CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica

2011-01-26T06:45:54Z

TheLastSamurai14: Changed a quote that included the phrase "blood, tears, and semenal descent" to link to the "Rape" section of the "Chris and sex" page. After all, the quote really does bring that to mind.

Within days of the creation of the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-chan]] article on '''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''', [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was aware of its existence due to his frequent ego-searches for himself and [[Sonichu]]. Chris obviously paid close attention to the page from the beginning, but he managed to resist the temptation to make his own changes to the article for nearly a week before plunging in with dozens of attempts to make himself look good on the page or convince [[ED]] to leave him alone.

Ironically, virtually every embarrassing detail we now know about Chris, outside of his [[YouTube]] videos and his Sonichu website, was first presented to ED ''by himself'', in these edits.

Chris's rationale was "TMI-Input-To-Overload-Their-Minds-And-STOP,"<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#The_E.D._Webpage]]</ref> believing that if he told [[troll]]s details about how pathetic his life is, they would feel sorry for him or be too freaked out to do anything. Of course, being the [[Internet]], it only made the trolls want to troll him even more, and is analogous to a child telling his bullies not to beat him up because he still wets the bed - it has a totally negative effect.

{{TOC limit|limit=2}}

===Known ED sockpuppets===

Chris used numerous sockpuppet accounts to avoid drawing undue attention upon himself. This didn't work because each of these socks were easily identified as Chris, since they were the only users on the entire site who cared enough about him to defend him. Also, most of these socks identified themselves in their edits as being Christian Weston Chandler, so that was a big clue.

* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Reldnahc Reldnahc] (active 10 Nov 2007 - 10 Jan 2007; 14 Aug 2008 - 12 Sep 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Chris-chan Chris-chan] (active 30 Dec 2007)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Denilah Denilah] (active 19 Jan 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Clyde Clyde] (active 21 Jan 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Glith Glith] (active 25 Jan 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn Waltbunn] (active 26 Jan 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltermelon Waltermelon] (active 12 Mar 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Christian-Weston-Chandler Christian-Weston-Chandler] (active 15 Mar 2008 - 21 Mar 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/SAVE_CHRIS_CHAN SAVE CHRIS CHAN] (active 7 Aug 2008)
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf Jamplerf] (active 14 Aug 2008)

===November 2007===

====10 November====

'''From 1:10-2:28am EST (06:10-07:28 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* See edits [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465 here]

* First attempt to sanitize the article, removing words he doesn't like ("retarded," "scary") and changing others ("racist" to "Old-Fashioned").

* Removes a thumbnail of Goatse from his article. This was his very first edit, so it looks like he was trying to resist getting involved but Goatse crossed the line.

* Changes "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN']]" rainbow pyramid to read "DIVINE RETRIBUTION", then to "[[Mass debating|MASTURBATE]]" with the added note "Every Person is Doing it!!" Later adds: "Aahhhhhhhh...Relief... :)"

* Changes comment about the medallion being bloody awful and made of clay to being good and made of "crayola model magic." (This is how we first learned what the hell the medal is made of.)

* Changes references to the [[the Tale of the Crazy Pacer|Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] to place the incident in 2004 (at age 22) instead of 2006 (at age 24). ED was going by the date Anna posted the blog entry; Chris seems to be referring to when the incident actually happened.

* Edits a section on him being racist to read:

{{quote|Oh yeah, he's also Old Fashioned. In his idea of a Sweetheart, she is not Black. He is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|blood, tears and semenal descent.]]}}

* Changes a paragraph asking why he wears the medallion to effectively answer the question:

{{quote|Why does he insists on wearing? It identifies him for the high-funcioning Autistic individual that he is. It's speculated it may give him some [[Anchuent Prophecy|secret]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|power]]. Like Psychic Powers and Quick-Play Speed.}}

* Changes a sentence mocking the way he says [[tobacky]] to explain why he said it:

{{quote|He also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky"(said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon.}}

* Changes this paragraph:
{{quote|He also calls being gay a vice, and cites Dr. Kinsey. I don't know what Dr. Kinsey he's talking about, but the only famous Dr. Kinsey I know contradicts everything he just said. But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love.}}
: To the following:
{{quote|He also calls being gay VICE, and cites Dr. Kinsey. The only famous Dr. Kinsey I know agreed with everything he just said (Rent the Kinsey movie "R" rated or Unrated from your local movie store). But yet again, a 25 year old virgin knows all about love, especially after fucking a plastic woman full of his hot air now and then.}}

* Corrects description of his portrayal of Mary Lee Walsh to: "Grey-Haired Witch with a shoddy Devil-Style Viking Helmit" (It remains a common misconception that MLW's golden, horned helmet is blonde hair with protruding devil horns.)

* Informs us that "Resources found that Mary has obtained a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD from her pawn, Susan Hannifan."

* Adds a link to veoh.com: "The Ignored Veoh.com, with all the free porn to download at 5kbits a second"

* Changes the caption of fan art depicting him with the sign to say "The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of"

At 7:28 p.m. EST (00:28 GMT, 11 Nov), Chris makes this edit:

* More general sanitizing, changing the captions of the images to be more pro-CWC. This edit would be reverted just 90 minutes later, but the earlier edits would get left in the article for some time.

====11 November====

'''Between 11:40 p.m. EST, 10 Nov and 12:42 a.m. EST 11 Nov (04:41-05:12 GMT 11 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* See edits [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 here]

* As Chris's edits get larger, he uses some sort of sub-par text editor that adds unnecessary line breaks, screwing up ED's line-by-line comparison, which makes it harder to tell what he's added.

[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|right|"Come and lick my pussy, my [[Jerkop]] slave."]]
* Uploads the following pictures:
:*[[:File:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG|Hedgehogs in FLuv.JPG]] - the Sonichu/Rosechu sex picture later used in Sonichu 8.
:*[[:File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|Mary Wants It.JPG]] - Mary Lee nude, beckoning her Jerkop slave to pleasure her.
:*[[:File:BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG|Bubbles and Black Sonichu.JPG]] - Bubbles riding cowgirl on Black Sonichu at the beach.
:*[[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|Angelica in God's Eyes.JPG]] - Angelica masturbating in her bedroom.
:* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] - Christian fingering Megan.
:*[[:File:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg]] - The kiss scene from Sonichu 0.
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG - duplicate Sonichu/Rosechu picture.
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG - Duplicate Bubbles/Blachu picture.
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG - Duplicate Angelica picture.
:* She came for CWC2.JPG - Duplicate Chris/Megan picture.

* Adds some of these images to the gallery, with captions:

:* SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Kiss"
:* HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG "Sonichu and Rosechu's First Fuck-a-Thon"
:* BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG "Bubbles...and Black Sonichu?!!!"
:* AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!"
:* ShecameforCWC.JPG "Your sister has cum for me"
:* MaryWantsIt.JPG [no caption]

* Chris trying to play off the girl he's fingering in the picture as "''your'' sister" almost certainly fueled the assumption that she was actually ''Christian's'' (imaginary) sister Crystal.

* Puts the rainbow pyramid back and has it read "WOMEN MASTURBATING" with the note "Why not? Everybody's Doing it. Hmm...Awesomely Relieving and Visually Appealing."

* He adds several lengthy, revealing sections about himself:

:* He implies that he masturbates to [[Excel Saga]].
:* [[Random-access_humor#Random Ramblings|Random Ramblings]], apparently meant to show [[lie|he's funny]].
:* Lyrics for [[So Need a Cute Girl]]
:* His shitty [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]
:* And his addiction to soda:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>===THE SODA JERK===</nowiki> 

YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking [[biological clock]] as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a Sweetheart, so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my High School years. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and random projects keep me up all night as well.</blockquote>
'''At 1:55 p.m. EST (18:58 GMT), Chris made the following edits:'''
* Some of his previous updates have been undone, so he's back to put them in again. Amazingly, somebody from [[ED]] actually ''took out'' the Rule 34 pictures. ([[Reldnahc]]'s identity as Christian appears to be unrealized at this point; perhaps nobody thought CWC would actually show his face on the site.) More amazingly, Chris ''put them back in'', so he made the same dumb mistake ''twice''.

====12 November====

'''Between 10:05 p.m. EST, 11 Nov and 12:20 a.m. EST, 12 Nov (03:06-05:19 GMT 12 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Removes thumbnails of fan art of himself having sex with Sonichu, of Rosechu as a she-male having sex with Sonichu, and of himself with his penis hanging out of his pants.
* Puts his "Random Ramblings" from November 11 back on the article, with added random access humor.
* Adds several new sections:
:* [[Saddest heart in the world (poem)|CWC's ''Saddest Heart in the World'' Poem]], apparently intended to draw sympathy. (Spoiler: It didn't work.)
:* Excerpts from his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], perhaps to show he can laugh with us at us.
:* An update on Megan:
<blockquote>
<nowiki>===What happened to Sailor Megtune?===</nowiki> 
"Yes, while I did have a crush on Megan for like a couple of years since I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh, she was rejectful of romance. In August, [[2007]] after the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest, she sent me an e-mail that fucked the shit out of my heart.

It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover. But I eventually did, and I am, and have been since about mid-September, in a well-sound state of mind. So I had to go back to my fucking lonesome and damn enduring Sweetheart Search.
<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[sigh]]* The things I would do for TRUE LOVE and my future daughter.
</blockquote>

:* Information about his work in Guitar Hero:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>===Christian Weston Chandler...Guiter Hero of Cwcville===</nowiki> 

"I rocked it hard February 3, 2007 at the Gamestop by Forest Lakes. It was close, but thanks to my HARDCORE months of

practice, I CONQURED!!! ''[[Wikipedia: Free Bird|Freebird]]'' on Expert was awfully tough, but I scored highest above my opponent in the Final Round

with that song. I won a cool T-Shirt."

"I also watched the new [[Guitar Hero]] episode of ''[[South Park]]'' November 7, [[2007]]; it was awesomely hilarious. Apparently the creators had a big thing for ''[[Wikipedia:Carry On, My Wayward Son|Carry On Wayward Son]]''; I don't blame them, except for waiting through the intro lyrics, it is a fuckin' awesome song. Although Boston's ''More Than A Feeling'' is the World's Greatest Song, hands down. Thank you, Aqua Teens for agreeing on that."
</blockquote>
:* Pictures and thoughts on his [[Officer Nasty]] doll. (The pictures somehow don't make it onto ED; that's okay because he's tricked into providing them again later.)
<blockquote>
<nowiki>===Cheese it, the cops!!===
[[Image:1000650.JPG|thumb|Nah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury.]]
[[Image:1000651.JPG|thumb|Yeah... Look at those big hooters!]]
[[Image:1000652.JPG|thumb|Oops, she popped her top. :D]]
</nowiki>
</blockquote>
 
'''Between 8:59 and 9:09 p.m. EST, 12 Nov (1:59-02:09 GMT 13 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Virignia time: 8:59-9:09pm, 12 November 2007
* Puts his shit back in.
* Amends a sentence defending the jerkops to say "they're all just doing their jobs '''of enforcing an awesomely [[Virginia is for Virgins|fucked-up false law]].'''"

* Adds this:
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like [[ED]] and [[4chan]] to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

===13 November===

'''At 2:15 p.m. EST (19:14 GMT), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Sanitizing the article again, and putting his material back in.
* Adds this description of Jerkops: "the imposter police in colors OTHER than BLUE or BLACK who enforce the fucked-up false law of Virginia is for Virgins; not lovers".
* Edits a recommendation that [[Autistic]] people should be avoided to say "Despite it being highly recommended that anyone with [[Autism]] '''will get stared at in deep depth'''"
* Adds a link to one of his diary entries, which is a tinyurl link pointing to what was presumably his [[MySpace]] blog before he took it down in 2008.

===14 November===

'''Between 11:29 and 11:43 p.m. EST (04:29-04:43 GMT, 15 Nov), Chris makes the following edits:
'''
* Creates the user page for Reldnahc. Spends fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to embed an MP3 of So Need a Cute Girl directly onto the page, but fails.
* Puts his material back into the ED article, possibly other minor edits.

===28 December===

'''Edit made at 12:25 a.m. EST (05:26 GMT):'''

* By this point Chris seems to be copy-pasting a poorly-formatted copy of the article as he wants it to appear. Ironically, several insults directed at him, which had been edited for length, are now reintroduced by his reversion. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997377875]

===30 December===

'''Edits made at 12:13-12:14 (05:13-05:14 GMT):'''

* Now using a new account, "Chris-chan", Chris replaces three whole articles (his own, as well as "Scared kitty" and "Insane Clown Posse/TL;DR‎") with "Stop spreading LIES about me!" [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997380740] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Scared_kitty&diff=prev&oldid=1997380741] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Insane_Clown_Posse/TL%3BDR&diff=prev&oldid=1997380745]

==2008==

===10 January===

'''Chris makes the following edit at 2:49 p.m. EST (19:49 GMT)

* Chris replaces the entire article with "<nowiki>[vo!d]</nowiki>" [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997396041]

===19 January===

'''Edit made at 4:35 a.m. (09:35 GMT)

* Denilah replaces the entire article with the following:

<blockquote>Dahlings, by order of of President [[George W. Bush|George Bush Junior]], there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.

Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.

From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,

The President, George Bush</blockquote>

: It's unclear if Denilah was Chris, since there are many trolls who vandalize the page for lulz. But if Chris were going to convince people that someone who is not Chris says the page must not be edited, this is probably what it would look like. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266]

===21 January===

'''Edit made at 4:43 a.m. EST (09:43 GMT):'''

* As Clyde ([[Clyde Cash|no relation?]]), Chris replaces the article with:

<blockquote>
<center>*****POST NO BILLS*****</center>
<center>There is absolutely no meaning in cyber bullying. And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|tasteful art]]; go out and socialize.
 You don't need to terrorize the innocent. Please. Stop mocking not just me, but all the individuals you have hurt with this crappy bullying, Because IT HURTS YOU AND US ALL.
 Thank you.
 Christian Weston Chandler.</center>
 [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997406599&oldid=1997405835]</blockquote>

===25 January===

'''Edits made from 6:10 to 6:16 a.m EST (11:10-11:16 GMT):'''

* A new account, Glith, adds a message to the Chris-chan talk page, saying "I KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK," adding "so there". [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997409944]

* Glith replaces the article with the a request that ED persecute [[Joshua Martinez]] instead of Chris. This doesn't seem to work—something about personal armies or something. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947]

===26 January===

'''Edits made 6:15-6:27 a.m. EST (11:15-11:27 GMT):'''

* As Waltbunn, Chris blanks the article (and its talk page) and tries to come up with some sort of wiki tag that will somehow prevent further editing or otherwise destroy the article. None of this shit works, of course.<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Waltbunn</ref>

===12 March===

'''Edits made at 5:52 a.m. EDT (09:52 GMT)'''

* On the same day that Megan and Chris exchange emails about Megan's outrage over the fingerbanging picture, Waltermelon removes virtually every reference to Megan from the article, as well as the Chris/Megan sex drawing Chris himself posted in November 2007. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997467336&oldid=1997465382]

===15 March===

'''Edits made from 8:49-8:57 a.m. EDT (12:49-12:57 GMT):'''
[[Image:TomTomCloseup.jpg|thumb|right|Chris used this image, TomTomCloseup.jpg, to replace [[ShecameforCWC]].]]
* Christian-Weston-Chandler uploads a new file, TomTomCloseup.jpg‎, which is a closeup of the vagina in the original ShecameforCWC.JPG drawing. He replaces ShecameforCWC.JPG with TomTomCloseup.jpg‎ in the article. Presumably his reasoning here is that if he can't get ED to let him take the picture down altogether, he can compromise with them by substituting a different drawing that at least doesn't show Megan's face.

* He then repeatedly deletes and re-inserts the same section of text about Megan, as if he's not sure whether it should be in the article or not. He may be thinking that these edits will distract from his actual goal, which is to eliminate ShecameforCWC.JPG. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997471349&oldid=1997469851]

:This plan is successful for maybe two days, until the article is protected and CrumpetTrumpet identifies the chicanery. Note that everyone is still of the opinion that it's Crystal in the drawing--nobody, including Megan, would have ever known he drew her nude if he'd known when to shut up. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475778&oldid=1997475129]

'''9:13 p.m. EDT (01:13 GMT 16 Mar):'''

* Chris edits a notice alerting ED users to his vandalism to read: "Christian Weston Chandler is currently trying to vandalize this article. You can help by explaining why you hate him so much as to contribute to this drama-mama."

===17 March===

'''8:39-8:48 p.m. EDT (00:39-00:48 GMT 18 Mar):'''

* Chris tries to replace the Megan drawing with the TomTomCloseup.jpg‎ again. He also removes references to Megan and to his vandalism of the article (although he ''adds'' a list of his known sockpuppets, for some reason; he may be working from an earlier revision without reading it). He seriously thinks he can ban ED users WhiteMystery and CrumpetTrumpet from his own article by merely posting tables which are presumably crude copies of templates. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997475972&oldid=1997475794]

'''10:58-10:59 p.m. EDT (02:58-02:59 GMT 18 Mar):'''

* Chris uploads his cover art for his [[Adult Chronicles]] game, for PS2, PS3, and Wii, and adds them to the article, noting "Never on HEXBox!" He again tries to remove the Megan drawing and the list of sockpuppets. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476177&oldid=1997475996]

===18 March===

'''12:07-12:11 a.m. EDT (04:07-04:11 GMT):'''

* Chris by now seems more concerned with dispelling the notion that he wants to have sex with Crystal than with taking down the Megan drawing. He changes this:

{{quote|...and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister.}}

: to read:
{{quote|and drawing pictures of himself having sex with Megan, who would never want to do it with him anyhow; what a sadsack virginal loser.}}

: He makes other alterations to the captions of thumbnails to mock himself for wanting sex with Megan, all the better to prevent anyone from drawing the more (hypothetically) incestuous conclusion. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476252&oldid=1997476245]

'''9:00-9:10 a.m. EDT (13:00-13:10 GMT):'''

* Chris again changes the sentence about him wanting to have sex with his imaginary sister to "his lost Sailor Soldier, Megan, who dumped his sorry ass for drawing the pic of him fucking her; she never even had any inkling of interest in him. What a intolerable sad-sack loser."

* He edits the article's implication that he only claims to be autistic, citing "paperwork from doctors and psychologists and other quacks."

* By now he has stopped trying to remove the Megan drawing and merely moves it around the article. Megan appears to have said something to him that has made him stop giving a shit. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997476698&oldid=1997476683]

===19 March===

'''6:15 p.m. EDT (22:15 GMT):'''

* Chris removes paragraphs about Megan again, and tries for the second time to ban users by putting up crude templates saying they're banned. His banhammer is aimed at users who have reverted his edits: WhiteMystery, CrumpetTrumpet, Weatherman, Drunkenlazybastard, and MysteryBot. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997478479&oldid=1997476922]

===20 March===

'''8:14-8:40 p.m. EDT (00:14-00:40 GMT 21 Mar)''':

* Christian decides if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and presents [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]] He also continues to delete sections about Megan and references to wanting to have sex with Crystal. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997480063&oldid=1997479407]

===21 March===

'''1:08-1:09 p.m. EDT (17:08-17:09 GMT):''',

* Chris deletes large, seemingly arbitrary portions of the article, strangely leaving parts of it intact. He specifically targets a drawing of Rosechu with a penis. This appears to be his final round of edits to ED until August 2008. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997481251&oldid=1997480886]

===7 August===

'''2:03 a.m. EDT (06:03 GMT):'''

* A user known only as SAVE CHRIS CHAN replaces the article with "YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! CWC DOES NOT DESERVE ALL THIS HATE!" [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997693022]

===13 August===

'''8:48-8:49 p.m. EDT (00:48-00:49 GMT 14 Aug):'''

* Reldnahc returns to the Chris-chan talk page with this announcement concerning the alleged medallion theft: [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997701173]

<blockquote>
<nowiki>=== Hey, B-Itches, Quit your barkin'. ===</nowiki> 

I have returned to my comic drawing, one page at a time, so you can quit your slanderous, unrequired cries for attention. Also, I LAUGH at your mockery of a medal imitation; yours looks MORE like a sugar cookie I had with lunch...from a Grocery Store; Free Cookies!

The neighbors have been complaining, and they have provided over a Thousand signatures on the Petition; let your Encyclopedogia Bitchmatica get its injection for eternal sleep.

|----

Middle Finger in your "Ear Lot Evil".
</blockquote>

===14 August===

'''7:41-7:45 p.m. EDT (23:41-23:45 GMT):'''

* Jamplerf replaces both the Chris-chan and 4chan articles with "Fuck you, ED." It's difficult to determine whether this is really Chris or a troll capitalizing on the wave of CWC-mania at the time, but the vandalism is consistent with Christian's focus on 4chan as an enemy. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/Jamplerf]

===17 August===

'''6:18 a.m. EDT (10:18 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes a (probably apocryphal) story on the talk page about him deliberately getting into a car wreck with a pretty girl as a pretext to asking her on a date. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997706991]

====18 August====

'''2:46 a.m. EDT (06:46 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes discussion of his parents' names and home address. You may be noticing by this point that the harder he tries the worse things get. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Talk:Chris-chan/Archive8&diff=prev&oldid=1997708544]

===22 August===

'''10:38-10:43 p.m. EDT (02:38-02:43 GMT 23 Aug):'''

* Chris furiously tries to remove any reference to his home phone number and address from the Chris-chan article and the talk page. He finally says:

<blockquote><nowiki>===IF YOU BOTHER ME===</nowiki>

I will STAR69 Your Number or call 911!
You are NOT Freakin' TMZ, so just leave me Alone with Peace of my Mind. [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
</blockquote>

===30 August===

'''5:09 a.m. EDT (09:09 GMT):'''

* In a curiously low-key edit, Chris corrects a report about him getting kicked out of his favorite shop, changing "GameStop" to "Game Place".

===2 September===

'''4:00-4:27 a.m. EDT (08:00-08:27 GMT):'''

* Chris uploads nine nude drawings of Rosechu and replaces transsexual and homoerotic Sonichu fan art with them. (Later, in [[Sonichu 8]], these images are shown to be photographs taken by Rosechu herself and uploaded to [[4-cent_garbage.com]].) [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997731317&oldid=1997731056]

* While he's doing this he makes an odd comment in the caption of a picture of Crystal: "Crystal has her vagina ready too."

===3 September===

'''3:53-6:19 p.m. EDT (19:53-22:19 GMT):'''

* Christian reverts edits of his new Rosechu nudes. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733933]

* On his Reldnahc user talk page, Chris finds himself repeatedly blanking the page to remove a template showing dozens of images of penises. In response he creates a gallery of erotic imagery he has found on ED that meets with his approval, and posts it on both his user page and its talk page. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733922] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=User:Reldnahc&diff=prev&oldid=1997733919]

* Chris also continues to try to correct the assumption that it is Crystal and not Megan in the fingerbanging art. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997733937]

===4 September===

'''2:37-4:21 a.m. EDT (06:37-08:21 GMT):'''

* Chris deletes large portions of the Reldnahc talk page criticizing his edits, and struggles to keep the dongs off the page and his gallery on. He issues variations of this statement on Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>**DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!**</nowiki> 

I AM ADDING THE POSITIVITY THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE DESPERATELY NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED Additions to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!! 

And I will continue to draw my own TASTEFUL NUDE FEMALE ART, with HONEST VAGINA, UTERUS AND OVARIES to my heart's and RAGE AGAINST YOU DICK-HEADS content. 

If you want me to stop, Draw Breasts, Vaginas, Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them on ALL ROSECHU FANART for yourselves, you Two-Inch Short Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!! 

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler, 
A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace. 

{{quote|P.S. I FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR MOCKERIES; YOU ALL ARE JUST JERK IDIOTS.|Chris-Chan}}
</blockquote>

'''10:21-11:14 p.m. EDT (02:21-03:14 GMT 5 Sep):'''

* Chris continues battling to either remove the penises on his talk page or change them into pictures of boobies and vaginas. During this flurry of edits he also begins to weed out pictures he previously put in his "choice ED pics" of Dot from Animaniacs, Cream from Sonic the Hedgehog, and Misty from Pokémon; this seems to be out of concern that people think he is fapping to underage characters, since this comes within hours of his announcement that Rosechu is eighteen years old.

===7 September===

'''1:07 a.m. EDT (05:07 GMT):'''

* Chris makes an edit to dispute the assertion that his Rule 34 drawings had to have been drawn prior to ED's discovery of him. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997739363]

===9 September===
'''9:17-9:34 p.m. EDT (01:17-01:34 GMT 10 Sep):'''

* Chris edits the section for the newly-released Episode 18, trying to make sure everyone understands that the villains of the piece are Jason Kendrick Howell and a thinly-veiled analogue of ED. He continues to insist that it's Megan, not Crystal, in the fingerbanging picture.

* On his user page and usertalk page, Chris continues in vain to stop the influx of pickles.

===11 September===

'''10:15-10:16 p.m. EDT (02:15-02:16 GMT):'''

* Chris by now realizes the n00dz he thought he sent to [[Blanca]] actually ended up in the hands of the Man in the Pickle Suit, and they're all on ED. He blanks the Chris-chan, User:Reldnahc, and User talk:Reldnahc articles. All three articles are reverted in minutes; ED's MysteryBot automatically suspends the Reldnahc account for at least 24 hours. This presumably discourages Chris from making further attempts to salvage his reputation, as there is little evidence of him contributing to ED from this point forward.

===16 March===
'''Edits made at 5:45 p.m. EDT (21:42-21:45 GMT):'''

* The Chris-chan account, which has lay dormant since 30 December 2007, suddenly reappears to leave cryptic messages on the articles for [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Cho_Seung-Hui&diff=prev&oldid=1997961206 Cho Seung-Hui] and [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Tim_Kretschmer&diff=prev&oldid=1997961205 Tim Kretschmer], and to replace the Chris-chan article with this message:

<blockquote>One day you FUCKERS will pay for what you have done!

You made [[Megan]] live! MY ONLY FUCKING SWEETHEART! YOU WILL PAY!

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

REMOVE THIS FUCKING ARTICLE, 4 CENT GARBAGE![http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997961209&oldid=1997960172]</blockquote>

: Chris's password strength is notoriously weak, and it's very likely someone has hijacked one or more of his ED account, especially now that this article exists to list his sockpuppets.

===May 2009===

===14 May===

'''Edits made at 6:53-6:54 p.m. EDT (22:53-22:54 GMT):'''

* A new account, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu], is created and used to put the following message on the "Chris-chan" talk page:

<blockquote>
<nowiki>=== I've moved on last Tuesday ===</nowiki> 

I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?

Peace-Out,
Christian Weston Chandler.

<nowiki>--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)</nowiki>
</blockquote>

===15 May===

'''Edits made 11:35-11:36 p.m. EDT (3:35-3:36 GMT 16 May)'''

* ChrisChanSonichu adds the following to his previous message:

<blockquote>Hey, CLYDE, you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not Playstation. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.</blockquote>

* He then immediately reverts his own edit.

There has been speculation that the edits were fake, but his videos since the 15th of May have confirmed the information given, so it can reasonably be assumed that the account belongs to Chris.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]

{{The Internet}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

White knight

2011-01-25T05:52:33Z

TheLastSamurai14: Since the Jackie Saga is now over, I changed "Jackie is a troll and Chris is falling for it." to the past tense.

[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that he suffers from serious mental deficiencies of some kind.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably many more have helped give us the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he [[Dating education|magically dreams up his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to dealt with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids in card games]] and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeemable qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he [[The July 10th Messages|addressed a person named "SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''was'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center terror attacks]]. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but he used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son, Mike Junior, or not]]. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], allowed him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris is under a lot of [[stress]], and can not make the video. Mike Jr. is married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grieves and anger with three words [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing, so what's the problem?]]

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. So what's the problem?

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_wJvL2BAbQ real life trolls] at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to circumstances that cannot be foreseen, he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, but he's slow to act as well; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, TV Tropes doesn't have as much experience with Chris as we do and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

For reasons unknown, the message was removed.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal man alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]