ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''
* ''Sonichu R'' - A rewrite on ff.net.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
* [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu_Comic_Collection CWCipedia comic archive (Episode #20 updates included)]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu TV Tropes article detailing everything wrong with ''Sonichu''.] (Page blown to smithereens and locked for bullshit reasons.)
* [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Video stating that ''Sonichu'' is too bad to be feeatured on a series about bad comics.]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Comic]]