CWCki - User contributions [en]

Forgot the Glitter

2012-02-27T03:54:42Z

The Dark Hero: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}

'''Forgot the Glitter''' (leaked as ''vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance in the changing room of a [[Walmart]] for [[Jackie]]. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated.

[[Chris]], dressed in his gut-wrapping red tank top and jean skirt, wobbles his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal the [[tomgirl|Transgender]] symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris' continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the [[Homos|LGBT community]]. Although the symbol appears to be rendered in Crayola marker and not tattoo ink, it wouldn't be entirely past Chris to have himself forever branded like the gender-confused cow he strives to be. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience [[Chris]] finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "[[Jackie|J.PIE]]", because nothings says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle in your skirt.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request; a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a sane individual, has been absent in Chris's [[Love Quest|pursuit]] of appeasing a sweetheart until now. Still though, the completed video further illustrates that when [[china]] is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Forgot the Glitter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wRD1EBmaRx4}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Sex}}
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Red tank top
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[We see Chris in his tomgirl get up, bent over to talk to the camera in a change room in Wal-Mart.]''

I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded then I thought...

What the hell is going on with that light?

Anyway, mmmm. Enjoy the 2 minutes in the dressing room here.

''[Chris begins to shake his body]''

Walla walla Walmart Walla walla Wal-Mart, Walla walla walla walla walla Wal-Mart walla walla

''[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera.]''

Walla walla Wal-Mart walla walla walla walla Wal-Mart

Deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Wal-Mart

walla walla Walmart walla walla Wal-Mart shake that, walla walla Wal-Mart

''[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing.]''

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Wal-Mart

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla

Check your progress, check your progress, walla walla Wal-Mart

''[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up.]''

Oh! the things I do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

([[Stress Sigh|sigh]]) Jackie I'll progress. Check my progress.
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Little Tomboy Blue

2012-02-27T03:43:08Z

The Dark Hero: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}

'''Little Tomboy Blue''' (leaked as '''urqehgvuierg''') is a horrifying video of [[Chris]] stripping for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]] to musical accompaniment, leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

Chris, in full [[tomgirl]] garb, uses his [[PS3]] to play "[[Wikipedia:Fuck the Pain Away|Fuck the Pain Away]]" by electroclash artist [[Wikipedia:Peaches (musician)|Peaches]] as he poorly imitates traditional stripper mannerisms. Interspersed in the actual song are his made-up lyrics, mostly nonsensical exclamations of his tomgirl pride. As the video progresses, Chris sheds more and more of his clothing, eventually revealing his [[muscle bra]] and panties, with his abdominal flab spilling over the waistline. At points in the video, Chris turns his backside toward the camera and pulls down the panties to jiggle his fat ass. Toward the end, Chris removes his bra and slowly massages his nipples while repeatedly uttering the song's final chorus, thus ensuring that all of our recurring nightmares are replaced by Stripping Chris himself.

It is unknown whether or not Jackie explicitly requested this video, or Chris taped it as a spontaneous "gift". However, unaware that most strippers are not only [[obesity|thin]] but also [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], Chris's hamfisted attempt at impressing Jackie instead comes across as thoroughly disgusting and creepy. Many [[Relics of Fail]] are visible in this video, including several [[Sonichu]] cutouts, and the original [[Attraction Sign]] from 2003, which, evidently, Chris has found important enough to have kept taped to his wall almost nine years later.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Little Tomboy Blue
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Dada-uqoDUY}}
| stardate =
| subject = Strip tease
| style = {{Comedy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue/navy tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
{{Transcription}}
Little Tomboy Blue? Come blow my [[duck|horn]].

''[Chris begins to perform an awkward dance to ‘Fuck the Pain Away’. He reaches over to grab an unidentifiable object, a substitute for a stripper’s pole, and attempts to entice the audience with a more suggestive dance. In usual Chris fashion, he begins to sing.]''
Suckin’ on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my chrissy behind

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of [[tomgirl|tomgirls]]! Huh? What?

''[During this time, he begins to raise his shirt up, displaying a taste of the [[Obesity|horrors]] within.]''

''[Forgets the first few words, and stumbles on several lines.]''
...on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my chrissy behind ''[Slaps his rear.]''

It's fine all of the time

What else is in the teaches of tomgirls?

Like sex on the beaches, Huh? What?

''[At this point, he managed to remove his shirt and now he swings it around as though he were arousing his audience.]''

Huh? Right. What? Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He throws the shirt toward the camera, resuming the painfully long striptease. Following this, he lifts up his sports bra to give an eyeful of one manboob to the world. For a moment or two, he fondles it, giving orgasm faces to the camera. Thankfully, Chris puts the bra back on for the time being.]''

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He sounds somewhat winded during this bit, and he sets his eyes on a new goal. Rocking his hips, he appears to struggle a tad with his jeans, awkwardly pulling them slightly down before pulling them back up. Eventually, he manages to slip them off and drops them in front of the camera.]''

SIS IUD, stay in [[Honor Roll|school]] 'cause it's the best

IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

Sucking' on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my chrissy behind ''[Slaps his rear again.]''

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of tomgirls? Huh? What?

''[Horrifically, he begins to thrust his hips more prominently than before. Obviously [[Chris and Health|growing tired]], his hips begin to gyrate, repeatedly flashing the audience his ass. At one point, Chris attempts to lift both legs to waist height. He has to grab them with his arms to accomplish this, and immediately grimaces with the pain of physical effort.]''

[[Fuck Quest|Fuck the pain away]]. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

''[Begins singing the lyrics early.]'' Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He is now fondling his manboobs underneath the bra. With his back turned, slowly struggling some, he begins removing his sports bra to display his 42 inch bust to the world.]''

What else in the teaches of tomgirls?

Like sex on the beaches

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[After throwing the bra toward the camera, he has a delayed reaction with what he was doing, and covers his chest with his arms. Chris then proceeds to squeeze his breasts together for massive cleavage results.]''

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Little Tomboy Blue

2012-02-27T03:42:41Z

The Dark Hero:

{{Honest}}

'''Little Tomboy Blue''' (leaked as '''urqehgvuierg''') is a horrifying video of [[Chris]] stripping for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]] to musical accompaniment, leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

Chris, in full [[tomgirl]] garb, uses his [[PS3]] to play "[[Wikipedia:Fuck the Pain Away|Fuck the Pain Away]]" by electroclash artist [[Wikipedia:Peaches (musician)|Peaches]] as he poorly imitates traditional stripper mannerisms. Interspersed in the actual song are his made-up lyrics, mostly nonsensical exclamations of his tomgirl pride. As the video progresses, Chris sheds more and more of his clothing, eventually revealing his [[muscle bra]] and panties, with his abdominal flab spilling over the waistline. At points in the video, Chris turns his backside toward the camera and pulls down the panties to jiggle his fat ass. Toward the end, Chris removes his bra and slowly massages his nipples while repeatedly uttering the song's final chorus, thus ensuring that all of our recurring nightmares are replaced by Stripping Chris himself.

It is unknown whether or not Jackie explicitly requested this video, or Chris taped it as a spontaneous "gift". However, unaware that most strippers are not only [[obesity|thin]] but also [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], Chris's hamfisted attempt at impressing Jackie instead comes across as thoroughly disgusting and creepy. Many [[Relics of Fail]] are visible in this video, including several [[Sonichu]] cutouts, and the original [[Attraction Sign]] from 2003, which, evidently, Chris has found important enough to have kept taped to his wall almost nine years later.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Little Tomboy Blue
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Dada-uqoDUY}}
| stardate =
| subject = Strip tease
| style = {{Comedy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue/navy tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
{{Transcription}}
Little Tomboy Blue? Come blow my [[duck|horn]].

''[Chris begins to perform an awkward dance to ‘Fuck the Pain Away’. He reaches over to grab an unidentifiable object, a substitute for a stripper’s pole, and attempts to entice the audience with a more suggestive dance. In usual Chris fashion, he begins to sing.]''
Suckin’ on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my chrissy behind

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of [[tomgirl|tomgirls]]! Huh? What?

''[During this time, he begins to raise his shirt up, displaying a taste of the [[Obesity|horrors]] within.]''

''[Forgets the first few words, and stumbles on several lines.]''
...on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my chrissy behind ''[Slaps his rear.]''

It's fine all of the time

What else is in the teaches of tomgirls?

Like sex on the beaches, Huh? What?

''[At this point, he managed to remove his shirt and now he swings it around as though he were arousing his audience.]''

Huh? Right. What? Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He throws the shirt toward the camera, resuming the painfully long striptease. Following this, he lifts up his sports bra to give an eyeful of one manboob to the world. For a moment or two, he fondles it, giving orgasm faces to the camera. Thankfully, Chris puts the bra back on for the time being.]''

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He sounds somewhat winded during this bit, and he sets his eyes on a new goal. Rocking his hips, he appears to struggle a tad with his jeans, awkwardly pulling them slightly down before pulling them back up. Eventually, he manages to slip them off and drops them in front of the camera.]''

SIS IUD, stay in [[Honor Roll|school]] 'cause it's the best

IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

IUD SIS, stay in school 'cause it's the best

Sucking' on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my chrissy behind ''[Slaps his rear again.]''

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of tomgirls? Huh? What?

''[Horrifically, he begins to thrust his hips more prominently than before. Obviously [[Chris and Health|growing tired]], his hips begin to gyrate, repeatedly flashing the audience his ass. At one point, Chris attempts to lift both legs to waist height. He has to grab them with his arms to accomplish this, and immediately grimaces with the pain of physical effort.]''

[[Fuck Quest|Fuck the pain away]]. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

''[Begins singing the lyrics early.]'' Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He is now fondling his manboobs underneath the bra. With his back turned, slowly struggling some, he begins removing his sports bra to display his 42 inch bust to the world.]''

What else in the teaches of tomgirls?

Like sex on the beaches

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[After throwing the bra toward the camera, he has a delayed reaction with what he was doing, and covers his chest with his arms. Chris then proceeds to squeeze his breasts together for massive cleavage results.]''
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]