CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sweetheart

2024-05-22T03:44:01Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: I think this is more honest and accurate. You can't even tell what preschoolers are trying to draw. Chris's drawings are childish, but not incoherent.

{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, a trip to a hooker (two in fact), and [[Affair with Mother|having sex with his mother]]. Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

*18 - [Chris's age then] Years Old (though not conclusive, as Barb was 79 years old back then)
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==
[[File:Chris-chan_010714.JPG|thumb|Helloooooo, ladies.]]

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that a special someone is waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to rebut the idea. (However, an argument could be made that [[Jacob Sockness]] qualifies.)

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are quite a few reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a 42 year old man who plays with children's toys and video games all day and lived with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] up until age 39 (when authorities separated them due to him committing [[incest]] with her). Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment are completely foreign concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly [[Chris and money|wasted on stupid shit he doesn't need]]. Even when this habit [[Financhu Crisis|sank the Chandler finances into an all-time low]], he refused to take responsibility; he instead [[Please, Donate|resorted]] [[Donation Request|to]] [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|e]]-[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|begging]] [[Donations_Requested,_Please|a]] [[Donations_Required,_Serious._Please_help|very]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_1|large]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_2|number]] [[Announcement_06292016|of]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|times]] like a child to make up for his failure to put the simplest of money aside for [[McDonald's|food]], bills and medicine. On top of that, he has implied that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home while his wife goes to work]]. He didn't even plan on looking after the kids for her; he'd have dumped this responsibility on his elderly mother. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has no idea how to behave around women.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that bother women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] [[Catherine|found]] themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. Chris has many childish mannerisms and social hindrances that are repugnant to women (and men alike); in the infamous [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]], these things are in abundance. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream "manchild", and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His [[transgender]] identity hasn't helped either - he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which doesn't even make him seem heterosexual anymore (sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomgirl pictures was [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|featured on MTV's ''Failosophy'']], where the ''only'' person who would date him was the [[Homos|gay guy]], provided he wasn't joking).

'''3) Chris is not trustworthy.''' Chris is known to [[List of Chris's lies|lie a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can grievously damage a woman's trust in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] has led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without meaning it. On his date with [[Catherine]], he made a point of bragging about learning from his mistakes with [[Megan]] shortly before he ''molested'' Catherine by hugging her and burying his face in her breasts, after specifically being told not to. Needless to say, had this been a real date, Catherine and "[[Cousin Al]]" would've [[Kick the Autistic|beaten him up]] or [[Michael Snyder|called the]] [[Jerkops|cops]] at this point.

'''4) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Chris is not inherently ugly, but his lifestyle and fashion choices have rendered his appearance deeply repulsive. Even before he started [[Transgender|dressing in feminine attire]], Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance, as shown in the picture above. When first spotted from a distance by Catherine, she believed she was looking at an ugly old woman. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|clinically obese]] and [[Hair|nearly bald]]. If Chris dressed somewhat fashionably, bothered grooming himself properly and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit. In fact, during Chris's stint as a [[Carlos Chantor|male escort]], his appearance was comparatively rather presentable and he appeared well-groomed.

'''5) Chris has poor hygiene.''' Chris takes little to no care of his personal hygiene. Chris has been described as having a putrid smell by people who met him in person, such as [[Emily]], [[Robert Simmons V]] and other field agents. For a while, Chris used [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower, as implied in an [[:File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Axe.jpg|ad]] for one of his Sonichu comics, seemingly oblivious to the fact that people can still detect his stench through all that deodorant. He also admits to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|literally shitting his pants]] on multiple occasions, most recently in 2021 (as far as we know). While his hygiene did [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|seemingly improve during his stay in jail]], it's unclear if it lasted, as he has since been described as smelling foul by [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Earthbound Trading Company|at least one witness, though another witness in the same vicinity has stated the contrary.]]

'''6) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A feature of autism is hostility to and even fear of change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it interferes with his immediate [[China|interests]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction, as many trolls posing as women have tried to do.

'''7) Chris has problems with authority.''' Despite the cliché that "all girls love [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|bad boys]]", a sensible woman is going to be put off by someone who is in constant trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. Consider that Chris has on [[26 December 2014|two]] separate [[28 October 2011|occasions]] come very close to being sent to jail for several months; this is on top of his other lesser [[List of places that have banned Chris|brushes with authority figures]]. And it's not even as though Chris's attitude stems from him [[Episode 17#Epilogue|fighting for an important cause]] - Chris is willing to risk imprisonment for something as petty as [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of an animated character's arms]]. Even if Chris does find his elusive sweetheart, few will be able to put up with the constant stream of bans, fines, and jail time brought about by Chris's [[Chris and anger|poor self-control]].

'''8) Chris is incompetent.''' Chris has claimed, numerous times, to be [[Chris and writing|proficient]] [[CADD|in]] [[Chris and art|several]] [[Chris and music|of the arts]], but in reality is incompetent in pretty much every sphere imaginable. He compares ''[[Father Call|cleaning his house to fighting in a war]]'', and even then, [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|his idea of "cleaning the house" leaves a lot to be desired]]. One could even argue that it's because of this and his lack of common sense that the aforementioned [[14 Branchland Court|house]] eventually [[2014 house fire|burned to the ground]], the result of him choosing to brew coffee in his bathroom with an extension cable propped over the door. He has been employed for maybe a few months in his whole life, then was fired, as he proved too [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical and stubborn]] [[Wendy's|to keep even a minimum wage job at a fast food place]], and he simply hasn't bothered since. He is completely inept when it comes to [[Chris and money|managing money]], meaning any relationship with him will be a [[Financhu Crisis|financial nightmare]]. He gets himself [[Banned|into]] [[28_October_2011|trouble]] way more times than he should, such as his attempts to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]], where basic common sense should have told him to stay away like he'd been told. So, long story short, ladies, If you were looking for somebody to be the "man of the house", would Chris even remotely fit the bill?

'''9) Chris's past will always return to haunt him.''' Thanks to the combined forces of the Internet, [[weens]], and even Chris ''[[Honest Content|himself]]'', there are literally [[Affair with Mother|volumes]] [[Death threats|of]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|unsavory]] [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|information]] about Chris out in the open for all to see, almost all of which is documented right here. Chris knows this all too well, which is why he strongly discourages anybody from doing even a simple Google Search about him. This was, in fact, one of the key reasons why he didn't even make it to first base with [[The Wallflower]] - a ween emailed her a link to the [[CWCki]]. But even if we were to put aside anything to do with the internet, there are still many, ''many'' embarrassing and undesirable things about Chris that will, in one way or the other, surface that would damage, if not outright destroy a budding relationship - to which this very list can attest.

'''10) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a children's book to try to get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role of the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his Ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Back in the day, even if a girl did express interest, Chris would've been too shy to even talk back to her. He's a little more confident today, but it's hardly done wonders for his chances of scoring - instead, he'll turn her off with a cheesy, ham-fisted attempt at a pickup line that just makes him look incredibly creepy and out-of-touch. If there was such a girl who could and would overcome these barriers, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. In his entire life, he has barely had any friends, and the few "friends" he had were either hired by his parents to babysit their autistic son because they didn't know how to or were trolls from the very beginning, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his habit of holding back on anything that requires effort and no immediate reward (like moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, etc.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

'''11) Chris has nothing going for him.''' Putting aside all his flaws listed above, what a potential sweetheart really wants from a man is a responsible adult who has something going for him. For starters, Chris only managed to get an [[CADD|Associate]], which he never put to use and has become obsolete years ago, choosing to waste away his prime at home rather than study or work. Chris's only selling point is his art, but even that leaves a lot to be desired. To begin with, his artistic skills are still on the level of a elementary schooler, despite drawing art for most of his life so far. His works, rather than having original ideas, are mostly self-inserts and blatant rip-offs of existing IPs. Additionally, the content of his art, while appealing to Trolls and Weens, is oblique at best and disturbing at worst to normal people. Past potential sweethearts were so repulsed by his drawings that they cut off contact with Chris. In his entire life so far, Chris has never made any serious effort to improve his situation. Simply put, Chris is economically unattractive for a potential sweetheart, lacking significant income and having achieved nothing noteworthy other than becoming the most documented person in history.

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: in addition to all the reasons listed above, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]]. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest call]] was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by some, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart enormously low: nobody wants to date a literal motherfucker. While there's now [[Flutter|another potential contender for this role]], it seems less and less likely that she will actually take up the mantle.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
* [[List of Love Quest candidates]]
* [[Boyfriend-free girl]]
* [[Gal pal]]
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
* [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Noviophobia]]
* [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan

2024-04-27T21:07:26Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

'''AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan''' is a series of YouTube videos in which various songs of different languages are "sung" by an AI Classic Chris voice, and then by current Chris. The videos' description refers to them collectively as a "Neo [[SingStar Challenge]]" and a "Worldwide Musical Journey." While Chris's vocal performances so far arguably rank among his most competent, [[Chris and music#Singing|that's not to say they're good.]] So far, it seems that AI Chris has the upper hand, despite Chris's best efforts. Only time will tell if Chris can make a comeback (probably not).

==All Over The World==

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan All Over The World
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jWPOlTESakc}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[CWC Art Contest#Semifinals|CWC Art Contest - Semifinals]]
| next = [[AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan#AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Grund Zum Feiern|AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Grund Zum Feiern]]
}}
===Description===
{{quotebox|
The first video in a series of a considerable "Neo Singstar Challenge". Continue in peace, elsewhere, Liquid Chris Sonichu, or should I mention your brother, Ian Brandon Anderson.

I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in Duolingo. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this Worldwide Musical Journey.

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

Featured Song: All Over the World by Electric Light Orchestra 
[''Link to official music video'']
}}

===Highlights===
{{Collapsible|Highlights|
*'''04:10''' A previously black background changes to video of Chris still obscured by the still images of young Chris Chan and modern day Chris Chan.

He proceeds to sing and mime airdrums for the second playing of the song, which has no AI Chris singing.}}

==Grund Zum Feiern==

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Grund Zum Feiern
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_1KUHRVy4Bw}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan All Over The World]]
| next = [[ Art Contest Top 5]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|
A Bonus video in a series of a considerable "Neo Singstar Challenge".

I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in Duolingo. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this Worldwide Musical Journey.

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

And a very honorable mention to AynWye for introducing me to this song in the TF2 Analysis Anarchy Series. 
[''Link to TF2 Analysis video'']

Featured Song: Grund Zum Feiern by Otto. 
[''Link to official music video'']
}}

===Highlights===
{{Collapsible|Highlights|
'''01:34:''' For Chris' rendition he is audibly sped up and only comes out of the listener's left headphone.}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2024]]

==Bloom==

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan Bloom
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MIkDMJspEC4}}
| stardate = 16 [[March 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Over the Shoulder Highlights]]
| next = [[Telling It To All of You, and the Hasbro Executives and Staff]]
}}
===Description===
{{quotebox|
I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in [[Duolingo]]. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this [[Chris and music|Worldwide Musical Journey]].

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

Featured Song: Bloom by Necry Talkie 
[''Link to official music video'']
}}

==Yo-Ya==

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Yo Ya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|__kaQTTnphA}}
| stardate = 24 [[March 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Telling It To All of You, and the Hasbro Executives and Staff]]
| next = [[March 2024 livestreams#Christ Chan Live Stream: Over the Shoulder Colouring and Drawing 2 (accidental streams)|Accidental livestreams]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|
I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in Duolingo. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this Worldwide Musical Journey.

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

Featured Song: Yo-Ya by Kaveret 
[''Link to official music video'']
}}

==Silakka Apajalla==

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Silakka Apajalla
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nEu4dicIG6g}}
| stardate = 5 [[April 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| previous = [[March 2024 livestreams#Christ Chan Live Stream: Over the Shoulder Colouring and Drawing 2 (accidental streams)|Accidental livestreams]]
| next = [[AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Pray High Valyrian]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in Duolingo. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this Worldwide Musical Journey.

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

Featured Song: Silakka Apajalla by Veikko Lavi 
[''Link to official music video'']}}

==Pray (High Valyrian)==

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Pray High Valyrian
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vV-COV9Tn6M}}
| stardate = 13 [[April 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Silakka Apajalla]]
| next = [[Harvesting Process, Gravel at the Sonichu Temple]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in Duolingo. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this Worldwide Musical Journey.

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

Featured Song: Pray (High Valyrian) from Game of Thrones 
[''Link to official music video'']}}

==Christ Chan - Sakkijarven Polkka mp4==
This video in particular is notable for being both the second song in Finnish Chris has sung and for not including the AI version of the song. The lazy title and the added note in the description, as well as the fact that the song [[March 2024 livestreams#Christ Chan Live Stream: Over the Shoulder Colouring and Drawing 2 (accidental streams)|Chris has sung]] back in [[March 2024]] still hadn't been released suggest that it was a prerecorded video put up on the channel to maintain a consistent upload schedule.
===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christ Chan - Sakkijarven Polkka mp4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YxqzPAtC-V8}}
| stardate = 26 [[April 2024]]
| subject = {{Music}} Music
| saga = {{Revelations|text}}, {{Praetor|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Harvesting Process, Gravel at the Sonichu Temple]]
| next =
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|**I have attempted to have the AI Chris Chan voice sing this song, but apparently, this song is too [[Stress|difficult for the AI]]. So, this one is a Solo track; enjoy.

I have utilized AI with a fine version of my past voice in this comparison of I, Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime, versus the AI-Generated voice. This series will cover the at least forty learnable languages in Duolingo. And credit to the original songs and respective artists along the way in this Worldwide Musical Journey.

Visit the Etsy Store for often updated items we have for sale as well. 
[''Link to [[OfficialCWCmart]]'']

Featured Song: Sakkijarven Polkka by Eemeli 
[''Link to official music video'']}}

{{Music Videos}}

Jail Saga

2022-04-01T04:49:36Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: I think this was a typo, iirc from a kf thread I read.

:''This article primarily covers what is known regarding the Jail Saga. For answers to frequently asked questions regarding Chris's sentence in jail, go [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jail-state-hospital-court-faq.113466/ here].''
{{Ongoing}}

[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's mugshot for his [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge, Henrico County Sheriff's Office.<ref name=sun/> Note how Chris almost looks ''content'' after being arrested for incest, compared to [[:File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|his despondent mugshot]] [[26 December 2014|taken the same day that he maced a dude]].]]

Following allegations in late [[July 2021|July]] and the eventual confirmation that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] had committed [[Affair with Mother|incest with]] [[Barb]], hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] the following day (essentially a temporary week-long restraining order). Chris was made temporarily homeless, and stayed at the Regency Inn Richmond for the meantime. Chris was '''arrested on 1 [[August 2021]]''', outside of the Inn. The arrest was captured live on stream by [[Orbiter Wave#Ethan Ralph|several onlookers]]. Surprisingly, given Chris's past history with [[Chris and the law|the law]], he made no attempt to resist arrest, and was cooperative with police.

Chris is in jail, not prison. Chris will only go to prison if he is convicted of a felony, and he is only facing misdemeanor charges (so far). Since 2 August 2021, Chris has been an inmate at Central Virginia Regional Jail and is awaiting trial for the charge of incest as well as pending charges yet to be identified.<ref name="press release"/> He was arraigned on 5 August 2021 and is being held without bond. Hearings in [[November 2021]] and [[February 2022]] resulted in continuances; his next court date is 28 [[July 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate2>{{Cite farms|thread=112013|title=2/3/22 - Hearing speculation thread}}</ref>

Since his arrest, Chris's only contact to the outside world has been through [[Jail Communications|written correspondence and phone calls]], which began in August 2021 and continued through February 2022. On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred from the Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[[:File:Transfer.jpg]]</ref> It is believed that he is now a patient in the Western State Hospital, a mental institution, as he awaits his next hearing.

==Background==
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}

[[File:EscapeIntoMadness.jpg|thumb|right|200px|''Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage: Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage. If I have freedom in my love, And in my soul am free, Angels alone, that soar above, Enjoy such liberty.'']]

It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest - sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration.<ref name=kvia>[https://kvia.com/news/us-world/2021/08/10/transgender-autistic-internet-personality-chris-chan-held-without-bond-in-mens-jail-on-incest-charge-involving-senile-mom/ Transgender, autistic internet personality Chris Chan held without bond in men's jail on incest charge involving senile mom]</ref> Despite rumors, Chris hasn't been charged for rape, and whether or not Chris's affairs were entirely consensual remains unknown.

In the early morning of 28 July 2021, Chris discussed having sex with his mother in a call and text messages with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. On the night of 29 July, the [[Suitress]] leaked the files. The next morning, as reports poured in, Greene County Police visited [[14 Branchland Court]] for a [[Welfare check|wellness check]].<ref name=sun/> They issued Chris an Emergency Protective Order, forbidding contact between him and Barbara, and by extension, preventing him from remaining at her residence until 5 August. Meanwhile, Barbara was relocated to a hospital for a senior care inspection.<ref name=removed>{{Cite farms
| thread = 96559
| title = Chris-Chan incest leak / Chris has been removed from 14 Branchland Court
| wayback = 20211006023749
}}</ref>

As a result of the protection order levied against Chris, he was without a home for the time being. Due to [[Financhu Crisis|ongoing financial problems]], Chris could not afford a hotel. [[Null]] advised him to sleep in [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|his van]] for one night, noting that Chris would have have the proceeds of Chris's GoFundMe (originally intended for Chris's trip to [[Everfree Northwest]]) transferred to his bank account the following day. Initial plans to stay with [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]] were disrupted after their invitation was rescinded - likely while he was already on the way to their home.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>{{refn|
Chris told Null that after spending the night in his car, he would go to a mall as soon as it opened in the morning and loiter there.<ref name=NullTexts/> The two malls he mentioned, [[Leonard Bearstein|Regency Mall]] and Chesterfield Towne Center, are in [[Richmond]].<ref>{{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)}} and {{w|Chesterfield Towne Center}} on Wikipedia</ref> This suggests that [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], who live in Richmond's southwest suburbs,<ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800|Chris leaks the Ashbys' address to Miyamoto-san]]</ref> did not rescind their invitation until he had actually gotten near their home.}}

On 30th of July, Everfree Northwest posted that "appropriate action to protect the vulnerable" will be taken; while not naming Chris, it is suspected that that this tweet refers to the revocation of Chris's invitation to the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> which Null subsequently confirmed. Due to the disturbing and lurid nature of the allegations, hashtags and topics such as #ChrisChan and #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT trended on Twitter, reaching 4th overall trend on July 30th,<ref>[https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-chris-chan-sonichu-comic-creator-leaves-twitter-scandalized-latest-trend Who is Chris Chan? Sonichu comic creator leaves Twitter scandalized with latest trend]</ref> exposing a large number of otherwise uninvolved individuals to the story of Chris-Chan causing the [[Orbiter Wave]].

On 31 July, Null, who had access to Chris's email (with Chris's permission) since the [[Guard Dogs]] Saga,<ref name="marvinqna">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-chris-chan-extortionists.45366/post-3553571 Marvin answers questions regarding OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/operation-kingsnake.44345/ OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref> found that Chris had received $750.00 from Barb's bank account, meaning he had either contacted Barb or gained access to Barb's bank account himself, either of which would violate the emergency protection order. When confronted, Chris initially denied the accusation, claiming he had "managed to find blessings in the minimum abundance needed." However, upon further questioning Chris about the money, he confirmed that he had had access to Barb's account for some time, contrary to Null's previous assumption that Barb had been in control of Chris's finances and not vice versa. Upset by Chris embezzling from his mother and lying to cover it up, Null finally cut all contact with him, reported the theft to authorities, and canceled the transfer of the GoFundMe money, arranging for it to be refunded to the donors.<ref name=NullTexts>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref>

==Arrest==
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|Chris, while being arrested.<ref name=video>[[#Video|Video of Chris's arrest filmed by Killstream crew]]</ref>}}
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]
On the evening of 31 July, Reddit user ''[[Chrisisaman]]'' located [[Son-chu]] at the Regency Inn in [[Richmond]], confirming that Chris was in the city and that he would be spending time in a motel.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801045236/https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ovlys1/location_confirmed_10_minutes_ago/ Archived Reddit post confirming Chris's location]</ref> The next day, [[Post-Merge Era|a number of people]] attempted to observe or contact Chris there. Observers noticed police cars stationed at the motel, but because the place was known to have a seedy reputation, it was not obvious if they were there for Chris or for some other reason. These cop cars eventually left without arresting Chris.

The most significant of the observers was YouTuber [[Ethan Ralph]] who livestreamed himself and his friends [[Ween|driving to the motel to meet Chris]]. The group [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|ordered a pizza]] in the hopes of luring him out, but this was unsuccessful - Chris was apparently too busy messaging [[The WCT]].{{refn|The time Ralph was knocking on Chris's door - about 3:01 PM<ref name=snippet/> - is almost exactly the same as the timestamps on Chris's final messages to The WCT - 3:10 PM.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Chris's final messages]]</ref>}} They then went about knocking on every door on the second floor (Chris had previously been filmed walking along the second floor balcony, suggesting that was where he was staying), but this was fruitless as well, and only led to the menagerie being ordered to leave by a [[Jerkop|motel employee]].<ref name=snippet>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-1-21-ethan-ralph-tries-to-drag-chris-chan-to-his-house.96772/post-9596798 Archived stream snippet]</ref>

Not giving up, the group went to the {{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall}} (of [[Christopher's name change#Leonard Bearstein|'the bear']] fame) across the street, following (incorrect) speculation that Chris might be there since he was not in his room. While livestreaming at the mall they had an encounter with a police officer, who would happen to be one of the officers who arrested Chris a few hours later (as Ethan acknowledges during the arrest).

Later that afternoon, Ralph was tipped off that four police cars had shown up at the motel. At around 6:00 PM, he got back just in time to film two Henrico County police officers perp-walking Chris down from his room, streaming the whole debacle for a live audience of over 3,000 viewers. While the police talked to Chris, Ralph sporadically yelled questions and comments, to which Chris occasionally responded.

Unlike Chris's previous run-ins with the law, he remained mostly calm and compliant during the arrest (possibly due to [[The WCT]] having [[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout|advised him the previous day]] to co-operate with the police in the event of his being arrested), though he rambled about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to both the police and Ralph's crew, promising that the Merge was in fact happening right at that moment. The police then loaded Chris into a squad car and left without answering Ralph's questions.<ref name=video/> An additional POV shot filmed by an anonymous onlooker showed Chris climbing directly into the cop car - the last footage of Chris to date.

===Video===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris-Chan Arrested
| ytid = i2ELbb6svD4
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Chris and stress|My Baby Blue Arms]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|[[Autism|Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down]]}}
| stardate = 1st [[August 2021]]
| saga = {{Incest|text}} {{Post-Merge|text}} {{Prison|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible|state=mw-collapsed|Transcript|

''[Video begins with a shot of a neighboring car. A woman gets out of it with her phone. The song "Save Your Tears" by the Weeknd plays in background.]''

'''Girl''': Oh my god!

'''Ralph''': They're arresting her!

''[Ralph gets out of the car and walks toward the fence. The woman from earlier is now kneeling with her phone pointing at the motel. Ralph walks past her.]''

'''Ralph''': Sorry.

''[Camera zooms in on the motel, focusing on the second floor, where the police officers are walking Chris]''

'''Girl in background''': Oh my god!

'''Ralph''': Yeah, they're arresting Chris-Chan here at the hotel.

'''Chris''' (yelling): (unclear due to chatter) ...For the internet, do not record this!

'''Ralph''' (yelling): Chris-Chan, what's up! Killstream, baby! When you get out, let's do the Killstream! Look me up!

'''Guy in background''': Let the charges drop! It's all about [[Null|Joshua Conner Moon]]!

'''Ralph''': Tell 'em all about Josh Moon, that's who they want!

''[Bystanders start yelling]''

'''Girl in background''': Give it up, Chris-Chan!

'''Guy in background''': Give him up... save yourself, girl!

'''Another guy in background''': Magi-Chan will help you!

'''Guy in background''': You're beautiful!

'''Ralph''': Look up Ethan Ralph, Killstream! I live here in Richmond, buddy!

'''Girl in background''': Go to church!

'''Ralph''': No, come to... come to the Killstream first!

''[As the cops walk Chris down the stairs, there is more yelling]''

'''Person below''': ETHAN I BOUGHT YOUR STICKER!

'''Ralph''': YEEEAH! What kind of shit is this? Holy shit! Oh my god, thank you!

''[The cops are now walking Chris past the motel entrance]''

'''Guy in background''': Got a (indistinct) here!

'''Girl in background''': Christian Weston Chandler, right here being...

''[Camera turns past a nearby building as Ralph runs toward the motel parking lot]''

'''Ralph''': Oh, shit, oh! You better hurry Jesse, you're missing out! [

''[The camera now zooms in on Chris and three police officers, now standing outside a police car]''

'''Police officer''':...oh no, (indistinct) transport in the front...

''[One of the officers says something to Chris that cannot be heard, presumably asking for his name]''

'''Chris''': ...Chris-Chan, or Sonichu, as they know...

''[Camera freezes for a couple seconds]''

'''Girl in background''':...Chris. (indistinct) Bring 'em...

''[A fourth officer gets out of one of the police cars]''

'''Ralph''': Hey, officers, how's it going?

'''Police officer''': How you doing? I just saw you.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, that's right! That's you, oh my god!

'''Person in background''': Sorry about that, guys.

'''Ralph''': I told you!

'''Chris''': I'm going, I'm complying...

'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?

'''Chris''': I'm complying, I am good like this!

'''Guy in background''': (To Chris) You are, you absolutely are!

'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?

'''Ralph''': (To Girl) Yeah, I think so.

'''Ralph''': (To Chris) Yeah, you appear to be complying.

'''Chris''': I am Chris-Chan Sonichu, your [[CPU Blue Heart|Goddess Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus and Rosechus]] and everybody.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, you're live to about 3,000 people right now, Christian!

'''Guy in background''': How do you plead?

'''Ralph''': Well don't...you're taking everything in stride, you said you're doing good?

'''Chris''' : Yeah. I keep a good faith everything is going to work out.

'''Ralph''': Doing good, feeling good?

'''Chris''' : Yep.

'''Ralph''': How's the last few days been? I know it's been pretty [[Stress|stressful]].

'''Chris''' : Bit stressful, but... I've taken it one moment at a time and...I've got my...I've got my loves.

'''Ralph''': Well that's good.

'''Guy in background''': Do you, like, Josh Moon, like, did you dirty?

''[An officer begins frisking Chris, and apparently finds something on his waistband]''

'''Chris''': (To officer) Oh, well, that's just the one thing, that's a pin. Feel free, just go ahead and take it out, it's a picture of Muffins from ''[[My Little Pony]]''.

'''Guy in background''': Your [[Love Quest]] is over, Chris!

'''Chris''': (To officer) I promise like...I was not (indistinct) to fall... it fell off my bag, I did not want to lose it. And please, I would like that in my collection. (indistinct)

'''Jesse''': Hey, Ethan!

'''Ralph''': What's up, Jesse?

'''Jesse''': How you doing?

'''Ralph''': Boy we almost missed it, huh?

''[Ralph and Jesse laugh]''

'''Jesse''': I was wandering around the mall.

''[The officer starts searching Chris's left side]''

'''Chris''': Well, heh. He's not offering me any options there...

'''Officer''': I'm just letting you know I'm... (indistinct)

'''Girl in background''': I literally ran out to get that (chuckles). This is nuts.

''[Someone makes a noise in the background]''

'''Jesse''': Christine, this man does want to help you.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, we were trying to get you on the show, but...look, when you get out, look me up, Killstream. I don't know if you know who I am or not.

'''Girl in background''': We're here to help you!

''[Indistinct yelling in background]''

'''Ralph''': We saw what Josh was doing to you, so we wanted to come try to talk to you.

''[The cop finishes his search]''

'''Police officer''': (To Chris) Do you have anything else on you?

'''Chris''': I have nothing else on me.

''[The police officer says something to Chris]''

'''Chris''': I understand. I have no weed, I have no drugs on (indistinct)... like I said, frisk me, there you go! (chuckles)

'''Ralph''': (Chuckles)

'''Chris''': [[Homos|That felt good]]!

'''Ralph''': (Laughs loudly)

'''Chris''': Thank you.

'''Police officer''': Alright, let's have a seat.

'''Jesse''': Christine, is the merge coming?

'''Ralph''': Aight...

'''Chris''': It's happening now, we're on the very last thread!

'''Ralph''': (talking over Chris) The Merge, it's happening right now, isn't it?

'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now, it is.

'''Chris''': We're living it!

''[Chris turns to the officers.]''

'''Chris''': (indistinct) ...Batman into a hero.

''[Chris sits down as one of the officers points into the back of the police car]''

'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now.

'''Guy in background''': Merge the dimensions, Chris!

'''Ralph''': Farewell, Chris Chan!

'''Girl in background''': (indistinct) The Dimensional Merge is happening right now, August 1, 2021.

''[Chris disappears into the back of the police car]''

[''End of relevant footage'']

}}

==Initial jail stay==
[[File:Henrico County Jail West.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Henrico County Jail West]]
[[File:Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Central Virginia Regional Jail]]
At 8:23 PM later that day, Chris was booked into Henrico County Jail West and held without bail.<ref name=charged/><ref name=sun>{{Cite web
| url = https://www.the-sun.com/news/3394847/chris-chan-sonichu-arrested-incest/
| autoarchive = 20210804202308
| title = Chris Chan arrested for ‘incest’ after claims Sonichu comic book creator sexually assaulted family member
| website = The Sun
}}</ref> On 2 August 2021, the Charlottesville CBS affiliate, CBS 19, reported on the case, following the release of a press release from the Greene County Sheriff's Department indicating that Chris had been moved to [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which serves several rural counties including Greene County.<ref name="press release">Press release on [https://www.cbs19news.com/story/44432363/suspect-arrested-in-sex-crimes-against-family-member-case CBS], [https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Facebook]</ref>

Calls to the Sheriff's Office confirmed that Chris was being held on a charge of incest. Notably, the charge against Chris is listed on the Henrico Sheriff's Office website as "incest with own child or grandchild",<ref name=charged>[[:File:Charged.png]]</ref> presumably because "incest with own parent" charges are too uncommon to warrant an option for them in the software.<ref>{{Cite farms
|thread = 96776
|post = 9613612
|title = Chris - The Legal Issues - A Prosecutor's Perspective
|user = TherapyMan
|wayback = 20210804182815
}}</ref>

The record for Chris's custody status initially labelled him as female<ref>[[:File:Chris custody status female gender.png]]</ref> due to him having legally changed the gender marker on his driver's license in 2016.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> It was claimed by sensationalist media that Chris would be housed in a female jail,<ref>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9859653/Trans-YouTuber-Chris-Chan-39-filed-female-police-housed-women-inmates.html</ref><ref name=tucker>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9PW_XVGWHw Tucker Carlson discusses Chris-Chan]</ref> though this was not confirmed by official sources. The custody status record was updated to list Chris as male without explanation and he was placed in a corresponding facility.<ref name=InsiderGender>[https://www.insider.com/chris-chan-arrest-jail-transgender-trans-woman-men-male-incest-2021-8 After her arrest on an incest charge, Chris Chan is being categorized as male in jail despite being a trans woman]</ref> It is noted that transgender inmates in Virginia are usually only placed in the prison of their identified gender if they have received sex-change surgery,<ref>[https://richmond.com/news/virginia/transgender-prison-inmates-5-to-6-times-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-sexual-assault/article_79c231fd-4d27-5a38-bc48-500301794348.html Transgender prison inmates 5 to 6 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault in U.S., study says]</ref> which Chris has not. On 7 August 2021, conservative media host {{w|Tucker Carlson}} briefly talked about the discourse in a [[wikipedia:Fox News|Fox News]] segment, exposing millions of retired, right-wing boomers to Chris for the first time.<ref name=tucker></ref>

Many observers predicted Chris would not take to an extended jail stay well. However, on August 5, the jail's Captain Hoffman told news, "I've had an interaction with inmate Chandler and it's been fine. Everything is okay."<ref name=InsiderGender/> This surprising revelation could be explained by a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|letter]] Chris sent from jail in early November, which strongly implies that he has been placed in some form of protective custody to ensure his safety. A [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|previous letter]] he sent in early October confirms that he is being fed well and that he has been able to purchase minor luxuries from the jail's commissary including playing cards, earplugs and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]].

==Legal proceedings and communications==
The case is being handled by the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court.<ref name=ContinuanceDate>{{Cite farms|thread=105669|title=11/18/2021 - Court case continued into the new year}}</ref> Due to the sensitive nature of the court's cases, it is unknown what details will be publicly available.

=== First court appearance ===
[[File:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris's long-suffering lawyer, David Heilberg.]]
On 5 August 2021, Chris appeared before the court for the beginning of his arraignment, represented by Charlottesville public defender David Heilberg.<ref name=initial_trial/>

The attorney representing [[Greene County]] asked presiding judge David M. Barredo to deny Chris bond out of concern for "the community's safety and Ms. Chandler's safety." Chris reportedly interrupted the proceedings multiple times. He was chided by his attorney for shouting "[[Chris and his ego|I'm famous on the internet]]." He was sworn in to state his case for bond, but wasted his opportunity to speak by demanding to be allowed to pick up personal possessions first.<ref name=initial_trial>[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Internet personality "Chris-Chan" in court on incest charge] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref>

Judge Barredo ordered Chris to be held without bond until the preliminary trial on 16 September, believing Chris posed a danger to both [[Barbara Chandler|society]] and himself. While Heilberg was informing the judge that he sought "[[Autism papers|evaluations]]" of Chris, Chris ''interrupted his own attorney'' by loudly stomping on the floor and demanding "[[List of toys|to get everything back home,]]” claiming "I won’t feel safe proceeding" until he could get the items back.<ref name=initial_trial/>

Judging by Chris's behavior, it can be inferred that Chris either did not fully understand or [[Chris and remorse|care about]] the seriousness of his charges and the possible [[Chris and negotiation|consequences]], or that he still expected to be saved by the [[Dimensional Merge]].

=== Continuance and letter from jail ===
{{Main|Jail Letter - 19 September 2021}}
[[File:Nullletter1.jpg|thumb|200px|The first page of Chris's letter.]]
Chris's next court appearance was to begin 16 [[September 2021]],<ref name=initial_trial/> but got a continuance before the hearing was even set to commence{{refn|The hearing was scheduled for 10:00 AM;<ref name=initial_trial/> news of the continuance broke at 8:31 AM.<ref name=time>{{Cite farms
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315
| post = 9988888
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance
| autoarchive = 20211022184458
}}</ref>}} due to the defense requesting more time to evaluate Chris's [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]], giving him a brief respite.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>{{Cite farms
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315
| post = 9990379
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance
| autoarchive = 20211022184106
}}</ref>

However, Chris, as always, managed to screw himself over where others failed. Three days later, Chris penned [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|a bizarre letter]] directed to [[Null]] and defense lawyer David Heilberg, in which he defended [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]], ranted at Null for turning his back on Chris, and claimed to be [[Jesus Christ]] reincarnated, among other equally batshit statements.<ref name=letter/>

Chris evidently [[Honest content|never listened when he was given the right to remain silent]]. Before this point, while the prosecution had [[Incest Call|audio]] and screenshotted DMs of him confessing to the act, information collected from internet forums or leaked text messages can be unreliable in court.<ref>[https://www.mccarthyfingar.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/20120526100635-bar-journal-25-34.pdf A Primer and Problems in Admitting Electronic Records in Evidence at Trial and in Support of Motions for Summary Judgment]</ref> Chris's lawyer could have made the argument that he was coerced into saying those things ([[Chris apologizes to Gwen|which has happened before]]), or even argued that Chris's accounts were taken over by trolls, [[PS3|as they often are]]. These things could have gotten a potential jury to view Chris in a more favourable light and could also have secured Chris a lighter sentence, or even an innocent verdict if he could convince the court that he had [[Reality| simply imagined the whole thing.]]

With this open letter, however, Chris has shot both himself and his attorney in the foot. Any plans by Heilberg to make the trial an issue of mental health{{refn|After Chris's first court showing, Heilberg framed the case in these terms, telling media sources that his client was "legally disabled with mental health issues," and called Chris's online antics "a product of mental health issues causing misguided attention seeking and often provocative engagement with others."<ref name=MentalHealth>{{Cite web
| url = https://www.newsweek.com/chris-chans-lawyer-says-mental-health-issues-contributed-incest-charge-1617388
| title = Chris Chan's Lawyer Says 'Mental Health Issues' Contributed to Incest Charge
| last = Beresford
| first = Jack
| website = Newsweek
}}</ref>}} are going to be much more difficult now. In order for the insanity defense to be utilized, Heilberg would have had to make a convincing argument that Chris did not possess the criminal intent required for legal guilt due to his mental illness worsened by years of trolling clouding his judgement.<ref>[https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/insanity-plea Legal requirements for an Insanity Defense]</ref> Already difficult to pull off, Chris had gone ahead and made it near impossible by BOTH admitting to the crime and demonstrating that he was cognizant of his actions in writing.

=== More communications from jail ===
{{See also|Jail Communications}}
In [[:Category:Jail Letters|additional correspondences from jail]], Chris provides brief updates on his current experiences and conditions in jail. He would also continue to double down on [[Chris and reality|his delusions]], threaten the weens to not steal things from his house, beg for money for both himself and Barbara, and demand his release from jail. In [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|one of these letters]] Chris rejects a fan's attempt to convert him to Islam. As with his previous replies, he draws comparisons between himself and Allah, and rants more about the [[Dimensional Merge]].

Chris has also called several people while in jail using the inmate telephone service, although, what Chris says in these calls is not much different from what can be found inside the letters. However, [[Jail Call - 11 January 2022|in one of the calls]], Chris states that he has attempted to call Barbara multiple times, only to receive no answer from her.

=== Second court appearance ===

Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18th of [[November 2021|November]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Several fans attempted to attend this hearing, but were turned away by courthouse staff,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/qwr53j/tried_going_to_the_hearing_but_was_turned_away_by/</ref> as the hearing was closed at the request of Chris's lawyer.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref>

Another continuance was granted, with the next hearing taking place after the new year, on 3 [[February 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Chris spent the Thanksgiving, [[Christmas]], and New Years holidays behind bars.

=== Third court appearance ===
The February 3 hearing was also closed to the public and resulted in another continuance. As a result, Chris spent his 40th [[Christian Love Day|birthday]] incarcerated, and will also miss out on [[BABSCon]] in April provided the ongoing [[COVID-19|pandemic]] doesn't delay the convention a third time. His next court date is scheduled for 28 [[July 2022]], four days short of the one-year anniversary of his arrest.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11138163}}</ref>

=== Transfer ===
{{Apocrypha}}
[[File:Transfer.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Email from VINE confirming the transfer.]]

On 28 February 2022, the Virginia VINE Service confirmed that Chris had been transferred to another location from Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[https://vinelink.vineapps.com/person-detail/offender/17312020;tabIndexToSelect=0 VINELink page]</ref><ref>{{Cite farms
|thread = 113715
|post = 11292959
|title = Chris transferred to another facility
|user = Turbocuck
|wayback = 20220302065944
}}</ref> Details regarding the circumstances that led to this, or where he has been transferred to are not known, but it's likely that Chris was sent to some form of hospital.<ref group = "note">VINELink can't track him anymore, so wherever he's been transferred to isn't jail. The courts are required by law to say if Chris was transferred to a prison. The transfer status would be "Released" if Chris was sent back to his house. When called, CVRJ says the information is "Privileged" which usually means medical.</ref> This could be due to a competency evaluation following his third hearing, or as a consequence of [[Chris and anger|a violent outburst or other such altercation]] with staff or inmates. While less likely, it is also very possible Chris was transferred to receive medical attention for a physical ailment, given [[Chris and health|his lifetime of poor diet, fitness, and hygiene choices]] combined with the [[Stress|stress]] of being incarcerated for seven months, primarily in complete isolation.

Someone claiming to work for an EMS later private messaged the CWCki Jerkop [[User:Larry the Larryhog|Larry the Larryhog]] about Chris's record.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-31#post-11335917 Kiwi Farms post regarding Chris's record]</ref> They claimed that Chris was transferred via ambulance with a law enforcement escort and that Chris was able to receive narcotic sedative when needed (though the claims are yet to be verified). A Kiwi Farms member claimed that Chris may have been brought to Western State Hospital,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-15#post-11307353 Kiwi Farms post claiming that Chris was transferred to the Western State Hospital]</ref> which specializes in mental disorders, also an unverified claim.

=== Looking forward ===
[[File:Inmate No Longer Here.jpg|thumb|left|A letter to Chris's jail being rejected due to him being transferred.]]

The maximum jail sentence for a misdemeanor incest charge in Virginia is one year, meaning that if Chris's charges are not upgraded to felony status he should be released no later than 1 [[August 2022]], even if the case is for some reason continued beyond that date. If his charges are upgraded to a felony, he could be facing a [[Kick the autistic|much longer sentence]] (the maximum sentence for felony incest is 10 years, and the maximum sentence for rape is life), in addition to being placed on the [[List_of_places_that_have_banned_Chris#Looking_ahead|sex offender registry]] for a minimum of fifteen years when he gets out; or if he ever does, for that matter. If Chris is charged with a felony, his subsequent legal proceedings must be open to the public, no doubt much to the delight of [[weens]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]].

Many observers suspect that Chris' lawyer is trying to get him to take up a plea deal with a year of time served, although Chris himself seems convinced [[Chris and his ego|that he will be found not guilty]], [[Honor Roll|despite effectively confessing to the act of incest multiple times]] in both [[Incest Call|the infamous phone call]] and multiple times since his arrest via [[Jail Communications|his written communications]]. As it stands, not pleading "guilty" will most likely result in Chris getting a harsher sentence in the event of a conviction.

If Chris is deemed incompetent to stand trial, as many suspect he has been after his third hearing in February 2022, he may be held against his will as long as he is still considered incompetent, even if he is not convicted of anything. In Virginia, time spent in a mental facility doesn't count as time served towards an eventual sentence, meaning that even in a best-case scenario, Chris will be spending more time behind bars than he would have had he not been transferred. With [[Chris and reality|Chris's mental health long since having crashed and burned]], and it being presently unclear if he can overcome his severe delusions, it remains to be seen if his trip to a mental hospital will be temporary, or if he will spend the rest of his days in the care of medical professionals.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu Saves Chris Chan from Prison to Fight Clyde Cash & Liquid Chris!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-BCDY1xWcUM}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2021]]
| maker = sheWIND
| subject = Chris in jail
| type = Animation
| info = "Christine Weston Chandler, aka Chris Chan, mayor of Cwcville, is rescued by the demential merge after going to jail for hurting Barb by Sonichu to have a final battle against some of his strongest trolls, Clyde Cash and Liquid Chris!!"
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = chris chan in prison
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Yq3D_ohKXw}}
| stardate = 3 [[January 2022]]
| maker = Antonio Prola
| subject = Chris in jail
| info = "......you know the how expression too many cooks spoil the broth? Well t- this was too many crooks! Too many CROOKS! TOO many CROOKS! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page. Every word. On the discussion page. Is a crook."

}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The end of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I9mcnK0-u0c}}
| stardate = 6 [[March 2022]]
| maker = rossthef0x
| subject = Chris in jail
| info = "Well, it was fun while it lasted..."

}}

==See also==
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[26 December 2014]]
*[[Post-Merge Era]]

{{Notes}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{PrisonSaga}}
{{Law}}

Fiona Cooper

2021-10-09T16:52:03Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: If you're under the radar, you're undetectable.

{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
{{Protip|Like with the [[Wallflower]], the true identity of this person will be concealed by the CWCki, even though it is an open secret. Any reference to her identity, which includes the usage of her screen names, will be edited out. The consequences that follow from this will vary. For more information, see [[CWCki:The Suitress|here]].}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = [redacted]
| image = AHiddenSuitress.jpg
|imagesize = 250
|aliases = The Suitress
|gender = Female
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|saga = [[Bella]]
}}
{{Quote|This legit sucks now. I regret everything about ever writing this. I never knew Chris was going to turn out this way back then.
I'm absolutely pissed and disgusted at him now. I'm fucking traumatized. Help me.|The Suitress's opinion of Chris after leaking the incest call.<ref>[https://imgur.com/a/kNCi1uP Source:vigyaa]</ref>}}
{{quote|I HATE CHRIS CHAN I HATE CHRIS CHAN this is how I currently feel now. What I written is outdated and will be up because that was who I was back then.|Another post from the Suitress after leaking the calls.}}

A young [[autism|autistic]]<ref name="SuitressAutism">[https://imgur.com/a/73WVmxd Snippet of an article describing the Suitress's autism diagnosis.]</ref> woman was actually interested in having Chris as a boyfriend. She was set to meet with Chris during the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention, but Chris at this point had found [[Incest| an alternative lover]].

She leaked the [[Incest|incest calls]], although at the cost of having herself exposed by Bella's frantic attempts to shift blame off herself.

For the sake of anonymity, and for her own good, said woman will be referred to as "'''The Suitress'''".

==Early Interactions with Chris==
[[File:Ymlunneforh71.png|thumb|200px|A selfie sent to the Suitress by Chris.]]
According to the Suitress, she first became aware of Chris through various Youtubers who would mention Chris time and time again. At that point, she claims that she began researching him out of curiosity, at first feeling disgusted at him. The Suitress would later form a more serious interest in Christory in the July of 2020, watching [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|Geno's documentary series]] with a friend, and reading articles from this wiki extensively. The Suitress would also claim that she would start having "feelings" towards Chris on the September of that year, which later started evolving into a full-on crush when she listened to the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|audio regarding Chris's date with Emily]] in November.<ref>[https://archive.ph/cV5W0 An archived vigyaa thread where the Suitress professes her growing attraction towards Chris.]</ref>

During that period, she would not long after become an active member in the CWCSphere, making fan art and posting regularly on Discords dedicated to him, along with moderating the Chris subreddit starting on the January of 2021. Back in 2020, at the start of her fascination of Chris and before forming her self-admitted crush, it is believed that the Suitress attempted to start talking to him, to the point of begging him to reply back.<ref>[[Red vs Blue Reaction Livestreams|In Chris' Red vs. Blue Reaction Livestreams, the Suitress tried to get Chris' attention.]]</ref>{{failed verification|explanation=It's believed that the Suitress attempted to talk to Chris in one of these, but which video it exactly is is unknown. It's probably at least after July 2020, but otherwise is unknown. If anyone can pinpoint where exactly this occurs, we can verify it.}} This was despite having been warned several times not to do so.

At some point, but believed to be as early as July of 2021, she was finally able to text Chris, using a pseudonym while talking to him, while also unwisely sharing other pieces of her personal information with him.<ref>[[The Suitress Texts]]</ref> On the 19th of the month, Chris then invited her into the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord server hosted by Sean, where Chris introduced her to Bella.<ref>[[Sean_Walker_Discord_DMs#Invitation|A DM between Chris and Sean where they talk about inviting the Suitress.]]</ref> She began to converse with Bella at that point, unaware of her true intentions. Meanwhile, as Chris had proposed the invite, he shared the personal information the Suitress gave to him to Sean, despite her not wanting Chris to share it with anyone else.

==Interactions with Bella==

The Suitress was seemingly one of the last people that Bella recruited into her Chess Club Discord Server.

The Suitress planned to meet Chris on a trip to the [[My Little Pony|brony]] convention [[Everfree Northwest]]. Bella, sexually attracted to the Suitress,<ref name="Bella Simps the Suitress>[https://imgur.com/a/jxkHNJ5 Bella simping over the Suitress]</ref> claimed in Discord leaks that she planned to "steal" her for herself.<ref name="PredatorBella">[https://imgur.com/a/FpGXmLz Bella planning to "steal" the Suitress.]</ref> Chris did not seem to show very much interest in the Suitress at this point, and a lot more interest for Bella. This made things more difficult for Bella, as when she tried to book a room for the both herself and the Suitress, Chris kept insisting that a room be booked for both him and her.{{cite}}

==The incest scandal==
{{Protip|Even though the Suitress leaked parts of the full incest call, she can hardly be considered a "hero". She had shown several [[Weening|weenish]]/attention-chasing tendencies before meeting Bella, is known to have acted uncooperative during that period, and in general was a frequent oversharer. Her true motivations for leaking the calls are not fully confirmed either. Whatever the case may be, she most certainly was NOT okay with the incest, either. She has admitted to finding incest of any sort depraved.<ref>[https://imgur.com/a/eqOBWF7 Discord posts where the Suitress admits to finding incest depraved.]</ref>}}

{{Main|Incest call#Suitress Leaks|Incest}}

When she became aware that Chris and Barb were having sex, through Bella sharing the incest calls in her Discord server, the Suitress initially believed that it was Barb who was grooming him throughout his life.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/1632847620780-png.2577507/ Reddit post where the Suitress expresses shock at the incest.]</ref> Disgusted at this possible revelation, she decided to leak an edited, 4-minute, version of these calls to the public, which cut out huge chunks of the original call, only leaving in Chris's voice, and editing out the identities of both her and Bella.

It eventually crossed her mind that Chris was actually grooming Barb. A friend of the Suitress would later post a longer 9-minute version of the call.

Bella already made it abundantly clear to her that she was not allowed to leak any calls she made to Chris, and was utterly pissed at the Suitress when she found out. She then lied to the Suitress by telling her that she already sent the incest calls to the police, and faked a 911 call. This was done so that the Suitress couldn't get any authorities involved.<ref name="Fake 911 Call">[https://imgur.com/a/zx9IImA/ Fake 911 Call]</ref> What would then follow was a failed disinformation campaign by Bella directed towards the Suitress, in order to throw observers and Christorians off, and to avoid being discovered herself.

==The blame game==

In order to being discovered, Bella decided to shift all blame and potential consequences for the situation on the Suitress. Alongside Sean Walker,<ref name="WCTThread>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sean-walker-psychic-espeon-wct-wildcat-neko.97689 Sean Walker / @Psychic Espeon / Lainchu / WCT / WildCat / Neko (etc.) - Self-described "Final Protagonist of Christory", spree-killer fanboy, connected to Bellagate]</ref> Bella set her sights on one particular method. Using the information that Chris sent to Sean, and the fact that Bella had previously followed one of the Suitress's accounts rather extensively herself, they were able to drop her real name and her photo on multiple websites as a means of doxxing her.

GiBi, a YouTuber specializing in Chris-centric content, was [[Carpetbaggers|desperate to showcase the events of the scandal as soon as possible on his YouTube channel]], even if it meant collecting information from questionable sources such as Bella. Immediately accepting Bella's story that the entire scandal was the fault of the Suitress, GiBi went as far as to leak the Suitress's phone number in one of his videos for thousands to see. After being criticized for doxxing someone with no evidence of their guilt, GiBi took the video down three hours later.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/20210803_042740-jpg.2406648/ Timestamp between uploads.]</ref> He claimed that the reason the phone number was displayed was because the uploading of the video was held back by three hours, and to "allow the people discussed" - presumably referring to Bella herself - in the video to see it, in order to make sure he hadn't doxxed the wrong person.<ref name="Gibi lies about an upload delay.">[https://imgur.com/NvhnXZ9/ Gibi on an upload delay.]</ref>

GiBi decided to upload the video a second time ''without removing the Suitress' phone number,'' spreading her personal information to even more people, but deleted that video after only two minutes for "presenting only one side". GiBi had also attempted to upload the video a third time, claiming that he would fix this mistake.<ref name="GiBi's third attempt.">[https://imgur.com/a/aMtqOHq GiBi's third upload attempt.]</ref>
However, this whole charade didn't do much other than inflict unnecessary psychological harm onto the Suitress, as by that point, it had already been made abundantly clear to everyone who was paying attention that Bella was a compulsive liar and was not to be trusted.

==Conclusion==

After GiBi leaked her phone number, already carrying the weight of Chris fucking his mom, this making headlines, Bella and Sean dropping her personal information on other websites, and now a channel she once followed engaging in Bella's attempt to frame her, the Suitress got into a nervous breakdown, and was put into behavioral therapy the following day. According to posts she made on the various accounts she tried to use soon afterwards, she had later formed a complete disdain for him.

The Suitress's arc can be thought of as yet another cautionary tale as to why attempting to get in contact with Chris, regardless of the motive for doing so, can and will end in utter disaster. Even after all these years, even after making the same mistake with [[Megan|two other]] [[Wallflower|gal-pals]], Chris has still shown to be a frequent oversharer, and will not respect the privacy of others. Compounded with that, seeing as how Chris is already on the radar of so many people, it logically follows that getting any form association with him will land you on that same radar as well.

Before finding out that Chris was having sex with his mother, the Suitress seemed to have a rather naive idea about Chris's character, seeing him as nothing more than a misunderstood retard with needs she could fulfill herself, part of the reason for her crush.

==See also==

*[[The Suitress Texts]]
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
*[[Incest]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

Talk:Anna McLerran

2021-09-04T03:37:24Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* What about now? */

==To do==
*<strike>Add photos of Anna</strike> Thought there's definitely a better pic out there.
*<strike>add pictures from that birthday party</strike> They're on the page. --[[User:Rafaal|Rafaal]] 20:57, 1 September 2009 (CEST)
*<strike>Add the Crazy Pacer story where she first meets Chris</strike>
*Piping quotes

==Anna's birthday==
Based on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/196.jpg this DVD image], Anna's b-day seems to be early August. Now we just need a day. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:12, 12 March 2009 (CET)

==Okay...==
I pulled a bunch of information on her and dumped it onto the page, I'm going to clean up the article by tomorrow...--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 22:01, 17 March 2009 (CET)

==God Damn.==
She's hot . I want her. [[User:ChainsawChandler|ChainsawChandler]] 00:16, 19 May 2009 (CEST)
*I could pull more photos if the community wants them --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 04:50, 19 May 2009 (CEST)
:Nudes plix. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 13:52, 26 July 2009 (CEST)

**MMM...boobies...-[[User:Gwonam|Gwonam]]

==Youtube and Myspace==
http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren

Youtube page

http://www.myspace.com/annamclerran

myspace page.

I dont know how to update the page with this.
[[User:Granola|Granola]] 13:37, 7 July 2009 (CEST)

==I love lesbians, more than anyone, so why don't lesbians love me?==
Hey, I was adding a summary to an IRC chat where Chris talks about the lesbian thing, and I'm curious - do we have any primary source on that besides Chris? The page mentions Vivian also passed on that tidbit, but where did she get it from?

I ask only because I spent years growing up Mormon (kicked the habit when I left home), and the notion of an out-of-the-closet lesbian Mormon is very, very strange. Especially if she's out, still active in the church, AND living in Utah. Like I mentioned on the IRC page, the church collectively hates gay people almost as much as Chris does. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:38, 25 November 2009 (CET)

It might be that Anna told Chris she was a lesbian in order to prevent Chris from sexually harrassing her as he did Megan. On the other hand Vivian's testimony to this might be proof to the contrary. --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]
*Yeah, the prevailing opinion (and I think Anna even confessed this on the old PVCC) is that she's really not a lesbian and this is something she told Chris so he wouldn't harass her and rule out ANY possibility for a relationship in Chris's mind. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:55, 25 November 2009 (CET)

**I think the best thing to do is not to change the page, however. It would be best that newfags and basement dwellers think she's a dyke in order to prevent people from trying to stalk her OL and essentially being like Chris. --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]

**I saw a post she made on a message board recently (damned if I remember how to find it again) where she talked about the difficulties of being a lesbian Mormon. I thought she was just blowing Chris off, too, until I saw that. BTW, she must have finished college years ago, does anyone know if she's still in Utah?[[User:Smokedaddy|Smokedaddy]] 16:01, 1 June 2011 (PDT)
==[[CWCki:NAR|OH SHIT, WE WERE WRONG]]==
[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] actually bothered to follow Anna's twitter and found out that [http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439 that was really Anna who said the stuff about Chris]. Can someone dig through the ED edits to find out when this was posted and who said this? If this was posted under Chris's account, was this something Anna told Chris and Chris posted it there verbatim, or just something she approved of?

But anyways, the undos - really, people here shouldn't be referred to as "disgusting bags of crap" even if it's Chris. People like CWCki because we're slightly less biased than ED and our language is more encyclopedic than full out bashing, yet with a tone of familiarity that makes articles enjoyable to read. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:56, 7 December 2009 (CET)
* Sorry about that Chief, I'll try to cut down on the insults, I'll rewrite that bit. Also, I'll look into the ED revisions. (I still think Chris a disgusting bag of crap)--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:11, 7 December 2009 (CET)
**Cut down on the "ED" flavor. I hope this revision is more acceptable. Will update with research on her ED edits later. For now, I think it's important that we change the article to reflect the truth, to the best of our knowledge --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:21, 7 December 2009 (CET)
**Alright, back from my terrify journey to ED. All the edits were done by the same username: [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:ChadamRocket ChadamRocket]. All their edits are about Chris, attention whoring and an edit war with an ED user named [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Pollyanna Pollyanna]. Here's her [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Special:Contributions/ChadamRocket contributions]--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 13:33, 7 December 2009 (CET)
:::*Very good work, Megaman. Now we just need to find when she first posted that comment about Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:57, 8 December 2009 (CET)
:::: The quote was posted on 05:52, 9 August 2008. What do you want me to do with all this information?--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:20, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Criticism==
That section needs to be reworded a bit. It's alright - more or less trying to get at "Anna defends Chris as being manipulated but Chris does all this shit on his own free will and volition" but it's not doing a very good job communicating this. Needs to be reworded and also better piping (that is, things like "own" should not link to Megan).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:06, 8 December 2009 (CET)
* I was trying to demonstrate the many times Chris had done something strange and spontaneous without actualy listing and summarizing each one. I'll work on the re-wording. --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 09:20, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris's relationship with Anna==
I just notice there's a cursory statement about how Anna and Chris were friends, like with the birthday party thing, but no real elaboration on that. Is there any way we could perhaps muster everything Chris has said about Anna to try and piece together a narrative on the nature of their relationship? Right now, the article seems to make a passing note about Tale of the Crazy Pacer and how the two became friends but then skips into how she got involved in ED drama and the trolls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:29, 19 December 2009 (CET)

==[[Asperger Syndrome|Asperger's?]]==
I found Anna's [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran formspring page] and when she was asked a question on if she hates autistic people, she stated that she has a form of autism herself. After reading a bit on Anna, I'm guessing Asperger's. I'm not sure if she's lying or whatever or whether we discussed this already, but I'd thought I'd share. [[User:HermanoBluth|HermanoBluth]] 04:16, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
:It's probably self-diagnosed, or she's kidding. [[User:Hamsterjelly|Hamsterjelly]] 21:35, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Or could be part of this claim that she begs for attention. Which would be heavily ironic come to think of it. [[User:SerenityMoonstoner|SerenityMoonstone]] 23:41, 11 August 2010 (EST)

==Needs to be expanded==

I think this article would work better if it listed specific examples and quotes that show why Anna as an attention whore and unreliable source of information. I know this wiki is devoted to Chris, and things not directly related to him are only descr4ibed in minimal detail, but I still think this article could use more context.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 10:41, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

== Turns out she really is gay ==

Is it worth mentioning on the page? Or should we just leave it since it's inconsequential and funnier to think she made it up to keep Chris away?

Sauces: [http://icerape.tumblr.com/post/2784133782/tell-your-parents-something-youve-been-witholding] and [http://icerape.tumblr.com/post/2774450080/gonna-tell-my-parents-the-secret-tomorrow] [[User:Arius|Arius]] 19:57, 16 January 2011 (PST)
:I dunno. She's proven to be such a bullshit factory (how many fucking blogs is she up to?) that I wonder if it isn't long past time to just ignore her. If you ask me I reckon this page could stand a good paring down. There's a lot of shit about her and only so much about her and Chris. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 20:52, 16 January 2011 (PST)

== Setting you guys straight. ==

I'm going in and editing your wiki page on me for your sake as much as for mine. I'm trying not to change too much, but I'm correcting any false or outdated information, including nonworking links. After this, seeing as how Chris and I don't talk these days, I really see no reason for anything to ever be added or changed about the page. I am a non-player. If you want to change some things back, whatever, but know that I'm not changing anything that's true or mostly true. I recommend deleting the whole ED DRAMA section and the CRITICISM/BACKLASH section as they don't really hold relevance to the CWCki.
:Honestly, I know little about this, but don't worry about changing it a lot if it's inaccurate. This isn't exactly our best-written article and the only goal this article should have is explaining how you pertain to Chris. I'll go through this article tomorrow or something and trim irrelevant details out if you don't. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:45, 24 February 2011 (PST)
*Personally the criticism, while obviously not flattering to you, still details a part of your involvement with Chris and how it fits into the larger troll culture, that is one of the few times it's appropriate to address metatrolling. While normally it's poor form to edit one's wiki article and you have your own personally biases, if you have something to say, you are welcome to contribute.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:08, 24 February 2011 (PST)

==On the Subject of Mic==
*Is Anna Mic? McLerran -> Mic. That would make sense in the context of previous Gal-Pals. Perhaps she's in contact with Chris again. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 20:12, 20 April 2011 (PDT)
::i don't know but it would make the line "unfortunately she REFUSES to go beyond just friends" funnier if he was saying it about a lesbian -[[User:Acousticvirgin|Acousticvirgin]] 21:02, 20 April 2011 (PDT)
** As well as the whole "She's a tomboy and told me to get in touch with my feminine side" thing.

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYguLerBg8
** In [[Anna McLerran]] on 2011-09-20 22:29:43, 404 Not Found
** In [[Anna McLerran]] on 2011-09-28 07:53:31, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:57, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Estrangement from Chris ==

A lot of articles around the wiki claim Chris has managed to alienate her, but this article doesn't mention anything beyond their argument about gay people. How true is it? I'm inclined to believe it, based on Chris's reputation for his inability to keep friends, and the fact that on the occasions I've glanced at Chris's Facebook, I've never seen any comments by Anna. Does anyone have more information on this? [[User:Lysistrata|Lysistrata]] ([[User talk:Lysistrata|talk]]) 16:33, 28 July 2014 (UTC)
:Yeah, it does seem like editors on this wiki might have blown the gay marriage spat between Chris and Anna out of proportion. Maybe it would be best to correct the articles that portray the gay marriage spat as something other than a brief incident. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 18:20, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

== Pregnant? ==

I don't know if its relent to Chris at all, but Anna posted at least two positive pregnancy tests on her facebook page. Anyone know if she ever had the kids, or if Chris maybe mentioned them?

--[[User:PrimeTime|PrimeTime]] ([[User talk:PrimeTime|talk]]) 22:46, 23 August 2014 (UTC)

That's pretty relevant, if Chris is still in touch with her. What are the details, though? Seeing as she's a [[Homos|lesbian]], it seems rather out of the blue. Doubt it's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], though. --[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 23:04, 23 August 2014 (UTC)

Here is [http://tinyurl.com/p3rd9gd one] she posted last April. I know they were still talking as of earlier this month. It could be a counter troll, but I think it deserves at least a look. It could be an interesting play on the lesbian angle since she left for Utah.
--[[User:PrimeTime|PrimeTime]] ([[User talk:PrimeTime|talk]]) 10:07, 24 August 2014 (UTC)

Those mormons. Anyways,if you do find anything, post it; I'd imagine Chris would know about it. [[Chris and his ego|Probably]]. --[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 10:50, 24 August 2014 (UTC)

== Skateboarding video ==

Found a video of Anna and skateboarding. Not sure if this can go anywhere, but it's interesting. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyaVPoDh_d4 Video] -[[User:GhostofKittyChandler|GhostofKittyChandler]] ([[User talk:GhostofKittyChandler|talk]]) 19:06, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

== What about now? ==

Anyone know what she's up to in the wake of him fucking his mom? might be worth looking into.--[[User:Blue Bully|Blue Bully]] ([[User talk:Blue Bully|talk]]) 13:26, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

:Is it relevant? When's the last time she involved herself? --[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] ([[User talk:Thepicklesuitintheman|talk]]) 03:37, 4 September 2021 (UTC)

COVID-19

2020-06-09T05:57:41Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: Didn't mean to edit out this word the last time I edited it

{{Ongoing}}

{{quote|This Viral Event is actually a better step in our own developments and evolution, as well as a deity-level test to sort out the weak from the moderate and strong|Chris.<ref name=viral>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref>}}
[[File:CWCorona.png|thumb|Coronavirus attacking C-197. Colorized]]
'''[[wikipedia:Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19]]''' ('''Co'''rona'''vi'''rus '''D'''isease 20'''19'''), caused by a virus officially named '''SARS-CoV-2''' and colloquially referred to simply as '''coronavirus''', is a fast-spreading disease responsible for the largest pandemic of the 21st century thus far. It has prompted governments to recommend stricter [[ShowerClean|sanitation routines]]; and to encourage [[BACK THE FUCK OFF|social distancing practices]], such as staying six feet (2 meters) apart, [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool|wearing masks]] when going out, and only keeping essential services open – which, to the dismay of [[Chris]], doesn't include conventions.

In [[March 2020]], in the midst of the pandemic, Chris exhibited a juvenile attitude to the nature of the disease and the [[Chris and health|body's own workings]]. He believes learning about the symptoms would [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally tire]] him which would put him at a higher risk of contracting the virus.<ref name=viral></ref> Later that month, he endorsed watching the [[anime]] series ''[[wikipedia:Cells at Work!|Cells at Work!]]'' to build one's resistance;<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#watch anime to kill coronavirus]], 22 March 2020</ref> the cartoon depicts body cells as people, and is based on anatomical and hematologic science (though with obvious artistic license at play given the show's portrayal) but given Chris's views on [[OCs]], it would appear that he believes it to be a direct, literal depiction of what goes on in his body.

==Impact on Chris's fantasies==
On 28 March, Chris claimed the pandemic to be a sign of the [[Dimensional Merge]] and that COVID-19 was cured weeks ago in his fantasy world, also saying that [[My Little Pony]] characters were working to stop the pandemic problems in the real world.<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#COVID-19 a sign of Dimensional Merge]]</ref>

Chris has claimed that this pandemic is a part of the merge used for [[Dimensional Merge#Beliefs on the Merge|evening out the population]] on both sides of the dimensional curtain before the merge. He says this virus will help remove those who are [[Honor roll|mentally]] and [[I AM STRONG|physically]] weak.

This disease had also made its way to [[CWCville]] in [[C-197]] and some neighboring dimensions, but was somehow cured in all of them by mid April 2020. It is not known if [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s have tried to crowbar a more severe outbreak into C-197, but Chris has so far ignored them.

==Impact on Chris IRL==
Due to COVID-19 being declared a global pandemic in early 2020, multiple rules came into effect, including but not limited to shutting down of all non-essential services. Though the definition of essential was very vague in the USA, conventions were labelled non-essential and were not allowed to open. This [[Stress|stressed]] our autistic hero as he could no longer go the places that had (somewhat) accepted him.

Chris couldn't deal with the cancellation of the one place where he found people who liked the same things he did and as a [[Chris and coping|coping mechanism]] declared that Sonichu has taken over his body and his soul has left for CWCville to attend BABScon.<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Chris body swaps with Sonichu to cope with missing BABScon]]</ref> Despite social distancing having been enforced in Virginia, this didn't stop Chris [[Spirit possession|(as Sonichu)]] attending the [[Leftovermedia]] livestream with [[Weening|ween]] Noah and the musician Max Mandu, footage from the livestream clearly showing that social distancing wasn't in place.

Chris also said that a vaccine would be developed within two weeks from mid-March, suggesting that all his knowledge about epidemics comes from [[Chris and reality|Plague Inc]]. He then went on to say that we have not applied what we have learnt from past epidemics to this one. During the SARS and MERS epidemics, we were not able to create a vaccine 3 months after they were detected, thereby proving how [[naïve]] he is.

==Spending==
===Support for artists===
[[File:Bottlecaps.jpg|thumb|150px|Unlike Chris's finances, the hoard keeps increasing]]

Instead of paying [[Financhu Crisis|his mortgage or various loans]], Chris [[Chris and money|decided]] that he will be buying all the garbage that other Bronies have for sale online.<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Sonichu spends money]]</ref> He begged his audience to buy his cards and comics so he can then give that money to Bronycon artists. When people called him out for this, he said the cancellation of Bronycon left these people with no source of income and that he was a helpful[[Chris and escapism| <s>person</s> Sonichu]] for buying their trinkets.<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Money well spent]]</ref>
Chris probably doesn't actually care about the artists and just wanted all their products and gave his stupid reason to justify wasting money.
{{Clear}}

===Stimulus check===
[[File:Chrisnewtablet.jpg|thumb|200px|Notice the charging cable held together using tape and velcro, [[Destruction of Chris's house|history will be repeating itself]]]]

On 29 May, Chris purchased an iPad, stylus, and subscription to Clipstudio to draw art digitally, using money from the Economic Impact Payment [[Monthly tugboat|stimulus money]] sent out by the [[Pmurt]] administration.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1266470207717072898</ref> Chris complained about how difficult the software was to use.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1266470865459429378</ref>

{| class=“wikitable“
|-
!Item
!Price
!Check balance
|-
|Apple iPad pro 9.7 inch
|$500
|$700
|-
|Adonit Pro 4 stylus
|$30
|$670
|-
|Bluetooth keyboard
|$20
|$650
|-
|Screen protector
|$10
|$640
|-
|}

Note - It is not known if Chris has an iPad Air 2 or an iPad Pro. These are the only two iPads(currently being sold) with a screen size of 9.7 inches. If Chris has the cheaper iPad Air 2, he has saved around $150.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]

== External links ==

* [https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 TRUE and HONEST] information about COVID-19

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Politics]]

COVID-19

2020-06-08T18:29:01Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: COVID-19 is the disease caused by SARS-CoV-2 the way AIDS is caused by HIV.

{{Ongoing}}

{{quote|This Viral Event is actually a better step in our own developments and evolution, as well as a deity-level test to sort out the weak from the moderate and strong|Chris.<ref name=viral>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref>}}
[[File:CWCorona.png|thumb|Coronavirus attacking C-197. Colorized]]
'''[[wikipedia:Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19]]''' ('''Co'''rona'''vi'''rus '''D'''isease 20'''19'''), caused by the virus officially named as '''SARS-CoV-2''' and colloquially referred to simply as '''coronavirus''', is a fast-spreading disease responsible for the largest pandemic of the 21st century thus far. It has prompted governments to encourage social distancing practices such as staying six feet (2 meters) apart, wearing masks when going out, and only keeping essential services open – which to the dismay of [[Chris]], doesn't include conventions.

In [[March 2020]], in the midst of the pandemic, Chris exhibited a juvenile attitude to the nature of the disease and the [[Health|body's own workings]]. He believes learning about the symptoms would mentally tire him which would put him at a higher risk of contracting the virus.<ref name=viral></ref> Later that month, he endorsed watching the [[anime]] series ''[[wikipedia:Cells at Work!|Cells at Work!]]'' to build one's resistance;<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#watch anime to kill coronavirus]], 22 March 2020</ref> the cartoon depicts body cells as people, but given Chris's views on [[OCs]], it would appear that he believes it to be a direct, literal depiction of what goes on in his body.

==Impact on Chris's fantasies==
On 28 March, Chris claimed the pandemic to be a sign of the [[Dimensional Merge]] and that COVID-19 was cured weeks ago in his fantasy world, also saying that [[My Little Pony]] characters were working to stop the pandemic problems in the real world.<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#COVID-19 a sign of Dimensional Merge]]</ref>

Chris has claimed that this pandemic is a part of the merge used for evening out the population on both sides of the dimensional curtain before the merge. He says this virus will help remove those who are mentally and physically weak.

This disease had also made its way to [[CWCville]] in [[C-197]] and some neighboring dimensions, but was somehow cured in all of them by mid April 2020. It is not known if [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s have tried to crowbar a more severe outbreak into C-197, but Chris has so far ignored them.

==Impact on Chris IRL==
Due to it being declared a global pandemic, multiple rules came into effect, including but not limited to shutting down of all non-essential services. Though the definition of essential was very vague in the USA, conventions were labelled non-essential and were not allowed to open. This stressed our autistic hero as he could no longer go the places that had (somewhat) accepted him.

Chris couldn't deal with the cancellation of the one place where he found people who liked the same things he did and as a [[Chris and coping|coping mechanism]] declared that Sonichu has taken over his body and his soul has left for CWCville to attend BABScon.<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Chris body swaps with Sonichu to cope with missing BABScon]]</ref> Despite social distancing having been enforced in Virginia, this didn't stop Chris [[Spirit possession|(as Sonichu)]] attending the [[Leftovermedia]] livestream with [[Weening|ween]] Noah and the musician Max Mandu, footage from the livestream clearly showing that social distancing wasn't in place.

Chris also said that a vaccine would be developed within two weeks from mid-March meaning all his knowledge about epidemics comes from Plague Inc. He then went on to say that we have not applied what we have learnt from past epidemics to this one. During the SARS and MERS epidemics, we were not able to create a vaccine 3 months after they were detected, thereby proving how naïve he is.

==Spending==
===Support for artists===
[[File:Bottlecaps.jpg|thumb|150px|Unlike Chris's finances, the hoard keeps increasing]]

Instead of paying his mortgage or various loans, Chris decided that he will be buying all the garbage that other Bronies have for sale online.<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Sonichu spends money]]</ref> He begged his audience to buy his cards and comics so he can then give that money to Bronycon artists. When people called him out for this, he said the cancellation of Bronycon left these people with no source of income and that he was a helpful[[Chris and escapism| <s>person</s> Sonichu]] for buying their trinkets.<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts#Money well spent]]</ref>
Chris probably doesn't actually care about the artists and just wanted all their products and gave his stupid reason to justify wasting money.
{{Clear}}

===Stimulus check===
[[File:Chrisnewtablet.jpg|thumb|200px|Notice the charging cable held together using tape and velcro, [[Destruction of Chris's house|history will be repeating itself]]]]

On 29 May, Chris purchased an iPad, stylus, and subscription to Clipstudio to draw art digitally, using money from the Economic Impact Payment stimulus money sent out by the [[Pmurt]] administration.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1266470207717072898</ref> Chris complained about how difficult the software was to use.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1266470865459429378</ref>

{| class=“wikitable“
|-
!Item
!Price
!Check balance
|-
|Apple iPad pro 9.7 inch
|$500
|$700
|-
|Adonit Pro 4 stylus
|$30
|$670
|-
|Bluetooth keyboard
|$20
|$650
|-
|Screen protector
|$10
|$640
|-
|}

Note - It is not known if Chris has an iPad Air 2 or an iPad Pro. These are the only two iPads(currently being sold) with a screen size of 9.7 inches. Incase Chris has the cheaper iPad Air 2, he would save around 150$.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]

== External links ==

* [https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 TRUE and HONEST] information about COVID-19

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Politics]]

Talk:Tour of Chris's House

2014-01-15T04:45:46Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

Why the fuck did he take these down so quick? Don't tell me he was uploading videos to his YT channel and expecting only Ivy to watch them. [[User:William Maize|William Maize]] 23:31, 27 March 2009 (CET)
*Yes, pretty much that is the reason. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:21, 28 March 2009 (CET)
:* It could also be his parents found out and they didn't want a visit from the social services... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 11:36, 28 March 2009 (CET)

So, it's a two story raised ranch? can someone use the footage to build a simple floorplan? We may need to case the place!--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 10:21, 3 April 2009 (CEST)

Kind of tried figuring that out... its sort of tough because its impossible to get your bearings due to all the shit. It's like there isn't a landmark in the place. Plus the screen goes dark every now and then..--[[User:DrBonerSauce|DrBonerSauce]] 14:43, 28 August 2009 (CEST)

*Here are my attempts:
<gallery>Image:CWChouse1.JPG
Image:CWChouse2.JPG
Image:CWChouse3.JPG
</gallery>
The green line is CWC's route. The rooms aren't in the right proportions but you can see how they align to each other. Does it suffice for the article? --[[User:Taffer|Taffer]] 18:53, 3 December 2009 (CET)

==Trancript==

It might be profitable to get some images from the video and use those still pics with the transcript to show what he's describing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:29, 20 June 2009 (CEST)

:*I totally agree. Right now, I'm working on the transcript for the Outside half of the tour, but maybe I could do that once I'm done. If not, I'm sure someone else would like to. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 22:35, 20 June 2009 (CEST)

==Rage==

Well, you heard Chris......

Get this off the internet "NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!!!!! >:(" [[User:kewlkat101|kewlkat101]] 19:47, 28 August 2009 (ET)
*OMG, DELETE EVERYTHING!!!, he's calling the detectives!!! :o [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 00:36, 30 August 2009 (CEST)
*Bob Chandler Doesn't know the vids are still circulating. Someone should contact him and record it for posterity. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 21:29, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
:*If Chris is not wise enough to intercept the mail, a videotape or a DVD would do the trick. Pictures are nice too! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:38, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

== I don't think he's saying "was a bathroom" at the start ==

To me, it sounded like he was saying "I’d say-- well, that was the, uh… ''craft'' room. I have to fix the door."

I'm merely going by logical sense here, why would they have two bathrooms next to each other? It seems to me that's what he's saying, after listening closely a few times. Does it sound like that to anyone else? --[[User:ToyoWolf|ToyoWolf]] 09:38, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

== Hoarders on TLC? ==

Yeah, I just sent an email to Hoarders about the Chandler household. I really hope that they get featured on the show, but because the only contact I could give them was Chris's email, even though I warned them about his arrogance, I have a feeling I'll have started a new saga for Chris... can anybody say Hoarders Saga? '''EDIT:''' It was a different hoarding show... not the one named Hoarders on A&E, but Hoarding: Buried Alive on TLC. Still, would be cool. [[User:Busty Jerkop|Busty Jerkop]] 20:59, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:Nobody cares about this and this shit doesn't go here. Take it to offshore cwcki along with all the other stupid ideas. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:07, 30 December 2010 (PST)

== "bathroom"/"craft room" ==

I'm almost sure he says "that was the craft room" and not "that was the bathroom" at the beginning of the video. It wouldn't make any sense to say "that was the bathroom" and then... go show us the bathroom. (Then again, this is Chris we're talking about.) When he says this, he's obviously facing a door. My theory is that this is technically one of the bathrooms, the other two being Chris's room and "the music room." This would also mean Bob and Barb didn't have a dedicated bedroom, which is odd, but...

Anyway, my best guess is that the floorplan above is wrong. This is my best guess at the floorplan:

<gallery>Image:Chris's_house_downstairs.jpg
Image:Chris's_house_upstairs.jpg
</gallery>

File:Chris's house downstairs.jpg

2014-01-15T04:43:01Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

File:Chris's house upstairs.jpg

2014-01-15T04:30:39Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

Tour of Chris's House

2014-01-14T02:44:03Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: I'm virtually certain he says this. This is somewhat important; see talk (if my edits ever load).

{{Articleofthenow}}
In these two videos, uploaded on [[2009#March|27 March 2009]], [[Chris]] provides a '''tour of [[14 Branchland Court|his house]]''' and the property that it's on. Such a video had been requested by both [[BlueSpike|Julie]]<ref>[[IRC (15 December 2008)]]</ref> and [[Ivy]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> Like his own room, Chris's entire house is filled with junk.

Sometime in late [[August 2009]], Chris's parents found out about the video and [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|hilarity ensued]].

==Inside==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Tour of Chris's House - Inside
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y_kcgnwfoBQ}}
| stardate = 27 [[March 2009]]
| previous = [[CWC_Major_Update_26_March_2009#Video|CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]
| next = [[#Outside|Tour of Chris's House - Outside]]
}}
{{quote|My family is a bunch of pack rats…|Chris, uttering the understatement of the century}}

=== Transcript ===

[''drops camera, which lands pointing at an empty wall'']

Ow.

[''grunts and strains with effort to move things around off-screen'']

[''Natalie Imbruglia’s "Torn" plays in the background for a while'']

[''finally picks camera up'']

Still recording?!

[''starts tour'']

I’d say—well, that was the, uh… craft room. I have to fix the door.

Um… here’s ''a'' bathroom. [[April 16 Fetish Vids|I take my shower in here ''often'']]. Uh… use some… [[Axe]] and… Head & Shoulders.

Bathroom sink… and a ''commode''.

Got a card t-table there… that I, uh, would sometimes set up when I wanna… play [[card games|cards]] in my room or something… or when I wanna do some work.

This is the ''kitchen''. Well, uh, just decided to leave the tree up, w-without the, uh, star on top. Yeah, it—it’s a bit of a ''mess''. But… at least we’ve got enough room to warm up a [[Christopher_Paul_Whitney_reveal|''pizza'']] or wash ''dishes''. All that good stuff. The bare essentials.

And… this ''was''… the living room. Again: before we… cluttered it up with so much… ''mess''.

And… go downstairs. Here’s the front door.

Goin’ outside. See some of it.

Here’s [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty_Chandler|Kitty]]. [''uses a baby-talk voice''] Hello, Kittyyy! What ya lookin’ at? Kitty, Kitty! Hello, Kitty, Kitty! Pretty!

Mmm… go downstairs further.

This would be the music room. Again: before it got cluttered. But now, my mom sleeps in here often.

Yep.

[''sighs loudly in a tone of despair''] My family is a bunch of pack rats…

Mmm…

Downstairs bathroom. Not much goin’ on in here.

And then, ''another'' hallway.

The… utility room. There’s a… washer and dryer… [''The [[Chris and fashion|"Classic" red and blue striped shirt]] can be seen''] and a hallway right outside… the door.

[''speaks in whispers''] This was the family room. It got cluttered and stuff.

Hi, [[Bob Chandler|Pop]]!

Bob: Hello, my son!

What’cha up to?

Bob: Goin' to pee.

Okay. Get on outta here!

[''Bob says something that’s unintelligible'']

Okay!

And… nowadays, the family room’s just basically used for… my dad viewing television… uh, a little bit of ''comfort''. And… he sleeps alone on that bed over there.

[''abruptly stops recording'']

==Outside==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Tour of Chris's House - Outside
| video = {{#ev:youtube|reiGhxyZ4ok}}
| stardate = 27 [[March 2009]]
| previous = [[#Inside|Tour of Chris's House - Inside]]
| next = [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009#Video|CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]
}}
{{quote|Got bats in our belfry.}}

=== Transcript ===

Alright. So, we’ve seen the inside, so… let’s take a look outside and… [''uses a baby-talk voice with his cat''] ''let the kitty come in!'' She wants to come in! Huh, [[Chandler_Cats#Kitty_Chandler|Kitty]]? [''Kitty comes inside as Chris heads outside''] See ya later!

Yep. Some of the front yard. Uh, it’s… a bit of a cloudy day.

[''groans weakly''] A branch hit my ear.

This is the front of the house.

[''exhales loudly''] This would be my father’s-- some of my father’s ''day lily garden''. More beautiful… during the ''summertime'', but the flowers have not yet bloomed.

Uh… my father’s… garden shed. He comes out here and listens to, uh… music on ''warm days''. Got all that good stuff in there. Got a swing in there. A swing.

Uh… ''a'' side of the house. Got bats in our belfry.

We got more stuff around here.

There’s an arboretum.

Uh… that would be the workshop. Uh… again: or—at least it used to be a workshop before… the inside got cluttered with… more junk.

And… more flower beds look bare in the summer time.

We have a ''hill''. It’s a hill. How would you say “a hill”? It’s a hill!

Uh… can’t see the front of the—uh, the front door… of the, uh, workshop clearly because it’s ''cluttered''.

This is the back of the house. Gotta have a back porch. That’s cluttered, too.

That’s our, uh… ''gazebo''.

I just tripped over a ''branch''.

[''sighs''] I could see it better if we didn’t have so many ''trees!''

This is Patty’s ''pen''. My dog. Yeah, God rest her soul, God… ''bless'' her soul.

Down here a little bit. Yeah… we buried her right there next to the gazebo! And… there’s her doghouse! Yeah, this branch… fell down from… that tree. Uh… it’s too heavy to pick up.

That would be the, uh, ''back door''… but… that door’s cluttered with stuff, so we can’t go in ''that'' way.

There—there’s a tractor. And… ''cars''.

And, uh… ''oh, yeah''… there’s the, uh… arch where I sat down and… did that fun little picture of me and Patti sitting together.

Is that our cat? Hi, [[Chandler_Cats#Scamper_Chandler|Scamper]]! What’chu doin’ over there?

[''uses a baby-talk voice with his cats'']

Yeah. There’s [[Chandler_Cats#Lucy_Chandler|Lucy]]. Hi, Lucy.

Yeah. Hi, buddy! What’cha up to?

Hi, Lucy! Lucy, Lucy! Pretty baby!

Hi, buddy! Just wandering about, aren’t you? Yeah.

[''switches back to his normal voice'']

And, uh… in the distance there, that’s… our ''mailbox''.

Just an ''old'' mailbox. It’s painted, but… it lost the paint due to weather.

Anyway… that’s our house! Hope you enjoyed, uh… a little bit of a ''tour''. Have a good day.

And, uh, unless you’re invited-- ''unless'' you’re invited, ''no trespassing''.

Again: that’s our house.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RQWknv8GOT4}}
| stardate = 11 [[April 2009]]
| maker = MewLime
| subject = | type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 2: Homecomeuppance
| video = {{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}
| stardate = 03 [[May 2009]]
| maker = MewLime
| subject = | type = }}

==See also==
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House II]]

==References==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-27]]
[[Category:Chris's house]]

File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg

2014-01-13T05:25:51Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: A day or two later (via ruckersvillian on the CWCki blog)

A day or two later

(via ruckersvillian on the CWCki blog)

2014 house fire

2014-01-11T21:38:15Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Destruction of Property */

{{Quote| FIRE! 2:00 AM. 911 arrived ten minutes later. Did everything they could; started downstairs; bathroom; electrical; made it to the roof. Considering EVERYTHING, but my mom, both dogs, me, and Lucy and my iPhone, shoes, clothes, whatnot on our backs made it out... Considered physically lost.|Chris, January 10 2014}}

On January 10, 2014, Chris claimed via Facebook that his house was destroyed by a fire. This was confirmed later that day when a local TV news broadcast gave a brief report on the incident.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

==Order of Events==
As information about the blaze is still sketchy, this chronology is a speculation of the order of events based on what knowledge is known about the fire:

- 2:00am: The fire begins. A local news station reporting on the blaze states the fire began around 3:00am. [[Honor roll|Chris was operating a coffee brewer in the bathroom at the time when sparks erupted from the power socket.]]

- 2:00-2:10am: Chris evacuates the household, along with Barbara and the Chandler pets. Somewhere at this point, emergency services are called. However, it seems unlikely that this was all done within the 10 minute window from when the fire supposedly started and when the fire department arrived, especially considering how cluttered the house is. It's more likely that the fire started slightly earlier than 2:00am, and that time was when Chris called emergency services.

- 2:10am: Local fire fighters arrive at the scene. It is as of yet unknown how long it took to put the blaze out, but since it was still dark by the time the news crew arrived to report on the fire (which had already been put out), it was still dark outside. Therefore, we can assume it took no more than 2 or 3 hours to extinguish the blaze.

- 5:22am: Chris first breaks the news about the house fire. He commented twice on the post in quick succession, lamenting the loss of personal belongings and the memories of his home, as well as stating he was able to salvage his mother's medication and his wallet. At the time of the posting, he was boarding with a generous neighbour.

- 7:10am: Chris posted an angry comment on the Keurig Facebook page, producer of the coffee brewer, blaming faulty wiring in the product for creating the spark that created the fire. Chris then admitted to operating the coffee brewer within the bathroom after responding to a comment from his friend William Elliott Waterman, who vainly tried to calm Chris down and not seek vengeance so soon after the fire.

- ??: An email from Chris is released giving more information about the event. It is revealed that Chris and Barbara were allowed to enter the house and retrieve necessities for living from the house, and are currently receiving accommodation from their insurer while investigation and "repairs" are conducted. Of note is that Chris was able to retrieve his 3DS, which is still functional, giving hope to the possibility that his room may still be intact or undamaged by the blaze.

==Nature of the Blaze==
The cause of the fire is still being investigated.

According to Chris, the fire started in the downstairs bathroom, and was of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|electrical]] nature; most likely due to faulty wiring or from the short-circuiting of some electrical device. Chris, soon after making the initial posts, left a comment on the Facebook page of Keurig Coffee and Brewers, blaming the coffee brewer's faulty wiring for having "sparked my power socket" and starting the blaze.

Why Chris was brewing coffee at 2am in his bathroom is not yet known, but it is likely due to his "biological clock" and the piles of junk cluttering his kitchen.

==Victims and Survivors==
Chris reports that he, his mother, his pet dogs and Lucy the Cat escaped the blaze unharmed. It is unknown as of yet what has happened to the remaining Chandler pets; whether they were deceased prior to the blaze, or whether they were tragically lost in the fire. Many of the cats spend much of their time outdoors and could be presumed to have survived if they were alive at the time of the fire.

According to the news report, one of the firefighters suffered minor, unspecified injuries while putting out the fire.

==Destruction of Property==
From what Chris has written so far, it can be assumed that the Chandler's escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to save his wallet, medication for his mother, as well as some clothes and shoes, as well as his iPhone. Since the fire, Chris has also been observed on Miiverse, suggesting that he also managed to save his 3DS at some point.

Until more information is released, we can assume that [[Relics of Fail|anything else in 14 Branchland Court]] is potentially lost either to the fire or to the water used to put it out.

==What This Means For Chris==
In an email, Chris claimed he and his mother are staying in a hotel until the house is repaired.

2014 house fire

2014-01-11T20:08:55Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

{{Quote| FIRE! 2:00 AM. 911 arrived ten minutes later. Did everything they could; started downstairs; bathroom; electrical; made it to the roof. Considering EVERYTHING, but my mom, both dogs, me, and Lucy and my iPhone, shoes, clothes, whatnot on our backs made it out... Considered physically lost.|Chris, January 10 2014}}

On January 10, 2014, Chris claimed via Facebook that his house was destroyed by a fire. This was confirmed later that day when a local TV news broadcast gave a brief report on the incident.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

==Order of Events==
As information about the blaze is still sketchy, this chronology is a speculation of the order of events based on what knowledge is known about the fire:

- 2:00am: The fire begins. A local news station reporting on the blaze states the fire began around 3:00am. Chris was operating a coffee brewer in the bathroom at the time when sparks erupted from the power socket.

- 2:00-2:10am: Chris evacuates the household, along with Barbara and the Chandler pets. Somewhere at this point, emergency services are called. However, it seems unlikely that this was all done within the 10 minute window from when the fire supposedly started and when the fire department arrived, especially considering how cluttered the house is. It's more likely that the fire started slightly earlier than 2:00am, and that time was when Chris called emergency services.

- 2:10am: Local fire fighters arrive at the scene. It is as of yet unknown how long it took to put the blaze out, but since it was still dark by the time the news crew arrived to report on the fire (which had already been put out), it was still dark outside. Therefore, we can assume it took no more than 2 or 3 hours to extinguish the blaze.

- 5:22am: Chris first breaks the news about the house fire. He commented twice on the post in quick succession, lamenting the loss of personal belongings and the memories of his home, as well as stating he was able to salvage his mother's medication and his wallet. At the time of the posting, he was boarding with a generous neighbour.

- 7:10am: Chris posted an angry comment on the Keurig Facebook page, producer of the coffee brewer, blaming faulty wiring in the product for creating the spark that created the fire. Chris then admitted to operating the coffee brewer within the bathroom after responding to a comment from his friend William Elliott Waterman, who vainly tried to calm Chris down and not seek vengeance so soon after the fire.

- ??: An email from Chris is released giving more information about the event. It is revealed that Chris and Barbara were allowed to enter the house and retrieve necessities for living from the house, and are currently receiving accommodation from their insurer while investigation and "repairs" are conducted. Of note is that Chris was able to retrieve his 3DS, which is still functional, giving hope to the possibility that his room may still be intact or undamaged by the blaze.

==Nature of the Blaze==
The cause of the fire is still being investigated.

According to Chris, the fire started in the downstairs bathroom, and was of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|electrical]] nature; most likely due to faulty wiring or from the short-circuiting of some electrical device. Chris, soon after making the initial posts, left a comment on the Facebook page of Keurig Coffee and Brewers, blaming the coffee brewer's faulty wiring for having "sparked my power socket" and starting the blaze.

Why Chris was brewing coffee at 2am in his bathroom is not yet known, but it is likely due to his "biological clock" and the piles of junk cluttering his kitchen.

==Victims and Survivors==
Chris reports that he, his mother, his pet dogs and Lucy the Cat escaped the blaze unharmed. It is unknown as of yet what has happened to the remaining Chandler pets; whether they were deceased prior to the blaze, or whether they were tragically lost in the fire. Many of the cats spend much of their time outdoors and could be presumed to have survived if they were alive at the time of the fire.

According to the news report, one of the firefighters suffered minor, unspecified injuries while putting out the fire.

==Destruction of Property==
From what Chris has written so far, it can be assumed that the Chandler's escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to save his wallet, medication for his mother, as well as some clothes and shoes, as well as his iPhone. Since the fire, Chris has also been observed on Miiverse, suggesting that he also managed to save his 3DS at some point.

Until more information is released, we can assume that anything else in 14 Branchland Court is potentially lost either to the fire or to the water used to put it out.

==What This Means For Chris==
In an email, Chris claimed he and his mother are staying in a hotel until the house is repaired.

Template:Quote of the now

2014-01-11T07:35:31Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

{{quote|FIRE! 2:00 AM. 911 arrived ten minutes later. Did everything they could; started downstairs; bathroom; electrical; made it to the roof. Considering EVERYTHING, but my mom, both dogs, me, and Lucy and my iPhone, shoes, clothes, whatnot on our backs made it out... Considered physically lost.|Chris on [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27_House|the fire at his house]]}}
<noinclude>

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible, the exact source is referenced, and use links appropriately. '''Be sure to cite where this quote comes from, include a link if applicable.''' Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. Finally, don't add commentary to citation part - let Chris's words do the talking.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

14 Branchland Court

2014-01-11T07:20:13Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
<center>{{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}</center>
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]}}

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]] is the lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], his mother [[Barbara]], [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], [[Clover and Snoopy]] and the surviving [[Chandler cats]]. It is a white (now faded to ivory) two-story house trimmed in pink (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park, and nestled in a lower middle class suburban community. Built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done since [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref>, the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. His mother has threatened to kick him out of the house if he tries to throw away her worthless junk.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]], it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested, and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before his death from heart disease.

On 10 January 2014, Chris claimed the house [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27_House|was destroyed following an electrical shortage.]] Chris, Barb, the dogs, Lucy, and other possessions made it out safely, but the state of the of the house and the family's possessions is (as of 11 January) considered unknown.

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth (24 February [[1982]]) until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in fall [[1992]], Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. In [[100 2178|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}
In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of junk that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

===First floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the [[music]] room", which is primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

===Second floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax (and Bob, when he was still with us) never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.
{{clear}}

===Yard===
The Chandlers' yard consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]]. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where [[Bob]] would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her [[Father Call|5-10 ton doghouse]] still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being lazy, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start his [[Love Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[February 2012]], the yard has been completely obscured by trash, junked cars, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|God knows what else]]. From the street one could barely stand the smell and only the bravest of Ruckersville's citizens dare to venture past.

In 2013, a troll passing Chris's house in his car uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwZKGe4BOSE a video], showing the front yard almost completely covered by an overgrown lawn, in addition to the above.

==The Tour II: Electric Hedgehog Boogaloo==

In 2013, a [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|video was leaked]] by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris' home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say ''(especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012)'', the house has become even ''more'' of a mess since then. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess- the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that ever so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his Ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his mother some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' (now that Bob kicked it, his mother's) mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that his parents have read some of the letters and ignored them).

==Visiting==
[[File:House-fail-bursting-at-the-seams.jpg|thumb|The eventual future of 14 Branchland Court.]]

Visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and promptly trades the deed to a troll for some magic beans so said troll can found the "Christian Weston Chandler Museum of Fail", are ill-advised. While a troll who does manage to make it to the front door will probably not be assaulted by Chris, they will most likely face Chris as he calls for his elderly mother to fight his battle or perform a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].

To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==Gallery==
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BranchlandCourt1.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt2.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt3.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt4.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt5.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

Destruction Of Chris' House

2014-01-11T07:08:26Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Destruction of Property */

Destruction Of Chris' House

2014-01-11T07:06:41Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

Destruction Of Chris' House

2014-01-11T06:36:54Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

Destruction Of Chris' House

2014-01-11T05:44:44Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

Template:Da update

2014-01-11T05:13:16Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*10 [[January 2014]] - [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's home]] [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27_House|sustains major structural damage]] in an early-morning house fire.
*4 [[January 2014]] - Chris posts on [[January_2014_Facebook_Posts#Nuzlocke|Facebook]] about Pokemon, rants against the [[trolls]] and the [[CWCki]]. He also claims to [[obesity|weigh 202 pounds]].
*3 January 2014 - Chris reviews [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his church]] on [[Facebook]]. He gives the church five stars and says that "the church is full of kind people who have a sense of care for others, UNLIKE the rest of Charlottesville, VA and Ruckersville, VA, who are snobbish, unfriendly and uncaring." This may suggest that Chris has begun regularly attending church again.
*31 [[December 2013]] - Chris posts ''"Here's to another year in this dead-end life with the worst broken heart ever"'', comparing himself to [[Futurama|1999-Fry]] on [[December_2013_Facebook_posts#Worst_Broken_Heart_Ever|Facebook]].
*30 December 2013 - Chris calls himself a "constant, zombie-like, blank" on [[December_2013_Facebook_posts#Chris_is_lost|Facebook]].
*23 December 2013 - Chris posts about controversial [[Twitter]] user Justine Sacco's [[dreams|sticky dream]] about an [[autism|autistic]] kid.
* 22 December 2013 - A user on [[4-cent garbage.com|/v/]] may have discovered Chris's Miiverse account, meaning that he bought a Wii U.
*21 December 2013 - Chris posts on Facebook looking for [[Pokémon]] Safari friends.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Love Quest

2014-01-10T03:14:04Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Megan Schroeder */

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}

{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}

[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]

The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. He has [[Facebook|claimed]] to have enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity. However, as with other [[Honor roll|achievements Chris claims to possess]], it is still the subject of debate.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_does_not_regret_the_Meganporn_and_claims_drawing_it_helped_prevent_him_raping_her]]</ref> Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Side Quest Completed==

On 12 April 2012, the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

Given the short time it took for them to meet and do the nasty (in ''her'' room, no less), her comparing him to her last partner and [[Lie|telling him what he wants to hear]] about his [[Duck|dick]], and the extremely telling fact that Chris does not consider her a sweetheart (saying his 'sweetheart-to-be' will find out about this), it seems rather plausible. In retrospect, it makes a [[Hooker_incident|certain statement]] he made to a certain [[Clyde Cash|troll]] all the more hilarious, where he states that him getting a hooker would not be the ideal way for his "Love Quest" to end.

Considering Chris's [[Lie|track record for telling the truth, however...]]

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Love Quest

2014-01-10T02:58:34Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: They're not hedgehogs. >:(

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}

{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}

[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]

The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. He has [[Facebook|claimed]] to have enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity. However, as with other [[Honor roll|achievements Chris claims to possess]], it is still the subject of debate.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her. Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Side Quest Completed==

On 12 April 2012, the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

Given the short time it took for them to meet and do the nasty (in ''her'' room, no less), her comparing him to her last partner and [[Lie|telling him what he wants to hear]] about his [[Duck|dick]], and the extremely telling fact that Chris does not consider her a sweetheart (saying his 'sweetheart-to-be' will find out about this), it seems rather plausible. In retrospect, it makes a [[Hooker_incident|certain statement]] he made to a certain [[Clyde Cash|troll]] all the more hilarious, where he states that him getting a hooker would not be the ideal way for his "Love Quest" to end.

Considering Chris's [[Lie|track record for telling the truth, however...]]

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

A-Logs

2014-01-10T00:56:58Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Justifications for trolling Chris */

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done.|A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves, and therefore is looked down upon by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

It was notable that Chris had done quite a lot of horrible deeds in his life - be it [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|cursing his former potential sweetheart Megan Schroeder for trolling him]] (which of course, she obviously didn't) or [[28 October 2011|running over Michael Snyder with his car]]. This motivated the A-Loggers to ironically wish him death and curse him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with romance, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of nearly 6 million Jews, plus about 5 million non-Jewish civilians in the years before and during World War II.<ref>[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/36qs.html 36 Questions & Answers About the Holocaust]</ref> For the most part, Chris is just a gullible idiot who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day were the result of his mother's influence, non-existent driving skills, and sheer blind panic rather than outright malevolence.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction. In addition to this, the charm of watching Chris is his eternal struggle against a nonexistent enemy. Committing actual violence would only legitimize Chris's victim complex.

====Chris's [[Chris and race|racism]] and [[Homos|homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication, though he shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> In short, Chris is ''not'' the Westboro Baptist Church- he is not involved in massive campaigns against homosexuals using inflammatory language or protests, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Duck|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna [[wikipedia:Mass Transit incident (professional wrestling)|destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!]]|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|Mostly because I was hoping the video would end with him getting shot dead. by the [[Ruckersville]] [[Jerkops|police]]. You can imagine how disappointed I am to find him still alive and kicking when the video is over.|CKO92 on YouTube reacting over [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Chris's recent video]].}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account- comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]], and '''advocating genocide.'''}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? Hey, Chris? Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the [[medallion]] or shove it up your butt: make your choice. Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. |[[Bluespike]].}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

A-Logs

2014-01-10T00:56:07Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Justifications for trolling Chris */

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done.|A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves, and therefore is looked down upon by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

It was notable that Chris had done quite a lot of horrible deeds in his life - be it [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|cursing his former potential sweetheart Megan Schroeder for trolling him]] (which of course, she obviously didn't) or [[28 October 2011|running over Michael Snyder with his car]]. This motivated the A-Loggers to ironically wish him death and cursing him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with romance, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of nearly 6 million Jews, plus about 5 million non-Jewish civilians in the years before and during World War II.<ref>[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/36qs.html 36 Questions & Answers About the Holocaust]</ref> For the most part, Chris is just a gullible idiot who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day were the result of his mother's influence, non-existent driving skills, and sheer blind panic rather than outright malevolence.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction. In addition to this, the charm of watching Chris is his eternal struggle against a nonexistent enemy. Committing actual violence would only legitimize Chris's victim complex.

====Chris's [[Chris and race|racism]] and [[Homos|homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication, though he shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> In short, Chris is ''not'' the Westboro Baptist Church- he is not involved in massive campaigns against homosexuals using inflammatory language or protests, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Duck|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna [[wikipedia:Mass Transit incident (professional wrestling)|destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!]]|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|Mostly because I was hoping the video would end with him getting shot dead. by the [[Ruckersville]] [[Jerkops|police]]. You can imagine how disappointed I am to find him still alive and kicking when the video is over.|CKO92 on YouTube reacting over [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Chris's recent video]].}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account- comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]], and '''advocating genocide.'''}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? Hey, Chris? Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the [[medallion]] or shove it up your butt: make your choice. Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. |[[Bluespike]].}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

A-Logs

2014-01-10T00:55:26Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: You can't really "do" an event.

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto was a YouTube commentator known for his commentaries on Chris's videos and harshly criticizing Chris while having many faults similar to Chris himself.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question, the title and thumbnail is quite enough, thank you very much.]]

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes to what [[Chris-Chan|Chris]] has done.|A-Log, and an example of A-Logging}}

{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging" and not about the person A-Log, so stop putting too many A-Log references until this turns into an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article about A-Log himself.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe the practice of those who follow Chris who wish to inflict harm upon him, often physical, and often for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. Those who follow this practice are known as '''A-Logs'''. A-Logs are an opposite extreme to [[white knights]], whereas white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is beneath contempt and deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to and then some. While once fashionable, it has become a view associated with people who wish to "trollshield" themselves, and therefore is looked down upon by the greater CWC community.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]] commentator who is known for providing commentary on Chris's videos, and often goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) and wishes harm to be inflicted on him. However, A-Log is notorious for being known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because of his poorly-written erotic fanfiction, his radio show, his awkward interviews at WolfDork.com etc. It was this practice, among other things (including his own similarities to Chris himself), that led to A-Log becoming a trolling subject himself, and the inspiration of this very page.

==Motivations==
There are a few motivations which are common in A-Logs, as they are the motivations behind the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. As a result, some people justify trolling him by arguing that he ''is'', in fact, a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. One common argument is that "Chris gives [[autism|autistics]] a bad name." Others will appeal to his [[Chris and race|debatable racism]], [[homos|homophobia]], or [[Women's rights|sexism]] as excuses to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

It was notable that Chris had done quite a lot of horrible deeds in his life - be it [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|cursing his former sweetheart Megan Schroeder for trolling him]] (which of course, she obviously didn't) or [[28 October 2011|running over Michael Snyder with his car]]. This motivated the A-Loggers to ironically wish him death and cursing him.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, those who "A-Log" do so to "trollshield" or avoid becoming troll victims as well. These people tend to have many traits in common with Chris - they too are autistic, still live at home beyond an appropriate age, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, have trouble with romance, or are fixated on childish things. Some are perhaps even worse off than Chris. However, A-Logs will argue that they are "at least not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them themselves. Often times, as in the case of the original A-Log this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolls.

==Arguments against A-Logs==

While Chris is far from perfect, there are those who believe that he is not exactly deserving of harm or extreme abuse that A-Logs would call for. This is reminiscent of the divided opinions in regards to [[BlueSpike]] and his style of trolling, with many disapproving of his extreme methods, but some who want a return to those more sadistic times.

===Chris is not Hitler===
Chris is not an utterly despicable person who is guilty of "crimes" that must be punished. Hitler was responsible for the death of nearly 6 million Jews, plus about 5 million non-Jewish civilians in the years before and during World War II.<ref>[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/36qs.html 36 Questions & Answers About the Holocaust]</ref> For the most part, Chris is just a gullible idiot who spends his time playing [[video games|vidya]]. While he ''is'' quite prone to [[Chris and anger|rage]] and has a noted tendency to threaten people with violence and [[death threats|death]], it is generally understood that Chris is not competent enough to actually carry out any threats. There are only a few notable events in [[Sonichu_8|Sonichu]] and [[Sonichu_10|CWCville]] where Chris's fictional actions are violent. The October 2011 GAMe PLACe incident also seems to portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day were the result of his mother's influence, non-existent driving skills, and sheer blind panic rather than outright malevolence.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref>

===Legal Liability===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or any other possible charges that could be filed against someone). Whatever feelings a person may have against Christian Weston Chandler, there is no legal defense for someone taking the law into their own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction. In addition to this, the charm of watching Chris is his eternal struggle against a nonexistent enemy. Committing actual violence would only legitimize Chris's victim complex.

====Chris's [[Chris and race|racism]] and [[Homos|homophobia]]====
While his views on race and homosexuality are not politically correct, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. Chris's discomfort for black people, while not politically correct, is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been picking on and applying stereotypes to the black kids who defeated him in card games at [[The GAMe PLACe]], as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately believes to be Jewish. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication, though he shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris shows great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only does so when Lars gives him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting Surf Shack Tito on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is meant to be of Hawaiian descent. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> Once again, it is likely that Chris has been exposed to this word and chooses to repeat it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to African-Americans.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, Chris is a rather ordinary person who is discomforted by homosexuals. Chris's father is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals as Chris has had very little friendly interaction with anyone, never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> In short, Chris is ''not'' the Westboro Baptist Church- he is not involved in massive campaigns against homosexuals using inflammatory language or protests, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington.

====The tugboat====
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[tugboat|taxpayer]] money. What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn’t Chris who applied for social security disability; it was [[Bob|his father]] who applied for Chris and it was he who convinced Chris that he would make more off of disability than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn’t have any say in the matter because Bob held all the purse strings when it came to Chris having food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn’t Chris get off his “lazy butt and earn his keep”? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Loggers simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn’t Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given Chris’s rather infamous reputation by people who have documented every unsavory aspect of his life, it would be more likely than not by taking someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has extremely strong networking and connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a skeptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully finding and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of [[28 October 2011]] which may deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "kick his ass" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of "street smarts" or common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He still insists that he's had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and doesn't find it curious that they suddenly die or disappear. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid the trolls===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who are following Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than I am".

But these traits, in itself, ''don't'' make you trollable. They ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but it's an altogether different matter how you respond to that ridicule. You may give the people who laugh at you a mature response – laugh along with them at your own admitted faults, or just let the unwarranted criticism be what it is. Trolls certainly aren't interested in productive debate.

''Or'' you can be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll under lucricities, which is exactly what the trolls want.

Most people can recognize their own faults and try to cope with them. Chris cannot.

==Examples==
{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Duck|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna [[wikipedia:Mass Transit incident (professional wrestling)|destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!]]|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos.}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's videos, referring to [[Bob Chandler]]'s death.}}

{{quote|Mostly because I was hoping the video would end with him getting shot dead. by the [[Ruckersville]] [[Jerkops|police]]. You can imagine how disappointed I am to find him still alive and kicking when the video is over.|CKO92 on YouTube reacting over [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Chris's recent video]].}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow [[Autism|autistics]] and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account- comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]], and '''advocating genocide.'''}}

{{quote|Fucking Chris Chan. I hate this guy, sucks to have [[autism]] and ppl think you're like him|[[789chan|/cwc/]]}}

{{quote|For those of you who never heard of this fella, Chrischan is a twenty-nine year old [[Autism|"highly functioning autistic"]] who is really a brain dead and delusional manchild. I am a austic myself and I feel ashamed about this jackass reenforcing a negative stereotype on austics and going out of his way to make normal autistics like myself look bad.|GearsX, in his "Chrischan Rant Quickie" DeviantArt Journal.}}

{{quote|Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? Hey, Chris? Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the [[medallion]] or shove it up your butt: make your choice. Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. |[[Bluespike]].}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://logattopedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page Logattopedia]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth on Alogging.]

[[Category: Trolling]]

Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)

2014-01-08T00:36:34Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

:''This article is about Chris's imaginary twin sister. For Chris's imaginary future daughter, see [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]].''
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure or even [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issue]] with seeing himself as an attractive female. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, and the perfect daughter so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[incest]].

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same super powers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

==In the comic==
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|right|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris is ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called [[Crystalina Rosechu]]. When she and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form [[Chris-Chan Pure]] and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Personality-wise, Crystal is a bland, stereotypical girl, who [[Women's rights|overindulges in girly stuff]] such as shopping and perfume. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same striped shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris as "Christopher" instead of "Christian".
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the Moon-Pals.
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Megan Schroeder

2014-01-07T23:21:12Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Rule 34 and The End of Megan */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}
{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against Megan, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Bob]], [[Barb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]].

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]]; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of eBay.

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to get rid of Chris, saying that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of [[china]].

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') quickly made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own [[homo|lesbian]] furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[animu]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did [[retcon]] a couple pages to tone them down.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost, [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]

{{quote|And, by the way, is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] <ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man war [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering a girl]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring. In the end.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED</ref>

Evidence suggested that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]].

Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and some [[homos]]exuals to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another female Caucasian brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, February 18, 2012}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On April 4, [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20, 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Megan. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen (although it can be reasonably predicted what Chris will [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|do]] if anyone actually does show up.)

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings is quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]<ref>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|Yoshimitsu
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Lego - 24 September 2013.jpeg|Lego minifig
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Manajerks

2014-01-07T21:42:35Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: Already mentioned.

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:B-manajerk_real.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions.]]

'''Manajerks''' (a [[Wikipedia:Portmanteau|portmanteau]] of "manager" and "[[jerk]]") are villains featured in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], most prominently in the [[Sub-Episodes]], who regularly antagonize [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic book counterpart]]. They are based on a multitude of real life store managers who all threw Chris out of their places of business for being a creepy stalker during his [[Love Quest]]. In the comic, the manajerks are all super powered agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], whom Chris and his team of recolors regularly have to defeat.

==Origins==
Chris coined the term in [[CWC's Diary]] to describe the two Charlottesville [[Wal-Mart]] managers who confronted him on 22 June 2005. He has since used it in reference to other perceived enemies, including the managers of his local [[Target]], the management of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], [[Michael Snyder]], and another Wal-Mart manager who ejected him from the chain's Ruckersville location in the summer of 2013.

==Manajerks in real life==
Real-life manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers," are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a [[Chris|patron]] who loiters in [[Target|the workplace]], purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be [[Chris and health|unwilling to shower]] and had numbers of pairs of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|dirty crapped briefs]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold [[Attraction Sign|a sign]] expressing his desire for [[Sex|intimate relations]] with young white women, it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron [[autistic|crude and bizarre]]. In situations like these, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes [[Chris and negotiation|unresponsive or difficult]], the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkops|proper authorities]] to have him escorted (forcibly, if need be) from the premises.

==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''==
In the pages of ''Sonichu'', manajerks, like [[jerkops]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|college deans]], [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are all tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing [[video games]], building [[Heart Torch of Fail|crude sculptures]] with [[Pixelblocks]], and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local [[GameStop]]),<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the manajerks and jerkops as operatives of the same [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Chris-hating team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-[[virgin]], anti-[[autistic]], etc.

Though Chris has depicted manajerks numerous times in the comics, not much is actually known about how they operate. Unlike jerkops, who have known to target any and all lovers in the city of [[CWCville]] during their invasions,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_25</ref> the manajerks seem to target Chris and only Chris. This would seem to make them appear to be assassins of a sort, but Chris is only ever seen being attacked by them while in stores, such as [[Target]], [[Wal-Mart]] or [[McDonalds]], which may instead suggest that the manajerks really are store managers, but they just happen to be evil love-hating footsoldiers of PVCC as well. Following the revelation in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] that all the manajerks were brainwashed just like the jerkops were, this seems most likely.

Of note however, is that Chris refers to all the stores where these confrontations take place by a comic book alias. In the comic, he isn't getting thrown out of [[Fashion Square Mall]]; he's fighting in the ''Fa-Square'', of the ''Sho-Mall Region''. Target is similarly referred to as the Get-Tar Region and Wal-Mart is the Mal-Wart Region and the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart became M-C-D-Ville. The manajerks are shown to reside in and possibly rule over these regions, as [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] refers to manajerk [[ScotPalazzo]] as having "banned all virgins from his region", which seems to suggest that the manajerks were not restricted to just being soldiers, but were more like war lords. This of course raises the question however, of how bad things have to be in [[CWCville]] that terrorists are able to take over whole shopping complexes and declare ownership of them.

===B-Manajerk===
[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Based on a True Story.]]

B-Manajerk was a manajerk first featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. To date, he is one of the only villains that Chris has ever been able to defeat single-handedly, as almost every other one-on-one fight Chris has ever had in the comics inevitably ended with him getting beaten half to death [[Chris and writing|until he was saved by another character]]. Not much is known about the B-Manajerk, not even his real name. What little we do know comes from Chris's own records of their encounters, as described below. If Chris's accounts are anything to go by, The B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart Chris got kicked out of, or else a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic". One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonald's, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with [[Pixelblocks]]. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

{{quote|June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Niggos|Black]], [[Obesity|Fat]] Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love Quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Extract from [[CWC's Diary]]}}

The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonald's, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "[[Mal-Wart]] Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the [[Jerkhief]], as Chris describes in his journal entry. He is also armed with a golden axe and a pair of large guns. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using [[Mecha-Jerkops]] on loan from the Jerkhief.

Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and the "[[anime wings]]" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the Wing Hat power-up from ''Super Mario 64''. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his [[Love Quest]] and the absolute necessity of his [[Attraction Sign]].

The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the [[Time Void]].

Contrary to popular belief, this was actually not the last anyone saw or heard of B-Manajerk and his partner however, like it was for so many others before them. Though he was never actually ''seen'' again, the B-Manajerk was mentioned during the events of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']]. Towards the end of the issue, whilst [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] return from the battle against [[Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]], they receive a psychic message from [[Magi-Chan]] informing them of the state of the battle. In the same textwall in which he announces the death of [[Ivy]] and the destruction of the [[Decepti-Clones]], he briefly mentions that B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic had somehow grown to a gigantic size and took part in the battle with the rest of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. The battle is never actually shown, but Magi-Chan assures Sonichu and the readers that they were defeated by the Kart Megazord owned by the CWC-[[Power Rangers]] and that the two of them were shrunk back to their original size. The Kart Megazord itself is briefly glimpsed in the background.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_93</ref>

This would be the last time the manajerks were ever seen or heard from in the comics. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris would use his [[Colossal Chan]] form to completely destroy PVCC and undo the brainwashing effect used to control all it's members. According to [[Mailbag 52]], this freed all the manajerks too. Chris later stated that the manajerks were cleared by the [[CWCville]] courts for their crimes, due to the fact that they couldn't help their actions at the time, but that they were depowered before being set free.{{cite}}

[[Chris and race|And yes, the "B" in "B-Manajerk" does stand for "black"]].<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref>

===Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby===
[[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|You're missing both your arms, you work in a [[McDonald's]], and you have the most embarrassing and incomprehensible name in the world. Obviously the answer is to go into supervillainy.]]

Merried Seinor Comic (not to be confused with the [[Giant Penis Comic]]) is possibly the most unfortunately named villain in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as one can't even figure out what words [[Chris]] was trying to write or what meaning they could possibly convey. The name of his real life counterpart, Kirby McDerbie, offers no insight into this strangeness. [[Trolls]] on [[Krapple|/cwc/]] have been speculating for as long as the character has been around, but no-one has ever been able to determine for sure what his name actually means, though some have guessed that Chris may have meant to say "Married Senior Comic".

The Merried Seinor Comic appeared for the first time in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']], helping the [[B-Manajerk]] in his opposition of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the McDuo of the City of [[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]] of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]]. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg]]</ref> In the comic, (no pun intended), Merried Seinor Comic was defeated in a sword fight by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], whilst Chris defeated his partner. In [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], which continues the two part story, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] arrives as back-up, but when he fails as well the McDuo flee the scene, with the Comic not seeming to even care about the recent loss of both his arms.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], the character appears at [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention, where he is even more inexplicably described as Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. This is the last time the character is seen, but as mentioned above, he did participate in the Battle of CWCville offscreen, becoming a giant along with the B-Manajerk and fighting the Kart Megazord. It is presumed that he was depowered and set free like the other manajerks after [[Collosal Chan]] reversed [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s brainwashing.

===W-M-Manajerk===
[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|Truly a [[Kick the Autistic|shining example]] to us all. But for W-M-Manajerk, it's an average day.]]

After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonalds, as was described above, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonalds, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|weeaboo magic spells]] at him. Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could; by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his [[Chris and reality|fantasy life]].

In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his [[ED]] page in [[March 2008]], he says he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from Sub-Episode 5 of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-Chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be physically disabled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

The W-M-Manajerk character first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In the comic, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]] at the end of Sub-Episode 4. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on [[Wikipedia:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]] in the ''[[Futurama]]'' episode "A Head in the Polls". This episode featured Nixon as a similarly built robot with a head in a jar. The concept of a head in a jar is hardly unique to ''Futurama'', but it is a show beloved by Chris and virtually nothing he draws hasn't been at least loosely based off an already existing character.

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would. Just as Chris begins to lose hope though, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to Crystal, whom he had previously drawn on one of his home-made [[Yu-gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] respectively, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, were agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] lead by [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the head-jar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC.

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is actually pretty damn strong. It survives several attacks from both Chris and Crystal, and appeared to possess super-strength, being able to effortlessly lift [[Obesity|the very heavy]] Chris high above its head, and was also able to punch him with sufficient strength to send him flying backwards into a soda fountain. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking, even upon collision with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s head. It can be assumed that the head-jar also acted as a kind of life support system.

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Rosechu]] could probably beat him up now.

===ScotPalazzo===
[[Image:SchuComic8Page36.jpg|thumb|left|170px|ScotPalazzo: a villain who has an uncanny talent of unnaturally bending his arms around tables at 90 degree angles.]]

The only man on the planet to spell his first and last name without a space, and possibly the first manajerk Chris encountered, ScotPalazzo was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the "Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until [[Sub-Episode 6]], when he expressed envy of Chris for his made-up TV show ''CWC's Backyard Safari''. Scot was clearly designed to resemble [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Lord Il Palazzo]] from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and he is depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love itself for his mother's murder-suicide.

Whether or not the real Scot Palazzo suffered such a traumatic life as his comic counterpart, the fictional Scot remained one of the only villains in the series to give any kind of reason for his actions. [[Wes Iseli]] was motivated by jealousy, Mary gave reasons for her own war on love in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s motivation was existentialism, and then there was Scot. Despite being one of the few villains to actually have motivation to do all the crazy super-villain shit the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] gets up to however, he never actually ''does'' anything. In his debut appearance, he hires more [[jerkops]] to take down Chris, but he never gets any kind of [[comeuppance]] for this and he never fights any of the heroes. He cameos again in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] at the council of villains, and his character description says that he banned all [[virgin]]s from his region, but this is all he has ever been seen to do. In many ways, he is more like an actual manager than any of the other manajerks on this page.

His given motivation conflicts with later revelations that all PVCC members, including the manajerks, were really just brainwashed slaves of Mary Lee Walsh. [[Colossal Chan]]'s power supposedly undid all brainwashing, and Chris's statements on the subject claimed that all the manajerks were cleared of everything. Presumably this can be taken to mean that Scot was also a victim, and that his jaded personality was reverted to whatever he was like prior to Mary's effect.

===Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)===
[[File:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|Behold, the two most harmless villains in the series.]]

The last of the manajerks to be introduced, the duo of Turdijerk and his accomplice Trebor Capman first appeared in Sub-Episode 7 in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], where they confronted Chris in the Get-Tar Region. The episode was based on an incident that occurred in real life at a newly opened [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] store in Chris's area. Attempting to start fresh in new [[Attraction location|prowling grounds]], Chris planned to pay a single dollar to receive a soda at their snack bar and exploit their free refill policy to keep refilling that same soda over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned officer [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until their later cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. In their initial appearance, the two manajerks walk up to Chris at his table and tell him that he was loitering and had to get out. Even in his idealized fantasy world where Chris whitewashes everything he does, the comic version of Chris is indeed loitering, and he also initially ignores the two managers trying to talk to him. Upon noticing them, he screams, and then somehow summons a tornado to blow them both away. It should be noted at this point that these two manajerks did not actually attack Chris, or even threaten him, meaning Chris just [[Chris and the Law|assaulted two unarmed normal humans for telling him to leave their store]].

The names of the characters are puzzling. [[Trolls]] speculate that Trebor Capman might actually be an alias for someone called ''Robert'' Capman, given Chris's love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]], and while the origin of Turdijerk's name is somewhat more ambiguous, the two most common theories are that the name was either derived from a stereotype of the Indian accent, (as the character has a vaguely South Asian appearance and his real life counterpart is probably the same), or that the name "Turdijerk" is merely Chris's [[Random-access humor|juvenile sense of humor]] and a way to insult the real life manager by giving him a nickname that sounds like "turd".

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|[[Soul Calibur|Video game recreation]].
Image:Manajerks.jpg|Getting decapitated only pissed him off.
Image:MSCsavestheday.png|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|procreating]].
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]]
*[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]]
*[[Target|Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Amanda]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Megan Schroeder

2014-01-07T05:28:49Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}
{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life.

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against Megan, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Bob]], [[Barb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]].

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]]; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of eBay.

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to get rid of Chris, saying that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of [[china]].

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') quickly made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own [[homo|lesbian]] furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[animu]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did [[retcon]] a couple pages to tone them down.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost, [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]

{{quote|And, by the way, is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris, stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]], [[CWC's Second Message]]}}

In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man war [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering a girl]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring. In the end.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED</ref>

Evidence suggested that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]].

Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and some [[homos]]exuals to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another female Caucasian brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, February 18, 2012}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On April 4, [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20, 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Megan. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen (although it can be reasonably predicted what Chris will [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|do]] if anyone actually does show up.)

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings is quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]<ref>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|Yoshimitsu
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Lego - 24 September 2013.jpeg|Lego minifig
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]

Talk:The GAMe PLACe

2014-01-07T04:43:52Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

==To do==
*Chris's comments on his days at the Game Place
*why he got banned
*picture that was taken at Game Place

The Mimms & Lucas Q&A posts are on CWCki now, link there instead of linking the entire text of the posts in the Sauces.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:20, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

While it's good to acknowledge that the information came from the Q&A posts, it's crucial to post EXACTLY which post so 1) people do not have to read all the posts just to read one, 2) to see the context Lucas and Mimms were answering these questions and allow the reader to draw a conclusion based on their responses as they were originally presented.

Yes, the Q&A page needs some sub-headings to allow for direct citations so fix that and then start directly citing posts. Srsly guys, I expect a bit better. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Novices==

Does anyone else think that before going behind the counter the manager Micheal Schnider probably wanted to get rid of him due to his attitude towards the younger players there. Since he was complaining he got paired up with novices when he was a volunteer "gym leader", which back when there was a TCG league in my town the UK(6-8 years ago) I can remember it was part of "gym leaders" responsibilities to assist members of the TCG league and teach them the rules and such.

It would be bad for store if they had a slight figure of authority(Chris) there being a jerkass to the younger children who want to learn how to play the card game better. Knowing Chris he was probably battling the newcomers and rather than practice battles where you would guide them step by step on an equal level(e.g. In his position I would have an extra,weaker deck like a starter deck so I don't win regardless and not play to my best ability) he probably used his best deck and played all-out, discouraging newer players.([[User:Drlugae|Drlugae]] 22:10, 18 March 2009 (CET))

:As he considers 8 year olds to be equal competition, I'd say that would be correct yes. Him going behind the counter was probably the straw that broke the camels back more than anything. But we'll see if they want him back or not.--[[User:UncleBastard|UncleBastard]] 22:18, 18 March 2009 (CET)
* That could be a factor, but I think the main reason they got rid of him was because he was acting as an employee. He thought he could get behind the counter and do shit, while he was actually just being used as a gym guy. Being an ass to kids isn't really a reason to ban people, but I do think you are right to some extent. I wouldn't want Chris having any power in my cardshop if I owned one...

- Besides that, the fact he took his mom to the store to question people must have really ticked michael off. He was also starting to use hard-core lines against Mimms, like "that's something you didn't know about this Chan before, right?" Game-shop employees are usually underpayed and quite sad, so I don't think they want to have to deal with autistic shit like this...[[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 22:23, 18 March 2009 (CET)

== Arguing with kids ==

I'm really curious about this argument Chris had with these kids. The details are a little vague at the moment. [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 10:00, 14 November 2009 (CET)
*I don't think it was one time, just a general pattern of Chris arguing. Anyone with a PVCC account, start posting the Q&As from that thread with Lucas and Mimms onto [[Lucas and Mimms Q&A|this page]]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:07, 14 November 2009 (CET)

=="The Wii Incident==

Isn't it possible that this is just something we don't know about yet? It's nice to think we know it all, but it's possible that Mimms simply wasn't there when some shit went down. I think we should mark this as an assumption at best, until we can gat some concrete evidence from either Chris or the Jew that this is authentic. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:37, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*the issue with asking Snyder is that he may not divulge that information, though I am kinda interested in knowing what the said incident was, [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 17:17, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==About the Owner==

Unless the owner is directly involved in one of Chris's antics, he got no place being here in this wiki. Any info about him (real or not) will be removed in the sake of clarity. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:58, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:It's rather ironic that Chris is accused of being a "child pornographer" in front of this game store that just so happens to be owned and operated by a registered sex offender. --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Prove it. Do you have a picture of the owner in the store fitting the one found in the police directory? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:13, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Lightburn's work address and THE GAME PLACe are in the same location. He's right. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 17:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::No shit :-P --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:23, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: Okay. How this is directly related to Chris? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:26, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::It's not relevant at all, we don't give Megan's address, or the Wallflower's name for a reason, also he hasn't had anything to do with Chris,given that Shylock and Lucas/Mimms are the only one's who ve made Chris's videos, so it's totally irrelevant. Go start your own CWCikitruth if you want to bitch about it being otherwise-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:31, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::Well, first of all, one could see this article as one big advertisement for The Game Place. Not saying it necessarily is, but I've seen many posts about people taking trips to c-ville in order to view the Chris-related sites. Also, not really a justification, Michael Snyder has implied that Chris was being a child molester and was trying to take pictures of kids. Kind of funny that his boss just happens to have been caught in a police sting where he tried to meet up with a 14 year old girl. I'm not necessarily saying that this needs to or should be here but I'm bored. Sue me. :-P --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:44, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: This article doesn't frame things any diffrently than how we do with the other location ones: we wouldn't give a fuck if B-Manajerk IRL was a convicted felon; he has nothing to do with Chris that's worth noting, apart from having kicked him out. If it's stuff about others, whether Schroeder or Lightburn, it doesn't belong in this site, we aren't doing a Charlottesville wiki you know. Also maybe if you'd tried talking first we might have been more apt to listen to you.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 18:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*In the same vein as Griffintown, [[CWCki:NOTED|We're not ED]] or for that matter, /cwc/. We don't give a shit if The GAMe PLACe's owner is a kiddie piddler, it has no relevance to the article. We're focused on Chris, not the antics of others. Also, sins of the father shall not be passed onto the son, etc. We don't approve of that shit here but it's not really our place to call it out unless Chris is involved. It's like adding all the shit [[George W. Bush]] has done (cocaine use, etc.) to his article when it's absolutely pointless. Leave that shit for /cwc/.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:35, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Take a chill pill guise. It isn't that big of a deal. If you guys are gonna make a big fuss I guess I'll just go back to vandalizing userpages. Like I said, I'm bored right now. Would anyone want to join my DDO party? --[[User:Meenween|Meenween]] 18:50, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

Okay, that one guy keeps making new accounts to add that shit to the article. Can we please lock it until he goes away? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 23:10, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Please do. I'm sick of reverting his edits.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:20, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Lock this page ==

I don't understand why this hasn't been already done. Seriously, the recent changes page is spammed with trying to undo all the vandalism. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:55, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

==So anyway==
Now that the GAMe PLACe has become relevant again and Chris had built a conspiracy theory around it being the trolling hub and a ploy for the owner to molest children, I'm thinking this article needs an overhaul. Anyone else want to do it, or should I? --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 03:39, 10 August 2011 (PDT)
*I agree, it needs to be put in here some how that Chris believes some pretty awful things about his ol' favorite store. It should also probably be mentioned that if the Ban was lifted, he'd probably still go back there... I'd do it, but I have no idea how we should go about adding this tidbit of information. Do we just want to add another section? Or just try to shove this bit in some where?? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 10:21, 22 August 2011 (PDT)

==Flyers==
Looking at the February Facebook leaks, it would appear that Chris has taken a 10% off coupon for the game place, added messages to it encouraging people to avoid the store, made several copies and is distributing them at his usual hangouts...Should something about this be added to the article? There's a post by chris about it as well as an image of the edited flyer here: http://sonichu.com/w/images/3/34/Chfb3.png For that matter, should the game place be informed? (I'm not sure if we really want chris to get put in jail here since it'd stop the comedic output)
Pretty insane that he's still doing shit like this when he has an outstanding court case for his actions against them.--[[User:IThrewTheFrisbee|IThrewTheFrisbee]] 17:20, 29 February 2012 (PST)

==Name Change==
The article says that the store's "currently named Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys."

Any indication that this is because of its online association with Chris as The GAMe PLACe, which would be lulzy as hell?
--[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 20:43, 6 January 2014 (PST)

July 2014

2014-01-06T02:08:47Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

The seventh month of the year. This will also be the month when Barabra's probation ends.

==Events of July==
*11 July - [[Barbara]]'s two year long probation will end today.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Fridays After Five

2014-01-06T00:38:21Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* 18 June Sighting */

{{Quote|they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their gross, uncool amusement.|Chris, referring to the trolls at FA5.<ref>[http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016]</ref>}}

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|140px|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]].]]

'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert series that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. In [[June 2010]] [[Chris]] was video-recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run on [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010. Chris first alludes to his knowledge of Fridays after Five in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]], in which he stands outside the Charlottesville Pavilion and mentions how [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play there every Friday night.

== 18 June Sighting==
{{-}}
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|thumb|185px|right|Chris attempting to dance. Note the man in the foreground shaking his head in disbelief/disgust.]]

On 18 June 2010, Chris went to one of these events and a [[troll|good Samaritan]] ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public.

According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point, Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write [[Love Quest|"WANT WOMAN!"]] on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman." This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]] - with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.

== 9 July Sighting ==
[[File:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|right|Tell me why I'm stuck in a sad lonely cage..]]
On 9 July, the troll who spotted Chris on [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting|Independence Day]] spotted him again. According to the troll, Chris had unscrewed the zoom lens from his DSi and was using it as a rudimentary telescope by pressing it up to his eye.

{{quotebox|
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point.}}

This time, the troll managed to take a picture of Chris, who appears to be wearing three [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers of Fail]]. Two are red and white, and a custom painted one is barely visible underneath his arm. He also has what looks like a small bottle of hand sanitizer tucked into his belt. Chris [[The GAMe PLACe|has been known]] to immediately follow up any handshake with using hand sanitizer on himself. Chris is also holding a [[Attraction Sign|small piece of paper]] between his legs in both photographs, proving even further that he hasn't learned a single thing in the past seven years.

Chris's response to this sighting, delusional as always:<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 3]]: E-mails sent around the time of the FAF sightings</ref>
{{quoteboxred|I lured out one last Friday at the Pavillion, obviously. I SHOULD have gone after him in pursuit, but the only plan I had programmed in my head in response is take their picture with my DSi. I have reprogrammed my mind to pursue after lure, yell for a policeman, and have him arrested for Taking Photographs at the Pavillion during Fridays After 5. On their Triangular, Red Column, they have a rules list, which includes, "No Cameras or Videotaping are Permitted". I am positive I'll lure out the same guy from Last Friday; I only got a brief look at his face, but I am positive I'd [[Blanca|recognize him on future sight]].}}

==16 July Sighting==
[[File:Manzone.jpg|thumb|right|Something like this.]]
On 16 July, a different troll managed to spot Chris at the park. While no photos were taken, the description given paints a very... ''unusual'' picture.

{{quotebox|This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell.}}

While the initial footage from June introduced the "WANT WOMAN!" bra as a sort of makeshift attraction sign, the most recent sighting reports a full-fledged return of an actual [[attraction sign]], albeit a very basic one.

The hula hoop is more puzzling. It's entirely possible that Chris brought it to add to the dance moves seen on this very page, but given Chris's [[Sonichu's Edge|abysmally low stamina]], [[obesity|corpulent physique]], and total lack of coordination or dancing ability, this seems like a very unusual choice. Another theory is that he used it to mark the boundaries of his "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone". He can be seen at the end of one of the videos "dancing", apparently looking at and drifting towards a girl using two hula hoops near the stage; whether this inspired him to bring one himself or not is a matter of speculation.

==Gallery==
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Preparing to put the moves on a [[gal-pal]].
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal-pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an eight-year-old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT, GODDAMN!!!
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
File:Fridayafterplan.png|CWC's Plan B.
File:FAF-06092010.jpg|From autistic trucker to dorkish plumber.
File:WantMan.jpg|CWC's [[Homos|Plan C]].
File:Hulahoop.png|Chris and the hula hoop.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Flipnote Hatena]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]]
* [[Pedofork]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download the Videos]</s> DELETED
* [http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Fridays After Five at the Charlottesville Pavilion]

== Sources ==
<references />

[[Category:Social life]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-18]]
[[Category:Field agent videos| 2010-06-18]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Events]]

Gal pal

2014-01-02T04:50:54Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Betrayal */

{{quote
|My circle of gal-pals was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for.
|Chris, [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]
}}

[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Kellie Andes]], Friend Brought Along, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], Sarah Bevel, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]

A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for a female friend. Chris claims to have had a lot of these in [[Manchester High School|high school]]. Since then, he has been lamenting over the lack of gal-pals for over a decade.

==Chris and gal-pals==

Chris said, "in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> He has always been hesitant towards making friends with males due to bad experiences with [[jerks]]. Perhaps because of this, he has adopted rather effeminate traits and mannerisms (such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position in the [[sex tape]], or having a collection of [[My Little Pony|My Little Ponys]]), ignorant to the fact that what might be acceptable for girls would be considered taboo for guys.

In typical Chris style, he has managed to drive every single gal-pal away. He believes that due to all his gal-pals, he had his pick of which to turn into his [[sweetheart]] and that he missed out on this opportunity during [[high school]], oblivious that they probably associated with him out of pity.

It is also interesting to note that he never refers to girls as "friends", only "gal-pals". Usually, this phrase is used by women when talking about their social clique. Only [[homos|gay]] men ever refer to female friends as "gal-pals", and even then, they're usually joking. Men talking about female companions will just say "friend", or "a girl who happens to be my friend" as opposed to a "girlfriend", because in English colloquy, the latter is implying a romantic relationship. The fact that Chris never thinks of girls around him as "friends" and repeatedly calls them "gal-pals" (which he probably thinks is cute, him being "one of the girls") reasserts his [[women's rights|sexism]]. He doesn't see the women in his life as equals and companions, he sees them as possible [[china]].

==Notable gal-pals==

* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]
* [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]
* [[Kellie Lyn Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]
* [[Anna McLerran]]
* [[Megan Schroeder]]
* [[Sarah Jackson]]
* [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]
* [[Ivy O'Neil]]
* [[Kacey Devoria]]
* [[The Wallflower]]
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]

==Other gal-pals==
===Tiffany Robinson===
'''Tiffany Robinson''' was a friend of Chris in the days he lived in [[Richmond]]. She was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days."

===Natasha Turner===
'''Natasha Turner''' was a friend Chris met at [[Providence Middle School]], and who was slightly older than him. He felt very fond of her, and they were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===
[[File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|thumb|'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' (in green, on the right) and '''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' (in black, next to her).]]
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' was Chris's classmate at [[Manchester High]]. She had a sweetheart there named Brian Smart. Chris recalls hearing that they broke up some time in the [[2000s]]. She married Justin Alan Ingram on 5 August [[2006]].<ref>[http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-12774799.html]</ref>

In a [[Facebook]] post of 12 September 2013, Chris lamented how Sarah claimed to have no longer known him, despite apparently being one of his "Closest Friends".<ref>https://i.imgur.com/pdioxYY.png</ref> On 19 November, Chris posted that it was Sarah who revealed the "hurtfullest truth" that his gal-pals were in fact "Hired Help."<ref>[[:File:ChrisHeart02.jpg]]</ref>

Recently, it appears that Sarah has discovered Chris's antics since high school. On December 19, [[2013]], [[Kellie Andes]] shared a link on her [[Facebook]] for Chris's [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]] video. Among those who commented on the link was Sarah, with the remark, "Ladies, look what we're missing. :P"<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3093</ref> Sarah also commented on a screenshot of Chris's [[Craigslist#Used Porn|Craigslist ad for used porn]] posted by Molly Quarles with the comment, "Well that explains a few things....." <ref>http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y505/bgheff/138736550810_zpsc03df10f.png</ref>

===Molly Quarles===
'''Molly Quarles''' was a cheerleader (the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio) during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. Chris recalls being matched up in a "dating match-up thing" they had every Valentines Day at Manchester High. According to Chris it was ''"the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then."''<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref> In October 2013, Chris was reported while trying to get back in touch with her via [[Facebook]] to see if her friendship too was only out of pity.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

It appears that, like [[Kellie Andes]] and Sarah Bevel, Molly has also discovered Chris's antics since high school. In December [[2013]], Molly discovered Chris's [[Craigslist#Used Porn|Craigslist ad for used porn]] and posted a screenshot to her [[Facebook]] account with the comment, "Eeeeeew! I didn't need that mental picture. What a creeper! :P"<ref>http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y505/bgheff/138736550810_zpsc03df10f.png</ref>

===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
'''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' was a girl with whom Chris shared a few classes. According to Chris, she was "a big brain of my Circle of Friends." Miranda, or "Maranda" as she was dubbed by Chris,<ref>[http://classic-web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm CWC's Pokésite 2!]</ref> helped our hero out in his early website creating days by redesigning the [[CWC's PokéSite 2!]] logo.

==Betrayal==
On 30 October, 2013, Chris [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|posted on Facebook]] about a recent discovery that all of his cherished gal-pals from [[Manchester High School]] had only put up with him out of pity for him.

{{quote
|I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a lost little boy. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to his 18th birthday party.
|[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|An e-mail from one of Chris's "friends"]]
}}

Of course, this comes as a surprise to no one except Chris, as the [[Anna_McLerran|vast]] [[Kim Wilson|majority]] [[Vivian_Gee|of]] his gal-pals have indeed been [[White_knight|white knights]] trying to protect him.

At the end of October, Chris, having just discovered the truth, demanded an apology for their kindness.

In December, his high-school gal-pals became aware of [[Media:Cwcbraorig.JPG|the picture of him wearing his mother's underwear]], [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|the Mount and Do Me oral sex video]], and a [[Craigslist#Used_Porn|a recent Craigslist ad]] where he put several dozen pornographic DVDs up for sale and posted negative comments about them on Facebook.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Heart level

2014-01-02T01:08:25Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: He described his as the worst broken heart ever on 12/31/13.

[[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|thumb|right|This happens all the time.]]
{{quote|100% Change the number to change your heart level and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.|[[CWCipedia]] template, describing how Chris felt in [[August 2009]].}}
{{quote|Actually, it is Moderate and Stable at the moment.|Chris, 17 [[May 2010]]}}
'''Heart level''' is Chris's measure of his emotional state. Because Chris has spent his life playing [[video games]] instead of socializing with actual people, he is only able to express his emotions in video game-inspired terms. It first appeared in [[Sonichu 1|Sub-Episode #2: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]] (where it hit its lowest recorded level, 15%) but he uses the term in general conversation as well.

Chris uses the word "shattered" [[Chris and English#Repetition|exclusively]] to describe his perpetually wounded heart level. He rarely uses the more common expression, "broken heart".

Heart level was also helpfully displayed on [[CWCipedia]] front page, as a diabolical variation of [[wikipedia:Template_talk:Wstress3d|Wikipedia's stress meters]]. Well...it ''would'' have been a diabolical variation, but apparently Chris was too lazy to change it, making it merely slightly lame. Despite leaving an obvious default placeholder message on the front page, he still felt comfortable showing this fantastic website to potential investors/employers.<ref>[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]</ref>

==References by Chris==
*In [[August 2004]], Chris drew his shattered heart as a trap card for his home made ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, as seen above. It would later reside with the others on the [[Wall of Originals]].
*[[CWC's Diary]] includes similar remarks on the Walsh encounter: "I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me!"
*[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]], finished in April [[2005]], features the illustrated heart level as part of Chris's tale of his ill-fated date with [[Hanna]].
*''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' includes a couple of complaints about heart-shattering in relation to the Walsh and Hanna incidents.
*The August [[2006]] updates to Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]] talk about the fluctuating level of Chris's shattered heart in the section covering the Hanna date. The same document also has a memorable remark on Mary Lee Walsh's destruction of the [[Attraction Sign]]: "IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL!"
*A 2007 [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|e-mail to Megan]] surely didn't creep her out in the slightest: "If I lost you...it would TOTALLY SHATTER my heart, my soul, my being."
*In a [[Facebook messages|Facebook message]] from January [[2008]], Chris bills himself as "Christian W. Chandler, a lonely Autistic, heart-shattered sap."
*Another Facebook message of January 2008 says "My heart is recovering very slowly; it's at like 15% [...] The lonliness hurts the remaining 85% of my heart sadly."
*On his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]], in its account of his feud with Mary Lee Walsh, Chris complains that "MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment."
*[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]], a curious video from the midst of the [[Liquid Chris]] fiasco, includes an apology to Mary Lee Walsh. Among other things, Chris says, "I forgive you for your misdeed of Heart-Shattering."
*Despite this, in his 2010 posts on the [[Sonichu_Forum#Chris_is_literally_a_filthy_liar|Sonichu Forum]], Chris was hung up on Walsh's shattering of his heart.
*After the CWCipedia was vandalized by [[trolls]] in [[May 2010]], Chris added the above quote to the heart level template on the front page while reverting troll vandalism.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Heartzero.jpg|0%
Image:Heart15.jpg|15%
Image:Heart20.jpg|20%
Image:Heart100.jpg|100%
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Scale of Respect]]
*[[Third date]]
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Hanna]]
*[[PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013]] – Chris's newer concept of flattened, steel-plated and bolted heart

==References==
<references/>
{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

October 2013 Facebook Posts

2014-01-01T21:40:32Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: The "I" is a typo for "if."

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted on October 2013.

==Summary==
* 3 [[October 2013]] - Chris posts an angry rant directed at [[Megan]].
* 4 October 2013 - Chris tells Megan to apologize to him personally, work and getting him unbanned from various commercial venues in his area and stop all internet trolling against him, or else he wouldn't remove the curse he has placed on her. Shortly afterwards on the same day he wrote another post, purportedly revealing the conversation between Megan, other Game Place patrons and store employees which led to the organized trolling campaign directed at Chris.
* 28 October 2013 - Chris made a post on Facebook to leave him alone again.
* 30 October 2013 - Chris undergoes perhaps his biggest Facebook meltdown yet, after he posts an e-mail from one of his high school [[gal pal]]s that someone forwarded to him. The e-mail reveals that none of his gal pals especially liked him as a person and only hung around with him out of pity, and that between his bizarre Facebook rants and [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], almost none of his high school "friends" have any desire to ever contact him again. In a subsequent post on the same day, Chris says that he was so crushed by this revelation that he considered suicide.

==Status Updates==
===Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 3 October 2013
<nowiki>**Megan Schroeder!**</nowiki>

You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, [[Trolls]], [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]] People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with [[Megagi La Skunk]]; [[Chris and reality|she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist]]. Also, your [[Sailor Megtune]] powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! [[Sailor Moon|Usagi and the Sailor Scouts]] would have been most ashamed of you.

You need to pay me what you owe for [[Chris and hypocrisy|Destroying Me, My Heart, My Soul, and My Life]] with your ungratefulness to [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|my past loyalty and devotion]]. You played me for a fool for Years, making me spend and spend on you with borrowed [[Chris and money|money]]! You continuously had Mimms an everyone else online humiliate me! I can not ever find employment now, because my background check has been made null and void with Your Damn Internet Troll Army! You would not even accept the Copies of the Uncut SM series I had burned for you! You conned me into giving you my Original DVDs. It is as if I was swindled into bargain basement, counterfeit imported crap. I poured my heart for you, and you break the glass pitcher the essence was stored in.

You need to pay me what you greatly owe me for Destroying Me! And [if] not or you and your army, stressing us out, my father would still be alive today! Face Me In Person and settle our Long Heated Rivalry and Domestic Hatred, NOW!!!}}

Chris also immediately posted two comments to his post:

{{quotebox|And by the way, [[Chris and religion|I pray]] you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch]] and the [[Michael Snyder|Bastard]]! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!}}

{{quotebox|NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!}}

===Apologize or else===

The next day he blamed Megan for this site.

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the [[Cwcki]], its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.}}

===GAMe PLACe revelations===

On the same day in which he posted the previous post, Chris made another one, correcting Megan's slanderous lies and revealing the true and honest truth about what happened at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs on to me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; His Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!"

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.}}

Immediately afterwards Chris posted the following comment to his post:

{{quotebox|NOBODY COMMENT OR EMAIL ME! I want HER to contact me In Person and Face to Face!}}

===Announcement===

{{quotebox|October 11, 2013

<nowiki>**Announcement**</nowiki>

Someone is pretending to be me in Spoofing and has been spamming the message screen capped below to a lot of people; likely those in my contact list on my AOL account.

Mainly, I have not ever been to the Phillipines; I am still in Ruckersville, VA; financial issues for real right here and now are irrelevant, and I am not in any trouble with any police or "embassy". Whoever is pretending to be me in this spoof attempt needs to stop or be stopped.

And in any case, please disregard the message if you have received it. — feeling pissed off.}}

===Mighty Wings Review===
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|October 15, 2013
I just had a 5 piece Mighty Wing at [[McDonalds]], with honey mustard; I had a sauce-free bite first. At the Forest Lakes location at least, there is a reason for offering a large drink free with 5 piece purchase. BOLDY SPICY!! They would do just as well offering a milk jug or two with purchase. They should make t-shirts: "I Survived the McD Mighty Wings!"}}

{{quotebox|Also, I just had my weight checked; lost seven pounds}}

===Another Announcement===
After the September 2013 Facebook leak on the [[CWCki Forums]], Chris posted the following:
{{quotebox|Monday, 28 October 2013

Announcement: Attention Everyone: Whoever has been capping and discussing my private posts, Please Stop It. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|I have no intention]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Apologize_or_else|towards anything online]], and my private thoughts I share Only with my [[Anna McLerran|Real Friends]] in my List Only should remain Private as such. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#GAMe_PLACe_revelations|And I have not been]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Announcement|whining about anyone]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|so please stop bothering people and telling them that I had]]. I will never be a member of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|anything]] about and/or against me online Ever, so any "kind offers" will be automatically rejected and ignored.

In other words, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Leave Me Alone and Quit Talking About Me At All]], you pinheaded [[Trolls]]!!!}}

===Reality Comes Knocking===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 30 October 2013

I had long thought I was liked genuinely as a person in [[Manchester High School]] by my closest [[gal pal]]s and everyone else. Now I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me.

Let me share a couple of recent [[emails]] from one of my friends. I am not doing this to be mean, cruel or bad, but it really hurts me emotionally.}}

{{quoteboxred|A lot of us were surprised, even shocked to see how much Christian had changed from the way we remembered him in high school. He was just this awkward, slightly-odd, shy kid back then. A lot of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|Special Ed kids]] got picked on but, [[Chris and his ego|for some reason]], Christian seemed to get it much worse than the others. _____ and _____ I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a [[Naive|lost little boy]]. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to [[My big 18th party|his 18th birthday party]].

_____ and _____ weren't so much friends of Christian's, as they were his protectors. Some kids used to mess with him and steal his stuff. These kids were constantly teasing Christian and picking on him, doing whatever they could to get some kind of reaction out of him. Mostly Christian just cried or ran away. I don't think I can remember a time where he tried to stand up to the bullies. He seemed to prefer to have other people do that for him.

No, I don't really follow Christian's activity on [[Facebook]]. I'm actually not on his friends list, for reasons I'd rather not discuss with someone I don't really know that well (no offense). I know a lot of the people that are on his friends list, and they mostly ignore him. He's basically background noise. The only time they really notice his posts is when he tags them. Some of the stuff he posts is kind of bizarre and disturbing, which is the main reason why I decided I didn't want to have any contact with him.

I'm also really creeped out that he's still obsessed with _____ and he's actively looking for her. She is well aware of this and she's taken steps to make sure that she's VERY hard, if not impossible, to find. Yes, I've been in touch with her, but I don't feel that I have her permission to pass along her contact information. I'll pass along your email address though, if that's OK. That way, she can contact you if she wants to.

A lot of people became friends with Christian because of the reunion and also, because a lot of them still felt sorry for him. Some people are having second thoughts though, after seeing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|that awful picture]] he drew of [[Megan|his friend]]. A lot of people stopped feeling sorry for him and started ignoring him after they saw that. I was shocked that he could draw something so gross and depraved. The "thumbs up" sign really pissed me off for some reason. The whole thing was very sexist, disrespectful, and, above all - damn creepy.

I have my suspicions about who may have leaked Christian's Facebook posts, but I'd rather not say, because I don't want to be involved in this. Christian accused this person of "leaking" the full list of classmates from our graduating class. Christian contacted some of his MHS friends and tried to make trouble. He told them to give this guy a hard time for what he did. His friends weren't amused. Anyway, I don't think Christian has anything to worry about. He's not friends with this guy anymore.}}

{{Quotebox|Once again, Not to be mean, cruel or bad:

I did not mean to sound cruel; I had thought you all were my friends for the sake of friendship, not for pity.

Really? REALLY?! You all thought of me as weak from first and outside impressions? For your information, I was not picked on as much as I am interpreting your exaggeration. If I was picked on as much as stated, I would have had wedgies, I would have been pestered in the Locker Room, I would have been shoved into a locker, etc., and NONE of those things have ever happened to me at all. I never expected any "protection" from anyone, and I looked up to you all as my Friends, Never like mothers. Oh, my god. I had no preference to anyone doing anything for me; I did a Lot of things for myself, including my homework. I was consistently on [[Honor Roll]]. Forgive me if my posts were not being considered "Normal" to you, but my life is what it is, and I am usually honest about details. NOBODY is happy or mentally sound 24/7/365. EVERYONE in this world has their own Mental Problems, No Matter What or Who. And frankly, I feel pissed off that you would judge me still for that ONE drawing that I had already elaborated on to make sure it had not been taken out of context. And [[Mimms]] is not to be trusted. If he really wanted to help me, he would have never EVER taken my photograph in [[2007]] and make mockery of me!

For everyone's information, I wanted to locate [[Tiffany Gowen]], because I wanted and needed my closest friend to talk to and find closure; I am Lonely and Sad! I went well out of my way to gather towards bringing everyone together for the reunion; I put a lot of the pure goodness I had felt in my my heart and soul into that work. Now I find out everyone was nice to me not for the sake of friendship or that they liked me, but because of sorry feelings!

I was mainstreamed throughout my education; [[Chris and reality|it had worked out well for me.]] I could be a lot worse off. I am not certain pity friendships are for the better for anyone, but real [[My_Little_Pony|friendships really are magic]] and healing, or at least they're supposed to be.

Well, now I know where I stand — feeling very sad.}}
Chris later added:
{{quotebox|This makes me so sad, I actually considered suicide. The only reasons I don't do it are [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and [[Clover and Snoopy|my dogs]], and that [[Chris and religion|premature death leaves one in Limbo]]. I am really hurt, and I feel emotionally paralyzed and numb. It all hurts.}}

===PLEASE UNDO IT!===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|
Look, Whoever reported me just now, PLEASE UNDO IT! I was typing a message to [[Gal pal#Molly Quarles|Molly Marie Quarles]] asking her if the recent email applied to her as well.}}

===Chris Will Only Accept Your Apologies In Person===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|If anyone wants to sincerely apologize to me or actually offer [[China|anything even remotely positive to me]], come to my house at [[14 Branchland Court]] in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]; I don't take [[emails]], [[phone calls]] or whatnot; those can be faked.}}

==Posts by Chris's Friends==
{{incomplete}}

==eBay Selling Feed==
{{incomplete}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Talk:Gal pal

2014-01-01T20:47:26Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

Does Chris actually have ''any'' friends? At all? --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 00:48, 28 September 2009 (CEST)

*I guess not. --[[User:UJ1985|UJ1985]] 04:07, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

*The thing is that he did at one point; back in high school and before. Most likely because he was forced into real social interaction on a regular basis, he made the adjustments to be as normal of a person as he would allow himself to/could be. Thus, he wasn't the complete and utter failure that he is today (though he still failed really hard). After graduating he was allowed to isolate, lose all connections he'd had, and eventually degenerate into the bedroom-dwelling LOLcow we know him to be today. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 05:24, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

*He does have friends now. Spoiler - the closest things to real friends are in fact, trolls. Most of the "friends" Chris will tell you he has are really people who talk to him at church who are probably more along the lines of acquaintances (at most). Oh, and he counts his parents as friends, lol. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:52, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

== How about Miss Vivian? ==

--[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 11:51, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== New Gal-pal page!==

It seems Chris has learned nothing about the dangers of revealing personal information about himself or others on the internet, and has just posted a new page with the bio's of all women he has considered to be gal pals. There are quite a few that haven't been mentioned yet, and could be questioned for further information... Should we try questioning them?

http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Gal-Pals_and_Past_Sweethearts

--[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 21:01, 18 April 2010 (EST)

:*Think that's bad? I think that last one is [[The Wallflower|The fucking Wallflower]]. GDI, Chris. GDI all to hell. We do all this to keep her from being dragged through all this after what happened nearly two months ago and Chris does it anyway.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 01:07, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

:** Well, we can officially say he's finally scarred her for life now... Her names out there, and no doubt she'll be plagued by trolls wanting more info on Chris. It's just like Megan all over again... --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 21:11, 18 April 2010 (EST)
:::*Jesus Fucking Christ. All of them. Just... All of them... What the fuck is he thinking? Oh, also, he confirms that he found his way into Liquid's E-Mail. I'm going to assume Liquid allowed him access, much like Smantha Thaddeus in ages past.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:20, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*On a practical subject, I've saved the page in case he gets a clue and takes it down, and no, I don't think it's wise to pester any of them. Most of 'em are girls he met a decade ago or more anyway. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 01:25, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

:* The fact that he list's Kellie Andes and Tiffany Robinson as his "sweethearts" just prove how delusional he is... He really believes he had a romantic relationship in grade school, and that Kelly Andes was his girlfriend in high school (interestingly enough, he adds "in my opinion". Perhaps this is proof he is slowly retreating into his own fantasy world...) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 21:26, 18 April 2010 (EST)

One more practical thought: should we mirror this page exactly here on the CWCki? (With a few edits to allow for the removal of the Wallflower's name and such.) It's been done with a couple other bits of CWCipedia content, like the Asperger's rant, it seems like this might be worth mirroring as well. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 01:34, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
:* I think we should. And, like you said, just remove the Wallflower's name and make a mention that it was because of the earlier agreement.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 01:36, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

*I saved the page source so we can mirror it. Another option might be to include the text for each girl on their individual pages, do a little "Chris on _____" subsection. But dear god, he says he knew better than to use her real name in the text DIRECTLY BENEATH HER REAL NAME. How can anybody be so amazingly stupid?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:35, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

** Easy... Chris doesn't care about protecting anyone's image or honor. All he care's is that his is spotless and represented as flawless. He's proven time and time again (Megan, Joshua, Wallfower, ect) that he's more than willing to spite someone else if he thinks it makes him look good --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 21:38, 18 April 2010 (EST)

Okay, I mirrored it, and drafted up a summary in [[User:Beat/Sandbox|My sandbox]]. I gotta get back to work on non-internet stuff, so if someone wants to pretty it up or post it as a regular article, be my guest.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:14, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== The Christian Truth ==

[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/The_Christian_Truth this is enlightening]. So apparently this is the best explanation we're going to get for why he's doing these monumentally idiotic things. He's unsatisfied with our disclosure of the truth, and is trying to counter it by sharing his own version. Normally this would be hilarious, but the fact that he's apparently planning a whole page on the wallflower's got me too pissed off to laugh right now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:28, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

* I was thinking of warning her, but she seems to have deleted her facebook page to avoid all Chris related inquiries --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 21:32, 18 April 2010 (EST)
* Oh well, Chris went back into "Auto-Pwn" mode. This was to be expected. As far as we are concerned, the CWCki staff acted diligently towards Wallflower's concerns of privacy. If no-one push these issues to Chris IRL, he will not stop. She need to be warned about this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:48, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I agree, I believe that either Cogs should have her email somewhere (she did after all get a hold of the Cwcki). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 02:55, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Miranda ==
http://htmlgear.tripod.com/gw/guest/control.guest?u=starytime check page 80 [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 03:59, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

"Error:: Unknown action -- 'a='".[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 05:03, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

http://htmlgear.tripod.com/gw/guest/control.guest?u=Starytime&a=view&i=1 try this [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 05:35, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

== Minor Correction ==

*Just corrected the names on the captions, if you cross reference "A Week in the Life of CWC" you will find the girl in Green next to Tiffany Gowen is actually Sarah Bevel. --[[User:CorinaLives|CorinaLives]] 14:14, 23 February 2011

== Stuff from late 2013 ==

Any thoughts on adding anything about their reactions on Facebook lately?

--[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 12:47, 1 January 2014 (PST)

User:Thepicklesuitintheman

2013-12-30T21:34:10Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: Blanked the page

Autism Tutorial Part 1

2011-02-14T17:14:03Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

'''Autism Tutorial Part 1''' is the first in a series of LittleBigPlanet levels Chris uploaded on February 13 2011. Chris once again reads off of [[Wikipedia]]'s [[autism]] article, this time adding his own two cents. Of note, Chris seems to be aware of the accepted cause of autism, and rightly blames [[Barb|his]] [[Bob Chandler|parents]] for it.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|ub8pBJN3Zbo}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]. And I am [[autistic]] – high-functionally autistic. In this animation, with [[Wikipedia]] facts and book diagrams and in my own words and opinions, we will look into autism: What it is, possible causes, and treatments and cures. And how we autistics SHOOOULD be treated and respected [''voice deepens with gravelly rage''] ''in real life social situations.''

First, autism: What is it? In a nutshell, it is a malfunctioning in the neural development that impairs [[Honest Content|social interactions]], [[Speech Impediment|communications]], and restrictive or [[CWC-isms|repetitive behaviors]]. In the brain, autism affects many parts. Autism especially affects the connection between the amygdala, the social and emotional behavioral gland, and the cerebral cortex and maybe cerebellum, the logic and goal-making parts.

The connectors between the matter is called the corpus callosum, which I believe is the most effective. In my theory, a cure may be found in repairing this major component of the brain. The facts also state that autism occurs pre-birth, sadly in mutated genetics within the chromosomes, which can happen when the pregnant mother [[Tobacky|smokes]], [[McDonald's|binges]], takes drugs or certain meds, and other non- or real environmental factors, such as car exhaust. ''Ladies, get off the [[Tobacky|drugs]] NOW.''

Another factor lies in the [[Bob Chandler|father’s]] age upon child conception. The [[Barb|mother’s]] age is not a factor here. DUDES, HAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE LIKE FORTY OR FIFTY! Anyway, the mutated chromosomes can involve deletion, duplication, and/or swapping. Scientists are still researching if- [''abrupt jump-cut'']

Common symptoms of autism include, and should be observed to notice: Little-to-no eye contact, mal-communication with delayed babbling, [[Claw of Fail|unusual gestures]], low responsiveness – try calling your name. At that young age, they seldom respond if they have autism – as well as [[Speech impediment|unsynched atypical vocal patterns]]. They also would have lack of intuition of other people, lack of attention to social stimuli, and little-to-no smiling. [[Things Chris has ripped off|Imagination]] and imaginative play is often blank in autistic minds, but with training they may be able to think in pictures at least, like the famous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin Miss Temple Grandon]. By the way, boys are more affected with autism than girls. That’s just the way it is.

Compulsive behavior, or a type of A.D.D. [[Jack Thaddeus|Attention Difi-Deficit Disorder]], is also common. In worse cases, self-destructive behavior such as self-cutting, hurting others, and bullying possibly, may be apparent. Fortunate for me I do not go into self-destructiveness. I do not hurt myself, and I [[Megan|do]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|not]] [[Ryan Cash|hurt]] [[Clyde Cash|others]]. The worst for me is essentially biting my fingernails… sometimes. Feeling restricted is also common. Staying within their [[Chris's Room|comfort zones]] with realistic behavior – oh, ritualistic behavior, and such. And with repetition in play, we may as well be walking around in circles… for infinity time! And [[Chris|some]] of us actually do.

Parents and guardians should be very watchful and cautious of any autistic symptoms, as they can be obvious by the age of three years old. I myself spoke first at six weeks with the word “monkey”, in an attempt at saying ''“mommy”''. My vocabulary and speech grew great until I stopped talking at one-and-a-half years old, and I did not speak again until I when was seven. The other infant symptoms followed in suit.

A controversy began when they blamed mercury in MMR vaccines. Though it was removed from all vaccines in early 2000, and yet the autism rate still grew over the decade.

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|}}

WeighIn

2010-10-28T06:45:07Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: Whoever wrote this part might be OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND divided by one thousand years old.

[[File:Towelrack.jpg|thumb|right|One explanation why Chris weighs less than 220lbs.]]

'''WeighIn''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris, to the surprise of us all, steps on a scale to weigh himself. He gives a weight of 216 lb (15 st 6 lb / 98 kg). This is quite shocking since there are many speculations to how much Chris weighs. For the longest time, many people have speculated that Chris was so fat…

* …that, when he fell, nobody laughed — but the ground was cracking up.
* …that the only "90210" Chris watches is on a bathroom scale.

The weight shown in this video may not be accurate. Chris does not show the scale being set to zero. The scale looks pretty [[Bob Chandler|old]] and could have just been broken when he stepped on it or Chris, being a liar, could have set the scale in advance. For the record, his stated weight still marks him as [[obesity|obese]] for a man of his height (5'10", or 175cm).[http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi_scripts/bmi_udaim.pl?htf=5&hti=10&wt=216&scale=english&submit_e=Submit]

It is also revealed that Chris is wearing tape wrapped around the bridge of his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The reason behind this is unknown. Some people say it's because he got [[Kick the Autistic|punched in the face]]. One can only hope.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WeighIn
| video = {{#ev:youtube|og-3s0n91Ys}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#At_Least_My_Face_Is_Not_F3c7ing_Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange ]]
| next = [[FullHouse]]
}}

===Transcript===

Here is the official weigh-in on Sunday, September twenty- [[October 2010|October 24th 2010]].

[''Aims camera, jerkily, at scale readout.'']

If I can stay still long enough.

Hmmm.

Anyway it says 216.

[''Speaks into the camera again. His [[Glasses|glasses]] are now on his face and the bridge appears to be wrapped in tape.'']

Currently I'm 216 pounds.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DayOut]]|nextlink=[[FullHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and money

2010-10-22T11:54:21Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris's only source of income is the $809 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,708 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> This payment was later increased to $565 after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month - more commonly known as "food stamps."

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, [[Chris_and_His_Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] has been encouraging his son to remain unemployed, since he believes that Chris will earn more money from his monthly tugboat than from getting a job. However, this assumption is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260 - $15,100 annually. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his [[Barb|coddling]] [[Bob|parents]] are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they have managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him fast food on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and [[sex toys|useless stuff]], as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Bob and Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that his [[target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails_2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By then, Bob Chandler had had to step in, forcing Chris to put the brakes on his spending and pay down his debt according to a regular schedule. Chris, unaware of or uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit-card debt accrues vast amounts of interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, a la North Korea.

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is in the United States and states, let alone cities, while each has considerable power, cannot print its own money. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states used to issue their own money - when they were colonies, and during hard times like the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to frution in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as a building ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for [[virgin]]s. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, à-la the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|24]]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

== Best Buy Mastercard ==

In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it was revealed by Bob himself that Chris not only has a Mastercard charge account acquired through Best Buy, but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had somehow used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claims that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from Chris is unknown. Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point.

Bob continues that the resulting transactions may have ruined Chris' credit rating (though that ship has ''long'' since fucking sailed), and, in a disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seems to use this damning information to try to make Chris' latest brush with the [[Law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what has actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* Trolls have achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme has, just by chance, hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and is now blaming his crippling debt on [[Trolls]], in another transparent attempt to not have to take responsibility.

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Chris and money

2010-10-22T11:52:26Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* In the comic */

{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris's only source of income is the $809 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month, placing his annual income at $9,708 a year. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref> This payment was later increased to $565 after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref> In addition, Chris and his family get [[Wikipedia:Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program|SNAP]] money every month - more commonly known as "food stamps."

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, [[Chris_and_His_Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].}}

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] has been encouraging his son to remain unemployed, since he believes that Chris will earn more money from his monthly tugboat than from getting a job. However, this assumption is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260 - $15,100 annually. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth monthly, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, as in, for more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $4,200 Chris pulls annually from the government after paying off his parents (roughly equal to what he's spent in total so far on his PS3); it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement comes from either delusion or knowing that his son is a [[fail]]ure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his [[Barb|coddling]] [[Bob|parents]] are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they have managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him fast food on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and [[sex toys|useless stuff]], as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Bob and Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that his [[target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> Again, this demonstrates his idiocy since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Apparently, this is too complex for Chris's autistic mind. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==
As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increases by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails_2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By then, Bob Chandler had had to step in, forcing Chris to put the brakes on his spending and pay down his debt according to a regular schedule. Chris, unaware of or uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit-card debt accrues vast amounts of interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, a la North Korea.

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is in the United States and states, let alone cities, while each has considerable power, cannot print their own money. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states used to issue their own money - when they were colonies, and during hard times like the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

==In other works==
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to frution in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as a building ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for [[virgin]]s. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, à-la the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|24]]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

Chris also seems to not understand that [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|if the health department, of Greene County, sees that TV show, that he put on the damn TV, they could be evicted, and he would have to move out]].

== Best Buy Mastercard ==

In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it was revealed by Bob himself that Chris not only has a Mastercard charge account acquired through Best Buy, but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had somehow used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claims that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from Chris is unknown. Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point.

Bob continues that the resulting transactions may have ruined Chris' credit rating (though that ship has ''long'' since fucking sailed), and, in a disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seems to use this damning information to try to make Chris' latest brush with the [[Law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what has actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* Trolls have achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme has, just by chance, hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and is now blaming his crippling debt on [[Trolls]], in another transparent attempt to not have to take responsibility.

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat

2010-10-15T11:09:29Z

Thepicklesuitintheman:

'''I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat''' is a video Chris uploaded on 14 October 2010. In this video, Chris has seemingly abandoned his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]s for magic spells, invoking [[Harry Potter]], a franchise [[Chris and Hypocrisy|he once despised]] due to being more popular than [[Pokemon]].

Chris is wearing some sort of robe (perhaps his bathrobe) over his shirt, but contrary to the title of the video, at no point does he put on any kind of hat.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZHGSwkjKw7c}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2279‎]]
| next = [[100 2281‎]]
}}

== Transcription ==
[[File:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|100px|left|[[Bob]] puts on ''his'' [[Chris and Race#Parental influence|Wizard's cloak and magic hat]].]]
[''Chris comes into view, wearing a robe over his shirt and waving his PlayStation Move controller. He's heavily backlit, so we mainly just see his silhouette.'']

Aye, I have been in the world of Hogwarts and I have a learned a spell or two, and I shall cast ye spell.

[''He makes some motions with the Move controller.'']

On all ye vandals out there, who have cursed my name. For I am a straight man! And you all are the homosexuals, because you mislabel me and misjudge me. And now you shall be bespelled, and be spelled!

[''He pauses to wave his wand some more.'']

You speak ill of me and you speak of bad judgment, you shall have a pain in the leg! Ericcus trollisus ericcus bustisus!

[''Having finished his incantation, Chris leans over and turns off the camera.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2279‎]]|nextlink=[[100 2281‎]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-10-11T23:16:51Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Discovery */

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-Chan
Riccardo

CWC

Solid Chris
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| estimated at about 300 lbs (136 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Welfare leech

Making [[fail|failtastic]] [[Sonichu]] comics
|-
|}

{{Quote|"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante_Alighieri Dante Alighieri's] [http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Divine_Comedy/Inferno/Canto_III ''Inferno'', canto III, verse IX]}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'', is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|stubborn]], [[Chris and religion|heretical]], [[art|completely]] and [[writing|utterly]] [[music|untalented]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit videogame franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]]]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick."

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{-}}
==Overview==

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance.)

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian," which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at [[Wikipedia:KB Toys|Kay Bee Toys]] as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]]]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|[[Wikipedia:David Hume|David Hume]], [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]]}}

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==

{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==

{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]] [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]]!]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Cwcville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-10-11T23:13:16Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/harebrained

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-Chan
Riccardo

CWC

Solid Chris
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| estimated at about 300 lbs (136 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Welfare leech

Making [[fail|failtastic]] [[Sonichu]] comics
|-
|}

{{Quote|"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante_Alighieri Dante Alighieri's] [http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Divine_Comedy/Inferno/Canto_III ''Inferno'', canto III, verse IX]}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'', is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|stubborn]], [[Chris and religion|heretical]], [[art|completely]] and [[writing|utterly]] [[music|untalented]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit videogame franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]]]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick."

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{-}}
==Overview==

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance.)

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian," which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at [[Wikipedia:KB Toys|Kay Bee Toys]] as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]]]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|[[Wikipedia:David Hume|David Hume]], [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]]}}

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==

{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and [[hair|hare]]brained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==

{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]] [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]]!]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Cwcville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Template:Da update

2010-10-11T15:55:00Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: To lather implies to foam. Lathering is what you do (and Chris doesn't) with soap in the shower. Slathering is what you do with barbacue sauce to ribs.

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 11 October - Chris slathers himself in blue paint and transforms into his [[ECV 00002|super-mode]].
* 9 October - Chris [[ECV 00001|explains]] what the [[Cherokee]] are with a Playstation Move and then he goes on [[A Hike]].
* 7 October - Chris uploads a [[100 2267|video]] where he impersonates [[Clyde Cash]], then [[100 2270|goes on]] to impersonate [[Alec Benson Leary]] and Paul McCartney of The Beatles [[100 2269|too]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 3 October - Chris decides to [[100 2265|dress up as the Hamburglar]].
* 2 October - Chris creates a [[I like Mary Poppins|new video]] of him dancing like Mary Poppins, and uploads the full version of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin']].
* 1 October - Chris makes another [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]].
('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

A Hike

2010-10-10T11:02:03Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Notes */

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello.]]
'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. Top men calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail]
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [[Wikipedia:Monticello|The Monticello]]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''OFF!'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump Cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that my congregation and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a-

''[Jump Cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check it a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump Cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. A really big stick. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. ''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin'. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open. Preferred by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, they know that people go this way in the fork of the road. On their way back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

In just a moment, I'm going to head by to my car. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump Cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==Notes==
While difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail (found [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf here]), we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 822 feet. In addition, Chris had climbed 40 feet in elevation.

The map also conveys the length of the trail segments we suspect Chris walked. Adding those together and calculating the distance it takes to get to those trails yields a grand total of .59 miles (less than 1 km) before Chris reaches his “dead end,” wheezing and covered in sweat.

Chris repeatedly refers to Monticello, the historic home of famed Virginian and Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, as ''The'' Monticello for no reason.

==See also==
* [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf Map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail] — What an average human could walk through in less than fifteen minutes without breaking a sweat.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00001]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:ECV 00001

2010-10-10T10:59:22Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Spelling */

{{Not A Forum}}

Transcribed, needs tweaking on a few lines. [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 18:31, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

The PSeye is needed for any of the Move games, so expect video quality to take a dive in the near future. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]] 18:50, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

==Wikipedia==

Aside from mentioning Wikipedia, a lot of the shit he says comes right from [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia Cherokee entry]]. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 18:58, 9 October 2010 (PDT)

== PlayStation Move? ==

As if that fat fuck is going to “move” for anything. Also, we should make a note that he spent $100 for the accessory using his [[Monthly tugboat|check meant for his “disability”]]. (Monthly tugboat tag?) --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 00:16, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
:Perhaps that would be best suited for a separate [[PS Move of Fail]] page. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:53, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

== Spelling ==

When he spells out 'Cherokee', according to the transcription he misses an E. However, one can clearly hear that the video skips at that point- as such, while Chris certainly makes some (a lot of) errors in grammar, he got the spelling right this time. I'll be correcting the transcription now, feel free to revert it if I'm wrong about this. [[User:Doctor Nuriel|Doctor Nuriel]] 02:49, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
:I, for one, definitely hear kind of an "eh--" between the H and the R. I think it just skipped. If it were up to me, I'd say he said E. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 03:59, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

A Hike

2010-10-10T10:40:30Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Notes */

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello.]]
'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. Top men calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail]
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [[Wikipedia:Monticello|The Monticello]]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''OFF!'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump Cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that my congregation and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a-

''[Jump Cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check it a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump Cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. A really big stick. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. ''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin'. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open. Preferred by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, they know that people go this way in the fork of the road. On their way back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

In just a moment, I'm going to head by to my car. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump Cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==Notes==
While difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail (found [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf here]), we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 822 feet. In addition, Chris had climbed 40 feet in elevation.

The map also conveys the length of the trail segments we suspect Chris walked. Adding those together and calculating the distance it takes to get to those trails yields a grand total of .59 miles (less than 1 km) before Chris reaches his “dead end,” wheezing and covered in sweat.

Chris consistently refers to Monticello, the historic home of famed Virginian and Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, as ''The'' Monticello for no reason.

==See also==
* [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf Map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail] — What an average human could walk through in less than fifteen minutes without breaking a sweat.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00001]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

A Hike

2010-10-10T10:35:56Z

Thepicklesuitintheman: /* Transcription */

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello.]]
'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. Top men calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail]
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [[Wikipedia:Monticello|The Monticello]]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''OFF!'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump Cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that my congregation and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a-

''[Jump Cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check it a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump Cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. A really big stick. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. ''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin'. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open. Preferred by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, they know that people go this way in the fork of the road. On their way back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

In just a moment, I'm going to head by to my car. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump Cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==Notes==
While difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail (found [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf here]), we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 822 feet. In addition, Chris had climbed 40 feet in elevation.

The map also conveys the length of the trail segments we suspect Chris walked. Adding those together and calculating the distance it takes to get to those trails yields a grand total of .59 miles (less than 1 km) before Chris reaches his “dead end,” wheezing and covered in sweat.

==See also==
* [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf Map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail] — What an average human could walk through in less than fifteen minutes without breaking a sweat.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00001]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]