guess i'll transcribe this BITCH!

also if there gets to be more of these videos, i say probably combine them all into one page (The DayOut videos) like we did with the ps3 smashing videos. just my two pennies. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 14:47, 25 October 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

* Yeah, that sounds good. It's up to something like "DayOut8" now. Oddly, I can't find Dayout2-7. Might still be in the uploader. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 14:51, 25 October 2010 (PDT)
** Jesus fuck. Ok, making a new page then. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 14:55, 25 October 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!
** He just uploaded another one at Burger King called "Dayout3", where he [[Lie|Proclaims he's not a fast food addict]]. I assume the others will be up in a matter of minutes.

There's at least two more driving videos he uploaded. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 14:50, 25 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:DayOut2

2010-10-25T21:51:06Z

Therealgodbear:

A Workout

2010-10-25T21:45:54Z

Therealgodbear:

'''A Workout''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 19 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris appears to have stuffed his [[muscle bra]] again and performs [[Chris_and_health#Exercise|a workout routine]] to "Ass 'N' Titties" by [[Wikipedia:DJ Assault|DJ Assault]], specifically a [[YouTube]] video which includes dancing by various ''World of Warcraft'' characters. Why stuffing his bra with fake breasts for a work-out video was a necessity is a mystery whose answer is only known by Chris.

With the aid of readily available fitness calculators, [[Trolls|top men]] estimate Chris burned roughly 32 calories. Approximately one tenth of a serving of [[My Coke Rewards|cola]]. Further perspective can be gained by comparing how long it takes other activities to burn 32 calories: [[Chris_and_art|Drawing]] (7 minutes), [[PS3|Playing video games]] (11 minutes), [[Mass Debating]] (12 minutes), [[Chris_and_television|Lying motionlessly while watching TV]] (15 minutes) and [[Chris_and_religion|Kneeling while praying]] (15 minutes).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Workout
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_2PMKRwgAEw}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = VA Red Cross Blood Donor, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
'''''0:00-0:10''' Video starts with Chris putting on Ass 'n' Titties by DJ Assault. Chris faces the camera with his stuffed [[Muscle_bra|muscle bra]] and starts [[Fail|exercising]] by punching spastically in time to the beats. ''

'''''0:11-0:24''' He then begins doing his version of jumping jacks.''

'''''0:25-0:59''' Chris starts swaying his hips from side to side before doing several [[CWC_Fighter|Chun Li kicks]]. He noticeably begins to slow down here but continues on and adds spastic punches as well.''

'''''1:00-1:27''' He starts twisting side to side with stuffed muscle bra in full view. [[Slow_in_the_minds|Chris loses the beat]] of the track at this point.''

'''''1:28-1:54''' Next up he starts stretching his arms to the ground and back up. Though he speeds up again for a few seconds, he goes back to slow relatively quickly.''

'''''1:55-2:11''' Chris starts stretching his arms down each arm individually.''

'''''2:12-2:19''' Here he stretches out his back with his [[Obesity|fat autistic gut]] on display.''

'''''2:20-2:43''' Next he begins twisting side to side again momentarily before doing jumping jacks again with poor posture.''

'''''2:44-3:05''' Begins punching again, taking a brief look at his screen. Starts punching side to side.''

'''''3:06-3:23''' Chris twists side to side again, this time with his arms open and being twice as slow as the rhythm.''

'''''3:24-3:29''' Punches upwards and then back forwards. Music stops. Chris faces the camera and gropes his own man tits.''

Feel her boobies!

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 12 Second Power Workout With Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EJNtY52H2Oc}}
| Maker = ChristopherCooler
| Stardate = 19 October 2010
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan is Loco-Motion
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QkEG1t2botM}}
| Maker = DrNurse
| Stardate = 19 [[October 2010]]
| Video Type = Workout Video
}}

==See also==
*[[CWC Fighter]]
*[[11042009 51 50‎|51 50]]
*[[30 Push-Ups]]
*[[Power]]
*[[I AM STRONG]]

==External link==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ5-iZYHBEc The video in the background]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

2010-10-19T23:04:28Z

Therealgodbear:

[[Image:Exterminate the Homos.png|center|350px]]
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|300px|Christian Weston Chandler]]

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==

[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]]]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of five possibilities:

# Chris is a [[Wikipedia:heterosexuality|heterosexual]], but thinks that the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed [[Wikipedia:homosexuality|homosexual]], so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is [[Wikipedia:bisexuality|bisexual]], but his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is [[Wikipedia:asexuality|asexual]] and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.
# Chris is [[autistic]], and was raised by very old and conservative people. This combination caused him to learn about sex at a delayed rate, and causes him to interpret sexuality in peculiar ways. Hating homos helps Chis organize his confusing sexual knowledge, and adheres to his parental/religion-based morals.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course, we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==

Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris groping them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]]]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

In Chris's ''Carrie'' ripoff "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time. Chris's description of what happens after makes it pretty clear that he fantasized about beating up guys who called him gay.
{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]].''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]] who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref>[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref>[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene," and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for ''"DA HOMOS"''. In the [[Matthew_Noble_call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael_Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Whether or not this is true is debatable, but given Chris' antics and behavior towards them several years ago, this statement could very well be true.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop] ]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>
*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women.]]
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.
* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In addition, the article for "Homosexuality" was created on 8 [[August 2009]]. The article for [[Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until six months later.
* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* Another ''ModNation Racers'' vehicle of Chris's, "[[Count Graduon]]'s Scepter", looks like a dildo with glitter on it.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1474124</ref>

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==

[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Recent transgender tendencies==
[[File:Feelyourtatas.jpg|150px|thumb|right|...]]
Like shoving [[Dildo|dildos]] and [[Julie Reveals Herself|medallions]] up his ass, as well as wearing a [[muscle bra]], a recent set of videos released on 19 October 2010 took Chris's faggotry to a whole new level. One [[Pregnant Act|Video]] features the apparently [[Obesity|pregnant]] Chris giving birth to [[Lil' Chris]]. In another video, Chris, possibly under the influence of [[Jackie]], wore the [[Plush Breasts of Fail]] under his sports bra in an astoundingly creepy [[Breast Cancer Awareness|PSA]] for Breast Cancer. Trolls have speculated that [[Monthly Tugboat|with your help]], a South Park inspired Chris will be going to a sex change operation soon, assuming Chris doesn't piss that [[Chris and Money|money]] away on [[PS3]] games and moar [[Dildo|dildos]].

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations". Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Its OK to be GAY Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) comes clean
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:27:30Z

Therealgodbear:

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:27:02Z

Therealgodbear:

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:26:16Z

Therealgodbear:

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:23:31Z

2010-09-16T21:09:39Z

Therealgodbear:

{{quote|I have no...I have no hate... I have little... [[Chris and anger|I have no hatred or anger]] towards the [[Homos|gay men]]. [[It's UGH!|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. I'm cool with...I'm cool with you gays, you know?|Chris [[List of Chris's lies|lying]] to impress [[china]]}}

'''XBox is OK.MOV''' is the second of two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris makes various declarations including a recanting of his [[Hex Box|Xbox]] hatred, stating that he has nothing against the [[homos|gay men]], and removing any [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] he placed. Chris appears to be trying to clear his name, perhaps to demonstrate to a certain [[Jackie|sweetheart]] that he has changed his ways. The Apocalypse is expected to come any day now.

It is unclear why Chris has had a change of heart over the Xbox. Having shown his first [[PS3]] no love by [[The MovingForward videos|destroying it]], it only took Chris a matter of days to purchase a new one. This new PS3 appears in the video, and is used in the first video Chris uploaded earlier the same day.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = XBox is OK.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hVHNdHEz0hM}}
| stardate = 13 September 2010
| style = {{smug|text}}, {{reason|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
| next = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
}}

== Transcript ==

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate September 13, 2010.

I am making this video to make a public statement.

I no longer have any angst or hatred or anything, any beef, against the Xbox. It is a good console, a very good console, prob-a about equally good as a PS3, cannot play BluRay, but! It is still a good console and is just another gaming console. Just like...you know, I guess, PS...a PS3 is another gaming console, another [[Wii]], or a Wii is another gaming console.

[''Turns to his TV''] And you notice that there's a depreciation in the number of gaming consoles in the center [''gestures at the TV; Chris's [[:File:ModNation XBox360ko.jpg|Xbox 360ko]] [[ModNation Racers|Mod]] is visibly idling on the screen''] because, the gaming addiction is gooone! I... [[Autism|[''loses train of thought momentarily'']]] I have gotten rid of the hoarded systems - [[List of Chris's games|systems and games]] that have been, I have hoarded for a number of years.

And also, I would like to make another statement. [''Looks away from the camera''] I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have [[Chris and anger|no hatred or anger]] towards the gay men. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. [''Chris looks visibly insincere''] I'm cool with...[[It's UGH!|I'm cool with you gays]], you know? You go do what you want to do, just you know, [[Honest Content|keep it to yourselves]]. That's all. We're all equal people. We have every right to live our lives free however...each, however each of us individually chooses. So there.

[''pauses and shifts positioning'']

[''mumbles''] Uh, let's see that was another thing...another thing. Hmm.

Anyway that's, uh, that's essentially it. Oh yes I just remembered the other thing. [''Holds up a hand in forgiveness blessing fashion''] I remove ALL [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|hexes and curses]] to every single person I have ever...around the world that I have ever left a curse on. So consider yourselves [''wave of his arm''] cleansed! [[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|You're all forgiven.]] Every last one of you. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness!]]

And with that I bid you a good day and a safe one too, all of you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:01:09Z

Therealgodbear:

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a very strange video uploaded 16 September 2010. In another [[Fail|failureific]] attempt to impress [[Jackie]], Chris dons [[Niggos|blackface]] and a [[Chris and Race|towel on his head]] while [[Chris and Music|"singing"]] a currently unknown song. Note that "singing" is in quotes because Chris's grating mumblings make even Chris's [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|ill-fated music career]] sound like a Soprano by comparison. At this point, Jackie's reaction is unknown...

==Video==
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TzAJvMKQeJA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TzAJvMKQeJA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

===Transcript===
{{transcription}}

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:00:35Z

Therealgodbear:

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a very strange video uploaded 16 September 2010. In another [[Fail|failureific]] attempt to impress [[Jackie]], Chris dons [[Niggos|Blackface]] and a [[Chris and Race|towel on his head]] while [[Chris and Music|"singing"]] a currently unknown song. Note that "singing" is in parenthesis because Chris's grating mumblings make even Chris's [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|ill-fated music career]] sound like a Soprano by comparison. At this point, Jackie's reaction is unknown...

==Video==
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TzAJvMKQeJA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TzAJvMKQeJA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

===Transcript===
{{transcription}}

Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T20:59:15Z

Therealgodbear:

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a very strange video uploaded 16 September 2010. In another failureific attempt to impress [[Jackie]], Chris dons [[Niggos|Blackface]] and a [[Chris and Race|towel on his head]] while [[Chris and Music|"singing"]] a currently unknown song. Note that "singing" is in parenthesis because Chris's grating mumblings make even Chris's [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|ill-fated music career]] sound like a Soprano by comparison.

==Video==
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TzAJvMKQeJA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TzAJvMKQeJA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

===Transcript===
{{transcription}}

CWCville Mayoral Office

2010-04-26T19:23:33Z

Therealgodbear: Political Faggotry

[[Image:Allison_Amber_2.jpg|thumb|right|Because a perfectly rational politician keeps a photo of the Gimp in the reception of his office]]
The '''CWCville Mayoral Office''' is the personal workplace of [[CWCville]] Mayor [[BILLY MAYS]]. It is situated inside the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

==Layout==
The average architect would describe his office layout as "ridiculously huge". Though when represented in the comics, it tends to seem rather plain with basic office furnishings... or something... and painted a blue color. Still, it's pretty big 'cause you know... he's the mayor. How many [[Money|taxpayer dollars]] were wasted in its construction remains a mystery. Although, it is a fair assumption that [[CWCville]] citizens are heavily taxed.

[[Image:Mayor's_office.jpg|thumb|center|Wow... it's... a violation of all things feng shui.]]

The reception is staffed by the ever vigilant [[Allison Amber]] who does all the hard work because the mayor is too lazy.

As was revealed in [[Sonichu_6]], the portal to CWCville leads directly to the mayor's office. Additionally, the reception has a bunch of buttons that summon the [[Sonichu_(species)|police]], the Power Rangers, and [[Samurai_Pizza_Bots|some robots no one had even heard of until really late in the comic]].

==Purpose==
No one really knows seeing as how CWCville doesn't really seem to have a coherent government. As of yet, there doesn't seem to be any mention of town council or a forum for citizens to voice their opinions. All things you would expect of a typical mayor's office. Although the recent events of [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]] seem to show that people can call up the mayor's office when the city is under attack. Though this might be helpful for the average citizen, one has to wonder where all the administrative functions take place. At this point, we're all a little used to plot holes in Chris's comics. Popular culture however, usually deems CWCville to be a dictatorship, making the office the place where the various diktats are signed.

In other words, it's amazingly useless.

==Communication==
Chris's Nintendo DS has a custom uplink keeping him connected with this office at all times, so that he can always be aware of any pressing danger. Not that he has ever used it for this purpose. A sudden call to come for an emergency in CWCville would have been an interesting plot device. Sadly, "interesting" need not apply to this comic.

==Daily business==
During Chris's tenure as mayor, he was a very lousy administrator, as he neglected his duties often to fight [[Jerkops]] in the mall. Chris also has never explained why he simply doesn't fire these rogue employees that hate him so. He introduced his assistant, [[Allison Amber]], in [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]] as the person who does all of the actual work while he gets beaten-up by his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|evil gay twin]].

Rumor has it that Chris bought his way into office, as no sane person would elect a [[George W. Bush|retarded]] [[Barack Obama|man-child]] to a position of leadership.

==Nepotism==
In [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]], Chris gave an influent post to his twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Chandler]] for no apparent reason. Knowing that Sonichu and his family are also sustained by the city, it let us to believe that the mayoral office is run like an african country; If the man in power is in your family, you got a job for life.

==Links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office ]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Places]]

User:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T02:54:27Z

Therealgodbear:

{{Protip|This was the real Chris.}}
Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)