CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Mailbag 31

2011-10-17T00:19:28Z

Thatguy: Fixed it, doesn't matter anymore.

==I have received no opinion on that video from God or Jesus==
So apparently something is only wrong if God and Jesus send Chris a clear sign telling him it's wrong. So that's just awesome.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:33, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

== What [[Homos|they]] do behind closed doors is None Of My Business ==
But they'll still be arrested if they do it. [[User:Fenny|Fenny]] 19:13, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*If [[magi-chan]] is spying on people 24/7, then it's no wonder he doesn't have time for a girlfriend(or boyfriend). he's constantly jacking off to psychic porn. [[User:Megapicklezord|Megapicklezord]] 03:21, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*That'd be something to include in the Chris and hypocrisy article, if it hasn't been yet! --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 03:46, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
** Added it to Tolerance. I hope it's not terrible. D: [[User:Fenny|Fenny]] 20:47, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

== It's just a cartoon... ==

"WHO CARES?; IT'S JUST A CARTOON!" is, sadly, the most reasonable answer Chris has ever given someone. --[[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 01:31, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Screaming "Who cares" at a legitimate fan question is hardly reasonable.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:24, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Mailbag 31

2011-10-17T00:18:14Z

Thatguy: /* If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them */ Oh hey, I fixed it!

'''Mailbag 31''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] 31 [[December 2009]]. On [[January 2010|1 January 2010]], Chris answered the questions (which require far less [[Stress|reading]]) but not the letters. Shortly after, CWCipedia was issued cease and desist letters from both [[11042009_51_50|Coca]]-[[April_16_Fetish_Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|cola]] and [[Family Guy|20th Century Fox]] for Chris's unauthorized placement of ads that suggested the Coke and the movie Avatar endorsed his [[Homos|bigoted]] views.

Chris answered the letters on 4 January. Compared to most other [[Mailbag|mailbags]], his answers were slightly more in-depth and ''vastly'' more disturbing. The most outlandish response was that he intends to make good on his [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|promise to film his first time]], even if his [[sweetheart]] disagrees. Chris also stated that he would rather let an innocent man die than have [[Homos|gay sex]], implied that he expects [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] to personally inform him whenever he's in error, and told us all that [[Magi-Chan]] psychically watches everybody in [[CWCville]] have sex, so anybody doing it wrong can be arrested. Worst of all, he states that the punishment to any sort of sexual violation, including child rape, is a $500 fine! Asperchu makes a special guest appearance, which goes a long way to make the whole ordeal more bearable.

==Answered==
===If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris!

I just wanted to let you know that my kids and I are HUGE fans of your comic. I read a page to them every night before their bedtime.

But in [[mailbag 23]] you stated that it would be ok for kids to watch adult things with parental supervision. Does this mean that it would be ok for them to watch pornography with me? It's not like I'd be touching them or [[Pedofork|molesting]] them. I also wouldn't be jerking off- I just like watching girls & guys get it on with each other.

I think it'd be pretty [[Dating education|educational]] for them. They'd get to know where babies come from and I'd get to watch my porn without worrying about them walking in- they'd already be there! As long as I explain it to them, it's ok- right?

I started doing this already and my kids haven't complained or anything! I've told all of my fellow fathers about your advice and they've already started doing it as well!

Thanks Chris!!

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|WOAH!!! Slow Down There. I was talking in reference to shows that are Rated TV-14 at the most; I did not mean to include XXX Pornography, or most shows that are Rated TV-MA. Unless they are 16 or 17 years or older, then it would be most Appropriately Educational. I was speaking, of course, in reference to the show, Family Guy, which is Rated TV-14 in the response to past letters. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Genuinely hand-drawn===
{{Email|From: Kevin Sevakis <kerosenedreams77@gmail.com>
Hey, CWC.
If you put the words of the comic on the computer, why don't you just color the comic on the computer, too?}}
{{EmailReply|Then it would not be Genuinely Hand-Drawn or Hand-Colored; few examples of Fan Art that were Obviously Computer-Drawn are not as good as Original Hand-Drawn/Colored creations.}}

===Blake has a very deep individual===
{{Email|From: kawaiinamine32@aol.com

Good day, Mr. Chandler. I have a few questions for you... 1) Seeing one of your answers from [[Mailbag 19]], I have to ask, Do you really think of or see people with [[Asperger's Syndrome]] as "Competing [[Slow-in-the-minds|Retards]]"? 2) What the hell is up with [[Blake|Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake]]!? (He started out as [[Liquid Chris|a badass]], now he's just [[Ian Brandon Anderson|pathetic]]...) 3) Is Sonichu really aimed towards children? (from all the pages I've read, it would be, at least TV MA...too mature for children.)}}
{{EmailReply|Competing, yes; Retards, no. He is not pathetic; he has a very deep individual. Yes, it is meant to be TV-Y7 FOR CHILDREN.}}

===Chris and web design===
{{Email|From: alphard@conexao-br.net

Hey, CWC.

I've heard that you're pretty good with HTML, so...
 What do you think about HTML5 and CSS3?
 Do you often use XHTML?
 And do you follow the W3C specifications correctly? }}
{{EmailReply|I only know basic HTML; the new stuff is NEW to me.}}

===Magi-Chan knows when you fuck===
{{Email|From: hyle.19@gmail.com

Dear Chris,

Why are homosexual women morally superior to homosexual men? If it is because of the [[Wikipedia:Book of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]], would you also support the exile of a couple who have sexual relations while the woman is menstruating? (Leviticus 20:18) Does [[Cwcville]] have sex laws? How are these laws enforced?

Yours, Caitlin}}
{{EmailReply|Cwcville has sex laws; the age of consent is 18, and NO GAY SEX IS ALLOWED WHATSOEVER. These laws are enforced by constant psychic-surveillance by [[Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. Should anyone go against these laws, Magi-Chan would know, inform the Police, arrest the individuals, tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service to ANY Sexual Violations; over-18 having sex with under-18, and Any homosexual relations. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Lies and damned lies===
{{Email|From: Zoie Klaus <gatsbysdeaddream@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Why don't you ever offer well-thought out answers to the questions you are asked? It seems that people put a lot of effort into their questions, but you only spend a minute (or less) answering each. Do you really think that's fair to your fans? It's not like you're very busy or anything, or have thousands of questions to answer. Don't you think you owe your fans a little bit more?

-Zoie}}
{{EmailReply|I give each letter over 2 minutes of reading, re-reading and thought. Should a letter perplex me heavily, I would give an acceptable reply, granted it being short. But mostly, I go detailed.}}

===In which Chris crosses yet another line===
{{Email|From: Frank Marks <marksizm15@yahoo.com>

What if the girl(or guy) you want to take your virginity doesn't want to be videotaped? Not everyone goes for that. And you seem to be more concerned with proving that you're straight than the pleasure you would get from having sex. And you didn't answer that one guy's question about asexual people.

Frank Marks}}
{{EmailReply|I would use Hidden Cameras and blur out her face. It is very important to me, because I am SICK and TIRED of the Wrongest Mislabelings those damn people dare refer to me and my comics and characters. WE ARE STRAIGHT!!!! I have no objections with [[The Wallflower|asexual]], but I do feel pity for those individuals.}}
''The earlier question about asexuality can be found [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|here]]. Chris altered it the night these answers went up, copy-pasting the answer found here.''

===Fqx news===
{{Email|From: Jorge Lopez <fuzziwuzzi80@yahoo.com>
In [[Mailbag 28]], you say you respected Bush because "he made some good decisions." Please elaborate on this. What decisions did he make that you thought were good (and why were they good, in your opinion)?}}
{{EmailReply|[[Wikipedia:Bush tax cuts|His Tax Cut program]] was a good idea; [[Monthly tugboat|more money for us locals]]. His No Child Left Behind plan was good too; no child left [[Honor roll|Uneducated]]. And he [[Chris and English|helped the Medicare very well]]. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris apparently doesn't understand that cutting taxes only benefits those who actually have a job and an income, and makes less money available for his [[tugboat]].''

===Return of the king===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]] <king.stephen@windowslive.com>
I never wrote a novel called Vertigo. I did write the other novels you mentioned, though. But those were a long time ago. I used to be famous once - not anymore though. My novels don't sell a tenth of the copies they used to. Can't you see that I am desperate? I used to [[Alcohol|drink]] and [[Yawning Squirtle|do drugs]] when I couldn't write. This helped me in the 80s, but I won't do that anymore. I feel like my head is going blank, like there's an empty area where my creativity used to be.

Even in the best of times, I was never the greatest writer in the world. You are not the best either. But AT LEAST you have the passion and raw potential. And creativity. I just... don't seem to have that anymore. Funny. I never knew it was there until it was gone. Ideas just used to come to me, you know? Now, no matter how hard I try... nothing. Nothing comes out. I stare at the blank screen for HOURS, and I don't get a single idea. I spend more and more time on the [[internet]]. One day, I stumbled upon your site. It was something new and refreshing. I saw that you upload a new page EVERY DAY. I was amazed at such efficiency. You don't know how lucky you are to have so many ideas.

I asked you for help, but you gave me skepticism. I shouldn't be surprised though. This has happened to me before. Some time ago, I went into a book store in Australia unannounced, and started signing some of my books. The people there thought I was a VANDAL.

Here's a link on the incident: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/08/16/2006725.htm

I hope you see that I am the true and honest (as you say) Stephen King.

God bless, and I wish you all the best.

Stephen Edwin King.}}
''Chris added a reply template to this letter, but failed to actually answer it.''

===Patti dug herself up===
{{Email|From: takemybythehand2@aol.com

So is [[Patti]] a ghost or a zombie in the comic? because she's dead, yet she's still talking to people, so is she a ghost or zombie?}}
{{EmailReply|She is Neither; [[Chris and death|she is alive and well]] in Cwcville, VA.}}

===Chris tackles the hard issues===
{{Email|From: jackleapps@aol.com

What's your stance on the immigration issues in America?}}
{{EmailReply|We are all immigrants from when [[Daniel Weston|the settlers]] first came into what would be the [[United States of America]]; I feel the issues are unrequited [[stress]]ors that we simply do not need at all to fret over.}}
==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris hypothetically murders someone===
{{Email|From: J D <jdrexcess@gmail.com>

Hi Chris, I'm a big fan of your work, and I share your views on homosexuality-- a topic which seems to pop up frequently in the mailbag.

A friend of mine recently posed me a moral question, which I thought was pretty interesting: If you could save the life of a person you didn't know by having gay sex, would you do it? It's an interesting moral dilemma. Personally, I couldn't think of anything more repulsive in the world than having gay sex, but to save the life of a random person, I might actually do it. But I haven't quite made up my mind. How would you respond to this question? Would you have gay sex to save someone's life? Of course, this is a hypothetical situation and would probably never happen in real life, but I'm curious as to how you'd deal with it?

JD}}
{{EmailReply|UGH!!! I would find a way to Trick the other and work around to save the person. NO GAY SEX!!!!!!!!!}}

===Chris does not atone===
{{Email|From: creampie4sonichu@aol.com

hello mr chandler my is [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VII|rufus shinra]] and me and me fellow gay associates find sonicu to be a BIG testament to the gay community. We just love the way you lace each of your comics with gay tributes and etc. One thing that we really love is how you protray [[sonichu]] as a man struggling with his sexuality. On the outside he is "happily" married to [[rosechu]] but on the inside he is ready to come out. We have already figure out sonichus secret gay lover is [[Magi-Chan|magichan sonichu]] i mean magichan is purple (one of us gays most fabolous colors) he has no woman and he is [[Autism|mysterious]]. we can wait till you make sonichu and magichan and offical couple on your pages. Oh yeah me and my friend would like to invite you and another person to our gay club where we are going to have a sonichu theme party. We are going to pay your way here cause it would be a honor to have the man who made sonichu to be here. Who knows you might just find your significant other at this party. Once again thanks for makin sonichu for us gays to enjoy. }}
{{EmailReply|YOU ARE IN MAJOR ERROR!!! SONICHU IS STRAIGHT!!! AND MY COMIC SERIES IS A STRAIGHT COMIC SERIES!!! I DO NOT ATONE TO YOUR LETTER AND YOUR MISTAKEN EMOTIONS AT ALL!!!
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:08, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===God and Jesus have not yet told Chris to give it a rest===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Aliens (film)|Trevor Wierzbowski]] <silentbughunters@yahoo.co.uk>

What the hell is with the whole idea of brainwashing homosexuals into being straight? It isn't a choice for them, it's not like they woke up one morning and said "You know what? I feel like bumming a fellow male today and see if I like it!" It's who they are and they can't help that! The whole idea of forcing them into something they are not is just wrong! It would be like if someone rounded up everyone who had any form of autism and put them into a mental institution. What gives you the right to change other people into something they aren't?

The hell is wrong with you?

-Trevor

P.S. You didn't bother answering the part of my previous email which asked you what you would think [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] would think of [[Kill De Jack|your death threat]] to [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].}}{{EmailReply|I do not personally have the right, but I highly encourage Other People who are able to do that to do that to their fullest power. I have received no opinion on that video from God or Jesus as far as I know.}}

===Asperchu is the shit===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

Christian,

Thank you for accepting myself as a fellow Titan in the ranks of comic drawing! It is good to know that I have reached the top rank. I am currently in talks with the fellows on the Cartoon Network to possibly do a series of ASPERCHU-based short cartoons (3-5 minutes) that will air during their [[Adult Swim]] Broadcast; telling them that you have given me the Blessing as a Professional [[Art]]ist will speed up the talks most certainly. Thank you as well for providing such a detailed answer to my question. I confess that You have confused me greatly. You say several things that make me wonder what it is you mean, and I would like if you can clarify.

For example, You say the sentence "[[Aspergers]] supposed being similar to Autism, which although I have accepted that, I still disagree heavily on it being even ASSOCIATED with Autism as a type. Aspergers is NOT a Type Of Autism Whatsoever." Now, in the first part of that sentence, you say that you have accepted that the Aspergers is similar to the Autism, but in the next several words you say that Aspergers is NOT related to Autism. Your sentence has two parts, which each contradict the other.

In another part of your response, You say that "I accept no relation between [Asperchu] and my works and characters, and with that I stand behind my statement of and labeling of Asperchu as a Parody." Now, this confuses me because a parody by definition is RELATED to its parent work, as parody is a deliberate imitation of the work on which it is based, yet you say that my ASPERCHU is not at all related to your Sonichu. That is true - My ASPERCHU is in fact my own ORIGINAL creation and not in any way related to your Sonichu. But then only several words after admitting this, you say that you stand behind your belief that ASPERCHU is a [[parody]] of Sonichu. I do believe that perhaps you do not have the good understanding of just what a Parody really is, and my attempt to show you through drawing an actual parody page has failed.

Please clarify both of these statements, Christian, as as they are now it seems you are trying to have two outcomes that are the Mutually Exclusive be true in each one of them, which of course is not possible. Either Aspergers is related to Autism or it is not (IT IS), and Either ASPERCHU is a Parody of Sonichu or it's not (it is NOT).

Also, I do have one last point to query about. You remark that I have made ASPERCHU into a "blatant homosexual male with such drawings of such dictation". I am confused by this, as I have NEVER drawn ASPERCHU to be making any dictations (by which I mean speaking, as that is the definition of the word) about being a homosexual; in fact throughout the Issues of the Comic he has pursued several [[Gal-pal|GAL-PALS]] to make into a SWEETHEART, which is the heterosexual thing to be doing. In fact, you should read the conclusion of the latest Issue, as he does in fact acquire a [[sweetheart]], the wonderful, caring, sweetest Dixie Chu. Perhaps your critical eye sees something in my Creation that I Myself did not notice putting in there, but to me ASPERCHU has always been a beacon of Heterosexual Virility and Pride. Conversely, you have yourself drawn Sonichu as being of the Homogay persuasion quite frequently, such as whenever Sonichu has intimations with his Boyfriend Rosechu, and also the Most Blatant Example is when you drew that Graphically Hardcore honeymoon comic where you had Sonichu turn blue and make sweet passionate love to that redheaded fellow.

So please, be so kind as to explain these quandaries to a wondering mind such as mine.

Your Protege and Bestest Joy-Boy,

Alec Benson Leary}}
[[Image:AsperchuNoHomo.JPG|thumb|The drawing Chris refers to.]]
{{EmailReply|I have NEVER given you such an Outrageous Blessing to work with Adult Swim. DO NOT DO IT, PERIOD! I was saying that the two, Autism and Aspergers, have Similar Characteristics, but the two are NOT Linked to each other At All and Whatsoever. By the Relation link comment, I meant that I wanted nothing to do with Asperchu. And IT IS A GOD DAMN PARODY; You draw a Look-Alike Sonichu Character with a Look-Alike Sonichu Medallion, and you DRAW your character with a Striped Shirt like the one I draw myself in often, and you draw him with FATTNESS and MANBOOBS!!!! I FIND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT OFFENSIVE AS THEY ARE MOCKERIES TO MY OWN PERSON AND CHARACTERS. AND What about THIS DRAWING?

YOU Personally Submitted this drawing, which the original letter FROM YOU is in the [[Rejected Mailbag#Parodies|Parodies]] Mailbag, and EVERYTHING WITHIN THIS GOD DAMN DRAWING ONLY MAKES YOUR ASPERCHU A GOD DAMN BLATANT HOMOSEXUAL.

You are STILL SO GOD DAMN HOMOSEXUALLY STUPID!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Talk:Mailbag 31

2011-10-16T02:46:01Z

Thatguy: Messed up email.

Talk:Mailbag 31

2011-10-16T02:45:50Z

Thatguy: Messed up email.

Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia

2011-07-20T15:42:12Z

Thatguy: /* Aftermath */

Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia was a faux forum established in late [[April 2011]] in an attempt to lure [[Chris]] into an online community of [[Tomgirl|tomgirls]]; a [[Trollin' Train]] 2.0 of sorts. However this proved to be far more bountiful in that unlike Trollin' Train (where Chris was making up stories under a false persona), Chris was posting as himself under the alias "Kookydashy". This resulted in several stories of his exploits as a tomgirl that, to say the least, made the effort more than worth it. Chris posted on and off, trying his best to conceal his identity in the most obvious way possible. Below are his T&ToV posts, with blue representing Chris' posts and red representing posts in the threads he was responding to.

== Posts ==

===Re: Introductions!===

In which Chris openly announces he is Christian Weston Chandler as much as he can without actually saying it.

{{quotebox|Hello, fellow tomgirls. :)

Y'all may address me by my screen name in the board talk. I like music, makeup, [[homos|dressin' up]] in my mini, havin' fun 'n hangin' with my [[gal-pals|girlfriends]], karaoke, video games, crafting and art.

I am also empathetic, so [[Autism|I can understand others people's feelings]], as well as my own. I am a dynamic, [[Lie|complex]] individual.

I do not have many [[jerks|dude]] pals, because I have my own mental hang-ups against the majority of them; Nothing Personal. I have a history of being bullied by some mean brutes, as well as homosexuals, over the internet. Cyber-Bullies/[[Trolls]]/Anons are a hot button with me. I prefer not to discuss that issue further.

And I am an all-around good, friendly, honest, heterosexual tomgirl.

Thank you all for offering me respect, as I respect each of you and your opinions on the board.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2&p=157#p157]</ref>}}

<references/>

===Re: Coming out to my parents===

In this thread, Chris opened up about his parents' feelings in regards to his newfound fetish.

{{quotebox|Y'all are singin' my song; my [[Barb|mom]] and [[Bob|dad]] were shocked bad when I told them I was a tomgirl. Soo Literally old-fasioned (they're both [[Chris and English|seinors]]). My mom said "I didn't raise a daughter", and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me.

I will Always be Straight, Mom and Dad; give me some faith and trust.

What a world with outside influances to put great paranoia in our families.

Also, try looking up "tomgirl" on Wikipedia; it redirects to "effeminancy". While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page is against us, due to it addressing the homos.

Someone needs to undo the redirects, edit the grammer errors in "tomgirl"`s original edit, and add a ton more detail to it.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3&p=160#p160]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|My mom is still giving me complaints and nit-picks about me wearing my feminine attire. I wish I could just up and move out and not have to deal with my family; I don't know too many other people here in C-Ville, and those I do know I'm only acquainted with or know little about them for only a few weeks.

Plus finding employment is hard. I got a fancy computer degree from [[PVCC|community college]], and there have been very slim pickings from it. Already Taken; Quota's Filled; yada, yada, yada.

Plus also, she keeps throwing disbelief towards us by stating "Tomgirls aren't real"; SHE'S a Tomboy; what a bunch of 1940's old-fashioned crap. Plus she watches too much current news, and she is soo paranoid and shit.

I wish I could afford to move out, but I can't afford it financially, mentally and emotionally. Fucking [[stress|pisses me off.]]|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3&start=20]</ref>}}

===Re: Girly Things Tee Hee===

By this point it was pretty much agreed upon that T&ToV was a huge success, see below.

{{quotebox|After I realized my tomgirly ways, and starting dressing up in my skirts, I started feeling discomfort in using the Men's restroom. I asked my closest gal pal if it would be going too far in using the Ladies' room; she told me to go with my feelings. My next skirted outting, I used the ladies' room, and I squatted, holding my [[duck|arrow]] down over the john (so I would be less likely to soil my skirt); it felt good and Right. Days later, though, after 4 more lady trips; a woman complains and tattles on me, and a stereotypical [[jerk|Brute male]] shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me.

Heck, I would not hold it against a tomboy who felt more comfort in using the Men's room over the Ladies'.

As truest Tomgirls, we do respect greatly the women as equals. [[lie|I would never look]] or anything of the sort.

Open for your thoughts.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|I've recently got into the original Squinkies, they are so cute and cool. And their gumball-machine dispensing playsets are neat. I like the cupcake-shaped one. And they're also coming out with Squinkie cars for Hot Wheels and Cars 2; little Squinkie people now have cool wheels to drive.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&start=10]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|Something else girly I enjoy danglin' around where I go is my ankle bracelet. It's a silver chain with sections of 4 silver beads, and I've added three stars on chains onto the hook. I never take it off, because it is an awesome and cute jewelry, plus it is difficult to put it back on. LOL

I also am enjoying the "Mighty Milky Way" DSiWare game on my 3DS. Luna is a cute, sexy gal, and the method of guiding her from planet to planet is neat.

Anyone else on here with a 3DS may add me onto y'all's Friend List with my code, 2836-0121-9073. Please P.M. me with your 3DS F.C. in response if y'all add me.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=382#p382]</ref>}}

===Re: Homosexuals===

{{quotebox|I do not care much for the [[homosexual]] males either. I mean, I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways and such, it's like they're shoving it in your face. Plus, most of the Cyber-Bullies who gave me grief were homos [[Jack Thaddeus|themselves]], placing their damn label onto me wrongfully.

As long as they each keep it to themselves and behind closed doors, I won't bother them.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162]</ref>}}

===Re: July Meetup===

{{quoteboxred|
'''by DanielleTheRiveter » Sun May 29, 2011 9:58 pm'''

That's right, everyone. It's that time again. Time to plan our big meet up for July. We're currently looking to meet up somewhere that's kinda central and should be easy for everyone.

First off, remember to dress your best. I'm going to wear my old dress uniform like normal but if you'd like to give us a sneak peak of your outfit, please feel free to do so here.

Also, any suggestions for Date / Time / Location is welcome.

Looking forward to seeing everyone there!|DanielleTheRiveter<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&p=229#p229]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|How about at the Applebees next to Toys 'R' Us on Branchlands Lane on a Monday; at 9 PM, they have Karaokee night there. Meet and greet first and sing-along after.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&p=229#p229]</ref>}}

===Re: FUKKEN HATERSSSssssssssss===

In which Chris fantasizes about an unrealistic encounter with a "hater", then throws in some unintelligible [[Random-access humor|RAH]].

{{quotebox|I would generally ignore the haters' hurtful comments and move forward too. But if they are really in my face calling me gay or telling me [[virgin|I won't be geeting a woman]], I would tell them like it is in my miniskirt, "All I have to do is lift up my skirt and I'll be up your woman's biz in seconds." :)|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=32&p=291#p291]</ref>}}

===Re: What part of Virginia are you from?===

{{quotebox|Charlottesville is my city of stompin' ground; it can stand some improvement, though. More excitement, and maybe a strip club or two. LOL.

I've also resided in Midlothian for my Middle and High School years.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=35&p=292#p292]</ref>}}

===Re: 10 interesting facts about you!===

Unsurprisingly the most bland, useless information is considered by Chris to be an "interesting fact"

{{quotebox|[[Autism|1.]] I like to take my time to think of how I feel about the current topic, as well as responding in discussion.

[[Lie|2.]] I am empathetic.

[[Fat|3.]] I appreciate how the fast food places wised up and started offering apple slices as a healthier option after decades of fried potatoes.

[[Trolls|4.]] With my history of being trolled and online coomunicating, I feel online socializing only makes people more autistic-like. People need to wise up and go back to feeling comfortable socializing in person.

[[Cwcsicle|5.]] I have sassy, fun ideas sometimes.

[[Sonichu|6.]] I am good at hand-drawing, coloring and story creating.

[[Manchester High School|7.]] I have had happy years in High School.

[[Autism|8.]] I try to be cautious of other people's intentions and feelings while communicating and coping with them.

[[Lie|9.]] I am technologically and musically inclined.

[[Chris and Art|10.]] I enjoy tinkering and creating when I feel inspired.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=34&p=293#p293]</ref>}}

===Re: tomboy looking 4 tomgirl===

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Sun May 29, 2011 2:44 am'''

hello my name is suchin and i am originally from thailand. my friends call me william or will because i am rowdy and like to have fun i am looking for tomgirl to treat me right. i work in manicure salon now and i love beauty on my men and dirt on me

[[Image:Suchin.jpg]]

this is me. what is you? lets meet up and exchange details. i am from richmond but will be in charlottesville for the 4th of july. i love freedom now too.
your turn now! fi dorrar. sacki aur bunti. PLEASE send me a message!|William<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|There is a pretty face, lovely head of hair and a nice rack in the photo. But I feel I have to interject here.

How do we know you are really that woman, or are you really some immature, trolling stupid brat trying to stir trouble on our forum? People have done that sort of thing over the internet; I fell victim to communicating with such people. And from that, I have learned to keep most personal things offline and to myself.

Anyway, I am not going to fall for such an obvious facade, and I wish to prevent anyone else from finding such gross disappointment and disaster.

Fess up, man.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:27 am '''

Hey I'm going to be down in Richmond tomorrow anyway, I think you're pretty cute so I'd like to meet up if possible.

I understand if this is kind of sudden, but when I saw that picture I just knew I had to meet this woman.|Tippy<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:33 am'''

kookydashy your comment make me so sad? i work so hard on my body to be my tomboy self and i am so tired of others putting me down for me being me. sometimes i think it because they jealous but for you to accuse me of being troll, someting i hate most in whole american world, make me cry some. this remind me of my sister telling me i cannot wear pants because i am woman. i can wear pants AND NOT BE MAN OR UGLY!!!!

as for Tippy, you sound so nice. I would love to meet a creature like you in reality world! i would even love to do your hair and nails and so much more... I am excite now! Yes! Please! I get out of work at around six. Can we do drinkies than??
|William<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:38 am'''

OMG that's perfect, I'm supposed to have an early dinner meeting with a supplier, so I will be free right around six. I'll private message you my cell number and other info so we can exchange our numbers and stuff. I am so excited, I cannot wait. I will be counting down the hours till we meet up my Tomboy dream. We'll have drinks, and maybe dessert ;). Hehehehe|Tippy<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:44 am'''

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sawatdee kaa!! <3 You are true lady AND gentleman! I will call you tonight to confirm our time together with one another for tomorrow! You have dried every tear of mine so quick and make me smile bright bright bright... I cannot wait to smile more with you! xx|William<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:00 pm'''

Hey everyone, I have a major update.

So after my meeting with the supplier, who I sweet talked into giving me a discounted rate, I met up with Suchin for drinks. Let me just say Tomboys and Tomgirls, the photos do not do her justice, she looks absolutely incredible. She gave me some great tips on keeping my pedicures lasting longer, we talked about every subject imaginable, and I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, but I am totally crushing on her right now, and cannot wait to see her again. The drive home from Richmond felt like nothing because of how happy I am right now.

Plus I'll always have this picture to remember our incredible night by.

[[Image:Suchin 2.jpg]]
|Tippy<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:33 pm'''

Yes, it very true ! Tippy you steal my heart and not ever let go! I am happy this way. I love sharing all my pretty lingerie with Tippy and I teach my new Tomgirl how to do Thai lap dance. We are so sensual and one. Tippy and I are item now!! NO TOUCHING! Thank you TBS and TGS of Virgina! <3 xoxo|William<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:40 pm'''

Suchin, you catty gal, I thought you were gonna let me announce to the forum that we were an item. It's ok, I still love you. And I can't wait until the next time we're together so I can give you that massage while you play your video games. I've never felt this happy, like this may be the greatest day of my entire life. I've met a lot of girls in my life, but Suchin, you are my woman, my strong, masculine, tomboy woman. I can't wait to see you next weekend, I've already talked to my boss, and I'm getting Friday off so we can spend the whole day together.

I never thought I'd be able to find love on an internet forum, and here we are, happy as can be. Thank you Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virgina, I hope the rest of you find your Tomboys and Tomgirls soon.
|Tippy<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|It looks like I stand corrected of my suspicions. But with my past experiences, and the too great number of crazy people in the world, we all have to be very cautious. And with that, I apologize for my earlier post and hurting your feelings, Suchin.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

===Re: Manicure/Pedicure stories?===

{{quotebox|I have colored my nails before, and it is fun to do for a grand outting.

I feel it ill for me to go in for a manicure, not only due to lack of funds, but I am a recovering nail-biter. I even had to have a fingernail replaced in surgery years ago; it is growing in well, even though slower than the other nine.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37&p=312#p312]</ref>}}

===Re: Mothers===

{{quotebox|My mother has tried to coerce me into going back to briefs; Hells No! Panties are far more comfortable And stylish. And I am not going to ever go out without one of my sports bras again. She even tried to bribe, or wager, me, but I would not take it.

I feel there should be a law requiring all men to wear bras (sports ones at least); I feel grossed out whenever I see some dude walking sround shirtless. ]:(P|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref>}}

===Re: Friendship Issues===

{{quotebox|I'd like to talk a bit about those of us (well, me in particular) who have for real only less than or equal to a handful of friends in person.

Growing up, I have had mostly female friends. I was considerably blessed, yet I still lack the virgin-breaker moment. The close friendships were great, and I really appreciated them in my heart forever. I really should have tried to get further, but before 21, I was naive on the subject of dating. There Really should be a manditory dating education class alongside sex ed.

I have known all of my life that I do get along better with women well over those of my own gender. No personal offense to anyone.

I have a mental flaw, along with other learnings, which has taught me that most of the worldwide male poulation are, pretty much, Uncaring, Violent, Ignorant, Dumb, Boring Jerks. And with that, I feel afraid in meeting most males, because I feel ill of getting too close, because of me getting hurt, or something else god-awful. ]:(

Again, no personal offense is meant to anyone.

My gal pal has informed me that me meeting more women and getting it on is very unlikely if I do not have many dude pals. Nutshell; I would be mistaken for a homo, or too easily friend-zoned by women. This tid bit makes me feel sad.

Open for individual responses from Everyone on this forum.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by BornThisWay » Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:24 am'''

Aww, that sux!!!! Anyway I met most of my friends back in high school, or college, or at my past jobs. Sometimes it's hard to keep in touch with everybody but that's why the Internet and phones were invented! A lot of the friends I hang out with now were from my last job. We'd go out for drinks every Thursday, Friday and Saturday and have the grandest of times! Sometimes I still meet up with them, but not every week like I used to.

As for meeting people, I've never really thought about it because I'm not a really shy person. I guess if you strike up conversations based on stuff you like or stuff you notice about them, that's a good start. It's real easy to sit in your room all day and play video games but you just have to talk to people and get out there. Sometimes I'll just go out all by myself and sit someplace nice and quiet and read. If you look cute sometimes people come up and introduce themselves!

But anyway if you haven't done it already you should get on Facebook and try to find your old friends and tell them what you've been up to since you've last seen them! It's a really easy way to keep in touch with people especially since a lot of people move away right after high school or college. Facebook is like a high school reunion that never ends! (Sorry if I sound like a commercial!) Plus if there's anyone who still lives in Virginia maybe they can introduce you to some of their single friends! Just be yourself and let us know what they say, ok?|BornThisWay<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|"Social" websites like Facebook and MySpace are ALL a Joke against socializing. Everybody is on the internet these days. And to Socialize online with total strangers Constantly is an epic fail. That kind of "socializing" on the internet will only result in making people more and more Autistic-Like. Think about it.

The more time we spend in front of an internet screen leads to constant lack of practice in REAL Socializing face to face offline.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Mike Love » Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:23 am'''

I like Facebook. There's a lot of people I don't nescesarilly talk to a lot, but I like to be able to keep up with what they're doing. Plus it makes it easier to keep track of people's phone numbers. Plus, I know a lot of cute girls, and I like to look at their photos a lot and get ideas on new outfits to wear.
|Mike Love<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|Just a gosh-darn minute. People Pretend to be Other People online, even Computers have been Programmed to pretend to be People to tease and get personal information from you. And Trolls/Cyber-Bullies Hack into YOUR Facebook and MySpace, rearranging, smearing, soiling with pornographic, most horrible images from the darkest regions of the internet. And they create wiki sites and pages of Hate against you soo horrible that Googling your own name results in MILLIONS of hate-filled results.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

''Note: Almost all google searches for variations of Chris-Chan (Christian Weston Chandler, CWC, Chris Chandler, etc.) consist mostly of pages mentioning other people such as Chris Chan Lee, people with the name Christian, Christianity, acronyms for companies, and other miscellaneous results. The actual ammount of hate-filled results probably ranges in the tens of thousands, not the millions. A ten second examination of the results would easily prove this but Chris has [[PS3|more important]] things to do.''

{{quoteboxred|'''by BornThisWay » Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:53 pm'''

Like I said, it's really, really sad that you're putting your fears in the way of getting in touch with your old friends and establishing new friendships. I'll bet your old friends think about you sometimes and miss you. And like it or not, people use social networking sites to contact people they know in real life to do things in real life. This is the way things are now.

I don't get how somebody who has enough courage to dress up in women's clothing and walk around in public and use the girl's bathroom can be so afraid of somebody making fun of them on the internet. I mean, who would even know who your old friends are? Why would somebody go through the trouble of impersonating them? And wouldn't you like, be able to figure out if it was somebody pretending to be them? I mean their Facebook profile would link back to all their friends and most of their family members. They'd not only have to fool you, but their parents and relatives, who have known them since they were born. Like, if somebody tried to set up a phony profile and pretended to be me just to hate on me, everybody would know that something was off.

So like, you've though about one bad thing that could happen if you tried to look up old friends on Facebook, and just assumed that it will happen. And you said you're afraid of getting to close to males in real life, because you think something bad might happen. It's really easy to worry and make up excuses about why you can't do things, but just know that if you do that anxiety is going to rule your life.

Like I said you believe in yourself enough to admit that you're a Tomgirl and get out there and strut your stuff. Some Tomgirls don't even get that far! Think about how much you've already accomplished before deciding what you can and can't do. You're your own boss and I can't make you do anything, I'm just saying your life would be a lot less lonely if you were open to looking up the old friends you've fallen out of touch with over the years.|BornThisWay<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:31 am'''

Maybe I've just been lucky and haven't met anyone who has lied to me online. I use facebook to keep in contact with the people I'm close to, they've made it so easy to keep track of my friends, why wouldn't I take advantage of it. As far as having problems with meeting anyone online. I met Suchin here on the forum, and I had no trouble meeting up with her. There are always going to be assholes out there Kooky, but you can show them that they are just haters and you aren't going to listen to them.
|Tippy<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Thoria » Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:34 am'''
I just use FB in private mode, that way haters can't see what I'm doing and I only have my closest friends on there.
|Thoria<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

At this point Chris loses all self-control and does everything short of posting "I am Christian Weston Chandler, I am famous on the internet and trolls pick on me".

{{quotebox|It's not just THOUGHT, but it HAS happened to me before for real. And if you don't believe, take for example the author of the comic book series featuring that yellow, electric hedgehog... Sonichu, if I remember correctly.

Before a time, the author had a clean history, then Cyber-Bullies and Trolls attacked him greatly; now Googling his name will result in over a million results of hate and name soiling. Especially from the blackmail and deceptions he had to endure.

I, myself, had a page on Facebook. Things were good for me a while. Then I was attacked in 2005 by the Trolls. They pretended to be my closest friends; they got a number of incriminating photos and details from me. They also hacked into my Facebook. It took me over a week before I was able to reset my password and e-mail address. And upon reflection, I closed my Facebook account and left the online socializing for years. It is real, and they are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.|Chris<>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

==Aftermath==

Chris stopped posting on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia shortly after his outburst. After a month of inactivity it was decided this information would be made freely available. T&ToV is highly regarded as a complete success, and much of the later content is considered a bonus. Chris once again proved he is completely naïve and gullible.

==See Also==
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]]
*[[Trollin' Train]]
*[[Sonichu Girls]]

==Links==
* http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/ - Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia
* http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=95 - Chris's profile

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Template:DYK

2011-04-29T04:30:31Z

Thatguy: Adding the Tomgirl fact, if you don't mind.

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|10=
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
|11=
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wants you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
|12=
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [[Wikipedia:Apple_core|children's game]]?
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
|13=
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lovers dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad is not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that the American government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
|14=
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG Gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
|15=
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] prefers [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] had [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|16=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because [[fail|he didn't get one]]?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|convicted in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that [[Wild Sonichu]] is a noted Sit 'n Spin player?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris_and_rape#Chris as a rapist|would probably rape a woman]] if he wasn't so [[obesity|fat]] and lazy?
|17=
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that Chris is stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
|18=
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dream]]s?
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
|19=
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
|20=
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believes [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's [[fail]] is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl?]]
}}

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Jackie E-mails 12

2011-04-26T02:44:23Z

Thatguy:

This page lists emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 31 [[August 2010]] to 2 [[September 2010]].

Chris makes up excuses for not drawing the [[pickle]]s Jackie wanted, answers a series of questions that Jackie demanded answers to in the previous e-mail:

#Chris lies, lives in denial.
#'The old data was lonely. Remaking the same save states while you're my [[sweetheart]] makes it better'
#Chris did not deliberately [[lie]] to his parents; he regular lied.
#Chris lies, lives in denial. Says he values the [[Honest Content|HONEST and TRUE]] [[fans]] and [[sweethearts]] that died for him (no mention of [[Ryan Cash|Clyde's late brother]]).
#Chris lies, claims to understand metaphors (such as satire). Chris thinks he can demand $80 for a [[Wikipedia:Sega Megadrive|Sega Genesis]].

Again, Jackie points out that Chris drew his fantasy, and had no intention of fulfilling hers, and godamnit, I'm repeating myself, why'd I decide to do this...

Jackie interprets Chris's five answers; in a relationship, how your actions are interpreted are important, on similar levels as the actual motivation. Chris is a failure on both columns.

His plan for raising money for [[Wikipedia:Otakon|Otakon]] was as follows: 'sell games for store credit, scam his parents for $200, buy a new [[PS3]]: the world is in it's rightful state.' Offers to forgo [[List of Chris's games|video games]] only if she opens her [[china]] to him constantly for a month, 24/7, or face a $50 penalty. aka 'Be a cheap whore for me, I'm not paying $100 for a prostitute.'

Jackie calls bullshit. Gives a heartfelt speech about how Chris's lack of effort/maturity is bad for their relationship, what he could do to prove himself to her, points out that he put so much effort into getting a new PS3 when he could have got a round-trip bus ticket to see Jackie, and still have plenty of change for a nice dinner at a proper restaurant for the same price.

Chris ignores that, worries momentarily about [[Patti]]'s remains. Chris's habitual purchases also include buying lottery tickets. These things are important.

{{EmailReply|August 31, 2010 - 6:29pm

The Drawing; I've just told you; that one with you and me in a Pool of water in the Hot Tub with Men and Women Jerking around us in a Circle IS the final version. You can barely see anyone [[Mass Debating|jerking off]] IN COMFORT while they're in the water; it is better done, and drawn, OUT of the water. And it is [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Uncensored]]; I can't help it if sometimes men cover the Tip of their [[Pickle|dicks]] with their own hands while masturbating.

*[[sigh]]*

I'm just tired after a long day out. No [[pickle]]-breasted woman showed up during the whole Hour I was there; from 1:30 to 2:30. I've just e-mailed [[Tito]] to be more direct; send the agent with the Cash directly to my house; I wait for his response.

I Meant what I had said in the Freedom from the addictions, AND the loneliness put into the Data that was in the [[PS3]] before the Memory Wipeout. And I meant it when my actions in destroying the console were releasing that same past Me from my life.

On the other hand, between [[Clyde]] and Tito asking for MORE evidence above [[Solid Chris|SOLID]] evidence that I've destroyed that console in [[Moving Forward]] with my life, and Frustrating me in doing More and More Destruction after the release of the Past Me, and the sense of Moving Forward in the past destruction... I detest NOT being believed in for the God Blessed [[Honest]] Truth and Emotions I've been going through the past weekend.

And now, with the chase I'm going through to get the Reward Money for You And Me in Our Future and paying off my debt to [[Bob|my father]], the emotions that remain True, I Swear to [[God]], as from the past weekend, it just frustrates me that I'm not getting the compensation that I have earned from Showing Them I Am and Have Moved Forward from the Addiction...

*sigh*

My mind is [[Autism|befuddled]].

To answer your questions.

1. I was not lying to you; I can live without [[PS3|the console]]. The only influence that has made an impression of a change is the chase for the cash reward, making me seek the "Plan B" to make even an inkling of that reward for myself.

2. As I have told you, a lot of the data is recoverable (more or less), and I did not say getting a new one would make up for the old memories; I meant that getting the replacement will create NEW memories of [[XBox is OK.MOV|the more positive Me]] that has come around since you returned to me. Another way I can put it; the Old data was lonely from not having someone to share it with; now I have you and our future to create the new memories with on there. I may or may not be making sense, but it is the honest truth from my [[heart]].

3. No, I did not deliberately lie to my parents to get a new PS3 from them. I lied to them, because if they knew the PS3 was still functional Before I destroyed it, they would feel MORE devastated and distrustful of me. I would rather they think it was a Lost Cause before the destruction.

Think of it this way, Hypothetically, [[Women's rights|let's say you had a dress that still looked great on you]] (maybe a Favorite Dress), but it was something from Last Decade and out of current fashion. Your friends tell you to burn the dress. Then you burn the dress from your friends' suggestion. You end up telling your parents of the event, but you lie about it by saying that the dress did not fit anymore; it was torn up in more ways than one and you could not fix it after trying vigorously again and again; you burn it for the views and opinions of your friends, leaving your parents thinking it was a Lost Cause anyway.

4. No, I have not been lying to my parents of [[Troll]] influence. [[Naive|I honestly feel that I have more control over myself than the trolls would]]. It is the ideas my mother and father have had in opinion of me after my Past mistakes of making the [[List of videos|terrible videos of myself]], [[Tour of Chris's House|the house tour]], [[Nudes|self-nudity]], [[For My Sweetest Ivy|etc]]. from either [[Chris humps his PS3|blackmail]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|requests from my ex-girlfriends]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|etc]].

And with that, I was very distraught after the deaths of my [[PandaHalo|past]] [[Ivy|girlfriends]]; it would haunt me for Weeks to Months before I would move forward. This also includes after [[Julie Reveals Herself|learning]] that the "Girlfriend" was actually a Troll the whole time, such as "[[Julie]]", but with those individuals, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|I recover more quickly]], because Liars and Fakes don't get as much sympathy or sadness as the [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Real, Honest People who actually have died or left me]].

5. I did not say that; Seeing you is more important to me than any video game, regardless of time or money spent on it.

And I did not mean to imply that the PS3 was an "old friend" that I've "murdered"; when I said all that, I was speaking Metaphorically.

Also, earlier today, out of frustration, and further moving forward from the addiction, I pawned off my [[Nintendo]] 64 AND all of the [[games]] and accessories. I would have also pawned off my Genesis/Sega CD/32X, but the color output was wonkey; the pawner passed on it and all of the software with it. Anyway, I got $40 for the N64 and its stuff. I'm thinking of going onto Craigslist with my Upgraded Genesis with the software bunch, or seeing if I can find someone who's hosting a yard sale in the Community Yard Sale to sell it all for me (no haggling; the price would be set for $80).

I got to go eat something for dinner, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=August 31, 2010 - 7:08pm

Chris, I asked for my drawing to be of us in a pool with a bunch of guys jerking off all around us. You drew one guy and a bunch of women. So you didn't draw my drawing, you drew something you wanted to draw instead. And begging your pardon, but I don't see why you "can't help" what the people in the drawing look like when you are the one drawing it.

[[Sigh]]...

You say you meant it when you said you were moving forward with your life. I don't care if you lie to the trolls, they haven't earned honesty from you. But I think I have. If you think you can live without the console, then why don't you try it?

Thank you for answering my questions. Let me try to respond to your answers individually:

1. So you just had a momentary influence of wanting to get the new PS3, even though getting the money is currently a problem? Does that mean you're rethinking it now, and after you get over the shock of the current situation you would rather not pursue a new PS3?

2. I think I understand what you're saying here. Although in fairness I should let you know that I'm just not really that into video games in general. When I settle down with the person I'm going to be with for the rest of my life, I certainly plan to create memories... but I hadn't planned on that being with video games. Don't get me wrong, we can play video games together. I just don't think a video game is that significant. There's a whole wide world of richer experiences that two people can share. (We certainly won't be playing video games for our first several dates, at least.)

3. This is one I still have a problem with. You're saying that you lied to your parents so you wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of them knowing a truth that they deserve to hear. Don't you see something wrong with that? If you're telling lies before your parents, you're telling lies before God. Remember the Fourth Commandment: Honor [[Bob|Thy Father]] and [[Barb|Mother]]. You are mad that the trolls don't respect the "God Blessed" truth in what you tell them, but you don't seem concerned that you are making God sad by disrespecting your parents.

Your hypothetical example is one I can understand. In fact, I've had very similar situations in my life (I usually threw out or gave away the clothes, not burned them). When I was a teenager, I was pretty flighty with my clothes; I collected way too many that I didn't need, and a lot of them just sat in my closet. My parents knew about it, because I didn't hide it from them. And eventually they started getting mad about it and lecturing me. And at the time I didn't like being lectured, but you know what? It wasn't the end of the world. And I learned a lesson: Don't throw away so much money on clothes I don't need, be more respectful of my possessions. And I'm better off for it now. Maybe if you actually owned up to your parents once in a while instead of trying to spin the truth every time you knew they would get mad, you would have learned some lessons about courage and temperance like I did.

4. Well, I guess I can understand why they're so worried about the idea of trolls influencing you. But I do think that their fears are much worse than they would be if you told them the truth and didn't leave out important facts. See, Chris? Lying to your parents to stop them from getting mad doesn't just prevent all problems - You never own up to your own actions like you should, so what choice do your parents have but to believe that you're being manipulated? You've caused them to underestimate you all by yourself.

5. I know you didn't say the words exactly, but that was the impression I was getting. Because things like going to Otakon, coming to see me, and so forth never seemed to inspire you to want to get rid of any of your video games. But now you're willing to sell off all your Nintendo 64 and other games, for the sole purpose of... obtaining another video game. Getting a PS3 inspires you to move mountains but when it comes to me, you just want to wait for me to come to you so you don't have to spend anything.

Well, anyway... I'm looking forward to seeing the shadow-interview video. You can send me a prototype again if you want so I can look it over and offer advice, before you release a final version. It might be cool if you did like a cut-away sort of thing, so the camera would be on you (Chris) while you talk, and then shift to Jinkies for his answers. Or something like that would be cool.

Also, I found this thread: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1242 
Did they dig something up in your yard? I didn't read it very closely, I didn't have a whole lot of time.

Talk to you later,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 1, 2010 - 11:47am

Well I've just took a look out back; Nothing has changed with the doghouse, and no holes were made and no ground uprooted. That dude is just blowing smoke.

I did give you a bunch of men; Four of them, Plus ONE who Came then left. It was an alternating sequence; man, woman, man, woman, etc.

Firstly, I appreciate your understanding and response to my answers to your questions. But for #5, I may have misworded it, but I literally did try to raise the money for Otakon that week; I sold a bunch of DVDs and CDs to Plan9; I ended up with a total of $40. I was still in the phase of learning to get along without the background of games and older consoles collecting dust and selling them later. And I made the money from the N64 for my saving; I still have it.

And later, I learned that GameStop was still accepting Game Boy Advance and GameCube titles, so I later rushed out with a hefty handful of them, including my secondary [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] games I realized I did not require; Sapphire, LeafGreen and Pearl, and my Nintendogs game along with the GBA and GameCube titles selected to move on from. I made $100 Store Credit. And with that credit, my family and I did sit down and discuss a loan for the remaining 200 towards the replacement PS3. They loaned it to me with the term of 100 a month for the next two months. But the point is, [[Scale of Respect|I earned a Huge Chunk of Respect]] from both my mom and dad from the effort.

I understand that counters and coincides with my past truth of getting along without it for a month. But I'll make you a deal, Jackie. Starting on the day you and I meet, I promise to go a whole month without using any of my game consoles, including Handhelds, with you as my eye-witness. If I win, nothing will change, and we will continue towards our happy future together. But if I lose, I will give you $50 cash, and we will still continue towards our happy future together. [[Chris and reality|Either way, we both win]].

I have to do some [[Chris and cinematography|light-re-situating]], but I will have the shadow interview video recorded this week.

I'm not surprised that between Tito AND Clyde, they would Not come through at all with the reward. I'll forward you new e-mails I've received recently. Tito is making up a Fictional meeting between him and me happening, when IT DID NOT. Their Agent recorded me [[Fashion_Square_Mall#Chris_captured_on_video|sitting there waiting]] and posted it onto [[YouTube]] with a damn rumor attached to it. Now they want me to Beg. I've played their Goose-Chase for long enough, and I do not want anything of this anymore. They are NOT going to give me the "reward" regardless of what I do at all. They're all bastards. I'll also have "Junior" speak ill of Tito and Clyde after what I've told him what happened. I'll even blow the lid on the recent "Bone Excavating" too.

*sigh*

You are more important to me than any video game; I WOULD move mountains to get to you, but I have my [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|financial situation]] that puts me on a fixed where affording to Immediately travel is not doable, even WITHOUT buying Anything New throughout the month. I have to eat and get gas for my car too. But Locally, I am still able to [[Best Buy|go out]], afford to treat you to [[McDonalds|good things]] on our dates, and put all of my heart and [[Semen|soul]] into it and into you. Do not ever doubt my solid emotions for you, Jacklyn. I Want You by my side As Soon As Possible and Forever after that more than any material thing in the whole world.

I gtg eat lunch, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart, 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=September 1, 2010 - 1:09pm

The drawing was not what I asked for, pure and simple. I'm looking at it right now, there is only ONE guy in the picture, not four. Over and over you drew what you wanted to, not what I wanted. And why would I want to stare at a bunch of naked women? I'm straight, not a [[gaybian|lesbian]]. And now you're just arguing about it instead of redrawing it. I thought you liked drawing. I thought you liked drawing for ME.

Am I supposed to be proud of you for lying to me? For claiming you could go without your precious PS3 for months when you had no intention of doing so? Am I supposed to be proud that you sold some pokemon games you don't "require" for the sole purpose of buying a new console you also don't require? I don't think the "huge chunk of respect" your parents have given you is really worth anything, because it's based on lies. The lie that your PS3 died before you destroyed it, as well a the lie by omission that the trolls are manipulating you. I believe that that was their own idea, but you are conveniently letting them continue to believe it instead of owning up and explaining that destroying it was all your idea. I wouldn't be proud of earning their respect if I were you. I would be ashamed of having tricked them out of it.

I have several problems with your "deal". Firstly, please don't propose it to me as if I have already accepted it, or assuming that I will accept it. I do not accept it.

Secondly, it is not at all a deal. It is quite insulting. You are going back on your claim that you could go without your PS3 for months. [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|That was basically like a promise.]] You PROMISED me, and you are reneging on it. You talk about how the trolls are renegers for not paying you the money, but why should I care about them? YOU are the reneger, Chris. YOU are the reneger.

Thirdly, you have [[lie]]d to me numerous times, your claim that you can go without the PS3 being the most recent one. But it gets worse when you couple your lies to ME with your rationalization for lying to your PARENTS. You said that you lie to your parents to "protect" them from feeling bad about what you've done. So it's perfectly reasonable to assume that you will lie to me and claim you haven't been playing video games even though you have, isn't it? Because you will rationalize it by saying you need to "protect" me from feeling ashamed. Given that you are bargaining like an addict to get out of your promise to me to let the PS3 go, I think it's fair to assume you will continue down that path and play video games anyway, despite what your little deal promises. You know full well it is not possible for me to be your eye-witness for an entire month, Chris. I can't babysit you 24/7. You offered that specifically because you wanted to look good, you knew I would have to turn down being your eye-witness. So when I'm busy at school or out or whatever, you'll play your games carefree, then lie to me and say you haven't played them because you want to make me think I should be proud of you. Right? You know, if you've wronged someone (like your parents or me), they have a right to be mad at you. By hiding the truth from them, you are further wronging them, not protecting them.

And Fourthly, and most sadly... you're offering to bribe me with $50? I have $50 in my purse right now. I don't need your $50. I don't want your $50. What I want is a boyfriend who is willing to actually TRY to improve himself and who will hold [[true and honest]] to his promises, not abandon them when they get difficult and offer me a bribe to get out of them. How do I "win" by getting $50? Do you really think that's just as good as seeing you fight your pathetic addiction? You'd be the only one who would win, because you'd get out of Honestly Chris, you're making me cry right now.

Don't tell me your "financial situation" makes traveling impossible while at the same time you've quickly acquired $300 in order to buy your precious little video game console. Clearly your PS3 is more important to you than me. It took you weeks to get me my drawing, and even after several tries none of them were the drawing I wanted, but I bet you were still playing your PS3 for hours every day. And once your PS3 was gone, all your efforts became devoted to obtaining a replacement, while I sit here in Tennessee alone. By the way, take a look at this site: https://www.greyhound.com/farefinder/step2.aspx?Redirect=Y&Version=1.0&OriginID=330319&OriginCity=Charlottesville&OriginState=VA&DestinationID=400610&DestinationCity=Nashville&DestinationState=TN&Children=0&Legs=1&Adults=1&Seniors=0&DYear=110&DMonth=9&DDay=4&DHr=
A bus ticket from your place to where I am would only cost $118, much less than a $300 computer. And I told you you'd be staying with me and we could split even on food, and you'd be riding back with me so you wouldn't need to pay for a return bus ticket. Since a PS3 costs nearly triple a bus ticket, I guess you want a PS3 nearly three times more than you want to see me.

Since it seems to work when I make a bullet-list of specific items I want you to address, let me again write out a list of questions and comments I want you to answer:

1. I want you to tell your parents that you lied about the PS3 dying, and tell them that your PS3 was working perfectly fine when you decided to destroy it. 
2. I want you to explain how you think I am supposed to feel about the fact that you never intended to keep your promise to me of going without the PS3 for months. 
3. I want you to explain to me how you think God feels about your lies to me and to your parents. 
4. I want you to explain to me how you think God feels about your gluttonous addiction problem, and your unwillingness to treat it. 
5. I want you to explain how your devotion to obtaining a new PS3 and your total unwillingness to consider coming to see me are not clear signs that you prefer video games over me. 
6. Most importantly... I want you to go til New Years before getting a new PS3. That's January 1, 2011. That's four months away. You promised you could go for months, so show it.

Notice how that list doesn't have anything about me wanting you to come to visit me in Tennessee? That's because I don't want a guy to come visit me when it's obvious he doesn't really want to see me. It's sad, it really is. I thought you cared about me. But you aren't willing to actually pay anything to do see me. Not like you're willing to pay for your PS3. I'd love to have you here with me, I thought we could maybe have our first time together even. But if you don't want to be with me, there's nothing to be gained by trying to coerce you.

I want so much for this to work, Chris. I've been trying so hard. But what signs have you given me? What work have you done for me? Why are you not willing to show me anything but empty promises that you immediately back out on when they become inconvenient? Do you think a girlfriend is something you can just shut out when she becomes inconvenient? I guess I'll be sitting here alone til the end of my trip then, unless you care to prove me wrong. I promise I'll call you when I get home. Although given how little promises mean to you, maybe you won't mind if they start to mean as little to me, too. If you want me to feel differently, you'll have to actually do something to show me.

Talk to you later,

Jackie

P.S. You complain about the trolls blowing smoke to you, but it seems like you've been blowing a lot of smoke to me this whole time.}}

{{Email|1=September 1, 2010 - 3:38pm

By the way, I suggest you look harder where they said they dug up your [[dog]]. You say you took one glance and then ignored it, but they specifically said they were careful to leave no trace. Doesn't your deceased dog deserve at least as much time as your deceased PS3? http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=95

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 2, 2010 - 11:06am

Chris, where have you been? I didn't hear from you at all yesterday, is everything alright? I'm starting to get a little worried.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 2, 2010 - 3:35pm

I'm sorry for not replying yesterday. In the morning, I had to hang with my mother while she went in for her liver checkup (I think that's what it was about), and she gave a bit of blood shortly before as well. We had some breakfast (she ate later), and met my father at the usual gas station where he buys his weekly lottery tickets. [[Chris and money|I invest $4 weekly]] between Win For Life and Mega Millions; two plays each.

And in the afternoon, I hung with my father for lunch. And redownloaded all of the update data for my PS3 disc games ([[Eye of Judgment]] was the longest to update, so I watched Disc 8 of the "[[Wikipedia:Daria|Daria]]" DVD set; it included the final two episodes and both movies during that update. I felt sleepiest during the 7:00 PM hour while Motorsorm was updating, and I was given the option to restart my PS3, so I shut it down for the night and crashed.

Today so far, I went with my father for [[Burger King|morning coffee]], and just got back from sharing a baked potato with him at [[Wendys]] and walking around Food Lion for a bit. I finished the Disc Game Updates, now I'm working on the Download Games and Add-Ons; I had redownloaded all of the [[LittleBigPlanet|LBP]] and [[ModNation Racers|MNR]] DLC, Premium and Dynamic Themes and Avatars First Items right after booting up the new PS3 and reformatting the 500GB HDD.

Aside from that, in response to your concerns about [[Patti]], and they go greatly appreciated. Thank you. :) But I did not just glance over the area, I went over it extensively; I saw NO difference from past times at all. So, you have no need to worry. And I've read the Forum topic more; they're just blowing smoke, making up crap. Besides which, for your information and Confidential, Patti was buried in the cardboard box the vet put her in, encased with a re-enforced Solid Wooden Crate my father and I put together with screws and nails, and was buried with the two Towels we had to use the day she died to clean her with. And with all that, A) they would NOT be able to "polish" the bones, because the flesh and fur would still be plentiful on the body. B) The bones would NOT be covered in Dirt and Soil, because of the body being in a cardboard box, encased in a Nailed and Screwed Wooden Crate with No Holes. And C) there are a LOT of Trees and Branches surrounding the Doghouse and Cement Blocks that rest over her buried, enclosed, secured body, so there is Very Little Chance of ANYONE getting to the doghouse and moving it. Plus, there are some Poison Ivy in that area. So, ANY photos they would have taken would have Flesh and Fur on those Bones, and the Crate, Nails, Screws and Box the body was in. Their photograph is of some other damn sack of bones from some other dirt site. Plus they do not mention Anything of the Crate and the Trees, OR even the Gazebo.

I still yearn for you by my side, Jacklyn. Is there any update on When you'll be returning to [[Virginia]], so we can schedule the Date? I want you here Badly. You give me the shine in my days that make them better with your sweetness and understandings. You are SOO Cool, [[Sweetheart]].

Please let me know in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=September 2, 2010 - 3:55pm

So you got a new PS3 afterall?

Actually, I decided to come home early. I got in early this morning. I was thinking about calling you, but since you decided that re-downloading the same baby games you've already played hundreds of hours in was so important that you couldn't spare ten minutes to write me an email yesterday, I'm not sure when I'll call you. When I didn't hear from you I thought that maybe my email was too "[[stress]]ful" for you to read and you decided to simply ignore me. I have stuff I can do that's more important than a guy who doesn't care about me.

Clearly, since you had a choice between writing to me and playing your PS3, and you chose the PS3, that means the PS3 is the "shine in your days". I am obviously not. I'm not a hamster, Chris. You can't trick me just by repeating words that you think sound romantic. If you ever want me "at your side", you will answer every item on the list I just sent you for the second time. You will DO SOMETHING to show me that you care rather than just repeating EMPTY WORDS. How many times must I tell you that it is SOO OBVIOUS that your words don't mean anything alone?

Please don't talk to me about your father or what cartoons you watch when you completely ignored the serious letter that I spent over an hour writing to you. I'll repost it below, and if you actually care about me at all, you'll actually read the whole thing and respond to it this time.

The drawing was not what I asked for, pure and simple. I'm looking at it right now, there is only ONE guy in the picture, not four. Over and over you drew what you wanted to, not what I wanted. And why would I want to stare at a bunch of naked women? I'm straight, not a lesbian. And now you're just arguing about it instead of redrawing it. I thought you liked drawing. I thought you liked drawing for ME.

Am I supposed to be proud of you for lying to me? For claiming you could go without your precious PS3 for months when you had no intention of doing so? Am I supposed to be proud that you sold some pokemon games you don't "require" for the sole purpose of buying a new console you also don't require? I don't think the "huge chunk of respect" your parents have given you is really worth anything, because it's based on lies. The lie that your PS3 died before you destroyed it, as well a the lie by omission that the trolls are manipulating you. I believe that that was their own idea, but you are conveniently letting them continue to believe it instead of owning up and explaining that destroying it was all your idea. I wouldn't be proud of earning their respect if I were you. I would be ashamed of having tricked them out of it.

I have several problems with your "deal". Firstly, please don't propose it to me as if I have already accepted it, or assuming that I will accept it. I do not accept it.

Secondly, it is not at all a deal. It is quite insulting. You are going back on your claim that you could go without your PS3 for months. That was basically like a promise. You PROMISED me, and you are reneging on it. You talk about how the
trolls are renegers for not paying you the money, but why should I care about them? YOU are the reneger, Chris. YOU are the reneger.

Thirdly, you have lied to me numerous times, your claim that you can go without the PS3 being the most recent one. But it gets worse when you couple your lies to ME with your rationalization for lying to your PARENTS. You said that you lie to your parents to "protect" them from feeling bad about what you've done. So it's perfectly reasonable to assume that you will lie to me and claim you haven't been playing video games even though you have, isn't it? Because you will rationalize it by saying you need to "protect" me from feeling ashamed. Given that you are bargaining like an addict to get out of your promise to me to let the PS3 go, I think it's fair to assume you will continue down that path and play video games anyway, despite what your little deal promises. You know full well it is not possible for me to be your eye-witness for an entire month, Chris. I can't babysit you 24/7. You offered that specifically because you wanted to look good, you knew I would have to turn down being your eye-witness. So when I'm busy at school or out or whatever, you'll play your games carefree, then lie to me and say you haven't played them because you want to make me think I should be proud of you. Right? You know, if you've wronged someone (like your parents or me), they have a right to be mad at you. By hiding the truth from them, you are further wronging them, not protecting them.

And Fourthly, and most sadly... you're offering to bribe me with $50? I have $50 in my purse right now. I don't need your $50. I don't want your $50. What I want is a boyfriend who is willing to actually TRY to improve himself and who will hold true and honest to his promises, not abandon them when they get difficult and offer me a bribe to get out of them. How do I "win" by getting $50? Do you really think that's just as good as seeing you fight your pathetic addiction? You'd be the only one who would win, because you'd get out of Honestly Chris, you're making me cry right now.

Don't tell me your "financial situation" makes traveling impossible while at the same time you've quickly acquired $300 in order to buy your precious little video game console. Clearly your PS3 is more important to you than me. It took you weeks to get me my drawing, and even after several tries none of them were the drawing I wanted, but I bet you were still playing your PS3 for hours every day. And once your PS3 was gone, all your efforts became devoted to obtaining a replacement, while I sit here in Tennessee alone. By the way, take a look at this site: https://www.greyhound.com/farefinder/step2.aspx?Redirect=Y&Version=1.0&OriginID=330319&OriginCity=Charlottesville&OriginState=VA&DestinationID=400610&DestinationCity=Nashville&DestinationState=TN&Children=0&Legs=1&Adults=1&Seniors=0&DYear=110&DMonth=9&DDay=4&DHr=
A bus ticket from your place to where I am would only cost $118, much less than a $300 computer. And I told you you'd be staying with me and we could split even on food, and you'd be riding back with me so you wouldn't need to pay for a return bus ticket. Since a PS3 costs nearly triple a bus ticket, I guess you want a PS3 nearly three times more than you want to see me.

Since it seems to work when I make a bullet-list of specific items I want you to address, let me again write out a list of questions and comments I want you to answer:

1. I want you to tell your parents that you lied about the PS3 dying, and tell them that your PS3 was working perfectly fine when you decided to destroy it. 
2. I want you to explain how you think I am supposed to feel about the fact that you never intended to keep your promise to me of going without the PS3 for months. 
3. I want you to explain to me how you think [[God]] feels about your lies to me and to your parents. 
4. I want you to explain to me how you think God feels about your gluttonous addiction problem, and your unwillingness to treat it. 
5. I want you to explain how your devotion to obtaining a new PS3 and your total unwillingness to consider coming to see me are not clear signs that you prefer video games over me. 
6. Most importantly... I want you to go til New Years before playing your PS3. That's January 1, [[2011]]. That's four months away. You promised you could go for months, so show it.

Notice how that list doesn't have anything about me wanting you to come to visit me in Tennessee? That's because I don't want a guy to come visit me when it's obvious he doesn't really want to see me. It's sad, it really is. I thought you cared about me. But you aren't willing to actually pay anything to do see me. Not like you're willing to pay for your PS3. I'd love to have you here with me, I thought we could maybe have our first time together even. But if you don't want to be with me, there's nothing to be gained by trying to coerce you.

I want so much for this to work, Chris. I've been trying so hard. But what signs have you given me? What work have you done for me? Why are you not willing to show me anything but empty promises that you immediately back out on when they become inconvenient? Do you think a girlfriend is something you can just shut out when she becomes inconvenient? I guess I'll be sitting here alone til the end of my trip then, unless you care to prove me wrong. I promise I'll call you when I get home. Although given how little promises mean to you, maybe you won't mind if they start to mean as little to me, too. If you want me to feel differently, you'll have to actually do something to show me.

Talk to you later,

Jackie

P.S. You complain about the trolls blowing smoke to you, but it seems like you've been blowing a lot of smoke to me this whole time.

P.P.S. Dogs decompose when they die. If you loved your dog, you wouldn't just assume it was all safe and go play your little video games.}}

{{Email|September 2, 2010 - 3:57pm

Chris, I just sent you a very long email, but honestly I have a feeling you'll just ignore it because it takes too many minutes to read, so I'm sending you this short one to make sure you understand me: Read the entirety of that long email, think about it, and respond to EVERY ONE of my questions and concerns. I don't care if it takes you two hours to do this, you do it. Or I'm through with you.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 12]]

Jackie E-mails 10

2011-04-26T02:36:53Z

Thatguy:

On Jackie's advice; Chris thinks talking about Sonichu for his reunion will stop trolls, be giving good advice (we love you, Jackie).

Chris speaks of his happy times at Manchester, sounding like he is talking about recent history: such is the obsession and desire to be stuck in 'simpler times'. The e-mail is several times the length of others.

In a bizarre counter-troll effort, Chris makes a ghost story about his 8-year old self and Patti's ghost (suggesting his inner child is dead-- he certainly doesn't need it to be childish) doing to a troll what his tard-fit required to be done to him, including getting a rash and autism.

More evidence that his love-quest is only to prove his straightness.

Forgetting that weeks earlier, they were discussing his video game addiction, Chris tables all other discussions to bemoan the loss of all purchased downloadable contents, and makes plans to get them back, and replay Guitar Hero and all [[Sonic]] titles to get back to where he was. It's not fueling his addiction, because he'll be too busy playing to buy anything new. Jackie points this out. Chris ignores it, compares losing save data to losing a relative (the one who's grave he swore on earlier. Early reports of more tremors from a certain Virginia graveyard have not been verified by the U.S. Geological Survey), says he can change his negative addiction into a positive addiction with Jackie. He still plans to work to recover all game data he lost, as it was, too. Origin of the PS3 Destruction/Reward Plot.

tl;dr - Chris is putting every effort into getting back to the way it was, plus with life-upgrades. He ''demands'' respect from Jackie, as this is him improving himself.

Trolls are now the "Jokers."

===Emails===

{{Email|August 24, 2010 - 10:04pm

Hey Chris! I got the video, so you can take it down from MegaUploader. Thanks for making it so quickly!!

Were you really on the news that night? That's wacky, I watch a lot of news but I never see high school graduations covered on the news, even local news; there's hundreds of schools in any city that have a graduation every year so I don't know why the news would cover them. Why do you think they were recording your graduation specifically? Can you find me a clip of yourself from that night? I'd love to see your graduation.

As for the [[trolling]] forum, I told you last time Chris, whoever those people are they have been around a long time, they can obviously hide themselves so [[Sony]] doesn't find them. You've mailed Sony before, and guess what? They're still there! Ugh, Chris, did you just email Sony and expect the problem to go away? I told you that you need to solve this problem on your own! And I also told you that you need to start things on the forum, too. You know these trolls way better than I do - how am I supposed to just think of something to say if you can't even think of something to say? I can't post on the forum for you, Chris. And Sony can't post on the forum for you, either. How much thought have you really put into trying to come up with something? Any?

sigh... well, anyway, I don't want to sound like a ninny. Let's talk about the video, which I really liked! I think you did a pretty good job with it, there isn't a whole lot I would change. I do think you should try to be a little more emphatic and emotional - you told them how much you care about this, but you should also show them with your body language. Use sweeping hand gestures, that sort of thing. And also make sure to use strong facial expressions, put your heart into it. That will really hook their attention. Hmm... also, one more thing. You say in the video that you are trying to avoid getting trolls' attention with the video. While that's true, the fact is, there probably will be some trolls trying to comment on it anyway, and whether you want their attention or not they'll be there. That's why you should take a slightly different route: Even though it probably sounds odd, I think it would be okay to directly address the trolls briefly. Say something like "Hey trolls, I know you're watching this. Well, I don't care, so go pin a rose on your nose." Do it really smug and happy to show them how you just laugh off their attempts to get to you. That, if anything, is better than just trying not to call attention to them, because they already know you are trying not to. Gotta be one step ahead of them.

Ooh, one more thing: you mention briefly that you are the creator of [[Sonichu]]. I think you should go on a little bit more about Sonichu, because it is a huge thing that you've done. I'm sure your old classmates know about Sonichu, maybe you can recall some of your favorite moments of the comic, and maybe ask them to tell you their favorite moments of the [[comic]], or who their favorite characters are. That will remind them of how much of an artist you are, the good memories will flood back for them!

Ooh, Chris, I can't wait for the drawing! You're my hero right now!! <3 <3 <3

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 25, 2010 - 6:44pm

I will rerecord the video with more emotions a little later (and maybe with a better shirt).

I sense a misunderstanding; I was talking Theoretically on the Graduation being recorded for television; I did not say that it was televised for Certain. Although I am certain there were a number of people in the audience with camcorders, including the families of at least the "C"-named students neighboring me in the lineup. However if I should find a clip of that night and my error, I will let you know about it.

Speaking of which, last night on NBC News @ 11, they talked about Mary Baldwin College and their Military Troop. You may have covered that a bit in your Journalism. ;) They also talked a bit of the grass of the grounds; not sure what specifically.

Talking about Sonichu and my favorite memories is a good idea, especially to shut the trolls up a bit, and give [[True and Loyal Fanbase|the fans]] some good service. I should inform you that I created Sonichu on March 17, 2000; within my Seinor Year at [[Manchester High]], and even then he was just getting started on the CD-Cover of "[[Christian's Favorite Hits]]" that I created in my Computer Graphics Class and Homemade [[Pok'emon]] [[Trading Cards]]. The comics didn't start really until about [[2004]], and the [[Sub-Episodes|Story Formations]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|other Character Creations]] happened within the Four years. Granted my classmates may or may not have found my comic pages online beyond 2004... Point is the Stories were only Starting Up my Seinor Year, and there was Nothing before then.

Fun Stories, though, my C.O.Y2K, and Computer Graphics Class, classmate, and one of my close friends, Miranda Mitchell, redesigned the "[[CWC's Pok'eSite 2!]]" Logo to the better-looking shiny one that came about later. *See attached Logo JPGs; the "pklg2" was the Original; "cwcpktwo" was Miranda's work. It was an assignment, in partners, of designing Logos for Companies; I did one for Miranda of two Chicks (young chickens) and a Strawberry (fruit) (file not found at the moment, but is printed on a big poster I designed for a later C.G. project). So at least Miranda is (or was at least) aware of Sonichu.

Plus, [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] (attached gif), was Born also in Manchester High (or created in imagination), but during my Freshman Year back in 1996 Litterally while I was reading a "Fear Street" Novel during a Basketball Practice Session while I was a Manager of the Varsity Team. So, in a way, Sonichu and Bionic are like brothers; being born in the same school building. That would be an interesting idea; Bionic the Hedgehog, [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s Lost-and-later-found Older Brother who became a well-experienced mechanic and Basketball All-Star for Manchester High, Vs Sonichu, the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon]] with incredible speeds and Zapping Powers, in an One-on-One Basketball Game.

Lastly, the Troll Forum. I think I misspoke on not knowing what to say or do on the Forum; I was on there last night checking out new stuff, then I suddenly got the ideas in response to what I was reading. "Miranda Cosgrove" on there now fears me, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian]], knowing about the Forum after sending a link to Sony. As "Junior", I played along and replied about Chris boycotting downloading anything new from within [[ModNation Racers]] or [[LittleBiGPlanet]], in response to reading about their plan of planting a spyware virus in a Published Creation of theirs. Plus telling them that Chris may come out of hiding and create a new video, ruining their trite "Christian is Dead" rumor (repeated acts are LAME). Also telling them about me disconnecting my WiFi to keep them from spying on me at random times. And in another post reply, I told them [[Patti]]'s body was buried under cement blocks with the heavy dog house on top of them. And counting all of the surrounding plants, and telling them the fable of pouring cement into the hole as well, it was like "Fort fuckin' Knox". LOL

After that last night (this morning), I formulated more counter-details I can tell them, and I even made up a scary ghost story that happens to Junior.

Junior goes over to my house from the house across from mine (there are literally Five houses across the streets from mine, so if you look at them, you take your pick of which one Junior lives in) with a flashlight one night. He is trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad he can do about the house. When suddenly, he hears a voice, "Hello". He looks around and sees nobody. Then suddenly, he is paralyzed; his ankles and wrists are pulled in his left and right directions, feeling like there were hands holding them down on a floor, and he feels a pair of hands on his Neck too; strangling him, yet he can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. Troll." It is the voice of [[Chris|a child]], about 8 years old. Junior struggles to look around, yet sees nobody. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the Elementary School were; they did not understand me and my [[Autism|mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, Junior sees a lot of [[Nudes|strange images]] going through his mind. Including which were the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking him alone in [[Chris's room|a static room]]; a therapy session at James Madison University; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding him down and taping his screams and more. Junior tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence.

Next thing he knows, he is knocked back onto the cement block trail of the garden aisle, by the weight of a big dog, yet there was no dog body. Wrists, Ankles and Neck still being hand-held, the child ghost leaves his mind, and then he hears a deep womanly voice, Growling at him as he smells the stench of a dog's breath surrounding his nostrils. The voice says, "Do not mess with my master, my family or me, [[terrorist|you infidel!]]" Next, he feels the sting of the dog biting into both his ankles, one after the other. At that moment, Junior struggles back, leaving behind the lit flashlight he dropped earlier when his arms were being stretched out. And he limps as fast as he can back to his house, closing and locking his door back in, gasping for breath and dripping with sweat. He limps to the bathroom with the shower and looks in the mirror; what a gross mess he looked like. And he noticed a Red Rash on the right side of his neck, and rashes on both his wrists, from the hands that held them in place. And his pant legs were ripped, and he saw on both his ankles rashes and Teeth Marks of a Dog. He tried to scream again, but it was another silent scream. And Junior was unable to speak at all for Four Hours. For he has encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and Patti, protecting the Chandler [[House]]hold.

The End.

The hands pinning him down I got from the time I was held down by the same school faculty members of N.G.E.S., and I literally came home with a rash on the right side of my neck; my mom took a photograph of it. I also took speech therapy sessions at J.M.U. during my childhood. I get my horror tale telling from the book works of [[R.L. Stine|Mr. R.L. Stein]]; author of the "Goosebumps" and "Fear Street" Novel Series.

I'm thinking of adding Junior's story to the Forum, as a tactic of scaring the Trolls to stay away and stop messing with me and my family and our household.

I'll TTYL, [[Sweetheart]]. 
Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 25, 2010 - 8:52pm

Hey Chris!

Oh, I misunderstood about the news thing, I thought you meant you knew for sure it was. You might be right though, maybe there is news footage of it somewhere. It'd still be kind of cool to see it.

I really look forward to seeing the final video! You know, you should probably just release it directly on youtube, you don't need to send it to me again. You did such a good job with the first version, once you incorporate the new features I'm sure it will be good to go. And since you got the first version so quickly, I think you can still make the final version by tomorrow at 9:00pm. Remember, the sooner it's up, the sooner your old classmates can see it. I have confidence in your abilities! :)

I like your ideas for feeding misinformation to the trolls, it sounds like you're really coming up with quite a few good ones. Your ghost story is really well thought out, just reading it I could feel the suspense and fear you are trying to put into it - it made me shiver! :) :) I was also looking at a couple more threads today and saw some interesting ones: Here's one about juggalos. <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=87</nowiki>
Did you really wear juggalo make-up? That sounds cute! Maybe you could do it again sometime. It sounds like that got to them when you did it.

Here's another one about rewards they are offering for various stuff: <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=86</nowiki>
One of them is that they are offering $4,000 for a [[gay]] sex video with you in it - they actually want Junior Jenkins to be the one to do it to Chris! They said it wouldn't be a problem for you because of the gay experimentation "jinkies" did in his youth. I don't know how you would be able to fake that one, but maybe we could think of something; maybe use dim lighting and pretend there's two people on the video, some camera tricks or something. Another thing is they are offering a LOT of money for your [[PS3]] to be destroyed. That one would be easier to do , obviously - either one would get you that reward money. Wouldn't it be hilarious if you fooled them and then got money for it? If you destroyed your PS3 you'd probably have to wait a bit to get the money and replace it. Well, either one gets you a lot of [[money]]. What do you think you'd rather do, destroy the PS3 or fake a gay sex video?

Hmm, they also would be willing to pay reward for proof of your straightness, although they don't say how much. Hmm, I'm not sure how you could do that... well, we can think of something.

Anyway, I had another idea after I read your ghost story. A lot of people will probably be skeptical upon reading it. But what if you made another video after your current one where you tell a similar scary story and somehow incorporated it? Tell a story about some time when you encountered eerie stuff like what Jenkins is talking about. Like, do a close-up of your face with the lights out and a flashlight shining up from under your face, and somehow reference the ghost story. My idea is, you tell the story from Jenkins Jinkies perspective, and the trolls will think "yeah, sure, whatever..." but then CHRIS, instead of JINKIES, releases a video that is about the haunting. Suddenly, the trolls see two different people talking about the same supernatural elements... and suddenly they can't just dismiss it. Gets under their skin.

I gotta go now, but your Sonichu stuff sounds interesting too; when I get more time to write I have some more questions to ask about it. I can't wait to see the video up! Talk to you tomorrow sweetie!!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|August 26, 2010 - 8:57pm

Hey Chris, I was kind of hoping you'd write me tonight! I was looking forward to seeing your video [[online]]. Or did you get it up? I actually don't remember the link for your [[youtube]] account. But I kind of was hoping you'd write me to let me know it was up, I thought you'd be excited to do so. Oh well, guess maybe I'll have to go to bed without seeing it...

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 27, 2010 - 2:53am

I apologize for being late in replying; the video is uploading right now, and I'll have the link pasted on the bottom of this e-mail after it's been uploaded.

Thank you for your support in my ghost story; in the Forum, they took it lightly. Although, after my father's reading of the print-outs of their words, he states, "We've got them going 'round in circles." I think the video I did with the face paint is still on my Y.T. Account, and I think I have a photo saved somewhere; uncertain at the moment.

I saw their "Rewards" topic. Firstly, let me inform you that considering MOST of the trolls are immature, underage, demented, twisted, sick, evil and such; the "rewards" would obviously be False. If a troll actually comes up with such "footage" and gives it to someone like [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde would NOT give out any money. So, with that considered, I would never make such a [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|gay video]], or [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3-wrecking video]], for even a Billion Dollars. And with that, I would appreciate it if you would not even think of me making any footage for the Trolls' "Money" ever again, please.

[[Homos#Why_Chris_appears_to_be_gay|Proof of my straightness]] would be a no-brainer. ;) You and Me kissing, cuddling, yada, yada, yada. LOL :)

Right after recording the video, and before re-hooking my router to get back online, I typed a list of my M.H.S. C.O.[[2000]] Classmates' names, with two blank columns for current phone number(s) and address. In the video, I encourage them to snail-mail or telephone my house phone. My father will handle the sorting out the phonies from the real deals with name verification and such. So the list is for him to fill in the blanks of contact info from the calls and letters incoming from my classmates.

I also make a Public Announcement for [[Internet]] Safety and TrollBusting as a second topic in the video.

I have not forgotten the drawing of you and me and the circle-bangers; I'm having trouble getting a good picture in my head of the scenario to be able to draw it. I have some idea, but it's not complete to me yet. [[Chris and Art|I am an artist]], and for my Sweetheart, I want to be able to do my best on the work. But I will try to have a good picture in my head as quickly as possible, and have the drawing ready by Sunday.

[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|The video is uploaded]]. <nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ-dpgxZruI</nowiki>

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweetest, Sweetheart. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 27, 2010 - 8:54am

Ooh, Chris, I'm so excited to see it!!! I just watched it, I think you did perfectly.

I have some more ideas, like I think you should make a video telling a ghost story, to reinforce Jinkie's story on the forum. I have to rush out the door right now but I'll write more detail when I get home later today.

I'm so happy!!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|August 27, 2010 - 4:17pm

Okay, I have some more time to write now. Long day.

So, I guess maybe it is a long shot to get money out of the trolls, although I still think it would be fun to mess with them. But I fully encourage you to do the ghost story video. Like I said, shine a flashlight up from under your face and have all the lights out, and tell a story about the ghosts like Jinkies did. Obviously don't mention Jinkies or the forum or anything - it has to look like a complete coincidence that you are bringing this up. When they see similar stories coming from two independent sources, they won't be able to dismiss it so lightly.

So your father is going to help you sort out all the stuff from your classmates? Oh, I thought you were going to have me help you, I said I'd like to. The reason I wonder about your [[father]] is just that he's from a time before the internet, so he might not be as capable of spotting phonies... You know, a lot of people communicate primarily through the internet these days, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's how your classmates try to get in touch with you. A lot of people I know prefer to use email because they don't want to send their addresses or phone numbers out where they might not be secure. I know that trolls might - or rather, will probably - try to send false leads to you but that's why I'm here, to help you sort stuff out. If you refuse to accept any email contact, it will severely limit who gets in touch with you.

So you won't have my drawing until Sunday? sigh... well, I want you to do your best with it, so I guess I understand. I'm still looking forward to seeing it.

Hey, you uploaded a new video? [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|Your playstation hard drive was formatted and erased]]? How exactly did that happen? Ouch, I know you had tons of stuff saved on it. So what all did you lose, I'm not clear? Did you lose your saved games and trophies and stuff? What about all that expensive DLC you had for little big planet? You know, this might be actually a blessing in disguise, though. If you've lost all your save data for your games, maybe now you won't be as tempted to keep playing all that stuff. You know that phrase "God works in mysterious ways"? Maybe God saw you were hesitant to walk away from little big planet, and He gave you a little push. Maybe this was all God's doing. Regardless, I suggest you try to take the best out of the situation. Maybe step away from the games for a bit, like we've talked about. (Or maybe now that your games are gone, you'll have extra time to put into getting my drawing done and sending it to me? :) :) :)

Well anyway, I hope you do the ghost story video soon. You can be a really good storyteller when you try to be, I'm excited to see what you come up with!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 27, 2010 - 9:18pm

Jackie, I will address the other topics of your e-mail in my next one, and I promise to have the drawing for you by Sunday.

But to elaborate, for a few weeks, I have been getting error codes and being disabled from downloading video and digital comic contents from the Playstation Store; I've called them a week or two ago to address it for the first time. Yet even up to today, I still have the problem, and it seems only to affect my Main account; not my secondary account. Anyway, in a troubleshooting attempt that was new to me when I called Sony today to possibly kill a corrupt file that may be causing the trouble. I followed the woman's instructions to Restore the System Files. In Miscommunications (with some faulty headphones on her end, and even though trying to make Sure I was taking the right steps, I had a bit difficulty understanding her on my end as well). Anyway, there was an error in the System File Recovery, and the console recommended Formating the Hard Drive, and this is where the misunderstandings come in; I wanted to make sure this was only affecting the System's Hard Drive, not the removable notebook HDD, and that my music, videos, games, saves and all would be safe. She heard "System File Recovery" when I read "Formatting the Hard Drive"; I was thinking "System's Hard Drive" over "Removable HDD". And I clicked "Yes" on the Format, and when the XMB came back up, ALL of my [[Comics|Photos]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Music]], [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|Videos]], [[Games]], Saves, [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|Downloaded DLC]]... GONE! I was in [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|Major Shock]], but she, Michelle, was kind enough to stay on the line for me while I collected myself. I think it took about 10 minutes to make a bit of sense and retain calm and coolness.

I'm currently still a bit shook up, but I see it as a fresh start again. I will redownload my Game Contents, and I've requested Michelle to see if she can give me credit for the Purchased Videos I've downloaded, so I can redownload them again. I should have gotten a second 500GB External HDD sooner for backing the videos up; can't think of everything (or afford everything soon enough; the new [[Wal-Mart]] has my ideal 500GB WD External HDD at a Rollback of $55, which currently is a bargain for the item.

I'm starting on redownloading all of the Add-Ons, Music and Themes previously purchased, followed afterwards with the Game Software, in order from first item purchased to last (bottom to top). And I've restarted and reestablished my ModNation Racers Profile, and I recollected my Trophies from the Online Server. Plus, I've redownload my MNR creations from Published, and I'll have to replay the whole Carrer to unlock everything again. As for LittleBiGPlanet, I've backed up my profile a few months back, about last April, so all I'll should need to do for that is replay the Marvel Levels to recollect the bits and pieces there.

And I'll replay my [[Guitar Hero]] Games later on, as well as my other Disc games, especially my Sonic the Hedgehog Titles.

Also, I'd like to be able to put this towards you, Jackie, with a Fresher Start on my PS3, you and I, we can make our own music on it together from scratch, in addition to our outings, movie nights and romantic encounters (including Fooly Cooly). ;)

With the events of the day, I feel less constricted by my PS3, and I am able to regain control. With my reconstructing my Game Saves over time, I'll likely be least inclined to purchase any new games, discs or downloadable for a good amount of time.

And I can still spend my sweet time in real life with my Sweetheart, Jackie. ;)

It's good now, and I am recovering well.

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet. 
Christian. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3}}

{{Email|August 27, 2010 - 10:17pm

Hey Chris.

Wow, I'm really sorry that this happened. I've had computers crash before, it's a pain in the ass.

But you know, I think it's a bad sign that this seems to be consuming all of your thoughts right now. I mean, yeah, it sucks when a computer crashes and you lose your data. But come on, it's just video games and movies. You're going to get all that stuff back anyway because the [[PSN]] saves records of all your downloads, so what's the big deal? This is barely a hiccup to you. Ever had a computer crash and delete your term paper the day before its due, and if you can't turn it in you'll fail your class? That's a REAL computer problem. I mean, you say you're "shook up" as if you've been in a car crash or something. This is just a temporary inconvenience.

I don't really understand how you say you're less constricted by your PS3 now. You've just written me a giant email that talks about nothing but how dismayed you are by an inconvenient computer error, and explaining in detail how you intend to devote yourself to downloading and replaying all your old games just to get old save files back. Chris, not buying new games is a good thing. But not buying new games simply because you enslave yourself to playing your old games, because you can't stand the thought of not having all your old save files at the ready, is the wrong reason to do it. It all says what I've been telling you: that you're just addicted to video games.

And I understand that you were trying to be romantic by suggesting we make songs on guitar hero together, but considering your addiction problems hearing you say that really just makes me feel kind of sad because you're trying to pull me into that world of darkness, all the while I'm trying to pull you out into the light.

Maybe you should use this time to be constructive. As I say, maybe God is trying to tell you something. Step away from the video games for now. I mean, while you're redownloading a bunch of games that you've already played hundreds of hours in, I'm sitting here waiting for a drawing that you promised to have to me by tonight. :( You should also be spending time doing things like making that ghost story video. I'm not just saying this because these are things you should be doing, but because focusing your mind on other tasks will be helpful in drawing you away from thinking about your little video game hiccup.

Another thing you can do to keep yourself occupied is keep working on the troll forum. I looked back on that thread about the reward money, here: <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=86</nowiki>
There's that girl who was talking about the pink shirted girls, remember? She posted a picture of the cash reward that Clyde sent her. Chris, I think Clyde might be REAL here. He might be insane, but he's actually PAYING these trolls just like he said he would. I know it seemed impossible but he's actually paying people rewards. You can use this, Chris. Make a video that fulfills one of those requirements, like the fake gay sex video or something. Or frankly, I would actually endorse you destroying your PS3 on camera for him, because it would kill two birds with one stone - get reward money from them, and sever a giant chain to your addiction. Chris, this is a perfect avenue you can take to get your mind of your video games. Get some of that reward money! That way you can pay off what you owe your dad, have some spending cash, and show up those morons.

Have you received any contacts from old classmates yet? Remember like I said, just show any you get to me and I'll help you sort the real from the fakes. These are all things you can do to take your mind off of your PS3 glitch. I believe in you, Chris!!

<3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 28, 2010 - 12:51pm

Within the majority of the Save Data that was created with my gameplay from within the past about 3 years, such as within the Guitar Hero games that allowed me to create a game version of myself, while I was playing and creating myself, they were more reflecting of myself during my lonely years of life, and even worse during the years I was having to deal and be tortured by those Trolls.

When I lost all of the Save Data in the Format, I lost the me that was enduring those lonely, hard times; [[Aunt Corrina|it was like I lost a relative]], but what was lost was the Lonely, Considerably Pathetic Me. And behind those emotions, were the Darker reasons behind the gameplay. I have awakened anew, with the anguish of the past three years washed away.

But NOW, I have a more positive turn in my life; my Future with You, Jackie. And from this point on, my gameplay on my PS3, which was tainted in the darkness of loneliness, can now be gameplay of the Light of Happiness from the Romance between you and me.

Yet, you are right, Jackie, during the immediate Post-Death of the Lonliness and Anguish, I can and will use my Refreshed Energy to focus on the immediate, more important needs and details of life, including the Take Down of the Trolls, while the Software Data is being redownloaded.

Granted, I may be inclining, or have inclined, speak of new gameplay to recover game data that HAD my old self in them, that is NOT the case. I am moving forward towards a brighter future, and I will not be tied down again by self-pity and anguish that once was there and which will NOT be emotionally recreated.

Jacklyn, I had spent my money on the store and new games, because I did not have a Sweetheart to spend on and shop for. But now that you are in my life, and our future is certain, I will better dedicate my funds to US and Our future together. With the Emotional Anguishes GONE in the wind For Real now, Gaming has once again been reduced to a Hobby for me. I promise you, Sweetheart, from this day forward, the Main Topic will always be about You And Me.

I have read and looked over the reward topic page you have linked me to. I have come to a decision, I Will Destroy my PS3 Console with a Brick, and I will have it video-recorded. I have another friend who can pretend to be Junior Jenkins to record it in action, in my own backyard. I have backed up my MNR and LBP Data, plus I've found I've backed up a LOT of the game data last February on a Flash Drive, NOT including Guitar Hero World Tour and beyond, with the Custom Player features. The console was old anyway, and with the reward, I can get the newer, slimmer version and begin anew on IT instead. But out of respect, I am going to keep the removable cover I've decorated with my [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|self-game cover]] printed decals as a momento, and I have removed the 500GB HDD, which I understand and accept will be reformatted when installed into the new PS3. And I can still access my PSN accounts, with Three Less Out-of-US accounts I've lost the passwords for long ago; I've been relogging into them, because the passwords were saved onto the console. Give Me Respect; I AM going to do this, and I will use the majority of the 9K to pay back my father. I am trusting you to keep this information confidential, less the Removable Cover with the Decals; I will reveal in the Video that I will be keeping that as a momento.

*sigh*

I will make the call to my friend shortly after this e-mail, and I'll have to be leaving soon for lunch with my father. But let me address the remaining topics in your previous e-mails briefly before I wrap this up.

I have the idea for the drawing, and I am Ready to draw it; you will have it in an e-mail tonight around 9 or 10:00. My father has declined aiding me in taking the phone calls from my classmates; we've been getting mostly [[Prank calls|the Jokers]] anyway, so no classmates yet. I will add a comment to the video to send me e-mails in addition to calling and snail-mailing me. I will give great consideration to me telling the Ghost Story.

I have to go now. I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Jacklyn. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 28, 2010 - 2:53pm

Hey Chris!

Well, I can kind of understand where you're coming from. In fact, I think maybe I kind of misunderstood what you were saying before. You see me as the light in your life Chris? Oh my goodness, that is so incredibly sweet of you. I feel the same way about you, Chris! I'm so happy you are able to express yourself to me like this. I feel so close to you. I am so glad that I've given you this hope and happiness Chris. I was worried for a bit that my message about your video games wasn't getting through, but I see now I was wrong to doubt you. I can understand why your lonely video game times have provoke such strong memories for you. But the fact that you are strong enough to recognize that you have a new outlook on life is so amazing and inspiring.

Oh Chris, you've made me feel like the most special girl in the world... ;) ;) ;)

Oh my god, you're going to destroy your PS3?? That is amazing, Chris!! So you're going to smash it with a brick? Here's how I suggest you do the video: First, you're going to need to be in costume and with a mask on (remember, since "Jinkies" is the one smashing it, not Chris). Then, on the video, do a close-up of the PS3 intact, and say that you're going to remove the custom cover and hard drive as trophies of your victory over Chris. Video tape yourself removing those parts and putting them aside. Then, take your brick, and bring it down hard on the console. Have the camera show clearly you smashing it, over and over and over. Don't stop until every last part of the console has been ground into shards or plastic and metal. Remember, they're offering a lot of money, so they'll want to see the job done thoroughly and perfectly; make sure it's clearly shown that NOTHING from the console survived (aside from the cover and hard drive, obviously). Then, hold the cover up next to your masked face and give a thumbs up and say something like "you got trolled, Chris." The reason I want you to be so meticulous and thorough about this is because we want them to be so completely ecstatic over this... that after you've received their money, when you make a new video showing how you fooled them all, it will DEVASTATE them.

Who is your friend that you're going to get to help you? Do you mean Samantha? I hope she's able to help you. Although if she can't, maybe you can just set the camera on a stationary surface while you do it. Do you have a tripod for it? That might actually be better than having a person hold the camera, because the video will be much clearer if the view is stationary.

So anyway, I'm glad that you're going to be responsible with your reward money. Paying off your dad and putting much of it in savings is definitely the right thing to do. If you want to get the new PS3, that's definitely cool, you'll certainly have earned the right to splurge a bit on yourself. I never wanted to cut out your video games completely, video games are perfectly fine if you can manage them. But the fact that you're willing to destroy your current one and be without it for a couple days until you get your money shows that YOU are the one in control of them, not the other way around. YOU are the one choosing what to do. I'm so proud of you, Chris.

So your father doesn't really want to help with fishing out your old classmates? Well, like I said, I can help you instead. If you get any phone messages, just give me the phone numbers and tell me what they say and I can help you spot the fakes, look them up to see if they are who they say they are. Same thing with emails - just forward me any emails you get and I can look them over. Your father is probably busy, but I certainly have some time to help, and I'd love to do it for you too. You've been making so many sweet gestures for me recently, it's the least I can do ;)

I can't wait to see my drawing!!! I'm excited to see what you make it out to be. Oh, I feel so happy right now, Chris!!

XOXO

Jackie}}

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|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 9]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 11]]
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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 10]]

Autism Tutorial Part 2

2011-02-15T22:29:54Z

Thatguy: Might be worth noting.

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 2''', [[Chris]] continues his non-interactive extravaganza in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', and advocates that [[autistic]] children receive the same loving care that he did growing up. He then goes off on a tangent about the CWCville universe, before launching into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the [[Internet]]. He ends by calling his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism. He also mentions how trolls are crazy or were molested as children just showing how he doesn't think trolls are normal people which is also the reason why his [[JenkinsJinkies]] disguise didn't work.
==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|fRWy1Ik1M7U}}</Center>

===Transcript===
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to [[Rocky|positively emotionally encourage]] them. And tra-and give them [[Rape#Rape|hugs]], anyways, [[Megan|even if they don't want it]]. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Snorlax|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.

Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of CWCville that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the [[Chris_and_English#Semantics|boxes under here, but they were over there]], on the other side of my [[Chris's Room|room]]. One big city, ''[Subtitle: "The city of Cwcville, VA still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."]'' it was massive, it was great.

Egana-and of course there's also [[Health#Mental_health|therapy, psychiatry]], and special autism places. ''[Subtitle: "Fit in within normal places and have friends who are normal to better influence the autistic person"]'' I highly encourage, ''[Subtitle: "In my opinion, with one autistic person having another autistic or mentally challenged friend."]'' mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, ''[Subtitle: "I feel it is Not beneficial to either, because with mental influences,"]'' like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, ''[Subtitle: "being able to move forward socially will be less likely."]'' I settled in. But never EVER send them to a ''[Subtitle: "Normal friends for Autistic People are Better."]'' mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. ''[Subtitle: "We autistic people have been mistaken as psychopaths in the past , but that is Rarely the case. We are Not Crazy People."]'' I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it! [''Chris's Sackboy visibly reveals [[fangs]]'']

Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also [[White_Knight#Chris_will_reject_your_advice|apparently point online communities and work with locally]].

Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil,]] ''[Subtitle: "These people of the internet who make the world's societies corrupted, look for innocent people to talk ill of..."]'' [[Chris|dark, sloppy, gross, weird]] ''[Subtitle: "greatly."]'' individuals out there, and you can never tell ''[Subtitle: "and they also trick or steal personal and private information, footage and gossip, mostly solely for Laughs at [[ego|our individual]]..."]'' who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the anonymity that is also ''[Subtitle: "expenses."]'' know as the internet. ''[Subtitle: ""LULZ", they call it; "[[Laughs Under Lucricities]]"."]'' They go online talking to random people, ''[Subtitle: "They go by many sub-labels; naturally, they are Anonymous, hiding behind their "Mother's Skirts" like scared..."]'' deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, ''[Subtitle: "children."]'' just so they can drag our once clean names ''[Subtitle: "They each have their own sad, disgusting origins from being molested as children to just being crazy in the head for real."]'' through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!

They are ungrateful ''[Subtitle: "These people seriously need Mental Health Treatments and Therapies of their own."]'' immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even ''[Subtitle: "I became tired of the enduring, emotionally damaging stress from these corrupted people."]'' range from the [[BlueSpike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! ''[Subtitle: "and after all that, I took down my own website personally, including the majority of videos I had on YouTube"]'' I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] ''[Subtitle: "These people also use YouTube against us as well"]'' and decided, took the websites down myself. ''[Subtitle: "On Internet Safety, Keep ALL Private and Personal Information and Footage of yourself to yourself alone."]''

[[Sigh]]

And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! ''[Subtitle: "If you can not consciously, morally, seriously tell a very close relative about it or share it with them."]'' They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your iPods! ''[Subtitle: "It need to stay Offline. Period. This is a terribly Serious Matter: There is Nothing tolaugh about."]'' They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways [''the Sackboy visibly trembles'']. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. Horrifying!

Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites ''[Subtitle: "Not only is Facebook a joke, it is the complete opposite of true Socializing."]'' like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. ''[Subtitle: "Staying behind the ******** monitor like that only makes one more Autistic-Like."]'' The only way to socialize is in real life. ''[Subtitle: "Down with Facebook!!!"]'' [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and [[Women%27s_rights|woman up]] ''[Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"]'' respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!

Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2011-02-14T03:22:13Z

Thatguy: /* Transcript */

'''Autism Tutorial Part 4'''

[[Chris]] describes [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|qZXJ1SO0w58}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson Mr. Thomas Jefferson], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_monroe Mr. James Monroe], and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison Mr. James Madison]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Centre, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their [[Lies|misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything.]] I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[Chris and his Ego|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. I would only lie to protect the other person's feelings out of care and respect. [[Ryan Cash|I]] [[Mike Jackson|AM]] [[Homos|NOT]] [[Megan|A]] [[Kacey|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Homos|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. Snobbish, snooty... to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have [[Mic|one friend]] who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

Autism Tutorial Part 1

2011-02-14T03:18:28Z

Thatguy: /* Transcript */

'''Autism Tutorial Part 1''' is the first in a series of LittleBigPlanet levels Chris uploaded on February 13 2011. Chris once again reads off of [[Wikipedia]]'s [[autism]] article, this time adding his own two cents. Of note, Chris seems to be aware of the accepted cause of autism, and rightly blames [[Barb|his]] [[Bob Chandler|parents]] for it.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|ub8pBJN3Zbo}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]. And I am [[autistic]] – high-functionally autistic. In this animation, with [[Wikipedia]] facts and book diagrams and in my own words and opinions, we will look into autism: What it is, possible causes, and treatments and cures. And how we autistics SHOOOULD be treated and respected [''voice deepens with gravelly rage''] ''in real life social situations.''

First, autism: What is it? In a nutshell, it is a malfunctioning in the neural development that impairs [[Honest Content|social interactions]], [[Speech Impediment|communications]], and restrictive or [[CWC-isms|repetitive behaviors]]. In the brain, autism affects many parts. Autism especially affects the connection between the amygdala, the social and emotional behavioral gland, and the cerebral cortex and maybe cerebellum, the logic and goal-making parts.

The connectors between the matter is called the corpus callosum, which I believe is the most effective. In my theory, a cure may be found in repairing this major component of the brain. The facts also state that autism occurs pre-birth, sadly in mutated genetics within the chromosomes, which can happen when the pregnant mother [[Tobacky|smokes]], [[McDonald's|binges]], takes drugs or certain meds, and other non- or real environmental factors, such as car exhaust. ''Ladies, get off the [[Tobacky|drugs]] NOW.''

Another factor lies in the [[Bob Chandler|father’s]] age upon child conception. The [[Barb|mother’s]] age is not a factor here. DUDES, HAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE LIKE FORTY OR FIFTY! Anyway, the mutated chromosomes can involve deletion, duplication, and/or swapping. Scientists are still researching if- [''abrupt jump-cut'']

Common symptoms of autism include, and should be observed to notice: Little-to-no eye contact, mal-communication with delayed babbling, [[Claw of Fail|unusual gestures]], low responsiveness – try calling your name. At that young age, they seldom respond if they have autism – as well as [[Speech impediment|unsynched atypical vocal patterns]]. They also would have lack of intuition of other people, lack of attention to social stimuli, and little-to-no smiling. Imagination and imaginative play is often blank in autistic minds, but with training they may be able to think in pictures at least, like the famous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin Miss Temple Grandon]. By the way, boys are more affected with autism than girls. That’s just the way it is.

Compulsive behavior, or a type of A.D.D. [[Jack Thaddeus|Attention Difi-Deficit Disorder]], is also common. In worse cases, self-destructive behavior such as self-cutting, hurting others, and bullying possibly, may be apparent. Fortunate for me I do not go into self-destructiveness. I do not hurt myself, and I [[Megan|do]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|not]] [[Ryan Cash|hurt]] [[Clyde Cash|others]]. The worst for me is essentially biting my fingernails… sometimes. Feeling restricted is also common. Staying within their [[Chris's Room|comfort zones]] with realistic behavior – oh, ritualistic behavior, and such. And with repetition in play, we may as well be walking around in circles… for infinity time! And [[Chris|some]] of us actually do.

Parents and guardians should be very watchful and cautious of any autistic symptoms, as they can be obvious by the age of three years old. I myself spoke first at six weeks with the word “monkey”, in an attempt at saying ''“mommy”''. My vocabulary and speech grew great until I stopped talking at one-and-a-half years old, and I did not speak again until I when was seven. The other infant symptoms followed in suit.

A controversy began when they blamed mercury in MMR vaccines. Though it was removed from all vaccines in early 2000, and yet the autism rate still grew over the decade.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|}}

Autism Tutorial Part 3

2011-02-14T00:05:45Z

Thatguy: /* Transcript */

'''Autism Tutorial Part 3'''

[[Chris]] revisits his magical [[high school]] years. He admits that he's bitter about not getting [[china]] in high school, and claims that the school system should've had a part in getting him [[Hanky-Panky|laid]]. He then reenacts his graduation, and rambles about how much his life has sucked since then. Chris is still butthurt over [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]'s treatment of him.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Q11Xw6RgqNQ}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Back in my teenage years at [[Manchester High School]] of Midlothian, [[Virginia]], I really felt emotionally rich, because I had a [[Lies|great number of friends]], the closest and majority of were some sweet girls.

(Long sequence of Chris and a [[gal-pal]] looking at each other and smiling)

My circle of [[gal-pals]] was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for. They understood me, and I understood them. We appreciated each other. We hung out, conversed, and hung out y- between within our classes, like home-ec and, uh, science, and math, and even [[Chris and English|english]], and sometimes we would help each other out. It was the best of times... pretty much. And even though I even had a high school sweetheart like most would, and the quality throughout was great. And would be most appreciated by ''any'' person, autistic or not.

Suddenly though, about my high school years, of which I can only complain about were two things, and I did not realize these til after I graduated. Actually one I realized uh, mid-graduation. But after graduation I realized that I was [[naive]] on the subject of dating throughout high school. The mandatory sexual education class is good for after [[Third Date|date number three]] and so, but how do we even get to date number one? That's my question. I really would've appreciated a mandatory [[Dating education|DATING EDUCATION]] CLASS, alongside sexual education. Also, [[F Abstinance|abstinence]] is a JOKE. The virgin-breaker needs to happen BEFORE adulthood arrives, because being an adult [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] SUUUCKS. Even for us autistics and [[Slow-in-the-mind|mentally challenged]].

And the second thing about my high school years that can- can- I would complain about is my high school graduation ceremony. It was a very depressing day, it was raining, it was dark, it was dreary. Anyway, I went got- went up and got my diploma, and uh, I did not shake anybody's hand. It- I mean, there were important people there, I did not shake anybody's hand, I just grabbed my diploma, [[Fail|cried then, ran off the stage]], went into a back room, sat at a- sat at a table by myself for a little while. Then my best gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen|Tif]] met up with me and uh, she made me feel a little better. (voice turns wistful) Really love to, uh, see her again, at least [[Rape|hang out]] or a little while.

My high school years were the best and most emotionally ''encouraging'' for me. But after graduation in 2000 and moving back to lame [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersrville]]... it was all downhill for me. My adult years ''suck''. And I'm soon to turn 29. I left my heart back at Manchester High in Midlothian.

I grad- I also graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with a uh, degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]], but that- and that graduation went better for me, because I did not have so many fr- I did not have many friends back there. And plus, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] just plain hated me. ''(voice creaks on the verge of recognizing own faults)'' Obvi- And obviously I uh, talked ill about her in [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] that I [[Chris and art|drew]], portrayed her as a witch... ''(voice fills with self-righteous rationalization)'' She made it apparent that it was illegal to find true love in the state of [[Virginia]]! And that [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia was a state for VIRGINS]]... ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) She still ticked me off, I mean, even after I apologized to her for portraying her the way that I did in my books, she would not accept my apology and she banned me from the grounds of Piedmont Virginia Community College! That's a- one hell of a thank you for an apology, or an apology acceptance. Obviously she did not accept my apology. I hope she gets fired, period! And I also hope that the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby Place]] in [[Charlottesville]]... [[Chris and anger|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! [[Death threats|ALONG WITH]] [[Michael Snyder|MICHAEL SNYDER]]!

Agh, that's all my ranting for right now.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|}}

Autism Tutorial Part 2

2011-02-14T00:03:00Z

Thatguy: /* Transcript */

'''Autism Tutorial Part 2'''

[[Chris]] advocates giving [[autistic]] children the same loving care he received growing up, and launches into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the internet. Chris calls his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|fRWy1Ik1M7U}}</Center>

===Transcript===
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to positively emotionally encourage them. And tra-and give them hugs, anyways, even if they don't want it. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Snorlax|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.

Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of [[CWCville]] that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the boxes under here, but they were over there, on the other side of my [[Chris's Room|room]]. One big city, it was massive, it was great.

Egana-and of course there's also therapy, psychiatry, and special autism places. I highly encourage mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, I so did. But never EVER send them to a mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it.

Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also apparently point online communities and work with locally.

Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil, dark, sloppy, gross, weird individuals]] out there, and you can never tell who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the nominite that is also know as the internet. They go online talking to random people, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, just so they can drag our once clean names through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!

They are ungrateful immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even range from the [[BlueSpike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] and decided, took the websites down myself.

[[Sigh]]

And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your i-pods! They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. [[Nudes|Horrifying]]!

Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. The only way to socialize is in real life. [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and woman up respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!

Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|}}

Autism Tutorial Part 5

2011-02-13T22:52:02Z

Thatguy:

'''Autism Tutorial Part 5'''

[[Chris]] demonstrates how to "properly" introduce an [[autistic]] person to a new friend, but all it really does is ascertain that his only motivation for socializing with other people, is that doing so theoretically heightens his chances of getting that [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]] his [[duck]] so desperately hungers for. He then reenacts, yet again, an assault of [[Clyde Cash]].
==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|uvPZbDwYGjE}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Rather than a voice-over, the first segment of the video is a text-only conversation between sack-Chris and several sack-imaginary girls.)''

Un-named Sack-Imaginary Girl: Nonette, this is [[Christian Chandler]], but you may call him Chris. Chris, this here is Nonette 8ethon.

Sack-Chris: Hey Nonette, you are a pretty woman, and I am happy to meet you.

Nonette: ''(clearly needs glasses)'' Well, I think you have a very good face, and I am delighted to meet you too.

''(Chris's melodic voice takes over narration for the remainder of the video)''

Now ''this'' is what I'm talking about for us autistic people. We are too shy by default! But on earning our trust, or if we feel comfortable or like the other person on our indid-ividual instincts, we will open up. And to start us right, we need either: A) The other person to approach and talk to us, upon their own will, or B) have our own trusted friend or family introduce us to other people of our respective ages.

In this scenario, it was a great match for me, for A) she is a [[Boyfriend-free girl|single woman, without a boyfriend]]: B) she is pretty, and easy on my eyes. And C) this woman I could feel comfortable with, and feel a good and honest aura from her. From this a good friendship, and hopefully a f- a long relationship will stay between us for the long time. (Voice deepens with hatred) Do not bring me down here, naysayers and [[Trolls|haters]].

Lets look at a few other scenarios of similar to opposite results. Obviously, most women: Easy on my eyes, good-humored, sweet, pretty... [Niggo|black]], white, [[Punchy|Asian]], Christian, [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], Buddhism, I have no, c- I have no care about skin color or religion, whatever. I will be kind to all of them, respectful and welcoming them, to have them in my circle of friends. Lesbians, too... Just don't get on my bad side here.

Men, my own... ''kind'', on the other hand, I would feel most hesitant towards. Because I have had fewer male friends in my life, and I have had mostly bad experiences around them. ''Plus'', and this is very important, in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over ''men''. And considering my life experiences and my own opinion, I totally agree with that. If the, uh, individual, however, offers a, uh, friendly gesture, and does not make me [[Chris and anger|angry]] or make me feel most uncomfortable, or ill at ease, I will be willing to give him a chance and welcome him as a friend, and nothing more.

However, going back to the mean people of the internet... Upon meeting one of them in real life - and I will be able to recognize them sure enough, at least with basic instincts - I will not hold back my endured rage. Just ask this crying [[Clyde]]. ''(A scene of a livid Sack-Chris smacking Sack-Clyde follows before the narration continues.)''

Physically and [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally challenged]] individuals will vary more. Good results upon if they are easy to look at, if they are able to speak clearly, even ''slooowly'', that I can easily understand them. And now, uh, the other part, the other side, whoa, back off! I'm spooked if you are ugly, seriously disfigured, especially in the face, that you [[Chris and English|mumble more than you speak]], you're [[Speech impediment|hard to understand]] at all. It is nothing personal, and I apologize for anyone who feels an unease after hearing what I just said, but its just the way I feel. That's all.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|}}

Autism Tutorial Extra

2011-02-13T22:33:01Z

Thatguy:

{{quote|'''Ja!'''|Hans Asperger}}

'''Autism Tutorial Extra''' is a video created by [[Chris]] where he proves, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|once again]] that he's in complete denial of what the [[Asperger syndrome]] really is.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|Pu75tzrwLAU}}</Center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:Hans_asperger.jpg|thumb|right|Dr. Hans Asperger was a famed pediatrician whose work to improve the quality of life for autistic children earned him international renown and the admiration of thousands. In this video, Chris beats him up because he doesn't like his last name.]]
And now, ladies and gentlemen, because apparently after you decided to watch last part--after watching the Autism Tutorial, we have a special guest for you today! Please put your hands together for a reasonably ''(unintelligible)'', Mr. Hans Asperger!

(Hans Asperger is seen at the far end of the stage. He has gigantic bulging eyes and wears a crown. Chris walks over to join him, standing [[Homos|almost intimately close]] to shake his hand, as a backdrop and desk fall from the sky to complete the talk-show atmosphere. The man recording the video chuckles in amusement. After Chris walks over to his desk, Hans smiles and waves to an audience silent as the grave.)

I am your host, Christian Chandler, on this '''[[Duck|short]]''' talk show. And this is Mr. Hans Asperger. Now, let's talk about him for a bit: Now, apparently--Mr. Hans Asperger. From the Vienna University Hospital in 1938--Oh, how ''recent!''--you gave a lecture on "[[Chris|Autistic Psychopaths]]", after investigating a mild form of Autism. Isn't that right, Hans?

(Hans turns to face Chris.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(The man recording chuckles, and continues to snicker through Chris's next line.)

And also, apparently, this separate diagnosis, as it is quoted, was not recognized until 1981. Only one year before I was born. Although coined from your name, Mr. Asperger, apparently a Mr. Leo Kenner took the study much further and established the term "Early Infantile Autism". Do you applaud Mr. Kenner for his work?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(The recorder chuckles.)

''I see''. Now, in my feeling alone--possibly mutual with others--the name Aspergers. It strikes me badly, and I feel offended just by hearing the word. Do you feel I have the right to my own opinions and feelings as an individual person, Hans?

'''Hans:''' Ja! (It is clear by now that Hans does not understand English.)

Thank you very much, good sir. Now, do you feel--do you feel bad about having a name that sounds like a bad cut of cow meat?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you feel that I, Christian Weston Chandler, do not deserve any blame or punishment for having an opinion of a single word, such as Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Do you have a general understanding about how I feel about you now?

(Something falls from the sky and lands atop Chris's desk.)

'''Hans:''' Ja!

(Chris walks over to Hans again, once again intimately close.)

Are you ''positive'' you really understand how I feel about you, Mr. Hans Asperger?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

[[Random Access Humor|Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!

Yeah?

'''Hans:''' Ja!]]

(Chris is suddenly very annoyed. He bitch-slaps Hans to the ground, to the delight of the recorder. It is also revealed that Hans has a tail. Chris yells something unintelligible, possibly "Fuck off!". Hans quickly regains his footing, facing away from Chris and looking over his shoulder in terror.)

I feel dislike towards you! ''(The chuckles of the recorder are very clear)'' For selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism! And with a name like Asperger! I feel it only makes us Autistic kind sound ''even worse!'' ''Aspergers.'' You ''(unintelligible)''. Autism is autism! And in your research you linked it up with psychopaths! I feel even more offended at ''that!'' Now get out of my sight!

'''Hans:''' Ja! (Hans quickly runs off the stage.)

(Chris looks out over the audience, crossing his hands in front of him.)

I do apologize for that, uh, rude outburst, [[Trolls|folks]]. But then again, that was just the way I felt and have been feeling about the word "Asperger" since I heard it a few years ago. It is my second least favorite word, where my first least favorite of all time is "[[Naive]]". Again, I apologize if I came off as bad to anybody, or made them feel bad, for the way I acted. But then again, I do get emotional and carried away sometimes. Thank you for watching, and have a good, safe, and blessed day.

(The game cuts to Hans standing in some sort of Level Completion area, still terrified. He stands there, legs quaking, as the screen behind him rattles off the achievements. Some tiny explosions of what appear to be glass go off around Hans's head as the video ends.)

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Extra|Current]]|}}

Autism Tutorial Part 6

2011-02-13T22:25:50Z

Thatguy: Links, links everywhere!

'''Autism Tutorial Part 6'''

The sixth entry introduces Nik, whom might be the new [[Wallflower]]. [[Chris]] proves that he's not satisfied with friendship. This devolves into a rant that echoes an earlier sentiment that Chris wants a cure for [[autism]]. The video ends with him finally returning the dance to [[Tiffany Gowen]] he expected to give her last year, via a [[LittleBigPlanet]] cutscene. Despite thousands of levels of free dancing sackboys to steal, Chris awkwardly (and possibly realistically) portrays the dance with one controller for almost a minute and a half. The level doesn't end properly, proving Chris's [[Fail|mastery]] of LittleBigPlanet's editing software.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|xga0M-h1tIE}}</Center>

===Transcript===

At this point, you would think I would be hap- a happier [[autistic]] person, right? Finally having the wom- the woman of my life to be here by my side, and care about each other and such for the rest of our lives? ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) But, the truth is, for real... Mic and I, we don't hang out in person as much as we should be. Only phone conversations, and the few times we did hang out. And she does not know that many people here in [[Charlottesville]]. All things appreciated in our friendship... Mic is just ''too busy'' to help me best. (stress-sigh)

''(A text message appears reading "I'm sorry, Mic. You did what you could, and I always will appreciate it all. Good work, and thank you, friend.)''

Another thing about us autistic people, we do not like to be [[Chris|alone]] quote-unquote twenty-four-seven. We need the emotional support of a [[Gal-Pal|true friend]] constantly and in person. Also on another note, apparently government funding goes more towards physical health over [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental health]]. The brain is a part of our body, and not just any part, the most vital part! Why do we treat the rest of our body parts, which essentially ''alone'' are [[Chris|brainless]], better than our one actual central processing unit that is not brainless? As a part of the body, funds should be equally distributed, or equally divided, between both [[Duck|physical]] AND [[Autism|mental]] health. So that the cures for mental illnesses, including autism, can be found!

It just makes me feel sad and furious at this time. I for one [[Lies|actually appreciate]] a true and full good quality friendship. Yet in a world full of [[Chris|sick-minded]] people one can only detest, I feel so [[Stress|paranoid]] of a number of [[Trolls|people]]! And I feel uncertain of most anyone I could ever trust, an- or feel at ease around! The social [[Homos|phobias]], I can no longer [[Chris and Religion|tolerate]]. Which is why, unlike the autistic people, who pitifully accept it as a forever-lasting curse, I for one seek a cure! On the day a resolution to re-establishing all connections in our brains, with thorough corpus callosum repair, and such, I, Christian Weston Chandler will be there among the first in line to take the life-changing autism cure I have desired for soo long! To establish a quicker, more socially-active mind, a great sense of self-esteem, a great sense of self-reliance, a great sense of self-confidence, total independence, and freedom from the thorns of autism of any kind or sssort!

...The life... only an autistic person can ever dream of. I am Christian Weston Chandler, and this has been an autism tutorial. Thank you, and have a good and safe day.

''(A text-only section follows as Sack-Chris fondles and [[Rape|gropes]] a poor defenseless Sack-Tiffany, who struggles in vain to free herself from Sack-Chris's clutches.)''

A little Extra for the Real Tiff, who Graduated with me from Manchester High's Class of 2000. Among all of my Gal-friends, she understood me the most. I really, truly would love a chance to hang out with her and talk and whatever. It really would mean a lot to me. If you are watching this, Tiff, I miss you a lot: Please, come and hang out with me for a while.

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2011-02-13T22:14:36Z

Thatguy: More links, of course.

'''Autism Tutorial Part 4'''

[[Chris]] describes [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|qZXJ1SO0w58}}</Center>

===Transcript===

(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson Mr. Thomas Jefferson], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Phinney_Munroe Mr. James Munroe], and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison Mr. James Madison]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Centre, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their [[Lies|misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything.]] I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[Chris and his Ego|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. I would only lie to protect the other person's feelings out of care and respect. [[Ryan Cash|I]] [[Mike Jackson|AM]] [[Homos|NOT]] [[Megan|A]] [[Kacey|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Homos|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. Snobbish, snooty... to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have one friend who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend-Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2011-02-13T22:12:47Z

Thatguy: More links, of course.

'''Autism Tutorial Part 4'''

[[Chris]] describes [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|qZXJ1SO0w58}}</Center>

===Transcript===

(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson Mr. Thomas Jefferson], [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Phinney_Munroe Mr. James Munroe], and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison Mr. James Madison]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the [[Fashion Square Shopping Centre]], should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their [[Lies|misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything.]] I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[Chris and his Ego|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. I would only lie to protect the other person's feelings out of care and respect. [[Ryan Cash|I]] [[Mike Jackson|AM]] [[Homos|NOT]] [[Megan|A]] [[Kacey|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Homos|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. Snobbish, snooty... to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have one friend who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend-Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)

Autism Tutorial Part 3

2011-02-13T21:52:37Z

Thatguy: Gotta add this too.

'''Autism Tutorial Part 3'''

[[Chris]] revisits his magical [[high school]] years. He admits that he's bitter about not getting [[china]] in high school, and claims that the school system should've had a part in getting him [[Hanky-Panky|laid]]. He then reenacts his graduation, and rambles about how much his life has sucked since then. Chris is still butthurt over [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]'s treatment of him.

==Video==

{{#ev:youtube|Q11Xw6RgqNQ}}

===Transcript===

Back in my teenage years at [[Manchester High School]] of Midlothian, [[Virginia]], I really felt emotionally rich, because I had a [[Lies|great number of friends]], the closest and majority of were some sweet girls.

(Long sequence of Chris and a [[gal-pal]] looking at each other and smiling)

My circle of [[gal-pals]] was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for. They understood me, and I understood them. We appreciated each other. We hung out, conversed, and hung out y- between within our classes, like home-ec and, uh, science, and math, and even [[Chris and English|english]], and sometimes we would help each other out. It was the best of times... pretty much. And even though I even had a high school sweetheart like most would, and the quality throughout was great. And would be most appreciated by ''any'' person, autistic or not.

Suddenly though, about my high school years, of which I can only complain about were two things, and I did not realize these til after I graduated. Actually one I realized uh, mid-graduation. But after graduation I realized that I was [[naive]] on the subject of dating throughout high school. The mandatory sexual education class is good for after [[Third Date|date number three]] and so, but how do we even get to date number one? That's my question. I really would've appreciated a mandatory [[Dating education|DATING EDUCATION]] CLASS, alongside sexual education. Also, [[F Abstinance|abstinence]] is a JOKE. The virgin-breaker needs to happen BEFORE adulthood arrives, because being an adult [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] SUUUCKS. Even for us autistics and [[Slow-in-the-mind|mentally challenged]].

And the second thing about my high school years that can- can- I would complain about is my high school graduation ceremony. It was a very depressing day, it was raining, it was dark, it was dreary. Anyway, I went got- went up and got my diploma, and uh, I did not shake anybody's hand. It- I mean, there were important people there, I did not shake anybody's hand, I just grabbed my diploma, [[Fail|cried then, ran off the stage]], went into a back room, sat at a- sat at a table by myself for a little while. Then my best gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen|Tif]] met up with me and uh, she made me feel a little better. (voice turns wistful) Really love to, uh, see her again, at least [[Rape|hang out]] or a little while.

My high school years were the best and most emotionally ''encouraging'' for me. But after graduation in 2000 and moving back to lame [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersrville]]... it was all downhill for me. My adult years ''suck''. And I'm soon to turn 29. I left my heart back at Manchester High in Midlothian.

I grad- I also graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with a uh, degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]], but that- and that graduation went better for me, because I did not have so many fr- I did not have many friends back there. And plus, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] just plain hated me. (voice creaks on the verge of recognizing own faults) Obvi- And obviously I uh, talked ill about her in [[Sonichu (comic)comics that I [[Chris and art|drew]], portrayed her as a witch... (voice fills with self-righteous rationalization) She made it apparent that it was illegal to find true love in the state of [[Virginia]]! And that [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia was a state for VIRGINS]]... ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) She still ticked me off, I mean, even after I apologized to her for portraying her the way that I did in my books, she would not accept my apology and she banned me from the grounds of Piedmont Virginia Community College! That's a- one hell of a thank you for an apology, or an apology acceptance. Obviously she did not accept my apology. I hope she gets fired, period! And I also hope that the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby Place]] in [[Charlottesville]]... [[Chris and anger|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! [[Death threats|ALONG WITH]] [[Michael Snyder|MICHAEL SNYDER]]!

Agh, that's all my ranting for right now.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]}}

Autism Tutorial Part 3

2011-02-13T21:51:03Z

Thatguy: MOAR LINKS!

'''Autism Tutorial Part 3'''

[[Chris]] revisits his magical [[high school]] years. He admits that he's bitter about not getting [[china]] in high school, and claims that the school system should've had a part in getting him [[Hanky-Panky|laid]]. He then reenacts his graduation, and rambles about how much his life has sucked since then. Chris is still butthurt over [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]'s treatment of him.

==Video==

{{#ev:youtube|Q11Xw6RgqNQ}}

===Transcript===

Back in my teenage years at [[Manchester High School]] of Midlothian, [[Virginia]], I really felt emotionally rich, because I had a [[Lies|great number of friends]], the closest and majority of were some sweet girls.

(Long sequence of Chris and a [[gal-pal]] looking at each other and smiling)

My circle of [[gal-pals]] was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for. They understood me, and I understood them. We appreciated each other. We hung out, conversed, and hung out y- between within our classes, like home-ec and, uh, science, and math, and even [[Chris and English|english]], and sometimes we would help each other out. It was the best of times... pretty much. And even though I even had a high school sweetheart like most would, and the quality throughout was great. And would be most appreciated by ''any'' person, autistic or not.

Suddenly though, about my high school years, of which I can only complain about were two things, and I did not realize these til after I graduated. Actually one I realized uh, mid-graduation. But after graduation I realized that I was [[naive]] on the subject of dating throughout high school. The mandatory sexual education class is good for after [[Third Date|date number three]] and so, but how do we even get to date number one? That's my question. I really would've appreciated a mandatory [[Dating education|DATING EDUCATION]] CLASS, alongside sexual education. Also, [[F Abstinance|abstinence]] is a JOKE. The virgin-breaker needs to happen BEFORE adulthood arrives, because being an adult [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] SUUUCKS. Even for us autistics and [[Slow-in-the-mind|mentally challenged]].

And the second thing about my high school years that can- can- I would complain about is my high school graduation ceremony. It was a very depressing day, it was raining, it was dark, it was dreary. Anyway, I went got- went up and got my diploma, and uh, I did not shake anybody's hand. It- I mean, there were important people there, I did not shake anybody's hand, I just grabbed my diploma, [[Fail|cried then, ran off the stage]], went into a back room, sat at a- sat at a table by myself for a little while. Then my best gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen|Tif]] met up with me and uh, she made me feel a little better. (voice turns wistful) Really love to, uh, see her again, at least [[Rape|hang out]] or a little while.

My high school years were the best and most emotionally ''encouraging'' for me. But after graduation in 2000 and moving back to lame [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersrville]]... it was all downhill for me. My adult years ''suck''. And I'm soon to turn 29. I left my heart back at Manchester High in Midlothian.

I grad- I also graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with a uh, degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]], but that- and that graduation went better for me, because I did not have so many fr- I did not have many friends back there. And plus, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] just plain hated me. (voice creaks on the verge of recognizing own faults) Obvi- And obviously I uh, talked ill about her in [[Sonichu (comic)comics that I [[Chris and art|drew]], portrayed her as a witch... (voice fills with self-righteous rationalization) She made it apparent that it was illegal to find true love in the state of [[Virginia]]! And that [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia was a state for VIRGINS]]... ([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) She still ticked me off, I mean, even after I apologized to her for portraying her the way that I did in my books, she would not accept my apology and she banned me from the grounds of Piedmont Virginia Community College! That's a- one hell of a thank you for an apology, or an apology acceptance. Obviously she did not accept my apology. I hope she gets fired, period! And I also hope that the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby Place]] in [[Charlottesville]]... [[Chris and anger|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! [[Death threats|ALONG WITH]] [[Michael Snyder|MICHAEL SNYDER]]!

Agh, that's all my ranting for right now.

Autism Tutorial Part 2

2011-02-13T21:26:33Z

Thatguy: Added MOAR links.

'''Autism Tutorial Part 2'''

[[Chris]] advocates giving [[autistic]] children the same loving care he received growing up, and launches into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the internet. Chris calls his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Autism Tutorial Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fRWy1Ik1M7U}}
| stardate = 13 February 2011
| subject = {{Video games|Video Games}}, {{Autism|Aspergers}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| previous = [[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]
| next = [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]

}}

===Transcript===
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to positively emotionally encourage them. And tra-and give them hugs, anyways, even if they don't want it. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Snorlax|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.

Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of [[CWCville]] that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the boxes under here, but they were over there, on the other side of my [[Chris's Room|room]]. One big city, it was massive, it was great.

Egana-and of course there's also therapy, psychiatry, and special autism places. I highly encourage mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, I so did. But never EVER send them to a mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it.

Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also apparently point online communities and work with locally.

Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil, dark, sloppy, gross, weird individuals]] out there, and you can never tell who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the nominite that is also know as the internet. They go online talking to random people, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, just so they can drag our once clean names through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!

They are ungrateful immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even range from the [[Bluespike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] and decided, took the websites down myself.

[[Sigh]]

And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your i-pods! They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. [[Nudes|Horrifying]]!

Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. The only way to socialize is in real life. [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and woman up respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!

Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

Autism Tutorial Part 1

2011-02-13T21:07:42Z

Thatguy: Added links.

'''Autism Tutorial Part 1''' is the first in a series of LittleBigPlanet levels Chris uploaded on February 13 2011. Chris once again reads off of [[Wikipedia]]'s [[autism]] article, this time adding his own two cents. Of note, Chris seems to be aware of the accepted cause of autism, and rightly blames [[Barb|his]] [[Bob Chandler|parents]] for it.

==Video==

{{#ev:youtube|ub8pBJN3Zbo}}

===Transcript===

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias Christopher. And I am [[autistic]] – high-functionally autistic. In this animation, with [[Wikipedia]] facts and book diagrams and in my own words and opinions, we will look into autism: What it is, possible causes, and treatments and cures. And how we autistics SHOOOULD be treated and respected (voice deepens with gravelly rage) ''in real life social situations.''

First, autism: What is it? In a nutshell, it is a malfunctioning in the neural development that impairs [[Honest Content|social interactions]], [[Speech Impediment|communications]], and restrictive or [[CWC-isms|repetitive behaviors]]. In the brain, autism affects many parts. Autism especially affects the connection between the amygdala, the social and emotional behavioral gland, and the cerebral cortex and maybe cerebellum, the logic and goal-making parts.

The connectors between the matter is called the corpus callosum, which I believe is the most effective. In my theory, a cure may be found in repairing this major component of the brain. The facts also state that autism occurs pre-birth, sadly in mutated genetics within the chromosomes, which can happen when the pregnant mother smokes, binges, takes drugs or certain meds, and other non- or real environmental factors, such as car exhaust. ''Ladies, get off the [[Tobacky|drugs]] NOW.''

Another factor lies in the [[Bob Chandler|father’s]] age upon child conception. The [[Barb|mother’s]] age is not a factor here. DUDES, HAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE LIKE FORTY OR FIFTY! Anyway, the mutated chromosomes can involve deletion, duplication, and/or swapping. Scientists are still researching if- (abrupt jump-cut)

Common symptoms of autism include, and should be observed to notice: Little-to-no eye contact, mal-communication with delayed babbling, unusual gestures, low responsiveness – try calling your name. At that young age, they seldom respond if they have autism – as well as unsynched atypical vocal patterns. They also would have lack of intuition of other people, lack of attention to social stimuli, and little-to-no smiling. Imagination and imaginative play is often blank in autistic minds, but with training they may be able to think in pictures at least, like the famous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin Miss Temple Grandon]. By the way, boys are more affected with autism than girls. That’s just the way it is.

Compulsive behavior, or a type of A.D.D. [[Jack Thaddeus|Attention Difi-Deficit Disorder]], is also common. In worse cases, self-destructive behavior such as self-cutting, hurting others, and bullying possibly, may be apparent. Fortunate for me I do not go into self-destructiveness. I do not hurt myself, and I [[Megan|do]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|not]] [[Ryan Cash|hurt]] [[Clyde Cash|others]]. The worst for me is essentially biting my fingernails… sometimes. Feeling restricted is also common. Staying within their [[Chris's Room|comfort zones]] with realistic behavior – oh, ritualistic behavior, and such. And with repetition in play, we may as well be walking around in circles… for infinity time! And [[Chris|some]] of us actually do.

Parents and guardians should be very watchful and cautious of any autistic symptoms, as they can be obvious by the age of three years old. I myself spoke first at six weeks with the word “monkey”, in an attempt at saying ''“mommy”''. My vocabulary and speech grew great until I stopped talking at one-and-a-half years old, and I did not speak again until I when was seven. The other infant symptoms followed in suit.

A controversy began when they blamed mercury in MMR vaccines. Though it was removed from all vaccines in early 2000, and yet the autism rate still grew over the decade.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]}}
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub8pBJN3Zbo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub8pBJN3Zbo

CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial

2011-02-13T20:51:04Z

Thatguy: Added links. Not many but whatever.

'''CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial''' is a video that Chris uploaded to the LittleBigPlanet Community on the 9th of [[February 2011|February, 2011]]. In it, Chris details how to build and use a collector's case.

==Video==

{{#ev:youtube|oHh9cS34wDk}}

===Transcript===

''{As Chris speaks, Sonichu's mouth moves more or less in sync}''

Hello, and welcome to the tutorial of the Collector's Case in [[LittleBigPlanet]], originally created by Christian Weston Chandler. I'm your host, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], and today we are going to tour the Collector's Case, which was originally created in LittleBigPlanet, but now being revamped, in LittleBigPlanet 2!

Back in the first LittleBigPlanet, we were limited to using chains, pulleys, and Disolve Material to hide and store our prizes we either created, or collected, over da community. But now, thanks to LittleBigPlanet 2, we now have another option: the drawers!

If you recall the arcade level in LittleBigPlanet 2, which is the first level of the final zone of the game, you will notice the arcade machines, where if you play the mini-games a little bit, you would unlock a prize, which would drop from the top of the machine. That's essentially called a "drawer system". And I use that technology... similarly, here in the... LBT-- LittleBigPlanet 2 version of the Collector's Case. Originally, I was only able to offer four tools for the Collector's Case. Which were, the uh, upper, middle and lower sections, of course including the introductory one with the entrance... [something] the sets of boxes. And also the Disolve Shelves, as well as the uh... yeah, the other set, including the elevators. Which were rods, and sponges. And for da tutorial, we will be looking at, and examining... with inspection parts, with collector- of the Collector's Case, as well as the individual options available then and now.

Okay, before we go up, we'll talk about the individual parts. Disolve Parts, Dislove Shelves. Put your memorables behind these, and you can drop 'em down all at once. You can either, uh, put the bubbles in the top, or remove the front temporarily, by moving it forward and then sticking it back after you put the bubbles in place. One bubble for each square. And the shelves here, they have a thin layer on the front and a thin layer on the back. An inner-outer switch, which you- which is obvious right there, check your tutorials on that. And this box- and the bigger box, which goes into the... which these small boxes go into the bigger box. Two layers - one thin, one thick. The thinner ones will keep the, uh... will keep the shelves in place after you pull 'em outward. And of course, then again, you wanna make sure you pull the shelves- the front of the shelves- the front of the drawer outward, so you can stick your bubbles in there. Shrinking may apply, because there are no holes on top of these boxes.

Okay, so, we are in da boxes. Yep. We gonna go look at da boxes... Yep. Press a button, any button... There's a key. Pull a lever... Anything you want! It's your box! Puttin' your box together... Hold onto it, swing around, collect da bubbles! Bubbles all down... New message! Make 'em drop, drop 'em as you go. Oh and of course, you don't want the ball and chain to get in the way, to prevent the uh, shelves from opening up, or making the bubbles difficult to drop. Make sure you have a scoreboard at the end, so you can finish it up. Aaand don't let conformity get in the way, decorating's good. Look at all this fun stuff!

Take the elevator up, dun de dun de dun... And, swing around, have fun... Weeeeee! Also, a good idea - smart presentations of the items. So you know what's in the bubbles. Better idea - stickers are also good too! And of course, you should also, uh, recommended... put the actual copy of the item IN the level. Outside of a bubble, especially if they're copy-protected. Yeah.

So anyway, that's essentially it for the, uh... stuff. So yeah. You can also back- You can also back these up onto your hard drive, or put 'em up on the internet! Do what you want! [[PS3 History Level|Yayyyy]]! Everybody have a safe dayyyy! Enjoy yourselves, and the Collector's Cases I put together for youuu! [[Homo|Yayyyy]]!

User:Thatguy

2011-02-09T00:42:15Z

Thatguy:

My page I guess. I'll mostly be adding links and fixing small grammar errors.

{{collapsible|Userboxes|
{{Britfag}}
{{Troper}}
{{White}}
{{Asexual}}
{{JERK}}
{{Atheist}}
{{Observer}}
{{Hex-Box}}
{{PS3}}
}}

LittleBigPlanet

2011-01-28T23:06:48Z

Thatguy: /* LittleBigPlanet 2 */ 'May as well.

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|'LittleBiGPlanet; it is a Planet that is Little, it is a Planet that is Big. LittleBiGPlanet.' A motto for the game I made up.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8]]</ref>}}
[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is [[Honor Roll|intelligent]], [[Random access humor|witty]], [[Fail|successful]], [[Nudes|handsome]], [[Monthly Tugboat|wealthy]] and [[Attraction Sign|charming]], as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both [[Homos|gay men]], Fry does not engage in [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|self-loathing]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|closet dwelling]].]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s [[Speech impediment|marble-filled mouth]]) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[lie|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an ''LBP'' spokesmanchild, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

==Chris and ''LBP''==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of [[2008]], and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the [[Internet]] for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sackboy," has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, as well as every single game add-on available in the [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads#LittleBigPlanet|PSN Store]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the ''LBP'' level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[HEXbox]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how videogames work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by Stephen Fry, a well-known [[homos|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. It's not surprising that the LBP community is one of the few online communities Chris has gotten into voluntarily. However, just like in the case of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] and PS3 boards in general, his personality and antics have not helped him to earn friends there.

Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his [[Sonichu]] levels several weeks later under grounds of "[[Copyright]] Infringement." This was not enough to get him banned, however, and the levels are back in the servers.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make [[Sonichu]]. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, [[Women's rights|SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS]].

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my [[Cwcipedia]] at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony did not respond.

==Chris' ''LittleBigPlanet'' creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and [[Chris and camerawork|the videos]]. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have a mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same minimum-effort approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of them have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A Sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled "BugerTime" Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' and the [[1992]] arcade game ''[[Wikipedia:|BurgerTime|BurgerTime]]''??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eighteen times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the Sonichu level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his "wonderful" recreations of the [[PS3]], [[PSP]] and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

After the release of ''LittleBigPlanet 2'', Chris republished the level as "LBP 2 Collecter's Case" (sic). It truly showcases all of the highly innovative new features of the sequel - namely, its backwards compatibility. Chris's hoarding tendencies also just can't be kept in check.

===First Date Level===

Made on Valentine's Day [[2009]] and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "rollercoaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' extreme loops, passing by some of the [[Homos|gaudiest pink trees]] in existence. Once these ten seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take [[Nudes|pictures]] of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the '[[McDonald's|romantic dinner]]' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|To Jackie, with Love]].

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure-inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at '[[Sonic]] speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

"Rescuing [[Kacey]]" was made in [[November 2009]] and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the infamous [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down [[Liquid Chris]] who is allegedly holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid- just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day 2009 which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]
"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] on 9 [[February 2010]], and it's based on the compelling prose written by Chris and his latest [[gal-pal]] [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Chris promised a full version, though judging by Chris's previous track record and the fact that Chris's relationship with the Wallflower came to end as a direct result of the release of the level preview (which inadvertently allowed legions of trolls to learn her real name), the full level will likely not be completed. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy sidestory.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E</ref>
 

==''LittleBigPlanet 2''==
[[File:Littlebigplanet2-boxart.jpg|thumb|Little Pig Blanket 2]]

''LittleBigPlanet 2'' was released on 18 [[January 2011]], precipitating a still-deeper retreat into the [[PS3|hugbox]]. Chris pre-ordered the Collector's Edition six months in advance after trading in "9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP and 4 DS Games", all of which only covered about half the price.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 7]]</ref>
 

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

* [http://lbp.me/u/Sonichu Chris's LBP profile] (or at least it ''would'' be there, if he actually cared about his billion-strong fanbase)
* [http://lbp.me/search?q=Sonichu Sonichu creations on LBP] (including Chris's true original creations and some fascinating fan creations)
*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Talk:100 2357.MOV

2010-12-14T01:26:19Z

Thatguy:

{{Not A Forum}}
Ohhh Snap i can't wait for the Shit storm [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 12:24, 22 November 2010 (PST)

Should this article include links to other psuedo-ragequit incidents?--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 12:55, 22 November 2010 (PST)

So...anyone want to place bets how long THIS ragequit's going to last? [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 13:55, 22 November 2010 (PST)
:I'd give it about a month. It's getting cold out, so he won't be able to go out in the real world as much as he would like to. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 14:00, 22 November 2010 (PST)
::Unless his blubber keeps him warm in the winter. You know, like a hairless walrus with really bad "fangs" and the stench of fast food and shame around him (Well, the shame of others anyway, we know he has none himself). I think that's enough from me for a bit: I'd rather not take all the cheap shots. [[User:Airrider1|Airrider1]] 14:07, 22 November 2010 (PST)

I called the last time he ragequit the internet, I'm gonna say a week or two before Christmas. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 15:35, 22 November 2010 (PST)

Anyone know if Jackie Broke up with him, to induce this internet quitting?--[[User:CaseHa|CaseHa]] 06:59, 23 November 2010 (PST)
:1. Chris found out she was a troll. 2. Chris forgot all about her. 3. Chris has only quit another website he doesn't like and is still in contact with Jackie. --[[User:Thatguy|Thatguy]] 23:42, 23 November 2010 (PST)

Could someone put a counter on the front page to record how long this sixth "Leaving the Internet!" will last? --[[User:JM1987|JM1987]] 18:06, 24 November 2010 (PST)

Who is he addressing when he says "fuck you most"? Is it the audience? Is he actually realizing that he has no fanbase? --[[User:GrotchManchowder|GrotchManchowder]], 23:00, 30 November 2010 (EST)

Chris just accepted a shit load of friend requests on Facebook! He's still on Facebook! --[[User:Thatguy|Thatguy]] 17:26, 13 December 2010 (PST)

===For the Record===
He's "shaking out his hair," not shaking his head. Picture, if you will, that cliched scene where the sexy businessgirl/librarian takes off her glasses and pulls out whatever's holding her hair in a bun, and then shakes it out. That's what he's doing. Think about it.

There's an example [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsCLoihinTQ here], at 1:04. I couldn't find english. [[User:Dude|Dude]] 20:49, 24 November 2010 (PST)

Talk:100 2357.MOV

2010-11-24T07:42:52Z

Thatguy:

Talk:100 2357.MOV

2010-11-24T07:42:41Z

Thatguy:

Lars Call

2010-11-09T07:57:24Z

Thatguy:

[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|Lars, with boat]]

{{quote|The fuck that shit be??|[[Lars]], questioning on what [[autism]] is}}

The '''Lars Call''' is a ninety-minute phone conversation where Chris talks with [[Jackie]]'s [[black]] ex-boyfriend [[Lars]], discussing addictions, a parade he promised Jackie, what he would do for a woman, and boats. Chris gets comfortable with ebonics, and hilarity ensues.

==Summary==
* Jackie had an involuntary abortion thanks to Lars.
* Lars got rid of his boats, Chris gets rid of his [[Lego|Legos]].
* Lars didn't finish school because people played [[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]].
* Lars doesn't understand [[autism]], after Chris's explanation, he thought it was [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]] and [[Ultra Sonichu|Down Syndrome]].
* Chris whines about [[trolls]], not getting a [[job]], and being called a [[homo]]. Lars hears him.
* Chris doesn't like when people say "[[gay]]" [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#Transcript|as in stupid]], Lars doesn't like when people say "nigga" out of context.
* [[Sonichu]] (didn't see that coming), Chris incorporates IRL enemies into his [[comic]]. Lars tells him to continue the comic in order to conquer the trolls.
* Lars says Jackie is upset because she isn't an inspiration for Chris to do the comic, and he sometimes doesn't do what he tells her he will.
* Chris tells Lars he's a [[virgin]], Lars says that explains his rage against the trolls.
* Chris rewrites the comic so he doesn't kill "[[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Nigga]]".
* Jackie better not burn that casserole.
* Chris promised a parade for Alec to Jackie, Chris denies it, Lars has the [[Jackie_E-mails_20|e-mail proving]] he did.
* Jackie initially broke up with Lars because he told her he'd lose the boats, and he didn't. Chris feels him. Chris is Lars's nigga.
* Chris is willing to give up [[the Moon]] and Mercury if he had it, for Jackie. He's really giving up video games, but he won't sell his "[[PS3|PS Triple]]".
* Lars spent $35,000 on six credit cards for boats. He won't let addiction rule his life anymore.
* Chris swears on the grave on his [[Aunt Corina]] he will not spend anymore on his [[PS3]] (at least it wasn't [[Patti]]).
* Lars spent 9 months as a volunteer at a hospital enjoying the sight of [[Bob|old white men]] dying.
* More bitching about trolls.
* Lars and Chris talk about their criminal records, Lars makes trespassing sound bad ass.
* Chris apparently turns into a nigga himself as about halfway in and speaks in Ebonics (off and on) the remainder of the call.
* Chris would [[Death threats|shoot]] [[Michael Snyder]] if he had the chance. Michael was just looking for a reason to [[ban]] Chris.
* Lars gives Chris a scenario of someone breaking in. Chris says he's [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and would kick their ass (only if they hit first).
* Chris likes black people on [[TV]]. Lars gets mildly offended upon hearing how Chris likes ''Sanford & Son''. They both hold up their fists in black solidarity.
* The conversation goes back to Jackie, they wonder why Jackie is mad at Chris.
* Chris claims that he will make things right.
* Lars tells Chris that his [[dick]] is four inches of straight goodness.
* Lars burned his boats because he wants Jackie back and suggested that Chris burn his PS3 to get Jackie back.
* Lars thinks he has the upper hand over Chris in the competition over Jackie. He was known as "Ram-rod" in [[High School]].
* Chris talks about his [[Cherokee]] heritage. He's not a "casino nigga" and beats the stereotype that Native Americans have jobs.
* Lars respects Chris trying to win Jackie back, while Lars is "[[Hanky-panky|ramrodding]]" her.
* Chris talks about [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying his first PS3]], Lars questions why he got a second one. Chris says he needs it as a computer. Lars asks why he didn't get a computer instead.
* Lars tells Chris to improve himself whether Jackie stays with him or not.
* Jackie can't come to the phone, she's taking a massive shit courtesy of Taco Bell.
* Chris whines that making changes is [[Autism|too hard]].
* Lars says Chris is afraid of women. Chris denies it.
* Chris didn't have Taco Bell, he had a fish fillet for dinner.
* Lars lost his virginity at 10; he was scared.
* Lars tells Chris if he loses the PSTriple, his ass will be kicked out on the street and Jackie will be at Chris's doorstep the following day.
* Lars concludes with the fist of solidarity, he will bang Jackie when she gets out of the bathroom.
* Chris promises [[Honest]]y to Lars, he wants Jackie AND [[video games]].
* Chris likes [[Fanta|orange soda]].
* Lars didn't know what [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']] or Nickelodeon was, he goes to fuck Jackie.

==Transcript==

 Jackie: [In shrill, forced enthusiasm] Oh hi Chris, it's Jackie! How are you?
 '''Chris:''' ... Oh ... Jackie ... Hi.
 Jackie: Well I got your email!-
 '''Chris:''' Well- ...... Yeah. Oh uhhh. Yep. What's a ... What's ... a ... (sounds of frantic typing) what's .. a what's ... uh your response there?
 Jackie: Um, sorry I missed your- missed you last night, I just didn't know if you'd be around! Listen, I'm going to turn you over to Lars right now, and I'll be listening. So you-
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 Jackie: -two boys play nice, ok?
 '''Chris:''' Um, ok.
 Jackie: Lars!
 '''Lars:''' YO! BITCH WHERE MAH DINNER AT?!
 '''Chris:''' ... hmm, hello?
 '''Lars:''' Yo!, yo-yo-yo. Who dis at?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo dawg?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:'''[Clearly a white man] Yo who did-did? Yo this be Lars and shit, who dis?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, this is Christian.
 Lars; Yo! yo, Christian C. How y'all doin' dawg?
 '''Chris:''' Um, I'm-fu- I'm fairing out. How are you?
 '''Lars:''' Doin' alright nigga. Shit. Yo I'll be honest with y'all dawg. I ain't wanna do this call and shit at first, y'know? You diggin' and shit? Bet y'all prolly felt the same way, and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' But then my-m, my girl Jackie, she be all like: ''Bitch, you best be doin' this call! Lest I'll be all breakin' up you with y'all and shit.'' So I be like doin' the call and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo dawg-
 '''Chris:''' ... Ye-
 '''Lars:''' -what you wanna talk about?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, well, uh... yeah for uh... well, for one thing, well, I know what you put- what you did do to Jackie a while back, you spike- you spiked her coffee and killed the unborn child.
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo yo yo, dog, yo dog. That my bad and shit, yeah. I'll own up to that shit, sure, shiiit. That's in the past and shit, dog. I own up to that shit, and that's in the past. And I own up to that shit. Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay- okay, but how did you own up to that?
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, what you talkin' 'bout? I ain't do that shit no more. I made that shit up. Yo dog, what you talkin' 'bout? Shit be long gone, water over the bridge and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, the fact remains that she was pregnant with your child, then she lost it.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, all got- I ain't ready to be no baby daddy and shit. Shit, yo, nigga get scared and shit, fuck. Y'all know what that be like and shit. Y'all ain't be no a-dult and shit, you know? Ain't ready to take on no a-dult responsiblities. Fuck. I done pull a lot of bashin' (?) and shit for that baby, I tell ya what.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I done regret it and shit. You know? Shit happens. Shit be in the past, though and shit. I'm a new nigga, now. You dig, you feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, so I be burn no baby no baby fetus no more neither. I'm ready for baby now. I got a job and shit, I got rid of my stupid boats and shit too, damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard you burned those boats.
 '''Lars:''' Got rid of all of them boats. Not just my boats, neither. Got rid of boats, got rid of my expansion pass for boats, got rid of my paint kits for them boats, shit you know dog, I be goin' through my closet and shit, I got paint kit for boats I ain't even own, nigga. Man, sometimes a nigga just face his life and shit, when he ain't facin' it, he ain't realize what he got, 'til it's gone. Be like the song, and shit. You gots to get rid of all that shit, you feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I got boats in the closet, boats in the yard, boats in the living room, boats in the lawn, boats in my driveway and shit. Boats on the roof and shit. Shit be takin' over my house. Like a bad habit and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, y'all got- y'all got any nasty habits and shit there Chris?
 '''Chris:''' N-nasty habits?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, you know, any boats and shit? Model planes, and trains, and automobiles maybe? Anything that be weighing you down and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah-
 '''Lars:''' We all got our demons and shit. You must got somethin', lay it on me, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Oh... okay, well I did have a whole city made out of Legos that I tore- I des- pretty much tore it down, and-
 '''Lars:''' Huh, y'all done got a city of Legos and shit? Man, I feel you, that's gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How much 'fetti y'all get for all them Legos, how much money you get?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, nah I didn't get very- I didn't give no- I didn't get much money from... I did- there just a whole bunch- a whole bunch of pieces of bricks and whatnot and people are already on their way and most children already have their own bunches of Legos, and they're like they don't need it any more to call up their house and all that.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, I feel you. Take them Legos to the bank, get some Lego bills and shit. Man, I just took $30 worth of nickels to the bank this mornin'. Got myself some bills, I did. Jackson and a Hamilton and shit, goin' to Popeyes Chicken with that shit. Bet you feel that, right dog? Y'all ever been to Popeye's and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, no I cannot say I have sampled Popeyes-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, oh dog you missin' out, missin' out. Damn good chicken and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure it is, I have heard good things about Popeyes.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight a'ight a'ight, you feel me, you feel me, and I feel you and shit. Damn, nigga. Yo, yo, I be digressin' and shit, we gettin' off topic. We be talkin' 'bout yours and mines nasty habits and shit, what else do you got, dog? Lay it on me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' I feel all righteous and shit, gettin' rid of all my boats, feel like a new nigga and shit. Feel like a whole new day be startin' for me. You ever have a feelin' like that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I have felt that way before.
 '''Lars:''' Tell me all about it, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Well pretty much felt like- felt like a big time star and all that when I had a good number of friends back in high school. But then I had- then I graduated and had to leave Chesterfield County where I was going to high school and move back Ruckersville. And then it just, pretty much went downhill for me, and I didn't have too many friends
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, I hear high school be fun and shit. Oh no, dropped out halfway through 7th grade and shit. That's a cross I had to bear and shit. Dayum.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Been tryin' to go to high school and shit, ain't no niggas in the school system be wantin' no nigga up in their classroom. They be playin' "Kick the Nigga" and shit. Shit ain't gangsta, they be straight bustas and shit. Fuckin' niggas. Y'all know 'bout getting tormented and shit, ain't you? Tormented for your differences and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, dog, au-austiss- wait, the fuck that shit be? D- au...
 '''Chris:''' Autism, it's a- uh, it's a slowness in the mind where, it just, uh, it basically inhibits social functions. Y'know, being able to socialize as well as normal people. You can look it up on Wikipedia.
 '''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be a slow-in-the-mind and shit, then, huh? Like that Down Syndrome and shit. My cousin got that shit. Ain't got no neck and shit. Fuckin' shit, nigga can't fit no shirts.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, it's not uh- it is not Down Syssdrome, it's way different from Down Syndrome, just look it up on Wikipedia, and it's A-U-T-I-S-M.
 '''Lars:''' Be more like that Aspergers and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Lars:''' I ain't know anyone with that Aspergers, I hear that's some shit. They be all up in them trains and shit. Maybe I should get tested for that shit, I have my boats and shit. I probably grew out of it though, got rid my boats, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So you got them Aspergers and shit, all right dog- all right. I hear you, I feel you. I feel you, yo, we all got our- we all got our differences, we all gots our liabilities.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What else you got dog? Yo dog, you- you seem like a nice nigga and shit. Man, I ain't think this call gonna be pleaseant and shit, but so far we be doin' good. I ain't know why Jackie be comin' back to me and shit, when she got you. Says she ain't happy with you though. Why we gotta be talkin'? Why Jackie havin' us do this shit? She ain't explain nothing to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, she’s, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Man, yo, I love the bitch and shit, sometimes she treat me like a fuckin’ house nigga. Shit, won’t-bitch won’t tell me nothin’.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear you. My-my mom-it happens between my mom and dad. It’s, uh, lack of communication and-yeah, shit like that.
 '''Lars:''' Feel that, feel that. Fifty percent of marriages in this country lead to divorce because of that shit. Now, I’m a black man, so I’m naturally afraid of marriage and shit, so that probably ain’t gonna affect me and Jackie. But still, shit ain’t right. Shit ain’t gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear-
 '''Lars:''' Shit ain’t cornbread.
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' So why Jackie be not happy with you and shit? I mean, y’all know why Jackie wasn’t happy with me. I wanna know why Jackie ain’t happy with you. We got-we got’s to bond like true niggas.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well, uh, she and I, uh, we’ve had our, uh, our fights as well, but, uh, with my computer went, uh, went all on the fritz and I wasn’t able to get back out-to get back on, and it’s like, I can’t afford to get a new computer right now to, uh, replace-a new computer tower, and, uh, and we-and we haven’t been able to talk to each other through, uh, AIM and, uh, she’s kinda felt neglected on that. And, uh, also she requested me to upload-to make and upload videos to Youtube for her, which I have done, and, uh-
 '''Lars:''' A’ight, a’ight, I know about them videos and shit. I’ve been watching that shit. Man, I’ve been wondering what that shit all about, then I find out Jackie been asking y’all to do shit. Yo yo yo yo dawg, let me ask you a question and shit, though. Yo-
 '''Chris:''' Uh huh.
 '''Lars:''' You been doing these-You been doing these videos and shit. Why she be mad and shit? You be doing what she asks, right? You be doing everything-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' -she asks?
 (pause)
 '''Lars:''' Somethin’ about-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Somethin’ about some comic she was bitchin’ about the other day. I was like, “Bitch! Go make me my fuckin’ steak dinner, bitch!” But she just keep railing on about that fuckin’ comic video. I watched that comic video, you scribbled some shit, maybe ‘cause you ain’t colorin’ shit, I don’t know.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie-Jackie like them colors. Yo, hell, I ain’t got to tell you she like colors. She like me. That’s all the color she needs. I guess she wanted more color from you, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I mean, I recorded that video, I hadn't had a chance to color it in yet, but I had planned to color it in after that, and uh, and th- and I'll be taking the, uh video file and uploading to youtube at the, uh, library. I just haven't been able to get out in my car just yet.
 '''Lars:''' I heard it be somethin' 'bout you pickin' fights with- with artisans and shit, other cartoonists? You be like, trollin' and shit. Startin' gang wars and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Turf wars? I come from the streets, I know what turf war be all about.
 '''Chris:''' Eh.
 '''Lars:''' Shit. Ain't no winners in that game. Everybody lose.
 (Pause)
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's uh, not really a turf war, it's- ah, but I guess it can be considered like that. It's a- I have- I have been havin' my fights and bouts against a- like, a internet bullies, and cyber bullies. Trolls.
 '''Lars:''' What is-
 '''Chris:''' (interjecting) They just, uh- they just, uh- think they're breaking uh- I became like, a internet celebr- internet c-celebrity with my, uh, crea- my uh, my genius of my comic, in my comics and what not. So yeah, they uh, just essentially torture me. They, uh- They- they- they- like, they- uh, really weigh me down. And plus, they, uh- like, called my, like, got my, they got overtime from between the hackings and they uh, pretend to be other people, and- and uh, and all that damn shit. It's, they uh- get a whole bunch of, uh [unintelligible]
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog. I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' They get a whole bunch of footage from me and they just twist it and turn it the wrong way and just make my-and they just smear my once good name in the mud. Makes it very hard for me to get a job of my own with the background checks. Then-and they pretty much Google my-Google my name and all you get was, uh-all you get’s pretty much, other than the first, and their sole results is, uh, damn CWCki and uh, damn Encyclopedia Dramatica and that’s just a whole bunch of weigh-me-downs-
 '''Lars:''' I feel ya, I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' (unintelligible) –bad about me.
 '''Lars:''' That fuckin’ man hold a nigga down. Shit, I’ve been living that shit, whole life and shit. Damn. Fuckin’ niggas tryin’ to hold a nigga down. Yo yo, yo-
 '''Chris:''' You know, Lars-
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo, let m-oh, no no, you go ahead, dawg. You go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Lars:''' You go on with your righteous self.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, they also misla-they also mislabel me as a homosexual when I am a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Homosexual and shit? Damn. Like a- (unintelligible)
 '''Chris:''' (unintelligible)
 '''Lars:''' That what they say?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they be calling me- yeah, they be calling me gay. But I'm a- but I'm a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Man, I know these niggas. Y'all like, they be all like men who have sex with men an' shit? They call themselves gay, but I'm like nigga', you be gay if you be having sex with men. I mean, what that shit about? Fuckin' gay niggas, ain't wanna admit they gay. You know that gay shit, though, I think it's that, that macho shit. Ain't no black man want to admit to being a gay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Dawg.

{{transcription}}

==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFNyMfrTc_M&feature=related Listen On Youtube]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?mzqbcbh007abn88 Download]
* [http://goo.gl/DbVDg Non-mediafire mirror]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
{{stub}}

User:Thatguy

2010-11-07T23:22:05Z

Thatguy: Created page with "My page I guess. I'll mostly be adding links and fixing small grammar errors. {{collapsible|Userboxes| {{Britfag}} {{Troper}} {{White}} {{Asexual}} {{JERK}} {{Atheist}} {{Observ..."

My page I guess. I'll mostly be adding links and fixing small grammar errors.

{{collapsible|Userboxes|
{{Britfag}}
{{Troper}}
{{White}}
{{Asexual}}
{{JERK}}
{{Atheist}}
{{Observer}}
{{Hex-Box}}
}}

Lars Call

2010-11-07T18:08:14Z

Thatguy: /* Summary */

[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|Lars, with boat]]
{{quote|The fuck that shit be??|[[Lars]], questioning on what [[autism]] is}}
The '''Lars Call''' is a ninety-minute phone conversation where Chris discusses with [[Jackie]]'s ex-boyfriend [[Lars]] addictions, a parade he promised Jackie, what he would do for a woman, and boats. Chris gets comfortable with ebonics, and hilarity ensues.

==Summary==
* Jackie had an involuntary abortion thanks to Lars
* Lars got rid of his boats, Chris gets rid of his [[Lego|Legos]]
* Lars didn't finish school because people played [[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]]
* Lars doesn't understand [[autism]], after Chris's explanation, he thought it was [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]] and [[Ultra Sonichu|Down Syndrome]]
* Chris whines about trolls, not getting a job, and being called a [[homo]]. Lars hears him
* Chris doesn't like when people say "[[gay]]" [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#Transcript|as in stupid]], Lars doesn't like when people say "nigga" out of context
* [[Sonichu]] (didn't see that coming), Chris incorporates IRL enemies into his comic. Lars tells him to continue the comic in order to conquer the trolls
* Lars says Jackie is upset because she isn't an inspiration for Chris to do the comic, and he sometimes doesn't do what he tells her he will.
* Chris tells Lars he's a [[virgin]], Lars says that explains his rage against the trolls.
* Chris rewrites the comic so he doesn't kill "[[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Nigga]]"
* Jackie better not burn that casserole.
* Chris promised a parade for Alec to Jackie, Chris denies it, Lars has the [[Jackie_E-mails_20|e-mail proving]] he did.
* Jackie initially broke up with Lars because he told her he'd lose the boats, and he didn't. Chris feels him. Chris is Lars's Nigga
* Chris is willing to give up [[the Moon]] and Mercury if he had it, for Jackie. He's really giving up video games, but he won't sell his "[[PS3|PS Triple]]"
* Lars spent $35,000 on six credit cards for boats. He won't let addiction rule his life anymore
* Chris swears on the grave on his [[Aunt Corina]] he will not spend anymore on his PS3 (at least it wasn't [[Patti]])
* Lars spent 9 months as a volunteer at a hospital enjoying the sight of [[Bob|old white men]] dying
* More bitching about trolls.
* Lars and Chris talk about their criminal records, Lars makes trespassing sound bad ass
* Chris apparently turns into a nigga himself as about halfway in and speaks in Ebonics (off and on) the remainder of the call
* Chris would [[Death threats|shoot]] [[Michael Snyder]] if he had the chance. Michael was just looking for a reason to ban Chris
* Lars gives Chris a scenario of someone breaking in. Chris says he's [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and would kick their ass (only if they hit first)
* Chris likes Black people on TV. Lars gets mildly offended upon hearing how Chris likes "Sanford & Son". They both hold up their fists in solidarity.
* The conversation goes back to Jackie, they wonder why Jackie is mad at Chris.
* Chris claims that he will make things right
* Lars tells Chris that his dick is four inches of straight goodness
* Lars burned his boats because he wants Jackie back and suggested that Chris burn his PS3 to get Jackie back.
* Lars thinks he has the upper hand over Chris in the competition over Jackie. He was known as "Ram-rod" in High School
* Chris talks about his [[Cherokee]] heritage. He's not a "casino nigga" He beats the stereotype that Native Americans have jobs.
* Lars respects Chris trying to win Jackie back, while Lars is "[[Hanky-panky|ramrodding]]" her
* Chris talks about [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying his first PS3]], Lars questions why he got a second one. Chris says he needs it as a computer. Lars asks why he didn't get a computer instead
* Lars tells Chris to improve himself whether Jackie stays with him or not.
* Jackie can't come to the phone, she's taking a massive shit courtesy of Taco Bell
* Chris whines that making changes is [[Autism|too hard]].
* Lars says Chris is afraid of women, Chris denies it
* Chris didn't have Taco Bell, he had a fish fillet for dinner.
* Lars lost his virginity at 10, he was scared.
* Lars tells Chris if he loses the PSTriple, his ass will be kicked out on the street and Jackie will be at Chris' doorstep the following day
* Lars concludes with the fist of solidarity, He will bang Jackie when she gets out of the bathroom.
* Chris promises [[Honest]]y to Lars, He wants Jackie '''AND''' video games
* Chris likes [[Fanta|orange soda]]
* Lars didn't know what [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']] or Nickelodeon was, he goes to fuck Jackie.
* They say Goodnight

==Transcript==

Jackie: [In shrill, forced enthusiasm] Oh hi Chris, it's Jackie! How are you?

Chris: ... Oh ... Jackie ... Hi.

Jackie: Well I got your email!-

Chris: Well- ...... Yeah. Oh uhhh. Yep. What's a ... What's ... a ... (sounds of frantic typing) what's .. a what's ... uh your response there?

Jackie: Um, sorry I missed your- missed you last night, I just didn't know if you'd be around! Listen, I'm going to turn you over to Lars right now, and I'll be listening. So you-

Chris: Oh.

Jackie: -two boys play nice, ok?

Chris: Um, ok.

Jackie: Lars!

Lars: YO! BITCH WHERE MAH DINNER AT?!

Chris: ... hmm, Hello?

Lars: Yo!, yo-yo-yo. Who dis at?

Chris: ....

Lars: Yo dawg?

Chris: ...

Lars:[Clearly a white man] Yo who did-did? Yo this be Lars and shit, who dis?

Chris: Ugh, this is Christian.

Lars; Yo! yo, Christian C. How y'all doin' dawg?

Chris: Um, I'm-fu- I'm fairing out. How are you?

Lars: Doin' alright nigga. Shit. Yo I'll be honest with y'all dawg. I ain't wanna do this call and shit at first, y'know? You diggin' and shit? Bet y'all prolly felt the same way, and shit.

Chris: ...

Lars: But then my-m, my girl Jackie, she be all like: ''Bitch, you best be doin' this call! Lest I'll be all breakin' up you with y'all and shit.'' So I be like doin' the call and shit.

Chris: ...

Lars: Yo dawg-

Chris: ... Ye-

Lars: -what you wanna talk about?

Chris: Hmm, well, uh... yeah for uh... well, for one thing, well, I know what you put- what you did do to Jackie a while back, you spike- you spiked her coffee and killed the unborn child.

Lars: Yo yo yo yo yo, dog, yo dog. That my bad and shit, yeah. I'll own up to that shit, sure, shiiit. That's in the past and shit, dog. I own to that shit, and that's in the past. And I own up to that shit. Yeah.

Chris: Okay- okay, but how did you own up to that?

Lars: Shit, dog, what you talkin' 'bout? I ain't do that shit no more. I made that shit up. Yo dog, what you talkin' 'bout? Shit be long gone, water over the bridge and shit.

Chris: Well, the fact remains that she was pregnant with your child, then she lost it.

Lars: Yeah, yeah, all got- I ain't ready to be no baby daddy and shit. Shit, yo, nigga get scared and shit, fuck. Y'all know what that be like and shit. Y'all ain't be no a-dult and shit, you know? Ain't ready to take on no a-dult responsiblities. Fuck. I done pull a lot of bashin' (?) and shit, I tell ya what.

Chris: Yeah

Lars: I done regret it and shit. You know? Shit happens. Shit be in the past, though and shit. I'm a new nigga. You dig, you feel me?

Chris: Yeah, I hear- I hear you.

Lars: Yo, so I be burn no baby no baby fetus no more neither. I'm ready for baby now. I got a job and shit, I got rid of my stupid boats and shit too, damn.

Chris: Yeah, I heard you burned those boats.

Lars: Got rid of all of them boats. Not just my boats, neither. Got rid of boats, got rid of my expansion pass for boats, got rid of my paint kits for them boats, shit you know dog, I be goin' through my closet and shit, I got paint kit for boats I ain't even own, nigga. Man, sometimes a nigga just face his life and shit, when he ain't facin' it, he ain't realize what he got, 'til it's gone. Be like the song, and shit. You gots to get rid of all that shit, you feelin' me?

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: I got boats in the closet, boats in the yard, boats in the living room, boats in the lawn, boats in my driveway and shit. Boats on the roof and shit. Shit be takin' over my house. Like a bad habit and shit, y'all feelin' me?

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: Yo, yo, y'all got- y'all got any nasty habits and shit there Chris?

Chris: N-nasty habits?

Lars: Yeah, yeah, you know, any boats and shit? Model planes, and trains, and automobiles maybe? Anything that be weighing you down and shit?

Chris: Hmm, yeah-

Lars: We all got our demons and shit. You must got somethin', lay it on me, dog.

Chris: Oh... okay, well I did have a whole city made out of Legos that I tore- I des- pretty much tore it down, and-

Lars: Huh, y'all done got a city of Legos and shit? Man, I feel you, that's gangsta.

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: How much 'fetti y'all get for all them Legos, how much money you get?

Chris: Hmm, nah I didn't get very- I didn't give no- I didn't get much money from... I did- there just a whole bunch- a whole bunch of pieces of bricks and whatnot and people are already on their way and most children already have their own bunches of Legos, and they're like they don't need it any more to call up their house and all that.

Lars: Shiiit, I feel you. Take them Legos to the bank, get some Lego bills and shit. Man, I just took $30 worth of nickels to the bank this mornin'. Got myself some bills, I did. Jackson and a Hamilton and shit, goin' to Popeyes Chicken with that shit. Bet you feel that, right dog? Y'all ever been to Popeye's and shit?

Chris: Hmm, no I cannot say I have sampled Popeyes-

Lars: Dog, oh dog you missin' out, missin' out. Damn good chicken and shit.

Chris: Yeah, I'm sure it is, I have heard good things about Popeyes.

Lars: A'ight a'ight a'ight, you feel me, you feel me, and I feel you and shit. Damn, nigga. Yo, yo, I be digressin' and shit, we gettin' off topic. We be talkin' 'bout yours and mines nasty habits and shit, what else do you got, dog? Lay it on me.

Chris: Hmm...

Lars: I feel all righteous and shit, gettin' rid of all my boats, feel like a new nigga and shit. Feel like a whole new day be startin' for me. You ever have a feelin' like that, dog?

Chris: Yeah, I have felt that way before.

Lars: Tell me all about it, dog.

Chris: Well pretty much felt like- felt like a big time star and all that when I had a good number of friends back in high school. But then I had- then I graduated and had to leave Chesterfield County where I was going to high school and move back Ruckersville. And then it just, pretty much went downhill for me, and I didn't have too many friends

Lars: Shit, dog, I hear high school be fun and shit. Oh no, dropped out halfway through 7th grade and shit. That's a cross I had to bear and shit. Dayum.

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: Been tryin' to go to high school and shit, ain't no niggas in the school system be wantin' no nigga up in their classroom. They be playin' "Kick the Nigga" and shit. Shit ain't gangsta, they be straight bustas and shit. Fuckin' niggas. Y'all know 'bout getting tormented and shit, ain't you? Tormented for your differences and shit.

Chris: Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before.

Lars: Yo, yo, yo, dog, au-austiss- wait, the fuck that shit be? D- au...

Chris: Autism, it's a- uh, it's a slowness in the mind where, it just, uh, it basically inhibits social functions. Y'know, being able to socialize as well as normal people. You can look it up on Wikipedia.

Lars: Oh, y'all be a slow-in-the-mind and shit, then, huh? Like that Down Syndrome and shit. My cousin got that shit. Ain't got no neck and shit. Fuckin' shit, nigga can't fit no shirts.

Chris: Well, yeah, well, it's not uh- it is not Down Syssdrome, it's way different from Down Syndrome, just look it up on Wikipedia, and it's A-U-T-I-S-M.

Lars: Be more like that Aspergers and shit.

Chris: Um...

Lars: I ain't know anyone with that Aspergers, I hear that's some shit. They be all up in them trains and shit. Maybe I should get tested for that shit, I have my boats and shit. I probably grew out of it though, got rid my boats, though.

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: So you got them Aspergers and shit, all right dog- all right. I hear you, I feel you. I feel you, yo, we all got our- we all got our differences, we all gots our liabilities.

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: What else you got dog? Yo dog, you- you seem like a nice nigga and shit. Man, I ain't think this call gonna be pleaseant and shit, but so far we be doin' good. I ain't know why Jackie be comin' back to me and shit, when she got you. Says she ain't happy with you though. Why we gotta be talkin'? Why Jackie havin' us do this shit? She ain't explain nothing to me.

Chris: Well, she’s, uh-

Lars: Man, yo, I love the bitch and shit, sometimes she treat me like a fuckin’ house nigga. Shit, won’t-bitch won’t tell me nothin’.

Chris: Yeah. I hear you. My-my mom-it happens between my mom and dad. It’s, uh, lack of communication and-yeah, shit like that.

Lars: Feel that, feel that. Fifty percent of marriages in this country lead to divorce because of that shit. Now, I’m a black man, so I’m naturally afraid of marriage and shit, so that probably ain’t gonna affect me and Jackie. But still, shit ain’t right. Shit ain’t gangsta.

Chris: Yeah. I hear-

Lars: Shit ain’t cornbread.

Chris: I hear that.

Lars: So why Jackie be not happy with you and shit? I mean, y’all know why Jackie wasn’t happy with me. I wanna know why Jackie ain’t happy with you. We got-we got’s to bond like true niggas.

Chris: Yeah. Well, uh, she and I, uh, we’ve had our, uh, our fights as well, but, uh, with my computer went, uh, went all on the fritz and I wasn’t able to get back out-to get back on, and it’s like, I can’t afford to get a new computer right now to, uh, replace-a new computer tower, and, uh, and we-and we haven’t been able to talk to each other through, uh, AIM and, uh, she’s kinda felt neglected on that. And, uh, also she requested me to upload-to make and upload videos to Youtube for her, which I have done, and, uh-

Lars: A’ight, A’ight, I know about them videos and shit. I’ve been watching that shit. Man, I’ve been wondering what that shit all about, then I find out Jackie been asking y’all to do shit. Yo yo yo yo dawg, let me ask you a question and shit, though. Yo-

Chris: Uh huh.

Lars: You been doing these-You been doing these videos and shit. Why she be mad and shit? You be doing what she asks, right? You be doing everything-

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: -she asks?

(pause)

Lars: Somethin’ about-

Chris: Yeah.

Lars: Somethin’ about some comic she was bitchin’ about the other day. I was like, “Bitch! Go make me my fuckin’ steak dinner, bitch!” But she just keep railing on about that fuckin’ comic video. I watched that comic video, you scribbled some shit, maybe ‘cause you ain’t colorin’ shit, I don’t know.

Chris: Well, I mean, uh-

Lars: Jackie-Jackie like them colors. Yo, hell, I ain’t got to tell you she like colors. She like me. That’s all the color she needs. I guess she wanted more color from you, though.

{{transcription}}

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?mzqbcbh007abn88 Download]
* [http://goo.gl/DbVDg Non-mediafire mirror]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
{{stub}}

Prank calls

2010-10-26T02:21:40Z

Thatguy: Yeah, I know I didn't do a lot but it's a start.

It's no secret that the Chandler home gets many '''prank calls''', thanks to [[Chris]]'s e-fame and the fact he actually revealed his phone number to the entire Internet. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to [[YouTube]], providing an insight into the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Prank Call Collection==
A collection of various prank calls made to the almighty [[Bob Chandler|Internet Lumberjack]] on a Sunday afternoon.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|3whf9k9z_Nk}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Yeah, how you doin'? My name is Chris, I'm from Boston.
 '''Bob:''' Hello? I don't understand your conversation.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Would it be possible for me to get your name?
 '''Bob:''' You called me.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Um, there's somebody playing games with the phone.
 '''Bob:''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I'm just answerin' my telephone.[''Inaudible.''] You called me. What the hell is on your mind, man?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''again, speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? What's on your mind? You called me, and now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You're a narcissist. You've got a personality di-disorder. Did you know that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't have a damn thing! You're the one that's a guh-guh-gutter creep [''Inaudible''] - that's just what you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob again''] I know your weaknesses. I know your weaknesses.
 '''Bob:''' Tell me what you want. I'm- I answered the phone, now tell me what you want. You rang my damn number.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You see, what you're doing is, you're burning up ''tens'' of ''thousands'' of dollars.
 '''Bob:''' I ain't burnin' up nothin', fella. Now you tell me what the hell you want, or I'm gonna hang this phone up. I don't need ''your'' crap.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Sir, you've just threatened me. And I've got you recorded now. Now you've committed a felony.
 '''Bob:''' That's good. I'm just gonna hang up if you don't tell me what you want.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Can you hear that stuff at the other end?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I didn't understand you.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I still didn't understand you. [''Inaudible.''] - speak distinctly.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob''] I've already told you who I am. I've already told you who I am. This is sheriff's depar-Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I don't understand why you're callin' me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' What insurance department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ''call'' you! You called me! What are- Who are you, and what's goin' on?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Would you speak slowly and one syllable at a time so I can understand you?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' You're mayor of Big Daddy's Pizza? Is that what you said?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I can't understand you. You need to take a diction lesson.
 [''Barbara is heard in the background urging Bob on'']
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm gonna advise you now, this is the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Are- are you the sheriff's department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Bob:''' Good. Why did you call me?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' No one's called me? Then why didn't my phone ring?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you! Listen!
 [''call dropped; redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' [''in the middle of a conversation with Barb'']
 '''Barbara:''' What's the phone number comin' in?
 '''Bob:''' Nothin'.
 '''Barbara:''' Well, hang up!
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who the hell is this?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' [''chuckling''] I don't know, you can't help me. You're calling me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Callin' you and cussin' you, OK? Why would I call you when I'm on the sheriff's department why would I call somebody and cuss them out?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who is ''this''? For cryin' in a bucket...
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' This is the sheriff's depar- Deputy Martin from sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Well, insurance department of what?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' Big Daddy's Pizza. OK, Big Daddy. Will you please quit callin' me and leave my phone alone?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I've never called you before you god danged you...[interrupted] - pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
 '''Bob:''' YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! Don't call me again! Get down in your damn low-life gutter, okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] Hey, fuck you, you stupid cocksucker.
 '''Bob:''' I don't play that. And don't call me again! You bastard!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Fuck you.
 '''Bob:''' Forget my number! Alright?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Whatta ya need done?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Duncan Construction.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' This is who?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' Well, Frank, what is on your mind?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hey, does your mama still got, uh, worms crawlin' out her pusshy?
 '''Bob:''' What is on your mind, sir?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again or what?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, you motherfucker! Get off of my telephone and quit bothering' it! Okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] No.
 '''Bob:''' Get down in your low-life gutter and stay there!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' No.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, why are you calling my number?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you
 '''Bob:''' Well then... uh why are you speaking with me?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I have been called 15 times.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why are you callin' me every 3 minutes for?!?!?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, I'm sitting here in my living room; watching TV.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why don't you get your brass balls and come up here buddy?
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't know who you are or where you are, but... and I don't really care! But you... I'll let you talk to my wife and you tell her why your cussin' at me!
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' OK
 '''Bob:''' ''[In the background, Bob and Barbara converse]''
 ''[troll holds in laugh]''
 '''Barbara:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Barbara:''' Who are you calling?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you
 '''Barbara:''' Well, you're fucked up somehow; goodbye.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I'll bust your head wide open if I could see you!
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''somber music plays in the background'']
 '''Bob:''' Why are you callin' on me on a Sunday afternoon?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' I didn't call you, I'm just trying to go to sleep.
 '''Bob:''' I wish you'd quit bothering my telephone, I'm trying to watch TV. I'm an 82 year old man, now cut it out!
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' My fuckin' life's not doing too well right now, dude.
 ''[call ends]''
 ''[music goes on for a while then fades out]''

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

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===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Whoa whoa whoa, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

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===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that.
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I would tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialed]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls that have unknown names on them or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialed]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell? Why are you- why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me, fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Bob:''' I'll start cussing at at you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[heard in the background]'' Hang up the phone!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 ''[more indistinct conversation in the background, "Hang up the phone!" etc.]''
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not botherin' me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wastin' your damn time. Okay, you're not botherin' us. So why the hell do you do-waste all that effort? Put it in to something con- constructive and creative.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[interjects]'' Go to Haiti!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, go to Haiti and help those people, or go to hell, one or the other. ''[Chris soundboard says something simultaneously]''
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

=='Epic Crazy Lady' calls Bob==
A troll using a soundboard of a super loud Fundamentalist yells at Bob over the phone, while Bob throws insults at her and makes comments on how he can't understand her, as she continues to get angrier.

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{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

===Transcript===
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Who do you think you are?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Do you know that you're not supposed to talk that way?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem. God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who or what is...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] God needs to move in your life.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon. I can't even begin to understand what you're saying.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God needs to move in your life ''severely''!
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Bring yourself over here! I'll show you what's the matter! OK?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you come over here and I'll show ''you'' what's the matter?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Nine hundred Collins Road, bring yourself, buddy.
 '''Bob:''' Hey, buddy. Listen, boy.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. You understand?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I am the woman of the house, and you don't call me and ask me who my daddy is.
 '''Bob:''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care. But you are invading my privacy, and you are cussing at me, and I don't like it.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Call my house and talk that way. I tell you what, why don't you call my husband, and tell my husband that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know who you are or who you think I am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Yeah, that's what you are, a big old chicken.
 '''Bob:''' Who do think I am?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I wish that you knew what number you called, because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call your house, sir, ma'am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] No, you are!
 '''Bob:''' ...or whatever you are.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man. I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Fine.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Bob says something to Barbara about a "goddamn screwy woman." Barbara tells him: "Hang up on her. I ain't talkin' to nobody, this time of night. Hang it up."''] You better check the number that you called, because you're not talking to anybody that you know.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I haven't called your house. I am the one who picked up the phone and said, "Hello."
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Barbara tells Bob to hang up because he's getting on her nerves.''] I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Unintelligible''] bring yourself over here and I'll show you what a whooping is.
 [''Bob hangs up'']
 '''Harlem Barber:''' Barbershop
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Harlem Barber:''' [''Whistles'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

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{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the Internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours or at one time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the Internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' -they have a program in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just [[Bob walks in|cut it down]], cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here-now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er...thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

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{{quote|S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.|Bob, repeating himself}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''-FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' -you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the Internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the Internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. I've even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorizing people and I wasn't even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh, sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the Internet who is drawing cartoons, I-I don't know I don't use the Internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the Internet either, but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the Internet, uh, looking up cartoons on the Internet and, uh, I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the Internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorizing people cause my number comes in on their caller ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the Internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this Internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The caller ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' -Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house. But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the Internet and that's why they're- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorize you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the-phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the Internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an Internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the Internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin' me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

== Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler ==
Not much of a prank, but rather an informative call. From this brief conversation between troll and dad we learn that Bob is fully aware that Chris posted their dox in numerous places on the Internet, and actually thinks [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|son]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|is]] [[Twin Falling Towers|a]] [[Sonichu Special 4|better]] [[Sonichu 10|person]].

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=== Transcript ===

 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello? Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, hey, um, I've been hearing that, uh...
 '''Bob:''' Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll''': Um, your son's kinda like getting you through some trouble on the, uh...online. He's giving out his- giving out your home phone number.
 '''Bob:''' My home phone number's been on the Internet four years, and I don't care. Now why you callin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, your...I think you heard about how your, uh, [[Tour of Chris's House|videos of your house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|were on the Internet]]?
 '''Bob:''' I've heard a lot of stuff, and most of it is a bunch of trash, okay?
 '''Troll:''' Well, um...
 '''Bob:''' Why you callin' my number?
 ''' Troll:''' W-w-w-w-w-wait a minute, wait. Um...
 '''Bob:''' I'm gettin' kinda sick and tired of you people botherin' my home phone number. This is my private phone number, now get rid of it.
 '''Troll:''' Wait, wait, I'm not trying to piss you off.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you are, because you're comin' in on an unknown blocked number call.
 '''Troll:''' Your-
 '''Bob:''' If you were up and aboard and above board(?) and really doin' what you say you ki- think you're doin', then your number would come in along with your name.
 '''Troll:''' [''quietly''] Shit, whatever lumberjack.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you can't argue with that, can you? Now quit callin' my damn number and leave it alone!
 '''Troll:''' Okay [[Chris_and_race#Parental_influence|KKK cracker.]]
 '''Bob:''' Okay, cracker.
 [''Troll snickers'']
 '''Bob:''' Get your act together. I'm 82 years old, and I've survived a long damn time. The way you're goin', you're not gonna make it very far.
 '''Troll:''' Can't raise your damn son right.
 '''Bob:''' I raised my son. [[Chris and psychology|My son is fine]]. [[Fail|My son has done a lot better than you have]], [[Chris and anger|he's a hell of a lot nicer than you are]], he doesn't go around callin' people all the damn time.
 '''Troll:''' Hey, I'm nice, but I'm just- I'm just trying to let you know, you're trying to, you're kinda being an ass on the other line.
 '''Bob:''' No, I'm not being an ass. I'm just gettin' tired of [[Chris and his ego|you people out there thinkin' you're God's gift to the world when you're not]].
 '''Troll:''' W-well, I'm- I'm not thinking, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, look at yourself...
 '''Troll:''' I do.
 '''Bob:''' ...and say "Now what do I do to deserve to judge other people?..."
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' "...I'm so great that I can judge other people, and they're so damn far below me?" No, I think you should get off the phone and find yourself somethin' constructive to do as an entertainment.
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm just-
 '''Bob:''' Thank you and good night.
 '''Troll:''' Okay, bitch.
 [''call ends'']

==Snake Productions Calls Barbara Chandler==
The same troll above makes another call to the Chandlers, this time claiming Chris harassed his [[Pedofork|14-year old sister]]. It should be noted that Barb's behavior when communicating with trolls is eerily similar to that of her equally-delusional son's.

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===Transcript===

 '''John:''' Uh, hello, this is, ah, John Morris. I've been calling a couple of times, but I'm getting calls from your house, and I guess someone named Christian who lives there has been calling my sister, who's underage, probably 14 years - 14 years old, has been asking my, er, d-asking my d- sister-
 '''Barbara:''' (Interrupting) M-my son does not call your daughter that's 14 years underage [Unintelligible]
 '''John:''' Yeah, I-I have recorded-
 '''Barbara:''' SHUT UP!SHUT UP!
 '''John:''' Here, here's the call.
 '''Barbara:''' Stop trying to set up my son!
 '''John:''' Here.
 '''Barbara:''' You lousy creep!
[A recording of a girl's voice starts, but Barb is blathering over it]
 '''Barbara:''' One of you - one of you trolls out there
 '''John:''' Here, what's this - here
 '''Barbara:''' Don't bother - don't bother calling us back again!
 '''John:''' Here, right here.
[The recording starts again, but Barb hangs up]
 '''John:''' Oh, she - Tch.

The credits roll, followed by the actual "recording" of the call - obviously a soundboard.

 '''Girl''': Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Girl'''Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler
 '''Girl''': Who are you looking for?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Girl''': What?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that, you know. And you'll just - and it'll be - I'll be puttin' it between your tits while you're all tied up.
 '''Barbara (Soundboard):''' SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Stop trying to set up my son! You lousy creep!

==Call Bobby Chandler==
Uploaded on 21 September 2010. The two individuals call up Bob and ask him only two questions before the conversation takes a turn for the worse. In the nine minutes that followed, we learned that Bob graduated from Auburn University, was an Eagle Scout and Scoutmaster for 20 years in the Boy Scouts, and that he may be a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

Despite these revelations, many trolls disapproved of the callers' tactics, as they were basically verbally assaulting an 83 year old man over things he had no idea about.

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====Transcript====
''(trolls giggling; phone rings three times)''
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello!
 '''Troll 1:''' Mr. Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Troll 1:''' This is Answer Me Sanchez.
 '''Bob:''' Who is Anthony Sanchez?
 '''Troll 1:''' No, ''Answer Me'' Sanchez! I’d like to, ah, ask you a few questions, if, ah, um, you wouldn’t mind.
 '''Bob:''' Well, I don’t know if I’ll give you any answers.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, do the best you can, I guess. Number one, um: have you ever heard of a website called bangbus.com?
 '''Bob:''' No, I’m not on the Internet.
 '''Troll 1:''' Okay, um, two: What scares you more, a [[Niggos|black man]] living in your neighborhood, or a [[Homos|gay man]] living in your neighborhood?
 '''Bob:''' I don’t think that’s any of your business.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, um, I um, am doing this for…research and statistics. And I, um…
 '''Bob:''' (interrupts) It’s still none of your business.
 '''Troll 1:''' What if, what if I had, uh, a hooker give you a blowjob?
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business. (pause) Just, just quit bothering my telephone and get the hell…
 '''Troll 2:''' (interrupts) Tell your son to stop drinking his semen!
 '''Troll 1:''' Wait, wait, Bob, okay, I’ll skip that question.
 '''Bob:''' You're, you’re just being an asshole, is what you're doing.
 '''Troll 2:''' Your son's an asshole!
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, um, um, relax! All right, all right, that was an insensitive question. You’re right; let’s skip that.
 '''Bob:''' You got no reason to know this kind of stuff.
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, relax, relax; take your medicine. And relax.
 '''Bob:''' I am relaxed, fella.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, um, good, um.
 '''Bob:''' I’m sick and tired of you calling up on my telephone.
 '''Troll 1:''' I have no idea what you’re talking about. Bob, are you going senile?
 '''Barbara:''' ''(inaudible)''
 '''Troll 1:''' Nah, don't listen to [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]]! You - ugh, she has you pussy-whipped. Stop listenin' to her.
 '''Troll 2:''' Bob, man, you fought in Korea, man. Just listen to what my friend has to say and tell your wife to shut up.
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, I mean, come on…
 '''Bob:''' If you guys would just go to college or do something and…
 '''Troll 1:''' I am in college!
 '''Troll 2:''' I’m in college, too, and I’m actually doing something with my degree, unlike Chris!
 '''Bob:''' Try doing something constructive with your life.
 '''Troll 2:''' I am, unlike your son.
 '''Troll 1:''' That’s kind of ironic, given your son doesn’t do jack shit with his degree.
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah! [[Honor roll|Honor rolls, my ass!]]
 '''Bob:''' I have my degree, fella.
 '''Troll 2:''' No, your son! Your retarded son who drinks semen!
 '''Troll 1:''' I'm not talkin' about you, I'm talkin' about your son. The one that drinks his own sperm?
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah, eats [[McDonald's]]?
 '''Bob:''' He has his degree also.
 '''Troll 2:''' He doesn’t do nothin' with it, though.
 '''Troll 1:''' What’s he got with it? What’s he done with it?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn’t matter what he’s done with it, it's none of your fucking business.
 '''Troll 1:''' It does, 'cause you're telling us - 'cause you're telling us to go to college.
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah, you're telling us to go to college, w - I wanna know what your son's done. What's he done?
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business.
 '''Troll 2:''' It is, 'cause he tells us on the Internet. It’s everybody’s business now.
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah!
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business. Why don’t you ''(inaudible, interruptions)'' quit bothering us, or I won’t answer your phone at all!
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(indistinct)'' Jesus, man.
 '''Troll 1:''' Okay, all right, you know what, let's skip that question since it's obvamously - um, it might make him [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit his pants]] and get - ''(stammers)'' Let's skip that question.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella -
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob…
 '''Bob:''' Hey.
 ''(repeat ad nauseam for several seconds as Bob and Troll 1 try to speak over each other)''
 '''Bob:''' I'm talkin'… I’m talkin' to you, listen, I’m talkin' to you…
 '''Troll 1:''' I'll get the stick!
 '''Bob:''' ''(amid interruptions from trolls)'' Listen to me, you, I'm talkin' to you! I’ll tell you what I want you to know, okay? First, I am a graduate engineer. Okay?
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(muttering)'' Oh my god.
 '''Bob:''' Second, I worked forty years for GE, and I retired from GE. Third, I served this country and this world by creating at least ten patents and automating a whole lot of industry with a whole lot of stuff that you couldn’t live without. I’ve done my service to man kind.
 '''Troll 2:''' What about your son?
 '''Bob:''' I’m an old man now and I want to be left in peace by you fuckers out there.
 '''Troll 2:''' Fuck you, you Klansman!
 '''Troll 1:''' I’ve listened to what you had to say and I…
 '''Troll 2:''' Fuckin' Klansman.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(garbled, inaudible babbling)''
 '''Bob:''' Well, I’m telling you this, I also spent my time as a scoutmaster. Okay, I was an Eagle Scout. I spent my time for twenty years…
 '''Troll 2:''' Your son drinks his own semen, wears his mom’s underwear. He eats McDonald’s, he whacks off.
 '''Troll 1:''' Are you telling me you’re a damn… Bob?
 ''(more babbling)''
 '''Bob:''' When you get somethin' that you can tell me like that, then you call me back and tell me. Now you get your own life and stop botherin' mine. I can out-talk you any day of the week.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(talking over Bob)'' My son will never drink his own semen. My son will never wear his mom’s underwear. My son will never live in my house when he’s twenty-eight years old. My son does not have the Snorlax for a mother.
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, wait, hold on a second, relax. Everyone just relax. Bob, are you - you’re saying you’re a scout manager for [[Pedofork|NAMBLA]]?
 '''Bob:''' No, I’m saying I was a scout master.
 '''Troll 1:''' For NAMBLA, I got it…
 '''Bob:''' For a scout troop. A scout troop! You know!
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, yeah, for NAMBLA, I got you.
 '''Bob:''' Boy Scouts!
 '''Troll 2:''' Auhh, totally NAMBLA!
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, NAMBLA. ''(lots of stammering)'' Um, okay, I mean, like, how many years did you do that for, for NAMBLA?
 '''Bob:''' I was a scout master for almost 20 years.
 '''Troll 1:''' Twenty years in NAM - that’s real impressive, I’m really impressed.
 '''Bob:''' I have my Eagle Scout badge, which very few of you people out there have. Why don't you go get a life and get out there and do that kinda stuff too?
 '''Troll 2:''' The Scouts are gay. The scouts are as gay as your son.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(nonsensical rambling)'' I think, you know, if I learn first-hand from someone that's experienced it, it might help me moreso in the real world, I mean, like, such as yourself. I mean, like, twenty years in NAMBLA -
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty, I'm - y'know, I would be embarrassed, if I were you -
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(interrupting)'' I would be embarrassed to drink my own semen.
 '''Bob:''' - y'gotta call up people and say "Look," y'know, "I’ve done so-and-so," when you haven’t done crap. Now you can't tell me any one thing you've done.
 '''Troll 1:''' Like your son, right?
 '''Troll 2:''' Well, your son drinks his own cum and wears his mom’s underwear.
 '''Bob:''' I don’t care, we’re talking about me and we’re talking about my phone.
 '''Troll 1:''' What about your phone? I…
 '''Bob:''' This is my phone number, this is my phone that you’re bothering, and I'm sick and tired of it.
 '''Troll 2:''' Chris gave us your number.
 '''Troll 1:''' I-I just said that - I was just askin' you 'bout, what - your 20 years in NAMBLA, and you were talk - talkin' to me 'bout that, I was just sayin' like - uh, so what'd you do after?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you get something that you can brag about rather than tryin' to harass people all the time?
 '''Troll 1:''' 'Cause I don’t brag, that's, that’s not my nature.
 '''Bob:''' Well, that's fine. So all you can do is harass and bully, right?
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(randomly interjects)'' Stop living in a house full of clutter!
 '''Troll 1:''' I'm not ''harassing and bullying''. I'm just asking you a question. You're just getting mad and, y'know -
 '''Bob:''' Y'know I have friends in the Klu Klux Klan. [''sic'']
 '''Troll 2:''' Oh my god, you're a fuckin' Na - oh ho ho! Holy shit!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
 '''Troll 2:''' I’m so glad we’re recording this.
 '''Troll 1:''' Are you part of the KKK yourself?
 '''Bob:''' I was born and ra - I was raised in Alabama, so take your own judgment from that, fella.
 '''Troll 2:''' Holy ''shit!''
 '''Bob:''' I went to school at [[Wikipedia:Auburn High School (Alabama)|Auburn's]]. It's in the heart of the Deep South, so you can take your, you can take your whatevers from that.
 ''(excited gibbering from trolls)''
 '''Troll 1:''' So, from my understanding, you said you went to Auburn, right?
 '''Bob:''' That’s right, I graduated there.
 '''Troll 1:''' All right. So you’re telling me that most people who graduated from Auburn are in the KKK?
 '''Bob:''' No, but I’m saying that a lot of them are. It’s in the heart of the Deep South.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, I just said "most people," but okay, yeah... So, I mean, what-
 '''Bob:''' I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.
 '''Troll 1:''' Is Chris part of the KKK?
 '''Bob:''' You don't wanna see it.
 '''Troll 2:''' Wait, wait, wait - are ''you'' a member of the KKK, though, Bob?
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah. Yeah. All right.
 '''Bob:''' I won’t say whether I am or not. If I had, I’d come up and see if I've got a white, uh, hood to put on.
 '''Troll 2:''' Okay, Bob, all right, we’re just asking you a simple question.
 '''Bob:''' Okay? Okay? Now get off my damn case and get a life for yourself.
 '''Troll 2:''' My [[niggo|black]] girlfriend's gonna hate me for that.
 '''Bob:''' Stop bein' a sad, pathetic individual.
 '''Troll 2:''' Like your son, Bob?
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob -
 '''Bob:''' It doesn’t matter, we’re not talking about my son.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''I’m'' talking about your son.
 '''Bob:''' We’re talking about me, and we’re talking about you.
 '''Troll 1:''' This is a big confrontation. (???) So when you tell us to get a life, why don’t you take those words and tell that to your son, instead of other people, when we’re just trying to ask you questions and learn about life ourselves?
 '''Troll 2:''' Why you gotta get so hostile?
 '''Bob:''' My son has a life.
 '''Troll 2:''' Whatever happened to [[Megan]]?
 '''Troll 1:''' [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']]’s not a life, man!
 '''Bob:''' My son’s a hell of a lot more creative than you are.
 '''Troll 2:''' That’s why we’re talking to you and he doesn’t talk to you. Get it?
 '''Troll 1:''' He says he doesn’t get along with you that well, so…
 '''Troll 2:''' That’s what he puts on his website.
 '''Bob:''' He gets along with me fine.
 '''Troll 2:''' Not on his [[YouTube]] page.
 '''Bob:''' Why don’t you get a life so you can come back and prove me that you’re capable and good enough to talk to me? I have helped my fellow man, and I have helped 'em for forty or fifty years.
 '''Troll 2:''' You kinda failed at that.
 '''Bob:''' ''(apparently misunderstanding)'' To hell with that? Yeah, to hell with that.
 '''Troll 2:''' You've failed.
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you go out and get a life and leave me in peace?
 '''Troll 2:''' I have one, I’m fucking my black girlfriend every night. I have a black girlfriend! I'm happy!
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, tell me something. Do you know what the Pythagorean Theorem is?
 '''Bob:''' I sure do.
 '''Troll 1:''' What is it?
 '''Bob:''' It’s for me to know and you to find out, my friend.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(inaudible)'' - bachelor's degree.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(sudden rage)'' You dumbass! What is it? It’s A squared plus B squared equals C squared!
 '''Troll 2:''' HA! Check and mate.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''Gosh'', Bob! Come on! Failed, right there. ''(stammering)'' Do you know anything about the Golden Ratio?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella, I have ten patents. In the realms of industrial automation.
 '''Troll 1:''' I don't care about your rim jobs in the freaking -
 '''Bob:''' I helped, I helped to design and, and, and create the computer.
 '''Troll 2:''' No you didn’t!
 '''Bob:''' I helped design and create and put the [[Wikipedia:International Space Station|intercontinental mission in space]].
 '''Troll 2:''' No you didn’t!
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(indistinct)'' - NAMBLA stickers on your computer?
 '''Bob:''' Now when you can say something like that, you can call me back. Until then, shut your fucking mouth and get off my phone.
 '''Troll 2:''' Epic fuckin' failure.
 '''Troll 1:''' Hey Bob. Hey Bob. What would you say that ''(indistinct)'' I'm a multi-millionaire?
 ''(Bob hangs up.)''
 '''Troll 2:''' [[Slow-in-the-minds|He hung up, man.]] Oh my god!
 '''Troll 1:''' That was fucking awesome.
 '''Troll 2:''' Dude, man, we got him fucking admitting he’s a part of the KKK!
 '''Troll 1:''' Dude, upload that shit ''now''!
 '''Troll 2:''' Got it! [[Speech impediment|I'm a - I'm got - got - m'kay]] - got it. Got it.

==Chris calls the Po-Po; Po-Po calls Bob==
Most of this call is the CWC soundboard trying to get around the standard questions of the Greene County Sheriff Department's receptionist. The last two minutes involve a police soundboard calling Bob. The only notable things about this call are that it resulted in the police being sent to [[14 Branchland Court]] and that [[Bob]] called Everybody Loves Raymond "I love Raymond". Note: The CWCki doesn't condone or support pranking legitimate business and services (like the police) in order to prank the Chandlers.

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===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}

==Calls to Bob and Chris==
A <s>troll posing as a</s> [[Honest|TRUE and LOYAL]] Sonichu Fan calls Bob and later Chris, demanding [[Sonichu (comic)|new comics]]. The lumberjack suggests that the trolls come talk with him in public, and gives his [[Burger king|daily morning routine]].
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===Transcript===
(Phone rings for about 19 seconds)
Bob: Hello?
Fan: Hello, am I speaking to a Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?
Bob: Uh well he's not here right now could I take a message?
Fan: Uh yes I-I'm a big fan of the Sonichu comics. Uh could you ask him when the uh we uh(?) when we can expect another Sonichu release?
Bob: I don't really know and I don't know he's got one planned right now.
Fan: Oh.
Bob: (Says something that sounds like gibberish) Trolls are givin' him a kinda tough time.
Fan: Yeah, I hate the trolls.
{{Transcription}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]